#originally a comic then i died halfway so have this

[quarroar]

vashwood week day 1

[lowkeyrobin]

Hii! I’m requesting a five hargreeves x reader? like even in every place, every timeline they always doesn’t end up together because they can’t for some reason?? maybe something angsty (i love angst omggogn). Thank you! 🫶

oooo okay okay! I can definitely try for you! :)) ; I'm not the best with angst but I'll give it a shot lol ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy! ; also this was super fun to write, and this song is so awfully tua core I cannot. ; also this is formatted in different timelines for each break, the origin is always the same though the events in each timeline are all kinda different to a point but still surround the shows umbrella academy just to clear up any confusion

FIVE HARGREEVES ; again and again

summary ; in every timeline, you and five don't make it to the finish line. it's not meant to be.

warnings ; language, talk of death/murder, child abuse, gun violence

track ; again and again, the bird and the bee

word count ; 1.3k

masterlist

Every single timeline led to your untimely demise. You could never just have a happy ending. Whether it be a death, betrayal, the never-ending apocolypse getting in your way, you and Five just couldn't have a moment in peace to just be happy and live.

Somehow, in every timeline, you'd wind up together, no questions asked, not romantically, at least. Events and trigger points always kept you light years apart.

Since the ripe age of thirteen, he'd been fighting to get his way home. He spent damn near fifty years trapped in an apocalyptic world, searching for any answers, or just an escape. He cried by his siblings' dead bodies for years, watching as they rotted into the dead Earth. He trained himself into the deadliest assassin on the planet, his DNA being mixed with those of serial killers to enhance himself, which was not run by him first.

You spent most of your life trapped in a facility, being trained as a child soldier, working your way into a government weapon. You never knew anything until Five rescued you. You could barely interact with people like a normal person. All you knew was harm, violence, people looking at you, expecting something out of you. It took you forever to realize that Five and his siblings weren't like everyone you'd ever known inside a lab, they were family.

You were both science experiments until you'd found your ways out.

But just because you flee one bad decision doesn't mean you escaped them all.

"Y/n!" Five shouts, lunging toward you, trying to protect you from The Handler's automatic weapon.

Though, no one could survive five shots to the face and chest.

You fall on your face, an arm reaching out toward him before he also falls alongside his siblings. He lays next to you, the powerful strikes having both knocked you back. He struggles to breathe, gasping for any last bit of life to keep him long enough, calling for anything he had left inside to save himself.

"I'm glad you're still alive," she smiles deviously, glancing over the bloody mess she'd caused, standing over him, pressing the weapon to his forehead. "You got to see how this all played out,"

He slowly turns his head, looking at your lifeless expression, eyes half opened, staring at him as blood trails from your lips. The Handler chuckles, amused by his infatuation with you. God, he'd ruin any timeline for you.

"It'll be okay, Five. I can keep the world spinning just fine without you."

Bang!

"Five!?" you scream frantically, barely able to keep yourself afloat in the deep oceanic water. It was fucking freezing and it burned your eyes to the point you'd rather rip them out yourself.

You gasp, choking up some saltwater before wading up to the shore, slightly unaware of the previous events. One moment you and Five were fighting some mysterious, comical super-villain with powers and the next moment you were halfway drowning in the deep water down the cliff. How you hadn't died was beyond you.

You sit on the sandy shore, laying on your back, eyes closed to protect yourself from the burning sun above. Anything to just feel warm again.

You spread your jacket over a rock, waiting for it to slowly dry in the sun. You rest your boots next to it, resting your feet up on the rock while you lay the rest of yourself on the sand.

With your mind so foggy and your eyesight so dizzy, you end up falling asleep on the sandy shore without the presence of Five. Jesus Christ, you'd completely forgotten about the dinner you set up that evening. Screw any plans to try and confess to him, then.

When you wake up at the break of dawn the next morning, you realize that Five is no longer by your side, nor was he in the first place when you saved yourself from the water. You scramble into the sea, looking for him like maybe he was able to survive underwater for twelve hours.

After frantic searching with no leads, you fall to your knees, soaking yourself once more.

You spent the next three decades waiting for him on that shore. You visited every day you could, waiting for him for hours when you had nothing better to do, waiting for the tides to bring him back to you.

You didn't know why you kept your hopes up all those years, believing he'd appear from the sea like he'd been protected by magical creatures beneath the deep blue. You just couldn't accept that the water had become his tomb and you couldn't help it.

The haunting sounds of waves crashing on land and the sound of seagulls fill your ears in your sleep while you dream up nightmares of finding his skeleton on the beach, accompanied by his tattered uniform.

Your arms were open as you await his return, whenever, wherever, it would be.

"This finally the end of the apocalypses?" you ask, a drink resting in your hand as you sit beside Five at the bar.

He shrugs. "Guess so. We can't fix it, there's no hope" he sighs, taking a shot. "I love you, Y/n,"

"Love you too, dude" you reply casually, taking a shot after him. You glance back at Sloane and Luther, watching them live up their last night together. "Wanna go spend whatever time we have left together?"

"I don't dance," he chuckles.

"Oh, come on," you roll your eyes, "We're gonna die for good, enjoy life while you can." you hold out a hand for him, waiting for him to take it as you flash puppy dog eyes at him.

He sighs, setting his glass down, taking your hand. He allows you to drag him onto the dance floor, joining the couples and Viktor, Ben, and Klaus as Kehlani's Vegas plays over the stereo. You both drunkenly dance together, enjoying the solemn, mutual love between you two one last time.

Unrequited love, my favorite trope.

You dance the night away until you fade into the fabric of the universe, joining the other Hargreeves as you're mushed into dust, creating mere stars in the sky, surrounded by billions of others.

You'd see each other again someday.

You squeeze Five's hand tightly, keeping your eyes glued on him as the glowing durango-marigold soup ooze surrounds your ankles. The family shares defeated looks, enjoying their last moments together.

Five stares at you with tears in his eyes, his cheeks slightly red. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. I couldn't protect you in any universe."

You raise an eyebrow, wondering what he was talking about. Maybe more about that diner he found in that subway he kept blinking to.

"The diner. Every timeline ends with an apocalypse because of us, because of the marigold," he shakes his head. "And in every one, I couldn't save you,"

You search his eyes, looking for dishonesty, which you couldn't find. "...There had to be a timeline where I couldn't save you, Five. You tried. I tried. We tried."

He looks down at the rising ooze, watching and feeling as it eats his waist. He's silent, defeated in himself, knowing he couldn't do anything right. He couldn't save his family, he couldn't save his love, he couldn't even confess to them. He was dying, knowing that he failed. He failed everyone he ever gave a fuck about.

He squeezes your hand, feeling his neck start to be consumed, looking up at the ceiling with the others. Some of the roof had been torn away, exposing the night sky.

He softly smiles, glancing over at you. "There's Sagittarius,"

You smile, recognizing the pattern of stars above.

"See you guys in the next timeline?" Allison sniffles.

You nod. "See you in a minute,"

"Where are we meeting, again? It's not gonna be this shithole" Viktor chuckles.

"How about somewhere peaceful? Anywhere" Five replies.

"Tropical," Klaus suggests with a soft smile. "Tropical sounds nice,"

"Tropical it is, then."

[fractualized]

Today in "I know we bust on comics a lot around here but there are still plenty of comics worth your time," I think Robin Lives is off to a promising start!

Also, I have to say, I found myself comparing it to Three Jokers. For one thing, it seems like much more of an examination of trauma than Three Jokers was purported to be. For another, while Three Jokers had me doubting that Geoff Johns really read The Killing Joke, Robin Lives feels like JM DeMatteis gives a crap about what actually happened in "Death in the Family."

But my petty grudges aside, here's what I liked about Robin Lives #1, with lots of spoilers. (And images of child murder and such, obviously.)

Unless there are shenanigans later, Joker definitely dies on the very first page.

Falls at Bruce's feet. Aw. :(

So this presents to us an instant mystery! Was Bruce responsible? Or was it Jason? Someone else entirely? Looks like the answer will be in three more issues. For now, we flash back to the aftermath of Jason's near-death.

DeMatteis deals with Joker's infamous ambassadorship by simply… taking it away. Which is pretty funny to me.

"Honestly, we were coming off a pretty wild party when we made that decision. Who knows what we were thinking? Hahaha, no hard feelings, right— What's that gas??"

I should note the narration in the purple box, which starts before this scene. Halfway through the issue, we learn that this story is being narrated by Dr. Saraswati Dev (aka Sara), a trauma doctor that Bruce hires for Jason. As we read what happens in this deviation from canon, she examines how we should view people who do such terrible things when their own lives and actions are affected by mental illness, their own trauma, and so on. It's an admittedly blunt story-telling tactic, spelling out the nuance for the reader, but I don't mind it, and it tells us that this version of Jason's story won't end cleanly.

Sara also clearly knows much more about Batman and his sidekicks than the average civilian, which raises the question of how she gets so involved in their lives. I'm hoping it's not because she becomes a love interest… but then again if that's presented as one of Bruce's screwed up mistakes, that has potential!

Anyway, as reviewed in a previous post, Joker was uneasy about killing Jason from the start, and that doesn't change in this version. When Bruce rescues the Iranian representatives, Joker tries to downplay what he did.

Hee hee, "Batsy-boo."

Joker can't escape for long, though.

And I have to pause here to note that this scene is reminiscent of the climax in the "Going Sane" storyline, which DeMatteis also wrote.

[Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #68]

There are differences in the scenarios, of course, but the other thing about "Going Sane" is that Joker/Joseph repeatedly refers to the urge to return to his former self as drowning.

[Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #66]

So in Robin Lives, it adds an extra kick when Bruce overturns Joker's boat and then stands by as Joker drowns.

Oh god that feeling when your secret fears come to fruition

But don't worry!

This is all an interesting variation "Death in the Family." Then, in his grief, Bruce was constantly fluctuating on if he was going to kill Joker, and his eventual attempt was trapping Joker in a crashing helicopter. In Robin Lives, he seems ambivalent too, again engineering the circumstances for Joker to die but not being an entirely active participant, and also not angry at Clark for rescuing him. (Speaking of which, Clark sure as heck didn't rescue Joker from the original helicopter incident. I guess he's ambivalent in his own way!)

So Joker is returned to Arkham Asylum, where Bruce talks to the current director, Dr. Benjamin Stoner (who evidently really was the director at the time but also a literal agent of chaos??? OK I guess I'll keep that in mind). Stoner pushes back on Bruce's assessment of the Joker.

At the time, Bruce vanishes, but as we see in the narration when Bruce faildads hard with a recovering Jason, he later seems to reflect on Stoner's words along with Jason's.

Jason appears at the start of the issue in the hospital, but we finally get into it with him in the second half. He keeps withdrawing from Bruce and Alfred, so Dick appears to provide some emotional support.

The page already notes that, no, this chat is not going to be enough to get Jason back to baseline. But it's also darkly hilarious that Dick thought it would be, especially keeping in mind that the implication is that this is the only time Dick comes over, and it's after Jason has been listless for some time. It's almost like this whole family is bad at feelings.

But Bruce does finally hire a professional, our narrator.

Of course, Jason overhears their discussion and thinks Bruce is planning to send him away.

Ouch.

Jason decides to prove that he's totally fine, actually, by saving a gala from Scarecrow by himself. Did you guess that he gets hit with fear toxin? Because yeah, they always get hit with fear toxin!

Oh my god he just wanted his mom to save him 😭

OH GOD FOR A SECOND I FORGOT IT WAS FEAR TOXIN

I should take a second to jump back and note that Jason imagining Joker getting one right between the eyes, just like we saw at the start, feels like a solid indication that in the end, he will definitely be Joker's killer... but, well, you really don't know until it happens.

So Jason is out of commission, but before Scarecrow can kidnap him for interrogation, Batman finally shows up. Bruce beats the everloving crap out of Crane, obviously still consumed with anger about what happened in Ethiopia. The freaking cops have to ask him to stop.

And then the final page is just more of the saddest of sadtimes.

I do love that first narrative detail in the top panel. Bruce is feeling angry and guilty but also humiliated and ashamed. He knows Jason is a vulnerable kid who needs help, but as always, Jason also represents Bruce's personal failures. He couldn't get Jason to do exactly as he was told. He couldn't protect Jason from harm. He couldn't maintain the image of Batman as invulnerable, not with this terrified boy shaking on the ground. Bruce does not have control.

It's very human, and it's a key ingredient in whatever disaster is to come. Even if we didn't have Sara's final questions in the last two panels, we can already tell that Bruce is going to continue to make not-great choices.

I've already ordered #2, and I'm looking forward to reading what DeMatteis has in store in the next three issues. Barbara has to make an appearance, right? And she'd be a great candidate for the shooter...

[cadmium-free]

Day 13 of 26 with @neopetsdotcom

CELLAR DWELLER (1988)

Lauren's Review

This year, for our October movie marathon, Awl and I very carefully picked movies that were 90 minutes or under (watching a movie every day is harder than you’d think!) and this is the first one that I’ve been truly so disappointed at the fact it wasn't longer

It’s literally SUCH a unique concept and plot and setting and the ensemble cast is a lot of fun. It sets up so many interesting possibilities, but an hour and 10 minutes is Not nearly long enough for the story it starts telling or to deal with the fallout or implications of any of what it introduces

It starts off soo strong but at about the halfway mark it’s like the movie realizes it’s bit off more than it can chew and starts rushing to resolve the plot as sloppily and hastily as an essay written the night before it’s due. It’s such a shame. I could have watched so much more of this and there is so much potential for it to be great

It was still an enjoyable watch! there’s a lot of nice gooey gore scenes and the creature design is exquisite. I’ll just never stop mourning for the movie it might have been

Awl's Review

hit new artist residency where you voluntarily make art in the house from Evil Dead for a month

i'm very charmed at how mean spirited this is to artists (if you want a really deep cut, its scathing attitude about artists reminds me of artist Alex Bag's film piece Untitled Fall '95, which is the origin of that famous clip of Bjork explaining a television). 

the one hot guy for everyone to love, the vicious vent art, the finger painting and bad performance art, the lowbrow art haters, the nasty gossip, and the plagiarism! it's got all of the worst of art institutions. it's very funny. somehow slots itself into my very tiny canon of things that get art school correct (Untitled Fall '95, Blue Period, and now Cellar Dweller)

as an actual movie, i don't think it's great. it's got a really compelling concept: Jeffery Combs makes demons real by drawing what looks to be horror erotica. he dies for his horny art and then 30 years later a woman is like, wow, you ever heard of that horror artist who murdered a woman and burned his studio down? he's my idol! and she too draws demons to life with the power of comics.

tragically it doesn't use the monster very well, but i do like its low budget solution of using comic panel illustrations to show the kills. it rushes through its plot once it sets itself up, so there isn't much tension, and then it doesn't seem to know where to go. it's the kind of movie that would be fun to rent and watch half paying attention and goofing off with your friends. or to makeout to, in honour of the very mild horror erotica comic.

[angrypedestrian]

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

I'm gonna be honest, I feel like I have been VERY behind on reading/watching/listening to ANYTHING this year. I've only gotten through 3 books, and have big to listen to/to watch/to play piles, but! I shall try to find something to rec.

Books/Comics I have only read 3 books this year and I hattteeee it, but at least one of them was Hanif Abdurraqib's A Little Devil In America, which I finally got around to after buying it almost 3 years ago. 1000% must read imo. I'm sitting on his new one that came out a couple months ago, and I AM going to read this year. I AM. Also, I went to go see him speak a few weeks ago and he complimented my Fireworks shirt because he is one of the few people who loves them as much as I do.

I have read a lot of comics this year though! James Tynion's The Deviant is probably the one I would recommend to you most specifically, it is VERY dark, but VERY good. It's still in progress though, but I think should be wrapped up by the end of the year. Also Jeff Lemire's Phantom Road. It's real weird, I dunno what the hell is going on with it, but I'm enjoying the ride so far. Jeff has another book running right now called Fishflies, which is more traditional Lemire, weird and sad and Canadian. Also very good, but Phantom Road is the one I'm currently enjoying more of the two if I had to pick.

TV/Movies I finally got around to watching the first season of The Terror, which I was a FOOL for missing out on when it was first released. What a fucking television program!!! But other than that, I think anything else you might be interested in that I've seen you've already watched lol. I don't know if Julio Torres' work is up your alley, but his new show Fantasmas is fucking great so far. Very in the weirdo vein of Los Espookys, or like, literally anything he has ever created.

In a weird twist I've watched a lot more movies this year than TV, which hasn't happened in perhaps ever? My biggest recommendation will be for The People's Joker, which unfortunately is not available to stream anywhere yet, I don't think, but hopefully should be soon. I also, to very much my own surprise, really enjoyed the Glenn Powell vehicle Hit Man. Richard Linklater I think can be very hit or miss, but this one was fun if bizarre.

Music I've been trying very hard not to get caught up in the FOMO of roughly 40 albums being released a week that I want to listen to. I think I've finally hit a wall of how much new music I can actually sit down and listen to and appreciate in a given week, so this year has been an exercise in letting go of the need to be on top of everything the second that it drops.

There's this band called Super American that I love, and I can't really figure out why? They're a scrappy little pop-rock-ish duo thing, and they can write hooks for days, but it's often mixed with some of the corniest shit I've ever heard. There's one track on their new record (called Gangster of Love, I fucking hate it) that has a part that sounds like a fucking LFO song. It should suck! I don't know why I don't think it sucks! So your mileage may really vary with that one, but I think baseline it's a fun and silly little summer record.

Also, I can't believe I'm saying this, but the new Story So Far album...rules? Truly did not expect it at all. Parker I am so sorry your dad died, but my god you guys wrote some of your best songs out of it. And for a left-er field rec, the new Hurray for the Riff Raff that came out earlier this year is fantastic, a kind of meandering back to some of their original sound, but in such a more realized way than those earlier records. Just a very gentle and beautiful album.

[twistedtummies2]

Year of the Bat - Number 16

Welcome to Year of the Bat! In honor of Kevin Conroy, Arleen Sorkin, and Richard Moll, I’m counting down my Top 31 Favorite Episodes of “Batman: The Animated Series” throughout this January. We’ve reached the halfway point of the countdown! TODAY’S EPISODE QUOTE: “Fear’s a prison, you see, and I’ve just broken out!” Number 16 is…Never Fear.

Out of all the Scarecrow’s appearances in B:TAS, this episode from the TNBA era is generally considered to be the best. It’s one of several stories taken directly from the comics, too, as the episode is (somewhat loosely) based on the comic tale “Fear For Sale.” The original comic was published in 1987, and was chiefly created by writer Mike W. Barr, and artist Alan Davis. While that story is really, REALLY freaking good – seriously, one of the Top 5 best Scarecrow comics, in my opinion, without question – I honestly think the Animated Series adaptation is even better. Not only that, but in some ways – despite the fact no one actually dies in this story (though several come awfully close) – I would argue the cartoon is darker than said comic, as well. Wrap your head around that! The premise focuses on the Scarecrow returning to Gotham City, presumably after a long dormancy, with a brand new form of his Fear Toxin: instead of the usual method of installing fear in people, causing them to hallucinate violent apparitions and have horrifying visions of their greatest phobias and traumas, this new gimmick TAKES AWAY people’s fear. Now, one may wonder, why is that such a bad thing? Well, here’s the thing: fear is a rational human response, intended to keep us out of danger. We run away from things that scare us, or stay alert for trouble in times of distress, for self-preservation’s sake; we avoid doing certain things at least partially because fear reminds us of the consequences of those actions. If you REMOVE fear…then a person has no restraints, no cares, and quite possibly no conscience. This is where things get interesting: while going undercover to try and figure out Scarecrow’s plans, Bruce gets a dose of the Anti-Fear Toxin himself. Batman becomes impulsive, thrillseeking…and, most alarming of all, homicidal. It’s therefore up to Robin to keep Batman from going down a path he must not travel, while also trying to stop the Scarecrow’s newest bid for power. The first thing most people talk about with this episode is Scarecrow himself, and for good reason. The character is given a brand new voice, provided by Jeffrey Combs for this outing, as well as a brand new look, which most people agree is far superior to the one from the first three seasons. While the Scarecrow is great in those earlier seasons, I do agree with the apparent majority that the version found in “Never Fear” is a superior rendition, simply because he’s much more creepy to behold and to hear. I was never really scared of the Scarecrow himself in his earlier outings, but this version is a whole new story. The uniqueness of his plan in this story is also worth commending, whether it’s based on an already-published comic or not. However, I think a lot of people underestimate what a good episode this is for Batman and Robin, as well. I may or may not have said this in an earlier entry, but I actually preferred Tim Drake as Robin over Dick Grayson, at least in the Animated Series. This episode is a great example of why. Robin really takes the spotlight and initiative here, as it’s ultimately really Tim that saves the day. There’s this great scene that I absolutely love, where Batman – under the influence of Scarecrow’s toxin – tries to convince Tim, after Robin ties him up to keep him from hurting people or running into trouble, to let him go. Kevin Conroy’s performance is so convincing, it almost tricks the viewer, as well as Robin himself, but Tim doesn’t take the bait. The two really do feel like partners here, in a lot of ways, and it’s a great tale for both. Whether you love it for the heroes or the villain, “Never Fear” is arguably the pinnacle of Scarecrow storytelling in the Animated Series. I say “arguably” because of one other episode I’ll get to later in the countdown…but that’s another story.

Tomorrow we move into the Top 15! Hint: “Kids these days. No respect.”

[goddamnwebcomics]

Ranked from Best to Worst: Webcomics of Goddamn Webcomics (2024 Edition)

It has been a year since I started riffing the new batch of comics at hand, and 15 months since I made this previous ranking, so it's about time it got updated again. This time, if I have nothing new to add to a comic's description, it has been italicised.

0. Gene Catlow

When I added Gene Catlow to the ranking, I thought there was nothing like it on this blog and is thus unrankable. One year later, I have been mostly proven right. I still hate how terrible the pacing for this comic was in its later years, and honestly outside of Burke and Sulfur this comic's ending is hard to get through. I think the biggest strength this comic has over any other comic is the emotional versatility. Yes, it's not perfect and can often get extremely tonally inconsistent. I still recommend for people to read it, but if you skip every page after Dorzoi dies outside of Burke and Sulfur pages, I don't blame you.

1. Alien Dice

Alien Dice is still the best comic quality-wise I've read. I would actually argue it does the emotional versatility much better than Gene Catlow does, despite its VERY grimdark setting, which is impressive. Still, it has the occasional inconsistent characterization, it has the ANIMAL ROMANCE, it has the terribly written villains, it has Riley. Chel has gotten some competition with likable protagonists, but still doesn't change the fact Chel and Lexx are the only likable main protagonist couple in this blog.

2. Peter & Company

Some people may be upset by this ranking, but it speaks more about the quality of the shit I riff on this blog than the comic itself. Peter & Company does the bare minimum to not be bad. It has some really good dramatic scenes and decent art, but it's flaws are as hard to ignore as the cameos in the latter half of the comic. Combine that with some of the worst explained worldbuilding in this blog, and I don't see another decent by this blog's standards comic going below this.

3. Daisy Falls Apart

Daisy Falls Apart is a parody comic that doesn’t exactly break new ground. It’s harmless but I wouldn’t read it a second time. It’s held down by its horribly unlikable protagonist and how the whole conflict of the comic is very quickly resolved, and also too many sexual jokes in something that is based on a children’s game. Out of all the comics I’ve riffed, this one is the most mediocre, and number 3 meaning mediocre should worry you.

4. Dominic Deegan

You might be shocked to see Dominic Deegan this high up, yeah, if I did this few months earlier it would be much lower, but recently Dominic Deegan has gone through colossal improvement. However, it still has the existing problems, and especially in its past it has been rather terrible. Still, Dominic does have the credit of being an interesting case as a protagonist. He is not likeable but he is not that hateable either, because he is not a horrible person. You hate because of what a saint he is to the comic's world, not because of what he does. Still, the painful lack of nuance in its commentary can make it a cringy read, its tone is all over the place and comedy isn't as funny as some of the above comics.

5. Carnivores

This comic was originally a painful experience, but so many painful experiences came after it, it feels like one of the less worse ones despite having the worst art. Also i can tell Austin did this comic for fun, and not to convey a deep message. Also it’s probably the only fetish webcomic in history where fetish itself starts taking a backseat halfway through.

6. Bloody Mary

Bloody Mary satisfies your specific hunger for Johnny Test characters commiting several crimes in rapid succession. Reading the comic both entertains me immensely but it also makes me feel dirty. The crossover stuff is there to please the author and not really provide any point. It is unique in that the comic doesn’t feature a full cast ensemble but it’s rather just focusing on Mary ruining people’s lives and interacting some random character from a North American animated thing. The only reason it’s below Carnivores is the suspicious amount of unintentional racism???

7. Warmage

Warmage is enjoyable for all the wrong reasons. None of Dumok’s other comics have gone to the same level of bizarreness Warmage offers with each page. However it is also the host to the long-since-dethroned worst character to ever appear in this blog, Tsuki. Other than that, Warmage seemed to have semi-intriguing lore and also ended on a rather decent arc, so i think i could’ve been interested to see it continue, just because i wanna see how much worse it can get. But then again, spanking scene.

8. Kit n Kay Boodle

It’s amazing that year by year, Kit and Kay Boodle gets more and more tame. More than anything it helped to expose me to Albert’s usual writing bullshit, but somehow it manages to be tame compared to craziness of Gene Catlow. When you know that EVERYONE is fictional in the real life bits, it just loses the nightmare quality it once had. That being said I am bitter half of the riff is locked behind Tumblr’s stupid filter system.

10. TwoKinds

Yes, I'm afraid TwoKinds is occupying Dominic Deegan's former spot. It honestly suffers from very similar issues as early Alien Dice did, just without the likable protagonists. It has some very surprisingly progressive things for its time, but that doesn't change the extremely confusing worldbuilding, terrible antagonists, yet ANOTHER "evil side of the protagonist" and of course the sympathetic slaveowner. Why did Tomjay think that was a good idea? This comic is kind of stuck in a place where it still has a chance to either go above and beyond the early blog shit, sink below Chugworth Roommates line, or maybe just stay in the same spot as always, if the comic doesn't go through any major quality changes. It is bad, and sometimes painful, but it's not unforgivable, and we'll get to unforgivable soon enough.

-The Chugworth Academy and Roommates Line -

Yes, at this point this isn't a ranking but rather, the point of no return. Once your comic sinks below this line, there's no coming back.

11. Four Girls

Four Girls has some of the most vile, disgusting, terrible jokes and some of them just don't make sense. The characters (especially Heaven) are all extremely hateable. You just wish you were reading Daisy's Fall Apart instead. Thankfully it is short, but it is pretty much at same level of quality as Chugworth and Roommates are.

12. Spinnerette

Spinnerette is stuck at a sad, pitiable state. It's like watching the continued downfall of an internet celebrity. The story keeps doing the same mistakes over and over again, and desperately trying to pretend it is not something that is permanently stuck in early 2010's. At this point however, I am so used to Kraw's bullshit gimmicky writing and moments of drama being forced in arcs where they don't belong, I don't even care anymore. At this point, every decent character has been fucking ruined, but it is what it is. Kraw doesn't care about anything else besides the money going into his Patreon so he can keep making porn comics and figurines and Spinny dakimakuras for his disgusting audience.

13. Peter & Whitney

Peter and Whitney should have never existed. Kraw has more of a direction with Spinnerette than this comic does. It's supposed to be an autobiographical slice of life sequel to Peter and Company, but it is just a request from fans that shouldn't have been fulfilled. Peter feels like a whole different person, and there is just no conflict. I don't give a single fuck about college life of these characters, and also, it's existence ACTIVELY HARMS the existence of Peter and Company, a much better comic, because of all the retcons and foregone conclusions.

14. Las Lindas

Las Lindas is even more hopeless than Spinnerette and Peter and Whitney, because this comic will introduce the decent thing, and before you know it decent thing is ruined. At least Spinnerette has decent variety of different stories. Las Lindas will never leave that fucking farm, if we don’t count the spinoff comics half of which are non-canon and are about the same level of quality as main comic anyway. My brief revisit showed me the post-Alejandra era wasn’t as hideous as I thought but it’s pretty damn close, and with the ever-worsening artstyle and an apparent INTRODUCTION OF SUPERHEROES, Las Lindas’s level of quality could best be described with that panel where Tootsie drives into a river.

15. Carry On

Carry On may legitimately have the most hateable protagonists in this blog. It's a comedy comic from a time period when comedy was not at its worst, per se, but definitely at its most embarrassing. There are too many terribly aged jokes and just terrible jokes in general, which make our protagonists look like vicious murderers. If you are also going into this comic without reading 21st Century Fox first, you're not going to understand anything, and even if you have read it you're still going to be confused. Whether or not Rackeroon Saga will lift this comic out of the abyss remains to be seen.

16. Console Girl

Console Girl is the first comic in this ranking I just completely despise. It makes Ctrl-Alt-Delete look like Penny Arcade, it’s a comic about an ecchi console that comes to life but midway through we get a plot twist and it turns out to be a cyberpunk comic that tries to treat humanoid consoles fighting seriously…or not really, as the comic has a problem taking itself seriously, outside of some questionable moments where the author seems to project their hidden anger towards video games into the comic??? We also have in-comic non-canon filler arcs, console girls eventually becoming random fetishes instead of things actually relevant to their real counterparts and TOO MANY LITTLE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH ADULT MEN. I’m glad this comic was never finished.

17. Ask the Werewolves

Ask the Werewolves is visually the most disgusting comic I have ever riffed. It's not the art style that is bad, it is what that art style chooses to depict, hideous character designs, disgusting body horror transformations, 100% unerotic sex scenes, men and women fighting their primal urges, giant balls cumming inside dumpsters, vomiting and so much more. Combine that with the fact it tries to include out of place commentary about modern state of housing market and the end result is a comic that angers me more than it should. It still has a surprisingly likable protagonist, but I still don't want to see the said protagonist cum inside dumpsters, or hang out with a colossal woman child who ruined his life. I don't think this comic is gonna go anywhere.

18. Monster Girl Academy

Monster Girl Academy is just…the worst. It was solely created to make Kraw even more rich, but I would forgive that if the comic didn’t just…fail as a webcomic, fail as a porn comic and fail as a narrative period. This comic was designed for lowest common denominator with fetishes that are too weird to be vanilla and too vanilla to be weird. Its existence pisses me off. While other comics I’ve riffed had potential, this never had any semblance of it. The main protagonist is a piece of shit and all his girls are also pieces of shit, the only likable character is a little girl who cries and prays in Spanish, because every character reading this comic can relate to her. Fuck this comic, and I mean it with every letter of that sentence.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Lily of the Valley

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam

Summary: Jason Todd dies and comes back to life. As the League takes him in, he navigates his morality and family values over the years.

Chapters: 19/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Talia al Ghul, Ra’s al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Barbara Gordon, Dick Grayson, Bruce Wayne, Sheila Haywood

Relationships: Jason Todd/Original Character(s)

Additional Tags: Immortal Jason Todd, League of Assassins Jason Todd, Protective Talia al Ghul, Good Parent Talia al Ghul, Jason Todd Needs a Hug, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Hurt/Comfort, Adopted Children, Resurrected Jason Todd

Chapter Nineteen: European Yew

Jason stood outside his old apartment before he dropped Saru’s hand. “Jason, you don’t have to—.”

“There’s—. The last time I was here, the place was made up like a—. It’s a memorial,” Jason interrupted. Saru frowned. “Going in there is like stepping into a coffin… And I won’t do it again. If you go down that alley and head up the fire escape, it’s the one in the middle on the second floor.” Jason pointed her in the direction of his apartment. Jason hugged himself as he watched Saru go up the fire escape. She disappeared, and he pulled his hood up and put on sunglasses, hiding his face.

From the street, Jason had a perfect view of the group home. It looked so friendly on the outside, but Jason knew how places like that were. He glanced backward at his apartment and sighed. His conscience couldn’t let him turn a blind eye to the evil in that house. “Saru… I didn’t leave you. I promise,” Jason mumbled. He rushed across the street to the group home and snuck around back. A few of the boys were out back, boxing. Some of the boys looked excited, while others looked apprehensive. “Hey, kid! You new or somethin’?” a boy shouted. Jason nodded. The boy stood nearly a foot above Jason and approached at a threatening pace. “Come on. Let’s fight.”

Jason chuckled. “No,” Jason answered.

The boy shoved him. “Come on. Are you scared?” he asked.

“I’m not… Trust me,” Jason replied, “And you’re not gonna be able to tick me off.”

The older boy smacked Jason upside his head. “You’re not going anywhere until you fight me… House rules, Princess,” he teased as he yanked Jason’s hair. Jason swatted his hand away and sighed.

“I’m not governed by the law of the house. I’m here to talk to the witch of the house,” Jason replied.

The boy spit in his face, and the other children gasped. Jason bowed and chuckled and wiped the spit from his cheek and glasses. “That wasn’t polite,” Jason replied. Ra’s and Talia trained him better than that. The boy hocked and spat in Jason’s face a second time. “Okay… You won’t get a third time to do that. I promise you this won’t end well… I’m not here to fight.”

Without a word, the boy moved to knee Jason. Jason blocked him, sighing as he knocked the boy off his feet and rolled the boy over onto his stomach as he broke the boy’s arm. The older boy shrieked in pain. “Excuse me. Can any of you point me toward the woman of the house?” Jason asked politely. A gangly boy with glasses nodded and beckoned Jason with an awkward twitch of the head toward the shed. He led Jason halfway through the backyard and stopped.

“You don’t wanna talk to Ma Gunn… You seem like a tough guy. But trust me... Ma Gunn’s no Mother Teresa—.”

Jason pulled the tall boy aside. “That’s what I wanted to know. What’s going on in this place?” Jason questioned. The boy shook his head.

“You don’t wanna know. Trust me,” the tall boy replied. Jason frowned, deciding to leave it be for the time being.

Jason approached the shed and knocked on the door, and the woman blew cigar smoke in his face. She looked past Jason at the commotion in the yard and chuckled. “You break Garrett’s arm?” Ma Gunn asked. Jason nodded. “You’re a tough little shrimp… I’ll give you that. What do you want?”

“Who’s Willis, and why did you think I was some kid named Jason?” Jason asked. He didn’t want anyone in Gotham to know he was alive, but he had to know why she knew them.

“Willis is my son… And Jason’s his son. You’ve got Willis’ hair… But you couldn’t be his kid. His kid died,” Ma Gunn replied, “Willis is dead too.”

“Well, maybe you should get your head checked before you ask a guy if he’s your dead grandson… And I’m serious about your boys. You really should keep a better eye on them. Someone could get killed,” Jason threatened.

“I’d eat you for breakfast, Kid… Come see me when you’ve got a couple of whiskers on your chin,” Ma Gunn teased. Jason huffed and went on his way.

When he reached the sidewalk, Saru ran toward him, grabbed him by his hoodie, and embraced him. “I thought you left me,” Saru whimpered. Jason wrapped his arms around her.

“Let’s go home, okay?” Jason replied. He rested his chin atop her head. “I wouldn’t leave you here alone.”

Saru nodded as she let go and backed away. “Sorry, that was—. That wasn’t—. Yeah. Let’s go home,” Saru stammered.

*

Saru was near-silent on the jet. She lay on the couch watching Jason cook. “Am I allowed to ask about earlier?” Jason questioned.

Saru sat up straight. “Do you remember me telling you that I had a brother?” Saru asked. Jason nodded, glancing up from his vegetables as he watched her unbraid her hair.

“Imay?” Jason asked. Saru nodded.

“Yeah. Imay was the only family I had. We grew up in the League together. I was a baby when our parents died on assignment in England. My brother was six or seven. Imay wasn’t like me. He didn’t take to killing people like I did. He feared me… That’s why he raised me as a Buddhist. He thought it’d make me appreciate the sanctity of life more… So, I don’t kill unless I have to.

“I loved my brother more than anyone in this world. His last assignment was with me. I was supposed to watch his back… Jason… Imay rushed ahead of me when he saw our target. There was a tripwire. He should’ve seen it, but I—. I was so far behind him I didn’t see it either. A flash of light blinded me. When I came to, I was covered—. I was in shock. I stood up and started searching for him.

“So, I thought—.” Saru hid her face in her hands.

Jason frowned. “Saru… I’m so—. I won’t scare you like that ever again. I promise,” Jason whispered. Saru breathed deeply before collecting herself.

“Where did you go? You never said,” Saru replied.

“Oh… I met my grandmother today. I hate her,” Jason replied, “The evil old crook I told you about is my grandma.”

Saru chewed her lip and nodded before laughing. Jason chuckled. “It’s a good thing I didn’t kill her. I can’t kill your grandma, even if she is evil,” Saru roared with laughter. Jason tried to contain his amusement, but it was written all over his face.

“I would’ve forgiven you. I think half the kids there would’ve forgiven you… We can always return and kill my grandma together,” Jason half-joked. Saru walked over to the kitchen and tapped her fingers on the counter. They met eyes, and Jason’s confidence quickly faded. He set the knife down, offering Saru his full attention. “Thank you… For reminding me that I’m alive.” Saru flashed a sweet smile, but her eyes were filled with tears.

“Thank you for letting me see your home,” Saru replied. The tone of her voice carried a sweetness to it, rendering Jason speechless. He could only swallow hard in reply.

[galaxy-omega]

I am unable to think properly after the spiderman movie. Didn't know there was gonna be a part two, halfway through I was like "Dang, how long was this movie again?" And I should've known.

Spoilers belowwww

On one hand I understand Miguel, he has worked so hard to keep the time lines all orderly out of not only fear of what happened to his and the one he took, but also, the fact it's never been done before. Out of infinite universes, seeing something like that happen is defeating. No other universe has ever seen it happen. He couldn't get it. I think it's a selfish part of him, that wants to say "if I can't have my happy story, and no one else can, Miles shouldn't be able to just say he can and take that risk." It's reasonable in his head. It's reasonable in mine. The logic of no one has succeeded so no one is allowed to try is faulted, but with as high of a risk as breaking down other spiderverses, it's an understandable one at that.

Something else I realized, is that the spider link thing, that takes you back to your universe, it doesn't erase all your memories of the spider verse. All of those villains have seen thousands of spiderpeople. Unless there's a process that occurs beforehand or something. But from what I saw, every villain you saw just gets zapped to their own universe with no questions asked or answered. That has to play a part in this eventually, especially with the Prowler from hopefully Tom Holland's universe coming about.

Also, In Gwen Stacy's universe, everything is like watercolored, and based on the feelings of each character the background gets distorted and altered. But when she goes to the spider verse, and a mix of other universes, it's back to Miles universe comic book dotted look. However in the case of the realistic universes or the Lego universe, the spot doesn't alter to be different just by being there. However, neither does Miles from what we've seen

Do you think having altered DNA from universe 42 makes Mile's more suspectable to transversing altered universe's? He's still obviously affected by the Glitch whenever he's in a universe he's not meant to be in.

How do all the spider people in the base not get suspicious? Thousands of spider people were climbing after miles in the chase scene and not one cop or officer, even citizen is like "WTF in the world war z of spiderman is this?"

Also, in the end scene with Universe 42's Miles Morales being the Prowler, do you think that Peter was still spiderman? Like, meant to be? Because if Miles could become dark and evil, you'd think like ever other universe, it would be Peter Parker as spiderman. Maybe miles will meet Peter in that universe. Do you think they'll bring up a old Peter actor to do the voice? Do you think we'll meet them at all?

As for hopes for Beyond the Spider verse, I hope that we get to see more Spiderpunk being spiderpunk, Hobie for life.

I hope we get to see Miles bring home his mom a cake with a nice little message on it.

I hope I get to see more Miguel O'hara cause BARk.

I think we will see other inhabitants of Universe 42's original cast. Like Doc Oc, Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, maybe even MJ. Maybe learn more of how 42's dad died. More of the spiderman voiced by Andy Samburg, what's not to love

Maybe more touching up on some Spider people who find out why Miles is running instead of everyone following blindly.

And I feel like the Spot was kinda just, a background noise at the end of the movie. It seems like he's going to go get more power, but when was the last you heard of him doing anything??? Like, previous to the first 40 minutes of the last bit of the movie? Where he at boy? Sounds sus to me. Having almost every spiderman away from base and trying to hunt down Miles Morales whilst trying to hunt down something that will take over the whole universe. I think they're underestimating the Spot again. Which will be a huge mistake

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 37-40

MTMTE 37

I forgot about Roddy's built-in shades lmAO lookin slick hon

aww, Cyclonus getting overwhelmed with emotion at seeing his old home again... I also like him apologizing for kicking the shit out of Tailgate way back near the beginning of the comic when he got upset at him for making him want to be a Decepticon. All he says is “I'm sorry,” does Tailgate even actually know what for lmAO

so fucked up that the little bit of the Shadowplay arc where Rung was fiddling around with a model ship in the background for two seconds was future Rung the whole time. It was even clearly a model of the Lost Light too

love that Cyclonus allows Tailgate to ride in his cockpit. Something something gay joke

poor Rodimus is so over this time travel shit lmAO

ghsfadjks Chromedome and Rewind are having this heart to heart while Whirl is standing like five feet away

ah yes. The curly straw that marked the fall of Cybertron lmAO

I like how Cyclonus agrees that Tailgate's face is punchable lmfAO

interesting that Rewind and Whirl are on the same page about preventing events in the past to change the future

honestly love the reveal that Brainstorm isn't going back in time to kill Orion Pax and win the war for the Decepticons, he's going back to kill Megatron and prevent the war from ever happening in the first place. It's the kind of thing you could pick up on yourself if you're paying attention but still comes as a shock because we don't understand why just yet

MTMTE 38

hell yeah, I love both Percy and Magnus putting Megatron in his place, fuckin tell him

“God, now I'm starting to sound like him” ha ha he's taking up your brain space idiot, get owned

aww, Brainstorm is good... he was just trying to fix things, for everyone...

god damn, Rewind lmAO you got Megatron so shocked he's speaking in lower case

“Megatron dies and we lose: but the universe wins.” man... truly there was no universe where things worked out for everyone, it was always either Cybertron suffers or everyone suffers and I can't blame Rewind for making that call

the way Chromedome is so gentle with him... yOUR HONOR........

I also cannot blame Whirl for saying “fuck the functionists,” like. He's right lmAO

and there it is, the message at the end of the very first issue. Man, it's already been such a journey and I'm only halfway through the story. I do like Cyclonus pointing out that everything they told Rodimus not to do has a net positive outcome, we've been doing so much good even if we've gotten nowhere with our original objective lmAO

BRAINSTORM IS GOOD... still wild that his thing for Quark was explicitly a crush, even if it was only one-way. But the more that the people he loved suffered, the more he wanted to go back and prevent, he just wanted to stop the suffering...

rip to that dude who became the sparkeater. Absolutely hilarious that it's their own fault that was ever there

aww Brainstorm, you do wanna go back to the present, you just don't know it yet, you're gonna be fine

and everyone rejoiced except for Brainstorm and Megatron, it's fine, they'll get over it

and now we've solidified the functionist universe as a thing that exists. So Brainstorm's actions are technically what brought about our final boss, huh? Not purposefully, but you know. It's wild how integral the functionist universe is to the quest lmAO

MTMTE 39

ah right time to check back in on team cringelord

this fuckin panel of Helex using his hand to take Blip's brain out of his mouth and put it back on his head may as well not exist, all I can think of is the scrapped version of this panel where he takes it out with his own mouth lmfAO

shout out to this page where Tarn explains why he wears the mask for tricking so many people into believing that he didn't actually enjoy torturing people to death and was just misunderstood lmfAO like straight up I saw so many people like “oh he doesn't want anyone to notice him closing his eyes and not watching the murder it must mean he secretly doesn't want to do it and is actually a good guy deep down!!!” and like. I'm gonna be real I don't know what the fuck Tarn meant by all that but I can pick up enough context clues from everything else he's ever said and done to figure out that he Did Not Mean That lmfAO

ah yes, the only member of the DJD who matters, get their asses, Nickel

I do have to say, Tarn running the DJD like a regular-ass office is extremely funny lmfAO “I'm largely happy with your performance, love the dismemberment, but there is room for improvement”

at least alternate Brainstorm tried to keep the rest of the crew safe. It wasn't his fault the DJD are a bunch of fuckin animals lmAO also oouughfhg that panel of Drift trying to protect Ratchet from Tarn still kicks my ass, he'll beg for Ratchet to put him out of his misery when it's his own life in danger but he'll jump in front of the DJD's ringleader to keep him away from Ratchet...

like. This moment where Tarn attacks Tesarus for the crime of daring to question his decision (in this case, his decision to leave Vos and Kaon to die) makes it pretty clear that Tarn is not secretly good lmfAO like straight up I saw so much bitching when Tarn killed Kaon in the Dying of the Light arc because “Tarn would never! This is OOC, the DJD loves each other, they're like a family!!!” and like... *gestures at this entire issue* *gestures at everything Tarn has ever done* This comic spends every moment that Tarn is on screen making it abundantly clear that his whole entire thing is killing his fellow Decepticons for literally any stupid fuckin reason and Tarn stans could not fucking take it when he killed his fellow Decepticon Kaon for a stupid fuckin reason lmfAO smh my head

it's so tragic because I don't even actually hate the DJD as characters, I think they're great villains. When Tarn showed his ass up in Cyberverse I nearly shit my pants with fear, and that's great! That's the mark of a good fuckin villain character! And even him being so pretentious is great because it makes you REALLY wanna see him get defeated! He's an excellent heel! But MAN were Tarn stans the most obnoxious people alive lmFAO they absolutely tainted him for me which is a shame

lol look at this idiot sulking in the snow because his idol denounced his cause ha ha get rendered obsolete, stupid

honestly Deathsaurus is so valid, get his ass

I cannot wait for Megatron to kill all their asses lmfAO god I cannot wait to get to the Dying of the Light, it's my absolute favorite arc and I'll talk about exactly why once we get there

MTMTE 40

and this one's my favorite individual issue, this is the issue that encapsulates everything I love about this comic, this is what it's all about

urhgjdf Pharma was so close to avoiding Delphi... just the nearest miss........

love the setup of Swerve arranging all these glasses for Tailgate to comically crash into and then he just crashes into Ratchet instead, get wrecked grandpa

aww Swerve don't be mean to Ten, it ain' t his fault your bar's empty

Love Chromedome being Brainstorm's defense lawyer in this trial. Also love Brainstorm immediately throwing Rewind under the bus lmAO I mean he's right but also, hilarious thing to try to pull, all things considered

ooh Nautica's so mad

hell yeah Brainstorm, you're right and you should say it, it's not fair to try to pin the actions of alternate Brainstorm on this Brainstorm, and good for Percy for standing up for him too

loooooooove Ratchet glaring while Brainstorm tells Rodimus he doesn't want to be kicked off the ship because it's his home. It was Drift's home too...

oouufgjd love Getaway feeding Tailgate bullshit significantly less, it's so agonizing watching him slowly manipulate him over the course of the comic

love Ratchet lowkey inviting all his closest friends for a final chat under the guise of checking for “super scraplets,” just stupid enough of a thing to be possible

“The only time people really talk to him is when they're sick- and I know how that feels.” RatcheeEEEETTT........🥺

ghsdfjk Ratchet setting Megatron up for failure in Mirage's bar is so mean lmAO but I mean. All he did was suggest Megatron do a poetry reading, it's Megatron's self-made reputation that's gonna make it a failure, so...

also love how First Aid is immediately onto Ratchet, “You know you can just. Ask to talk to your friends like a normal person right”

Ratchet is so sweet with Ten I'm gonna fuckin cry lmfAO

Magnus is Ten's favorite I'm gonna rip the arms of my chair clean oFF

and there he goes, off to find his man... I like. Still can't believe this happened lmfAO when Drift got exiled, I was fully prepared to never see his ass ever again, I figured his relevance was over and if we ever do see him again it'll be a bit part in a different series written by someone else, I can't believe that he was allowed to be cared about enough for someone to want him back, and especially for that someone to be Ratchet. Being a long-time Dratchet shipper while this comic was still going was just a constant stream of Ws and it was wild to experience lmFAO I had never won that hard in my life, I didn't know what to do with myself

also I just remembered, didn't Empire of Stone come out before this issue? So we already knew Ratchet went to go find Drift, we just didn't know when or why, or if it even actually was Ratchet lmfAO I definitely remember a theory floating around that the Ratchet in EOS was a hallucination or something. I also remember thinking, “Oh god, what horrible thing happened that made Ratchet have to leave the Lost Light,” and being floored when the answer was just that he personally wanted Drift back, there was no emergency, he just missed him. Like. What the fuck that's gay........

[creatively-cosmic]

What up, Starry—You already know who it is! B)

Sorry about Tumblr being a buggy mess and crashing halfway through! I’ve experienced the frustration of losing writing due to crashes and it always sucks. But thank you for continuing to answer these questions and satiate my curiosity! Learning more about Missing Numbers is like reading a book that just keeps getting better and better and better with every new chapter. Also: don’t worry about the delays or how long responding takes! You come first and foremost. Your health/work/school/whatever it is ya got going on in your personal life, is infinitely more important than me getting an answer to a question. So please, take your time, as much as you need—I will wait.

(Also, young Red being just as much of a little shit as Blue was is surprisingly wholesome and I love that. And after seeing their heights I realized I’m the same height as Blue! That detail is not important in the slightest, I just thought it was funny.)

Anywho, let’s get into the meat and potatoes, shall we?

First things first: Y’all mentioned biology mechanics and the nature of Glitches? 👀 Well, guess what? I love that kinda stuff! My curiosity is piqued—please explain.

Second question though: What is Leaf’s Duty? What does she do and how do her powers(?) work? Are her abilities like how the move Imprison was in Fallen Leaf?

And third: What’s the relationship/dynamic between Leaf and Red? That comic y’all posted has me wondering what Leaf is warning others about.

That’s all for now though! Please take care of yourself. Have a good day/afternoon/night!

Ahh, thank you so much for your patience! its really appreciated,, im glad youve still been enjoying things- your comments (and your FANART OH MY GOD??) have still been giving us LIFE i truly cannot thank you enough!

Red and Blue’s childhood friendship and rivalry has always been something we’ve wanted to come off as just plain silly and enjoyable- I’m glad we’ve been succeeding in that, hehe. And Blue was actually originally going to be shorter (our height, actually), we just added a few inches to be nicer to him lol

Per usual now, we’ll keep the big stuff under the cut! It’s another long one: Consider this Leaf Lore Part Two.

For the Glitch stuff, we’ve been thinking and might make a BIG formal post going over all of Professor Maple’s speculation and studies, to make it a good access point for the worldbuilding of Missing Numbers. I can’t promise it’ll come soon, but! As a starting point, I do have a pre-written thing with information on different classifications of Glitch that should clear up a good bit to start with. 

Unless we get any sudden further realizations, every Glitch, Corruption, and Anomaly in Missing Numbers (and arguably in Pokemon as a whole) can fall under these five classifications.

Leaf’s duty is the main aspect of what we failed to touch on in your previous question. So, I’ll finish that part of the story. :) 

To answer your questions, we first have to establish how she got her powers. When Leaf died, she did not get to rest peacefully. Most who die in this world don’t. The afterlife for the fallen and forgotten is not pretty. It is not merciful. There is no heaven for the ones who do not matter to God. 

The Distortion exists in layers. At it’s lowest, the farthest from contact with the main reality, is a void of unused, scrapped, and null data. A graveyard, or worse yet, a dump where things that can no longer exist in the surface world go to rot. Unused data. Scrapped NPCs. Removed characters, Pokemon, items. 

Assets of old games that never carried over.

Leaf's soul was discarded here when she was erased from existence at the end of Abandoned Loneliness. Left to rot with the unborn Ghosts that had haunted them both with the intent to drag someone of significance down with them. Hoping they too might escape. That they might receive mercy through her. 

Unfortunately, Leaf was the unloved child. So instead she fell to their ranks, swallowed up by the abyss that was their resting place- thrust as far from reality, from her home, from her friends, from her purpose as feasibly possible. Still conscious. Still aware. Still suffering.

… Leaf was not one to accept things lying down. Leaf was a fighter. She hated injustice, unfairness. She wouldn’t stand for this. She wouldn’t lie down and give up. No matter how suffocating the darkness was. No matter how the bloodied hands tried to drag her further down. No matter how the chaos and corruption tried to break and dismantle her. 

No. Matter. What.

Where there’s a will, there’s a way. And if there was one thing that defined Leaf even more than her bleeding heart, it was that her will was unbreakable.

So she climbed. Climbing over the damned- the forgotten- the spiteful- the vengeful- everything trying to hurt her and pull her down. Focused solely on escaping, on going up. Until things began to become more tangible. Until she could see more than black and red. Until there was light, and color. Until data became form- albeit still broken, chaotic. Numbers. Misplaced bricks. Impossible plants. Incomprehensible collision. 

Glitch City.

She broke through the floor of the second lowest layer of the Distortion, and though the surface’s light was still so far… She’d found solid footing. 

And here, though it may have been quieter… She wasn’t so alone.

The City had the odd few inhabitants. But the first that she met was a strangely familiar boy, a teenager that reminded her of someone she knew, but wrong. With a cocky, lopsided grin, unruly black hair, and bright red eyes. 

Someone who wanted out just as badly as she did.

Leaf and Red never knew each other outside of Glitch City. But during their time trapped there together as children, they were friends. Leaf wasn’t the first person Red befriended there… 

But she was significant. They were allies with a shared goal, after all, and if one of them could find a way out, they could get out together! They worked in tandem to find hope, grasp at an escape. Everything they could, as a possibility. They were friends, after all. Right?

Right?

… Leaf didn’t wholly trust Red. It wasn’t personal, but there were things that were risky. She could see the instability of corruption plaguing him, and she wanted to ensure her loved ones’ safety more than she wanted to escape. The greater picture was something that she could wrap her head around, even if it was hard to grasp.

Red was not the same. Laser focused on his goal and uncaring of the consequences, it was a factor that, over time, divided them more and more as Leaf realized the severity of Red’s condition, and began to think…

Maybe he was here for a reason. … Still, she tried to turn a blind eye. Let herself hope things weren’t that bad. 

The growing obviousness for his resentment towards Fire, though Red tried to hide it, didn’t help- her distrust towards him only grew, further clouded by her personal fears and dedication to protecting her loved ones.

And one day, while discussing a possible window for escape… She let a thought she’d been hiding slip. The final nail in the coffin.

Afraid for her brother’s life, and angry seeing how Red reveled in the idea of hurting him, she left him behind and didn’t look back.

From there, we aren’t sure of the exact details of how she escaped. But we know she had help on the surface- from someone a little too curious about the nature of the Anomalous, who was all too eager to free a willing entity. Professor Ace Maple (specializing in “anomalies”, and original to the Missing Numbers story!) helped free her soul. 

Of course, releasing a long-buried corrupted entity wouldn’t go unnoticed by the higher power that had put her there. But… It saw how careful she was. How she was now completely wary of all glitches. How she’d come to understand the dangers they posed to the world and the people in it.

So, the Almighty came to her in a Golden light. Extending an offer to her.

YOU CANNOT BE PERMITTED TO EXIST IN THIS WORLD AS YOU ARE.

THERE IS A REASON YOUR KIND WERE BURIED.

THIS WORLD IS ENDANGERED EVERY TIME CORRUPTION ESCAPES.

I MUST PRESERVE THE ORDER OF THIS REALITY.

BUT YOU, HEROINE, HAVE PROVEN TO BE SPECIAL.

I AM WILLING TO MAKE A COMPROMISE FOR YOU ALONE.

YOU KNOW THINGS I CANNOT PERMIT ANYONE TO KNOW.

YOU’VE SEEN THINGS I CANNOT PERMIT ANYONE TO SEE.

I CAN ALLOW YOU TO KEEP THESE MEMORIES, AND YOUR PRESENCE HERE, ON SIMPLE TERMS.

DO NOT SPEAK OF IT TO ANOTHER SOUL…

AND PUT THIS KNOWLEDGE TO USE.

YOUR SHACKLES WILL BE YOUR WEAPON. KNOWLEDGE. POWER. 

PROTECT MY WORLD. CLEANSE THE CORRUPTION. HOLD THEM BELOW.

YOU ALONE WILL SEE EVERYTHING, FOR YOU ALONE SHALL BE THE WARDEN.

BUT DO NOT FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM.

DO NOT FORSAKE ME.

… Of course she accepted the bargain. It was all beneficial in her eyes. Her complete freedom, and the ability to protect those she loved most in ways she never could have before. What happened in their childhood would never happen again now.

Thus, Leaf was blessed with her body yet again. Rightfully hers, and aged to grow with her. Though she’d never again be a Vessel, that was okay. She was something far greater now. 

The chains could Imprison any code they touched, and they were completely under her control. With these, she could fight and restrain any anomalies necessary. She was also given the one-of-a-kind ability to freely move between the Main world, and the Distortion… To ensure that no activity occurred in either that could allow the escape of something catastrophic.

Of course, things weren’t perfect. The world and the people in it had changed since she’d been gone. It had been years. People would be different.

Blue, for one. It was hard to face him again. Tensions never stopped being high between them. They both remembered, after all.

She mostly just cared about her brother, now. It took her a bit to find him, idle at the top of Mount Silver. 

It was heartbreaking to see the emptiness in his eyes. Him barely acknowledging her. The realization that he’d never… He’d never looked for her. Never tried to free her. 

Never even mourned. 

She still loved him. She always would. He was her family. He was the only one who’d been anything like her.

It was okay that he got everything she had. It was okay that he’d completely replaced her. It was okay that he now had everything she ever wanted. It was okay that he wasn’t the one who looked for, found, freed her, instead of a complete stranger. It was okay that when he spoke it was soulless and objective and only reminding her of her duties. it was okay. it was okay. 

It was okay that he didn’t care. 

It was okay that he was living the life she should’ve wanted DESERVED that he was destined to.

It was okay that she had to protect him. It was part of her duty, after all.

She wasn’t bitter. She wasn’t mad. She loved him.

… And then there was Red- “Glitchy,” as she now called him, unwilling to give him the name that belonged to her brother. He never did give up on her. He was PISSED, mind you, that somehow she had escaped and left him and the others stuck down there behind- but he still refused to back down.

They were enemies now, though. As he grew more restless- and more powerful, much to Leaf’s horror- his imprisonment became a direct responsibility of hers. And as Professor Maple grew more curious about glitches, unknowingly bringing him closer and closer to true freedom, even though she felt indebted to them, she had to resist their studies. Warn them of everything- especially him.

“I thought you hated injustice. Don’t you think this is unfair?”

Still, she had to face him often. And even in his madness, and even in chains, Red could speak so… Persuasively. 

“If you could escape, why shouldn’t I? You have the ability to free me.”

“And I know you’re hiding me from the others. Don’t they deserve to know?”

“You knew as a KID that Blue was looking for me. Doesn’t HE deserve it?”

“I think you know this isn’t the right thing to do.”

“You’re making a mistake.”

“But it’s okay. I’m not mad. I can be patient.”

“I’m sure you’ll come around.”

“After all, you’re just like me and you know it.”

[missingrache]

10 fandoms 10 blorbos, very belatedly responding to a tag from lovely @windsweptinred:

1. Bioshock: Mark Meltzer

This man is the subject of my very first post on tumblr, he must be included here, I adore this sad fuck.

2. Homestuck: Diamonds Droog

A toss up between him and Slick. I was and am a Homestuck Intermission girlie and this must be acknowledged.

3. Dragon Age: Justice

I have many many Dragon Age faves and DAO and also Awakening is so so important to me, but Jorstin here is the fellow I have the most distinct and personal opinions about and is, aside from OCs like my Brosca Warden, Avi, the only one I have a strong rp/fic voice for. He’s such a weird and cool dude!

4. DC Comics/Animated Universe: Martian Manhunter/ J’onn J’onzz

My BOY. I love him most in the VERY specific comic pictured above (1988 miniseries that establishes the Martian gods as being flaming horrorterrors, as we see in Sandman w/L’zoril Dream, it’s GOOD SHIT)—but also in general. Criminally under rated and under represented. A sad fuck, a shape shifting horror, a stranger in a strange land, a bereaved parent, Doing His Goddamn Best. AND sometimes a noir detective send up.

Anyway, speaking of comics.

5. Sandman: Dream of the Endless

I am thrilled to be here in the year of our lord 2024 enthusing about and making friends over this scrunkly wet cat that I first encountered and dearly loved in high school. (I am more than halfway through my 30’s now, so it has been A WHILE). I’m counting Sandman and DC as separate affairs, sorry not sorry.

6. Our Flag Means Death: Izzy Hands

Loved him even before S2, fascinated, I want to put him in a jar and shake him but also keep him safe forever. I am a little soured on the show after s2, but I have dressed up as Izzy and would gladly do so again so he belongs here.

7. Supergiant Hades: Achilles

This SPECIFIC version of Achilles, who has died and continued growing through his pain and regrets and who is a surrogate parent to my BOI Zagreus, is. Fascinating. To me. I was so angry at first to find myself liking him as much as I did! It’s masterful how much characterization Supergiant implies with relatively little. He’s coming after Izzy on the list bc I came to them both in similar ways, looking at myself falling in love and going oh my god HIM? Seriously? And being like yup that war criminal there is my son now!!! (And now of course I’m fond of him all across the mythological/classical board, oh my god Hadesgame what have you done.)

8. Star Wars: Alexsandr Kallus

The only space nazi redemption arc I will accept. (Although I am watching Andor with friends right now and three double agent gingers across the begins to suggest a pattern which is very entertaining to me.)

Anyway A+ arc, love this bastard man, love his giant cat husband, single-handedly keeping me invested in Star Wars, hope his gay happy ending never gets messed with.

9. Les Miserables: Inspector Javert

Another character that I went oh my god REALLY??? That Guy??? About. But he’s so /funny/ in the Brick and Stars is lovely enough that I learned how to play barre chords on my guitar Just For That and look. Look. He is a bastard but he is MY bastard and I will read every redeemed!Javert fic that crosses my path forever the end. (Also a side note: Kallus was originally sold to me by @lokivangelist as “space Javert”)

10. The Witcher: Dandelion/Jaskier (all versions, but repping Hexer below because that’s my favorite!!!)

Throwing a curveball for the last slot! I’ve got a sad dad/monochrome aesthetic/loyal right hand/shapeshifting nonhuman/rigid worldview kinda pattern happening above, and my boi here slip slides away from almost all of those. Except for the loyalty. This man is an absolute ride or die for Geralt and I love that about him. He is also an obnoxious fuckboi but I love that too, especially in a story as heavy as the Witcher frequently can be. (My runner up for this fandom was gonna be book!Lambert, who is similarly narratively savvy and good at puncturing the heaviness of a scene without being straight up comic relief.)

There they are! Ten blorbos, I climbed that whole mountain and now I’m heading to bed. (Will tag folks tomorrow perhaps? But also feel free to invite yourself in and do this and say I tagged you if you like, because I am curious what my mutuals and etc . might choose!)

[silverjetsystm]

Cory's MK Reading Guide

TLDR A selection of pre-volume one, all of volume one, some 2006-2009, some 2014, all of Lemire/2016 and MacKay/2021.

Big shoutout to the subreddit's organization. Here's their reading list, collected editions, and their big spreadsheet of appearances.

There are currently 4 omnibuses with a 5th on the way in Spring 2024. The omnis are: part 1 and 2 of the original volume 1 (including the initial Werewolf By Night, team ups, and solos), part 1 of MS: MK, and 2006-2009.The second half of MS: MK gets its omni in Spring 2024.

Or if Epic Collections are your speed/budget, there's those. 21st century comics have their trade paperbacks/collections as well.

Read more after the cut.

Pre-Volume 1 still holds up, the important ones listed in bullets below.

Werewolf by Night #32 and #33 (first appearance of MK and Frenchie)

Marvel Spotlight #28 (first appearance of Grant, Lockley, Marlene, Gena, Crawley)

Hulk Magazine #13-15, #17-18, #20-21 (they're the backup stories, so if you search and read by Hulk, scroll halfway through the issue. Random trivia includes serial killer Rand Spector being published before Khonshu was even established)

Marvel Preview #21

MK (1980) #1-38 (volume 1) first began with Moench and Sienkiewicz. Steven Grant the writer also did a lot with character work. Zelenetz wrote The Backstory with #37-38. The run is continues what Moench set up in Marvel Spotlight and Hulk with MK, Marlene, Frenchie, Gena, the boys, and Crawley take on and explore Corruption in NYC. If you want to understand really anything, you have to start here. While there's fair amount of ableist language tossed around, the system is at their best working together.

MK: Fist of Khonshu (1985)/volume 2 is unpopular (I'm so sorry, Zelenetz. You did make it interesting!!! You took risks!!!) but #6 is great. So, read #1 to see what's going on and #6. There's a lot of hokey stuff and an added supernatural element with Priests of Khonshu.

Marvel Fanfare (1982) #30 aka "Real to Reel" is one of my favorite issues of MK ever. Marlene, Steven, and Marc/MK discuss important issues (with minimal clothing) while the plot discusses man's impact on nature.

West Coast Avengers is slid here. Time Travel Shenanigans, the actual establishment of Khonshu beyond "that statue," and kissing Tigra. :) Sadly, MK was only around for a little while (#21-41) in the grand scheme of things and his tenure is cut between 3 different Epic Collections.

MS: MK (it technically isn't volume 3) is 60 issues and it gets borderline unreadable about halfway through. Seriously, they didn't reprint it until very recently. That being said, the first half has some great stuff. So honestly, read a few stories from it, get tired, and know he dies at the end. I recommend "Trial of Marc Spector" (#15-18) and "Scarlet Redemption" (#26-31). Then read Resurrection Wars (volume 3) and High Strangers (volume 4) - both are 4 issue minis by Moench in 1998-1999 because they killed his boy.

MK (2006/volume 5) is 30 grimdark issues. The first 13 issues are usually all I can stomach. Marc gets injured, kills Bushman in an extremely violent way, and has substance use issues. He also is extremely violent, lashes out/pushes away his original cast. While the run shot MK into being Memorable and Relevant in this new century, the hit to his rep and mental health was A Lot.

Vengeance of the MK (2009/volume 1 of VOTMK): The most Marc acting Jake in existence, coming back from a stint in Mexico at the end of MK 2006. Some retcons. It's lighter compared to the shit you just read. Read it for Tiny Khonshu.

Secret Avengers (2010) #19 is one of the only issues with decent MK. The rest is ableist or he's not really there.

Shadowland: MK does some retcons I like but also Randall comes back and does violence against women (Marlene) for manpain so it also sucks. It's 3 issues that tie in to the Shadowland event so.

MK (2011/volume 6) by Bendis. Don't read it. MK is in LA for Reasons. Steven and Jake are replaced by Cap, Wolvie, and Spidey and it's leading up to an Ultron event.

MK (2014/volume 7): Marc's back from LA. Introduces Mr. Knight. The strongest parts are where the story is wrapped up in one issue. #5, where Mr. Knight takes on an entire building to rescue a kidnapped girl, is the best. It's also kinda out of print because of Ellis' misconduct.

MK (2016/volume 8): Lemire and Smallwood. The dream team with additional supporting artists. It makes the most sense if you read volume 1 because there's a lot of references. But it's enjoyable and self-contained 14 issues. Get the Lemire and Smallwood Complete Collection

MK (2017/volume 1 because legacy numbers): The Powers That Be add 2017 to Lemire's run. It's not. Completely different creative team. Stop reading 2016 when issue #188 appears. It's shit. It's ableist, it's antisemetic. Friends don't let friends read Bemis.

Avengers (2018) #31-38. Age of Khonshu only is relevant for what Marc does now and his mental state. It's uh. Bad.

MK (2021/volume 9) wrapped in December 2023 at 30 freaking issues! Written by MacKay, illustrated by Cappuccio and Sabbatini with Rosenberg on colors. It's gorgeous. It's got everything. Vampire pyramid schemes, recovery not being linear, callbacks from essentially everything before.

MK: City of the Dead introduces Layla into 616. It's a pulp. The plot is fun. I don't care for the art nor for Pepose's writing. It's 5 issues.

Vengeance of the MK (2024/volume 2 of VOTMK) literally just started this month (January).

[squidthechaotickid]

saw a bunch of people doing an oc prompt thingy for @sonic-oc-showdown and thought it would be fun :)

Name: Pip the Jackal

Species: Jackal

Type: Speed

Alignment: technically evil

🏡 - Home:

imagine having a home lmao (She travels around wherever a mission is)

✨ - How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Pip - Pipsqueak. She's tiny.

🌼 - How old are they? (Or approximate age range)

15!!

🌺- Do they have any love interest(s)?

Nope!! Definitely had crushes before, but since the Jackal Squad moved around so much she never got to act on any of them.

🍕 - What is their favorite food?

I don't think she got to eat out all that often, so pretty much anything fast food. She got a McDonald's quarter pounder with extra pickles hold the onion once and has dreamt of eating it every day since (her standards are low)

💼 - What do they do for a living?

Steal lmao

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

Mostly artistic ones,, like drawing, painting, sewing, etc, but they'll try anything if it looks cool enough and she can get the materials!!

🎯 -What do they do best?

She's has particularly good hearing!!

🥊 -What do they love to do? What do they hate to do?

Love - Hanging out with her Squad, annoying her Squad, doing silly little hobbies, being on missions

Hate - Being annoyed by her Squad, being put on lookout alone

❤️ - What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Her first "real" birthday, I'd think. The squad found out about her birthday soon after they found her and had something close to a regular party when it came around. It was the turning point when she really started opening up to them and became the excitable bubbly person she is (was?) Today :]]]

✂️ - What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Anything from when she was alone. There was a period between her leaving her birth parents and finding the others where she was left to fend for herself -- she still gets nightmares.

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

Nope!! She had a different color scheme and an altered back story before

🍀 - What originally inspired the OC?

I saw those two shadowy jacakls in the background of the pre comic and went insane from there

🌂 - What genre do they belong in?

I!! Really don't know what this is asking. Um. Adventure?

💚  -What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

Demigirl and lesbian but um. She was halfway through figuring out the gender bit when she died abdbsbfbdhdh

🙌  - How many siblings does your OC have?

She considers the whole jackal squad her siblings so 5 :]

🍎  - What is the OC’s relationship w/their parents like?

TERRIBLE. They were not very nice :((

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

Her personality! She's so nice and bubbly with absolutely NO repressed trauma none at all haha

✏️ - How often do you draw/write about the OC?

Like half the drawings I made for her were done this week

💎 - Do you ever see yourself killing off the OC?

Ofc not!! Why would I ever kill her?? That would be so terrible ahaha

💀 - Does your OC have any phobias?

Terrified of being left alone for long periods of time.

🎓 - How long have you had the OC?

Since at least late September last year,, only a couple of months :]]]

[zoroara]

So I decided it was about time I made a complete bio and timeline of Vittorio into a post, and of course this included drawing refs for all of their outfits/weapons/and box weapons. Their TYL design is positioned first because of them first appearing in that arc. Here’s some basic information before we get into the timeline:

Name: Vittorio Ardizzone Residence: Italy Age: 27 Birthday: January 18th Gender: Demiboy he/they Height: 190cm/6′3 Weight: 92kg/205lbs Blood type: AB+ Aligned with: Avvoltoi di Scarto / Varia Flame: Flame of Stagnation(Rain+Sky hybrid details here)

Now for the timeline that’ll be under read more cause boy there’s a lot:

Okay, when I made them I wanted them to affect the least amount of the plot we actually have. So what I did was slightly change what the hold up for the Varia was in italy. Which is originally them having to continue to hold down the base they had taken from Millefiore members. Also I’ll go over Weapon abilities at the very end. Other Ocs will be referenced here, there’s a short overview that can be found (here)

Here however, Vittorio, the leader of a group(Avvoltoi di Scarto or the Scrap Vultures) who attacks people already in combat in order to steal weapons, equipment and supplies from them to either use for their own group, sell them or for Vittorio specifically to use to make new weapons all together. With Vittorio picking off both sides only doing so confidently due to the chaos knowing the Millefiore and Varia are weak enough from the fight to essentially get away scott free. They get what they want and abandon the fight halfway through getting their men out with minimal losses.

In the present(second image is present design) while the Avvoltoi di Scarto are not well known, currently too afraid to do operations against such big mafia groups, this encounter sticks in the Varia’s minds. After healing from the Representative battles, they seek Vittorio out. For several reasons, one mainly being a grudge, the potential of getting them to engineer something for them, but also the threat Vittorio poses if left alone. It should also be noted, Vittorio has no knowledge of the future as they were not considered important to how the future turned out. But course, they aren’t going to just talk it out, and a fight ensues, the threat they find that Vittorio held is still very much the same almost taking them down before being captured instead. (I have drawn a comic of this)

Upon being captured Vittorio is forced to work for the Varia, under their watch they are tasked to design and create combat gear for them.(x) Vittorio does so, making them durable and protective against both flames and physical weapons more so than the regular varia uniforms are(Designs found here). While he is working on the Varia uniforms, Vittorio makes an offer, that if they can get them readings and information on how the actual vongola rings work, he can attempt to upgrade their Varia rings and Box weapons. (His attempt at bargaining)

Squalo is sent out to give these readings and while he is Vittorio works on his own version of the combat uniform that he made for the Varia in secret(it looks like the blue and orange combat uniform minus colour, and instead pure black), at this point gaining enough trust to not be constantly under watch. When Squalo comes back he does as he promised though not without great difficulty struggling for a while to upgrade Talbot’s work. However eventually he succeeds giving the varia improved cambio formas that can keep the box weapon out in addition albeit in a weakened state.(I have designs and abilities for these but I’ve not fully coloured them. When I have this will be edited.)

Of course, as he worked and figured out how to upgrade the ring, he made his own copy, and made the vulture box weapon, Avo. (Whose Cambio forma is the orange combat suit). But once Vittorio finished he struck a deal with Xanxus, who begrudgingly agreed to let him go free, for the ability to call on them(and vice versa), and for the ability to ask them for upgrades, to fix equipment, or build something for the Varia.

Vittorio then disappeared without a trace leaving Xanxus as the only person who knew how to contact him despite getting along with the other Varia members. (perhaps a little too well in some cases.) At least he did until one night he sent an emergency alert to Xanxus who only had time to grab Lussuria.

They then found Vittorio in the midst of being attacked by a mercenary known as Kira. She is a Flame of Deceit user and has made real monstrosities that have to be fought. It’s a struggle but once Lussuria heals Vittorio up through team work the Trio take her down. Only to find it was a fake and she is still out there. For his safety Xanxus forces Vittorio to return with them, and Vittorio promptly shuts down. (Also art of these events 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13)

You see, Vittorio has no ability to handle any form of care, especially care that is forced upon them. Growing up in a house that they could not leave for the fact the world was “too dangerous”, he eventually had no choice but to run away if they ever wanted to see anything outside of what they could see from a window. Left scarred from the first attempt, only escaping because their flame awakened, they soon went back home, the only place that he could think of for safety. Only to be met with even more of their freedom taken, with that and their second attempt, only cemented further a twisted idea that if anyone ever cared for them their freedom would be stripped away. (little bits of their past + how they got the idea to form the scrap vultures 1 - 2 - 3 - 4)

However, after two days, Squalo aggressively comes into his room and says that he needs to leave if he’s just going to completely shut down. Vittorio is given his freedom back, provided he at least eats something first cause it was two days. Though he does dip out for a few hours to clear his head, realizing they were right and it is too dangerous to stay alone and goes back. In order to help fight his anxiousness about it he asks to temporarily join the Varia so that he can at least tell himself it’s just for work.(9th picture is his uniform for present day Varia). During this he does admit that the reason he was alone when Kira attacked was because he ended up dismantling the Avvoltoi di Scarto after a recent betrayal as a last straw. Leaving himself as the one and only Scrap Vulture.

From there he works as a trainee, as despite his strength and usefulness.... Vittorio doesn’t meet the requirements of the varia in one aspect. He only know Italian and cannot be a full Varia member in any capacity until he learns. So while they’re trying to track down Kira for their proper fight Vittorio is also trying to learn enough languages to count as a member in some form. It takes several years for them to track down Kira, and in that time they grow comfortable being in the Varia. and in their good relation, the Varia give Vittorio an Axolotl Box weapon which they then name Alba. Which they then make the blue combat gear cambio forma with. Now Vittorio has both box weapons he had in the future, even if they don’t know it.

Upon tracking down Kira, the Varia and Vittorio attack her head on, but of course this being her domain, she is able to easily gain the upper hand practically warping reality to her will. Only Vittorio, Xanxus, Belphegor and Squalo can put up a fight against her flame with easier ability to neutralize it but, unfortunately due to her power they end up overwhelmed. on the brink of defeat and about to die. The horrific living ghost tale that is Presagio appears, making a deal with Vittorio, who is healed and powered up to kill Kira. Only to be stolen away by it as part of the deal.

While Vittorio is trapped with Presagio they find it is a person, an incredibly powerful one but a person nonetheless. They have no choice but to toil away as whatever Presagio needs them to be until after a couple more years, eventually the Varia come to rescue them. Explaining that the reason they made no plans to escape was because Presagio would simply re-capture them there’s a quick plan made. Soon Presagio enters the room that had been broken into, and is challenged to a game. The Varia also offering themselves if it wins, but that they get Vittorio back if it loses.

The game they play is 3 nights, capture the flag. The flag being Vittorio who is tied up in the same building but you can knock out other players(non-lethally only, more to the Varia’s benefit than presagio’s) and if you do so they can't act in the next rounds.

Round one: Team of Levi Mammon and Squalo take vittorio as objective. Xanxus tries to take down Presagio alone. Lussuria and Belphegor act as back up but arrive after Xanxus has already been taken down and get sweeped. However Squalo's team captures the flag before further damage can be done.

Round two: Now with the strongest player out of the way, Presagio focuses the objective, with their swift movements and sturdiness they can't be budged from it. making an easy win for them.

Right after round two: Mammon decides to use Presagio's greed against them, and offers that if it can awaken their full power as it did with Vittorio, they will have a better asset if they can succeed in beating the Varia. Presagio agrees on the one condition that if they do this, and Vittorio cannot create Gear more suited for Mammon's new form in time for the next match. Only Squalo and Levi will be participating. knowing this is their only shot the Varia agrees.

Round three: Fully powered up and newly equipped Mammon aids the remaining two members after them. Though Mammon cannot take down Presagio due to their strength they simply need to cause problems with their illusions and while Presagio is good at seeing through illusions, a fully powered up Mammon is too much. Presagio stays distracted too long, as Squalo and Levi capture the objective and thus they finally get to bring Vittorio home.

After some time to recover both physically and mentally from all that happened. Vittorio asks to permanently join the Varia. Later on getting a tattoo on their back that though they had in the future with wings and the scrap vulture emblem, has the varia emblem added to it as well. They continue their work for the Varia, eventually asking to make a division similar to the Avvoltoi di Scarto, but loaned varia members so that they can easier get the materials they need. They are given a small group to command and continue well into the future.

The first thing they make once they form this group is the Cambio Fusione, the first of it’s kind using both Avo and Alba’s cambio formas to create something that’s an extremely powerful combination of the two previous weapons. However it has heavy physical drawbacks on the user so it is only ever used when Vittorio is desperate to protect someone, but also knows after they can be trusted to take care of him. The trust required originally, they never would have dreamed of.

Now that I have explained their whole story, it’s time for the weapons!

Gun Blade: The gun blade is pretty simple in concept but has a lot of moving pieces. First the blades on both sides of the gun with a press of a button near the trigger of the weapon will be unleashed from a lock mechanism and shoot forward from their position. The only downside is they do have to be physically reset but it doesn’t take much, even quickly slamming the weapon onto the ground will get the locks back in place for it’s next use. Next is the extra part of the handle that the end that can be adjusted so Vittorio can hold the weapon like a bat or like a proper gun. Due to the weight of the weapon it takes a lot of strength to use. Finally the gun part, fun fact, Vittorio has stolen many documents and recordings from mafia groups, they actually learned how to make a gun like this by using Xanxus’ as inspiration. much like Xanxus’ gun it can fire fairly fast but is more often used in charged blasts.

Pioggia Avvoltoio di Cieli, Avo: Avo is a large box weapon, based on the Cinereous Vulture however is a bit larger to allow Avo to pick up Vittorio. Vittorio only uses Avo to handle crowds, as it’s flames are weak in their effects but the Vulture itself is incredibly powerful. However prolonged exposure to it’s flames however weak will eventually cause sluggishness. In the alternate future, Avo was a stolen Sky box he modified to suit his flame.

Cambio Forma, Pistole del Mietitore(Gun of the Reaper): Avo’s Cambio forma much like the box weapon, is focused on power. Vittorio carries a Shotgun and pistol, one for long range and the other for up close. While both can be switched between a normal charge shot, they both have different option settings. The pistol can be switched to a seeking shot which while much weaker will follow the enemy, while the Shotgun can be switched to an explosive spread shot that will petrify anything caught in it. Though they both have blades on them, they’re static unlike the gun blade’s, and are typically only used when someone gets too close and vittorio needs them to back off quickly. This is typically used when there’s plenty of room for the opponent and Vittorio to run.

Pioggia Axolotl di Cieli, Alba:  A small box weapon based on an axolotl, that isn’t very strong physically but makes up in it’s strength of flame.  Alba is typically used in stealth, the small axolotl is hard to feel as it quickly numbs your body. by the time it’s noticed the target is too sluggish and will soon be picked off by vittorio. Thankfully for them Vittorio prefers non-lethal. In the alternate future, Alba was a stolen Rain box he modified to suit his flame.

Cambio Forma, Spada dello Scorticatore(Sword of the flayer): These are two Identical swords with a hook at the end of them. The holes on either side of them will emit a fog version of the flame as long as vittorio squeezes the black triggers on the hilt. This fog will fill the air and slowly overwhelm anyone who enters it. The fog lingers for a long time so Vittorio does not have to constantly refresh it unless they are forced to move out of their area. Vittorio prefers to use this weapon in close combat situations.

Cambio Fusione, Arma dello Scavenger(Weapon of the Scavenger): The final combination of the two previous forms. Through appearing to mainly be the sword, hidden inside of the weapon is a gun which triggers are what used to be for only the sword’s fog. Additionally, only the first 3 sections of the weapon can cut and slice. The fourth is entirely a bludgeoning weapon and is completely flat aside from the hook. Both swords are only colour coded so that Vittorio can keep track of what setting he has them on in case they switch hands. As before, the guns can be switched between a charged shot, a seeking shot, and a the explosive shot. However the blade can also be set to only produce the fog.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

[zaptap]

i just reached 1990s spider-man comics. almost halfway there in terms of years, definitely not in terms of comics though (i guess there were a TON in the 90s, and the 60s was pretty much just amazing spider-man which meant it had the fewest)

i'd heard before starting the 80s ones that that was widely considered the best decade for spider-man comics, and it certainly lived up to it. roger stern's run was really good, hobgoblin was a pretty interesting villain up until they screwed up at the end after 4 years because the people making the comics all had different opinions on who should be under the mask and were even sabotaging each other (instead of just using the guy who was originally supposed to be him. which i guess got fixed via retcon in the late 90s)

secret wars was pretty good (only because the heroes and villains involved largely weren't that interested in playing the beyonder's game, and dr doom derailing the whole thing made it interesting)

and secret wars ii asked the question of "hey wouldn't it be fucked up if there was a guy who had unlimited power to do anything and he just wanted to try to figure out what his place was in a universe he could fundamentally change with a whim" and yeah it was fucked up. and that's what made this one interesting

also we finally have people who know spider-man is peter parker and don't either die or lose their memory soon afterward, which was the case for like 20 years. mary jane comes back after being completely absent from the comics for a couple years or so, and reveals she'd known peter was spider man "for years" (later revealed to be since the night uncle ben died, which was long before they'd even met) and then peter has someone to talk to about spider stuff

anyway. 90s had a lot going on. i guess there's more symbiote stuff (venom was introduced in 1988, carnage should probably be on his way soon), and then there's infinity gauntlet/war/crusade which if anything should be better than what the mcu did with them

and then there's the infamous clone saga which apparently lasted about 2 years, and with 4 ongoing monthly series ("spider-man" starts in 1990) that'd mean about 100 comics? yeah no wonder people got tired of that. i'll see how it goes though

also i'm reading about other spider-people too (keeping an eye on appearances of jessica drew and julia carpenter, the two spider-women so far, as well as reading spider-ham on the side--a few more 5-page stories and he's gone until like 2010) so i'll be starting 2099 after i get into 1992

tbh even if the 90s and newer comics arent as good, the fact that i'll be reading stuff from within my lifetime should probably do something for my enjoyment of them. like yeah the 80s ones were great but it still had that "this was before my time" quality to it you know