#also live transcription???? that would NEVER have been an option with my first phone

[uncanny-tranny]

Definitely don't knock your device's accessibility options. I was looking through my phone's accessibility settings last night, and wow, it feels like technology has really advanced since I first got a smartphone.

I've even found a setting that raises certain sounds I apparently have trouble hearing, and it feels like I'm experiencing the music I love with a completely different perspective. It's honestly wild because my first smartphone had like... mono audio, and that was as close as you could get to accessibility

[dr-aphelion-flight]

Chapter 1 | Captain's Log

This chapter's log has been written by Emily from the perspective of her character, Meredith Elise Mitchell. Due to her thorough notetaking throughout the game, the entries are taken directly from her in-game journal.

The planet we are currently stationed at is Nauliac, a planet entirely filled with water. People live on large ships. We are on a ship called Tsavaye. 

Tsavaye has gravitational pull that prevents us from swimming away from the area. Like the moon?

Culture is similar to Earth pirates. (note to self: ask somebody more knowledgeable about what Earth pirates were actually like. I do not believe my romance novels were an accurate reference.) 

Currently ruled by a monarchy. There is a civil war going on between revolutionaries and monarchists, causing a strain on resources. The locals are too focused on the war to assist us with our broken communications system or the situation we find ourselves in.

When going out onto Tsavaye, remember to wear: 1) Helmet, to provide oxygen. 2) The outfit of neutrality provided by the local leader. Should hopefully (?) keep you out of conflict.

Mr. Sameda is now allowing us to buy 'gacha' at the shop. These seem to be items that he has taken from our personal luggage. I will keep track of all the items I obtain.

Stylophone

Apron

Camera (Mr. Kjærsgaard had a bad reaction when I mentioned this camera, but he did not claim it as his own. After 24 hours of waiting for the rightful owner, I gave it to Mx. Rios.)

Coffee

Music box

Pen

Mask designs (Returned to Mr. Koyasu)

Circus flier

First aid kit

A bent spoon

A hat identical to Nicat's

Alien plush

Heels

A book of Grimm's fairytales (Originally belonged to Mx. Rios - we now share it in our room.)

Shoes

Hummus (disposed of for safety reasons)

Journal (belongs to Mr. Uchibori, but he has bad memories associated with it and has asked me to keep it.)

Saxophone

A charitable donation from Mr. Kjærsgaard.

The LGBTQ pride flag! (placed in my dorm room with Mx. Rios to celebrate their pride and to show my allyship.)

A post card.

Soy milk, which Mr. Sameda threw at me.

A Mr. Sameda costume.

A notebook

A picture of a child named Lin Manuel Miranda

More soy milk

An old photograph (returned to Mr. Yang)

A transcript of a phone call (returned to Ms. Nagata)

A suspension notice for Mr. Koyasu

Sigmund Freud novel (Has notes in it from Ea. Ea has insisted I give it to her to destroy.)

A class photograph.

Old home video of Mx. Rios's family (returned)

- A fan letter to Mr. Kjærsgaard (returned)

A garden gnome

A seashell

An old picture of Ea.

A car accident report.

A… killing game participation ribbon?

Envelope of grocery money.

An empty capsule.

An audio recording of bullying.

A diary entry from Mallory.

A book about serial killers.

[At this point, Meredith has almost run out of space on the page. There is just just enough room for her to write 'CONT LATER.]

Mr. Yang received a romance novel from the gacha, and was kind enough to lend it to me on the condition that I provide a summary for him.

The Clown I Loved

FMC Lillian Finebaum, MMC Michael Rook. Childhood friends, Lillian's uncle was partners at a law firm with Michael's father.

Five years ago, Lillian accidentally caused the death of Michael's father. Michael tried to prosecute her in court for this, but she was acquitted. They have not spoken since.

Lillian moved away to become a clown.

""secondary MMC"" is a man named Elliott, who is also a clown, but he is never presented as a valid love option. He is in love with her, she does not love him back. He is an inventor who has his patent ideas stolen and is now broke.

Lilian's uncle died, now she and her cousin Barry have ownership of the law firm. Michael comes to town to get her to sell, she would like to sell so she could help Elliott, but Barry is holding out.

Family drama ensues, and Lilian and Michael start to fall in love.

She returns home with him, and goes to fancy dinner parties. She does a clowning performance at one of them, despite Michael's disapproval, and entertains the crowd.

They break up due to more drama - Lilian believes that Michael will never "forgive her" for accidentally killing his father.

But they make back up again, and they live HEA.

discussion points for Mr. Yang:

childhood love interests in books: why do they disappoint? show vs tell, being informed that they have a deep connection vs getting to see it 

the failure of a love triangle. if there is to be one, then both candidates must be viable

lack of utilization of the clown theming. being a clown hardly mattered!

strong internal narration style. very easy to relate to lilian, when you ignore the shortcomings.

don't act ungrateful! even if the book was bad... it was a wonder to read, in a situation like this. remember to be gracious and thankful.

Ms. Haidar is hosting a formal dinner party tonight.

Find a nice dress that won't take up space, won't make you an inconvenience. Something that looks nice without drawing attention or stealing the spotlight.

Apologize for being unable to help with setting up the party at some point, but don't lead too strongly. Don't try to make things about your own failing.

… try to enjoy seeing people dance, perhaps.

Don't let yourself get wrapped up in your own delusions of romance and wonder. I feel awful, that I forgot such a basic thing - that wearing formal outfits would cause us to forgo our outfits of neutrality. How foolish can I be? I should have remembered my own advice. I should have kept us all safe. If I had done my job right, Ms. Haidar's dinner party wouldn't have been ruined.

When the royal guard invaded the party to try and arrest us for being dissidents, I allowed myself to be arrested. I thought this would be the best idea, but it clearly was not. Everybody else fought back. Nicat insisted I try and free myself, and that I should not do such a thing again.

In the future, weigh options carefully. Do not give yourself up for arrest immediately, but…

Be sure to thank Ms. Haidar, Nicat, Mr. Koyasu, and Mx. Rios tomorrow morning. They all did a wonderful job organizing the party, even if it did end on a scare. Assure them that you'd love to go to another party.

(thank Nicat for the dance)

"Motive"

Mr. Sameda has said that, if a murder does not occur in 1 week, he will blow up the Earth's moon. He then blew up an asteroid.

Ask people smarter then yourself for more information. Perhaps you are misunderstanding? Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad after all?

[Pasted into her journal is a foreign piece of paper, reading:]

August 25th, 1972 Dear Diary,

My first diary entry as a teenager! I don't feel much different yet, but surely I'll start to feel more mature soon.

Today was amazing. I woke up super early - even before Merry - because I was so excited! Mom made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, just for me.

Then Merry woke up and wished me happy birthday, and I told her "right back at you!", but she insisted that it wasn't actually her birthday yet. Today is kinda weird for us, isn't it? She's 11 and I'm 13, but this is the only day of the year that will be true. Come tomorrow, she'll be 12, and balance will be restored.

She said that because it was my birthday, I could decide whatever we wanted to do today before our party, but… wait, hold on, I just realized something writing this.

Am I being weird, or is that kinda weird? What Merry said? I never thought about it until today, but for some reason her saying that made me realize… she's always letting me pick. Not just today.

Maybe that's the sign of maturity I've been waiting for, realizing that. And it's not like I mind, but… I kinda worry about her, sometimes. I think-

I do not know how Mr. Sameda managed to obtain this. I am selfish. I am happy to see my sisters handwriting, even though it means her privacy has been breached terribly. 

I wish I knew what she was going to say. I wish I could ask. I hope she is safe.

I ought to go do something more productive. I am no use like this.

Mr. Aubeleilles has told me that if I allow people to be rude to me, I am inherently allowing them to be rude to others - showing that such behavior is okay, and encouraging them to do it again. I will need to think about this.

He is also an art thief. He told me that concerningly casually.

Plan something nice for Nicat. He is already doing far too much for you - think of a way to repay him.

CONT - There are a worrying about of items in this gacha. Mr. Sameda did not just take these from our luggage - many of these he must have obtained prior. Many people seem to think of the gacha as a game, to get items they can taunt other people with… that is why I must keep buying. So that items can be returned to their rightful owners with dignity. Here is a continued list of items I have obtained:

Parkour book

A Ronald Reagan themed bat

An odd blue doll

Fishnet gloves

A can-opener

A "baptism-to-go" ???

A worried looking fox

An empty soda can

Handwritten coupons for a free haircut from Mr. Yang (he has confirmed their authenticity, and has allowed me to keep them.)

More soy milk.

ETHICS - Something that is bad because it is illegal. MORALS - Something that is bad because you personally believe it is bad.

EX: On this ship, killing somebody would be "ethical", but it may not be "moral".

All of this is a bit too confusing for me, but Ea was very kind in explaining it. I will try to understand.

Mr. Koyasu and Mx. Lukashevich are dead.

Explosion heard at 10:40PM. We all rushed to the source - the fighting pit in Tsavaye - but there was a whirlpool. Many of us struggled to make it through.

When it all subsided, the body of Mx. Lukashevich lay there, and Mr. Koyasu was buried beneath the rubble. We could only make out his hand.

Mr. Torres confirmed that both of them were dead.

Mr. Koyasu's hand is scorched.

Mx. Lukashevich has many broken bones. Their helmet is broken. She looks peaceful. (Ask others for their thoughts. Perhaps you are just being foolish?)

Explosive instructions are in the room, as well as a pile of TNT.

There are two sets of footprints leading into the pit.

The library has been searched through. Some of the books are stacked neatly, some are stacked haphazardly.

There is a white button up on Mr. Koyasu's bed, as well as motivational post-it notes.

The handwriting on this does not match Nicats, Mr. Koyasu's, or what I remember Ea's handwriting looking like. Nor does it match any of the other handwritten things I have received from the gacha.

There are parts missing from the submarine's. The workers were too distracted to notice anything.

Please remember this. If you ever feel as though you should take a break. You cannot. If you allow yourself to be remiss in your duties, you could miss something just as important. You must always be alert.

There are three plates of slop at the Deadlights Diner.

There is a book called Psychology of Consciousness next to one of the plates.

Mr. Koyasu is not dead. Mr. Minami is.

Mr. Minami masterminded this whole idea. He wanted to prevent the explosion of the moon. He enlisted Mx. Lukashevich and Mr. Koyasu for help.

Mr. Koyasu created the plans for the bomb, and Mr. Minami created the actual bomb itself, which killed himself and Mx. Lukashevich.

Before that, though, he and Mr. Koyasu swapped places. Mr. Koyasu wore Mr. Minami's clothing and mask, and Mr. Minami made his hand look as if it were Mr. Koyasu's.

The purpose of this was to test Mr. Sameda, to see if he would be able to figure it out. To see if they could outsmart him. The notes were from Mr. Minami, giving Mr. Koyasu advice on how to act like him.

I was the one who kept pushing those notes. I knew they couldn't be from Mr. Koyasu. I knew it, and so I kept asking everybody for their handwriting, even though I knew it was circumstantial. I was the one who had the sample of Mr. Koyasu's handwriting. When he wrote in my journal, I was the first to realize he had to be Mr. Koyasu and not Mr. Minami. I was the first to recognize that writing.

Is it my fault? Nobody was being evil, after all. Everybody who participated agreed to be involved. They all did this for the greater good. Lives sacrificed for lives saved. Should I have figured it out sooner? Should I have kept their cover?

I don't understand. I don't understand why Mr. Minami and Mr. Koyasu would do this. I don't understand why they'd try to go against Mr. Sameda, when he clearly is willing to harm us.

He did. He did not kill Mr. Koyasu, but it was a near thing. We are now departing Nauliac to try and find better medical care.

Why play these games? The rules have changed now, because of this. Mr. Sameda now states he is willing to kill us if we "slight him".

TO DO:

Organize a memorial for Mr. Minami and Mx. Lukashevich.

Ask Nicat for advice.

Ask Mr. Koyasu if he'd like breakfast in bed.

Ask Mr. Torres to teach you first aid.

[utterlyinevitable]

hey i know you fell asleep but thank you for the bed time story 🥺🥺🥺

always here to send you fever dream fics on wa 💕 i know it’s not the m fluff you wanted but i did say TBC 👀

transcript under the cut ❤

Post-Bakery Bedtime Story

Mason gets back to the warehouse still dazed and confused as to why the bit at the bakery affected him so much. He doesn’t know why but his feet take him to the library instead of to his room. Nate is sat on his favorite chair by the large window with a tome, Felix is lying on the floor tossing a ball up and down.

“Ah you’re back. The detective make it to work okay?” Felix said with a wink that fell flat when he looked at his friends sullen face. 

Mason shrugged “assume so” 

Nate perked up at the uncertainty in his voice. “Assume so? What do you mean? Did something happen?” 

“I don’t fucking know” m said with such terrifying venom. 

Felix pulled a face and stealthily bolted out of the room. He was not going to stick around for hurricane Mason. Nah ah ah

Nate closed his book and studied the now pacing vampire. Masons hands shoved deep in his pockets and not a cigarette in sight. Not even the faint smell of tobacco that’s synonymous with him tainted his scent and the air. Nate knows it’s because of the detective he stopped smoking. Whether Mason realizes it or not.

“What did you say?” Nate asked knowingly. He wasn’t fully sure Mason said something to upset the detective but 100 years together and his ironclad intuition give him the lead.

“The truth”

“Which is?” 

“It’s not my fault that vile cupcake was sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong” 

“Mason.” Nate all but scolded, speaking volumes with his tone and causing Mason to stop pacing for a moment.

“I think I fucked up” he muttered. All his thoughts culminating to this conclusion.

Nate said nothing. Just waiting for Mason to elaborated on his revelation.

“Lia stomped away. I think she was upset...” But nothing came. Nate watched as Mason’s brows knitted further together and his frown cemented among his freckled features. Whatever happened took it’s toll. 

So Nate asked, “Did you apologize?” 

“Why would I? I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true” 

“If shes upset, you apologize. That’s the right thing to do” 

“Well I damn well didn’t get the chance! She ran right to the station”

“What did you say” Nate basically growled. 

“That all we’re doing is sleeping together. The only ‘seeing’” - he did air quotes with his fingers - “happening is of one another naked”

“Mason...”

He gave Nate a scowl at the sad and patronizing use of his given name.

Time passed silently as the two collected their thoughts. Mason still unsure why he cares so much and Nate afraid for both of them.

Nate breaks the tension. “Is that all that’s going on?”  

“Why would-“ Mason begins to retort, a natural reaction to challenge him. He takes a breath and a pause and then sighs “I hope so.”

Nate nods slowly as he mulls the confession over. He knows exactly why the closed off vampire feels this way and battles whether to break the news to Mason or not. 

Instead he chooses a gentler approach; 

“You care about her. As do we all.”

And then Nate leaves Mason to his own devices

***

That evening Nate volunteered to check up on the detective instead of just simply patrolling, unseen. 

“Oh. Hey” she gave a half hearted smile when he enters her office 

“I’m here to escort you home, if you’ll have me” 

“Thanks. Just need a few more minutes to finish this” 

“Of course.” Nate takes his seat at the table in the corner like usual and gazes around the room trying to assess Mason’s emotional damage. The beat of her heart isn’t consistent with anger. But her demeanor implies somethings amiss

On the walk home he asks “How was your day?”

“Fine” 

“Anything eventful happen?” 

“No. Thankfully.” She takes a pause and kicks a rock. “Actually...” 

Nate perks up, thinking how lucky it is that she’s the one to bring it up and be able to talk about masons mishap. Nate did spend most of the afternoon batting around the implications of the situation on the team, and then the implications of his intervention. 

But then she says, “Verda knows.” 

Nates brows furrowed. Lia notices.  

“About you guys,” she clarifies. Before Nate can respond she quickly adds “his partner eric came by. He’s a supernatural too apparently.” She huffs in disbelief. “and he wants me to convince verda everything’s okay so he can tell him”

NaTe doesn’t really know what to say. The agency needs to know of course. But he also knew Eric is supernatural after their encounter at the carnival - he got the sense. 

Nate wasn’t prepared to have this kind of conversation this evening. 

“How do you feel about that?” he simply asked. 

“I’m glad he knows. That I’ll have somebody to talk to about all this weirdness. But what if he doesn’t come around? What happens if Eric can’t ever tell him, you know? What kind of relationship is that to keep such a big part of your life from the one you love?”

They talk more about this and soon enough they’re at her apartment

And Nate decides to do something out of character. He decides to confront her with his preferred knowledge; “Were you crying earlier?”

She’s taken aback. It’d been hours and she put on a ton of concealer. Damn vampire senses. 

“It doesn’t matter.” There was a fragile finality to her words.  

“Your feelings matter. WhAtever it is”

“It’s stupid.” She shook her head to reaffirm. “My heart got away from me for a moment. It won’t happen again” 

Nate WISHES he could play Cupid. All they needed was a push in the right direction. But they needed to figure this out on their own.

“For what it’s worth, in all my years, listening to your heart is the greatest strength” 

Nate didn’t miss the near inaudible scoff that escaped her

 * * *

So she doesn’t see ub for 4ish days. They’re around. They patrol frequently but no ones come around to say hi and she’s thankful. More time to focus of wtf her heart is trying to tell her and how to deal with verda

She ends up going to the warehouse to pick up Nate. They’ve been texting about the verda situation. Dressed up and ready for the dinner she saunters through the halls and finds him waiting for her in the living room. 

“Damn Lia! You look stunning!” Felix chimes as he takes a look at her in her black dress and matching suede thigh high boots and make up. Very different from the smart dressed detective he sees daily. 

“Thanks” she blushes. She turns to Nate “you ready?” 

“Let me grab my coat” he exits to his room

“Is this a date?” Felix asks innocently enough 

“More like an intervention. Nates good with people and will be able to help verda understand” 

“Makes sense” he agrees. Then nudges her with his elbow “Mason would be the worst option huh” 

“Probably” 

Luckily Nate is back before Felix could read more into the situation and her noncommittal tone. 

“Ready!” He calls and smiles after making sure everything is in order. 

Just as lia is about to meet him in the hallway she nearly collides with Mason entering the room. 

“Hey,” she mumbles politely as she sidesteps him

Mason doesn’t say anything too shocked by her close presence. 

She thinks she hears him grunt and tries to hide her eye roll

As Nate and Lia make their way out of the warehouse mason watches her every movement. Every step. Every sway of her hips and brush of her air in the wind she creates. 

“Feel like groveling yet?” Felix whispers besides him pulling Mason out of the trance. 

“Fuck off”

Masons chest tightens. And he realizes he misses her. Not just her body and her touch but her presence. Her companionship.

Shit

He needs to apologize.

Later that evening, more like in the dead of night, Masons on the roof after patrolling a little earlier than normal but he needed the reprieve at the time. Needed the solitude and distraction patrolling provided. 

Now he’s tuned into nature and so at ease

Until he hears an irregular sound coming from floors below

Not irregular, not really. Not foreign, no. But a familiar thumping

No it couldn’t be.

He’s imagining things

He lights up another cigarette to make it go away

But it persists. It’s still there when he’s done

So he goes downstairs to get a beer to numb the pain. But he takes the route past the room that’s been empty nearly every single night since they moved in.

and it’s there

The steady, calm drum of her heartbeat

And he doesn’t need that beer anymore

He goes into his room two doors down and rests his eyes and body to the sound of her

* * *

The next morning she’s in the smaller, functional kitchen at the table eating an omelet she made along with some coffee. She has a full day of combat training and needs the calories.

Mason waited until he was sure she was relaxed and not distracted to enter. Tbh he’s never been in this room before. No need when human food smells worse than garbage.

He plops himself on the edge of the table opposite her. She doesn’t look up from what she’s reading on her phone. He doesn’t say anything either.

Eventually she takes in a very long very deep breath shuts her eyes puts her phone and fork down exhales and looks at him. Masking her features as best she can in close Proximity

Her left eyebrow raises, silently questioning

He doesn’t know what to say

He didn’t think this far ahead

She has his mind in complete disarray. Everything on his mind in his thoughts is her her her

But she won’t crack first. He can see that. He can feel how cold she is

“Look -“ is all he manages to choke out before she interrupts

“Save it.”

His mouth slams shut at the indifferent hostility

She continues, “what you said was out of line and frankly embarrassing.” 

He gives a tilt of his head in agreement. 

“I don’t need the entire town knowing my business.”

Instinct told him to make a sex joke, but he knew better than to break out the comfortable banter right now. Had enough awareness to see they weren’t back on good terms -- were they ever? 

Lia continued, “I also shouldnt have stormed out. So sorry for overreacting.”

Eventually she allowed for Mason to speak more than one word, “sorry For saying it”

She gave a tight smile. Forced and lacking all the things he’s come to look forward in that toothy grin of hers. 

She pushed her chair out and stood. Mason followed, standing three steps from her. He waited for the hug that she was bound to give him. She must be just as touch starved as he is he hopes.

But instead she picks up her dishes and puts them in the washer and walks out.

-TBC-

_____________

A/N: if you’re not ayla and you’re reading this, thank you for making it this far. and sorry it’s shit. this is just a thing i wrote over whatsapp at midnight because my friend asked for a fluffy m fic 😅

[dailyaudiobible]

04/22/2021 DAB Transcript

Joshua 24:1-33, Luke 21:1-28, Psalms 89:38-52, Proverbs 13:20-23

Today is the 22nd day of April welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's always great to be here with you. Always great to see everybody coming in around the Global Campfire just settling in as we take our next step forward. We have been reading in the Old Testament from the book of Joshua for a little bit. Today we will conclude the book of Joshua and move into some brand-new territory tomorrow as we begin the book of Judges but let's finish the book of Joshua strong. We’re reading from the New Living translation this week. Joshua chapter 24.

Commentary:

Okay. So, in the gospel of Luke today we saw this very very brief story just a very very brief couple lines. Jesus is in the temple complex and this is all before His disciples are admiring the temple and all the buildings of downtown Jerusalem. And this is where Jesus is like, “this is all coming down. Like, there won’t be any stone left unturned. The whole thing is coming down.” And of course, this is referring to what will happen in the future within the next 50 years. Jerusalem will be destroyed by the Romans. We’ve talked about this. They were looking for a Messiah. Jesus came. They got rid of Him and then they decide to take matters into their own hands later and rose up and revolted against Rome and were…were crushed in that process. So, we’ve talked about that. But just before all of that Jesus is in the temple, and there's this…well…there’s a collection box. So, the offering is being given and they’re just watching people put money into the collection box to care for the temple. And it's here that we learn something really interesting about the way God looks at things because they're watching people give plenty of money and then they watch a poor widow give 2 minas…2 small…like pennies…2 small kinda…kinda coins, the smallest amount of currency. Jesus comments on that, that the poor woman who put the two tiny little coins, like really hardly any money at all, that…that she had given more than everybody else because everyone else had given out of their surplus. They still had plenty in their own control, but she had given all that she had to God. In other words, she put all of her trust about her existence in the future, including the next day in God's hands. And, so, as Jesus comments on this this tells us how God is looking at things. It's not like, “o, you can stroke the million-dollar check because you're so wealthy and God's so impressed with that that somehow you’ve gotta have high honor when stroking that million-dollar check is way more than almost any of us could do. If that's your surplus, if you worth a hundred million dollars and you give a million dollars, certainly that's more than almost anybody else could give but the person who gives two cents and that's all that they have and they are completely and utterly dependent upon God from that point forward. God sees that.” So, it's not about how much you can accumulate it’s about how much you're willing to trust God with what you have. And that brings out quite a bit of clarity when Jesus is like, “it's very difficult for rich person enter the kingdom of heaven”, right? Because a rich person has a lot under their control, and they feel a lot of control about what they have. So, if they give a bunch of money that's a bunch of money, that's great and it's a blessing to the kingdom and everything but they still have a surplus that's way way way more…like everything is…nothing has changed. Like they’re still in control, when entering into the kingdom is the profound awareness of complete and utter surrender, and dependence on God for the next breath and everything else. And, so, that's definitely some things to think about from the gospel of Luke today.

Then in the book of Joshua, we concluded the book of Joshua today. And, so, we will be turning into the book of Judges tomorrow and that is sort of the story that comes next and it's a very very different story than the one we've been reading. So. we’ll get to that tomorrow. But we remember when we said goodbye to Moses, and we took a minute just to honor that. Like we traveled a long way with Moses, went through a lot of stuff and bore witness to the wandering in the wilderness and the message of the wilderness and just the story of the wilderness. And then Joshua led the people across into the promised land and settled the promised land and now we’re saying goodbye to Joshua. He was 110 years old and Joshua did similar things to what his mentor Moses had done. He gathered all the people together to…to essentially give them a final charge. He reminded them of where they came from and how they had gotten to where they are and who God was and then he said something that is very very famous, “as for me and my house we will serve the Lord.” And that was sort of the…the apex of what he was trying to say, the pinnacle of what he was trying to stress to the people, and they responded in kind, that they would serve the Lord as well, that they would remain in the covenant that the Lord had made with them and that they would honor and serve God. Then Joshua said something just profound, profound enough that it echoes all the way into our laps. “You are a witness to your own decision. You have chosen to serve the Lord.” And the people responded, “we are witnesses to what we have said.” Can we just make that immediate? We are witnesses to our own decision. We have chosen to serve the Lord. Our lives are the witness to whether or not we are honoring that covenant. That right there cuts to the chase. Like it…it…it cuts to the bone, like gets to the bedrock after the same fashion that…that Jesus would speak and answer questions with questions and speak into situations that are the bedrock of what's really going on. If we, if our lives, if the weight of our lives in this world, the influence, the impact of our lives in this world does not serve as a witness to our decision than all we have is words. And we have learned from the Scriptures plenty, but we also already know this, talk is cheap. It can say anything. But how you live, that's what you believe. And, so, Joshua is bringing that front and center to the children of Israel who are now settled in the promised land, a story that we have been chasing since the book of Genesis basically this whole year. Now they are settled in the promised land and their leader Joshua is bringing things front and center. This is what he wants to stress before he becomes history. It's that important. And, so, let's take it from Joshua, let's take it from the Scriptures as that important. You are a witness to your own decision. You have chosen to serve the Lord.

Prayer:

Holy Spirit come into that declaration. This has been our declaration all along but maybe we’ve never thought that our lives are a witness for or against us, that our lives are a witness for or against You, that often what we say and how we actually live are different. And that should not be. And, so, as we leave the book of Joshua and begin to turn the page into the story that comes next, we will certainly learn plenty. But we’re right here right now being a witness to our own decision. And may we hold it with the gravity and the honor that it deserves. We pray this in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base. Also, if you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, that's also home base, they kinda are built on the same platform so they go to the same place. And stay connected.

So, check out the Community section, either place. This is where the different links to social media, the different channels that we’re a part of are. Be good to follow Daily Audio Bible, at least on whatever…wherever you are, if there's announcements or things going on. Good to stay connected that way. So, check that out. The Community section’s also where the Prayer Wall lives. And that is an invaluable resource. It's never off. It's always on. We can always pray for each other there. So, check that out.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com, there's a link on the homepage or you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner if you're using the app or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement there are a number of numbers that you can use. Well, first of all you can just press the Hotline button, the little red button at the top in the app and share from within the app no matter where you're at in the world or there are some phone numbers. If you're in the Americas 877-942-4253 is the number. If you are in the UK or Europe 44-20-3608-8078. And if you are in Australia or that part of the world 61-3-8820-5459 is the number to call.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hi fellow DABbers this is Rosanna and I'm from Johnson City TN and this is April 15th, and I just heard the prayer request from Alec and Tyrone. Alec has a wife named Jesse who has terminal cancer and she's out of treatment options and Tyrone has a wife who is an unbeliever. And, so, I just want to pray for both of these gentlemen. Dear heavenly Father we come to You and we petition to You on behalf of Alec. Lord Jesus You are the giver of good gifts and You bring healing to our bodies. You still do that today and I pray that You would be with Jesse. I pray that You would supernaturally touch her body and I pray that this cancer would fall away from her body in the name of Jesus. I pray that You would bring a full healing, a supernatural healing that brings glory to Your name. I pray for Tyrone. I pray for his wife. I pray that You can open her eyes, open her heart, open her ears so that she can see Your great love for her, and she can see the fact that You are still pursuing her. And I pray that she would strengthen their marriage and that You would just overcome her with Your love and help her to see You. And God, I thank You for the Daily Audio Bible. I thank You for the fact that it helps so many people to know about You and Your…and Your word and Your love for us. And I also pray for my own mother who has terminal cancer and she's in the exact same position as Jesse. I pray that You would supernaturally heal her and touch her body and bring a complete healing. We love You Jesus. We know You're in control.

It's April 16th Friday my name is Ted from California. All week since the weekend I've been going through a lot of anxiety spiritual battles depression. Something triggered it. I'm not sure. I'm hurting right now, and I just need a lot of prayer and I'm trusting in God to pull me out of this and to make it better and I just want to tell pastor Brian that without this this app and everyone else in the DAB community I would be lost for sure. And, so, I just ask for your prayers and your support. I love you and I thank you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

Good afternoon today is Friday April 16th, 2021 my name is Shondra Brooks and I'm calling from Maryland and I wanted to leave a two-part message. The first being a song, a simple song that's always in my heart and just as a reminder for everyone who hears this call and sings. And the song is somebody's prayed for me, you put them on my mind, you held…I'm sorry…you put me on their mind, they took the time and prayed for me. I'm so glad they prayed. I'm so glad they prayed. I'm so glad they prayed for me. As simple as it is it means so much and it's a major representation of Daily Audio Bible and I'm grateful for Brian and Jill and everyone who even works in the background because truly just the opening message when I first started listening in 2014, I just felt like crying because I was like wow, you know, someone will be able to hear me, and they'll be able to…and pray with me and for me. And it is appreciated. I also wanted to say I am so grateful and thankful for this. I haven't even gotten to the 1st of April as far as the podcast, but God is so faithful and so awesome that the parts that I hear, they directly coincide with where I am and my life and what I need to hear to encourage myself. And in saying all that just to keep it short and sweet, I love you guys. I'm constantly praying for those whose prayers come through and everyone just continue to be faithful even if you feel…feel…feel…feel fearful to call in. God knows your heart. He knows what you stand in need of even…

Good morning family I’m Honeybee from Louisiana. I called in in August expressing my frustration over 20 years of eye surgeries, over 20 eye surgeries but now I'm in a very desperate place for a miracle. I had a macular hole appear the left eye in August and in February there was bleeding in my eye, in the right eye, and the doctor went in and he said there were two blood tumors, and he couldn't remove them. He did laser them and remove the blood and put it a gas bubble, all that fun stuff, but it's been two months and he said the eyes full of blood, the pressure is so low that the muscles are starting to lose their shape and what happens is the I caves in and this is the first time in 20 years I said I don't want to have a surgery. I just want to keep my eye. I've lost my sight in my right eye. I can't see it all for the last two months, but he said you will lose your eye if we do not do this surgery. And then he said if we do it you still might lose the eye. So, please pray for me. I need…I'm discouraged, and I need a miracle. I need God to remove these tumors and restore the pressure and restore the site and I appreciate your prayers. Thank you, my family. I love you.

This is Steve from Branson Mo and I just want to lift up two fellow DABbers in prayer. The first one called in a few weeks ago and I've been praying for you daily since. Your name is Jermaine and you're in upstate New York and you're incarcerated. And I just want to let you know that I've been there. I understand what you're going through. I'm thinking of you and I'm praying for you. And the second one is a man who didn't…didn't give a name. He just called in and said that he was not worth anything to anyone and I am praying for you too. I've had those feelings and continue to have those feelings. And Father I lift up these two gentlemen to You in the name of Jesus. Touch their lives. Heal them emotionally, spiritually, and psychologically. Father, touch their lives and make them whole. Give them self-worth in the name of Jesus. Amen.

[makistar2018]

John Fogerty on the Taylor Swift Imbroglio: ‘I Know Exactly How It Feels’

The veteran rocker had deja vu in hearing of Swift's battles with her former label, recalling his struggle to win his Creedence publishing.

By CHRIS WILLMAN July 8, 2019

When we think of public battles between major recording artists and their current or former label heads, we think… well, as of late June 2019, we’ve thought Taylor Swift and Big Machine. But for more than four decades prior to that, everyone’s first go-to was John Fogerty versus Fantasy Records chief Saul Zaentz. There’s plenty about these two situations that is different — the Creedence Clearwater Revival singer/songwriter was going to battle over his publishing, not his master recordings — but there’s also enough in common that music biz aficionados with long memories couldn’t help but hear echoes of Fogerty’s decades-old struggles in Swift’s fresh laments about not being able to own her own work.

Variety wanted to see if Fogerty himself is tracking the parallels. Getting him on the phone from a tour date in Norway, we weren’t disappointed. An edited transcript of our conversation about Swift follows.

Have you followed Swift’s career or her recent travails?

I remember first riding with a 15-year-old Taylor Swift in an elevator in Detroit, and I’ve loved her and her songwriting and her records ever since. She’s a great role model for my daughter and kids in general, and she’s always projected that she’s strong and not going to get knocked down by a slight wind. When I first heard this news, I felt really empty inside, just really sad, because I know exactly how it feels, you know. It was almost personal, almost like she was a member of the family, because we’ve followed her career pretty closely. She’s a wonderful artist and she deserves to be able to continue that without having a heart full of sad feelings. I didn’t really even think of myself at all, at first. And then after about a few minutes had gone by, I just thought to myself, “Somewhere, Saul Zaentz is laughing.

”I sure recognize this situation. Because I’ve had that happen to me in a very similar way. What I fought for was my publishing – the ownership of the songs I had written. Because I was in a band, and there were four of us, and we hardly ever got along in the later years, the idea of us trying to get together and get our masters back (was unthinkable). So I was fighting for my songs, but it’s kind of the same thing. I’m appalled that she really wasn’t offered the chance to buy them, because her money would have been just as good as the next guy’s money.

Her lawyer (Don Passman) said that she was not given a chance to buy it. And I believe that statement. I don’t believe the cover-up PR spin doctors on the other side trying to say that Taylor turned down the opportunity, because there’s probably nothing more on this earth that she would want more than those masters. As in my case, it’s not so much about the money as it is about owning your children. After such a long period of having so much of the benefit go to somebody else, in the back of your mind you think that you’re finally going to be given the chance to own what you created. It’s only right. In my case, I’ve waited 50 years already. I’ve got about another five years to go of just waiting it out. 

So you have it calculated down to the moment when your publishing rights will revert to you?

Yeah, by law … My songs seemed to fall under an earlier copyright law, which was changed somewhere around 1973, I think. That’s why you hear people now being quoted talking about 35 years for their masters, but before 1970, that law was not in place. The publishing law was that the first publisher would own the publishing for 28 years, with an option —  their option — to renew one time. So you add those two together and that’s 56 years. So here we are. [Laughs.]

And Taylor may have to wait a long time for her masters. In this world of social media, maybe things can be more immediate than they were for me. As you probably know, at one point my frustration and sadness was so great that I stopped playing those songs for quite some time — about 25 years. By the way, I don’t recommend that to anyone. [Laughs.] It’s a horrible career move. It’s terrible. But that is indeed what I did. I still don’t have my songs back. So I can’t say that that strategy was a good one.

This feels like war, in a way, where each side thinks of the other as the instigator. You hear rumblings from the Big Machine or Scooter Braun camps that any future negotiation over the masters just became more unlikely because she went so public with this. Does that strike a chord with your situation?

In the court case that I had against Saul about the slandering case, my lawyer asked him when he was on the stand, “Isn’t it true, Mr. Zaentz, that you have a vendetta against John Fogerty?” And before it came out of my lawyer’s mouth, Saul had screamed at the top of his lungs, “It’s an answer to a vendetta!” You could see steam and smoke coming out of his ears. [Zaentz died in 2014.]

In a situation like this, the label and artist each tend to feel like they are responsible for the other’s success and deserve payback for it. Did Taylor make Big Machine, or did Big Machine make Taylor? You were in a similar situation, as very much the artistic figurehead and key success story of your label.

I had two meetings at Bill Graham’s house with Saul, and Saul said a few things that were a little not in reality. One of the things he said at some point was, “Well, we discovered Creedence.” They were a tiny little jazz label. Saul, before he managed to purchase the label with some financial backers, was the sales representative at Fantasy, and so we knew him through that. But there was absolutely zero artistic input or anything like that. Other than Vince Guaraldi and “Cast Your Fate to the Wind” in the middle 60s, they had never had a hit record until “Susie Q,” which, while I didn’t write it, sold about a half million records. And then even at that point, all of us were at a very small level of show biz. And if it hadn’t been for someone kind of turning everything on its end and starting to write some great songs and make some great records out of them…

As everyone with a brain knows, it is the artist. All the lawyers and the PR men and the rest can stand around and take credit for what’s going on. But without the artist, nobody’s going anywhere. And that’s true in Taylor’s case too, obviously, even though she was quite young… Think of all the numbers of people on the planet, and there are just a precious few who are gifted enough as artists to create things that get the public excited enough to want to spend money, especially in the numbers that Taylor has enjoyed for the last 15 years. People like managers and label execs and all that seem to take that part for granted when they’re making these sort of statements. If they only could have a little bit of humility and realize how rare somebody like Taylor Swift is in the universe. And she’s quite young, still. Twenty-five years from now, she’ll utilize even more of what she’s got.

Would you have any advice for her, based on your experience in being part of a public struggle like this?

Boy. Well, as I already mentioned, I wouldn’t stop singing the songs. That’s something I did, and I don’t advise that. That really harmed my career. That’s something I learned. But I did it for me, you know. That was a point of self-pride and dignity, I guess, and that’s why I did that. I did the best I could with the hand I was dealt.

But I would say that she seems, especially in this world of social media, I’m quite certain that 99% of her fans are on her side. The main thing is to have a support group. It’s horrible to have to do this alone. Especially because the name-calling starts, and when people run out of the truth, they start trying to attack your character. I think my advice would be to keep doing what you’re doing. I think her fans want her to stick up for herself, because she always has. … I’m sure she could have raised the money to have this happen. It sounds pretty spiteful that Scott (Borchetta) wanted to sell the label to her only real enemy, as far as I know. He was the manager of Kanye, and Kanye did some pretty dreadful things publicly to Taylor.

Her side has said the only deal she was offered to get her masters back was to basically…

“Give us more!” [Laughs.] I remember early on, way back, Saul Zaentz offered to get us into this offshore tax plan, and he sat at his desk and said, “Well, I’m going to get you into this plan, and in return you guys will sign a 10-year contract.” I took that back to the guys in Creedence and I said, “Uh, I don’t think this is a very good plan. He wants us to sign for 10 years so that we can have a small percentage of ourselves.”

When you stopped doing your old Creedence material for all those years, was that a matter of pride, or was it because you did think it would force their hand and finally get them to give you back your publishing?

I think it was more of a feeling that they’ve done this horrible thing to me, and gee, if nothing changes, then why would I keep doing the same thing? In other words, if you go in to negotiate with somebody, but you keep giving them everything that they want, well, there’s no pressure on them to do anything to change. It became very much a point of valor. Plus I felt that if I was out there screaming “Proud Mary,” I just thought I would probably end up in a bar somewhere, having a gig playing for 10 people, and being a complete screaming alcoholic and insane and living a horrible life. I didn’t really know a way out, but it seemed to me if I kept performing those songs in front of people, and hating myself more and more for doing it, that there would never be a positive end to that.

She would likely never do anything as radical as you did in excising old songs from the setlist, but it might influence how many she includes, if this isn’t resolved and she’s not enjoying the thought of singing them live.

Yeah, you’re very angry inside. It’s like somebody twisting the knife every day. That’s probably why I felt so empty when I first heard the news. And I’m not smart enough to know what her way out is. It would be great if people kind of outside of her circle maybe decided to help. I went to Bill Graham. I thought that he would be a fair witness, like in the old “Stranger in a Strange Land” book — a person that would be respected by both sides and could figure out the answer. But sadly, that didn’t work out either.

Good people think, “Wow, these two neighbors are just screaming at each other every single day. The rest of us should get together and figure out a way to mediate.” Perhaps her lawyer can get some people to actually get in there and mediate and try to actually find a solution for the right reason — because it’s the right thing to do. [Laughs.] I’ve just said something so blazingly unknown to the music business, but it’s the way us normal people think.

Variety

[ts1989fanatic]

John Fogerty on the Taylor Swift Imbroglio: ‘I Know Exactly How It Feels’

The veteran rocker had deja vu in hearing of Swift's battles with her former label, recalling his struggle to win his Creedence publishing.

By CHRIS WILLMAN

When we think of public battles between major recording artists and their current or former label heads, we think… well, as of late June 2019, we’ve thought Taylor Swift and Big Machine. But for more than four decades prior to that, everyone’s first go-to was John Fogerty versus Fantasy Records chief Saul Zaentz. There’s plenty about these two situations that is different — the Creedence Clearwater Revival singer/songwriter was going to battle over his publishing, not his master recordings — but there’s also enough in common that music biz aficionados with long memories couldn’t help but hear echoes of Fogerty’s decades-old struggles in Swift’s fresh laments about not being able to own her own work.

Variety wanted to see if Fogerty himself is tracking the parallels. Getting him on the phone from a tour date in Norway, we weren’t disappointed. An edited transcript of our conversation about Swift follows.

Have you followed Swift’s career or her recent travails?

I remember first riding with a 15-year-old Taylor Swift in an elevator in Detroit, and I’ve loved her and her songwriting and her records ever since. She’s a great role model for my daughter and kids in general, and she’s always projected that she’s strong and not going to get knocked down by a slight wind. When I first heard this news, I felt really empty inside, just really sad, because I know exactly how it feels, you know. It was almost personal, almost like she was a member of the family, because we’ve followed her career pretty closely. She’s a wonderful artist and she deserves to be able to continue that without having a heart full of sad feelings. I didn’t really even think of myself at all, at first. And then after about a few minutes had gone by, I just thought to myself, “Somewhere, Saul Zaentz is laughing.”

I sure recognize this situation. Because I’ve had that happen to me in a very similar way. What I fought for was my publishing – the ownership of the songs I had written. Because I was in a band, and there were four of us, and we hardly ever got along in the later years, the idea of us trying to get together and get our masters back (was unthinkable). So I was fighting for my songs, but it’s kind of the same thing. I’m appalled that she really wasn’t offered the chance to buy them, because her money would have been just as good as the next guy’s money.

Her lawyer (Don Passman) said that she was not given a chance to buy it. And I believe that statement. I don’t believe the cover-up PR spin doctors on the other side trying to say that Taylor turned down the opportunity, because there’s probably nothing more on this earth that she would want more than those masters. As in my case, it’s not so much about the money as it is about owning your children. After such a long period of having so much of the benefit go to somebody else, in the back of your mind you think that you’re finally going to be given the chance to own what you created. It’s only right. In my case, I’ve waited 50 years already. I’ve got about another five years to go of just waiting it out.

So you have it calculated down to the moment when your publishing rights will revert to you?

Yeah, by law … My songs seemed to fall under an earlier copyright law, which was changed somewhere around 1973, I think. That’s why you hear people now being quoted talking about 35 years for their masters, but before 1970, that law was not in place. The publishing law was that the first publisher would own the publishing for 28 years, with an option — their option — to renew one time. So you add those two together and that’s 56 years. So here we are. [Laughs.]

And Taylor may have to wait a long time for her masters. In this world of social media, maybe things can be more immediate than they were for me. As you probably know, at one point my frustration and sadness was so great that I stopped playing those songs for quite some time — about 25 years. By the way, I don’t recommend that to anyone. [Laughs.] It’s a horrible career move. It’s terrible. But that is indeed what I did. I still don’t have my songs back. So I can’t say that that strategy was a good one.

This feels like war, in a way, where each side thinks of the other as the instigator. You hear rumblings from the Big Machine or Scooter Braun camps that any future negotiation over the masters just became more unlikely because she went so public with this. Does that strike a chord with your situation?

In the court case that I had against Saul about the slandering case, my lawyer asked him when he was on the stand, “Isn’t it true, Mr. Zaentz, that you have a vendetta against John Fogerty?” And before it came out of my lawyer’s mouth, Saul had screamed at the top of his lungs, “It’s an answer to a vendetta!” You could see steam and smoke coming out of his ears. [Zaentz died in 2014.]

In a situation like this, the label and artist each tend to feel like they are responsible for the other’s success and deserve payback for it. Did Taylor make Big Machine, or did Big Machine make Taylor? You were in a similar situation, as very much the artistic figurehead and key success story of your label.

I had two meetings at Bill Graham’s house with Saul, and Saul said a few things that were a little not in reality. One of the things he said at some point was, “Well, we discovered Creedence.” They were a tiny little jazz label. Saul, before he managed to purchase the label with some financial backers, was the sales representative at Fantasy, and so we knew him through that. But there was absolutely zero artistic input or anything like that. Other than Vince Guaraldi and “Cast Your Fate to the Wind” in the middle 60s, they had never had a hit record until “Susie Q,” which, while I didn’t write it, sold about a half million records. And then even at that point, all of us were at a very small level of show biz. And if it hadn’t been for someone kind of turning everything on its end and starting to write some great songs and make some great records out of them…

As everyone with a brain knows, it is the artist. All the lawyers and the PR men and the rest can stand around and take credit for what’s going on. But without the artist, nobody’s going anywhere. And that’s true in Taylor’s case too, obviously, even though she was quite young… Think of all the numbers of people on the planet, and there are just a precious few who are gifted enough as artists to create things that get the public excited enough to want to spend money, especially in the numbers that Taylor has enjoyed for the last 15 years. People like managers and label execs and all that seem to take that part for granted when they’re making these sort of statements. If they only could have a little bit of humility and realize how rare somebody like Taylor Swift is in the universe. And she’s quite young, still. Twenty-five years from now, she’ll utilize even more of what she’s got.

Would you have any advice for her, based on your experience in being part of a public struggle like this?

Boy. Well, as I already mentioned, I wouldn’t stop singing the songs. That’s something I did, and I don’t advise that. That really harmed my career. That’s something I learned. But I did it for me, you know. That was a point of self-pride and dignity, I guess, and that’s why I did that. I did the best I could with the hand I was dealt.

But I would say that she seems, especially in this world of social media, I’m quite certain that 99% of her fans are on her side. The main thing is to have a support group. It’s horrible to have to do this alone. Especially because the name-calling starts, and when people run out of the truth, they start trying to attack your character. I think my advice would be to keep doing what you’re doing. I think her fans want her to stick up for herself, because she always has. … I’m sure she could have raised the money to have this happen. It sounds pretty spiteful that Scott (Borchetta) wanted to sell the label to her only real enemy, as far as I know. He was the manager of Kanye, and Kanye did some pretty dreadful things publicly to Taylor.

Her side has said the only deal she was offered to get her masters back was to basically…

“Give us more!” [Laughs.] I remember early on, way back, Saul Zaentz offered to get us into this offshore tax plan, and he sat at his desk and said, “Well, I’m going to get you into this plan, and in return you guys will sign a 10-year contract.” I took that back to the guys in Creedence and I said, “Uh, I don’t think this is a very good plan. He wants us to sign for 10 years so that we can have a small percentage of ourselves.”

When you stopped doing your old Creedence material for all those years, was that a matter of pride, or was it because you did think it would force their hand and finally get them to give you back your publishing?

I think it was more of a feeling that they’ve done this horrible thing to me, and gee, if nothing changes, then why would I keep doing the same thing? In other words, if you go in to negotiate with somebody, but you keep giving them everything that they want, well, there’s no pressure on them to do anything to change. It became very much a point of valor. Plus I felt that if I was out there screaming “Proud Mary,” I just thought I would probably end up in a bar somewhere, having a gig playing for 10 people, and being a complete screaming alcoholic and insane and living a horrible life. I didn’t really know a way out, but it seemed to me if I kept performing those songs in front of people, and hating myself more and more for doing it, that there would never be a positive end to that.

She would likely never do anything as radical as you did in excising old songs from the setlist, but it might influence how many she includes, if this isn’t resolved and she’s not enjoying the thought of singing them live.

Yeah, you’re very angry inside. It’s like somebody twisting the knife every day. That’s probably why I felt so empty when I first heard the news. And I’m not smart enough to know what her way out is. It would be great if people kind of outside of her circle maybe decided to help. I went to Bill Graham. I thought that he would be a fair witness, like in the old “Stranger in a Strange Land” book — a person that would be respected by both sides and could figure out the answer. But sadly, that didn’t work out either.

Good people think, “Wow, these two neighbors are just screaming at each other every single day. The rest of us should get together and figure out a way to mediate.” Perhaps her lawyer can get some people to actually get in there and mediate and try to actually find a solution for the right reason — because it’s the right thing to do. [Laughs.] I’ve just said something so blazingly unknown to the music business, but it’s the way us normal people think.

[loretranscripts]

Lore Episode 29: The Big Chill (Transcript) - 7th March 2016

tw: graphic violence

Disclaimer: This transcript is entirely non-profit and fan-made. All credit for this content goes to Aaron Mahnke, creator of Lore podcast. It is by a fan, for fans, and meant to make the content of the podcast more accessible to all. Also, there may be mistakes, despite rigorous re-reading on my part. Feel free to point them out, but please be nice!

Some places are more frightening than others. It’s hard to nail down a specific reason why, but even so, I can’t think of a single person who might disagree. Some places just have a way of getting under your skin. For some it’s the basement, for others it’s the local graveyard. I even know people who are afraid of certain colours. Fear, it seems, is a landmine that can be triggered by almost anything, and while history might be full of hauntingly tragic stories that span a variety of settings and climates, the most chilling ones – literally – are those that take place in the harsh environment of winter: the incident at Dyatlov Pass; the tragedy of the Donner party; even the sinking of the Titanic in 1912 took place in the freezing waters of the north Atlantic. Winter, it seems, is well equipped to end lives and create fear, and when I think of dangerous winters, I think of Maine, that area of New England on the northern frontier. If you love horror, you might equate Maine with Stephen King, but even though he’s tried hard over the last few decades to make us believe in Derry and Castle Rock and Salem’s Lot, the state has enough danger on its own. Maine is also home to nearly 3500 miles of coastline, more than even California, and that’s where the real action happens. The Maine coastline is littered with thousands of small islands, jagged rocks, ancient lighthouses and even older legends, and all in the cold north, where the sea is cruel and the weather can be deadly. It’s often there, in the places that are isolated and exposed, that odd things happen, things that seem born of the circumstances and climate, things that leave their mark on the people there – things that would never happen on the mainland. And if the stories are to be believed, that’s a good thing. I’m Aaron Mahnke, and this is Lore.

The coastline of Maine isn’t as neat and tidy as other states’. Don’t picture sandy beaches and warm waves that you can walk through; this is the cold north, the water is always chilly and the land tends to emerge from the waves as large, jagged rocks. Go ahead and pull up a map of Maine on your phone, I’ll wait. You’ll see what I mean right away – this place is dangerous, and because of that, ships have had a long history of difficulty when it comes to navigating the coast of Maine. Part of that is because of all the islands - they’re everywhere. According to the most recent count, there are over 4,600 of them, scattered along the coastal waters like fragments of a broken bottle. One such fragment is Seguin Island. It’s only three miles from the mainland, but it’s easy to understand how harsh winter weather could isolate anyone living there very quickly, and when you’re the keeper of the lighthouse there, that isolation comes with the job. The legend that’s been passed down for decades there is the story of a keeper from the mid-1800s. According to the tale, the keeper was newly married and, after moving to the island with his bride, they both began to struggle with the gulf between their lives there and the people on the coast. So, to give his wife something to do with her time – and maybe to get a bit of entertainment out of it for himself – the keeper ordered a piano for her. They say it was delivered during the autumn, just as the winter chill was creeping in. In the story, it had to be hoisted up the rock face, but that’s probably not true; Seguin is more like a green hill pretruding from the water than anything else but, hey, it adds to the drama, right? And that’s what these old stories provide –plenty of drama. When the piano arrived the keeper’s wife was elated, but buyer’s remorse quickly set in. You see, the piano only came with the sheet music for one song. With winter quickly rolling in from the north, shipping in more music was impossible, so she settled in and made the best of it. The legend says that she played that song non-stop, over and over, all throughout the winter. Somehow she was immune to the monotony of it all, but her husband, the man who had only been hoping for distraction and entertainment, took it hard. They say it drove him insane. In the end, the keeper took an axe and destroyed the piano, hacking it into nothing more than a pile of wood and wire, and then, still deranged from the repetitive tune, he turned the axe on his wife, nearly chopping her head off in the process. The tragic story always ends with the keeper’s suicide, but most know it all to be fiction. At least, that’s the general opinion, but even today, there are some who claim that if you happen to find yourself on a boat in the waters between the island and the mainland, you can still hear the sound of piano music drifting across the waves.

Boon island is near the southern tip of Maine’s long coastline. It’s not a big island by any stretch of the imagination, perhaps 400 square yards in total, but there’s been a lighthouse there since 1811 due to the many shipwrecks that have plagued the island for as long as Europeans have sailed in those waters. The most well-known shipwreck on Boon Island occurred there in the winter of 1710 when the Nottingham Galley, a ship captained by John Deane, wrecked there on the rocks. All 14 crew members survived, but the ship was lost, stranding them without help or supplies in the cold winter. As the unfortunate sailors died, one by one, the survivors were forced to eat the dead or face starvation, and they did this for days, until fishermen finally discovered and rescued them. But that’s not the most memorable story from Boon Island, that honour falls to the tale of Katherine Bright, the wife of a former lighthouse keeper there in the 19th century. According to those who believe the story, the couple had only been on the island for a few months when Katherine’s husband slipped while trying to tie off their boat. He fell and hit his head on the rocks and then slid unconsciously into the water, where he drowned. At first, Katherine tried to take on the duties of keeping the light running herself, but after nearly a week, fishermen in York on the mainland watched the light flicker out and stay dark. When they travelled to the island to investigate, they found Katherine sitting on the tower’s stairs. She was cradling her dead husband’s corpse in her arms. Legend has it that Katherine was brought back to York along with her husband’s body, but it was too late for her. Just like the lighthouse they had left behind, she was now cold and dark. Some flames, it seems, can’t be relit.

There’s been a lighthouse on the shore of Rockland, Maine, for nearly 200 years. It’s on an oddly-shaped hill, with two large depressions in the face of the rock that were said to remind the locals of an owl. So, when the light was built there in 1825 it was, of course, named Owls Head. Give any building long enough, mix in some tragedy and unexplainable phenomenon, and you can almost guarantee a few legends will be born. Owls Head is no exception. One of the oldest stories is a well-documented one from 1850. It tells of a horrible winter storm that ripped through the Penobscot Bay area on December 22nd of that year. At least five ships were driven aground by the harsh waves and chill wind. It was a destructive and fierce storm, and it would have been and understatement to say that it wasn’t a wise idea to be out that night – on land or at sea. A small ship had been anchored at Jameson Point that night. The captain had done the smart thing and gone ashore to weather the storm inside, but he left some people behind on the ship. Three, actually: first mate, Richard Ingraham, a sailor named Roger Elliot, and Lydia Dyer, a passenger. While those three poor souls tried to sleep that night on the schooner, the storm pushed the ship so hard that the cables snapped, setting the ship adrift across the bay. Now, it’s not exactly a straight shot south-east to get to Owls Head, it’s a path shaped more like a backwards “C” to get around the rocky coast, but the ship somehow managed to do it anyway. It passed the breakwater, drifted east and south, and finally rounded the rocky peninsula where Owls Head Light is perched, all before smashing against the rocks south of the light.

The three passengers survived the impact and, as the ship began to take on water, they scrambled up to the top deck – better the biting wind than the freezing water, they assumed – and then they waited, huddled there under a pile of blankets against the storm, just waiting for help. When the ship began to  actually break apart in the waves, though, Elliot, the sailor, was the only one to make an escape from the wreckage. I can’t imagine how cold he must have been with the freezing wind and ocean spray lashing at him from the darkness, but standing on the rocks with his feet still ankle-deep in the waves, he happened to look up and see the lighthouse on the hill. If he was going to find help, that was his best option, so he began to climb. He was practically dead by the time he reached the lighthouse, but when he knocked, no one answered. A moment later, the keeper of the light rode up the path on a sleigh, having been out for supplies, and realised at once that Elliot needed help. He took him in, gave him hot rum and put him into a warm bed, but not before Elliot managed to whisper something about the others.

The keeper immediately called for help and gathered a group of about a dozen men. Together, they all travelled down to the shore, where they began to look for the wreck of the ship and the people who may still be alive onboard. When they found the remains of the schooner, the men began to carefully climb across the wreckage, looking for signs of the other passengers. It was treacherous work – the wood was encrusted in ice and each step swayed dangerously with the waves. When they finally found them, they were still on the portion of the deck where Elliot had left them, but they seemed to shiver whenever the light of the lantern washed over them. Climbing closer, the men discovered why: Ingraham and Dyer were both encased in a thick layer of ice, completely covering their bodies. They were frozen. Not taking any chances, the men somehow managed to pry the couple free from the deck of the ship and the entire block was transported back up the hill to the lighthouse. All that night, they worked fast and carefully. They placed the block in a tub of water and then slowly chipped away at the ice, and as it melted, they moved the limbs of each person in an attempt to get their blood flowing again, and somehow, against all logic and medical odds, it worked. It took them a very long time to recover, but Ingraham and Dyer soon opened their eyes. Ingraham was the first to speak, and it was said that he croaked the words “what is all this? Where are we?” Roger Elliot didn’t survive the aftermath of the shipwreck. Maybe it was the trauma of climbing up the hill to the lighthouse, soaked to the bone and exposed to the freezing winds of the storm. Perhaps it was an injury he sustained in the shipwreck itself, or on the climb to the lighthouse. Dyer and Ingraham faired better, though. They eventually recovered and even married each other. They settled down and raised a family together in the area, all thanks to the man who died to bring them help when all seemed lost.

Later stories from inside Owls Head lighthouse have been equally chilling. Although there are no other tragic events on record there, it’s clear from the first-hand accounts of those who have made Owls Head their home that something otherworldly has taken up residence there. The Andrews family was one of the first to report any sort of unusual activity on the property. I can’t find a record of their first names, but the keeper and his wife lived there along with her elderly father. According to their story, one night the couple was outside and looked up to see a light swirling in her father’s window. When they climbed the stairs, they found the older man shaking in his bed from fright. Some think he might have seen the old sailor, a common figure witnessed by many over the years. When John Norton was keeper in 1980, he claimed to have seen the same apparition. He had been sleeping, but when a noise woke him up, he opened his eyes to see the figure of an old sea captain standing over his bed, just… staring at him. The old sailor has been blamed for mysterious footprints that tend to appear in the snow, footprints that could be found on the walk toward the house. The prints never seem to have an origin point, and always end abruptly in the middle of the sidewalk. Others have claimed to feel cold spots in the house, while some have gone on record to swear that brass fixtures inside the lighthouse, fixtures that were usually tarnished and dark, would be found mysteriously polished. None of the keepers have been able to figure out who was doing the cleaning for them, though. There have been other stories as well, tales of a white lady who has been frequently seen in the kitchen, of doors slamming without anyone in the room, and of silverware that has been heard to rattle in the drawers. Despite this, though, most have said that they felt at peace with her there – more at peace, at least, than they are with the old, bearded sailor.

In the mid-1980s, Andy Germann and his wife, Denise, lived there while tending the light. They moved in and settled into life on the harsh coast of Maine. Andy divided his time between tending the light and a series of renovations to the old lighthouse, which left the yard outside rather chaotic and full of construction materials. One night after climbing into bed, the couple heard the sound of some of the building supplies outside falling over in the wind. Andy pulled on his pants and shoes and left the room to go take care of the mess before the wind made it worse. Denise watched him leave, and then rolled back over to sleep with the lamp still on. A short while later, she felt him climb back into bed. The mattress moved, as did the covers, and so she asked out loud how it had gone, if there had been any trouble or anything unusual, but Andy didn’t reply, so Denise rolled over. When she did, she found that Andy’s spot in bed was still empty. Well, almost. In the spot where he normally slept beside her, there was a deep depression in the sheets, as if an invisible body were laying right there beside her. Of course, it was just the dent where Andy had been sleeping moments before. At least, that’s what she told herself, but thinking back on it later, Denise admits that she has doubts. There were moments when she was laying there, staring at the impression in the sheets, that she could have sworn the shape was moving. Maybe she was too level-headed to get upset, or perhaps she was too tired to care. Whatever the reason, Denise simply told whoever it was to leave her alone, and then rolled over and fell back asleep. At breakfast the next morning, she wanted to tell Andy about the experience, thinking he would laugh it off and help her to explain it away, but before she could, he told her his own story. It turns out Andy had an unusual experience of his own the previous night. He explained how, as he had exited the room and stepped out into the dimly lit hallway, he saw what he could only describe as a faint cloud hovering close to the floor, and this cloud, he said, had been moving. According to Andy, when he walked down the hall, it moved right up to his feet and then passed on through him. That’s when Denise asked Andy where the cloud had been going. “Into the bedroom,” he told her. “Why?”

You don’t have to travel to a lighthouse to bump into tales of the unexplained or otherworldly. You can hear them from just about anyone you meet, from the neighbour down the street to your real estate agent, but lighthouses seem to have a reputation for the tragic, and maybe that’s understandable – these are, after all, houses built to help save lives in a dangerous setting. It might be safe to say that the well for these stories runs deeper than many place – but are they true? Like a lot of stories, it seems to depend on who you talk to. Keepers across the decades have had a mixed bag of experiences. Some see odd things, and some don’t. Maybe some people just connect to the stories more than others and go looking for hints and signs where there are none. One recent family described their time there as “normal”. They never saw ghosts, never watched objects move, and felt right at home the whole time they were there. Another family, though, acknowledged that something unusual seemed to be going on in the lighthouse. They would find lightbulbs partially unscrewed and the thermostat would constantly readjust itself – perhaps whatever it is that’s haunting the lighthouse is just very environmentally conscious. It’s easy to laugh off most of these stories, but we’ve never lived there, we’ve never heard or felt something that can’t be explained away, and like most samples of data, there’s always the outlier. Another family who lived at the lighthouse in the late 1980s claimed to have experienced their fair share of unusual activity, though. One night, while Gerard and Debby Graham were asleep, their three-year-old daughter, Claire, quietly opened her eyes and sat up in bed. She stared into the darkness for a moment, as if carefully listening to something, and then climbed out of her bed and left the room. Her little bare feet patted on the cold floor of the hallway as she made her way down towards her parents’ room. Inside, she slowly approached the side of their bed, and then tapped her father on the arm to wake him. When he did wake up, he asked Claire what was the matter. The little girl replied that she was supposed to tell him something. “Tell me what?” he father asked. “There’s a fog rolling in,” Claire replied, somehow sounding like someone infinitely older. “Sound the horn”. When he asked her who had told her this, the little girl looked at him seriously. “My friend,” she told him, “the old man with the beard.”

[Closing statements]

[qkantyjk-blog]

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[signutai]

Surprised kiss and Eyelashes/Glasses for the kiss prompts !!

[their-destinys-writer]

Misadventures in Reporting #3

About the series: Misadventures in Reporting is a series of short stories about the adventures of a normal reporter living in an abnormal world.

Rating: PG-13 for mild cursing and violence

Word count: 2,576

Also in: Wattpad

Support this series in Ko-fi or Patreon (Posted on early access in the latter)

#3 - Teleman’s Mark

“I don’t even know where to begin with you.”

Melinda gulped under the scrutiny of Mr. Sullivan. Boy, was she in so much trouble. But nobody told her doing the right thing would be cheap. The reporter took a deep breath, weighing her options. Apologize? Defend herself? Wait for the boss to say his piece? Perhaps the third option. She was in enough trouble as it was.

“How many times have I told you not to push the deadline?” Mr. Sullivan hissed, almost barring his yellowish teeth.

Wait, am I supposed to answer that?

“A million times I’ve told you,” he continued. With every word he spoke, the desk between them felt smaller and smaller. Had he always looked so large behind it? “And yet, you give me one of the most important reports, if not the most important report in months with and hour to spare for printing. We had to cut the last two paragraphs because we didn’t have time to look through the whole thing!”

The woman winced. She had hoped only one paragraph would have to be cut. But alas, most of it got through without major changes.

“And now,” Mr. Sullivan raised his voice, “now we got a Porsche in the redaction floor, thanks to your little stunt. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Melinda’s mouth opened, but it suddenly went dry, so she closed it back up. Was she willing to put next month’s rent at risk just for ‘doing the right thing’? Was it worth sacrificing several months of electricity or water for being right? Was she right?

“I didn’t think he’d take it so bad,” she managed to say at last.

“The guy held up a damn crane with his mind,” the aging man deadpanned. “What did you think he was going to do? Throw confetti?”

The woman’s gaze darted to the surface of the desk. It wasn’t until that moment that shame started to invade her. How could she be so thoughtless? Over three-hundred people worked in this newspaper. Her article would reflect on the company, and thus, her coworkers. Someone could have gotten hurt.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Sullivan,” she said quietly. “It won’t happen again.”

The man snarled a sound of disgust, giving her an exasperated look.

“Give me one good reason I shouldn’t fire you right now,” he hissed.

A loud thudding resounded from Melinda’s insides. Her heart was drumming hard against her chest. She could feel a drop of sweat trickling down the side of her face, despite the cold air conditioning.

The article broke my career, she concluded.

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Tsk.” Mr. Sullivan shook his head. “You really are dense.”

Well that’s uncalled for, Melinda thought, rising her gaze to his once again. His expression still seemed exasperated, but now he was looking outside his office.

“Mr. Sullivan, I—”

“You can’t get fired because you proved your point,” he interrupted. Melinda frowned. “Three years here, and you still can’t put your deduction skills to use under pressure. So, let’s try this again: give me one good reason I shouldn’t fire you this instant.”

It was like a light flicked on in Melinda’s brain. He wasn’t firing her, he was testing her. Why does he have to be so mean about it, though?

“Because,” she started, still hesitant to respond back, but determined to keep her job. “Because if our—my­—allegations were false, the proper response would’ve been to call a press conference denying the claims. Throwing a car through our building dampers his own reputation, and it’s an attempt against freedom of press. It’s a threat against not only us, but anyone who dares talk ill of him.” The woman smirked. “Not very superheroic, if you ask me.”

“Exactly.” Mr. Sullivan slammed his fist against the desk, startling Melinda. “That piece of shit is trying to shut us up. This isn’t like that Cronus guy. That was self-defense. Teleman just made a declaration of war against us and the free press. We can’t back out now. So,” the man slammed his hands together and rose from his chair, “I’m gonna need everything you got from this story. Notes, sounds, transcriptions, anything you can share by today. The earlier the better. We need to write tomorrow’s editorial piece.”

“Yessir!” Melinda blurted, jumping to her feet.

“What are you, a soldier?” Mr. Sullivan chuckled. “Just get to it, Martínez. Go, get!”

“Y-yes, Mr. Sullivan.”

Without needing to be told again, she scampered out of the office and headed straight to her desk. As she approached it, she realized it wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Where hers and several others had been there was yellow tape and half of the Porsche she saw from outside.

A shudder went up her spine, as she realized Teleman’s target had not been as random as she initially thought.

---

“It was horrible,” Melinda complained.

Thanks to a certain superhero, two thirds of employees had been relegated to simple tasks that day. For security reasons. This created one of those rare opportunities where the journalist’s group of friends from the Latest News Division got to eat lunch together. As they made the line to order their food, Melinda took the opportunity to answer the constant what-happened-with-Sullivan question.

“You’re blowing it waaay out of proportion,” Kevin, the photographer, muttered as he tinkered with his new phone.

“I thought I was gonna self-combust,” she whined, slumping her head back. “Why does he have to be so mean about it? I was already planning my life as a homeless bum living on storm drains.”

“You know how it is,” Will, another reporter like her, chuckled. “That old man would rather torture you to death than be direct.”

“Who cares, anyway,” Beatriz, a graphic designer, drawled. “You didn’t get fired. That’s what matters.”

“At the cost of my sanity!” Melinda argued. “I’ve never been so scared to lose a job in my life.”

“Eh, you would’ve gotten a new one in a week,” Kevin commented, without looking up from the screen.

“No way,” the reporter in question argued. “Nobody would’ve wanted to hire the woman who made a superhero angry enough to throw a car through a building. My career would’ve been finished.”

“Nah, you’d be fine. Hey, Will,” the photographer suddenly called, raising his phone. “Look pretty for me, will ya?”

“Man, you know I don’ like it when people take pictures of me,” the reporter complained.

“C’mon, I wanna test the resolution on this thing,” Kevin insisted.

“Why me?”

“Hm, you’re right, you can’t smile. Melinda, smile for me.”

“Dude, I’m having a mental breakdown,” the journalist huffed.

“Why?” Kevin whined. “You’re still working. You kept your job. Why are you so upset?”

“Have you been ignoring me this whole time?”

“Not…ignoring,” Kevin shrugged. “Just listened to half of what you said.”

Melinda groaned, but Beatriz waved her hand dismissively.

“Mija, you gotta chill about this whole thing,” she said. “But honestly, Kevin’s right. You’re worrying too much. You kept your job, that’s what matters. Who knows, you may actually get promoted for this.”

“If Teleman doesn’t kill one of us first.”

“Occupational hazard,” Will shrugged, joining the conversation again after ordering. “Who’s next?”

Melinda offered herself and stepped up to order her lunch.

“Will that be all?” the young woman asked, and the reporter agreed. “That will be twelve-fifteen.”

“Here,” she said, handing her credit card.

“You buy your morning coffee here too, don’t you?” the cashier suddenly said, as she made the transaction.

“Closest good coffee to work,” Melinda responded automatically, her mind still wandering back to that morning.

“You work nearby?” the young, blonde woman asked as she took her time ripping the receipt from the card reader.

“Yeah,” Melinda shrugged, taking the piece of paper. “Thank you!”

She turned around to her friends, who were all giving her a look of incredulity.

“What?”

The other three looked at each other, as if debating who would be the one to speak up.

“Imma look for a table,” Will pipped up, quickly deserting the group.

Melinda frowned, and stared at the other two, who now looked defeated. With a shrug, they turned to the cashier and made their orders, while the reporter rolled her eyes and waited for hers and Will’s food. After a few minutes, all four sat at a round table with their meals.

“Is anybody gonna say it?” Beatriz said.

“Say what?” Melinda frowned.

“For a journalist, you can be very unobservant,” Will muttered loud enough for the rest to hear.

“Not unobservant,” Kevin chimed in. “Just oblivious to the language of love.”

“Here we go again,” Melinda sighed. “You guys really think I’m thinking about romance when a Porsche destroyed my desk?”

At last, Kevin’s eyes were pried away from his phone. Will and Beatriz followed suit.

“I thought it was random,” Beatriz said. Kevin and Will exchanged stares, while Melinda shook her head.

“I don’t think it was,” Melinda said, as she started poking around her salad. “My desk wasn’t the only one next to a window, yet it was the only one made into pieces. If I had gotten to work earlier, who knows what would’ve happened to me.”

As she bit into a cherry tomato, she could feel the awkward silence shared between the other three people on the table. In all honesty, Melinda felt proud of finally getting through to them on the seriousness of the matter. Although she appreciated them trying to cheer her up and distract her, talking about it felt like the thing she truly needed at that moment.

“But he didn’t get you,” Will cut through the silence. “And that’s what matters. That you’re safe and alive. And I know the newspaper will work hard to keep it that way. Even tactless Sullivan. He doesn’t show it, but he cares about us.”

“He actually has a point,” Kevin said, eyes back on his phone. “Sullivan just sucks at showing other emotions other than uncaffeinated-angry.”

“Regardless,” Beatriz jumped in, “in any case, we’re here for you. And if you don’t feel safe in your apartment, you know abuela has no problem with you staying over.”

“Thanks, Bea,” Melinda said.

“So how’s this,” Kevin said, now raising his phone, “in case anyone of us gets fired, or murdered by a harassing superhero, we’ll take a selfie to remember the good times. Before everything turns to shit.”

“Oh yeah, that way we have a picture to mark exes on our faces as we die one by one” Will deadpanned.

“Psh, we’d all be dead in a horror movie,” Beatriz stated, waving a hand.

“Guys, I’m trynna make a cute moment, don’t ruin it for me.”

“Fine,” the reporter rolled his eyes good naturedly.

Without needing anymore prompting, the group moved their chairs and huddled together in the hopes of fitting in the frame. Kevin extended his arm, with the front camera of his phone activated for a selfie.

After taking the photo and replacing their seats, Kevin spoke up.

“By the way, the cashier’s name is Katie—”

“Oh my God, stop!”

---

The sun had almost completely set when Melinda walked by the sidewalk leading to her apartment building. It had been a long and exhausting day, despite spending most of it in the office. She hadn’t realized how emotionally draining being the targeted reporter could be.

But she chose this path. And she was sticking to it, as long as she had the support of her boss and the company.

She started going up the steps to the front door of the building, when she couldn’t help but feel watched. Melinda stopped mid-step. Her arms swung as she turned on her heels, hand holding tight to the pepper spray on her keychain. Her eyes shifted from side to side, looking for whatever was giving her that gut feeling.

Yet she saw nothing. Slowly, she lowered her arms back to the sides, and started back to the entrance of the building. She carefully started unlocking the door.

SMACK

Melinda’s face slammed against the iron door, and a hand pressed against the back of her neck kept her pressed to it. She tried pushing back, but whoever was attacking grabbed her flailing hands and held them tight.

“You’re Melinda Martínez, aren’t you?” a voice whispered into her ear, sending a chill down her spine.

“Who wants to know?” she dared quip.

There was a pause. Ever so slowly, Melinda’s feet started leaving the ground, yet she was not being pushed up from her neck. In fact, she felt more like she was…

Floating.

Teleman.

“I guess you could say I’m somewhat of a critic of your work.”

“H-Hey, listen man,” Melinda started desperately, “I was just doing my job.”

“Isn’t your job reporting on both sides?”

“You’re a hard source to find!” she pleaded. “I tried, really. But even with your version, I still had to write what was published. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to take you down or anything, it’s just my job.”

“Your job sounds very… convenient for me.”

Melinda frowned. Was he being sarcastic? Was he threatening her? Was he going to kill her? Or worse…

“I was wondering how long it would take for the information to get out,” he continued, the air of his breath threatening her neck. “It took, what, five months?”

“Victims of sexual assault are not usually very talkative when they know the other person has more power,” Melinda dared shoot back.

“You people have the strangest rules. Perhaps next time I should be a little more explicit.”

“We people?” Melinda breathed. “What the hell are you even talking about? You sound like…” she swallowed. “Like you wanted to get caught.”

“My business is none of yours,” Teleman hissed. “But I have to say, I’m starting to enjoy some of the perks of this job.”

“I thought you were a superhero. One of the good guys,” she said quietly.

“I am,” he whispered back. “Just like one of those who likes to prance around using names of old Greek gods.”

With those last words, Melinda was suddenly dropped to the ground. The jolt of it made her stumble to her side and collapse against the wall. She turned just in time to see a blur of blue shoot up into the sky.

With her heart still running at a hundred miles, Melinda unlocked the door and ran all the way up the stairs to the third floor. Once in front of her apartment, she hastened to unlock it, almost dropping her keys.

After opening it, Melinda jumped into her living room and closed both locks on her door. At last, she slammed her back to it, panting from the run.

Melinda clapped a hand on her mouth, just as tears started spilling out. She knew being a journalist had the potential to be dangerous. She had heard stories of reporters disappearing in Central America and seen videos of others being decapitated by terrorists on the other side of the world. But in a city, the job dangers were reduced to rude politicians and snobby CEOs.

This was not supposed to happen to her. Much less by someone who was supposed to protect them. Covering superheroes was supposed to be fun, every journalist’s dream.

And yet, as she slid to the ground silently sobbing, speaking the truth on superheroes was starting to feel more like a nightmare.

[startwreck]

WizardWorld Chicago 2018

“I’ll never fly to a con.”

That was my self-imposed rule. See, I live in the Northeast US, so there are lots of major cities within driving/busing distance, and thus lots of cons, and other fandom-adjacent events, happen within a reasonable distance of me. (I realize this is a privilege, and one I’m quite grateful for.) Anyway, when I got into the X-Files fandom a couple of years ago, I was interested in meeting Phile Phriends / Tumblr Pals in real life, and in participating in fandom or fandom-adjacent events, which I have done (and have spent money on), but I told myself that there was no need to ever fly anywhere just for a con: the cost of airfare is too much of an investment, the talent’s schedules can change, and besides, there are a disproportionate amount of options that I don’t have to make the investment to fly to. So I thought.

When DD & GA were announced for WizardWorld Chicago, I had already committed to plans for the con weekend. I was a little bummed, but thought that it was probably for the best that I already had plans, because otherwise, I would have been very tempted to fly to it. Then, just a few weeks prior to the con, after hanging up the phone call in which my last weekend in August plans were postponed, I saw a note from Kristin @kateyes224 alluding to her intention to go to the con. She informed me that @sunflowerseedsandscience, who I had been hoping to meet earlier in the summer, would also be flying in for the occasion. I took this influx of information as a sign that I should get myself to Chicago for that weekend. I justified the cost by using airline and hotel points to subside the expense. I was going to fly to a con. The next few weeks were a whirlwind of madness at work, so I was very grateful to have the aforementioned pals, plus Carrie @carrie11 who would be joining us for her first con, in my pocket to countdown to the weekend with.

I flew to Chicago on the morning Friday, August 24, laughing internally at the absurdity of the situation all the way. I made my way to Rosemont, my eyes going wide when I caught my first glimpse of the convention center, and settled myself into the hotel room before heading downtown on the train to meet Carrie. There was a food truck festival right by the L station that I emerged from, and I realized that all I had consumed only an iced coffee so far in the day, so I remedied that. Carrie was nice enough to indulge in my desire to be a tourist, since I hadn’t been to Chicago proper in years. I had never made it to the Willis Sears Tower, so we did that, and she took some fun pics of Puppet Mulder. I think this is my fav:

We then did a bit of walking -- Grant Park, Lake Shore Drive path, Millenium Park, and the Chicago River, before the rest of the crew arrived and it was finally pizza time! Soon after Carrie and I secured a table at Giordano’s, Kristin, @sunflowerseedsandscience, and Amanda @all-these-ghosts arrived. I greeted them on the patio and had an epic reunion hug with Kristin in which we made a total scene and squeezed each other so tight while squealing that I choked on some of her hair. The five us then had a wonderful dinner that I don’t remember much about except that the pizza was amazing, the company was even better, and I’m pretty sure I was just still in awe that this was all happening. After dinner, we went to grab drinks down the street. There was Shiner Bock on the menu, so Puppet Mulder joined us and confused many of the staff. Amanda especially was tickled by Puppet Mulder, while I was fangirling over her (she wrote Then The Bomb, people!!!) Truly, the con could have been cancelled and the trip still would have been worth it for just hanging out with this crew:

Saturday morning, Kristin procured Starbucks and we all readied ourselves to be presentable for photo ops in the late morning. We met Carrie, Clarice @contrivedcoincidences6, and @albanyparkavenue in the lobby and headed to the convention center. The security line coming from the hotels was long but moved fast. At this point, I had only pre-purchased a dual photo op (and Saturday ticket) but while we were in line I accidentally-but-it-was-bound-to-happen-anyway purchased GA & DD autographs on the ticketing app on my phone. Oops! Once we got in and procured our wristbands, it was already time for those of us with dual photo ops to get in line, so we did. In the midst of a lot of line waiting, Kristin perfected Puppet Mulder’s hair (we decided on Season 4 / Paper Hearts classic floops aka Backstreet Bangs). Puppet Mulder also made friends with a tiny Supergirl, which Carrie captured in a couple pics, and my day was made. Soon, it was go time. I was to go first so that Kristin could do last looks on Puppet Mulder’s hair immediately before the photo. As we approached the final holding area, I situated Puppet Mulder on my right arm and was prepared to pose him in an arms-spread position using the armrods in my left hand (we had been practicing in line.) When it was my turn, I approached, and I was told by those in line behind me that Gillian gave an exasperated “Ohhhhhhhhh boy” while I announced “Puppet Mulder is here!” in an attempt to preemptively stave off any questions about who he was and prevent myself from having to make any awkward hand gestures like I did in Montreal. As we were getting in position I asked, “Can he get in between you? I don’t know that I want to be in it” since I didn’t really care about my face being in it, but also didn’t want to crouch down without warning and confuse everyone. But David insisted, “Ah, no, you gotta be in it!” to which I conceded “I do? Ok.” and stayed put. With that, the photo was taken, I said thanks, and moved out of the way. As the rest of the crew emerged from the Tunnel of Love Anxiety, we went around the corner to retrieve our photos, and I think everyone in the group was pleased with the results! I was pleasantly surprised by mine (even if Gillian is doing her nervous hands.)

I even bought a photo protector sheet after being called out by DD in Montreal for not treating our photo with the utmost respect and bending it a bit. After this ordeal, we realized that we needed drinks and to regroup, so we acquired alcohol (beer is a reasonable lunch, right?) and found a path of floor outside the main hall to make our own. We were joined by some more pals including @dahlia-ships, @observeroftheuniverse, and @perplexistan.

After this recovery period, it was time for Gillian’s autograph session. I had the pleasure of being behind Natalie for this and got to listen to Natalie give the most eloquent, heartfelt litany of thanks to one of her favs. Also, somehow margaritas came up and Natalie and I were like “Yesss we just drank before this!” so clearly my 20 seconds were much less profound, but here’s the rough transcript after that:

Me: Thanks for putting up with us. GA: This was one of my favorite photos of the day. Me: Aww, really?! GA: Yeah, it’s between this one and maybe one other. Me: Oh, what was that? GA: Someone had an alien. Me: Oh yeah, the big blow up thing? [Had spotted this in front of us in the photo op line.] GA: Yeah. Me: *nods* Thanks!

When I emerged from her booth and realized she inscribed “My favorite photo of the day” on the photo, I was both heart-eyed and in awe. See, I am a terrible multi-tasker and thus continually in awe of Gillian’s ability to have a conversation while simultaneously making a non-robotic inscription. Like, yeah, she’s pretty good at acting and contributes to humanitarian causes, but I’d like to give her an award for speaking and writing at the same time. Was this talent born from some crazy avant-garde theatre warm-up? Is this some kind of Mom superpower? Really what I’m asking is: Is there hope for me yet to learn this skill?

Anyway, after the crew got their Gillian autographs, some more drinks were procured, and then we decided to go wait in line for the panel (which was actually a solid 9 minute walk from the main hall.) At this point, I started bothering Kristin to come get a DD autograph with me before the panel, because I’m a bad influence like that. She was unprepared with what she would have him sign though, so we started brainstorming, and landed on possibly The X-Files: Earth Children Are Weird picture book that I had brought a copy of so that Kristin could do a dramatic reading. Since that was back in the hotel room, a few of us darted back to grab it (and to grab our leftover deep dish, which my growling stomach was very grateful for.) We brought the remaining pizza to the line-sitters, and at around 4pm, I successfully convinced Kristin to come grab a DD autograph with me. Shayla @thatredhead00 joined us and her tale of a DD interaction earlier in the day made me howl with laughter. We made friends with a couple of local guys in line, and I connected with a woman I recognized from a previous event, which was funny. Anyway, DD made it back from his afternoon break, the signing session began, and soon enough, Kristin went first with the picture book, and I globbed on to her convo. Here’s the rough transcript:

DD: [signing on the title page] What am I signing? K: The X-Files picture book! DD: [Turns to the front cover] Aww, it’s cute! [Genuinely, high-pitched] DD: What happens in it? K: They go camping in the woods. Me: And Scully’s parents are aliens. Me: Whoops, I gave away the twist ending. DD: Yeah, you ruined it for me. Me: Yeah, it was gonna take you so long to read… Me: Thanks so much!

For those keeping score at home, this brings my record of accidentally-but-lovingly making fun of DD to his face at con autograph sessions to an even 2-0. Interestingly enough, I’ve been to two of his book signings and complimented him (well, his writing) at both of those. Not sure what gives.

Anyway, we decided that we needed more drinks before the panel so grabbed those and then made the journey back to where that was. Our pals were already seated, and the question line had already started forming, so Kristin and Shayla hopped in that while I took a seat with the crew. The panel was perfectly fine in person. Per usual, a few cringey questions (thanks Natalie for letting me squeeze your arm through these), but also a few great questions and responses. Kristin got to ask her question (and, as predicted, Gillian couldn’t remember specifics, and the morgue scene in “Ghouli” was David’s answer, but it was still nice to hear it.) Other highlights included a thoughtful question and response from Gillian on how the show might have been different if written from a more feminist perspective. Also, there was a fleeting moment when I thought the tell-all book was going to be spoiled, plus the infamous “Who tops?” question. All in all, not bad at all, though this was the first panel I’ve attended with just the two of them, so I admittedly don’t have any equal comparison points. Soon enough, it was over, and it was time to drink (more!) with Philes. All of the aforementioned crew from the day joined, plus Amanda, @datanullyx, @redscully, @xfilesgeekery, and @anicepieceofash.  We started in the hotel bar but, in the interest of cost savings, eventually procured liquor and ordered (more) pizza and moved to our hotel room. There were lots of hugs and snuggles, lots of loudly wondering “What is my life?”, platonic handholding, one human/puppet makeout session, an impressive demonstration of Kristin’s ability to sleep through anything, and some amazing cheesecake brownies . As the evening got late, Puppet Mulder even changed into his red Speedo (and put on his to-scale legs.) Needless to say, it was a night both wonderful and strange. Here’s some of the crew at the after-after party:

I feel so lucky to have gotten to spend time with everyone I met or re-met this weekend, and if I start calling out the specifics of why you’re all so great, I’ll make myself cry, so I’m going to stop here. If you’ve read all of this rambling (whether you were present or not), I’m very impressed. Thanks to everyone who shared in this weekend with me from both near and far, and thanks to Gillian and David for giving us an excuse to meetup.

I said I’d never fly to a con, but I’m so glad I did.

Author's note: I always hate writing these because a) it means it’s over, and b) I can never fully capture the awesomeness that is meeting up with fandom friends. Also, I have a shit memory, but jotted down notes about stuff right after it happened on Saturday, so hopefully I’m not misconstruing anything too terribly. If you were present, feel free to correct me!

[say-alittleprayer]

From the beginning to the end

I’ve always been an average student. Yet, in God’s kindness, I’ve been able to get into otherwise unlikely academic courses, not once but twice.

ONE:

My score for O Levels was average. It wasn’t good enough for a diploma in Psychology & Community Services at Polytechnic; I was a point short. But still, God provided and I was able to enter it based on other merits. Side note: I actually went into Psychology with an interest in Speech Therapy. 

I went through the effort to submit an application, prepared and went for an interview only to forgo the opportunity and instead enrolled myself into Junior College. I remember deciding not to go ahead with it mainly because it was the ‘risky’ option. Junior College was what seemed to be a more traditional option – an option that would increase one’s chances of entering university.

Almost three months into Junior College, I changed my mind. I realised how it was not going to work out for me; If I had stayed any longer, I am almost certain that I would have failed in my first year. My parents were extremely supportive of my decision and so, we rang up the Polytechnic. They told me that there weren’t any spots left but they were willing to make an exception because they had previously offered me a spot.  

TWO:

My score/GPA for my diploma was average. It wasn’t good enough for the more prestigious local universities. Even if it was, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue with Psychology. I was also considering Social Work and Nursing at that time.

I started knowing more about therapy related jobs during my diploma internship. And I was a lot more interested in what the therapists were doing. I learned about Occupational Therapy and a dear sister-in-christ made arrangements for me to do an observational attachment.

I looked it up and thought maybe but the chances were quite low. There was a diploma course available but it was only for those who went to Junior College and who had completed their A levels. There was no degree available at that time and so, my only option was to study Occupational Therapy overseas. But there was no way my parents could afford the hefty insane marked up international student costs.

And that’s how the idea of applying for a scholarship came about. Never in my life did I see myself as a scholar. As I’ve said earlier, I’ve always been an average student. But there were no alternatives except to work and save up in order to fund myself, which would take many years. The requirements of the scholarship included a diploma with merit or equivalent. I tried for the scholarship with my average GPA; I didn’t obtain a diploma with merit.

In God’s kindness, I was offered the interview. An admin staff then sent out a mass email to all the interviewees asking for a copy of our academic transcripts and other relevant documents. Lo and behold, I clicked reply to all and sent everyone all my important documents. *slow clap* A kind acquaintance who studied in the same Polytechnic replied to my email and told me about this embarrassing mistake. Oh, can you imagine the horror.

On the day of my interview, I found out that I was the last one for the day. Everyone before me went in for what seems to be a really long time. The girl before me went in and some time had passed. I needed to use the bathroom and I thought there’ll be time for that but just as I was about done, one of the staff came in and told me it was my turn. What timing! I washed my hands and wanted to wipe them off with paper towels but there was none. And then I remember thinking to myself that the hand dryer would take too long. And also, it would seem unprofessional to walk in with hand prints on my dress. So, I decided not to dry my hands and not shake hands with those on the panel. Side note: Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure they would have been understanding if I took a little longer. I think I was just in a panic mode at that time.

During the interview, everything seemed to go smoothly until one of the interviewers stopped me midway and said something along the lines of: “I think I have to stop you there. We have to respect the differences between Physiotherapy and Occupational Therapy.” Yet another horror.

After the interview, I walked out and the staff who called me in said: “wow, that was quick”. My interview only took at most 15 minutes. I went home and I think I cried telling my family what happened – the interview was a traumatizing experience. Side note: Now that I think about it, maybe the interview only took 15 minutes because I was the last person for the day.

The next morning, I received a call and yes, God has once again showed me his loving kindness. Yes, I was shocked. Yes, I squealed a little. Yes, I cried happy tears :’) but only after the phone call ended. I was holding back during the phone call; I pretended to be composed when in fact, all I was thinking was: How can this be true? Is this real? Side note: Now that I think about it, why did I pretend when it was indeed a happy news to be celebrated.

So yes, a year after the happy news, I packed my luggage and started my four year journey in Perth.

FOUR YEARS:

Four years on, it’s time I pack my bags and return to my island home that is Singapore. It has been an incredible four years and I’ve grown to love Perth more and more and very much. I am eternally grateful for the blessed opportunity to study overseas. I definitely learned more than what I thought I came for.

I’ve always been quite lukewarm with my relationship with God. It’s there but not quite - you could classify it as non-existent before I moved to Perth. My god was more of a feeling. Yet, the true and living God was gracious and in His kindness, I’ve been enjoying huge and wonderful privileges. There were challenges and lessons learned but my journey from the beginning to the end has mostly been smooth sailing.

From an older post I wrote (and I decided to put it here because still relevant):

I chose to study in Perth partly because it is quiet and peaceful city, which I thought I could maybe make good use of to draw closer to God. However, some part of me also felt that I might drift away from Him because … lazy… lazy to find a church… lazy to go to church… (and got no parents hehe) (add on: I was thinking if I have been going to church only because my parents were and maybe it was just part of my routine). But I am so thankful I found UCI (UniChurch International). It didn’t take me long to settle down in the church, where I really feel encouraged to keep growing and learning His word. I also feel very encouraged by the love and care the brothers and sisters have for one another, and I have learned so much from everyone.

All of these, to Him I owe. And so, I pray that I will never forget but instead, always remember in my heart who God is – how great and holy is he, how loving, gracious and kind is he. I pray that I will always remember all that he has done for me – all that was mentioned before and more importantly, that God sent his Son, Jesus Christ, into the world who died in our place, took our punishment and brought forgiveness. Thank God that Jesus did not stay dead. God raised Jesus to life again as the ruler of the world. Jesus has conquered death, now gives new life and will return to judge.

Oh how great it is to have such an awesome God! Thank God for how He has revealed himself to me through his Son and his precious word.

Four years on, it is difficult to say goodbye to what has been one of my greatest experience by far. But I thank God for all these and to Him be the glory. 

I have also been extremely blessed by all the wonderful people I’ve met throughout my four years in Perth. Thank you to all my dear friends, classmates, brothers and sisters in Christ xx

[linguisticdiscrimination-blog]

Original Video

This is an original video discussing linguistic discrimination. Below is a transcript of the video. Follow the link for the full video.

https://vimeo.com/304064051

Kiernan: Hello, this is my friend Aliyah. She is a friend of mine with a varied, multi-cultural background so I thought it would be interesting and topical for this project to interview her on her experience with linguistics, discrimination and just kind of get some first-hand experience with the subject matter of my presentation. So, if you don’t mind what is your cultural background?

Aliyah: Uhm, my mother is Jamaican, and my dad is African American, but I grew up around most of my family, well my Jamaican family so I would say I grew up Jamaican-American, but I have definitely had traditional black American influences throughout my whole life.

K: Interesting, interesting and would you say you have ever experienced linguistic discrimination, which would be uh discriminating against someone for the way they speak, maybe an accent or a speech impairment anything like that. Would you say you have experienced that firsthand?

A: Firsthand, yeah I’ve definitely had, well the one thing that sticks out most in my mind is that I have had some cousins from my dad’s side of the family that I really had never met before, I was meeting them for the first time deep in Detroit and they were commenting on the way that I talk and this one girl she really was asking me to like teach her how to sound so white, like she thought it was crazy that I learned to speak so white proficiently and she really wanted me to teach her so that, I guess she had been facing some discrimination in some way or she felt that the way that she spoke was limiting her and that’s kind of crazy

K: So, because you spoke outside of the traditional African American Vernacular English you were viewed as different in the African American society.

A: Definitely even with my own close friends. Like other black girls generally sometimes don’t even view me as black as them because I don’t sound like them, I don’t talk like them. Even if they don’t know anything about my Jamaican heritage it still happens.

K: So, do other members of your family, perhaps on the Jamaican side, experience discrimination, perhaps due to accented speech?

A: Absolutely, my grandmother goes out of her way if we are at the store or she is on the phone she goes out of the way to make sure her accent is almost gone if she can help it and it is still something she actively works on every time she talks and she has been living in this country for almost thirty years now and its still something she makes a conscious and deliberate effort to do is to curb her accent for fear of judgement and not being taken seriously, not being taken, just not being treated like another woman in America

K: Like an American

A: Yeah! Not being treated like an American when she really tries and she has to go out of her way to remember and remind herself that this is not her country but she wants to be here but she makes a conscious effort to curb her accent so that people will continue to talk to her if they cant understand her, so they don’t just hang up on her or walk away because she sounds different which has happened before.

K: As a result of your cultural background would you say you judge others based on the way they speak, or their, be it an accent or a speech impairment?

A: No, the way that you speak is just something that is a byproduct of where you are and the people that you were around when you were just learning to talk. I don’t think that’s anything that’s used as a basis to truly figure out who someone is or use to judge them on anything. Its just a coincidence of who was around them when they were learning to talk.

K: Finally how would you say your experience as a umm multicultural resident of the united states has shaped your opinion on accent reduction which is when someone who speaks with an accent or speaks outside of the standard dialect umm seeks professional help to reduce their accent essentially and communicate in a way that more closely resembles the standard dialect, does it ever, do you ever feel your opinion for them, for someone who is a nontraditional American English speaker, would it be influenced if you found out they tried to reduce their accent?

A: Yeah as long, I feel like accent reduction can be a very good thing, an option, a positive option to avoid facing linguistic discrimination, but if its only done out of pressure, if it’s the only way to be happy in this country I don’t think people should be pressured to do it, but if its genuine I think it can also be a positive option

K: So, it more depends on their reasoning for choosing it as a treatment option. It can be positive or negative just depending on, you know, why they choose to do it

A: And the circumstances around what’s pushing it because it should be their own choice bottom line regardless of what choice it should be their choice and not external pressure

K: Thank you for your time, your interview was very enlightening

A: You’re welcome, thank you for having me!

[gorderos-blog]

Pay to Not Go to College!

    Yes, you read that title right! For a small combined fee of roughly $12,900, you can receive a PhD in your desired field of study with supporting documentation, a thesis you didn't have to write yourself, traditional graduation attire, legal notarization, and a half dozen lies regarding your accomplishments within your university! You even get to pick your own grade! Who knew the answer to our higher education needs was a website that only charges a nominal fee for you to not have to waste those precious years of your life AND not land your dream job afterward?     I've been putting this coverage off for way too long. One day at work, out of curiosity, I decided to search around the ol' interwebs and see if I could find a service dedicated to providing individuals with college degrees. It wasn't a hard search. There are several of these services as it turns out, but I'm going to be focusing on one today for the sake of this not dragging on any longer than necessary. I'm still learning about the dos and do nots when it comes to journalism of this nature, so in an effort not to get sued, I'm going to refrain from giving out the name of the website. Obviously I don't want to advertise this service and be responsible for innocent or curious people losing their money. I also don't want to land myself in any sort of legal trouble for name dropping and getting slapped with some sort of law suit. I will, however, be sharing screenshots where applicable, so don't you worry!     The biggest surprise without even looking at the degree ordering process is that the website is designed fairly well. It's inviting and pleasing to the eye with its mixture of blues and grays. Then we look at the text and realize that someone's trying to sucker us out of a lot of money.

    From what I hear, though, programming a website is hard and spaces between the end of a word and a comma are pretty easy mistakes to let slip through the cracks , so let's give them the benefit of the doubt.     The website has a bunch of sections on it and I intend to share the fun bits of it later, but I know what you're here for. You want your PhD in Chemistry or Biology, or maybe you need a Master's in Engineering or Dance. Don't worry, fam, I'm going to hook you up at least with a price point so you can start saving up. I'm going for the PhD in Creative Writing myself.     Unsurprisingly, the first few things it asks you for is boring information like your name, birth date, and title. Then it goes ahead and boldly asks for a scanned copy of either your government I.D./Driver's License or Passport. Then email address, blah blah blah, phone number, alright, onto the next section, and this is where the fun begins.

    As you can see, my PhD in Creative Writing will be issued to me, Mr. Blogger Dude for the year of 2018, graduated in the season of summer. I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who got me to this point. Good job, me. And look at that, only $490, how convenient! You also have the option to select if you were studying full time, part time, at a distance, online, or in a combination of those!     It's going past this point that you realize this ordering process has zero chill. Before you've even completely decided on all the additional things you want to pay for that you're probably never going to be able to use, this section comes careening up at you:

    Why yes, strange website, I would love to give you my credit card information and my billing address. I can't possibly see how this could go wrong in any way, shape, or form. I don't actually have a credit card, at least not with the kind of limit we're going to be seeing, so I suppose this is the end of my college degree journey. If only I had thousands of dollars just laying around in the bank. Darn, oh well.

    Following that is the section entitled

Transcripts & Degree Related Items

, a series of boxes you can put a check next to if you decide the item in question is something you'll want, and this is how it goes:

Academic Transcripts - $200 (Can select quantity)

Sealed Transcripts - $200 (Can select quantity)

Student Records - $200

Acceptance Letter - $120

Graduation Letter - $120

Reference Letter (Up to three) - $200/reference letter

Letter of Appreciation - $120 (Have the university lie about things you did for them)

Internship Letter from Company - $250 (Nobody follows up with these anyway, right?)

Internship Letter from University - $250

Write Your Own Thesis - $1,500 (At least you tried)

Have Someone Else Write Your Thesis - $4,500 (You did not try)

University Diploma Folder - $135

Graduation Hood - $150

Graduation Cap - $150

Graduation Gown/Robe - $550

Certified Copies of University Degree - $200 (Can select quantity)

Lawyer Certification and Legalization - $450

Government Apostille - $800 (I had to look up what that meant, this is what I found: "Apostilles authenticate the seals and signatures of officials on public documents such as birth certificates, court orders, or any other document issued by a public authority so that they can be recognized in foreign countries that are members of the 1961 Hague Convention Treaty.")

Embassy Legalization - $2050 (Looked this one up as well: "Embassy / Consulate Legalization. ... Documents certified by the State and destined for countries who are not members of the Hague Apostille Convention require State certification, U.S. Department of State certification, and Embassy or Consulate legalization.")

Student I.D. Card - $250 (I had to look... just kidding)

University Alumni Card - $250

University Library Card - $250

Student Union Card/Student Association Card

    After we've picked out all of the things we need, the last thing we have to do is pick our shipping options. Standard shipping is free and usually ships within five business days, but I'm impatient and can't afford to wait that long. I mean, I am buying a fake degree online rather than earning a real one... online. Or on a campus, but who does that anymore? Express shipping it is! It's only an additional $135 on top of the ten grand, nothing too outrageous. As for our shipping method, we have two choices: Express Air Mail, or DHL/FedEx for ground. Planes can crash and burn and lose all of my documentation, so I think I'll play it safe and go FedEx for only $130. Express Air Mail is a little cheaper at $95, but an extra $35 for peace of mind never hurt anybody.

    The website then proceeds to ask how we heard about them. It was pretty easy for me: Google. I assume it'll be the same for you. As an aside, there's also an option for Yahoo for the one person out there still using it. Next we input any special instructions we may have.

      I probably should have added please, but this is a business transaction after all.     Then we subsequently fuck ourselves over by not reading the terms of service before accepting them, make sure our total is correct, and submit our order!

     Looks right to me.

    I love that you can adjust the amount with the small arrows beside the total amount. I left them a tip.     It's at this point that I would submit the order, wait about a week, and show the finished product. Shocking as it may seem, though, I do not have $12,905 to give them. Such a tease, I know. Now I could save myself $3,000 by writing my own thesis, but we mustn't forget that I'm a busy adult man who cannot spare the time to college, so I definitely wouldn't have the time to write a brilliant thesis. One day I'll have a money. One day.     Something that should be noted is that there is no indication on the website as to which university will be giving you your degree, but their section on Full Privacy and Satisfaction serves to definitively quell those voices in your mind that want to call BS.     "When you choose a bachelor degree  from us and you make the payment, you will receive an accredited degree from a reputable university. The degrees are legal and verifiable; nobody will know our little secret that you obtained your degree online.     We do not disclose information about yourself to third parties and we keep private the name of the universities from which we confer degrees.     You will not know the name of the university until you receive the degree. We believe confidentiality is essential in our business and we encourage you to keep it secret that you obtained the degree online in exchange of a fee.     When you choose  degree online course we accept payments and shipment from all over the world, because we are affiliated with universities in every country.     We have bachelor degree online course waiting for you to attend them. You will be enrolled in the online program and you will get the degree in a week from the moment you made the order. We are strict with deadlines and we fulfill all your requirements.     We believe that the satisfaction of the clients is essential in our business and this is why we want to offer you joy so you will come back for more.       If you choose a degree  course from us you will get many job offers and promotions, so you will be happy you have chosen us."     Peace of mind and assurance are wonderful things.     There are a few other interesting tidbits on the website such as generic images of individuals of Asian descent posing in awkward ways, a live chat functionality that I may play with in my own spare time, degree options from multiple contents such as North America, South America, Africa, Asia, Eastern Europe, Western Europe, and my personal favorite, the Middle East. There's a coaching section of how to find a job after you've received your degree that is a rehash of every search you've ever done on how to do well in an interview.     "You have to tell the interviewer about your degrees, knowledge, skills, and vast experience in the field. You should convince the employer that your knowledge and experience will benefit the company and that you have solutions for the existing problems of the company in order to help the company achieve its goals.     Choose the domains of activity at which you are the best and to impress the employers with your expertise, skills and knowledge in their field of activity.     Companies have job openings because they have a hole in the functioning of their business and you have to fill the hole. You should be the perfect solution to their needs and you should be able to sell your skills during the interview in order to persuade them you will find solutions to the problems of the company. The best way to find a job is to prove that you have a degree from an accredited university because employers look for persons with plenty of knowledge in their field of activity.     Use nonverbal communication during interviews. Use your emotional intelligence in order to pass over emotions and use your body language to show you are attentive, confident and competent for the job. You should maintain eye contact and smile often. A sincere smile makes the interviewer believe that you are comfortable and that you are a sociable and friendly person.  Be communicative during interviews if you want to get the attention of the interviewers and persuade him or her to offer you the job.     Create a good CV and resume speaking about the experience, education, skills and certifications you have. You should write a resume in which to write about what recommends you for the job. You should write a story about yourself that proves your skills and knowledge in the field of activity of the company.     Prove passion for the field of activity in which you want to work. Prove that you have a specific interest in the company and a passion in what you do. .     Consider an interview as a sales presentation in which you have to present your strengths, hide your weaknesses in order to attract the interviewer and get the job."     It's actually so nice they had to say it twice in another area of the website, and there's this little gem that DEFINITELY puts any apprehensions, hesitations, or mental protestations to rest!

   I, for one, am very glad that no one shall be able to see my payment information, as they will face consequences under provision of law. What law? Law. THE law. You can learn all about it once you obtain your own law degree from the website.       I suppose I should throw in a quick disclaimer here for the two people who may be willing to go out and try this for themselves: Don't. College degrees are serious business, and I'm pretty sure this is illegal in some way, shape, or form. Don't go around giving shady websites your credit card information, and look into legitimate options when it comes to pursuing a higher education.     All of that being said, thank you for taking this journey with me. It had its ups and downs, but I am definitely excited to be Dr. Mr. Blogger Dude, Creative Writing expert.     Thank you.

[uncloseted]

i’ve had a very toxic home life since i was a kid. my goal is to move out for college, seven hours away. i’m trying to get a job and save a couple thousand and use my financial aid to cover the schooling costs and my savings for apartment costs. i’m going to be eighteen by the time i move. i’m experiencing a lot of stress and depressive episodes because i’m scared i won’t accomplish this. its been hard trying to get a job, i have a interviews but no luck. i don’t even know if i get a job in time

if i’ll get enough hours to save what i need or if it’ll be too close to my move out date to earn enough money. i’m also realizing a lot of places probably would want to meet me in person before renting me a room, and i can’t really do that if i’m seven hours away. and what if they don’t want to rent to an 18 year old with no renting experience? or if my credit isn’t good enough since i’m going. and considering my current job luck, how long will it take me to get a job over there? what if i get there and i can’t get a job in time and i have to go back home? what if the job i get doesn’t even pay enough for me to buy groceries? the area i want to move has rent for very cheap, as low as 266 for a room. anywhere else around me in california really isn’t cheap enough, that’s why i’m hoping to move there. i just feel like i won’t be well prepared enough to move there, and it scares me a lot. the whole thing that’s been giving me hope throughout my life is knowing i’d move out at 18, but its

looking worse everyday. i don’t think i’m going to be able to move when i want, and i don’t know how to cope with the fact that i’ll be staying for two more years with my toxic family. i can try moving in with my older sister, but i don’t know if she has room or even wants me there. my parents constant yell and fight, my father verbally abuses me, my mom barely makes enough to scrape by. i hate my hometown, there’s nothing to do and it’s full of bad memories for me. all of my friends are

moving for college. i’ll have no one left to talk to or hang out with. my family doesn’t support me going to college, they’ll do anything they possibly can to make sure i fail. they don’t support me financially. i don’t even leave my room because i simply can’t be around them. and the workload for college will be even more than high school, and i don’t know how i’ll study when it’s always loud commotion constantly. i was hoping for a fresh start and maybe going into therapy but i don’t think

First of all, apologizes that this message is (I think) incomplete.  Tumblr is the worst and it eats things, and that will never stop making me angry.

To your message, it does sound like moving out for college is a good idea if you can manage it.  I would keep interviewing as much as you can, as well as looking at online jobs (if you haven’t already. You might look at some transcriptions websites or doing remote customer service) and jobs that hire pretty much everyone (gig economy jobs like Postmates, UberEats, Doordash, etc). They may not be the best jobs, but they’re a relatively easy way to make some money while you’re looking for a more permanent or full time gig. The good news about online and gig economy jobs is that you can do them from wherever, and so once you’ve moved you’ll still have the opportunity to make some sort of income.  I would also look on your school’s campus to see if they have any jobs once you move- typically those go to students, so you’re likely to have a better shot.  I would also look to see if you’re eligible for any scholarships, grants, or other financial aid that will help you cover living expenses.

As far as apartments go, I would look for apartments that are near your school.  Most apartments near colleges understand the situation new students are in, and they’re more likely to be willing to rent to you without meeting you in person.  A phone call or Skype can also go a long way in helping people get to know you before they agree to rent to you.  I would also talk to your sister about moving in with her.  At worst she’ll say no, she doesn’t have any room, and you’ll be back where you started, but I think that’s a really good stopgap measure until you can find a more permanent solution.

The last thing I want to touch on is therapy.  A lot of people think it’s not accessible to them, but that’s not always the case.  Assuming your high school doesn’t have a counsellor and that your college doesn’t provide mental health services (which a lot do! So if those options are available to you, try them out), some ways to get access to low-cost or free mental healthcare are: 1) see if/what your insurance will cover, 2) try a training clinic (usually near a college or university), 3) try a community mental health center, 4) attend support groups, 5) look for therapists that will do discounted rates or sliding-scale rate. If you’re still in school, there should be an on-campus counselor who can help you.  Free talk therapy websites, while not typically staffed by actual therapists, can also help you to express your feelings and let go of some of that weight you carry around.  There are also some online therapists who you can talk to who typically charge less than in-person therapists.  NAMI and Mental Health America (MHA) can also help to put you in touch with low-cost therapists in your area, and so can Open Path.  To me, it sounds really important that you have some sort of support while going through this transition from high school to college, and a therapist is a great person to have on your side.  They can help you navigate moving, finances, getting used to the amount of coursework that college requires, and all sorts of other things. Especially since your home life is toxic, I think it’s important to process that with a trained professional.

If therapy really isn’t an option for you, I would suggest trying some self-therapy methods.  Meditation can be really helpful for managing stress and anxiety- if you have a smartphone, apps like Calm and Headspace are really good ways to begin.  I would also suggest creating a sensory self-soothing kit for when you’re upset or overwhelmed.  Lastly, there are a ton of therapy worksheets that are used professionally and that are free on the internet.  CBT worksheets are the most common, but there are also lots of other options that you can try out.  See if you can find one that resonates with you and that you can stick with.

The transition from high school to college is never easy, even in the best of circumstances, and it sounds like you’re doing a great job of handling it.  I know it’s stressful now, but you’ll figure it out.