#other times he got ✨ rizz ✨

[sparkles-rule-4eva]

A silly conversation I had once with my brother 🤭

[il-miele-che-scrive]

Could you do something with Lewis, maybe reader and Lewis have been dating for a while but she’s famous too so they kept things really private, but they got married over the winter break and now the other drivers are finding out

Hello 🫶 lately I've been doing more smaus so I decided to make this one a smau also, hoping you'll like it 🩷

yourusername I still haven't gotten used to seeing myself on those huge ads

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georgerussell63 A supermodel and an actress not being used to seeing herself in ads? 🤨

↳yourusername When was the last time you were walking down the street and saw a picture of you casually hanging on a building? 🤨 Let me tell you it always takes you by surprise, George

carmenmmundt How are you so beautiful? 😭

↳yourusername I love you Carmen 😭

oscarpiastri Good job, Y/n👏

danielricciardo What an abundance of beauty you are

landonorris an amazing day to have eyes

charles_leclerc Can't take my eyes off you

zhouguanyu24 You haven't posted in months and that's what you decided to post?🙄

↳username1 AND SHE ATE

carlossainz55 See you in Vegas soon 👋

tchalamet You busy lately? We haven't been in a movie together for a while

↳username2 Co-star rizz lmao

username3 It's so weird to me how Y/n is the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen and she's SINGLE

↳username4 It's her choice

username3 And she made it while having f1 drivers and timothee casually flirting with her in the comment section

username4 Doesn't seem that much like flirting to me 🤷‍♀️ she's friends with Carmen and George so she's gonna have the drivers in her comments. And Tim is like her bestie

username3 Are you blind 😭 okay maybe Oscar's comment is friendly, but the rest is definitely flirting!!

username4 Whatever feeds your delusions I guess. I don't think she's single, she might just be keeping her relationship super private. Exactly because of fans like you

yourusername Nothing beats a date in Las Vegas

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username1 A DATE. IN VEGAS.

username2 Okay guys, which driver do we think took her on the date?

↳username3 I'm saying Lando, it's a very Lando thing to do

username4 imo he was too busy healing from this terrible crash he had lmao

username5 Plus Lando is too young for her, I'd say Danny Ric

username4 yooo y/n and danny would be a great couple, I hope you're right

username6 Do you guys remember what Carlos commented under her previous post?? "See you in Vegas" or smth

↳username4 yeah but it could be just because she was invited to the paddock

username6 Like usually. But did you ever see any driver say anything like see you there and there before other races?

carmenmmundt YOU WENT ON A DATE?

↳georgerussell63 @/yourusername reply immediately and say who took you

yourusername Mom, dad, I'm terribly sorry I didn't tell you 😭

carmenmmundt This doesn't answer our questions...

↳username1 Help even they didn't know lol

username7 It could be anybody, guys. Y/n has most of the drivers in her likes

↳username2 Then maybe it's someone who isn't in the likes? 🤭

username7 Well, then we have Alonso, Bottas, Hamilton and a few others, it doesn't make it easier

username3 She'll say who it is when they're both ready but I wish it would happen as soon as possible

username9 LMAO none of the guys from the previous post commented now

↳username5 She just subtly told them too f off cuz she's taken 😭

username8 I can't wait until the winter break, I know something is gonna happen...

yourusername He made me get my first tattoo lol

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username1 WHAT?? IS?? HAPPENING??

↳username2 idk looks like miss girl moved, got a tattoo and then decided to travel around 😐

carmenmmundt When are we going to talk about who is "he"?

↳yourusername When the timing is right ✨

georgerussell63 Whoever he is, he's a bad influence on you 🙄

↳yourusername Mom can you tell dad to quit my comment section @/carmenmmundt

username3 Y/n moved to Monaco 😭

↳username4 And how do you know that?

username3 Haven't you heard she was seen there?

username4 And? Celebs love Monaco

username3 Exactly. So she moved there. Possibly with her secret boyfriend

username5 Okay so what we know about Y/n's secret man is they live together in Monaco, he could be an F1 driver and he must have tattoos (because why would he make her get one otherwise?)

↳username6 IT'S DANNY RIC I'M TELLING Y'ALL

username7 Well there's also Hamilton who has quite a lot of tattoos

username8 And Alonso and Stroll, she didn't say how many tattoos her bf has, could be as well one or two

username5 Don't forget some drivers might have them hidden and never spoke about them

username9 To be fair she didn't say if he has any in general lol

danielricciardo What about a party in the new apartment?

↳username6 Yeah, keep telling me it's not him

↳yourusername Most likely when I'm back from my lil vacation

lewishamilton Winter break

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username1 EXCUSE ME

username2 SIR LEWIS HAMILTON, EXPLAIN THE LAST PHOTO

username3 Don't panic, guys, it is me in the 4th pic

username4 I know he's an almost 40 years old man but I'm still shocked

username5 ngl that woman's hand looks familiar...

username6 Not even a tag on the last pic? 😕

username7 Silly season starting early this year 😭

↳username4 Yeah, firstly he dropped the bomb about moving to Ferrari and now THIS

username7 Man said lemme dominate this winter break 🤠

landonorris congrats i guess?

carlossainz55 Unexpected but happy for you!

georgerussell63 I'm calling Toto, you're lucky he doesn't have social media

username8 I can't believe he kept it a secret from all the drivers lol

↳username7 And for so long too!! I mean, you don't marry someone you started dating a month ago, it could've been going on for YEARS

charles_leclerc When will we meet this mysterious lady?

↳lewishamilton I'm sure you all know her well

↳username7 Leclerc better stay away 🤺

username9 You guys don't ever know how sure I am that it's Y/n

↳username10 I won't believe it until they confirm it

username9 Yeah because it's a total coincidence Y/n recently moved to Monaco, got a tattoo because "her bf made her" and also went on a trip

yourusername Shik shak shok

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username1 I KNEW IT I KNEW IT

username2 The couple I never knew I needed

username3 Two fashion icons

username4 Honestly is anyone surprised? Like, okay, unexpected, but I'm not surprised Lewis is dating one of the most famous models/actresses in the world

↳username5 I am surprised tbh 😭 I think a lot of people expected DR3, not LH44

username6 rip to all the drivers who used to hit on Y/n in her comment section 💀

username7 So Y/n is dating LH44 and is best friends with the girlfriend of GR63?

↳username8 She copied her lol

username7 Except Carmen's bf hasn't ever won the world champion title lmao

↳username9 That's a real friendship. Going for drivers from the same team

username10 I need to know how did they mange to keep it a secret for so long 😭

↳username11 Yeah cuz I can't believe even Toto himself had no idea

username12 Something about them being married makes so much sense, I love them

username13 Imagine when we start seeing them doing ads together omg

↳username14 ads? 💀 now that they're out and married I expect lots of content together on both their accounts AND on Drive to survive and just anywhere

username11 tbh who cares about the races, they can just display Y/n on the screen for 2h and I'd watch

y/nhamilton btw we used to date but now we're just married (and thanks @/zhouguanyu24 for keeping our secret)

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carmenmmundt I was just as shocked as the fans

landonorris somehow I'm not surprised Zhou knew

↳username1 And he knew about both THIS and Lewis moving to Ferrari!! And kept quiet both times!

↳charles_leclerc I wonder what else Zhou knows that we don't

username2 Zhou Guanyu is officially the most trustworthy guy on the grid

↳username3 And I thought it'd be Oscar...

username4 Does it mean more iconic Y/n outfits on the paddock? 😍

↳y/nhamilton And matching outfits! 🤭

username2 Oh they're gonna kill it!!

username5 I need a friend like Zhou

zhouguanyu24 You're welcome 😌

↳y/nhamilton 🫶

↳lewishamilton 💜

username6 I never thought about Lewis and Zhou being friends, but...?

username7 in moments like this I go look at the old posts where other drivers would flirt with Y/n lmao

username8 This winter break belongs to Lewis

oscarpiastri Lewis' last name suits you

↳landonorris it would've been funny to see Lew change his last name to hers tho lol

carlossainz55 How long have you been together?

↳y/nhamilton Something like 5 years now

carlossainz55 And none of us knew all this time 😳

y/nhamilton Zhou knew... I've just said that

username9 All the other drivers immediately regretting everything they said under other Y/n's posts hahahah

[mv1simp]

I am in ur walls

I have come to raise the idea of, and hear me out, Max x PR officer reader. I’m just gonna yap now, hear me out

Like can you imagine Max going through his hoe phase and reader having to clean up his image, and she’s just fondly like UGH MAX. Part of her is like blehhhhh because more work, but the bigger part of her is like ✨jealous✨

And then at some point she makes an offhand comment like if you want to be a whore, can you at LEAST not make more work for me????

Cue Max and her starting to be a thing, and him trying to rile her up enough to get her to be their own PR issue just for shits and giggles and he gets quite risque and horny and her resistance to it just turns him on even more until he’s saying and doing the filthiest shit in the middle of the paddock just to get her to crack——

Also can you imagine how hilarious it would be if they get caught and GP is like NOT YOU TOO READER LIKE DOES HE HAVE A MAGIC DICK OR SMTH——

WELCOME TO MY WALLS!!! This idea HAS ME ahahahah see I was always a crackfic writer at age 12 on wattpad, its time to remerge into the light with this prompt

Like you know how max is so millennial coded. And she’s actually the same age as him but he thinks she’s older cause she’s always looking so stressed. And she like um that’s cause you’re a fuckin manwhore max?!? Have you thought about celibacy for a hot second? And as they become better friends she demands he hand over his card so she can invest in some good skincare

(max also suggests maybe she needs to get dicked down good, he’s happy to provide that if she wants or? 🤭🤭)

But anyways she’s pumping out Gen z memes left right and centre to distract the masses from his slut era and he’s always like wdym “i have zero rizz and am a bitchless cat dad”?? I know memes?? Remember hawk thua-

ALSO WHENEVER HE REALLY TRIES TO RILE HER UP ON THE PADDOCK AND SHE CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT SHE MAKES HIM DO THE MOST ANNOYING SOCIAL MEDIA CHALLENGES TO GET BACK AT HIM like imagine her making him do a kiss marry kill with the drivers and he’s like 😑😑 and everyone’s like babes come here we got max Verstappen saying he’d kiss Alonso, marry charles and kill George before GTA 2024

ALSO I’m jumping the gun but after he ✨seduces her ✨ there’s so much scope for the classic shenanigans. Accidentally wearing shirts inside out. Accidentally wearing each others Redbull shirt and she could get away with oversized style but everyone’s like “max why tf are u wearing a crop top”. (GP knows. He knows and he can’t look either of you in the eye. Everyone has started asking why he loudly announces himself and waits 10 seconds before walking around the corners of the Redbull garage and he’s like…no reason. But his face is one of a man who has seen many, many things)

Anyway you have ban any contact of sexual nature after that incident that you have dubbed CropTopGate. But obviosuly that just makes max even more feral cause we know how competitive he is 😼

ALSO he’s notorious for going through personal managers as well but once you two start getting tension but you’re still all like “nooo 6 foot driver millionaires aren’t my type okayyyy 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️”

So he demands that you be promoted to his personal events manager as well. To which you are adamantly like NO knowing what this means for your poor self control but Christian Horner is like yes maxie boo 🥰 so now you also accompany max to all his lil modelling gigs, looking anywhere but at him while he stands shirtless next to you with a cocky grin.

OR LIKE IMAGINE HE AND A MODEL ARE DOING AN ADVERTISEMENT TOGETHER LIKE ONE OF THOSE SEXY PERFUME ONES. AND DURING A BREAK THE PHOTOGRAPHER NOTICES YOU AND MAX TALKING TOGETHER

and he’s like i don’t care who you are get over here NOW this sexual chemistry is insane so you end up in a very compromising pose up against max verstappen, F1 driver, cat dad, and certified slut while he’s whispering dirty things in your ear

(He catches on quick that you really likes it when he speaks Dutch, good thing you can’t understand it cause he’s just reciting his grocery list and enjoying watching you blush and squeeze your legs together)

very cute idea hehe thank you for messaging!! I LIVE for some sexual tension, reader is a better woman than me for trying to resist the advances of max 😮‍💨😮‍💨

[imfoive]

Hana! I absolutely love your fake texts, I got curious as to how we bagged skz as our bfs and thought to ask what your take? Continue doing the amazing job that you are!😊

Hi lovely❣️ Thank you, I also love creating them!

(I’ve been holding off on this but now that we have 10 parts to bf!SKZ texts, I could finally answer)

Okay I got a little too excited coming up with my take so now they’re headcannons to bf!SKZ lmao let’s go!

── Channie

I think that we would’ve met as strangers. Like crossed paths through work or at an event hosted by mutual friends. There was attraction and numbers were exchanged no hesitation. That’s the vibes I channel when creating bf!Chan texts, like we’re keeping him on edge with our unhinged behavior (which he totally loves because he’s got seven other crackhead kids and is used to crazy) sometimes he’s as crazy as us if not even crazier. Channie is a planner so best believe we’ve got our own slot in his schedules (cuddle time with us, movie marathon with us) Allows us to tease and bully him so he has an excuse to punish us *cough cough*🫣 In conclusion: Channie loves us cause we’re funny and always have him giggling and giddy like a school-girl agdgsgsgsh

── Lino

Okay so with him, similar to Chan, we would’ve met as strangers but leaning more towards work encounters. But he is ✨shy✨ and we started out as friends. From there, after everyone’s comfortable and more open with one another, we take the next step. A few dates to gauge if there’s anything there (which of course there is if there wasn’t I would’ve cried) Once we’re his it’s over. Unleashed a new side of bf!Minho who loves to tease us. He is a bully(affectionately) but is also very very supportive and protective. Gets really affectionate randomly that we get whiplash and when he’s feeling extra sassy, teasingly refuses to play along with our shenanigans. (Lots of sarcastic remarks with this one) In conclusion: Lino makes fun of us but if someone else does he’ll fight

── Binnie

I see him meeting us through friends, but WE like him first (obviously like look at that man!!) but bf!Changbin is kind to everyone so we don’t think he likes us back. Maybe something happens and he happened to help us and from there we get closer, like we’ve gotten his attention and he is not looking away anytime soon. I feel like once Binnie falls in love he will fall hard, like simp city is his new home kinda hard. Texting us first thing every morning and last every night, calling and video chatting for hours even when neither of us are really talking. Flirting with us like crazy as if we aren’t already his, always making us giggle and flustered. He loves to take us to his favorite places (the gym is unfortunately one of them, but we’re not complaining since we got an amazing view of Binnie lifiting weights👁️🫦👁️) In conclusion: Binnie looooooves us 🥰

── Hyunnie

We were friends first, that’s definitely the story I see when making bf!Hyunjin texts. He understands our personality and we play along with his dramatic outbursts. Because we were friends first, we know each others quirks and interests well and it’s one of the reasons we clicked and saw a future together. He is a hopeless romantic and never gets comfortable in the relationship (planning cute dates like picnics, paint parties) He loves to brag about us to his friends and LOVES matching couple items. Sending the most random things to make each other smile (like pics of a squirrel eating trash or the clouds looking like an object) is something we do alooot. In conclusion: Hyunnie spoils us with spontaneous dates (the banter is crazy with this one)

── Hannie

Okay, one more that we met as strangers. DEFINITELY at work cause I don’t see bf!Han rizzing anyone up at parties or elsewhere. I think we wouldn’t have clicked in the beginning because he was too busy avoiding eye contact (he gets nervous leave him alone!!) but over some time as we ease into conversations we get along well. Mostly because we’re both unhinged and have similar humor. I think lowkey we fall for him first (he gets into a whole different zone when he’s working and that’s hot) but he confesses first. He is actually very attentive after becoming our boyfriend, like he used to avoid eye contact but now he’s shamelessly checking us out. In conclusion: Hannie the rizzler doesn’t waste any opportunity to drop the cringiest lines (but only reserved to his partner🤚)

── Lixie

Long-term friends. He was a bestie before he was the boyfieee (No HE friend-zoned us😔) I feel like bf!Felix is friendly and extremely nice to everyone (similar to Changbin) so he doesn’t realize we were trying to get his attention and wanted to get him to see us in a romantic light, and then somehow we become his best-friend and it’s been like that for a WHILE. But then we decide to try moving on and and he’s like “HOLD ON WAIT UP, Wymm you got a date with ANOTHER MAN???🤨” he realizes real quick that he doesn’t like to share and that we might be more than just a friend. He is warmest partner, like you thought best-friend!Felix was an angel??? Get ready to cry because of how sweet bf!Felix is. (Although he sometimes gets this surge of crackhead energy which keeps us on our toes) In conclusion: Lixie is a sweetheart but gets jealous (and lowkey possessive) really easily. Watching him sulk is our favorite activity (we’re the bullies in this one😌)

── Minnie

I think most of the younger members had to have been friends first before dating. And bf!Seungmin is another one. Like he’s not that bold to bully and taunt a stranger then ask them out (he was raised right 😤) but his friends?? Free real-estate, catching jabs left and right. And that includes us. I think Minnie does it mostly because he knows he likes us romantically and finds our reactions cute. We also put up with him because we’re in love with him. So really just two idiots who like each other but haven’t confessed. Becoming a couple’s a given since we basically act like one and no one’s surprised that he asked us out (in the most romantic way, might I add☝️) and we said yes. In conclusion: Minnie is the Jerry to our Tom except he’s always getting the last laugh (but he’s actually lowkey obsessed with us)

── Innie

Another one that’s been friends first. But long time friends, maybe from like high school or something and have continued the friendship into adulthood. Bf!Jeongin is our ride or die. He’s there for us when we need him and makes fun of us because he can, although he can’t take what he dishes (what a loser) We kissed before we became a thing and from there we just claimed each other so it made sense to become a couple. Though we don’t act like typical couples because everything between us stays basically the same, he’s really down bad and easily caves into anything and everything we want to do (even if he pretends like it’s against his will) We bicker a lot but also make up really quickly. Also he sends 17374 selfies and OOTD pics to us daily our phone might as well be his photo collection album, we complain but obviously we love it (he takes our pics too cause he’s such a photographer but holds them hostage on his phone) In conclusion: Innie might be a little shit but he’s ours and that’s that 😤(also we’re no better)

Not me being delulu because of these lmao

Which bf!SKZ dynamic is your vibe? 🤔

[norris55s]

the feels - oscar piastri

kpop idol reader x oscar piastri social media au

a/n: if anyone has requests lmk! i’d love some inspiration

a/n: it’s a fun concept to think of the most normal guy in the world dating a kpop sensation. let’s ignore that dating is taboo in the kpop world and i fully made up an f1 calendar for this lol. face claim is sana from twice. 🫡 ps. we absolutely love seeing oscar win his first (sprint) race

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oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, mclaren, y/nusername and 405,027 others

oscarpiastri: Japan has been great. (Yes, I had to go to Y/N’s concert.)

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piastrinorris: oscar is a kpop fan? not on my bingo card

y/nmaniac: it’s the Y/N impact 💕not kpop, Y/N

papayaworld: i am genuinely asking, who is Y/N? i don’t know her

sugarrushy/n: she is a japanese kpop idol who is very big, specially recently bc of her viral single OMG. you should listen to it!! she also has other underrated bops

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y/nusername

liked by oscarpiastri, alphataurif1, yukitsunoda0511, and 1,027,399 others

y/nusername: i didn’t know racing cars could be so much fun! thank you wearelenovo for the invitation to the formula 1 lenovo japanese grand prix, and alphataurif1 for receiving me so kindly!! 😺😺😺

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mclaren: You should come around our garage sometime, we know there would be people happy to see you in papaya orange 🧡

81lover: mclaren being oscar’s wingmen, we love to see it

ln4op81: LMAO, feeding on the oscar x y/n hype. in their defense, oscar’s post race interview didn’t help

himboscar: blud literally said “i almost hoped i wasn’t racing so i could go meet her but she saw me on the podium” and hoped we’d just let that go

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mclaren

liked by oscarpiastri, y/nusername, landonorris and 706,829 others

mclaren: We had to re-invite y/nusername to the Monaco Grand Prix for the McLaren experience. We think she’s having a great time and we have great results to show her.🫡🧡

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y/nusername: thank you for having me😽🧡

oscarpiastri: Hype papaya girl 👧

mclarenussy: u got this, rizz her up

therealpiastri: he doesn’t have it don’t lie

y/nheart: honestly it’s pretty cute how he references her songs lol

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y/nusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, somsomi0309, and 1,037,824 others

y/nusername: the ETA world tour is over! 😿💕 i had the most amazing time seeing all bunnies around the world, and experiencing all the new things this beautiful planet has to offer. i’m looking forward to doing it all over again forever!!! i’m so grateful to everyone who made this tour possible, from all the crew, to the stylists, to the dancers, and as always my bunnies. here’s to the future!! 😻💕

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oscarpiastri: 🎊🎊

piastricutie: baby get up

y/nusername: tysm for coming✨😺

landonorris: actually upset i wasn’t invited

y/nusername: next tour for sure 🎟️😼

y/ngirly: she’s snatching mclaren boys like pokemons and we love that for her

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f1waggosip

liked by 104,027

f1waggossip: The streets are saying our Oscar Piastri has actually managed to bag his girl crush, Y/N L/N, and her recent Instagram where she is using the same outfit she was pictured with hugging the Aussie in Italy seems to confirm it. She also posted a story of a beautiful dinner date. We likely will see her in the Monza paddock this weekend, after months of reportedly beginning their relationship long distance due to her tour and Oscar’s races.

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maniacpiastri: holy FUCK

formulay/n: the fact that my worlds collided this hard what the helllllll how did oscar manage to bag that queen

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oscarpiastri

liked by mclaren, y/nusername, landonorris and 803,927 others

oscarpiastri: Pretty sure y/nusername is our lucky charm. Amazing P1 🏆😉

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mclaren: We are willing to add her as a plus one for the rest of the year 🤝

landonorris: be a keeper mate

y/nusername: i think it’s all u ✨✨💕😸

thunderousy/n: THE HARD LAUNCH? THE COMMENTS? THE LUCKY CHARMS? IM COMBUSTING

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y/nusername

liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, hyunah_aa and 1,203,028 others

y/nusername: f1 duties got me in an airport looking like i’m in a second leg of a more tiring tour, while oscar is shining and i’m not the one driving 200mph! 🙀

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oscarpiastri: Sorry, we can’t lose the lucky charm😛

oscarpiastri: Also, you look amazing.

81racing: PLEASEEEE😭

mclaren: It’s the orange hair for us 🧡

y/nusername: temporarily repping for best end of season good vibes 🧡😼

darlingy/n: i love this man, he’s so sweet to her and he makes her so happy

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oscarpiastri:

liked by landonorris, y/nusername, carlossainz55 and 890,024 others

oscarpiastri: Season ended, and P3 in Driver’s Championship isn’t too shabby. I feel like a winner anyway, and my lucky charm will bring us to the next level next year. Thank you mclaren and Papaya Army! 🧡

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y/nusername: great things will always come ur way 🧡🧡✨✨😸😸very proud of u

theoscarpastry: i am so unwell he is saying he won because he got the girl

y/nnation: bunnies love oscar, he’s so ken coded and y/n is the prettiest barbie

landonorris: 👊👊

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f1waggossip

liked by 153,024

f1waggossip: It is now Oscar Piastri’s turn to be a lucky charm, as he is seen attending the Mnet Asian Music Awards with Y/N, who is nominated for several categories tonight. We wish her the best!

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y/nloverboy: he looks so happy to be her accessory for the night, we love it for her

oscarbabes: ken loves barbie

y/ngoddess: i am still astonished at how oscar even got y/n to take a second look at him but the superstar and chillest person alive combo is giving

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oscarpiastri

liked by y/nusername, landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 802,692 others

oscarpiastri: I love being the trophy boyfriend for the MAMAs’ Artist of the Year.👩‍❤️‍👨 Always proud of you, and always a pleasure to see you perform.😄

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y/nusername: ur too sweeeet my baby 😿😿😽😽💕💕

y/nsbff: “my baby” sleeping on the highway 2nite

oscarwildflower: “trophy boyfriend” bathing with a toaster!!!

allmylovey/n: the most unlikely of relationships is giving everything that needs to be given

[0omillo0]

Dude hear me out: han and 9th member reader doing the teen vogue compliment battle and reader is trying to bring the ✨rizz✨ while han keeps doing the goofy voice with

HAN X READER

VOGUE COMPLIMENT BATTLE

a/n: I really liked this idea I hope this is what you wanted <3

ᡣ𐭩 ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

Setting: Stray Kids and Y/N are invited by Vogue for their “Compliment Battle” series. The challenge is to take turns reading fan comments in the most dramatic way possible. The catch? You can’t laugh. Whoever stays serious the longest wins the round.

The crew is gathered on set, with everyone seated in pairs. Y/N is up first, facing off against Felix, while Han watches from the sidelines.

Vogue Producer: “Alright, for the first round, we have Felix and Y/N. Let’s see who can keep it together!”

Felix (giving a warm smile): “I’m ready to win this!”

Y/N (laughing): “Don’t get too confident, Lix.”

They both sit across from each other, and the producer hands them some tweets to read.

Felix (reading dramatically): “Y/N, your smile is brighter than the sun, and your laugh is the cure to all my bad days. Marry me, please.”

Y/N giggles but tries to maintain composure.

Felix: He leans in, grinning, and takes Y/N’s hands dramatically. “Did you hear that? They need you. You’ve cured them. You’ve healed their soul.”

Y/N (struggling not to smile): “Felix, stop. You’re making it worse.”

Han watches from the sidelines, eyebrows furrowing as Felix holds Y/N’s hands. He crosses his arms, leaning back in his chair with a small pout.

Han (muttering): “Why’s he gotta hold her hands like that…”

Lee Know (noticing Han’s expression): “Are you jealous already? It’s the first round.”

Han (quickly): “No. Just… competitive, you know?”

Vogue Producer: “Alright, Y/N’s turn.”

Y/N (grinning as she reads): “Felix, your freckles are a constellation that guides me through my darkest nights. How can one person be this ethereal?”

Felix smiles wide, clearly flattered, but he’s trying hard not to crack.

Felix (fanning himself): “Stop, I’m blushing.”

Y/N dramatically reaches out to lightly cup Felix’s cheek.

Y/N (whispering, trying to flirt): “Don’t blush too much, angel. We need your beauty to stay intact.”

Felix starts laughing, breaking the game, and the producer calls the round. Y/N wins, but all eyes are on Han, who is visibly not amused by Felix and Y/N’s playful flirting.

Han (quietly to himself): “Seriously, with the cheek touch? I could’ve done better…”

Vogue Producer: “Next up, Y/N versus Han. This should be fun!”

Han straightens up, determined to be goofy and break Y/N’s composure. They take their seats, facing each other.

Y/N (smiling): “Ready to lose, Han?”

Han (grinning mischievously): “I don’t think so. I’ve got a secret weapon—my charm.”

Y/N (smirking): “Is that what you’re calling it these days?”

Han (reading in an exaggerated, goofy voice): “Y/N, your beauty transcends time and space. Every time you walk into a room, it feels like all of my troubles melt away… like butter on hot toast.”

He makes a dramatic “melting” gesture with his hands.

Y/N (already stifling a laugh): “Not the toast metaphor, Han.”

Han (deepening his voice comically): “But it’s true! You’re the butter to my toast, the ketchup to my fries.”

The whole room laughs, and Y/N has to bite her lip not to crack.

Y/N’s turn. She leans forward, eyes locking with Han’s, and lowers her voice into a flirtatious tone.

Y/N (softly): “Han… every time you laugh, it’s like music to my ears. Your smile? It lights up my world. And honestly? I think about it all the time.”

The room goes quiet, expecting Han to start goofing off, but he’s suddenly caught off guard. He blinks, clearly taken aback. Thinking maybe it’s not a fan who wrote it.

Y/N (leaning in even more): “You make everything better just by being there. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Han doesn’t laugh. Instead, he looks genuinely surprised, his playful smile faltering. The atmosphere shifts slightly, and Y/N, realizing she might’ve sounded too serious, quickly pulls back with a teasing grin.

Y/N (laughing): “Come on, don’t tell me you’re giving up already.”

Han (flustered, trying to recover): “I—uh, no! No, I’m just… I didn’t expect that. You’re really trying to win, huh?”

The producer calls time, ending the round. Y/N wins again, but Han is left quietly staring at her, clearly still thinking about her words.

After the challenge, backstage.

Han is pacing around, clearly conflicted. He approaches Y/N as she’s grabbing water, the others busy with interviews.

Han (hesitant): “Hey, uh, Y/N.”

Y/N (turning around, smiling): “Yeah? What’s up?”

Han (awkwardly scratching the back of his neck): “So… about what you said. During the challenge. Were you, uh, were you just messing with me, or…?”

Y/N pauses, sensing his nervousness, and a soft smile tugs at her lips.

Y/N (teasing): “Which part? The part where I said you light up my world, or that I think about you all the time?”

Han (flustered): “Both. I mean… you don’t actually think about me all the time, do you?”

Y/N takes a step closer, their eyes meeting. She lowers her voice, her playful tone softening.

Y/N: “Maybe I do.”

Han’s eyes widen slightly, his heart skipping a beat.

Han: “Wait, really? You mean that?”

Y/N (grinning): “Why do you sound so surprised?”

Han stares at her for a moment, realizing she’s serious. He chuckles softly, his usual goofiness replaced with a warm smile.

Han (quietly): “Well, maybe I think about you a lot too. Just… didn’t know how to say it.”

Y/N’s teasing expression softens as she steps even closer.

Y/N: “Guess we’re both bad at saying things, huh?”

Han lets out a small laugh, feeling the tension ease between them. But there’s something different now—an unspoken understanding.

Han: “I guess so. But you know what? I’m glad you said it.”

They share a quiet moment, the game long forgotten. In the background, they can hear the others laughing and talking, but for now, it’s just the two of them.

Y/N (smirking again, breaking the moment): “Does this mean I officially won the challenge, by the way?”

Han (laughing): “Oh, don’t get ahead of yourself. I’ll get you back next time. Maybe with more toast metaphors.”

Y/N: “Bring it on, butter-boy.”

[vtoriacore]

Yo! It's me! I was wondering if I could request Ruggie, Idia, Riddle, and Malleus with a significant other who fights people for just breathing in their direction. Like Crowley opens his mouth and their already like "SHUT UP!" And throws chairs at people. I think the comedic potential for this is exponential

✧ alla stocatta (this chair)!

note: this is such a funny fucking concept LMFAO😭 gremlin MC agenda has gotta be my fucking fave they have the power to be so unhinged and i live for it also not proofread because it's low-key 12 am BUT. it's readable so-

characters: ruggie, idia, riddle, malleus

people who reblogged here is a special heart and a kith y'all do the most and ily 💞

♡ RUGGIE

ruggie finds it both amusing and kind of intimidating (and kinda hot but he'll die before he admits this yk) how you literally defend his honour (even when it doesn't necessarily need to be defended) but is he complaining? fuck no! 

half the time he is laughing and the other half is him cheering you on and maybe even encouraging you to do something just a little overboard (nothing that will get you into trouble, and if it does he's usually happy to take the blame) 

the first time he witnessed you literally throwing your broom at leona in joint flight class because he wouldn't stop bitching to ruggie was just about the most hilarious fucking thing he's ever seen and oh- there he goes falling off because he couldn't stop laughing (he stops when you catch him and ask if he's okay though - this mf may think he's slick but is literally reduced to a blubbering mess once he finds himself in a position considered a little too intimate with you) 

the second time he saw you trip someone up because they looked at him wrong, and your silly, sly self simply gave them the most unimpressed look you could muster with a "watch where you're going" 

the hyena was too stunned to speak 😮 no but seriously he found that both hilarious (as always) and admirable because holy shit, you did it so nonchalantly and it looked so fucking cool- he questions how he was even able to pull you (dw ruggie, you've got rizz!) 

he absolutely loves when you stand up for him for more serious stuff though, like if someone's insulting him for his status or for having to work etc. because your no-bullshit attitude actually works so well? you just casually throw a chair at the mf even daring to look at him and his heart goes ✨✨✨ all the while he's laughing and cheering you on from the sidelines. 

.

♡ IDIA

at first, idia is fucking terrified! bro is borderline crashing because how the fuck did you have the strength to haul that heavy ass cauldron at the person making a snide remark about him? he was going to say he's NEVER coming to class again but after this, he changes his mind so quick

like, you looked so badass doing that? the savannaclaw loser who tried insulting him barely got two words out and you just- oh wow! he just got the "in love" status applied to him again! 

nah but fr he is literally fucking grinning as he stares at the poor, poor fool laying on the ground and is so fucking smug about it too! 

"that was an ez no scope, didn't even have to be 360 lol'

"idia ily but what"

"it's a roundabout way of saying this bozo stood no chance, you pulled up on him too quick lmao"

at first, he is a bit concerned that you might end up in trouble with someone for doing all this but . . . yk, his money speaks for itself and if something does ever happen covering up wouldn't be too hard so he lets you do as you please

this hades-rapunzel secret love child thinks its low-key hot too, but he'll never admit it and he literally turns bright fucking pink anytime he even thinks this. you tried prying the answer out before, but he pulled out his secret trump card - fainting on you so he wouldn't have to say a thing

idia is another mf to absolutely egg you on as you cause some more chaos, it's getting to the point ortho had to warn you of nearly breaking someone's arm before you stopped. idia was just standing there, the most villainous, evil grin to have ever graced his face; "no, no! let them cook!"

.

♡ RIDDLE

riddle. fucking. FAINTS! 

he was NOT ready for that strawberry tart to end up lodged down someone's throat as you victoriously shrugged your shoulders with a "what? they had it coming."

"oh great heavens what have you- where is the decorum? what could have possibly compelled you to-" aaaaaaaand man's down!

when he awakes, he's frantically shaking your shoulders and asking why you would even think that nearly suffocating someone (not really, you pushed the tart far enough they could swallow) was appropriate 

but let me tell you, when he hears it was because they've insulted him and brought his mother into it, he low-key feels light headed and oh wow his cheeks are getting pretty warm huh? 

riddle, in his own spiteful way, actually doesn't probe you on this any longer and makes you promise that you won't do this in his vicinity again

you of course, nod along. you won't do it in his vicinity, but will be perfectly fine exacting your revenge straight after he's out of sight

when you actually end up having a . . . a chair duel. yes, he read that right. (he wasn't about to even question how that came about but nontheless) he ends up both impressed at you exploiting a loophole you've found within his statement and at the fact the person you've just beaten (both literally and figuratively) is miserably sitting on the floor apologising for giving riddle the wrong look at 12:34 AM on the 3rd of march. very specific 

riddle doesn't even chastise you for this one, he is exasperated but does actually pull you away from the scene and thanks you for defending him. this time, he makes you promise to resolve your fights for him verbally, but he won't be stopping you from this point on (it's because he doesn't want to and enjoys you standing up for him)

.

♡ MALLEUS

the student walking away from malleus makes him feel a bit bad. so naturally, to remedy this, you end up shouting at them! now they're backing away from you instead, isn't this the meaning of true love? (no)

this silly little very capable of looking after himself fae is fucking over the moon! absolutely smitten! completely in love! when you come to defend him and angrily shout at people for not treating him like a being worthy of respect and love.

he low-key debates proposing to you on the spot after you also somehow manage to get a student to apologize to him for fearing him for no good reason! he appreciates the sentiment and you caring for his well being, isn't that basically marriage already? no? he'd like to digress immediately

malleus does get a bit concerned when things get physical, not that he doesn't trust you to take care of yourself or anything but he worries that you might end up hurt. oh, did you think he'd care for the person you're fighting? or you getting in trouble? nah, he could literally BBQ anyone who even dared harm you anyway and if crowley even thought to step in, he'd soon be reconsidering because he doesn't want to end up an elaborate crow dish

however, on the occasion that you do outsmart your opponent (aka the savannaclaw student who just rolled his eyes at the dragon fae) he feels hella proud and is very amused at your antics. i mean, the way you just psychologically destroyed the fool in front of you for their comment on malleus not even being that good at magift is very sure to leave them questioning why they even bothered coming  out the womb for the rest of their life. 

he is another one that finds it low-key 😳😳😳 like damn, did you always look this badass when flipping someone off for even breathing wrong near him? sane thoughts just weren't made for malleus

[on-tracks-and-playlists]

Seventeen as F1 drivers I grew up watching….

S.coups. Max verstappen

There's just something about S.coups' and Max's aura that gives ✨MAJESTIC✨. I have NEVER seen a bigger pet dad than these two. You know how Max broke the wooden door of his storeroom because his cat was stuck inside and he couldn't open it from outside, I bet Seungcheol will pull some similar kind of shit if it's for Kumma. One thing that just makes sense about both of them- GIRL DAD- we already have a glimpse of girl-dad Max when he takes care of Penelope but I love how Caratland has collectively announced that Seungcheol IS A GIRL DAD. Both of them have their own principles but will not follow the instructions given if anything crosses them. They are both the type you would benefit from not having a beef with, 'cause they are difficult to handle when triggered. I don't know why the internet just keeps on bashing Seungcheol and Max as the scariest and most emotionally unavailable person, when they are the pookiest bears u will ever meet- like how Max reassured Lando that he is capable of bigger things everytime Lando doubts himself and how Seungcheol always guides his members through the tough times seventeen has had. They care and sympathise for those they cherish.

Jeonghan. Nico Rosberg

Britanny Spear. Goldilocks. Rapunzel… Whoever is known for their luscious golden locks… Add these two to the list. One tributing to seventeen other to formula one. The funny thing is, despite the fans absolutely adoring the look on Jeonghan, he doesn't like having long hair because of how high maintenance it is and it troubles while performing… just the same way Nico doesn't appreciate being called Britney because, well it's self-explanatory ig. Being the leader of the tiredz line I think Jeonghan always searches for the easiest and fastest way to get the job done… And once done he will not waste a second to go back home. This behavior of Jeonghan is giving the same energy as how Nico won his first (and only) drivers' championship, got his name written in the history of world champions, and retired...for the comfort of his family. Always stirring drama, we all know how Jeonghan is famous for creating chaos and drama within seventeen, and ever since Nico became an f1 reporter (or commentator idk the word for it) I think he's been doing the same, stirring drama.... interviewing Lewis in Spain the very circuit the famous brocedes crashed will forever be gold to me... him taking selfie in front of Lewis' garage to give him the "Rosberg curse"... Yeah I miss both my blonde icons 😭😭

Joshua Sebastian Vettel

40% Kind, 30% flirt, 80%patience, 50%Maniac... (they are both twice the man anyone can ever be) Joshua and Sebastian are both the definition of kids well raised… The gentlemen of the group always take care of others. Making sure everyone is comfortable and comforted, they will make sure the grid and members are well fed. The gentlemen who protects the ladies and ends up rizzing them. The gentlemen who acts innocent knowing very well they have the rizz to charm the person in front, and have succeeded in doing so. Istg both of them are such big flirts…. if they are not being straight while flirting they are being gay and flirting with men. Both of them give the energy of cool uncles you would love to spend your summer break with… but your parents are kinda scared to leave you with them; not because they don't trust Josh and Sebastian but because of all the shenanigans that will go down while you are together. Well most accurate of it all is the crazy chaotic side they share, and I know I don't need to explain this to yall… My baby boos no body hurt them istg I WILL throw hands…. They are both very dear to me. Everyone is a Seb Vettel fan, even if you think you are not, you are a Seb Vettel fan. and I think the same for our gentle sexy Josh, you just can't come close to disliking him let alone hate... and if you do, you should cease to exist.

Jun. Alex Albon

Georgie Pooh's best friend. They are both goofballs that everyone absolutely adores. You trouble them and their bf (George and Minghao) are ready to wrestle you down. Have the most innocent face and smile in the group, but don't be fooled by the looks they are both just hidden menaces in disguise sometimes. The most random person you would ever come to know... people might argue that Hoshi and Lando are much more random... and I agree, yes they are, but it's how we expect them to be random that makes it less random almost as if we are anticipating that from Lando and Hoshi but with Jun and Alex it nearly fun cause we DO NOT expect that. WE DO NOT expect a 26-year-old Jun to just randomly come over and start mimicking an old lady in the middle of someone else's conversation. WE DO NOT EXPECT 27-year-old Alex to (try to) make the hardest track and just end up drawing a snail on the paper AND name the track RAIL THE SNAIL. It's just this randomness that makes them funny for me. Physically I don't think either of them can hurt a fly, but mentally, oh boy they will leave a scar on you by their sarcastic choice of words. All in all, you just can't NOT LIKE either of them.

Hoshi. Lando Norris

Literal ChAOs of the pack. Hoshi comes with a 'HANDLE WITH CARE' label on himself, just like Lando. You never know when their hyperactive mode will turn on. They need a lot of love and care to function properly. GIVE! THEM! ATTENTION! IT DOESN'T MATTER IF U ARE OLDER THAN THEM OR NOT. As I mentioned above RANDOM AS HELL. If it feels right they will say and do THE MOST RANDOM stuff, completely out of context…(que to Lando randomly blurting ✨B U N D A✨ in that one interview). Do you remember that one interview where Hoshi says 'I buy all, I eat all and then I regret all' THAT IS LANDO. I feel like they are both the type to not listen to you while you are instructing them to not do something hazardous, and then blame you for not stopping or warning them after the deed's done. If F1 had its own BSS...lando would definately be a part of it. On the contrary to this, their professional selves are very competitive and intimidating. Both Lando and Hoshi are very result oriented and mostly tend to be a little tough on themselves, and resultingly also towards people around them.

Wonwoo. Oscar piastri

We have two calm cuties in the building here, both of them radiating cat energy. They will very diligently serve the polite cat face. Lowkey hilarious. Both of them have such a dry sense of humor it is exactly my type. They have a very high intellect and definitely a big thesaurus. Oscar is always out there helping Lando's dyslexic ass figure out words he cant pronounce or spell and then we have Kim Mingyu, mentioning in that going seventeen episode of insomnia, that Wonwoo uses smartass words. In my eyes, it's the introvert in them, that finds it difficult to be able to express themselves. But once with the correct person/ people, oh boy there's no stopping them. Wonwoo and Oscar both have a very mysterious vibe to them which is... well very attractive. AND I cant exaggerate enough how cute they both are.

Woozi. Lewis Hamilton

The GREATEST OF ALL TIMES. There's a reason why we call Woozi the god of music, and that's because of his unbeatable records and talents in his career, just like Sir Hamilton. They both started young and are here to stay long and honestly, they achieved the point at where they will stay forever in the names of K-pop and F1. They both have a very dedicated and fun approach towards their carrer. One thing I can not exaggerate enough is how both Woozi and Lewis laugh gives me comfort. It's just how freely they laugh out loud, full HAHAHA, is special to me. Both of them are very well secure in themselves and know the impact they have. I love my short kings.

The8. George Russell

As I said above… Alobono's bestie. Material gworl. THE MEME. Both of them are crazy. 🤩CRAZY🤪. Personally, they both seem to be the types to judge their peers, for quite a long time… And then join the shenanigans… Although they act questionable too they just brush it off (or at least try to) by being cool. They are ✨SASSY✨ and that's a F A C T. It's beautiful how they always keep their fans in mind and have the most adorable and iconic moments with them. Like George's interaction with the little Singapore fan wearing the George T-pose shirt and this interaction in Singapore again and we can not forget that fan call with Myungho where the carat showed him a gaint frog and he just was surprised, shocked and trying not to laugh. Both of them have a beautiful taste in fashion. Old Money. Georg as your Old Money CEO vibes and the8 as your Old Money Mafia vibe(your view might be different idk). Their face economy is high on the scale. Literal definition of angel face demonic acts. George is our "chiseled angel" and Myungho is our "Chinese prince".

Mingyu. Oliver Bearman

Big baby trapped in an even bigger body. We all know that Mingyu is famous for being a muscular beanpole, but Ollie is also a handsome lampost, like 185 cm for the driver, no jokes. If golden retriever was a person it would be them, both of them hold their hearts on the sleeves. Very, and I say, very optimistic with their surroundings. They have a very play full personality, which I am hoping to see more from Oliver in Haas. Collecting fans left and right, everywhere they go. Mingyu absolutely basks in the fame and love his fans shower and I can see Oliver absorbing the adoration he receives, not just from his grid parents but from the whole F1 community. They are beautifully loved and it just shows in how well they treat their fans and people around them. I love the family dynamics in the Kim family and the Bearman family. There is love, comfort, mischief and a lot of support for their son's career. Highlight of it all would be Ollie's dad worried over his 18-year-old son's debut f1 race. They have both the best performance duality, one second u will see Mingoo and Ollie, and the moment you blink, boom, Kim Mingyu slaying the stage and Oliver Bearman showing no mercy in the race.

Dk. Daniel Riccardo

Big eyes, big nose, big smile, big personality. Danny will deffo be pt. 2 of BSS. These two are everybody's fantasy man. Honestly (pls don't come at me for saying this) I am neither a DK bias nor is Danielle my fav driver, but, they just have the kind of personality that draws you in and makes you want to know more about them. And then you fall in love with them and there's no undo for both of them once you fall. Always loud. Fucking loud. Everything they do is LOUD. But they are never loud alone, they always have a companion in their shenanigans. The sunshine. The happy virus. The energy boost of the group. But they come with their own hardships which usually go unnoticed. Even with the insane vocals DK usually struggles while recording and starts questioning his choice of career (ngl I kinda find it funny sometimes, not like I am laughing tho, it must be difficult for them), and well Danny has had a fare share in difficult times with his career. It's crazy how a lot of people just forget that they are insanely handsome just because they are super goofy. I think it for the better to stay this way cause if the people were to find their beauty, it would be the end of the world.

Seungkwan. Carlos Sainz Jr

For sure BSS part 3 will be Carlos. Social butterfly, is literally besties with everyone, everywhere. What makes it better is that Seungkwan and Carlos both, just adapt to the people around them, never letting them feel alone and always having a welcoming smile… we can't forget how Papa Sainz adopts the drivers just like Seungkwan adopting younger idols. ends up resorting to violence if things don't go their way, i.e. Seungkwan's famous flying kick sent Hoshi's way and Carlos pushing Charles and Lando off the chair every time during the team challenges. You can catch them anywhere, one moment you will see Carlos racing and you open Twitter to find him giving the trophies to Moto GP winners with his father, the same as SeungKwan is on every show you can think of co-hosting, as a mentor or just for promotion. If elegance met chaos it would be Carlos and Seungkwan. they are both very well celebrated and idolised in their domain; both well celebrated in Spain and Jeju respectively.

Vernon. Fernando Alonso

What I think is fascinatingly alike in both of them is that neither act their age. They are mentally in their preeteen(probably younger for vernon, coz he a baby) and it is very visible in how seventeen treats and Pampers Vernon and Alonso's little banters on the team radio (which I absolutely love btw). Hopefully both of them remain youthful forever. No thoughts head empty just thinking about vernon in going seventeen episodes and aonso in post race interviews. How they keep their faces straight most of the time while doing the randomest thingsHalf of the time they are just wondering wtf is wrong with the team and the other time they are confused why they even get involved in the weird team antics, ALL THE WHILE FULLY BEING PRESENT IN THE TEAM DRAMA. DW they love their team, ig. Alonso's little dancey dance celebration for race wins when he was with Renault reminds me of Vernon's clap freestyle dance breaks during concerts, totally random but completely their style. Vernon did a lot of side quests before becoming seventeen just like alonso when he took a break from F1 by joining rally…. And let's not forget they will both be amazing Gen z social media influencers.

Dino. Franco Colapinto

When I see these two I see youth and talent… One is the future of K-pop and the other one, I can definitely see being the future of Formula One… it's been only a few races Franco has been on the grid and I can see him being very dedicated towards his team and his performance. The slightest mistake and he will be pushing himself through for not being better, unsatisfied with his output. Exactly how Dino pushes himself to the limits and beyond, he would do anything to keep his team in the best spirits. It breaks my heart to see them being upset OR unsatisfied with the performance when they couldn't have served better. Both my youngsters have a very sassy humor. Dino has opted to this as a coping mechanism towards his 12 hyungs, well franco I find really funny during post race interviews like this interview where he called the alpines 'FRENCHS' cause he was salty they stole his well deserved fasted lap. ✨PURE GOLD✨. I am always looking forward to them serving on stage and on track, they never disappoint fr.

SPECIAL MENTION (I was just lowkey conflicted while choosing the matches for members and I feel like I need to mention these two because they are equally accurate i feel) KIM MINGYU AS CHARLES LECLERC

THE person everyone wants...Golden Boy who is loved by everyone... literally everyone's fav, and also the person with the weirdest luck... a tad bit too optimistic with their surroundings I feel... debuted with insane talent but got famous for their insane visuals first, talent second. another hyperactive personality duo of svt and f1.

WOOZI AS YUKI TSUNODA

Pocket sized. Little fierce devil in the guise of a cute hamster. They are known for their sharp use of vocabulary ones during lyrics writing and others on the radio. there's this little mischievous kid in them that always stays well kept but manages to pop out eventually. has that one most famous ship (yukierre and soonhoon).

a/n: I swear to God it has been in my drafts for a painfully long time. I tried to keep it as close to their personalities as I could find. I hope you guys enjoyed it any asks or recommendations are open <(●'◡'●)

tag list(open) @ssentimentals @magical-oppas

[headingalaxys-spicy]

Thinking of Ludwig slowly becoming a yandere after being in a relationship with his s/o for years and s/o just accepts it because they love him so much. They take every punishment he gives, and feel torn between wanting to escape but they love him too much to leave. They’re timid around him and he takes advantage of that, teasing them for his own pleasure- that’s what I’m thinking about 😅

Hello there you beautiful human. Thanks for waiting in purgatory for your ask to be answered. I hope it satisfies you ✨

Gonna put the warning here : Totally touches on things like toxic relationships that are abusive so if that’s triggering for you then yeaaaah skip this one.

How you first encountered Ludwig: 

You were having a blast at a small German town's annual summer festival. You’d gotten separated from your friend group as you spotted some fancy Deutsch wine crafted by a family doing it for over 200 years. You hadn’t realized that you were pretty drunk when you’d bumped into the German General & spilled your cherry red wine all over him as you took a tumble to the ground. 

“Oh Sheibe! Es tut mir leid! Ich kann diesen Kleidung sauber helfen.” Panicked, you pulled out many napkins and water bottles to assist him with removing the stain. Ludwig may have been annoyed but became relaxed & spellbound by your beautiful face, perfectly framed by your freshly trimmed hair. 

‘Humph. Well, at least they’re remorseful.’ 

“Es ist okay. I have dry cleaners I can drop this uniform off at and more to wear, but…” Ludwig reached into his back pocket to pull out his business card. 

“If you’re around in Berlin & want to get the best Wurst in all of Germany, call or text me. Ciao” 

[He learned his rizz from Italy.] 

The first date was a smooth yet fantastical affair. The two of you dawdled through the sprawling city of Berlin. From the Brandenburg gate to the TV tower, & down to the River Spree. You got to be fully immersed in the capital city of Deutschland by none other than its resolute representative, Ludwig Belischmidt. 

You were dazzled by all the history he knew of, down to tiny details you knew couldn’t be found in a surface-level history textbook. Your admiration of him, combined with your cute face & intellect, make it much easier for Ludwig to catch feelings. 

As the two of you moved past the honeymoon phase and into the waves of a long-term relationship, you began to notice subtle changes in Ludwig. 

He wouldn’t complement or encourage you as much. Instead, his adoration would be criticism or telling you whatever you accomplished wasn’t good enough / didn’t meet his skyscraper-high standards. This breaks down your self-esteem, so you’ll doubt yourself more. Ludwig will want you always to be pining for his approval. 

When you do something that significantly displeases him, he will have you do something that will physically break you down. Ludwig is like a loving but stringent drill sergeant. Here is a short list of things you’ll have to do in order to get back into his good graces: 

50 Push-Ups 

100 Jumping Jacks 

Hold the ‘T’ pose for 30 minutes to an hour 

Planks 

5 to 15-mile runs (depending on how Sadistic he’s feeling, if someone tried to get close to you, and your level of non-compliance will depend on how long you’ll have to run for) 

These are all things that will exhaust you and prevent you from wanting to talk back, argue with him, etc. This rigorous training also mitigates 80%-85% of your free time to socialize with others. 

Ludwig does his best to avoid putting his hands on you because you’re a human. You’re incredibly fragile. You weren’t meant to withstand him at his maximum strength. However, when you cross him, he has a leather belt to put you back in your place. For the most part, it's not something he takes great pride in, but he needs to keep you under control. He’s realized over the years that once you’ve become emotionally attached to him, he could get away with more & more problematic behavior. All he had to do was hit you with the line: “Es tut mir leid, Liebling. I had to. It was for your own good. I’ll make it up to you.” Ludwig will give you a chastised kiss on the forehead. This gesture never failed to make you turn bright red and send butterflies pouring through your guts. Your heart would sprint due to feeling the adrenaline that comes from being in love. However, your nerves would be feeling a dry stick rubbing against them gaining friction that produced a thick smoke. 

Your typical response to his apology would be followed up by a brief: 

“Kein problem. I forgive you, Ludwig.” 

Even though Ludwigs' smile touched your skin like an early morning Fall sunray heating up your chilly skin, the glaring truth about him and his progressively toxic tendencies became far more difficult to ignore as time continued. 

You evaded his gaze this time when you accepted his apology. You wondered how many times he’s said that to you now. 

‘But all relationships are like this. I shouldn’t have upset him in the first place.’ This was one of the many rationalizations that you told yourself. 

You often wondered how many more times you’d hear him say “sorry” when you cried out for him to “stop” or say “Ludwig, please! It was just a mistake!!!” As more lashes came swinging through the air & made the all too familiar crack against your soft skin. It never failed to vivid crimson 4-inch whiplash there. 

‘Is my relationship with Ludwig actually normal, though?’ Came the uncomfortable question that came to your mind every now & again. It normally materialized after you’d faced another grueling punishment of military-style exercise, a lashing, being denied access to friends, fun, and family, a disagreement, etc. You longed not to have to walk in a minefield of broken glass, eggshells, & razors when navigating conversations with him. 

“Y/N?” Ludwig says sternly with a touch of concern. Your lack of eye contact with him when accepting his apology was a subtle signal to him that he had to go all out when he planned your latest couples' make-up trip. It had to be something spectacular. 

“Yes?” You say in an exhausted tone that was weighed down by the conflict between your heart and your head. You continued to stare at the concrete of the garage. 

“Where do you want to go for dinner?” 

Ludwig would ignore your gradually growing frigid demeanor since you’d been together for such a long time. 

‘It’s just a rough patch. They’ll get over their hesitations soon enough. A well-planned and thought-out day always wins Y/N back.’ 

This is what Ludwig tells himself in order to keep up the delusion that he’s doing nothing wrong and that your relationship is normal. It’s always been this way. 

Why would it be any different now? 

A vacation was the only thing Ludwig needed to get the two of you back on track. 

Usually, Ludwig relished in silence, but not when you refrained to talking to him at all. You would at least give a few compliments about something or try to start a conversation. Only having spoken the basic pleasantries of “Guten Morgen” or “Guten Nacht” with no attempt at speaking more did make him feel uneasy. But not enough to make him rethink where he was going next. 

“Y/N, while planning our trip, I thought we could do something far more exciting.” You stopped staring at your food to move your eyes up to meet his. “We’re going to climb up Watzmann.” Ludwig knew damn well you hated heights. 

“And …..why, for the love of God, would you think I’d enjoy that?” Not being able to hold back your disbelief and irritation. 

“Well, all that training you’ve done. It’s time to test your mettle Y/N! You can’t let all of my hard work go to waste!” Utterly oblivious to the fuse he’s just ignited. 

The tense and uncomfortable silence choked any peace out of the atmosphere. It stayed that way for 90 seconds as the sparks set off the bomb. Its flames made its way through your veins. 

This was not what real love looked like. You pushed your plate away & slammed your fork and knife onto it. Your reaction hit Ludwig like a lightning bolt. 

“I'm seriously done with you, Ludwig!” 

With that, you went back to your hotel room in a huff. Some people stared silently at Ludwig, and others watched you march away. 

You never turned back. 

[luvistqrzzz]

THE ACCIDENTAL POLAROID- a heeseung smau

we took a polaroid

capture the look in your eyes

PAIRINGS- heeseung x f.reader (slight sunghoon x f.reader)

SUMMARY- Lee Heeseung doesn't believe in love at first sight but what happens when he accidentally clicks a polaroid of a girl at the local diner? A girl he can't seem to get out of his mind.

Will he be able to return you the polaroid or will love follow him along the way?

GENRE- smau with written parts, college!au, strangers to lovers, fluff, crack, angst (veryyy slight), slight love triangle

FEATURING- 02z + sunoo from enhypen, yunjin and chaewon from le sserafim, beomgyu and hueningkai from txt and yujin from ive

WARNINGS- profanity, more tba in the respective chapters

TAGLIST- closed - @yenqa @xuimhao @ddazed-lhs @astrae4 @ghostiiess @seungminstaehyun @haechansbbg @chaechae-23 @ak-aaa-li @whippedforbeomgyu @ahnneyong @ineedaherosavemeenow @jhopesucker @j-wyoung @tnyhees @liliansun @rikizm @jadeluvsenha

STATUS- completed

UPDATE SCHEDULE- whenever i can tbh </3

STARTED- 25/04/2023

ENDED- 08/06/2023

NOTE- this is purely a work of fiction and it in no means represents the idol irl. also the pictures of yn are for reference purpose only. I have no intention of copying anyone, i really apologize beforehand if the idea or plot coincides with some other smau.

A/N- this is inspired by Jonas Blue's song Polaroid (check it out asap its a bop!!) ik ik i have another smau to update but i posted this one on impulse lolol... hopefully will begin with it soon <3! omg its already midnight here i think i really need to sleep lmfao😭😭

MOODBOARD | PLAYLIST

PROFILES- singlez+betrayer// young dumb stupid

CHAPTERS-

001- reason for my poverty

002- and i oop- (partly written::: 0.3K)

003- yunjin got brains

004- "responsible good friend" with a plot twist

005- Mr.H

006- plan failed? 100%

007- running late is not fun (partly written::: 0.2K)

008- simpsons minus the "son"

009- de-rizz someone with 0 rizz??

010- chaewon gets a happy meal (and third wheels)

011- HALF ver. - umbrella crisis

╰┈➤FULL ver.- weird feelings (partly written::: 0.2K)

012- ✨jEaLoUsY✨

013- 1/i■€h33$€♡&¿

014- Make dem moves

015- liquid courage gone wrong (written::: 0.5K)

016- smiley faced emoji

017- on read

018- FML

019- man w a mission

020- Love, Y/N ( written::: 0.47K )

021- it's like a polaroid love- FINALE- ( written::: 0.5K )

it's only a matter of time

before it starts fadin'

Enjoyed The Accidental Polaroid? Check out another smau L♡VE THEORY set in the same universe, starring Jake ^^!!

work belongs to @/luvistqrzzz do not repost, copy or translate my work.

reblogs are appreciated

[chycoin]

HUGE SPOILER AHEAD!!!

Watch “TRASH FRIENDS” before reading. If you haven’t watched it and still read this, pls don’t say I didn’t warn you 🫠👍

Just watched “TRASH FRIENDS” and the thumbnail really made me think this was going to be an episode focusing on the way Mario has been treated by Smg4 and his friends (at least that’s how I see it) but I wasn’t expecting an episode about Smg3’s insecurities and fears (mostly insecurities)

I really was caught lacking because I was expecting something and I got the opposite lmao. I should be familiar with this guy’s content already and know that the only thing expected from these episodes is the unexpected xD, but anyways back to talking about the video.

In previous episodes we see that he gets a little bit of customers such as in the episode “You used to be cool” and “CEO OF RIZZ” but in this last mentioned episode he tries to advertise his café after Boopkins’s date works out in the end and so does the same in “SMG4’s NEWS.”

At first you think “Maybe he wants more than what he has” but after watching this episode you realize he’s actually struggling with his business and last weeks episode you change your view from his actions and see him as more desperate rather than greedy after watching this latest ep.

Constantly trying to get more people into his café and taking every single chance he can see to advertise no matter the place or time, like life depends on it.

And talking about chances ._.xD

(This goober losing the video to a basketball, I’m dead😭)

Smg4 comes to this guy’s café for his help to get his “Michael Jordan Endorsement Video” back because boi lost it and he wants Smg3’s help because their “FRIENDS”

Of course Smg3 saw this as a chance to advertise his café because HOLY SHIT MICHAEL JORDAD!!! A famous basketball player that anyone would want to have the chance to meet and that’s a chance that Smg3 is willing to take because it means his business would BLOW UP *someone throws them a chair*

Btw when Mario shows up to offer his help, I expected Smg4 to be more happy that he has his avatar buddy always trying to help him but instead…

Don’t get me wrong, I know they got a little weirded out about the fact that Mario is a regular around the Junkyard due to him eating at that location but still, that dialogue still sort of hurt me man qwp

But anyways back to my review of this episode and giving my acoustic povs that nobody asked for.

They arrive at the junkyard and after being there for 5 seconds, they find the legendary pokemon that goes by the name of “Michael Jordan Endorsement Video” (sorry for my weak ass jokes, I just woke up and my humor is a little broken rn)

After having the video on sight, Mario pulls a Yoshi and beats the crap out of the spaghetti plate where the video so happened to land on, in one go. Obviously, causing the other two to try and force the USB out of him but both failed as Mario did a BLJ through the trash and forcing 3 & 4 to dig through everything to find him.

Now… the part I was dying to talk about and hopefully I can let out my thoughts the proper way.

As the two spend an entire evening just digging through trash, they start a friendly conversation until Smg4 touches the Smg3’s CnB topic which causes Smg3 to get nervous and lie about everything being fine because he has something that every human being has unfortunately, ✨I N S E C U R I T I E S✨.

Which I understand because bruh, 3’s been seen as a bad copy of 4 who’s the total opposite of him for a good piece of his life, if not his ENTIRE existence and now that’s he’s going through a change in his life for the better, he’s going to face a lot of these insecurity episodes because he’s so used to being seen as the bad guy, the bad copy, The Villain. Always people seeing what 4 does and never looking what 3 does which got him into that dark path.

Is like the Sun and the Moon kind of thing. The Sun (Smg4) can shine the brightest while the moon (Smg3) is just a floating rock shining the least. I’ll bring this up again at the end of the review.

But yeah, Smg3 has insecurities and is more shown when they reach the entrance of Mario’s hiding spot.

-Part 2 🫠👍-

[sunsetsandsunshine]

If me and my mutual’s were the Spider-gang…

❤️EMERY AS MILES MORALES🖤 @sunsetsandsunshine

Y’ALL ALREADY KNOOOOWWWW 💘💞💖💕💗💓

Artist of the group

My Dad is a police officer AND detective sooooooo…

He has done the “You gotta say I love you back” thing to me multiple times…

Fucking loves having friends and talking to people

COMIC BOOKS ARE LIFE‼️ COMIC BOOKS ARE LOVE‼️

Keeping the collectibles I N S I D E of the box!!! IT STAYS NICE AND FRESH THAT WAY— LIKE PRODUCE YK???!!!

Tries to be quote on quote “cooler” in front of others…

Newsflash? It never works

💝 Family lover all the way 💝

Music is LIFE 🎶🎤🎵🎼…idfk what we’d do without it…

A collector of many random things— rocks, toys, bracelets you NAME it

Hyperactive as HELL

Has a hard time accepting loss

“NAH” “🫠” “UHM…” “AAAAAAAAHHHHH”

A sketchbook for literally every season

When it comes to friendships, I will try everything in my power to maintain it and try to keep it going but once I’m done? I’m done 🫶🏾

A singer 😩🤚🏾

Physical affection 🫣💕💓

Apologies WAAAAAAY too fucking much

H A P P Y. S T I M S.

Suppressed anger issues

Knows way too many people both online and irl

Becomes a whole different person when angry 🥸👍🏾

Beatboxes and raps horribly

Basically Miles is me and I’m Miles ❤️🖤

🤍JOJO AS GWEN STACY🩵 @shut-up-jo

Cool af legit why the hell are you friends with me man—

Musician of the group 🪗🎷🎻🎺🎹🥁🎸

Shows up to your house without warning like you owe her money

In a band (most def)

Says the most DIABOLICAL and out of pocket shit known to MAN

🔥 Would burn down the kitchen if she ever cooked 🔥

Listens to Billy Joel 😌

POPULAR AF

Short af too 🤪🫶🏼

BAD PICK-UP LINES…

Would be cancelled if any of her texts got leaked

“DIE” “KYS” “CHOKE” “STFU”

Had the WORST 2020 phase (I’m sorry ilysm please don’t kill me 🙏🏼)

AOT lover (as you fucking should )

Honesty is the best policy 💋

Changes her voice depending on who she’s talking to

Has the most fucking unhinged and cursed FYP page

Doesn’t matter what social media app…it’s just straight up CURSED

Gives the best advice like oml

Could host a TED-talk but would there’s a 99.9% she would get cancelled

Needs to take a flipping BREAK 💕

Could make a TV show with her life (with like a million specials and crossovers)

Licks the powder off the Doritos and/or Taki’s and puts them back in the bag 😶…

Has burned Barbie’s before

Unironically sings 'Dance Monkey' just because

Your so so silly I love you so much 🤍🩵

💛SANA AS PAVITIR🩷 @itzsana-kiddingmenow

If sunshine were a person 🌞

Has a really toxic fanbase…

✨Anxiety✨

The best cook out of all 4 of us probably

“🥺” “GRRRRRRR” “🙈” “NAUUUR”

Calls people adorable, cute etc but can’t handle when people say that to her 🥹💓

Your adorable btw ☺️

When she’s mad she doesn’t cuss that much but most def just says big words

#TOXICFRIENDSGANG

Takes selfies like every single second 📱

Has Snapchat probably

Has listened to JoJo Siwa’s Karma WAAAAY too many times…

Would fold like a lawn chair if poked in the side 💕

FANGIRL

✨ Bilingual queen ✨

Sobbed for DAYS when MatPat dropped his departure video…

Is way too fucking smart 😉

Has the Ultimate Alpha Sigma Gyatt Rizz but doesn’t know it quite yet 👁️🫦👁️

A tea lover ☕️🍵

Would go to antique stores with people to just look at things and then end up buying the whole ass store

Does cartwheels for funsies

Overthinker ☹️

Could solo Bakugou and win

Is going to be a menace one she learns how to drive

Needs more sleep frfr

My lil sugar cream puff over here you guys 💛🩷

💙ZEEZIE AS HOBIE BROWN❤️ @ziipzeepzop-eez

101% effort in E V E R Y T H I N G

Side-eyes 🤨

Has more rizz than the whole Earth population combined

“FW” “THAT’S RACIST” “TWWINNNN” “YUUURR”

EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS EMOJIS

Did I say emojis?

Comes up with the most cutest freaking nicknames for people 🥹💕🩷☹️💓✨

TAKE A BREAK 😡😡😡

Can most definitely win a dance battle against anyone but acts like she can’t

Dad jokes 🫶🏽

Uses finger guns unironically (through text and in person) 👉🏽👉🏽

Could make a diss-track about so many people 🫢…

Would have a million cats if she could

Probably had a Gacha Life phase

Would go to a movie theater just to watch cat videos on the big screen

Popular af 💕

Friends with legit everyone 🙏🏽

Would actually murder a man if they hurt one of her friends

Has watched Coraline and The Nightmare Before Christmas soooooo many damn times

Guillmero Del Toro’s Pinocchio made her ugly cry (Same here 🫠)

Could solo everyone here on Tumblr easily 👁️👄👁️

Hates Twitter/X but only has it for the ✨drama✨

FAIRY LIIIGHTS

Is most def someone’s opp ☺️

Can multi-task like crazy

So cool and dazzling and aahhhfhfhds 💙❤️

(If any of this makes any of you guys uncomfy just DM me and I can erase it 🫶🏾)

[wordbunch]

The Hobbit re-read: favorites, thoughts and honorable mentions

thank u to my tumblr besties for encouraging me to rant abt this book for a little while, and brace yourselves for a LOOONG post; aka We're Going On An Adventure!

this quote abt Gandalf: "tales and adventures sprouted up all over the place wherever he went, in the most extraordinary fashion" like. THIS exactly is Gandalf to me ✨✨✨

the whole good-morninged sequence (as if he was selling buttons at the door! can you imagine! By belladonna tooks SON of all people!!!) 😱

"a cake or 2 would do him good after this fright" me too bilbo

"he had a horrible thought that the cakes might run short" me too bilbo 🍰

Gandalf constantly selling Bilbo's skills to the company and just hyping him up and believing in him all the time!!!! most excellent and audacious hobbit!!! 😎

"this was thorin's style... if he had been allowed he would probably have gone like this until he was out of breath" aka he is Dramatic and Important

"bilbo was getting excited and interested again so that he forgot to keep his mouth shut" how many times will i write ME TOO BILBO in this post

"THE EXPLANATION DID NOT SEEM TO EXPLAIN" 💯💯💯

gandalf: i found him in the dungeons of the necromancer; thorin: girl what were YOU doing at the necromancer's??? 🧐🧐🧐 gandalf: finding things out as usual O M G like what else would he be doing there 😚

bilbo constantly wishing he was back home as soon as he left

"off bilbo had to go before he could explain that he could not hoot even once like any kind of owl" yall this book has so many funny moments but like in a very chill humor way

the fact that one of the TROLLS is called WILLIAM 😂😂😂

"i am a good cook myself, and cook better than i cook" okay bilbo rizz 😏🔥

"they had not at all enjoyed lying there listening to the trolls making plans for roasting them" you don't say. i love this deadpan humor SO MUCH jrrt snapped

that whole beautiful iconic description of kind as summer elrond

"their clothes were mended as well as their bruises, their tempers, and their hopes" WHEN will i go to rivendell 😩

"there is nothing like looking if you want to find something" thorin life coach realness 👏🏼👏🏼

thoring gesturing at a miserable desolate land: these tRuLy hOspiTabLe moUnTaiNs 😍

then gandalf lit up his wand. oF coUrSe it wAs gaNdaLf, but they were too busy to ask how he got there. 4ever mood

he thought of himself frying bacon and eggs in his own kitchen ME TOO BIL- 🍳

"Gollum brought up memories of ages and ages and ages before, when he lived with his grandmother in a hole by a bank by a river" this kind of made me cry. it brings unexpected humanity to such an appalling character; kinda makes you want bilbo to spare him eventually

and the fact itself that bilbo felt so bad for him he decided to just leave him be

"you would have laughed (from a safe distance)" LOVE how JRRT puts random little comments addressed to the reader

gandalf just being like ok i gotta go do other things now. good luck besties. ✌🏼😚

beorn: what are you, a traveling circus? and he is actually right 🤪

"you have got to look after all these dwarves for me, gandalf laughed" and i cried

bilbo being like hmm how will i get down from this tree (except by falling)

bilbo's song while killing gigantic spiders "not very good...but you must remember he had to make it up himself in a very awkward moment"

the dwarves starting to respect him and bowing down until they FALL OVER is such a comical image to me

the whole alluring magic of the elvish feast in the forest which disappears when they get closer!! a whole fairytale mr tolkien!!! 😍

thranduil is a greedy b <3 and especially VERY fond of wine 🍷🍷🍷

"i will lock you all in again and you can sit there comfortably and think of a better plan" bilbo badass mode and we love to see it 💋

tolkien being like WELL u can laugh but you wouldn't have done any better if u were him. real.

when they're in dale i love the numerous references to "songs and stories of old" and all of them basically being a living legend and turning their stay in dale into a public holiday and spectacle

thorin is cocky af

/freeze frame/ "you are familiar with thorin's style on important occasions so i will not give you any more of it" its ok jrrt, let him be a drama queen 👑

bilbo when he takes some gold from smaug being like "this will show them!!!1!1" 😠😠

sassy bilbo strikes again with "did you expect me to trot back with the whole hoard of thror on my back? if there's any grumbling to be done i think i might have a say" GO OFF KING 👏🏼

i just rly love him okay, he stole my heart in this book like a real legitimate professional burglar that he is

"i am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly" etc. basically this whole exchange btw bilbo and smaug is pure gold (pun not intended) 🤫

talking birds that eavesdrop. enough said.

the descriptions of the arkenstone which make you actually want to have it too. genius. there could be no two such gems, even in so marvellous a hoard, even in all the world." 💎💎💎

the harps (untouched by the dragon who had a small interest in music).. WHY is this so funny to me

bilbo putting on some elvish DRIP and being like ✨✨ i feel magnificent ✨✨ (but probably look dumb 😩)

"this is the great chamber of thror" ok thorin the tour guide king

BARD MY KING i love one (1) man 🎯

bilbo being absolutely against any wars or battles and just wanting to go home BUT also being a sneaky lil shit who takes the arkenstone to bard and thranduil BUT also still not wanting to leave his dwarf buddies

when he gives them the gem "not without a shudder, not without a glance of longing" AHHH i want it!

ambiguous gandalf returning. always love to see it

"if you don't like my burglar, please don't damage him" 🙄 ffs thorin chill

"you are not making a very splendid figure as king" yes gandalf call him out

defeat seems "very uncomfortable, not to say distressing" to bilbo. we love.

the fact that he was just knocked out cold during the battle so thur we know very little abt what really happened?? jrrt genius writing hack. might use this one 🤔

fili and kili deserved a better sendoff than just mentioning that they died. come on.

thorin's last words and reconciliation w bilbo... PLEASE I WILL CRY until i throw up. "it has been more than any baggins deserves." "no! there is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly west. some courage and some wisdom blended in measure. if more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world."

i might still be crying

"tea is at 4 but any of you are welcome at any time" my heart... ❤️😭 Guess he's no longer scared of running out of cake

bilbo gifting thrandy a necklace as an apology for eating and drinking his stuff secretly, king shit 😉

bilbo having the absolute NERVE to say to ELVES "your lullaby would wake a drunken goblin". wig wig

he deadass borrowed a handkercheif from freaking ELROND 😳

bilbo arriving home to being presumed dead and his stuff literally being auctioned off

"it was a long time before he was in fact admitted to being alive again…" and sackville-bagginses having sm beef with that HAHAHA

he lost his reputation but he lived his best life so who's the winner here 😌😌😌

the closing lines "you are a very fine person, mr baggins, and i am very fond of you; but you are only quite a little fellow in a wide world after all" "thank goodness! said bilbo laughing."

like. THIS. literally embodies everything. he is just a little guy. just some smol person. BUT STILL had a say in how BIG things happened. BUT he remains happy to be just a smol simple person.

overall an incredibly fun read and it was way more genuinely FUNNY than i anticipated. bilbo is a whole mood. thorin is a diva. gandalf is there to start shit and hype up bilbo. jrrt with random author's notes throughout the book gives me life.

[universaln0b0dy]

Rotten dreams (twisted wonderland x oc) incorrect quotes

(please keep in mind for this that Lydia looks and sounds like she hasn't slept in ten years)

Crowley: Oh my [fucking ]sevens, what the fuck was that?

Lydia: Me reactivation my brain functions, I couldn't stand your bullshit

Crowley: you are very rude, but I was talking about how your leg twisted the other way and nothing happened.

Lydia: Oh, dying ten times made me ✨flexible ✨

----

Lydia: I got that opposite rizz. The second I start talking we are immediately on bad terms.

----

Carter: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

Lydia: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Ruggie: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Lydia: Good thinking.

(This trio probably only works in mu universe but 🤷‍♀️)

----

Sam: Would a Ms. Lydia please come to the front desk?

Lydia, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Sam: points to Ace, Deuce and Grim

Sam: I believe they belong to you?

Ace, deuce and grim, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Lydia: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

----

Riddle: *Screams*

Lydia: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Trey: Should we do something?

Carter: No, I want to see who wins

----

Crowley: Listen, I can explain...

Crewel: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000?

Sam: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000!

Lydia: You guys are getting paid?

----

Lydia: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

----

Lydia: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Carter: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

----

Lydia: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

Ramshakle Ghosts: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Lydia: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

----

Lydia as soon as Crowley tells her there is a problem: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

----

(lydia has to relearn english)

Lydia: A theif.

Riddle: Thief?

Lydia: Theif.

Riddle: I before E, except after C.

Lydia: Thceif.

Riddle: No.

----

Lydia: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Deuce:

Ace:

Carter:

Grim:

Everyone Else At lydias Surprise Birthday Party:

Deuce: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

----

Lydia: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Deuce: The cow???

Lydia: What?

Ace: Deuce, W H Y?

----

Lydia: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Ruggie: I think you mean cards.

Lydia, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

----

Ace: lydia isn’t answering her phone

Grim: I’ll call

Ace: Deuce and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Lydia: Hello?

----

Ortho: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Lilia: Not if they consent to it.

Lydia: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Idia: YES?!?

----

Lydia , walking into their house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Ace: Hey.

Sebek: Hi.

Epel: Hello.

Jack : Hey!

Lydia : I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Deuce: We were out of Doritos.

----

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Carter : Thanks fam!

Lydia: oh no

Rook: *cries* I love you too

Jamil: Sounds fake but okay

Ruggie: can i get a refund?

----

Lydia : Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Ace: >:O language

Deuce: Yeah watch your fucking language

Epel: OKAY WHO TAUGHT DEUCE THE FUCK WORD?

Jack : 'The fuck word'.

Sebek: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Deuce: Oh my god they censored it

Jack : Say fuck, Sebek.

Deuce: Do it, Sebek. Say fuck.

Hehe he I am looking forward to posting the actual story

[youremyheaven]

Random question, since you're a mercury dk/ak what was your favorite subject in school? I feel like you must've had the best teachers and schooling 🤔

I noticed most mercurial people to be very quick learner and graced with the best communication skills, like y'all mer doms can smooth talk your way out lmao 😯😂😂😂

I'm a mercury dk (my pookie is mercury ak) and my favourite subject in school was sociology!!! at one point in time I wanted to do research and eventually get a PhD in sociology/anthropology bc of how much I loved the subject ✨I was a veryyyy good student as well (in this specific subject lol, I was above average in general tho)

I went to some really great schools and have always been the teacher's pet 😌😌😌in some capacity ✨ my old Sociology teacher uses my assignments and projects as the template now 🥺🥺

Am I a quick learner? Academically I was horrible at math and science but otherwise I learnt everything pretty well and was always a good student 😌 everybody copied their homework from me 🤭 I was known in school for being a homework maestro cause I went hard 🔥

I like to think I can communicate well. Maybe it's because I'm a third culture kid and have often been in positions where I have to translate or break things down for my family so I'm really good at explaining things in the simplest possible way 😎🥺 Idk if it's my Venusian influence coming thru with this Mercury but I usually babygirl my way out of situations 😌😜 9/10 times (and i realise that privilege is a huuuuge aspect of it) people think I'm "innocent, naive or pure hearted" and blame others for tryna corrupt me 😭 (tbh, facts ngl) I say privilege is a big part of it because I think semi affluent people are always perceived as "good people" 💀💀💀

My pookie is 100% a smooth talker, man's has a WAYYY with words 😭 he has rizz for dayyyyys and not just rizz but like he can talk to anyone about anything and get away with it 😭 it's so sexy ngl 🥵🥵🥵 the way he can talk to people and handle situations 🤌🏼 he also had great schooling 👀

He also physically looks the part of a "good guy", like if someone were to cast him in a movie they'd cast him as the nice guy from a good family lmao and HE IS that guy 🤭🤭 he was at the airport a little while ago and his knee brace got the metal detector ticking and he just said it was his knee brace and they let him go 😭 (usually there's intense searching esp if you're a guy) and i was like 😌duh pookie you're the least suspicious looking guy😌

[sketch-guardian]

I unironically need to see the classmates reactions to a child mc who’s in middle school and says stuff like skibidi toilet and rizz

I feel like Zuri would be mortified

Oh dear, I mean, well you're not wrong, some of them would be😂but let's go into more detail in the headcanons (platonic, of course-)✨also since you wrote classmates, I assumed you meant all of them, so I hope that's okay🙈:

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A CHILD MC WHO USES GEN Z AND GEN ALPHA SLANGS"

DEMYA

Demya would likely hear such terms thrown around at parties or on the street, mostly from demons trying to pose or young people in general, however she would start paying more attention to their precise meanings because of child MC. When Demya would propose some idea for wacky activities to do together or accomplish an outstanding feat, she wouldn't immediately understand why child MC would say phrases like "let her cook" or "she ate", especially since Demya would interpret them literally, like: yes, she ate a few minutes ago, she didn't cook though, after all she likes rare meat, but what does that have to do with what she has told just now? Child MC would have to explain the meaning behind those slangs and Demya would prove willing enough to learn them to be supportive, using them during some of their conversations

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra would find child MC's way of talking quite incomprehensible and childish, in fact even if he knows some terms because of Azul, he has never tried to find their meanings. Still, if child MC ever called him "cringe", Domnra would know the meaning and pretending not to be totally offended, he would have a little reproachful speech with child MC. During his workouts, child MC would say he's "flexing" and Domnra, perplexed, would reluctantly agree, because he would be literally lifting weights. Domnra would allow child MC to speak in such manner, but would sigh every time, for example when child MC would say "UwU" to Mobim, who wouldn't understand, in fact the little curse would think that it's simply a language it has never heard before

AZUL

Azul is often in step with the times, so he would know the modern slang used by child MC, he would even be able to hold a conversation with them about such topics. When called by child MC "extra" or "delulu" during his dramatic moments, Azul being petty, would respond playfully either with old slangs that child MC wouldn't understand or he would give child MC a taste of their own medicine, returning child MC's slangs from their generation in turn, in a fight to see who proves to be the best/worst

ZURI

Zuri would be quite mortified and disconcerted by child MC's poor vocabulary, not understanding where they could have learned such inelegant terms from. There would be an attempt on Zuri's part to teach child MC a bit of etiquette, so as to sound less rude and more cultured. Reasonably, Zuri knows that changing child MC is wrong, therefore in the presence of other friends of their age, such terms would be granted. Zuri would also be confused when child MC would address her with terms like "yes queen slay" or "you got drip", but at least they semmed to be compliments

ODON

Odon speaks in a fairly old-fashioned way and although very knowledgable on various topics, modern slangs would still prove not to be completely discovered by the eldritch being, who even without using such language, would be curious to learn. Odon could teach centuries-old slangs or nursery rhymes to child MC if they wanted to learn. When child MC would call Odon a "boomer", they wouldn't realize at first that Odon's actually much older, as they're ancient, and if child MC used terms like "spill the tea", Odon would ask why they should spill tea and risk wasting a good beverage. Anyway Odon would be supportive about child MC's behavior, whatever floats their boat after all

REMIEL

Remiel already has trouble understanding human customs and emotions in general, so child MC using such a language wouldn't help her much in understanding, however it would broaden her research, given that she wouldn't be able to learn something new just through tomes and scrolls. Remiel has a very formal and polite way of speaking, it's unlikely that she would change her way of speaking, however she would make an effort to understand child MC, curious about their teachings. Such process would require patience on child MC's part, since Remiel is quite literal-minded, so if child MC said stuff like "stan" or "vibe check" when the angel of death looked cool despite her somber demenaor, Remiel would appear puzzled, but softly pleased once understood the meaning

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel would understand that the terms that child MC used belong to a vocabulary of their generation, however this wouldn't mean that he would know their meaning. Nathaniel would be supportive and patient enough to sit down with child MC and have a long session to learn the new slangs, which coming from him, especially with his stoic resting face, would probably sound funny. When Nathaniel would be enigmatic with his silence, child MC would call him "sus" or say that his aesthetic has a lot of "rizz", comments that Nathaniel would simply give thumbs up for

URIEL

Uriel would probably be the most frustrated, because she wouldn't understand the meaning of such modern Earth slangs, to the point of putting her hands in her hair when child MC exasperates her with their bizarre way of speaking, for a moment she would even mistake it for a dialect. Uriel wouldn't know where a "skibidi toilet" would be in a bathroom or why child MC would shout "yeet" every time they throw something, Uriel would honestly get a headache and although she would accept child MC's way of speaking, she would refuse to take part in it, she has a reputation after all