#or personally...or for the longest duration of time...

[divinekangaroo]

before the rust began to show - pettiot - Peaky Blinders (TV) [Archive of Our Own]

Ambiguously some time post S6-E6 and before Tommy's reappearance.

Tommy left it under that tree, salted and bent, to rust. And from a pile of bodies, four pairs of glass eyes watched.

(‘One woman and three men,’ Constable Johnson said, ‘murdered by a man with a submachine gun, in daylight and before witnesses.)

.

Moss, Henry Johnson's Brother, Various Police, References to Evadne Barwell and Kin | Police Corruption, Ethnic Slurs, Not a Real Crime Investigation Fic, That One Time Tommy Went to Prison (Not Canon Compliant Backstory), Moral Trauma, Mild War Trauma Reference, Ruby Shelby Representation, Reference to Murder, Dysfunctional Family, Newspaper Caption Puns

.

[madeinnaboo]

Training | Anakin Skywalker

words: 3.8k warnings: smut, fingering, praising, rough(er) sex, unprotected sex, biting, dom!Anakin

requests are open:)

- you're Obi-Wans apprentice and you meet Anakin Skywalker for the first time-

You were walking quietly next to your master. You hated meeting new people, and the person you were just about to meet was one of the closest friends of your own master. There was always this feeling of needing to be perceived as perfect. You knew that feeling was bad and that it was clouding your vision, but fuck. Having such a great and well-known master had so many downsides. Especially the one when people just expected too much from you. 

,,You're lost in your thoughts again`` Your master said with a gentle voice, and you mumbled a quick sorry. He looked down at you, and the both of you continued walking in the large hall. It was the biggest and longest hall you've ever seen. The marble pillars holding the gold-plated ceiling. It seemed like it would take years to walk from the entrance to the end. Thankfully, you saw two figures standing not that far away. Your heart sped up when you realized they were the people master Kenobi talked about. 

,,Obi-Wan`` The tall Jedi wearing full black robes, spoke with a laugh. You and your master walked up to them, and you watched as the two Jedi masters shook hands. 

,,Anakin, this is y/n, my apprentice`` Obi-Wan said, and suddenly you've felt seen. The tall man looked at you with a smile. You had to force yourself to breathe normally. The way he was looking down at you with a smirk on his lips was making you weak.

,,Its an honor to meet you, master Skywalker`` You said after forcing your brain to work normally. His smirk grew wider before he looked back at Obi-Wan.

,,Trained her well``He said and Obi-Wan laughed proudly. Obi-Wan then said something more, but the words just flew past you.

,,Hello?``The short girl standing next to Anakin spoke, and you finally looked at her. She couldn't be older than 16, but by the way she was standing, you could tell she acted much older. 

,,Oh right, Y/n this is Ahsoka, my padawan`` Anakin looked at Ahsoka before looking back at you, kicking the air out of you. 

,,Thank you, master...``she rolled her eyes jokingly before reaching her hand to you ,,...I was afraid he forgot about me`` she joked, and you laughed. 

,,Y/n`` you said as you grabbed her hand and gently shook it. Even though she was so young, you knew the two of you would get along well. And that was a nice feeling. 

Both of your masters then started walking, and you and Ahsoka followed after them in a small distance. She looked up at you, almost like she was scanning you.

,,I like your clothes`` She said, and you smiled. You haven't had anyone compliment you in ages. And a compliment coming from a girl was always so nice. You thanked her and continued talking with her for the duration of your walk. It was a long walk, and you got to know her better. Well, normal stuff about her and some embarrassing stuff about her master. It was strange to see the relationship between them. It was like they were best friends or siblings. You couldn't even imagine joking like that about Obi-Wan. Not because you didn't want to, but because you knew he probably wouldn't find it funny. 

After some time, the four of you reached the part of the building where your rooms were. You said a quick goodbye to Ahsoka and her master, trying to ignore his stare that burned your skin. Was he judging you? But for what?

,,Master Skywalker seems nice`` You said when you and your master walked to your rooms. It was very close to where the other two Jedi were staying, so you were trying to sound as quiet as possible. Obi-Wan chuckled as he gave you the key to your own room.

,,First impressions can be tricky`` He said with a hint of laughter in his voice. You smirked and walked to your own room. After entering the spacious room, you locked the door behind you. Your body ached for hot water. It's been days since you had your own room. You and Obi-Wan were on a classified mission, which meant you had to stay low. You slept in your tiny spaceship, which soon felt like a prison. Now that the mission was over, you were allowed to stay in a nice hotel. Obi-Wan found out that Anakin and Ahsoka have been staying in this hotel for a couple of days now due to their own mission. 

You quickly located the bathroom and then removed your clothes. The plan was to shower, call room service to order some food, and then sleep. You couldn't wait. Everything did go according to plan. The shower was amazing, and the food was even better. However, you were now lying in bed, unable to fall asleep. As soon as you closed your eyes, your mind was filled with stuff. You saw people hurting in war, the Jedi Council, the attractive Jedi master just a couple of rooms away, your family... It was just too much. 

You groaned at the wall clock. It was past 3 am, which meant you had been trying to fall asleep for over two hours now. Defeated, you sat up, searching for your clothes. Instead, you grabbed your small bag and found your more sporty clothes. Black skin-tight pants and a small sporty top you wore whenever you were doing any physical activity. You knew this hotel had a gym, and you hoped you'd be able to go there even at this hour. 

The halls were empty and eerie. It was very dark, but your well-trained eyes found their way to the distant gym. It felt like you were walking for hours, but finally you arrived. You opened the heavy door and walked in. Your heart skipped a beat when you were met with a shirtless Anakin working his upper body. Each muscle on his back fighting for you to notice it. 

,,Also couldn't sleep?`` He said, and your heart skipped another beat. This time, it was because of embarrassment. You hoped he didn't notice how you were staring at him. The door closed behind you, and you almost jumped out of your skin. You really wanted to leave. Run even.

,,I-um... I will leave you alone`` You mumbled, turning on your heels to quickly get out of there. A deep chuckle stopped you. 

,,Oh c`mon, the gym is big enough for both of us`` He said finally turning to face you. His forehead was sweaty, and you had to force your eyes to stay on his face. You gave him a quick smile before walking to the opposite side of the gym. He dried his hands as he watched you grab a long stick.

The reason you came here was to practice your lightsaber moves. You weren't scared of a lot of things, but you were scared of your skills failing you in a battle. So you made sure to work extra hard. 

You took a deep breath and swung the long stick behind your back before bringing it back to your front. The movement was there, but the speed wasn't. 

,,You're very stiff`` Anakin said, shamelessly watching you. Your cheeks grew red in embarrassment. You couldn't think of a worse situation you could possibly be in right now. You looked at him and then back at your hand. He waited patiently for you to try again, and so you did. Not doing anything different, really. 

,,I can tell Obi-Wan is your master`` He said with a laugh as he walked to you ,,Here let me help you`` He didn't wait for you to say anything before grabbing your wrist gently. Your heart was beating fast, and you knew for sure he could hear it. Him standing so close to you while he was shirtless was making you absolutely crazy. 

He helped your wrist move in a more natural way, making you swing faster. He helped you do it a couple of more times before taking a step back and giving you an assuring nod. You took a deep breath, and you swung the stick behind your back before bringing it to your front again, this time much quicker. A huge smile grew on your face as you looked at him. 

,,Wouldn't have done it better myself`` He smiled at you with his perfect teeth, and you felt your knees wobble. You swung your wannabe saber again, expecting him to go back to his workout, but instead he walked in front of you, grabbing a stick of his own before walking further away from you. You watched him as he spun his stick. 

,,Now show me how you fight`` He said with a smirk, and you quickly shook your head, panicking. He laughed at your terrified expression.

,,That's okay, really`` You almost whined.

,,Dont make me attack first`` He said with a cocky voice, and you tried to hush your inner voice that was screaming. There was nothing more you wanted than to disappear right now. 

You took a deep breath and, for a moment, closed your eyes to try to ground yourself. It did absolutely nothing, so instead you spun the stick and, with a swift motion, tried to attack the lower part of his body. That's how you started, basically, every fight. You noticed that people were mostly vulnerable around their legs. But not him. With a single motion, he blocked your attack and, with a huge force, pushed you away from him by his stick. You were taken aback but couldn't think about it too much because his body was suddenly close to you again as he attacked you. You dodged him and basically switched sides with him. With no hesitation, he attacked you again, this time actually hitting you. You tried to attack his upper body now, but were once again pushed away from him. Anger and the need to do better started slowly filling your body. 

,,Dont let the anger control you`` He said calmly as he stopped another one of your attacks. You took a deep breath.

,,You sound just like master Kenobi`` You said which made him laugh. ,,My biggest nightmare has became my reality`` He said, and out of nowhere, your stick was snatched from your hands. Confused, you looked at him, holding it. 

,,C`mon take it``He said with another smirk on his face. You felt like a kid who got candy taken away from them. You pouted your lips.

,,I don't know how``You complained, and he pouted his lips back at you. You tried to quickly grab it, but his reflexes were much faster. 

,,You have a great potential, but you need better training, better master`` He said now more serious, and you stood up a bit straighter. 

,,Master Kenobi is a good-`` You started defending your master.

,,Right`` He cut you off before taking a step close to you, being just a few centimeters away from you. Both sticks landed on the floor next to you, long forgotten. His hand grabbed your chin and made you look up at him. 

Suddenly, you broke the distance between the two of you and pressed your lips against his. You had to stand on your tiptoes, and his hands grabbed you by your arms to steady you. It was like you lost consciousness for a moment because, out of nowhere, it hit you—what you'd just done. You broke the Jedi code...with a Jedi master. This was over. Your mind was racing as you took a step back, breaking the kiss. 

,,I-I am so sorry`` You panicked. You were screaming at yourself for being so stupid. For not being able to control yourself. 

,,Are you now?``He said amused, enjoying the way you acted. He walked back to you, pushing the hair out of your face, while you nervously looked around the room. 

,,Please it won't happen again. I promise`` You said super fast, you were almost unable to understand yourself. He chuckled before rolling his eyes at you.

,,And wouldn't that be a shame, hm?`` His hands cupped your cheeks, and he kissed you again. This time more harsh. It was like you were watching this from a third-person perspective, unable to do anything. Your hands were just resting in the air, and you slowly put them on his bare chest, his muscles tensing up at your touch. You let them travel on his stomach as he made out with you. His hand wrapped around your hair and painfully made you look up at him. You held back a moan. 

,,Won't you look at that. Obi-Wan's apprentice is such a slut``He tugged on your hair again, this time drawing a moan out of your lips. His jaw clenched at that sound. He couldn't wait to hear more from you. So he let go of your hair and instead guided you by your hips to some sort of table that was probably used for exercising. When your ass hit the table, he helped you jump on it. You were now at his eye level, which meant you didn't have to arch your head so much. He forced himself in between your legs. 

,,Breath for me, okay?`` He laughed while nodding his head at you, clearly making fun of you. You rolled your eyes at him, planning on responding to him, but him painfully grabbing you by your throat made you stay quiet. He was no longer smiling. 

,,Dont- dont do that`` He said serious, and you gulped. He looked almost scary now. 

,,Im sorry, sir`` You said quietly, and he slightly nodded, acknowledging your apology. His hands appeared on your thighs and then squeezed both of them. His eyes were studying your face while yours were trying to avoid his. His fingers hooked around your pants and tugged on them. With no resistance, you helped him remove them. At that time, you didn't notice he also removed your underwear, but when you did, your cheeks grew even more red. 

,,Aw, look at you, pretty thing`` He tilted his head as his hands found their way back to your now exposed thighs. His hands were enormous compared to the rest of your body. The size difference was something you couldn't get past. With no warning, his thick finger traveled in between your wet folds to your clit. A moan got caught in your throat, and you bit your lower lip. He gently pushed on it before drawing small circles on it. You rolled your eyes inside your head before reaching for his lips. He moved his head further away from you, making you unable to kiss him. You whined in  disagreement, and he chuckled before reaching to kiss you. His kisses were needy and sloppy. Something you've been craving for ages now. His fingers on your clit were making you a bigger and bigger mess with every passing second. You grabbed his strong arms for support. His finger then entered your needy hole, and you cried into his mouth. He didn't wait for anything and just started fingering you, curling his finger inside of you. Your breathing was becoming even more heavy than before. His finger felt great, but your body soon needed more, and he knew it. With his finger still deep inside of you, his other hand removed his loose pants, springing his hard cock out. His tip was dangerously red. He kissed you harder as he lined himself up with your entrance. With a quick motion, he pushed himself deep inside of you, making you cry out in pain. Your nails painfully dug into his skin, and your eyes were shut close. The pain creeped into every inch of your body, and you were unable to feel his light kisses on your neck. He cursed himself out for not being slower, but he needed you so bad. He needed to hear your pretty moans and feel you around his cock. 

,,I know, baby, I know`` he whispered in between the kisses he was placing on your exposed neck. Occasionally he would suck on the soft skin, but never for too long, making sure he wouldn't leave a mark. When your fingers stopped ripping his skin, he knew the pain was slowly leaving. ,,That's it``He cooed at you, and you forced your eyes open to look at him. He was so attractive with his messy hair. You rolled your eyes again as he slowly moved inside of you. He was thick, stretching you out so nicely. One of his hands was holding your hip, and the other one was stroking your thigh. You let out a soft moan when the pain started to be overtaken by the pleasure. Once he heard that, he started moving faster. He still had to force himself to be gentle. If it were up to him, he would fuck your brain out right there. Your moans were now more frequent as the pleasure fully filled your body. You pushed your upper body down to the table so you could lay down, and he watched your face. His hands then reached to your top and pushed it up, freeing your boobs. He reached to suck on your nipple, making you arch your back. While his teeth were gently biting your nipple, his hands made your legs hug his hips. Like that, he could fuck deeper into you, making you an even bigger mess. He was now fucking into you with dangerous speed, making your body jump on the table. He let your nipples alone and instead watched as your chest moved with each thrust. 

Your hand searched for something on the table you could grab but found nothing. When he noticed it, he grabbed your hand and let you squeeze him as hard as you needed. He was making sure the view he was seeing was engraved into his memory. His other hand found your clit and played with it, bringing even more pleasure now. 

,,I-I Can't`` The pleasure was so overwhelming that you felt like you could pass out any second. Teasingly, he started to fuck you even faster and harder. 

,,Yes, you can`` He said firmly, and you just whined. Your mind was unable to form a single thought, so you fully focused on all the feelings you felt. The slight pain from the way his cock was stretching you out, the aching pain in your arm from how hard you were squeezing him, and lastly, the creeping feeling deep inside your stomach. It was building up fast, and your moans took over. Anakin felt the way you started to squeeze around him more, you were close. 

,,Are you going to be a good girl and cum on my cock?``He asked, and that pushed you over the edge. You painfully arched your back as a loud moan left your lips. The moan turned into a loud whining as your legs started to shake. The feeling was so intense, you thought someone punched the living hell out of you. Your walls painfully squeezed around his cock, making you even more tight. He let out a loud groan. He knew he should pull out. That he should cum on your stomach, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Instead, he watched as his cock disappeared inside of you with each thrust, and then, with an even louder moan, came inside of you. His fingers were digging into your thighs before he slowly pulled out of you, making you whine. He then watched as his cum spilled out of your abused hole. After that, Anakin gave you a slight slap on your pussy, and you cried out before defensively closing your legs. He took a step back and put his pants back on. Shame entered your body as you quickly pulled down your top, searching for your underwear on the floor. He grabbed it and handed it to you. You quietly thanked him and jumped down from the table, almost falling due to your legs feeling like jello. You would definitely fall if he didn't grab you by your arm. Anakin watched as you put on your pants. 

,,Dont shut down on me`` He said as he grabbed your face again, giving you a warm smile. You were looking up at him, trying to figure out what to do next. His lips gently kissed you before he took a step back to take a better look at you. 

,,Please, you can't tell anyone`` You begged. He closed his eyes, disappointed with you. 

,,I won't`` He said with almost no emotion, which brought a painful feeling to your stomach. You felt hurt, even though you were the one who brought it up. He walked to the gym door before opening it, waiting for you. You rushed to it and walked out. He turned the light off and closed the door behind him. You started walking before him, but he still caught up to you.

,,You need anything? Water, food...?`` He asked as he was looking at you. You wanted to scream that you needed his touch again, but instead you said you were okay, and he just took a deep breath. The rest of the walk was quiet and almost awkward. When you reached your room, you quickly opened the door and almost jumped into it, but his hand on your arm stopped you from doing so. 

,,I can stay with you, if you want`` He said with a gentle voice.

,,That's okay, thank you`` You said as you screamed at yourself to just say yes. He tilted his head.

,,Y/n``He almost whispered, and you took a deep breath while opening the room door more. He walked in, and you closed the door behind him. You walked next to him to your bedroom, where you took your sleeping clothes from the floor. He watched as you walked to the bathroom to change. When you came back, already in your sleeping clothes, he was sitting down on your bed in just his underwear. You tried to ignore his body and instead walked to your side of the bed and got into it. He did the same and quickly pulled your body to his, so you were lying on his chest. He played with your hair, making you close your eyes in pleasure. He then kissed the top of your head as his fingers left your hair and instead focused on caressing your arm. 

Anakin was used to not being able to sleep. He only slept for a couple of hours a day, so he was surprised when he felt the sleepiness trying to get him. He happily gave in, and soon his eyes were closed, and his breathing synced with yours.

[ohtobeleah]

Was It Over? // Jake Seresin

-> Chapter Thirteen: [Panic Room]

Summary: Jakes darkest fears come to fruition when surgery doesn’t go as planned and the months to come bring a new reality he never saw coming.

Warnings: MAIN CHARACTER DEATH Sick!reader. Breast cancer diagnosis. Jake Seresin x F!reader. Angst, hospital & medical inaccuracies. SLOW BURN ROMANCE/ Inaccurate medical information. Relationship turmoil. Mentions of religion.

Word Count: 5.5k

Author Note: A big show of appreciation and love to @a-reader-and-a-writer (Vee) for constantly being ready and willing to help me with my writing. You have been the backbone I needed to get this done!

You guys will never know how much this series means to me. And in the same breath, you guys will never know how much your support truly means. Merry Christmas Eve Eve 2024 ya filthy animals.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Researchers say the average length of a dream is two to three minutes long. But many people experience their dreams as hours, days, or even years if they can remember them at all. 

The science of dreaming has been questioned for hundreds of years. Some hypothesise that dreams are our way of processing real events that occur when we’re awake. They also serve as an outlet for repressed hopes and desires. Neuroscientists introduce a new theory every few years. But honestly, no one knows why we dream. 

Or why we have nightmares. We just hope that after the dream, we wake up. 

“We’ve gone over all the risks, weighed up all the possible outcomes, dotted I’s and crossed T’s. Today is the day, Mrs. Seresin.” Doctor Morrison was hopeful in his consultation. The white coat-wearing man reassured you as he placed your chart back where it belonged. “How are you feeling?” 

The question went unanswered for a moment or two. You felt like you were in a state of shock. Unable to truly express how you felt just hours before going into what could be life-changing surgery. You were giving everyone in the room a thousand-yard stare. Mentally and physically, you had checked out. Like you’d been stuck in a nightmare that wouldn’t stop torturing you. 

“We had some bad news last night. A close friend passed away unexpectedly,” Jake answered on your behalf. “Is there any way–” 

“We need to do this now, Mr. Seresin, or we won’t be able to revisit this for a few months,” Dr. Morrison explained with an emphasis on the matter of now or never. “I understand personal circumstances may have changed. However, knowing everything you know about risk and recovery and survival rates after double mastectomies, I recommend we stick to the organised care plan.” 

“Can we have a moment alone?” Jake asked cautiously as his hand came to rest gently on your shoulder. You hadn’t moved from what could only be described as a catatonic-like state for the entire duration of the conversation. 

“Of course,” Dr. Morrison nodded. “I’ll come back after I’ve checked in on a few patients.” 

It didn’t take long at all for the oncology crew to exit the room. But the second they did, you felt like you could breathe again. 

“I can’t go through with this surgery Jake,” you begged. Fear of the unknown had taken over your entire being. “I can’t do this,” 

“You are the strongest person I know, honey, the kids and I really need you to do this.” Jake tried his best to comfort you as well as remind you why this surgery was so important. “We need you, yeah? We need you to stick around and this fucking cancer, this disease, is trying to cut that time short.” 

“But Jensen–” 

At the height of the Great Depression, Harvard scientists started tracking students in hopes of discovering the key to a long and happy life. They looked at participants’ mental and physical health over seventy-five years. It’s the longest study of happiness to date. Seventy-five years and all they did was confirm what we’ve known since the beginning of time. 

The most powerful predictor of health and happiness is the quality of our relationships. 

Strong relationships protect us. Loneliness on the other hand…can be deadly. 

“Would want you to keep fighting and have this surgery.” Jake could have said he thought Jensen was a coward. He could have said how angry he was at that fucker for leaving you alone in this world with no one to confide in who knew the struggle, who knew the feeling of being told you’re sick and need to get sicker in order to get better. 

Jake could have told you how he wished Jensen had survived so he could kill him himself. Jake could have responded with the fact Jensen was terminal and there was nothing on this earth that could have saved him from his illness. 

Jake could have told you that Jensen thought you hung the stars and the moon in the night sky every night just for him…but then Jake would also have to admit to himself and you that maybe, just maybe, you should have moved on. 

“What would he say right now if he was here?” Jake settled on that question just to keep himself sane. He didn’t want to open yet another can of worms right before your surgery. This was all one big giant nightmare already, he didn’t want to make it worse. If anything, Jake kept pinching himself in secret just hoping that maybe he’d wake up on the couch and this cancer saga would all be some sadistic subconscious dream of his. 

He’d always been deathly afraid of not being good enough for you. 

“He’d tell me to do it,” you sighed as you let your head rest against the upright bed. “He’d tell me to be strategic about the battle, the war is the endgame.” 

“Exactly, one battle at a time, step by step,” Jake agreed with a cheeky smile. That signature Seresin smile you so effortlessly loved. “You’re not gonna hand in the white flag before the battles even really begins, are you?” 

“Kinda want to if I’m being completely honest with you,” you responded knowing Jake would appreciate the honesty. “But I guess you and the kids really need me to stick around, huh?” 

“Oh, I can’t even begin to explain how much we need you to stick around, honeybee.” it was as honest and as sincere as Jake could be. He wore his heart on his sleeve for you. He exposed every nerve he had just so you could dance your feather-like fingers across the tender strings that made Jake, Jake. 

“I’m so scared of being alone in the operating room,” you admitted as Jake leaned in to leave a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I’m so scared they won’t see me as a person,” It was an explanation that broke Jake’s heart even though he believed his heart couldn’t be broken any more. “That they won’t remember I’m me, that I have a life and a family and people who will miss me.” 

Over the course of our lives, our relationships ebb and flow. We get together, break up, move away, or fall out of touch. It’s prolonged periods of loneliness and toxicity that wreak havoc on our health, our brain function, and our longevity. 

“You’re never alone,” Jake replied softly as tears threatened to spill over his waterline. “I’m always with you, the kids are always with you, Jensen, your mum, everyone will be with you during that surgery, we’re gonna be waiting on the other side.” 

“I love you so much, Jake Seresin,” you smiled brightly through a tight-lipped smile Jake wished he could save in his mind’s eye forever. “Let’s win this battle.” 

“And the war too,” Jake replied as he reached for your hand, gave it a soft squeeze, and brought your palm to his lips. “Let’s fucking do this, Y/n.” 

*************************************

Jake sat waiting by the vending machine as he picked at the small single service-sized packet of original Lays he’d nearly had to beg the machine to drop. His watch told him it was almost nearing the end of your surgery. He wasn't stressed, not when your surgeon had been so hopeful and calming. Jake had spent far too much of his time recently worrying about the what-ifs. He wanted to focus on the now. And that now was the fact you would have been nearing the end of your surgery. Which meant soon enough he’d get to see you again. 

The only thing that kept Jake on his toes was the ever-looming doubt that perhaps the treatment plan wouldn't be enough. He hoped that you had enough fight in you to make it through the journey. He needed you to have enough strength to fight. 

“She should be coming out of surgery soon–” Jake explained as he held his phone up to his ear and tried not to chew so loud. “The kids know that Rooster is picking them up to bring them home to Grandma Maz’s house?” 

“Yeah, Mum’s not too happy about it but she won't keal over about it,” Jasmine replied as she watched her brother's kids play with hers in the backyard she and Jake used to make mud pies in. “Rooster messaged about an hour ago saying he was close, he shouldn't be too far away now.” Jas continued in her own little world. Jake was used to not being able to get a word in with his youngest sister. “I can't believe Y/n has fucking cancer–does her side of the family have a history or…?” 

“Not that we know of, it's just really bad luck, Jas,” Jake sighed as he let his head fall back against the wall his chair was pressed up against. “But hopefully with this surgery and the chemo, she’ll be able to beat it.” 

“Well, you tell her that I’m pissed she gets a boob job before I do,” Jasmine tried her best to keep the situation as light-hearted as possible. “Make sure she gets a good rack, not too small or too big, like a good handful that's just right.” 

“I'll be sure to let her know,” Jake smiled, he really could count on his sister for that. “Oh, I gotta go, I see Y/n’s surgeon.” Jake sat up in anticipation as anxiety flooded his nervous system. “Tell the kids we love them for me.” 

“Have been every day,” Jasmine replied quickly knowing her brother probably had his phone down from his ear by now. “Bye.” 

Jake was quick to pocket his phone and wipe the crumbs from his shirt as he stood to greet your surgeon. However, something seemed off about the man who had seemed so confident before your surgery. 

“Mr. Seresin–” 

“How is she?” Jake asked. He didn't mean to interrupt, but he needed to know first and foremost before any medical mumbo jumbo. “My wife, how’d the surgery go?” 

There was a very telling pause that accompanied the sober look that Doctor Morrison wore, but Jake tried not to read into it all that much. He knew you would be fine. 

Right? 

“Mr Seresin, your wife's heart was weakened by the stress of her recent stroke,” Doctor Morrison began to explain as Jake stood there expecting good news. “She, unfortunately, went into a cardiac arrest–” the air around Jake disappeared. Almost instantly, he felt as if he were floating in space. “We tried to revive her for the better half of twenty minutes while she was on the table,” There was a pause. A telling moment where reality and fantasy were trying to battle it out. Who’s version of events would win? When Doctor Morrison saw Jake’s mind short-circling with an inability to process the magnitude of information, he felt as if he needed to continue explaining the severity of the situation. 

“It was catastrophic, and I'm afraid we've lost her.” Doctor Morrison had told far too many loved ones over the years that they had lost family members, but never in all his years had he ever seen such immediate denial written in the lines on someone's face. “Mr. Seresin, your wife has died.” The words Doctor Morrison was saying were not sinking in as Jake stood there completely blind to the reality happening around him. “I’m so sorry for your loss–” 

“Uh–” Jake frowned as the confusion kicked in. “I'm sorry, you must have mistaken me for someone else. My wife was fine before she went in for surgery, she was fine.” 

“Yes, yes, your wife was fine, yes–” Doctor Morrison tried to keep his composure, but even after all these years the losses still hurt. It made him feel human to experience the emotions alongside the family members, but in the first few seconds of watching Jake Seresin spiral into a hole of denial that you were, in fact, gone, Doctor Morrison, knew this particular loss would haunt him for the rest of his career. 

Speaking slowly, Doctor Morisson tried once more to explain what had happened in a way that Jake would understand. “The stress of the surgery along with her recent stroke…her body just couldn't handle the stress. Her heart experienced a cardiac episode and we unfortunately couldn’t revive her.” 

The immediate silence between the two men was all-consuming as it was telling. Jake’s heart was breaking in two. 

“Is there someone I can call for you?” Doctor Morrison tried to be as empathetic as he could be, this part of the job was never easy. The part where he was tasked with telling loved ones that the people they loved had passed on his table. They were few and far between, but the people he did lose would forever haunt him. He could name every single one and their family’s name too. Jake Seresin would be a name Doctor Morrison would remember for the rest of his life and into the next. 

“Are you out of your mind?” Jake pushed back almost immediately as he tried to wrap his head around what he was being told. This didn’t make any sense, you were just here. You were fine. 

“No, Mr. Seresin I–” Doctor Morrison tried to explain again, but it was to no avail.

“I–Okay, I think you must be mistaken,” Jake wiped his hand on his jeans as he stepped back. “I just need to ge–”

“Mr. Seresin, please.” Doctor Morrison tried to stop Jake from leaving the waiting area, but Jake just stepped further back with a frown of disgust and grief. He was still holding his packet of Lays. 

“No, no can you just, can you back up?” Jake nearly growled. “Can you leave me alone?” Jake looked around as he tried to remember how to breathe. People were staring at him like he was in a zoo. A caged and cornered animal begging to be left alone. “Can somebody get this person to just give me some space please?” It was as heartbreaking as it was cruel to watch Jake walk down the hall towards where he knew your hospital room was. 

“Y/n?” He called out hoping you'd be back by now. “You won’t believe this guy, honey. He just–” The moment Jake rounded the corner and saw your hospital room empty with no sign of you, he stood still. All the air had been sucked right from his lungs as his eyes scanned the room. Your Christmas lights weren’t flashing, your bed wasn't made, and your laptop sat open with a black screen, but just where you’d left it. You weren't back. 

“Y/n?” Jake whispered under his breath as his eyes continued to scan the empty hospital room just waiting for you to appear from out of the bathroom or sneak up behind him. But Jake knew you weren't about to appear even though he wished for nothing more. 

“Oh–” One step, two steps, three steps, four. Jake didn't know where he was but he was on the move. He couldn't stay here looking at an empty room. He had to find where you were. “Oh god, no, no no no no no, please no don’t take her away from me.” 

“Jake!” The woman's voice Jake had come to know over the last few days broke through the fog that was clouding Jake's mind. He continued to stumble blindly down the ward. “I just heard,” Lydia explained as she rushed up to the man who she had come to know as your husband. “I'm so sorry, I wasn't expecting this to happen. I thought–” Lydia quickly reacted when Jake's knees buckled underneath him. 

“Woah! I need a little help over here!” Doctor Morrison was quick on the draw as he made his way over to where Jake now kneeled on the floor unable to breathe. 

“My wife–” Jake tried to talk as he hyperventilated. “Y/n!” he cried out for all to hear. “Y/N!” 

“She's gone.” Doctor Morrison had to make sure the fact was sinking in. 

“Oh Jake, I’m so sorry–” Lydia tried to console the six-foot-something man who had crumbled to his knees. “Your wife was an amazing woman.” 

Jake still couldn't believe it, he didn't believe it, and he wouldn't. The pain he felt inside his chest, the burning hot sensation was excruciating. He’d never felt such a feeling of grief mixed with denial and so much love. You couldn’t be gone. He was having a nightmare, wasn’t he? This wasn't real. He was dreaming. This was all one big dream. It had to be. It had to be a nightmare his subconscious had concocted. A nightmare where Jake lost it all. His biggest fears were realised. 

“I need my wife, I need Y/n,” Jake sobbed as Lydia kneeled on the ground in front of him just assessing his current state of shock. “I can't, she can't–no no no she's fine, please tell me she's fine.” 

“I'm so sorry, Jake,” Lydia confirmed what Jake wished so desperately wasn’t true. “She’s gone,” Lydia’s voice became distorted as she held the broken man in her arms. “You need to wake up before it's too late.” 

************************

Bradley Bradshaw was accustomed to losing the people he loved the most in this world. He’d lost his father, his mother, and his grandparents. For a while there he’d lost the only man who had ever slightly filled the shoes his dad left behind. But the loss of someone who was still there was something he’d never had to handle before. 

“Nat, he hasn’t gotten out of bed in days,” Bradley groaned as he cleaned up the kitchen. “The kids already lost their mother,” Bradley tried his best to keep his voice down, but the way little Lennox clocked Bradley from where he was sitting at the dining table made him realise he wasn’t one to talk on the quiet side. “They don’t need to lose their dad too.”

Jake stood just outside of Bradley’s eyeline, but he could hear everything the giant overgrown bird was saying. He couldn’t hear what Phoenix was saying but there was enough back and forth on Bradley’s behalf to easily fill in the gaps. 

“No. No, he hasn’t been down since the funeral.” Jake forgot how to exhale at the mere mention of your funeral as he hid in the hall. He couldn’t remember ever getting ready or speaking at your wake. He couldn’t remember who drove them or if the kids cried. He couldn’t remember hugging your mother or shaking your brother’s hand. Jake couldn’t remember any details about the flowers he’d organised or the people who were there. 

The anti-depressants weren’t helping. Nothing was. Nothing would. 

Until today, Jake couldn’t bring himself to get out of bed. Without you, there was no point. He was begrudgingly okay with living a life in a world where you were still in it. But living in a world where you were no longer present wasn’t something Jake was willing to do. The kids would be fine with their grandparents. They’d be fine with Uncle Rooster. Lennox and Lucy and little Sammy didn’t need him. How was he supposed to look into their eyes and know he could never see the twinkle in yours ever again? 

“I’m really worried about him, Nat,” Rooster sighed as he held his phone up to his ear with his shoulder. He was working on making little Samy some banana pancakes. “As much as I want to, I can’t stay here forever, but he needs someone.” 

“No one is asking you to babysit me, Bradshaw,” Jake replied to the statement Bradley wasn’t expecting an answer to. “You can leave, trust me, I can drop the kids off with my mum.” 

Bradley stood stunned into silence as he watched Jake round the corner and into vision. He reluctantly reached for his phone and hung up as Phoenix questioned what was going on. 

“Hey man,” Rooster finally broke the silence as he watched Jake walk closer and closer to where Sammy sat in his high chair. “How you feeling today?” 

“Well, my wife’s still dead, so that’s something,” Jake replied with a sigh as he picked up Sammy and placed him on his lap. Lennox could see the look of pure admiration in his younger brother’s eyes as Jake hugged the smallest of the Seresin kids. “Seriously, you’ve done enough for us, I got it from here.” It was the biggest lie Jake had ever tried to tell not only himself but his best friend. 

“Uh,” Bradley wasn’t convinced. “Are you sure? I mean–I wanna stay as long as you need man,” Bradley tried to plead his case as Jake went about his business with Sammy. The business being nothing. Jake stood somewhat dazed and lost in the middle of the clean-ish kitchen. A kitchen he knew where nothing was. It wasn’t his. It was yours. 

“I think the kids should come back to North Island with me,” Jake opted to ignore what Bradley was saying. Instead, he decided to continue with a vague plan for what the future holds. A future he didn’t want to have with you. A future he didn’t care about. 

“You want the kids to uproot everything they know?” Rooster frowned as he looked over to where Lenny sat watching on. The kids were down, to say the least. Bradley could recognise himself in the permanent pout that had taken shape across Lennox’s face. The puffy eyes and saddened expression really tied the whole look of mourning together. They were just kids, they didn’t deserve any of this. “I don’t think you should be thinking about coming back to work anything soon either.” 

“I don’t need you micromanaging me,” Jake hissed as he held onto his youngest son, all the while his eldest watched on with concern for his dad. “I need you to go home, Rooster, we’ve got it from here.” 

“You don’t got anything, Seresin. Are you kidding me right now?” Bradley didn’t mean to come across as so defensive. But he’d seen Jake in this grief-fueled spiral long enough to know that his destructive and depressive mindset would end up causing more distress for the kids than intended. Jake was a good dad, that had never been questioned. Until now… Bradley wasn’t sure if his best friend could handle parenting three small children without a village to back him up. “The kids haven’t seen you in days–” 

“Would you rather them see me at my worst or not see me at all?” Jake’s grief was eating away at him. So much so that Jake began to wish each time he closed his eyes he’d get to stay with the version of you his mind had envisioned. “I’m fine, I’ve got it from here,” Jake sighed as he hugged little Sammy with all the strength that he had. “I wasn’t, but I’m fine now and I just wanna spend time with the kids.” 

“I don’t believe a word you’re saying right now man,” Bradley replied as he caught sight of Lucy coming down the hall. She’d been sleeping much like her father was. Great, all three Seresin children were present for their father’s impending breakdown. 

“Get the fuck out of my house, Bradshaw.” This hadn’t been the first confrontation Jake and Bradley had gotten into while Bradley had been staying in Rhode Island as the Seresin kid’s personal live-in nanny. And it certainly wouldn’t be the last. It was becoming an almost everyday occurrence. The only difference this time was the kids were here to witness it. “I don’t need you here–”

“You aren’t thinking straight, just–how about the kids and I go for a walk or something and you sort yourself out? Have a shower? Shave? Drink something other than alcohol for–” Before Rooster could finish his sentence, Jake was placing Sam on the kitchen floor with a haste that didn’t sit right with Rooster. Lennox was the first to move from his chair. He was the spitting image of his father. 

“I don’t fucking care, Rooster!” Jake shouted at the top of his lungs. So loud and with such rage that the veins in his neck were popping as his skin turned a nice shade of ruby red. He took fast strides across the kitchen until Jake was standing toe to toe with his best friend. The very friend who’d been taking care of his children since before your passing. “I have to live the rest of my fucking live without the woman I love, so, cut me some godman slack before I knock your smug ass head from your shoulders.” 

Bradley didn’t move. He didn’t retaliate. He watched over Jake’s shoulder how his three children all cowered on the kitchen floor, scared of how their father yelled. Jake was oblivious to his surroundings. He couldn’t see the kids were struggling too. 

“Jake?” Bradley sighed as he placed his hands on either side of Jake’s face. “When the fuck are you gonna get through all this?” Braley asked softly as he remained calm. “When are you gonna wake up?” 

“Wake up?” Jake repeated as he pulled his face from his best friend's grip. “Wake up? Bradshaw, I died with my wife! There is no waking up from any of this!” 

“Maybe–” Bradley shrugged as he walked over to where the kids had been huddled together. It was only as Jake followed Bradley’s trajectory that he realised how much he’d scared his children. Something he never wanted to do. “There's always hope though.” 

“Kids,” Jake sighed as his tears began to fall. He dropped to his knees right then and there in the kitchen he wasn't familiar with. In a house that was now cold and dark without your constant radiating light to keep it warm and bright. “Guys, I'm sorry, huh–Dad didn't mean to raise his voice, he’s just–” Before Jake could finish his sentence, little Lennox was finishing his father’s sentence for him. 

“You’re just sick, dad.” 

“What?” Jake frowned as the kids made their way over to where Jake was kneeling on the tiles. 

“I said you’re just sad, Dad,” Lennox replied once more as he gave his dad a hug. “We’ll take care of you.” 

************************

December 31st 

Jake Seresin tried his best to hide the wet tears that fell down his cheeks as he sat with his kids on the lounge of the home that he had tried his best to keep as tidy as he could. There was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of frustration, a lot of fear and unbelievable sadness that surrounded Jake and your three small children. The unknown was truly tragic, terrifying and treacherous, but Jake wasn’t about to let his kids see the way he so desperately wanted to cry. 

Things had changed since Jake fell mind, body and soul into an unimaginably deep hole of depression. So much so that days had become to feel like one long dream. A paradox of grief and manic love. Your mother had told Jake to feel every ounce of emotion he had locked away. Maz had told him that grief was just someone’s residual love with nowhere else to go. 

Once Jake was able to understand that the pain of losing you was his love for you, he understood why it hurt so deeply on a cellular level. He understood why it hurt to look at the children he’d created with you. He understood why the kids had wanted to sit and open the small, still-wrapped Christmas present Lenny had found in Jake’s bag when he was looking for his dad’s wallet. 

Because it was one of the last things you ever gifted someone. It was one of your last acts on earth. 

“What did Mum get you for Christmas, Daddy?” Jake held the small present in the palm of his hand, the present he had yet to open. The present he wasn’t sure he wanted to. It felt like something he’d held before, the weight felt all too familiar. It haunted him the more he carried it around, held it in the palm of his hand and contemplated the inevitable. 

“I dunno buddy, you reckon I should open it?” Jake asked as he kissed his son's head. “S’not Christmas anymore.” The Naval Aviator had recently shaved his head, it had been the closest to a number one he’d ever had. It was in solidarity, union. A decision he made in the blink of an eye but one he did not regent or ever would. 

“We haven’t taken the tree down yet,” Lucy added her two cents into the conversation as she laid her head on her father’s thigh. “Mum would be upset if you didn’t open it, Dad.” Jake knew that much was true, you probably would be pretty bent out of shape if he never opened it. 

“Alright, I’d better open it then huh?” Jake shook the small perfectly wrapped box he could hold in the palm of his hand. He heard what sounded like a rock rattle inside. His heart nearly exploded inside his chest. 

Fuck….Jake knew what it was and he really didn’t want to open it. 

“Hey, Dad?” Lucy’s voice sounded completely different to anything Jake had ever heard before. She was looking right at him yet her eyes were trained on something one hundred miles away. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” Jake replied just as he was about to open the present you’d given him before his life was turned upside down. 

“You need to wake up now,” Lucy’s voice sounded familiar, but it wasn’t her own. “You’ve had enough time here,” 

“What are you talking about Lu?” Jake frowned as he looked at his daughter. An extension of himself and you. “Lucy? Are you feeling okay?” 

“You’ll be a good dad soon,” Lucy smiled as she unwrapped the small ring box in Jake’s hand. The ring box that held what Jake assumed to be your engagement ring. But as little Lucy opened the wrapping, a blinding light burst through the cracks. A light so bright it forced Jake to squint. 

“Please wake up, honey,” Jake heard your voice clear as day as Lucy opened the ring box to send a piercing white light into the living room. Jake was completely captured by the light around him. So much so the entire room was drowned in a light so pure it was crystal clear. He couldn’t see a single thing beyond the all-encompassing white. 

“Please wake up for us,” again your voice was the only thing Jake could hear in the void he found himself in. 

“Y/n?” Jake called out into the void around him. He could feel his ribcage breaking like he couldn't breathe. Every breath he took was agony. “Hello?” Yet he could hear your voice. A voice he longed for. A voice he had to get back to. Jake had to get to you. 

“I’m here, you’re alright,” Jake once again heard your angelic siren song. His head began to throb. The feeling was agonising. Like there was no more room for swelling. 

“Where are you?” Jake called out as he stumbled in the light. The smell of burning flesh mixed with jet fuel overcame Jake’s senses. His need to get to you was more powerful than the deep bone ache he could feel in his legs. There was nothing on earth or beyond that would stop Jake from getting to wherever the hell you were calling him from. His entire body ached with a pain so unimaginable it sent him to his knees. Crawling, Jake cried out for you just one more time. 

“Y/n!?” Jake called out once more in a desperate attempt to find you in the void. “Kids?” 

“Here he comes,” Bradley’s voice echoed out as Jake looked up towards where he assumed the sky would be. The glare was too much. Jake placed his forearms over his forehead to soften the brightness. “Come on Hangman, don't leave us out to dry.” 

Some people spend their whole lives trying to make a dream come true. They set a goal and make a plan on how to achieve it. It works for some people. But for others, it’s not so easy. As hard as they work toward the dream, it can feel like the whole world has plotted against them. 

As someone gets further and further away from the dream, people begin to cling to any sign of hope. And the longer it takes and the more it costs…you start to consider whether you should give up. Do you find a new dream? Or do you stick to the one that started you on this journey in the first place? 

For Jake, things weren’t as black and white. 

As Jake closed his eyes and took one painful last breath in, he felt as if he’d fallen from cloud nine. When he opened his eyes, the light was still there….But he wasn’t.

Jake’s eyelids fluttered, the faintest hint of light creeping through the haze of his mind. He tried to move, but his body felt foreign as if it wasn’t entirely his own. The weight of unconsciousness clung to him, reluctant to release its hold. Slowly, he became aware of the sounds around him—

“Jake, It’s me, can you hear me?”

**********************

Tags: @blindedbythelightt @starset21 @tayl0rhuynh @marvelogic @itsmytimetoodream

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[axeeglitter]

Back from the Vault: LifeX

Nathan Brown sat hunched over his desk, the glow of his laptop screen illuminating his tired eyes. His San Francisco apartment was a mess: clothes strewn across the floor, empty takeout containers stacked on the kitchen counter, and a half-empty coffee mug perched precariously on the edge of his desk. Nathan's bed was unmade, a tangled heap of blankets and pillows. The room smelled faintly of stale air and sweat, the result of a broken air conditioning unit and a lack of motivation to clean.

Nathan was staring at his laptop screen, scrolling through yet another round of job listings. His bank account was dangerously low, and the anxiety of unpaid bills was gnawing at him. He was 26 years old, recently graduated with a degree in communications, and he was struggling to find any kind of work. His YouTube channel, where he reviewed video games and shared walkthroughs, was his only source of income, but the revenue it brought in was barely enough to buy groceries, let alone pay rent or bills.

Nathan was average in build, with a light tan from his Latino heritage, and short, dark hair that he usually kept neat. His face was lightly stubbled, a sign of his growing indifference to grooming as stress took over. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, feeling the weight of exhaustion settle into his bones. He was on the brink of giving up when a notification popped up on his screen, breaking his focus.

"Subject: Exciting Opportunity for Collaboration!"

Nathan hesitated, then clicked on the email. It was from a company called LifeX. He didn’t recognize the name, but curiosity got the better of him.

“Dear Nathan,

We’ve come across your YouTube channel and believe we could work well together. LifeX is launching a groundbreaking new game, and we are looking for individuals to help us with beta testing and promotion. Your content aligns perfectly with our vision, and we think this could be a great collaboration. If you accept, you’ll also be able to help us optimize the AI of our games by creating your own NPC character, it’ll be later implemented in the game when it’ll be released. Of course, we offer financial compensation for your work.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Best regards, The LifeX Team”

Nathan’s first instinct was skepticism. It sounded too good to be true, and he’d heard horror stories of scams and phishing attempts. But the desperation for money overrode his better judgment. He quickly searched for LifeX online, finding only a sparse website filled with vague marketing speak about “immersive experiences” and “cutting-edge technology.” There were no reviews, no user testimonials, nothing solid. This should have been a red flag, but Nathan was too desperate to care. He needed this. He needed a break.

Nathan decided to respond. He typed out a quick reply expressing his interest. Almost immediately, another email arrived, containing a download link, setup instructions, and a NDA requesting his personal information: name, age, location, and other details. Nathan filled out the form, barely thinking about the potential consequences. He selected the longest trial period possible: one month, hoping it would give him enough content for his channel and enough time to determine if the collaboration was worthwhile.

As soon as he submitted the form, a melodic chime sounded from his laptop, followed by a smooth, professional voice:

“Thank you for signing up, Nathan. To begin your experience, you will first create the NPC character, and then you’ll be ready to start your experience in the environment you’ll choose. For the trial to run successfully, please ensure that your computer remains on for the entire duration of the test period: one month. Any interruption may result in data loss or corruption. Welcome to LifeX.”

Nathan frowned at the last part but shrugged it off. He figured it was just standard legalese, probably meant for immersion. The screen changed to a character creation window, displaying a basic human figure in a T-pose. Nathan leaned forward, curiosity piqued, and started customizing the avatar.

He named the avatar “Cody,” envisioning him as the polar opposite of himself. Cody would be everything Nathan wasn’t: confident, athletic, and effortlessly cool. He adjusted the height to 6'4", pushed the muscle sliders to the maximum, giving Cody bulging biceps, a broad chest, and thick, powerful legs holding a perfectly muscled ass. From the corner of his eyes, Nathan spotted a slider on the groin area. He laughed as he understood he could also determine how big he could adjust Cody’s penis and balls. Smiling, he selected the largest option possible for his dick and added a huge heavy pair of balls to go with it, watching it grow in proportion to the rest of his body. He added bright hazel eyes, bushy eyebrows, and messy dark brown hairs that would contrast perfectly to the pale sun kissed skin.

After the body customization, Nathan saw a new window open: Clothes and accessories. After thinking about it, he chose a pair of denim shorts that ended mid-thigh, showing off Cody’s muscular legs. Nathan opted for no T-shirt, exposing Cody’s ripped torso and added a ripped sleeve shirt opened on his muscled hair pecs. He then moved on to accessories and decided to put a loop earring on his right ear and a silver chain around his neck.

After the customization was done, it was asked for Nathan to enter some information about the NPC he just created to create a base behavior for him. After a while, Nathan decided to go for the stereotypical fratbro behavior to go with the appearance he just did. He started typing, adding details about Cody’s lifestyle. He entered notes in the behavior interface: “Cody is dumb as a brick. He loves gym, training and being barefoot, feeling the ground under his calloused feet.” He laughed as he added another line: “Cody never takes showers, loves the smell of his own musk, enjoys sniffing his hairy armpits after a workout and scratching his big dick every couple of minutes after what he smells them and always smile enjoying his own musk.” Nathan chuckled, amused at the thought of creating such a ridiculous character. It was so far removed from his real life that it seemed like a fun NPC to talk and interact with. Just a dumb easy-going character that is always down for a fuck and a drink after a gym session barefoot in the woods.

Satisfied with his creation, he confirmed the settings. The game prompted him to select a location, and he chose the Secluded Forest Realm, envisioning Cody as a carefree physical trainer just out of college living in a cabin in the wilderness.

The screen went black for a moment, and the professional voice returned: “Now that your character is complete, it’s time to play! Please keep your computer running at all times to maintain synchronization. Any interruption may lead to data corruption. Enjoy your month-long experience, Nathan, and welcome to LifeX.” Nathan was really getting excited now. He conder what kind of character he would create for himself when he saw a flash of light on the screen. It looked like some kind of swirling mesh, almost like a blackhole. For a moment Nathan thought it was kind of a cool effect, but everything changed when he went to grab his half drink cup of coffee sitting next to him only to realize his right hand was tingling and tiny particles were escaping his nails, flying straight to his screen.

A sudden wave of fatigue hit Nathan, and the lights in his apartment flickered briefly. A sense of unease washed over him, making the hairs on his arms stand up. Before he could react, the tingling sensation spread from his fingertips up through his arms. He stared in disbelief as his fingers began to dissolve into streams of glowing white code, spreading quickly across his body. He tried to scream, but his voice caught in his throat. His vision blurred as the Life X logo was pulsing in bright light in the center of the screen with a loading bar under it going up further and further. The last thing he saw was the 100% before everything went black.

Nathan found himself suspended in a void. He was floating, naked, surrounded by darkness. Panic set in, his heart racing as he tried to move, but his body was frozen in a T-pose. The sensation was bizarre, as if he were trapped in a dream. He wanted to call out, but his voice was muffled, like shouting underwater. The smooth, professional voice returned, echoing through the void:

“Welcome to your new life, Nathan. Don’t panic; this process is normal and painless. In a few moments, you will begin your ideal life in the Secluded Forest Realm. Relax and feel calm. Avatar synchronization will begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

“What the fuck, where am I? What is going on? Why can’t I move?! HELP!!” thought Nathan as he tried to scream even though his face remained frozen.

Nathan’s body suddenly stiffened. A pressure built inside him, starting at his core and spreading outward. His bones stretched and cracked, lengthening to match Cody’s new height. His arms and legs grew longer, muscles bulging and expanding to fill out his new form. Nathan could feel his muscles tearing and healing at an accelerated rate, becoming stronger and more defined with each passing second.

His skin began to tighten, smoothing out imperfections and leaving with a perfectly smooth skin all around his muscled body. Nathan would be screaming if his voice mas not muted. Everything was burning and it was like feeling his DNA being rewritten while still being conscious. As he felt tears rising up his eyes, a new sensation invaded his newly modified skin. In his pits, legs and between his pecs, he felt like thousands of needles were piercing holes. The sensation was only multiplied as he started to feel hair sprouting from the holes. They were dark brown and thick but worst, the sensation of piercing needles started to appear around his groin too. Still wondering what was happening to him, Nathan tried to connect the elements he could find and that when he realized. The secluded forest, the muscles, the hair; that was Cody’s information, which means… Just enough time to understand what was happening to him when the hair started to sprout in abondance around his dick and nuts and climbing up his sculpted abs in a thin happy trail. After the hair, the modifications started to appear on his face. His jawline becoming sharper and more angular, his cheekbones more pronounced. His lips filled out, becoming more defined, while his eyebrows grew thicker, framing his eyes. His vision sharpened, colors becoming brighter and more vivid. His brown eyes shifted to a bright hazel as he lost vision for a moment. Everything was happening all at once and still, Nathan felt like it was an eternity of pain.

Nathan’s hair thickened, turning into soft, dark strands that fell casually over his forehead. His ears reshaped slightly to match his new head structure. A sensation of warmth spread through his throat as his vocal cords tightened, his voice box reshaping. When he tried to speak, his voice was deeper, richer, and carried a slight accent, a relaxed, Western drawl.

Nathan felt a growing warmth in his groin and realized what was about to happen now. All of a sudden, he regrated giving Cody such a big dick and heavy nuts. His cock thickened and lengthened, becoming larger than Nathan had ever been. He could feel the veins snaking down his growing dick as his cock head started to grow thicker and bigger. He could feel the cold air surrounding him as the head sneaked out of his foreskin. Wait, his foreskin? He didn’t remember going this far in details. His nuts fall down and grew thicker and full of potent cum as he could feel them going overload working on creating new manly sperm nonstop. Nathan could feel the horniness starting to rise as his body was assaulted by huge amount of testosterone. A drop of precum appeared at the tip of his cock as he could feel the weight of it between his legs, an odd sensation that both embarrassed and intrigued him. His buttocks tightened, becoming firm and lifted, while his thighs and calves thickened with muscle.

The transformation was almost complete when Nathan felt a sharp pain on his left pec. He wanted to scream, but his body was still frozen. The pain was like a branding iron pressing into his skin. “What is this?!” screamed Nathan in his new deep voice. A voice appeared from all around him “Dear user: NATHAN BROWN, as talked with you earlier on, you agreed to review and help us create the new generation of AI used for our NPCs. For that, your character, CODY, will have to be monitored. This assignation, XXIV, is the link to your identity and allow us to track your character. Please relax as your actions will be tracked and then saved. The program will make sure to copy all your movements, thoughts and everything that your character, CODY, might do to make sure to copy human mechanism that will be implemented in our NPCs later on. Thank you for your service.” When it subsided, a Roman numeral tattoo “XXIV” was there, bold and black, as if it had always been part of him. Nathan could feel the tattoo pulsing with energy, as if it was more than just ink on skin.

As his body finished transforming, clothes materialized around him. He now wore a sleeveless, open checkered flannel shirt and a short pair of denim shorts. Then he felt his ear being stabbed as the earing appeared in it and the coldness of the silver metal appeared around his neck. His feet then started to tingle as Nathan could feel the skin of his sole getting thicker and denser to better serve his barefoot lifestyle in the forest.

Nathan was terrified about what he just heard; his humanity was going to be used to program AI that will be implemented in NPCs. How is that even possible? Does that mean he was Cody now? And for a whole month? He didn’t agree to this. He had a life outside, friends, job to find, maybe some interviews if he was lucky. And about the bills? What was he going to do?

As all the questions were swirling in his head, Nathan fell the restriction holding his body in place as it was being modified lift. He could move on his own again, and the first thing he tried to do was take of his shirt or necklace. But every tug on the clothes or metal fell like he was trying to rip a part of him away. The clothes were part of him now. Nathan started to feel tears rise once again in his ears as all he could see around him were the infinite void of this artificial world. “Modification process terminated, Assimilation to the realm starting in 3,2,1…” Out of nowhere, the ground started to shake under Nathan’s barefoot. Then he saw light pierce through the ceiling. As a reflex, he put his hands to cover his bright hazel eyes but the light was way too bright. Nathan could see entire walls of darkness vanish and being obliterated by this bright light coming from above and fear started to raise in him. Nathan closed his eyes as all he could see was the infinite light engulfing the void and him with it. When he opened his eyes, Nathan was alone in a cabin in the woods, standing in front of a mirror. For the first time, he could see from the first person point of view what the body he created really looked like. Everything was looking so life like, even scent of pine and dirt were coming from the opened window next to him. He could smell the woods, feel the sun on his skin, the wood under his foots. Everything was lifelike. As Nathan sight started to look what his transformed body looked like, his head started to spin. Nathan grabbed it with his two manly hands but the pain was growing stronger. And in the blink of an eye, Nathan was no more. Cody stared at his reflection before smiling and flexing his biceps while smiling. His right hand lowered to get inside his shorts and scratch his hairy dick before putting his fingers under his nose to smell his musk. Cody laughed as he walked away, grabbing a snack on his way out to go exercise a bit in the nature.

“New NPC starting test phase. Remaining time 30 days, 23 hours 59 minutes 23 seconds. Behavior analysis… Acting following user NATHAN BROWN encoding. Tester assimilation… Assimilation stable, user will turn back when tests are over.”

______________________________________________________________ Hey guys! Here's another story back from the Vault, and it's my first ever published story: LifeX Hope you guys enjoy this new version of my story. Let me know what you think of it. As always, my asks are open and i'm always looking for new ideas and prompts from you. I try to answer them all and I love to read your ideas so please, don't be afraid to send anything you'd like me to write and I'll do my best to do it :) Take care of yourself! P.S. A follow up to this story should arrive soon ;)

[greatunironic]

concept:

everyone experiences a time loop in their life. the duration varies, from person to person, loop to loop — the length of the loop window itself, and the times it, well, loops. the shortest window on record was a ten minute loop (the woman who experienced that nearly went mad, repeating those minutes for months) and the longest loop window was two years.

there are people, too, it’s said, who barely even know they were in a loop: two or three times, and a sense of deja vu.

but everyone knows that it must have been there loop, that moment, that feeling; because everyone experiences a loop, one way or another.

statistically, it’s most likely you’ll experience your loop sometime between the ages of 18 to 45. it’s rare that the loop happens before someone reaches puberty but not unheard of: only three in the whole of record history, though scholars allow there could be more that weren’t reported, not noticed.

the oldest recorded looper was a 92, and lived two weeks for five years. he died a few days later.

there are lots of theories about the loops, whole schools of thought devoted to why humans experience time like this, once in their lives. people spend their whole lives studying it, hoping maybe they’ll spend their own loop looking at it (though of course what you build in your loop is always left behind). books are written, movies are made, time loops romanticized and made more beautiful than they are.

because here is the thing: the point of the time loop isn’t to save or prevent something: it’s to embrace the things we cannot change.

they don’t know it until much later, but nancy, jonathan, and joyce have a rare semi-shared loop: will’s disappearance, the week after. it lasts longer for nancy than it does for the others, unable to stop trying to save barb.

hopper’s always been surprised he didn’t relive sara’s death: instead, it’s the moment he chooses to give eleven up for will, and the rest of them.

max experiences the third and fourth of july, 1985, over and over and over and —

eleven spends an eternity in that desert bunker, though really it’s only two days.

steve only realizes he’s in his loop when he goes to bed the night after they bury eddie munson in an unmarked and he wakes up next to nancy wheeler in 1983.

already too late for barb, he thinks, mind spinning, palms clammy. so what’s it gonna be?

[lauraneedstochill]

The object of my desires

summary: You overhear Aemond making a snarky remark about the way you dress. You decide to teach him a lesson. warnings: friends to lovers (both are idiots), a dash of angst, a lot of teasing, things get very heated (NSFW), with a sprinkle of softness. words: ~6500 (it was supposed to be shorter but they started making out...) author’s note: the idea first popped into my head months ago when I saw this post. also, for the longest time I’ve been thinking that “you are the bane of my existence” monologue is a perfect fit for Aemond — and yet I haven’t seen a single fic* using that quote?! so I finally decided to give it a try.

If anyone asked you to describe your relationship with Aemond, you would’ve said that the two of you were almost friendly. The almost part was the trickiest one to explain because, even though both of you acted very content with the way of things, you still couldn’t help but think that you wanted something more, no matter how much you’ve tried to deny it.

You got to know him through Helaena who you befriended when you were ten and six. A year older than you, she was the weird girl no one wanted to talk to and you approached her out of curiosity but soon learned that she had a cheerful nature and quite a nimble mind. She loved your sharp sense of humor and energetic wit and the two of you became close, your contrasting personalities complimenting each other very well.

Your introduction to her brothers was brief and for a couple of months, you didn’t interact with either of them. She’s been married to Aegon for four years back then and even though he immediately didn’t strike you as a faithful husband — always a cup away from being wasted and shamelessly gazing at every maid’s legs — he mostly looked harmless. Aemond, however, was the exact opposite — guarded and collected, he kept his distance from everyone, making it clear that it was his choice. You could only get a good look at the prince when you were passing the training yard, and a couple of times you found your gaze lingering on him — on the lean body and tense muscles, on the way he moved the sword with ease. In those moments you felt the danger radiating off him, yet it never scared you away. But you knew better than to fawn over the prince who seemingly paid you no mind.

A significant change came on the evening of Aegon’s ten and ninth birthday which Helaena begged you to come to — you weren’t fond of big events but couldn’t say no to her. For the most part, the feast was tolerable as you’ve spent it by her side, making glib remarks about the guests, much to your friend’s amusement. But when the celebration died down and all the nobles began to disperse, Aegon, drunk out of his mind, decided to make advances toward his wife whom he ignored for the duration of the evening. His approach was harsh and unexpected, and the look on Helaena’s face shuttered your heart. 

“Your grace, your manners escape you,” you tried warning him, shielding your friend but Aegon was too wasted to notice your fiery gaze. In his inebriated state, he probably mistook you for a maid as he grabbed your arm in an effort to shove you aside. Next thing you know, your fist connected with his nose — and then Aegon was lying on the floor, eyes wide and blood gushing down his face as you stood next to him, fuming. Before he could think of an answer, Aemond appeared out of nowhere — just in time to drag his brother away, while the drunkard was hurling insults at you in a frenzy. Only when they left, it dawned on you what you just did. 

You expected for the king’s guard to come for your head in the morrow, but instead, a few surprising things happened. First, you learned that the boys didn’t rat you out, making it look like they were the ones who got into a fight. Aegon did apologize to Helaena and from that day, his temper softened as he never dared to repeat his mistake. But, most importantly, Aemond took a sudden interest in you.

Overall, his behavior stayed the same, but you regularly caught him looking in your direction, and every time you saw each other, he made sure to acknowledge your presence. He never initiated the conversation first, only sometimes curtly voicing his opinion, yet you noticed him paying attention to your chattering with Helaena — and you could swear that a few times he suppressed a laugh at your jokes.

The mystery veil that the prince was surrounded with sparked your curiosity, and you wanted to crack down his guard, to get a chance to know him. The opportunity presented itself one day when Helaena and you came to watch Aemond train. You saw him and Criston arguing as the prince was late to his studies but Cole refused to let Aemond leave until he wins the last bout. Whether he wasn’t in the right mood or had something distracting him, Aemond kept losing, and his teacher only pushed him further, relentless in his attempts.

“Ser Criston, you’re putting yourself in harm’s way,” you chimed in, making the man turn to you with a chuckle, while Aemond gave you a tired look.

“May it be that the finest swordsman of the realm is simply avoiding his responsibilities?” you suggested with a light grin.

“Mayhaps he is in need of some encouragement,” Cole teased. 

“Well, I would’ve volunteered to share the burden of learning with him,” you remark. “If only he could win this one bout,” you added, keeping eye contact with the prince.

It took Aemond about two minutes to knock his opponent to the ground which made Helaena gasp in surprise while you were trying to hide a smile. Without a word, Aemond came to you, and the two of you went to the library. On your way there, he kept silent, but you were not intimidated at all. When you walked into the room, Aemond hesitated as if giving you a chance to change your mind. But you boldly turned to him:

“If you mean to scare me with the prospect of studying, I should warn you that I’ve read more books than you can count,” you informed the prince.

It was the first time when you saw him smiling — widely and shamelessly, looking very smug.

“You are full of surprises, my lady,” he grinned. “Do you mean to challenge me?”

It turned out that Aemond liked challenges, and you enjoyed being one. Since that day, you got into the habit of joining him in the library and the prince would accompany you in his free time more often than not. You would dare him to read faster, to fight harder, to engage in conversations — or sometimes to simply have fun. Whenever you had a reason to disagree with him, he was always respectful and found himself entertained by your way of thinking, which made your discussions and even arguments span for hours.

As years went by, you kept playfully bantering back and forth, and Helaena told you that you were the only one allowed to act like that around her brother. You couldn’t understand what his motives were but it was hard to deny that his company was pleasant. Aemond grew up into quite an eligible bachelor and his attention did flatter you, even though he never crossed the line. Sometimes you even dared to entertain the thought that maybe — just maybe — Aemond had a soft spot for you.

Until one day things took a turn. Helaena’s twentieth birthday was meant to be just another celebration that you would’ve skipped if it wasn’t for her. The only way for you to pass the time was dancing which you’ve actually come to love in recent years, enjoying the rhythm of the music that helped to lighten your mood. Your dear friend mostly preferred to sit back so you were often compelled to find yourself a company that would be bearable, at the very least. That evening, you got acquainted with Jacaerys Velaryon, the boy being younger than you but almost a foot taller. He approached you with a small smile on the pretext of knowing Helaena, and you soon learned that he was a good dancer. But the best thing about Jace was that he spend most of his time talking about his betrothed, Baela, who he was absolutely smitten with. The girl sadly couldn’t be present as she had to stay with her dad, who recently sailed home, and the dark-haired boy couldn’t keep his mouth shut. All the time while dancing he was either gushing about her or asking your advice, which you found adorable and gladly chatted with him.

Throughout the feast, you felt Aemond looking at you, probably more than usual. You knew that he wasn’t fond of dancing and even though his gaze on you felt rather good, deep down you wished that he was the one you were spending time with. After a couple of hours, however, you saw his usual spot empty, and the prince was nowhere to be found. For some reason, you got a very bad feeling and, after leaving Jace to take a break, you went to Helaena. She informed you that Aemond left not so long ago, adding that it looked like her brother was upset about something.

That’s how you ended up roaming through the castle halls, giving in to the unsettling feeling churning in your stomach. Passing by one of the chambers, you suddenly hear voices and realize that it's Aemond talking to his brother. You don’t mean to eavesdrop and were about to turn around — but then Aegon mentions your name.

“You are foolish to wait for so long. You could’ve at least asked Y/N for a dance,” his remark is followed by gulping sounds. Is he ever without a cup? You hold back a giggle — which quickly disappears when you hear Aemond’s answer.

“I prefer not to waste my time on such futile activities,” and his voice is unexpectedly grim.

“You may want to reconsider when the lady has every man’s attention. Even the Strong boy was pretty much drooling,” he chuckles, and his words make your brows furrow as you are certain he has no ground to suggest that. You’re a moment away from drowning in doubts, but the younger prince brings you back to reality.

“I suppose it’s hard not to, with the way she’s been dressing lately,” Aemond deadpans.

He says it with a flat tone — yet it feels like a punch that knocks all of the air out of your lungs. There’s a brief pause — and Aegon sounds almost sober when he asks, with a hint of surprise in his voice.

“And what about her dresses?”

“I found them to be... rather bawdy. Although I’m not impressed in the slightest,” Aemond forces out.

Your heart sinks at his words, cheeks heating up. You wait for him to say anything else, to give an explanation, at least one reason for his accusations but there is none. Aegon laughs — and you feel sick to your stomach, realizing that you cannot bear listening to their conversation any longer.

You walk away as quietly as possible, with cotton feet and your hands shaking. You rush past the hall and out of the castle, tears pricking in your eyes. Only once you are all alone, embraced by the silence of the night, you take a deep breath of air. Aemond’s words are ringing in your ears, loud and clear. You look down at your dress in disbelief: the neckline is basically non-existent, your arms are fully covered, and it barely shows any skin at all. And yet he thinks this is inappropriate? 

Your cheeks are wet and burning yet you feel anger bubbling in your chest. You never thought Aemond could be cruel — and yet it’s him, out of all people, who let those vile words slip out of his mouth like they meant nothing. Like you meant nothing to him. For years, you heard people calling him cold-hearted and arrogant but you were naive to believe that the prince made an exception for you. Out of all the mistakes you’ve made so far, this one might’ve been the most painful one.

Your outrage spreads like a wildfire as you think back to every interaction you’ve had with Aemond, his every glance and every word that fooled you into thinking that he cared. Was he secretly criticizing you the whole time? How many other jokes did he make behind your back? Who even gave him the right to judge whether your dresses are acceptable or not? As if he is any different from all the other men whose brains turn into mush when they get a glimpse of a female body.

You stop dead in your tracks when an idea suddenly forms in your head. It’s very uncharacteristic of you — at first, you hesitantly brush it off, thinking that it’s not wise to make any emotional decisions. And yet the idea keeps nagging at you for the remainder of the night and for a few hours you ponder if you should take such a brazen approach. But then his unkind remark pops back in your memory — over and over and over.

By the time the morning comes, you make up your mind.

He says he isn’t impressed in the slightest? There is only one way to find out for sure. On the very next day, you take Helaena for a walk in the garden, well aware that her brothers will accompany you as Aegon doesn’t have anything else to do and Aemond prefers to take a stroll after his training. Your dress is close-fitted yet modest, not an inch shorter than necessary. It is not about the dress but what’s underneath it — and the object in question clinks lightly with your every step. You show it to Helaena right away and she finds it delightful, the jingling only making her smile. Then her siblings come to join you, you curtsy but barely spare Aemond a glance. You don’t ask a single question about his day, instead taking interest in Aegon. The older prince gives you a suspicious side-eye but welcomes the chatting. It doesn’t take long before he notices the sound, too.

“Am I the only one who can hear the clinking? I am almost certain that it’s not just in my head,” he debates.

“Oh, it’s Y/N’s doing,” Helaena beams unsuspectingly.

“Apologies, my prince, it’s my aunt’s gift that caught your ear,” you slow down and take a few seconds to make sure you’ve got everyone’s attention.

And then, with one gentle motion, you pull up your dress — ever so slightly, just enough to show your ankle and the thin bracelet wrapped around it. The jewelry is made out of gold and it instantly catches the sunlight, casting warm sparkles on your skin. It’s decorated with tiny coins which make a jingling sound as you slowly turn your leg from side to side.

“I thought it was rather pretty. Don’t you think?” you only look at Aegon.

“Umm yes,” he gulps. “Rather pretty it is,” the prince mumbles, and then his gaze shifts to someone else. You don’t need to turn your head to know who he’s looking at. Instead, you continue with your walk without a care in the world.

“I should ask my aunt to bring you a similar one, my dear,” you suggest to Helaena and she eagerly agrees.

You have a few other gifts for Aemond, too. Next time you opt for a different bracelet — with no coins and no jingling, a simple golden chain. But your dress is a tad bit shorter and the jewelry catches everyone’s eye with ease as it looks like a ray of light curled around your ankle. You deliberately walk through the training yard, arm-in-arm with Helaena. You give Ser Christon the brightest smile, and he politely nods in your direction.

“Good morrow, ladies.”

“How’s your training coming along, Ser Criston?” you ask, and it feels strange to talk to him instead of Aemond. You bitterly remind yourself that you apparently overstated the value of those conversations.

“I’m afraid, we are hardly progressing. Mayhaps you will keep us company? I fear, we are in need of some cheerful words,” Cole shoots a glance at the prince who stands by, his eye fixed on you.

“Aren’t we all, Ser Criston,” you tilt your head at him. “But it seems like my pursuit of lessening your burden did nothing good,” and before he can ask anything else, you walk away, ignoring Aemond completely.

Helaena senses that something is off, giving you a worried look.

“Is there anything troubling you?”

“Not when I’m with you, my friend,” you reassure her and force your smile to look as believable as possible.

Partially, it is true as her company always brings you joy and you don’t want to sour her mood by recalling Aemond’s words that wounded your pride. You refuse to admit that he also grazed your heart. In a week, you accept Helaena’s invitation to join them for breakfast and you decide to up your game. It’s the perfect time of year for sleeveless dresses but the one you pick also has a daring addition: two thin cuts under your armpits. They are barely visible but when you put your arms up, it’s easy to distinguish the contour of your ribcage and the softness of your skin peeking through. You sit by Helaena’s side, easily keeping up with the conversation and not glancing at Aemond once. After the food is taken away and everyone starts wandering around the room, you get up to fix your hair, standing not too far away from the dining table as you raise your hands and run your fingers into your hairdo.

“May I offer assistance?” Aegon leans on the wall next to you, his mouth curling into a smile.

You roll your eyes and are about to shush him when he quietly adds:

“I know what you are doing,” you turn your gaze to him, and he winks at you. “From the look on my brother’s face, I can tell you that it’s working.”

You fight the urge to look at Aemond.

“I’m afraid I can’t share your concerns,” you are fiddling with hairpins absentmindedly.

Aegon shoots a glance over your shoulder and then back at you.

“He seems pretty bothered to me. Also pissed, but that may be my doing.”

“Look at you, my little helper,” you ramble as the cool air sneaks into the cuts of your dress, and you slightly quaver.

“Well, if you are ever in need of a helping hand...”

“I will not hesitate to stick this pin into your eye,” you cut him off.

“No need!” Aegon throws up his hands, cackling. “I’d like to keep them both. So I can have a better look at my brother’s reaction when you do... whatever you plan on doing,” the shit-eating grin on his face tells you that he is enjoying this.

But when you turn around and suddenly make eye contact with Aemond, your own enjoyment fades. You notice his frown and the probability of you being the reason for it doesn’t bring any satisfaction. You let Helaena lead you away, feeling his gaze on your back as you walk out. You do not yield to your emotions, continuing with your plan, as days turn into weeks, and then a month goes by without you as much as sharing a word with Aemond. Truth be told, you want nothing more than to stay away from him at all costs but you will not give him the satisfaction. He said he didn’t like the way you dress — and you make sure he sees every single dress you are in. You stay within the bounds of decency as you definitely have no intention to disgrace yourself, and none of your dresses are borderline scandalous, contrary to what any prince may think. You deign to let him see the curve of your neck with your hair up high, the bending of your shoulders and the sunkissed skin of your arms, the arc of your knees and mere glimpses of the upper part of your legs. You leave the rest to his imagination — granted, he has a good one considering how much time he spends reading.

During the second month, his patience starts running out.

In the years you’ve known Helaena, you learned all the ins and outs of the castle, so you manage to avoid Aemond at first, vanishing from his sight when needed. But, as time passes, you notice that he is tempted to talk to you, and escaping that possibility becomes harder with each day. One morning, when you walk into the yard, Aemond abruptly stops his training upon seeing you, and the two of you just stare at each other for a second, both startled and holding your breath. You are saved by Ser Criston, who calls for the prince, distracting him, giving you a chance to leave, and you all but run away.

After that day, you temporarily cease your visits to the castle, deciding to take a break and make up weak excuses to Helaena. Only now that you were apart, you realize how much you miss Aemond’s physical presence. His sudden, fleeting touches — to help you out of a carriage or to steady you after a fit of laughter, your hands brushing when you share books, his fingers sometimes lightly grazing your waist for the reason you are yet to know. You haven't talked to him for days, let alone felt him in your close proximity, and yet he's constantly on your mind. Somewhere in the midst of it all, you wake up at night realizing you yearn for him terribly. You wish you could go back to that damn evening of the feast, to confront him right away, to maybe get some clarification. But now too much time has passed and you’re too wrapped up in... whatever you plan on doing, so your ego insists that giving up isn’t an option.

When you receive the invitation for Aegon’s name day, you are ready to decline, but then begrudgingly decide to give it one last chance. You practice the look of indifference, the nonchalant tone, the proud gait, and you pull out your best dress. It’s green and the color is so bright, it dazzles the eyes, the material light and flowing — and yet, when you put it on, it feels incomplete. As you look in the mirror, the vivid tone of the fabric suddenly reminds you of something else. It’s a secret you once heard, a hushed conversation between the maids, one of which walked in on the prince when he wasn’t wearing his eyepatch. You only ponder for a minute and then reach for the jewelry piece that definitely will be hard not to notice. The castle is crowded, and you are one of the last guests to arrive. Bracing yourself, you pause at the door for a second. Ser Harrold, who stands there, lets out a surprised hum. “Should I take that as a sign of your disapproval?” you jest, watching his reaction.

“I wouldn’t dare to judge,'” he gives you a polite smile. “But I’m afraid all the men present are at risk of losing reason.”

His comment makes you chuckle and you step a bit closer, letting him take a better look.

“I thought it would match the occasion. Isn’t it beautiful?”

Ser Harrold, gods bless him, keeps his eyes on your face. “As always, it is, lady Y/N.”

It gives you enough confidence to walk in, appearing in all your glory.

The dress is a perfect fit, with a slit down your right side and an open back. The front neckline isn't deep but in the middle of it there’s a thin silver chain with a big, glittering sapphire — and the gem lays perfectly between your breasts. It’s only natural that everyone’s gaze is immediately drawn to the blue spark, all the men in the room gazing at it, voluntarily and not. But the effect their attention has is nothing compared to the wave of heat that warms your body when you feel a very particular gaze finally landing on you. You look right at him — and you catch him gawking, his lips slightly parted as he stares at the sapphire, too, almost in a trance. His hand is gripping a cup of wine with such force, you can see the whitening of his knuckles. When Aemond sharply glances up, your eyes lock for a second, and you look away first. So much for him not being impressed.

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Jace waving at you to come sit with him, and you do not hesitate, letting the one-eyed prince out of sight.

You feel like his eye doesn’t leave you for a second.

You are barely able to sit still while dining and let out a sigh of relief when it’s time for dancing. You rush away from the table, thinking it will provide you with a distraction, and you will be glad for any partner if only he can move his legs and keep his mouth shut. You go to the end of the line, lost in your thoughts, and when you finally come to a stop and look to the other side — you see Aemond standing in front of you.

The tall prince with his hands clasped behind his back, wearing all black, stares at you in a way that makes the crowd around you disappear.

When the dance starts, you step toward each other, and he speaks up first. 

“I couldn’t help but notice your absence. I find myself wondering what is the reason behind it,” his hand briefly touches yours, your bodies following the music.

“Your question is confusing, my prince. As I was merely doing you a favor,” you swap partners but Aemond only looks at you.

“Your leaving hardly favors me,” the prince says when you’re in his arms again. You feel a flicker of anger rising inside but keep your voice down.

“I was actually counting on you being relieved,” you snort, not looking at him. “Since, as it turned out, you were so displeased with my bawdy dresses,” with these words, you step away from him once more.

A minute later you come back to his side but don’t let him say a thing. 

“I’ve always thought bawdy was just another word for a whore. So I suppose I should be glad that you at least had some decency to not stoop so low,” when your eyes meet, you think you’ve never seen him so hurt.

Before he can come up with an answer, you are out of his reach. Then you circle back to Aemond again, and this time your tone comes out hasher.

“I also wonder if you would be so brave to say all that to my face. But it seems that your bravery falters when confronted with the need to speak plainly.”

The rhythm of the music works in your favor, because whenever Aemond tries opening his mouth, you’re swooped away from him, and it gives you time to tighten your self-control. You think you should resent him for his silly words, for his heavy gaze, for him knowing how to dance even though he never once did that with you in all these years.

But you have no resentment for him. All of a sudden you realize what you are actually feeling.

And then the dance comes to an end.

You only curtsy out of politeness, averting your gaze.

“I will not vex you anymore, my prince.”

“Wait, I should —,” he tries to take your hand but you swerve away from him.

“I already promised the next dance to someone else,” you lie. “You are finally free of my company.”

At that very second, when you glance at him before leaving, he looks absolutely heartbroken. Or maybe you just imagined it in an attempt to ease your own pain. Your feet carry you to the library on their own accord, and you’re too distraught to notice until you are already inside, in the dusty silence of the endless shelves. You take a hold of the nearest one, trying to catch your breath. You barely get a minute of solitude before you hear footsteps approaching. And it’s kind of pathetic how easy it is for you to guess who it is. “Your tendency to run away from me is quite unnerving,” Aemond walks in with rapid strides, his voice laced with emotion you can’t read. 

His words, however, trigger your reaction in no time. 

“Maybe it is because I do not want to be in the company of someone who hurt me,” you turn to him, and he’s already only a couple of feet away. The dim lighting illuminates his silver hair, the outline of his broad shoulders, his eye is boring into you. He looks so beautiful in his frustration, your chest tightens at the sight.

“I would’ve apologized right away if only you let me speak,” the prince retorts.

“Did something hold you back from apologizing sooner? Or were you too preoccupied with being outraged by my clothing choices?” your heart skips a bit at the intensity of his stare but you refuse to break the eye contact.

“I never said I was outraged.” 

“You weren’t thrilled, either, you made that very clear.”

“You know nothing of my motives because you refuse to listen to me!” he raises his voice and it startles you. But he doesn’t sound angry.

Aemond is standing at arm’s length — and you can clearly see that his face expresses no signs of annoyance or hatred. Instead, he looks at you with longing.

The air in the room feels heavy.

You run your tongue over your lips to moisten them, and Aemond’s eye darts to your mouth.

“We can agree on one thing,” he drawls, his eye locking with yours again as he moves closer. You take a step back — and feel pressed against one of the shelves.

He speaks with his tone low:

“...You vex me to no end.”

With another step, Aemond towers over you, and when you look up, your faces are only inches apart, and his flaming gaze envelops you.

“You are the bane of my existence,” Aemond breathes out. “And the object of all my desires,” his voice breaks, and you feel him inhaling sharply.

His words are akin to a match that lights up a fire deep in you, the muscles of your stomach tightening involuntarily. With one finger he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear, and you can’t help but lean into his touch, your breathing shuddering.

“I’m haunted by your image everywhere I go,” he rasps, his nose brushing yours. “Night and day, I dream of you,” his index finger moves under your chin, close to the pulsating point on your neck. You feel the heat spilling into the pit of your belly, and you want nothing more than for Aemond to kiss you.

“I was raised to act with honor, but that honor is hanging by a thread every minute I spend in your presence,” he whispers vehemently, his words hot against your mouth. 

You are dizzy, breathless — and craving him. Everything else is forgotten, erased, nonexistent. It’s just you two.

“You are all I can think about,” you confess with a strangled voice, looking at Aemond through your lashes — and it sets him off.

His lips capture yours in an instant, claiming and burning with need. He pulls you closer, his hands on your back, and yours go up his shoulders to lock behind his neck. Aemond kisses you deeply, hungrily, sweeping his tongue over your lower lip and then sliding it in, intertwining with yours. One of his palms moves lower, outlining the curve of your hip, glides over your leg — and into the slit of your dress. He grabs your thigh, his thumb landing on the inner side of it, and he starts slowly massaging small circles on it. Him touching your bare skin elicits a moan from you and in the heat of the moment, as your mind goes blank and you can only focus on the pleasuring sensation, you spread your legs, and his finger slips higher — to the place where you want him the most.

He breaks the kiss in surprise, and you wait for it to dawn on him. To realize that you are, in fact, completely naked under the dress. You can feel arousal pooling between your legs, your body prickling with anticipation.

“I was under the impression that you owe me an apology,” you unabashedly murmur, looking him straight in the eye. 

You don’t know if it’s a challenge or a plea — at this point, you do not care. Apparently, neither does Aemond, as he takes no time hoisting your leg up to his waist for better access, firmly holding it in place. Your respite barely lasts a few seconds before you feel his other hand cupping your sex, rubbing his fingers through your folds. You shut your eyes, gasping for air, as he unhurriedly smears your wetness — and then his finger dips into your core, the sensation making you shiver.

“Aemond,” you sign, your body trembling with desire.

Trying to inhale, you get a whiff of aroma, a mix of leather and salty ocean breeze — and all at once, you are surrounded by him. His scent, his warmth, his scorching touches, the taste that’s left on your lips. He leaks into your every cell.

Aemond nuzzles into the crook of your neck, leaving wet kisses there, his finger picking up the pace.

“I’ve missed you,” he avows. “So fucking much,” he lightly nibbles the skin above your collarbone. “Missed hearing you say my name. Say it again.”

He doesn’t need to ask twice — and the interweaving of letters rolls off your tongue with each breath:

“Aemond”

“Aemond”

“Aemond.”

His name fills your mouth, leaving no space for air, your throat tight and breathing rapid. Aemond’s lips move down to your shoulder.

“Oh, the things I want to do to you,” he haltingly rambles, and the implication makes you clench around him, dragging a low groan from the prince.

He leaves a trail of kisses following the silver chain down to your breasts. The gem feels cold in contrast to your skin, and even though your head is clouded with lust, it triggers a memory. You move one of your shaking hands to his face, guiding it up to look at you again.

“I want to see the real thing,” you whisper, gazing at his eyepatch. “Let me. Please, let me.”

His hand between your legs doesn’t stop its movement but the one on your thigh trembles. You are too caught up in the moment to think straight, and before he can answer, your fingers roughly remove the leather patch.

The sapphire glows like a beacon, the cold blue of it is dazzling and piercing through your blurred vision. The tones and shadows are interlacing, cyan melting into azure and dark blue, and it’s mesmerizing. Seeing him like this, stripped of his restrain and his disguise, is the most intimate, precious thing in the world.

“Gods, you are divine,” you moan, panting.

You catch a flash of emotion in his eye — before you can take another breath, his lips are on yours again. This kiss is steady and fervent, and while his mouth melts into yours, Aemond adds a second finger. It slides in with ease, and he builds up the speed that makes you swallow air. He’s terrifyingly good with his fingers, with his every move, precise and fast. 

“Aemond,” you whimper in his mouth, but his lips keep chasing yours, and you can only follow, letting him take your breath away again and again. You lose track of time, lose yourself in his arms. His face is always close to yours, he breathes in every moan you make and keeps his gaze on you, watching you squirm, your cheeks flushed and lips quivering.

You helplessly whisper his name, and it comes out as a prayer, the coil in your stomach ready to snap. Aemond gives you a breathless smile.

“You do not need to beg me, ever,” he says in a husky voice. “I will give you anything you want,” with these words, he presses a thumb on your pearl, resuming the well-known circling motion, making you choke on air.

It takes merely a few seconds for you to come undone, the wave of pleasure blinding and crushing over you. His lips are at the corner of your mouth, ready to cover it should you make any loud sound, but you drop your head back, mouth falling slack in a silent cry.

His fingers slow the pace until you let out a quiet whine, and he removes them, carefully lowering your leg. You feel fuzzy-headed, trying to catch your breath, a few beads of sweat rolling along your hairline. One of his hands gently falls on your back, rubbing soothing patterns on your skin.

“I truly am sorry,” Aemond admits.

You chuckle lightly. “I think you already made it up to me.”

Despite the hint of humor, there’s an anxious feeling stirring in your abdomen, and you are afraid to open your eyes to meet his. You don’t know what’s to come and you dread the emptiness that will follow if he leaves.

Aemond tenderly cups your face with his hand:

“Mayhaps my intentions were not clear enough. I do plan to properly court you,” your eyes snap open at his words.

There’s a brief pause before he adds. “But I still need to apologize for my behavior because you deserved none of it. I was unfair with my judgment as I let jealousy get the best of me,” he sounds genuinely remorseful.

You glance at him in confusion, the gears turning in your head for a moment, and then you realize.

"You were jealous of Jace?!"

Aemond looks down at the floor, and there’s something endearing in his evident embarrassment. With your thumb and index finger you caress the jut of his jaw and make him look at you again.

“Aemond, I can barely consider him a friend. And the boy can only think about Baela, he speaks of her as if she is the light of his life.”

“I know that feeling," Aemond doesn’t hide his smile anymore when he’s with you. He brings your hand to his lips, and the sincerity of his words tugs at your heart. He leaves kisses on your knuckles, and you’re overwhelmed with happiness spreading in your chest.

“Do you get that feeling every time we argue? Or when I challenge you?” you inquire with a giggle.

His laugh vibrates against your skin. When Aemond meets your gaze, there are no doubts and reservations left, no room for denial.

“My biggest challenge was not to fall in love with you. I failed miserably,” he puts both of his hands on your waist, drawing you closer. “But I will humble myself before you because I cannot stand the thought of us being apart ever again,” Aemond presses his forehead against yours.

“I don’t plan on it,” you trace his scar with your finger, giving him goosebumps. “But you do know there still will be days when we vex each other to no end?” your voice is barely audible.

He moves his mouth to yours and, before bringing your lips together, he whispers:

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

And neither would you.

the author doesn’t know how to shut up: — the dress is from “Atonement” (although I imagined her neckline a bit differently); — I haven’t written smut in a very long time so... I hope it was okay? any thoughts and comments will be very appreciated because I’m nervous about this 🥺 (not gonna lie, this was kinda self-indulgent so I hope that at least some of you will enjoy it, too!)

* I know there is an amazing fic called “bane of my existence, object of my desire” by @ jasonsmirrorball — I love it to pieces and highly recommend it! 💕 💚 my masterlist English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes!

[kyber-crystal]

scarlet ibis (songbird) || anakin skywalker

summary: they say the purest love takes the longest time, and your story is nothing short of that. there’s fragility within beauty and to him, you’re a mosaic of stained glass (alt title: 5 times you call anakin skywalker by his last name, and 1 time you finally call him by his first.)

words: ~3.2k

warnings: angst, mild violence, mentions of blood + death (but no major character death dw), two oblivious idiots in love

a/n: 2nd place fic from my mini poll! not my best work LOL, but i think this is one of my favorite fics i've written (so far). i've had this in drafts for about a year or so as well...

one

It was safe to say that even a nanosecond of interacting with Anakin Skywalker made your blood boil. 

He knew just how to push all your buttons and you hated it. How could one person exist for seemingly one purpose only—to piss you off—you didn’t understand it and weren’t sure if you ever would. “Loyal Jedi” my ass. 

If you were the first person to speak up during meetings, he was also the first to counter your points and shoot you down. If you were late to meals in the mess hall, he took the last roll of bread, so you’d have to wait an extra half hour for more to come out. If you were dueling together, he would always point out every microscopic flaw in your technique. You were sure that your head would explode at any moment by his existence alone.

This is so ridiculous—you’re ridiculous.

“You know I can hear you, right?” Anakin glanced at you in his peripheral vision. “Don’t be mad because my plan worked, and yours didn’t. There’s this thing called accepting defeat.”

“Just because I don’t do things the way you do doesn’t mean they’re wrong.”

“They’re not wrong, but they’re not safe. You can’t declare safety compromisation a success. There’s a clear difference between the two.”

You scoffed. “Since when did you, out of all people, account for safety?”

“I should be asking you the same thing.”

“You’re not answering my question.”

“And you’re not answering mine, either.” He reaches behind his ear and turns his comms on. “Now are we going to head home or what?” 

“Aye aye, General,” you responded sarcastically, rolling your eyes. “Let’s embark on the journey of a lifetime.” 

Awkward silence pierces the air like a dozen tiny needles, but you’ll take it over arguing with a wall any day. You knew what you were fighting for and why. You were confident in your actions and believed you always stood on the right side. 

Except, he didn’t. 

It was a quick two day recon and you got the job done in half the allotted time. In and out faster than you could blink. Of course, Anakin would find fault in that one way or another…and he did. You got caught as you were escaping…dragging the mission duration out by an extra day.

Granted, you were only delayed by a few hours, but it was enough to upset him. You couldn’t even feel the ropes digging into your wrists after hour two, anyway. But from the moment he broke in and saw the first speck of blood on you, a look of fury flashed across his eyes. I’d be surprised if he had even half a heart under all that thick skin, you grumbled to yourself. He’ll slice at anything that moves. 

“You know—” Anakin’s voice breaks through the tension-filled air. He wants to say something else, but the words get stuck in the back of his throat and his tongue goes numb.

“I don’t care.” You pick at your scabbing wounds, not caring that they’re starting to sting and peel all over again. Before he can catch you doing so, you tug your sleeves over them and grit your teeth. “We got the job done, Skywalker, that’s all that matters.”

two

Maybe it was time to stop trying to commit mass murder on the punching bags. They weren’t going to do anything except break after two minutes of merciless attacks. 

Hopefully…you wouldn’t get in trouble for the glass vase that happened to get in your path. Nobody ever bothered to wander to the west wing of the Temple often enough to notice, anyway.

As you clenched and unclenched your fists, the cracks in your knuckles slowly started to stretch out like thin, red spiderwebs. The dots of brilliant ruby seemed to glitter among the pristine flooring—almost like they were meant to be there from the start. 

With every shard you threw away, the cracks and fury dug themselves further into your skin, threatening to explode.

You didn’t even need to look up afterward to know his scalding gaze was on you again.  

“Are you trying to get an infection?”

“Fuck off.”

He ignored your biting reply and kneeled down to clean up the mess. Once he was done, he stood back up and grabbed you by the wrist, leading you down the hall to his quarters.

As soon as he sat you down at the edge of his bed, you shot him a death glare. “What in Force’s name is your problem?”

“My problem,” Anakin replied, “is that you’re about to bleed all over the place. Let me help.”

“I don’t need fixing, Skywalker,” you snapped. “It’s just a cut.”

Anakin raised a brow at you, then looked down at your hands. “Too bad, I think you do. Broken glass will buryinto places you don’t expect.”

“Then you’re severely underestimating what I’m capable of. So let me go,” you snapped, jerking your wrist out of his grip. You unfortunately did this too fast, and hissed in pain as a result. “I’m fine.”

Sighing, the young Jedi reaches for the bacta pads next to him and works carefully to patch you up. He pretends not to notice the tears welling up in the corners of your eyes. Or the way you pick at the skin by your thumb, or the way your left foot taps the floor in a nervous rhythm. He pretends not to notice everything you do, but you’re everywhere. It frustrates him because he can’t escape. 

“Why do I have a feeling that exterminating the centuries-old vase of magic and splendor wasn’t in your original plan?”

“I was,” your voice wavers, fingers twitching. He notices this, too. “Leave me be.”

Shadows of the late afternoon light dance across the bridge of your nose, and he lets himself stare for a bit longer than normal. And…being who you two are, neither of you realize the fact.  

“You can go now, if you want,” he finally says after the sun begins descending into the horizon. “But make sure not to overexert yourself again.”

You don’t move. You stay there; quietly sitting in the middle of his room with glistening cheeks. Anakin doesn’t bother asking you to leave a second time. 

A fallen angel trapped in an endless prison; a halo and fractured wings that rendered her unable to fly. And yet, amidst all that death and despair, nothing could mar her beauty.

He feels those same little spiderwebs running through his palms, and he feels them shorten. Just a little bit.

three

The halls of the Temple were eerily quiet early in the morning. You would expect more Jedi to be up before the sun rose, but today, all activity had seemed to stop. Gathering the ends of your cloak into your arms, you made a careful climb up onto the rooftops to watch the sunrise. 

It seemed like you weren’t the only one who had this in mind, though.

“The hell are you doing at this hour?” 

“I could ask you the same exact thing,” Anakin replied as he stood up and turned around to face you. “You’re going to fall.” 

“I’m fine, don’t—” You let out a small squeak as you lose your footing and slip. Luckily, though, he catches you in time by wrapping an arm around your waist and holding on tight. Fire shoots through your veins at the feeling of him pressed up against you. “Let go of me, Skywalker!”

Once he leads you to where you can get more stable footing, he lets you go. But even then, there’s a hand that hovers over the small of your back. 

Brilliant bursts of sunlight stream over the horizon and wash over the world in pale red and pink. It stops you from saying something snarky to Anakin because you’re speechless at the breathtaking sight above. 

“I have…something for you,” he clears his throat. “—And don’t hit me. I’m not trying to poison you.” 

“Okay…?”

He reaches into his cloak pocket and pulls out what appears to be jewelry of some kind. 

“How many innocent beings did you kill to get this? Please don’t tell me it was smuggled. Or that you robbed someone for it. I can’t keep something like that.” 

“Y/N.” 

“What?”

“Do you…like it?”

You paused and took one good look at the necklace in his hand. It had to be the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen in all twenty years of living, and even that was an understatement. A teardrop-shaped, deep vermillion stone encased by tiny, glittering jewels—it was as if he had captured the stormclouds himself. It was perfect—too perfect, almost. 

Your voice came out in a whisper. “It’s so pretty.”

He takes a careful step to stand behind you in response. His fingers brush against your neck as he puts the necklace on, and fireworks explode behind your eyes.

Without another word, you turn towards him and rest your chin on his shoulder. He pulls you closer, and your heart feels a little fuller than before. 

four

The warzone was an ugly place. 

If hell was a real thing, this had to be it. The sky is bleeding red and each burst of lightning splits it further apart, the smell of death swirling around with the debris. Battle droids push forward in a stampede and you try your best to ignore the sickening crunch of bone beneath their metal feet. You squeeze your eyes shut as you tighten your hold around your lightsaber and pray to every god out there in the universe because war was cruel and mean and you just wanted to go home and sleep forever because anything, absolutely anything, was better than the suffering you were having to endure now. 

When the shot originally meant for Anakin hits you in the side, you’re unable to fully comprehend the pain because your brain won’t let you. You force yourself to keep going. Pain was temporary…you’d deal with the aftermath later. You could afford to.

What feels like hours passes by and the gunfire doesn’t stop. The incessant ringing in your ears is something you’ve forced yourself to grow accustomed to. 

“Y/N!” Anakin’s voice manages to cut through the howling winds. “You need to—”

He doesn’t get to finish his sentence before a grenade detonates near you and throws you against the walls. A searing pain shoots through your body at the impact and the world tilts on its axis. Scarlet seeps into your tear-stained vision and suddenly, the whole world is drenched in blood.

This was it…

If you were going to die now, it would be as far from pretty as you could possibly get. 

It’s another slow few minutes before he finally finds you slumped against the stone. Somehow, you manage to shoot him a small smile before wincing. “Took you long enough to get here.” 

“You…”

“Oh, wow, I’ve been shot,” you let out a dry laugh, pressing a hand over your wound. The color immediately drained from his face as he saw blood seeping through your fingers. “That’s a whole lot of red.”

He crouches down next to you to assess your state, pressing the commlink in his ear as he does so. “Why is it that you’re always getting hurt?” 

“My middle name is Trouble, that’s why.” You cough, and more red drips down your lips. “Trouble follows me around wherever I go.”

“It’s not fair,” Anakin mumbled under his breath, applying pressure to your torso as you wince again. “I’m supposed to be jumping in front of bullets for you and getting close to being blown up, not the other way around.” 

“I decided that your massive ego needed a little break so I took the workload for you,” you snarked. “Happy now, Skywalker?”

For the first time ever, he doesn’t bite back with an equally sarcastic response. You don’t question it. “No. I’m not.”

The returning journey's dead silent, save for your labored breathing due to your cracked ribs. You try to sit up, but he places a firm hand on your shoulder to keep you from moving. 

“I told you I’m fine—”

“You need to rest,” he exhales, the distress and tiredness evident in his eyes. “Please.”

“Okay…”

Wordlessly, Anakin reaches over to cup his hands over yours and and brings them to his lips. A pleasant sense of warmth overtakes you and you can almost pretend like the ship’s heater isn't broken and you’re melting, little by little. And if you look closer, you can see clusters of galaxies and shooting stars behind his steel blue eyes. The thought alone comforts you and starts to lull you to sleep. 

His eyes shift to the necklace; the gemstone sits still against your sternum as your chest rises and falls. Beauty among chaos. He wonders every day how such stark differences can coexist in a peaceful manner. 

“For what it’s worth,” he murmurs long after you’ve drifted off, “I never really hated you.”

five

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

You placed your hands on your hips as you observed the pitiful scene before you. The Jedi Order could host extravagant events and use expensive artillery and clones, but wouldn’t account for comfortable sleeping accommodations. Making a mental note to politely complain to Master Windu, you let out a long sigh. 

“If I stretch out, I’ll fall off,” Anakin pointed out as he too stared at the small queen bed (you were sure it was a twin, though). 

“I’d fall off, too.”

“You know what…I’ll take the floor. I don’t want to hear you complaining about back pain in the morning.” 

He was about to take his pillow and toss it to the floor before you grabbed his wrist. “Are you nuts? I can’t let you do that.”

“Then what do you want me to do?” 

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know, share the bed without kicking me in the middle of the night?”

Both of you stopped and stared at each other at this. 

“The audacity you have to say that when you’re the kicker…” Anakin began. 

“I’m using the bathroom first.” You pushed past him to go wash up. “Don’t be a bed hog, Skywalker.”

Minutes later, you’re both settled in under the covers and have fallen into a comfortable silence. The only things you can hear are the crickets chirping outside and Anakin’s steady breathing. If you ignored the fact that you were on a mission and crammed into an incredibly tiny motel room, you could imagine that this was a peaceful weekend getaway to some tropical planet. 

You’re the first one to break the silence and speak up. “Do you wonder when the war will end? Or if it’ll end at all?”

“All the time.” He rolls over on his side to face you. “And what I’d do afterwards.”

“Where would you go?”

Anakin hums for a moment before responding. “I don’t know. You?”

“I’d go back to Naboo. To the lakes, where the water is so clear you can see your future, and the roses are redder than your face under the summer sun. Padme would take me there all the time when we were younger.” 

“I think I’d follow you, then.”

“But there’s sand, and lots of it,” you laughed. “Are you sure?”

“I’d be willing to bear its coarse, rough, and irritating qualities for you. Only once, though. I have my limits.”

Your heart warms at the mini confession. “I wish we could just end everything now. Call off the troops, sign a few treaties or something…end the war. I’m tired of the violence and bloodshed. I know everyone else is too.”

“I know.”

Anakin’s hand finds its way into yours, and the tension in your shoulders slowly unravels as your fingers lace with his. 

And all the cracked and bleeding crevices on your skin start healing the longer you lean into his touch. It’s like he has a needle and spool of thread in hand, and he’s slowly but surely stitching you back together. 

plus one

The giant metropolis of Coruscant had gone quiet under blankets of snow—it was a sight unlike any other. You hadn’t seen a speck of snow hit since you stepped foot onto the Jedi Temple as a child. 

You stood alone in the hangar bay with bated breath and reddened, frostbitten fingers. Like you’d dipped them in blood before letting them dry for a bit.. He had to be here any minute now; you didn’t want him to return and not have anyone to welcome him back. So despite the subzero temperatures and barely-healing knuckles, you remained in place. 

When his ship touches down and he hops out with a wide smile, you can feel a giant weight being lifted off your chest. He jogs toward you and brings you in for a crushing embrace, and for once, you finally feel at home. 

“It’s freezing. What are you doing here?” He’s sweating, even though he looks like he should be cold. “You should’ve headed inside.”

“I waited for you, what else would I be doing?”

Anakin grins again and hugs you even tighter. “I missed you. More than anything.” 

Your heart suddenly starts to ache at his admission and that’s when the realization kicks in. “I thought I lost you, Anakin. You could’ve died. I couldn’t sleep for three days after I lost your signal. And yet you’re standing here acting like it’s no big deal because at least you’re alive and in one piece.”

“Y/N…”

A chill runs down your spine and you know in that moment that it has nothing to do with the weather. You knew this wasn’t right; you weren’t supposed to be doing this, but it felt more natural than anything you’d ever done.

That’s when you find an Anakin-shaped shard of glass wedged deep in your heart and you don’t know how it found its way there, but you don’t even bother pulling it out. Glass splinters are supposed to be these jagged, disfigured things, but this one is beautiful and even shines amongst the rubble. It’ll bury its way into places you don’t expect. With the way he fits against your body, you can’t help but feel like he was meant to fill the gaping hole in your heart. So wholly, so perfectly without a single scratch or flaw. 

You look up at him and feel your breath get caught in your throat. Since when did he make you so nervous? 

He’s even closer now and so are you, so you press your mouth to his as if doing so would save you from falling apart. Your brain short-circuits, and as you sink into the sudden burst of warmth you realize you don’t want this to end.

“Took you long enough,” he mumbles against your skin as you pull apart. “I was starting to wonder when…”

“Shut up. Don’t ruin the moment,” you muttered before bringing your hand to his cheek and kissing him a second time. He doesn’t object and tightens his hold around you, and a fire spreads through you from head to toe. 

“I love you,” Anakin says after a while. “Even though you like sand, and I don’t.”

“I knew that already,” you joked with a smile and close your eyes, taking in a deep breath. “You’re not exactly the most subtle person ever.”

“Neither are you,” he chuckles.

“But I love you too.”

tags, including people who may be interested: @arkofblake @dameronology @fl0ating @voguesir @lady-elena-adeline @aliciaasky @katelynnwrites @freeshavocadoooo @buckysbeloved @kelieah @kaleidoscope1967eyes @lam-ila @unstablecaffeinatedmind @elenavampire21 @joyfullyswimmingface

add yourself to the general taglist/top gun specific taglist !

[chaotic-archaeologist]

I have about 3 years left until I have a masters degree, but I want to work in CRM/my country’s equivalent to we-wanna-build-a-road-here-you-better-save-the-graves for a few years maybe before i possibly go for a phd. As a neurodivergent person who struggles with routines and energy levels I think a lot about how i would manage such a massive full time job. Currently I work part time at a museum that hosts small archaeological digs for kids and adults, and i have been on excavation courses before, so I know how it partially feels like.

My question is; how do archaeologists who work in the field make time and energy for going to the gym, hanging out with friends and cooking etc outside of work? It can be so intense when you work with stuff you love. Any thoughts?

- @academiaautumn

I think the best advice I can give you is that you need to get in contact with someone working this job in your country who can give you a sense of how things work, because every country is going to be a little bit different. If you're in college/university, your professors probably have connections with colleagues or former students that they can put you in contact with.

I haven't done CRM, but I've been in similar situations and heard from friends who have, and I'll be real with you: a lot of the things you're asking about? You just do not do them. But keep in mind this is for US CRM and your mileage (or kilometerage) may vary.

These jobs are location specific, so you have to travel to wherever the excavation is. Usually for a set duration, with the longest being maybe a couple of months. This time frame and travel limits a lot of what you can do. The company employing you will put you up in a motel, but it probably won't have a kitchen. Because of the travel, most of the people you know are probably on the dig with you.

Time and energy... it depends. Check out the notes on this post for different archaeologists talking about what they do in a day. CRM is hard work, which can also translate to less energy for socialization/extracurricular activities than less physical jobs.

I'm a big believer that archaeology is for everyone, but unfortunately that does not mean that all areas of archaeology are accessible across the board. Before committing to this plan, you need to get a very clear understanding of what this work entails and how that interacts with your own needs. If you don't think those are compatible, 3 years out is plenty of time to start coming up with alternatives for after your master's (which I'm sure exist).

I did not go into CRM because of my own brain and body issues. I'm not saying that you can't or shouldn't, I'm saying that CRM is a difficult environment and you should do everything you can to set yourself up for success.

If anyone who does have actual CRM experience wants to add their perspective, that would be great.

-Reid

[neishroom]

hi! how are you? may i ask about the age duration in your game? the life cycle of your sims seems so perfect, not too long and not too short and i’m wondering if you have specific days for each life stage? thank you! i love your legacy 💞

Newborns: 1 day (i don't play with newborns)

Infants: 7 days ( this is my least favorite life stage, so I set it for one week, but if you want to take time to raise your infant, you can do 14 days!).

Toddlers: 14 days

children: 28 days

Teenagers: 28 days

Young adults: 62 days

Adults: 77 days

I forgot about Elder, but I'm sure it's 56 days?

This is tailored to my personal gameplay; I feel like the adult stage takes up most of anybody's life. People are adults longer than they are any lifestage , so it's my longest for this reason :]

Hope it works out for you!!!

[mus1g4]

what’s the longest a person has stayed at Hampton jail for ?

The longest a person has done time at Hampton Jail during role play is slightly more than 3 weeks. That sentence was served by the owner Mark Bind.

Question about Long Duration Role Play

[jenscx]

no but minji is lowkey talking this TOO far😭 like girl, i completely understand you being hurt that gf didn’t talk to you for the longest time after her company came out that she was dating some other idol, i get that. AND THEN hearing about a bet on ur relationship, minji deserves to play hard to get as long as she wants BUT DAMN… the relationship between y/n and winter was confirmed fake by y/n the SAME day she texted gf minji back and she’s been on her knees begging for forgiveness ever since😧

atp, does minji miss her or not? cause going around w another idol PUBLICLY (did y/n and winter even have couples photos bro😭) and then saying the relationship was nothing and that y/n is nothing TO YOU, is insane😧😞 bestie best be giving up and staying that way forever😋 cause me personally couldn’t get back w someone even after i explained myself and have been redeeming myself, then they come back w a fake relationship JUST to rub it in my face and hurt me. I JUST HAD A REVELATION.

sorry this is a lot, i’m so incredibly invested and it’s making me sick thinking about it😞

minji is defo a morally grey character here, either u like her or not. both minyn in attention, while the smau is still rather lighthearted, are red flags lol. one of them has no self-confidence and always goes back to her ex and the other one is just a sadist. in the end will yn have character development? probably not because all of this takes place within a week. the duration of their relationship is incredibly short considering their feelings for one another. while you may think yn is stupid for going back, i feel like a lot of people experience the same thing. people joke about going back to their ex and still missing them and they will go back to their ex if they had a chance to.

minji prob doesn’t miss yn, just the idea of her. their relationship can be perceived as genuine or fake. in attention, there’s a always a domino effect. yn is put into a fake relationship -> she doesn’t text minji about it -> minji doesn’t ask her about it -> minji doesn’t give her a chance to explain etc. both of them don’t do many things in the relationship. yn is hurt, definitely but will she go back to minji if she came begging on her knees? absolutely.

while i agree with you that i would never go back to someone that treated me that way, i can’t say that for certain. the premises during their breakup was that yn and minjeong were dating, which led to yn getting hate comments and death threats like any idol couple does. if i were yn and i saw these comments, wouldn’t i have a desperate need to be loved? and who else to love me other than my ex-girlfriend? if she did it before she could do it again, right? maybe you can relate to yn, maybe you think she’s stupid. maybe you hate minji, maybe you sympathise with her. attention’s storyline will not change based on the comments i receive from you guys. it’s like seeing your friend in a toxic relationship. you can’t control the outcome.

[majorproblems77]

Festival of Light - Skyloftian New Year

I had some interest so here it is! Now I cant draw to save my life so this is very much a wall of text. That's why I've got a read more for you :)

What is it?

The Festival of Light, or Skyloftian New Year's, is an event that takes place around the longest day of the year. (summer solstice for us. - So June time But in our case the skyloftian calendar begins here.)

What it's for?

It's the celebration of the year thats past, as well as looking to the year ahead. The skyloftians do this to remember where they've come from and where they are yet to go.

What happens on the main day? (Run down)

Loftwing riders 'bring the sun' from beyond the horizon. Rituals are performed by not only the riders but the townsfolk too. There are skyloftian dances, and a huge feat to celebrate the coming of the sun.

Skyloftians are expected to stay awake for the duration of the entire celebration. (The 24 hours after the riders leave). Families create lanterns to decorate their houses and the town with food for the feast that feeds the whole town.

After the riders have left is a moment of reflection, with gentle music to remember the year that's gone by.

When the riders arrive, the feast is had and as the sun continues to rise toasts and wishes for the new year are had.

Sky's place in the festival

Sky has performed in every part of the festival, his most noteworthy being the flight path the year of demise defeat. (As you can imagine that went down a treat with Zelda, who tried to fight the result of the choosing of Sky right after his journey. But Sky insisted on performing the flight.)

He was granted the green harness and it was decorated with the exploits of his journey, with feathers from Zelda, Groose and the headmaster. (Though almost everyone in Skyloft offered a feather which Sky made into a separate sash which he wore the day of the flight.)

Sky performs in the flight of tomorrow at least once while with the chain, but is exempt from being chosen for the sun flight due to this adventure he is on.

More detail about the stages of the festival are below. Including preparation stages, As the stages begin almost six months before close to the shortest day of the year.

Six months before

Day of Free Spirits (Winter Solstice festival) - I'll happily talk about this one too but the important part is this.

On the day of free spirits, all suitable Loftwing riders (over the age of 18) are chosen to select a box. Three of The boxes contain a blank night harness while the others contain normal loftwing harnesses.

The three-night harness riders are those chosen three riders for the Festival of Light. And must begin preparations with their loftwing to prepare them for the sun flight.

The harnesses are, Red, Green and Blue. (The green one is recent)

(To allow for fairness, the one's who flew in the year before are not given a box - due to being the ones to prepare the boxes)

Six month time span before festival - night flight training

Over the six months, these three riders are given night-time loftwing flight training, (even experienced riders are given this.) They often take up nightshift above Skyloft to get themselves and their loftwings used to flying for extended periods of time.

During this training, the riders hand off the night harnesses they were given to family and friends. To decorate the harnesses with the stories from the person from the year.

Key items added to the harnesses are loftwing feathers from the flier's closest relatives. They are often embroidered with names of loved ones, key events ect etc.

Harnesses are not given back to the riders until a week before the celebration is set to begin so exploits are added to the harness until this point.

(So, For example, Skyward sword Link, (Sky, because this spanned from an LU fanfic) was handed one of the harness boxes the celebration following his defeat of demise. So his harness was decorated with the tales of his adventure to defeat the demon king.)

During this time they also practice the flight path a few times.

Three months before the festival - Ceremonial outfits

Sun Riders are fitted for their ceremonial outfits. these are knighthood outfits based on the colour of the harness they received.

What's key about these outfits is that they are imbued with golden thread, in skyloftian terms this is an indication of the goddess's blessing over the garments to protect them from the darkness as they bring the light.

I see them as more, refined Knight Academy outfits. Embroidery often includes loftwings and the sun.

Three months before the festival - The secondary flyers

At this time, volunteers are chosen to perform the Dance of Tomorrow, A flight 'performance' performed after the main flight team returns to the skyloftian settlement.

This dance is a set performance that the skyloftians have been performing for generations. It's designed to depict the passage of time from the past ( the flyers grabbing the sun) To the future.

Week before festival - lanterns and feast preperations

Skyloftian families create lanterns, each house has three decorating their doors and then they make several more to string across the town.

Each one is decorated with family memories, loved ones key life events etc. (Normally parents and children will make separately but this differs from family to family)

The Knight Academy creates one per student to decorate the halls with. (Apart from the flight riders, theirs are made for them)

This is also the time to begin preparations for the feast. Each family creates a dish for the collective town to share. Could be food, drinks etc.

These are agreed upon amongst the community. So there's not a bunch of pumpkin pie/ soup.

Day before festival

Tables and lanterns are set up, with the main grounds for celebration, the riders are given time to tack up their loftwings with the ceremonial harnesses to check they fit etc.

Riders are given their favourite foods and packs for the journey. As the trip is a long one, filling water skins and food packs etc.

Departure (24 hour period of wakefulness begins)

The riders are sent in the late hours of the night before. With the whole town sending them off with quiet goodbyes.

The final thing said to the flyers before they depart is

"May you bring Hylia's light on the back of your loftwing's"

Reflection

During the dark of the night while the flyers are away, the skyloftian people undergo a period of reflection. Its a quiet time for the normally bustling town, the light of the lanterns the only light permitted over the few hours the flyers are away.

Quiet conversations occur and set up for the dance of memories. A slow dance with little music used to remember the times in the year that are harder. And how they persevered through it.

Dance of memories -slow

A slow dance, with no music to begin with. Used to reflect. Various members of the town perform this dance, depending on the events over the year.

Arrival

The riders arrive over the horision with the sunrise behind them. And the music then begins again. Begining with the harp more instruments enter as the riders get nearer and nearer before they land back with the town. The sun risen behind them.

Those performing the dance of tomorrow then mount up and begin their flight.

Dance of Tommrow - upbeat

The Dance of Tomorrow is a flight which shows the past changes to the future, it is a dance that has been done in skyloft for generations and requires at least three riders. It is performed to upbeat music by the people on the ground while the riders of the sun flight are allowed time to rest before the feast.

Feast

The feast lasts the remainder of the day, with singing and dancing as the skyloftians celebrate the first day of the year. Before taking the second day to sleep.

I hope you liked it! :D

Please feel free to ask my questions I will happily answer them.

Tagging people who showed interest, @vaathnaos, @fortheloveofhylia

[accio-victuuri]

there are a lot bits and pieces still going around and being discussed about the hengdian clownery. personally, the most interesting is the fact that where wyb is supposed to be is 15 minutes away to where xz is staying in hengdian — and the timeline we are now piecing together. 🧩

where wyb was supposed to be is not actually inside “hengdian world studios” but as good as. to those who are confused because what people are posting is that douyin has him located in “dongyang” last 2/18 and allegedly last 2/2. well, this information below may explain why:

XZ is staying at Radisson Hotel which is where WYB also stayed when he did LOF and Luoyang. XZ used it too when he was filming YGY and this filming time was when an AUX appliance ( endorsed by WYB ) was found sent to the hotel. So you can say that they are familiar with this place so if there is somewhere to meet then this is their best bet. I’m pretty sure this place is discreet and employees may be given NDAs by companies that have their talents staying there. In this case, a VIP client like Xiao Zhan will not be there and continue to do so without specific arrangements done for him.

there is also a comment from someone who is familiar with Hengdian, that this hotel is close to the expressway, like 3-5 mins away. so it is convenient if you need to move around. we don’t really know anything about WYB’s movie or whatever project he is doing, but seeing this, it’s most likely in Zhejiang. this makes sense cause when the news about the location was out, others tested it and wyb was no longer 7km away but 30km. meaning he has left the hotel and posted on douyin on his way back to work. this is a classic meeting up on their part when their locations are close.

2/2 - WYB’s douyin IP is turned off. This only means his IP will not be visible in his profile, but his location can still be tracked when he posts something ( allegedly ). So it could be because he went to HD or they have plans of meeting up so it’s best to be safe.

2/5 - XZ went to Hangzhou to film his performance for BRTV spring festival gala. XZS shared a behind the scenes of that and one thing cpfs noticed was a particular suitcase. the comment was hilarious actually cause the fan was asking why the suitcase was so old and beat up 😂😂😂

turns out, this looks really similar to a suitcase wyb used back in 2016. it makes sense that it’s beat up and covered in different things now. i know that wyb is not the only person who can have this suitcase but this is just how cpns go. 🤷🏻‍♀️

my clown mind also likes the idea of wyb being there. it’s not as notorious as hengdian world studios with all the paparazzi. the place xz shot this at is pretty lowkey, so wyb can blend in if he visits.

2/9 - GG posted a selfie which has it’s variety of cpn speculations on it’s own. however, looking at it with what we have now — this makes more sense now:

the second photo shared by xz is really a clue. the ybo art was also so focused on how the ornament was placed. maybe yibo was the one who placed that? and it’s why xz was so fixated. ☺️

and so they were both quiet for the duration of the holidays. xz breaking that with the 5th day for the god of wealth — which is a stock video. i don’t fault him for that tho, he is free to relax.

2/13 - WYB has added some love songs to his qq playlist and the subjects of it : “accompanying is the longest love confession” and being happy despite of a cloudy day? It could be he is missing XZ, especially that Valentines Day is the next day. Maybe he traveled to closer to XZ on 2/14. Take note that XZ is continuously working on the drama, he only had a few days completely off.

2/17 - XZS posted a series of photos that some of his solo fans said is different from what was shared last year. It can be they couldn’t do any new materials because XZ was busy with work + WYB is there. Who knows when they will be able to spend this time together again. I like the idea of their staff respecting their time alone together. They both deserve it 🤎

WHICH LEADS US TO 2/18 when the whole wyb in hengdian issue came up. ⭕️

This may be expanded once we get more clues but this is what we have so far.

-END.

[freefromthecocoon]

You know me, but not well at all, though we've talked some, here & there since we've both been in this fandom for a very long time. As the main show was ending, I was very involved in & vocal about keeping positive, the excitement in regards to(what was to become) TBOC, & trying to light up Twitter to drum up excitement for it.

Then we got the news about Melissa not being involved & I tried to hang tough for a few months, pouring myself into hashtags & tweets about Mel.

I ultimately had to take a huge step back from the fandom, basically disappearing for the first time in(what had been) 10yrs. Not because of being disappointed with the show, but because your assessment of a certain voice in this fandom is correct. That person became so seemingly compulsive in their negativity that I couldn't take it. It was uncomfortable. When trying to point out silver linings, solutions, & disengagement with negative voices within our own fandom, I felt met with what amounted to presumed conspiracy & frustration at choosing high ground. I genuinely appreciated this person's analysis of the show up to that point, but between them & another person they communicated with regularly who gave them "industry tips", I felt like I was suffocating. Something that I loved(but like the rest of us, was dissatisfied with & frustrated by very often for an entire decade) so much was becoming a burden to endure.

I began questioning whether I even wanted canon to happen anymore, let alone Mel being bright back into the project because any time I saw Norman, I could only think of what awful assumed things had been said about him purposely going out of his way to ruin Mel's chance at being in the show.

My opinion, in as far as the billing situation goes, is as follows(not that it was asked for):

I share their opinion that I'd have preferred to see their names side by side, wholeheartedly. It would have more visually satisfying. However, I think we all know that despite the show's main title carrying his character's name, that they're both billed as the stars, whether her name is following his or not.

Andy's name was the first to appear in the credits for the duration of his run on the main show, despite us all knowing that in the show's prime, Norman was the fan favorite & was likely bringing in more money than Andy.

Another example of "order doesn't dictate billing" is, & excuse me for showing my age with this, Anthony Edwards was billed first in the opening credits for ER for years despite George Clooney & Noah Wylie being their big stars/cash-cows at the height of it's popularity.

Tl;Dr- My opinion is it is OBVIOUSLY both Norman AND Melissa's show now. And I'm going to choose to be positive again.

Hello Anon and welcome back. I feel that your last statement in your ask is not opinion, but fact. It is both Melissa's AND Norman's show. I also agree with everything you said about the billing, both with TBOC and with the other instances you mentioned. I am glad you brought up ER...yes I am that old too, lol. Several people in attendance of the premiere have commented that the opening credits/animation is beautiful and pays tribute equally to both Carol and Daryl and also to Melissa and Norman.

Watching clips and photos of Melissa over the past few days, I believe that she is incredibly happy with everything. She was completely glowing all weekend.

Now to address the elephant in the room. The negativity in our fandom, which thankfully seems to be dwindling rapidly. I think that part of what enabled the person you mentioned is that for the longest time, there was only rumor and innuendo. AMC handled this poorly from the start. I feel that pretty much everyone agrees about that point.

The frustrating point is that as more and more postive news came out...this person continued to double down with trying to tamp down positivity. I won't belabor the point here, but it became obvious to me and many others, as I am learning, that it was no longer about supporting Melissa, but it was about the negative person in question being right and retaining her perceived power in the fandom.

I too went pretty quiet for a while. But I never lost faith in Melissa or Norman, no matter what negative rumors were being spread about their friendship. (this goes back to the very beginning when the OG show ended and the spinoff changes were initially announced).

"I could only think of what awful assumed things had been said about him purposely going out of his way to ruin Mel's chance at being in the show." This was frustrating to me that so many people seemed ready to assume that Norman was out to get Mel. They have been good friends and colleagues for such a long time. A disagreement is bound to happen from time to time. I knew the idea of a tiff was not out of the realm of possibility. But the innuendo that their friendship was irrevocably broken never entered my mind. Seeing them together at SDCC that year and then seeing pictures of them together on the final day of filming for TWD busted the initial narrative that was presented as TWD filming ended and the announcement of the spinoff changes.

Now I ask you...does this look like a man who is trying to ruin the chance of Mel being in the show?

Does this look like people who can't stand each other? (Photos taken on last day of filming TWD)

(I frequently allow people I am on the outs with to lay their head in lap)

Look, this got a lot lengthier than I intended. Suffice it to say, Anon, I am glad that you are choosing positivity and I am really looking forward to our summer and fall of goodness. We all have earned the happiness we are feeling and we should revel in it!

Caryl on everyone!

[thecoppercompendium]

Current TTRPG Jams

My trawl through itch.io's game jams continues (see this post for my first find). I wanted to highlight a few more currently running TTRPG (or inclusive of TTRPGs) jams, particularly ones that aren't linked to a particular system. I've also chosen jams that don't rank entries, as a personal preference.

Here's the shortlist of what I found, listed in order of how long the jame has left, shortest time to longest:

The 2024 TTRPG Pitch-in Jam!

This jam utilises a bunch of titles/pitches for games as inspiration for those who join. The idea is that you take that title/pitch and make a short TTRPG using it.

Time left (at time of writing): 4 days, 10 hours

Dice Exploder Pregen Jam

This jam asks entrants to create a TTRPG/adjacent game revolving around Pregenerated Characters, that is, characters who are integral to the game itself, such that the game would not work with a different cast. They've provided a bunch of names for characters if you struggle with that kind of thing.

Time left (at time of writing): 4 days, 11 hours

Pride in the Fall Jam!

If you're in the TTRPG space on Tumblr, you've likely already seen this one floating around. @efangamez launched this one, focusing on (and I mean focusing in an incredibly broad sense here) the queer community/experience. For a TTRPG (or other piece of media) to be included, it must involve queerness in some way, be made within the past year, and you must fall under the 2SLGBTQIA+ umbrella. That's it. Go wild.

Time left (at time of writing): 8 days, 10 hours

Wordsy's TTRPG Jam - Autumn 2024

Nice simple set of requirements for this one. Requirement 1 - incorporate the theme of "Autumn". Requirement 2 - be a TTRPG or physical game of some description. Requirement 3 - be made within the jam duration; and lastly Requirement 4 - not be bigoted/discriminatory or use AI. Sounds like a good time!

Time left (at time of writing): 1 month, 5 days, 10 hours

10 Minute TTRPGs Mega Jam

Final jam of this batch, and no need to hurry with this one. For this jam you'll need to jump over to the 10 Minute TTRPGs show on Spotify or YouTube to grab a prompt from one of their episodes. Armed with this prompt, you're ready to go! There's no need for the game to be made in (or played in) 10 minutes, but you can if you want. The only other rules are that it must be a TTRPG, and that it must be free from bigotry - standard stuff.

Time left (at time of writing): 58 years, 9 month, 18 days, 4 hours

And that's the list! I'm sure I'll do this again at some point, but for now, go check the jams out! Make something cool! Find something cool!

[sol-consort]

The ejaculate of an Angara is wildly different and unique to each individual, one’s diet doesn’t have a consequence to their flavour or texture. Assumably this is to help differentiate, recognise and categorise the specific partner for each Anagara.

It was once speculated that it also might vary based on what planet the different Angara grew up on, but this has since been disproven.

Further research on the topic yielded very surprising results, especially on the subject of the unique bio-electrics Angara are known to have.

Angara that have less training and control over their Bio-electrics are known to have more charged ejaculate, which in turn stimulates the receiving partner of the Angara, turning a 10 minute amorous rendezvous into a 42 minutes and 51 seconds love session.

(Affects differ between species.)

Krogan’s are reported to be unaffected.

Salarian’s suffer sudden and often uncontrollable symptoms of light headedness and fatigue.

Turian’s show very noticeable signs which include heavy breathing, repeated grinding of their groin against any available surface and sudden excess of saliva.

Humans follow suit with similar symptoms listed above, though there have been undocumented reports of some humans growing more aggressive in coitus and going into, what their Angara partner called, “a wild frenzy of love and fear that they are unfamiliar with and yet greatly desire to see more of despite the shock.”

(Intern Logan reported that the Anagara were experiencing their first ‘fear boner’)

(…Intern Logan was given unpaid leave for two weeks.)

On the other hand, Angara with more training and control over their Bio-electrics are ‘negate’ that effect if they so choose. Or, they may alter the composition of their ejaculate in slight but nonetheless impressive ways. They may also, with express permission asked three to seven times, stimulate nerves in their partners cortex to help alter the taste to something of their own liking.

Humans have been the only testing group willing to humour or even encourage the idea. Results promising but will obviously be biased.

Three reports of gum flavour, fourteen reports of strawberry jam, nine reports of marshmallow, one report of chocolate and five reports of whipped cream.

Main contributing factor of all test groups, Angaran ejaculate has a very short lived period, ranging from weak to mild intensity, of a gentle numbing sensation on the affected area. Inside and out. The longest duration has reportedly been exactly seven seconds. During this time the area is only very slightly numb to most sensations, except when applied with more of the Angara’s ejaculate. When this happens a ‘shock’ of sorts occurs and sends faint electric pulses across the surface area. The most extreme case was when voluntary tester #22, had her Angaran partner come inside her, causing her to be nearly immediately paralysed from overstimulation.

More testing will be held, further results will be available sometime soon.

I love everything you've just written and blessed my inbox with, we shall have a spring wedding anon.

Krogan's are reported to be unaffected

Of fucking course it's the krogans who are somehow immune to space eels sex. I call bullshit! Those focus groups were flawed and the salarian researchers where very neglectful when conducting the experiment + the krogans bluffed and fudged the reports.

I request—nay demand a new experiment be conducted on neutral grounds with asari reserchers.

Salarian's suffer sudden and often uncontrollable symptoms of light headedness and fatigue.

And preferably for camera security footage to be posted online, or sent to my personal dms, 4k with sound, pretty please.

Turian's show very noticeable signs which include heavy breathing, repeated grinding of their groin against any available surface and sudden excess of saliva.

The angara aren't special; give me a salarian and I'll give you the same results in 5 minutes tops. And that's not the only thing I'll be topping.

I wonder if the metallic plating and high concentration of copper in their bloodstream (which is a better conductor than iron in human blood) amplifies the electric charge of the angara, magnifying the affects and potency of the symptoms.

It's a nice mental image, a big scary turian putting on a pathetic display of desperation, so needy as they grind against the angara, blue tongue almost hanging out of their beak as drool seeps from inbetween their sharp exposed teeth.

I would sell my liver for the chance to see that even once.

Did Jaal ever fantasise about it as he watched Vetra corner you against a wall, playing the role of the reliable yet dominant turian who's making a flustered mess out of this squishy human. Did the idea of getting her to fall on her knees, grinding against the floor below, while you watch with wide eyes—an expression far too innocent for a human who can't get enough of this—ever cross his mind?

Humans follow suit with similar symptoms listed above, though there have been undocumented reports of some humans growing more aggressive in coitus and going into, what their Angara partner called, "'a wild frenzy of love and fear that they are unfamiliar with and yet greatly desire to see more of despite the shock."

Human/turian/angara threesomes must go wild. Human enablers create unstoppable sadistic angaras.

Intern Logan is braver than the entire Alliance navy.

I mean, shock play/electric stimulation is already a thing, it has its own category on porn sites. So is it really a shock to anyone (haha) when the humans—who have the fear/lust wires crossed over in their brains—end up going into a frenzy over this discovery.

Oh, the mountains of depravity we could climb, just think of the potential of angara sex. The potential anon the potential! A cow bursting at the seams awaiting to be milked!

It starts small. Your angaran partner can't help but let a zap or two slip by as the wave of climax washes over them. Unaware of the human mind's greatest use, looking for patterns. Skip a few weeks ahead—the minimum required time to build a stable habit—and now your body has been conditioned into association electric shock with sexual pleasure! And not any sexual pleasure, but the thrill of bringing your partner to climax, the ego boost of having them moan your name through broken whimpers as the release overcomes them completely.

Sorrounded by advanced technology buzzing with electric energy, it's no wonder why your sexual libido seems to skyrocket overnight.

It's a feeling like no other, the pain so sharp when it happens, every muscle contracting by itself without your brain signal, the jump your body does as you feel the electricity soar through you, leaving you trembling in disbelief, adrenaline forced to flood your brain that's unsure of what just happens, sounding the fight or flight alarm just in case.

Now you're left with all of this excess energy, and a very fuckable angara below you in bed. A fear boner is the least of their concerns when you're done with them, you feel possessed as your body moves on its own, trembling from anticipation, lips and teeth crashing into their own as you shove their still-sensetive cock back inside you, using their cum as lube.

You'll ride their soul out of their body. you'll make them breed you time after time after time like it's your only purpose in life.

Your words are gibberish to them, human euphemism and prose they barely understand. Your movement is snappy and sudden, powerful thrusts, animalistic manners, and lust glazed eyes.

Each orgasm you milk out of them feels like a little death, leaves them gasping for air while grasping your hips to slow you down to no avail.

They may also, with express permission asked three to seven times, stimulate nerves in their partners cortex to help alter the taste to something of their own liking.

Angara power play where they randomly put their hand on the nape of your neck in public, let you the electricity travelling from their fingertips into your body, simulating the last taste you've experienced this morning, you on your knees with a mouthful of cum.

omfg who said that? Did you see that? A gnome running around spewing filth or something huh... weird.

On a more sweet note, imagine the 3am craving conundrums this would solve. You shake your angaran partner awake in the middle of the night because you really want an oreo mcflurry, so may they please make you feel like you're tasting one with their weird electric magic so you can sleep happy?

It would help with taking sour tasting medicine, just a little comforting illusions to make life a little less miserable. A small relief that feels priceless in the moment.

It could also mean that kissing them could taste like anything you desire if they put extra effort into it. Cotton candy flavoured kisses, chocolate tasting lips, the taste of strawberry milk as their tongue explores your mouth. Giving their lips small pecks and kitten licks like you're lapping up ice cream, it sure tastes the same.