#or the most unnecessary sadness

[futuristiccrystal]

This year has genuinely been the most up-and-down experience I’ve ever had in my life oh my god I’m so tired

[hanna-kin]

You know the hate Lisa gets in this fandom is so sad

Daily I see people hating on her, some even for things that are other people’s fault.

Likewise I see people credit other people for her work.

And it's completely fine to dislike season 2, it's fine to be unhappy with decisions she made but I think it's just escalated and at this point it's pretty damn sad to see how hateful some people are being.

They are just vile and cruel and yeah it actually makes me sad.

[deus-ex-mona]

i miss her…

[starfilledsky2810]

damn I yap a lot

tldr; im alive, sadly im still on hiatus, other stuff is fine now I just have new [physical] problems, you'll know when I'm fully back (give it another couple months) and comfortable, I'm in a [technically well-over] 3-month long ongoing depressive episode [not tryna do trauma olympics or make anyone feel bad btw it's all chill]

so sorry if I've left you hanging [with art or smth], I'll get to it in time, I promise [I may have unwillingly forgotten, likely not but there's a chance]

Hey, I'm alive, I have been for the.. almost 6 months I've been gone. Holy shit, I didn't even realise that it's been that long. I figured I should at least say something in case anyone is worried or wondering even though everything isn't solved yet, so, here. [under the read more so it's not flooding or anything]

Also, I figure I should apologise for venting on main and just leaving it up - this is all going to stay up because I need to keep it somewhere to aid with my memory issues - but, still, must've been a little weird

Absolutely not a good time to say all this [for me bc I haven't thought this message through] but I'm kinda half-back, just on hiatus from socials due to declining physical health. Really badly declining, I need help honestly

Originally, as you know, I was gone because I had a really bad fall out with my mother, but things pertaining to that have been solved now [except me not feeling 100% safe and trusting to my mother, that will never change. She's tried hard, I just wish I could find her reliable emotionally as well]. It's just that, since then, basically, all these physical problems that I don't understand have been royally fucking me up and messing with my mental too. It's messed with everything I love. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oh wait, where I was actually going with this, so

OK nvm I forgot but you'll see me around bc I've been talking to certain people trying to pretend like nothing's happened and I've made the kinda-silly decision to not fully come off hiatus or talk to other certain people before I'm okay again.

[longing4yesterday]

i've opened and closed the text post creator a million times because i think i'm going to say something, but then immediately delete it and close out. only to repeat the process.

[graciebrams]

🫧

[heatmiiiiser]

Ggrrr I wish disenchantment was better. I binged it all because I'm sick somebody talk to me about this.

[lemonlilypufftangerine]

It really drives me nuts how Capcom made Maya Fey seem like a major character in the 456 collection like how she's the 3RD CHARACTER SHOWN IN THE TRAILER. And how she's prominent as the 1st thing you're supposed to see on aa6's art book cover and on the game cover itself buts she's barely in 6 let alone 4 and 5.

Of course i know it's to market to trilogy fans to say "look, our collection isn't that different from the trilogy! Jump right in to see ur faves in new wacky adventures." But yea as someone who doesn't prefer 5 and 6, Capcom's cowardice ticks me off. The least they could do is market the game for what it is then decieve audiences.

She's a cameo character through and through in aa6. She shows up halfway through the game in only 2 out of 5 cases and is a literal plot device in both. One where she's a client again and the other where it was the only way a new character could be in the spotlight. You barely talk to her compared to any other main character too.

TLDR: How the hell did u put Maya Fey before Trucy Wright AND Athena Cykes in the trailer for their games???

[mishtershpock]

.

[aeide-thea]

have been reading fic & thinking abt my relationship to fic, which is of course also among other things a mirror of my relationship to my own psyche, and like—i think all the discourse abt its being ~internalized misogyny~ to mostly/entirely read m/m is not ultimately, whatever the truth of it, all that helpful, either to readers or to Women! but of course that doesn't stop me from feeling weird guilt abt the fact that i don't read more f/f than i do, because if there's anything i love to do, it's feel unhelpfully bad abt myself on the slimmest of pretexts…

however! i did end up reading some f/f earlier, specifically transfem f/f, and it got me thinking—basically what i'm usually mostly reading fic for is the romance/sex, right? like, don't get me wrong, i love when a fic gives me a gorgeous double helix of, like, casefic and romance twisted together, that's ideal, but fundamentally most of the time the feeling up is what i sat down at the table to eat. so in a complex aegosexual way it's a fantasy i'm—not projecting onto, exactly, i don't want to be one of the people in it; but, like, lurking in the wings of with eyes big love-crumbs, to steal a phrase from a relevantly-named poet. :) and so it's no wonder that mostly i don't want to read cisfemme4cisfemme stuff, because that's not a dynamic that feels like it has any room for me, or even like i'm particularly welcome in the room. but like. if it's trans women? i'm there, i love that for them and for me. if there's a butch? i might get tripped up by our differing lenses on gender feelings and stub my toe a little but even so i'm probably here for it. (thinking here abt that one butch/femme geraskier ~cisswap which is, like, a gorgeous bruise i keep periodically pressing. <3)

so really it's just like. shocker: i'm not personally moved by fantasies abt romance which feature conventionally feminine cis women whom i don't personally find relatable or sexually desirable! and when i put it like that, it really instantly dissolves the weird useless discourse-induced guiltgunk. like. give me a woman who's, idk, tall and charismatic and strong and clever and talented at something (though honestly it's like that siken revised tweet, a lot of those characteristics are ultimately negotiable!), like women i've historically crushed on irl, and then give me a pairing for her that's like. another woman who's also enough of those things, or a man who's—honestly the kind of m/f i'm open to would be its own whole post bc holy shit am i fussy, it very much does exist but for now let's just stick a pin in that one—or somebody nonbinary, which… idk that i've ever actually seen nb/f in fic? i'm sure it exists! but i'm not sure it exists in any fandoms i've been into. pondering the question did get me really thirsty for a good 'farmgirl (of the luke skywalker variety) is absolutely stunned-and-ringing-like-a-struck-bell captivated by confident flamboyantly genderqueer love interest (example wanted)' dynamic, though…

[cleargreyskies]

It has now been 12 hours after I watched it and I have finally made up my mind that I am underwhelmed by the Ted Lasso finale. (spoilers and typos in the tags)

[lesbegays]

yesterday we found a recently eclosed monarch butterfly that had clearly been attacked by a predator. it was leaking green fluid from a missing eye, a tear in its wing, and a hole in its abdomen. i’ve euthanized several injured or deformed butterflies in the past, but for some reason this one just really got to me. i swear it clung to my finger more intensely than any ever has before. and i know i’m anthropomorphizing but i really felt like it was scared and in pain and i’ve cried every time i’ve thought about it since

[ald3r-wolfcak3]

Starshine rewrite, but oh no, Starshine missing;

Lisa get a phone call middle of the night. It's Alex. As she picks up, the other girl almost screaming, Starshine went missing. Lisa running to the stables, where she meet not only with Alex but with Anne also and Mr. Herman.

They find a message on Starshine's stall. It's an adress for an abandoned Dark Core yard. Mr. Herman drive the girls to the yard. Thanks to Alex's experience to breaking into guarded placies the girls can enter the place. But as they go deeper and deeper, they have to split up, since the place way to big to search it. Of course Lisa is the one who find Starshine insode one of the buildings. The horse inside a huge cage, which protecred by a code-lock. She tries to break the code, she really tries, but she can't. She extreamly stressed out, she shaking and crying and Starshine tries to calm her down, talking to her and saying everything will be alright she lost it. She collapses to the ground and non-stop crying. She can't do anything. She lost everyone she loves and care about, she not strong enought, not talented and fuck up everything. And then, someone touchies her shoulder. It's Mr. Sands. Why is he here? The man talking, she knows the man talking but can't understand. Then, the lock open up.

"Help him" the man says as he slowly turn around and walks away "And then go...It's not the right time yet...soulrider"

Lisa enters the cage and as before at the stable, she put her hands from of her. The pink star shows up and she slowly closes her eyes. She sees a memory from her childhood. It's her mom and dad. The three of them went to riding to for a picnic. When she pens her eyes Starshine standing fron of her. She hop on his back and they left the building. Starshine is healthy and strong and even thou she riding bareback she doesn't affraid of falling down. But as they left she hear a horse behind her. It's a pure black horse, a fresian with falming hoofs. The rider wearing black cloths with a red cape, it's covering up their face. Starshine run into the woods, Lisa asking him what's happening Starshine answears;

"It's them! It's them! I don't want to die yet!"

The woods are dense and gladly they able to espace the unknown rider behind their back. As they slow down they see rune stones. It's like a meadown but with stone Lisa come down and check the stone under her feet.

It has four simple picture. Each has a human and a horse with four different symbol. One of the symbol is a star, the same star she saw when she healed Starshine.

"It's them" Starshine says "The four guardian of this island. The four champion of Aideen"

"Who is Aideen?" She asks.

"The godness who helped to cage up the monster from beyond the starts. The one who made sure man and horses to be able to bond"

"So who are the guardians"

"It's you" and Lisa sure Starshine is smiling at her "A soulrider who ride under the circle of star. Heal the injured and free the oppressed"

"And you? Who are you?"

"I am you" Starshine says "And you are me. You and I are the same soul. I am protecting you and you are protecting me. We are the embodiment of Aideen's gift. The first champion of her..."

[caliboron]

oof. I just relapsed pretty badly

[cozy-the-overlord]

I don’t think I’ve ever been as violently irritated with the choice to kill off a character as I was with that of Ilsa Faust in Dead Reckoning