#originally posted May 12

[madreesatelvanni]

Apologies for the delay, dear readers. I'd have written sooner, alas, Aratron and I have been making our preparations for our tri-annual trip to Necrom. The visit itself is a formality, mind you. Yet, in our preparations, one of Aratron's experiments escaped its cage and we had to spend a few days chasing the stinky little vvardvark down.

Do not ever introduce intellect fortification potions into a vvardvark's diet if you wish to keep it as a pet.

But perhaps it was for the best; during our rests between chases I could take my time and relax with The Locked Room. Seeing as we are dealing here with a work of fiction rather than a political treatise, we shall be shifting our focus away from rhetoric. Instead, we'll be looking towards characterization, as well as setup and payoff. Once again, we shall be analyzing only a handful of passages, to keep things brief.

Our first stop is to analyze the first three passages of the book.

"Yana was precisely the kind of student her mentor Arthcamu despised: the professional amateur. He enjoyed all the criminal types who were his usual pupils at the stronghold, [...] They were always interested in simple solutions, the easy way, but people like Yana were always looking for exceptions, possibilities, exotica. For pragmatists like Arthcamu, it was intensely vexing.

"The Redguard maiden would spend hours in front of a lock, prodding at it with her wires and picks, flirting with the key pins and driver pins, exploring the hull with a sort of casual fascination that no delinquent possesses. Long after her fellow students had opened their test locks and moved on, Yana was still playing with hers. The fact that she always opened it eventually, no matter how advanced a lock it was, irked Arthcamu even further.

"'You are making things much too difficult,' he would roar, boxing her ears. 'Speed is of the essence, not merely technical know-how. I swear that if I put the key to the lock right in front of you, you'd still never get around to opening it.'"

The opening here gives us a strong choice of words to mull over regarding characterization. Yana is immediately singled out from Arthcamu's typical stock, labled as a "professional amateur", and always seeking "exceptions, possibilities, exotica". In short, Lyttumly paints the picture that Yana is taking these classes for the love of lockpicking as an art. She has no intention of breaking and entering into anything.

Further, Lyttumly makes some very specific word choices in regards to Yana's age. While he never gives an exact age for either Yana, Arthcamu, nor any of the other students, he introduces Yana as a "maiden", and from then on is always referring to her as a "girl". Our protagonist is not an adult, either she is a child or she is a teenager. Regardless of which, she is always "flirting" with her tools with a "casual fascination", and always opens her locks eventually, "irk[ing]" her teacher. Not only, then, is Yana painted with a playfulness, but she is shown to be a prodigy. Yana is very good at what she does.

Yet, Arthcamu nonetheless is frustrated with her. His focus is wholeheartedly on the time spent on a lock. Thus, his ire. I have little to say about the third paragraph on its own here. Though, I will say, think of what else Lyttumly may have said instead of "roar". "Yell"? "Scream"? Neither convey what "roar" does. To roar is primal. To roar is to express a deep rage from within. Arthcamu is at his wit's end here.

On to setup & payoff, we'll take a look at the fifth paragraph of part two. After Arthcamu traps Yana in a cage with a slumbering vampire, Yana gains the inspiration to trick Arthcamu into the same cage under the guise of testing her "unpickable lock," further sweetening the deal by telling him that she'd leave the class soon after.

"'I need to leave now,' called Yana from the other side of the door. [...] It's getting dark, and even though you aren't able to unlock the door, the vampire might be less proud about using the key to escape. Remember when you said 'If I put the key to the lock right in front of you, you'd still never get around to opening it'?'"

The payoff is subtle and easy to miss; Arthcamu certainly did. But Yana here is giving Arthcamu a hint as to the key's whereabouts. It's only when Arthcamu fails to open the lock and the vampire attacks him that he takes notice of the key around its neck.

It's important to take note of the cyclical nature of this narrative. Arthcamu berates Yana for taking her time, decides to trap her in a deadly time trial. In revenge, Yana devises an unpickable lock, traps Arthcamu in the same trial. When brute force fails, Arthcamu makes an attempt at Yana's casual style of lockpicking, and still fails. The narrative loops around itself in such a satisfying manner.

While not all narratives need be so cyclical, always bear in mind the importance of setup and payoff. On that note, Aratron and I have taken to calling the vvardvark "Yana", in honor of the character. The little creature's escape artistry has become somewhat endearing, and Aratron hopes to study Yana's capabilities.

[tomatette]

Episode XIV

more [or click here for more roommate shenanigans]

[bl0ssom-skies]

Merry Christmas everyone! 🎄

[basoogil]

its spocko time again wahoo

[luck-of-the-drawings]

when i was in highschool one o my biggest coping mechanisms was drawing all the kids i hated getting killed and eaten and killed. and well. time is a slowly ascending spiral. you will find patterns.(i work as a blackjack dealer. gamblers are FASCINATING

[maicaronns]

its my day

[larissa-the-scribe]

Inktober, Day 12 — Spicey

Larissa judges her twin's culinary choices (they're getting ready to watch the World Cup) (rumo a hexa ✌🤞)

[dazzelmethat]

HOLD UP!! I'M FEELING SO INCREDIBLY NOSTALGIC FOR MY HIGH SCHOOL ART..

I frequently go through my old deviantart for prompt ideas

I WAS SO SO SO MEAN TO THESE PIECES THINKING IF I THOUGHT OF ONLY THEIR FAULTS I COULD GET BETTER FASTER.

Even art from middle school when I actually was a child I'm still so mean...

Why did hate make me feel like I could progress faster??

I wish I could be nicer to the parts of myself that once was..

If they were real they'd forgive me I think.

[quibbs126]

I feel like the more we see the Ancients and Dark Enchantress Cookie, the more the prologue doesn’t make sense

Like, from what the prologue tells us, the Five Heroes fought against Dark Enchantress Cookie, then Dark Enchantress takes the five Soul Jams and they’re shattered, and in the wake of her and Pure Vanilla’s spell clashing, the five heroes, Dark Enchantress Cookie, and the Vanilla Kingdom all disappear (also the rest of their kingdoms are supposed to essentially crumble over time, but that’s less important)

And the game seems to go for the most part with this up until the reveal of Dark Enchantress Cookie’s true identity as White Lily Cookie. But honestly, I think that’s fine. Honestly I think it does work with what the prologue shows of her. Yes there’s now the confusion of why there’s essentially two White Lilies, but there’s also been evidence to show that there’s more to this story that we don’t know, and that there will be an explanation. Everything else however seems to be as we were told

In Pure Vanilla’s storyline, things seem to still line up. Now that Dark Enchantress Cookie has been freed, so have Pure Vanilla Cookie and the Vanilla Kingdom, and while we don’t see it, you could assume so have the others, but perhaps they were just scattered to other corders of Earthbread, hence why we don’t see them. Nothing contradicts that they disappeared too. Pomegranate also mentions how the Soul Jams are in shattered pieces across Earthbread, which we also know from the prologue. She also says that the spell going wrong between him and DE cursed the other Ancients, and yes, he calls it lies initially, the following dialogue implies that it’s true and that he was just telling himself that he didn’t

There is the question of how he suddenly has his whole Soul Jam back, but that’s like the only major contradiction, and it’s not one that’s really touched on. But overall things generally hold up

It’s at Hollyberry’s story that things start to get confusing. Now it does still use the “Soul Jam is shattered” thing (and is frankly the only one to keep that fact, aside from at the end where the Soul Jam suddenly becomes whole again but shush), with her shield’s pieces having been reconstructed over the years, but it’s the other things that start to contradict. For starters, Hollyberry didn’t seem to disappear as a result of the Dark Flour War, rather her disappearance seems to be that she left of her own accord, presumably sometime after the Dark Flour War, implying that she did not disappear. Also her memory problems aren’t like Pure Vanilla’s, since she seems to remember who she is, at least to some degree (I feel like it was very selective what she did and didn’t know, and the whole thing confuses me), but I suppose that doesn’t really matter as Pure Vanilla’s amnesia may just have been some sort of trauma defense thing, and thus just personal to him. I mean, Dark Enchantress remembers who she is

…I felt like I had more contradictions for her, but now I feel like the only major one here is that it’s implied that she didn’t disappear, but she stayed and went back to her kingdom

Oh wait, there’s also the fact that the Hollyberry Kingdom is fine and prospering, other than the whole dragon thing but no one seems too bothered by that. The whole idea that the world is suffering without the Ancients, specifically their own kingdoms, or that they were ever absent, just doesn’t feel like it’s there

But now let’s move on to Dark Cacao’s storyline, which I feel has the most contradictions

Hollyberry’s story feels a bit ambiguous whether the Ancients disappeared, but in Dark Cacao’s it outright says no they did not. Dark Cacao has been here and nothing implies he ever left, at least not for a significant period of time. Also, he has his whole Soul Jam, and again, nothing implies that he lost that or had to reconstruct it. He’s just had it the whole time. Both of these directly contradict the prologue

And while yes, his kingdom is suffering, and it’s partially because he lost his way, it wasn’t because of the Dark Flour War, rather this seems to have been a much more recent development with Affogato Cookie and particularly Dark Choco’s betrayal and exile. While some evidence may suggest things got worse for them after the Dark Flour War (in Dark Choco’s memories, his younger self seems to imply that the kingdom is isolating itself and is worse off for it), but things didn’t reach that breaking point until after Dark Choco’s banishment

Maybe that’s why the Dark Cacao storyline feels weird to me, because the conflict didn’t start because of things that happened in the Dark Flour War, nor does that seem to have had much effect on Dark Cacao or the kingdom, but rather it was because of something entirely separate

But yeah, going back to how things are presented to us now, the Ancients, other than Pure Vanilla alongside Dark Enchantress Cookie, never disappeared, their Soul Jams might have remained whole and with the heroes, and all the kingdoms seem to be doing fine (Dark Cacao’s not so much, but that’s due to external forces). So basically, pretty much all the points we see in the prologue don’t add up

Honestly at some point I start to feel like what happened in the prologue didn’t actually happen and rather that was just a fabricated story, and that we end up seeing what really happened

[giratina-plushie]

what this is teaching me is that im funnier and more correct and i should make more posts

[lesbianredhoodedmercenary]

yeah i'm also. kind of done with n corp at this point. canto 3 was very good but it almost feels antithetical to it, at least imo, to have the n sinclair identity. and you're so right about not getting an identity for rodya, she should have been the tingtang gangleader if we're not going to get any more canto 2 ids!

Yeah, I think N-Corp works well as antagonists but they also work in small doses. I don't need any more of them than we got in Canto III if I'm being honest.

And, as someone who's not a big fan of "Bad Ending AUs" or whatever the N-Corp Sinclair just feels like. why does he exist? Sinclair's conflict was about his bodily autonomy, with both extreme ends of the spectrum being him losing it. (getting surgery he doesn't want because it's what's expected of him. or becoming a violent religious extremist who will inevitably end up brainwashed because N-Corp uses their singularity to make their employees eat false memories to keep them compliant.) We don't need to see what one of the worst endings for Sinclair would be, especially because the whole deal with the themes of his book are moving beyond the black and white "good and evil" way of thinking about the world.

I'm saying this as someone who enjoys tragedy stories too, I think that when writing a tragedy, you have to make it some parts inevitable. (I have thoughts on why I actually feel that Yuri's death in Canto I is really well written because of this actually. I know that's another controversial opinion so it's a post for another time.) So when we get N-Corp Sinclair it feels. Idk we've already seen the side of this story where it doesn't happen and it's way more compelling to me when Sinclair doesn't fall down the rabbit hole. It also kinda proves Kromer right that in some world, he would be just like her. It feels just like the edgiest, worst possible ending for no real reason.

And as for ids for the other cantos, I wish we got more than 2 but. no we get 5 (maybe 6 depending on what the 00 for this banner is) N-Corp ones.

I think G-Corp Gregor goes hand in hand with the themes of his book. Alienation from society, and feeling like society is disgusted by him as a whole, represented by becoming less human.

And alas I don't think we'll get to see a Yurodive Rodya but it would be interesting to see how that would explore her desires to be a hero and the hollowness of exceptionalism.

Tingtang Rodya would also be fun, just 'cause.

However N-Corp Sinclair goes against the themes of his book, about things not being split into black-and-white good and evil. Because he does just go down one path without finding enlightenment.

[eemoo1o-kuroo]

I know the “My R” song is outdated a bit on the internet, but imagine an animatic with Sk8, for Langa. Braided hair girl is perhaps Cherry about Joe or Tadashi about Adam, or even Hiromi about his boss; the petite girl is Miya. “Someone every day” would then include flashes to Cherry, Joe, Reki, etc. Eventually, there’s the final physical apparatus: Adam.

[dragonsgirl572]

You know what? Fuck it.

Mar 13 -> The amount of notes that this post gets by the end of April is the amount of words I'll write for one of my books.

Update: May 1 -> AND TIME!! Thank you all so much for participating! The amount of words I got, at the time of me looking at this post, are...

Holy shit that's a lot-

Update: May 2 -> Currently outlining a storyline! I couldn't decide which fandom I wanted to do so I'm just doing a self-indulgent crossover.

Update: May 12 -> Got an idea for an Optimus-centric story. I'm keeping my original storyline but I'm started to plan out this new one.

Update: Jun 1 -> Nevermind. Currently rewriting a story of mine. I think that'll be the chosen one. Though, I have seven planned chapters so I dunno how the hell I'm gonna do it.

Update: Jun 28 -> Nevermind x2 lol. I'm continuing on with the Optimus-centric story. It was inspired by Not A Prime Situation and it's a really good book, I highly recommend it. I asked permission from the author to start writing and I got it so chapter 1 is in the works! (P.S. I'm gonna wait until after all 21 chapters are finished to start posting just in case I lose motivation halfway and stop writing for 2 years again.)

Update: Nov 6 -> Sorry y'all, suffered through multiple depressive episodes and a massive writer's block. I'll try my best to write this though.

[2dmax]

Abood's Wife Needs Medical Treatment (NEW UPDATE DEC 17th 2024: DONATE VIA PAYPAL BELOW)

Original post text:

@abood-gaza7 needs $135 today for his wife's treatment tomorrow. They also need to buy clothes for the winter, and every day the price of all goods in Gaza increases.

I wanted to make a special little donation drive for Abood and his wife. For TODAY (11/02/2024) only, donate to grow this flower and help Abood's wife get the care she needs. You MUST message me with proof of donation for it to count towards this flower's growth!

Tiers: 🌱🍃🌱🍃🌱🍃

$5 -- a drop of water

$10 -- a cup of water

$15 -- a watering can full of water

$20 -- add a good luck charm (you may describe it!)

$50 -- plant a new seed (you may describe it!)

$135 -- DM me for an original full artwork gift

12/17/2024: Abood has given me an update that his wife’s condition is worsening and more money needs to be raised for her surgery. Please use PayPal to donate to him.

Donate the amounts above to his PayPal, and for any donation made today 12/17/2024 that you inform me of, we can continue to grow this flower! 🌱 🪴

Updates will -not- be live as they happen, but I will honor each donation I am informed of. I am not affiliated with Abood’s campaign, and his campaign and need for donations will continue and be independent of thisnpost.

Can't donate? Share + Crosspost

THANK YOU! 💞💌

Update 00

[bluebeetle]

(Edit: *EVER not Never, typo but you can't edit polls after making them)

Pick the number closest to whatever number you actually got, there's only 12 options and I didn't want to clutter this with too many numbers... I may make another one if it ends up really skewed to the lower numbers, but I used my own posts as reference.

[dreamteamsnaparchive]