#or. on phone. which is harder to use
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https://www.tumblr.com/talos-stims/751770478881964032/chewynecklace-stephsroughpatch?source=share
this has the bugs tag misspelled!
AH thank you! fixed now
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Definitely don't knock your device's accessibility options. I was looking through my phone's accessibility settings last night, and wow, it feels like technology has really advanced since I first got a smartphone.
I've even found a setting that raises certain sounds I apparently have trouble hearing, and it feels like I'm experiencing the music I love with a completely different perspective. It's honestly wild because my first smartphone had like... mono audio, and that was as close as you could get to accessibility
#disability#disability advice#like i'm not HoH as far as i know but i do have some differences with hearing#honestly my biggest issue is. i can barely differentiate where sound is coming from. i usually guess when i can't see a sound's origin lmao#which i don't think disables me but it is harder when i'm driving i've found#there have been a few times where i HEAR an ambulance but i have no clue where it's coming from. like none.#and like... you don't even have to be disabled to use those features on *your* device...#...it's just that for many disabled people they will be heavily invested in making their things accessible#so while i'm not unable to use my phone if that hearing booster wasn't in use it still enhances my experience 👍#also live transcription???? that would NEVER have been an option with my first phone#i feel OLD (ish)
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23 is young and i don't wanna go acting like it isn't but sometimes i see stuff from baby zoomers and i feel fucking ancient. skibidi toilet? i have yet to understand what that's referencing. reality shifting? i was into new agey stuff as a teen and i get the whole law of attraction/manifestation thing, but the rest is all greek to me. a good half of the aesthetics i see talked about online? literally got overwhelmed when i stumbled on the aesthetics wiki last year and i feel like an idiot seeing all these kids list off like 4 different hyperspecific aesthetics to describe themselves 😭 girl what does any of that mean? patiently explain it like i'm 85 when it comes up, or don't expect me to know what the hell you're talking about. i'll just end up smiling and nodding like your out of touch grandpa who loves your energy but is frightened by cellphones and the concept of smartfridges 💀💀💀
#i genuinely am not dunking on any of this stuff (i have no idea what any of it is in detail lmao) and i think it's lame#as hell to dunk on young ppl stuff just bc it's enjoyed by young ppl. regardless i have no idea what's going on with the youth sometimes#and i don't think that's ever gonna change. i don't rlly care to devote a lot of time to stay Cool and Hip bc i'm NOT steve buscemi and i'm#okay with being viewed as uncool but it still surprises me the extent to which this is already happening to me and i'm not even 25#back in MY day we had gangnam style & vine compliations & i was only mosscore with a hint of dark academia and that's how we LIKED it! /s#i honestly feel more in touch with millenials then i do anyone too young to remember the great recession or life before the omnipresence of#the internet. that's surely due in part to us being legal adults but also bc i think anyone who HASN'T experienced a childhood without#smartphone access or one free of years of economic struggle has a much different life experience than i do. i didn't get a phone til 12 and#i didn't get a smartphone til 14/15ish. i never complain abt gas prices like my parents do bc i grew up when it was $3-$5. i can't eat#canned peaches bc they remind me of '07-'11. this isnt to say i had it harder - i wasn't a kid during covid - but its slightly harder to#relate to#len speaks
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I’ve been spending less and less time on this stupid ass website recently and honestly….. good
#idk I just don’t find it as? enjoyable as I once did?#which is sad in a way cuz I’ve used tumblr YEARS now and I DO enjoy the way the platform functions#and I for the most part enjoy the space I’ve created#but idk#it’s getting harder and harder to find ppl I actually want to follow and interact with#not many ppl post about my interests in a way I like#and while I once had a pretty active and good chunk of ppl I followed#more and more of them are starting to be inactive#on top of that I’ve been fighting the urge to just drop off of social media entirely recently anyways#like idk….. something about it all of a sudden has started to feel very draining and not fun#not that I have a lot of social media accounts to begin with…..#but I have been seriously debating just deleting most of them#I think part of it is not wanting old ppl in my life having a method of contacting me haha#but also it’s not like I use or enjoy them that much anyways#idk I have some mutuals on here I still enjoy interacting and seeing their posts and such obviously#but idk…. just not been feeling it lately#which in a lot of ways is a good thing! the amount of time I spend on my phone has dropped A LOT#I mostly just use it on breaks at work now and for a little bit before bed#other than? I’ve been actually engaging in hobbies and not mindlessly scrolling#mostly gaming writing and cooking and idk it’s been nice#I doubt I’d ever actually delete this blog#I’ll be here until this website goes down#I am starting to feel like my activity might be slowing down a lot from what it once was tho#kaz rambles
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Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)
#twitter and other short form shit and everything being a Phone App On Small Screen instead of a Proper#Computer Website i feel like has just ruined the format of literally everything for me. Thoughts just keep getting more and more condensed#with detail and nuance taken away. everything over simplified into only the basics. blah blah blah. I've already probably rambled about thi#all before but it's just SO frustrating. I literally just CAN NOT talk that way!!! even if I try!!! I took multiple advanced placement#english & language arts classes in school and I literally never made below an A on any assignment EVER except for ESSAYS#where I would legit get almost failing grades just because I cannt express myself concisely. I took an english placement test thats made to#like evaluate your competency in a subject and out of the 102 multiple choice questions I only missed TWO of them. almost a perfect#score. But for the 5 open response questions (about articulating thoughts succinctly) I did not get a single one of them lol#I only got partial credit on 3. It's like I OBVIOUSLY understand the material and I know how Words Work and how to analyze and interpret#meaning and etc. etc. But it's just when I have to express myself CLEANLY I can't. It's always ''well you have very good points and you#get around to the idea eventually and I think it's very insightful - but it just needs to be shorter/the side tangent needs to be removed/#etc.'' I've always wondered if it has something to do with being on the schizophrenia spectrum and how that can cause disorganized#speech sometimes hmm..ANYWAY.. But I just naturally express myself in a very particular way which is lengthy and I can't rea#ly seem to control it. So it's basically like just.. being gradually pushed out of every place that won't accomodate people with different#ways of like perceiving and expressing or etc. Everything cannot ALWAYS be 100% 'Short and Snappy and To The Point' or a quippy one#liner or the Bare Minimum of information being provided or etc. Some peoples brains just do not work like that!!!!! Sorry I operate#in detail and elaboration lol. ANYWAY.. I still sometimes use random ''dating sites'' like OKCupid to look for platonic friends since#I never leave the house so it's hard for me to just meet friends naturally. And I just realized today that they added a RIDICULOUSLY small#character limit to their messaging system (2000 words?? augh). And also took away answer explanations (when you answer a compatibility#question you used to have a space to give detail and explain why you answered the way you did) and removed a few other features and it's ju#t like.. how the fuck is any of this actually helpful in terms of judging compatibility? take away ALL nuance and anyting that actually#is meant to tell you anything about a person? Bumble's character limits for your profile description are even more fucking insane and so#is every other disgustingly minimalistic place I've seen like.. OKC used to be superior BECAUSE it allowed for a TON of detail. like back i#2016 or something there was SO much data you could look at. long form question answers. personality trait summaries. etc. Now you have#SOO little to judge off of when evaluating compatibiility it's like. You'd have better luck just throwing a dart in a crowded street and#talking to whoever it hits. Why are people so fucking allergic to reading anything longer than 3 words and providing DETAILS!! It just seem#harder and harder to find any place to meet platonic friends where you have any amount of actual data to go off of and it isnt basically#just random 'speed dating' set up shit. AARGH. &I know 'oh just join a club& meet ppl irl' 1. erm..covid. 2.I mostly want to meet ppl#in places I'd like to move so I already know ppl when I get there. You kind of HAVE to do that online. bc I am not there yet.. WISHING for#Complexity.Com where ppl can upload full 900 page psychological files of themselves. MINIMUM profile character limit 30k words lol
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pont pont vesszőcske
#this year just feels weird. im selfishly not saying ~rawr so awful or tragic#because there are things ive achieved this year that im proud of and that were long due#im so happy i did that masters course and im so glad i landed a job that pays well even though its torture on my nerveous system#my mind is forever free from academic guilt and pressure#and i can afford things that nourish my soul and body when they werent accessible before#so this is the firm acknowledgment of the fact that im lucky and have an objectively good life#part of which i was given and nice parts i actually worked my ass off for#and for the first time in my life im at a stage where its all … freestyle?? lmao like ok girl you did the things now find new things to do#and theres none hehehe just human connections that are harder to build than a cv or a thesis defense and doesnt only depend#on the effort i put in#but also on how the stars and planets are moving or idk#plus i just remembered how my sister told me that the reason why i kept procrastinating on my diploma was bc it was an excuse to not grow u#and now the universe is kicking my ass all year to make me realize that i need to change and grow and build a life i could settle in#because this bitch!!!! took 3 of my 4 closest friends and made them move countries and get married or in one case just simply get over me#and not to make everything about me but its how humans work okay so ofc im internalizing a lot of other tragedies as new signs#from the universe screaming at me#to get away from the parasocial bonds that give me so much joy but also affect me too much#like LAUGH AT ME all you want but ive been wanting to see ts live since 2009#and the only thing that kept me up in exam season at 4am was me and my friend sending outfit inspos to each other#like its silly i know but when that show got cancelled and i was hysterical i kneew the lesson was to grow up and stop investing so much#into lovely but also relatively short moments of my life#because i should be able to#look forward to other things after graduating than the eras tour but i WASNT okay#and i dont have to elaborate on how liam’s passing has been affecting me/us so i wont#but fuck that was a cruel reminder - to make things about me again- that though i can talk about this with friends on my phone#until my retina burns out or melts or idk what retinas do#i still dont have ANYONE in my phsyical proximity who would understand this pain and thats partially on me#and then my 85+yr old grandma got covid AGAIN for the 3rd time and my god she got better but in case i forgot she wont be with me forever#and i reached the tag limit so thats it anyway weird year very weird dont know what it wants from me#to the void
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I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.
#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you#we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends#dora daily#I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the#whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go#through all that trouble#‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope#I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need#I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world#not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye#idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this#and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder#like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me#I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me#and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay#the same girl who tells me to move out btw#my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers#and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that#it’s honestly ironic#like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee#and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential#it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful#she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12#‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right
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changed my wallpaper for the first time in years #growth
#it used to be sayu from nsr and i had it so long because i just loooooved the colors so much#and also i spent a shit ton of time making custom app icons and everything#which slowly degraded over time cuz i stopped making new ones and i'd get rid of and replace apps#so eventually it was just a wallpaper again#and now its daisuke mouthwashing. ROLLS EYES#im not even enthusiastic about how much i like him because of COURSE i like him#hes like deliberately intentionally manufactured to be adored. they knew what they were doing when he made him. They knew.#im so serious its like a sewn in part of the story to like daisuke. to make the drama and horror resonate harder#THERE IS A WORD IM LOOKING FOR. DELIBERATE? he is manufactured fandom bait and i fell for it like a mouse to peanut butter#which im disappointed in myself for (not actually) but alas. he is a little cutie pie. and i will draw him as i please#and i will slap his face on my wallpaper and i will forget that i did it and i will check my phone#and he will be there like :D and im like omg daisuke haiiiiiiii
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sorry to always be complaining but it's just so. meh. feeling when i want to be writing or gposing but nothing is sparking enough interest for me to actually do it
#affair au is still lingering in my brain but i do not have the discipline to make myself write alkdjfsdj#well it will come back. 2 of the last 3 fics i wrote were stuff i started months and months before and then randomly was overcome#with the urge to finish alkjsdfsd#i need a text post tag#also. agh. if i could just write island fic akl;hsdfjas#btw i have mostly been on my browser on my phone which i use specifically bc it makes it harder for me to reblog#and thus harder to be on here. but i will try to catch up with ppl's stuff today <3
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got a cpap prescription finally but i feel like it's about to make my bedtime routine a) strict and b) somewhat alien
#sleep saga#i have an appointment in a couple weeks to i think just talk about the type of mask i'll use but also hopefully pick one up to try#the equipment provider sent me a survey and i took it twice and both times it recommended the more heavy-duty style#that covers your nose AND mouth#which like#i'm not claustrophobic or anything but could we please start with just the nose one so it'll be easier to get used to?#esp bc my regular mode of falling asleep is to read my phone or a book or play a game until i drift off#which i think will be harder if i go from 0 to device strapped to half my face#especially since those ones typically obstruct your vision in some way#well. either way at least i'll finally get uninterrupted and fully-oxygenated sleep#tell you what it sucks to sleep for 9 hours and still be fucking tired all day
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Spent this last week tired and in pain and I want to draw about it, but unfortunately aforementioned condition of being tired and in pain makes drawing impossible, so I guess I just have to suffer instead. Why this.
#i mean i know why this it's the hypermobility#but this is a new record for number of joints that hurt at once#hands and in particular thumbs; elbows; shoulders; and feet if i spend too long standing up#i can't currently use my thumbs because the thumb braces are the only thing stopping the pain getting worse#and that means no drawing because i can't hold a pencil#no piano or video games either which are other go-to distractions#i can't hold my phone properly#and i can only type in short bursts with fingers and no thumbs#i hate not being able to use my hands properly#the whole hypermobility thing has been causing me more and more problems lately and it sucks#i really need to get back to the doctor about it#but i'm so damn busy with work this month that i haven't had the time#and being so busy is just making things worse#driving is getting harder and i'm really worried that's going to become a problem#at least the thumb braces help with the pain#and physically prevent me from doing the things that'll make it worse#even if those things include. basically all of my hobbies#fuck this honestly#starting to come to terms with the fact that i am. a bit more physically disabled that previously assumed#happy disability pride month to me i guess :/#personal stuff
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it’s so impressive (derogatory) how capitalism can allow for near-endless iterations of the same product and they all fucking suck
#freedom of choice who? what good is 500 variations on the same shitty deal#(facing the bitter fact that my phone is almost impossible to charge and becoming harder to use every day)#(posting this from my 2013 tablet which also wants to die#but I can’t stand new technology every option is bad! 💀
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What is the use of gloves if they don't warm your hands?
#i have cold hands in general#theyre always freezing#bad circulation or smt idk#today its like -1 deg outside and i decide to wear gloves instead of get frostbite#im 50% sure these gloves are doing nothing but make it harder to use my phone#50 cuz they might be doing something afterall idk#but i still feel like im gonna get frostbite#so i need help#do gloves work?#if so which ones?
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every day i wake up and my mother accuses me of more insane things. i have got to move out
#yesterday she interrogated me about whether or not i went through the mail which uh. what. sorry what#this morning i was apparently ‘lurking’ in the basement in what used to be my stepbrother’s room#he doesn’t even fucking live here anymore#the lurking in question was standing at the bottom of the basement stairs on my phone because i had just checked on my laundry in the#laundry room. which is coincidentally also in the basement!#she never believes anything i tell her it drives me insane#she was mad at me for like 3 months because she thought i was using her hair oil. i wasn’t and i denied this. but obviously i’m just an evil#lying bitch sent here to make her life harder and i’m a devil from hell. duh#cammie.txt
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Although this is true. I don't view rocks as inferior to mountains. The whole "it it's are for objects, objects are inferior so by using them your saying your an object which therefore means your saying your inferior to me" is something I find stupid, being posic and objectkin, I don't see objects as inferior to humans, and actually i am one, but even then, without objects our lives would be so much less comfortable and exciting, so why would using the pronouns of the very things that we owe our comfort and alot of our fun to, be something that belittles me?
i love this tweet so much i think about it weekly, i structure my life around it its so crazy how much one tweet changed the way i view neopronouns for the better
#People do need to see that it's it's pronouns are used for so much more than objects#But#Why are objects seen as less?#Their everything in our society#Look around and you'll see them#Your using one to see this post right now!#Objects are the reason you had a comfortable sleep last night#Unless you didn't which then I am very sorry and hope tonight is better!#It would be harder to connect to your communities without an object like a phone or a computer to connect to the Internet#And with a pencil you can draw and write t#And drawing and writing are very important things to many people#And yes#A pencil is small#But if things are treated by their physical form always#Then most things would mean nothing#Humans are always saying#Not to judge by appearance#And alot still do#But alot of the ones who don't think that this only applies to humans#it/its#It/it's pronouns#it its pronouns#Posic#Objectkin#Reply#not aimed
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the universe just keeps encouraging my procrastination, and i'm here for it but probably i shouldn't be.
#there was a deadline to submit reiumbursments for a scholarship my son had on july 31#and then on july 31 i went to do a years worth of stuff and they said you have till august 7!#but then august 7 we were doing something for his bday and i'm like it's fine i'll get this done#and they said jk you have till august 11#SO FOR THE PAST 11 HOURS I HAVE BEEN AT MY COMPUTER#downloading reciepts and bank statements and highlighting shit#which is even harder because the keyboard on my computer stopped working and the touch screen doesn't work in several places and i have to#keep rotating it to click things#and it's 6 PM and it's all due at 11:59 and i can't get into the damn website to submit anything#because my phone has been broken for months#and it just finally TODAY to spite me decided it wouldn't turn on at all#like it used to at lest turn on for a few minutes before shutting off or it'd turn on and have a werid green film over it#but no today it won't turn on and i'm like oh#this is like when the printer senses you waited till the last minute huh#and I was manifesting that my phone would turn on just long enough to get the security code to login#AND WE GOT AN EMAIL EXTENDING THE DEADLING TILL THE 16TH SO#not exactly what i manifested but thank you#i wish I could find the motivation to do things before they're due#but honestly if the universe won't punish me for it then who am I to stop
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