#or tell her to fuck off
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
DPxDC Writing prompt: A new circus is in town appeared seemingly overnight, a circus of meta humans with red eyes and equally terrifying and wondrous acts. It’s suspicious as all hell and even more suspicious when Jason suddenly feels overwhelmingly compelled to join it when he sees the commercial for it on the TV. Seriously, where the hell did this ‘Circus Gothica’ even come from?
Ok hear me out; y’know in that one episode where we’re introduced to Freakshow and he brainwashes Danny but then it’s ok because he’s saved by his friends?
What if Sam and Tucker and been too late? If Danny had been successful taken?
What if no one believed Sam and Tucker when they said Danny had been kidnapped and he’s not a runaway?
And what if he’s been brainwashed for over 3 years while travelling in the Circus, the only people caring enough to find him being unable to do anything about it?
And what if Freakshow made the mistake of preforming in Gotham where the Bats dwelled? And where they’ll take a deeper look into the circus’s suspicious behaviour…
#dcxdp#this is just an excuse to have more sibling Danny & Jason#and an excuse to use Freakshow more as a villain#that fucker is TERRIFYING when you think about it#and creepy as all hell#I want to see him in more in fics during flashbacks#danny phantom#jason todd#Freakshow#circus au#I headcanon that Danny is somewhat more aware as the years go by but he’s still heavily under the influence#because he’s a halfa#and he got the werid biology#brainwashed au#idk what I’m doing with Jack and Maddie in this fic#bad parents?#i guess so#Jazz?#she’s going feral#same with Sam and Tucker#but they’re minors so they can’t do anything#Jazz can’t pinpoint and get to the circus in time whenever it stops#Danny is really edgy due to the orb’s influence so I can imagine if Jazz does get there in time that he’ll just dismiss her#or tell her to fuck off#look he’s been under the influence of the orb for years rn#give him a break#No one bats an eye at the REALLY suspicious stuff because of the orb’s influence or the circus just up and leaves before an investigation#seriously#it’s hard tracking a magical ghost train#and the ghosts working there overshadow the authorities whenever things get too heated
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
right in the motherfucking feels
#playing as astarion has fucking paid off#karlach actually is able to tell him she's proud of him#right in the motherfucking feels#ngl gonna headcanon him hearing this from karlach (who he's romancing) is just... it means a lot to him#he doesn't believe her really and he doubts he did the right thing#he's still afraid#but having someone who is PROUD of him?#someone who sees good qualities in him?#he just... can't believe it#karlach cliffgate#astarion ancunin#astarion x karlach#astarion#karlach#jaheira#astarion playthrough
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
Been rereading Little Women recently... or technically, properly reading it for the first time. The last time I touched this book was when I was ten, and the book I touched was a shortened chinese edition (or was it just the first half? anyway) Here are the sisters in 21 century post covid and I think Beth would've loved the groundbreaking invention that is the Hoodie
#i know she plays the piano guys. i read the book#just need to give her smth to carry and decided fuck it my girl knows her strings. piano is part string certainly this isn't a stretch#<- just didn't want to draw keys#behold. you can't tell me jo wouldn't jump at the chance to hack her hair off. she's dyke now deal with it#jo is also a jocky nerd btw#amy's stuff is just what i carry on a weekly basis. go amy#me adding jewelry to meg's fit: heeheehoohoo#art#illustration#character design#artist on tumblr#little women#louisa may alcott#little women fanart#character illustration#character art#meg march#jo march#beth march#amy march#wigglybunfish
891 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have to get these out quick before side order releases
#my art#splatoon#side order#off the hook#dedf1sh#splatoon pearl#splatoon marina#splatoon acht#pearlina#marinacht#<- arent i so fucking smart#i think pearl can be a liitttlle insecure. as a treat. for me#she did also just randomly take off once without even telling marina so??? girl you have this coming#its her penance for winning final fest ok#shes really just overthinking anyway dsbhjfdfs#suggestive#<- just in case lol#edit: i put suggestive in bcuz i was thinking of achts hand and not. the octos doggystylin it in the middle of the goddamn post. am i stupid
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Dreamfyre you’re still the mother of Daenerys’s dragons in my heart and will be until GRRM comes out of his hole to tell me otherwise
#house of the dragon#anti ryan condal#hotd#hotd s2#anti hotd#DREAMFYRE DESERVED BETTER#I hate the idea that Syrax mothered Dany’s dragons because it doesn’t make sense#Arrax and Vermax look nothing like Drogon Viserion or Rhaegal#plus why the fuck are they in the vale?#until GRRM tells me otherwise#Elissa Farman took Dany’s eggs to Westeros because of her love for Rhaena Targaryen#we don’t even see Dreamfyre on screen#IM DEVASTASTED#I refuse to believe this is real#Ryan Condal you can’t fucking rewrite the literal history of the world for your own fanfic ends#I can cause I’m not making money off it but at least I stick to fucking canon
678 notes
·
View notes
Text
Drew a little comic today!
Viz, let Blake be a little shit to Raven in v10 and my life is yours.
Per usual, do not reupload without credit/permission. Thanks folks!
(My ko-fi, should you wish!)
#This whole page spawned from the idea of Blake as that one cat with a knife pointed at it#And real ones know that I would sell my fucking soul for Blake to tell Raven off in v10#ESPECIALLY after what we learn about Raven and Summer in v9#You're telling me Yang's NOT gonna be a bit of a mess when she's forced to be around Raven?#Plus you fucking know Raven would say some shit about how she and Blake aren't that different#“I don't care what you think of me - but you and I are more alike than you'd care to admit girl.”#Raven means that Blake leaves people she loves too#Blake decides it means its time to turn on the terrorist#That's it that's the comic#Blake would probably lose - with Raven's maiden powers and all - but she'd put up a damn good fight to prove her point#God I cannot wait to see the dynamics between Blake Yang and Raven#rwby#rwby fanart#bumbleby#blake belladonna#raven branwen#yang xiao long#temp tats art
428 notes
·
View notes
Text
God dude these two scenes and how roxie moves hurt my heart so so bad 🥹
it's like a mix of anger, feral, emotional breakdown, and complete sadness that just fucks me up soooo fucking bad.
it's like she's a pet who got abandoned by their owner but they see them again after years of sadness and depression of them being gone and leaving them like that and all that anger and sadness just manifest's into one bundle of emotion's towards them they cannot control.
roxie baby ur gonna be okay u deserve better :[
#scott pilgrim vs the world#scott pilgrim#scott pilgrim spoilers#scott pilgrim takes off#roxie richter#ramona flowers#its the fucking fact throughout that whole scene after the hammer she just starts going COMPLETELY feral and just bawl her eyes out#throughout the whole irl fight until the movie shelf falls on them 🥹#can she like#get a hug or something i get her so so much i get u gurl im so sorry u gotta go through this#this episode really just#shows how important closure is for a relationship/even a friendship#like of course it depends on the person and the relationship but man.#People don't realize how important it is to not just leave a person behind like that without explanation but instead give them closure about#it and telling them how you feel.#it really is as simple as that sometimes...and i think people forget that and just wanna ghost/leave as fast as possible#to not deal with the emotions of the situation.#Like both roxie and ramona finally just talking about the situation does sm for their future as friends and i loveeee ittt#so so much better then the comics version off them I feel like this is PERFECT.#again obviously theres just some situations where talking just doesnt work and you both just have to move on.#but when theres situation's like roxie and ramona? talking is needed.#talking/closure is so so important guys remember that when its needed. <3
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
Can we agree that the "Thats two things" line from Mike was autistic as shit
#i love how William very clearly thinks he’s trying to play smart or something but. no he’s just like that#in general hes sooooo autistic. Same goes to Abby.#when aunt Jane noted how abbys meltdowns reminded her of mike I was cheering in my fucking seat#SO autism#fnaf movie#five nights at freddy's#Fnaf#five nights at Freddy’s movie#Mike Schmidt#can’t wait till this movie comes out anywhere that isn’t peacock. please I wanna watch it again but peacock doesn’t even have a free trial#also Just his general anti socialness??????? hello?#the way he just. walks off during the pharmacy scene#or the way he basically ignores max CANNOT be neurotypical#also with the former that his stand-offish nature is seen as rude#ALSO near the beginning of the movie where he tells his coworker about the dream theory-#-and he completely avoids eye contact and just fiddles with his Walkie-Talkie#like that cant be nt behavior
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
dreaming abt sophomore year class swap bard!riz
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#ft. kalina#fh class quangle#tbh Im not suuuper happy with the bones of these designs yet#but also its just a bit hard to measure up to how strong ''kid who wears suit to school'' is#I kiinda gear the sophomore year design specifically towards like. cameraman-esque aesthetics#kind of dude who's working the light rig And the audio at the same time. dude who's running inbetween two huge tripods#theres also a thing with the freshman year arcade scene that I wanted to draw but just do not have the energy today#maybe in the future! if I can be bothered to draw biz lmao#I wanna draw something for cleric!gorgug first anyway... specifically his death in freshman year#man I'm so glad I tossed bard!riz into investigative journalism that is SO annoying. exactly what I set out to do with my classswaps#can you imagine going to school with that guy. can you imagine going to school with tintin#this also makes kipperlilly vs riz even funnier like influencer vs journalist? it'd be the Worst#man thinking of it I should rework gorgug's design too. currently his sophomore design is really zac core lmao#and zac can pull it off but character design wise its. really nothing. laughs#his junior year design is full aerith at least so that one Im very happy with. what if I tell u cassandra is the deity of#the inbetween spaces in this class swap thingy. and gorgug offers her domain as a stop for folks fresh out of a faith to gather themselves#that being transgender as fuck is kinda coincidental lmao. but well I stand by it I like that#nobody's design has jumped out to me like riz and gorgug yet. adaine I have a prreeetty good idea for#mostly bc shes the hoodie kid this time round lmao. gamer adaine true believers rise up#we take it easy! we take it easy as we go. these comics-lite were real fun to do. I should do that more
412 notes
·
View notes
Text
the lamb: yall mind if i explode into tentacles
havin a little fun with the lamb and potential tentacle body horror because i think sometimes they should be gross. why SHOULDN'T these God creatures be an affront to the nature of creation
#cult of the lamb#cult of the lamb fanart#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#cotl oc#cotl fanart#i was just like what if the lamb was like a gross resident evil enemy#*gasps softly* las plagas cultist.......#also i headcanon that narinder can still do that gross face thing but he can't do much else. so he just bothers everyone with it#everyone eventually gets used to it and narinder is like FINE i guess no one appreciates theatrics anymore. fuck off.#the lamb as disgusting and monstrous as ever: hey stop scaring her she's very sensitive :(#neves: *isn't paying attention to the sermon* why is there goo everywhere i hate it here#every sermon has a splash zone. pray u are not in it#U can tell how I got progressively lazier drawing. Sorry.#*continues to shove my oc in your faces*#my art
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
chumtail can be real but he's a shallowclan cat now. sorry
#art#fallenart#fallenlore#to clarify branchstar WAS the leader but he died right before the war began#pondstar is the leader now and he made birchclaw his deputy#branchstar had beech and birch with a loner that didnt want to keep her kits#but he wanted them and she agreed to just leave them with shallowclan and fuck off#birchclaw had chumtail with another shallowclan cat but she refuses to tell anybody who it is#chum and birch are both colorpoints!#as was birch and beech's mother#who knows. maybe one day a shallowclan cat will join fallenclan and ill make them chumtail. we'll see#chum uses they/he btw
224 notes
·
View notes
Text
I think one of the most realistic parts about Baby Reindeer (2024) is how much Donny downplays the abuse he faces
I know everyone wants to hate on him for being “stupid” and blame him for everything that happened because yes from an outsiders perspective he made questionable choices but isn’t that what HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE DO?
I know so many people who’ve “played nice” or tried to downplay abusive behavior. You try and tell yourself “It wasn’t that bad”, or that it was just some crazy experience that should be forgotten. It seems so much easier to stay silent and just try to move on.
You don’t wanna start problems
You don’t wanna be mean
You don’t wanna be the bad guy
#they blame him for not just telling her to fuck off every chance#I’ve seen people say he shouldn’t have kept giving her free drinks#or even he should’ve never given her tea#AS IF SHOWING BASIC KINDNESS WAS THE PROBLEM#people forget that he was still a victim#Donny’s character admits that he messed up in his interactions with Martha but people need to stop and think about the situation#the fear the anxiety everything that comes with being stalked#I know I’ve dealt with creepy guys at work or at school and I didn’t say anything#and so many other people have had the same experiences#it’s easy to say oh I’d do this or I’d do that#when it’s not happening to you it’s easy to assume you’d be better and smarter than them#baby reindeer
483 notes
·
View notes
Text
Omega: "Want to know a secret? I escaped from this mountain before. Know what else?"
#look at this chaotic child#she's ready to seriously fuck some imperial shit up#you cannot tell me she wasn't thinking “count your days hoelock” after explaining her escape plan#i want her to beat him to death with a fire extinguisher#all grown up off to destroy people#the bad batch#tbb omega#the bad batch season 3#tbb s3#tbb memes#the bad batch memes#tbb spoilers
422 notes
·
View notes
Text
When the 212th collaborates with the 501st, chaos is sure to follow in their footsteps. This has been largely true of every engagement since the start of the war, in Cody’s experience. Had he even an ounce more of a rebellious streak, he might question why and whether the success rate is worth the feral instinct for mayhem his battalion and Rex’ awaken in each other - as it is, he simply fills out the after action reports and then screams into his pillow, which is hard as durasteel and doesn’t warrant the name.
Or, on some days, he steps into the training rooms to work off some nervous jitters only for his foot to catch on someone’s armoured shoulder and faceplant straight into what looks like the entirety of both battalions piled together in a massive cuddle pile.
“What”, he manages between gritted teeth, heaving himself up with one hand supported on Crys’ arm and the other planted in places that make Boil jackknife up with a strangled yelp, “the kriff is this?!”
“We’re watching the Corrie Reality Special, sir”, his own voice calls from somewhere across the room. “The 91st is passing by, so we have satellite access to the Coruscant Broadcast network for a few hours, and we couldn’t settle on a specific show -“
“- so we decided to watch them all”, Rex finishes, sheepishly, where he’s fought his way through wiggling piles, hoots and badly imitated monkey lizard noises. The thought that he shares DNA with these degenerates is enough to drive Cody to the brink of a nervous breakdown some days. “Spopcorn?”
Ah. The Corrie Reality Circuit. When Cody first heard of it, he’d thought it was a prank. Then, they were deployed to the middle of bumkriff nowhere on the edges of Midrim space edging on Outer Rim, with a connection so spotty even classified military intel only got through about half the time, and the whole idea got shelved in favour of clankers and keeping his General’s lightsaber in his General’s hand where it belonged.
Now, a gaudy, glittery monstrosity of a logo announcing a Coruscant Rotational special appears on a rigged up screen, which means one of two things: either Fox is pulling the Galaxy’s greatest long con on all of them, or he’s been murdered and replaced with an evil clone (ha!), because there are no circumstances in which he would agree to star on Coruscant Reality TV.
Cody tilts his head consideringly. Rex smiles at him sheepishly. Tilts the spopcorn bowl at him, invitingly.
“Oh, dank farrik, sit your shebs down!”, someone (Fives, probably) yells out, fed-up…ly.
Cody sits his shebs down.
“Good morning and welcome all of Coruscant to the Great Coruscant Rotational Special: Our Boys in Red Edition!”, a bright red Twi’leki man announces on the screen amidst cheerful jizz music and loud hooting from the training room. “My name is Braham Horton, and I will be your exalted host for this fine, fine late night cycle!”
“And now, gentlebeings of the metropolis, I present to you the images that have driven us all to laughter, joy, and even tears at times over these past few weeks - whodathunkit, that the CSF media project would enthrall a whole Galaxy of viewers and cause the largest recorded peaceful civil protest of all time?!”
“The sorry what now”, says Cody, suddenly thinking back to the urgent meeting General Kenobi was currently in with Generals Windu and Yoda - passing by on the Venator in orbit. “Uhm”, says Rex. Braham Horton, unfazed by the commotion he’s causing lightyears away, chatters on.
“- many hours, so we’ve compiled an introductory little best-of for you, exalted viewers! And what better best of to start off on than the hottest entry of the most explosive bombshell into the villa - please give it up for Commander Thorn and how he stole all of our hearts on Love Island!”
A garish, club-tech jingle Cody has so far only heard buzz through the walls of establishments that generally didn’t allow clones thrums through the training room, followed by what can only be described as the sort of noises spiced up banthas might make. Thorn appears on screen, more oiled up and half-naked than Cody remembers, though just as bleach-blond, hair slightly longer than regulation and smile blindingly perfect.
“I’m Commander Thorn, baseline twenty-four years humanoid - during daytime I might be the scourge of Coruscant’s criminal underworld, but at night I don’t mind playing good cop for you!” He punctuates it woth a sleazy wink and fingerblasters that have Rex honest-to-god gagging, and Cody seeing his life flash before his eyes. If Alpha-17 finds out about this…
Suddenly, Thorn’s smile drops in favour of what might almost be called a scowl on even his handsome face, and the music cuts out. “There, got your soundbyte. Can I go back now? I’m supposed to be on shift.” Indistinct, off-screen chatter and a captioned oopsie… appear in a shower of glitter. Thorn’s face does something complicated. “For HOW MANY MONTHS?!”
Cut to a montage of what Cody can only describe as beaches, oil and abs galore, Braham Horton narrates and extremely close-up shot of what Cody tries very hard not to identify as Thorn’s crotch. His own crotch, in a way. Oh no, that’s weird, stop that train of thought immediately-
“Although our favourite bombshell’s entry into the villa wasn’t without its hitches and hurdles-“, emphasized by a zoom-in on Thorn’s form in a speedo huddled away from a partying crowd of softcore-kriffing contestants on a yacht, “- as well as all know, he would soon find his place in the villa - or places, rather!”
Two crying humanoid women appear on screen, with eyeliner smudges down to their knees. A hoot goes through the room. Cody watches with a sense of impeding doom. “You slept with her after I chose to match up with you instead of Chad?! How could you!”
Thorn, still oiled up with both blasters out for the world to see, winces. “I didn’t me-“
A hysterical gasp, a camera swerve. Three more people stand by the doorway, all clutching their chests with wide eyes. A broad, green Twi’leki man raises a finger to point accusingly. “You were sleeping with them too?! I thought I was the only one!”
“Dear Force”, Cody murmurs, unable to look away from the building speeder wreck on screen. Braham Horton laughs good-naturedly at his misery. “Ah, good times! And who could forget the all-out brawl of the following matching night, where a record number of every single other contestant attempted to physically fight the others for the right to match up with Commander Thorn! Including a somehow returned Chad, who nearly won thanks to the element of surprise. I wish we could show the footage, but then we’d have to slap several warnings on it and probably still get taken off the air.”
“I didn’t know Corries kriffed like that!”, someone (Fives, let’s be honest, it was definitely Fives) calls out into the room, receiving snickers and a well-aimed pillow to the throat for his trouble. He goes down with a choking scream.
“Someone who was less impressed by the hot’n bothered beach weather was Commander Thire, who found himself Less than Impressed by his co-contestants inability to keep it in their pants on Too Hot To Handle!”
Thire’s face, identical to Thorn’s in every way except the ones that matter, appears on screen. His black hair is cut in a cropped mohawk, arms folded over a button-up he’s carefully pieced together with… safety pins? Where are the buttons on it?
“These people are pathological and pathetic and I will spend not a second longer on this farce of an attempt at ‘entertainment show’”, says Thire, air-quotes so sharp they could cut stone. His scowl might be permanently etched into his face, Cody can’t tell. “Unlike literally everyone else, I have an actual job to do. Now move.”
A brief pause, in which cheerful jizz music plays over what is obviously a producer begging off-camera, followed by an eyeroll so hard it hurts Cody’s brain to watch. Thire throws his hands into the air in defeat, marching off into the sea behind him still fully clothed.
“When they didn’t find him until the last episode, I’ll admit, I thought he’d died too!”, Braham Horton cuts in cheerfully. “But would you look at his little lonely island lair - now that’s a fulfilled man, and too many coconuts for my taste! We’ve had to blur his hands out as he discovered the cameras just moments before these holos were taken, unfortunately. And, dear viewer, who could forget this exit-interview for the ages!”
A considerably more clothed Thire appears on screen, eyeing a microphone like he’s about to use it to stab out his own eyes. The reporter clears their throat in audible anxiety. “C-commander, how would you describe your reality experience in one word?”
“Demeaning”, says Thire, blandly.
Silence.
“Um, o-okay”, squeaks the reporter.
“Would you like some more words?”, asks a dead-eyed Thire.
“No, um, I think - I think we’re alright.”
“Because I have many words. Mostly for whoever the *bleep* thought this was a *bleep* good idea, and *bleeeeeeee-*”
“We’ve had to censor most of the Commander’s on-screen appearance, dear viewer, for your sensibilities”, says Braham Horton, eternally and painfully cheerful. “And speaking of sensibilities, who could forget Commander Stone honouring his name in several challenges on ‘I’m A Holostar - Get Me Out Of Here!’”
Soulful violin music fills the gym, overlaid with images of a bald vod Cody surmises must be Stone. Stone stares stonily into the void, glass of bright green something raised to his lips and already half-empty.
“Memorably, he downed a pint of acklay urine within seconds-“
Horrified screams are followed by an image of Stone chewing, yet another thousand-klick stare.
“- or when he ate Tauntaun anus -“
Rex doubles over gagging, and Cody slowly puts his handful of Spopcorn back down.
“- of course the ten minute worm-bath challenge cannot go unmentioned -“
“FORCE PLEASE NO!”, screams someone (Echo) tearfully. Commander Stone, buried to the chin in wiggling orange worms, looks less impressed.
“ - and who could forget his encounter with a horde of ginntho spiders and nests of vexis snakes!”
A remote goes sailing past the screen, missing by a mile, as images of Stone with his whole arm stuck in various boxes fly past. Someone is retching. It might be Cody.
“We would show the infamous butchery challenge wherein the Commander found himself drenched in nexu guts and sandworm brains, but once again, this is family friendly programming and we are not allowed. Nevertheless, a win well-deserved. And now, please welcome the one, the only, the awe-inspiring, the unbelievable: Marshall Commander Fox!”
Another Force-awful jingle, big, blocky letters, and Cody chokes on his own spit when Fox’s scowling face appears on screen. He’s thinner, greyer and angrier than the last time they saw eachother in person. Only the last one is really a surprise.
“I am neither naked nor afraid”, says Fox, arms crossed firmly, foot tapping impatiently on the ground. “I am, however, quickly losing my patience. Explain to me again the point of spending my valuable time undressing in the middle of bum-*bleep* nowhere on the Midrim instead of doing my job as the head of planetary security in the middle of a Galaxy-wide war?”
Several beats of silence follow. Fox grows less impressed with each. Cody knows that look well. Usually, it precedes handcuffs and a cold sonic blast to the face.
“Um… you signed a contract?”, says a producer’s voice uncertainly off-screen. Fox barks out a harsh laugh. “I’m legally classified as military property, my signature holds less weight than if I’d had one of the Guard’s massiffs shit on that contract for me.”
“Ouch!”, calls Crys.
“Gettim!”, adds Longshot.
“But… don’t you sign off military documents all the time for the Senate?”, sputters the producer.
Fox smiles with far to many teeth. It’s also a look Cody knows far too well, and even lightyears away it has a shudder going down his spine.
“Really makes you think about the technicalities of that definitely-not-slave-army, doesn’t it?”, he says, dryly.
“Although considerably less naked and afraid than all other contestants, Commander Fox left us with many memorable moments - such as when he saved the entire crew from an angry Acklay!”
Most of the next holovid is blurred out, though Cody can (unfortunately) guess at the why and how. So can most everyone else, judging by the collective groan.
“Down, boy”, says Fox, flatly, to a hissing Acklay twice his size. It rears its fanged head, and a shudder goes through the room. Fox simply crosses his arms and nails the beast with an unimpressed look. “You are making a fool of both of us. Cut it out.”
Chastised, the Acklay blinks at him, slowly lowering itself back down with a confused hiss.
“No kriffing wonder all the Corrie shinies are such hardasses”, mutters Rex, whom Cody is hard pressed to agree with. “I came from a tube and that look gave me daddy issues.”
“Yes, dear viewer, who could forget these heart-warming moments of good, quality television!”, sighs Braham Horton, dreamily. “Not Coruscant anytime soon, that’s for sure! We are now entering the twentieth rotation of the sit-in protest of a petition to allow the Commanders of the Coruscant Guard to compete on Dancing With The Planets, Coruscant Rotational’s epic dance competition!”
“Dear bum-kriffing Force”, whispers Rex, wide-eyed and awe-struck. “Does Fox know about this?!”
Cody, who’s already dialing the kriffer’s comm-code, wipes a singular tear from his eye. “Not a clue, but kriff, am I going to enjoy telling him.”
#sw tcw fic idea#spopcorn: space popcorn#commander cody#captain rex#commander fox#commander thorn#commander stone#commander thire#inspired by a quality month of quality destressing with quality tv#and the fact that i keep putting off booking therapy probably#corrie guard deserves better#they deserve trash reality tv in fact#braham horton the coruscant rotational host#he has his own chitter show which is the only one padme will agree to go on#she’s a simple woman. let her get sloshed and talk shit fashion and radical leftism your honor#i wanted thire to have more fun but he didn’t wanna#not shown but featured in my head: nuisance on geordie shore grids on love is blind and stabby on come dine with me#they shoot in the corrie mess hall and serve rations bcs that’s the only thing they get#everyone is so horrified by the quality of said rations it kicks off half the protests at least#this is too long and too insane to truly unleash unto yall but have it anyways#no i have no excuse except i am not sleeping and the voices are telling me to write this#somehow this results in palpatine being lynched by an angry mob of reality tv fans#which both results in the galaxy being saved and fox fucking losing it because somehow that’s worse than before#i didn’t proofread any of this as you can very obviously tell
230 notes
·
View notes
Text
The silly stupid alien show about ghosts that steal your cock and balls just pulled the most gut wrenching, poignant shit possible and portrayed it so artistically and meaningfully what is even life.
This was MASTERFULLY done. The visual and environmental storytelling, the subtle foreshadowing, and inject those motifs into my fucking BLOOD.
Ho. Ly shit. Good fucking lord.
#dandadan#dandadan episode 7#ok so it should come as no surprise that i grew up on paranormal stories about ghosts aliens cryptids urban legends the whole nine yards#acrobatic sara sara is one japanese urban legend i don't see portyayed a lot. it's a bit nore obscure so when i saw they included her#i was IMMEDIATELY hyped.#but this episode#they did something so different#so unique#this is what i love about adaptations of urban legends you can do so much with them put so much meaning into something so underdeveloped#and what they did with that concept. holy shit.#they took a baseline legend about an underrated woman yokai - something that there are plenty of - saw her gimmick#and just shot it out of the motherfucking park.#it made me insane and then it made me cry so hard i gagged im dead serious.#the art in this show has been beautiful so far but never has it meant as much to me as it did here.#i love these characters so fucking much.#i need to read the manga. please dear god someone tell me where i can read the manga for free.#acrobatic silky#dandadan spoilers#dandadan acrobatic silky#dandadan aira#aira shiratori#if you hate aira shiratori genuinely fuck all the way off.
164 notes
·
View notes