#or thoughts anyway
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steviesummer · 2 years ago
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inspired by and as a direct follow up to this post by @strangersteddierthings:
Eddie is horrified. He remembers the day Steve is referring to, though clearly not as well as Steve does. He calls out as Steve raced up the stairs and hears his door slam.
“Fuck.” He stares blankly at the wall in front of him. He can’t believe things went so bad so quickly. He’s been trying to get to know Steve better, get closer and damn if he didn’t just blow the hole thing. He’d shown up early, told Steve he needed to prepare as an excuse to spend some time with him. Despite everything that happened over spring break, Steve had remained guarded, standoffish no matter what Eddie tried. At least now he knew why. He’d fucked things up before he’d known there was something to fuck up.
He feels even worse about calling him a bully. Sure, Steve had looked the other way and even laughed at some of the mean jokes others had made, but he was far from the worst. That dubious award went to Billy Hargrove, but even without him, there was plenty of people who did far worse than Steve did. Especially because Steve is right. He did hit first, metaphorically at least. He can justify it all he wants as trying to protect himself, but that doesn’t make it right. Steve all but admitted that as he said the same thing. He feels nauseous at the realization that maybe he was just as bad as those he decried. That for all his talk about accepting outcasts and defying convention, he was just as prejudiced. Swallowing hard, he heads back to the dining room and looks at the clock. There is no way he is going to be able to run the campaign today. He’s not going to be able to focus or even play without thinking about how things might have been if he hadn’t driven Steve off all those years ago. He grabs the phone and dials Gareth’s number. “Emerson house, Sheryl speaking.” “Hi Mrs. Emerson, it’s Eddie.” Eddie is proud that he manages to keep his voice even. “Is Gareth there?” “Oh, yes! Let me go get him for you.” “Thanks Mrs. Emerson.” Eddie focuses on breathing while he waits. “Eddie? Hey man, what’s up?” Eddie breathes out. “Hey Gareth. Look, I know its last minute, but we’re gonna have to postpone Hellfire. Something came up.” He could hear Gareth’s frown through the phone. “Postpone? What happened, did Harrington do something?” As if he couldn’t feel worse. “Nah. I’ll explain later, but can you call Jeff and Frank, let them know? I gotta call the freshman, too.” “Alright, but I’m going to hold you to that.” “Fair enough. Talk to you tomorrow.” Eddie promises before hanging up. He weighs his options for how to tell the Party. Eventually, he decides on calling Mike, know that the younger teen won’t push too much. He’s dialing the Wheeler home before he can second guess his decision. “This is Mike.” Eddie feels a rush of gratitude that Mike is the one who answered, rather than Nancy or one of their parents. “Hey Mike, it’s Eddie. Listen, Steve’s not feeling great and having Hellfire here isn’t going to help. Can you call the rest of the Party, let them know we’re gonna move it to another day? I’ll keep an eye on Steve.” Eddie knows Mike is a confused, given how adamant he’s been in the past about not canceling or moving Hellfire, but as he expected, Mike accepts what he says at face value. “Sure. Need us to bring anything?” “Nah, I’ve got it. Pretty sure he just needs some peace and quiet so he can rest. But thanks.” They say their goodbyes and Eddie puts the phone back on the hook.  With that done, he checks that the door is locked and faces the stairs. Now for the hard part. He’s not sure what he’s going to say, if there is anything he can say that will fix this, but he has to try. Even if doesn’t change things between him and Steve, Steve deserves at least that much. Every step feels like it takes effort, chest heavy with guilt, but it only takes him a few moments to get to Steve’s door. It’s closed, which doesn’t surprise him. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts before knocking. Nothing. “Steve?” If it wasn’t for the quiet sound of Steve’s breathing he could hear through the door, Eddie would think he had left. He glad that he at least didn’t drive Steve out of his own home. He rests his forehead on the door. “I’m sorry.” Eddie hopes Steve can hear how much he means it. “You’re right, I fucked up. I made an assumption and took out my anger at other people on you. And that wasn’t fair and it’s not okay. But I want you to know that I’m sorry. Even if it wasn’t you, I shouldn’t have done that.” He lets out a hysterical laugh as he realizes - “And despite that, you still humor the kids when they talk about D&D and agreed to let us play here and didn’t punch me in the face, which makes you a better man than I.” He falls silent, listens as Steve’s breathing slows. He isn’t sure how long he stands there. He wonders how many other people he hurt this way, without even realizing. Knows he wants to do better, be better. He sighs, feeling his shoulders slump. “Anyway, I canceled Hellfire for today. I told everyone something came up, don’t worry about that. I’ll make up some story, make sure they know its not your fault. And uh,  let me know if you want to hang out again or something. I know I’ve been around a lot; didn’t realize that I was making you so uncomfortable, which is probably another thing I should apologize for. Anyway. Yeah. I’ll see you around, okay?” He waits a moment for an answer, but when none comes, he backs away from the door and walks downstairs to gather his stuff. It hurts, but he knows Steve deserves space and to be the one to initiate contact. He has some thinking to do, anyway.
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gongyussy · 3 months ago
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good thing from jp twitter this week is queen of old man yaoi michiru sonoo discovering the term old man yaoi
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update: somehow it got impossibly more wholesome
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quick translation: おかえり: welcome home あ 終わった 終わった: ahhh, it's over! it's done! コーヒー? お茶?: coffee? tea? コ~ヒ~ ありがと: coffee, thank you~ ネクタイレア★★ ネクタイ取るレア★★★★: seeing him with a tie on, rarity level ★★, seeing him take a tie off, rarity level ★★★★ にあうな~: it suits him~
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also please do follow: AraigumaSha: sensei's twitter account marureviere: maru, who does such valuable work highlighting bl manga for an international audience
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icewindandboringhorror · 28 days ago
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(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)
#polls#tumblr polls#For me I think the top ones would be the House. The Money. or the Friend Group. But I ultimately might would go for the house#JUST becuase it would be my Dream House which means it would already meet mostly all of my specifications#and what I might be looking for. which would save a lot of time searching or customizing/rennovating.#Also because I could use that as a way to leave the US lol.. like .. if I get to choose my dream location.. couldnt I just choose some othe#country?? But I wonder how that works. Can you legally 100% have full ownership of a property in a country yet not be a citizen of that#country?? Would you show up and be like 'erm.. i own this house.. so i shall now live in it' and theyd be like 'uh no. you cant live here#despite owning the house. leave.' ??#So I think the initial process of 1. scraping together funds to actually MOVE myself and my most valuable belongings physically#TO another country. and 2. figuring out how to STAY in that country . might end up being difficult.. BUT. if I could just work that#part of things out then.. dream house?? security for once in my life?? stability?? :0#Though the $1mil is enticing it's also like.. I feel .. with the way housing prices are now... that's not much???#it's a lot I guess if you plan on like.. investing half the money and staying in an apartment for 5 years while you grow your wealth#or something. but if you're a 'I Need Stability NOW' ready to settle down person who would be most interested in owning a property rather#than nice clothes or a car or whatever other investments you could make then.. eh..?? It seems like unless you're okay with living in#a small town or kind of far away from the city - even some SMALL houses in majorly populated areas in the US will be like#$600.000 - $900.000 or something. like that would be MOST of my money. Which I know you could just pay partially and make#payments on it but idk.. in the option of just outright owning the house it seems like it'd end up being cheaper.#Plus I would want to own it fully asap because I'd be afraid of losing it somehow otherwise. like it being taken for medical bills or#something. which I thought was supposed to be - not IMPOSSIBLE - slightly more complicated legally if you actually have#paid off the house in full. I guess the issue then would be utilities and property tax and such. But I feel like thats overcome-able??#Like I could just stipulate that my Dream House has a little furnished addition or something and then find someone#with money and be like 'Look you can live in this extremely nice area with amazing ameneties and updated everything and ALL you have#to do is give me money to cover the utilities and property tax.'' or something like that. Like the little furnished addition is nicer#than the actual house. they have their own pool and spa and movie room or something and Ill also cook all their meals for them#or whatever (how luxurious it would be depeneds on how high the property tax actually is/how much I would need to entice them into#why it's a good deal for them to pay it for me lol). idk... something like that.. ANYWAY#I asked a few people I know though and one of them answered they'd rather have a romantic partner. the other one said they'd like#to be able to choose someone to die lol.. So I'm curious what people value the most
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the-moon-loves-the-sea · 3 months ago
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Shared here today by Matthew Boroson on Facebook. (ETA: Gaining inspiration from other authors is great. Lifting passages and avoiding giving credit isn’t.)
Tanith Lee was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award for best novel, for the second book of the Flat Earth series. She died in 2015. You can buy Tales From the Flat Earth here and here .
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astral-herald · 5 months ago
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jayce enduring a symbolic rendition of viktor's trauma is so painful and so, so clever.
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being stricken down and immobilized through sheer accident or, in viktor's case, a cruelly random quirk that caused his disability.
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then physically dragging himself from the lowest level of zaun to piltover, much like how viktor spent his youth reaching toward the promise piltover offered, but only if he could "pull himself up by the boot straps" and get there on his own. socioeconomic forces working against him be damned.
i appreciate arcane reminding us of viktor's origins - the reason he is so called to help people and, eventually, save himself - and putting jayce through the ringer - the contrast between he and viktor's lived experiences is front and center throughout season 1. the writers send jayce, and the audience, on a grueling journey to contemplate those experiences and how they've manifested in these intertwined characters.
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snakebites-and-ink · 4 months ago
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Former living weapon absolutely dominating at laser tag
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paintedcrows · 5 months ago
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Whenever Bill sees KingOfNJ's fics through Stan's eyes he just thinks they have the same taste in fanfiction (disgusting. unthinkable) continued
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kiryuing · 1 year ago
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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 5 months ago
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Glinda really had an entire musical number expounding on the theme of "success in life is not about being highly qualified or even competent, but manipulating people's superficial perception of you." and then she went into POLITICS. truly the #girlboss representation the world has earned
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rovermcfly · 2 months ago
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I think a lot of people are forgetting that on tumblr fandom used to be practiced very differently. now everyone fucks off to their discords or tumblr groups to discuss everything with a select few, making tags be nearly only used for posting some finished fanworks or not at all
a decade ago people didn't have tumblr groups. people didn't even have dms. if you wanted to talk to anyone about anything you had to make a post, or send an ask (which more often than not would get published and thereby become a post in the end too)
so next time you think "I have a fandom thought but I have to find a small group of hyperspecifically like-minded people to share it with in private" remember all the freaks you could be missing out on meeting by keeping the tags dead. use tags, make friends. fuck discord.
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hinamie · 27 days ago
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newest issue of first years fashion just dropped
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#yuji itadori#nobara kugisaki#fushiguro megumi#itafushikugi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#this quickly got away from me#taking hina from 3 days ago who thought 'yeah ill do 3 outfits for each of them what's the harm' and strangling her w my bare hands#original concept fr this was drawing the kids each matching a different outfit w gojo#but i got frustrated by th heights and placement so i said no tall people allowed and scrapped gojo from plans <3#tbh it wouldnt have been /that/ much better in terms of workload but the 3 drawings it would have saved me isnt nothing#but im just complaining fr nothing atp lmao i love all of these sm i love playing dress up with my tuoys (the jjk first years)#love treating them like mannequins i love coming up w outfits layer those kids UP#nobara especially i have so much fun brainstorming she looks good in everything To Me#i dressed megumi more smart casual than normal bc he's got gojo's credit card info and if i want him in balenciagas gdi he's gna get them#also listen i love megumi we know this but fr the sake of not dressing him in solid colour slacks and sweaters 3 different ways#i gave him the workout fit. it cant b yuuji all the time ok i think we deserve megumi in a compression shirt as a treat#speaking of yuuji good god where do i start#he's definitely stylish but in a 'got dressed in the dark/threw on the first articles of clothing i saw' way and i adore him so much for it#wears things tht make him happy w no regard for how they may or may not look tgt bless his heart#also i drew th skateboard fr posing purposes entirely forgetting my prior hc that yuuji cant skate so i roughed him up fr consistency#th boy just ate concrete but is ready to get back up and try again what a champ#anyway bless this line and shading style i lov u less detailed render i love u sharp swoopy fabric lines#saved me sm time fr#also this is my application fr the mappa jjk marketing team they should hire me and let me dress the chars id be so good i promise#ill even take out the vocaloid and pop culture references i wont infringe on any ip i sweaaarr
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o0kawaii0o · 2 months ago
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Getting ready for the party 💃
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eosofspades · 2 years ago
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i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues
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novelconcepts · 3 months ago
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Man, we have got to stop treating art like it has an expiration date. That show stopped airing? Doesn’t mean it can’t haunt your every waking thought. Everybody’s into this album, but you don’t have the energy for new music right now? It’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready. That movie’s fifty years old and indie as shit? Incredible, you have the chance to share it with folks who might never otherwise feel that particular punch of delight. Books don’t go bad. Shows inspire fandoms decades after they’ve wrapped up. We’re still looking at cave paintings and statue work from ancient times and letting the joy of creation bring tears to our eyes. That’s the point of art. It’s as close to immortality as we ever get. Why try to give that magic a shelf life?
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dem0nyo · 30 days ago
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☆ six hairstyles!!!!1! (no idea what to title this) ☆
a bit random, but i guess the common theme here is micro bangs. suitable for your vampires and darkly-inclined simmies (or whoever really). most of these were wips from last year and the way i make hairs has changed a bit since, but thought i'd still share them.
unedited CAS screenshots and more info under the cut.
BGC
feminine frame
24 EA swatches + 17 extras
teen-elder
hat compatible
all LODS, all maps
TOU
✧‧₊˚ DOWNLOAD: Patreon (FREE) | SFS ‧₊˚✧
thank you so much for the support <3 if there are any issues, please lmk
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still not sure if i like render previews so i included CAS pics anyway. renders are nice looking but they don’t accurately preview how CC looks in-game and they can take a long time, at least on my PC still running on 2017 hardware. my GPU is decent but everything else, not so much. anyway...
Maila 🦇 (7377 polys)
named after Maila Nurmi aka Vampira, this is a Chelsea cut with v-shaped bangs and pigtails. this was actually a request i did last year based on someone's OC. idk if they have a Tumblr, but shoutout to them anyway <3
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Rosario 📿 (16625 polys)
another older one. i'm thinking about making this unisex but i'm so dejected rn i don't feel like opening Blender for a bit (someday tho). it's not locked to fem frames but it will clip with the neck when put on masc frames.
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Odette ⚰ (15485 polys)
based on this one hairstyle i saw on Pinterest, i can't find it for some reason even though i made this fairly recently.
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Lucinda ☀ (19814 polys)
wavy jellyfish cut, this is the most recent one i made. it’s for an OC of mine and it's probably my favorite out of all these. maybe.
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Yesenia 🕷 (10869 polys)
just a little edit of the L&D updo, nothing too special. made this when the pack just came out. i could’ve done more with it and added more strands because i like to suffer but it’s fine.
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Valentina 🖤 (17332 polys)
idk honestly. this was meant to be for personal use but i thought it was cute enough to share.
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mroddmod · 6 months ago
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they are like puppies. 2 me
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