#or that you're a literal human monster if you eat meat

[oh-yes-i-did-not]

Today is the day for people not to forget that vegetarianism exists. Maybe they’re not as “morally pure” as you want them to be, only shunning meat as is, or varying degrees of animal products including or excluding milk, eggs, even fish to some, depending on what your meat avoidance is (red meat, mammals, etc), but vegetarians are still a thing and they’re here. And it’s still a very viable option for people who want to be more aware, but don’t want to throw everything they already have away for containing a small amount of milk or fish product. Like most sauces you might find in your cabinet. Fish sauce is an ingredient in a lot of Asian cuisine sauces, just fyi.

And fuck those people who go “vegan or nothing!” They’re the exact same people who go “NO PAIN NO GAIN” on you on gym, when you can’t perform to perfection. They’re impossible, they expect impossible, they don’t exist in real life and thus they lack empathy, and they lack any awareness of you as a person, living in a situation.

If you want to lessen your consumption of meat or animal products without going scorched earth on them, you can do so. And it’s okay, too. One less piece of any meat consumed is better than none. It doesn’t matter if you can’t keep up with it or lapse once in a while. You as a singular consumer don’t matter quite that much as to bring down a movement with one or two mistakes. That’s actually a lie compounded on by THE industry, trying to shift the blame away from them and it’s not quite as black and white. But if it lessens your guilt then YES, you are not responsible for industries and your lone consumption will not change anything. You just need more people on your side.

...which is where vegeterianism and not being so fucking stubborn hardline comes in. Vegans I’ve seen have done nothing to encourage doing less with meat. They just say YOU NEED TO, NOW. And sharing recipes with fellow vegans, going “oooh, aaah” don’t count.

IN fact, I don’t care who the person who got their vegan lox recipe with carrots and salt shared on a national media is, or if they deserve even more accolades than they got, I’m just saying that anyone who spray painted “go vegan!” on a side of a building did less. They did something alright, some markings on a stuff. Which mostly annoys people in general. And then they think that annoyance or emotional reaction from non-vegans means anything (oooh they feeling guilty oooooh feeling so bad oooooh) and that they did something huge.

IN FACT, anyone just quietly sharing vegan recipes that look and taste good, and maybe even ways to do traditionally meat things as vegan, have done more to their cause than any-single-motherfucker who has ever spray painted shit, or yelled about their cause online, gotten angry at strangers online for their cause, or tried to gatekeep people like vegetarians or less meat people from their cause.

...just saying o.O

[bitchimasnake-sss]

"have i ever told you i love you?" ft. the monster trio

silly goofy headcannon with my favourite idiots of all time <3 ft. luffy, zoro and sanjiii x GN reader set-up: you've been them for quite a while but the "three magical words" have been off-limits (until today ig?) m.list

luffy:

he was munching on a piece of meat (again) after having successfully begging sanji for forty minutes (and enduring two kicks)

literally, his mouth is full, there's crumbs on his cheek and through it all, he says "hey, have i ever told you i love you?" (with a smile as big as the one in the gif)

you almost choke on air, cause who the fuck asks it like that?

"i mean, no. not really?" your face is hot and you cannot decide if its a blush creeping up your face cause he is telling you he loves you or if its second hand embarrassment because hes admitting he loves you with face stuffed with meat.

atleast he looks cute tho? (take a win where you can lmao)

"huh? i haven't?" his brows are furrowed together, and just for a moment his focus isn't on his food.

"yeah" you sheepishly admit, giving into the warmth spreading across your cheeks

"okay" motherfcker just shrugs.

he's back to munching again. like he just shrugged and went back to eating. like he was asking what day it was and not confessing his love. what a fucking idiot????? how do you love him ur so confused?????

"that's all you have to say?" you're about to commit homicide.

"yeah?" then through a bite, he says "i do love you though."

and nvm, maybe the homicide can wait another day because right now you're busy ignoring the shit-eating grin that spreads across your lips.

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zoro:

mf is drinking (like always)

and obviously, it takes quite a lot to take him down enough for him to say stupid shit

and even on the days he does drink quite a lot, he just falls asleep and wakes up with a shitty hangover and even shittier attitude

but on the days he doesn't fall asleep, well let's say it's a whiplash inducing experience

"hey" gulping down the last of his sake, his speech is as slurred as a swordsman can possibly get. you don't blame him, i mean it's been a rough couple of days after all, maybe he needs the booze to cope.

"mhm?" you're equally under the influence (if not more)

"have i ever told you i love you?"

yeah, that shit straight up sobers you up

"what?"

"have i told you that i love you?" he repeats, without any hesitancy at all.

this stoic bitch (who took 2 business weeks to finally hold your hand in public after you got together) is asking this question, absolutely unfazed.

for a second you wonder if the alcohol is making you hallucinate (can alcohol do that? probably not)

"did the alcohol make you go deaf?" still fucking unfazed.

"...no? you haven't" your voice is shaky, still confused if you're fucking hallucinating

"oh, well then i should let you know." and he gives you a classic, soft smile "i love you."

and then he passes out. he doesn't even bother hearing your reply.

yeah, next day you're furiously blushing every time you think about him and the words he said, meanwhile this stupid human being doesn't even remember. he is giving you weird looks and asking you if you feel okay because your face looks very red. and maybe you should ask chopper for help.

well, i mean atleast you remember what he said.

drunk words are sober thoughts afterall hehe

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sanji:

a fucking gentleman!!!

actually the only one who had made a fucking plan to confess his love to you. he's a romantic dude (he just sucks at execution)

the entire day before, he is a wreck. he cannot hold eye-contact with you for more than two seconds, his food doesn't exactly taste as it always does (why is there salt in place of sugar sanji are you okay??), he is lost in his thoughts and giggling whenever left unsupervised

jesus lawd, this man is whipped

meanwhile you're out here wondering if he is going insane or getting terminally sick. you're not alone cause the entire crew is thinking the same

maybe you guys should ask chopper to take a look at him??

it's evening, the sun is going down and you're standing at the deck, admiring the view

everything seems perfect. then he taps on your shoulder and you turn around to a furiously blushing sanji with his hand behind his back

"sanji?" you gingerly place a hand on his shoulder, "are you okay? you have been acting a little weird all day"

"i- uh"

he fumbles for two whole minutes. nami counted (she told you at dinner later).

then after receiving a confused look from you, he finally blabbers it all in like one breath.

"yn ln you have made me the happiest man on earth and if you would please accept this bouquet, i would be grateful. would you please go on a date with me?"

the date was in your room, the room had been cleaned, he had cooked your favourite meal, he had got your favourite flower and although the whole ordeal had started rather awkwardly, you cannot help but feel giddy as he serves you desert

"say yn," he is blushing again, "have i told you i love you"

you snort out the desert.

sanji almost performed heimlich

when you're good again, you say, "no, you haven't actually."

"then you should know, i love you. more than anyone can ever imagine."

yeah you pray to god every night for this magnetic force of a fucking man. you must have been a good person in your last life.

perfect man, husband material, 10/10

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m.list

[the-s1lly-corner]

hi i uh saw the jeff x reader who eats flesh.. can you maybe do one for toby too?

ticci toby x reader who eats flesh

fellas imma be so real i was scared to post the flesh eating reader because thats outside of what i normally post but its so in tune with themes in the creepypasta fandom- i mean eyeless jack is right there.. so im relieved to see that its not being shot down

notes: reader is gn, reader is not specified to be human they can be viewed as whatever- human, monster, cursed, ect

cws: flesh eating, toby literally offering a piece of him out of genuine curiosity

he thinks its a little... gross.. but hes not going to beat you down for it- for the most part he steps into a different room when youre eating your meals

if you are limited to only eating human meat because thats.. physically... all your body can accept... hes more understanding.. not very happy about it but at least you have the argument that its either this or dying

and lord knows he doesnt want you to die

he does take advantage of the fact that you can help dispose of bodies on nights where he catches one, tries not to make you feel like you need to help him get rid of it though

similar to the jeff post he does jokingly ask you what you think he tastes like, but hes less inclined to back track if you pretend youre about to take a bite of him

not in a sexual way, just a "hey im kind of curious, and im going to use the fact i cant feel it as an excuse to let you take a chunk" sort of way

is it reckless, and do you wish he wasnt so reckless with his body? yes, and i would assume you dont want him just tossing himself into danger... but thats an entirely different subject for a different post

bonus points if you're not human and the taste of flesh varies from person to person depending on what they were like and stuff- he will be disappointed if he tastes bland or average if you follow through with taking a nibble

i mean dont, even if hes open to it, but

you know

[thesupernaturalhouse]

On a different point, been watching 'your pretty face is going to hell' and more people should check it out, I think if you are a critic and/or fan of HB you'll like it

Long story short it's about people who died, some are labled as 'punished' and some as imps who are working for Satan, punishing people and collecting souls and, ofc, killing people. And fi the episodes don't focus on that it focuses on their office work life, sometimes personal but it never looses sight of it's main plot you know?

Ultimately it all loops back around to sinners working for Satan in hells office space

It also shows and mentions heaven as being ridiculously strict if that's something you're interested in, it isn't a big plot point though. Their more episodic

Also they actually get a soul placed in heaven through a court trial in hell....ofc its revealed that while the guy didn't eat meat on a Friday, he ate human meat on a thurseday. But since being a cannibal isn't said to be bad in the bible he's still placed in the elevator by satan, who finds it funny, much to others horror

It is hell so there are a lot of gross things in it like a rape monster, people being turned inside out, there a lake of shit(literally), torture, graphic violence like smashing someiens hands, uh, in one episode satan shoves this flute into one workers neck

Also bad people work and live down there and the show isn't shy about pointing it out. So uh, keep an eye out for that to

I'm trying to avoid names to not spoil anything btw

[running-with-kn1ves]

Hi! Can I request a Officer x female!Nurse reader during a zombie apocalypse? The Officer would be the stalker-ish, possessive type who’s made it clear he’s protecting her from the others because she’s one of the best at her job. But in reality, he’s just making excuses to be close to her—always hovering when not  patrolling the hospital. Could you possibly add like…non-consensual touching/kissing, definitely power imbalance, manipulation in the form of comfort. Maybe nsfw if you can?

A/N: started this a while ago but only just now got around to finishing it in a... "semi-decently" way.

Synopsis: you're a nurse healing those still alive after the start of the apocalypse; unfortunately for you, a certain annoying guard has made it his mission to have your undivided attention. 

TW: noncon kissing, touching, feeling up, etc., intimidation, power imbalance, general sexual assault warnings, zombie apocalypse/infected theme

WC: 3600

“Oh come on now, I didn’t hit him that hard.”

“You literally pummeled the man to the ground!” The underwhelmed attitude of the guard trailing behind made you dig your fingers into your temples. “He lost his front tooth, Kain. And the guild wants MY head for it.” 

Pacing through the halls of the abandoned hospital, you make your way to the opposing wing, Kain following quickly on your heels. 

“Don’t honestly tell me you’re worried about the ‘guild’. " Kain speaks, creating quotes with his fingers. “You’re the only nurse they got who’s actually qualified enough to do a damn decent job.They can’t get rid of you, they need you too much.” 

You make a sharp turn into an old hospital room, throwing Kain off. He stumbles over himself to follow, while you quickly distract yourself with the limp body resting on a raised bed in the middle of the room. You hurriedly picked at the bloodied bandages of one of your fellow survivors, the mangled man out cold under the wool sheets as you began to inspect him.  The process was like clockwork, being what most of your job had become now that you were stuck with flesh-eating monsters and a third of the human population left, most of which was crippled in some way or another. 

 Kain peeks up from behind you, irritated yet curious as to what was more important than responding to him. His head popped up next to yours as he looked at the bandaged man, giving a bothersome frown. 

“You shouldn’t have been talking to anyone about me, period. This all could’ve all just been avoided, Kain.”

Kain opens his mouth to speak, looking like an awed fish as you berate him. 

“Who in their right mind cripples one of their own men?” You mumble under your breath, hoping he wont hear lest he throws a fit. "Now, can’t you see I’m working here? You’re getting in my way.” 

You push past him to throw away the old gauze and stained bandages. 

Kain’s constant look of mild amusement faded. 

“Ya should’ve heard what he was sayin’ about you. Then, you might not feel that way.”

You avoided Kain’s sharp stare, pretending to not listen as you pulled open a drawer beside the hospital bed. 

Lifting his eyebrows in suggestion, Kain rested his hands on the front of his patrol vest, continuing to chew his gum with feigned nonchalance. “Like a piece a meat…” He muttered.

Clearing your throat you ripped open a new package of gauze with your teeth, avoiding Kain; Maybe it’d be best if you changed the topic. 

“Well… What are you still doing here in the first place? I thought you were supposed to be at your new transfer by this morning…” 

You remembered primarily because you thought it’d be your first day of freedom. 

Kain rubbed his nose with his thumb, trying to hide a wide grin that showed his dimples.

“I’ve been stationed to protect the hospital for another six months.. Just found out this morning. Some other guy wanted to go and…the guild commander thought my talents would be better off here.”  

Your face dropped. The sliver of fragile hope you held onto, shattered. Finally, you thought, you’d be rid of the overbearing coos and humiliating social teasing, his invasive bullying-- the dream seemed to fizzle out like the end of a candle wick, slow and sad. You began to rewrap the survivor’s wounds, hands on autopilot while your stomach sank.

And like a switch, your annoyed tone was spat back at him. 

“Okay?” You shrugged.  

You had been Kain’s prime victim when picking meaningless fights for the past eight months, his presence like a wall of muscle in your path. But no more, you wouldn’t sit and entertain his bullshit for another half a year.

“If that’s true, then nothing’s changed. Don’t you have better things to do than annoy me?” You swat Kain away with your hands like a fly. “Go stand guard or something. Be useful.”

You pinned the end of the final bandage, rearranging the patients scratchy bedsheets. Without another word you began to walk away.

 Kain grunted in annoyance, watching you turn into the adjacent room across the hall to leave him in the dust.

“Well, you never know,” Kain shouted, running after you across the hallway. “You might come up against a stray infected. I know you haven’t had this set up for long, the doors hardly do anything to keep a draft from blowing through. What happens if I’m not there quick enough? You’d need someone much bigger, and much… stronger than you, to protect you.”

You let out an exasperated noise, recognizing the insult in his words. But Kain didn’t mean it as an insult; he was thinking of other… things. 

“Besides, you need protecting just from the things in here you can’t handle, and I decide to offer my assistance-- at a zero cost.” 

You scoff again. “What do you mean ‘things I can’t handle’?” You copy his previous quotation movement, half distracted by rummaging through a large cardboard box of old medical supplies. 

Kain follows you inside the room, seeing your back turned to him next to an empry hospiral bed. A lightbulb went off over his head, his printless fingers grabbing the privacy curtain and pulling it. The curtain surrounding the bed, you, and him-- clouding the fluorescent lights from the hallway. The ones inside the hospital room flickered, barely making the guards face visible. 

“Something like this.” 

An arm traps you from behind, one of Kain’s scarred palms leaning on the wall next to your head. You turn around to look at him with a scowl, not yet realizing what he was trying. 

From the corner of your vision you saw the mean glint in Kain’s eye. 

A smug, egotistical smirk rested on his face.

“I can see it now…. some band of other survivors coming in, raidin' what they could and stumbling across you,” He pushed his dirty blonde hair back with his free hand, calloused fingers sticking out his glovelettes. “So helpless in your dirty scrubs, scared and alone….What would you do? Would you even be able to defend yourself?” 

He watched as your eyes shifted, trying to avoid him as you attempted to shove your way out. But he was a wall of muscle and pheromones, a light slap telling him to knock it off wasn’t going to cut it this time.

And this, was exactly what you were trying to avoid. 

Kain shoved your shoulder against the wall, pushing his nose against the sensitive front of your neck; it nearly made you grunt from surprise. 

“Ah…” You felt him exhale, licking his lips against your jugular. “What a cute bitch…You smell so fresh, So different than all the rotten corpses in here. Maybe we should take this one to go, huh boys? I’m sure they’d all like a turn.” Kain said to himself. 

You try to swat at him again but he catches your other arm, wrenching it back behind you. "That's not funny, asshole!” 

Kain gave an angry laugh, your stubbornness testing the edge of his limits. His harshness and your violent panic ruined any playful mood left. 

“You know, you really don’t understand how lucky you are; how much I care about you. Just trying to-- protect you.” Kain struggled to  keep you compliant, and to keep his urges at bay. his eyes wildly flit between staring at your lips to your soft exhausted body, the one now in his hands, bulging from his fingertips. For a moment his attention seems to linger on the shallow movement of your chest, falling and rising with each worried breath. But it soon pulls back to your rageful glare, a harsh swallow coming from his throat. 

“Why won’t you just take my help? I want what’s best for you, Don't you understand that...” He couldn’t stop looking at your sweet lips, downturned into a frown-- a frown he wanted to kiss away. 

In his mind, when he imagined kissing you he thought you’d be stunned at first-- but would quickly fall into his arms, holding onto him as if he was your lifeline. 

“Fuck it..” Kain murmured under his breath. 

He didn’t spare any time, knowing you'd put up resistance no matter how well he tried to swoon you. Leaning down to get his first taste of you, sweet kisses lapped at your lips before you came to realize what was going on. The curious, self-interested pecks to your lips were so cautious at the start, until Kain’s mouth began to grow lewd. He took your slack jaw as permission to greedily devour your tongue to the fullest. His mouth seemed to fit like a puzzle piece against yours, twisting upward to savor your mouth. You were surprised but not all shocked-- though, this was the first time he had tried to kiss you directly. 

“Kain,” He let go but swiftly kissed again under your chin, gliding down your jawbone to your ear. “For the last time-- don't make me fucking hit you--!”

Kain drug his tongue up your skin, pinning your arm behind your back to shove you further against the wall; any closer and you'd be a part of it. He took in deep whiffs of your homey smell, of the sensation of your warm skin and its smoothness on his. 

"What're you going to do about it? Gonna fight me off?" The thought made him give you a cheeky grin; it was almost too easy.

When was the last time he touched something so plush… so calming compared to the flesh wound that was what was left of the world? Even the sounds of your labored breaths made Kain…excited. When it came to your body pressed and aligned with his, he couldn't help but feel overly eager in wanting to push and press you flush against him. 

“Stop-! You can’t do that here-- ”

But with your writhing body and fingers digging into his scalp, he realized that doing such a feat would be harder than he imagined. Your days of carrying injured survivors into their beds and helping unload traincarts of medical supplies made you nearly a worthy rival in strength. 

"Can't stop now…" you heard him mumble, a big, warm hand coming to grip your chin. He was above you, caging you in with the biceps you mocked were more well-formed than his brain. Your hand was still pinned behind you as he pushed his squishy chest against yours. 

You dug in your pocket for one of the two needles you always kept on hand. You pulled out the one with a peeling sticker-- its purpose for telling the difference between the two. This particular syringe held enough to sedate a horse-- which, you complemented to Kain’s large size. 

You held it up like a knife, test-squeezing a little bit of the serum out. 

Kain was busy nestled into your neck one moment, and the next he wasn’t. You were so sure he had forgotten about the hand you were raising, that you paid little attention to the one pinned behind you. 

Without notice that he had even caught you, the guard tugged at the wrist behind your back, twisting it against the wall unnaturally. Your breath caught into your throat, body tensing as your forearm let out a crunched pop. A weak moan of agony came from your mouth, Kain’s hand that was once petting you possessively, now slowly taking the needle from your shaking fingers. 

You tried to fight him, attempting to stab him then and there. But you were no match, not when your right arm was continuing to be crushed, the longer you tustled him for the syringe.

Kain lets out a triumphant laugh, throwing the needle behind him. 

“Nice trick; I didn’t know you were such a flirt, nurse. How did you know I liked a little fight?” 

Kain doesn't hesitate to dig both hands into your back pants pockets, allowing you the grace of cradling your throbbing arm. He felt up what he could while removing the other syringe, and keys from your pocket. 

“Now,” He started, pulling your head back toward the wall with a grip on your hair. “Let’s see this pretty mouth do what it was meant for.”

Kain practically suffocated you with his body, pinning you back as he slowly pushed his thumb into your mouth. 

"Ahh-thole!" You tried to sound out.

Kain watched your plump lips open around his finger; you attempted to bite the digit invading your personal space, but Kain yoinked down on your lower jaw first. The officer pushed the pad of his finger against your tongue, sensations of the muscles smooth wetness making him shudder; your startled sounds of awe only spurring him on, the glint of drooling interest in his eyes shifting to one of excited admiration. 

Your stomach sank as you saw the shift in his expression, the peak of his interest making him look like a dog in heat. You were afraid he might miss your lips and smash straight into your cheek. Kains thumb was quickly replaced with his tongue, slowly gliding against your lips as he bit their fullness. He tasted bitter, like thick smoke and faint tobacco. 

Kain on the other hand, was finally…finally, getting to experience the sensation of your arousing mouth, the one he had fantasized about so many times. He fantasized about how they'd taste during your first kiss, while he ran his fingers against the dip of your back, how they'd look around his c-- 

Your relentless teeth made blood trickle from his bottom lip, surprising the guard as he let out a pained groan. But Kain was too stubborn, he wouldn't let you go just like that! He had gone too far now, he couldn't go back to the way things were-- he needed you, needed this. 

But you felt so lewd, Kain’s forced kisses making a slew of wet sounds as he occasionally slowed to pull at your lips with his teeth for payback, leisurely grinding against whatever he could press up against. Lord, it was like a high from the heavens for him; your body, your smell, it was enveloping him in a joy he hadn’t felt since... Well, since he could last remember. 

Your knee came to push deep against the officer’s crotch. You could feel the shift in between his legs as you shoved as hard as you could. 

Kain let out a muffled groan, separating from you for a moment.  But he only returned with a bitter laugh, kissing you between revengeful bites. 

"Sweet little nurse," Kain singsonged, looking at how you winced at the burn of raw bites left on your lips. Your feet shuffled underneath, twisting and turning to wriggle your knee deeper into his crotch. "How're you gonna fight off the big bad officer? Hm?"

Kain’s leg rammed between your thighs, forcing them apart. He dug the toe of his boots into the wall, positioning so you were practically sitting on his leg. 

"Fuck you," you spat, hating the way he pulled at the back of your collar to lift your head back, making it easier to kiss you. "Eat shit and die, Kain. I'm not your fucking toy-!"

The officer giggled like a schoolboy, feeling a painfully intoxicating sting from your words. The anger and yearning made it harder for him to see straight. 

"We'll see about that…!" He huffed, lifting your jaw to the sky. A long, wet stripe made its way down from your chin to your ear, a shudder leaving Kain’s mouth as he swallowed the salty tang of your skin. 

You heard low chatter from the radio attached to his hip, his name repeated by a deep voice.

“Officer K..ain.. four..… intruders…4--” The voice was cutting in and out, static making the message hardly discernible. 

“Shit…” Kain huffed, kissing through words as the corner of his lip became smeared with blood. “Why now-- for mm.. fuck’s sake….”

Kain’s head fell low as he left your lips, hanging in frustration. You were gasping for breath as you turned your head to the side, dizziness coming in a small wave. 

The surface of your skin felt hot, a sharp taste left in your mouth from Kain. The officer was currently licking over his lips, tasting the remains of your sweat and his own blood. 

Your head throbbed; the sterile stench of the hospital clung inside your nostrils, thick coughs coming from the room over, your 'patient' likely still feeling the twinge of his insides bleeding out. How could you still be dealing with Kain's bullshit, while the world around you was continuing to be mauled and raped by the disease plaguing your species? 

The officer was an effective distraction from your nursery duties, his grating voice interrupting your thoughts as he still clung to you.

“Nurse, help me out,” He whined. “I can’t go out there looking like this!" Cain threw his hands down, letting you go to your surprise. "C’mon what do I do? You're the expert.”

You saw what kain was referring to, his hand covering a bite of retaliation you left on his neck, and the crotch of his black pants billowing out in a restrained fashion. 

“Dear g-- Kain!” your immediate reaction was to shove kain back away from you, But the guard held a hand to his forehead, hardly lurching backward from your assault. You hit him afain, repeatedly punching at him to get him back for all thar had transpored. But kain merelt pushed his hair back to show his glistening forehead, barely holding up a palm to protect himself. 

Kain chuckled wryly, groping at himself in a futile effort to make his erection less noticeable. 

“This is all your fault--! Fucking…Asshole--” You grunt, mumbling curses as you pushed at the man again. “You don’t have the time, anyway. Get out of here, go do your damn job.” Wiping your mouth, you look at his radio. 

You were tempted to chew him out as he stood still, but Kain got to you first. Rubbing at your neck to get rid of his love bites, you fell prey to Kain’s harsh shove of your shoulders against the wall. He seemed to throw you around like a stuffed animal, his strength 

 Kain grabbed your shoulders, shoving you against the wall again. You let out an involuntary “umph”, as the officer pressed his flushed forehead against yours. His fingers reached for your chin again as you tried to jerk your head away.

“Look at me-- before I go,” His voice grew low and harsh as he whispered, the clear stomps of other officers clicking outside the patient room. “I suggest that if you don’t want to be reprimanded by the guild--” Kain stopped momentarily, grinning as he imagined in his head. “Come to my room. Tonight.” 

“...Room?” You questioned. Ah right, all the officers got rooms to stay in, while the rest of you measly survivors had to sleep close together in tight quarters. "Like hell I'll do that. You're the reason they're on my ass, they think I told you to defend me!"

Kain frowns, dissatisfaction making him furrow his eyebrows.

"What was I supposed to do? Let that guy practically violate you with his words? I couldn't stand letting him do that." he clicked his radio off, annoyed by the continued static call of his name. "You, wouldn't have allowed that either. I know you, you would've unleashed far worse than I had; but, I saved you the trouble, and the ass beating."

"But--" 

 "I know i know, you're still being 'reprimanded'," Kain gagged as he scrunched his fingers. "However, i could easily sway the guild council's opinion as a leading officer… in return for something, of course."

Your eyes narrow. 

"And how would you do that? You're the one that caused this whole mess in the first place!"

 Kain’s mouth was left lingering open against your cheek as he tried to hold himself back. 

"A few of the council members owe me some favors… I wouldn't mind cashing one in if it meant, a night with you."

The guard’s breath hitched, his damp cheek pressing against yours as you winced in disgust.

“Seriously? You're willingly playing into their corruption; disgusting.” 

Kain dug his hand into your hair, taking a deep inhale of it, ignoring your criticisms. He tried to press you up against him, as if your body wanted to give him physical affection. 

"Take it or leave it. It's a much better choice than the tunnels, hm?"

That made you shudder. You doubted they'd throw you to the tunnels and catacombs of the city for something like this, but who's to say you're not one mistake too close to being zombie bate.

You were too stuck in the dread of what he was asking for. You knew he wouldn’t be satisfied if you let him have you, even if it was just for a night; he’d always come crawling back for more, until he completely consumed you. But did you really want to deal with his bullshit if you didn’t show up?

The radio chimed again, and Kain caught himself before he lashed out again, merely letting out an annoyed grunt. 

“Got it?” He asked, pressing his knuckles against your jaw.

The guard didn’t wait for an answer, instead squeezing your face with one hand and pushing a multitude of kisses on your bruised lips. You tightened your lips shut, trying to turn and grunting as he kissed and kissed and kissed, not a thought of pulling away-- until the radio snatched his attention again. 

All of a sudden Kain’s hands were off of you, his bulky body had pushed past the privacy curtain, leaving it closed. You heard the door shut as he stormed out; shutting the door with a tight firmness that irked you. Letting out an exasperated sigh, you listened to his heavy military boots trudge down the hospital corridors, waiting for them to be completely silent.

That silence was quickly filled once again however, your mind snapping back into work mode as the dying man in the adjacent room’s hospital bed began another violent coughing fit. 

You shut kain out of your mind-- but in the back of your head, you mentally played what you felt would happen tonight if you took up his offer. Hell, what were you going to do with him? 

Murder was starting to sound real tempting.

[angels-whump]

Can you pls do more ideas for vampire and human whump? But more like, the vampire is the whumpee?

Absolutely!

(Im sorry this took a while I was struggling idk why)

Anyway

Vampires have been hunting humans for centuries, it's no surprise that as soon as folks get the chance, they're all too eager to take their revenge.

The best a vampire can hope for anymore is to be a mercenary. There's...mixed feelings about that from both humans and vampires, but hey, it keeps them from becoming some kind of demented trophy.

Their healing abilities and supernatural strength are often taken for granted and over used. Then, the vampire gets shamed for not being in a fit state to continue. It doesn't help that most of humanity wants to eradicate vampires entirely, no one is exactly eager to help them

Because vampires live for so long, those captured by vampire hunters find themselves serving their children and their children's children. That gets beyond infuriating, if one doesn't simply become numb. Aside from being subjected to constant hatred for being monsters and parasites, a lot of vampires end up starving, either at the hands of a human or because of how difficult it's become to get the nourishment they need. Sometimes, with vampires in captivity, the humans will give them something to drink and in their urgency to feed the poor vampire gets stopped and only further harassed for not bothering to ask where it came from. Constantly pounding in the narrative that these creatures are amoral and incapable of empathy, until even the vampires start to hate themselves for it. "You're not even going to check if it's animal blood? You don't want to be a monster, right? You wouldn't want to hurt a person would you? Do you not care?"

Lot of humans love to see just how far they can push the "monsters". Whether it be teasing with food, pushing them to the edge of their life sustaining abilities, or going so far as to turn vampires into little more than vicious, unthinking monsters everyone used to fear them as through "training".

At some point, highly influential people start using their vampires to turn humans who they're upset with/having problems with. Of course, not only does that ruin that person's life, it just adds to the vampires' self loathing. They are literally the humans dumpster now

We all know humans just love exerting power. The worst part is, vampires aren't even viewed as kindly as pets. Most of these vampires weren't even around when they were still hunting humans. Even if they were, how is that any different from humans eating meat? It's just life!

I hope you like it! If you wanted a specific scenario I'm sorry but I'd be happy to write one :)

[hydeomonster]

what's been your favorite scene to write?

I think in general, very big general, it's scenes where one character is sleeping and another is watching over them. especially if the one sleeping is usually chaotic and full of energy but drifts off into a tranquil sleep next to the other character

I think I've written this exact thing thrice with smalletho alone x)

I think I just love that perfect picture of stillness where the world only exists in their immediate vicinity and it's Only Them, yk

now more specifically, that's a bit hard to decide because i only write stuff I like now ^_^' but if i had to pick one it would probably be in a work I haven't published yet (and probably won't for a while). There's a lot of context for why I loved that scene, but it really comes down to the fact the character have so much history and chemistry together, that they refuse to forget or acknowledge, and it makes for very tense conversations that i love so much

here's a (very rough first draft) snippet under the cut of what I'm talking about

it's Joel and Etho, sitting down in a room to talk at Etho's request, after Etho disappeared out of Joel's life and reappeared out of nowhere.

The silence stretched. Once again, neither of them said anything nor made any move to push the conversation.

Joel should be angry. His blood boils and his hands turn to fists again and again over his laps, he could barely contain the whirlwind of thoughts currently rushing through his mind right now.

And yet he wasn't angry enough. Joel should be yelling and screaming at Etho. He shouldn't even have let him come this far into his restaurant, his life.

Why did Etho have to look so calm and peaceful? The satisfaction of seeing him a nervous mess in front of his patreons is long gone now that his metaphorical and literal mask are both on his face. He sinks into the cushions without a semblance of care in this world he has no place in.

(There used to a place here, made and crafted and sculpted especially for Etho, right alongside Joel's. It's closed up now, no longer bleeding like an open wound marking the man's absence.)

Joel clears his throat of the nothing gathering there. Not the words threatening to spill out, not the accusations nor the sobs. Nothing was there because there was nothing left between Etho and Joel, but the table and Vinyard Roses.

"I hope you're happy with yourself," The dragon's voice cuts through the silence like a sword tearing through the [something idk]. "Knowing these drunkards, you're going to put a dent on my expenses this month."

He could not derail the conversation. Joel didn't want to– he wanted this over with as fast as possible. But also, his heart strings are being pulled on all opposite directions. He wanted this to last, to not end so soon and so abruptly, because he knew when it did, it'd mean Etho being gone again. And still he felt like rushing head first out of the door.

"How was I supposed to know I shouldn't show that around– I, you– You're the one that gave me the talisman!" Etho [retorts?], voice cracking. He seems to finally look a little less composed, fraying [?] at the seams.

His brows shot up, kicked puppy eyes and sad quivering lips under his mask.

Alright, even Joel knows he's overdoing it now. He's learned how to decipher 'anxious' Etho from 'overdramatic' Etho a long time ago, even if the man would never acknowledge 'overdramatic' Etho's existence.

"How were you supposed to– When I told you, maybe?!" Joel parrots back the human's words. Crossing his arms over each other, he leans forward just for emphasis, "These people would eat you alive at a whiff of your blood! Do you know how much human meat goes for on the market here?"

That was a lie; the fact is Joel didn't actually know what the monsters of this realm would even want a human for, let alone why they would eat one as scrawny and thin as Etho – or one at all, Gods know they're packed full of weirdness, like Iron and tiny little creatures – or why they would sell human meat of all things. There's better stuff out there, much easier to get.

But still, playing into Etho's fears of the unknown and his survivability seems to work a little. The human shrinks just that tiny bit on himself, averting Joel's gaze.

The dragon leans on the back of the sofa and let's out a slow, even breath.

That should've calmed him down. But no, instead, Joel is reminded of all the previous countlessly numerous times he has scolded Etho, just like he has now, over his health, or his safety, or his attitude, or his whatever-Etho-does.

And it's like someone decided to throw an island at him without any warning, expecting him to balance the load of trees and streams and houses and life on his shoulders on top of everything else. And maybe that someone was Etho, strudding [?] back into Joel's life as if he belonged there in the first place. As if the would hadn't gotten infected and rotted a long time ago in the silhouette of a masked white haired man.

Etho sits sheepishly silent the whole time.

Of course he would, it's Etho. He can afford to make Joel wait, because like always, Joel will wait for him.

[iheihairu]

can you give me some more details about how ayano's relationship(s) with all members of the kenference vary? i'm really intrigued!

Oh word! I have so many little fantasies for her... I'll put it under the cut!

So! I'll try to do this in as chronological of an order as I can! Mandatory disclaimer that the personalities of each Ken is based on my alters, so things may not be as "canon" as they could be. It also means some get more fleshed out stories than others 😔

Kuro gets full ghoul Ayano. She only sort of replaces Touka; really she more works alongside her. Touka is young and brash, so Ayano fills in the gaps of tenderness Kuro needs during this really, really scary time. To Me, it seems like everyone tender in Kaneki's life at this point is also kind of... I don't wanna say a wimp, but sort of? They're all so hands off and distant. As much as I love Ryouko, she's not helpful in Kaneki's acceptance of himself. I know there are lots of reasons, from ghoul culture to story necessities, but I don't care! God NO ONE cradled that poor boy?! NO ONE tried to meet him halfway?! Huff! So Ayano does. Ayano finds him in that alleyway instead of Touka. I like to make it close to her apartment, so she hears some commotion and rushes downstairs. She's a bit of a firecracker and Like Hell you're gonna have your stupid little ghoul fight outside her LITERALLY HOUSE. Get outta here! So she mouths off to Nishki and protects Kaneki and once there's peace she can finally get a look at the trembling boy before her.

One of my favorite story tropes is that Outsider that Loves Humans. The ones where a fantastical creature is not human, but wants to either be among them or take care of them. Touka is kind of like this, but doesn't play into it hard enough for me, so I give Ayano all the love for humans I can muster in this story. And fellow ghouls, to a point, but humans are just gentle. Just frightened. She's like the people that raise their cows and love them so so much, and kill them as humanely as she can and loves every every bite. So, she sees Kaneki and is like hey. Are you good? You don't look good. Oh- Hey why do you only have one lil eye 🥺? What happened? And Kaneki wails that he's not Like Her. He's not a Ghoul! He's not a monster! But wow that corpse looks good! And she feels such pity for him... So she shushes him, and gets down on his level and tries to soothe him. Will you tell me? Tell me why your eye turns, if you're not a ghoul? It's not accusatory, just curious. Her voice would be gentle and quiet, and maybe against Kaneki's comfort she would try to offer physical affection. Petting or just resting her hands on him to try and ground him or soothe him or Something. When he'd tell her his story, her mind would start working. She would be the angriest on his behalf, not because how dare they make you a terrible awful ghoul, but how dare the hospitals nonconsensually do something like that. The more she learns about him, orphaned and alone and with One Friend, the angrier she gets. And the more suspicious of the hospital's intentions. If she knew how to sue...

I like to think she tries to make eating... Familiar or fun or something. I imagine she tries to cook the meat or uses cookie cutters and a real good knife to cut it into cute shapes. I think Ghoul Culinary is SUPER overlooked so I think she should make jellos and soups and meat wraps filled with strips of organ meat... There's no reason food can't look like food. If it helps... And maybe they learn Together. And it takes a little coaxing, but Ayano is going out of her way to take care of him, the LEAST he can do is try to eat this meal she cooked for him. Little steps! Sugar cubes and star meat!

For Shiro, things get pretty complicated. He's so... Distant. And putting her Anywhere has pros/cons. Shiro gets the most AUs if I'm honest 🥲 It's so hard to place her beside him! So I divert wildly to be able to see him at all! Sometimes it's little snippets of smoking outside. Two strangers, both stressed in their own ways, sitting out watching the shoreline in the dark and silence. They don't ask about each other, just stare and bask. Maybe bring up little things that don't matter. And maybe they do that often. Sometimes it's tattoo artist AUs, or something else casual to let them Talk. I haven't found the perfect Shiro story yet :( He's often very possessive in the stories though! Wanting Ayano to have a Good Life. One she doesn't have to fight through. He's the stalker type. The kind to try and control her life, whether from the inside or from a distance, depending on where he is.

240 gets lots of love... Fantasies of working with him and/or breaking him out of that terrible awful place. Of soothing him through intense panic attacks and washes of emotional distress and trying her best to keep him from hurting himself. Cradling him as he cries and screams, but also so selfish that she won't let him go. It gets a little yandere here, with her convinced his path led him to these terrible things, but if she could change the path he was on, he could be happy. It flits between tenderness and possessiveness, with Ayano needing him close and dedicating herself to taking care of him, for better or for worse.

Haise of course gets Quinx Ayano. Her superior she is so so in love with. The kind of connection that takes off right away, and they become best friends. Ayano again fills in those Firecracker Gaps, and sort of becomes the father figure. When Mama Haise can't get the gang together, Ayano is repremanding them and putting her foot down. Though, she shouldn't be a parent in this case, because a lot of her reprimanding involves insulting the intelligence of her coworkers 💀; She thinks the bullshit is "dumb as hell" and if they dont "knock it off" she's gonna have a "WHOLE moment." She's not afraid to spar and she's not afraid to call people out. Especially now that Haise is on the line. She'd do Anything for him and his happiness.

She hates how the CCG treats him and is sure ti compliment him lots. She tells him how much she likes his smile, and his jokes. She pours her heart into him, even if she knows she shouldn't. If she's anything, she's loud and proud about everything she does, and that applies to love And order. She probably confesses quietly one night. While they clean up after dinner and after everyone has exhausted the TV and living room. While they wipe down the counters, she would whisper Haise... I love you a lot... I know I'm not supposed to. It's okay if you don't love me back. I just want you to know...

I think Haise would do the Right Thing and reject her at that moment, but I don't think it would stay like that. I think it would become even more obvious that he has a bias towards her. They'd spend lots of time together, and Haise would invite her shopping or what have you. They'd sit too close to one another and be Touchy. Platonically, like the lightly smack your friend when you laugh or bump or lean on one another. They have to get sneaky about it. Even against Haise's better judgement, love feels so good...

They share secret kisses and touches and try not to get caught

Reaper takes a bit of a hard left bc... as much as I love him I also wanna beat him up bad? They definitely spar. A lot. Out of love? Ayano pushes herself to be able to beat him because she's tired of picking fights she always loses. Reaper doesn't Hurt Her hurt her, but he does always win, and even he can manage to start getting cocky about it. They probably do a lot of "illegal" fighting moves, like biting, but that goes from playful to heated kinda fast

They argue a lot, but it's all in good fun. And when Reaper hates himself so so much, Ayano holds him against her chest and pets him tenderly. They're the most dynamic together, in that they have the most back and forth and Loud interactions. They could be doing Anything at Any Time. They're both neurotic as all hell 💀 "Don't piss me off" is their I love you

I don't have much much for the later stage Kens! I need to ! Make more stories! Sometimes I think she would fight when they play hero. Sometimes she would support him blindly and entirely. Sometimes Ken would try to keep her under wraps and sometimes she's his greatest weapon. It's much more washy out later in the timeline ><

[eldritchskribbles]

With Starfield being boring, let me propose a different game for Bethesda to make.

You're the last generation on a generational ship. You are so close to the planet you're going to call your new home. The first proper images of the surface will come through any moment. Maybe they'll be dinosaur like creatures, or giant trees that brush the clouds. Maybe the entire equator will be white sand beaches and fruit trees.

What you see instead turns the excited hub silent. The planet isn't uninhabited. It's abandoned.

Billions of structures litter the surface. A few mega-structures mark what must have once been cities. Homes dot the entire landmass, roads crisscross the plains. It's an echo of the Earth your great great grandparents said goodbye to.

You land in the middle of farmland. You don't have much choice, your ship was made to get you here and no further. No one wants to leave the ship. You draw the short straw.

Exploration begins. You find empty town after empty town. Belongings are left where they fell, food still in cabinets.

No bodies.

Once you don't drop dead, people slowly start to disembark, but the generational ship you're supposed to take apart stays in one piece. No one feels safe dissembling their only refuge.

You find a special kind of vehicle. Its in the landing bay of some important building. You and your companion get it running, and you quickly figure out that it's space worthy. It can go almost the speed of light, as fast as the ship that brought you to this system. It's only large enough to go short distances though.

You start exploring the system.

All of the planets have some mark of civilization on them. You find giant domes on one of the other rocky planets, full on terraforming equipment on another.

There are images of the native species everywhere. Photos, posters, mannequins. They seem avian, with colorful feathers going all the way up their backs and a vestigial pair of wings under their almost human arms. They seemed to have eaten insects and plants. You find some giant bug farms which are overrun at this point. A few domesticated creatures can be found, but none for eating.

You get an answer once you reach the furthest out rocky planet. You find the cages. You find bodies. You find a factory farm.

This technology is different from anything else you've seen. It's alien to the alien you now see as familiar. In the center of it all is a giant factory. You go inside.

The natives have been butchered, quite literally. You see different cuts of meat, carcasses rotting half way through being broken down. The worst is when you find the area made for processing the children.

Something Ate the people who came before you. Something rounded up an entire system spanning people and murdered all of them. You find the bits they didn't want in towering garbage heaps.

But where did the monsters go? And could they come back?

[quirkthieves]

"🎧" for Inari, Nobi, Hii and Mioara :)

This needs to go under a cut because hii's literally gets a line by line analysis... oops!

INARI:

Bloody Mary by KANKAN & FAKE TYPE

First of all, naturally, it is the cunt being served here. Kankan has a powerful voice that is complimented incredibly well by the jazzy backing. The whole song is full of energy. The visuals are also stunning in every way possible. It fits on sound alone.

However, the song is also about disrupting the food chain (metaphorically and literally) and eventually becoming the very carnivore you overthrew by gorging yourself on meat? Is this not the core of Inari's character? She is consumption incarnate.

The imagery in the song of the other animals that she recruits eating meet makes me think about her meeting with the Marakuma brothers; "Kneel before me, and I'll allow you to eat openly and unabashedly", despite having just eaten one of their brothers whole. First she dethroned the top of the food chain in the kemono world (oni/the demon clans), and then went for humans-- and in a way, her takeover has allowed for kemono to live openly, but at the same time, it's all at the mercy of her fangs...

NOBIMARU:

Ghost in Kansai by Inukai ft. Gumi

Again, starting with aesthetics: Wooma's artstyle always reminds me of Nobimaru, and the combination of traditional & modern aesthetics works well for the urban fantasy setting of Kemono Jihen. Furthermore, Inukai has a really unique way of tuning Gumi (using her English VB for Japanese, which changes how syllables are pronounced), and the formal, robotic, almost-stilted sound of her voice layered over the high energy techno-traditional backing reminds me a lot of Nobimaru's excessively formal and almost-stilted way of speaking.

(I even started a wip of a redraw of one of the shots ft Inari and Nobimaru. We'll see if it ever gets finished)

As for the song itself, the lyrics of the song, the narrator (the girl/gumi) is singing about the "monster" (snake guy) and how he's built himself up and craves more and more power and popularity, regardless of the fact that it's all dirty/trash. theres also the line "i wish i could live as a child" (free and innocent), alongside the overall narrative of the song. From what I can glean, Gumi is some sort of powerful entity that can control the fabric of reality, but at the whims of whoever commands her (denoted by the scarf around her neck). In this song, it's the snake man, who she laments about being greedy, power-hungry, and not appreciating that she "rustled all this up for him"-- who is then destroyed by the monk, who places his scarf around her neck. this serves as a prequel for the song Idolatry, which ends in Gumi taking off the scarf to bring back the snake demon, despite the destruction it causes because she can't reconcile with her new life and the "boredom" of peace/not being used.

Anyway. I know that was a lot but back to Nobimaru... It makes me think a lot of how cynically he views his own situation and how unchangeable it is, (such as refusing Kabane's request to join Inugami, calling himself a bad person, talking about how he can't do what Kabane does, because if he could... "what would all this dirty work have been for?")...and how all of that goes to building up the power of a greedy individual using him solely as a tool, but being a tool gives him his only purpose. He loves Inari, but he hates her also... he resents the empire of trash he's given her, but he couldn't live otherwise. He bitterly remarks on the others around him, and all with a detached cadence....

HINATA:

Great news, I've already done a song meta analysis for her and it really fucks severely so you're getting it here, too

∴flower×Miku『FrankenX』/ NILFRUITS×harumakigohan

this really fits a universe where she lives (oen of the last lines is “i barely survived”) but thats how it is in my brain

ok so. i have a lot to say on this one please ignore my cringebut stims all over this shit

anyway the theme of the “frankenstein complex” is obvious in this song and i think its even referenced in the description or comments but it’s defined as “the fear of what youve created”. technically the term was coined for computer science and AI but here it’s being used more liberally and so im going to use it liberally in my analysis

I think Hinata feels responsible for who Robara is, and Robara is responsible for what Hinata is. While their abilities set up the idea that Robara can manipulate Hinata’s form as needed (see: the decorations), it’s revealed to us that Hinata is essentially his babysitter: She feeds him, she’s the one who has to cut his hair, to remind him to shower, to dress him, to decide what they do next and where they go. And while you’d think that’d give her power in the relationship, it’s all because of his emotional manipulation– he purposefully refuses to learn how to care for himself so she won’t leave him, and she’s desperate for him to become independent (quote “Sometimes Hinata will reach her limits and snap at him, so he’ll get up and boil noodles to keep her happy”.)

But, y'know, I have to think about Hinata feels. and we don’t have to guess– there’s multiple parts that imply she feels directly responsible for his emotional development as well. Even though he’s an adult and made the choice to be who he is, she feels so guilty that she can’t fix him– she’s afraid of what she’s “created”. even though she was five too, seven, ten, 13, 15, 18, 20, 25… all of her energy and time has been devoted to “creating” Robara, even though it’s all being pulled by his agenda. but she doesn’t know that!

ok past the concept and into the lyrics now

“This ugly, patched heart, please break it quickly”

heartbreak is the loss of a lover, and while it usually just refers to being dumped, i think this could be read as just a pure desperation to get out. to leave, maybe even for him to die– just to get out of here, even if it’s heartbreak

Ah, ah, I’m sick of everything Whose fault is it? Well, no worries Let’s go play somewhere else Ah, ah, why it’s gone bad Was love’s fault

this song in general takes on a really childish tone at times and as we’re aware this “relationship” started when they were 5. both Hinata and Robara show a lot of signs that their maturation emotionally is really stunted, and not only that, but the incident that started everything was Hinata going over to his home to play.

So with that bad kiss Comfort me again please Bad smell, bad smell, XXX this ugly, patched sc-ar-t… Undergo necrosis, undergo necrosis

there’s. honestly a lot i could say here but robara is truly hinata’s only companion. i don’t think his possessiveness and jealousy allowed for a lot of friends, and after 20 years even if she hates his constant need for physical attention it is her only “comfort”. not to mention the medical themes and themes regarding death surrounding ogreham as a whole and their characters albeit underexplored (given that they were really the SIU’s de-facto “medics”)

 Ah, I’m sick of everything, I’m gonna be gone suddenly Come on, just get out of here, “Parasitic-You” such things as “Dreams Come True”, I don’t need them anymore Put me out of my misery, Girl Girl Girl

Hinata’s reason for staying around and being alive is because Robara couldn’t survive on his own in her eyes, but I think she’s afraid of and or knows that she’s going to die someday– or maybe she dreams of just disappearing. Robara’s a parasite, a sick twist on how a rose feeds on the energy it gets from the sun (Hii), a theme reiterated constantly in the manga. She’s given up on having hopes and dreams on her own outside of him, and I think…I don’t know. It’s just sad

Patrons are limited, wanted to protect, loved them so much Wanted to touch, wanted to stare at, wanted to tell, dimly watched Still young, our nightmare

Hinata wants to protect Robara but she also wants to protect people FROM Robara. Not only that, but it’s mentioned in a twitter post from I believe…2020’s? Hinata’s birthday that the heart necklace Hinata wears was a gift selected by her and Robara going to the store and asking what’s the most popular among couples so they could have some sense of being a “normal” couple. Everything they do is just a farce at playing house, because they started dating when they were FIVE. nothing about their relationship is normal or real, and she KNOWS that. She wants to be one of them, but the rest of her life is here.

So with that lightning kiss I gave the first cry Bad smell, bad smell, XXX “I can’t stop thinking about you” Spit words like a slave!

Once again returning to the theme of decay, especially a decaying “heart”– decaying MEAT, which underpins a lot of the imagery between them. Not only that, but the last line emphasizes how much of a pretend game their PDA is– and while the quote is supposedly said by the other person in this song, I think even then it fits with how Hinata could’ve began to view the cycle the two of them were trapped in. As little sympathy as I have for Robara, she did genuinely care about him, and her perception of him seems to be that he’s trapped by his desires and inability to change.

So you were just toying with me with those poisoned lips!

Hinata never got the chance to realize that Robara was fucking. lying? he was just lying and manipulating her. In the manga he admits that she was too good for him and he couldn’t let her go, but in side material from Aimoto we learn that Robara’s incompetance was INTENTIONAL. he was aware that she wanted to leave him and pretended to be helpless so she wouldn’t because she’s too kind. While it’s true there was an underpinning of apathy towards his own physical care, It was very much intentional on his behalf. He was just fucking messing with her head he could have stopped all of this if he wanted but he didn’t want to lose someone who devoted herself to him so entirely because he knows he’s a piece of shit

Come on, just get out of here, “Ministering-You” Ah, apperlapapp or papperlapapp? Enough is enough

Once again, I’m coming from the perspective of her living because. Fuck the end of Ogreham lol but. I think this is her finally realizing that this is intentional and the second line is about how all of it is or was nonsense, and that the semantics don’t matter. It’s over.

ok thank you love you . thank you for coming to my ted talk

LACRAMIOARA:

ok after that doozy this one won't be quite as in depth but i'd be utterly remiss if i didn't mention the band that inspired Lacramioara and Leopold's entire existence

a large portion of the characters in their verse are explicitly inspired by specific bands/songs (ie: Johnny Strings and Cross DeVille are both inspired by The Devil Went Down to Georgia), and they're no different! Although the similarity in name (strigoi) may lead you to believe this song led directly to Mioara's existence, it was actually a few different Powerwolf songs that kickstarted it-- I was originally thinking about making both her and Leopold werewolves (or, well, werewolf-angels). I went back and forth on it a lot.

Anyway, you'll notice there's a reference to this song in their official titles-- "Sons of God and Sorrow". Just as a little homage.

But really, heavy metal insane christian vampire angels is just such a badass concept. youre with me on this one right.

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

you KNOW i'm coming back in with the DMC crew for the bingo card!

hey hello finally answering this a mere two weeks late lmao

DANTE

okay so wayyyy back in the day when I first got into DMC I was admittedly far more interested in Vergil (look it was the mid-2000s and he was a cold-hearted bad boy, what do you want me to say) BUT over the years my Dante appreciation has grown exponentially

I am sobbing wailing screaming etc. I just want him to be happy. I want him to acknowledge his found family. I want Nero to drag him to Fortuna for a family dinner and have Kyrie make him eat a real meal. I want Dante to take Nero back to Redgrave to visit Eva's grave and tell him about both Eva and Sparda - the people, the parents, not the legend and his sweet wife

(I have. a lot. of Eva feelings. we'll get to that later.)

VERGIL

BINGO. God I just I can't I can't sum up my Vergil feelings just like Vergil cannot acknowledge his own feelings because his entire life had been so wrapped up in the scant hard cold comfort of unbending pride because if you don't admit you're hurting, that's almost as good as not hurting in the first place, and he's a DEMON okay, he's a DEMON, a DEVIL, not some weak flimsy human!!!! A DEMON!!! He's a big tough strong cunning evil powerful monster!!!!

Vergil is an open wound that has been festering for decades, a body and soul stretched literally to breaking point by cruelties beyond imagining. He's been a slave, a torture victim, his mind and decisions taken from him to be a meat puppet for his father's greatest enemy, cursed by the blood of Sparda so fully and thoroughly that the only way he can deal with it is to pretend it's the human in him that's cursed. Because he can never pretend he isn't part-devil, but maybe he can quash the humanity in him and pretend he's all devil.

How far is Vergil responsible and/or culpable for his crimes? What are his crimes? How many (if any) died when he raised Temen-ni-Gru? Were those deaths forgivable in pursuit of a greater good, or was it entirely selfish? Did Vergil feel the weight of Sparda's unfulfilled promise fall on his shoulders and this way the only way he could avoid buckling under the expectations of his bloodline?

And what about the Qliopoth? Did he cause it to sprout in Redgrave, or did he just take advantage of it? Can Vergil the person be held responsible for what his demonic half did after the separation? If so, is that balanced out by the heroic actions of V as his humanity?

I just!!!!!! god. I love him so much. I want to wrap him in the softest blanket and kiss his forehead like the world's angriest little kitten. I want to send him to therapy so badly. I want him to come back for DMC 6 on the good guys team but wearing a Bad Man shirt.

(come on I can't be the only one who sees the resemblance)

EVA

"but beth, eva was only in the game for like five seconds before she got ganked--"

shhh. shhhhhhhh. that's the only part of DMC 5 that will never be canon in my heart.

okay so many many moons ago I read an amazing Eva origin story called Rapture on ff.net and forever after it informed my headcanons about Eva - to whit, she was a devil hunter, had overcome tragedy in her past, and was every bit fierce and furious enough to go toe-to-toe with the Devil Knight Sparda

so you will never get me to believe that Eva did not go down all guns blazing, fighting to the last drop of blood in her veins and the last gasp of breath in her lungs to protect her boys

even if you don't subscribe to that theory, you can't get away from the fact that Eva must have been a truly spectacular individual to attract Sparda's attention - especially since we've never had any indication that Sparda had any other lovers, or at least never had any children with them - and I just can't make myself believe it was all down to ~sweetness~ or ~purity~ or ~beauty~

my Eva grew up in rural Appalachia; grew up hunting, shooting, riding, and idolising her older brother in all of his dyed-black-hair, poetry-loving, stick-and-poke tattooed, skinny goth glory

(because, after all, it only makes sense that Vergil's humanity drew upon his human roots for form and face and so many other things that Vergil never really let himself acknowledge)

and life is good, right up until the day demons attack their homestead and Eva is the only one who gets out alive -- because her beloved older brother throws her on a horse and stays behind to shoot down the horde until he goes down

I don't wanna just stuff ten thousand words about my hc Eva backstory into this meme lmao but suffice to say she's tough as nails, a tightly-coiled spring trap of badly-suppressed trauma, conflating isolationism with strength and guilt with duty. When asked why she takes up devil hunting, she will only say -- if not me, then who? When she first hears of Sparda, she thinks he's a fairytale; then, later, she's willing to believe he was once real, but has long since faded into history... and, anyway, shouldn't it be down to humans to protect themselves rather than always relying on the benediction, the protection, of a higher power?

because Eva's family were good, stern Methodist folk, and God didn't stop the demons coming. Sparda? Eva has no faith in Sparda.

and when she relocates to Redgrave City and figures out there's a powerful demon stalking the streets of the city?

she'll damn well take care of it herself-

[gust-jar-simulator]

Okay time for unhinged crossover logic.

There are two Links I like to subject to vampire drama: Four (I really need to invent a tag for those rambles) and Wild. To sum up the way I write them fast and dirty, the methods are as follows:

Four: In Four Swords Adventures, the split Links explode into force gems (crystallized life that is also money) when they die, and in either that game or Four Swords can be resurrected by sacrificing force gems. In addition, the Four Sword itself feeds on/must be powered up by force gems. Therefore, considering how closely tied his existence is to the sword by this point, Four must feed it (and by extension himself) life force or suffer consequences. He can improvise to a limited extent by feeding on elemental magic, or living blood, but none of it is as efficient as force gems.

Wild: After being killed by magic lasers that may or may not have been able to infect his body with Malice like a horrible STD, his brain got completely rewired by Sheikah tech. An argument could be made that he's a cyborg on some level, the Shrine of Resurrection flooding his veins with nanobots or any other sci fi method of keeping a corpse breathing. As such, like other forms of Sheikah tech, he is vulnerable to infection by Malice and the call of the Blood Moon, and might be able to literally cannibalize Guardians to repair himself as well as drain energy from shrines and towers.

(Also as a side note, considering the horrors of teleportation tech, the Sheikah database has likely memorized what makes Wild and how he was put together, and could theoretically generate another one of him if he dies again.)

Where am I inputting my crossover logic?

I've been sitting here for the past hour thinking about the concept of diablerie from Vampire: The Masquerade. To distill it to the essentials, diablerie is the act of a vampire drinking another vampire's blood to the point of final death, consuming even the soul. This has advantages in that you obtain their power level and abilities. A major disadvantage, however, involves the "consuming the soul" bit- if you're not strong enough, the vampire you ate could overwhelm your consciousness. Uno reverse is a bitch.

Diablerie also happens to be addicting, because getting a little sippy of life force is nothing compared to the pleasure of completely consuming a soul.

I started my idea of vampire!Wild with a singular image in my head: Wild's face and arms smeared with bluish fluids, sucking on a broken hose yanked from the undercarriage of an upturned guardian.

The thing is, most every guardian in the game has been infected by Malice. Wild is absolutely the type to investigate new things via biting and ask questions later, and he can successfully eat monster parts (as well as monster essence) without many complications. We've all tried to cook guardian parts into an elixir at least once. But I can't help wondering if it's like the difference between mineral iron and organic iron- chewing on metal won't give a human any nutrition, but we can get the iron we need from meat. Maybe Wild's augmentations can filter out the consequences of eating raw hinox liver, but they might be vulnerable to Malice that has adapted to the shape of a magitech electronic virus.

I love the idea of his normal instincts (food heals) getting influenced by magitech input (cannibalize broken tech), and it's not like he has commendable impulse control that would second-guess the urge to drink robot coolant. Stuck in the middle of Hyrule Field with the last of his kebabs gone, why not try it?

Have you ever been so thirsty that you go for a sip and then start chugging because the water feels much better going down than you expected, jaws practically latching onto it like a stubborn wolf?

I keep thinking about it. I keep thinking about the idea that if Wild feeds on guardians to fuel his own internal systems, he's insanely vulnerable. And if he goes too far, is the infection something that would burn out? Would he just have his own private Blood Moon event, ripping through the countryside until he finally blacked out, or would the virus puppet him past the point of consciousness? I don't think the Sheikah really understood the concept of firewalls or antiviruses. Why would they need any?

Four, by contrast, is less vulnerable to any kind of corruption (barring, perhaps, dark magic) but much more vulnerable to the pitfalls of being a well-adjusted civilized human faced with the urge to devour life energy. Starving even though he's eaten a three course meal. Thirsty even though he's drank an entire bucket, or tried to. The human body doesn't have the signals necessary to covey your sword is starved for energy, wires are bound to cross in confusing and ugly ways. Headaches, weird cramps, until finally the sword he reshaped starts altering him in turn.

Hylians eat with their mouths and kill with their hands. A sword eats and kills with the same organ, but the base instinct of magic could get the point across well enough. If he won't eat by stabbing, maybe he'll eat if the magic makes his Hylian body more effective- steel claws and steel fangs, the better to gut monsters with. Or people. It's not like the sword has preferences, it just has hunger. Symbiosis is a two way street: Four made the sword, infused it, empowered it. The sword, in turn, broke him down and remade him. They're the same creature with the same needs, now. He just needs to realize it before the hunger gets out of control.

The thing is, he's used to fighting dark magic. Depending on your take, and if you utilize the manga, he could find a lot of comfort in the presence of dark magic. If they suspect they're becoming some kind of demon, or infected with some demon urge, Shadow would be their first thought. If they were to confide in anyone about dark urges, who better than the demon who asked them to indulge those in the first place? They miss him. He'd comfort them. He'd soothe whatever burning need this is.

If you don't want to use the manga, dark magic is still a comfort in that it's a preferred target, uncomplicated and simple. You don't have to worry about the morality of attacking a creature made of shadow. It's fine. It's quite possibly the only fine target to have.

Whenever I think about the possibility of vampire!Four losing control, I come down to two options. He's an extremely controlled person by necessity, considering the state of his brain. He thinks twice about literally everything he does. It would take quite a lot of pressure for him to drop that control, past the point of manageable and straight into "you cannot afford to be afraid to injure him, because he's Ruthless and Not Listening". With Wild, preferred prey would be Sheikah tech followed up by whatever the Malice wants dead. With Four?

He's going to find the nearest source of dark magic and bite the fuck out of it, either because Shadow is safety Shadow can fix this, or it's okay to rip and tear a thing this dark, I can let go and be a monster to a thing like this.

In other words, Twilight is in danger. Dark is also in danger, he's just not typically close enough to bite.

I'll come back to this at some point, but I wanted it out here.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Random Eyeless Jack tongue hcs

Cw// kinda borders into suggestive territory if you squint, but nothing intentional? Writing this before actually putting down the hcs, but

Yeah

Nothing too crazy, obviously

Also cw// for body horror and shit since I also wanna dive into his whole.. how he got messed up

Getting the body horror stuff out of the way, I hope yall already know ab my whole curse hc/interpretation on jack

If you dont/if you're new; hi! Welcome to my blog! I hc that jack used to be a normal dude but got dragged into a cult that made him the way he is now!! Real important and relevant to my take on him/I haven't seen many other people use that spin on fan story for this sort of thing

Anyways

As per the whole "his body is shifting into something horrific," thing, his tongue literally. Splits into several tendrils

Havent decided on an exact number, but hes got.. a few alright!

Thick, but get thinner to the tips; and they have the same goop that leaks from Jack's eyes! Sensitive sense of taste; and he can kinda detect scents with them, like snakes do!!

His mouth is kinda crowded, though, so sometimes he'll talk with a bit of a lisp (?), or accidentally bite himself

Now onto the real horror; the process of his tongue splitting was painful, and long. He felt all of it, and given that he's literally turning into a man eating monster, he was unable to seek medical help; so he had to suffer alone and without aid

Obviously, if your tongue is splitting itself open, there's gonna be a mess plus lots and lots of pain

Poor dude

Moving on

They writhe

A lot

Especially when theres... food.. nearby; they tend to flick out (snake like!!!) If hes hungry (tends to lose himself for a while)

In the most sfw way I can say it because there is literally no way I can say it without being sus, they kinda??? Wrap around things??

Like okay I had an art idea, to draw jack with a blood-popsicle, since summer is coming; and with the previous hcs it'd make sense that his tongues would just naturally latch around it and grip said blood-pop

So that's my hc now

Also back to horror stuff i feel like that'd make his feeding frenzies all the more terrifying

I mean when he goes into one he completely loses all his humanity and thoughts and just jumps on someone

Imagine he latches onto someone and like

Idfk anchors them into the persons flesh so they cant just easily shove him off

That's terrifying

I love it sm

Downside; kissing jack is not fun since 1) it's a legitimate choking hazard, and 2) the goop makes his tongues taste gross

I feel like the goop is also, to a degree, corrosive

Or at least, an irritant

Like super powered saliva that can break down meat fast; also explains why I draw jack with huge dark circles n shit around his eyes

I bet yall (who follow my main) just thought I made him tired

Nope, it's his flesh being slowly burned away!! Granted hes more durable to it since the whole monster thing + it's his own material but

Still

So

Yeah!!!

Take what you will with these hcs

[the-voxel]

Is fake dating a thing in voxel media when *vague gesture at the stripes showing emotions*?

Is there a 'stripe change moment' trope when an enemies-to-lovers pairing starts getting into lovers territory?

Do they engage with a lot of non-voxel romance media or do they not 'get it' because it's reliant on humanoid expressions and body language instead of stripe colours?

What would a 'Beauty and the Beast' AU look like to them? Rival athlete AU? X-Men AU? The infamous coffeshop AU?

You can get away with fake dating if you're confident enough. If you're nervous people will find out, they'll all know you're uncomfortable and your nosy great aunt will dig to figure out why. But if you're good friends with your fake partner and relaxed and happy with them, people will buy it. And if you're a little extra giggly about getting away with it? Well that's just new love for ya.

Their stripes turning bright is very similar to when humans blush, so normal romance always has that first moment where their stripes turn very bright with each other. I bet in enemies-to-lovers there's a widely popular moment where one of them will have their stripes go from and angry deep color (say dark red) to a bright one (scarlet) and the enemy in question will suddenly realize everything. Everyone always waits with baited breath to see how the enemy reacts seeing the other has some kind of feelings.

There are a few xenophiles among voxel, who of course are not widely accepted or even known. They may still consider any other species with stripes as objectively beautiful, but not strictly someone they'd want to pursue. But occasionally you'll find one (such as Liithal) who are genuinely attracted to an alien and find their different expressions mysterious and alluring. (if a voxel got with a human, other voxel would consider them a monsterfucker, ESPECIALLY since humans eat meat that's like,,, MASSIVE monsterfucker energy) I have just realized this wasn't your question and will now go on to answer your question.

If they read standard alien romance, they likely wouldn't understand many of the clues and context, meaning all human romance books/movies feel like the kissing comes out of NOWHERE. Not only are human romance stories only set to a time frame of a few days to weeks, but they go through none of the familiar flirting and courting rituals and they go zero recognizable attraction clues.

Many AUs will be similar, but with added layers

'Beauty and the Beast' AU: would be the most different. Of course nothing would have to be changed about the trope for the entire structure to change. To voxel, a beast is something that eats flesh and subsequently has the power to damn a soul, being turned into a beast has MUCH darker implications for the prince. Because as a beast, he's not just "ugly" and outcast, he's essentially the devil of their religion. Quite literally. Their word for predator and their word for evil are the same. So he would be turned into a savage animal that consumes flesh and renders a soul to be lost in the Mirror World.

The Beauty could go a couple ways. Given herself up in place of her father would be seen as the ultimate sacrifice. Because the assumption would be that whoever stayed would be eaten by the Beast. (I can't imagine the father being very liked in this version.) She would start as this ultimate virtuous character, but her felling in love with the Beast would be viewed as her falling from grace. She would be accepting a monster.

Now, the story MAY go the classic fairy tale route, and have the Beast give up feeding because he loves her and refuses to hurt her, and he just slowly starves to death. This may let him die and be redeemed, or he could be transformed back into a prince for learning to love and put other people before himself. It may go the shrek route and have Beauty join the Beast and they become a villain couple to scare little kids into behaving with. Or they may go the disney style and she come to love and understand him more, and she makes him realize what kind of person he wants to be and he has a big heroic moment in the end where he puts everything on the line.

No matter what, this concept is highly complex, factory made to be filled with religious messaging, and can have endless variations.

Rival athlete AU: Not much to change here. Voxel have sports and they get competitive enough for rivalries.

X-Men AU: There may be some reluctance toward getting people to read this one, since the idea of superpowers isn't highly popular. But once you got an audience voxel would LOVE sending characters to the x-men universe. The idea of a voxel going to Xavier's school and being surrounded by humans would resonate with how many voxel feel about taking their place among the galaxy. It would have all the usual x-men themes of acceptance and equality.

The infamous coffeshop AU: Well, as they function on communism, there is a stark lack of shop to go with their coffee. Also, voxel don't really have an equivalent to coffee to be putting in these shops. It's probably more common to write about characters working in a brewery together. They can have to romantic tension over tasting for fermentation levels together, pine while watching each other suggest fine thick wines to a mother planning her kid's wedding, and of course there has to be that one scene where they get a lil tipsy and confess their feelings. Just all around, this is what they write instead of a coffeeshop.

[sylvaridreams]

Gathering my thoughts from last night + this morning on Bourbon and why he tries so hard to get along with my mordrem sylvari. It hit me last night during pacing hours (the hours in which I pace) WHY he gravitates to my mordrem, and why they in turn are willing to lean on and trust him as a mentor figure. It feels so obvious now, but before I was just going with "Oh I dunno he's nice and he tries to be kind to people, he's like an uncle!"

No, it's literally because he's lived their same path, he's been torn out of his home, he's had his racial identity stripped from him, he's lived the same experience of "I can't return and I don't fit in to the person that people would prefer me to live as." He gets it and that's WHY he tries so hard, with Auru and Darlio especially. He knows their rage. He HAS their rage. My home, where I belong, was taken away with force, and I have no home to go to now, and I have to live between worlds and fit in nowhere. It's an isolating existence. So few people are going to understand it.

I don't think he's fully, properly explained to them that "I'm "human" but I'm not "a human" and I'll never be able to walk among them as one of them because of my origins," or "hey I was raised by dredge and I'm dysphoric at the thought of being a human and not a mole person," but even Auruim is eventually able to see how Bourbon recoils from being branded as human by others, and understands that it hurts his feelings a lot at the very least. None of my mordremvari are blind to how people treat each other. All three of them know what social rejection and abuse feels and looks like, they'd be able to witness how Bourbon is treated whenever he fails the social check among humans, which I think makes them feel that he IS a safe person to be around. It's not nonstop but it's blatant to them when it happens, and it allows them to reflect that "this is another victim of the world's cruelty."

Plus there's this sense of, you not only get what I'm going through, you're fighting against what they're doing to me-- I think he'd stand up for them when they're mistreated, obviously. But not just "Hey, you can't say/do this blatantly cruel thing to this person just for being mordrem" but also like, no, you can't do these subtly cruel things to them. Someone cracks an off color joke at dinner about dragon minions and people laugh, maybe none of the mordrem are even THERE to hear it, but Bourbon is like THAT'S not funny, there are mordrem in this camp and they're fighting on the same side as you. Show some respect. <- Which in turn earns HIM no respect from others, for showing sympathy to elder dragon minions.

It does take time for any of them to trust him. But he gets that. He understands an approach of carrot and stick, he remembers being 12 and starving and dying of exposure and having to be coaxed into the bandit camp with food scraps because all he'd known his whole life was "men are scary monsters that will kill you horribly if they get you." He gets it when Auruim yells at him and shoves him away and tells him to stop bothering him, I don't want to be around you, he gets it when Darlio does the same, he gets Venasis' unintentional cold rejection of him. Surrounding that shell of lonely isolation from the world is a thick layer of fear. When will the other boot drop and when will you hurt me too?

And he isn't able to bridge the gap with any of them until Mawdrey. Auruim starts growing Mawdrey and it quickly overwhelms him-- it wants people to eat, it wants blood and meat and bone, and he's scared because he loves this thing he's cultivated and the Pact will take it from him and kill it, and he's hiding in a storeroom tent with this parasite that's crawling up him killing him. Bourbon is the one that finds him, sits down and holds his hand and lets Mawdrey tear slowly into his arm as well, talks him down and tells him you're not in trouble but we have to get her off you. I know it hurts because I'm hurting too. I feel your pain right now in this moment and I'm here for it with you. Had ANYONE else found Auruim, they would have taken Mawdrey away by force to burn it, and he would never have forgiven anyone for it.

I've joked maybe not on Tumblr but elsewhere that Bourbon is forming an all-mordrem band by manner of teaching each of them to play music and/or sing, and it was mostly like hehe j/k bonk but um. They'd do it for him. 🧍‍♂️ I think he's the one and only person that all three of them can point to and say I trust him and care about him and he loves and cares about me too.

[gamerkir]

More rules are added every week. She just looks at what the girls did that week, takes a shot and then adds more rules.

Some future rules to consider.

Bloom stop eating meat raw, just cause you have the dragon flame doesn't make you part dragon. What do you mean you can cook it in your mouth?! How do you know that?! Why??

Girls: No more experimenting with your powers, especially involving food, without teacher supervision.

Wizgiz does not count, we all know he encourages it.

Faragonda doesn't count either, I thought I could trust her but apparently she gave you the idea in the first place.

Aisha I am proud you can beat the boys at any weapon they pick but stop telling the students that you learned it from me. I've had too many requests for training.

Stella just because they don't realize that your focus is a bo staff is no excuse to use it as a baseball bat to whack them.

Whacking sense into someone is an expression, it isn't literal. Stop trying to hit people for being stupid Tecna I know you know better.

Flora please stop sleeping in the greenhouse. I know one of your plants is sick but you can set alarm spells on it and sleep in your own bed.

I know you girls have weekly pillow forts and sleepovers in the common room of your dorm. It's not technically against the rules but if I hear one more noise complaint or walk in on another Never Have I ever game I'm banning it.

You girls are not allowed to play Truth or Dare, yes it's impressive you painted Cloud Tower sunshine yellow without getting caught but also you girls don't know when to stop. Musa ran naked through the courtyard and scared Palladium and four freshmen.

You're not allowed to play Monopoly either. Flora is vicious, you're all too competitive, and the last game had morphix monsters roaming the halls and the suns refusing to set for three extra hours.

Don't play Cards Against Humanity where other students can hear or walk in on. The fightings left your senses of humor warped and it terrifies the other students.

Rules for the Winx Club's dorm

(Inspired by rules for 1-A)

Bloom: Please stop trying to use your powers in the dorms, you've set off the fire alarm so many times that all the other students think it's broken

Stella: While it's impressive you can do your make-up while sparring, please stop. I can't grade your technique if you are distracted and not trying your best

Flora: No eco crimes of any caliber or I'm banning you from the greenhouse 

Tecna: Stop breaking through Alfea's defenses as a "test" of your skill. You are going to let someone slip in one of these days. I will make you a barrier to play around with, just stop doing it to the main one

Musa: Please keep your music at an acceptable volume

Hearing other people playing music is NOT a challenge

Aisha: Stop climbing the outside of the school. I will find somewhere for you to rock climb, you're scaring the other students by climbing past their windows 

Stop telling the other students Bloom is God. Being the Fairy that holds the power of the Great Dragon's Flame, is not the same thing as being the Great Dragon

Bloom: Stop using your powers to convince the other students you are God

Someone using purple magic is NOT bulletproof evidence that they are Darcy. Stop attacking random students

Bloom: That goes double for you

Stella: Stop telling people Tecna is a robot

Tecna: Stop using your prosthetics to help Stella convince people you are a robot

Musa: Stop giving them new ideas

Flora: While your "onion fumes" spell is incredibly creative and amazingly useful in combat scenarios, I ask that you only use it during outdoor sparring. Making everyone's eyes burn while your sparring is something we want to avoid

Musa: The Cloud Tower girls are thankful that Riven drew the attention of monsters to make their escape, they are not "hussies" attempting to "take" anything from you. Stop trying to fight them

Saladin being unable to say no to Helia is not grounds to abuse this fact to get your hands on random specialist weapons, you've already put yourselves in the infirmary multiple times. At least get someone to train you 

Aisha: This is not a challenge

Flora: Covering your enemies in hornet-attracting pollen is not an acceptable tactic to deal with bullies, please just tell me about it next time

Stop daring Aisha to do random things to see if she's naturally good at it. She probably is

Aisha: Your honor is not lost just because you can't tie a cherry stem with your tongue. Stop adding random things to your training regiment

Amaryl throwing an attack at Stella, which she batted away without a second thought, is not an acceptable reason to make a morphix monster specifically programmed to chase her around the school. I was going to expel her for that stunt anyway

Not trusting new teachers is understandable, hazing them and dumping potions of revealing on them is not. I will let you give them potions in a controlled environment

The hallways are not a controlled environment

Bloom: A specialist telling you that you'd be "prettier if you smiled" is appropriate grounds for flipping him off, not breaking his nose

Aisha: You too

Tecna: You as well

Bloom: Saying "this is exactly what her ghost warned me of" about random things in the middle of a conversation is not acceptable behavior. You are scaring the freshmen

"As the prophecy foretold" is not much better 

Just because Wizigiz says something is ok does not actually make it ok

Stella: Stop making up magical artifacts. I've gotten 16 different questions about completely made-up objects and it's obvious you're the one doing this 

Tecna: At least pretend to pay attention in class. I know you already know most of these things but building a robot on your desk distracts the other students 

Musa: Riven leaving you on "read" is not an acceptable reason to hijack the announcement system to play break-up songs, he probably just checked his phone in between training. Stop doing this. We have actual announcements to make

At least try to be subtle about the fact that you girls are under different rules than the rest of the school. The freshmen are starting to get ideas, and I don't want to deal with that many students in detention

Especially when sneaking your boyfriends in. Yes, I know. None of you are subtle 

Tecna: Stop hacking into the royal students' phones and systems. You are going to start an intergalactic war. Airing out Royalty's dirty laundry is only acceptable if it's really bad, and at least warn me first so I can find a political advisor

Aisha: Stop training the pixie animals to attack people you don't like

Bloom: Tell someone when you're going to take a surprise vacation home, last time Stella woke up the entire wing of the dorms with her screaming because she thought you were kidnapped 

If you're going to get payback for Griffin giving you the runaround when you were at Cloud Tower at least don't get caught. Griffin is somehow more annoying when she's smug

Musa: Stop trying to get the girls to start a band with you, Tecna is tone-deaf, I know you're just doing this to annoy people. Stop it

Tecna: Making a complication of Erendor and Samara making fools of themselves is funny, hacking the projector system to show it during an assembly is not. Just mass text it to everyone, I know you can, you didn't need to do that

If your going to skip class because of a magical emergency it better be a real emergency or I'm going to tell your teachers to start grading your missed assignments

Stella: A bad hair day is not an emergency 

Aisha: Stop intentionally riling up Riven when he's at the doom, I don't care how funny you find annoying him is, just because we can fix property damage with magic doesn't make it acceptable

Stella: Stop biting people. Just stop. It's unsanitary

Do not have Riven, Sky, and Helia at your dorm at the same time. I've heard how those two can get when Helia is there to instigate and I'm not dealing with that. If I get a hint of those three being around at the same time I'm giving you all detention

On that note, if Riven and Sky are going to be in the dorms either keep them in different rooms or have Brandon there to mediate

Tecna and Musa: Stop using your powers to freak out the freshmen when you tell them stories of your battles

Stop using your power to freak out Stella in general 

Stop trying to freak out Flora, it won't work

Flora: Just because you haven't blown anything up in the lab yet, doesn't mean your experiments are permitted 

Musa: Please control your pixie. She's convinced half the students she has the authority to give them detention, and while she's not wrong about their punishments, she can't keep doing this

Bloom: Lording your newfound strength above your enemies is not an acceptable way to use magic. If you're going to mess with this "Mitzi" do it during the breaks 

Please be aware of who is around when you ask Brandon questions about his life as a royal guard. Ophelia has had multiple girls show up because they overheard him talking about torture in graphic detail

Flora: Please warn me when you invite Miele over. Yes, only you and only Miele. I can't even begin to describe the amount of chaos that child can cause with her bugs

If you don't warn me I'm banning all of your siblings from visiting 

Bloom: Please stop avoiding the staff's questions about Kiko. He can perfectly comprehend language. Why can he comprehend language Bloom

~ Griselda, Head of Discipline