#or would she? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

velidewrites · 2 years ago

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He studied her beautiful face, wondering if there was any chance she knew about the singular, white streak of flour staining her cheek. Wondering if she'd toss his hand away if he dared to swipe his thumb across it, marvelling at the softness of her skin. She probably would.

She definitely would, Lucien corrected himself silently—Elain Archeron, after all, was in a relationship, and decidedly not with him. Life liked to be cruel this way, it seemed.

#or would she?

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pocketss · 3 months ago

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a sluge 😔

#comics #i think she would get a hare 🤔

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inbabylontheywept · 5 months ago

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so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

#i feel a kinship with that snake #would that i could be a simple tube #and eat my fill of eggs #but being a person is rather nice too #my wife is a saint #and i promise that most of the time she is the goblin and i am the Serious Guy #but i had a little pique of insanity and you know what it was my junior year of college #and i deserved to just go a little insane #you spent 65 hours a week being Rational and then you go home and eat like twenty raw eggs

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liquidstar · 9 months ago

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i always think abt my cousin in greece who's like obsessed with american culture, bc ill say that im going to a barbecue and she'll be like "wow.... a real life american barbecue... will there be red cups?" you bet your ass there'll be red cups. take my hand. have a hot dog. all your dreams can come true here at the real life american barbecue

#she needs to visit so i can take her to a mall #the food court alone will blow her mind #shes like 14 so claire's and/or justice would probably also blow her mind

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pirateprincessjess · 9 months ago

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When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

#still not really sure what part of this joke was funny?#cuz if the prank had worked #then they would have made an 8 year old think she had lost her family and been rejected by god #which isn’t really much of a joke #Christian’s are weird yall #pirateprincessjess

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swan2swan · 6 months ago

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Whoever conceived and animated this moment, I hope they're doing well and thriving. This is S-rank romance stuff here.

#the ship overall is C to A tier #but it's things like THIS that push it up toward the A #titan ae #titan a.e.#cale #akima #it just...#starts with them chilling together being comfortable in each other's space #that would be enough that's a point there #then she goes and HANDS HIM THE SANDWICH SHE'S EATING #sharing their food #that's another one #and she does it because his hands are busy so he can't feed himself #so that's a third point #and she does it WITHOUT LOOKING AT HIM which is a FOURTH point #and he bites into it without request or invitation so that's a FIFTH point #and then he TAKES THE WHOLE SANDWICH AND GULPS IT DOWN LIKE A LIZARD #which is a SIXTH point #and jumps it up to SEVEN because she pulls her fingers free and finally looks at him and yells at him #IT'S A SEVEN-POINT ROMANCE COMBO #do you know how utterly rare those are?#those are generally earned through KISS scenes where the hands move and the heads touch and maybe there's a spin #they achieved a seven-point romance combo by SHARING A SANDWICH #fixing machines and sharing lunch URRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH

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muffinlance · 8 months ago

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My baby daughter got her adorable puffin-print dress absolutely CAKED in mud crawling around the yard and my first thought was "oh no her beautiful dress"

And my second thought was "oh huh it really WOULD be easy to unconsciously steer her away from playing in the dirt. Unlike my son, whose outfits are usually some kind of solid dark easily washed pants plus a shirt that doesn't trail in the dirt like a dress does."

Anyway something something gender roles start getting shoved on kids from literal birth, but with a little time to think about things, YOU TOO can let your children of any gender absolutely destroy their clothes in the dirt pit they're digging in your garden

#all clothes provided through hand me downs and grandparents #we asked for non strongly gendered or branded things and that mostly worked for firstborn boy #but baby girl has gotten nothing but the cutest little dresses #that I am absolutely not going to stress if she destroys because it's not like they'll last until next summer anyway #at which point she'll be big enough for her brother's dirt-compatible pants #now if we can get her to stop EATING the dirt that would be GRAND #her pronouns are om/nom #literal definition of a baby

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disableddyke · 11 months ago

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#disability #ableism #disabled #meme #had a teacher who would always make this autistic girl feel stupid whenever she asked questions and would respond loud enough for the class #to hear the annoyance in her voice #catch on fire <3 #greatest hits #10k #15k #20k #30k

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starrysharks · 4 months ago

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ghanaian miku

#zeno's art #hatsune miku #vocaloid #vocal synths #ghana #theres a trend on twitter where you draw miku as from your country #and i dont think anyone's done ghana yet!!!#her outfit is inspired by fashion + fabrics that my mother would wear and also stuff i found on pinterest #ghana kind of has a gold fixation lol so theres lots of gold #and the drink she's holding is supermalt. idk if its actually ghanaian but i know that ghanaians love it #(its very yummy btw idk how to explain the taste cuz i havent had it in a while but you should drink it if you ever come across it)#ok tumblr gets this early #ill post at like 4pm for twitter

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 19 days ago

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Glinda really had an entire musical number expounding on the theme of "success in life is not about being highly qualified or even competent, but manipulating people's superficial perception of you." and then she went into POLITICS. truly the #girlboss representation the world has earned

#wicked #Glinda said 'cronyism is the philosophy upon which our world order is built'#but she was pink and bubbly about it so the audience thought it was cute #also in the novel she's all but explicitly stated to be repressing her attraction to women in favor of compulsive heterosexuality #a duty she then fulfills by marrying a wealthy older nobleman who doesn't bother her while she spends her time amassing social influence #bitch is positively Machiavellian but it's fine because she wears pink #anyway I have this theory that if she and Elle Woods ever met irl they would immediately death battle

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pangur-and-grim · 20 days ago

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one thing that took me embarrassingly long to learn is "sometimes when people say things, they will not be true."

I used to tell people about this revelation and they'd be like yeah.....duh.....but like, why wouldn't my base assumption be that you're communicating to me in a straightforward manner. anyway, I get scammed a lot.

#example: a 'friend' in middle school told me I should ask a guy out. she said 'he'll totally say yes'.#he did not. which was the obvious outcome #but it took me years to realize that she'd said that hoping to fuel some drama for her own entertainment.#ANOTHER EXAMPLE #a guy in college approached me saying that he'd been seeing me around campus but was always too shy to talk to me #and that he really wanted to get to know me #so I was like wow 🥺 romance 🥺 and hopped into bed with him #and afterward I was like what do you wanna do 😊 should we see a movie 😊 should we go out 😊#and he was like nope. byeeee.#and I realized I got bamboozled into sex #total shocked pikachu face #I'm still not the best at this tbh. I'm like 'why would this person lie to me. lying is bad'.#anyway this is why I not looking forward to entering the dating world again #DONT BAMBOOZLE ME I'M GULLIBLE

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batcavescolony · 6 months ago

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Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

#katniss everdeen #the hunger games trilogy #the hunger games #primrose everdeen #hunger games #batcavescolony reads the hunger games #suzanne collins #'now it seems i have become someone precious' NOW? GIRL BFFR you're their hunter girl #and this isn't negative just bffr girl #your WHOLE DISTRICT did the three finger salute that you yourself says means admiration thanks and goodbye to someone you love and on top is #old a rarely used. your WHOLE DISTRICT decided in that moment that they needed to bring back this sign of respect for YOU #...................................................................#idk why some people are thinking i mean this as negative i don't she is unreliable but its not intentional. like when Peeta heart stoped in #CF she doesn't know what Finnick is doing at first cus she doesn't know off the top of her head what cpr is. she also thinks Peeta after the #reaping is acting for the cameras. he isnt we dind out later his mom basically told him Katniss was gonna win and he would die. obviously #shes not doing it on purpose shes just for lack of better words uneducated? as in she doesn't know everything shes not omnipotent #so when Plutarch (? second games guy) shows her his mokingjay hiden watch shes like *wtf that's weird?* then the people traveling to #district 13 show her the mockingjay cookie and explains it and she then goes on the difference between his watch and their cookie #and why does eveyone act as if district 12 is as bad as the capital? they CANT help Katniss and Prim in the way you want. they cant give #them food. none of them have any! and im not putting iton Katniss but they hid they needed food so they could stay together. it sounds like #some of you are in this our world mentally of what people do after a loved one dies (brings food constantly checks on them etc) district 12 #cant do that. they dont have food and they're all suffering. you cant give someone food when you have none to give. then theirs the fact #that peeta DID help. Peeta buring the bread and tossing some to her then taking a beating from his mom is a HUGE thing in the books.#he used his resources to help her like you all said someone should.#district 12 DID (rip) care about Katniss before the hunger games. why do you think she was allowed to hunt? or how her trades were good #these are the little ways 12 can shows Katniss they love her. but again Katniss doesn't see this and YES its because she had ptsd before the #hunger games as well. i swear some of you make it seem like d12 was all living a life of luxury and glaring down at Katniss.#other things that show Katniss is in hight standing with at least her people of d12 is her dad was known enough through d12 for peeta dad to #comment on his singing along with his commenting on her mom. also her mom is a healer in the community. yeah her parents arnt the top but #of d12 but they are/were definitely high staning in the Seam.

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inkskinned · 2 months ago

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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

#writeblr #wlw #i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd #bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic #so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright #like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome #“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted #not just tolerated #..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application #ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like #i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't #LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something #my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch #like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket #bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first #and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny #for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean #this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic #if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.

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nat-20s · 7 months ago

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name a more iconic thing to happen for the fictional qpr community than Donna Noble quite literally meeting her soulmate and being like hmm. there's no one I've ever wanted to fuck less

#i cannot get over how much she's like.#im crazy insane about this alien our lives and beings are intertwined #to be separate would and did require us to tear ourselves apart #and build back from the ground up #he is also completely and utterly unattractive to me. lol.#doctor who #tennant doctor #donna noble

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moonlitsnake-art · 19 days ago

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How to absolutely fucking destroy help your friend fly!