#orthopaedic practice

[abramarketing]

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[jtsmedicalcentre]

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[stargazer-sims]

The Art of Redemption

(part 21)

previous // next // story index

—————

"I'm absolutely stuffed. Why did you let me eat so much?"

Ginger lets out a small groan that Nikolai judges to be one part discomfort and three parts pleasure as she sinks backwards onto the pulled-out sofa bed in her living room. They'd unfolded the couch, tossed a couple of blankets and every pillow in the apartment onto it, and then changed into their pyjamas before they started eating. In hindsight, this seems to have been a wise move, because Nikolai isn't sure either of them would've had the wherewithal to wrangle the ancient sofa bed after the utterly excessive meal they just finished.

The TV is on, tuned to a twenty-four hour sports channel, and some guy who looks like he let a child cut his hair is chattering excitedly about the beginning of the major league baseball preseason. Nikolai doesn't like baseball. He's waiting for someone to start talking about hockey, and whether or not his beloved Mariners have a realistic chance of making the playoffs.

He crawls onto the sofa bed with Ginger, and essentially lets himself fall sideways until he's lying on his side with his head on the haphazard pile of pillows. He counters, "Why'd you let me eat so much?"

"You don't have to drag your arse out of bed for an early ice time tomorrow. You get to sleep it off," Ginger says.

"But, I do have to get up early. I'm coming with you."

She looks amused. "You're just going to follow me everywhere?"

"No, because that'd be weird and creepy," he says. "I'm not going to follow you everywhere. Just to the fun places."

"Right. You wouldn't think it was so fun if Uncle Stan was your bloody taskmaster."

"Some taskmaster," Nikolai scoffs. "You looked like you were having a great time this morning, and Uncle Stan didn't seem to be pushing you too hard."

"No, you're right," she concedes. "It is fun, and Uncle Stan doesn't really push me unless I need it. It's just that we all get tired by the end of the season, and I'd like to have a nice lie-in once in a while, that's all."

"It'll soon be the off-season. You can sleep in all you want after that, and whenever you haul yourself out of bed, you can call me and we can go on adventures. You know, since I'm not tied down any more."

"Oh, aren't you indeed? You still seem quite tied down to me. How many texts did your wife send you this afternoon before you turned your mobile off?"

"Ex-wife," he corrects. "Or future ex-wife, at least. I kind of lost count of the texts, to tell the truth."

He'd stopped trying to count after about the fifteenth message or so. His and Ginger's bus ride to the dance studio was punctuated with them, none of which he'd bothered to reply to, and they continued at the studio while he was changing into workout clothes. He hadn't wanted Ginger's dance session to be interrupted by his phone buzzing incessantly, so before he went to the practice room, he sent one text to Anya — Leave me alone. I'm busy. — and then turned the device off completely and shoved it into a pocket of his dance bag.

Ginger cackled like a cartoon villain when Nikolai told her what he'd done, and declared, "That'll show her. I hope she's fuming."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're enjoying this," he said.

"Well, I love a bit of drama," Ginger replied. "And you don't seem particularly upset, so I'm giving myself permission to enjoy the mental image of her getting her knickers in a twist over being ignored."

"You're an evil woman."

Ginger grinned at him. "Thank you. I do try."

They had an amazing dance session. Nikolai found that he was able to perform almost all the exercises their dance instructor guided them through. He only had to forego a few that required deep knee bends. After trying the first one, he got scared when he felt the tiniest twinge of pain in his knee. Determined that he wouldn't allow anything to get in the way of the near-perfect recovery the orthopaedic doctor had so recently assured him he could expect if he followed medical advice, he decided to err on the side of caution.

After half an hour, Ginger made him stop altogether, and their instructor directed him to some chairs in the corner where he could rest and observe the remainder of Ginger's lesson. He preferred to sit on the floor, but it was no less restful.

Watching Ginger glide her way through a complex routine, and caught up in the feelings of happiness, familiarity and just plain normalcy that being in the studio gave him, he hadn't wasted another thought on Anya until Ginger teased him about the texts just now.

He marvels at how drastically his relationship with Anya has shifted since his injury back in January, and how much he himself has changed over the past few weeks. Less than a month ago, he would've jumped to answer that very first text message, but today's version of him couldn't care less.

There's a part of him that still loves Anya, and maybe it'll be a long time before the love fades away completely, but right now his anger and frustration and the sense of betrayal he feels are outweighing any fonder sentiments he might have.

There's no way Anya could be unaware of how she hurt him. She's not the most emotionally intelligent person, and he's forgiving enough to overlook an accidental slight from time to time, but he's not ready to forgive the things she's done to him lately.

Perhaps the most perplexing and upsetting aspect of it is that he doesn't understand why. If she truly never loved him, he can accept that, but it still doesn't justify her cruelty, nor does it explain why she refuses to leave him alone. If he fell out of love with somebody, he's sure he'd find a way to let them down as gently as he could and then walk away without looking back. Why prolong their suffering or his own by providing constant reminders of what might've been?

He doubts Anya will give him an explanation for her behaviour when he's finally ready to talk to her, but he's going to ask anyway.

"Did you ever turn your mobile on again?" Ginger's question drifts into his ruminations. "You probably should, if you haven't."

"No, it's still off," he says. "But, you're right. My family might be trying to contact me. I wouldn't want to worry them. But, if Anya keeps harassing me..."

"Block her number," Ginger suggests. "You can always unblock it later if you want to."

Both their phones are on the end table on Ginger's side of the couch. Nikolai doesn't particularly want to get up, so he asks, "Can you reach my phone from there?"

Ginger obviously doesn't want to get up either. She has to roll over and then stretch her arm as far as she can, but she manages to snag both their phones. She rolls back toward him and dumps both their devices into the small blanket-covered space between them. "Mine's on silent. I'd better fix that."

Nikolai scoops up his own phone and reactivates it. As soon as it's powered up, it starts pinging, bombarding him with alerts about text messages, emails and missed calls. He grumbles, "Goddammit..."

"What?" Ginger inquires.

"There's like, thirty texts from Anya, but Grandpa called, and I missed it. I'm just going to send him a quick text to let him know I'm with you and I'm okay."

"Do you reckon Anya is going to keep texting you?"

"Who knows?" he mutters, as he taps out a message to his grandfather. "She's becoming a pain in the ass."

"Becoming?"

He taps 'send' on his text to Grandpa, and then quickly deletes the entire string of messages from Anya. "Okay, she's getting to be an even bigger pain in the ass than usual. Can you show me how to block her number?"

"Let me do it for you," Ginger says. "Nothing would give me more pleasure at the moment."

"Here." He passes his phone to her. "I give you the honour."

Ginger's smirk is positively diabolical as she taps at the screen. A minute later, with a tone of immense satisfaction, she says, "Bye, Anya," before handing the phone back to him.

"Thank you," he says. "I mean that with a million percent gratitude."

"You're welcome. But you know blocking her isn't really a solution, don't you? You have to sort everything out with her soon."

"I know," he says, "Don't worry. I've made up my mind. I am going to talk to her soon, because I want everything to be dealt with before the summer. I've got important stuff to do, and I don't want this hanging over my head."

"What have you got to do?" Ginger asks. "I thought you were going to be done with your coaching courses by the middle of May."

"That's not the only important thing on my calendar. I've got this little competition—"

"Wait... what?" She cuts him off. "What do you mean, competition? You're not even cleared to skate yet How do you expect to—"

"It's all right. Calm down," he interjects. "It's not that kind of competition. Okay, no... it sort of is. I mean, it's skating, but it's not a recognized event or anything."

"Nikolai!" She yanks one of the pillows from beneath his head and then thumps him with it. "When were you going to tell me that you haven't entirely given up competing? Does Beth-Anne know?"

"Hey!" he exclaims. He grabs the pillow and quickly rolls over. Ginger is still hanging onto the other end of it, and caught off-guard by his abrupt movement, she flops unceremoniously on top of him. "Oww..."

"Serves you right," she says.

"I swear, it's not what you think," he insists. "It's just a friendly little challenge between me and Brett. He has something to prove, and maybe I do too. And yes, Beth-Anne knows. She's not happy about it, but she knows."

"You have nothing to prove to anyone. Those six world championship medals? They say everything anyone ever needs to know."

"It's not about that," he says.

"Then, what's it about?" She gets off him, drops the pillow back onto the pile and settles in beside him again. "It's not some sort of manliness test, is it? Because you also haven't got anything to prove in that department."

"No, it's not about that, either. But, am I hearing you call me a manly man?"

"Is that what you want to hear?" she asks.

"No, not really," he says. "Not that I want to be unmanly, but every time I hear 'manly', I think of those big guys we always see at the gym, flexing in front of the mirror. The bros."

"I thought those were your type, the giant, muscly ones."

"Yeah, but I like them gentle and articulate and... clean. I'm not into anybody who uses the word 'bro' to start and finish every sentence, or who thinks strutting around in sweaty t-shirts with the sleeves cut off is sexy. Every time I see those guys trying to get attention, all I want to do is tell them to take an English class and a shower and to put on some decent clothes."

"Ooh... tell me how you really feel."

He laughs. "Sorry, but they're gross, and I'm picky when it comes to men."

"So what's your ideal man, then?"

"You know. Blond, blue eyes, quiet and sweet, showers every day and dresses nicely, and treats me like I'm the most important man in the room. Bonus points if he's cuddly. Extra bonus points if he speaks Russian."

Ginger giggles. "Basically Anya, but male and a decent human."

"Uh..." he begins, but then he realizes she has a valid point and he laughs too. "Yeah, actually I'd say that's pretty much it, with a big emphasis on the decent human part. It's probably not going to happen, though, and I think I'm done with relationships for now anyway."

"There's no harm in dreaming," Ginger says. "But I'm not about to argue with you being done with relationships for a while. You need time to recover properly from this one. And you never know," she adds, offering him a cheeky grin. "One day, when you're feeling better about everything and your life is back on track, you may get a surprise. Your cuddly, Russian-speaking muscle man might just appear out of the blue."

"I can dream."

"Indeed. Now, can we circle back to this little competition with Brett? You never did say what you think you need to prove, or to who."

"To myself," he says. "Maybe it's stupid, but I just need to know that I can do it. That I'm capable of all the things I used to be able to do. Brett challenged me, and I should've said no, but... I couldn't. He was so smug about it, like he already knew he could win."

"Do you think he could?"

"I don't know," Nikolai admits. "Maybe. It depends on whether or not I can still do everything."

"When are you going to be allowed to skate?"

"The last time I saw the sports therapist, he said he probably wouldn't clear me till May, but I have an appointment with him and with the doctor the day after tomorrow, so I'm planning to ask again."

"Would you like me to come with you to your appointment?" Ginger offers. "Beth-Anne's probably been going with you, hasn't she?"

"Would you come? I'm sure I can handle it by myself, but Beth-Anne's been with me every other time, and I feel like it'd be a lot less stressful if I had some moral support."

“I’ll be there,” she says. “I’m going to be there when you get back on the ice as well, just so you know. I wouldn't miss that moment."

"Thanks," he says. "I want you to be there. You and Beth-Anne. I don't know if I'd be okay with anyone other than the two of you watching."

"If I know Beth-Anne, she'll make sure it's only us, if that's what you tell her you want." She reaches over and takes his hand. "You'll do brilliantly, though. No need to fret over the thought of embarrassing yourself or anything like that."

"Thanks," he repeats.

She squeezes his fingers. "It'll all work out. Don't worry."

Will it? he asks himself. As excited as he is about the prospect of skating again, he's also nervous. He's never been off the ice for this long before, and he's anxious about how much skill he's lost. Not that he's forgotten what to do; the knowledge is still there. His biggest concern is whether or not his body will respond the way he wants it to. What if he can't execute all the moves, or what if falls and hurts himself again? It's more than a little overwhelming.

He closes his eyes and tries to focus on something else. On TV, a commentator is interviewing someone about curling. Nikolai's appreciation of curling is about equal to his appreciation of baseball, but the interviewer has a lovely voice, so he concentrates on that.

I'd let him read me a bedtime story.

Without intending to, he starts to drift into the strange, semiconscious state between wakefulness and sleep. He's warm and full and comfortable, and Ginger is still holding his hand. He's still aware of the TV commentator speaking, but he's starting to lose his grasp on the meaning of the man's words.

Something about rocks and... brooms?

He tries to fight the inexorable fall toward sleep because he doesn't want to miss the opening ceremony of the World Junior Figure Skating Championship. That was the main reason for staying over at Ginger's place, after all. Unfortunately, his battle may be a losing one.

Until Ginger's phone rings, that is.

The device is only about twenty centimetres from his face, and Ginger must've set her ringer volume to maximum. Chasing The Dream by Skull Fist blasts him into full awareness, and he sits up so fast that he feels lightheaded for a second.

Nothing like heavy metal to wake a guy up.

Next to him, Ginger growls a sleepy and annoyed, “Bloody hell!” And then, after touching her phone's screen to answer the call, “What the hell do you want? I’m in bed.”

Technically true, Nikolai acknowledges. He’s about to ask who it is when his brain registers the fact that Ginger has the phone on speaker. Even if he didn’t recognize the voice coming out of the phone, one glance at the number at the top of the screen would’ve told him all he wanted to know.

Anya's intonation is snarky, and even though Nikolai can’t see her, he can picture her expression perfectly. “In bed with my husband, no doubt.”

Also technically true.

“What do you think? Of course I’m in bed with him,” Ginger says, conjuring up a tone of genuine-sounding condescension. “Why do you think you couldn’t reach him all afternoon and evening? We’ve been having loads of fun together, showing each other our moves. I’ll bet you had no idea how flexible he is.”

Nikolai covers his mouth to hold in his sudden urge to laugh. He can’t look at Ginger, or he'll lose it. Nothing she's said so far has been a lie, and if Anya chooses to misinterpret it, that's neither Ginger's nor Nikolai's problem.

"What?" Anya all but yells across the connection.

"He's a three-time champion, you know. Has he ever let you... wear all three of his world championship gold medals?"

Ginger's pause for effect is too much for Nikolai. He dives head-first into the pillows. He hopes they're enough to muffle the laughter he can no longer hold in.

"You sneaky bitch!" Anya screams. "I knew he was with you! How could you do this? I thought we were friends!"

"We are," Ginger says mildly. "But Nikolai is my friend too. It seems somebody did something quite awful to him, and he was terribly hurt by it, so he came to me for help. That's perfectly reasonable, don't you think?"

"And your idea of help is letting him fuck you three times in one day?"

"I didn't say that," says Ginger. "And please try not to be so vulgar, if you can. Gentlemen like Nikolai never 'fuck'. How debased of you to say such a thing."

"Listen," Anya says. "You tell that cheating bastard that I was ready to talk, and that I was prepared to forgive him, but now I've changed my mind."

"Forgive him? What did he do to you?"

"Everyone at the rink hates me. Even my so-called friends are treating me like I've committed a crime against humanity or something. I'm sure he's been running all over the place, telling everyone God knows what about me. People are gossiping about me, Ginger! He did that to me."

"No, darling," Ginger says. "I'm afraid you did that to yourself. Now, I must go. Nikolai is lying here waiting for me to get off the phone."

Anya's only response is a literal wordless shriek.

Nikolai assumes the call is over when he feels Ginger's fingers on his back and she says, "Nik, lift your head before you suffocate."

The instant their eyes meet, Ginger's composure cracks. The next thing Nikolai knows, Ginger is in his arms and they're both laughing so hard that they're in tears and his stomach hurts.

"Holy shit," he gasps, freeing one hand to remove his glasses and rub at his watering eyes. "Ginger, that was a masterpiece. When you're ready for a career change, maybe you should get into acting."

"Maybe I should," she muses. "I rather enjoyed that."

"I'd say that's an understatement."

"It's a safe bet she won't be bothering you for a few days," Ginger says. "I'll explain everything to her when she cools off, and hopefully she'll still agree to talk with you about your marriage."

"What if she doesn't?" he asks.

"She will," Ginger assures him. "You know Anya. She overreacts and then she calms down. Have you ever known her to be any other way?"

"No," he admits.

"There you go," Ginger says. She disentangles herself from him and scoots back. Glancing at her fitness tracker, she comments, "Nearly nine-thirty. Are we still alert enough to stay up and watch the opening ceremonies?"

"After that phone call? I think I've got my second wind now."

"Me too. Let me fetch us a couple of bottles of water. You can arrange those pillows some sort of way. I'd like to sit up while I watch."

"Got it," Nikolai says.

By the time Ginger returns from the kitchen, he has all the pillows lined up against the backrest of the sofa and he's sitting comfortably with one of the blankets over his feet and legs. Ginger tosses him a bottle of water, which he catches neatly. She wriggles under the blanket with him, and they lean into each other.

"I'm glad you're here," she says.

"I'm glad I'm here too. Thanks for letting me stay."

"You can stay until Beth-Anne gets back, if you'd rather not be alone."

"Really?"

"Yes. I'd enjoy the company, and having someone around to drive me everywhere is nice as well."

"Driving you everywhere is the least I can do," he says.

"Well, it's settled then." She tilts her head and peers up at him through her long auburn lashes, and whispers. "Wait until your wife finds out you've moved in with your mistress."

Nikolai laughs out loud, which is clearly the reaction Ginger was anticipating. She looks way more pleased with herself than she rightfully should.

"I love you," he says. "You're the best mistress I never had."

"Hmm..." She rests her head on his shoulder. "I love you too, like the brother I've always wanted."

"Does that make you my bonus sister?"

"I certainly hope so."

Nikolai smiles, secure in the knowledge that his family extends beyond mere biology. He can count on his grandfather, parents and sister, but he's also got Ginger, Beth-Anne, Stan and Milena. He can't put into words how much their love and support means to him, but maybe he doesn't have to. Maybe a simple expression of love is enough.

He'd wanted that same love in his marriage, and for a brief time he thought he had it, but he's discovered some unpleasant truths since then. Still, he reminds himself, Anya is only one person. She may not love him, and her actions may have left him with an ache in his heart, but he's surrounded by so much love on every side that he's convinced the pain isn't nearly as bad as it might otherwise have been. What if he were in Anya's position? He doesn't like to imagine how lonely and terrified he'd be, constantly questioning who liked him and who he could trust.

But, I know who I can trust, he reassures himself. I'm safe, and I'm going to be okay. My family will help me make sure of that.

He drapes his arm around Ginger's shoulders, and she instinctively snuggles closer to him. On the television, triumphant music begins to play and a splash screen appears with the ISU logo and 'World Junior Figure Skating Championship 2011' underneath it. Ginger murmurs, "Here we go. The start of another week of history being made."

Nikolai hasn't watched an ISU Worlds event on TV since he was a kid. Since then, he's always too busy competing in them. It hits him that this is another change he'll have to adjust to, another new experience for him. He's been having a lot of those lately, new experiences.

It's okay. Change isn't objectively good or bad; it's just change.

Beth-Anne is always telling him and her other students to respond, not react. She says the way they act in the face of change determines the outcome. When he reflects on it, he recognizes that he hasn't handled all the recent changes in his life particularly well, but he's done his best and he's proud of himself and his coping abilities overall.

Another week of history being made. He decides he really likes that. He's looking forward to the week ahead, and to all the weeks to come.

[benevolentdinosaur]

Beans is getting older and we're starting to see her get more stiff and hesitant with her movements. So we got her a fancy orthopaedic bed to support those aching joints.

She's always been a girl that loves to snuggle in bed but this is next level. She is practically glued to this thing.

[seokiloquy]

Wine and Movie Pt 2 - Ushijima Wakatoshi

Au: Regular (timeskip)

Tags/Warnings: GN! Reader, uhhhh

Word Count: 1.6k

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3

Suzaku glared at the pitch as the boys ran after the flying ball. His fingers fiddling anxiously with each individual hair, to the point of plucking them out, has you staring at him with more concern pulling your features than necessary. He huffed to himself and you finally caved.

“Uh, coach? Are you okay?”

His eyes flicked to your first, followed by his head. “Can’t you see the problem?”

“I’ve been more cornered that you’re gonna give your chin a bald patch, so no.”

“Look.” He jutted his chin out. “Toshi’s unbalanced.”

You took a minute, watching Ushijima run up to the net and plant his feet before lifting himself into the air and swinging down with his left arm. His weight was pushed forward, making him float towards the net much more than normal.

“He’s favouring his right,” you hummed.

“Ya, but why?”

“Likely just pulled a muscle last game. He was playing full-out non-stop.”

“As he should have.”

“Humans aren’t machines, and even machines are prone to breaking. He just needs a good stretch and some heat. I’ll take him out after this round.”

“Oh, he’s going to love that,” Suzaku’s voice droned sarcastically.

“If he wants to keep playing, he’s gonna have to.”

After an additional fifteen minutes, the team was finally let go for a water break. Hoshiumi ran in front of the rest to get his bottle, on the other hand, Ushijima was staring down at each step he took, a pinch growing between his brows.

“Yah, Wakatoshi!” his head shot up at your voice. You nodded your head to the gym exit. “You’re with me.” Behind you, Hoshiumi gossiped, eager to see the taller man’s reaction to being taken out of play. You huffed. “It's just practice, you seagull. Stop squawking and get back there.”

The silver-haired man laughed, chugging back his water before running back to the net, and you led Ushijima out and away from the gym.

“What’s this for?” he asked.

“You’re tight. Just got to stretch you out and let you recover a bit.” You looked over your shoulder at him, saw his harsh expression, and smiled. “The sooner you’re better, the sooner and longer you can play.”

Softening, Ushijima nodded and followed you into the next room. A plush orthopaedic mattress sat in the middle of the room, and without prompting, the lumbering sack of muscle lowered his 200 pounds of weight onto it. He shut his eyes and sunk into the mattress with a sigh.

You chuckled. “Okay, let's start from your legs. What’s bothering you?”

Without saying a word, he patted his left glute and back thigh, showing where the tightness was.

“Alright, knee up.”

You grabbed his shin, pushing it up to his chest. He was as flexible as his muscles would allow. If he weren’t so buff, his knee probably could reach his shoulder on a good day, but with the tightness, it couldn’t. Passing 90 degrees, he let out a small huff that sounded like a big dog having a dream. You loosened up before pushing forward again, hoping to stretch out the muscle. 

Eventually, Ushijima seemed to be fully lax against the mattress. So much so, you wondered if he had fallen asleep. So, with him comfortable, you switched. Hand and lower stomach against the outside of his knee, and right hand on his left shoulder, you pushed.

He grunted, eyes opening the widest you’ve seen, before sending you a dissatisfied stare.

You cuckold. “Butt sore?”

“Yes.”

“Relax your muscles, Toshi.”

As he followed your command, your body weight sank further against his knees and with an extra push, a satisfying crack came from his back.

“Big boned!”

“I’m just big.”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

He looked to the side, a bit of rosiness appearing on his ears, and you grinned to yourself once you realised why.

After twisting his other side out to even out his back, you sat him up and took hold of his left arm.

You didn’t even need to ask what was tight on his arm. Easily, you began moving his arm around, contorting it in every position possible to stretch out the kinks beneath his skin.

“What mystery movie do you like the best?”

“Hmm?” You met Ushijima’s eyes. “Oh, Hmm. Have you watched Knives Out?”

He shook his head. “Should we watch it next time?”

“Next time?” You found it hard to hide the grin on your cheeks.

“Tomorrow.”

“How do you know I’m not busy tomorrow?”

“Are you?” he asked expectantly, still with a steely expression. It didn’t seem to match, but it was just so perfectly him.

You let the grin explode onto your face. “Now I am.”

Your home was messier than Ushijima’s and had more western furniture than Japanese, becoming an odd fusion that was distributed by the occasional mess on every counter or seat.

Leading him to your couch, you quickly swiped up your launching laundry and threw it into the basket behind your bedroom door.

“I, uh, didn’t have time to plan food or anything for today. Do you want to order something? I’ll pay.”

He paused, observing your (rather small) couch before sitting. “Hayashi rice.”

“Uh. Okay. I’ll call. Do you mind pulling up the movie while I order?”

Being in Ushijima’s home felt like being ushered into a dragon's den, Ushijima being in your home felt like trying to bring a dragon into a mouse hole. It felt too small for him and made you skitter around to find space to breathe.

He was there, in your home, where not many get to enter. No problem, not at all. You peeked out of the kitchen, phone ringing in your ear as you watched him search for the movie.

Ushijima waited for you to return to the couch before hitting play. “Is this a movie I want to pay attention to? Or is talking allowed?”

“Hmm, I think some talking is fine, but you’ll also be a bit too absorbed in the plot to say anything.”

Ushijima nodded, watching the screen start to change colour, and slouched into his seat.

Having already seen the movie and already knowing the ending, you settled for watching Ushijima’s expression. Studying each and every twitch he made in reaction to a new piece of information or twist. You smiled every time his eyes flicked a bit wider.

About 20 minutes in, the food arrived, and you were reluctant to leave your spot on the couch. Your eyes trained on Ushijima as you got up and walked back towards the door, grabbing the food as quickly as possible to get back to the couch.

When you sat the bag on the table, Ushijima scooted closer to the middle. Your breath hitched, but you distracted yourself by sorting out the plates. Maybe you could use the movie to distract yourself.

It didn’t work. With him sitting closer, Ushijima’s body heat seemed to radiate into your skin and only made it harder to look away from him. It was only when you were trying not to stab yourself in the cheek that you managed to turn away. His elbow brushing against your every time he lifted the food to his teeth made it difficult, though, and each brush only seemed to get longer and longer. It had gotten so bad that you only noticed the movie ended when Ushijima’s head turned and made eye contact.

“So,” you choked. “What did you think?”

“You are pretty smart.”

“Huh?”

“It was enjoyable. But I also think that only someone that strives for knowledge and understanding would want to watch this movie without prompting from another person. So, I think you are a smart person.”

“Really. Um, thank you. But, what are your thoughts on the film? You were pretty focused.”

“Hmm, I was.” He nodded, “I wanted to solve the mystery before they revealed it, but I don’t think I would have anticipated how it went.”

“Is there anything you think you would want to be different?”

He stared at you, thinking for a moment before shaking his head. “I don’t think so. I’m not sure if I’d be able to improve the plot at all. But, I do want to watch it again and see if I can notice the clues.”

You smiled, “Well, I guess we can put mystery movies on the list of things you like.”

He nodded, glancing down at the empty takeaway bowl in his hands. “Yes, among other things.”

Ushijima was back on an orthopaedic chair, letting you contort his body around to get every strain and crack out of his body before the game. But his left butt cheek would not let up.

“Toshi, I know you have fantastic control over your body. Please relax so you can get out there and warm up.”

You folded over his thigh more, leaning down a little closer than you’d want to while on the clock in hopes that that extra force would help stretch him out. It didn’t.

Lifting your head, you glared at him, expecting Ushijima to have his eyes perfectly relaxed and not see the angry stare.

They weren’t closed, and instead of giving up and getting off him, you froze up.

He blinked, eyes flicking to the side as he took a deep breath, before staring you down with a confident look you’d commonly associate with being on the court.

“I want to date you.”

“Heh?” It was your turn to tense, muscles becoming rocks.

“I want to date you. I hope I can take you on a date, a proper one.” He waited for you to respond, but still frozen and carried by the strength of his leg, you couldn’t. “Please, just say yes. I’ll buy you more wine.”

“Yes.”

Finally, his leg released, sending out a loud crack, and you scrambled off. You stared out into space, realising that you had been holding the position instead of having a tight muscle.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

“Toshi—”

He had already had out the door and toward the stadium, leaving you blicking in his wake.

“Did he really just…” You suck onto the mattress, staring into nothing until you heard a loud cheer. Schweiden had gotten a point.

University makes me braindead. If ya’ll want another part, let me know what you want to happen cause I don’t I could imagine it up at the moment. -Bacon

Posted: 12/03/2023

[theautisticdoctor]

Entry #012

Hypermobility

A problem many autistic fellows of mine, including me, are suffering from is hypermobility. It's a underdiagnosed, underrecognized part of autism.

I personally deal with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), which runs in my family. My great-grandmother, grandmother, and mother all have it, and so do I. It comes with a host of symptoms: atrophic scars, mitral valve insufficiency, postural / orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, gastric motility disorder, pelvic and bladder dysfunction, extremely soft and stretchy skin, and, of course, extreme hypermobility. I can bend my joints in ways that I only learned in medical school was abnormal, and I’ve often felt like a bit of a freak during skills practices. I remember asking an orthopaedic surgeon during training why people couldn’t do 90 degrees flexion and extension with their forefeet, only to be met with confusion. When I demonstrated what I meant, the look on his face was one of pure astonishment. This highlights how different our experiences can be and how misunderstood they often are.

One of the most frustrating parts is not being taken seriously by some doctors. I’m lucky to have a medical degree and trusted colleagues I can consult, but many autistic individuals don’t have this luxury. Too often, our symptoms are dismissed or attributed to our mental health, leading us to delay seeking help until things get really bad. Please, don’t wait. The longer you put off seeing a doctor, the harder it becomes to treat your symptoms. Find a physician who listens and takes you seriously. Hypermobility doesn't necessarily mean you have EDS, but hypermobile or not, moving and living isn’t easy. Chronic exhaustion is real and debilitating. I touched on managing energy levels in entry #003 with routines based on my modified spoon theory, which I call the cutlery theory. I’ll dive deeper into this in a future post.

Living with hypermobility means constant joint pain, frequent dislocations, and early arthritis. I’ve never known a pain-free day, and overdoing it physically just makes things worse. Recovery takes time, and I’m still figuring out if physical and mental fatigue recover together or separately. Overstraining definitely not only impacts physical, but also my mental state. Not everyone can access rehabilitation programs, but there are steps you can take on your own to make it a little easier or better. Start by tracking your symptoms to identify patterns. This can help you find ways to support yourself. Working with a physiotherapist or occupational therapist is ideal, but you can also use trial and error to find what works for you. I’m always here to brainstorm and offer support.

I’m a big believer in creative therapy. One exercise is to color in a body image to show where you feel comfortable, uncomfortable, or in pain. This helps you and your healthcare providers understand your condition better and develop a personalised treatment plan.

Also, braces can be a lifesaver for dislocated or overstretched joints, even though I hate wearing them. They help prevent further injury and aid in recovery. Despite the awkward looks and comments, they’re definitely worth it.

In conclusion, hypermobility is often a comorbidity of autism. It can cause mental fatigue and chronic pain, among other symptoms. Don’t suffer in silence, but find ways to accommodate yourself and make life easier. Medication and surgery aren’t always the answers, although they can help. Awareness and lifestyle adjustments can make a big difference too. Talk to your physician, physiotherapist, occupational therapist, and fellow patients to find what works for you.

[drsanjaygupta-1]

Best Orthopaedic Doctor Vaishali Ghaziabad

Discover Top-Notch Orthopedic Care with Dr. Sanjay Gupta in Vaishali, Ghaziabad

If you’re searching for exceptional orthopedic care in Vaishali, Ghaziabad, look no further than Dr. Sanjay Gupta. Renowned for his expertise and compassionate approach, Dr. Gupta stands out as one of the leading orthopedic specialists in the region. In this blog, we’ll explore what makes Dr. Gupta the best choice for your orthopedic needs and why you should consider visiting him for your hip, knee, and joint concerns.

Why Dr. Sanjay Gupta is the Best Orthopedic Doctor in Vaishali

Extensive Experience and Expertise

Dr. Sanjay Gupta brings years of experience and specialized training in orthopedics, focusing on the diagnosis and treatment of hip and knee conditions. His extensive background includes advanced training and certifications, ensuring that he provides the highest level of care. Whether you’re dealing with a sports injury, arthritis, or need joint replacement surgery, Dr. Gupta’s expertise will guide you through the best treatment options available.

Patient-Centered Care

At the heart of Dr. Gupta’s practice is a commitment to personalized, patient-centered care. He understands that every patient is unique, and he takes the time to listen to your concerns, evaluate your condition comprehensively, and develop a tailored treatment plan. His approach ensures that you receive not only effective treatment but also compassionate support throughout your recovery journey.

State-of-the-Art Facilities

Dr. Gupta’s clinic in Vaishali is equipped with the latest technology and medical advancements in orthopedic care. From diagnostic imaging to surgical procedures, the clinic’s state-of-the-art facilities ensure that you receive the most accurate diagnosis and effective treatment. The use of cutting-edge technology aids in minimally invasive procedures, reducing recovery time and enhancing overall outcomes.

Comprehensive Range of Services

Whether you’re seeking treatment for chronic pain, recovering from an injury, or considering joint replacement surgery, Dr. Gupta offers a comprehensive range of orthopedic services. His expertise spans:

Hip and Knee Replacement Surgery

Sports Medicine and Injury Management

Arthritis Treatment

Fracture Care and Rehabilitation

Minimally Invasive Surgical Techniques

Positive Patient Outcomes

Dr. Gupta’s dedication to achieving positive patient outcomes is reflected in the countless success stories of his patients. Many have praised his skillful surgical techniques, effective pain management, and the improvement in their quality-of-life post-treatment. His patients often commend his ability to restore function and mobility, allowing them to return to their daily activities with renewed vigor.

Accessible and Convenient Location

Located in the heart of Vaishali, Dr. Gupta’s clinic is easily accessible for residents of Ghaziabad and surrounding areas. The convenient location ensures you can receive top-tier orthopedic care without needing to travel far. The clinic’s friendly staff is also available to assist with appointment scheduling, insurance queries, and any other needs you may have.

What to Expect During Your Visit

When you visit Dr. Sanjay Gupta, you can expect a thorough evaluation of your condition. Your initial consultation will involve a detailed discussion about your symptoms, medical history, and lifestyle. Dr. Gupta may recommend diagnostic tests to understand your condition better. Based on the findings, he will discuss the most appropriate treatment options, whether they involve conservative management, physical therapy, or surgical intervention.

For more: - https://drsanjaygupta.info/best-orthopaedic-doctor-vaishali-ghaziabad/

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

“Though a growing body of data suggests women in sport are more likely to sustain a concussion, have more severe symptoms, and to take longer to recover, most sports-related concussions protocols are based on data from men.

In a review in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, researchers looked at 171 concussion studies written since 1967 which are used to inform the most influential consensus and position statements in treating sports-related concussions.

Clinicians rely on these documents to guide their medical practice when treating athletes -- but most of the studies are focused on men. Only 1% of them was looking exclusively at concussions in women and 40% of them didn't have any women in a sample of participants at all.”

Full text under cut

Kelly Catlin and Ellie Soutter never met, but they had a lot in common.

Both were commanding athletes: Catlin, a US track cyclist, was a three-times world champion and Olympic silver medalist, and Soutter, a snowboarder, was tipped to be one of Team Great Britain's strongest contenders for the 2022 Winter Olympics, having already won a bronze medal at the 2017 European Youth Olympic Festival.

Both were incredibly smart -- Catlin was studying for a master's degree in computational and mathematical engineering at Stanford University, while Soutter learned to speak French in about six months, according to her father.

At times they almost seemed superhuman. In 2013, after only three weeks of formal training and having broken her wrist, Soutter became British Champion with her arm in a cast. Meanwhile, Catlin, who had a tenderness for children, once rode 80 miles through sleet and snow to speak to a grade school about her Olympic experience.

Yet these two women's lives were tragically cut short after they sustained serious head injuries in their pursuit of sporting greatness and then took their own lives. Catlin was 23, while Soutter died by suicide on her 18th birthday.

Females may be more susceptible to concussion, and they also have worse and prolonged symptoms after their injury than men, according to a review of 25 studies of sport-related concussion published in the Orthopaedic Journal of Sports Medicine.

However, women remain significantly underrepresented within sport and exercise science research. This, leading experts warn, means they often do not get the treatment or aftercare they need following a head injury.

Women's sports have historically not received the same attention or funding as men's sports, Dr. Ann McKee, Director of the Boston University Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) Center told CNN.

"It's been shown that women athletes are more likely to get a concussion, they tend to have longer recovery periods," McKee added.

"We do not have enough information about what happens in the female brain. We don't know if women are biologically more susceptible to these injuries," she said, adding that some research suggests the size and musculature of women's necks could play a part.

Before becoming a track cyclist, Catlin, a triplet, was a national champion road cyclist and time trial national champion, her father Mark, told CNN. After winning a Canadian international race at 17 she was invited to an Olympic training camp for a try out, where, impressed by her performance numbers, coaches immediately offered her a position on the track pursuit team.

Catlin's father, Mark, told CNN, that his daughter was "intense" and "ambitious," attributes she channeled into her sporting life.

Her life changed irrevocably in January 2019. Practicing fast downhill descents in the hills near Los Angeles, she crashed and went skidding down the road. Despite suffering road rash, Catlin got back on her bike, and finished the ride. It wasn't her first crash -- she had experienced 4 or 5 hard crashes before this, her father said, and after the latest, she didn't have any symptoms at the time.

But soon after, at a World Cup track event in Berlin, Catlin was gripped by a sudden and severe headache.

"She couldn't compete," her father said. "Kelly is kind of this stoical individual. And if she's rolling around on the ground, clutching her head, it has to be a severe thing."

On closer inspection, Catlin's helmet from LA had dents in it. Her father told CNN that this, coupled with her symptoms, caused her family to become aware she had suffered a concussion, which was later confirmed with a diagnosis from Stanford's Health Centre.

A concussion is a brain injury which happens after a hit to the head or body causes the brain to move back and forth inside the skull, according to the CDC.

When Catlin returned to the US, her father says she was examined by the track training center in Colorado, whose work-up didn't find anything.

"There wasn't any follow-up from Colorado after this. I believe they assumed she would seek care at Stanford," he told CNN.

Catlin's symptoms didn't improve, and in weekly phone calls with her parents, she admitted she was struggling with schoolwork and was unable to concentrate.

Stanford Health Center, having diagnosed Catlin with concussion with ongoing symptoms, recommended that she decrease her training for 2 weeks and then gradually build back up and start sessions with an athletic trainer, medical documents sent to CNN by her father show. She was referred to a concussion specialist, the document adds.

She tried to train, but "she would have to stop because she got a severe headache just from walking," according to her father. Her heart rate would also accelerate rapidly from even the smallest exertion, leaving her with "no exercise tolerance whatsoever," he added.

Wherever she turned she could not find help."

Mark Catlin

Her injury had other consequences.

"As far as we knew she was never a person that suffered from depression. She had an interesting sense of humor. She was always upbeat and bubbly about things," her father told CNN.

"She basically thought her life was over. She was no longer able to be the athlete that she was, she was failing her teammates. And she wasn't able to succeed in school now. And I think ultimately, that's why she took her life, because she thought her life was over," he added.

At the end of January, Catlin made a serious but unsuccessful suicide attempt, and was involuntarily admitted to the locked psychiatric ward at Stanford, her father told CNN.

A month after that attempt, she took her own life.

Soutter's father Tony said there were many dimensions to his young daughter -- not only was she an "adrenaline junkie," but she was "very conscientious" and excelled in school, even after moving from England to France.

Aged 12, Soutter took up snowboarding at school -- and just months later, she was spotted in her hometown resort of Les Gets and trialed by Team Great Britain in February 2013.

"It was quite obvious why she kept winning competitions because she just made it easy," her father said. "She just made it look graceful and beautiful."

But training took its toll -- Soutter told CNN that his daughter suffered seven major concussions in five years, between 2013 and 2018.

"I was being advised by doctors "Oh, don't worry, she's young enough she'll bounce back. As she progressed, becoming an elite athlete starting on the World Cup circuit, every time she had another concussion, they got worse, and they took longer to recover from," he told CNN.

"With every concussion, with the exception of a few minor knocks, Ellie saw a doctor in person," he added. "I was always told that she was young enough to bounce back to full health after each case and therefore never consulted with the doctors that I met, about any previous concussions."

But Soutter's final concussion was so "huge" that she spent two nights in the hospital.

"When I got there, she didn't even know who I was or where she was," her father said.

Soutter was then selected for the Junior Snowboard World Championships in New Zealand August 2018. But a month before the competition, she died by suicide.

I truly believe today that my daughter would be alive had I had...even the smallest bit of information."

Her father said a neurologist conducted a CT scan of her brain and reaction tests three months after her final concussion, but said she was "absolutely fine" and could continue competing.

Like Catlin, Soutter had issues with studying and concentrating, becoming more insular as she suffered from crippling headaches. She also started suffering from insomnia.

"She would literally sit with the tutor a good month after a concussion, and suddenly, she'd go blind. She'd not be able to see -- everything would go black and dark," her father said.

After missing a flight to snowboard training, Soutter died by suicide on her 18th birthday.

Team GB referred CNN to GB Snowsport when approached for comment, adding that Ellie only competed for Team GB at one event.

In order to represent Britain in international competitions, GB Snowsport says athletes or their coaches are required to demonstrate that the athlete has reached established performance criteria, is of the relevant technical ability to compete, and has appropriate medical clearance to compete. A large number of athletes can represent Britain at different levels of international competition but are not part of a programme delivered and overseen by GB Snowsport.

"As Ellie was not part of the GB Snowsport programme, we were unable to implement a personalised recovery and management programme for Ellie," a spokesperson for GB Snowsport told CNN in an email.

"She was, however, covered by national policies and protocols around fitness to compete, and would not have been cleared for any activity -- training or competition -- overseen by GB Snowsport without being able to demonstrate appropriate medical sign-off," they added.

The spokesperson for GB Snowsport told CNN: "We take concussions and head injuries incredibly seriously, and in reviewing contemporaneous records from the time that Ellie was involved in snowsport we are confident that GB Snowsport staff applied and followed every appropriate process."

Catlin and Soutter aren't the only young sporting women whose lives have been cut short in this way.

After 29-year-old Australian rules football player Jacinda Barclay took her life in 2020, post-mortem research by scientists found that she had degradation to her cerebral white matter unusual for someone her age.

"For someone her age, you would expect to see lovely pristine white matter, and hers looked like she was an old woman in that it was basically degraded," Michael Buckland, founder and Executive Director of the Australian Sports Brain Bank, who studied Barclay's brain, told CNN.

"We haven't gone back and done specific white matter studies on our donors," he told CNN, adding that the bank hasn't done peer reviewed research on this. "But what struck me, just as someone that sees a lot of brains -- this is not normal for someone of that age."

Damage to white matter has been associated with dementia, according to research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Opportunities missed

Suicide after concussion is rare. However patients diagnosed with concussion or mild traumatic brain injury had double the risk of suicide and a higher risk of suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts than people without brain injuries, a 2018 study from researchers at the University of Harvard published in JAMA Neurology found.

Dr. Robert Cantu, clinical professor of neurology at the Center for the Study of Traumatic Encephalopathy at Boston University School of Medicine told CNN that there are several theories as to why incidence of suicide is higher in people who have suffered concussion.

One theory, he explained, is that those suffering from persistent post-concussion symptoms may have structural or functional brain damage and could be experiencing "behavioral dysregulation: short fuse, irritability, [and] can't suppress impulses the way you normally could."

With these emotional problems, "they would be more prone to perhaps do something impulsive, like commit suicide," Cantu told CNN.

A second theory, Cantu noted, is that post-concussive symptoms prevent people from getting back into their sport and stop them "from being the person that they were before their injury."

Neither theory is proven to the exclusion of the other, Cantu said, adding he thinks increased suicidality was "a combined factor involving both in many, if not most cases."

There are also differences in the way brain injuries affect women.

A study of female soccer players across US high schools found they are nearly twice as likely to suffer concussion as their male counterparts, according to research that looked at over 80,000 adolescent athletes, published in the journal JAMA Network Open.

Women remain significantly underrepresented within sport and exercise science research: a 2021 study examining papers from some of the most influential sports medical journals found that only 6% of the studies were solely focused on women, compared with 31% of studies that included just men.

Other researchers have pointed to female sex hormones, with risk of concussion changing with hormone levels during a menstrual cycle.

McKee said all athletes can also experience "non-concussive" injuries: "hits to the head that can be of the same magnitude as concussion, but they don't rise to the level of symptoms for whatever reason, so a player tends to play right through it."

Cumulative exposure to repetitive head impacts -- including concussion and non- concussive injuries -- increases the risk for the neurodegenerative brain disease chronic traumatic encephalopathy, known as CTE, McKee said.

The disease, which can only be formally diagnosed with an autopsy, has mostly been seen in either veterans or people who played contact sports, particularly American football, say researchers. The disease occurs when the brain starts to degenerate likely due to repeated head traumas, according to the Mayo Clinic, which notes CTE is "associated with recurrent concussions."

But scientists aren't only concerned about concussions.

Previous studies have shown subconcussive head impacts -- repetitive hits to the head and body that do not cause symptoms -- can still result in long-term neurological disease.

According to The Concussion Legacy Foundation, "the best available evidence suggests that subconcussive impacts, not concussions, are the driving force behind CTE."

There have been cases of CTE discovered in athletes who have never been diagnosed with a concussion, according to the Concussion Legacy Foundation.

And other changes in the brain after repetitive head impacts aside from CTE are likely "equally important," McKee said.

"We also see damage to the white matter. And that appears to be mostly in the frontal lobe, but also in the temporal lobes," she said.

"We're trying to understand the relationship of those white matter changes to behavioral and mood symptoms, perhaps even suicidality," she said.

McKee stressed that concussion management is important, but physicians and athletes should also be aware of other injuries.

"The problem is the subclinical hits -- the non-concussive injuries that aren't detected, you don't pull the player off the field -- and they can be in the hundreds or even the 1000s in a single season," she explained.

Lack of research

Though a growing body of data suggests women in sport are more likely to sustain a concussion, have more severe symptoms, and to take longer to recover, most sports-related concussions protocols are based on data from men.

In a review in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, researchers looked at 171 concussion studies written since 1967 which are used to inform the most influential consensus and position statements in treating sports-related concussions.

Clinicians rely on these documents to guide their medical practice when treating athletes -- but most of the studies are focused on men. Only 1% of them was looking exclusively at concussions in women and 40% of them didn't have any women in a sample of participants at all.

There is another risk factor for women in sport when they sustain head injuries, Katherine Snedaker, founder and executive director of PINK Concussions, a non-profit dedicated to women's health and brain injury, told CNN.

There is a gulf of millions of dollars separating women and men when it comes to average annual salaries in most professional sports.

Outside of elite sport, Snedaker says, female athletes often don't have access to the same medical care as men, meaning head injuries aren't spotted as routinely.

"They tend to push really hard through the injury," she said.

And many women can't afford to take time out to recover: even professional athletes will supplement their sports income with other jobs, she added, and many are caregivers.

"When they really crater, it's a couple of days or weeks later."

Snedaker said female athletes often weren't aware they had suffered a head injury.

If they were, she said, there were no appropriate medical or sporting staff to inform.

Not enough support

The families of Catlin and Soutter feel the young women didn't get enough support after their injuries.

After Catlin's first suicide attempt, she was released from an involuntary admission to the psychiatric ward after threatening legal action, and a conference between psychiatrists, her coach and her parents.

She attended therapy sessions, which she agreed to attend during the conference, but found "they were geared toward suicidal freshman with a whole set of different issues than an elite Olympic athlete," her father told CNN.

She got a referral to a sports psychologist that worked with the Stanford athletic department, but the department forbade the psychologist from seeing Catlin because she was not a varsity athlete, her father added.

She contacted the office of a sports psychologist with whom she had developed a rapport while in the hospital -- but, his appointment secretary said he had no openings for six months, her father told CNN.

"Wherever she turned she could not find help," he said, adding that his daughter tried a suicide hotline several times: she was once put on hold and once received no answer.

Catlin described his daughter as a "stoic, female warrior type person that isn't going to admit that she's struggling."

"She needed a sports psychiatrist that really could understand what she was going through and understand the rigors of her life in terms of preparation for competitions and the athletic side of it and what it could potentially do to you."

Her father said a major factor in his daughter's death was "a lack of communication between the facilities that were involved in Kelly's care. No one was in charge and they assumed the other institutions were following up when they weren't," he added.

In a statement sent to CNN, Luisa Rapport, director of emergency communications and media relations at Stanford University did not address any of the specific allegations made by Catlin's family. She said while the university does not discuss in the media the details of individual students' experiences, "supporting the mental and emotional health of students is a critical priority for Stanford."

"Students in need of mental health crisis assistance -- including students having suicidal thoughts -- and those who are concerned about students in need of assistance, can contact the University's Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) 24 hours-a-day, seven days-a-week," she added.

Rapport said that in addition to this, "there are multiple places where psychological services may be provided for students depending on individualized need and treatment recommendations, including, for example, affiliated hospital services and clinics through Stanford's Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, and mental health programs and clinicians in the community."

In a statement sent to CNN, USA Cycling said it was "devastated" by Catlin's death, adding: "She brought focus and determination to everything she did, and served as an inspiration to everyone who knew her.

"As the National Governing Body for the sport of cycling, USA Cycling prioritizes the holistic wellbeing of the riders on the U.S. National Team and has a longstanding commitment to providing both physical and mental health resources to members of the team," a representative for USA Cycling added.

After his daughter Ellie's death, Soutter was contacted by the UNITE Brain Bank, who wanted to study her brain as part of their research into CTE.

But even in that facility -- the biggest of its kind in the world -- of some 12,190 brains, only 3% belonged to women, Ann McKee, Director of the Boston University Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) Center told CNN.

"When I actually started looking into CTE -- all of the work that they've done with the footballers in America, she had every single symptom and more," Soutter told CNN.

"It was quite obvious to me that there was a definite link in her starting to get into dark places and feeling bad and anxious and not sleeping properly. All of those symptoms ... Every one that's involved in CTE was part of Ellie's life," he added.

"I truly believe today that my daughter would be alive had I had any inkling, you know, even the smallest bit of information."

Editor's Note: If you are in the US and you or a loved one have contemplated suicide, call The National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to connect with a trained counselor.

For support outside of the US, a worldwide directory of resources and international hotlines is provided by the International Association for Suicide Prevention. You can also turn to Befrienders Worldwide.

[a-life-in-medicine]

Highlights of the internship - Week 10:

• I inserted orogastric tube to a neonate. It is inevitable to think “what if I do something wrong and hurt them?”

• I am normally confident with my suturing, I have had a lot of practices but I have never tried it on a child before. On a child, who obviously cries out loud and screams. I was nervous but I am glad to say that I have handled it pretty well; on chin, knee, arm, etc. I have had the chance to do it on many kids in the ER.

• I was going to attend an amputation operation, offered to me by the orthopaedics attending and intern, but the last minute change in their schedule made me miss it :’)

• On my first day at the ward, I was alone and I have admitted 9 patients on my own. The information on the papers being so comprehensive that history taking and doing examination took a long time, I could not sit and rest for a minute. Towards the end of the day, the resident saw me and said, “you have worked so much today and you seem like you are done with life now.” Well, that is because I am.

• I had to draw blood from my mother, whose veins are not prominent at all and will never show up even with tourniquet. So I had to try the middle of her forearm, I was sucessful but she has bruise in that area now :’)

• There was a 3-month-old boy I admitted to the ward and I was there when he was discharged but they came back during my night shift in the ER. We come across there and the mother recognised me when she saw me; “we had to come back and he will be hospitalised again.” Apparently, when she went to the ward that day, she said: “Dr. (my name) was our doctor.” 🥹🥹

[lonelynpc]

I’m a first aider and we’re told TQs are the best for big bleeds and don’t hurt. Do some research.

deleted my og post by mistake lmao but here you go, a brand new one on tourniquet pain:

i know there are a lot of tourniquet advocates out there but you need to understand that, if a tourniquet is properly applied, it really really fucking hurts.

tourniquets function by cutting off blood flow to a limb and are tied extremely tightly until you can no longer palpate a pulse in that limb. it is largely considered one of the most painful procedures in medicine.

best practice, where available, is to administer pain relief before and after application.

ever wonder why the windlass is locked in place under that hard bit of plastic and then covered with two a velcro straps?

it’s because people rip tourniquets off due to the pain. you’re not just compressing the vessels but everything in the limb. the tissue and nerves are being deprived of oxygen which is agonising. patients still feel pain even when there is a regional anaesthetic block in place.

you also need to think that the patient is already in pain due to the cause of a bleed so severe that it requires a tourniquet so adding something that is compressing the limb to that isn’t fun.

tourniquets can also cause permanent damage.

source: i am a doctor, below i will put some medical journals

here’s some quotes from medical journals about tourniquet pain:

“Many techniques like application of EMLA cream, infiltration with local anesthetics, use of wider cuff with lower inflation pressure, addition of opioids, clonidine, epinephrine along with local anesthetics in spinal block have been tried in order to decrease the incidence or severity of this pain but none has attained complete success in pain relief.” — Kumar, K., Railton, C., & Tawfic, Q. (2016). Tourniquet application during anesthesia: “What we need to know?” Journal of Anaesthesiology-Clinical Pharmacology/Journal of Anaesthesiology Clinical Pharmacology, 32(4), 424. https://doi.org/10.4103/0970-9185.168174

“After 30–60 min, inflation of a tourniquet is frequently followed by the development of a dull aching pain, despite adequate regional anaesthesia.” — Masri, B. A., Eisen, A., Duncan, C. P., & McEwen, J. A. (2020). Tourniquet-induced nerve compression injuries are caused by high pressure levels and gradients – a review of the evidence to guide safe surgical, pre-hospital and blood flow restriction usage. BMC Biomedical Engineering, 2(1). https://doi.org/10.1186/s42490-020-00041-5

“A properly applied tourniquet is painful and this has experientially led to inadequate tightening or inappropriate pre‐hospital removal. The patient will require strong analgesia (for example, opiate or ketamine intravenously) after stabilisation of vital signs.” — Lee, C., Porter, K. M., & Hodgetts, T. J. (2007). Tourniquet use in the civilian prehospital setting. Emergency Medicine Journal, 24(8), 584–587. https://doi.org/10.1136/emj.2007.046359

patients still feel the pain of a tourniquet while anaesthetised or under a regional block.

i would strongly recommend doing research on this. it is painful.

[buuimindfulness]

Surprising Benefits of Yoga Mats You Never Knew

The Unsung Hero of Your Yoga Session: The Yoga Mat

Imagine the scene: a peaceful morning, a warm cup of herbal tea, and the desire to embark on a rejuvenating yoga session. As you unroll your yoga mat and transition into your first pose, have you ever paused to consider the vital role this seemingly simple accessory plays in your yoga practice? Let's delve into the often-overlooked benefits of the yoga mat that might surprise you.

1. Unparalleled Grip for Stability

Your yoga mat is not just a flat surface; it's designed as an anti-slip haven. This feature ensures stability during intense sessions, like Hot Yoga, where perspiration could turn your mat into a potential slip zone. Approximately 80% of yogis credit their mat for improving overall stability, allowing them to focus on perfecting poses rather than slipping worries.

2. Comfort and Cushioning: Embracing the Cloud Effect

Beyond aesthetics, your yoga mat offers a cushiony embrace. It serves as a supportive layer, significantly reducing the risk of joint injuries during poses that exert pressure on areas like wrists and knees. Research from the Orthopaedic Journal of Sports Medicine emphasizes the vital role of cushioning in minimizing joint strain during yoga practice.

3. Your Personal Sanctuary in a Hectic World

Amidst life's chaos, your yoga mat becomes a sacred space. Rolling it out signifies a boundary where stress and worries are left behind, even if only for an hour. This mental sanctuary is as crucial as the physical benefits of yoga, providing a temporary escape where you become the priority.

4. Hygienic Shield Against Bacteria

In urban environments, shared spaces can harbor unseen bacteria. Your personal yoga mat acts as a hygienic barrier, shielding you from germs. Whether practicing in a shared studio or a public park, your mat stands as a trustworthy shield in the ongoing battle against bacteria.

5. Aesthetic Appeal: Merging Functionality with Style

Functional items can be stylish too. Your yoga mats transform into a personal expression with countless designs, ranging from mandala prints, cartoon prints yoga mats to celestial patterns. It becomes the fashion runway of the yoga world, allowing you to flaunt your unique style while practicing mindfulness.

6. Portable Motivator for Consistency

Similar to how seeing your running shoes might motivate you to jog, your yoga mat serves as a silent reminder of your commitment to yourself. Its portability enables you to carry your practice wherever life takes you—from the bustling streets of Brooklyn to the serene landscapes of The Bronx.

7. Improve Posture and Alignment with Marked Mats

Some yoga mats come equipped with markers and alignment lines. They aren't just for aesthetics but ensure your poses are precise. It's like having a silent yoga instructor always with you, guiding you toward perfecting each posture.

8. The Environmental Perspective: A Bow to Nature

Yoga is not just a personal practice but a journey aligning with nature. Many yoga mats are crafted from natural, biodegradable materials, blending self-improvement with environmental consciousness. With every Sun Salutation, you make a nod to Mother Earth.

9. Tailored to Your Unique Practice

Not all yoga practices are the same, and neither are all yoga mats. Advanced designs allow you to find a mat tailored for your unique style, ensuring optimum benefits for your specific practice, whether it's Bikram Yoga or Yin Yoga.

10. Amplifying the Spiritual Connection

Beyond the physical, your yoga mat often transcends into the spiritual realm. It becomes a sacred space, capturing and holding the energy of your practice. With every roll-out, you carve out a moment of serenity and focus in the chaos of daily life.

11. Amplifies Your Balance: Mind-Body Harmony

Balance isn't just physical stability; it's about the mind-body connection. A good yoga mat, with its grip and stability, allows you to focus inward, amplifying the harmony between your mind and body during each pose.

12. Safety Net: Guarding Against Injuries

While yoga is a peaceful practice, injuries can occur. Your mat serves as a safety net, providing the necessary grip to prevent accidents. It whispers reassurance, saying, "I've got your back," as you navigate through different poses.

13. Versatile Accessory for Diverse Exercises

Your trusty yoga mat isn't limited to yoga alone. It offers a cushioned surface for various exercises, from push-ups to sit-ups, ensuring you get the most out of your workout without the discomfort of bare floors.

Choosing the Best Yoga Mat: A Confluence of Preference and Purpose

Selecting the perfect yoga mat involves considerations such as purpose, material, portability, and budget. The mat is not just an accessory; it's a crucial element that complements your practice.

Take your time in choosing a best yoga mat, be it adult yoga mats or yoga mat for kids as sometimes, the mat chooses you, marking the beginning of a beautiful and harmonious relationship.

Conclusion- Elevating Your Yoga Experience

In the grand tapestry of yoga, the mat is not merely a prop but a partner. It aids, supports, and sometimes even challenges us to push our limits. So, the next time you step onto your yoga mat, remember you're stepping onto a legacy of design, function, and holistic well-being.

[abramarketing]

Orthopedic Website Design that Helps Grow Your Practice

For orthopedic practices, orthopedic website design should be the hub of your marketing program. Every practice knows they need a good website. However, building a website that truly supports the growth of your practice is harder than it looks. Many web developers and digital marketing agencies can create the appearance of good orthopedic website design. However, many of these websites lack the critical ingredients that make the difference between a website that looks nice vs. one that helps a practice grow. Abra specializes in orthopedic website design (orthopaedic website design) that supports practice growth.

[now-we-say-c0ral]

September 29, 2023

Woke up early for my 9am call time in Reading for the Orthopaedic Scrub Convention by DePuy Synthes. Apparently, I wasn't early enough.

I booked the wrong train, only had 50% of the fare refunded to my account, booked a more expensive train to Reading which had 2 stops, barely made it in time for the staff bus to take us to the centre and when Silvia, the Practice Educator, who offered me the opportunity, told me that this'll be just for new orthopaedic scrub staff, apparently that wasn't true because most, if not all, who were there were al seasoned band 6s and I was the newest orthopaedic scrub staff in the room. Whoo! Now that's like a lot and my day isn't over.

They offered such a nice array of pastry and refreshments. I got the cucumber water and the chocolate crossaint. I met some nice Filipino acquaintances who I sat with whom of which I already forgot the names of. I listened intently to the seminar but couldn't really relate much because the seminar was mostly all about the systems that we wouldn't normally use in GOSH. It was focused more on adult stuff and I just knew the small/large fragment set.

After lunch, which was great though they only offered sandwiches, we got to the practical bit of the lesson. They taught us how to use the systems and the one that I enjoyed the most was the DHS one. They actually made us use an actual power tool to put in the screws and the actual plate and implant and I met this veteran Filipina scrub nurse who taught me how to do it. I bet she can do the procedure herself because she really knew what she was talking about. I'll never forget ate Irene for being there for me when I told everyone that I don't know what they were all on about, funny enough. I also brought the bone that I drilled home.

The day finally ended and we all said our good byes. I got home tired. I was about to go to the gym but didn't feel like it after all the walking that I did. This day was filled with so much learning and I felt like I enriched myself more with orthopaedics (even if I don't like it).

[aviclinic]

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This is a one-stop clinic for consultation, diagnosing and treatment. can you'll you may see either a nurse or doctor WHO will perform any necessary investigations to diagnose your downside, make a case for what might be wrong and give you recommendation and/or treatment. All recommendation and coverings within the clinic square measure utterly confidential.Physical therapy or physiatrics (sometimes abbreviated to PT) may be a healthcare profession primarily involved with the correction of impairments and disabilities and the promotion of quality, useful ability, quality of life and movement potential through examination, evaluation, diagnosing and physical intervention.

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[stargazer-sims]

🖋 Anya

See? This was worth turning anon asks on for, right? Here you go!

Anna-Valentina Alexandrovna Pavlenko (née Baranova)

Where to start with Anya...

She's a Canadian, although her father's family has only been in Canada for two generations. She has one younger brother, Andrei, and she had an older sister, Katerina, who passed away as a toddler, before either she or Andrei were born.

It was her paternal grandfather who started calling her by the diminutive form of her name, Anya. When she was a child, she liked it because it made her feel loved and special, and as she grew older, she also started liking it because she felt it sounded more exotic and cool than "Anna". She started introducing herself as "Anya" at the beginning of middle school, and it stuck. Now, this is how practically everyone addresses her, and most people don't even know that her legal name is Anna.

Anya started taking skating lessons when she was five, and showed a natural talent for the sport. She decided that she wanted to compete seriously when she was around nine years old, and dedicated herself wholeheartedly to learning everything she could and becoming the best skater possible. It was mostly her paternal grandparents who encouraged her skating career, paid for things, travelled with her and supported her.

Her other passion is photography, which she also loved from an early age. Her grandfather was a professional photographer, and he loved to teach Anya all about his art as much as she loved learning about it. As a teen, Anya enjoyed practicing her photography at the rink, taking photos of her fellow skaters while she watched them practice.

One of her favourite photo subjects was a boy who angrily told her not to take pictures of him the first time she tried. She was fifteen and Nikolai Pavlenko was seventeen when they first met at the rink. Nikolai and his family had just moved to town for his father's work, and Anya was excited to see a new face at the skating club.

The problem was, Nikolai didn't want anything to do with Anya at first. She was beautiful and outgoing, and it didn't take him long to work out that she was the most popular girl at the rink and at school. He'd had enough run-ins with the cool girls at his old school, and he wasn't interested in being the butt of the cool kids' jokes. He'd already had his heart broken by a girl like that, and he wasn't about to fall for it twice.

Anya didn' t know any of that at first, though. She persisted, until eventually he agreed (grudgingly) to go out for food with Anya after practice one day, and let her take pictures of him. Slowly, he began to trust her, and before too long, they were inseperable. A lot of Anya's friends told her that she could do better, but she insisted she'd found the person she liked, and that was that.

They dated on an off throughout the rest of their teens and early twenties, and remained friends even during their "off" periods. When she was twenty-three and he was twenty-five, they married. Their married only lasted about three years, however. Between their families constantly asking when they were going to have children, their precarious financial situation, and the demands of both of them being in a highly competitive sport, there was a lot of strain on their marriage. The other problem was that Anya was restless, not because she didn't love Nikolai, but because she wasn't quite ready to settle down.

The final straw was when Nikolai seriously injured his knee in a competition, and was told by the orthopaedic surgeon and sports therapist that although he'd make a nearly complete recovery, he'd most likely not be able to compete again. He felt like the decision to retire from competing was made for him, and he was both angry and depressed. Anya, who was still competing, didn' t know how to handle this last thing, and she left. It was a decision she regretted, but once she was out the door, he was too hurt and angry to allow her to come back.

When he eventually did speak to her again, she realized it was too late to save their marriage. They agreed to end it, but they tried to stay friends. It took a while, but they were able to mend their friendship at least, even if they didn't get back together as a couple. They both agreed that they still loved each other but that they were better as friends than as husband and wife.

When Anya isn't busy pursuing her passions (photography, travelling, men, dancing), she enjoys knitting and reading. Her favourite way to relax is to get a cup of tea, curl up in a cozy chair and work on her latest knitting project.

[sasukesun]

Hii Bella. How's your class going?

hello anon! well i actually don’t have much classes now. 5th and 6th grades of med school here in brasil are what we call “boarding school”. it’s basically an (unpaid) internship in the uni’s hospital, which is a teaching hospital, and we go through the most important areas in medicine. i decided to start on surgery so this semester will be surgical areas only (ob-gyn, surgery, medical center, orthopaedics etc) and next semester will be only clinic. on surgery we spend three weeks on each area, now i’m in gyneaecology, two weeks from now i’ll be on ob-gyn emergency then general surgery I etc etc etc. we obviously don’t do the same things graduated doctors do but we do some procedures under supervision, help on surgeries, evolve patients, assist patients on ambulatories etc. we still have a few classes, but they are now more focused on the residency exam and practical stuff as well. it’s been great really, i feel like i’ve learned more in a week and a half than in four years lol, it’s also physically tiring, but much better than sitting on a chair to listen to someone talk