#originally a discord message so sorry for the ramble

[alangdorf]

Hi :) I finally made my Magolor conspiracy theory board! I know the text is small so I’m gonna write out a transcription plus all the stuff I couldn’t fit without making everything completely illegible. Be warned, this is gonna get long.

By the way, please don’t take this overly seriously; I’m just shaking thoughts out of my head. I used to be all “yeah Magolor is exactly the type of character I would like but I’m just not that crazy about him.” But then the Epilogue came along and we had a blackout where I barely had internet access for a couple days and these two things combined flipped a switch in my brain and I thought about/talked about nothing but Magolor for literally a week straight. And so here we are!

First off, a note about the Another Dimenion creatures (Doomers, Darpas, Deppas, Dippas, and Dupas). In Japanese, Sphere Doomers are called Sphere Lowpers – Lowper being the romaji spelling used in the files, although in Japanese it’s pronounced Rōpā (ろーぱー), and most likely originating from the English words “interloper” and/or “robber”. B and p are closely related in Japanese writing, both being a slight alteration of the consonant h (via diacritic marks called tenten [two little lines] and maru [a circle]), so は is ha, ば is ba, and ぱ is pa.

The other creatures are variations on Rōpā with different vowels in the first syllable (they’re actually called morae [singular: mora] instead of syllables though): Rāpā, Rēpā, Rīpā, and Rūpā. These are changed in English to match the fact that Doomer starts with D: Darpas, Dippas, and Dupas, according to the Magolor Epilogue song titled “VS Darpa-Dippa-Dupas”, and then Deppa for Rēpā as a logical extrapolation of that.

(Side note: since this game came out before Kirby localization teams were given a lot of guidance, the names in other languages for Doomers are alllllll over the place in terms of meaning. Sphere Chimera, Sphere Spook, Spectre Sphere, and my favorite is the Italian, “Fenix Sferix”, meaning Phoenix Sphere. For their translation of “VS Darpa-Dippa-Dupas” they went with the same play on the vowels, so it’s “VS Fanix-Finix-Funix”. But then?? What are their Deppas called???? Probably Fonix but it’s still funny lol)

Now is probably a good time to talk about Magolor’s name; get all the translation fun facts out of the way. In Japanese, his name is Mahoroa (まほろあ). “Mahō” is the word “magic” in Japanese, so the English version starting with “Mago”, derived from “magic”, is a good close translation. “Lor” and “roa” are both their respective language’s name for the Lor Starcutter, and are roughly equivalent in Japanese pronunciation. The devs have said in a Miiverse post that Magolor’s name was also partially derived from the Japanese word “Mahoroba” (まほろば), which is the name for the concept of a “far-off land full of bliss and peace” (per the Wikipedia page for Mahoroba), which could certainly be translated as “paradise” (note on that in a second). With ba and pa being almost the same letter, it makes me wonder if Mahoroba and Rōpā (まほろば and ろーぱー) are meant to be so similar as a cheeky wordplay thing. Mostly because I think it would be really funny if that was the case.

The aforementioned note which is about the meaning of “Magolor” in the language the Jamba speak: there is a pause screen in Star Allies that lists a bunch of translations for words in their language, most notable here being “Mafo = lie” and “Lor = paradise”. “Mafo” having a different third letter than “Mago” is hardly an issue; fo and ho are written the same in Japanese unless you’re being really pedantic about loanword spelling (ホ vs フォ), “Maho” being equivalent to “Mago” is already established, and Star Allies had a notoriously messy localization anyways, so I would hardly be surprised if they just forgot to change it to “Mago”.

Also, given the fact that Return to Dreamland Deluxe added a line for 100%ing the game that clarifies that Mags was lying about being from Halcandra but studied Ancient culture there for years and that this whole post posits the theory that he was originally some sort of Another Dimension creature like the Doomers and co. (Side note: in the context of whatever possible relationship the Doomers and Ancients used to have [Rampaging Doomers are implied by Sphere Doomers EX pause screen lore to be ancient Doomers and have the gear aesthetic and that could mean any number of things], and the limited individuality of the Doomers/Darpa-Deppa-Dippa-Dupas and their subservience to Grand Doomer, I see this less as cultural appropriation and more like uhhhh trans coding, kinda. Please don’t come at me about this; I often joke that Kit, my nickname, is short for Catboy Discourse but I don’t actually want to fight on the internet about this catboy), the fact that this pause screen is for a version of Unhooded Hyness from the SAME UPDATE that added Magolor to the game is so hysterical. Maggie rocks up to a fight with someone he’s never heard of (Hyness claims in his rant that the Ancients erased his sect from their history after the schism), they reveal themself to be an actual Ancient, and the game itself calls him a liar???!? Like dude you had at least one other outfit you could’ve worn today lol

Anyways, I have some loose appearance similarities to point out between Magolor and the Doomers and co. His ears are shaped, striped (his hood is at least, though I know it’s more similar to Hyness’ ears), positioned, and even move similarly to the top two projectiles on a Deppa. The ears do have more jiggle physics now, unlike the Deppa projectiles, but they’re often portrayed as horns instead of ears in his boss forms (and concept art but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything for current Mags) anyways. Also, Dupas’ feet are a little strange. With the way that they move back and forth unrelated to how the Dupa actually moves and the way that they can stand upside down, it definitely could be that those appendages are disconnected similar to Magolor’s hands and the Dupas actually move by floating around. Admittedly they’re not the same color yellow and this one is a vague connection at best, though the Dupas are also slightly egg-shaped like Magolor. Oh, and in Magolor Epilogue his projectiles and the Rampaging Doomers’ projectiles look almost exactly the same to me. I could also point out the fact that Magolor’s 2nd phase/Soul form has a large mouth like the Doomers, Deppas, and Dupas, though it doesn’t look very similar. Girl what is that thing. Why do you look like W.D. Gaster.

A slightly stronger connection is the eyes. Flat yellow eyes (upright ovals with variations for expression in this case) aren’t that uncommon on Kirby creatures, but a lot of notable examples, such as Hyness, the other Jambas, and Wester, have their eyes on a black background, likely to symbolize shadowed, glowing eyes. In Hyness’ case at the very least, this is proven by his unhooded appearance. Magolor, on the other hand, has his on a brown background, which, as indicated by his visible ear in the Epilogue, is just his skin color. (Meta Knight is similar in this regard, but he has his own whole thing going on species-wise, and his eyes were white when not shadowed until like Brawl anyways which just supports my point.) It being a solid color, and comparatively a dull one at that, is dissimilar to the Doomers, though it makes sense with his design to not make it too busy. Also a couple of the Doomer types have different eye colors, but that’s also clearly for the purposes of making a good palette.

My favorite evidence, however, that links Magolor to the Doomers is his first phase boss theme, Welcome Your New Overlord (née Under My Control). I think it’s so similar to Another Dimension (the song that plays in the rift segments before each Doomer fight) and VS Sphere Doomer (context self-explanatory) that they were intentionally written in the same style. (Grand Doomer is also somewhat similar, but to a lesser extent in my opinion.) All these songs have synth chords through most (less in Grand Doomer) of them that, well. I didn’t take enough music theory to be able to identify chords more complex than triads, but I would describe them as “dissonant” or “jazzy”, and they step around to different keys relatively frequently (Oops, just realized I wrote “chord structure” instead of “chord progression” on the board, oh well. It’s probably non-functional harmony anyway but either way, I just meant this). They also have very similar rhythms, playing the same chords multiple times in a row, often falling on offbeats (again, Grand Doomer is the outlier here). Pre-final boss themes in Kirby are often written to be complex and disorienting, but the way that these songs are similar is specific enough that I think it’s reasonable to assume it was on purpose. Also can I just say how much I love Welcome Your New Overlord? Amazing song.

Overall, the trick to all Kirby lore is trying to judge whether things are done by the developers for the purposes of gameplay and game experience or for the purposes of canon lore, and I’m not gonna make a judgement call on this one, but I really like it as a headcanon at the very least. A couple more related headcanons about Magolor for reading this far: Not sure whether I think that Mags named the Lor after himself or himself after the Lor, but I think for the “Mago” part, he either named himself after the Ancient word for “lie” on purpose as an inside joke for only himself (not knowing the Jamba were still around to call him on it) or he named himself after the Ancient word for ��magic” and it just so happens to be either a homonym or synonym for the word “lie”, possibly because of negative opinions toward the Jamba. Possibly both options, even. Also I think the reason he talks Like That, at least in English (in Japanese he just uses katakana instead of hiragana a lot, which, katakana is usually used for foreign words so it gives a “foreigner” feeling), is because he’s a very studious and book-smart foreign language learner, but unfortunately the first native speaker of Kirby’s language he met was Marx (there’s a well established fan theory that he has met Marx before based on his dialogue that he knows someone who knows Kirby) and he internalized entirely too many of his speech patterns. On purpose. Mini speech headcanons: At Merry Magoland he either addresses to the patrons as “parkgoers”, “paying customers” (he doesn’t charge admission but he got used to saying it at the Shoppe and thought it would be funny to continue saying it in an inappropriate situation; it does make some people freak out thinking they were supposed to buy a ticket), or “gamers”. Also during the beginning of Return to Dream Land he laid the flattery on a bit thick with calling the main group “kind strangers” and “my saviors” and he still calls them that sometimes after they’re friends for real just to be annoying.

Thank you for reading!

[scruffyssketchbook]

RAMBLES OF A VERY TIRED AUTHOR CHAN #I lost track bro

Kind of random post, sorry!!! Might delete later 😋 idk

I originally said here that this wasn’t a vent post but it might be one after all oops. (I’m sorry I’m an over-sharer and this is my ramble blog.)

(Trigger Warning- grooming? Pedo behavior?)

So I think I mentioned this here before (like years before, idk), but there is this guy who has been stalking me for forever now or whatever. Like, he’s basically the reason I don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know on Discord and made it so only friends can message me, cause this man would pretend to be other people to talk to me. Anyways, on one of his MANY alts that he uses to send messages to me, he basically admitted to grooming me in the Pedo way when I was a minor!!! Fun 🥰🥰🥰🥰 (this is sarcasm)

But like, that literally explains SO MUCH OF THE THINGS IN SSEC, LIKE WHAT????

Like obviously I am not going in detail of the things that were in SSEC cause it makes me uncomfortable, but it does explain a lot of it, and seeing how afterwards I proceeded to get groomed by 2 other people back to back to BACK, LIKE. For one thing

I definitely feel like the tonal shift in the series was due to all of these events. Of course, I’m not going to get into every bad thing that happened to me due to being a naive girl making a stupid pokemon webcomic (sadly it’s a lot lol), but like, I didn’t even realize that I was groomed by multiple people until I was in my 20’s. (I mean, I am in my 20’s right now, but you know) and I literally was not aware that stalker man was being a pedo towards me when I was a minor until he admitted to me that he was being one- RECENTLY.

I do feel like how SSEC ultimately turned out was due to all of this. For the longest time, I was just surrounded by a lot of negativity. And, I kind of just kind of have the natural inclination to help people or be kind to people, and that ultimately just caused people to see that and use me over and over and over again, causing both the tonal shift in SSEC as well as me closing myself more and more off to people, which- really sucks honestly. (And only now I realize that that is literally the same thing that happened to Vay, wtf)

Like- I want friends. Nothing Romantic, no strings attached, no weird power dynamics, just PLATONIC friends. But I’m extremely shy and awkward, and ofc, extremely closed off ^^;;; So it’s pretty hard for that to happen, I guess.

But I suppose that is why I like/obsess about Box 31 so much.

Box 31 is basically just wish fulfillment for me.

Because, like. The only thing I’ve ever really wanted, the thing I have been looking for, for years, are friends. And, the whole story of box 31 are outcasts making friends, and supporting each other, and growing together, and that makes me very very happy.

Living vicariously through my characters!!! I want them to be happy, I want them to smile, I want others to smile too!!! I don’t want to keep drawing sad things, yeah I like drama, there will be drama in Box 31, but in ssec it’s just so endless. I always wanted the characters to be happy at the end, but where is that end if there is an endless sea of issues?

Idk. I just remember me being freshly 18, crying on the ground (cringe ik) to my way older roommate that I just wanted friends, and I wonder if things would have been better if someone just took my hand and became the friend I needed at the time instead of me becoming totally isolated and the stalker using that to get closer to me.

Idk 😋 as I said, might delete later 😋 just kinda a bit cringe lmao

I just wanna keep drawing my Stupid Silly Eeveelutions~ la la laa

Oh. Speaking of that actually.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

always always thinking about your post that was like “normal has a very high threshold for being loved that is nearly impossible to meet and he will do *anything* to feel validated” and then today in the discord during the part where willy reveals it could’ve been either normal or scary, will said “willy fucked up normal would burn the entire world down for the tiniest crumb of validation” and just. screaming screaming forever about this boy’s inability to ever feel loved enough, he is every webweaving post about always devouring and never feeling full from love, this boy is RAVENOUS and it’s hard to understand how the oak good-boy morality can even supersede that, he has every trait imaginable to become a villain and it feels like the only thing preventing that is the desire to be good, bc tbh I don’t think he wants to be good more than he wants to be loved

SORRY FOR TAKING ALMOST TWO FUCKING WEEKS TO ANSWER THIS ANON!

Eheh, firstly *thank you* because this message is very sweet and made me extremely happy. The post you’re talking about took a good while to write and came with a lot of anxiety so it’s very nice to hear that you’ve kept fragments of it with you, I really do appreciate that!!! 💜

I’d debated for a bit on answering this privately to be honest with you, as not every fire I’ve sparked is one whose flames I wish to fan, so to speak, but everything you wrote is just so on-point and well-articulated that I couldn’t resist. Otherwise. *Ahem*. I know it's very very silly to respond to a response about an essay with what is essentially another essay, but you see, in thinking of how to answer your message, I got a little caught amongst many other things that have been on my mind... And I've seen some takes that have annoyed me for one reason or another and couldn't decide how to address those and. Well. Ultimately I decided that the stuff I wanted to talk about was connected *enough* to the stuff brought up in your message (as well as in my original post) that I could put it all together, soooooooo if you'll entertain me rambling once more~

Let's start by saying that, I recently saw a take going around stating that “Scary’s internal issues caused her external issues while Normal’s external issues caused his internal issues” (among a number of other statements that I frankly found pretty questionable), and I must say, for reasons that I hope to explain, I disagree with this assertion on both accounts!

In Scary’s case, this statement completely erases and undermines the trauma of her dad walking out, and what that does not only to her confidence and sense of self-worth, but to her relationship with her mother as well. And the degree of the impact of this external trauma on her internal view towards and treatment of herself is clear as day just by looking at the stark contrast between Terri and Scary. Scary (Terri) is someone who once had confidence in herself and could find validation and motivation internally, most recently evidenced by Terri's words of encouragement to Scary whilst under beacon of hope:

But then her dad leaves, and things get harder at home, and Scary starts to fight with her mom (her mom who she once called her best friend!!!), and she starts to feel worthless and unlovable- something that only gets worse with time as Willy alienates her from the rest of the group, case in point with this revealing exchange:  

No one’s told her they’re proud of her in a long time (sound familiar??),

her teachers at school shut her down when she tries to speak her mind or otherwise dismiss her behavior as “acting out” seemingly without any sort of intervention or attempt to actually check in with her,

[the above teen fact is from episode 31]

Only then, in response to her diminished sense of self-worth does she begin to cut herself off from the rest of the world and from her former self, most importantly quitting soccer (which we know matters a lot to her!),

and those things leave her even more vulnerable and supportless and ashamed. Not to mention all the mixed emotions she must feel when Terry walks into the picture, between actually liking him but not being able to see his love as genuine due to her relationship with her bio dad and all the frustration and shame she must feel as a result.

This is not to claim that Scary’s internal struggles do not inform a lot of what happens to her and the people around her over the run of the season- of course they do! (In fact some of the later things mentioned above are examples of that- I guess I got a bit carried away). But Scary’s major internal struggles that affect her throughout the course of the adventure are preceded by a slew of important external events that negatively affect her psyche and are in many cases out of her control. Scary’s internal struggles did not originate in a vacuum, and I absolutely would not say that they “caused” the bulk of what she has been through.

Unlike Scary, Norm’s excessive dependency on external validation to feel like he’s worth anything begins when he is very young. [Emphasis on “excessive” here, since obviously everyone requires validation from others to some degree, the point being just that this trait is so very pronounced in Normal and, as I argued a bit in the post anon is referring to, usually the most important factor informing his courses of action, superseding (but not implying the absence of) any desire to be good and help those around him. Will’s statement (the one which anon quotes) seems to corroborate this.] We know that things go so far back from Sparrow’s account in episode 17:

It’s important that this is about Normal’s kindergarten experiences too, because it tells us that Normal’s predominant internal issues go back farther than this and hence were not caused in and of themselves by his peers- instead being perhaps more fundamental to who he is as a person.

This is not to say that external events do not exacerbate the state of Normal’s psyche. In his youth most notably, we can infer that he interpreted Hero’s treatment (which of course he did not understand at the time to be her training) as favoritism, and I think it’s pretty clear by this point that his resentment of her is tied to the degradation of self-esteem that he experienced as a result.

Then of course there is the dance. Sparrow’s words to Normal during the dance obviously consist of a very pivotal moment for Norm within the context of the season, but I think it’s important to remember and not erase the fact that Normal’s internal issues with validation do not begin at the dance, as established in the kindergarten case but also further exemplified by Norm’s primary motive in becoming the school’s mascot in the first place (to get everybody to like him). I think it’s important to remember this in part since it informs so much of Normal’s reaction to what his father has to say, immediately afterwards but also throughout the whole rest of the season. No kid wants to hear that their parent isn’t proud of them, but the severity of the response to this sort of statement is going to vary drastically depending on the person, and in Norm’s case, given his natural disposition, it’s devastating. [and I swear there’s a teen talk moment where Will says basically this but I can’t find it for the life of me rn damn it lol maybe I’ll edit in the clip later if I do]

Of course in this specific case, one can still mostly say that the problem stems from outside of Normal, and that his preexisting issues exacerbate his response but are definitely not the cause of it. Outside of this instance, however, this is not always true! In fact, Normal’s excessive dependency on external validation and related rejection sensitivity (negatively) inform a large amount of his interactions with those around him, particularly Lincoln and Taylor (imagine me underlining “Taylor” several times as I say this). Truthfully that’s a whole ramble on its own, but with respect to more recent events, I have to admit that I was genuinely quite irked to find a lot of people blaming Taylor and Lincoln for Norm’s response to their uh. mech shenanigans in episode 37, choosing to frame this as an act of moral failing or even malice on their part, rather than a reflection of Normal’s own issues and room for growth. Lincoln and Taylor were simply focused on the mission at hand, and there was no good reason realistically speaking to have expected them to be aware of Normal’s emotional state at that point in time (or in general, to be aware of the jealousy their bonding moments evoke within Norm- particularly when Normal consistently fails to communicate and address those emotions with them in a manner that is direct and not passive-aggressive). Lincoln in particular is very clearly stated as not even having fun in that moment, very understandably being focused instead on the fact that his friend Scary is around his father, who he just witnessed, you know, murder someone. This is not an instance of the world going against Norm for no good reason other than to put him through it, this is a very clear example of Normal’s internal issues affecting the way he perceives external events in a manner that is not actually very reflective of the reality of the situation, and which of course feeds in further to his cycle of self-loathing (and I won’t go into it here since I sort of did in the post anon is responding to- but Normal’s negative reaction to Lincoln breaking the pick to gain Scary’s trust is another important example of this [tbh all the more so now coupled with the hypocrisy of how he handles the anchor in Goofs but that’s a tangent]). As aforementioned, Norm also struggles a good chunk of the time to actually explain his feelings in a manner that is direct and does not rely on blaming others for not picking up on his dejection, as exemplified in how this discussion goes with Lincoln in the most recent episode:

The treatment from fandom of this whole instance being reflective of a reoccurring issue I tend to have with a large chunk of the fandom, wherein the collective memory of canon tends towards getting warped to account for Norm’s mental state. Sometimes that’s hailing him as some morally-perfect, emotional reincarnate of Henry (as though the pride layer didn’t happen, as though Goofs didn’t happen, as though all of Norm’s relationship with Taylor isn’t what it is- …I feel like I should stop implying stuff about the significance Taylor and Norm’s relationship and not elaborating but it really is an essay in and of itself LOL), other times it’s just downright turning everyone around Normal into a villain, a persistent phenomenon which I sort of illustrated in the above example but also touched upon in an earlier essay (arguing that despite the fandom’s quick jump to villainize him- Lincoln breaking the guitar pick would prove to be an act of love). Sparrow also takes a good brunt of the damage from this. Sparrow saying he’s not proud of Normal gets turned into Sparrow not loving Normal (despite an abundance of proof in canon to the contrary), his apology for what he said and the support he shows for Norm in light of his alternative plan on dealing with the Doodler are completely ignored by most of the fandom, as are any other demonstrations of emotional availability and shows of growth that he displays throughout the course of the season, and the true motives behind Sparrow’s insistence on Normal living a “normal” life- to protect him from the childhood that he but also that Hero had to undergo- is somehow framed as Sparrow actually holding some kind of favoritism for Hero. It’s as though there is a complete inability on a larger scale within the fandom to see Sparrow as separate character outside of the filter of Norm’s emotions, and the other teens (including Hermie) get a similar if less pronounced treatment.

[Actually, I would argue that to some degree all of the kiddads except Terry (and Lark since he’s not officially a dad) tend to be perceived and criticized predominantly through the noise of their respective child’s emotions/behavior. In Grant’s case, Lincoln 1. spends a good part of the earlier half of the season asserting that his dads are the best dads in the world despite everything going on and 2. has a very unfortunate tendency to compartmentalize and push down his negative emotions as much as possible- in typical Wilson fashion- so the complexity and severity of Lincoln’s issues with his dad generally go understated, and only now that Lincoln has begun to be more vocal and upfront about his issues has some of Grant’s parenting finally begun to come under fire, and even then mostly only his more recent transgressions. In Taylor’s case, Taylor’s emotional security/stability and general fondness for his dad mean that Nicky is being hailed by many people as “the best dad” where in fact Nicky- while certainly helping the teens out in many ways and perhaps even acting as a friend to them- has done just about jack shit for Taylor as a *father*, and really if Taylor has anyone to thank for being as well-adjusted as he is now, it’s definitely his mom! But I digress.]

Normal and Scary are very similar, but the way fandom treats them is very different. People (mostly) seem to be able to acknowledge that Scary, in spite of her mistakes and flaws, is a scared, tired kid with a good heart who is capable and deserving of love. In Normal’s case, I just can’t seem to shake the impression that the fandom (in general) would rather strip Norm of all the things that make his character complex, and nuanced, and flawed, reducing him to an utterly uninteresting husk of a character before depicting him as anything other than a perfect goody-two-shoes who has never hurt anybody in his entire life or daring to acknowledge the fact that “Normal has been through a lot, is hurt, and deserves a good support system and emotional validation” and “Normal can at many times be his own worst enemy, sometimes makes mistakes that affect those around him, and has room to grow emotionally” are notions that can and should coexist. Or at least, that's my two cents on the matter.

[mariska]

hi friends. mainly making this post on here in case my friends have noticed me absent socially from pretty much all my main interactions social media places cus i have very very little to no social skills/energy and i dont want folks worrying about my inability to talk like at all lately even through text instead of voice.

a few days ago my grandpa passed away after a brief amount of time in hospice care with mainly my moms looking after him in shifts. he was in his 90's so it was somewhat expected but it still happened really quick in the grand scheme of things and i'm not coping well at all with it, especially because i was too scared of visiting him these past couple months for multiple reasons having to do with me being immunocompromised more so than usual on a new hormone med i've been taking, my severe agoraphobia, and to be completely honest, i could not bear to see him in a slow state of death because i knew the image would never leave my head.

we were always really close. he was on my non-biological side of my family (i have 2 moms and was born via known donor father so im only genetically related to one side of my family and they don't live in the US) but he was absolutely autistic (never formally diagnosed but fit all the criteria to a T the same way i did before getting diagnosed, like VERY similarly to me it was almost eerie in a good way), he was there when i first started learning how to swim cheering me on when i was very little visiting him and my (also deceased) grandma with my moms, he sent me custom printed birthday + christmas cards using his own scanned family photos and 90's tower computer (that he originally built on his own originally, he loved building computers especially when i was little and it was like The New Home Tech Thing, only reason my family even had a computer when i was growing up is because he custom built one for us and sent us sheets and sheets of instructions on how it all worked and how to install things and such), he gifted me my first digital art tablet in my tweens/early teens (which if you know me, digital art eventually became my main and preferred visual art medium for drawing/painting and i still use the same brand of usb plug in tablets today that the original gifted one was).

anyways. sorry for rambling it's just been. um. like very hard. trying to. get through the days. i also had an extremely re-traumatizing doctor's appointment the same day he died (my mom who took me did not tell me before the appointment and waited until after which i am genuinely so thankful for theres no way i would have been able to go to that appt if i'd had his death on my mind beforehand) and, thankfully again, the doctor i saw is a very very kind trauma-informed woman who was super patient and understanding with me, and knew the appointment would be traumatizing cus we had discussed why that would be at the previous first appointment i had with her and she did all she could on her end to help make it less stressful and scary for me, but, y'know. still brought back some very intense personal trauma that i've only really started trying to mentally process in the past few years.

so that is. a very abridged explanation as to why i have not been able to reply to most messages on here and texts and discord and such and i'm super super sorry about being so MIA. i just do not have the ability to let everyone know individually why i am disappearing in and out from plans and conversations so i'm hoping most of you will see this post here and that way i maybe won't feel as bad as i do about very much unintentionally ghosting so many of you that i truly care about very much 💔

[wiihtigo]

do u have any tips for getting into ocs and developing them tho 🤔😭

Hmm I’ve had ocs in the past and I’ve wondered why I picked and chose favorites among the cast I made and I thjnk for the ones I didn’t gaf about it was because I was forcing myself to make characters filling space because I thought it would make my story look more complete but it just ended up I neglected those ocs because I found nothing about them fun or compelling to spend time on.

With casey I’ve definitely gone full self indulgence which was probably helped by the fact her concept was literally based on a joke self insert character so the fuel for me spending time with her was my intense fixation on booster gold and how much I wanted to destroy hurt kill bite kill punch to death kick kill him 😀

Make things fun for yourself! Don’t shy away from making things that you know you’re already crazy for … I’m not shy about saying casey as a concept is a culmination of a LOT of favorite characters I’ve had in the past like peridot (su), the invader zim and tak storyline, Daffy Duck .. to name a few!

And I spent a long time perfecting her design so that it was fun to draw for me …. I made her a secretary/office lady type character cuz um. I THINK THEYRE HOT? LOL … and I really like that fashion style I draw her in. So she’s almost like a mannequin for me to draw clothes I really like aesthetically. so I really have a lot of fun drawing her ^_^ you can tell by how much I do it LOL

So my number 1 advice in conceptualizing ocs is to make things fun for yourself. Are your favorite charaxters always mad scientists.. you can make one. Do you think rubber aprons are hot. You can give them one. Have you been struggling with your gender identity. You can make your oc a girl with he him probouns. Do you wish columbo was a lesbian.. you can make it happen.

As for development, as soon as I got the basic deets for casey and her role in the story I had for her to paper I found one of those tumbrl oc ask games and just filled out every single question for her. A lot of stuff was made up on the spot but just felt right and most often stuck that way but there’s no shame in making little changes as your oc grows on you and you get better aquatinted with eachother. For example I had the idea initially casey would have rich/well off and well meaning parents who were extremely normal and loved her a lot and it would be kind of a meet the robinsons “THEY ALL HATED ME” dynamic. But I quickly changed it as I thought more about casey because what I have with her and spider feels more.. fitting.

It also helps a ton if you have a friend willing to lend an ear :) and I don’t mean just 50+ messages discord chats (because those are extremely enlightening too) but I mean just posting and posting and posting about your little guy and getting those precious 4 likes on your lore document. I always take this sort of approach with original stuff LOL IF I POST ABOUT CASEY LIKE A LUNATIC FOREVER EVENTUALLY ILL TRICK EVERYONE INTO THINKING THEYRE CASEY FANS…!!!

Sorry for the rambly answer! I hope I was able to say at least 1 crumb of helpfulness

[makomaragi]

Hello! This is out of the blue but a bit ago I discovered your science fics during a late night obscure ship deep dive.. and I got inmediately hooked and binge read your stuff! I finally feel brave enough to comment. I'm in AWE about how good their characterizations are, it feels true to the smaller glimpses we have seen at their personalities but you manage to create a whole new universe about them. Those two are SO romantic also, whether in their early years to as a couple and especially in their "action" scenes lol..

They have such tenderness I might have cried a bit and screamed to my friends about it lol. I want to highlight Picklng up pieces.. BOY what a fic, you describe and convey emotions so well that even if a lot of the topics covered are foreign to me I Feel them and want to root for them.. Seriously the scene with the scar being shown was unironically one of the most touching things I've read. All the other fics are as awesome, I just spent til 5 AM reading that one and don't want to make this ask even longer.

I'm glad someone like you gives those two nerds the development and love they deserve, and whether you ever write more or not (because you're not obligated to!) your work is some of my fav fics ever. You can feel proud. I hope you are doing okay. I also want to say I found your work during a rough patch and if it's okay to say they've helped me a lot.

Apologies if this is too big of a ramble, seriously thank you for writing them. PD: Your fics might or might have not made me pick their origin game back up for the first time in years... And definitely made me love the ship. :)

I am so sorry, I have not checked my messages here in a long time.

Thank you so much, for saying this to me. It means a lot to me, that you took the time to read my super lengthy fics. I wrote them out of wanting to put my silly lil headcanons in to...something? I guess?

But I can't thank you enough, for taking the time to not only read my SUPER long fics, but find my Tumblr and send this to me. I literally have Fennel and Juniper tattooed on me, they are my favorite characters ever, and I will never really be able to explain why, because I don't have an answer. I've been shipping them for 12+ years now, and at some point over the last few years got brave enough to write long things.

I might write more, someday!! Come off anon and add me on discord or whatever if you want, but if not that is okay too. But, thank you. I am glad my fics helped you and didn't traumatize you too much. The subjects they are about are nothing that has ever happened to me in my life, or anything I know much from personal experience by any means, just fucked up headcanons I have for some reason. Sorry I am like this. This is the nicest thing anyone ever said about any of my fics, or art, or anything. Thank you <3

[taralen]

Information

𝕎𝕖𝕝𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕞𝕪 𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘!

I am a fantasy artist and writer based in the USA. This blog is mostly for my art and for sharing others' art. Sometimes, I'll post writings, musings, or theories about a work of fiction that I think warrants some in-depth analysis. I don't have any separate blogs, as I don't see the point in making them. I struggle with a lot of mental health conditions, so I'm really unstable but congenial. Hope you don't mind! Trust me, I am no threat to the public at large! I love making others laugh and smile, so why not just laugh at me, with me? The subject of this blog is primarily art and writing. I do not repost memes if they have nothing to do with either of these two categories.

If you're looking for specific tags, please use this guide:

#my art - Use this tag to filter posts showing only stuff drawn by me

#my writing - Similar to the above but just for writing I've done.

#musings - Random thoughts, journal posts, or ramblings, aka actual "blog" posts.

#merch haul - Posts related to collectibles I've obtained that I want to share with others.

#not my art - Filter posts to only show art I've reblogged by other people.

You can find me in a few other locations, but I'm only going to list my active ones here.

DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/taralen For most of my completed pieces. The only sketches you'll find here are for clients who commissioned sketchy pieces.

Myfigurecollection: https://myfigurecollection.net/profile/Taralen For my figure and hobby-related stuff (doujin, merch, etc.) I sometimes build my own figures (aka Garage Kits.) I've been collecting valuables since I was a kid, so you can consider me an experienced collector. Have questions to avoid getting scammed? I'm the one to poke!

Pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/3540237 [[JP Only. Also 18+ but censored.]]

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/taralen Uncensored 18+ options, Hi-res versions, process compilations, and original pieces (usually concept art) I don't upload publicly.

Discord: [[Private]] I love meeting new people, but I would rather speak to someone privately on here first before I share this. I'm extremely chatty, so be warned!

Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/Taralen I'm the least active on here, but I might as well include it.

DNI IF YOU: Nothing offends me. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) JK I am a very curious and open-minded person. If you have views that don't align with mine, we might not have the best conversation, but it can certainly be an enlightening or interesting one! What are my views? Well, we learn these things from each other through polite conversation. Exposing myself to different lifestyles and opinions is enriching. Who knows? Even a hateful individual might change their mind when speaking to someone with kindness and understanding. I'm open to being followed, messaged, etc., by just about anyone, even people who I vehemently disagree with, UNLESS: ❎ You've committed or condoned acts of animal, child, elderly, or disabled person abuse/assault. We don't need slimes like that anywhere. Anyone that harms real innocents is a piece of human scum, regardless of whether or not they fit the categories I listed. ❎ You're just trying to sell some sex service to me. Sorry, but I am not interested. ❎ Condone or committed acts of necrophilia on deceased humans or animals. Seriously, what the $%^& is wrong with you? ❎ You are a stalker. Kind of obvious, but I had one in the past, so don't act like I forgot. 8^)

If you have similar interests, feel free to message me or ask me questions. I am lonely, so it's nice to talk to new people now and then. If you think my ideas, "headcanons," or interpretations are stupid, then that's fine. I don't expect everyone to like them. It is what it is.

Any and all reblogs are appreciated. If you repost my stuff like, say, on Reddit, please give credit and link back to the source, whether it be here or somewhere else. I always like seeing my work shared.

[intoxicatingintimacyy]

Criminal Minds anyone??

Hey hey hey!  I’m currently craving a Criminal Minds roleplay, which I know is kind of a longshot, but it’s worth it to at least try… I hope!  Anyway, I’m 25 and located in PST, although I don’t mind which timezone you’re in, I’ve had partners from all over.   I have over ten years writing experience and have done a bit of freelance writing on the side as well.  As for my writing, I can easily write around two paragraphs, but if the scene calls for it I can go 3-5, it just depends.  I do prefer rapid replies around two paras, but this is in no way a dealbreaker as I know not everyone has this sort of time. 

Just a few quick rules that are important to me are as follows: 

All partners must be 18+

I’m a fan of smut and think it can lend itself to the plot, so as long as it makes sense in the plot I’d love to include it!

Since doubling is a big thing now, I want to explain my stance - I’m so down for playing side characters in order to world build, however I won’t do an ‘I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine’ deal.  I’m not too great at playing canons, which is why I tend to play ocs.  Sorry if this is a dealbreaker for you!

As for what I’m looking for specifically, it would be someone to play Spencer Reid against an original character of mine.  While I do have a bio/background written up for her, here’s a quick lil summary for you to get a feel for her: she’s an investigative journalist and very much in the same vein as Gale Weathers, just not as bitchy lol.  Due to her history though, she definitely has a dry sense of humor and is sarcastic to a fault.  She has a history with the FBI due to her father’s murder and I’ve always liked the idea of Rossi having had something to do with the unsolved investigation.  

I'd also love to include other characters, I think they’re important to who Spencer is but I’d also love to see Olivia interact with them.  We can split them up, but this isn’t a necessity if you don’t want to!  

For this pairing I have a few little snippets of ideas for the most part, but I also have a decently fleshed out one that I can tell you about if my rambling hasn’t put you off yet haha.  Even though I don’t wish harm on my favorite boy, I would also, maybe later down the line, like to explore his addiction a bit more and perhaps a relapse?  I feel like the show sort of glossed over it and I’d love to dive deeper into what it’s done to Spencer, as well as those around him, and how he handles it.

As far as potential partners go, this is kind of what I’m looking for: 

Can reply at least once a day, but would prefer multiple times.  (obviously this doesn’t apply if something comes up, just let me know, I’m not strict or scary, promise!)

Loves to gush about the characters/pairings/fandom we’re writing.  I love getting invested and coming up with potential future plot points or doing aus or hcs about where they could end up.  It’s all so fun!

In that same vein though, I do want to set a boundary: I don’t do anything that requires me to share my voice or move off of discord.  I have super bad anxiety so any kind of call or sharing of personal info stresses me out a lot.  I’ve tried it once and it all ended in a mess and I’d rather not get into it again, so please be able to respect that. 

If you write primarily on Discord in servers, that’s perfect!  And bonus points if you use tupperbox! 

If you’re another Criminal Minds fan and want to give Spencer a go, I’d love to hear from you!  Either PM me on here or add me on discord - toxicdeliquency 

If you do message me though, PLEASE send more than a ‘hey’, maybe introduce yourself and your history with writing/roleplaying or the fandom?  Idk, just something to let me know this is the ad you came from haha.  Hope to hear from some of y’all!

[findyourrp]

Hey hey hey!  I’m currently craving a Criminal Minds roleplay, which I know is kind of a longshot, but it’s worth it to at least try… I hope!  Anyway, I’m 25 and located in PST, although I don’t mind which timezone you’re in, I’ve had partners from all over.   I have over ten years writing experience and have done a bit of freelance writing on the side as well.  As for my writing, I can easily write around two paragraphs, but if the scene calls for it I can go 3-5, it just depends.  I do prefer rapid replies around two paras, but this is in no way a dealbreaker as I know not everyone has this sort of time. 

  Just a few quick rules that are important to me are as follows: 

  All partners must be 18+

I’m a fan of smut and think it can lend itself to the plot, so as long as it makes sense in the plot I’d love to include it!

Since doubling is a big thing now, I want to explain my stance - I’m so down for playing side characters in order to world build, however I won’t do an ‘I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine’ deal.  I’m not too great at playing canons, which is why I tend to play ocs.  Sorry if this is a dealbreaker for you!

  As for what I’m looking for specifically, it would be someone to play Spencer Reid against an original character of mine.  While I do have a bio/background written up for her, here’s a quick lil summary for you to get a feel for her: she’s an investigative journalist and very much in the same vein as Gale Weathers, just not as bitchy lol.  Due to her history though, she definitely has a dry sense of humor and is sarcastic to a fault.  She has a history with the FBI due to her father’s murder and I’ve always liked the idea of Rossi having had something to do with the unsolved investigation.  

  I’d also love to include other characters, I think they’re important to who Spencer is but I’d also love to see Olivia interact with them.  We can split them up, but this isn’t a necessity if you don’t want to!  

  For this pairing I have a few little snippets of ideas for the most part, but I also have a decently fleshed out one that I can tell you about if my rambling hasn’t put you off yet haha.  Even though I don’t wish harm on my favorite boy, I would also, maybe later down the line, like to explore his addiction a bit more and perhaps a relapse?  I feel like the show sort of glossed over it and I’d love to dive deeper into what it’s done to Spencer, as well as those around him, and how he handles it.

  As far as potential partners go, this is kind of what I’m looking for: 

  Can reply at least once a day, but would prefer multiple times.  (obviously this doesn’t apply if something comes up, just let me know, I’m not strict or scary, promise!)

Loves to gush about the characters/pairings/fandom we’re writing.  I love getting invested and coming up with potential future plot points or doing aus or hcs about where they could end up.  It’s all so fun!

In that same vein though, I do want to set a boundary: I don’t do anything that requires me to share my voice or move off of discord.  I have super bad anxiety so any kind of call or sharing of personal info stresses me out a lot.  I’ve tried it once and it all ended in a mess and I’d rather not get into it again, so please be able to respect that. 

If you write primarily on Discord in servers, that’s perfect!  And bonus points if you use tupperbox! 

  If you’re another Criminal Minds fan and want to give Spencer a go, I’d love to hear from you!  Either PM me on here or add me on discord - toxicdeliquency 

  If you do message me though, PLEASE send more than a ‘hey’, maybe introduce yourself and your history with writing/roleplaying or the fandom?  Idk, just something to let me know this is the ad you came from haha.  Hope to hear from some of y’all!

I read the rules, but idk how to put an emoji in here on my computer lolol! 

[roleplayfinder]

Hey hey hey!  I’m currently craving a Criminal Minds roleplay, which I know is kind of a longshot, but it’s worth it to at least try… I hope!  Anyway, I’m 25 and located in PST, although I don’t mind which timezone you’re in, I’ve had partners from all over.   I have over ten years writing experience and have done a bit of freelance writing on the side as well.  As for my writing, I can easily write around two paragraphs, but if the scene calls for it I can go 3-5, it just depends.  I do prefer rapid replies around two paras, but this is in no way a dealbreaker as I know not everyone has this sort of time. 

  Just a few quick rules that are important to me are as follows: 

  All partners must be 18+

I’m a fan of smut and think it can lend itself to the plot, so as long as it makes sense in the plot I’d love to include it!

Since doubling is a big thing now, I want to explain my stance - I’m so down for playing side characters in order to world build, however I won’t do an ‘I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine’ deal.  I’m not too great at playing canons, which is why I tend to play ocs.  Sorry if this is a dealbreaker for you!

  As for what I’m looking for specifically, it would be someone to play Spencer Reid against an original character of mine.  While I do have a bio/background written up for her, here’s a quick lil summary for you to get a feel for her: she’s an investigative journalist and very much in the same vein as Gale Weathers, just not as bitchy lol.  Due to her history though, she definitely has a dry sense of humor and is sarcastic to a fault.  She has a history with the FBI due to her father’s murder and I’ve always liked the idea of Rossi having had something to do with the unsolved investigation.  

  I’d also love to include other characters, I think they’re important to who Spencer is but I’d also love to see Olivia interact with them.  We can split them up, but this isn’t a necessity if you don’t want to!  

  For this pairing I have a few little snippets of ideas for the most part, but I also have a decently fleshed out one that I can tell you about if my rambling hasn’t put you off yet haha.  Even though I don’t wish harm on my favorite boy, I would also, maybe later down the line, like to explore his addiction a bit more and perhaps a relapse?  I feel like the show sort of glossed over it and I’d love to dive deeper into what it’s done to Spencer, as well as those around him, and how he handles it.

  As far as potential partners go, this is kind of what I’m looking for: 

  Can reply at least once a day, but would prefer multiple times.  (obviously this doesn’t apply if something comes up, just let me know, I’m not strict or scary, promise!)

Loves to gush about the characters/pairings/fandom we’re writing.  I love getting invested and coming up with potential future plot points or doing aus or hcs about where they could end up.  It’s all so fun!

In that same vein though, I do want to set a boundary: I don’t do anything that requires me to share my voice or move off of discord.  I have super bad anxiety so any kind of call or sharing of personal info stresses me out a lot.  I’ve tried it once and it all ended in a mess and I’d rather not get into it again, so please be able to respect that. 

If you write primarily on Discord in servers, that’s perfect!  And bonus points if you use tupperbox! 

  If you’re another Criminal Minds fan and want to give Spencer a go, I’d love to hear from you!  Either PM me on here or add me on discord - toxicdeliquency 

  If you do message me though, PLEASE send more than a ‘hey’, maybe introduce yourself and your history with writing/roleplaying or the fandom?  Idk, just something to let me know this is the ad you came from haha.  Hope to hear from some of y’all!

[kessilover]

Hello, hello! I am so sorry, I sent you that ask a week ago about a fanfic and you were so kind to respond right away and here I am taking my sweet time. Work got crazy and suddenly all this time flew by. I sincerely apologize!

Thank you so much for putting my ask out there as it seems Craeatus hit the nail on the proverbial head and found the fic I was looking for! It is indeed "Bound by Fate" by Araminia16. Seems it was originally on fanfiction.net and then reposted years later on ao3. It's a long one and the summary wasn't ringing any bells so I had to get a few chapters in before I realized it was the fic I was remembering from so long ago. Thank you so much for putting it out there for everyone to see and thank you to Craeatus for finding the fic! It was driving me crazy not being able to find it.

And I am curious, you mentioned an archive that's out there that some deleted stories may be found on. Is this through the wayback machine? Or is it something else? I'd love to be able to go in search of some long lost fics that I read years ago.

Okay, I'll stop rambling now 😂 thank you again for all your help! And I love your stories - the Mergana tag is rather small these days (to be fair, it was never huge) and your continued contributions are very much appreciated!

Hello there,

It's been almost a month since you sent me this message anon and I am so sorry it took me so long to respond.

I got sick and it was like a light (super light. Nothing life threatening, but definitely funny in the way House was) version of a House episode. I am fine now ^_^

So to answer your question, it's a discord server for Fanfic programmers. I was invited because 1. I am a fanfic writer and 2. I am software engineer so I program.

Anyways, I tried to find the entry to find the deleted fanfictions but couldn't find it. It was a link to an archive.org post where someone dumped the whole FF.net stories from like 10 years ago. But, these people are actively keeping mining FF.net and ao3.

If you want to I can invite you to it.

I hope that answers your question :D

[mane--attraction]

Wilford has been hypnotizing you for awhile, but the level of how aware you are is up for debate, because it would really depend on what point in the timeline as to whether he caught you off guard or if you started going into this willingly but maybe allowed him to hide how extensive it could be, possibly to the point of you forgetting you asked in the first place. One way or another Wil has given you triggers, both ones that only he can activate and ones that others are able to use, although there are likely more of the former.

Dark, on the other hand, has likely kidnapped you or otherwise isolated you, being a master manipulator and all, and whether he’s doing this for solely his own benefit or to get back at Mark is also up for debate (he’ll never let you know either way), but he’s eager to reach into your mind and mold it to his own design. However, there are already some things that he notices as odd. Like how your eyes seem to light up at seemingly random words (for the joke I’m thinking “bubbles,” another word would be “gun” or related words, but that doesn’t always come up in conversation like “bubbles” would), or you seem to restrain yourself from making a noise from something like “follow me” (which, for the record, I’m putting down as barking like a dog, because I imagine the triggers that other people are able to use are mostly to troll you). 

And then he gets you in a trance, and he’s having trouble implanting his own triggers. Not that he can’t necessarily, but when you have one reality warper already in your brain doing hypnotism, it’d probably make it more difficult for another one to gain any real estate. It doesn’t take him long to figure out it’s Wilford (because who else could it be?), but he has no way of knowing what his triggers were because he doesn’t have access. So he just does his best, and maybe he gets a little something from you while you’re under and gives you a little something as well. ;) And of course he makes sure you don’t remember what happened, because of course that would ruin whatever plan he has. All you know when you wake is that you feel strange and a little on edge, a blush on your cheeks, but you just attribute that to the man in front of you. He sends you on your way, promising you’ll meet again.

And then you get back to Wil, being happy beans etc etc, and the next time he pull you under, he’s a little confused when you say something out of the ordinary, maybe call him something different (i.e. master instead of daddy idk up to you), and Wil does some digging of his own, with some weird interferences from your responses due to the conflictions, before he finally figures out it’s Dark. Every time you answer a question, Wil makes sure to reward you by making you more aroused, because he likes to tease you a lot when you’re under. And Wil gets a sneaky idea to implant triggers just to mess with Dark, because he knows he’ll come for you again. But also you get to benefit as well from this war Dark has just started. You may be caught in the crossfire, but aside from possibly rewiring your brain more than a human should take from two reality warpers, this is in no way going to be anything less than pleasurable for you. If not Dark, then Wilford will make sure of that ;)

[mochegato]

Even the Losers

Chapter 12

Chapter 1     Chapter 11

The dining room was only slightly less formal than the entry way.  It was decorated in deep tones and dark wood meant to evoke grandeur and pageantry. It still spoke of old money and cold families.  There was no evidence of laughter over inside jokes, gasping at stories about someone’s day, discussions of dreams, or fatherly advice doled out over a lovingly cooked dinner that everyone worked on together.

Marinette held back as everyone made their way into the dining room, letting them claim their usual seats, prepared to take whatever seat was left.  She was hoping to cause as little upset and disturbance as possible.  Her plan was foiled when Duke jumped up from his seat and moved down one spot.  “Hey, Marinette.  Take this seat.”  

Marinette opened her mouth to object but stopped when Jason put his hand on her back to guide her to the seat.  “Lost cause.  Don’t even bother,” he muttered low enough for her to hear.  Marinette looked back at him uncertainly but nodded in understanding. She breathed a small sigh of relief when Jason took the other seat next to her.

Dick pouted at the seating, but took the seat across from her instead, grabbing the seat quickly from the right as Tim was just about to drop into it from the left.  Tim grumbled something about annoying puppies and took the next seat over, causing Damian to scowl and redirect himself to a different seat. “Damian!” Dick called out to him. He patted the seat next to him.  

Damian huffed and sent Marinette a glare as he took his not normal seat beside Dick.  He squirmed in the seat.  It wasn’t his usual seat and he could feel the difference.  It felt off.  It felt wrong.  He didn’t like it at all.  This was not his routine.  This was not what he was comfortable with and it was all her fault.  They were playing a charade for her.  They were making themselves uncomfortable for her.

Marinette watched politely as M. Pennyworth set the plates down in front of everyone.  When he was done, he exited quietly.  Marinette watched him leave the room as the rest of the family took bites of their food.  M. Wayne had called M. Pennyworth a father and Jason had called him a grandfather, but he didn’t eat with them?  And addressed them all as Master or Miss?  Did none of them know what family was supposed to be?  What it was supposed to mean?  Because that, wasn’t it.  And honestly, if that’s what they thought it was, she had serious concerns about joining their ‘family’.

She looked back to Jason and tried to send him a message with her eyes to ask him about it without having to say it out loud and draw attention to herself.  She cleared her throat quietly, hoping it was quiet enough that just Jason would hear but everyone looked at her.  She looked at their eyes before returning hers to her plate.  “Sorry,” she said quietly.

��Don’t be ridiculous,” Bruce said kindly.  His eyes were filled with concern and a touch of worry.  He wanted her to eventually feel like this was her home too and if he wanted that to happen, she needed to feel comfortable here.  “Did you need anything?”

“No, no, no,” Marinette insisted, shaking her head and sending him a weak smile.  “It’s nothing.  The dinner looks amazing.”

“If there’s anything you don’t like…” Bruce started.

“No!  Of course not,” Marinette exclaimed.  “This looks really delicious.”  She was waving her hands frantically.  It was all going wrong already.  She was causing a commotion.  From the moment she’d walked into his life, she’d caused nothing but commotion.  She was really hoping to break the cycle tonight and get closer to the kids in the family.

Bruce watched her uncertainly, but nodded.  “Because if you want anything else, we have a huge kitchen and pantry,” Bruce tried to assure her.

Marinette’s eyes grew even bigger and her movements more frantic.  “Jesus, B. Lay off her.  She already said she was fine,” Jason grumbled.  “You’re going to give her a complex.”

Somehow, Marinette’s eyes got wider and her face went slack.  “No, no. It’s fine.”  She turned to Bruce with a desperate look.  “I’m fine.  Thank you for your concern.”

“Marinette,” Bruce stated with a touch of exasperation. He didn’t know what he had to do to get her relax, to get her to believe she wasn’t going to make him not want her. “Just let me know.”

Marinette nodded rapidly.  “Of course.”  She looked around the room taking note of the pasted on, polite smiles while they took silent bites.  She could feel her shoulders curling in on her as the quiet continued.

“How was your day today?” Bruce prompted Marinette after the first few bites in uncomfortable silence.

She nearly dropped her fork in surprise.  “Oh, it was pretty good,” she answered with a polite smile.  And oh God, this was the most awkward thing she had ever done.  She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a breath.  It wasn’t going to change unless she did something to change it.  “I’m glad you had a meeting this morning so we missed out on the Penguin.  I mean sorry about the meeting, but I think it worked out for the best.”

She fought the urge to openly examine the people around the table.  They had all frozen at her mention of the Penguin, but all seemed to be trying to pretend like they hadn’t.  Their smiles became forced.  She wasn’t sure if it brought back bad memories or scared them how close M. Wayne had been to getting taken by the Penguin.  If they had stuck to their original plan, he could have been able to take him.

Bruce chuckled politely, tightly.  “Definitely a better result.  I would still like to go to the art museum with you though.”

“Do you have room for someone else?” Dick asked perking up.  “I’d like to get in on that.  Cass?” He looked over to Cass to see how she felt.  When she nodded excitedly he looked over to Damian.  “Damian would love to go to, right Damian?”  Damian leaned back in his chair and focused on the food, refusing to look at Dick.  “Damian’s in,” Dick enthused.

Tim snorted but realized his mistake as soon as the sound came out.  He looked warily over at Dick who was giving him an overly wide smile.  Tim turned to Marinette with an artificial smile.  “I’d love to.”  Duke shaking his head caught his eyes and he grinned maliciously. “Duke loves the art museum.  We can’t go without him too.”

Duke froze and narrowed his eyes at Tim for a fraction of a second before smiling at Marinette.  “If you don’t mind the company.”

Marinette looked between them.  The only one who seemed to actually be happy about it was Dick. Everyone else seemed like this was the last possible thing they’d ever want to do.  She plastered on a smile, unwilling to be the cause of discord in the family.  “No. Yeah.  That sounds… fun.”

Damian narrowed his eyes at her.  “You’re being insincere,” he accused harshly.

“Damian!” Bruce scolded loudly.  “That was uncalled for.”

Dick looked at him with disappointment. “Damian.  It is not okay to treat a guest… your sister like that,” he added after Bruce finished.

Jason was tense, preparing to step in if Damian said even one more word to Marinette.  He knew she already didn’t feel welcome in Bruce’s life, let alone his home.  He sure as Hell wasn’t going to let Damian solidify that belief.

Marinette stared at Damian wide eyed.  He wasn’t wrong, but she thought everyone kind of understood the reasoning behind it.  It wasn’t ideal, but it was expected.  Not to mention she wasn’t the only one.  She looked around the room and finding varying levels of disappointment, concern for her, and annoyance with Damian.  She looked over at Damian trying to gauge his goal.  

Roy and Jason had warned her that he would try to intimidate her, likely attack her.  And she guessed she should have expected to defend herself.  But again, he wasn’t wrong.  What he was accusing her of; not being entirely honest, she wasn’t.  None of them were.  But when she looked in his eyes, it wasn’t hostility she saw, not completely.  It was confusion, uncertainty, unease, and yes, a fair amount of hostility.  And wasn’t that the issue she was having with them too?  That they didn’t seem to be sincere with her?  But while she curled in, he lashed out.

“You’re not wrong,” she admitted quietly.  The room fell silent again and Damian looked up at her with a confused scowl.  She met Damian’s gaze and gave him a small smile.  “We’re all being varying levels of insincere.  This is an awkward, uncomfortable, scary situation.  For all of us, I imagine.  Again varying levels of that.  Maybe for you and me more than the rest.  You’re the baby and I’m…”  She let it trail off leaving ‘unwanted’ unsaid, hoping they would fill in the sentence with a more palatable adjective.  One she wouldn’t have to discuss with concerned looks and sympathetic smiles.

“You guys don’t want to offend me and I’m trying desperately not to offend you, but we don’t know each other well enough to know how to do that or what we need to do to ease the tension.  We’re trying to figure each other out, so nobody gets hurt. You or me.”  She knew she was rambling but it was honest, coherent rambling at least.  Maybe not completely, but it was the truth.  And Damian was right.  They weren’t being themselves and they weren’t going to get to know each other until they were.  

“I don’t want to expose too much and scare you away or give you the ammunition to really hurt me, if that’s what you’re going to do.  And I imagine you guys are afraid of driving me away by saying the wrong thing.  And how do you know what the wrong thing is until you know someone?  So we’re all on edge.  Not ourselves.  We don’t feel safe to be ourselves yet.  And how can you be sincere when you’re not yourself?”

Cass smiled warmly at her and nodded in agreement. Jason wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close.  “Except me. She’s herself around me, so suck it.” He stuck his tongue out at the rest of the family, like the mature, tough, dangerous, vigilante he was.

“Oh my God, Jason.”  Marinette shook her head and dropped it in her hands.  “That’s because I was drunk off my ass and didn’t have the ability to pretend when we met.”

“That’s French for ‘because you’re the best’,” Jason assured them with a completely straight face.

“It definitely isn’t,” Dick rolled his eyes, but his lips were turned up in a smile.  “If you want to talk about him behind his back in front of his face in French, let me know,” Dick winked at her.  “I haven’t gotten to practice my French in a while.”

“It sounds like Jason took advantage of you in a weakened state.  Terrible brother behavior,” Tim insisted.  He shook his head in mock disappointment.  “You deserve better.”

“Who?  You?” Jason squawked, affronted at the suggestion.

“I was going to say Duke, but if I’m the first one that comes to mind when you think of best brother, I mean, I’m not going to argue,” Tim shrugged with a smirk.

“You say Jason is always wrong and you’re always right, so…” Duke added with a grin.  He turned to Marinette.  “Sounds like you and me are going to form an alliance.  New Kids Club.”  He turned his head slightly when Cass made a noise.  “And Cass.”  He smiled when Marinette giggled.

“Let’s not form alliances and cliques or hog Marinette, please?” Bruce asked, the resignation clear in his voice but affection clear in his eyes.

Marinette nodded and turned serious. “Absolutely.  I will not form any kind of pact with Duke and Cass over lunch next week?”  She looked between the two of them for confirmation. Duke and Cass nodded back at her and Marinette grinned.  “Monday?”

“Hey!” Dick objected.

Jason gasped at her and dropped his arm from around her shoulder.  “This feels like a betrayal.  I’m betrayed.”  He shook his head and took a bite of food.  “You’ll fit right in.”

Duke shook his head.  “Can’t Monday.  I have a poetry thing.”

Marinette’s eyes brightened.  “Are you presenting or watching?”

Duke looked down shyly and rubbed the back of his neck.  He hadn’t even told the rest of the family about it.  It didn’t occur to him that they would be interested.  “Presenting actually.”

“Would you mind if I came too?  Or do you not like people you know being there?”

Duke shrugged.  “No, I don’t mind, but…” he cringed slightly, “it isn’t in the best part of town.  It’s kind of dangerous.”

“Don’t worry, I can protect you,” Marinette winked at him.  She ignored Damian’s scoff and Bruce’s choke.

Jason rolled his eyes.  “Don’t worry, I’ll go too.  I’ve never heard the kid read.”

“I’d like to come too,” Dick looked at them hopefully, “if you don’t mind.”

Duke made a noise that sounded like some combination of happy and resigned and nodded.  “Yeah, that sounds fun.”

“You okay with Adrien and Max coming too?” Marinette asked.

“Yeah, bring them.  It’ll be nice to meet them.”  He waved off her concern.  “Okay, that’s fun and all but we still need to decide when to not meet for the New Kids Club.  And I’m not putting that in my nonexistent calendar for,” Duke looked up questioningly, “Thursday lunch?”

Marinette looked over to Cass who nodded excitedly at her.  Marinette smiled back at her and Duke.  “Sounds good.”  She pulled out her phone and handed it to him.  “Want to put your number in so we can coordinate?”

“Absolutely!”  He took her unlocked phone and put his number in.

“Can I put my number in too?” Tim asked

“And me!” Dick exclaimed.  

“Yeah, of course,” Marinette smiled at both of them. A real smile.  Thank God Adrien was right.  She kind of liked the kids… even though most weren’t kids and most of them were actually older than her.  

“Why don’t you put all our numbers in there, Tim,” Dick suggested.

“Tt,” Damian scoffed.  “There’s no reason she would need my number.”

Bruce gave him a disappointed look, but Marinette shrugged.  “Please, don’t put it in if he isn’t comfortable with it.”

Tim pursed his lips.  “Don’t be ridiculous.  What if she finds a cute animal?  How’s she supposed to send you the picture?”  Damian scowled but didn’t say more.  Tim finished and handed the phone back to Marinette.

Marinette took it back with a thank you and scrolled through her contacts.  “Huh… he didn’t put you in,” she assured Damian.

“What?”  Tim looked at her confused then looked at her phone again.  “Oh, it’s under Demon Spawn.”

Marinette gaped at him.  “It’s under what?”

“Dem…”

“Yeah, no,” she cut him off.  She pushed a few buttons and looked back at Damian.  “Not anymore.  It’s gone.  You can give me your number when and if you’re ready.”  Damian didn’t acknowledge her, but he did nod curtly at his plate and Marinette was taking that as a win.  

She tucked her phone away and looked around the room.  “Okay, so, Duke does poetry, I heard Damian does art, and I heard Dick likes to swing, what does everyone else like to do?” Marinette asked with a bright smile.

Jason and Tim burst out laughing.  “Your reputation proceeds you, Lover Boy,” Jason managed to get out between gasps.

Marinette frowned and looked between them in confusion. “Did I say something wrong?”

Dick smiled warmly at her.  He kept his eye contact with her as he threw a roll at Jason’s head.  “Ignore them. Their minds are in the gutter.  For clarification, I like gymnastics.  I was a trapeze artist in a Haley’s Circus when I was a kid.”

“Oh that sounds fun!” Marinette almost squealed in excitement.  “You must have loved flying through the air.  That was always the best feeling.”

“It was.  I loved it.  The freedom of soaring before gravity took over was amazing,” Dick nodded in agreement. His eyes took on a distant look as he talked about it and a smile curled on his lips.  “Did you do trapeze work in Paris?”  Marinette froze momentarily.  “You mentioned you liked the feeling.  Is that how you know it?” he prompted gently.

“Oh… um… no.”  She looked down at the napkin on her lap for a second, pretending to readjust it.  “I was friends with a few of our local heroes.  One of them, Ladybug swung around the city on a yoyo that worked kind of like a magic rope.  That feeling of swinging up and breaking gravity was always heart racing.  And the feeling of falling until the string caught.” She looked away with a smile. “Yeah, I understand what you’re talking about.”

“We have a trapeze in the manor.  Did you want to try it out sometime?” Dick asked excitedly.  

Marinette grinned.  “That sounds like fun.  I’d love to.”

“How about tomorrow?”

Marinette blinked.  The Waynes definitely moved fast.  There was no time to breathe.  Just moving from one thing directly into the next.  She needed time to think, time to process that they apparently didn’t require.  “I can’t. Sorry.”  Dick’s face fell immediately.  If she didn’t have a legitimate excuse, she’d feel guilty.  “I’ll be in New York tomorrow for business and I’m meeting with Lucius Friday.”

“Saturday then,” Dick offered.  Marinette smiled and nodded causing Dick to almost vibrate in his seat.  None of the other siblings ever wanted to go on the trapeze with him and he was beyond excited to connect with Marinette.

“Did they take you around often?” Bruce asked with forced calmness.  “The heroes,” he explained when she scrunched her face in confusion.  “You said they took you around often enough for you to know what it felt like… where Hawkmoth could see.”  Spending time with civilians in suit was dangerous, incredibly so, even more so doing it in full view of the public.  Something like that could have resulted in Marinette getting targeted.  It was irresponsible and negligent.  He should have never trusted the Parisian heroes or Diana that the heroes could handle Paris without him.

“No,” Marinette said as nonchalantly as she could manage, trying to pretend like she didn’t notice the tightness in his voice. “They rescued me a few times and once things were resolved they would sometimes take people who had gotten caught up in the attacks for short rides like that to bring up morality.  To make them feel better.  It wasn’t unusual or noteworthy, just a public service.”

Bruce relaxed minutely, but the tension in his frame was still clear.  Marinette watched him carefully, trying to gauge if she’d used the right words to calm him.  She could feel her body tensing at exponential rates the longer he was silent, the longer it took him to relax or smile.  Marinette looked down at her plate and pushed her food around with tight lips.

“I like unsolved mysteries,” Tim threw in.  Eyes around the table turned to him, most of them incredulous and tense that he would take the conversation there.  She heard a whispered “Dude,” from somewhere around the table.

Marinette let out the breath she hadn’t even realized she’d been holding and started laughing.  The eyes that had been on Tim turned to her, making her laugh even harder at the awkwardness of it until another voice joined hers in laughter, followed by another, until most of the table was at least chuckling.  

“My best friend gets into that too,” Marinette nodded with a grateful smile.  She narrowed her eyes playfully at him.  “Do you end up in all night benders following the trail of a mystery down incalculable rabbit holes until you get crazed and someone has to come and force you to sleep too?”

Tim looked shocked and slowly looked around the room before returning his gaze to Marinette.  “No,” he said tentatively.

“Yes,” Cass, Dick, Jason, Duke, and Bruce all chorused at the same time.

“Oooohhh, remind me some time to talk about the Impossible Murder,” Marinette offered.  Her eyes lit up with excitement.  Unsolved mysteries and conspiracy theories she could do.  This was her comfort zone.  Not that she got into it, but years with Alya had taught her the rhythm of inquiry and questions.  She took comfort in that rhythm.  It was something familiar she could lean into.

“Yes!” Tim exclaimed, an inquisitive glint in his eyes.

“No,” Cass, Dick, Jason, Duke, and Bruce all chorused at the same time.

Marinette giggled and winked at Tim.  “We’ll talk later,” she stage whispered to him.  She grinned at the groans she heard around the table.  

Tim turned to Duke and stuck his tongue out at him. “Sounds like we get our own club, just for Marinette and me.  The Investigator’s Club.”

Jason scoffed and took a bite.  “Like I’d want to be part of a club with that name.”

Cass cleared her throat lightly, drawing some attention to her.  “And Cass,” Tim amended.  Cass nodded happily.

“How about you, Cass?”

“Ballet,” Cass answered with a smile.

“Oh, I wish I could do ballet.  Are you in a class or do you do it on your own?  Or are you a professional?”  Marinette asked trying to keep her voice from getting too excited or invested.  Bruce had mentioned she didn’t talk a lot and Marinette didn’t want to pressure her to talk if she didn’t want to, but she also didn’t want to make her feel like she was ignoring her.

“Fun.”

Marinette nodded.  “I bet it’s a nice way to relax.”

“Not as good as shooting guns though,” Jason grinned. “Or blowing things up.”

Bruce sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead. “Jason…” he started, not even bothering to try to finish the sentence.

Marinette blinked a few times then nodded.  “Uh huh.  I like sewing,” she responded dryly.  Jason laughed and shook his head at her.  He took a bite of his food and looked back at her appraisingly, a happy glint in his eye.

“Right, B mentioned you’re a designer.  Just graduated right?” Dick prompted.

“Yes.  My final project was a few weeks ago.  Now I’m figuring out my next steps.”

“Is that related to your trip to New York?” Duke asked.

Marinette nodded and swallowed the bite she’d just taken. “I’m meeting a few friends and someone at Style Queen to talk about styling a shoot.  And Adrien has a job interview.”  She took a quick bite of her dinner before continuing.  “We’re also trying to get a feel for New York, see if that’s somewhere we would want to move.”

“Wow, Style Queen is really big!” Duke nodded. “That’s awesome!”

Marinette smiled at him.  “Getting on her good side is definitely good for your career. Luckily, I’ve been able to impress her over the years.”

“Along those lines,” Bruce cut in, “I’ve commissioned her to create clothes for us.  We were planning on her coming over to start on Tuesday, so I expect everyone to be here for it.”

Dick beamed at her but Damian grunted loud enough for everyone to hear.  He had absolutely no interest in wearing something purely because ‘his sister’ designed it.  He had a style and level of craft he required in the clothes he wore and he was not about to sit or stand around uncomfortably all day long purely out of some misplaced obligation.

He narrowed his eyes at Marinette.  It still didn’t make sense.  Why would she have come to Gotham if she was looking to break into fashion?  She had to have had an ulterior motive.  “So you just happened to consider Gotham as a place to reconsider?”

Marinette cocked her head to the side.  “No…” she scrunched her face in a bit of confusion. “I never even considered it. Gotham was a side trip.  I had no intention of staying past earlier this week. But things… changed,” she looked around sheepishly before looking back at him.  “I was considering New York or Metropolis in America.  Also Shanghai, I have family there; London, Adrien has family there; Milan, my… grandmother grew up there.”

“Is Adrien your boyfriend?” Tim asked.

“No.  My... brother,” her voice petered out as she called the word and she looked down guiltily.

“Will he be part of your business?” Bruce asked, pretending like he hadn’t registered her discomfort, hoping that if they moved past it, she would too.

“Yes. No. Maybe.” Marinette grimaced as she went through all the options.    She shrugged.  “Whatever he wants.  He wasn’t allowed to make choices growing up so now that his father,” she spit the word out with disgust, “is gone, I’m going to let him decide his next move. He wants to help, but he’s looking for a teaching job.  He’s thinking of doing both for a while.  I’m hoping I can convince him it’ll be okay for him to focus on him.  It isn’t ‘abandoning’ me if he does.

“But, that's what's taking so long.  I can work from almost anywhere.  I’d prefer to be near a big city, but really, it isn’t necessary. It’s harder to find a place he'd like to teach and we want to live.”

“If he isn't part of your business...” Dick started, trying to figure out her motivation.

“We come as a set,” she said definitively and took a bite, staring him down as if daring him to challenge her.  “He’s my emotional support grimalkin.”

“Will your future romantic partner, if you want one, be okay with that?” Damian demanded.

Marinette shrugged.  She could feel Jason tensing next to her at Damian’s tone, but she wasn’t too bothered by it.  “They will be or they won't be.”

“Those are the options, yes,” Damian deadpanned.

“Demon Spawn…” Jason hissed.

“I meant,” Marinette cut in before Jason could continue the fight he wanted to start, “they will be okay with it or they won't be my romantic partner.  Adrien and I have been through a lot.  We feel safest when the other is near, at least close enough to come running if there’s a problem.  If someone can’t understand that about me, then I don’t need them in my life.”

Bruce nodded and gave her an understanding smile. “We should invite him next time.”

Marinette nodded in agreement.  “He’d love that.  He’s dying to meet you all.”

Bruce took another bite before coming up with an idea.  “If he’s thinking of being part of your business anyway, why don’t you bring him with you when you do the commission?  We can have a family dinner afterword.”

“That’s a great idea.  I’ll check with him,” Marinette nodded.  “And apparently, as long as he doesn’t talk about pineapples with you guys,” she gave Jason a pointed look, “it should be fine.”

Tim groaned.  “No.  No! I’m not having this conversation again.” He glared at Dick.  “Pineapple is the most disgusting topping to put on a pizza.”

Dick gasped dramatically.  “You take that back!”

“It’s worse than sardines,” Tim hissed.  “It’s an abomination.  It’s an insult to pizzas.”

“How dare you!  Pineapple is amazing.  It adds a sweetness that perfectly contrasts the saltiness you get from other ingredients!” Dick defended.

Marinette blinked a few times as Dick continued to sing the praises of pineapple on pizza before she leaned over and whispered to Jason.  “You weren’t joking.”

“Nope,” he said popping the p.  “Told you it always finds a way to come up.”

“It came up because you mentioned it,” Marinette deadpanned.  “Literally you’re the reason it came up.”

He shook his head as if he didn’t hear her.  “It always finds a way.  It’s like sorcery.”

Chapter 13

Tags:

@maribat-bdbwm @jayjayspixiepop @redscarlet95 @alice-hazelwood @deathssilentapproach-blog @unoriginalmess @alyssadeliv @emotionalsupportginger @frieddonutsweets @when-no-wings-do-broomsticks @toodaloo-kangaroo @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @iloontjeboontje @wolf-for-life @maribatserver @aespades @prettylittlebutterflie @imarivers8  @ certainmuffinbagelcalzone @ritacrow-blog @unoriginalmess @demonicbusiness @kking13 @lady-bee-fechin @blur-of-colours @kittenmywaythrulife @kashlyn @loysydark

[justfangirlthingies]

Caught my eye (Corpse Husband x reader)

Soulmate AU: In which everyone has one eye in their own eye colour and one in the colour of their soulmate. However, when you are close to meeting each other, your vision will change to the soulmate's one, letting you know you are close. When your eyes meet they will change their colour to their original eye colour.

Word count: 4189 words

Warnings: cursing because that is automatically given when writing about Corpse

Another Soulmate AU from my Wattpad account let's go!

Staring into the camera were a pair of, colourwise mismatched, eyes, one iris a deep brown and the other one a shimmering (e/c).

It was not unusual for someone to have two different eye colours in one set of eyes, it simply meant one had yet to find their significant other.

Pressing record on your camera you let your eyes stay right in front of the lens for a second before rolling backwards on your chair, your torso now in frame as well "Hello all of you beautiful individuals! I'm (y/yt/n) and as always I welcome you here!" You waved at your camera, a warm and welcoming smile gracing your lips. "In case this is your first time stumbling over this channel" you paused a second and giggled "Hi, welcome to this chaos!" Slowly you neared the camera again "Leave while you still can" you whisper shouted into your microphone.

"No hold on don't leave please! I was just kidding" You joked at your camera.

A happy sigh escaped your mouth as you leaned back in your chair "Today is q & a time isn't it?" You wiggled your eyebrows at the blinking light in front of you "Well let's get to it then...hmm...lemme see. Youtubetrash asks 'how old are you (Y/n)?' Do you always have to ask that question guys?" You scold playfully "I'm 19, but I really don't get why this is so important to you that I have to answer it in every video, like do you want to know the exact amount of days and minutes? Will you stop asking it every goddamn time then?" You chuckled as you ran a hand through your (h/l), (h/c) hair. "Right, next question! SusanIsAFish wants to know which eye colour my own is. I can easily answer that with either 'both are' or 'hell if I know' I've always had two eye colours like how am I supposed to know." A grin spread on your face as you continued to interact with your community's questions...

"Alright alright these are the last two questions guys. Nightmaresscareme...honestly same" you laughed as you read the users name out aloud. When you calmed down again you cleared your throat and continued "Ahem, anyways they wanna know if I found my soulmate already and who it is....Do I look like I found my soulmate?" You asked smiling as you approached the recording device once again and pointed a finger at each eye. "I have no Idea who it is but maybe you find whoever it is because all of you people are little Sherlock's I swear, you find out everything." Laughter erupted from your throat once again as you pointed at your camera.

"Last but not least, (y/n)stan asks 'when will you collab with Jack again? The two of you promised to make a video or something together?' Woah calm down, honestly I don't even think he remembers that, it was years ago. How do you even remember that (y/n)stan? I swear to god that's exactly what I meant with ya'll being Sherlock's." You wiggled your eyebrows again "But if you do remember, Seán and you magically happen to see this video. What happened to our collab plans dude?" You giggled "Alrighty guys that's it for today's video. Stay awesome my dudes, dudettes and in betweens and I'll see ya in the next one!" You winked and waved before stopping your recording and going straight to editing your video.

Just as you were about to upload your piece of work, your phone rang, scaring you in the process and causing you to delete your video. You groan in frustration holding your head in your palms.

"This better be important..." you mumbled to yourself as you went to check your phone. Seriously?! It was a Twitter notification. You sighed and ignored it for now, saving your video was a priority right now.

After hours of retrieving and re-editing your footage you finally uploaded the video to the worldwide known platform and picked up your phone to see what Twitter wanted from you.

As you opened the app you saw that it was a private message from none other than Jacksepticeye. What a freaking coincidence you thought, a smile now appearing on your face as you read the message. All your frustration was gone and instead replaced with confusion and laughter.  "What kind of message is that?" You muttered as you shook your head laughing.

Jacksepticeye:

Hey (Y/n) what colours are your eyes again?

(Y/T/N):

What kinda question is that? Lmao

Jacksepticeye:

Just answer my question dum dum :)

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A raven haired male was on a discord call with his online friend that he had just revealed his face to. "Jack what are you doing now?" The young man laughed at his friend.

"Hold on, I'm texting someone."

The dark haired man sighed and waited "that's not very polite you know" he smiled.

"Pschh I'm finding your soulmate, what's impolite about that?" The Irish man looked up from his phone and back at his Computer screen. Only to start laughing at the other's reaction.

"Corpse? You good?" He kept on laughing at the dumbfounded expression on Corpse's face.

Who as a reaction turned off his camera, suddenly feeling very insecure towards his friend again.

"What do you mean?" His deep voice asked cautious.

"Don't worry man I'm not leaking your face or any info to anyone" he smiled reassuringly. "Your eyes just reminded me of someone else with the same or very similar ones. At least I hope I remember their eye colours correctly" He rambled on.

"Oh..." came from the other line, which was now more quiet than usual.

Seán noticed the change in his friend's behaviour and immediately stopped what he was doing. "I'm sorry Corpse..." the Irishman scratched bis neck awkwardly "I should've asked you first"

"I-it's fine. I just can't imagine anyone wanting to be my soulmate" the male sighed.

His friend flashed an encouraging smile at the screen "Dude! Anyone would be happy to be your soulmate. I know I would be! You are great, I know you probably don't believe me but I mean it bud. Besides, your soulmate is your other half, it's like they were made for you"

One could hear a sigh coming from the black screen as Corpse turned his camera back on, his pink tinted cheeks now showing up on screen as well. He had put his eye-patch on, leaving only his brown eye visible. "And you're really sure?" He asked quietly.

"100% sure! Anyone with half a brain would know how lovable you are" the blue eyed male grinned. "Besides, the person I'm thinking of also has a YouTube channel, I think I still owe them a collab, sooo I could maybe invite them to play some kind of-"

He cut himself off. "They answered!"

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(Y/T/N):

Well they're like brown and (e/c), it's such a weird mix though.

Jacksepticeye:

Interesting.

Hey (Y/n), how about we do that collab? You could fly out and we meet up

(Y/T/N):

You still remember that? XD

Yeah sure I'd love that, I just had someone ask me about that collab today.

But seriously dude why are my eyes interesting to you all of a sudden? You found my soulmate or smth 🧐😂

Jacksepticeye:

😏😌🤭🤫

Right....

So when are you coming?

(Y/T/N):

Dude!

You literally just asked me if I even wanna come! Like come on, you think I've booked a flight already? Just like 10 minutes after you asked me to travel there?

Jacksepticeye:

As a matter of fact I don't just think so, I know it ;)

So when do I have the honors of picking your jet-lagged ass up at the airport?

(Y/T/N):

:(

...

This weekend

Time skip

A happy sigh escaped your lips as you felt the plane reaching the ground of its destination. You swiftly grabbed your bag and left the plane to get the rest of your luggage.

A yawn escaped your mouth as you grabbed your stuff, staying awake during the whole flight probably wasn't your best idea, but you couldn't help it. To you it was simply impossible to fall asleep on a journey by plane.

Your eyes skimmed the airport as you were searching for your friend.

After a few minutes of looking around you decided to sit down and wait, he was probably still on his way to the airport.

Just as you decided to open up your phone you got smacked in the face... With a balloon? "What the hell?" You whispered as you were pulled up from your seat and embraced. "(Y/N)! Hey! I haven't seen you in forever"

You looked up a little confused as you reciprocated the hug. "Well hello to you too Seán"

He chuckled and grabbed one of your bags before dragging you with him. "How can you be so motivated and energetic?" You giggled and tried to keep up with your Irish friend. "That (Y/n), is simply because I'm not sleep deprived like you"

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Setting up his stream was a curly haired nervous mess. He was always nervous when he had to stream. But today was somehow worse.

The half Mexican ran his fingers through his hair. It was just a game with friends right? However, he had never played this game before.

His nerves getting to him caused Corpse to cancel the idea of a stream. "I'll just be there and play along, that's fine too. I don't need to stream every time I'm playing a game with my friends..." he muttered to himself.

With a bottle of water beside him he started the game and went through the tutorial. "Man this game is fucking cute" he laughed before joining the discord call, just to be engulfed in a complete chaos of voices.

"Hey Corpse is here! Hi hi!" A Swedish voice boomed through his headphones along with the rest of the group greeting him. "Hey guys" he replied as he joined their server in the game. "So what are we doing? Why is no one starti-" the deep voice started but was cut of by someone else.

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"HOLY FUCKING- Who the hell was that?! Hello by the way" The whole call erupted in laughter at the reaction of the (h/c) haired individual.

"Uhh hi, that was me" Corpse answered laughing as he scratched his head nervously "and you also just answered my question for me thank you, whoever you are" Everyone laughed once again.

"Okay but seriously who are you?" Dave asked.

"Jack! You said you told em that I'd join" you huffed as you glanced At your friend next to you, you were sharing one discord account for this call as you sat right next to each other and didn't want the quality of the call to go down because of an echo. Both of you streamed online on twitch.

"Whoops! I thought I did" he chuckled once more as he introduced you to the party. "Well then..." he coughed in an attempt to clear his throat "Drum-roll please! this is (Y/n), they came to visit me this weekend. (Y/n), that's Dave, Felix, Joel, PJ and Corpse."

"Hi" you said suddenly a little nervous because you thought everyone knew you'd join.

Luckily no one seemed to mind that you were here as they greeted you. In fact, they seemed ecstatic to meet you.

"So have any of you not played this before?" Pewds asked the group. "Uh yeah, me" Yours and the deep voice said simultaneously. "But I did the tutorial" Corpse added. "Well I didn't" you laughed. "Great then we're all set, shame on you though (Y/n)!" Seán shouted.

"Jeez man, you told me to skip it and I can hear you! I'm right next to you and not deaf in case you didn't know" you sassed back, causing laughter to bounce through your headset once more.

"(Y/n) and Corpse you two haven't played before that means you count as one person for the group things cause both of you are noobs and if you count as one we have even team numbers" The swede joked.

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"We're the Meowfia" Jack laughed, starting off with his puns for this game.

(Y/n) snorted at that as everyone chose the animals of their teams. Corpse chose the cat with an eye-patch along with his team. "Maan this is peer pressure!" Your voice called out "lucky for me I like cats"

"That is the truth" the Irish voice boomed through the call once again, "I mean you should see, even their headphones have cat ears"

"I wanna see that!" Dave shouted.

"Can we see them in your cam Jack?" PJ asked.

"Not completely, they're streaming on Twitch though, its at (Y/YT/N) on Twitch and YouTube" Seán smiled as he pat your back.

"You can't just expose me like that!" The cute voice answered panicking.

"I gotta see that, hold on!" Felix shouted as he opened up your stream smirking as he followed you. "Corpse, they'll ruin your life" he continued as your cheeks flushed a bright red, suddenly feeling so exposed and put on the spot "why...why am I ruining his life?" You asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Corpse had also opened up your account as he stared in awe at the enchanting individual now on his computer screen. Were you the one Jack had meant? No it couldn't be.

"Well you see, he wrote a song about cat girls ruining his life. Right Corpse?" This statement made him come back to reality and quite flustered at that "Huh? What-  ...ohhh uhm- uh- yeah" he responded in a stutter, the pale skin of his cheeks heating up and turning red.

"Corpse are you alright?" you asked, concern not only laced in your voice but also written all over your face, which he saw. This whole ordeal just made him blush more. There was a short pause "...Yeah.." the raven haired responded. But not even a second later a laugh erupted in the call "Did we just catch you right handed?" The voice belonged to Dave. "What do you mean?" Corpse asked confused. While he waited for a response from his friend, he started fiddling with his rings as he kept his eyes on (Y/N)'s stream which was still pulled up on his screen. "Well, did we catch you watching her stream?" Dave replied trying to hold in his laughter.

Your expression changed as your eyes went wide and you looked right at your camera "Is that true?" Your voice chimed in as a hint of pink spread across your cheeks, one of your eyebrows arched. "Well..." The man with the username 'CORPSE' cleared his throat "I had to see if Jack and Felix were speaking the truth..."

A smirk spread across your face "And? Were they honest?" you laughed as your Irish companion moved his face into the frame of your camera wiggling his eyebrows. The only answer you got to your question was silence before the deep voice continued "Alright let's start this game." Yet another laugh escaped your throat when you noticed the lack of a reply to your question. However, one could say that silence was an answer on its own.

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The young guy sighed loudly after the game had ended, rolling back, away from his table, in his gaming chair he ran his hands through his curly hair. The game was fun, but it was exhausting for the man to concentrate on a game this long. Just as he was about to get up, turn all devices off and leave, he heard a familiar sound coming from his computer screen.

A discord call and video call at that was incoming from none other that Jacksepticeye. So, Corpse rolled forward in his chair again as he checked if his camera was turned off and covered. After reassuring himself that his face was hidden he accepted the call. "Hey whaddup?" He greeted his loud friend who immediately responded with a "Hey my man". His mismatched eyes widened as he looked at the screen, it was not only Jack on the call...they were there as well, a shy smile plastered on their face as they kept their eyes closed "Hey Corpse, tell me when your camera is off. Sean told me it might be on and I don't want you to accidentally expose yourself to me." "Oh yeah, it's off. You can open your eyes it's fine." Just as he finished his sentence their eyelids slowly fluttered open as they stared at the black screen and waved. There was no way to describe the feeling that went through him as he admired you in awe. He seemed starstruck and without thinking he blurted out "You have to visit San Diego sometime, but like soon"

Your eyes widened slightly not knowing how to respond to that "Umm...yeah I dunno, maybe someday?" Jack gasped dramatically "You never invited me over even though I'm the one you trusted enough to show your face to!"

Yet another time today, the male behind the black screen felt a blush grow on his face. "Well i-it's your fault for introducing me to your friend. And umm sorry if I was a bit too blunt there" He stuttered. "No it's fine. I'm a very spontaneous person ya know." You replied an embarrassed smile gracing your lips once more "But you could be a killer for all I know...sorry you probably hear that one a lot haha. Also, would you even be comfortable enough to meet up..." slowly you started drifting off with what you were saying. As soon as you realized you were trailing off of the topic at hand, you tried to get back to the conversation "ahem.. yeah, anyways as I was saying...someday sure. I mean...I am traveling around at the moment because I flew to Brighton. Maybe you know, we could get to know each other a bit better first" you smiled nervously as you replied.

"Ah yes...of course. Though I do have a question for you Seán. Is (Y/n) the one we spoke of a few days ago?" came back as a reply. He had a plan to gain their trust if they really were his suspected soulmate. The man next to (Y/n) nodded and gave a wink to the camera they used for the call. This action just confused you even more and it must have shown on your face because your loud friend started laughing at you. "Don't worry it was nothing bad" Jack reassured. "Hold on, is this about the random-" there was a lot of shuffling coming from the black screen. The noise had startled you a bit, causing you to stop mid sentence. "the random question about my eyes?" You continued your question, looking at that Irish friend of yours, but you didn't get a reply for there was another loud noise coming from Corpse's side of the screen. You shifted your attention back to the screen in front of you again just to be met with more shuffling and a sudden colour change of the screen. Your eyes widened as you saw a face only briefly for a split second before your vision suddenly changed. You looked around to see an unfamiliar room and as you saw the sight before your eyes you felt as though they were going to pop out of their sockets at any moment.

No...

No fucking way...

"Holy shit" you heard the words leave both your mouths. You just stared at the screen in front of you to see yourself, who apparently sat on the other side of the screen next to Seán. And you also saw the live view of a young man with black curly hair, dressed in black in a small window of the computer. You felt really dizzy all of a sudden and the light before your eyes went black briefly before returning to more used surroundings again.

Realisation dawned on you as you blinked a few times and spoke aloud "I-I just imagined that right? There's no way. C-Corpse you didn't happen to experience that right now, did-did you?"

"Holy fuck..." you heard a low mutter coming from the speakers.

Jack looked at you, eyebrows raised in confusion for a second before realization dawned on him and a knowing smirk appeared on his face as he shouted "CALLED IT!"

The two of you could not yet comprehend what was happening, let alone listen and realize what your mutual friend had to say.

After a few minutes of complete silence you tore your eyes away from the pen on Jack's desk, which had become the most interesting thing and perfect staring partner for the past minutes and shifted your gaze back to the young raven-haired individual before you, a small smile and a huge blush grazing your facial features as you spoke up, voice quiet and soft, but also full of nervousness "soo...umm...Corpse, are you gonna give me that address in San Diego?"

The question stood in the room for a few moments as silence engulfed you once again. Corpse's expression on his bright red face however, showed he was pondering."Y-yeah of course...sure...I-I'll text it to you if you give me that number of yours..." Then there was a pause. "Whe-When can I expect you then?"

This time it was your turn to think. "How about directly when you leave Brighton?" Jack chimed in. "But th-that's like in two days..." you stuttered in response. It was a nice idea and you did feel a pull to meet this handsome stranger as soon as possible. "Well yeah, that's the point is it not? I already checked for flights while you two where staring off somewhere....Sooo? Should I buy the ticket real quick? You can thank me later." Your mismatching eyes kept switching your gaze from your friend who had made this crazy suggestion and your apparent soulmate who now wore an eyepatch and was watching you expectantly while patiently awaiting your answer. A small sigh left your lips as you made your decision. When you tried to verbally answer though, your voice had left you, so you made eye-contact with the man also known as Corpse Husband, who had trusted you enough to reveal his face to you, and just gave him a small nod. He seemed to understand and gave you a reassuring smile.

"It's final then?" Seán, who had watched this whole ordeal unfold asked smiling happily as you just nodded once again "Y-yeah"

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Two days later you found yourself on yet another plane ride, but this time it was not to England, nor was its destination your home. You sat on your seat in silence, music which you couldn't concentrate on, blasting through your headphones while you  twiddled with your fingers, bouncing your leg up and down quickly. What were you gonna say? He would pick you up outside of the airport in order to avoid bumping into things when the view-switching-thing would happen.

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Meanwhile, the faceless YouTuber had finished tidying up his apartment and prepared everything for your arrival. He would be lying if he said he didn't look you up on the socials to learn more about you.

About half an hour before the plane would land he drove off to your designated meeting spot. He arrived there 10 minutes early so he could mentally prepare himself. About 5 minutes later he put on his black face mask and exited his car. At first he was gonna wait for you here, but his nerves and heart got the better of him, so he made his way closer inside the airport building to meet you halfway. What he didn't know was that your plane would land early. So, as he made his way through the people, which was way out of his comfort zone already, he started to see black dots clouding his view, but suddenly he came from the other side. Oh no. The body kept walking until he saw himself in the crowd.

Your eyes met as you tried to navigate through the crowd of people, it was hard as you had to control your own body somehow even though you could only see what your soulmate would usually see. Finally you had gotten somewhat closer to one another and as you came to a halt, your bodies mere inches apart as your eyesight returned to your own again. You looked up at the man in front of you in awe. Your eyes were fixated on his as you noticed the (e/c) in his one eye fade away, just to be replaced by this beautiful shade of brown that was in his other eye. The colour you knew so well because you had seen it in the mirror in one of your own eyes everyday. "Your eyes" you whispered. He smiled in return "yours too..it's nice to meet you (Y/n). My soulmate. You are even more dazzling in person" he complimented. "I can't say anything else besides the same applies to you" You smiled in return as your face went red. "Well then...Shall we?" he grinned as he took one of your backpacks and started walking. "Hey! Wait up!" You laughed as you ran to catch up to your soulmate...

[that-semi-annoying-martian]

Slightly long and possibly useless post:

Context: I'm trying something to help my anxiety, alike to exposure but not so frightening, so basically I'm looking for discord servers on fandoms I feel I can hold a decent conversation in.

I'm struggling to find some. Trying to not be picky, what I am looking for is:

Somewhere decently active in vc's

All ages (obviously 13+ due to discord ages)

Non-discriminatory (whether basic human rights or towards fandom opinions)

For that last part, I'm aware people get argumentative over fandom topics, that's fine, just like don't want to be in a place where someone gets bullied or harassed for, maybe not liking a character or a certain trilogy

I'm gonna write a list of fandoms I can talk about comfortably, and another list of fandoms I don't know two sticks about, I'd just really like recommendations

Also, nothing against roleplay servers, but i don't want to join roleplay centric servers, because that's just not what I'm looking for at the moment.

Sorry if anything seems unreasonable. Main points are, a friendly place that isn't roleplay centric and people actually use vcs or are open to.

Anyway here's my lists of fandoms, wooo:

Fandoms I can hold a conversation in:

Doctor who (mostly post 2005)

Star wars (mainly prequel but here I am, also havent read anything, only watched things, i dont mind spoilers i havent finished everything)

Harry Potter

Alex Rider (ik how toxic some servers are)

Ruby Redfort (I can't find any active ones)

I could ramble for hours about ocs in original universes but that's not much of an equal conversation thats just me ranting about mine and a friends 3 year project lol.

I'm aware of problematic authors btw, I don't like them either, but I like the books/shows and they are very seperate for me.

Fandoms I don't know much but would love to talk about anyway

Halo (I adore Reach and Halo 3)

Marvel (I've only watched films and like 2 shows)

Good Omens (watched the show, in the middle of the book, yeah I know I did that in the wrong order shh)

James Bond (I'm more Daniel Craig era)

Star trek

Fandoms I like but could not talk about but I'd still be okay if that's all you have

Gotham

White collar

Most video games

I may add more eventually.

I'm already in a H.I.V.E server, any people from there that see this, your server is beautiful, I just can't hold a conversation about H.I.V.E for my life.

Anyway sorry for taking up your pages, Disboard just aint helping.

All in all, trying to work on my anxiety by finding people who have common interests to talk to via voice chats.

All responses are welcome (comments or private messages idm), any mistakes in what I've written, sorry.

Sorry again for ranting a little and if I'm demanding in any way.

Ciao.

[tortilla-of-courage]

Blog Intro/Master Post

Hi! I’m Tortilla (or Tort or whatever you wanna call me), any pronouns/gendered terms are fine but i default to she/her, local SkSw nerd

I periodically reply to a bunch of asks in a row, so... yeah, be aware lol.

i try to tag TWs if possible but if you ever need me to tag something just hit me up! (i usually do it in “#tw thing” format)

like/reblog spam are more than welcome! go wild, don’t be shy, you’re not annoying me at all /gen

i’m currently in college so i’m not posting as much but i usually try to setup a queue

i swear. a lot. i say the Fuck word Everywhere. i usually only tag “#swearing” on art posts, otherwise it’s free real estate

please don’t get overly NSFW in my asks or i’ll block you

i tag spoilers for ALL Zelda games, in case you don’t want to get something spoiled! format is “#game subtitle spoilers” (like, “#skyward sword spoilers”)

i also do post reacts of zelda games whenever i play! in that case i tag them as “#tortilla plays acronym” (ex. “#tortilla plays sshd”, “#tortilla plays oos”), so just assume those have spoilers AND will be spammy sometimes, so if you wanna block them go ahead. general tag for these will be "#tortilla plays" if you want a block all lmao

On Art Usage, you CAN use my art as: 

profile pictures/headers (with a link to my blog if possible)

discord emojis/stickers

reaction pictures

for translation into other languages, please DM/send in an ask first!

please DON’T:

repost my art (with “repost” meaning saving the picture, then uploading it yourself somewhere, like say Pinterest, Twitter, Tumblr, etc - reblogs are NOT reposting, and those ARE encouraged)

LU Master Post (oh my god. the links all broke. i need to fix this. eventually. sorry.)

Zelda Master Post (needs updating)

Fast Food AU Master Post (needs updating)

For navigation tags and more info check the read more! <3

Other blogs:

main: @amamillalatortilla

fast food AU (WIP): @tortilla-of-wisdom

theories/language analysis/translations (WIP): @tortilla-of-power

AO3 Account: TortillaKun

normal art account: @tortillakun

english isn't my native language (it's spanish), so if i ever make a mistake I'm sorry in advance. i dont really need you to point it out unless it's like smth bad lmao

About asks/DMs: PLEASE don’t send in asks with overly NSFW content (xILF jokes and similar stuff are okay, but nothing explicit). I am 23 but i have no interest in getting that kind of message, fandom related or not, from anyone. Also please don’t objectify me in any form??? Overall don’t be an asshole. If you do that stuff I won’t hesitate to block you.

related but id prefer if you dont send me several paragraphs of fanfiction. if you really want me to read smth you can just post it somewhere and let me know where it is and I'll probably check it out

as for tags, here’s the main ones i use for original content besides fandom-related ones:

#tortilla rambles: just me saying whatever nonsense in a text post

#tortilla thinks: theory posts, or just pointing out coincidences between the games

#tortilla asks: asks i reply to 

#tortilla posts: most of my original posts (art / theories / writing / etc), but lately i’ve been using it to tag stuff that doesn’t fit the art/writing tags

#tortilla reblogs: for, well, reblogs. in case you want to block that since i sometimes reblog a lot of stuff.

#tortilla writes: my writing (don’t write much but.. it happens sometimes lol)

#tortilla arts: all my art (will mostly be mspaint doodles but there might be something nicer thrown in every once and then)

#tortilla queue: queue tag

#Zelda art: my Zelda art (no AUs - besides maybe my own every once in a while)

#linked universe art: my Linked Universe AU art

All purely Zelda content (both original and reblogged) will be tagged #legend of zelda, with Zelda games tagged by their subtitles (”#Skyward Sword”, etc). The spoiler tag for each game is the title followed by Spoilers (”#Skyward Sword Spoilers”). will use #tortilla’s zelda tag for asks to not clog the main tags

All Linked Universe stuff (both original and reblogged) will be tagged #linked universe. Will use #tortilla’s lu tag when it comes to asks relating to LU, to try and not flood the actual tag with all that

LU stuff won’t be tagged with the main games’ tags, to keep stuff separated, unless under very specific circumstances (mostly in reblogs). if any of my original posts do mix the two it was probably an oversight, as i try not to do it, both at request of LU’s author and to respect the Zelda fandom’s space as a whole. The one exception to this might be my post about the Hylian Written Language, where I only included LU at the end for a brief conclussion regarding the entire thing

also, very rarely i’ll reblog something that’s not Zelda, like, at all. but if I do it’s almost 100% because it reminded me of a Zelda/LU character. anyways, if you dont wanna see those, i’ll tag them as #not zelda

feel free to @ me in anything! you can also send in asks or a submission, but please note that currently i have almost 200 asks, so it might take me a while to reply, or i might not in the long run if i end up deleting them if i feel it’s too late to reply to them. sometimes i overlook stuff since i can get a bunch of asks a day, so if you think it’s of utmost importance i look at it right that moment, feel free to send in another ask asking about it

Additional tags you might wanna check out/block/silence/etc:

#tortilla cries over animals: asks with pics of people’s pets - not sure how they started but they still come every once in a while, so if you wanna block it (or browse it) here it is. will usually be tagged along “#animals” and the respective animal in the pictures

#loftwingsona time: the craze about what SkSw Link would name his loftwing that slowly evolved into people making loftwingsonas. yeah oddly specific

#the linkceler saga: what the title says. look in it at your own risk

#tortilla plushie world: people shared plushies with me so?? yeah

#translation shenanigans: me and other people talking about translation differences in SkSw (at the moment, might cover other games later on)

#fav tag: very recent, but i’ll use it for posts that i really want to go see again from time to time c:

#tortilla plays sshd, #tortilla plays oos: my live-react posts about stuff that happens while i play the games. will add more as i play them. they WILL have spoilers so be aware