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elliebyrrdwrites · 3 months ago

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Marriage Law Trope #7

I'm not entirely pleased with how these came. Good news is, when I finally edit them all and put them up onto Ao3, I can work on them a bit more, flesh out the parts I don't find entirely...done. But, like they say, out of sight, out of mind.

Granger tells me that it doesn’t mean anything.

That this joining of our bodies, the consummation of our marriage, doesn’t mean a thing. I tell her that she’s wrong. This? The feel of my hand on her stomach, the feel of my tongue lapping in between her thighs? The way my tongue takes, long, deliberate strokes so that I can taste every bit of her heated arousal? The way she’s cries and whimpers against me, lifting there hips until her mound is pressed into my nose?

The way she grips at my shoulders, my hair, as she looks down at me? The way my eyes captures hers while I taste her?

It’s everything.

I could live for this.

The way she shudders and jerks when I keep going, long after she’s come. I want to see how many times I can make her break in a day. I want to keep having her look up at me all doe eyed and dazed. Like the lust and her pleasure run so deep that she forgets who it is she’s fucking. I want to watch the way she lazily reaches out for me after I make her come and gathers me against her body. I want to feel her cling to me, begging me to slide my cock into her swollen cunt.

It’s soft and swollen and slick. The things is impervious to overuse. Nothing like a useless dick. It can keep going.

And it does.

I just keep fucking her with my tongue, and my fingers, and my dick. I keep making her come, and I keep her all to myself. She never makes it to brunch.

She never makes it out of The house.

All weekend, I keep her. I keep her close, with my fingers bruising her hips and my mouth leaving marks all over her boy, claiming her for mine and mine alone.

She is still insisting that this doesn’t mean anything. She says that it can’t.

And I think she’s trying to tell me that whatever was between her and Weasley never ended before we got married.

Which is fine. That is something I can deal with at a separate time.

Because, I spend the entire weekend buried between Grangers legs like it’s a job. No. I spend my time nestled between her thighs like it’s the only thing I need to survive. Because money, drugs and food are not enough. They mean nothing.

This.

Grangers sweet, tangy sex is where it’s all at.

So. When she rolls out of bed on Monday morning, telling me to let her go, to get my hands out of her hair and out of her knickers, I might have sulked like a petulant child.

I might have hissed when she kicked my shin and I might have scowled at her as she got ready for work.

I’m listening to the sound of the shower and I am watching her get dressed and I’m panicking.

Because she’s leaving and I’m going to be left alone to do nothing. I mean, that’s fine. Because I can paint, but I need breaks from that. I need to take breaks to breathe and drink and eat but the only thing I want to do is breathe and drink and eat her.

It’s angering. Because this isn’t right.

The point is, we don’t belong here. We’re stuck in a marriage that was never borne from love and we’re stuck in a home that neither of us chose but it’s what we got and we’re stuck with it. And we’re stuck with each other.

And the point is, I would have chosen her. In some life or another, I would choose her. Because I am hers. My magic is tethered to hers. There’s an algorithm that the brightest witches and wizards who work for the minister put together and it says the same thing.

I belong to her. Because when I peered in between her thighs and I kissed my way up the inside of her leg, I found that heart shaped freckle, there on the inside of her thigh. And it doesn’t make any sense, but somehow, I know its because I am right. This is the universes way of telling us to give in and to be.

When she’s gone and the house is cold and empty and the light cannot penetrate the curtains or my mind, I leave the house.

The point is, I can’t figure out why Granger wanted me in the first place. How could a witch who was already dating another wizard want me? She’s hardly around and she’s always hated me.

But she gave in to me too easily, too eagerly.

It doesn’t matter that she kept saying it was a mistake. Because, she kept doing it. She spent the entire weekend letting me taste her and have her and she just kept taking. She takes and takes and in return, I end up feeling like I need clarification.

The point is, I can’t sit around this house one more day without settling something.

So, I leave the house.

One by one, each set of eyeballs roll toward me as I step into the Atrium Café inside of the Ministry of Magic. One by one, the chatter dies down and in their place, whispers are born.

One by one, the whispers about Malfoy fill the café as my eyes scan and find Granger. She’s huddled around a little round table with Ronald Weasley. His arm is thrown around her shoulders, his hand is tangled in her hair and he’s hunched over, speaking for only her ears.

She’s staring down at the table, her eyes distant. Her little eyebrows are scrunched up and her little mouth is pursed into a little flower and i know, I know, she is remembering the feeling of my mouth on her body. She’s is remembering her confession of wanting me more than she wants him.

But she doesn’t move away when he lifts his other hand to her cheek and forces her to look up at him.

There’s six million little legs crawling up my body. They’ve taken control, these ants. Because, they’re making me itch and they’re making me stalk through the café as the eyeballs roll around the room and watch as I approach the table where Granger is letting Weasley touch her and all I can do is listen to their commands.

When I reach them and slap a hand over my neck, she looks up at me.

Her eyes widen as they take me in. I’m dressed in a white undershirt, speckled in paint and my slacks hang loosely around my hips. I’m full of terrible flaws, but when she looks at me like that, I forget them all. Because she looks at me like I’m something unique and as terrible as I am, she finds me attractive.

I shake my hair away from my face as Weasley’s eyes sharpen on me. He leans back in his chair, his hand still on her. His fingers are still latched onto her hair and he takes his stupid eyes and he scrutinizes me. He thinks Granger is too good for me. And, she is.

But she has me and I won’t give that up.

“That’s my wife, Weasel.” The entire café falls silent. Everyone has died and this place is now a cemetery as my quiet words seem to echo off of the walls. This graveyard holds the ghosts of our pasts and the memory of our bodies betraying everything we were ever taught.

I can see the rage flare in his stupid face. Because, he goes red and his eyes grow hard as his hand palms the back of her neck.

He’s doubling down and he says, “Only on paper, ferret.”

“Ron,” Granger sighs and makes to move, but Weasley isn’t going to let this end smoothly.

He tightens his hold on her neck and his thumb swipes over the curve of it. The same curve that my mouth sucked and nibbled at.

My head tilts as I run my eyes over her. She’s remembering my mouth on her. She’s remembering the way it felt to give into our wants and needs and how it threw her entire world off balance

My eyes narrow in on her mouth. “I think it’s a little more than that,” I smirk and look her in the eye. “Isn’t that right, love?”

Weasley catches my implication and pushes to his feet. “Piss off, Malfoy.” He leans his hands onto the table and sneers at me. “She doesn’t want you. She was forced into marrying you. Are you actually pathetic enough to believe that it means anything? That, somehow, there is more between the two of you?”

He isn’t finished He’s going to get it all out, now. The opportunity has presented itself to him and in front of the world, he’s decided to vomit all of his words and all of his hate onto me.

“Because, it’s been me, Malfoy.” He spits. “It’s been my bed she crawls into for the past three years. It’s been me who has had her heart in my hands. Her body isn’t meant for you. It never was. Because it’s mine. It doesn’t matter what the legal documents say, because I still get to have her in all the ways you never could.”

It only takes a moment for my body to react.

My leg lifts and my foot kicks into the edge of the table. The table slams into Weasley’s gut, knocking him to the floor and the air from his lungs.

Granger screams and leaps out of the way before I jump on Weasley. He’s gasping for air and fighting to breathe and I make it worse.

Because, I like to use my hands.

There’s the feeling of flesh and bone against my knuckles. I can hear the bridge of his nose break and I can feel the blood pouring out of his nose and into my skin, in between my fingers. It bleeds into the miniscule lines of the top layer of my skin and I can feel it splattering against my face as I continue to beat the man.

I’m hitting him and I’m making him take back all of those hateful words. Because the idea of Granger being with anyone else hurts.

“Draco,” Granger’s calm voice breaks my concentration and my hands falter, they slip with all of the blood and land on either side of Weasley’s head as my eyes flick up to meet hers.

Granger is looking down at me, a mix of anger and resolve on her pretty little face. She holds out her hand and with her eyes, she asks me to take it. She uses her eyes and tells me to come with her.

For just a moment, I hang my head and close my eyes. I have to force the little legs running all over my body to calm down. They’re overly excited by the rush of blood my body takes. The adrenaline is still pounding through my system and it’s taking all of my energy not to do anymore harm. Weasley is coughing and spitting out the blood, his hands covering his face, protecting himself from further harm.

And for a second, I actually feel a shred of remorse.

So, I lift my head and nod my head before I take her hand and let her help me to my feet.

“Oh, Draco.” She sighs and shakes her head. She sounds so sweet, I want to eat her up. She shakes her head and looks up at me with the big sunset eyes and her walls are all the way down as they gobble me up.

I take her little face in my bloody hands and cradle it. I should be angry with her for continuing whatever it is between the two of them, but I can’t. I look at her face and her big eyes and I can’t be angry with her. I see her eyes and I know she’s mine. Somehow, she has always been mine.

“It’s over.” I tell her. “Whatever you had with him, it’s over.” And she just nods up at me, her eyes centering in on my mouth before I kiss her.

In the middle of the Ministry, I declare the inevitable. Because, I can feel her melting into me, all of her resistance is fading away as she slowly gives in.

I forget all about Weasley and when we break apart, I nod once before wrapping my hand around hers. I’m taking her home with me and she wont be able to fight me. She wont want to.

I forget all about Weasley until Granger shouts his name. I forget all about Weasley before his fist reaches out and hits me against the jaw.

I forget all about everything as my body falls and my face slams against the tiled floor.

And as the world goes black and the skin on my brow splits open, my blood spilling onto the floor, I remember one thing.

….

“It’s always going to be him, isn’t it?” Ron is near tears as he watches me tend to my unconscious husband.

Draco’s long body is draped over the couch, his head lolled to the side, his long leg hanging over the arm of it. We’re in Harry’s office, where I levitated his body, so that I can heal him in private.

Harry’s face is pursed in disapproval as he looks between Draco and Ron as he tends to the broken nose that is still gushing blood.

I sigh and sweep a lock of hair off of Draco’s forehead. “He’s my husband, Ron.” I argue but really, he is so much more. He always has been. He always will be.

“He’s a fucking psychopath!”

Harry sighs when Ron’s face jerks out of his hand as he leaps off of Harry’s desk and glares at me. He can see the way my fingers are gentle against Draco’s face. He can see it in the way I take great care to heal his wounds, that he has lost me. He lost me over three years ago when I went back to Hogwarts. He lost me the minute Draco stumbled upon me in the middle of a panic attack. He lost me the second Draco decided to put all of his attention on me.

Even after I lost Draco, I was always going to be lost to anyone else.

“He is not!” Whatever Draco is, it isn’t psychotic. Whatever he is, it’s never stopped me from gravitating toward him. And And I know he wont ever be stable, but it doesn't make him less appealing, less loveable.

“He is and you still want him! He hurt you and you still want him. It’s sick.”

I don’t respond as I seal the gash on Draco’s brow with the tip of my wand. Look, I didn’t plan on being forced to marry the boy who broke my heart. I didn’t plan on having to face the nightmare that is his family for the foreseeable future. I tried to fight it. I did. Because I was so angry at him, I didn’t want to be his again.

I didn’t want to give him the opportunity to see me as anything else but unattainable. Because that is what he was for me.

Because to him, I was nothing. I didn’t exist.

I expected him to shun me the way he had been for the past three years. Instead, he took to me like a moth to a flame. He followed me around with that same wild-eyed look and stalked me like his prey.

It was impossible not to give in this weekend. He was there, in all of his manic glory and the realization that I never stopped loving him was painful. Because he was there, right in front of me, touching me and wanting me and how could I say no?

How could I lie to him?

“He’s just going to hurt you again.” Ron’s voice breaks through my reveries. They shatter the glass bubble I climb into whenever I stare at Draco. His features were hard and harsh, though the beauty of him was undeniable. His eyes expressed everything he couldn’t say.

His eyes always undo me.

“We don’t know that, Ron.” Harry argues. “He’s living with Hermione. His father’s hold on him is loosening more and more each day.” His eyes slide over to Draco, who is still out cold on the couch and I can see the wheels in his mind working. “I think he feels trapped.”

“Are you actually defending him?” Ron shouts in disbelief and Harry winces. “Harry, he just attacked me for having a relationship with Hermione before this stupid law passed.”

Harry shrugged and I can’t help but close my eyes and massage my temples with the tips of my fingers.

“Draco doesn’t just look at me like his property.”

“Bullshit.” Ron hisses, cutting me off.

“I think he loved me.”

Ron throws his head back and laughs, derisively. “You’re mental.”

“Ron, don’t.” Harry scolds him. With a sigh, he opens the door to his office and gestures outside. “Let’s go get you healed and give them some time alone.”

Ron glares over at me for a moment before he heads for the door. But he pauses before he can leave and he looks over at me. “This,” He points to me and to Draco. “This wont last. Don’t expect me to be there for you when it all blows up in your face.”

All I can do is roll my eyes as he and Harry leave, quietly shutting the door behind them.

I stare down at Draco and feel my bones melting into something useless, as I admire him. Because even with all of the bruises and all of the blood, all of the torment that you can see in his eyes, even when he’s asleep, I cant stop myself from wanting to keep him. I can’t help but feel like even in a room full of art, he would be the most beautiful and intriguing thing in the room to me.

My fingers graze his jaw, just barely, admiring the hard bone and muscle under his bruised skin when he gasps.

Draco gasps and his eyes pop open.

His wild eyed gaze falls on me and stun me into place.

For a second, we stare back at each other, wide eyed and frozen.

And then his hand jerks out and thread painfully into my hair.

He pulls me down and his lip curves into a sneer as my face hovers over his before he growls up at me,

“You.”

….

My body falls hard onto the floor, pain cracks into my face. But, my mind drifts up into the edges of the universe. It floats for lightyears. It drifts forever and ever until it lands on a moment.

It lands on a moment that’s been taken from me and given into the heavens like a fading, dying star.

There’s Granger and me. In this moment, this memory, there is Granger and me and we’re alone in the school library. This isn’t he same nugget of gold I’ve been sitting on. This isn’t the secret looks of admiration from afar that I used to spend my time seeking out as a youth.

this is a moment from a different time.

This is a moment that somebody tole from me.

And it is me and it is her and it is our mouths greedily tasting the other. It is our hands roaming the expanse of our bodies, memorizing the lines and curves an divots.

And it isn’t just a dream. I have been dreaming about Granger for years and this isn’t a dream.

Trust me, I know.

Because there is her and there is me and all of the things in between that keep pulling and pushing at us.

I used to kiss her and hold her and she used to let me.

I don’t know if it was for one night or a lifetime but it’s there. That memory of familiarity is still there when I thread my hands through her hair and when she slaps at me with all of her pent up anger.

Her eyes are wide and full of fear as she stares down at me, as I hold her close enough to smell her skin. I’m taking all of her data, all of her smells and textures and I’m stuffing them into my mouth so that I can taste the memory of her again and again. I’m forcing the flavors onto my tongue, iliciting the truth.

“How long?” I ask her, my eyes are stabbing hers and I’m demanding all of the answers she refused to give me before. I’m her fucking husband for gods sake and she still refused to tell me that she belonged to me once before.

Possibly forever.

“What?” She asks, her little voice trembles as I force her head to tilt to one side. I’m exposing the neck that belongs to me and I’m forcing my eyes to trace the lines so that they can rememberrememberremember.

“Eighth year,” I force the words out of my lips as my mind struggles to stay on task. “How long?”

I watch her throat bob as she swallows. I watch as her lips mouth silent words before she finally spits them out. “Not long.” She shakes her head but winces when my hold on her hair tightens, forcing her to stay still.

“We only dated for a short period of time but you wanted me.” She rasps. “You wanted me and you had me for only a little while, and I—” She stops her rambling and presses her lips together and forces her eyes to close.

Granger’s eyes are shut but tears are pushing past her eyelids, clinging to her lashes before they fall onto my face. Like little drops of rain, they land on my face and I loosen my grip on her hair and lift my other hand to her chin, gently pinching it between my fingers as I study her face.

Yes, I can see it now.

There, between her lips and her eyelids, it’s there. She tried to occlude it all away but she failed. Because it’s all here for plain sight.

“You loved me.” My words tickle her lips and she nods, fervently. And she’s been in pain. Her heart was broken by the same boy who she was forced to marry.

And, she was right all along. This thing between us, this marriage? It is not going, at all, like I thought it would.

It’s so much worse.

#fanfic #dramione #dramione fanfic #draco malfoy #hermione granger #hermione x draco #draco x hermione #dramione fanfiction #dramione ship #dramione fan fiction #ron bashing #leave me alone #possessive draco malfoy #dramione drabbles #dramione drabble #dhr drabble #dhr fanfiction #dhr #dhr fic

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macgyvermedical · 8 months ago

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My Experience in Inpatient Psych

So I know a lot of people on here have talked about their experience in inpatient psych facilities, but I'd like to add mine just to give all you writers out there a writer-focused one. It's below the cut just in case you have to sit this one out for your own reasons.

To give you some background, I am 30 years old and have had hallucinations since about 16 and bizarre intrusive thoughts (someone living in my house that wasn't supposed to be there, somebody poisoned my walls, etc...) for about a decade, as well as very severe anxiety since I was about 3 years old. This is something not a lot of people know about me, even people I am friends with IRL.

The only thing I am actually diagnosed with is anxiety, which I'm starting to think is a failing of the psych systems I have been a part of. I have had counseling off and on and prior to this hospitalization I took escitalopram, aripiprazole, and gabapentin prescribed by my primary care doctor- all for the severe anxiety.

Quite frankly, I should have been in inpatient psych at least a few times before this, and it's by sheer dumb luck that I've survived to continue this blog.

On Friday, I was at home alone and made a few pretty bad decisions. I wont say what they were because frankly they're embarrassing, but they have to do with self-harm. I was scheduled to work Saturday and at about 9pm I realized that if I drove myself to work I would crash my car. Since my wife drives me sometimes, I figured I would just ask her to.

I told my wife and she asked- even if she drove me to work, since I was a nurse, would I be able to keep myself safe around insulin or other potentially dangerous drugs? I couldn't answer that question. We talked for a couple hours and came to the conclusion that I probably needed to go to the emergency department.

At this point I figured they would evaluate me and release me because I couldn't possibly meet the criteria for inpatient. I was wrong in this assumption. After telling them the decisions I had made that day, the feelings of wanting to die in a car crash, plus about a previous attempt, they recommended inpatient. Turns out, when you're a nurse, you can make some really bad life choices with the knowledge you have, and they didn't want to take any chances.

I was given paper scrubs to wear (so I couldn't hurt myself with my clothing or a hospital gown). I was also given a patient companion (someone who sits in the room and makes sure you don't hurt yourself).

They gave me the option of signing myself in voluntarily, or putting me on a writ of detention. A writ of detention is a piece of paperwork that allows a medical professional or law enforcement officer to hold someone for 3 days in a psychiatric facility against the person's will for the purposes of psychiatric treatment. Whether you sign the voluntary or get placed on a writ, you cannot sign yourself out. You need to wait until the psychiatrist taking care of you thinks you're ready to go.

I didn't believe at this point I needed to go inpatient, but I took the voluntary option because there are some perks, like being able to leave within 3 days if appropriate. At this point I was convinced I was probably going to have to call off work Saturday and Sunday, probably be out of the hospital Monday, have a few days to rest and be back at work on my next scheduled shift after that, which was Thursday.

Well, that's not what happened.

Because of some of the decisions I had made, along with bed availability, they wanted to keep me in the observation unit overnight before they sent me to psych. I stayed overnight in a unit that shares staff with the unit I work on, so I was taken care of by my coworkers. This was surprisingly not that bad. I like my coworkers and they were really professional about it.

Saturday I felt like I was in a fog all day. I couldn't watch TV. I couldn't color or write. I worked out some in my hospital room and paced the halls once or twice. Mostly I hung out with my wife and occasionally talked with my companion, but even talking was difficult. I had refused ativan because I felt like I had no hope of finding a medication that made me feel better, and I figured I didn't want to take the one medication that might actually work and then not be able to get it ever again.

Around 7PM I took a 45 minute ambulance ride to the facility. Getting my blood pressure taken is a big anxiety trigger for me, but my brain felt so scrambled that I couldn't express this well. They took it every 10 minutes on the ride there and by the time I got there it was in the 170s/100s (BP goes up when you're having severe anxiety). This was not their fault of course, but no matter how much I thought about telling them or refusing the BPs, I just couldn't do it.

When I got to the facility I was greeted by a tech who took my BP again (150s/90s this time), showed me around and looked through my personal belongings (basically just the clothing I came in with since my wife took my phone and wallet knowing I wouldn't be able to have them on the unit) to make sure I didn't have anything I wasn't allowed to on the unit. She showed me around my room and was really thorough with telling me how things worked, what the rules were, etc..

The rules included:

No patients allowed in other patients rooms

No personal belongings that had strings, belts, or laces, or that could be used as a weapon

No caffeine after lunch and no free access to caffeine

No personal electronics (including eReaders and watches). There was a TV in the day room and 2 phones mounted to the wall for patient use

A little later my nurse came into my room and asked me a ton of questions. Here's the thing about any hospital- you get asked the same questions over and over. By the time I'd gotten there I could give my story in under a minute. Or at least, that's what it felt like. There were only 2 clocks on the unit, at the nurses stations.

The unit itself was laid out in a "T" shape. There was a main nurse's station at the place where the two hallways intersected. At the end of the long hallway there was another smaller nurses station, a cafeteria/day room, and a "comfort room" which was a small room off the day room that had a collection of the oldest and worst donated books that have every come together on a bookshelf.

I did some pacing that night and then went to bed, but didn't sleep particularly well.

On Sunday morning the tech woke me up to take my blood pressure, which was, not unsurprisingly, still high. It was about 5 AM so I got up and paced the longer of the corridors for about an hour. Breakfast was served at 8 and the food wasn't that bad. The coffee was about the worst I'd ever drank, which I suppose helped with the no caffeine goals.

Just after breakfast I met with a psychiatrist on an iPad for about half a minute, and I'm not exaggerating there. The only questions he asked were whether I was suicidal and whether I would be fine with tripling my dose of aripiprazole in light of the hallucinations. I had had a 50-lb weight gain in the last year so I asked to switch my med. He switched the med to cariprazine. That was all.

I had a much longer meeting with my nurse later. All the nurses did an excellent job of assessing me, asked tons of questions, and it seemed like they really tried to figure out what was going on. That day I also met with a social worker, and a therapist, and a nurse practitioner. Each of them did an assessment to see what my needs were while I was there.

There was also a music therapy session where I cried my eyes out to Because of You by Kelly Clarkson.

I was really tired by the end of the day but I also didn't think I could sleep so I asked for trazodone. I should clarify that when I say "I" in this piece I really mean my wife convinced me to ask because I legitimately didn't believe I needed or deserved any of the things I asked for at this point. To my utter shock and surprise, they gave me the trazodone.

My first night on trazodone was amazing and I realized I hadn't slept well in a long time. With trazodone I fell asleep and stayed asleep until the blood pressure cart came rolling down the hallway at 5am. The second I got up on Monday morning I was wide awake.

I paced a lot Monday. I went to a goals session in the morning where I gave a goal to write 3/4 of a page. I didn't know if I could do it or what I was even going to write about, but I know I like to write and it might be a reasonable introduction to getting back to life.

I also was having kind of a rough day brain-wise. My brain was coming up with all the ways I could hurt myself in my room. There weren't a lot of them, but it was trying. I told the nurse during her assessment and she asked if I felt I could keep myself safe. I asked her what she would do if I said no. She said they could move me to a more secure part of the unit and give me more supervision. I knew what part of the unit she was talking about, and I didn't want to go there (no space to pace, and pacing was keeping me alive right then). So I told her I could keep myself safe (if anything, the idea of moving was good motivation to do stay safe in itself). I hallucinated some black and white blood cells falling from the ceiling and music coming out of my vents.

I also had another meeting with the social worker to figure out discharge plans. I voiced in the meeting that I wasn't sure that I could trust my wife, since it felt like at the time she was the one who exaggerated my symptoms to get me in here. The social worker said we had really good communication skills, since this was something I felt needed to be said in front of both of them and we both stayed really calm through the whole thing.

I finished the day with an art therapy session that really helped me turn a corner. The prompt was to draw the emotion(s) you felt right now on one side of the paper, and to draw the emotions you wished you could feel on the other side. For the first time I realized that my emotional state was actually really bad and that the suicidality hadn't come out of nowhere, and that I needed help.

When my wife came to visit later that night I was able to tell her about my breakthrough, even though I still felt a little bit like she had done something to get me in here and I still wasn't sure I needed to be inpatient.

Tuesday was a lot better. I felt like I had woken up out of some kind of fog and I had no idea how long I'd been in it. I went to goals group, a spiritual group, and group occupational therapy. My goal was to be more social and I made a friend and we paced together and worked out. I read a quarter of The Martian by Andy Weir (my wife brought it for me because the best thing on the bookshelf was Louis L'Amour). I wrote about how good I suddenly felt. Turns out, I thought, a few days of good sleep, lots of therapy, and a new medication or two will really change things.

A quick side note about The Martian. I highly recommend it to anyone who is chilling in a psych hospital but has the ability to read while they're there (I sure didn't the first few days). I don't really know why, but the first few times I read it, I felt like they had created this superhuman character in Mark Watney just so they could throw a ton of wild things at him for the story. This time reading it, as a suddenly not suicidal person, I realized anyone with Mark's skill would have done the same thing and not just died on Sol 7 to get it over with.

Wednesday I woke up not feeling nearly as good as Tuesday, but still like the fog had lifted. I was a little disappointed (I hallucinated my cat (thanks for coming to visit me, Corina), some spiders, and just felt kinda meh. But I remembered how good I felt the day before, and that really kept me hopeful about going home.

I saw the psychiatrist again and asked to go home. He joked a little about me staying till Christmas, but ultimately he said as soon as his note was in I could go. I ended up leaving at about 12:30 with my wife.

In the time since leaving I have required a lot of support from my wife. The medications are all locked up, so are the blades and anything I could use to hurt myself. My wife has me in eyeshot at all times. I can't drive due to intrusive thoughts, so she does all the driving now. I quit my job because I feel like it was a big part of why I ended up as bad as I was. As someone who has been a pretty independent person this is a big change of pace, but something that is really necessary to my healing.

Ultimately at the end of my hospital stay, I was prescribed escitalopram, gabapentin, trazodone, cariprazine, and then a few days later propranolol. I'm currently on a total of 5 psych meds and honestly I don't care one bit because its so much better than being not on them at this point in my life.

#mental health #personal #writing reference #inpatient psych #suicide mention #hallucination mention

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abyssal-author-and-artist · 2 months ago

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My blog is generally pretty lighthearted and I stick to reblogging art and fic and fun stuff, but you know what. I feel like I need to say this.

I am a trans teen in the US. I'm seventeen, so too young to have voted. I'm terrified for my life right now. I usually post about college but I'm actually concurrently enrolled in high school still and the kid who sits behind me in first period government is a massive Trump fanboy. I'm going to have to go to high school Monday and talk about the election. I'm going to have to hear my deadname called and hear people in my super conservative high school talk about how happy they are Trump won. Everything is terrifying. I walk outside of my house and I'm scared I'll be shot. Several months ago I promised that I'd kill myself if that bastard won.

He did and I'm still here.

I'm not thriving. I'm not living my best life. I'm barely living. But I'm surviving. I'm coping. I'm trying my goddamned best. It's hard. I want so bad to just go and take as much medication as I can and slit my wrist for good measure and pass away in my sleep. But I'm still here. And I will be here.

I am in so much pain. But I'm living on spite and determination and everything I can scrape together. I know I need support and those around me need support. So consider this a support masterpost.

Support:

First thing you should see if you're a trans person in the US.

Here's a link to the Trevor Project and here's a link to their suicide hotline page. They've already saved my life once before. Please note - they recommend calling if you need immediate support. Donate if you can, please.

This post is both a suicide hotline masterlist and a post mentioning how something feels deeply wrong here with this election.

On the topic of something being wrong, sign this petition. I'm only seventeen but I did this and it might not feel like much but if we couldn't shoot that bastard (I am not pro-gun but I am when it comes to him) then we'll do the next best thing. Here's the link to the petition itself. Make sure to check the post every once in a while - the original petition got taken down and this is important.

I follow a lot of gimmick blogs, so I got to see this post encouraging us to be loud. Because we should be. Because if we die they've won and my mom didn't smoke weed on the steps of the state capital of Colorado to legalize it just so her son could roll over and die.

Here is the Tumblr Hot Beverage Masterpost, as I've taken to calling it. My personal favorites are the London Fog in the replies, earl grey with milk, honey, and vanilla (in the tags), and some additions from me are hot chocolate with peppermint melted into it, earl grey with lavender, caramel apple tea, and really anything else you can think of. Trust me. This post works better than you think.

Read this post if you haven't seen it already. It's half poem, half Tumblr being Tumblr, all wonderful to read.

Things I just like to see:

PM Seymour and Bettina Levy both have shown their support for everyone struggling right now. It might not be much, but I still really appreciate it and seeing support can really help.

The cat with the kind and reassuring face. No other context.

Four panel comic of hope. Because you're more than enough.

Can't find the post where I found this but this is a link to a virtual toy where you can make your own galaxy.

Please. Eat something. Drink a hot beverage. Draw, write, read, knit, sew, sculpt, bake, do something that helps. Reach out to friends, even if they're online friends. Talk to someone you trust. Make vent art. Write vent fics. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it helps.

Do not roll over and die. Live. Live on spite. Live on determination. Live on shitposts and live on heartfelt stories like this one. If you have anything to add to this post please do. Add more resources. Add more love to this post. I know I'm just a guy on the internet saying shit, but I still care about everyone who sees this post.

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scmg11 · 8 months ago

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KATE BISHOP x READER

Maybe your heart isn’t made of plastic

Summary: Y/N always considered high school an hellhole where you need to fight everyday to survive, especially when Kate Bishop ruled over everything and everyone adored her. Everyone except her. She hated her. So she just tried to lay low and mind her own business, but when a new student arrive at their school, madness follows.

After a revenge plan, everything falling apart and just overall chaos, Y/N hooked up with none other than Kate Bishop. And it just kept happening. The two started hooking up wherever they had the chance and old feelings start to resurface. But would things work out or they would fall apart eventually?

[I got inspired after watching the new Mean Girls movie and after writing a too long oneshot about an original story with Kate, so I decided to create a book.]

A/N: HELLO HELLO HELLO BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!

I am here with a brand new book for you! Someone may already know that I got inspired by the new Mean Girls movie and wrote a 27k long oneshot before deciding to create a book and split it into multiple chapters.

This first chapter just go through the movie to introduce chapters and a bit of the background story, but the real story will start in the next chapter, so- STAY TUNED!

I pretty much have the whole book already written so you guys don't have to wait too much for updates (even if I will be busy with updating my Hailee imagines book too).

As always, let me know what you guys think, it's really important your opinion to me ❤️

Oh I almost forgot, this book is pretty much all smut. So read at your own risk 😉.

Sending you guys love ❤️

Chapter 1

Y/N trudged to her locker on a too sunny Monday morning, almost dragging her feet across the school’s hallways with a big scowl on her face, "morning little flower- damn you are glowing today, sweety. Stop that or you’re gonna lit the whole school on fire."

"Very, very, very funny." Y/N turned around to face her best friend with an unimpressed face and found him wearing a teasing grin as he laid his shoulder on the locker beside hers and crossed his arms, "wow, today you’re screaming gay more than ever." Y/N stated after giving her best friend a once over, taking his rainbow t-shirt in and rolling her eyes, then focusing her attention back in her locker to grab her book for her first class.

"Uh-uh, who the hell peed in your Cheerios this morning?"

"Kate Bishop." Y/N growled under her breath after grabbing her book and accentuated her anger by slamming her locker close harshly. "Speaking of the Devil." Y/N rolled her eyes when she saw Kate Bishop strolling down the hallway alongside her friends with her signature smirk on her lips, catching everyone’s attention as their eyes followed them, including Y/N’s ones.

"Oh hey, Y/N. I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t see you there." Kate spoke with a clearly, fake apologizing tone and didn’t bother to listen to Y/N’s comeback before resuming her walk to presumably her first class, giggling alongside her friends.

"What a fucking bitch." Y/N shook her head while eyeing the back of Kate’s head, not realizing her best friend was giving her a pitying gaze.

"What did she do, now?"

"She almost ran me over with her car." Y/N turned around to face her best friend with anger boiling under her skin, her hands clenching around her book as she hugged it hard to her chest.

"What a fucking bitch." Y/N laughed when her best friend repeated her words and shook her head, relaxing right away and bumping her shoulder with the side of his bicep. She was too short to aim for his shoulder.

"Thank you Buck. You always know what to say to cheer me up."

"Oh honey, you know I do."

"Good morning, I would like to introduce you to our new student. She is moving from Slovenia-."

"Sokovia." The red haired girl corrected the principal with a shy smile, her awkward smile settling back on the class staring at her bored.

"Sokovia. Right, hm- welcome Wendy!"

"Oh, it’s Wanda."

"My apologies, Wanda." The redhead nodded once at the apologetic man before meeting everyone’s eyes with an anxious grimace on her lips, but luckily her new teacher pulled her out of her mercy when no one said a thing for a few moments.

"Okay, Wanda take your seat, let’s start the lesson." The blonde pointed to the only empty seat in the room and the girl immediately sauntered to it to sit down.

"Hey." The redhead smiled politely to two of her classmates staring at her with wide smiles, a little bit uncomfortable with their unrelenting gazes giving her a once over.

"Hello, fresh meat." Bucky was the first to speak up, sending Wanda a friendly wave before the other girl, with green ends on her hair did the same.

"Hey Wendy. Welcome to the jungle that is our school."

"Hey- HEY! Are you even listening to me?" Bucky punched Y/N’s shoulder when he noticed the girl was trying to balance a chicken nugget on her nose instead of focusing on him rambling about whatever he was telling her, making the nugget fall onto the ground and finally catching Y/N’s attention.

"Yeah, yeah sure. You were talking about something extremely important." Y/N nodded seriously and completely ignored the nugget falling on the ground and sliding a few feet away from their table, moving her attention on a frowning Bucky instead and pretended to not notice a guy stepping on it.

"I was trying to ask you- have you seen the new girl? She ran away."

Y/N shrugged nonchalantly, stabbing some pasta on her fork and chewing on it, all the while Bucky’s eyes never moved from her, staring at her intently. She bit down on her bottom lip at her stomach churning with pity for the new girl and sighed out with an excessive roll of her eyes when her eyes caught Bucky’s pleading ones, already sitting up from the bench, "alright, let’s go rescue her."

Y/N totally ignored Bucky celebrating with a soft squeal and walked out of the room, knowing he was following her. She flipped some dude off that slammed into her on his way to the cafeteria before making her way towards the bathrooms, where she knew the girl was hiding. They smiled politely at a girl walking out and fled in the bathrooms, Y/N crouching down to look under the stalls to locate the redhead and finding her in the middle one, silently pointing at Bucky with her head, who nodded and knocked gently on the door, "hey- everything okay?" She asked with a slightly worried tone and leaned on the first stall’s frame, waiting for the girl to answer. She took a glance at Bucky and found him checking himself out in the mirror and rolled her eyes good-naturedly with a fond, exasperated smile on her lips.

"Yeah." The stall door opened a few moments later and Wanda, with her tray in her hands, appeared, looking a bit uncomfortable and confused but smiled awkwardly at the two best friends nonetheless.

"Rough first day?"

"I don’t know, should it be? I am not used to this."

"What do you mean?" Y/N asked as she grabbed Wanda’s empty tray and threw it in the trash can, waving Bucky off when he looked at her outraged at her gesture, before crossing her arms and lying her butt on the sink behind her, staring at Wanda curiously.

"I was homeschooled."

"Oh that’s so cool!" Bucky exclaimed with an envy, dreamy glint in his eyes as he stared at Wanda, but when Y/N slapped his arm gently he came back to his senses, "so this means you need two guides to help you deal with this shit hole."

"I guess?" Wanda asked more than stated and Y/N already started to like her. She seemed so naive.

"Let’s go. Your first lesson starts now." Y/N signaled for Wanda to follow her as she was already halfway out of the bathroom, Bucky pushing the redhead to move and then followed the two girls out of the bathroom, strolling back into the cafeteria. "Alright- hm, high school is essentially a jungle where if you don’t know how to survive you will be eat alive for sure. That’s why finding a place to belong to is vital. You can choose from the bitchy theater guys, the horny musicians, the dumb jocks, the stoners and the nerdy science guys. Do you feel like you already belong to one of these groups?" Y/N looked at Wanda expectantly after pointing to all the groups sat in the cafeteria, grimacing when her eyes fell on a nerd picking his nose nonchalantly.

"Not really." Wanda shook her head, her face scrunching up in distress as she assessed all the people in the room before looking at Y/N expectantly, "hey, I can hung out with you guys."

Y/N and Bucky shared a quick glance with wide smiles on their lips and nodded eagerly, "it’s fine by us." Bucky shrugged with a wide, excited smile, patting Wanda’s shoulder gently.

"But we need to warn you, we are too cool for this school. Are you sure you can handle all this popularity?" Y/N joked and was glad Wanda caught on it too as she giggled and nodded. Suddenly the chatter in the cafeteria stopped as its doors opened and three girls entered the room.

"Who are they?"

"Oh no, no, no." Y/N shook her head and turned around, pushing Wanda to do the same.

"Do not look them in their eyes!" Bucky whisper-yelled as he covered his eyes dramatically, but Wanda felt like she was frozen in her spot as she watched the trio stroll to the only empty table in the room.

"They are what we like to call them, the plastics. ‘Cause they’re shiny, fake and hard." Y/N explained, finishing with a scoff and a roll of her eyes. "The one on the left is Cassie Lang, she knows everything about everyone. The one on the right is Natasha Romanoff, her parents are famous scientists. She is so good in martial arts I think she might be a spy or something. And the one in the middle is Kate Bishop. Lacrosse team captain and a state archery champion. She is the Queen Bee. She controls the whole school. Everyone is afraid of her." When Y/N noticed Wanda kept staring at the trio now sitting down, Y/N slapped her gently on her shoulder and whispered, "Wanda, do not look or-."

"Hey, you." A voice echoed around the room as chatter slowly started again, Wanda furrowing her eyebrows and pointing at herself confusedly, "yeah, you. Come here."

"No, Wanda!" Y/N tried to grab Wanda’s arm and stop her from walking towards the black haired girl, but she slipped out of her reach and Y/N cursed under her breath as she watched the redhead walk towards the plastics. "Shit."

"What did they tell you?" Y/N asked as soon as Wanda joined them at the cafeteria entrance, the three of them walking down the stairs to go to their shared class after lunch time finished.

"They seem nice. They asked me to sit down with them this week."

"Are you serious?" Y/N asked confused, furrowing her eyebrows and looking at Wanda curiously, stopping in her tracks before she could walk down the stairs.

"Yeah. I don’t know why you two hate them. Kate seems so cool."

"What? No, no, no. Wanda- Kate Bishop is not cool. Kate Bishop is a scum-sucking life ruiner. She is heartless and a master bitch." Y/N nodded firmly when Bucky did the same to her.

"Yeah, Wan. In middle school, Kate told everyone Y/N is-."

"BUCK! Please, let’s move on. I have a plan. You are going to hung out with the plastics and then you’re gonna tell us all the stupid things they say."

"What? You mean spy on them?"

"No. It’s not spying. It’ll be fun!"

"Are you sure? I don’t-." Y/N sighed out imperceptibly and smiled widely at Wanda, leaning her arms on the handrail and then placing her head on them, batting her puppy dog eyes at the redhead.

"You won’t spy on them, we are only going to have fun too." Y/N pushed on and broadened her smile even more, hoping Wanda would give in, which she did a few moments later.

"Okay. I will."

"Yes!" Y/N and Bucky let out in unison to celebrate, before both lifted their hands up to high-five a laughing Wanda. They resumed their walk down the stairs but after a few steps Wanda stopped her friends with worry in her eyes.

"Do you guys have anything with pink I can borrow from you?"

Y/N scoffed outrageously at Wanda and looked at her like she just asked her the most offensive thing in her world, "no."

"Yeah! What shade?" Y/N couldn’t help herself and emit a small snort at Bucky’s enthusiasm, opening their Biology class door and walking in.

"And I’m telling you- Miss Harkness has a big stick up her ass." Bucky scoffed and grunted, closing his locker forcefully, eliciting a soft chuckle for his best friend.

"She does not. I find her funny."

"Just because you have a bigger stick up your ass." Y/N laughed heartily at Bucky’s comeback, leaning her back and head on the lockers before getting ready to deliver a witty counter back, that, sadly, never left her mouth.

"Why don’t you try to take it out? We won’t have to worry about things catching fire all the time." Kate walked by the two best friends with Cassie and Natasha on her trail, laughing at her own joke and subsequently making Cassie and Natasha join her with loud cackles too.

"Oh yeah. Hold on- do you want me to take yours out first?" Y/N smiled politely at Kate, leveling her with a challenging look and lifting her right eyebrow up a moment later, but the plastic just scoffed and walked away. "Bitch." Y/N murmured as she closed her eyes to calm herself down, but her peace was short lived when Wanda came sauntering towards them with a big smile on her face. "Oh no, too much happiness for this hellish environment."

"Sorry, I just- I met a guy in my Calculus class."

"Wow, calculus. You’re smart." Y/N nodded at Y/N in surprise, lifting herself off the lockers to walk out of school.

"Why are you taking that class? Are you trying to punish yourself for something bad you did?" Bucky asked alarmed, eyeing Wanda like she just grew two heads.

"No, I’m pretty good at math."

"Oh, honey, I’m so sorry for you." Wanda shook her head with a small smile at Bucky and shrugged, "anyway, let’s talk about the juicy stuff- who is he?"

"Travis Jarvis."

"What?! No, that’s a big no." Y/N shook her head alarmed, stopping Wanda before she could keep walking and looking into her eyes in warning. "You need to stay away from him."

"Why?"

"He is Kate’s ex boyfriend." Bucky clarified and Y/N nodded in affirmation, Wanda’s frown only deepening.

"Okay? They broke up, right? I can-."

"No. You can’t do anything. He was her property and you can’t touch what was hers."

"But-."

"No, honey. She will eat you alive. You are the prey and she is the predator."

"The apex predator." Y/N clarified, eyeing Kate talking with Cassie and Natasha in the parking lot.

"You guys are just exaggerating."

"Oh no, we’re not." Bucky shook her head with widened eyes, fear glinting into his irises.

"Someone touched Kate’s lacrosse stick in the locker room last year. That poor girl got transferred. To Europe." Y/N watched Wanda swallow visibly and tried to reassure her, feeling pity at her frightened expression, "if you really want to do this, we will support you, but Kate won’t have to find out." They resumed their walk out of the school but before they reached the big doors, they parted ways to not rise suspicions from the plastics.

"And they have this book, this ‘Burn Book’, where they write mean things about all the girls in our school."

"Wait- ooh- ooh- what does it say about me?"

"You- you’re not in it." Wanda lied and looked down at her hands.

"What? Those bitches." Y/N exclaimed outraged, Bucky chuckling from the couch in Y/N’s garage.

"She gave me a pair of shoes for me to wear."

"Oh, show me!" Bucky got up from the couch in a second and pushed Y/N out of the way as he run towards Wanda, making her fall on the couch with a fond, exasperated chuckle.

"Hey guys, what are you gonna wear to the Halloween party this Friday?" Wanda asked curiously, catching her two friend’s attention from their textbooks. Like every other Wednesday afternoon, they were studying at Y/N’s house, the only day Wanda would hung out with them since Kate had her archery practice, but that question plagued her mind and prevented her to focus on her homework.

"Nothing. We’re not going." Y/N stated simply, focusing her attention back on her textbook.

"Why?" Y/N sighed quietly under her breath at the question and gave up doing her homework for now.

"Because we’re not invited. The plastics never invite us to parties."

"But screw them, we have so many funny activities Friday night." Bucky smiled and nodded at Y/N, who smirked back at her friend knowingly.

"Don’t look at us that way. We’re not sneaking in their parties. A nerd from the science group sneaked into one of their party once. We don’t actually know what the plastics did to him, but he didn’t show up at school for a month and he refused to tell what happened that night." Y/N shrugged and flipped a page over on her book.

"I claim that he got tied to a chair in Kate’s garage and they frightened him for life." Bucky butted in and lifted his hand up, but then placed it on his chest and looked at Wanda in sympathy, thinking back to that guy.

"But it’s fine. Go to that stupid party. You will tell us what happened on Monday."

Y/N and Bucky were in the middle of their scary movies marathon, watching a scary movie they hadn’t had the chance to see yet and chewing on popcorn from time to time. "He is gonna catch her, you see." Y/N stated with a knowing voice as she grabbed a few kettle corns to eat.

"Shhh." Y/N and Bucky had their eyes glued on the screen, waiting for the jump scare to happen but they relaxed as soon the woman in the movie did too, as nothing happened. About 3 seconds passed before the two best friends jumped up in fright when the monster caught the woman in the movie a moment later, before jumping up from the couch again in fear a second later while screaming at the top of their lungs when someone opened abruptly Y/N’s garage door, making Y/N threw the popcorn at them.

"Holy fucking shit! Wanda!"

"Sorry." The redhead closed the garage door and trudged into the room with tears running down her face, sniffling under her breath and looking at her friends in sorrow.

"What happened?" Bucky immediately sat up and guided Wanda, with her makeup now ruined by her tears, on the couch.

"She kissed him. In front of me. She told me she was gonna talk to him for me but then she kissed him." Wanda explained after she calmed down from the hiccups, a few tears escaping her eyes again as she explained to Y/N and Bucky, making the two best friends look at her pitifully.

"That’s who Kate Bishop really is. A fucking egocentric cunt." Y/N stated after Wanda finished speaking, looking in the distance with an anger glint burning behind her eyes.

"Now I see why you hate her so much." Wanda lifted her head up and looked at Y/N in her eyes.

"Because that’s what she always does. When we were in middle school, she told everyone Y/N is-."

"BUCK! Not now."

"No, I know the story. You were in love with Kate and you burned her backpack when she didn’t feel the way." Wanda explained as she wiped her tears with the back of her hand, smiling gratefully at Y/N when she offered her a Kleenex. "Thank you."

"That’s what she said? Really?" Y/N asked outraged with fire burning behind her eyes, scoffing and lifting her legs up on the couch to hug them closely when Wanda nodded tentatively.

"That’s not what happened. Let me explain it to you." Bucky sat up and grabbed a box under a drawer and placed it on the coffee table. "With dolls."

"Ugh, Buck, can you not?"

"She deserves to know the truth!" Bucky countered back to Y/N sternly, eyeing Y/N hard and lifted the top of the box only when Y/N sighed out dejected and hugged her knees closer, resigned to listening to Bucky explain the story, "Y/N and Kate used to be best friends in middle school."

"What?"

"I know, right? Shocking! Anyway, they were inseparable. One day, they gave each other these friendship pets and Y/N put this pin on hers to come out to Kate." Bucky pointed to the rainbow pin on the fluffy pet, "Kate was happy Y/N came out to her and put the same pin on hers for support, because- she used to be human." Bucky stated, making Y/N smile at his joke, "a few days later, Kate confessed to Y/N she liked a boy in their class named Kyle. Y/N, of course, supported her- they were best friends. They went to a party and when it was time for the spin the bottle game, Kate was afraid Kyle liked Y/N more, so when he spun the bottle and it landed on Y/N, Kate kissed Y/N in front of everyone abruptly and then brushed it off saying things like ‘I knew she would let me kiss her, because she is a dyke and completely obsessed with me’." Y/N rolled her eyes when Bucky tried to imitate Kate and making the two dolls he had in his hands kiss, but didn’t interrupt him, eyeing Wanda quickly and finding her completely focused on Bucky, "they had a really bad fight and stopped talking. But Kate, the bitch that she is, brought that pet everywhere she went. Y/N heard her making everyone say hi to the pet and call it Sissy Liz, that was a code name for ‘obsessed lesbian’. She was basically making fun of Y/N and everyone knew except Y/N. So during chemistry class she lit that pet on fire to get rid of it. Kate’s backpack caught slightly on fire and Y/N got expelled."

"So when you got home you couldn’t explain why." Wanda finished with a pensive tone, already looking at Y/N in sympathy as all the pieces of the story fell onto place.

"Yeah. And Kate got away with it." Bucky finished with his story and placed everything back in the box, scoffing under his breath.

"I’m so sorry you went through all of that."

"It’s in the past now, Wan. But now you see Kate for who she really is. Now you know she is not your friend. We are your friends. And we’re gonna make her pay."

"That bitch deserves a lesson." Bucky butted in and high-fived Y/N, while Wanda looked at the two confused.

"Yeah, do you want your happy ending with Vis?" Wanda nodded, her eyes already filling up with tears as the image of Kate kissing him in front of her appeared in her mind, "then we’re gonna have a fucking revenge party." Y/N smirked widely at her friends before sprinting to her laptop to start working, while Wanda and Bucky decided to watch a movie. About an hour later she hung a white sheet on the wall, turned on her projector and cleared her throat to grab her friend’s attention. Bucky stopped the movie and both Bucky and Wanda looked over at Y/N’s presentation while Y/N stood beside it with a focused frown on, "so, here’s the plan. We need to take Kate from off her throne. Targeting all the things around her she cares the most. First thing first. Her perfect body." Y/N pointed to the first point on her PowerPoint projection, making both Wanda and Bucky look at her weirdly for how much effort she put on that presentation.

"Wow, talk about dedication." Bucky joked but Y/N waved him off and continued.

"Then putting her best friends against her. And last but not less important, making Vis dump her. Questions?" Y/N looked at her small audience and lifted her right eyebrow up in question, pointing at Bucky, who lifted his hand up.

"You remind me of my first grade teacher. She looked like Satan." Bucky snickered at his own joke and at Y/N staring at him unamused. A few seconds later Y/N grabbed the first thing she had within her reach and threw it at him. "Ohw! Throwing your tubes of paint at me is not nice."

"You should be glad it wasn’t an hammer." Y/N deadpanned with an hard stare directed at Bucky and lifted an eyebrow up defiantly. A few seconds of silence wrapped around them into the garage before the three of them let out loud cackles.

"I have a question." Wanda lifted her hand up after she calmed down and waited for Y/N’s full attention, who nodded after wiping away a few tears that escaped her eyes, "do we have to do these things in succession or-."

"Not really. But I think destroying her perfect image would be the logical thing to do first." Y/N shrugged, turning her head around and staring at the words projected on the sheet as a pensive frown rolled over her features.

"It would definitely make her go mad. Turning her friends against her would definitely come subsequently." Bucky added with a small nod as he leaned back on the couch and stretched his arms over the top of it.

"But how can we do that?" Y/N furrowed her eyebrows pensively and stroked her chin gently, wracking her brain for a good idea to start with their plan. The three teenagers spent about 5 minutes thinking in silence, all staring into space and humming from time to time as they discarded a few ideas. Suddenly Y/N sat up from the coffee table and lifted her hand up in victory. "I got it. Okay- this Thursday we have that stupid celebration for her win as the Spring Fling Queen last year. We can start with that."

"Where is the celebration?" Wanda asked, still getting used to all these school activities.

"On the football field." Bucky explained to Wanda when Y/N didn’t answer right away as she stared at the ground, thinking over a plan of action.

"Oh I got it! Oh this will be amazing- we are gonna fucking hit her with hydrants and drench her in front of the whole school. She will be furious." Y/N explained out loud happily, proud for coming up with that idea.

"Oh I would definitely cry in front of everyone." Bucky nodded with fear in his eyes, looking into space as he probably imagined the scene, and Y/N rolled her eyes good-naturedly at her friend.

"How the fuck is that possible? We splashed water into her fucking face and she transformed into a model? I had my feed full of Kate stroking her boobs with that stupid sexy face. And she even created a new trend. Are you fucking kidding me? Ugh." Y/N punched Bucky’s locker in frustration before leaning her forehead on it, making her best friend gasp at her.

"Hey! Don’t hate on my locker."

"I’m sorry. But our plan had a really shit start. We only made her more popular." Y/N lifted her head up to stare at her best friend in apology before leaning her forehead back on the cold surface with another frustrated groan and closing her eyes to calm her nerves but a rustling sound of paper beside her ear made her lift her head back up and meet Wanda’s eyes instead, eyeing the bar she was eating. "What’s that?"

"Oh, that’s actually my lunch. I need to study before my test, that will be after lunch. I don’t have time to eat so I’m using this bar that my mom used to give to people in need in Sokovia. It helps you ingest all kind of nutrients and vitamins. She gave it to people starving to help them gain weight fast." Y/N was certain that if she was in a cartoon a lightbulb would’ve appeared on top of her head and lighted up as a devilish idea popped into her head.

"Wan, I think you gave us inspiration for step 2 of our plan." Wanda stared at Y/N’s face erupting in a big, mischievous grin and stared at her in confusion, waiting for her to clarify. "You’re gonna make Kate believe these things are used to loose weight in Sokovia instead. In no time she will have to say goodbye to her perfect body."

"Damn girl, I love when you’re such a dick." Bucky chuckled and bumped his shoulder with Y/N’s one, who just shrugged with a fake humble smile before chuckling evilly under her breath.

"Holy shit! Kate just bumped into me on her way to class. I was so shocked I didn’t even register her calling me an idiot. Shit- those bars are starting to work." Y/N sat down in her chair in class and sighed when it luckily didn’t start yet, meeting Wanda’s and Bucky’s eyes with her own widened in bewilderment.

"Yeah, I noticed it too this morning in the parking lot." Bucky nodded with a proud smile, winking at Y/N mischievously.

"Yeah. Yesterday she was so pissed-off she yelled at Natasha and Cassie all the time. Cassie is afraid she hadn’t ‘crapped’ in two weeks." Wanda grimaced in worry and recalled how brutal Kate was being with her best friends the days prior.

"Perfect. That’s just perfect. She is starting to crumble!"

"Buck stop trying to set me up with that girl in your class. I’m not interested." Y/N repeated for the umpteenth time to her best friend as she closed her locker, groaning in frustration when he tried to protest, again.

"I would be surprised if she is interested in you." Kate scoffed as appeared from behind Y/N and snickered at her own joke, making her three friends that followed her around do the same. Y/N fleetingly met Wanda’s eyes over Cassie’s shoulder before moving her eyes onto Kate, staring at her proudly of her insult. She took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"Well, I guess you definitely need to pull a surprised face. I like to people. You’re not the only one good with her mouth in our school." Y/N countered back cheekily, lifting her eyebrow up in challenge as an evil smirk appeared on her lips. She could swear she saw Kate blush, but her angry brain was definitely pulling jokes on her.

"Pft, bullshit."

"Wanna test it out?" Kate imperceptibly faltered in her stance as she swallowed quickly, but Y/N didn’t notice it.

"Y’know what I think? I think you only like to show off with your mouth. I think you only use it for selling bullshit." And with that Kate walked away, purposefully slamming into Y/N and making her hit her back on the lockers behind her, as her friends followed behind her. Wanda sent an apologetic smile at Y/N as she passed by her before stopping abruptly to prevent to fall into Natasha. The plastics suddenly stopped and Wanda lifted her head up to look what was happening and her heart fell down at her feet when she watched Kate and Travis kiss in front of her. "Hm, hey babe. You should push your hair back like this." Wanda watched as Kate slipped her fingers in Travis’ hair and pulled them back, a gesture that Wanda was sure was overly sexual to spite her, "Wanda, tell him her looks better with his hair pushed back."

Wanda swallowed the jealousy she felt bubbling up in her throat and, after taking a calming breath, spoke up with a blank stare, "you look better with your hair pushed back."

With that Kate walked with Travis, Natasha and Cassie out of the school, while Wanda stayed back to catch up with Y/N and Bucky. "What a fucking cunt." Y/N exclaimed, pulling Wanda’s eyes away from the door Kate and Travis just walked out and nod at her in agreement.

"She’s such an asshole."

"We need to hit harder. Cassie is the next one. We need to put her best friends against her."

"I can’t. She is too fragile." Wanda countered back with a sad expression on her face and Y/N sighed out disappointed.

"Dude, she just forced you to compliment Travis when she knows you like him. We need to hit hard. You will end up with Travis as soon as she is off her throne."

"I’ll end up with Travis as soon as she is off her throne." Wanda repeated with a dreamy expression and Y/N grinned widely at her as she started to give in.

"Yes bitch."

"Okay, let’s do it."

"Guys, it worked. Cassie told me a lot of Kate’s secrets. Did you know last year she convinced a girl from the opposite team to not wear her underwear during a game and while they were playing she pushed her pants down and made her flash her intimate parts to thousands of people just to score?"

"That would be something Kate would do, yeah." Bucky nodded after imagining it in his mind, sipping on his tea gently.

"As much as despicable that was, we don’t need it. Anything else we can use against her?"

"She is cheating on Travis. With Ryan Perrick. Every Tuesday and Thursday in the janitor’s closet." Wanda spoke right away, not even thinking about anything else Cassie told her in the school’s bathrooms.

"What? Holy shit, that’s perfect! This way our plan will be over. You’ll see." Y/N grinned mischievously at Wanda as she clicked her cup with Bucky’s one.

"Oh and she also told me Kate is trying a new Japanese or something technique to have perfect skin. I thought it would’ve been useful."

"Yeah, it will definitely will. Buck go get that lard jar in my kitchen. We’re gonna give Kate some new, expensive Italian facial cream." Y/N spoke with a too sweet tone as her eyes lighted up enthusiastically, her best friend running into the kitchen as a snicker left his lips.

"The Queen Bee just got dethroned." Y/N stated with a delighted sigh after taking a seat in her History class, looking at Bucky with the same facial expression.

"Yeah."

"That’s what I call a perfect plan. Kate lost all her power." Y/N high-fived Bucky enthusiastically before eyeing Wanda weirdly as she applied lip gloss on her lips. She shrugged it off and smiled once again at the girl, "hey, are you free this weekend? My art exhibition is this Friday."

"This Friday? Oh no, I can’t. I have this thing with my family. We already have tickets. I’m so sorry." Wanda looked remorseful at Y/N for just a moment before she turned back around and continued touching up her makeup happily, looking herself through the small mirror in her hand.

"Yeah, you really look sorry." Y/N eyed Wanda and scoffed, shaking it off and looking at Bucky, who shrugged at her.

"Do you want to watch a movie tonight? We are watching another scary movie. I love watching Y/N pee herself from the fright." Y/N turned around in her seat and punched Bucky on his shoulder, who chuckled happily at his mocking, but Wanda kept staring at herself in her mirror, not looking at their friends once.

"Oh, I can’t tonight. I have plans with Cassie and Nat."

"But the plan is over." Y/N furrowed her eyebrows confused, but Wanda just shrugged as she sat up, Y/N and Bucky looking at her confused.

"I know, but I want to have fun with one last strike. I’ll see you tomorrow. Kisses."

Y/N and Bucky stared at Wanda appalled and watched her walk away, Bucky waving unconvinced at her before shrugging at each other as their professor showed up a moment later.

"Oh God."

"You dirty, little liar." Y/N exclaimed as she walked towards Wanda with fury burning behind her eyes.

"I’m sorry! I can explain."

"Explain what? That you forgot to invite us to your party?"

"You know I couldn’t invite you. I had to pretend to be a plastic."

"Hey, hon, this is not pretending anymore. You became a plastic too. Cold, shiny, hard plastic." Y/N scoffed with a roll of her eyes and went to walk away to join Bucky, waiting on his bike, but stopped and turned around to send a withering glare to Wanda, clearly not over with the conversation yet. "Did you have fun with your new awesome friends? Had some fantastic shots and just had a great overall time with each other’s awesomeness?" Y/N mocked Wanda with an overly sweet tone, watching as a frown appeared on her face, but she couldn’t care less if she hurt her. She was done with her shit.

"Y’know what? You made me do this shit for your own 8th grade personal revenge, do not blame me."

"Ah shit, at least me and Kate know we are mean. You only like to play the victim for your own good."

"You know what?! It’s not my fault you’re like in love with me or something." Bucky gasped loudly as he put his hand on his chest while Y/N froze on her spot with an annoyed expression on her face.

"Oh no, she did not."

"What?! You see, this is the problem with you plastics. You think everyone is in love with you when news flash baby, everyone HATES you. Including Vis, that after dumping Kate, he still doesn’t want you. You are a mean girl, just like Kate. Here." Y/N threw a rolled up paper to Wanda and walked away with a loud scoff, "you can have this. It won a prize."

"And I want my pink shirt back!"

The next day Y/N and Bucky strolled into what they couldn’t call a school anymore. People were fighting with papers scattered all over the floor and on the walls. They eyed in disbelief what was unfolding in front of them and dodged a few girls pulling at their hair as they finally arrived at Y/N’s locker, where a paper with a picture with her and Bucky was attached on it. Y/N picked it up with her eyebrows furrowed curiously before anger boiled under her skin at the words written under the picture, "Y/N, the pyro-lez?!"

"Bucky is too gay to function." Bucky read out loud and Y/N gasped outraged.

"Hey! I only can say that." Y/N slammed her hand with the paper on her thigh and assessed the caos that was still taking place in the hallway. Girls in the whole school were fighting. Two of them were slamming another one on the lockers on their right, other two were trying to punch another one in the face, one was trying to bite another girl on her ear. It was a mess. Bucky screeched loudly when a girl got thrown right beside him and he cowered behind Y/N, who rolled her eyes somewhat amused at his behavior. "There she is. The new Queen Bee." Y/N spoke purposefully out loud when Wanda walked beside her and both stared at Wanda hard, narrowing their eyes at her when she tried to wave at them, but the principal’s voice booming over the hallways interrupted her. Y/N noticed a smug Kate Bishop standing beside him with her arms crossed and she instantly knew this was all her fault.

"Every girl in the gym. NOW!"

"Okay, who’s next? Oh Y/N, go on." Y/N smiled at her teacher and walked up the makeshift stage, looking one more time at the paper with the apology she wrote on it and prepared to speak up.

"Oh this will be awesome. Maybe she will lit something on fire." Kate spoke up from the crowd, making everyone laugh at her joke, while Y/N bit the inside of her cheek and balled her paper up, throwing it on the ground.

"Okay, I have some apologies to make I guess. I have a new friend, she is a new student. And I convinced her it would’ve been fun messing up with Kate Bishop’s life. I had her pretend to be friends with her and then she would come to my house after so we could laugh about all the dumb things Kate said. Oh and we gave her some bars that would make her gain weight and then we turned her best friends against her. What else- oh yeah- and then Wanda- oh you know my friend Wanda, right?" Y/N pointed to the redhead on her left, making everyone stare at her a few moments before focusing her attention back on herself, "she told him Kate was cheating on him and then she convinced him to break up with her." The anger appearing on Kate’s face was the peak of Y/N’s week, but she kept going with a proud smirk on her lips, "oh and we switched lard for her face cream." Y/N chuckled softly under her breath, "but then it all went to shit because apparently Wanda is just like Kate Bishop. So the apologies are for me." Y/N flipped the bird to Kate and instead of falling into the crowd like everyone did before her, she hopped down the makeshift stage and walked out of the gym and out of the school, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion when she turned around and noticed everyone else was following her. Well not exactly her, but apparently Kate and Wanda fighting a few feet from her, also walking out of the school. She then exited the school and crossed the road to go to Bucky’s bike and wait for him there. She leaned her butt on his friend’s bike and watched Kate standing in the middle of the street fighting badly with Wanda but after a few moments everyone gasped loudly when they saw some stupid student run Kate over with his car.

Luckily Kate only suffered from a back and neck injury, but she was overly fine. Despite that, Y/N had to fight against her guilty feelings. If she didn’t let her hatred for what Kate did to her take over her, Kate wouldn’t have been run over by a car. She knew it was stupid thinking that, but she couldn’t help it. After a long chat with Bucky, he convinced her it wasn’t her fault. None of that was her fault. And luckily Kate was okay. They also stopped talking to Wanda, who went back to being ignored and eat in the bathroom, but the two best friends didn’t gave a shit about her. She was a bitch to them and she deserved it all. After a strangely calm month, the Spring Fling finally rolled over. Y/N had to endure a lot of convincing from Bucky, but after trying for the umpteenth time, she finally gave in and went with him as his plus one. She chose a purple suit that, as Bucky stated ‘hugged her in all the right places’, while Bucky chose a classic black one. "Damn Buck, you almost look straight tonight."

"Bitch, you know I will never be. Here put the flower you so nicely gifted me in my pocket."

"You are supposed to do it to me, not the way around, dude." Y/N reasoned with a chuckle but grabbed the white rose from Bucky’s hands nonetheless and did what he asked her to, before smiling widely when he pulled another white rose from behind his back and placed it in her suit pocket too.

"Let‘s go break some hearts." Y/N laughed heartily at Bucky’s joke and let him pull her out of his house and into his car, jamming to loud songs as they drove towards their school.

"Holy shit."

The party was already in full swing when they entered the gym, now all decorated for the Spring Fling, and Y/N and Bucky stopped at the entrance to take over the room, their eyes watching people dancing on the floor, drinking at the tables or smoking under the bleachers. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Are you kidding me? There’s no way I’m going through this hell without being drunk." Y/N deadpanned with a serious, almost scared face, causing a small laugh to escape Bucky’s lips before he shook his head and pushed her towards the table where punch was on.

Wanda, after making up with Bucky, let him lead her to Y/N, finding her dancing with a few guys and girls from the A.V. Club. She watched her a few moments before taking a big, grounding breath and then tapped on Y/N’s shoulder, watching her turn around and noticing she still had the piece of crown she threw at her after winning in her hand, and with an hopeful tone she asked, "so- friends?" She batted her big doe eyes at Y/N and patiently waited for Y/N’s answer.

"I don’t know, are you still a bitch?"

"No." Wanda smiled softly at the girl and immediately shook her head, her gesture making a small grin grow on Y/N’s stoic face too, instantly calming her nerves down.

"Then we’re cool. C’mere." Y/N chuckled and circled her arms around Wanda, hugging her close for a few moments.

"I don’t know how is that possible, but Kate apologized too, in some twisted and confused way in the bathroom." Wanda told Y/N with a still perplexed expression, her mind still reeling from that moment.

"Oh really? I would’ve loved to witness it. Where is Vis?"

"It didn’t workout. He is with a girl from his science class now." Wanda told Y/N with a resigned shrug and Y/N caressed her shoulder gently in apology.

"Oh I’m so sorry." Bucky butted in, caressing Wanda’s shoulder too, who smiled at her friends gratefully.

"It doesn’t matter."

"We can always make up a plan to make him pay." Y/N joked, giggling at Wanda when she widened her eyes and shook her head furiously.

"No, no, no, no. I’m done with revenge."

"That’s fair." Y/N nodded still giggling and circled her arm around Wanda’s shoulders, Bucky hugging her torso from the other side.

"Besides, I already forgot about him. I just want to have fun with my friends tonight."

"That‘s it, bitch. Let’s go have another drink." Y/N smiled widely and pushed them to the table where all the drinks were, but Bucky stopped her and pulled her and Wanda to the dance floor instead.

"It can wait. Let’s go dance now, bitches!"

"No! I need to drink. Wanda is your dancing buddy from now on." Y/N chuckled as successfully sneaked away from Bucky’s hands and waved through the sea of people to finally walk towards the table where the spiked punch was, grabbed a red cup to fill and took a sip of the strong drink as she leaned her ass on a random table to catch some breath, not noticing she stopped at the table where Kate was sat in. "Hey." Y/N smiled awkwardly at the black haired girl staring at her just a few feet from her and waved at her with her free hand.

"Oh, hey Y/N!" Kate was definitely high from medications if her hooded eyes were anything to go by, and Y/N still smiled awkwardly at the plastic, watching as she blinked a few times into space before struggling to grab her fancy cup and trying to drink from it, only to huff out in frustration when her collar prevented her to.

Y/N sighed out loud and debated with herself for a few moments if she should help Kate or not. A few moments later she made up her mind. She wasn’t a monster. "Fuck it." Y/N whispered under her breath and sat up, walking over Kate and placing her red cup on the table before grabbing Kate’s glass from her hands and sliding gently between Kate’s slightly open legs to let her drink easily and prevent it to spill on Kate’s dress, "here, let me help you."

Kate stared at Y/N gratefully and drank softly from the cup, never moving her eyes away from Y/N. Y/N suppressed an entertained smile by biting on her bottom lip at Kate rolling her eyes slightly back in delight as she drank, "thank you."

Y/N nodded with a soft smile and stared into Kate’s blue eyes for just a moment then started to move away from her, but she just had the time to move to the side from Kate’s slightly open legs before two hands grabbed her waist and pushed her down, making her sit on Kate’s lap. "O-kay."

Y/N smiled awkwardly down at Kate, who stared back at her with a dopey smile while her arms circled around Y/N’s waist, making her gasp softly under her breath at the sudden gesture. "Hm, you smell nice."

Y/N tapped with the palm of her hand the top of Kate’s glass before moving it on top of Kate’s head and tapped her hair gently when Kate leaned her head as much as her collar allowed her to into Y/N’s neck and breathe her perfume in, an awkward smile stretching over Y/N’s lips, "thanks, I guess?"

"You look nice too. I love purple." Kate leaned her head slightly more into Y/N’s neck and hummed softly as she hugged her tightly.

"Kate, what is this?" Y/N couldn’t help but ask after staying awkwardly into Kate’s arms for a few seconds, staring at her seriously and almost regretted using an harsh tone when she noticed the vulnerability swirling into Kate’s blue eyes when she pulled away to stare into her own Y/E/C irises.

"It’s me missing my best friend. I’m sorry I treated you like shit. I really liked spending time with you."

"Kate, you’re high." Y/N shook her head to prevent her brain to fall for the girl’s games again, putting a metaphorical space between them. She wasn’t going to let Kate fuck her up again.

"Maybe. My pills make me like everyone. Can you believe I said I liked Lili’s dress? And she is wearing orange! Who the fuck likes orange?"

Y/N shook her head and breathed out a small laugh. Kate didn’t change so much. And she somehow loved it. "Are you okay?"

"My back hurts a bit, but with you here with me, I feel better."

"Okay, you are definitely so fucking high." Y/N stated with an amused laugh and looked at Kate when she pulled away to observe people dance distractedly. She found herself getting lost in taking Kate in, from her perfectly styled hair, to her light make up, then moving her eyes down her green dress and appreciating it hugging her body as it was starting to become lean and muscular again. Luckily, before she started ogling at her exposed chest, Kate’s voice pulled her out of her inappropriate daze.

"I wanna dance." Y/N sighed out happily when she moved her eyes away from Kate’s chest a moment before she met her eyes and smiled innocently at her, nodding slightly at her.

"Are you sure you can with-?" Y/N waved her hand around her head and neck to point to Kate’s collar situation, but the black haired girl just nodded slightly at her with the same dopey smile.

"Yeah, dummy. It’s here for a reason." Kate laughed loudly at her own joke that Y/N clearly missed but laughed unconvinced alongside her before widening her eyes comically when Kate patted her butt a few times, "get up, we’re dancing." Y/N sat up slowly as her mind still reeled for Kate’s gesture, so much lost in her head she just let Kate grab her hand and pull her towards the dance floor where Bucky and Wanda were still dancing. What the fuck?

"Look who finally decided to join us again! And she brought fresh meat!" Bucky exclaimed, screeching loudly when Kate went towards him and took his hand to dance. Y/N watched Bucky carefully spun her around before the two started dancing back to back in a someway funny way. It was weird watching Kate so care-free but Y/N liked it nonetheless.

"Y/N! C’mere!" Y/N widened her eyes comically when Kate pulled on her hand and turned her around quickly, making her slam her back on Kate’s front as her arms circled her waist.

"Kate- are you-?"

"Shut up and dance." Y/N swallowed the rest of her question as nodded, before swallowing once again at Kate moving her hips to the rhythm and occasionally hitting Y/N’s butt. Was she really grinding on her?

"Oh fuck it." Y/N exclaimed under her breath at her mind reeling and let herself go on the dance floor for once, thanking the alcohol in her system for that. After a few beats of dancing seductively with Kate, she grabbed Wanda’s hand when she stood in front of her and danced care-freely to the EDM music blasting loudly through the speakers in their gym.

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piratefishmama · 1 year ago

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Beware The Thorns | Part 9

Robin Buckley made it her job to know things about people in Steve Harrington’s life. That was something she’d always done. Ever since they’d been bound to chairs back to back in a basement, ever since Steve had goaded, pushed, and insulted their captors, spitting vitriol, forcing them to focus entirely on him leaving her with barely a scratch, a sore jaw from where one of them had slapped her across the face but that was it.

Steve had been hospitalised for over a week with his injuries.

And in that time, the senior Harringtons had laid waste to the entirety of the group that’d held them captive, and had forged an odd little friendship with Buckley&Buckley, a P.I husband and wife duo who were endlessly grateful for Steve’s sacrifice to ensure their daughters survival.

A friendship that continued for years after the senior Harringtons passed their empire onto their son in their passing.

She wasn’t even supposed to be there, she’d taken it upon herself to investigate something to prove that she could. To prove that she was ready to join her parents in their work. Wrong place, wrong time. But it gained her Steve, he was worth the nightmares.

Which was why she spent her Monday morning going to a coffee shop she didn’t actually enjoy on the east side of the city, drinking overpriced black ‘artisanal’ sludge, which usually she’d be an advocate for, fuck Starcucks an all that jazz, but this place?

Dumpster fire masquerading as a ‘hip new coffee joint’, ran by a douchebag in a beanie with a moustache that didn’t fit his somewhat misshapen potato sack face shape.

All to meet with one very pretty young lady, who seemed to actually enjoy the coffee the shop served.

“I need to know where he’s going to be.” A very pretty lady, who held her coffee cup to pursed, painted red lips, bright blue eyes on Robin’s face. “And I need to know if he’s already locked down a new client, I’m assuming these are things you’ll know… as his friend.”

“Mmnnn, I mean. You’re not wrong.” She took a sip then placed her cup back down on the cork coaster provided. “I do know where he’s going to be, and I do unfortunately know his hook up schedule, but what makes you think I’m going to tell you any of it? As his friend, it’s kind of my job to keep that information on lockdown, isn’t it?”

Robin liked Chrissy. She’d always liked Chrissy, same as Robin always liked Eddie, they had similar vibes. Wearing a mask of thorns to protect the pretty petals from those who’d do them harm. She didn’t know how they knew each other, didn’t know enough about Eddie to make assumptions as to where they’d met, but Chrissy was the closest thing Eddie had to a best friend, as far as Robin knew.

Chrissy was the only friend that Robin could get to without it immediately getting back to Eddie. Eddie’s little game friends, Gareth, Jeff, and Dougie? They’d tell him the second she reached out, would sound an alarm and she’d never get anywhere near him, claiming they were ‘being good friends’, but Chrissy was smarter by far. Chrissy was just enough of a best friend, to know when Eddie happened to need something that he didn’t want to admit to needing.

Just enough of a best friend to be able to tell him he was being an idiot, and not just immediately side with him.

Like Eddie’s very own Robin.

“It is, but I’m hoping that I’m right in the fact that he’s probably been miserable since he ended things with Steve, right?” It all kind of hinged on that. On Eddie’s real feelings behind his little mask. “Steve’s pretty miserable… it’s depressing”

“So miserable he’s sent you out to track Eddie down? Or are you doing this sniffer dog bit on your own initiative?” Robin opened her mouth to reply, but Chrissy continued as if she hadn’t asked a question, asking another instead, “what makes you think he’d be miserable?”

“Which question am I answering here?”

“Mmmmm second one please.” Chrissy took another sip, so nonchalant. She had an energy about her that Robin felt strangely familiar. A countenance Robin had only ever seen in one other person.

“I know he was acting, I know there are sides to Eddie that Steve never saw, that Eddie never let Steve see—”

“Like all the sides of Steve that Eddie never saw?” Robin tensed, brow furrowing “oh unclench, Robbie, the Cunninghams and the Harringtons go back generations, pretty sure Steve and I would have wound up in some stupid arranged marriage had the Harringtons not been against it.” Robin didn’t like not knowing things, why did she not know that? How had she missed Chrissy of all the potentials to have told Eddie about Steve’s life? How did she not know that Steve ought to know Chrissy? “I never said anything to Eddie and I don’t intend to, but… why should I let Eddie be dragged into such a messy life? There’s so many fish in the sea, Robin, why should I let my best friend be dragged down by a shark?” At least now Robin knew why Chrissy’s personality, her eerie calm felt so familiar.

She was Steve in prettier packaging.

“I’m at a disadvantage here, aren’t I?”

“Oh very much so, but you’re very cute so I’m letting you off.” Robin blinked once in surprise, then did her best to quell the pleasant buzz that thrummed through her veins at the not-so-subtle compliment “Please answer my question, why should I give you what you want?”

“He… Steve… He loves him, Chrissy… Steve has done bad stuff, don’t get me wrong, he’s done awful things to people, but I’ve never seen him like he is whenever Eddie’s around. It’s like he’s drowning in the dark and Eddie’s just… a light at the end of the tunnel, an if Eddie loves him too, which I think he does… why should they be apart?”

“And now the real reason, not the Hallmark movie one?” Chrissy raised a brow in boredom.

“I… I don’t know, Chrissy. I don’t know. I don’t. I’m running on best friend fuel. Steve needs him, or at least needs closure from him, and as his best friend I’m duty bound to try and get that for him. I’m sure you don’t love Eddie’s job. Right? He wouldn’t have to do any of it if he just—”

“Gave up his freedom and all the work he’s put in to establish himself in his field for a slim chance at happiness with one of the most dangerous men in the city?” Chrissy leaned back in her chair, one leg crossing over the other as she crossed her arms over her chest, coffee cup left to rest on the coaster.

“Better the devil you know though, right? Wouldn’t you rather him be with someone you know won’t hurt him… than with someone you don’t?” Chrissy’s eyes finally left Robin’s face, dipping down to the right as she thought about it.

Eddie wouldn’t be alone for long, he’d find a new client, he’d be on someone else’s arm, and he’d continue his life unchanged with a risk of being hurt.

Or… or he could have what he wanted.

Chrissy knew what Eddie wanted. They’d spent more than enough evenings on his couch with ice cream mooning over Steve Harrington and while she’d have loved to tell him that he was trash, he was a monster in sheep’s clothing… he just wasn’t. So she’d kept quiet.

She let Eddie pine away for a life he could have if he took a chance, never telling him why he shouldn’t.

“What if this new client wouldn’t hurt him?”

“Let’s be real Chrissy he’s probably already planned on reaching out to Tommy to fill in the gap in his schedule, you and I both know what kind of trash heap Tommy Hagan is.” An easy cash grab that’d probably make Eddie feel like shit. “Do you want to risk Eddie’s happiness on a what if, or do you want to tell me where he’s going to be so Steve can be there and sweep him off his feet?”

In retrospect, Robin should have probably been suspicious when Chrissy sat up straight, when she looked at Robin as if she was assessing her, and she definitely should have been suspicious when, with a short “Alright then,” Chrissy plucked a pen from her bag and a little notepad, and jotted down an address and a time. But with a small victory in her hands, and a front row seat to Chrissy’s perfectly perky… ponytail retreating for the door with their business concluded.

She really wasn’t thinking all that hard.

#PirateWrites #BewareTheThornsFiclet #No Upside Down AU #Steddie #Escort!Eddie #Shady!Steve

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anonymousewrites · 2 months ago

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Of Two Worlds (Book 3) Chapter Twenty-Two

Fushiguro Megumi x Half-Curse! Reader

Chapter Twenty-Two: Moon

Summary: Megumi and (Y/N) reach the end, and a new dawn breaks.

Mouse Note: We have reached the end of Of Two Worlds. Wow. What a journey. So many years have passed since I started this series, and I love all these characters so dearly, and their story has finally been completed, and their lives stretch out before them. A special from me, the author, will come out on Monday, but the actual content and chapters of Of Two Worlds is over. I am so sad to say goodbye to MC and Megumi. But I am so thankful for all the support I've gotten through the years. Thank you to everyone!

“Domain Expansion: Malevolent Shrine.”

“Domain Expansion: Solar Eclipse.”

Sukuna’s domain cracked the moment it tried to compete with (Y/N)’s. His shrine was demolished, flattened by the expanse of endless night sky flying out from where (Y/N) stood. The edges of the domain seemed unseeable. Across the battlefield, Itadori, Nanamie, Uraume, Maki, Nobara, and Ren were pulled into Solar Eclipse. Ren’s eyes widened as her game was brought to a sudden halt, and everyone’s eyes went to the center of the domain where (Y/N) stood. There were no buildings to obscure their views of her. There was only the Moon.

(Y/N) stood on a raised dais, the flames of the sun covered by the expanse of the powerful moon. Behind her sat a throne of silver, and she didn’t even have to glance back to sit down. She sat down, leaned back, and gazed down at all the people below her.

“I told you. I am the strongest,” said (Y/N) as Sukuna felt his cursed energy fading as he stood within the expanse of her power. She raised a hand.

Sukuna’s gaze went to Ren and Uraume—standing so far away in the night sky. Their eyes widened, and Sukuna’s cold, dead heart beat in his chest. Ah, yes. The two people he loved and lost and would lose again because of the constant battle, the constant vying for strength, the constant violence.

“Curses always come back,” said Sukuna, the statement not to (Y/N) but to them, to tell them he would find them again—

“Then perhaps in the next life you’re learn to love without seeking violence alongside it,” said (Y/N). She flicked her wrist. “Lunar Cycle: Blood Moon.”

Sukuna felt Cleave be summoned within him, and cuts erupted across his skin. The moment blood hit his tattoos, they glowed silver, burning into him.

“Sukuna!”

“No!”

Uraume. Ren.

And then the stars themselves were blurring through him, the moon was rising above him, and the light—the sun—of his life was being blotted out by the Moon as his own blood turned against him and silver light destroyed him from the inside out.

I love you. Next time…I’ll be—

Sukuna’s body hit the ground, and the last thing he felt was two pairs of hands catching him.

(Y/N)’s domain faded, and she floated to the ground where the dais had been. Megumi moved to her side instantly, and the other sorcerers’ eyes widened. Sukuna was dead. They had survived him. Even the moon had lost its red glow, returning to silver. The edges of the sky lightened as dawn approached. The dawn of a new era was arriving.

“Sukuna…” Uraume knelt by his side, gazing at his empty expression. “Ren, is there—”

“No.” Ren gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut. For once, her emotions were clear to the world. Her grief was written on her face. “There’s nothing to do. He’s gone.” She let out a long breath as she held Sukuna’s hand. “And I…tire. There is no solution to this, just the same cycle.”

Uraume traced Sukuna’s face with their hand. “Then we break it.” They stood and turned to (Y/N). The other sorcerers had still hung back, but (Y/N) met their gaze evenly. “Kill us.”

Ren understood and rose to stand beside Uraume. “Yes.” She saw the only road ahead—she always did. “Kill us.” Give us a chance to come back with him anew.

(Y/N) nodded. Her katana appeared in her hand.

“Maki,” said Ren. Maki looked at her. “Don’t forget our deal.”

“I won’t,” said Maki.

“If you win and sorcerers rule once more, make sure they treat those who are different better. It’s the only way forward.”

Ren smiled. “Good.” Solemnly, she reached out and took Uraume’s hand.

(Y/N) raised the katana and slashed. Two more bodies fell beside Sukuna. It was over.

“We did it,” said Itadori, letting out a breath of shock. “He’s gone.” Unable to hold himself back, he turned and hugged Nanami. Tears rushed to Itadori’s eyes. They had lost so many, but they had won. Grief and relief mixed in his heart.

Nanami held him close and looked at (Y/N). She looked back. As soon as Itadori no longer needed him, he would go to her. He smiled as he hugged Itadori. But she also had someone else to protect her.

“(Y/N).”

She looked at Megumi. He reached out and took her hand. (Y/N) looked down and grasped it securely before looking at him properly.

“We did it,” he said.

“We did,” said (Y/N). She smiled. “We’re alive.”

The first rays of dawn touched the world. The rest of their lives was just beginning.

“Ieiri has almost finished healing everyone,” said Megumi, emerging from within the building where she had hidden and worked. “She said your reverse-cursed technique saved a lot of them from lifelong injuries.”

(Y/N) nodded from where she stood at the edge of the rooftop and looked out across the world that had lived to see another day.

“How are you feeling?” asked Megumi, reaching out to touch her hand.

“Different,” said (Y/N). “So many people are dead.”

“I know,” said Megumi softly. Choso, Yuki, Higurama, Hakari…Gojo. There was nothing more for him to say. Yes, life would move on, but people were still gone. People had died.

“Life is going to be different, isn’t it?” said (Y/N). “You and I—curses. The jujutsu world being rebuilt.”

“We have a chance to make it different. We have to take that,” said Megumi. “And we’ll be able to do that together.” His grip on her hand tightened. “Because we’re together forever.”

“We vowed it,” said (Y/N), holding his hand and looking at him.

Megumi gazed at her, at the curse marks, the sloping horns, the beautiful silver eyes… “(Y/N)—You know that you mean the world to me, don’t you?” He lifted her hand, and (Y/N) looked at him. “When I thought you were dead—that you had left me alone in this world—it destroyed me. I didn’t even think for a moment whether or not I would survive giving you my heart. I just wanted you to live. Because I—I love you, (Y/N). I love you.”

(Y/N) lifted her hand to Megumi’s cheek and smiled at him. He had no heart, but he could feel himself growing flustered as she gazed at him.

“I love you, too, Megumi.” Those were all the words she had to speak. He understood the rest in his soul. After all, theirs were bound together by the very emotion they had just admitted. (Y/N) leaned in and rested her forehead against his. “I love you very much.”

Smiling, Megumi leaned in and kissed her. (Y/N)’s hand on his cheek went to his hair and pulled him closer. Megumi’s hands went to her waist and pulled her closer. Finally. Finally sung their souls.

The Moon and the Shadows were together once more, reunited and in love.

“Nanami-san—”

“We’re beyond that, (Y/N),” said Nanami.

Behind him, Tsumiki and Megumi were hugging each other tightly, finally getting to just be siblings after everything that had torn them apart. Nobara and Itadori were speaking to one another while Maki and Inumaki sat beside Yuuta as he recovered in a cot.

“I’m a curse, now,” said (Y/N), looking at him.

“No. I said it before, and I’ll say it now. You could never be a curse,” said Nanami. “Because you’re a blessing.”

(Y/N)’s heart clenched at the words, and she hugged Nanami tightly. “I’m sorry you had to fight again.”

“For you? I’d do it a million times over,” said Nanami, holding (Y/N) tight. “You’re family.”

“You’re the only dad I ever needed,” said (Y/N), hugging him.

Times would be hard. The world was going to be different. But they had one another and would face the changes together. Over Nanami’s shoulder, Megumi smiled at (Y/N). She smiled back.

“I’m a curse now. Megumi is, too. But we’re not monsters. We have our minds. And our…heart. Sukuna is gone, and you are, too. We’re going to guide the world to be better. It won’t be perfect. But we have to chance to try, and I’m not giving that up.

“But…we miss you. We wish you were here so that you could live instead of fighting. The world asked too much of you. If you…get another chance, I hope you get peace. And joy. And love. You deserve it.

“And Megumi and I will be waiting. Even if you never see us and never recognize us, we’ll be here, keeping the world safe for everyone who gets a chance at peace.”

(Y/N) rose from where she knelt before two gravestones. “Goodbye, Gojo. I hope you find peace.” She looked from the stone labeled “Gojo Satoru” to the one right next to it. “Together.” The name “Geto Suguru stared back.”

“Are you ready?” said Megumi, forming from the shadows.

(Y/N) nodded. “I am.”

Megumi looked at the graves. “Do you think they’re alright?”

“I think they’re together,” said (Y/N). “And they were apart for so long.” She looked at Megumi. “Like us.”

“Do you think they’ll get another chance?”

“I hope they do,” said (Y/N). Her solemn expression shifted into a neutral one. “Is it time to get to work?”

“Yeah,” said Megumi. “Maki has been out recruiting, and Utahime is running point with getting the government to stop trying to figure out how to turn cursed energy into a military weapon, but we have a lot more people with unlocked cursed energy looking for guidance. Nanami is getting through the files, and Nobara and Itadori are rebuilding.” He smiled. “But they’ve organized a proper celebration first. To remember that we’re alive.” He took their hand, and the shadows absorbed them.

(Y/N) let out an honest laughed and leaned back into Megumi as they watched Nobara and Maki dance—Nobara had wanted to, and Maki couldn’t say no to her. At the side of the room, Yuuta and Inumaki were chatting. Tsumiki was sitting calmly at the edge of the room, smiling at all these new people who cared about her and her brother. Ieiri and Utahime were drinking and way too close to be normal. Nanami sat with Itadori as Itadori explained in-detail all the battles he’d been in while waiting for Nanami to recover. If (Y/N) was his daughter, Itadori was his son, that was for damn sure.

(Y/N) looked up at Megumi. The moonlight shone on his face, and (Y/N) traced it. He looked down at her and smiled. He leaned in, and she met his movement in a kiss.

The world was a complicated place. It would always be changing. Years would never be the same. Nothing stayed the same. Curses evolved. Kings fell. Sorcerers changed society. One day a cursed object was a protection against curses and the next it was the catalyst for monumental change. Maybe one day someone would pick up such an object and things would begin again. Or maybe it would simply fade and decay, the curse’s spirit ready for a new life. Maybe one day three people would meet one another in a time of peace, and their strength, intellect, and loyalty would serve them for a better life. Maybe one day a boy with white hair would meet a boy with black hair and form a bond that no one could come between.

But until those possibilities even begin to emerge and even years after, the night would remain. It brought the Moon and the Shadows together. (Y/N) and Megumi’s souls were there to stay. Their love changed only in its growth. They were beings of two worlds with love as the bridge—forevermore entwined in the night.

Taglist:

@snowy-violet

@tsukikoxo

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hazel-eye-coffee-shop-girl-blog · 5 months ago

Note

maybe like a

daryl x reader but he finds her really drunk in (alexrandia)

or finding reader in the woods (meeting her for the first time) and she’s really hurt and he practically saves her

Happy Monday Everyone! Sorry I am taking so long to get to these writing prompts that I ask you all to send my way. I am so appreciated of each and ever one of them, that I want to give each one time to create something special, or at least passable.

I hope @dreamtofus I did you justice in your ask, I really had a lot of fun writing a Daryl x Reader, it was my first, but hopefully not my last. I know I still need to work on getting the 'voice' of Daryl down, but for a first attempt, I don't think it's too bad.

Please let me know what you think, reblog, likes are always welcome. This story is my own, so please don't steal it. All mistakes, typo are mine, I do apologize. I do a few rounds of edits, but things just slip through, so be kind when passing judgement.

Details:

Daryl x Reader, told mainly from the reader POV, but we do get a small POV of Daryl. A flashback is had, some pop culture references, not sent in an particular timeline of the show. Seeing how the reader meets Daryl for the first time, how he saves her not once but twice, and the reader letting her guard down around Daryl.

Ment to be a one shot, but if you all like it enough, I could be persawded to write more, with these two.

Triger warnings: nothing really, its sweet, angst.

Word count: 2,000+

You knew never to go out this late in the day for anything, even a ‘simple’ supply run would never be done this late; you should have just waited until tomorrow. But No, you have to prove something to yourself? No, you knew you had survived this long, almost two years now, in this fire burning world. Your smarts, being a country/farm kid growing up, and your love of reading anything you could get your hands on help you survive this long.

So, you need to prove something to the members of this group that found you a few weeks ago and brought you into their community? Maybe, you're sure they are still assessing you, and seeing if you're worth the trouble of being another mouth to feed and another body to protect.

The leader, Rick, seems nice, standoffish, but also a protector that if you do get to stay with them, would be loyal and a big brother figure for you. Maggie, is also in that camp of big sister energy that would kick anyone’s ass for you.

No, if you were to put money on who in the group is still questioning if they should take you in or not, that would be the redneck hunter Daryl.

Daryl was the one that came across you while you were scavenging an abandoned drug store just a few miles south from where the group’s camp was. He was the one that held a crossbow aimed at your back, telling you to drop the antibiotics that there was a baby in his camp that needed it more than you.

Flashback

“Don’t make me say it again, drop the drugs.” A gruff, gravelly voice, from behind you, fills the silence of the space, and makes you freeze like a deer in headlights.

Getting up from your crouch position, you slowly turn, with the bottle of pills in your hand. Sweat from the fever you're currently trying to shake and not the Georgia heat drips down your face. If you hadn’t already heard him speak, you would have thought you were seeing things. There standing in front of you is a man, dressed all in black, his dark brown hair long and slightly covering one side of his face, while the other side is slightly covered by the crossbow that is currently aimed at you. His lean but muscular frame in a stance that screams hunter, his tone arms never wavering, so you know that he will wait you out, he has the discipline to do so.

“Fuck…I can’t…” you reply desperation, and exhaustion taking over. You know that you should be scare, you should be worried that he’s going to let go of the trigger, and put you out of your misery, but, you can’t give a fuck at this point.

“Will you at least aim for the head, if you're going to kill me.” You quip leaning on the shelving next to you, feeling yourself get weaker.

This seems to throw off the mystery man, as he hesitates for a second, “what?” he questions, not lowering his bow, but moving his finger from the trigger.

Grabbing something from your back pocket, a purple bandana, you wipe the sweat from your forehead. “Look, I can’t come back as one of the dead.” your voice ragged. “You could give me at least that courtesy. Because otherwise, I will find you, and eat you.” You joke, giving your best Lim Nelson voice at the end.

The mystery man doesn't seem to get the reference to that line, as he gives no reaction to the idea that you, as a walker, could somehow find him on purpose and eat him.

“It's a joke…it's from…never mind.” You toss the bottle of pills towards him, and slide down to the floor and wait for either the exhaustion, fever, or this mystery man to take you.

Your mind is fuzzy, and either this guy will leave you alone or not. With your eyes closed, you can hear the rustle of him putting the bottle in his bag, and then the sound of him coming over the counter and towards you. His footsteps stop and you can feel him staring down at you. “What?” Uou question, keeping your eyes closed.

“Whatcha doing?” he questions. “you bit?”

“Waiting for a bus, what does it look like? I am sick you ass, and I am exhausted.” Your frustration taking over. You open your eyes to find him crouching down and bringing a hand up to your forehead, “What the hell, dude!” You slap his hand from you and push yourself up and back from him, scattering bottles around you. “Just leave, you got what you wanted.”

“You didn’t answer me, are you bit?” He grumbles back, harsher this time, with authority. Annoyance is now apparent, and his blue eyes that are staring at you seem to bore into your soul.

“No, I am not bit, just sick. With the quick change in weather we had, my body...why am I explaining this to you….” you start and stop yourself from going into detail about how back when the world was somewhat ‘normal’ any drastic change in the weather always sent you into a quick cold for a few days.

Ringing out your bandana, you run it over your face and down your neck. What you wouldn’t give for some cold water, a nice cool lake to dive into. Your mind drifting to the fantasy of cooling waters is cut short when your bandana is taken from you and quickly replaced with a cool wet red one.

“What the…'' you're about to protest, when the feeling of the cool water hitting your skin shuts you up. You see him, pouring a bit more water on the rag and running it down your bare arms.

He doesn’t say anything, after wiping both your arms, he gets the rag wet again with cold water and hands it to you, “take it.”

You do, and wipe your face and then cover your forehead with it. You close your eyes and let the cool water seep through your pores, it's something, it won’t cure you, but it's something for now.

“Here.” His voice brings you back, and you open your eyes to see him holding out some of the pills and his water jug.

Your hestent, wondering why he’s being so nice now? He keeps his hand out for you to take the items, and after another second of thinking you finally do. Swallowing the pills and taking the smallest of drinks, no need to piss him off by downing his water, you hand back the jug. “Thanks.” You mumble.

He nods, and is about to speak when another voice from the other side of the counter breaks the slice, “Daryl, you in here?”

Present

You would soon come to find out and meet Rick Grimes, the man attached to that voice, and after seeing you in the state you were in that day, and asking himself if you were bit. Would then ask if you wanted to come with them and join their group.

Now here you were, somehow stuck back in that same drug store just a few miles from camp. Nighttime has settled in, and you can’t leave, with the horde of walkers outside, too many to kill on your own. Even if you could somehow make a path through, you know yourself, and your fighting abilities, you were good, but not that good.

Luckily the doors were still in good shape, and the horde didn’t know you were in the store, so they were just passing by. This has been going on for 20 minutes, and it didn’t look like they were going away anytime soon.

You had checked the backdoor, but it must be barcade on the outside, so here you sit, with your back against the wall, behind that same counter, waiting for the time pass, and hoping no one from the group notices that you're gone and starts to worry.

Running through your interactions with everyone earlier, you don’t think anyone would have seen you slip out, and you never told anyone of your plan, so you should be good, you try and reassure yourself. Stacking up the discarded bottles again in a precarious tower, what else is there to do?

“What are you doing?” a voice, gruff, deep, deadpan startles you and the tower tumbles down.

“Shit!” you yell, looking up you see Daryl leaning over the counter looking down at you. “How did you….” you start to question. Wondering how he found you? Why was he here? and how did he get in?

He strums his fingers on the counter, as if he can read your thoughts, “I saw you slip out from the gates after dinner. Waited for a bit, but when it was getting dusk and you weren’t back, figure I go out and find you.”

“So you tracked me like what...a dear?” You question, not sure if you should be flattered or creeped out by it.

“No…a dear would have been a bit more of a challenge, you were easy to find.” He jokes, and gives you a quick smile, to your glare and giving him the finger.

“Ha,ha,” you quip. getting up, you walk over to the counter, “how did you get in? sounds like that horde of walkers are still out there?” You question, looking over his shoulder, you can just barely make out the crowd still moving.

He looks towards the doors and then back to you. “AC unit on the roof, the air return drops down in the office on the other side of the store.”

“Well aren’t you just the MacGyver of the post-apocalyptic world?” You tease. He cocks his head, giving you a questionable look at your reference. Letting a sigh, “Sersious, dude, what did you watch as a kid? or did you not have a tv?”

“Come on.” He brushes off your comments, and motions for you to follow him. “What were you thinking of doing a run this late?” He questions, waiting for you to grab your gear and walk over to him.

Shit, you were hoping not to have to tell anyone why you went on this run. There was a reason you went on your own, and Daryl, especially telling Daryl was not on your list of something you wanted to do. “Umm…it's nothing….stupid really…” you start and stop yourself, wishing he would take pity on you and drop it.

Daryl wasn’t going to let you off with that answer. After all he did come and risk his ass in saving you. Even though it wasn’t a big risk for him, he knew he could find you, and get you back to camp in one piece, but still, he wants an explanation. Leaning against the counter with his arms crossed, he is not moving until you start talking. “Come on, out with it.”

You let out a sigh, “Fine” you say, and start digging in your bag, “this.” You state and pull out your purple bandana.

Daryl knew that was yours the moment he saw you pull it out of the bag. He remembered it, taking a corner of it in his hands, the fabric ruff from the dried water/sweat. “You came back for this?” He questions, wondering why risking your neck for a piece of fabric was so important.

Slightly embarrassed, taking Daryl’s tone as stupidity or bewilderment, you pull back the bandana from his fingers and stuff it back in the bag. “Look, I said it was stupid, okay, lets just drop this and go.” You quip, feeling your cheeks start to go red of embarrassment. You start to head towards the office.

The feel of Daryl’s hand on your wrist, stops you from taking any more steps from him. “Don’t walk away from me.” His voice is commanding, but not in a harsh mean way.

The feel of his callus hands in your slightly worked but not as worked as his send a shiver up your spine. You’ve only known him for a few weeks now, and most of that time you were coming down from a cold. So why was the feel of his skin next to yours, him coming to find you, and the thoughts of him judging you make your head spin and your heart slightly race. “You're going to think it's stupid” you mumble, keeping your eyes and body away from him.

“Try me.” He replies, letting you keep your eyes off him, but still holding you in place.

You let out a breath, “it was my dad’s, or at least one of them. He was a mechanic before the world fell, and he always had a bandana in his back pocket. This was my favorite color.” Your voice slightly cracks at the end. thinking about your dad, your family, life before the world was on fire, it hurts too much. You feel the tears start to slightly fall. “He was gone before…”

Pulling you back and into his arms, laying your head on his chest, Daryl says nothing. He wraps his arms around you, surrounding you in a cocoon of him. The feel of him, his strength around allows you to let go. Sobbing, cries that you have been holding in for so long let go, and pour out of you and into his chest. He’s silent, running a hand up and down your back in comfort.

You're not sure how long, but when you feel there is nothing left you pull back to see the tear stain circles on his black shirt. “I am sorry.” Your voice shakes, bringing a hand up to wipe your face.

Daryl takes his red bandana out from his back pocket, and wipes your cheeks. “Nothing to be sorry about.” He replies. Gentle wipe away the last tear from your jaw. He knows what it's like to lose your family, to be on your own. He wants to tell her he understands that she shouldn't be embarrassed by wanting to hold onto a piece of her past. He gets it, in more ways then she will ever know.

But now is not the time. Whatever he’s feeling for her, whatever he thinks could happen between them, the reality is, that it won’t. This pull that she has on him, it will pass, it has too. Stuffing the red bandana back into his pocket, and his feelings aside. He lets go of his hold on her and starts walking towards the office.

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maccreadysbaby · 2 months ago

Text

Project: Killcode

batfamily + oc insert

tw: none

wanna read more? here’s the table of contents!

want to read the first fic in the hundred days series so you understand what’s going on here? here it is!

I am in pain writing my boys like this

part thirty-two

❝ EFFORT ❞

MONDAY — JULY 30 — 5:02AM

AFTER AN EVENTFUL DAY OF NEVER COMING OUT OF BELLAMY’S ROOM, BENTLEY WOKE UP ON MONDAY MORNING LAYING BACK TO BACK WITH HIM.

And the first thing he thought about was Bruce.

He wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him everything so bad — about the parties and the nightmares and the teachers and Tyler and Chloe and the (maybe?) Secret Keeper and his father. He wanted to just lay it all out at his feet so he didn’t have to deal with it alone anymore… but he couldn’t.

Because if he did, Bruce would come get them and take them home, and someone else would move into the dorm. He’d never see any of them again.

He had to show Bruce that he could do this no matter what kind of problems he had — he was thirteen, and he could deal with his issues by himself. He didn’t always need his dad or his brothers to swoop in and do it for him; he was capable. More than capable.

So for now, he decided, not a Wayne in the world would know a thing. Would it be easier on him if they did? Sure. But getting whisked home to live a life of solitude while every other teenager in the world did whatever they wanted didn’t sound like an ideal situation. Plus, he was pretty sure he’d have lost his mind if he didn’t stop homeschooling when he did.

It was okay. He was okay. Everyone was okay. Everything was okay.

He’d just focus on school — it was a good enough distraction. He did have seven classes to survive, and nine friendships to maintain.

(Or eight, if… Asten didn’t want to talk to him.)

So he decided that’s what he was gonna do. Just be a teenager, and try his best to forget about all the existential dread stuff.

He woke up, blocked the number his father had called him from, and left Bellamy’s room to go get ready.

It was only a little after five, so he was able to get into his room and do everything he needed without waking Asten up, which was nice — because he wasn’t sure where they stood. They hadn't talked at all since the fight, but Bentley did end up in bed arrest in Bellamy's room, so he guessed it wasn't really either of their faults.

He grabbed his bag and all of his things out of his room and left, shutting the door softly behind him. Should he go back in Bellamy's room? Or just sit and the dining table and do something silent?

That moment was about when his phone vibrated in his hand.

The name on the text message was Chloe Singh. (He'd changed it almost immediately after she gave it to him.) It said: Hey, meet me at the fountain at 530?

He didn't even have time to think about replying before a second one came: Or at breakfast, if you're not a psycho that wakes up at 430 for school like me.

Bentley hummed to himself, typing a quick response.

Just text me when you're ready. I'm already dressed and all.

He hardly had time to look away before another message blipped onto the screen. Oh, okay! I'm ready then, haha.

With a faint little smile and a shrug, Bentley made sure he slid his keycard into his phone case and made for the door, leaving the dorm with his schoolbag in the dark.

When he made it down the stairs and the several sidewalks it took to get to the fountain with the willows, Chloe was already there in her uniform with her bag. Her blonde hair was tied up halfway with a black ribbon, and pin-straight so it looked extra long. She glanced back at him when she heard him approach and sent him a friendly wave, which he returned.

Were they technically friends now? How many times did you have to cry in front of someone before you became friends?

With that on his mind, Bentley made for the bench she was on, dropping his bag near his feet and taking a seat next to her.

"Good morning," She said quietly, eyes focused on campus staff that seemed to be moving something into the art building across the way, past the willow trees.

"Good morning," He replied.

"Listen, I just... wanted to apologize for Saturday night," She sighed, looking down at her lap and deflating slightly, a stark comparison to how confident she looked in class or the halls. "I had a massive breakdown and it was really weird. I word vomited so many unnecessary details."

Bentley shook his head, glancing over at her. "Don't apologize. We all have our moments. I, in particular, have had at least thirty since I moved into Redwood."

Chloe glanced at him, furrowing her brow. "I never imagined Bruce Wayne's heir would have moments."

"I wasn't always his," Bentley shrugged, forcing his father's voice out of his mind, focusing on Chloe's brown eyes that were watching him. "Anyways, it's no problem. Breakdowns suck, but they suck even worse if you're alone."

She blinked and looked away, then back. "That's why I wanted to say thank you," She continued, glancing down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers. "For being there for me. I... can honestly say I don't have anyone else, as pitiful and attention seeking as that sounds. Living a double life is really hard when everyone only knows the fake part."

Bentley watched her breathe in deep, then blow it out. "Anyways, not to get all pitiful. I think I have the rumors handled on my end... my roommates were the only ones who knew I was going to meet you, and they swore they wouldn't say anything. What about yours?"

"Only two know I was gone, and they won't say anything," Bentley shrugged. "I think we're safe."

A beat passed.

"Thank God," Chloe exhaled, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "I'd never forgive myself if a chimp like Tyler Abbott got ahold of information like that. He'd have the entire campus believing whatever he wanted about us in, like, ten seconds."

Bentley didn't reply.

"Hey, you okay?" She continued, lowering her volume just a little. "You seem preoccupied."

Bentley shook his head in an attempt to shake himself back into the present and out of whatever routine of self loathing his mind was trying to put him in. "Yeah, just pretty drained. I've been really stressed lately."

"I'm sorry..." Chloe mumbled, and Bentley shrugged.

"It's not your fault," He continued, waving her off. "What about you? Were you okay after the other night?"

Chloe shrugged. "Same... just kinda drained. Emotions and their stupid, stupid existence have a way of doing that. But I'm feeling okay now. Practice for cheer tryouts starts after school today, so I pretty much am required to be okay."

A beat passed.

"So... did you and Layla end up having fun at the dance?" She questioned, looking across the way at the willows, a little hint of something he couldn't quite place filtering through into her words.

Bentley shrugged. "It was okay, but I... didn't go with her. I went with my roommates. To see the band that was playing."

"Oh," Chloe nodded to herself.

Another few moments of quiet passed.

"I... wanted to ask you something," Chloe started, turning to face him slightly on the bench, getting this... he wasn't sure. Embarrassed sort of look on her face. "You can totally say no if you want to; I know I'm not the easiest person to stomach."

"What is it?" Bentley questioned, turning toward her a little, too.

Chloe breathed in and out. "I know I was really mean and weird and stuff when we met, and I don't have any clever excuses to talk myself out of that. But I still... wanna be friends with you, if you want."

Bentley watched her nervously tuck a piece of hair behind her left her, her brown eyes straying down to the bench they were on.

"Yeah... I'd like that," Bentley replied, watching her anxiously pick at her nails. "But you... I don't want it to be some kind of ploy for your mom. If we're gonna be friends, I just... want to be friends. Not for anybody else."

"A hundred percent," Chloe nodded. "She won't have a clue I'm even talking to you anymore. She seems to have moved on in her searching for my perfect future divorce since I blew it with you already. Which means we're in the clear."

Bentley hummed in acknowledgment, glancing at her for a moment more before looking out at the trees again. "Can I ask an awkward question?"

"Sure," Chloe shrugged. "Can't be more awkward than me word vomiting my entire life's story, and my mothers."

Bentley found it in himself to chuckle at that. "I was just... wondering. Since you were only kinda acting, did you... mean what you told me? In class?"

Chloe glanced over at him quickly, her brow furrowed, before she seemed to realize what he meant. Her face flushed pink and she looked the other way. "That you're hot? I-I mean, yeah, I guess..."

Bentley didn't say anything.

"God, why can't I talk to you?" She mumbled, resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her head into her hands with a nervous little laugh. "It's so weird. Being, like, real. I always know what to say when I'm pretending."

Bentley shrugged. "Maybe you should... not pretend."

"I can't do that!" She said suddenly, sitting up. "My mother would disown me if I even thought about acting contrary to how she wants."

Bentley hummed. "How does she know what you act like here at school?"

Chloe looked up at him, a cringe spreading across her face. "She's the assistant Dean. She lives on campus."

Bentley blinked. "Oh..."

"Yeah..." Chloe shook her head. "I literally can't get away from her and her prying eyes through the school-day. That's why I wanted to talk to you now, before the day starts."

Bentley couldn't even imagine his father watching him like a hawk like that. When he first went to the Wayne's to, quote-on-quote, destroy them, he could hardly fathom the anxiety caused by the fact that his father may have possibly been watching. But Chloe's mom, putting her up to something out of greed, punishing her when she failed, watching her to make sure she was perfect... maybe they weren't so different after all.

Bentley didn’t say anything for a few minutes.

“So, are you liking it so far, here? I’ve heard Gotham is way different from New York,” She questioned. (How many times was he going to be asked that question?)

He shrugged. “New York is really cool. I like it here. It feels more… alive.”

Chloe nodded, a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “There’s so much that goes on, it's hard to get away from it all. That's why I like it so much here.”

Another beat passed.

“So, if it's not off limits, what are your powers?” Bentley questioned, glancing over at her. “I haven’t seen or heard anything about them.”

“Oh, I…” Chloe started, looking off at the trees ahead of them. “I… uh…”

Bentley could recognize discomfort when he saw it. “You don’t have to tell me.”

“No, I just…” She trailed off, breathing deep and holding it for a second, then exhaling. “I don’t have any.”

Bentley furrowed his brow. Wasn’t Redwood only for metahumans?

“My sisters do, and I have the genes for it, I just… they… haven’t appeared yet. My mom says that sometimes it takes a lot to make them show up,” Chloe shrugged.

Bentley vaguely remembered hearing something about that when he was dealing with the whole Dr. Keene disaster -- it was like how Nico’s super speed only started to show up after he learned he was adopted, and only really showed up after he got kidnapped and put in a big machine that messed with his DNA. He remembered that metahumans finding their powers was… usually due to trauma.

He wasn’t quite sure what that said about the rest of the Redwood students. But maybe it was a good thing that Chloe didn’t have hers.

“I guess we’ll just have to see, then,” Bentley shrugged.

“I guess so…”

They fell into a comfortable silence, looking out at the willow trees in front of them.

Okay.. maybe Bentley had ten friendships to maintain.

When breakfast came around, Bentley sat across the table from Asten.

They didn’t say anything to each other. Bentley looked over at him a few times, but he was always talking to Rockie, or looking down at the table, or across the room. Valor was watching the both of them -- Bentley noticed his gaze a few times, calculating, contemplating -- but when Bentley’s eyes met his, it always switched to a supportive smile, faint enough to go missed by everyone else but present enough to be a little comforting.

Bentley and Asten didn’t talk at lunch, either.

And when music theory came around, Asten only spoke to Rockie, and Bentley only spoke to Vera, and in free period, Asten sat with Rockie, and Bellamy and Valor sat with Bentley. It was…

Weird.

He went to practice soccer with Varian and Koa, and they talked about nothing and everything. He went to dinner, where Asten deliberately ignored him even though they were within whispering distance from one another. And then he did his homework at the dining table, and listened to his roommates talk, and hung out, and texted Chloe, and went to bed without saying anything to his best friend who was sleeping one bunk away.

As wrong as it felt, Bentley was the one who’d been right. Asten was a hypocrite and all the lovely things Bentley had said in his anger fueled haze. So, for this one time, for the first time in his life, he wasn’t going to allow himself to apologize.

If Asten wanted to talk to him, Asten was going to have to put in the effort.

And as far as Bentley could tell, right now, he didn’t care very much.

tag list that never works lmao

@fleur-alise @sarcopterygiian @gayboss-too-close-to-the-sun

@xiaonothere

@skylathescholarly @flyrobinflyy

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writtenonreceipts · 1 year ago

Text

Even More Random Prompts

Some may be similar to each other, I tried to play off of the prompts to create more of the same vein. Shrugs maybe not the best list, but I think it’s fun. Please do not repost. Reblogs welcome.

find other prompts here

I can explain. This isn’t as bad as it looks.

Sometimes bad decisions are the only ones we’ve got.

Rise and shine, it’s time for the worst day of your life.

I’ll bring the vodka, you bring the bad decisions.

Well, no one told me that.

No, we are not keeping the cat.

It’s too early for this.

Is that coffee?

It’s five in the morning, did you expect a warm welcome?

Sorry, all I can provide is sarcasm.

Look at that dog. We need it.

You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?

You’ve got to be kidding me.

I promise, that was an accident.

Is that a flip phone?

I’m being crafty, shut-up.

There is no such thing as too much glitter.

I have a glue gun and I’m not afraid to use it.

Give me all the dogs, I don’t care.

I need a blowtorch, a roll of duct tape, and marshmallows.

Let’s go on an adventure.

Please tell me you know how to change a tire.

Is that band-aid pink? // With unicorns. // That’ll do.

Wake up asshat, we’ve got crimes to do.

How do you manage to trip over everything?

Here, let me help.

Don’t worry, it’s going to be alright.

Didn’t you meet them on the internet?

Your cat is a judgmental bitch.

I can’t even keep a goldfish alive, how can I handle this?

Let’s make some mistakes.

How about a drink? // Of alcohol or rat poison?

Under no circumstances are you to talk about politics, religion, or your favorite ice cream flavor.

We are in the trenches of a family reunion--survival is the only thing that matters.

Whoever said ignorance is bliss never had anxiety.

What do you mean you don’t know how to ride a bike?

For the record, I totally would have helped with that.

Why would anyone live here?

Have a sticker for your troubles.

Don’t call me that.

You’ve got something on your face.

Can you zip this for me?

What are you wearing?

I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t it.

Fine then, I won’t say anything.

That was a wonderful accident.

It’s Monday. Again.

Time is funny like that, it really likes screwing me over.

They’re an artist without a canvas

That’s a lot of caffeine.

Well, that’s a little disturbing.

How much have you had to drink?

I only have one love, and that is mozzarella sticks.

So, where were you planning on getting the tattoo?

I thought you hate needles. // Yes, but I like spiting my family more, I’m getting the damn tattoo

You need me more than you hate me.

A lot of people want to kill me. I am very proud of that.

This is the worst day of my life.

C’mon, it’s just family dinner, how bad could it be?

Please don’t kill me, I have a good reason for this.

Care to explain the glitter lotion?

I supported the entire self tanning industry when I was a teen.

I don’t trust myself with this information.

Why do you always choose violence?

My car, my rules. We’re listening to Nickleback whether you like it or not.

Yeah, the vase of dead roses really says a lot.

That’s not a cat that’s a skunk.

I brought your favorite ice cream.

Well you're about as delightful as a kidney stone.

Who the hell are you?

What do you want from me?

Hold on, I’ve got handcuffs in my purse.

Ugh, why are you covered in cheap cologne?

I’m not wearing the right shoes for this.

I’m not the one who paid three hundred dollars for a shirt.

I wanted to buy you flowers.

When a child hands you a rock, you have to accept it.

I’m sorry and I’ll never stop apologizing.

I miss you.

Wait for me, I’ll be home soon.

Are you sure about this?

Please? I brought pizza.

I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you.

Wait. Please, don’t go?

I just hope you can forgive me.

And they say dropping out of college is a bad thing

Can your fancy degree do this?

I was only arrested one time…The second I got off on a technicality

I cry at any hint of affection

Don’t judge them, they’re just really, really hungry

Is that a clown?

Why is there a llama in the yard?

I know how this looks, but it was not my fault.

Therapy’s too expensive, eat some chocolate.

Would I really lie to you? // Yes.

The last time I trusted you you killed my succulent plant.

How much caffeine have I had?--I’d rather not answer that.

Stabbing people is not a proper expression of emotion.

That was not what I was expecting to happen.

Sorry, I just need seventy years to recover from the embarrassment.

#writing #writing prompts #dialogue prompt #prompts #fanfiction #fic #fanfic #fun and games #writers on tumblr #writeblr #i have no motivation to actually write so here you go

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galway-girlatwork · 5 months ago

Text

Fandom: The Last of Us-AU-No outbreak

Rating: Mature-There is angst. Fluff at the very end.

Central Characters: Joel, Sarah, Tommy, Tara (Original Female Character)

Central Relationship: Joel and Tara

Word Count: 2,534

AO3

Please do not copy my work. If you liked it, please re-blog and tag me. Please do not steal my mood board. I do not give permission to copy, translate, or post my work to any other platform.

Music inspiration: Hold On By Chord Overstreet-Hurricane by Tommee Profitt and Fleurie. Never Not Love You by 30 Seconds to Mars. Carry You by Ruelle and Fleuire

Written for @burntheedges Roll-A-Trope Writing Challenge

Amnesia

SUMMARY:

The aftermath of a traumatic car accident leaves a family struggling with fear and uncertainty. The emotional toll weighing them all down as they try to find some normalcy which they all know is impossible until he wakes up. Vulnerability and desperate needs for the man who is the center of their lives to remember who they are and the life he had with them.

Fragile State

It was one the most cliché things that could happen. Something you hear about on the news, read on the internet. You feel bad to those it’s happened to, the “oh god that’s terrible” but then you move on with your day of mundane tasks that you are imprinted on your brain. They were just coming home from picking up dinner from some random drive thru when it happened. Some asshole running the red light, t-boning the SUV they were in, his side taking the most damage, the impact so brutal, they were surprised he had survived.

That was four days ago and before then? Life was normal. It was school, work, soccer practice, backyard BBQ’s and sleepovers. Now it was sleeping on hard cots, hospital food and coffee, unwashed bodies and constant beeps of machines that you swore were driving you slowly insane, each one, one push closer to the edge. Standing you walk into the bathroom, staring into the mirror, you notice bruises turning sickly shades of yellow and purple. The black eyes are second to the blood-filled sclera that surrounds your irises. You and your step-daughter were “blessed” as they put it, minor scrapes and bumps but your body disagreed when you did the simplest of tasks. Washing your hands was one of those tasks, they trembled under the gush of warm water, the room always slightly above sub-artic. Turning off the water, towel grabbed and as you dry your skin, light reflects along your engagement ring, remembering the night he proposed. He was nervous as fuck, not knowing if you’d say yes. Hands gripped the edge of the counter, bottom lip between teeth, hoping the pain would hold back tears. It didn’t and ten minutes later, face now washed, teeth brushed, you walk out of the bathroom and the constant beeps are back, knowing you should be grateful for them, since they marked the fact that he was still alive.

An hour later, doctor and nurses, come and gone tell you the same thing as the day before, there was no change. Tommy and Sarah texted to let you know they were on their way, asking if you needed anything. A quick text back letting them know you were desperate for Starbucks and that you would Zelle money to him. Proficient taps to the screen of your new phone, the other one lost in the carnage of your wrecked car, had money sent, email checked before you put it on the charger. Body slid into the chair by his bed, hand taking his, head resting on his forearm.

“Hey baby. Tommy and Sarah are coming to see you. She’s not happy by the way, that she has to go back to school Monday but I think it would be good for her. Thank god I have as much PTO as I do but Rick’s been really understanding, letting me know I can take as much time as I need so I can be here.” A shuddering sigh, a sniffle taken before you look at him. “Joel, I really need you to wake up. I can’t do this without you. I am not as independent as I pretend to be. Maybe I was before you but now...It’s different. It’s your fault you know, if I’d never met you and Sarah…Let’s face it babe, if I hadn’t met the both of you, I’d still be living in a one bedroom, eating out of take-out cartons. You two changed my life and I can’t imagine it without you in it. So fucking wake up.” Nothing came from the body in the bed, hooked to wires and tubes, head wrapped.

She must have fallen asleep, a hand on her shoulder, repeating your name, finally brought you out of a troubled slumber. “Tara, wake up.”

“Hey sweetie.” Standing, you hugged your step-daughter who is more yours than not. She was ten when you met her, eyes peeking up at you through a head of curly hair as she partially hid behind Joel. The two you of had been dating for eight months when he decided he wanted you to meet her. It was you had suggested pizza and Disney, wanting to make her feel comfortable in her home. Of course, you were an instant hit because how many women would cater to a ten-year-old? Four months later you moved in. Now she was fifteen, a sophomore in high school dealing with daily teenage angst and peer pressure. “How are you feeling?” Side air impact bags coupled with the fact that she always sat in the middle, meant she’d walked away with just some bruised ribs from the seatbelt.

“I’m ok. Just sore. Tara, when are you coming home? Uncle Tommy can’t cook worth a damn, I think he might be worse than dad.”

A slight chuckle rumbled in your chest. “I’ll come home tonight. Doctors were here earlier, no change, said I should go home, shower and eat real food so…”

Tommy came up behind you, giving an awkward hug and you wondered if he was taking this harder than you and Sarah. Joel was his big brother and even though Tommy could be the biggest pain the ass, it was still his brother. “He’s gonna be ok. Just give him some time. You both know how stubborn he can be.” You prayed that, that stubbornness would keep him around just a little bit longer. You wanted to grow old with him, watch Sarah go off to college, get married, have babies.

Turning, coffee taken from Tommy, you sat on the couch beneath the window, Sarah curling up next to you, phone in hand, scrolling through her Facebook, the annoying beeps taking up space in your head once more. Looking at Tommy, who was pacing like a wild animal, you asked about the job that was now on hold, him letting you know the client was more than understanding, guaranteeing they wouldn’t lose the remodel job. “Tommy, why don’t you go home. There’s nothing you can do here and the rental place dropped off the loaner yesterday so I can drive us home. You look like you are bout to lose it.”

Glaring at you, a mumbled yea was tossed over his shoulder as he left. You knew he blamed you. Not so much for the accident but for the fact that you all were in your car and not Joel’s truck. He’d been such a hurry to get home for soccer, he’d forgotten to put gas in the bemouth truck of his, so of course they took your car, the girlie car as he put it, with all the frilly things on the inside, courtesy of Sarah. Trinkets she bought you for Christmases and birthdays, things she knew you would never buy for yourself. Flowered hair ties around the gearshift, the car freshener from Bath and Body, the little flower key holder that went with the steering wheel cover. Things now lost, kinda like her husband. Feeling Sarah tense up next to her, you hold her tight, shaking your head. “He’s just scared honey. Like us and he doesn’t know how to handle it. No worries, okay?” A nod of her head let you know she understand, may not have liked it but got it.

Hours passed in silence, only broken the few times nurses came in, the look in their eyes spoke volumes if you paid attention and that was something you did. Always paying attention to every detail, it’s why you were good at your job, even though everyone wondered why you were an accountant, it was because of details and numbers. Things you knew were reliable, constant, predictable. This was none of that. A rumble of Sarah’s stomach was the clue that it was time to go, for now. “Come on baby, let’s get some burgers and get home. We’ll come back in the morning.” Nurses reassured you that if anything changed, they would call you but something deep in the recesses of your mind, you knew that call wouldn’t come tonight.

The drive home was nerve wracking, Sarah letting you know to order Doordash when she noticed how clenched hands and jaw were as you left the parking lot. “I think that’s a way better idea.” What you didn’t realize was how different home felt without him here as you stood in the kitchen, mail stacked on the counter, sink full of coffee cups and cereal bowls from the morning of, Sarah staying with Tommy.

“I’ll take care of it.” Was her response when she saw tears silently falling.

“Leave em. We can do it in the morning. Can you order while I shower? Order from where ever you want.” Gathering her close, you hugged her, a little tighter than normal but then what was normal at this point? Nothing. Not a fucking thing. It was okay though because she clung to you just as hard.

It was when you were in the shower, body on the floor, pulled inwards, hot water blasting your back that all the tears finally let lose. Gut wrenching sobs that would have frightened anyone who heard them, sounding as if your soul was being ripped out of your body. Your relationship with each other wasn’t something that either one of you had planned. It was pure coincidence that you had met each other. When the tears dried up, dehydration at it’s best, you scrubbed your body until you couldn’t take the pain anymore, it’s way of letting you know that you were still alive. Hey at least you felt somewhat human now, right?

Both of you were quiet during dinner, food was picked at until you decided you were done. It was after eleven when you both decided to call it a night, the hours from then til now, were filled with a movie that neither one of you could remember turning on. When two am hit and you were still wide awake, blanket and pillow were dragged downstairs, deciding the couch would be better, at least until he came home.

It was on the sixth day that he finally woke up, fighting the tube, panic filled eyes searching the room, one hand gripping his as the other pressed the call button. Suddenly the room was filled with too many people, and you were helpless as you were gently pushed out into the hall, door closed behind you. Sliding down the wall, the velvet ponytail holder violently ripped from your head, fingertips kneading your scalp as you waited and these days, your patience was running below empty.

Minutes felt like hours before the doctor came out, letting you know that yes, he was awake but there was a problem. Standing in front of him, bits and pieces of what he was saying sank into the gray matter of your mind. He didn’t remember the car accident. Thank god for small miracles right? But he also couldn’t remember his name, that he was married, that he had a daughter, repeatedly asking questions before the panic attack started, the need to sedate him and he was sleeping. “Come back later today but don’t bring your daughter, it can be upsetting to both of them.” The drive back home was a blur, the paperwork they’d given you on short term memory loss was still sitting in your purse, once again it was explained that it was from the TBI and it would only last a week, maybe two but there was a rare possibility it could last for months.

What the actual fuck? A million questions came up but the most important one was what would this do to Sarah? Now standing in the middle of the room you both shared, rage bubbled up and overflowed like the volcano you helped Sarah make for her sixth-grade science project. It erupted from your small frame, as one arm swiped everything from the top of the dresser, the fan picked up and slammed against the mirror, reflective glass exploding. Perfume bottles followed suit, leaving the space to smell like a cheap whore or an old woman, take your pick. Collapsing in the space, you lay there wondering who your wronged and why Karma and Fate did this now. Exhaustion must have laid claim after rage took a vacation because that is where Tommy found you two hours later.

He sat you on the bed as he took in the damage. “Sarah’s going to be home by four. She can’t see the room this way, please Tommy?” Nodding, he told you he’d clean up and have a new fan and mirror before then. Asking what caused the chaos, you told him what the doctors had said or what you could remember. “Is it permanent?”

“I don’t know.”

“Go back to the hospital. I’ll be here and we can talk to Sarah tonight.”

“Thank you Tommy. I’m sorry.” You were admitting to your part in this. You had to have some part, right? Maybe reminded him before coming home to get gas. Maybe not fighting him on driving your car so it would be you instead of him. It was a hell of lot maybe’s.

“Who are you?” His voice startled you from the far away place you’d gone while you sat in the chair next to his bed that now had the imprint of your ass on it.

“Hi Joel, I’m Tara.”

“Thirsty.”

“Hold on.” Flimsy Pepto colored cup was filled from the pitcher baring the same hue, plastic straw pressed against dry lips, he drank half before pushing the straw out of his mouth with the tip of his tongue.

“Tara? Tara? I should know you, right?”

“Yes, you should but there was an accident and things are fuzzy for you right now.”

“How do I know you?”

“We’re married. Have been. Three years in October.”

You’d wanted a Halloween wedding but he’d refused to actually get married on the holiday, said it was bad luck, so the 30th was a compromise along with the promise that you wouldn’t wear red or black, his desire to see you in white.

“I wish I could remember.”

“You will, just be patient, something you are not always good at.”

“Tell me more.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything.”

“Okay.”

Hours passed as you told him about Sarah, Tommy, the life you’d built together, his job, your job, soccer practice, Sarah’s first school dance, your wedding…conversations peppered with questions, showing him photos that have taken up almost all of the memory of the new phone that now pinged with a text from Sarah, wanting to know how he was and when you’d be home. Texting back, you let her know he was awake, still not remembering, that you’d be home soon and to order pizza, there was fifty dollars in the coffee can above the fridge, tucked behind the fake plant.

“Sorry, Sarah was asking about you and wanted to know when I’d be home.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Joel, why are you sorry?”

“That I can’t remember anything.”

“You can’t remember everything right now. Give it time baby. Be patient.”

“I must have loved you a lot.”

“You did.”

“Think I will again?”

“Yes.”

"Good."

#joel miller #sarah miller #the last of us #pedro pascal #ao3 #writing challenge

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