#or youre not writing till february
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soleillunne · 10 days ago
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if you listen closely you can hear me screaming
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madamechrissy · 5 months ago
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Kofi link (if you feel generous & wanna buy me a ☕️)
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Jujutsu Kaisen (it's all explicit, smut w/plot, heads up)
ꔫ Gojo x Reader-Time after Time- Finished- Wc: 103k- (Ao3 link) CEO Gojo/ lead assistant- cute/fun smut (first jjk fanfic I madeee)
Take Me Home Tonight - Finished-Wc: 136k- law professor Gojo/x law student (A03 Link) witty/banter, law setting-smut
Fractured Desires - Finished- explicit- wc 95k (angsty/ toxic/smutfest) Ao3 link (Starts off as Sugu/reader- Extremely explicit-yandere asf)
Silent Serenades - Ongoing- wc 137k - Angsty arranged marriage AU, 1800s-explicit- cruel Duke Gojo- AO3 Link
Healing Hearts - new--Dr. Gojo/intern- ongoing- Hospital setting/witty/light angst Ao3 Link- ongoing- 28k
Gojo long oneshots here- Masterlist - Drabbles/ short oneshots : Masterlist
ꔫ Nanami x Reader- But it's Better if You Do- (Ao3) Finished- Wc 92k- Masterlist- Sweet, smutty-daddy nanami-fluffy
Oneshots/Drabbles here: Masterlist
ꔫ Toji x Reader Dirty Little Secret -(Ao3) Finished- Wc: 86k - (Masterlist) Smutty ASF, freaky, age gap
She a shy girl, but she a freak deep down- wc 6.5k funny crack smut
Smut drabbles: here & here
ꔫ Geto x Reader- Up in the Air: Finished- Wc: 103k - Masterlist -hurt/comfort, sweet and smutty
Oneshots/Drabbles here: Masterlist
ꔫ Sukuna x Reader - Cursed Promises - ongoing- 16k words- arranged marriage AU- true form Sukuna smutty and sweet- new WIP Ao3
Oneshot- Baptise in Your Thighs Till it Hurts -pwp-filthy smut w/Gojo too- 5k
Smut drabbles: here
ꔫ Choso x Reader-Keep this Lowkey- ongoing- friends w/benefits - angsty/sweet- smut- 40k A03
Smut Drabbles: here
ꔫ Satosugu x Reader- smut oneshots- Two for one - 4.6k- Risky Business- 5k Yan Gojo/ Yan Geto mini series- One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six
JJK men Multi x Reader- Here
Blog recs/faves
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About me I'm Chrissy, a girl mom, 90s bb, millenial, Aries, weeb. Obsessed with hot Anime men. I started writing in February of this year after a big break. Romantic comedy, smut with lots of plot. Also angst and darker stories (properly tagging them) I post once every two weeks to each story typically. Open to requests currently- but I may not always do them or may take time. Currently only writing JJK- open to Black Butler, AOT and maybe more. Characters I write for are - Mainly Gojo ofc lol, but also Nanami, Geto, Choso, Toji and Sukuna. Please be kind and respectful
© All works made by Madamechrissy, you may not reproduce.
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allforhee · 4 months ago
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— 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐒! (ONESHOT) | LEE HEESEUNG
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୨୧ pairing ��� secretary-general!lee heeseung x delegate!fem!reader
synopsis: decelis high's academic weapon, future valedictorian, model un prodigy especially in the crisis council, and top-notch secretary-general of the mun club, lee heeseung has it all. from earning constant "best delegate-s" left and right, no one dared to go against his stances in any debate. until a student like you transfers into decelis high. as a soon graduating senior, you were a newbie to press. but with your endless love for writing, you'd managed to steal the hearts of your peers. it was your first mun, and you didn't expect much. but when heeseung finds out about an article you've wrote about his arrogant performance in a recent committee session, he is set to strike you down.
୨୧ genre — kinda angsty but with happy ending, high school au, secgen/crisis delegate!heeseung x press delegate!reader, academic rivals to lovers, dumbasses in denial, a brief moment of rivals in public but lovers in secret, one sided rivalry
୨୧ warnings — a lot of model un terms (hope you guys can understand), cursing, hurt no comfort, heeseung highkey hates reader, reader is a bit feisty and could care less but she lowkey has parental issues, featuring all the other enhypen members, aespa's winter aka minjeong, txt's yeonjun and beomgyu, stray kids’ i.n, gidle's shuhua, and ive's wonyoung, one bed trope, forced proximity
୨୧ word count — 13.3k (not proofread, but will slowly edit/make changes to tiny minor mistakes found)
୨୧ author's note — dear readers, i'm back from a long overdue hiatus with a new layout and theme! this fic is long as HELL i didn't expect it to reach this long omg. i also changed up a couple details so it will be quite different from the teaser! i’m so sorry for the long overdue wait, senior year of high school has been so hectic, and i’ve been finally able to finish this so enjoy :) omg holy shit y’all are finally reading my full length fic i’ve been harboring since what? february?
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𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆 had it all.
the walls of his room were littered with delegate lanyards from conferences across the globe, "best delegate" certificates framed all over his house (and a couple crumpled up inside his desk to fit the space), and a collection of trophies stood in every nook and cranny.
no one at decelis high dared to go against his stance. whenever it was, whether it was a moderated caucus or unmoderated, he'd always have his country or character's placard raised high, ready to speak, or leading whatever bloc was being formed.
there was no doubt that no one had ever beat him. it was no doubt that he was decelis high's mun club's secretary-general, and those who chose to go against him either got crushed in fear or knew when to step back.
even with his "best delegate" status, he wouldn't have gone far without his best mates, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, and park sunghoon.
park jongseong or jay, most known for his cold stares in the debate room, ready to make a delegate tremble, would always chair crisis. he was decelis high's deputy secretary-general alongside heeseung. and although being heeseung's best mate, he never favored him when it came to awarding. it's just that he was naturally talented.
sim jaeyun, known for his popular slogan around the school; "jake it till you make it!", was the strongest when it came to knowing what a country or character believed in. his research skills were like a pirate on the hunt for lost treasure, he had all the facts, the data, and the proof to back up any stance. whatever heeseung needed to know, jake already had his back.
and park sunghoon. even though he was the quiet one of the bunch, his position papers never ceased to appeal to any chair. even if he wasn't as strong in speaking out during committee sessions, his fingers were his weapon. the guys would always ask him why'd he chair press and not join in the heat with them, he'd always answer with "my words are stronger than my actions." where jay would always respond with "isn't that the other way around bud?"
the four were unstoppable when it came to model un. lee heeseung was unstoppable. he was. until you came along.
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you were quiet at first. everyone just saw you as the new girl who transferred for her senior year. nobody cared. until decelis high's annual mun conference, which happened to take place a couple weeks after the first day of school.
students from all over the country gathered at decelis high once a year to join in on the fun. various councils were presented at decelis mun, from heeseung's favorite council, crisis, and multiple others like unhrc, who, unsc, disec, unicef, and your favorite, press.
without a doubt, you registered yourself for press, opting that you didn't have the guts to join any other council. you feared you'd tremble listening to another delegate question your stances and ideologies.
your parents would always encourage your writing. as a child, you loved to write little imaginary stories about your life as a princess. writing stories about the love you've seen in your parents, you were set to write a book. but when your mom passed away a few weeks before your senior year of high school, and your dad constantly traveling for work, you had resorted yourself to watching the news all summer long, spiking your interest in being a journalist, where all you had to do was report whatever was going on, spit out what had to be said, and done. you didn't need to think long and hard on what your character was supposed to do next to support the storyline, no opinions, no biases.
as you stepped into your assigned council's room, you felt a gush of wind. the nervousness had gotten to you more, seeing all the socially bright journalists with their laptops open and chatting amongst each other happily.
"hi! you're a new face! oh and you're cnn! me and you will be best buddies! bbc here!" a girl squeals, she has a bright smile and a oh-so friendly demeanor. no doubt a popular trait amongst the press council.
"minjeong! don't scare her off. we're so sorry, she sometimes comes off a bit too much to new people. i'm wonyoung, the co-chair for press." she introduces herself.
"oh, hello. i'm y/n. i just transferred to decelis this year. it's my first time at press." you smile. you lost all your socialite cheerfulness over the summer, but meeting minjeong and wonyoung felt like you've been recharged. "oh and i'm the journalist for cnn?"
the girls take a glance at your nametag, examining you, before wonyoung cuts, "first time? don't worry sweetheart, we'll tell you all about it! right hoonie?"
a tall figure walks up to the three of you, no doubt a intimidating face. "y/n right? i'm sunghoon, the chair for press." he asks.
"yes yes this is her! oh we've got to tell her all about press! first timer alert!" wonyoung beams, before entangling her hand with sunghoon's. there was no doubt that the two were a couple.
"ugh, okay you two cut it off! we're journalists, we gotta be professional!" minjeong argues, playfully slapping wonyoung's arm, causing her to let go of sunghoon's.
at first, you had no idea what you were stepping into. but when chair sunghoon welcomed you to press with his icy-blue eyes and quiet demeanor, the other journalists supporting each other when it came to writing their articles, you felt right at home.
it didn't feel like it, but two days of endless debates went on, countries arguing left and right, and articles written on the current hot topic. the tension was surely rising, and your fingers were tired.
you were glad it was all over.
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at every post-conference social, before awards were handed out, the articles the journalists from press wrote would be released to the conference for the other delegates to read. besides their usual gossip box, the articles the press wrote were always the fuel to the fire.
one article stuck up to heeseung. it read; "secretary-general heeseung's love for crisis interferes chair jongseong's chairing process, now who's really chairing crisis?"
heeseung swore to himself that he's never seen a girl like you. so quiet yet so powerful in her writing. hearing rumors that you've only just recently transferred to decelis high. even sunghoon himself was surprised to meet a talented journalist like you, a first-timer at press.
"it was her first time?" heeseung protested, "i mean- she's so quiet and reserved, if she had been doing press for years, i wouldn't be surprised. but this is her first time?!"
"what do you mean she's quiet? look at hoon, he never says a word in comses, but look at him chairing press. and i would never mind you tagging along in crisis, you always give out good insights." jay interrupts his thoughts.
heeseung complains, "i understand that, but her innocent face says nothing to what she wrote about me!"
"her articles were critical. they were precise and to the point. there was never a single weak spot in her articles. i think she's gonna make a run for my position." sunghoon defends.
"it's just one article hee, it won't affect your entire track record anyways." jake compliments, giving him a pat on the back.
heeseung believed what jake said was true. he did have an outstanding track record. "best delegate"s here and there, one silly little article wouldn't ruin his entire reputation.
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as the clock strikes seven, social night was slowly coming to a close. decelis high's third annual mun was coming to an end. all that was left was to hand out the awards.
heeseung made his secretary-general speech as usual, a couple thank you-s here and there, before he handed it over to the chairs to announce the awards.
as he was walking down the stage, he felt a couple stares from mostly the press council linger. fixing his tie, he shook it off before taking a seat in the front row.
awards were handed, from best position papers, verbal commendations, honorable mentions, most outstanding delegates, and of course, best delegates.
the press council was saved for last. sunghoon asked heeseung if he could be given more time to rethink his options for the awards, and as his best mate, he let him. in reality, sunghoon didn't need time to rethink his options. he and wonyoung knew who was going to win best journalist. sunghoon just wanted to save the best for last.
when heeseung hears sunghoon's announcement for best journalist, it clicks.
"and the press council's best journalist award goes to none other than... l/n y/n!"
cheers could be heard from across the conference room. minjeong practically jumping on you when they heard your name mentioned. you rushed to the stage with a red face and a still shocked reaction, receiving the certificate along with the medal. wonyoung gave you the biggest bear hug known to man, whilst sunghoon gave you a firm handshake.
you felt the cameras flashing at you, taking pictures from what felt like every single angle. unbeknownst to you, heeseung was glaring at you from the front row.
best journalist. best journalist? his mind was running all over the place. how could he? how could sunghoon, his best friend, let such a writer like you, who wrote a devious article about him, win best delegate?
a single glance at the other delegates of the press council only angered him more. amongst them were laughs and snickers. he swore he heard a journalist say; "looks like mister secgen is upseeet!" but decelis mun only happened once a year. he wouldn't have the need to care about you every other day.
or so he thought.
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heeseung felt like you were everywhere. at every lunch break, you were always sitting across his and the boys' table, laughing at nonsense with yunjin and wonyoung. during free periods, you'd be at the library, hunched over your laptop or head deep in a book. and at mun club, you just had to be there.
he hated that you were gifted like him. he hated that his friends favored you. he hated that sunghoon would always send you to their rival school's muns to participate in their press councils. he hated that you always won. he hated that you were clouding his mind every single day.
you hadn't but uttered a single "thank you," to lee heeseung. as decelis high's secretary-general, you didn't think he'd care about you. you were just a writer. you had no strength in the debate field, no reason for lee heeseung to care. but why was he being so cold?
it started when you applied for the harvard model congress. you were ecstatic to find out you'd be attending the conference. obviously, you told minjeong and wonyoung all about it. even striking up small talk with sunghoon.
"that's amazing y/n. i mean, harvard model congress? that's big!" his tooth-rotting smile bringing a cheerful mood.
"you went from winning best journalist in schools across the state to varsity level in just a few months!" minjeong squeals, as she hugs you. you were really lucky to have such caring best friends.
laughing along in the mun club room, you could feel heeseung's glare from his desk. headphones on and focused onto his laptop screen, you felt a strange feeling resonating off of him.
heeseung was fuming. the entire club applied for harvard model congress. heeseung got in. his mates did. and of course, you also did.
it was supposed to be a three day long weekend with his mates full of debate, laughter, awards, and getting drunk on social nights. but no. you and your friends would be there too.
heeseung didn't understand why everyone was so trusting of you so easily.
even jay, was friendly with you. "well y/n, i think you're going to make a run for hee's job!"
wonyoung rolls her eyes at jay. "he should be scared. you've rose up through the ranks like jake's receeding hairline."
"hey! my hair is perfectly fine, thank you!" jake cuts, huffing at the ridiculous comment about his hair.
"yo hee! we gotta work out the letter to the school so we can get a few days off. come over here, you look like you're burning holes into your laptop!" jay chuckles, receiving a smack on the arm from jake.
a quick but surprising slam! from heeseung's laptop emitted a low echo throughout the room. followed by a ruffling of him throwing his decelis almameter over his shoulder, and another loud slam! of the mun club room's door. lee heeseung just stormed out.
"oof, what's got into him?" minjeong asks, her face contorting into an anxious look.
"i don't fucking know, he's been at it since decelis' annual mun. throwing temper tantrums left and right." jay sighs, concerned for his best friend.
"well i guess that temper is living up to my article." you suggest, letting out a huff and a subtle eyeroll.
sunghoon takes a deep breath before realization hits. "now that i think of it, he's been at it since you've joined our core team." while he points at you.
"what does that have to do with me? i didn't do shit. all i do is sit, join muns, write, and win awards for us. would he rather i'd be getting verbal commendations instead?" you sigh. you've done nothing but bring pride to decelis high's reputation.
wonyoung laughs, patting you on the back. "it's not about winning verbcom or bestdel, it's about heeseung finally finding his match."
"exactly! he's gone on and on about constantly winning at every mun. he's always complained about needing more of a challenge. and no shit he's been jealous of your achievements." minjeong pipes in.
"that's ridiculous. i don't understand crisis as much as he does, i'm just a journalist on the press council! he's basically just being an ass to me, that's all." you confessed, you and heeseung were basically on different levels. he was secgen and lover of crisis councils, whilst you were just one of the head journalists and co-editors of the press division.
"maybe he likes you? i don't know!" jake squeals, lifting his shoulders in question. jay and sunghoon gives him a slap on the shoulder each, a glaring stare between the three.
"no no, lee heeseung is a cold-hearted son of a bitch with an ego to feed every other day, there's no way he can feel shit." minjeong debates, a hint of anger in her voice.
"woah girl, what's got you mad? i get you two grew up together but that's a lot to say about heeseung." wonyoung asks her.
"i know it's a long story, but y/n deserves to know. right?" minjeong asks, waiting for you to nod to continue. "every single day of my life, i was my parents' star girl. i love my parents for supporting me. but ever since heeseung moved in next door, i was demoted from best girl in the neighborhood to second best to heeseung. ever since we were eight, heeseung didn't like to lose. to a boy he'd be a good sport. but when he lost to me in a mere storytelling competition, he'd throw a tantrum. that's heeseung to me. he's nothing but an egotistical ass who has to win everything."
you sigh, hearing minjeong’s words. "and you know what y/n?" she continues, "he's never lost it since we were 13. and you, y/n, have officially made him lose his mind. again."
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this year's harvard model congress was held at seoul national university, the dream university of many korean students. the seven of you stayed at a hotel nearby, settling in.
sunghoon picks up the keycards at the check-in counter, "okay so there's three rooms in total, the girls are sharing, me and jake are in one room, which leaves heeseung and jay—"
"i'm sorry sir," the hotel staff interrupts him, "but the rooms are already divided by the hotel and cannot be changed. it says here, room 745 is for miss kim and miss yang, room 746 is for mister park, mister sim, and the other mister park— mister jongseong, and room 777 is for—"
"great. thank you. alright, let's settle in and get ready for opening night." heeseung sighs, grabbing his suitcase and your shared room's keycards before heading to the elevators. you gave the rest of the group a shaky smile before following heeseung.
the moment you two entered the lift, and as heeseung tapped the keycard and pressing the button for the seventh floor, you could feel the tension.
as the lift begins to move upwards, heeseung lets out a sigh. "look, l/n. we're sharing a room by casuality, so don't make it a big deal."
you huff shakily, "a big deal? you're the one who's been avoiding me all year! i barely disturb you and all i do is win awards for decelis. what else do you want from me?" your voice slowly getting angrier.
as heeseung opens his mouth to answer, the lift comes to a halt as its doors open, signaling that they've reached the seventh floor.
heeseung holds the lift doors open, so you can exit it with ease. you were surprised with this gesture. coming from him who could care less about your presence, you were baffled.
as you both reach at your hotel room, heeseung gave you one of the three keycards given before tapping his at the hotel room's door.
and as if your romance stories came to life, you spotted an oh-so familiar trope sitting in the middle of your hotel room. there was only one king-sized bed.
"shut the front door." you sighed, looking at the clear situation in front of you.
heeseung entered behind you, "i clearly have, what are you talking abou—"
"no dumbass, it was a metaphor. i'm talking about this." you exclaimed, pointing your finger at the bed.
"great. i'll call up room service and get this sorted—"
"no it's fine, it'll be too much of a hassle and social night is in two hours. besides, we're civil adults, and we're here for only two nights. we can bear 72 hours living through this stupid one bed trope."
"fine. just so you know i'm taking the left side."
heeseung dropped his bag near his side, as he was trying his best to keep his composure. sharing a room with you was bad enough (that's what he keeps telling himself), but a bed as well? he'd rather win verbal commendation than share a bed with you.
you were unpacking your necessities before you decided to break the ice. "heeseung just so you know—"
but before you could finish, heeseung was already out the door. before the door closed, you could hear a mere; "i'll go down for social night. you do you." and a click! of the door.
you scanned the room that was once filled with such tension, spotting your room keycard on the bedside table.
you took off your sweater and switched to something a bit classier for social night, changing to a blood red dress you had packed to match harvard's colors. minjeong and wonyoung had helped you choose it a couple days prior, the conversation reappearing in your mind.
"harvard's got nothing on you with that dress! watch out best journalist!" minjeong hypes you up as you're trying it on in the changing room.
"are you sure it's not a bit too much?" you questioned, feeling insecure in the dress.
"too much? my guess is heeseung would drop dead seeing you in that dress. after all, he is in love with you." wonyoung giggles, which earns her a slap on her arm from winter.
"just own it y/n. maybe layer it with a leather jacket if you get cold?" minjeong suggests. you look at yourself in the mirror once more. maybe this would be the turning point between you and heeseung's rivalry. maybe he'd look at you and decide that he no longer hated you and instead loved y— no. enough of those thoughts.
as you touched up your makeup from earlier this morning, you headed out to find wonyoung and minjeong waiting at the lobby.
"there you are— oh that dress looks, damn!" minjeong exclaims, covering her mouth with her hand to hide the utter shock.
"i just know heeseung's going to gape at that dre—" before wonyoung could finish her sentence, she earns a smack on her arm from minjeong. "ow minie! i don't want my arm to be black and blue at social night! which starts in... thirty minutes. we should get to campus and fill in our registrations so we're set."
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opening night was a blast. harvard model congress knew how to throw a goddamn banger of a opening night.
there were so many things to see. a karaoke booth, a photobooth station, a merch station, even a snack booth filled to the brim with various snacks and drinks.
after receiving your lanyards and a couple papers where you'd find your assigned councils for the next day, you, wonyoung, and minjeong, were set to let lose one last time before you were head deep into your laptops, writing articles for the next three days.
entering the room littered with decorations and other delegates, you and the girls entered the ballroom hand in hand, in awe with the decor.
wonyoung spotted the boys immediately, already saving a table for the seven of you. the three of you walked to the table, which had name plates for all your names. wonyoung next to sunghoon, jay next to jake, minjeong on your right next to you, and heeseung on your left.
sitting at the assigned seats and listening to the opening remarks by harvard model congress' secretary-general, the food was served and you all dug in.
although this was only the first of two social nights, you and the girls had to make the best of it. from abusing the “free photobooths!” booth, and filling the room with echoes of musical ballads, your first night at harvard model congress was deemed memorable.
before you knew it, you were dragged to the back of the room, as wonyoung pulled out a small paper bag—which turns out to hold a couple bottles of liquor, you grabbed your glasses and started pouring.
you could see out of the corner of your eye—the girls downing shots of tequila (in secret, cause you didn't want to get caught), and the guys coming along to take a shot or two. but heeseung looked, tense.
jake slapped him on the back, giggling, “come on man, loosen up a bit! mun isn’t all about the awards and the roles, it’s about the memories!”
“and the friends we make along the way, am i right?” jay chimed in, with a teasing tone.
before you knew it, heeseung grabbed an entire bottle and downed what was equivalent to maybe 4 shots, wonyoung squealed, arguing the fact that it was a very expensive bottle of liquor.
“dude! that’s from my dad’s cabinet, it’s at least 500.000 won!” she argued, grabbing the bottle out of his hands.
as you tried to ignore his gaze, minjeong gave you your first shot—which you downed immediately, but it only made you feel like heeseung’s gaze was burning holes into you more.
heeseung sighed, “give me another one.” holding his hand out for someone to pour him a shot. “come on, i don’t got all day.” before sunghoon poured him another shot—which he downed immediately.
you hated the feeling of his stare. it felt, uncomfortable, but you liked it? the more he stared, the more you downed more shots. before you knew it, opening night came to a close, and you were stumbling your way down the hallway with wonyoung and minjeong, before finally finding your room. and in your drunken state, you passed out.
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burning pain. your eyes couldn’t handle the bright light emitting from what seemed to be all around you. as you open your eyes, head spinning, you flopped back down onto your bed, exhausted, and with the hotel room ac, you felt frozen.
but as you get comfortable onto the bed once more, you feel a sense of warmth engulf your body. it felt welcoming. comfortable. maybe a bit too comfortable for your sake. but the warmth was soothing. it was, moving?
you shot back out of the bed, trying to rub your eyes to focus back onto the warmth, but that warmth pulled you back into its embrace. as if it needed you to survive.
as you try to recollect the events of last night, your usual 7am alarm rung. what a great way to ruin the moment.
a groan echoed from that warmth you once clung to, a familiar sound, a familiar… voice?
“l/n, what time is it?” it asked.
fuck.
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"chill y/n, you'll be fine." you whisper to yourself, walking to your assigned council's room. from the rest of the journalists in your gang, you had been assigned to report on different councils. while wonyoung and winter were assigned to report on the ASEAN council, sunghoon to report on the UNHRC council, you were unfortunately assigned to the crisis council. just to your luck. your mind was still stuck in what happened this morning. you met your chairs, shuhua and beomgyu, role call was held, and your first committee session began.
while you were typing away a starting paragraph for an article, a bright face comes to greet you. "oh hello, l/n y/n right? i'm jungwon, the journalist for KBS! i sit right next to you in our council room."
"oh hello! i'm y/n, reporting for the new york times, it's nice to meet you." you smile, offering a hand out for him to shake, which he accepts.
"so, you got assigned to crisis too huh?" jungwon asks as you nod, "honestly it's one of the worse councils to report on because everything is moving... too fast." he sighs.
"i don't mind the speed, it gives me inspiration to write. but everyone has their capacities right?" you try to reason, whilst jungwon gives an agreeing nod.
not long after some small talk before you could enter crisis' council room, another boy tags along. his bright smile clearly infectious as you and jungwon couldn't help but smile at his bright appearance.
"annyeong! nice to meet you i'm sunoo!" he smiles, his blonde hair reflecting the lights in the room.
you shake his hand as a boy with blonde hair and black streaks tags along behind him before slapping the blonde’s arm, "i'm nishimura riki, you can call me riki. can’t believe i flew all the way from tokyo for this."
“yah! your writing is fine riki, your good shots will steal the show.” sunoo assures him, before looking back at you, and smiling.
riki sighs, before turning on his camera “i wanna get the redhead over there, heard he’s super good at mun or something..”
you blink as you realize riki was talking about none other than—heeseung.
"oh him? yeah he's my secgen." you tell him, the sentence floating out of your mouth. jungwon and sunoo turn to you with gaping mouths.
"wait- what? he's YOUR secgen? THE lee heeseung?" jungwon exclaims.
you furrow your eyebrows, "um, yeah? what's the big deal about him?"
sunoo's face lights up, as he prepares his words. "girl, he's the most highest ranking student in the high school mun circuit! his countless awards and times he's chaired makes him a legend. he's a literal model un weapon, even delegates with the veto powers are scared of him." he explains.
as you open your mouth to respond to his comment about heeseung, one of the chairs of the crisis council exits the room to greet you.
"ah hello journalists, you're here. i'm yeonjun, the head chair for crisis. we currently have unmod going on right now so you're just in time. we'll give you guys a couple opportunities to interview the delegates, but please be mindful." he explains.
you and the three boys smile back at him, before he opens the council room door and lets you in.
"delegates! i'd like to introduce to you all the journalists from the international press institute council, who will be observing our committee session. we have yang jungwon from KBS, kim sunoo from associated press, nishimura riki from NHK, and y/n l/n from the new york times. please treat them with the upmost respect.
a couple delegates say their greetings, and even explaining the current debate going on, as the four of you smile back at them. the crisis council was a popular council, and you can tell that from the amount of delegates in the room.
as you return your laptop back into your messenger bag and pulling out a notepad, a pen, and some sticky notes, you look back up only to lock eyes with heeseung. his gaze was deadly. you give him a slight smile, which he responds with an eyeroll.
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the only thing you hated about being a journalist was the interviews. you needed to research, but having to interact with people you don't know? you'd rather kill yourself. it just happened that heeseung's stance was interesting enough for you to pass a post-it note to him, which he threw away.
so you were surprised to see him walk towards you during break, as you had thought he had rejected your interview offer.
"l/n, you wanted to interview me?" he'd asked you, no bad tone in his voice.
you looked at him surprised, kinda shocked, "umm, yeah? are you okay with that."
"i'm good. just, make it quick."
you open your notes to find your question you wanted to ask him, "um, do you mind if i record?" you asked, which he nodded. "okay, so as the delegate of colombia, what steps would you take to face the ongoing drug trade happening in your country? as a journalist, we have not seen you speak up much lately, so i'd like to know your thoughts."
"um, thank you for the interesting question, well i think—"
it was unlike him to treat you like this. unlikely for him to keep his cool. as you try to remember the words he was saying as you hold out your phone to record him, nothing was catching on. it was as if words went in one ear and out the other. 
he was so professional. the way he walks, and the way he talks—the way his lips move when he talks, the way he explains his stance—the way he’s saying the words—the way his lips move to pronounce it, oh and the way he-
“l/n? are you done? i’m wasting my precious break time here.” heeseung asks you, breaking you out of that trance.
you compose yourself, hitting the stop button on the voice recorder app, “oh yeah, sorry, i was thinking of another question to ask you—got carried away…”
heeseung rolls his eyes at you, before thanking you and scurrying away.
what had gotten into you? you’ve never seen heeseung in that way before. he’s always been just a secretary-general to you. who also happens to hate you. you think. 
but as the unmoderated caucus comes to a close, you return back to your council room, ready to write an article on heeseung’s stance. after all, you still had a day’s left worth of committee sessions, as well as a press conference held at the crisis council. 
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the press council room was chiming with the clicks and clacks of keyboards, journalists writing articles left and right. you were in the middle of writing once again another filler article, as you had no idea what to write for your mandatory article. as you look through your gallery, observing pictures you took earlier for your articles, you can't help but notice heeseung in his element.
as you're typing a possible title for your mandatory article, you hear from beside you, "hey, what's going on with you and heeseung?" sunoo asks, as you turn to him in shock, as you were in the middle of writing an article.
you laughed nervously, "what? nothing's going on between us. he practically hates me." you sigh.
jungwon pulls his chair over to you, placing his laptop on your table in the process, "i don't think so. not from what i saw last night."
you gasped at what he said, "and what i saw this morning! i could practically feel the tension emitting off the two of you as you were interviewing him. i've never seen a man so intrigued before." riki chimes in.
"this morning? nothing happened, i was interviewing him on his stances and whatsoever for a possible article! that's all to it!" you defend yourself, trying to get back into your article.
"y/nie, sweetie, i've seen way too many kdramas to tell that the way he's looking at you, is a look of love~" sunoo teases, smiling as if he knew something more.
jungwon and riki laughes at your expression, which seemed to resemble a disgusting look, but underneath that, you felt a sting in your heart. not a bad sting, a good sting.
"but hey you two seemed pretty cozy last night, i wonder what that was for?" jungwon asked.
riki gasps, "hey i took a picture! wait let me find it..." as he pulled out his camera, going through the camera roll. "here! you guys were dancing together a lot, and he basically was carrying you back to your room. what, did you guys get drunk or something?"
you choked on your water, as the events of last night start piecing together. "i remember taking a couple shots, he did too, but all i remember after that is falling asleep on my bed... i assumed my friends helped me to get back but now that i think of it... they were pretty drunk too."
taking another closer look at the pictures riki happened to capture, you saw two beaming smiles, and from the looks of it, it looked like you two were having fun. you've never seen him smile this much, let alone around you. the other picture resembled like a married couple. it was as if heeseung was trying to pick you up, but by the looks of your drunken states, it wasn't really working.
"wouldn't it be really funny if you guys accidentally fucked or something? that would explain the tension!" jungwon jokes.
you shake your head, before putting your face in your hands, "no way, not in a million years. our tension is, well, our tension! it's what happens normally!" you try to defend.
"no you're right won, they totally fucked. i mean the floor you guys are on? most of the rooms have king or queen sized beds. what would you guys be doing other than that? snuggling into each other till the sunrise?" riki assumes, scoffing afterwards.
your eyes widened in shock, as if jungwon cut your brain opened and took out the events of what happened this morning. you put your head in your hands once more before beginning to cry.
riki saw your reaction, "hey i didn't mean it that way! i mean it's- um... great? if you fucked? but if not then that's like, totally okay! i mean sex isn't for everyone—"
sunoo cut him off, shooing him away, "stop making it worse, ki-yah! y/nie? will you tell us what happened?"
you sniffed, not knowing why you suddenly burst into tears, maybe it was the frustration? you grabbed a tissue to compose yourself, "i don't know... all i remember is i woke up this morning, in his arms, and i just jumped out and got ready. we didn't even talk about it. all of a sudden he's back to his old self and he's being mean to me again."
you take a deep breath, sunoo rubbing you on the back, trying to calm you down. "he's been like this ever since i transferred. i was just the new girl who was a press prodigy, that's what they called me back at decelis, and i don't know, he's hated me every since. no reason whatsoever. i've tried to win his attention by winning muns and stuff but, it doesn't matter. he looks at me as if i disappoint him."
jungwon and riki both comfort you as well, before jungwon has a strike of realization. "you know, it's not that i wanna stir up delusion in your mind, but it's quite common for guys to hate someone because they like them. what if he has a crush on you?"
riki realizes as well, "yeah what if? what if all this time he's been trying so hard to hate you because he actually likes you?"
hearing the words likes you come out of their mouths makes you shudder in fear. no way he likes you. right?
before you knew it, your chair returns to announce that press conferences are due to start soon. and up first? was the crisis council.
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stepping foot into the crisis room, with the information in mind, you start to notice the tiny little characteristics that match with the fact. the fact that the lee heeseung might as well have a crush on you. as you, sunoo, and two other journalists were guided to the front of the room, your chair explaining to the crisis delegates how the press conference was going to work, before giving the floor to the journalists.
you keep your head hung, distracting yourself by re-reading the questions you’ve written on your notepad, peeking through your hair, trying to take a glimpse of heeseung.
heeseung was in his element as always, head deep in his laptop, a couple volunteers passing by to give him a post-it note, filled with scribbles of other delegates wishing to be on his side. but as per usual, his critical self crumples the notes and puts it aside to his pile of other crumpled notes.
sunoo, on your left, nudges you in the arm, trying to snap you out of it. the moment you lift your head to look at the delegates and compose yourself, you catch heeseung looking at you.
with your bloodshot eyes, your usual smile fading, heeseung can’t help but notice what happened. you were fine last break. your eyes which used to be sparkling with curiosity had been traded for puffy eyes and a fake smile.
he wanted to come up to you, wanted to ask what’s wrong. but as your chair introduced the journalists, he’d wonder if it was just an impulsive thought.
each journalist had to share 10 minutes worth of press conference time to ask questions, a tight amount of time. as the journalist on your far left begins, the clock begins to tick. being the last journalist to ask, you begin to feel worried.
but as the mic is passed to you, and mere two minutes left on the clock, you scramble to compose yourself and your questions. “this journalist would like to open the question to the floor, with the excessive drug trade impacting the economy of your countries, what is an effective solution you’d have to decrease the drug circulation, but at the same time, would not damage your economy?”
placards were raised, and amongst them, were heeseung’s. you could see the colombian flag on his placard raised high, but as the journalist of the new york times, your work came first. therefore, you chose someone else. “yes, delegate of the united states?”
the delegate of the united states stood up, and you finally saw the name on his nametag. yang jeongin. he smirked at you, sending a wink. “thank you madam journalist for the intriguing question, as the drug trade across our country begins to increase…”
as you held your hand forward holding your phone out to record his answer, continuing to talk for the next minute. it felt like a lifetime. but in the corner of your eye, you could feel his gaze burning holes. heeseung held his placard high, glaring dead straight at jeongin even if he was still speaking. but as you thank jeongin for his answer, you open the question once more to the floor.
you hear a screech of the chair as heeseung, the only one holding his placard up, stands up to answer. but you don’t discern anything he says. you just stare at him. before you knew it, the clock rang, signaling that time was up.
sunoo nudged your arm once more, trying to snap you out of it. “you okay?” he asked, worry written all over his face. you nodded to tell him you were okay.
as you were escorted out of the room to head to the hotel restaurant for lunch break, you couldn't help but feel the same feeling of heeseung's gaze at the back of your head. you ignored him, walking out with sunoo by your side.
but you were stopped briefly by someone, none other than the delegate of the united states. "hey, that was a very interesting question you asked earlier at press conference. i was wondering if you need my insight on anything? given as i'm usa and you're the new york times." jeongin suggests, his usual smirk returning from before. sunoo winked at you, before leaving the two of you alone in the hallway.
you blink at him, "oh! yeah, i was thinking about gaining insight from, well our country's side of the story. so what can you tell me?"
your notepad flips open along the click of your pen, ready to jot down his words, before out of the corner of your eye, that sharp gaze returns. the burning stare heeseung emitted was back. you gulped and let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. "hey, um jeongin? could we find somewhere a bit more quiet so i can record the interview? i need to make sure everything is clear because i need to submit the questions to my chairs."
jeongin smiled, "of course sweetheart, i know just the place." before he took your hand and led you away. unbeknownst to you, heeseung was fuming.
as the two of you walked away, heeseung couldn't help but wonder. what's so great about yang jeongin anyways? compared to himself, his track record was not all that. yeah he may have won most outstanding or honorable mention a couple times, but never best delegate. consecutively.
heeseung felt a tap on his shoulder, before briefly turning around. jay was standing there with a cup of coffee. he grabbed it out of his hands before immediately drinking out of it.
"that's! hot coffee..." jay protested. but to heeseung, his rage burned hotter. "what's got your panties in a twist?" jay asked, sipping his own cup of coffee.
"nothing, just pissed at a delegate. per usual." heeseung lied. as the two begun to make their way to restaurant to eat lunch.
jay chuckled, seeing his pissed face, "dude, i've known you for over eight years, you don't get pissed at a delegate for no reason. this is harvard model congress for god's sake, everyone here? they're basically professionals. mun legends. i wouldn't have afford this shit if i wasn't good at it. the awards and prizes helped fund this hobby."
heeseung sighed, "it's not just a delegate. it's someone else."
"it's y/n, isn't it?" heeseung snapped his head to glare at jay, as if he grew three heads. "chill dude, i can tell. you're painfully in love with her."
"no no no, you don't get it, she's a menace to my track record. do you remember back at decelis mun before she transferred? her article basically ruined my record the next five muns? i basically had to avoid chairing so the rumors wouldn't be deemed true." heeseung argued, reminiscing the times.
"but you'd argue she's a damn good writer, isn't she?" jay defended, "i mean no one from decelis has won consecutively aside from you. and she comes in to make the decelis name proud. aren't you glad? you're secgen after all. you're just in denial."
heeseung sighed, looking at his cup of coffee, once full, now empty. "i'm not in denial! i'm just stressed with a couple delegates in committee session, unmoderated caucus was, stressful."
entering the restaurant, their eyes landed to the corner booth, where you sat face to face with jeongin. jay turned his head to look at heeseung staring deadset at the two. "well, whatever floats your boat man, i'm gonna get some lunch. unsc might as well go to crisis next comses." jay pats him on the back, joining sunghoon, jake, wonyoung, and minjeong.
heeseung stood still. he couldn't help but wonder. is this what love feels like?
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"so, yang jeongin, what can you tell me about the united states' stance on the current illegal drug trade? i assume that the country is fully aware of it happening?" you ask, pressing record on your voicenotes app.
jeongin looked around, before reaching over and pressing the stop recording button on your phone. before you could protest, "okay cut the crap, what's going on between you and lee heeseung?"
you looked at him strangely, not expecting the sudden confrontation. "well, nothing? i don't know what you want me to say, this isn't part of the interview."
jeongin dug into his food, "screw that shit, i wanna know why your secgen is all on my ass. i mean i looked at you once at comses earlier, and he looked at me like i lit an orphanage on fire."
you almost choked on your pasta, "what the hell, dude. he's just like that. he hates my guts so much he has to make me feel uncomfortable everywhere i go. i literally bring home decelis as many awards as he has in the past two years. i don't get him."
"nah, i don't think that's hate. he looked at me as if he was clyde and i was trying to steal away his bonnie. that's a look of love."
you sighed, "the thing is jeongin, he doesn't care. i've done everything to pique his attention, best journalist awards left and right, i was supposed to run for deputy secgen but he didn't let me. he said i wasn't a true decelis muner yet. i mean 8 muns in the span of a couple months? and i've never lost a single one? he probably hates me because i chose the lamest council."
jeongin swallows his food before he comes to realization, "hey weren't you the journalist who wrote on heeseung back at decelis' mun? i remember felix-hyung, my friend, that he went feral over it. he was chairing unicef, and in the chairs' room, he overheard heeseung talking about your article. how it was going to ruin his track record, or something."
"i mean, i do remember briefly. wonyoung, my chair, said i was allowed to write about the chairs or staff, even if they were filler articles. i wrote about heeseung and jay out of interest, i didn't know their history." you confessed, feeling quite bad about the outcome. "i didn't want my article to end up being gossip or shit talk, i just wrote what i wanted to."
"freedom of the press, am i right?" jeongin laughed, "speaking of the devil." signaling heeseung heading towards your table.
heeseung stood at your table. "yang. l/n." before scooting next to jeongin's side of the booth. you couldn't help but move your eyes between the two. after what sunoo and the boys told you earlier, and jeongin's confirmation that basically people could tell, you sit there in silence.
heeseung clears his throat, "well i'm not seeing much interviewing going on, delegates."
you scoffed at him, "it's none of your business heeseung. we're all delegates, it's lunch break. you don't have to boss around all the time."
"our decelis guidebook strictly confers to not confide in the enemy. and here you are, with the enemy. you know if you spill precious information regarding us we'd be dead?" he scolded you.
a laugh escaped your throat, "the enemy? jeongin is far from the enemy to me. matter of fact, heeseung, you've been more of an enemy to me rather than a secgen."
jeongin whispered, "keep it down y/n, it's okay."
you stood up in anger, "no it's not okay! i've been trying my hardest to do everything i can, i've won consecutively since my first mun at decelis, i've done everything you ask for. i've done nothing but make the decelis name proud, but i just can't happen to make you proud. what do i have to do next? i do everything and all i do is fall at second best. if you hate me so much then kick me off the goddamn team! wouldn't want me tarnishing your precious track record by having a traitor on the team, would you? all this over a stupid article i wrote months ago." you walk away from the table, returning to your room.
heeseung was speechless, the rest of the room was in awe, normally delegates would be able to stay professional. even if there was a break up or something. even wonyoung and minjeong looked at heeseung in anger, meanwhile jake, jay, and sunghoon looked at him in disappointment. jeongin stood up and left the booth, avoiding any more anger out of heeseung. "if i were you, i'd apologize. that girl has done nothing but try to please you and make you proud. start there." jeongin added before leaving.
out of habit, heeseung hung his head low in embarrassment. this was worse than the time you wrote that article about him. as he stood up to confide in the boys for advice, he spots a small leather notepad in the corner of the booth. it was yours. he'd have to find you, face you and give it back. it wouldn't hurt to read a bit of what's inside, right?
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running back to your room, you couldn't dare return till next comses. the fact that an entire room full of delegates and chairs had heard you scream at heeseung's face. and returning back to the bed you woke up from this morning, limbs tangled with heeseung, didn't really help.
hiding your face in your bedsheets, tears flowing freely, you couldn't help but smell the familiar cologne he had left behind. the smell stung your nose, and made your eyes water more. the scent that once plagued you, now had lulled you to sleep.
a blurry facade appeared, the sound of heavy noise music remained muffled. your feet were cold on the hotel floor, destination? room 777. you were swaying side to side, but thankfully you were able to hold on to a pillar, which was moving with you.
"we shouldn't have drunk this much, right l/n? i'm not even sure i'm prepped for comses tomorrow morning." the pillar said.
"you have it easy, lee. you don't have to write 4 pieces worth of mandatory articles and observe other council's committee sessions." you replied, a clear slur in your voice.
it, who turned out to be heeseung, laughed, and it was like music to your ears. "i thought you journalists just copy-pasted shit off google or something, didn't get why you'd have to sit in the back of council rooms."
you scoffed at him, "well, as secretary-general, you should've known better. if only you noticed what i've been doing all this time to get your attention, maybe you would've understood."
"you think i haven't been paying attention? i've had my eyes on you ever since you wrote that silly article about me back at decelis mun. 'who's really chairing crisis?' you do know me and jay have been friends since primary, right?" he argued.
"that i know know, lee. the fact that you caused all the fuss over an article that was purely for mun, and had no ill intention is just stupid. i just wanted to be able to express myself." you confessed, feeling underestimated.
he sighed, pressing the up button on the lift, "it's not that i fussed over an article, it's that you wrote about me. i don't see many people brave enough to write about a secretary-general." before he could continue, the doors to the lift dinged and opened, allowing the two of you to walk in.
"i mean," he stuttered, clicking the number seven on the lift's buttons, "you amazed me. i've never met a person who could express themselves so much through their writing. no one paid attention to me enough to write such a critical piece about me."
you smiled at him, "so i'm special? i was the first to write about you, right?" he chuckled at your cheeky comment, "yes you're a first. i wouldn't mind if you kept writing about me."
"but why'd you hate me? i've done so much for decelis to make you proud, but you still have a way to butcher me. i just wanted to impress you." you'd sighed into his chest, the world beginning to spin.
luckily, heeseung had caught you before you fell, right on time as the lift reached the seventh floor. he basically carried you out, trying not to drop you.
"if i hated you so much, i wouldn't be helping you get back to our room, nor would i be making sure you get back safely." he assured you, holding you in his arms.
you groaned in protest, "but you do, don't you? i'm never enough for you, after everything i've done. all the things i did—"
you were shut up by his lips on yours. out of the blue, with no warning signs, he had kissed you. out of habit you kissed him back, lips molding against each other as if you had been waiting for years, as if you couldn't live without each other. all hatred you held against him dissipated. your arms crawling towards the back of his neck to pull him closer, his own pulling on your waist.
he pulled away to take a breath, but you couldn't breathe. he was your oxygen. you connected the two of you together, chasing his lips, his touch, his presence. it was the sweetness, the flavor of love and lust hanging. you’ve been craving his attention, hell, even his touch for months.
but your lungs craved oxygen, forcing you to pull away, hiding your face in his chest. as you were taking in the moment, he chuckled, "i wouldn't have done that if i hated you, would i?"
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waking up with a jolt, the memories of last night came rushing in. you thanked yourself that the two of you hadn't fucked, but the idea of kissing him and liking it gave yourself insight. you wondered if heeseung remembered too.
opening your phone and seeing the time, you rushed out of your room as you were late to your next editorial meeting. it being the last committee session of the day, all you had to do was submit your mandatory articles of the day, and you'd be done. running back to your council room, knocking slightly on the door, you rushed back to your seat.
"journalist, you're late. why is that?" shuhua asked, beomgyu beside her, taking notes.
you sat down and composed yourself, "i'm sorry chairs, i slept in during break. it won't happen again."
the chairs nodded at you, letting it pass. the room discussed about how press conferences was, reminding the journalists of the upcoming deadline, but your mind was in the gutter.
you touch your lips, and you feel the lingering taste on your tongue. you were shocked out of your trance with the knocks of the chairs' gavel hitting the sound block. with only an hour left to finish your mandatory article, you begin to type.
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social night was an mun tradition. after a full day of committee sessions, all councils, no matter what their council was, it gave a chance for all the delegates to mingle amongst each other.
free from the deadline of your first mandatory article, you had the whole night to party it out before tomorrow, where you had to finish your final mandatory article.
social nights usually had themes, and tonight, harvard model congress' was inspired by bridgerton, along with masquerade masks were in array. you had packed a a black dress, which belonged to your mother. she’d always tell you to save it for a special occasion, a moment you wouldn’t want to forget. and for tonight, as you miss your mom's touch, you wear your dress with pride.
walking to the venue, and right before you could even enter, you’re immediately greeted by wonyoung and minjeong. "oh my god sweets are you okay?" wonyoung asked, holding your face, clear worry in her eyes. "we heard and saw what happened at lunch, good for you to finally confront the bitch." minjeong commented, which earned her, once again, another slap on the arm by wonyoung.
you nodded at the two, holding their hands, "i'm fine, don't worry. i just needed to get it out of my system, that's all."
"to think of it, i haven't seen him since. normally when you pass by the crisis room, you'd hear his voice bouncing off the walls..." wonyoung confessed, "that's very unlike of him."
minjeong scoffs at her comment, "who cares? he's been downplaying y/n's achievements for the past couple months, i wouldn't be able to stay quiet if i were you."
you sighed at the two bickering in front of you, "guys, i just want tonight to be about us. this is harvard model congress for god's sake, i want to make the best out of it. so can we stop the heeseung talk and have some fun? please?"
the two nodded at your request, not pestering you any further. you all walk into the venue, being handed masquerade masks. the venue was decorated to the nines, and it felt like a ball straight out of bridgerton. the three of you were guided to your delegation table, which seated you, the girls, jake, and sunghoon. but heeseung? he was no where to be found.
"where's heeseung? it's not like him to miss out on social night." jake asked you.
you sat down on your assigned seat, and the seat on your right, which was supposed to occupy heeseung, was cold and empty. "why are you asking me? he hates me, remember?"
jake shrugged, "i don't know, i just reckoned that since the two of you are sharing a room, you'd know where he is."
minjeong scoffs, "who cares? y/n got ready at me and wony's room anyways, so no, we don't know where he is."
"jay said earlier today that he's been looking for him. wonder where he went. and if he found him..." sunghoon tells the table, sipping on his glass of water.
stuck in your trance, you were snapped out of it by a screeching of a chair, one, being jay, and the other was right next to you. heeseung. he was in his usual suit and tie, a couple buttons on the top were unbuttoned. you glanced at his tired eyes, hidden underneath the masquerade mask.
"dude? where've you been?" jake asked jay, slapping him on the shoulder.
jay sighed and drank a gulp of his water, "looking for this asshole over here." while pointing at heeseung, "took me a while to find him literally on the rooftop. i swear seoul uni has the most crazy hideouts. i'm not even sure i can even find my way back."
"how'd you find your way there anyways?" sunghoon asked heeseung.
he sighed, "don't know. just, found it." his demeanor slipping away as you begin to see the raw brokenness. you didn't hurt his ego that much, right?
as the clock struck seven, waiters all around the room began laying out the meals. you took a glimpse of the dinner courses in front of you, not really having an appetite for anything. but you still tried to eat, tried not to waste your food, tried to seem okay in front of him.
heeseung, on the other hand, was trying his best not to combust. sitting next to you was hard enough, but the fact you were wearing such a beautiful dress had him awestruck. he also lost his appetite. he couldn't help but stare at you.
after dinner, your friends stood up and ran over to the dance floor, and you were unfortunately dragged along. a remix of many famous hits were played, before you sang your hearts out to iris, by the goo goo dolls. you felt someone tap you on your shoulder, which to your surprise you see jeongin.
"could i have this dance?" he asked, hand out for you to grab, iris still playing in the background.
you nodded and grabbed his hand before you two danced foolishly to iris, heels discarded, his suit as well, just dancing your hearts out. but you had your limits, you were tired and excused yourself to grab some water. before you felt a nudge on your right, as heeseung leaned towards your ear. "can we talk later? don't say no just yet, just follow the green post its."
he walks away, as you look at him in confusion. feeling bad for what you said at lunch, you decide to meet him and see what he has to say.
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following the pins of green post-its he left behind, you find yourself at the hidden rooftop jay was talking about at dinner. you open the door to be shocked at the view. the stars twinkling in the night sky. and stood there near the edge, was heeseung.
you broke the silence, clearing your throat, "you wanted to speak to me?"
heeseung looked at you and your dress, his mind going places. "yeah. i did. i'm not expecting an apology. i deserve it."
"but why'd you hate me so much, heeseung?" you whined at him, sick of his jokes.
"the thing is l/n, i don't!" he shouts, walking towards you, "it's not that i hate you, it's that i hate the way you make me feel. i hate the way you're so good at writing, i hate the way you win everything to make me proud, i hate the way you know my weaknesses, i hate the way you never gave up. you're on my mind every fucking day."
you walk up towards him, pulling his suit to pull him down, and him not expecting anything, you slap him across his face.
heeseung immediately pulled back, "ow! what was that for?"
"that was for not telling me about how you felt. you didn't have to bottle it up, you know?" you scoffed.
"and you didn't have to either!" he protested back, pulling out a familiar journal. your journal.
you grabbed it from his hands, "how'd you find this? i didn't even realize it was missing..."
heeseung sighed, "you know for a smart writer like you, you're very forgetful." a smile beginning to emerge.
"what did you read, heeseung? tell me." you asked, afraid that your secrets would spill out.
heeseung walked towards you, "enough to know that you're too stubborn to even tell me the truth. if you'd been feeling this way for months then you should have told me."
you gasped at him, "i would have told you about it if you weren't such a dick all the time? and then you kissing me last night just added more fuel to the fire." not realizing what you said, heeseung cupped your face, which was full of confusion.
"you remember last night?"
you blinked. "everything."
he laughed, "then you'd know i wouldn't hate you as much if i was doing this, would i?"
the familiar taste of his lips returned as he kissed you. you held onto his hands as he caressed your face. the oxygen you once craved had been fulfilled. you strung your arms around his neck, clinging onto him for dear life. you could feel the burst of sparks just surrounding the two of you, a moment you both craved.
the wavering facade between the two finally faded, unleashing the raw desire the two of you had, rushing through your veins.
you pulled away, heeseung leaning his forehead onto yours, before he gave you his best smile. you blushed out of nervousness and proximity the two of you held, not used to this view.
"you still hate me now?" you joked, smiling at him. his eyes softened, before he laughed, and kissing you once more, not wanting to let go. and as the stars glimmered under the night sky, you forgot time ever existed. forget the committee sessions due tomorrow, it was the two of you against the world.
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surely, waking up on the final day of the conference would give you a sense of peace, right? wrong. you had spent so much time last night making out and talking with heeseung that you forgot your final mandatory article was due soon. waking up from the bed the two shared, limbs tangled once more, this time, you weren't ashamed.
you kissed heeseung's forehead to wake him up, and despite heeseung's wishes to stay in and make out some more, you declined and got ready.
"can't you just stay? a bit late to the first comses of the day won't hurt your awards." heeseung groaned, asking you to return.
"i was late at yesterday's comses post-lunch, so i think i'm going to be a good girl and come early to this one." you replied, fixing your tie.
heeseung basically stood up and tried to pull you back to bed, "come on, just be my good girl. i promise you will be awarded with all of my kisses in the world."
you shook your head, "missing out on a couple kisses won't be the death of me. come on, you need to prep for comses too."
heeseung moaned in complaint, "no, i'd break my streak for you, i don't care. i just want to stay in with you, away from everybody."
you were able to crawl your way out of his touch, "nope! i'm not letting you lose your streak just over me. come on, get ready. i'm going down for breakfast."
"can i at least have a goodbye kiss before you go?" he pouted, and the way his eyes resembled bambi, you gave in.
you tried to just give him a quick peck, but his touch was so fragile and welcoming, that if you didn't stand your ground, you'd probably be pinned down till the rest of the day. but you didn't want that, so you let go of his touch, assuring him that you'd spend more time with him after the conference.
now, here you were, back in your conference room with a giddy look on your face. you couldn't help but dream of last night. even sunoo, riki, jungwon, along with wonyoung, minjeong, and sunghoon, were even surprised to see you better all of a sudden.
"okay is this some weird process girls do the cope with sadness, cause if so how do we fix her?" sunoo asked, concerned.
wonyoung was staring at you like you were beaming, "it looks like pregnancy glow."
riki basically spit out his coffee, "wait so they actually fucked?"
minjeong snapped at riki, "who fucked?"
"we had speculation that, y/n and heeseung fucked the first night, hence why she was out of it the next day..." jungwon explained to the rest.
sunghoon, the only person out of the group who happened to know heeseung the best, commented that; "no there's no way he fucked her. if they fucked, they wouldn't have been here."
"could you stop speculating that me and heeseung fucked?" you snapped at the group. not out of anger, but annoyed that you couldn't concentrate.
"sorry, but did you?" riki enquired, earning him a riki! from the group around him. "what? i just wanna know."
you sighed, standing up and packing a couple things, "who cares if we fucked or not? just leave us alone." as you head out of the council room, heading to the crisis room for some final details.
contrary to how you first felt when you walked into the room, your heart felt full of hope. that this time, heeseung wouldn't be staring at you with hatred, instead of love. you hoped you wouldn't distract him.
as you walked into the council room, you nodded at chair yeonjun, before taking a seat at the prepared seats for the journalists. you sit down, open your laptop as you're typing your final mandatory article. you tried to glimpse towards heeseung, but you were returned with the same feeling as yesterday. the sharp gaze was back. maybe it's because he's in is element? mun is important to him... you thought, and busied yourself to writing your article. since it was your final committee session, you just had to submit your article and return for the closing editorial meeting. quickly clicking submit, and the chairs deeming the final committee session over, you wanted to sneak a quick kiss before returning for your meeting.
you stood up from your seat and walked towards heeseung. he stood up and saw you, walking your way. instead of being greeted by a hug or a kiss, he brushed past you to talk to his fellow delegates. you felt a pang in your chest, the way heeseung ignored you like that. you thought everything was okay. the kisses you shared, the conversations you had. you looked back at heeseung only to see him busy talking with the other delegates, barely sparing you a glance. you left the room quickly, not looking back.
unbeknownst to you, heeseung saw you leaving, his heart barely surviving after treating you like that. you deserved better than him. he couldn't have it all.
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the final editorial meeting of press councils should be a joy to you. no more deadlines, no more press conferences. but you were stuck in your head. repeating the interaction over and over in your head, you didn't understand a single thing.
after the comments and input from both the chairs and the journalists, chair shuhua decided to pull out the gossip box. you'd been informed prior about the gossip box filling at social night, but since you ran off with heeseung to make out the night away, you didn't have time to fill it in.
as shuhua and beomgyu begin to read the entries, earning laughter all around the room, a certain entry snaps you out of your trance.
"oh this is a good one! new york times from press and colombia from crisis actually fit really good together! hope the enemies finally turn into lovers! wait is this about y/n and heeseung?" chair shuhua asks, causing the whole room to look at you.
you looked at everyone strangely, "what? there's nothing."
chair beomgyu shook his head, "no no no, i don't think there's nothing. come on spill the tea, something must've happened the past three days."
everybody was waiting on your response. waiting for you to tell everyone what happened. you just wanted them to shut up. "okay well. we kissed."
the group of six who were pestering you earlier, gasped loudly. earning you a rumble of no shit's, wait actually's, and a loud jinjja?!
you couldn't help but sink back into your seat, still upset about the way he treated you earlier. "yeah, but he's treating me like shit again today, so. that's that."
the entire room aww'ed in disappointment, before the chairs read out a couple more entries, and adjourns the final editorial. you stand up to clean your table, taking out a pen to begin signing each others' placards. signing everybody else's, photo sessions were in array, and after you were finally allowed to have some free time before awarding ceremony.
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awarding ceremony was one of those moments where you have hope, but at the same time you don't. you start rethinking choices you made during the conference, wondering if you made the right option. you headed your way to where the press council was sat at, where you met a couple other delegates, even bumping into jeongin, wishing each other a good luck!
you sit down between wonyoung and minjeong, which earned you an endearing hug from the two, assuring your problems with heeseung didn't matter. stuck in your head, you didn't notice the boys' absence in the room. and awarding had begun. the secretary-general of harvard model congress came up and made their speech, thanking all the delegates for participating and giving their best. chairs from other councils begin to come up to give their awards.
meanwhile, outside of the room, was heeseung cornered by jay, jake, and sunghoon.
heeseung, not caught up with the situation, looked at the three with confusion. "what did i do?"
jay scoffed, "what did you do? you managed to fuck it up again? what did i tell you?!" shaking the life out of him.
heeseung shook his head in confusion, not knowing what to do, when sunghoon came up to him, "look man, your little feud with y/n has to stop. i don't get you anymore. i thought you'd be good at this after helping me and wonyoung get together..."
"nah dude you're in denial. what do you mean you two basically confessed to not hating each other and then made out a bunch of times, only for you to leave her and ignore her like so? that's crazy." jake protested. that was the truth.
"i don't know what to tell you, but me and jake have got to get back for unsc awarding, but please think about it? i know you feel scared of this whole love thing, but i assure you, it's okay to feel this way." jay says, leaving with jake, which left sunghoon with heeseung alone.
heeseung didn't know what to do. for the first time in his life, everything was out of his control. he craved you and needed you, but he felt like he didn't deserve you. it was as if a crisis was happening in his own mind.
as he hears the cheers of the room with every award that is given out, his heart races. he hears the announcement where jay and jake both won best delegates, which they had been double delegating in.
sunghoon kept trying to comfort heeseung, not knowing what to say to him. "look, i may not understand the way your mind works, but i assure you that you deserve her. you've put yourself through it all for decelis, and the track record that we have wouldn't have been what it is now if it wasn't for you. i don't know what plan you're cooking up, but whatever it is, win her back." heeseung looks at sunghoon with sheer nervousness in his eyes. "press and crisis are left, so whatever you want to do? do it now. before its too late."
leaving heeseung alone outside the room, sunghoon walks back in, returning to where the press journalists sat. he saw you picking on your nails out of habit, nervous for the next awards. as your chairs walk up to the podium, sunghoon just hopes heeseung would do something.
as names begin getting called out, sunoo winning best pre-conference video, then riki and jungwon winning verbal commendations, wonyoung and minjeong winning honorable mentions, you held on tight to the tiny string of hope left. it was probably between you and sunghoon left. as you look around the room, heeseung is still nowhere to be found. you had hoped that maybe with this win, you'd make him proud once and for all.
"the final two journalists were a tight match. these two shown impeccable talent in their articles and presence the past three days." shuhua announces. "it is with our great pleasure that the most outstanding journalist goes to, park sunghoon!"
wonyoung, who was on the stage prior, basically screams in joy. you high five sunghoon before he winks at you, knowing you'd win best journalist. but a part of you still thinks you won't.
beomgyu gives sunghoon his award, before adjusting his mic. "this final journalist has pure talent in her writing, and have awestruck the both of us with her work. without further ado, we would like to present that the best journalist award goes to none other than... l/n y/n!"
relief. that's all what washes towards you. yes you've heard your name and the words best journalist go along too often, but every time it happens, it always feels euphoric. as you walk up the stage to receive your award, earning smiles from the other awardees, you couldn't help but look to the crowd.
you see jay and jake basically jumping up and down in joy, but heeseung was still nowhere to be found. a pang of disappointment burns in your chest as you walk down the podium with your certificate in hand. an array of congratulations! are heard, as you sit back down for the final awarding. crisis.
zoning out, after feeling the euphoria of your win, your mind drifts off to heeseung. how would he feel? was he proud?
as chair yeonjun announces the awardees, you are cut out of your trance with every round of applause. you see jeongin win most outstanding, and you cheer for him.
as yeonjun clears his throat for the final award, he begins his speech. "this final award goes to a delegate who really deserves it all. although this mun may have not been his best run, he deserves so much more than the title: prodigy. i'd like to present this best delegate award to none other than... you know what? lee heeseung get up here, get your award, and get your girl!"
with pure shock, you watch as heeseung bursts through the doors, run up to the podium, quickly shake his chairs' hands, grabs his certificate, and runs down. and he's running to you.
he drops his certificate on the floor, before engulfing you in the biggest hug he's ever given in his life. spinning you around, you squeal in excitement. he whispers in your ear an array of i'm so proud of you's, before putting you down, and kissing you in front of everyone.
you cling onto him, parting your lips allowing him to kiss you deeper and deeper, and the feeling of sparks flying around you made it feel like it would last forever. your ears muffle all the cheers surrounding you, only focusing on heeseung, and heeseung only.
he puts you down and rests his forehead on yours, exactly like how he did on the rooftop the night before. "how'd you pull this off?" you ask him, still on cloud nine.
"eh, had some help from chair yeonjun. didn't expect the bestdel though." heeseung laughs, holding you by the waist, tighter, and tighter.
you held his face closer, wanting to feel his touch, "why'd you do that? why'd you run?"
"y/n. i love you. i never knew how to say it all this time, because it's a feeling unlike any other. to the point it made me feel as if my life was in crisis. but that's when i realized i never had it all. not until i found you."
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taglist; @riekiss @sesameoil721 @desistay @capri-cuntz @beomluvrr @shawnyle @tya0 @heexoolio @sunghoonsgff @spiderhanzzz (crossed out = i can't tag you)
back to my masterlist?
disclaimer: this, in no way, reflects the idol. this is purely fiction.
© 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐇𝐄𝐄, est. 2024 | do not plagiarize, modify, translate, or repost my works on any platforms.
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personasintro · 11 months ago
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Romance Is Not Dead | jjk
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↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; it’s valentine's day and you're single
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: brother's best friend!jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff, angst (?)
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mentions of sex (it's mentioned quite a lot), reader's brother is kinda dick, alcohol usage, men (that deserves a warning alright), drunk people (it's a party), angst (?) honestly I'm not sure if there's any angst but it's a story with a few realistic topics that are kinda sad if you think about it, it's not your average fluff story lol
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7.7k+
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a/n: happy valentine's day! mind you this was supposed to be a short drabble like around 2k lol, I had no proper idea of where this will go and somehow I ended up with quite a long story haha. but I'm happy I got more into writing, I wasn't expecting writing this much. if there are any mistakes, please ignore them hehe. I rushed to post it so I could make it on february 14th. I don't know what even is this story but i hope you enjoy it hahah don't forget to like and reblog ♡
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“Argh! Who even invented Valentine's Day?”
The groan that leaves your mouth – or more like a loud complaint – rolls around the room, not stopping you from tossing your bag on the kitchen's table to show your annoyance more than actual anger.
“Hello to you too, sis.” Your brother throws a peace sign your way, not particularly fazed by the lack of greeting on your side.
From your peripheral vision you could easily tell they're right there. Your brother and his best friend have been best friends since high school, they go way back and somehow, they've managed to stay super close till now. It's quite admirable, you have to admit. You don't think you've ever seen or heard them fight. Overall, their friendship seems to be more relaxed in this sense than most girls' friendships.
Yes, that mostly happens between guys. They're not as dramatic or bitchy as some girls can be. God. None of your current friends are your friends from high school. You've parted ways eventually.
However, the amount of drama free that's clearly not present in their precious brotherhood is equalized with loud burps, unfiltered talks about girls and sex through male eyes. You would've mentioned farting but luckily, you haven't heard your brother's best friend to be that nasty in front of you. Which can't be said about your brother but well, that's a part of having a sibling – regardless of their gender.
It's quite cliché.
Your brother's older, therefore he's protective yet loves to embarrass you at any chance. He thinks he's all that and sometimes, it feels like he thinks he's your third parent. That's what's more annoying – perhaps even more than overrated Valentine's Day. 
“Did someone decline you on Valentine's Day?”
There he goes again.
Teasing you. It's a never-ending circle. Luckily, you've grown resistant to his pathetic attempts to embarrass you – especially when his friends are present. Yeah, your brother can be a dick and you're not afraid to tell him.
Though, you don't stick to the names and curses and instead turn it into something more powerful. 
Scoffing, you swipe your hair back and give him a look. “Please, look at me.”
“I am, that's why I asked.” 
You waste no time in grabbing one of the stupid empty cans he always has laying around and throw it at him. Did you mention he can be a pig sometimes?
Your aim has gotten way better throughout the years and when he curses at you once it hits the side of his head, you smile happily. His friend chuckles at the two of you, lifting the can that has fallen onto the floor and sets it on the table.
“Yeah, and that's why you chase every man that comes my way.” you comment, knowing well damn you're right. 
He frowns, “Those men can hardly be called men, sis.”
“Well, bro, I wouldn't know since you like to be the pain in my ass.” you smile at him tightly, seeing him looking before he goes back to playing one of his stupid video games. “Not that I have a man to look up to in the first place.”
They've been doing that a lot. Lame. 
His best friend's snort turns into a laughter that he barely gets to hold in. That makes you smile because you see it as a success in getting back at your brother. And perhaps your little crush you've had on him has something to do with it. But we don't talk about it.
Your brother glares at him but he's not affected, not even a bit. It's hard to put it into words or make any definition, but he's always been slightly more… intimidating? He has an aura around him that makes you appreciate even a little reaction from him. 
It's humorous. You've known him for years, merrily just from always seeing him next to your brother (because there were never other opportunities), yet it feels like you barely know anything about him. Even though he used to occupy your living room almost every day. And today doesn't feel much different. The only difference is that none of you live at your parents' house. 
“Who hurt you today?”
“Don't be a dick. I can be a bitch too.” you remind him sweetly, leaning forward against the kitchen counter and grab a grape that lays in a single bowl. Probably the only healthy thing he has in this kitchen. 
He flips you off and frowns once he doesn't win the game. Karma. “Anyway, are you gonna tell us why you came here so annoyed or you're gonna eat?”
“I can do both,” you shrug. “I just don't get the hype about Valentine's Day.”
“Oh, you asked who invented it? Probably a pair of groupies in love.”
You roll your eyes, “I don't think that's it.”
“It's about romance. It's romantic, sis.”
You snort, “And how would you know anything about romance?”
He chuckles cockily as if the next words he says is something to be proud about; “I don't. But the girl I fucked said something about it.”
“Ew!” you gag, stopping yourself from reaching for another grape. “You're gross sometimes.”
“You don't talk about sex with your friends? C'mon, it's normal.”
“Yeah, with my friends. Not in front of you.” you justify. 
“Jesus, we didn't have to hear that.” Your brother scolds you, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of you talking about sex. 
You sometimes make sex jokes in front of him just to mess with him. It's pretty funny and it never gets old. You don't do it often though, but perhaps you should. 
“I hear only you complaining.” you sign out, pointing out the obvious and for the first time since you've arrived, you give proper attention to his best friend. 
He's been awfully quiet. What's there for him to say anyway? You and your brother bicker most of the time, no matter how old you are. He's pretty much used to it by now. He just stuck to playing the game and other than cackling at your previous comment, he's been quiet. You hate that you're slightly annoyed by the lack of attention he gives you. Not that you're an attention seeker or desperate for his attention.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out he sees you as his best friend's little sister. Even though you're not as little as when he first met you. 
“JK is the last person who wants to hear your complaints.”
“Why don't you let JK speak for himself?” you question, a little edge to your tone as your brother huffs out, muttering something under his breath – obviously aimed at you.
“Chill out, you two.” he mutters, voice slightly deeper than you remember it even though the last time you've seen him was last month. It has a little rasp to it and you wish your eyes wouldn't glue to him automatically. 
He lays comfortably on the couch, man spreading with a game controller sitting in his lap while his big thumbs rest comfortably against the buttons. You might've mentioned you are not friends with people from a high school anymore, but you have friends. One who would kill for a moment to spend with your brother's best friend. Just to be in his close proximity.
Though, it's no secret he's not any better than most guys his age – including your own brother. In a weird way, you love your brother (even though you wouldn't probably ever say it out loud because he's a weirdo and he would just make fun of you), but you can easily tell he's not someone you would ever want to end up with. Personality and morally wise, of course. 
He surrounds himself with people with the same values, or the lack of. 
And perhaps, it's one of the reasons why you suddenly got annoyed because of today's day. February 14th. You're the type that simply brushes off any guy who comes your way that you don't have any interest in. There's no need for your brother. He's a dick and he chases the ones that might not be husband material, but they're hot and charming. You're not necessarily looking for a marriage. God. You're too young. You don't want to be the one that gets locked in a marriage with someone they just met. 
Definitely you don't want to get knocked up either. Fuck, they're so many scenarios that run inside your head. Ones you don't want to live in. 
Regardless of your current stance when it comes to your life and relationships, you're still romantic. All of your friends have dates today. Any other day or year, you wouldn't even think of it – but you've seen everything in the shape of a heart today. Not mentioning there's everyone kissing and hugging at every corner of the street. 
And you didn't get a discount on your cake because you were alone with no partner around. Who does that? That's discrimination!
Valentine's Day is overrated. Maybe you think that way because you're single. Have been for too long. And while you don't necessarily miss it, you kind of crave for someone's affection and touch. It's not even about sex. 
“Listen, we're having a party tonight. I wouldn't normally invite you–”
“Wow, thanks.”
He shoots you a glare again before he continues, “But seeing you so miserable, maybe you could come too.”
“Party? Is this another one of your gangbang parties?”
“I have never been a part of that, stop calling my parties that.”
“There are literally hundreds of people who are there to hook up.” you inform him.
He snickers, “That's like every party.”
You lift up your eyebrows, not quite believing him. It's like every party he hosts or is invited to. People his age make parties slightly less wild. Not that he's too old but still. He's acting and living too wild for his age. 
“I'm not hosting it.”
“Who is?”
“JK here.” His brother says, head motioning toward the man next to him. “I'm sure you don't mind that I'm inviting her.”
The said man looks at his brother, shrugging. “I don't.”
“Well?” Your brother looks back at you. “Are you coming?”
“Are you gonna chase everyone that comes my way? Y'know, my friends are all having dates and if I don't wanna spend tonight alone, I would rather have fun.”
“You're allowed to come. And yeah, probably I will.”
“You're a douche. I'm an adult, stop treating me like a child.”
Your brother sighs, already knowing what argument is about to come. It's about the same stuff every time. 
“I'm doing it for your own good. The people that are gonna be there, guys that are gonna be there are like us, sis.”
There's a certain softness behind his voice, though it still stays vigorous as if he's trying to get something through your thick head. You know all of that, though. You know he doesn't hang out with the best people. But they're just dicks. And they're thinking with dicks. But you can take care of yourself. Besides, he's going to be there as well. 
JK, or Jungkook like you refer to him in your head, briefly looks at you. But you spot it and stare at him as his eyes drift to your brother. “You can't protect her forever.”
“That's something an asshole would say.”
“I never said I'm not one. But let her have her fun.”
“You know what? Don't come. I don't want you there.” Your brother stands up and shoots you a glare before he walks away. 
God! He's such a dick!
JK chuckles and you realize you've been frowning this whole time. You hear the door slam close and you scoff. “He's such a child.”
You eye him with no embarrassment whatsoever, tracing all the tattoos he has gotten throughout the years. The white shirt fits his torso perfectly, even though it's oversized his muscles peak through. 
Your friend told you he's at the gym almost every day. It sure looks like that. 
He suddenly stands up and you straighten automatically, watching him make his way toward you but not before tossing the game controller on the couch. He stays on the other side of the table, reaching for one of the grapes while still staring at you. 
God. He's doing something purposely.
For the first time today, your confidence slightly falters but you do your best not to show it. You stare as he pops one of the grapes into his mouth and chews on it. 
“You're still invited. That's if you still wanna come.”
You blink, “But my brother–”
“Is like a child sometimes. You're gonna be fine there.”
Gulping, you mutter; “How are you so sure?”
He doesn't answer but there's a small smirk playing on his lips. “You would still come, wouldn't you? Just to piss him off.”
That causes you to let out a soft chuckle because yes, he's right about that. Your brother needs to understand you're not a child. “I would.”
“Alright, then come.”
You poke the inside of your cheek with your tongue and lift your brow, “I will.”
You will go to the party. Even if your brother would burn down the city.
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One of the few things you've learned about your brother's best friend – Jungkook – is that he comes from a wealthy family. You know he got his own place in the city center, that alone tells you he's got money. Whether they come from his parents or by his own hard work is unknown to you. Either way, it's quite clear he's always been slightly privileged than most kids your age.
You've never been to his parents' house. There was never a reason for you to go there, plus, you're not your brother and he didn't exactly bring his little sister with him whenever he went somewhere. The only time he would have to spend time with you alone was when he had to babysit you. But you would always stay home and he would let you know how annoyed he is because of that.
A typical teenager who wanted to chase girls and experience his first hook-ups rather than having to babysit his little sister who was born with sharp tongue and big mouth. You're probably his karma for all the hearts he already managed to break. 
Anyway – you know JK's parents' house is settled up the hill, away from the city and in a rich area where all the big houses were built. You've never seen it, hence your first reaction when you spotted a huge gate and a house that looks more like a mixture between mansion rather than a small family house.
Before he parted ways a few hours ago when you last saw him, he gave you the address. Seems like you've arrived just in time. There are many people, outside and inside – everywhere. It looks like the college parties you get to see in movies but more upgraded.
The thing about you is that you would never go to a party alone. Even if two people you know are here. Well, your brother still doesn't know you're here and he's about to get pissed once he sees you. Suddenly, the idea to piss him off doesn't seem so alluring.
But this house – or mansion or whatever this building is called – is the only place that is not filled with heart balloons. They might be couples and strangers that are glued to each other, the romance is simply not present. It's nasty and explicit to a certain extent. 
A part of you is disgusted at how easy some people seem to be, letting themselves to be groped by strangers, but there's something alluring. Perhaps even more than doing this just to prove a point to your brother. 
You don't get a chance to look around the place, since it's crowded and you're trying not to get shoved into, you're looking for a bigger space and maybe something to drink. You make it into the main room it seems. A huge couch in the shape of U looks massive but it fits into the big room perfectly. There are people everywhere and there's not a single space on the couch. However, once you make it closer and spot a tiny space, it's all forgotten and your vision naturally travels to the couple sitting there. 
You would spot those tattoos everywhere.
Jungkook's there. And a woman sitting on his lap as you see them making out explicitly, tongues brushing against each other. Alright, a part of you envies the woman but looking around and seeing more of them staring in slight irritation and jealousy, you're not alone. You scrunch your nose at them not caring and just making out with each other in front of everyone. There's no way they don't know everyone's eyes are on them. The guys ignore them though. It's mostly women.
The one that sits on his lap and seems to be ready to jump his bones, is wearing a tiny top and mini skirt. You can see her panties and you feel embarrassed to witness the tiny piece of underwear. Well, she doesn't seem to care.
His hand is on her waist, gripping it tightly as he pulls away and mutters something into her lips. She giggles, all her attention focused on him. 
Despite knowing him for years, you've never seen him in this element. And maybe that's what your brother didn't want you to see. Not even Jungkook but everyone here. You've witnessed a few parties, but this one is completely on another level. It looks straight out of a movie and perhaps completely out of your comfort zone. 
But you don't leave. You stick in your spot and just stare at your brother's best friend flaunting his charm all around him, but mostly aimed at the woman on his lap. 
Since your brother that eventually came out of the bathroom told you to get out, you've decided to come after all and give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe not exactly the same but that's why you chose one of your tight dresses. They're not special. Just a dress that almost every woman owns. But this one has thin straps and you don't get to wear a bra in it, that's how tight it is. It's the only clothing you're wearing, minus the panties of course. 
You look good. You know you do and that's why you chose this outfit particularly. You thought the heels are perhaps too much, but luckily you opted for them instead of your sneakers. Everyone seems to be dressed like they're in a club. Not even one outfit on a woman here looks completely comfortable. And they show more skin when they wear clothing. Not that you're judging. You're not the one to talk.
And you know this choice of clothing is not only a magnet for eyes, but for unwanted touches you were counting on eventually. It's sad but it's the truth. That's why you never come alone to these things. You always have your friends with you. You would kick asses for each other and overall, you feel more protected and safe. 
The hand that slaps your ass – that definitely looks good in this dress – causes you to turn and twist your face in anger. You spot a wasted man that smiles stupidly as if he did something cute. You shove him in the chest causing him to stumble into a few people who start to curse at him and complain.
“Touch me one more time and I will fucking kick your ass.” you spit at him. 
Your ass might look good but that's not an open invitation for strangers or anyone to touch you unwillingly. 
He gains his balance and his drunk features twist into anger. You see it. He's angry because you're not all over his dick because he touched you. First of all, he's not even hot. And he's wasted out of his mind. There's nothing hot about it. 
He doesn't make it too close because you push him again, causing him to fall this time.
“You bitch!” he yells, having a trouble to stand up and you cover your mouth to shield the giggle that makes it out. 
One of the guys that he stumbled into turns around, ready to curse. But as your eyes lock, all the amusement fades away and your eyes widen in a sudden fear. Shit.
It takes a moment for your brother to register that it's you – perhaps the exposed skin causes him to widen his eyes too before they twist into anger.
“What the fuck.”
“I was invited.” you automatically argue, yelping once he makes his way toward you and grabs you by your forearm. He kicks the bastard that still tries to stand up and starts leading you elsewhere. No, he's not leading you but dragging you with him.
It's not the initial reaction you had in mind. You wanted to smirk, to show him that you're here and there's nothing you can do about it. But that's out of the picture because in the end, you're just a little girl that maybe loves to piss off her brother, but once you truly piss him off you back away.
That realization causes your anger to come back and you dig your heels into the wooden floor, trying to get out of his hold. “Stop squeezing me like that!”
“Would you like to be squeezed by strangers?!” He yells over the music, both of you stopping next to a staircase.
It already happened, you wanted to say but decide to stay quiet.
He couldn't see what the stranger did to you. He only saw the man falling and stumbling into him. So the fact that he's this pissed off to see you here without even seeing what happened just minutes ago, makes you think he needs a psychiatrist. What would he do if he saw what happened?
“Maybe I want that!” you yell at him. “And there's nothing you can do about it!”
He pinches the bridge of his nose and tries to calm down. “What are you doing here.”
“I told you. I was invited.”
“I uninvited you.”
You scoff, “It's not your party, you moron.”
“JK invited you?”
“Yeah.” you shrug just to piss him off some more.
He stares at you for a moment, glaring but you glare back before he shakes his head and takes a deep breath. “Fine. But you're not leaving my side.”
You scoff but he grabs your shoulders tightly. 
“I mean it.”
“Stop touching me.” You slap his hands away, his touch fading away as you're about to open your mouth to curse at him some more.
Before you can do it, someone nudges him from the left side. Your brother is about to pounce but once he sees his best friend in the flesh, he stays down but not before he's reminded of what you told him. 
“What are you doing.” He questions your brother but he just scoffs in return.
“You invited her?”
Jungkook rolls his lip piercing as he shrugs, “I did.”
“Are you out of your mind?”
“Me? You invited her first if I recall.” 
Your brother stares at his friend in disbelief before he glances at you. You shrug, lifting your brown. 
“You two are fucking unbelievable.”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, probably thinking your brother is just dramatic. Which he is. While they're too busy arguing, you don't pay attention to anything that's being said. You shamelessly eye Jungkook, spotting how blurry his lips are from the make out session you witnessed a while ago. He's got a similar outfit like you've seen him during the day. The only difference is that he's wearing all black. 
“Listen you two, I will stay out of your sight, okay?”
“No fucking way!” Your brother argues while Jungkook sighs in exhaustion. 
“I'm just gonna have a few drinks and meet new people.”
“These people are not for you to meet or be friends with.”
“Who said anything about being friends?” you mutter, causing your brother to curse at you once more.
“No–” He stops you before you can interrupt him, “You invited her, so you will look after her.”
“Me?” JK frowns, disliking the idea. While you would be slightly offended by the lack of interest when it comes to you, you're also irritated that your brother here is acting the same. Only this time he's giving the responsibility to Jungkook. 
“Yes, you! You invited her, so you'll watch over her tonight. If anything happens to her, I will personally kill you,” 
God. He's so full of himself. If Jungkook wanted, he could knock him out with one punch. But you don't say it to hurt his male ego and boost Jungkook's one. It seems they're full of ego. 
“And I'm not joking.”
He brushes past you two and leaves angrily. To probably shove his tongue down to any first girl he sees. 
And from the looks of it Jungkook looks like he would rather much do the same. But then he looks at you, reminded of his current responsibility. You. 
“Listen–you don't have to look after me–I can handle my–”
“Are you okay?”
“What?”
He stares you down, not in the creepy way to stare at your body but almost looking for anything that could give him answers to his question.
“I've seen what happened.”
“You've seen it?” you breathe out, “I'm fine.”
“You sure?”
“I handled it.” you grit through your teeth.
“You did,” he agrees much to your surprise. “Or maybe you were just lucky.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” You trash with your hands, but he catches your wrist. Gently. But he has his hold on you and your breath catches in your throat. He pulls you closer.
“What if it was someone who wouldn't be so wasted? Hm?”
You gulp, glancing at his lips for a split second before you find his dark eyes on yours. “It happened with people around us. Someone would step in.”
He scoffs, “Don't count on it too much.”
“They would–”
“Some of them. Not all of them,” he informs you. 
You're reminded that he knows these parties. He knows how it's going. And while no one would mess with him personally, it doesn't mean everyone is as safe as him. Let alone any women. That much you've realized and you haven't even been here for a half an hour. 
“What if he waited until you're drunk to take you somewhere else?”
You breathe out shakily, “Stop.”
“What if he dragged you upstairs? And that's just the start of what he might've done.”
“Fucking stop.” you warn him with your eyes but he doesn't budge. 
He tames you like you're a fucking dog.
“Your brother's right. You're staying with me.”
“And staring at you making out all night?”
You shut your mouth as soon as your response gets out. Jungkook tilts his head tiniest bit to the side and the corner of his mouth lifts up. “You were watching.”
“It was hard not to. Everyone was watching.”
“That's not an excuse.”
You inch closer, licking your lips. “It wasn't supposed to be.”
He stares at your lips before his touch disappears and so its warmth does. “You're not leaving my side.”
You scoff but he glares at you which surprisingly shuts you up. 
“I can give you alcohol, you can have fun. But you're not leaving my side.”
“You're worse than my brother.” That's a stretch and you both know it, but you've never seen Jungkook acting like this. He never really cared. He never had to in the first place. That's what your brother was for. 
He inches closer, hovering over you like only his presence can. “I can be worse.”
And somehow, that sounds like a promise. Once he motions for you to follow him, you do like a lost poppy with gritted teeth and anger bubbling inside you. But you don't disobey. Perhaps it's the shock or the weird feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you buzz with excitement. 
Fuck. 
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It's not hard not to have a crush on someone like Jungkook. He's hot, he's confident but not in the way where he's full of himself. He has every reason to be confident.
And just like he promised, he has managed to give you drinks that surprisingly taste good. They're not too strong and something tells you he purposely picked those out for you. You don't complain. They don't cause you to make grimaces at every gulp and you can feel yourself relax. In the corner your brother watches you with glare, reminding you of something that should feel like punishment. 
Perhaps it does.
Jungkook has you seated next to him, back on the couch. The woman he made out with sits on the opposite side, sending daggers next to you. You roll your eyes very publicly, scoffing and making sure she sees you. 
“JK, can we go somewhere else?” You hear her annoying sweet voice, while Jungkook himself looks slightly irritated that he has you on his watch. “Upstairs?” she suggests.
“Sorry, love, can't.”
She huffs out, “Why? Because you're babysitting?”
You move sideways to face her, leaning through Jungkook as you glare at her. “Maybe he just doesn't want your tongue shoved in his mouth.”
Jungkook sighs, lifting his hand to your collarbones to move you back but you don't budge. 
“Oh yeah? He wants more than that.” she informs you. 
“God, you're so desperate.”
“Excuse me?!”
“Behave.” Jungkook warns you, pushing slightly harder and finally, you plop back onto your spot and fume with arms crossed. 
“Tell your bitch to behave.”
“Y/N.” Jungkook warns through his teeth. You stop, realizing that this is the first time he said your name. Still fuming, you give him a glare before standing up.
“What did you just call me?”
“Come on.” Jungkook stands up too before you can make things worse and he's going to be caught up in a girls fight. This is not the night he planned.
He doesn't drag you like your brother did. He still rests his hand against your back and leads you in a direction. You don't protest. You want to but anything's better than being in the blonde's presence one more second. 
When you realize you're standing next to your brother who's leaning against the wall, watching the two of you with a knowing and quite pleased smirk. 
“Dude. That's enough.”
“Are you having any issue with my sis, JK?”
Jungkook rolls his eyes, “You made your point.”
“No, I don't think I have.”
“You two are annoying.” he sighs, closing his eyes.
“Excuse me? What have I done?” you exclaim, hand on your chest as he gives you a knowing look that shuts you up.
It's more than clear. Jungkook has brought you to your brother, so he could deal with you rather than he has to. It bruises your ego, but only slightly because you don't let any guy do any permanent damage. But you have to be honest. It's slightly embarrassing how he wants to shake you off. Clearly his plans for tonight have been different and watching the blondie still waiting for him patiently makes your night even worse, knowing what exactly he had planned. 
“You made me a huge cockblocker, bro.” you interrupt their bickering. It feels refreshing not to be the one bickering with your brother. 
Which reminds you that for the first time, you actually see them in some sort of argument even though it's not exactly a fight. Your brother as always is a pain in the ass and Jungkook's now experiencing it. You don't understand why Jungkook just doesn't let you go? Why did he insist on having you by his side at all times? 
Most likely, he doesn't want to piss off your brother.
Jungkook throws you yet another glare, but you brush him off pretty easily. “It's not about that.”
You give him a look which makes him groan.
“It's not just about that.”
And then they continue again. Your brother complains about your presence here, blames Jungkook rather than your own decision to come. He knows you. He knows you've done it to mess with him and it worked. But he expected better from Jungkook. 
You don't want to hear any second of it any longer. You don't wait for Jungkook's response, not even when you see his frown deepen and you know he's getting angrier by every word your brother spits in his face.
Using the tiny chance where they don't pay you any attention, you distance yourself from them. When you're in a safe distance and are not stopped by one of them, you make a run for it. Grabbing a wine bottle from someone's hold, ignoring them complaining, you make it upstairs and try to find a place where you can be alone. Before they find you.
You know once they notice you're not there, they'll be looking for you. Well, your brother will for sure. Even though he can be a dick, he's worried. But let him. That's what he gets for not letting you enjoy tonight. 
Passing by people who either mingle or make out, you try a few doors that are locked. Wise decision. Another reason why Jungkook seems to know how these parties go. It seems almost impossible to find a place where no one is. 
Just when you become tired and desperate, you make it to the quieter part of the house. It's weird because there are people everywhere. It's impossible to find somewhere quiet and empty. 
Luckily for you, you end up in a room that seems to be some sort of office. It's medium sized, definitely not one of the biggest rooms in this massive house, but still bigger than your kitchen and room together. 
It seems Jungkook has forgotten to lock this room. There's nothing special about it though. But he definitely doesn't want anyone to have sex on the wooden desk you pass by. There are a few shelves with books and a lamp, but other than that it's pretty empty. Oh, and there's a small couch. It looks expensive but it seems like they've brought it here just to put it somewhere. Not that it doesn't fit in here.
But it definitely doesn't look as expensive as the furniture you've managed to see in your short stay here. What has it been? Two hours? Two awful hours and no fun. 
Making it onto a small balcony, you sigh in relief when you find it open. It's facing the back of the house and your mouth drops when you see a fountain, pool and a garden in the distance. He's filthy rich. His parents are.
Sitting on the cold ground, you take a sip of the wine. Your features scrunch in disgust but you force yourself to drink. It's more from the whole annoyance and anger you've been feeling ever since you came here.
Maybe they were right.
This place is not for you.
You have no idea how long you end up sitting there. 
You just stare, hearing the blasting music in the distance and the chatter of people. You wonder if any neighbor called the police on him. But they're in the distance, probably they don't hear it as much.
There's a forest around you. There are no cars, no barking and no city noise. You wonder how this place feels like when there's no party. It must be calm and relaxing.
“Here you are.”
You hear it as soon as the balcony door slides open, ignoring the hint of annoyance in his voice as you take another gulp.
“You can't disappear like that!”
You chuckle, “Really? Watch me.”
“Your brother went crazy when you disappeared.”
“Sounds like a him problem.” you shrug.
“Are you drunk?”
You give him a look, a lazy smile making it onto your face.
“Where did you get that?”
“You know this is the most you've spoken to me since I've known you.” you take a note out loud.
He ignores you though. “You're gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow.”
“Sounds like a me problem, no?”
“God, you're such a brat,” he groans, “And get off the ground, you're gonna get sick.”
Snorting, you shake your head. “You're acting just like my brother.”
“You're irresponsible.”
That causes you to get a whiplash from how fast you glare at him. “I am not. Y'all act as if I can't do things on my own. Not only does my brother try to control me and watch over my shoulder every goddamn minute, you started doing it too!”
“He's worried about you.”
“Whatever,” you grumble, “Go back to blondie and leave me alone. Or snitch to my brother about my whereabouts, I'm sure he will get me out of here.”
He stays though. He doesn't move and doesn't speak for a moment. Instead, he sighs and sits next to you. 
“I wanted you to have fun.”
“Well, that didn't work, did it?”
“Look at you,” he chuckles, nudging lightly on your shoulder. “You seem to have fun on your own.”
“Yeah, spending Valentine's Day alone on the balcony of my brother's best friend is just so much fun.”
He laughs. He actually laughs and gives you an approving nod once he realizes you're right. “You're not alone anymore.”
You give him a look but before he can elaborate, he motions toward the bottle in your hand with his head. 
“Give me that.”
“No, this is the only fun I have.”
“C'mon, I will drink with you.”
Your surprise comes out before you give him a suspicious look. “You will?”
“Yeah.” he agrees and takes the bottle you hesitantly give him.
He takes a small sip, not a few gulps as you expect him to. “Is that all you got?”
“For tonight, yeah.”
“Why?” you question.
“I will take you home.”
You scoff, but then he continues. 
“After you decide you wanna go home.”
“Really?” Your surprise makes it out again. “You're not gonna kick me out?”
“I would never kick you out.” 
You make a face, “But my brother–”
“Your brother can be a dick sometimes.”
“Woah.”
“Don't act like you don't know it.”
“I do, but I'm just surprised you're the one saying it.”
He sets the bottle on the other side of him. It doesn't go unnoticed by you but you decide not to fight with him, especially once you feel the alcohol doing its job. 
“Well, I've seen it from his side and I gotta be honest, he's protective. Sometimes overly but he's not doing it because he hates you, y'know?”
“I know he doesn't hate me,” you inform him. “It's just annoying sometimes.”
“But now I've seen more of your side and he should just let you live.”
You nod in appreciation with lips pursed, “Wow, thank you.”
He smiles, “You still do a lot of stuff just to get back at him. You're not making it any easier, huh?”
You laugh, “It's my rebellion.” 
You sit there for a moment in complete silence. Jungkook stands up and leaves. You act as if you're not disappointed but before you can reach for the bottle that Jungkook has left here, the door slides open again and Jungkook wraps a blanket around you. 
“Don't look so surprised.”
“Wow, JK does something nice for a girl?”
“I can do a lot of nice things.”
“Is there a double-meaning or?” you trail off, causing him to laugh as he shakes his head.
“Not like that.”
Yeah, because you're his brother's best friend.
Not that you would ever want something with him. Only in your most secretive dreams but that's beside the point. Jungkook is not boyfriend material. You've seen it today more than ever. But you can't deny that he attracts you in the weirdest way possible. You have never experienced that with anyone. 
He's your type. When it comes to looks. And you're slightly ashamed to admit that some of his behavior attracts you. Basically, it's a red flag but what do they say? I'm color blind?
“How are you not freezing?”
It's February and you're sitting on a balcony. 
“I'm drunk.”
God, you're going to end up sick. Even your drunk self scolds you. 
“You wanna go home?”
“Not yet.”
He nods, not protesting as you both stare ahead. Your thoughts run wild, even in their slow pace because of alcohol flowing in your system.
“I was so annoyed because today's Valentine's Day,” you start, chuckling at yourself. “At first I thought I was just annoyed because everyone's in love and everything about today is about love. I do think it's overrated though.”
“I don't know, I never cared about it to be honest.”
You laugh, “Did you make today's party for all anti-romanticists?”
“No, I would've done it either way.” he chuckles. 
“Did you ever make something romantic for Valentine's Day?”
He makes a face, frowning but silently laughing amusingly at the thought of it. “No.”
“You know what? I think I was more annoyed that secretly maybe I crave for something romantic. Not necessarily a relationship.”
“Or maybe you just feel the pressure of today's ridiculous holiday and people around you.”
You snort, “You're just saying that because you're not in love.”
“Love's not for me. Not that kind at least.”
“And what kind?”
“I loved our family dog.”
You laugh, “That's different. I'm not talking about that.”
“I know you don't. Just sayin', love has all forms.” 
You hum, sighing before you start shivering. 
“Come on, let's go inside. You're freezing.”
“But–”
“We don't have to go home.”
“Or maybe I should. I'm getting tired. And I think I'm gonna throw up.”
“You were mixing hard liquor with wine. You will.” he agrees and once you nudge him, he laughs at you. “C'mon, you little brat. It's time to go home.”
As he makes sure you don't fall on the stairs, giving you the support you almost stumble when your brother makes his way toward you, breathless and relieved once he sees you.
“Where the hell have you been?! I've been looking for you everywhere. We've been looking for you! Why do you have the blanket?”
“Found her on the balcony.”
“What were you doing there?!” He screeches.
“Don't worry, I wasn't going to jump. But if I'm gonna have to keep up with your annoying ass for one more second, maybe I will.”
“You're drunk.” He scoffs.
“And honest.” you add.
“And where are you going?”
“I'm gonna take her home.” Jungkook answers, helping you with the last step as your brother stares with mouth wide open. 
“Like the hell you will! You were drinking.”
“I wasn't,” he responds. “Not since I was with her anyway.”
“Doesn't mean you don't have alcohol in you.”
“I don't. I'm fine.”
You didn't even realize he wasn't drinking anymore. God. You really can be a pain in the ass too. But that's your brother's doing though. He should've never ordered Jungkook to look after you. 
“You're the one who reeks of alcohol,” Jungkook informs him calmly, “Or you want someone else to take her?”
He shakes his head, still hesitant. He walks closer to you and wraps the blanket tighter around your form. “Are you gonna be fine?”
“Yeah, I trust Jungkook. Don't you?”
“I do.” He doesn't hesitate. 
He gives one final nod to Jungkook as he leads you out of the house. As you're walking out of it, you spot blondie with a group of what seems like her friends, glaring the shit out of you. You stick out your tongue when Jungkook's busy opening the door for you. The look on your face causes you to smirk.
Jungkook gets you inside his flashy car and you're kinda doomed that you're too drunk to look around and appreciate the expensive type of vehicle. You're drifting in and out of your consciousness. But you notice Jungkook stopping in front of a convenience store, informing you he'll be right back. And he is. It seems like he's been gone for a minute because you close your eyes, open them and he's already there.
The drive and walk to your home is quick. You get to walk on your own, much to your embarrassment there are no accidents of stumbling or falling. As soon as you make it past your doormat, you make it inside your bathroom and throw up in the sink. It's embarrassing once you hear Jungkook behind you, helping you with your hair. He doesn't say anything, just letting you throw up everything that's currently in your stomach. 
“I should take a shower.”
“Fuck that. Go lay down. I will lock the door.”
“Lock?”
“Your brother gave me his spare keys.”
“Oh.”
After a few minutes of bickering, you still insist on taking a shower. Jungkook sighs and lets you do your own thing, patiently waiting in the living room. Once you make it out in your pajamas that consist of your brother's huge t-shirt, you find him scrolling through his phone. 
“You gonna be fine?”
“Yeah, yeah.” You're seconds from passing out. You might've stumbled in the bath a few times but you hope he didn't hear that. 
You drag your feet to your bedroom and fall onto bed. You'll cover yourself later. As soon as you lay down, you ignore your spinning head and the disgusting taste of vomit that is still present, even though you've brushed and rinsed your teeth even in your drunken state.
The night is wild.
You throw up a few times, finding a prepared bucket beside your bed but unfortunately, you don't make it into it the first time. Once you wake up with a messy and aching head, you notice vomits on your floor and you cringe at yourself. Disgusting. 
You wake up around twelve, finally in a better state to leave your eyes open without having to vomit everywhere. You're about to reach for your phone, knowing you're going to have at least a dozen messages from your brother. But you stop yourself as you stare at things that weren't on your nightstand before.
There's a glass of water. A box of painkillers and a chocolate bar wrapped in a package filled with pink and red hearts. 
There's a note stuck to it. 
'Happy Valentine's Day, JK'
You stare, reading the note over and over again. 
And they say romance is dead.
2K notes · View notes
poppadom0912 · 11 months ago
Text
Excuses
Warnings: Mentions of fainting, diabetes, canon-typical injuries
Summary: You suffer the consequences just because your teacher thought you were making excuses.
A/N: First fic of 2024!!! I had plans that I was going to post weekly in the new year just like last year but things went downhill. This january and february has had its very good but also really bad moments and even writing this was a struggle. I've found myself in a weird place of wanting to write but struggling and all of a sudden not being able to balance my schoolwork and writing. So I took a lil step back to solely focus on my work but looking at everything now, my fic updates will be much less frequent but hopefully just as or if not, more fun to read.
I feel bad for not saying or posting anything since the new year but I'm here now and hopefully will be more alive. I've got lots planned for you beautiful people, several series and way too many fics in my drafts that I cannot wait for you all to read. This wasn't as long or as juicy as I intended but my brain completely failed me so I hope this is good enough. I initially wanted to post this at the beginning of March but I finished the final editing today so here you go!!
Final note before we start, I have general knowledge about diabetes but that's all from my grandma. I have no idea if it's the same for teenagers so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Happy reading!!
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Your biology teacher had been on maternity for three weeks now and you were seriously contemplating life.
Because of the crappy rules surrounding maternity leave, when your teacher refused to return before her three months ended, your school had a supply teacher fill in for her till she came back.
Since day one, you knew you hated her.
It was mid lesson and you knew as soon as you started feeling sluggish that your sugar levels were dropping. Your thoughts were only confirmed when your Dexcom receiver let you know of your decreasing glucose.
This wasn't a usual occurrence. Will and Jay always made sure you had eaten enough and you had the means to maintain the needed glucose levels so that nothing happened.
Alas, you were up late revising and you were stressing about keeping up your good grades. Jay was rushing you out the door because he needed to go to a scene he'd just been called to and Will was out walking Kol and hadn't seen you leave.
In conclusion, it'd been a hot minute since you last ate something.
The school were well aware of your diabetes. It was one of the very important things your brothers stressed them about when you first started.
Most students knew about it actually, having seen your Dexcom and not understanding since a diabetic child apparently wasn't common according to them.
So, when you randomly pulled out a snack from your bag mid class, no one questioned it and instead would make sure you were okay. There'd never been a problem before in school and everyone wanted it to stay that way.
However, this new teacher, Mrs Byrne was apparently completely unaware of your medical condition.
"Y/N. You know the rules about eating in class." She said strictly, pulling away all the attention from the board onto you.
She stopped you in the middle of opening the packet of fruit gummies. You frowned, looking at her confused along with your classmates.
"I have diabetes." You said bluntly, continuing to open the packet. "I don't eat this and I'll pass out."
Mrs Byrne only rolled her eyes, smiling at you condescendingly. "I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, give those to me."
You scoffed at the audacity, refusing to hand over what was yours.
It was when she started walking towards your desk with a pep in her step that the entire class got involved. Their raised voices overlapped, some angrier than others over what was happening.
However, you too were Stubborn alike to your brothers so you kept as firm of a grip of the packet. You turned a blind eye to the anger fuelled cover teacher. You continued to smile as she spewed threats of all sorts.
Due to your frustration and annoyance over the teacher who wanted to take your gummies away, you didn't notice how everything started change; how hard it was to move your eyes and lips, your limbs getting heavier and you thoughts slowly getting muddled up.
Lost in a daze, you were no longer able to fight back when she pulled harder, successfully snatching the small packet out of your hands. It was now that the class got furious, your friends were already up and at your side but now they were verbally attacking the teacher.
Fed up with her petty behaviour, you were going to get up and go to the nurses office who would take care of you but getting out your seat was harder said than done.
With one of your friends help, you weren't too sure who was helping you from your hazy sight that cleared when you blinked too many times.
You were wobbly on your feet, taking slow and hesitant steps towards the front of the classroom but before you could leave, you felt your legs give out and everything went black.
*****
It turned out that supposed crime scene that he was imminently needed at was nothing but a prank by a bunch of college boys resulting in a grumpy Hank putting them in cuffs and having them fined for a very reasonable reason.
That's how the rest of the unit found themselves finishing up paperwork, catching up about life in general as they debated what they were getting for lunch.
Jay was smugly sitting back, eyes flickering between Kevin and Adam who were bickering over something trivial when his phone rung, catching everyone's attention.
They were all so bored and normally when one of their phones went off during work hours, it meant something came up and they were needed.
In interest, everyone turned their heads towards Jay and waited for him to tell them they got a crime scene.
Picking up his phone, Jay's brows furrowed at the number, confused as to why your school was calling him in the middle of the day. They'd only call him if two things happened: You'd gotten in trouble or you got hurt.
"Hello. Is this Y/N Halsteads brother Jay?" A voice he couldn't recognised asked, most likely some lady from the main office.
"Yeah, that's me." Jay confirmed, sitting up in preparation for whatever he was going to be told.
"So sorry to interrupt you sir but Y/N collapsed in class." The lady said with guilt laced in her words. "Your other brother didn't pick up the phone. We called to let you know we had to call the paramedics and they've taken her to Chicago Med."
"Uh yeah." Jay said, collecting his jacket and keys. "Yes, thank you."
Not waiting for a reply, Jay hung up and quickly knocked on Hank's office door frame.
"Sarge, I gotta get Y/N-"
"Go get her. We're done here."
*****
Wanting to pull his hair out, Will rubbed his eyes in frustration, glaring at his patients scans that only confused him further. He was tired and was coming to half way through his twenty four hour shift.
"Dr Halstead- Uh, Dr Rhodes in T4." Maggie stumbled, looking down at her brick and making sure she read it correctly.
"What's wrong?" Will asked, confused as to why Maggie changed her mind which she usually never did.
"It's Y/N."
Now fully awake, Will followed Connor towards the ambulance bay where you were being rolled in. You were groggily sitting up on the stretcher, you hair a mess and a few scratches around your face and hands from when you fell.
"Sylvie, what happened?" Will asked the blonde paramedic while looking you over. He desperately wanted to check you over himself but let Connor do his thing. He really did not need Ms Goodwin on his case today.
"Teachers didn't tell us much but her classmates said she collapsed after not being able to eat." Sylvie relayed the minimal information she knew, shrugging her shoulders when the two doctors looked at her weirdly. "No one would tell us anything more."
"Y/N, it's Connor. Can you hear me kid?" Connor said while pulling out his penlight. He was like another brother to you, his concern just as high. "Can you tell me what happened?"
You groaned, mumbling nonsense with your eyes screwed closed. Your words were mostly unintelligible but Will understood them mere seconds later.
Fixing the problem you complained about, Will turned down the lights and let Connor continue fussing over you.
It didn't take long to find out the cause of your collapse, Will sighing at the news when he read the numbers from your tests.
"I thought she was always on top of her sugar levels." Connor said, closing the room door so you could sleep in peace.
And what he said was completely true but they weren't aware of why you couldn't today specifically of all days.
"She is." Will said, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe her dexcom malfunctioned or something."
Connor hummed, agreeing with his friend.
"Hmm, maybe."
*****
Arriving at Med, Will gave Jay a detailed rundown of everything he new about your medical state but also the events pre your hospital arrival.
Getting a good look at you, holding your hand in his and kissing you on your forehead, Jay was more than happy to leave you in your oldest brothers safe hands while he got to the bottom of this entire ordeal.
He noticed Sylvie was still at Med, Foster mentioning they were running low on a few supplies so they needed some stocking up. Jay took this opportunity to interview the two paramedics and try to get further understanding on this situation that wasn't making much sense to him.
Arriving at your school, Jay had some thoughts in mind but they weren't very concrete and his confidence wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.
Walking into the school, Jay immediately noticed an entire class sitting and standing around in the corridor waiting in front of the principals office.
One of the girls who had been sitting in a chair had caught sight of Jay, her eyes widening before she smiled, gently nudging the girl next to her and pointing in his direction. The girls reaction was the exact same.
This created a sort of domino effect as the boy next to her noticed Jay and everyone was telling the other of his sudden arrival. The once silent corridor was now beginning to fill with murmurs and whispers, all their eyes glued onto his figure that moved down the corridor, their shocked faces quickly changing into smiles and smirks.
It seems that Jay had a reputation of sorts.
"Why are you making so much noise? What did I just say about talking-"
The principal cut himself off from his scolding when he suddenly noticed Jay's presence, his face blanching as all the pieces clicked into place.
"Detective Halstead! What a surprise, we weren't expecting to see you so soon-"
This time Jay cut him off, not too bothered about his lack manners. "My brothers with Y/N at the hospital so I thought there was no other perfect time."
The principal remained silent.
"Now, why don't you explain to me why my sister fainted under your watch?"
The students behind Jay couldn't help but snicker knowingly.
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like-a-omen · 6 months ago
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Best friend! Noah thoughts because he's been on the brain alot lately
18+ below the cut minors DNI
Best friend noah would definitely sit there and watch you try on all the new clothes you just bought just to wait till you finished trying stuff on to pull you to the bed and eat you out because you was already in just your underwear why waste a good opportunity?
Best friend noah would secretly love it when you get bored watching him play video games because that means gaming head and that's definitely in his top 3 favourite kinds of head from you
Best friend noah would always get you flowers on February 13th never the 14th because that's valentines day and that's for couples, but deep down he wants to make sure you have something nice to wake up to on valentines day because he's a big softie that cares
Best friend noah waking up in the middle of the night after you'd both accidentally fallen asleep to whatever show you both wasn't really watching, being too preoccupied with eachother initially to care about the show. The glow from the TV is just enough to see you in the dark sleeping peacefully cuddled into him he smiles to himself before pulling you closer, he won't admit it but it's moments like these that he cherishes and secretly hopes that no other man gets to have with you.
Best friend noah suggests a new games night tradition. Whoever loses the chosen game you guys play that night has to give the winner victory head, however after round one the game is quickly forgotten as it doesn't take long for the prize to escalate into noah thrusting into you. As you both lay there catching your breath, he can't help but turn to you with that goofy smirk on his face "so wanna lose again?"
Best friend noah calling you up all excited because the anime you both had been waiting what felt like forever for the next season had finally dropped, before you know it he's in your bed the array of snacks and drinks spread out in preparation for binging the whole season in one sitting.
I hope you all enjoy the best friend noah brainrot has hit me like a train lately
Its not much and definitely not the greatest but I'm tempted to give writing a bit more of a go this was quite fun to create 😊
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sil-te-plait-tue-moi · 5 months ago
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When the pawn hits the conflicts, he thinks like a king.
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Quick summary: Rust catches you trying to work him.
Word count: 754 words
Warnings: N/A
A/N: Another attempt at trying to get past the astronomical writer's block I experienced after writing The Idler Wheel. This was one of my first tries at a second chapter (in like February T_T), like a little scene, but I didn't like th way it panned out: it felt like they were fighting and I didn't necessarily want them to fight explicitly with each other in the final story. If this feels unfinished, it's because I abandoned it after ten minutes. ENjoy!!!!@
***
“Are you lonely again?” he asks quietly.
If I didn’t know better, I’d think he couldn’t be paying attention to me: eyes fixed on the moon, which is full like a plate, so distant, as if he’s imagining a different life up there; even his body is tilted away from me, like, really, I could burn him. But I do know him. I can’t get it out of my head: I can’t stop interpreting every little thing he does. It started as a pass-time, an excuse to steal glances at the handsome, quiet guy at work. Now, it’s obsessive. No-one knows him, watches him, like I do. No-one else has been with him like I have. There’s a calmness to this fact: in that way, he’s mine. That’s the only way.
Rust angles his head towards me, but he doesn’t look. Maybe I should be glad for it. “You were lonely in the summer, weren’t you? That’s why you wanted me then. Somethin’ to make you feel real.”
Every fibre of mine twitches to disagree with him, to defend myself, my actions—but there’s no way I could do anything without condemning myself. If attachment is a burden to Rust, then how disgusted will it make him when he uncovers just how much I really think about him?
“I don’t appreciate bein’ treated like this sheep you can herd into a pen.”
“I’m not tryin’—”
“Does the intention really matter if the action’s already taken effect?” he cuts off calmly, finally, with an accusing dart of his eyes to shut me up for good measure. When I grow silent again, he continues: “Quittin’ cigarettes doesn’t make a person into what you are right now. You value how people perceive you — that’s how you measure your worth, right? That’s not uncommon. But the way you act out—?” he clicks his tongue, “—well, I didn’t figure that out till later. The way you’re genuine only when you think it doesn’t matter. Makin’ small talk and smilin’ like you do. You’re a well-liked person, know that?” He pauses to take a lazy drag of his cigarette. “But then, when you think the stakes are high, you’re somethin’ different. Some changeling, vyin’ to get what you want, so cunning. Other people don’t see it, but I do. When your niceties stop bein’ second nature; when you have to think about it, plan, strategise. Like you’re almost a person but not quite anymore. Why is that?”
I blink at my shoes, brimming with confusion. For every word that leaves him, I try to scrub it clean to find any inclination of what he’s feeling, only to come away confused.
“I couldn’t blame you when you were drunk,” he confesses. “But I’m glad for this talk — true colours ‘n’ shit.”
What the fuck? My face sours into a dangerous scowl as my hard stare snaps up to bore into the side of his self-satisfied face. “You’re lookin’ to blame me?”
Rust stares off into the dark, shaking his head. “No. But I want to. I tell myself that the only reason you showed up at my door was ‘cause you were drunk and you were lonely. That you missed Brooklyn, or you missed your family. I was the next best thing to offer you comfort: this idea you had of me in your head. You thought, maybe, I’d want to take care of you. And to convince me to do that, you just had to take that first step o’ sleepin’ with me.” He exhales slowly, eyes fluttered shut, and his lithe fingers tremble around his cigarette. “That’s what you’re doin’ now, ain’t it? You’re tryin’ to get me because you’re lonely again, for whatever reason.”
Holy shit, he is one conceited bastard. “Have you ever considered I might just like you?” I hiss incredulously, eye twitching.
Rust tenses.
A dog barks alone in the neighbourhood over.
“Some things aren’t complicated at all,” I mumble, leaning back against the damp brick with a quivering sigh. “You wanna know what it was? I thought you were attractive and would never want to talk to me, so I didn’t. But I liked the way you talked behind my back — Johansson liked you for that, too. And I liked the way you tip at bars. And then, suddenly, people weren’t people. They were all shades of you. A guy smoked like you. And the precinct isn’t where I work; it’s where you work. It’s where I get to see you.”
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haveyouplayedthisttrpg · 15 days ago
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A 2024 retrospective
It's the 15th of december and I don't think there will be a lot happening in the last weeks of the year. I will schedule polls until the 22nd and then it's a break till it's 2025. In the mean time, let's do a little retrospective of my year
Running a Poll Blog
In February I started this blog. As of writing, we've had 529 games and i'm sure there's some "big names" that haven't been polled yet. And we haven't got the big D game either. Don't worry, there will be a special day for it.
Anyway thank you all for voting, rebloging and submitting. I am glad to be part of the tumblr ttrpg community.
Playing TTRPG
I like stats. I like having sheets for thing like sessions played, whole collection and my bed.
This year I have played 51 sessions total. It's actually a 50/50 of online and in-person (26-25). Being in a ttrpg club really helps (21 sessions). I also played a lot on @anim-ttrpgs discord book club, great place ( and it's no wonder that Eureka is one of my most played this year).
I mostly played One shot ( 25 sessions)
I was a GM only 19 times, that was a vacation.
My busiest month was July with 10 sessions, that was.... a month.
My most played game this year are :
1 Knight an avalon RPG
2 Eureka
3 Triangle Agency
4 City of mist, The Dark Eye and Vaesen
In total I played 24 official games plus 4 different home systems
Game Design
I had a long pause of writing games. This year, I went out of my funk, created and published again. It felt good. I wanna thank the Nagademon and the Anim TTRPG communities for this.
I published Cooking in Dungeon : a solo larp game for those who have no idea what to cook for their meals
The TCG Oracle : a game that uses any trading card game cards for gmless adventures.
Chaos at Cosplay Con : Everyone at the con became their cosplays. Some lost their mind to the characters, but you didn't and now your group needs to get out before the costume consumes you.
A TTRPG addict
I love ttrpg, I wouldn't run this blog otherwise.
This is seen by my ever growing collection, both books and pdf. I bought games that I discovered thanks to this blog. The blog also made me think about where my games come from, and I tend to consume locally a lot, either with original creations or translations.
I am also impatient (the main reason i learned english is because the english manga scans were further ahead than the french ones) and a good target for FOMO so i often pledge for crowdfunding projects. I am waiting on a lot of them still, mostly pdf, I have my own trello to keep track of them.
Good thing with pdf : they don't take place on the shelves and you don't pay an import tax on them. Bad thing : you can't use them to build a house out of books cause your addiction went awry.
Here's to 2025
Here's to a new year that I hope will be better than the last, and so forth for any future year. May I not lose myself between too many projects and ideas and not finish any of them. I have already started a new one this december, somewhat anonymously and already I hate the white page in front of me.
And here's to staying on tumblr cause it's my trashcan thank you very much, and I will only leave by the force of the bayonets.
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justcubbystuff · 1 year ago
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Things that you two do from the moment you started dating.
Headcannons, Izuku ft. Y/n
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There's no doubt that at first Izuku was pretty shy, but you could still feel how happy he was to now be in a relationship with you. How? By the little gestures he'd do for you.
Like buying you your favorite drink or little snack, it might not look like alot, but when he shyly walked over and gave it to you with that soft smile, it was worth way more to you.
Now that you guys have been going out for a moment, Izu got comfortable around you...Like now he's way more clingy and you think it's a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e.
Not that you aren't either.
If it's not you holding onto his arm or his hand.
It's him always needing to either hold hands with you, touch your back gently or hug you everytime he sees you. It gets worse as you guys get older and his confidence grew (but anyways).
You sometimes will spoil him, just like he does with you, buying a snack or drink that you know he likes. Most likely something with All Might on it. If not some of his merchandises.
Like he has a book about heroes, he has one dedicated only to you, what you like, dislike and everything. And at first he didn't know—but now you've showed him—, you made a notebook just like his but about HIM. From his normal side to his hero. You only showed him because one day he was feeling down and bringing himself down and you wanting him to realize how great and sweet he is, showed him—with embarrassed flush— but a proud expression.
People seeing that might think you two are creepos, but you are just deep in love and so obsessed—in a cute, sweet way—that you want to remember everything about the other.
For you two, the best date is either going to study together, especially about heroes, do some spare training or simply cuddle in one of your dorms while watching a movie....Even though we both know you both are mainly focused on each other.
After a few months of dating, February arrived, you nervously holding onto the matching rings you got for both of you. You didn't know if he'd be comfortable with it. You waited till the end of Valentine's Day to talk about it to him, showing the two jade colored rings with a shaky hold.
You just don't know how important that is to him, he was extasic. Like. He always wears it, mostly forgetring to take it off every night. Always falling asleep as he looks at it with a smile, a small kiss on it as he thinks of you and have the best dreams. Especially after a long hard day.
If he's training or working, he puts it on a necklace so he always has it with him, holding you close to his heart in a way. And so do you, since the day you saw him do so. What can I say, the people you love always inspire you.
When people think that only men should give flowers to their love, you are the one who sometimes go to his dorm when he's not there and puts some flowers in his flower vase. And when he comes back, he sees it and it never fails to make him feel all bubbly and send you a small “Thank you sweetie. I love them ❤”, And the next day you find a bouquet of flower laying on your bed with a small message with his handwriting "DATE♡´・ᴗ・`♡" on it with a date and time.
It's all about the little things they say. People also say that a couple would be "awestruck" only for like a month or two, but you guys even after that are still acting like a new couple. Writing some little love notes and little doodles, and sneaking throwing it at each other during class—unless it's All Might's of course— smiling like idiots as you glance at each others before focusing back on the teacher speaking or whatever you guys where doing.
You nicknamed him in your phone “My little Broccoli🥦❤” while he has you nicknamed as “My little Sunflower❤🌻”. And that ain't gonna change, maybe to “Hubby Broccoli” and “Wifey Sunflower” as you two grow older.
Sharing is lovez right? You always share your food with him and Izuku will happily give you some of his. Even though most of the time he ends up finishing your food since he has more appetite than you. But he's a strong hero and he needs all those calories to fight and have lots of energy, so you will always gladly help him with that.
It had become a routine for Izuku to try and find a shirt to wear only to end up seeing you wearing it later that day. He doesn't mind it, on the opposite he loves seeing you in his clothes...Makes him feel like people will know that you are his. Only his.
When Deku merchandise started being sold, you were always quick to be one od the first ones to have them. And so now your rooms are full of his things, just like Midoriya with his All Might collection. Don't forget that he has your merchandises too. Not gonna lie, he might like that as much as All Might's—if not more—ahem.
When it would get cold, you two always have one long arse scarf so you both can share it and be closer to each other. And Izuku always make sure your hands are never cold by either having your hand in his pocket, holding it with his own, or by giving you his gloves if you didn't yours with you.
You might not want to admit it, but you both are a bit of clums when it comes to each other...Especially when you try to impress(at the beginning of your relationship it was the WORST). Sometimes you both get nervous and simply become a little mess and embarrass yourself instead. Either it is by saying bye and walking into a wall or door frame since you or him weren't looking at where you were going, sending a love text to his/your mother, tripping on your own feet or even messing up his or your name from being too excited or hyped about something you/he wanted to tell him/you.
He would try to go talk to Aizawa at one point so he could change place and sit by you, even if he knew the class was placed in a alphabetical order.
You are not one to spend aimlessly, until... it comes to your boyfriend. If you are out with some friends or on your own and see something you think would fit Izuku or that he'd like, without hesitation you go in and buy it.
While he will always go out of his way to buy a snack or a little something you like and give it to you directly or place it on your bed, wrapped up with a small note. Especially if you had a bad day or you are on your period. ♡
Playing with each other's hair is just so calming and comforting for both of you. You might gently play with his hair as he study or he might be found playing with yours when you're talking with your friends.
There's no stopping you two cuties.
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hobisstar · 1 year ago
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scratches |short jjk headcanon
just a little something about jungkooks love for you scratching him
•personally i think kook absolutely loves to show off your scratches
•but with the business he is in, he needs to constantly get them covered
•he always say
• ‘Scratch me so i can wear proof of your release’
•that is something that he absolutely will proudly wear
• alittle too proud though
• ‘jungkook i told your back can not look like this! people will start to assume things,’
•thats what his make up stylist will say to him
• he shrugs each time but he knows how difficult it is to cover them.
•some look like you are a werewolf and tried to kill him
•some look like kitten scratches
•some look like bear attacks
• one time there was definitely an nail indentation on his back and the makeup team was extremely shocked
•another time it led to his lower back
•glad he was wearing long black clothing
• he wants to get your scratches tattooed somewhere on his sleeve
• he gets your scratches youll get his hickeys
•fair trade
•hes very particular about your scratches too
• its weird but he only wants them on his back
•one time it was on his shoulders and he was a little sad
• he felt as though you didnt full cum when you explained to him that you were scared to keep scratching at his back
•leaving so many marks you know its such a hassle to cover
•especially the deeper ones
•moral of the story is he wants all of your scratches
•never hold back on them claws girlies
—————————————————
happy thanksgiving my babes! this is just something i wanted to write for you guys! honestly im thinking of taking a break till maybe January or february? just so you know i can focus on myself and mental health. im fine, yes, but still need a reboot lol.
happy holidays!
hobisstar signing off! 🫶🏽🤝🏽
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usopps-devotee · 2 years ago
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can you PLEASE write some fluff/comfort for your angst Luffy writing? 😫 i wanna give him forehead kisses and cuddles PLEASE
(it was amazing btw!!!)
Anon I know what you asked for but imma make this a series and giving this to yall next time, but life has been interesting (derogatory) since the beginning of February 😋
Pt 1 not your fault
Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, like one mention of blood, no harm tho its used as an expression, please know it's okay to ask for help sometimes, mention of skipping meal.
Wc 1.3k
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It's been some time since you found him crying, the only immediately noticeable change is Luffy seems to be more aware of you and touch you than before. Maybe that's why he noticed your disappearance today. The reason why he's noticed every flinch within the last week, the tears that started to well up but didn't fall when you dropped a teacup, trying your best to laugh it off as Sanji and robin assured you it was okay. The moment of deep breaths after any loud sounds, Luffy swears he saw your soul leave your body when Usopp and Franky started to try something new with Sunny's cannon. Zoro was there to notice the last one too joking about you being jumpy, your captain surely noticed you becoming quieter after that moment.
So when he walked into your room without knocking, he didn't mind being hit in the face with the pillow you threw. Not knowing or caring who it might have been, only focused on the darkness of being hidden under the covers. You heard his footsteps come closer as he tried to figure out where your head was. When it was located he sat down and pulled you into his lap. Not bothered to move the plush fortress you are surrounded in. Being so close to him helped, your body relaxed at the contact, not knowing how much you may have needed the connection.
"You missed breakfast, Sanji said you missed dinner as well." 
Knowing this isn't exactly about the missed meals, while he is worried about that, it's more so the fact that you haven't left your room. Being one of, if not the most, cuddly members of the crew seeing you spend so much time alone was jarring to him. After all, if Luffy had a problem he came to you. So why couldn't you do the same, was he the problem? Is someone else on the ship? What could be disturbing you so much?
The worst part is if you were honest, you didn't have a clue. You had just been feeling wrong, completely off without reason. Now that your captain has found you alone and distressed, it only makes the tangles and knots in your gut feel worse. Guilt plagued you as you didn't have to see his face to know that his wide eyes had been staring down at you for any movement, for any symptom that you could be getting better or worse. For any kind of response really, he just hopes it's not more remorse. When he does finally feel you move it's a good 30 seconds of trying to get one hand out of the blanket before you're tugging him closer. There's the feeling of his arms wrapping around your body as his heartbeat can now be heard through the thick blanket. You're not sure how much it helped but it definitely helped the tears stuck in your eyes finally fall.
You feel yourself starting to shake as a voice in the back of your head tells you you're being dramatic. You have no clue what started this ache, with him here you can't push it down till it goes away like you were trying to do. It bubbles up and slowly consumed you, not able to pinpoint whatever emotion this is all you can focus on is how overstimulating everything is. You can't concentrate on his heartbeat anymore, you can hardly breathe. Choking on the first sob before you feel it come up. There's nothing to hide, you're mental state is as scattered as paint across a floor. Desperate for something, anything, to ground you. Luckily luffy is still there, peeling the covers off from over your head, you're too trapped in it to notice that most of the movement isn't coming from you.
He's worried about you hyperventilating, the last thing he wants is for you to pass out at a time like this. You haven't even told him what's wrong yet. You helped him with him and he wants to do the same, he wants to solve it if he can. He made sure to take things slowly, not rushing to any conclusions, just being there in the moment. Seeing your face filled with tears made him want to jump into action. There has to be something he can do to get them to stop. All he could think to do was hold you close, going as far as to place the shank's hat on your head to see if that would help. Everything only made you sob harder.
The hand thought placed on his chest now balled into a fist gripping his shirt for dear life, the other wrapped around his shoulders so you buried your face in his neck. It's highly plausible the rest of the crew can hear your despair, as your captain Luffy would make sure you are not teased for this, just as he put Zoro through a mini hell for laughing at you days before. He wants to treasure you, you're the only one who lets him feel human, let him feel and express instead of hiding behind his smile. He's so lost in his thoughts he almost missed you speak.
"Thank you."
It's hushed and horse, no surprise as all you've done today is sleep and cry. But it's the only thing you can think to say. To your surprise, those two little words shocked Luffy. Why are you thanking him? He hasn't done anything yet? Were you just overwhelmed? Now he's just as lost in your emotions as you are. He really doesn't want to rush, nor does he know how to ask. Confusion is written across his face, he does reach one conclusion. Touch helps, he helped him, it was helping you, so what had you done that night that when you comforted him? He's brought back to the kiss you placed on his forehead, full of warmth and comfort, maybe the same would work for you.
Sheer embarrassment, terror, and panic flooded through your system as Luffy tiled your chin up towards his face. Causing more tears to well up and fall but he kisses them all away. Starting from where they would gather and fall off your chin he worked his way up one side of your face, kissing all the tears he could see and then the corner of your eye before moving to the other one. For the first time in days you smile, you smile, it's not faked, forced, or caused by nervousness. None of it, it's a real, genuine smile. It makes Luffy beam from ear to ear as he now sprinkled kisses anywhere he could reach. It makes you laugh, he's never been happier to hear the sound of your laughter. He'd kiss you forever if it meant you'd never be sad again. But he still had that nagging question in his gut.
"What made you cry in the first place?" He almost reconsidered the question when the smile immediately dropped from your face. Maybe he should have asked another day or basked in it a bit longer. "I- I don't know, I just- everything feels so-" Wrong, out of order, discombobulated. Like your heart has been thrown against a wall just to see the blood splattered. There's definitely a strong emotion behind this all but you're struggling to articulate it. Whatever it might be. "It's fine if you don't know, just tell me how to help, okay?" You nodded thinking, trying to get your mind out of the dark place that it currently resides in. The only thing that has helped so hard was him, his voice, his arms, the sound of his heart beating, his smell, his kisses, everything about Luffy rang with comfort there was nothing else you could want or need but him.
"Please just don't let me go."
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mayullla · 2 years ago
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Hello again ahaha <3 I really love this little event and I absolutely love your writing so much!! ♥️♥️
Alsp Can I request Yan Ayato with 🦋 reader + 🍀?
Title: Valentine Chocolates
Character(s): Ayato (Genshin Impact) Summary: Your husband Ayato has gotten you valentine's chocolates. Warnings/tags: Yandere themes, Fem!reader, drugging, aphrodisiac or you can think of it as a love potion, force marriage (husband and wife), force feeding (technically? not really? but just in case.) Note: You are so sweet thank you so much! ^^
[ - A little present~! Event - Closed - ]
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You sighed when the maid called your name. Anger and annoyance swelled in your heart yet you tried to keep it within yourself when she told you that your husband was calling for you. "Tell him that I go right after I finish my hair." You told the maid, another maid was combing your hair. The maid who brought the message bowed before closing the door.
You looked at yourself in the mirror and could not help but sigh. Forced into this marriage you wanted nothing more than to avoid your husband who had shackled you. Yet almost every day he would call you and unable to deny even a quarter of them you gave up.
"You have called me?" You asked after he had told you to come in. Walking into his office you sat down on the opposite side of the table away from his reach. His face was stiff when he saw your actions but quickly smiled. You knew you have angered him.
"You are here, what took you so long?" Ayato asked as if wondering why you haven't arrived the moment he called you. You knew that he knew already the reason while you faced yourself to smile. "I was fixing my hair, my lord." You told him with a soft voice holding back its sharpness. "I apologize for my tardiness."
"We are husband and wife what good is a husband who does not show patience towards his wife who got dolled up just for him." You wanted to cringe at his words hating as he made sure to coat everything ever so sweetly. "My dear, you should stop being so formal with me I am your husband."
Your eye twitched at his words but still kept the smile on your face only choosing to bow as if apologizing that you would continue to be formal towards your own husband as if you were still uncomfortable with him when you weren't supposed to be so. You and he had promised to be together till death after all.
Even if you didn't want it.
"Hmm... never mind then I haven't called you here just to tell you that you should be comfortable around me." Standing up Ayato went to a corner of a room with a drawing, opening the shelf he came back with a box in his hand as you looked upon it curiously.
"Here. I would like to give my wife chocolates. I heard that youngsters have this trend of giving chocolates to their crushes on February 14. Even Ayaka had prepared them. I figured that you would appreciate this romantic gesture." Ayato took a seat right beside you too close for comfort as you instinctively moved away just a little. You saw the small bonbons decorated elegantly inside the box when he opened it.
"It is usually the woman who would give the chocolates to the man she chooses not the other way around." It was a desperate excuse not to take them, but you knew that it was all useless.
When you saw his smile widen a little more, you knew he thought that was a lame excuse too. "Well, I thought that it would be better for me to do it seeing that my wife is rather forgetful at times too busy to find time for small events like these." He said gently.
"I just want a moment with my lovely wife who has been alone after all this time." You flinched when you felt something solid touch your lips as the faint smell of sweetness reach your nose.
"What..." You tried to pull away however Ayato's fingers that were holding the chocolate continued to follow your lips. Tilting his head he chuckled at your flustered state, "Why it is only proper for me to spoil my wife myself sometimes."
"...This is unnecessary."
"But I want to do so and surely you are not gonna deny your husband's wish are you?" You looked at the chocolate and then at the man who forced you into this situation smiling happily at you, patiently waiting. You knew that you won't be leaving this room unless you follow his whims so you hesitantly opened your mouth letting the chocolate fall into your mouth. "That's good."
"This pin would look lovely on you dear." Ayato raises his hand to touch the clip that was on your hair. "It goes well with your kimono." Taking out another chocolate he places it on your lips as you finished eating the first one. You were about to say something to stop but he didn't let shushing you as he plops another chocolate into your mouth. You felt almost like a child because of his actions as you forced yourself to bite the chocolate again.
"We have been married for 3 months now, I have been a little busy as of late so I wasn't able to be by your side for the most part. I apologize." He grabbed another chocolate looking at the small bonbon deep in thought. You wonder what he was thinking, to be honest, he shouldn't have to apologize as you did prefer him to be busy. The more he was busy the more time you didn't have to be with him.
"?!" You watched Ayato move the chocolate closer to his lips thinking that he was going to eat it only to be taken back when you saw his kissing the chocolate between his fingers. His eyes looked at you, something was there in them that you choose to ignore and look away from him to the other side of the room.
"But I should be less busy now. All the important things have been done and the more minor things can either be pushed back or someone else could take over." You understood what he was talking about and you dreaded it. Moving your face to face him Ayato placed the chocolate right on your closed lips. "Say ahh, dear."
You didn't have a choice.
"There.. that's good." Ayato chuckled at your reluctance but continued to feed you chocolates as he started to talk about work and how easy it was to catch the nobles who planned to go behind his back. His voice which was once so clear and annoying started to grow blurry as you tried your best to focus on eating the chocolates that he would slowly place into your mouth. It was hard to focus as heat surged into your body, and cold sweat started to form on your back. What's wrong with you...
One more chocolate was about to be placed into your mouth as you opened it to accept the fingers holding it yet it stopped before it could place the chocolate in. You squint impatiently waiting for the chocolate as you look up at Ayato wondering why had he not given you the chocolate yet.
The chocolate that was close to your lips slowly pulled away and placed back into the tray much to your dismay as you almost snapped at your husband for the fact that he would not feed you the chocolates only to be silenced when his hand reached for your cheek cupping it as his eyes expressed concern.
"My dear, your face is red. Do you have a fever?" Ayato asked as he watched you panting, unable to handle the heat his cool hand felt almost like a luxury when he touch your cheek. You looked at his hand and wondered what he had put on the chocolate to make you like this yet you could not pull away from his hand leaning to it as if you have found comfort in it.
You looked up towards Ayato's face seeing his face flushed red, looking so seductively at you amused at your expression. His lips curled in an amused smile as he looked at your lightly parted mouth.
"What an adorable wife you are."
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dreambigdreamz · 3 months ago
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assigning LaDS men their TTPD theme songs and specific lyrics
go and open up the entire album with the LaDS in your mind uwu i swear this is too much angst but like not the whole song but vibes <333 someone please write fics on these
Fortnight — Zayne
(I was supposed to be sent away but they forgot to come and get me/ I was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic)
(All my mornings are Mondays stuck in an endless February/ I took the miracle move-on drug, the effects were temporary)
(And for a fortnight there we were together/ Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater/ Now you’re at the mailbox, turned into good neighbours)
The Tortured Poets Department — Rafayel
(You left your typewriter at my apartment/ Straight from the Tortured Poets Department/ I think some things I’ll never say like “Who uses typewriters anyway?”)
(But you awaken with dread/ Pounding nails in your head/ But I’ve read this one where you come undone/ I chose this cyclone with you)
+ The entire chorus and bridge 💀
(At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on/ And that’s the closest I’ve come to my heart explodinggg 🎆 🎆 )
My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys — Xavier
(Oh here we go again/ The voices in his head/ Called the rain to end our days of wild/ The sickest army doll/ Purchased at the mall/ Rivulets descend my plastic smile/ But you should have seen him when he first got me)
(There was a litany of reasons why we could have played for keeps this time/ I know I’m just repeating myself/ Put me back on my shelf/ But first pull the string and I’ll tell you that he runs because he loves me [he loves me ✨ sings in delulu ✨])
(Just say when I’d play again/ He was my best friend down at the sandlot/ I felt more when we played pretend/ Than with all the Kens/ Cuz he took me out of my box)
Down Bad — Sylus
(Did you really beam me up/ In a cloud of sparkling dust?/ Just to do experiments on/ Told me I was the chosen one/ Show me that this world is bigger than us/ Then sent me back where I came from/ For a moment I knew cosmic love)
(Did you take all my old clothes/ Just to leave me here naked and alone?/ In a field in my same old town/ That somehow seems so hollow now/ They’ll say I’m nuts if I talk about the existence of you/ For a moment I was heaven struck)
+ The chorus and bridge like, justlistennn
So Long, London — Rafayel
(I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist/ I kept calm and carried the weight through the rift/ I pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away)
(And you say I abandoned the ship/ But I was going down with it/ My white knuckle dying grip/ Holding tight to your quiet resentment)
(You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?/ I died on the altar waiting for the proof/ You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days/ And I’m just getting color back into my face/ I’m just mad as hell cause I loved this place)
(For so long, London/ Had a good run/ One moment of warm sun/ But I’m not the one/ So long, London/ Stitches undone/ Two graves, one gun/ You’ll find someone ...)
But Daddy, I Love Him — Sylus
(insert the entire song just kidding)
(He was chaos, he was revelry/ Bedroom eyes like a remedy/ Soon enough the elders had convened/ Down at the city hall/ “Stay away from her”/ The saboteurs protested too much/ Lord knows the words we never heard/ Just screeching tires and true love)
(Thinking it can change the beat/ Of my heart when he touches me/ And counteract the chemistry/And undo the destinyyyy/ You ain’t gotta pray for me/ Me and my wild boy and all this wild joy/ If all you want is gray for me/ Then it’s just white noise cuz it’s just my choice)
(I’m telling him to floor it through the fences/ No, I’m not coming to my senses/ I know he’s crazy but he’s the one I want)
Oh Lord I haven’t listened to Fresh Out The Slammer 💀
Florida!!! — Sylus
(The hurricane with my name when it came/ I got drunk and I dared it to wash me away/ Barricaded in the bathroom with a bottle of wine/ Well, me and my ghosts, we had a hell of a time/ Yes, I’m haunted but I’m feeling just fine)
(Little did you know/ Your home’s really only the town you’ll get arrested/ So you pack your life away/Just to wait out the shitstorm back in Texas)
(I need to forget, so take me to Florida/ I’ve got some regrets, I’ll bury them in Florida/ Tell me I’m despicable, say it’s unforgivable/ What a crash, what a rush, fuck me up, Florida/ It’s one hell of a drug)
Guilty as Sin? — Zayne
(My boredom’s bone deep/ This cage was once just fine/ Am I allowed to cry?/ I dream of cracking locks/ Throwing my life to the wolves/ Or the ocean rocks/ Crashing into him tonight/ He’s a paradox/ I’m seeing visions, am I bad?/ Or mad? Or wise?)
this is literally MC in Zayne cards no question no judging we love our personal rocking chair babe
(I keep recalling things we never did/ Messy top lip kiss/How I long for our trysts/ Without ever touching his skin/ How can I be guilty as sin?)
Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me? — Rafayel(?)
Just vibes.
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can) �� Sylus
(The smoke cloud billows out of his mouth like a freight train through a small town/ The jokes that he told at the bar were revolting and far too loud)
(They shake their heads saying “God help her” when I tell ‘em he’s my man/ But your good Lord doesn’t need to lift a finger/ I can fix him, no really, I can/ And only I can)
(The dopamine races cross his brain like a six-plane Texas highway/ His hands, so calloused from his pistol, softly traces hearts on my face/ And I can see it from a mile away/ A perfect case for my certain skills set/ He had a halo of the highest grade/ He just hadn’t met me yet)
(Good boy, that’s right/ Come close, I’ll show you heaven if you’ll be an angel all night/ Trust me, I can handle me a dangerous man)
Did I just type out the entire song oop-
loml — Rafayel
(Who’s gonna stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames?/ If we know the steps anyway/ We embroidered the memories of the time I was away/ Stitching “We were just kids, babe”/ I said “I don’t mind, it takes time”/ I thought I was better safe than starry eyed/ I felt a glow like this, never before and never since)
(Who’s gonna tell me the truth when you blew in with the winds of fate/ And told me I reformed you/ When your impressionist paintings of heaven turned out to be fake/ Well, you took me to hell, too/ And all at once, the ink bleeds/ A con-man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme/ I felt a hole like this, never before and ever since)
(You shit talked me under tables, talking rings and talking cradles/ I wish I could un-recall how we almost had it all/ Dancing phantoms on the terrace/ Are they second-hand embarrassed? That I can’t get out of bed/ Cuz something counterfeit’s dead)
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart — Xavier
(There in her glittering prime/ The lights refract sequined stars off her silhouette every night/ I can show you lies ✨ )
(Cuz I’m a real tough kid/ I can handle my shit/ They said “Babe you gotta fake it till you make it” and I did/ Lights, camera, bitch smile/ Even when you wanna die/ He said he’d love me all his life/ But that life was too short/ Breaking down I hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting more)
(I’m so depressed I act like it’s my birthdayyy everyday/ I’m so obsessed with him but he avoids me like a plague/ I cry a lot but I am so productive, it’s an art/ You know you’re good when you can even do it with a broken heart ✨ )
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
umm…. imma be saving this for later because …. we can all sense a betrayal of smth coming right? or is it just my bestfriend’s pessimistic arse again—
The Alchemy — Sylus 💯
(What if I told you I’m back?/ The hospital was a drag/ Worst sleep that I ever had/ I circled you on a map/ I haven’t come around in so long/ But I’m coming back so strong)
(So when I touch down/ Call the amateurs and cut ‘em from the team/ Ditch the clowns, get the crown/ Baby, I’m the one to beat/ Cuz the sign on your heart said it’s still reserved for me/ Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?)
(Where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me.) — please let us take a moment to appreciate how sweet this line was, even in TS standards
The Black Dog — Sylus
(I move through the world with a heart broken/ My longing stays unspoken/ And I may never open up the way I did to you/ And all of those best laid plans/ You said I needed a brave man/ Then proceeded to play him until I believed it too)
(Six weeks of breathing clean air/ I still miss the smoke/ Were you making fun of me with some esoteric joke?/ Now I want to sell my house and set fire to all my clothes/ And hire a priest to come and exorcise my demons/ Even if I die screaming/ And I hope you hear it)
imgonnagetyouback — Sylus
(Whether I’m gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your bike, I haven’t decided yet/ But I’m gonna get you back/ Whether I’m gonna curse you out or take you back to my house, I haven’t decided yet/ But I’m gonna get you back)
(Bygones will be bygone eras fading into gray/ We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game/ Told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same/ Pick your poison, babe, I’m poison either way)
The Albatross — Rafayel
(Wise men once said wild winds are death to the candle/ A rose by any other name is a scandal/ Locked me up in towers but I'd visit in your dreams/ And they tried to warn you about me)
(Cross your thoughtless heart/ Only liquor anoints you/ She’s the albatross/ She is here to destroy you/ Devils that you know/ Raise worse hell than a stranger/ She’s the death you chose/ And all this terrible danger)
(And when that sky rains fire on you/ And you're persona non grata/ I'll tell you how I've been there too/ And that none of it matters)
hands down the best fitting song and ship by far aaand we’re gonna be getting some zayne angst for the next few ones
Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus — Zayne
(If you wanna break my cold, cold heart/ Just say “I loved you the way that you were”/ If you wanna tear my world apart just say you’ve always wondered)
(If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh/ Down that passage in time back to the moment I crashed into you/ Like so many wrecks do/ Too impaired by my youth/ To know what to do)
How Did It End? — Zayne
(We hereby conduct this post-mortem/ He was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsmen/ Our maladies were such we could not cure them/ And so his touch that was my birthright became foreign)
(Say it once again with feeling/ How the death rattle breathing/ Silenced as the soul was leaving/ The deflation of our dreaming/ Leaving me bereft and reeling/ My beloved ghost and me/ Sitting in a tree D-Y-I-N-G )
So High School — Xavier
(I feel so high school every time I look at you/ I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you 💖)
(And in a blink of a crinkling eye/ I’m sinking, our fingers entwined and cheeks pink in the twinkling lights/ Tell me ‘bout the first time you saw me/ I’ll drink what you think, and I’m high from smoking your jokes all damn night/ The brink of a wrinkle in time/ Bittersweet sixteen suddenly)
I Look In People’s Windows — Zayne
At this point I’m cutting onions for Zayne’s story. Maybe other albums will have better song choices for my babe 🥹🙏
(I had died the tiniest death/ I spied the catch in your breath/ Out, out, out, out, out, out/ North bound I got carried away as you boarded your train/ South, south, south, south, south, south/ A feather taken by the wind blowing/ I’m afflicted by the not knowing so)
(I look in people’s windows/ Transfixed by rose golden glows/ They have their friends over to drink nice wine/ I look in people’s windows In case you’re at their table/ What if your eyes looked up and met mine/ One more time)
(You had stopped and tilted your head/ I still ponder what it meant now, now/ Now, now, now, now/ I tried searching faces on streets/ What are the chances you'd be downtown, downtown, downtown/ Does it feel alright to not know me?/ I’m addicted to the ‘if only’)
The Prophecy — Zayne
(Hand on the throttle/ Thought I caught lightning in a bottle/ Oh, but it's gone again/ And it was written/ I got cursed like Eve got bitten/Oh, was it punishment?)
(Please, I’ve been on my knees/ change the prophecy/ Don’t want money/ Just someone who wants my company/ Let it once be me/ Who do I have to speak to, about if they can redo the prophecy?)
I will cry if the creators don’t give at least one happy ending to one of them
Peter — Xavier
(The goddess of Timing once found us beguiling/ She said she was trying, Peter, was she lying?/ My ribs get the feeling she did/ And I didn’t wanna come down/ We said it was just goodbye for now)
(And sometimes it gets me/ When crossing your jet stream/ We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon/ In different galaxies)
(And I won’t confess that I waited but I let the lamp burn/ As the men masqueraded/ I hoped you’d return with your feet on the ground/ Tell me all that you’ve learned/ Cuz love’s never lost when perspective is earned)
The Bolter — Sylus
(He was a cad, wanted her bads/ Just like any good trophy hunter/ And she likes the way it tastes/ Taming a bear, making him care/ Watching him jump then pulling him under/ And at first blush, this is fate/ When it's all roses, portrait poses/ Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats/ What a charming Saturday/ That’s when she sees the littlest leaks/ Down in the floorboards/ And she just knows/ She must bolt)
Robin — Xavier
(Strings tied to levers, slowed down clocks tethered/ All this showmanship/ To keep it, for you/ In sweetness/ Way to go tiger/ Higher and higher/ Wilder and lighter/ For you)
(You got the dragonflies above your bed/ You have a favorite spot on the swing set/ You have no room in your dreams for regrets/ You have no idea/ The time will arrive for the cruel and the mean/ You’ll learn to bounce back just like your trampoline/ But now we’ll curtail your curiosity)
The Manuscript — Rafayel
(Now and then she rereads the manuscript/ Of the entire torrid affair/ They compared their licenses He said, “I’m not a donor but I’d give you my heart if you needed it”/ She rolled her eyes and said “You're a professional”/ He said, “No, just a good samaritan”)
(The only thing that’s left is the manuscript/ One last souvenir from my trip to your shores/ Now and then I reread the manuscript/ But the story isn’t mine anymore)
Yes I left out Clara Bow, I Hate It Here, thanK you aIMee and Cassandra. These are really amazing songs, very TS girl-coded and we stan all the lyrics <3 they just didn’t particularly fit oh oh maybe
Clara Bow — Sylus
(This town is fake but you’re the real thing/ Breath of fresh air through smoke rings/ Take the glory, give everything/ Promise to be dazzling/ The crown is stained but you’re the real queen/ Flesh and blood amongst war machines/ You’re the new god we’re worshiping/ Promise to be dazzling)
I Hate It Here — Zayne
(I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind/ People need a key to get to/ The only one is mine/ I read about it in a book when I was a precocious child/ No mid-sized city hopes and small town fears/ I’m there most of the year cuz I hate it here)
(I hate it here so I will go to lunar valleys in my mind/ When they found a better planet, only the gentle survived/ I dreamt about it in the dark the night I felt like I might die)
thanK you aIMee — Xavier
(All that time you were throwing punches, I was building something/ And I couldn’t wait to show you it was real/ Screamed “thanK you aIMee” to the nightsky and the stars are stunning/ And our town, it looks so small from way up here)
Cassandra — Rafayel
(I was in my new house placing daydreams/ Patching up the crack along the wall/ I pass it and lose track of what I’m saying/ Cuz that’s where I was when I got the call)
(I was in my tower weaving nightmares/ Twisting all my smiles into snarls/ They say, “What doesn’t kill you makes you aware”/ What happens if it becomes who you are?)
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siriusblack-the-third · 4 months ago
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The Marauders: Pranks!
(in no particular order)
31st October, 1971 (First Year): the idiots somehow managed to get Peeves on their side and messed with the feast. Additives to the food had the entire castle running towards the bathrooms. The pipes were clogged for weeks afterwards. They served detention for the entirety of the duration.
31st January, 1973 (Second Year): Sirius tricked the gargoyle that protected the headmaster's study, got into his library and took several rare tomes. Dumbledore only realised when Sirius marched into his office two weeks later and dropped 14 books onto his table, announcing, "I'll be borrowing your books frequently, thank you." Just for the sheer talent of getting through his protective spells, Dumbledore allowed him to do so. However, detention of two weeks was handed out for breaking and entering.
23rd September, 1976 (Sixth Year): everyone woke up to see that the 26ft bronze dragon statue atop the fountain in the courtyard vanished in the middle of the night. No-one has seen it since. Nobody knows where it is. However, every time James or Sirius pass by the fountain, a small smirk curves over their lips. On another (completely unrelated, of course) note, James has an exquisite new pen, made of bronze and covered in a beautiful, intricate dragon motif.
13 December, 1974 (Fourth Year): the entire castle just. Floated up into the air without a warning. Exactly 77 feet off the ground for 77 minutes. It took all four of them three months to hand carve runes into the perimeter of the castle, and before that it took all of August for Sirius to come up with the right rune sequence that would stick a timer to the magic. They didn't serve detention, only because the rune sequence was such a stroke of genius— fourth year students barely knew how to use single runes in magic, let alone sequences long enough to cover a perimeter.
12th May, 1977 (Sixth Year): any time someone touched a goblet, said goblet would turn into purple butterflies. Very pretty, but very frustrating when all you wanted was a drink after a hot day. It turned out that they had mixed a transfigurative potion into the dishwashing water, and McGonagall made James write a paper about his invention. Technically, he earned his Potions mastery before he got his N.E.W.T. results.
4th February, 1976 (Fifth Year): a vicious storm cloud hung over Hogwarts starting from the 4th all the way till the full moon, making it rain sleet and hail non-stop, 24 hours a day. Everything came to a standstill, including Quidditch (James had to be persuaded for this one). Under the pretense of a month-long detention, McGonagall and Flitwick sat Sirius and James down and had them explain the thought process that went into the spellwork— weather magic not only required obscene amounts of raw power, but the steps as well were notoriously difficult to execute.
21st December, 1977 (Seventh Year): at exactly 23 minutes after eleven at night, the entire castle got wrapped up in huge, terrifying thorny branches. They crawled through the hallways, spilled through windows, blocked the doors and crept over the suits of armour. Huge roses— about two feet in diameter— bloomed all over the castle, dark haunting pink in colour. Waking up in the morning was quite a shock for people when they found out the vines had grown literally everywhere and taken over the dorm rooms. The inspiration was Disney's animated Sleeping Beauty, and Flitwick and Babbling both gave the Marauders twenty-five points each for the creativity. They did serve four months of detention, though.
.
WARNINGS
do NOT tag w*lfst*r or j*gul*s i mean it i will block you
I do not want anyone calling Sirius or James stupid
If you wanna argue with any of these, argue with the wall. These are headcanons, not reality. Chill.
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inexplicablymine · 11 months ago
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WIP WEDNESDAY
Here is a little more of Little Drummerboy, the rockstar drummer au!
(chapter two posted today this is a snippet from chapter 3)
A song lyrics snippet preview for the next chapter! And yes you should be reading between ALL of those lines ;) The song is entitled “Every other Weekend” you might possibly imagine this to a somewhat similar tune to Conan Gray’s Heather if you so please:
you tried it for years/love wasn't enough/the front yard grew weeds/roof started to rust/you said it’d get better/trashed every one of my letters/broke bicycle training/rust under the mainframe/the car you brought by/when you’d teach me to drive/every other weekend
why would you ever miss me/stuck half alive in your memories/you gave me your word/you left me unheard/I stay undeterred/till the worlds end/every other weekend
stuck behind, loveblind/aged out of a system of bliss filled remission/ wandering halls long empty phone calls/ you walk by, what a sight for sore eyes/ bleak words of admission/ every other weekend
why would you ever miss me/stuck half alive in your memories/you gave me your word/you left me unheard/I stay undeterred/till the worlds end/every other weekend
so I fucked it up/so I ran it off/so I blew a fuse/till the world stepped up/but then you took me down/ran the weekend gambit/took my love for granted/should’ve guessed you planned it/we struck a match/ burned the whole place down/ took the weekend off/ gave you the runaround/ but still you stand/ by that bygone date/ for your sacred meeting/ some sick twist of fate/ so I hold it up/ for all to see/ every other weekend/ but you’ll never get all of me (you’ll never get all of me)
stuck half alive in your memories/you gave me your word/you left me unheard/I stay undeterred/till the worlds end/every other weekend
Can’t wait to continue posting more of this over the course of February!!!
Read Here: Part 1 | Part 2
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captain039 · 6 months ago
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Craving the wild side (Sam Winchester)
Sam Winchester x reader
Warnings: AOB, medical things, mental health issues, abuse, light swearing, Angst, hurt/comfort, violence
Huzzah I write something without finishing my other stories 🙃
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Case file No.2864
Name: Samual Winchester
D.O.B 2/3/1983
Age: 41
Background:
Sam Winchester (Feral alpha) found, then captured by our special team delta on the 1st of February 2024, Alpha was found at the fighting dens known as ‘Knocked Out Alphas’ in an underground base lead by omega leader Henry While. Alpha assaulted three officers in his feral state after the fighting pit door was left opened in the shootout. The feral alpha made a run for it before officer John Dennis tranquillised him and brought him to head facility 202. Alpha Sam Winchester has been here a total 5 months with little progression. Former head doctor Grace Peggy has been sent on maternity leave and this case now is being handed over to you.
Please see attached files regarding this case.
Your computer dings in notification at the files sent your way after your email from head office. You brief over them, before replying and log out before heading to lunch. Jimmy meets you there with a smile on his face as you both order a meal and sit down.
“So, I hear you’re on a new case?” Jimmy asks spooning some rice into his mouth.
“Yep, Sam Winchester case since Grace on leave” you answer taking a bit of your own food.
“She and her mate must be excited” Jimmy says and you grimace internally, the thought of a child, a human growing inside of you not comforting or exciting.
“If I could I’d do it for the paid leave” Jimmy says and you raise an eyebrow at the man.
“Uh huh” you say as he just shrugs with a small grin making you shake your head, he was strange sometimes.
“Should be a pretty easy case hopefully, though he’s been here 5 months, he has family, thankfully, hasn’t had any feral outbursts, things like that, he’s just quiet according to Graces notes” you say with a small shrug and sigh.
“You’ll get through to him” Jimmy comforts and you nod giving him a small smile.
After your weekend and more reading over Sam’s case you finally head into work Monday morning ready to meet the man. Though you really did hate the meeting through glass thing it was precaution, but they were human too, not some caged up animal, no matter their past life. You greet the guard outside his door and he lets you in with a nod of his head. You head inside and sit down before turning off the privacy screen. You look to room, clean, a little too clean, the beds made, actually doesn’t look like it’s been slept in for a while, the desk, chair are neat, the desk contents are neat some papers, crayons, the single couch seat and small pillows on it are neat and placed perfectly and the alpha in the middle of the room is sitting with his spine straight, clothes cleaned and unwrinkled, hair cleaned and fresh. You think he’s meditating and hesitate to say anything till he’s finished. So you wait for about ten minutes before he stands to his full height, geez the alphas a sky scrapper. You shake your head briefly focusing on him as he stretches his arms above his head before he turns around and jolts. His whole body tenses and you curse yourself silently, you hadn’t been watching him the whole time you’d been on your tablet.
“Greetings Sam, my names Doctor Y/l/n” you introduce yourself.
“Sorry for startling you, I thought you were meditating and didn’t want to interrupt!” You say trying to justify sitting here for ten minutes without a word, poor man. He nods his head a small frown on his face before he goes over to his desk and sits down. He picks up a black crayon and begins writing, ignoring your presence.
“Doctor Grace Peggy has gone on leave as I’m sure you’re aware, I’ll be your new doctor till she comes back” he doesn’t turn to you, or acknowledge you’ve spoken and you hesitate. He just keeps writing, back overly straight, like he needed to be any taller.
“How’s your day been Sam?” You ask trying to get him to communicate with you, but he just ignores you.
“Well it was nice meeting with you, I’ll be back around 3 to catch up some more ok?” You say but still get nothing. You turn on the privacy screen and stare down at your tablet with a frown, Grace did mention he didn’t speak or make eye contact, you assumed he’d respond some way and not straight out ignore you. Every case was different you guess.
You head back to your office write down somethings about your first meeting wondering how you should go about this. It will be difficult if he continues ignoring you, hopefully he was just having a quiet morning.
He was not having a quiet morning, he was having a quiet week. He didn’t acknowledge you once even when you greeted him first, he didn’t startle, didn’t glance or look to you at all even when you’d wait for him to finish his meditating. You tried to speak to other doctors about what could help, but they didn’t say much, then again it was probably some weird you weren’t old enough to be a doctor thing or wouldn’t understand it as some older generation doctors have told you. It was a Monday morning when you walked in again, he was meditating once more and you decided to head inside his room. The guard gave you the all clear and the door opened for you to step in. You greeted him quietly as you watched the door close before looking to him. You didn’t expect him to have his eyes staring at you wide with his jaw tense.
“Sorry for coming in suddenly I did say though” you tell him as you hold your tablet close. You watch his nose flare as he breathes deeply watching a frown crease his brow. You frown slightly also thinking back to this morning when you put deodorant on, did you smell? You try to subtly sniff yourself and fail when you catch nothing but muted alpha smell and muted omega smell. It was a requirement in the faculty for all in the faculty to use a scent blocker. Maybe he didn’t like the smell of muted omega, seeing as he’d been around them most his life, on the other hand you feel as if he should be thankful for no over powering omega smell, you know you would be.
“May I sit with you?” You ask gesturing beside him and he gives one curt nod. You find relief in that and go over to his desk.
“Can I put my tablet here?” You ask looking back to him but he’s closed his eyes and put his head forward. You shrug to yourself laying it neatly as you can before going to sit in front of him. He doesn’t open his eyes or acknowledge you as you sit a meter away from him on the uncomfortable cold floor. You cross your legs the best you can, straighten your back and let out a small sigh as you close your eyes.
There’s no noise, beside your soft breathing and his, perfect silence. You think to your apartment, you didn’t make your bed this morning, then again you didn’t go to bed till four in the morning. You should also vacuum your house, the place was dirty from you being busy all the damn time, hell you swear Cobalt complains every time his little paws walk over the floor. Hm, you could go with some Cobalt cuddles, nice fluffy grey fur through your fingers, his purring in your ear, warmth in your lap. You smile at the thought, peeking an eye open seeing Sam perfectly still, his breathing is slow and steady. You close your eyes again wondering what he’s thinking about, does he go through memories, to loved ones or is it blissed silence that you find hard to get in your mind. You’re jealous for two seconds at that thought till you hear him move. He sits up and you follow suit less gracefully as he lifts his hands above his head and stretches out his body. You do the same hearing your arm crack and wince at the noise. Sam glances at you briefly, eyebrow slightly raised before he goes over to his desk. You follow him to remove your tablet before he sits down and begins to write. You smile to yourself and head to the door before it opens and you step out, you call that progress.
Another week passes, you find out when Sam starts meditating and head in just before he sits on the floor to sit with him. You both sit there for thirty minutes though you find it increasingly hard to focus and sit still while the alpha in front of you sits like a rock unmoved and sturdy. You wonder how he does it honestly. Then he gets up, stretches, your bones stop cracking after a few days thankfully, then he goes to his desk and writes. You’re going to ask him if you can bring a second desk in, so you can sit and write with him also. You’re on the way to his room but there are a few guards out the front, a red light above his door. You head into the privacy screen area and flick it off. You gasp at the sight, the chairs are turned over, the table is broken his crayons and papers are everywhere, his bed is messy and bloodied, the wall is also bloodied where he keeps punching it. You can’t hear the other doctors or guards as you raise your voice.
“Let me in!” You say to one of the guards. The older doctor tries to stop you but you’re already opening the door and stepping in. You shudder at the change in the air, god. He keeps punching the wall despite his bloodied knuckles, despite the sweat on his body. How long has he been doing this? Surely they would’ve tranquillised him.
“Sam” you call but he doesn’t stop.
“Samual” you try stepping a little closer. His jaw is so tight you fear he’ll break his teeth if he doesn’t relax his jaw.
“Sam?” You try again going into his space. You rest a hand on his arm and he swings around fist just by your face before something passes over in his eyes. He recoils, looks around the room in a panicked state, he begins to shake as he backs against the wall and slides down.
“Sam, Sam it’s ok, we can fix all these things and have them replaced ok?” You say as a few guards come in.
“Take the desk and chairs out if you can” you say to them and they nod grabbing the broken desk and taking it out. As they do that you sit in front of the alpha who’s gripping his hair tightly and breathing heavily.
“Sam” you say softly and his eyes dart to yours.
“What happened?” You ask relaxing your body so you don’t appear tense or let him see how fast your hearts beating. His mouth opens and closes as you added his hand, it looks horrible and requires medical attention.
“Your hands look pretty bad, we’re going to need a medical personnel in here to treat them, is that ok?” He nods quickly and you sigh in relief looking to the privacy screen as one of the doctor nods and gets on the phone before you look back at Sam.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” You ask as he watches the guards take the couch seat out.
“I-“ he says and your heart leaps at the single letter.
“Memory’s” he mutters and you nod understanding.
“To your past?” You ask and he nods as the medical member walks in.
“Hello, I’m Doctor Philips, is it alright if I take a look at those hands?” The medical doctor walks in and you shuffle a little out the way ready to stand when Sam’s hand reaches out and holds your wrist. Those in the room tense as you stare at his large hand around your wrist. He breathes heavily eyes wide in panic and you settle by him more out the way so the doctor can help.
“It’s alright, I was just moving out the way” you say letting him hold your wrist before the Philip comes over. Sam nods eyes darting between you and Doctor Philip’s before focusing on Doctor Philip’s solely as he begins cleaning his free hand. Sam holds your wrist the whole time his right hand gets cleaned, tensing sometimes when things hurt or when the numbing needle went in. You’re thankful for the mobile doctor package the medical team receives here.
“I’ll need your other hand now” Doctor Philips says as he finish bandaging Sam’s right one. Sam looks to you and you smile at him and he lets go of your wrist hesitantly before giving it to the doctor. You let out a small breath looking to your lap as you try to settle your heart and ignore the tingling in your arm.
Next part ->
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