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horrorshow · 2 years ago

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hi suzy, happy wincest wednesday :) I know we share a love of protective!Sam -- when do you think that started happening in their lives? Did Sam have to get taller first, lol, or was it some story/life event that precipitated little brother starting to watch out for big brother?

happy ww liz!

i don't think sam's height has anything to do with it actually! i don't think sam thought of himself as stronger or more capable than dean at all. as a kid, sam always looked up at dean, and sam never fully grew out of seeing dean as a hero, so, it's not about that.

easy answer is of course that john trained them from a very young age to never trust anyone but each other. so due to the way they lived and the amount of danger they encountered on a daily basis, sam has always been more protective of dean than other siblings would be. and dean was very protective of him, while sam tried to be just like his big brother, so he wouldn't hesitate to protect dean in turn.

but besides that, i think sam's protectiveness of dean specifically developed hand in hand with his rebellion against john and hunting. and i imagine that started when sam was old enough to stay home alone, while john took dean 'away from him' on hunts.

i can't imagine how horrible it must have been for sam, as a kid, to be all alone in a motel room, waiting for his only family to return, not knowing IF they'd even return, being fully aware of the danger they were in, how often he must have waited impatiently for the promised 'we're okay' phonecall that wasn't on time, or dean and john returning hours or days later than planned, not in one piece, sam running to get the first aid kit, wounds, broken bones, stitches, bruises, all kinds of injuries, dean either too hyper or too quiet or completely out of it, but never truly the dean sam knew. anyone who has ever been worried about a sibling like that, or saw a sibling in serious pain knows that stuff stays with you. it's horrible. and when that person is the only long term relationship you have outside of your dad... there's so much to lose.

i have one very specific mental image of sam coming home from school in the middle of the afternoon, to a bruised and bloodied dean - just back from a long hunt - in dirty clothes asleep on the couch, looking hurt and exhausted and vulnerable, with sam staring at him, at first VERY relieved that he's home safe, but that fast making place for an anger on how UNFAIR and wrong it all is, how NONE of this is normal, combined with sam's constant uncertainty and anxiety and fear, suddenly wishing fiercely for a normal life where he and dean are both safe at school instead of having to deal with any of this, i think sam felt FURIOUS in that moment and that it shocked him how much anger he could feel towards hunting and his dad for doing this to them.

basically, sam tried to win dean back from john. not because sam thought dean was incapable of looking out for himself, but because dean belonged with sam. because sam would love him better. because with john there was always the threat of danger. so... his protective streak started as a bit naive and selfish, but i'm 100% convinced that it came from a place of love bc he was aware of how messed up their lives were, and bc he cared for dean and wanted him to be safe.

(and of course, it was never simply just about that. sam felt lonely and an outsider in his own family and he missed how close he and dean used to be. and a part of him tried to embrace hunting the same way dean did, but finding himself unable to, and a part of him was jealous of dean's special bond with john, making him feel even more cut off. his feelings for dean and his dad were always complicated)

i think sam always hoped, and even expected, that dean would eventually see the light and join his side. that dean would stop seeing him as his kid brother, but would listen to him and agree with his reasoning, and whatever they'd do next, they'd do it together, as equals. and that dean would somehow be grateful for it. so if he convinced john to postpone a hunt or go alone, so he could have dean with him, and dean could rest and do some homework and they could have fun or even if he was just hanging around or they'd argue or if dean stayed out all night, sam knew he'd come back in one piece to him with jokes and stories to tell him and that's what mattered. every win sam could get for dean like that was also a win for himself. in sam's mind they were supposed to be on the same team fighting the same fight, even if he had to do all the work himself to pry dean from john's hands.

but, one problem: sam was a kid, and he only ever looked at it from his own perspective, he didn't understand why dean did what dean did or what dean needed. he naively thought nudging him in the right direction would be enough. sam didn't understand why dean kept choosing john's side, didn't understand why dean didn't stand up for himself more, couldn't rhyme dean's obedience to john with his concept of the heroic big brother who could do ANYTHING he set his mind to. and with every year that passed they only drifted further apart bc of this, until it exploded.

but despite stanford and all that happened since, i love how sam only grew more protective of dean, in newer and even more bizarre ways, and he eventually got dean exactly where he wanted him, safe and happy at his side😌❤️ so it all ends well when it ends well! for a while at least :/

#there are obviously times when sam DID think dean was weak but he was protective of him long before that #this got so long but how to talk about this when its connected to everything else #wincest wednesday #or sunday whatever #zmediaoutlet #reply #im so slow on answering asks but its not you all its me etc etc i DO love them and i AM slowly making my way through them❤️#head too full and its only abstract images in there. you know how it is.

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thedemises · 2 months ago

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——— COLD HANDS。 ★ sunday.

note; I don't think I wrote my boy sunday good enough to the canon..... anyways I took inspiration from the fact that my hands r always cold so why not 😈 (I totally didn't take a week to finish this hahahahah this turned out a lot longer than I expected,,,, over 2k.... 😦)

tagging; @aventurineswife :3

you could've barely noticed it at first, but the tips of your fingers were slowly growing numb as time passes, likely due to the cold humidity in the room. however, you hardly care, letting yourself sink into the serene stillness in the party car of the astral express.

it had always been a normal occurrence for your hands to feel much colder than anyone else's, and it was a bother at times when you would unintentionally graze your own hand against a part of your body — however, you managed to find a small advantage in it; often pressing your icy fingers against your friends' necks as a small, playful prank.

you can remember the priceless expressions on your fellow express members' faces whenever you pull such an act on them without their awareness and the thought of it barely makes you chuckle to yourself on any occasion. heh, the corner of your lips quirk up into a sly smirk without your intentions.

though you wouldn't recommend doing that to the conductor of the train...

pointer fingers lightly tap on each other with hands clasped together, you stay seated with legs crossed as your eyes occasionally scan the room carefully for a potential candidate to interact with. member or guest, you just want to talk to pass the time. (shush isn't really fun to converse with, in your opinion; other than those jokes, he's a gentleman but not quite interesting enough in your eyes. though you're curious about shush's creator; the one who made the mixologist).

the top of your shoe taps against the polished floor, in a steady rhythm made up by your mind — or coming from a song you had in your mind for a while now — while you eventually spot your victim possible conversationist.

a young man standing at the farthest corner of the cart, in a bicolored tailcoat and small wings behind his ears which are of similar tone to his muted blue hair as a golden halo floats behind the head. they flap and twitch from time to time and he is merely unbothered by the silence in the area (besides the sound of glass cups clinking from shush cleaning them and that lady in a purple veil looking over some tarot cards floating in her hands), the halovian simply stares about at the space outside the cabin with a sort of... longing look in his eyes.

...

ah, sunday — former head of the oak family and older brother of the interastral famous idol; robin. honestly; you weren't really involved in the whole penacony catastrophe since you, alongside dan heng, decided to stay behind in the express until you made the decision to go and went along with the archivist (and a certain galaxy ranger who was practically hijacking the parlor car, and with a gun pointed at the reserved train guardian no less) and then assisting the others in taking down that damned giant mechanical monstrosity and that damned giant mechanical monstrosity's sea angel-looking things.

and now with that event taken care of and calming down, it's a bit of a surprise when the guy who tried to basically kill the other astral express members aboards the same train that railed him over a couple times and is now trying to redeem himself from the goal where he tried to turn everyone's dream into a complacent bliss by taking everyone's free will & future in the process.

instead of the one who (though, unintentionally) almost ascended to aeonhood, sunday is reduced to a mere passenger on the express train you too aboard on. what a life turning of events.

and with the idea of spooking him as well settles at the top of your mind.

the mischievous thought solidifies, and your eyes gleam with a subtle spark of excitement. sunday seems like the perfect target — a mix of composed and distant, a far cry from the usual express members who might anticipate your pranks by now; considering how long it has been since you've been a member.

your cold fingers itch with anticipation, the chill now feels like an asset rather than a hindrance — and it feels like the oh-so perfect moment to do so.

you rise from your seat slowly, careful not to make a sound that would alert him to your approach, as your steps are light, muffled by the carpeted floor of the party car. the young halovian seems deeply engrossed in the view beyond the window, the distant in his gaze making you almost reconsider — just for half a second. however, the faint smirk creeping up onto your lips reminds you of your current goal.

and who are you to shy away so quickly from an itching opportunity to fill your satisfaction?

as you inch closer behind with the quietest of steps, his ear wings twitch slightly, making you pause your movements. they’re... quite delicate up close than you realized, the translucent blue edges of each pale feather shimmering faintly and you were almost distracted by them. almost.

why yes, you were curious about his halovian features but now's not the time to ponder, you...

with deft fingers, you gently brush aside a curtain of his muted blue hair, exposing the nape of his neck. it's quite warmer than you expected — soft, almost inviting — and, while at the back of your mind you were a bit baffled how sunday barely even noticed what you were doing, it takes every ounce of self-control not to giggle at the thought of what’s about to happen.

“ah, what’s the point of hesitation now?” you mutter under your breath before plunging your frozen-like fingers onto the bare skin of his neck—

—the reaction you got was instantaneous. sunday’s breath hitches audibly and a low, startled gasp escapes his lips as his entire body jolts from the sudden, icy shock at the nape of his neck; his posture was rigid as if struck by lightning as his ear wings snap open instinctively, flaring out like a startled bird's — the sharp motion sends a soft, fleeting breeze through the air, ruffling your hair slightly.

“by the stars—!” he gasps, eyes wide and glimmering like fractured glass as a hand flies up to cover the assaulted area as if to guard it from another ambush from your shenanigans. his intriguing golden halo hovering behind his head wavers slightly, tilting as though reflecting his momentary loss of composure, and his cheeks flushed a light peachy red from the heat of surprise.

the young man spins around after a small beat of silence with a sharp intake of breath, his expression a mix of shock and confusion, the serene mask he wore moments ago completely shattered.

your hands had already retracted when sunday covered the back of his own neck, and you can't help the laughter that spills out of you; unrestrained and shameless.

“wo—ow!” you manage between bouts of mirth, a hand barely covers your mouth to partially drown out half the noise you were making within the usually quiet cart. “that... that was... absolutely priceless, sunday...!” your voice wavers and slightly cracks at the end of your sentence, still carried by the remnants of your laughter; the amusement from the entire situation clearly written all over your face.

for a moment, he just stares at you, caught between the bewilderment and indignation of your little prank... then, his brows knit together in a way that’s almost endearing, and his lips press into a tight line. “what… was that for?” his careful voice carries the faintest tremor, as though he’s still recovering from the shock of the chill.

eventually, you've recovered from your little laughing fit enough to answer sunday properly this time, as a hand of yours reached up to wipe off a small tear from your eyes. “oh, come on,” you lightly tease, leaning against a nearby chair with a smug grin. “you were just.. idly standing over there, looking all broody and mysterious; I couldn’t resist.”

sunday exhales sharply, visibly trying to collect himself. his wings fold back into place with a soft rustle, and his hand lingers protectively over his neck before letting it hang by his side.

“I was merely... thinking.”

“hm? about what?” asked you while tilting your head.

the halovian hesitates as the faint blush lingering on his cheeks gradually fades, leaving his complexion noticeably paler. “nothing that concerns you.”

“huh, is that so?” you drawl, tapping your chin as if in deep thought. “perhaps I have just found a new mystery to solve — cracking sunday’s enigmatic shell.”

“i— don’t even think about it,” he mutters, though there’s a flicker of something in his tone — a hint of amusement, perhaps? the left wing behind his ear twitches subtly before steadying behind him, but the slight folding of both ear wings toward his face betrays his embarrassment.

amused by his actions, you chuckle to yourself again and fold your arms over your chest. “you’ll have to lighten up eventually, y’know sunny. can’t stay all reserved and quiet forever.”

“don't—” sunday abruptly stops himself, then he sighs in exasperation of your antics. “you’re insufferable. but please refrain from calling me that in the future.”

“and you’re fun to mess with.” you flash him a cheeky smirk, already contemplating your next move. after all, what’s life aboard the astral express without a little bit of mischief?

“also, why not? but, however, if that's what you want...”

as sunday just turns away to the side just a bit, you straighten up your posture, still all smiley and smirking whatnot. you can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment; breaking through the usually quiet halovian's composure felt like a minor victory in itself. the quiet hum of the astral express fills the air again as the moment between you fades into the serene stillness of the party car.

still, something about the faint blush lingering on sunday’s cheeks keeps tugging at your thoughts. veneath the cool exterior and formal demeanor lies a person who, much like everyone else aboard this train, carries their own scars and stories. you might be good at teasing and poking a bit here and there, but you’re not oblivious to the weight he seems to bear — especially with what happened in the recent events.

the mood shifts slightly as you observe him quietly — he has resumed gazing out the window, though his expression is much softer now, his wings no longer bristling but relaxed. the golden halo behind him stabilizes, the light coming from the lights inside the party cart casting a faint glow that makes him look almost ethereal.

“you know,” you say, breaking the silence. sunday still gazes into the galaxy beyond the window but he secretly listens to whatever you're about to say. “I’m not always about pranks — however, if you ever feel like talking about whatever’s on your mind, I can lend you an ear too.”

the young man turns his head toward you, his brows raise up a little in mild surprise. for a moment, he seems to study you, as if trying to gauge your sincerity — finally, he exhales, and a small, almost imperceptible smile touches his lips.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

the response is brief but carries a surprising warmth that wasn’t there before. you nod in response, satisfied, and let the quietness stretch out again. maybe there’s more to sunday than meets the eye, and perhaps, in time, he’ll let you see a little more of what lies beneath his enigmatic exterior in the near future of trailblazing expeditions.

the sliding doors to the party car slide open suddenly, and ever-so bubbly march 7th bounces in as her ever-cheerful energy fills the space of the previous serene atmosphere. “hey! what’s going on in here? did I miss something fun?”

you almost can’t resist glancing at sunday with a small mischievous glint in your eye, the latter in question softly groans and shakes his head to himself.

“oh, really nothing much. I was merely giving our newest passenger a warm welcome.”

the bubblegum-haired girl glances between the two of you, a bit curious what the two of you were doing a bit earlier. “huh.. really though? because it looks like you were up to no good again.”

“awh— wait, me? never,” you tilt your head slightly as your voice takes on an exaggerated tone of mock-innocence. behind you, sunday exhales sharply and his eyes narrow as he pinches the bridge of his nose. march 7th crosses her arms, arching a brow before both of them briefly exchange a shared look — one that speaks volumes about their exasperation.

as the conversation shifts to lighter topics, the laughter and camaraderie in the room slowly build, filling the once-quiet space with warmth and life. even the young halovian seems to ease into the dynamic, his reserved nature softening just a bit as he listens to the banter around him.

in this moment, you realize that life aboard the astral express isn’t just about the journeys or the destinations — it’s about the people you share them with, the stories you create, and the bonds you forge along the way.

and as the stars continue to streak past outside into the milky way, you can’t help but feel that this is exactly where you’re meant to be.

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