#or maybe im projecting a little who knows
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dandysworldhcs Ā· 2 days ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/dandysworldhcs/773950154878468096/every-main-has-some-kind-of-magic-its-just-more?source=share
holy shit this is a great hc.
Heres my two cents on this take:
Hear me out, what if their power thingy correlated to the stat they had 5 stars in, as well as taking their ability into play.
Astro: He has his 5 star stealth, and ability gives out stamina. Im thinking his magic moreso acts like gifts in disguise. A la nova effect (where something bad turns out to lead to something good).
His magic gifts stamina, which may seem pretty worthless to the average toons, but can definitely help those who are low.
Shelly: She has a 5 star skill check + her ability gives out extraction speed. I do like the idea given of making other joyous, but what if.. Her magic is one of those abilities that seem useless, but truly warrants success.
She gives you a bit more energy to make it through the day, or maybe she grants you a bit more motivation to work on a project. Just that little bit that makes it count. Who knows, maybe it stacks!
Vee: She has 5 star extraction speed, plus her ability to scan every floor. Now hear me out here, what if Vee was magical in the way magic is considered the norm in fantastical worlds. She does warrant magic, but not in the way you think.
Think of how science is basically earth's magic. She's sort of like that, but in a technilogical way. She's all the new tech of the age, she can hack, she can scan her surroundings, she's way past her time.
Sprout: He has 5 star stamina, along with his ability to heal people. Easy exit to this; healing magic. I wanna find a way to explore more possibilities on it though.
His stamina helps with making more pastries, but he still has care and precision (Bringing in the anon who mentioned how cosmo + sprout have small skill checks because of how precise they are). All works together to aid him in his hospitality.
Now, Anon mentions plant magic which I do find quite fun. I know plants and herbs have been commonly used as medicines and such, so what if Sprout's plant magic grows primarily medicinal herbs? I think that'd be kinda funky.
holy FUCK thats a lot of yap.. uhh.. for ease of tagging purposes: all mains besides dandy + pebble are mentioned. umm... idk
This was an amazing read oh my god????
love the yapā¤ļø
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thoughtblown Ā· 2 days ago
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I donā€™t know what I was expecting , but it wasnā€™t that. I was definitely laughing at first and then I told my husband I needed to shut down for the rest of the evening , I joined two live streams and just heard everyone talk about it and vent., it helped a lot. Yesterdayā€™s news was definitely hard to watch and take in but I think weā€™re all in support of each other and thatā€™s always a win. Things seem weird right now but I havenā€™t changed my mind. I still want the Luke and Nic from the WT together, we saw what we saw and I stand by it. I donā€™t feel lied to or betrayed but maybe a little heartbroken but I blame myself for it no one else. No one ever confirmed anything but I was sure that Antonia was out of the picture and I really wanted to believe Nic and Luke where together but it was still speculation because it hadnt been confirmed. As of now and always, Nic and Jake have a besties relationship. (Watch me be wrong haha! Please God, No!) and Luke and Antoniaā€¦ idk, this is probably not the right time for me to really make a decision on that things are still too fresh on my mind.
The last couple events leading up to yesterday have made everything so confusing so Iā€™m gonna trust my gut and just take a step back from following Luke so closely. What I mean by that is that Iā€™ll continue to support him in his projects and on his nominations when/if they come up but I wonā€™t have a notification alert me when he posts something. Iā€™ll still be involved and updated because of the people I follow and the discords Iā€™m in but I wonā€™t be anxious to get a post and then be disappointed, to me, because of the type of person I am, that just leads to heartbreak. Iā€™ve always been a bigger fan of Nicola, she is a bright light that one canā€™t help but attracted to and how she chooses to use her platform to help people is admirable. Also for someone who feels like sheā€™s too old to follow her dreams, like myself, sheā€™s a great example of how much that isnā€™t true.
Right now im looking forward to attending livestreams and continue to do what we do and see how this love story/ novela develops.
Note to self: Remain respectful to others opinions and take everything with a grain of salt everything is still speculation. Weā€™re all writing our own narrative and we can choose our own ending.
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trekkele Ā· 10 days ago
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Because he was ā€˜fine.ā€™ Heā€™d always be fine. If Bruce Wayne had a superpower, that was it: the unflagging fact that he survived.
Truer words have ever rarely been spoken. Motherfucker does not know when to quit. Or more like, he doesnā€™t acknowledge or care when he should bc thereā€™s still work to do
I think Bruce is secretly mad about it. Not in a ā€œlet me dieā€ way but in a ā€œwhy cant i fucking restā€ way. Heā€™s accepted that Gotham literally wont let him die, but at this point like three months underground sounds nice. Until such a time though, he will (unfortunately) keep going
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fogwitchoftheevermore Ā· 3 months ago
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I'm slowly making my way through a new project- editing the entirety of the album PUNCH by Autoheart to the Life Series.
I was originally planning to post all of the edits in order of the songs on the album, but I instead made the Lent one first and am too excited to keep it in my drafts any longer while I work on the first four songs of the album (especially since we're coming up on finals seasons and the amount of time I'll have to work on these is gonna plummet so fast). So instead, I'll be posting them as I make them and make a masterpost of them all in order at the end.
That being said, I hope you enjoy this! I'm really proud of it and a lot of work went into it.
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ghostofsnails Ā· 30 days ago
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so did you guys know theres this character called tristan vik disventure camp and
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#disventure camp#disventure camp fanart#tristan vik#disventure camp tristan#ghostofsnails#my art#It would be SO tedious to post all of these separately but to be honest ive been dead for so long that i think its just funnier like this#like. yeah. just in case you guys have been wondering what i've been up to.#I have like 2 more i think but i'll give them their own post so i can explain them#ive never hyperfixated on a character like this in my entire life. usually a character hyperfix is super intense and lasts like 2ish weeks.#GUYS ITS BEEN 2+ MONTHS. AND I STILL CANT THINK ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOTH NONBINARY SILLY PERSON#actually fuck you can i write an essay in tags about why i love them. this is tumblr. and whose even gonna read this anyways. fukit we ball#i followed dc kinda casually as a guilty pleasure for a while but i was instantly drawn to tristan when the designs for the s4 cast dropped#i was like You're telling me there's a GOTH who is UPBEAT and isnt designed like a flawless elf TWINK and is NONBINARY? ME FR????#LIKE OHH THE GOTH NB GETS TO LOOK A LITTLE WEIRD. THEY GET TO BE UNCONVENTIONAL. my aesthetic attraction to them goes crazy. vampire style.#i remember when they got revealed people redesigned them to look more generically pretty & it PAINED ME bc it missed the point SO. BADLY.#ik some people find them boring also & even tho i disagree i can see it if u dont rlly care abt alt stuff. but for me the fact theyre so#kind & upbeat & extroverted WHILE being a SUBCULTURAL GOTH is the draw bc while i do get a kick out of the exaggerated depressed goth#stereotype - its not exactly true to life and so seeing a character that looks and acts like me and real goths makes feel so seen and happy#they also capture my desire to have goth friends SO BADLY im projecting on them SO HARD. They are such top tier friend material you guys...#AND THEYRE A FASHION DESIGNER WHICH FEELS SO IN THEME WITH BEING GOTH THAT IT MAKES ME SO JOYOUS AND CRAZY.#its all so funny because im 100x more excited about getting good goth rep than nonbinary rep LMFAOOO but them being nb is SO important too#Not to mention their voice actor is FANTASTIC and elevates them SOOO MUCH. Also the amount the va is obsessed with them fed my obsession -#sooo insanely you guys.... i feed off of other peoples emotional attachments. AND THEIR ACTING FOR TRIS ADDS SO MUCH DEPTH TO THEIR#CHARACTER IF YOU LOOK FOR IT. I COULD LITERALLY WRITE ESSAYS ABOUT TRISTAN YOU GUYS. IM NOT INSANE.#god you guys this is the first time ive ever had a genuine ā€œi feel seenā€ feeling from a fictional character I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE NOW.#i LOVE NONBINARY PEOPLE EXPRESSING THEMSELVES. I LOVE HOW QUEERNESS AND GOTH CULTURE INTERSECTS AND HOW THATS REPRESENTED IN TRISTAN#THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME. AND I KNOW THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE. WHICH JUST MAKES THEM MEAN EVEN MORE TO ME. I LOVE LIFE.#its an endless feedback loop i fear. im trapped in it & loving every second. i will be drawing them until i am in my grave & maybe after.
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lichtbrenger Ā· 7 months ago
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charlie and empathy
Iā€™ve seen some thoughts about Charlie floating around (always love to read them, everyone has unique thoughts, namaste šŸ™) and there seems to be a lot of discussion about Charlie having little actual empathy for the people around her and I donā€™t know if that is a fair assessment based on what weā€™ve been shown so far.
Long one so Iā€™m putting it in the read more <3
The idea that Charlie has strong feelings of sympathy without feeling empathy kind of befuddles me, because the jury's still out on what sympathy actually is when compared to empathy. The most intuitive answer would be to separate them by saying sympathy is feeling for someone and empathy is feeling with someone. I wrote out a whole thing about this (that empathy does not directly motivate helping behavior like sympathy does and that empathy can lead to personal distress (a self-oriented reaction of distress to anotherā€™s suffering)) BUT I donā€™t think thatā€™s the point I want to make here šŸ˜ø hihi. So Iā€™m solely going to focus on the thought that Charlie has low empathy.
If we look at Charlie and the way she expresses empathy (which, if psychometrically sound is seen as multifaceted in nature; usually cognitive, affective and somatic (sliding scales referred to as CASES)) the only thing she seems to be lacking is cognitive empathy.
Cognitive empathy allows us to understand and interpret emotions more analytically. This is sometimes also called empathic accuracy.
Cognitive empathy is more like a skill, a skill Charlie never got to work on. Charlie has lived her whole life in uhm, hell, where people donā€™t respond well to genuine feelings of empathy/sympathy from others. Charlie has tried and failed again and again in reaching out to people, and these experiences havenā€™t provided her with a reason why. A lot of people point to the Angel Dust Situation as a moment where Charlie shows that sheā€™s not empathetic, but I donā€™t actually think thatā€™s whatā€™s going on there. Charlie seems to have a lot of empathy for Angel is this episode, she is however completely unequipped. Everything takes her by surprise, her emotions are intense and she doesnā€™t understand the stakes of Angelā€™s situation when she first tries to help. This doesnā€™t means sheā€™s unempathetic, this means sheā€™s in over her head. She doesnā€™t have a lot of experience with people actually wanting/ needing her help and she hasnā€™t had any experience in Angelā€™s scene. She fumbles, but a lack of empathy isnā€™t the issue. Her feelings arenā€™t wrong in these very complicated moments. Ā 
Iā€™ve also seen people discuss Charlie's relationship with Vaggie and with that I feel like people forget that Charlie knew nothing about Vaggieā€™s life before her until the meeting in heaven. We donā€™t know what Vaggie told her, but I doubt she told Charlie about her trauma or hangups surrounding coming down every year to slaughter her people. Charlie has no real reason to think Vaggie isnā€™t her equal, her partner, capable of handling the same things she does especially since thatā€™s probably exactly what Vaggie wants her to think. Charlie trusts her and doesnā€™t have a reason to think sheā€™s not being forthcoming. Again, naivete, maybe; a lack of empathy, I donā€™t think so. I also think that, while we as the viewer may recover quite quickly from the shock of Vaggie being an ex-exorcist, Charlie is allowed to give it a little more time. Sheā€™s been lied to (in quite a big way) by the one person who has stood by her and she trusted unconditionally. Sheā€™s known her for years (I assume) and there are certain patterns of thought and behavior that just wear into a relationship, and you canā€™t expect someone to snap out of that all of the sudden. Charlie realizing Vaggie has her own specific demons and what that entails for their relationship is going to take time, I think it would take time for anyone.
Tldr; I donā€™t think Charlie suffers from a lack of empathy, she suffers from a lack of practice and positive experiences, mostly. Sheā€™s ill equipped in some instances, and purposefully left in the dark in others.
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skitskatdacat63 Ā· 1 year ago
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Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)
- explanation & w/o text:
Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!
First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.
Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.
Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.
Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.
About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.
I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")
I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.
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#ah well this was certainly a project....#rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse#this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :)#i think i def like the first one the best#it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days#like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing#but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it#i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well.#generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference#like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want#ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs#and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic#basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!!#there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari#but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari#and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m#a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him#so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh)#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.#vettonso#bond au
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ratatatastic Ā· 2 months ago
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congrats to mr "the worst is ekky (to sit next to). i like sitting next to gustav (because hes quiet)" not giving up on his principles despite the fact mr worst to sit next to is velcroed to mr quiet so really it cancels out
#whatever polycule is forming here is deeply fascinating#im sorry swaggy will never give up sitting next to forsy and its terribly funny to me#forsy you have too men. one with the constitution of a puppy. the other of a freightened deer. on your arms.#something about a metaphor about a pup being trained to be a hunting dog who keeps nipping at the poor little doe whos a little too friendly#sorry i do have to animal metaphor my way around here#i know forsy is adonis but walk with me#adonis lover of apollo. artemis twin of apollo. HUNTING DOGS. AND STAG. AND ALSO-#sorry ill be normal now#where was i?#something about your friends who are together start making out heavily next to you on the couch and you just kinda have to pretend#youre chill with it but youre not and youre too awkward to get up from the couch because then thatll signal youre actually a little#interested and we have to be nonchalant about your two hot friends who youve kinda had an eye on for a while and they become hotter together#and its a little weird and maybe you kinda want to be their third??? patent pending but somehow you end up in a bed with them as they cuddle#and youre just kinda there because they refused to let you sleep on the floor because no come up!!! if you dont we'll join you on the floor!#which is actually worse so you suck it up and try to take up as little space on the bed as possible as they all start getting ready for bed#and like how the fuck did you end up here this was supposed to be like a normal hangout (it is you are just being weird about it)#and then the next morning you just kinda have to pretend you slept fine#despite the fact you were hyperaware of what they were doing next to you and you could not sleep at all actually#sorry am i projecting? well anyways
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yourlocalbug Ā· 28 days ago
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Its year of the snake u know ehat that means
Beams my kiyo ownimg and slowly getting attached to a pet snake hc at you at 100 mph
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icewindandboringhorror Ā· 1 year ago
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I have found a beautiful perfect humble rock specimen that is light yellow with a weird dark yellowy brown lining, somewhat resembling a chunk of smoked gouda cheese... effervescent
#I am still very into trash collecting at the moment and even went out and got one of those grabby sticks for cheap and a little#bucket I can carry around and put trash in. so I am going on walks in nature a bit more (not really to enjoy nature but more to play the#very fun Real Life Hidden Object Point And Click Game that is 'hunt for bottle caps and cans' .. but eh.. whatever gets me out of the#house lol).. anyway.. some nature places near water will have cool rocks#Which I know you're not supposed to take them and I MOSTLY dont.. but every once in a while it's like... when else will I ever find a#gouda rock... I have cleaned up 4 buckets of trash today.. I have helped the environment.. mayhaps.. i could take a One Single Rocke as a#treate... ANYWAY. but yeah. I don't know the names of rocks but there's a rock that's a matte muted marigold yellow sort of#color and I call them 'cheese rock'. I'm pretty sure this one is of the 'cheese rock' species but it just has weird brown coloration#like maybe it got stained or something on one side of it. Most of the other cheese rocks have no markings. though sometimes there will be a#auburn reddish sort of hue on a corner or something.. hrmm.. curious. I also got a Beginner's Hobby rock tumbler and some supplies#so I might try polishing some of the rocks from my enormous rock collection. even though they're all street rocks I picked up from sidewalk#and stuff. I saw a video where someone put random gravel and stuff in a rock tumbler and none of them were Stunning Gems or whatver#but some still turned out cool enough that I would be pleased with the result... OUgh.. I want to post more I need to like do costumes and#sculptures and stuff and be Active On Social Media and think about my Future and Career and how it always benefits artists to keep an#active social media or etc. but I just feel so tired and bad lately. I think the summer heat waves have really exhausted me. I also have#been trying to make new friends + on a weird schedule so I've been socializing and also watching media too much. I notice I always start#to feel this kind of unsettled stress of not making any forward progress in my life if I do that for too long. like 'Okay this week I've#done nothing but meet up with two friends & watch like 10 episodes of tv and only worked on a few projects on the side.. this is HORRIBLE!'#(ppl who follow me here that I talk to on discord: this isn't about you! Im specifically just referencing being tired of introductory talks#with a new round of random strangers during my Friend Hunt. Just clarifying so it couldn't be misinterpreted as vaguepost implying that I'm#secretly bothered by talking to you or etc. lol.. anyway) . Which I know to MOST people 'I talked to a lot of friends and watched some cool#stuff!' sounds like a GOOD relaxing time but.. to me it is not ghhj.. Those are 'external' focuses on things outside myself which bothers#me if not moderated. Like.. i MUST retreat internally to work on my worldbuilding and my own thoughts and etc. at very regular intervals or#it will really start to bear on me too much. Brain Mandated Hermit Isolation lol. Just being too detached from my world and stuff for#too long feels increasingly bad. PLUS. every day I don't make tangible progress towards my goals is a day wasted that I could have been#investing in my future by working on novels/games/sculptures/actual career relevant stuff. Not even in a Capitalism way i just genuinely#enjoy Completing Tasks & feel miserable if I don't for too long. EVEN the media I'm watching I turn into A Task since I rank in a detailed#google doc list after viewing lol.. Like EW movie too boring on it's own. NEED to turn it into something I can categorize and analyze ghghj#LOVE to make things more complicated than they need to be. like YAAAY organizational tasks! yaay meticulous sorting!! BOO ''mindless fun''!
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tanicus-caesareth Ā· 9 months ago
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guarana drama, damage control
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gilfrespecter Ā· 4 months ago
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Listening to coinstar by the growlers and thinking about mel so hard I get nauseous
Ridiculous stream of conscious in the tags apologies but not really
#it speaks#white woman moment#its really funny bc like. its very much a her to jfk song#(everyones favorite problematic short king)#but she looks at him with uhhh#like heres this kid(hes 28) standing on the precipice o what she had been all those years ago#but he KNOWS it she didnt know she thought she had mold poisoning from her shitty apartment until she died#and she is projecting so much onto him. which is part of why she doesn't respect him at all#'im a sucker just like you'#its also funny bc like. it is Too Late for Phoenix.also its scary that theyre hungry bc as far as she knows death avatars arent supposed 2 b#but also theyre the first one shes met. and Phoenix is kind of just scary in general.#but being around those two is like. almost flashbacky(jfk also reminds her alot of her ex aroun that age tho audreys dad was Worse)#(she never met him but heard enough stories about the guy and i mean. he fed her to the hunt on purpose.#i dont think jorges dad wanted what was going to happen to happen)#part of why she texted her so fast tbh. not that they hadnt talked at all since the divorce.#i thinj they talked. not alot bc mel WAS in europe and international data rates pre smartphone age oof ouch#and also like. they did irrevocably harm eachother physically and mentally but they do both careeeeee#tho. i do not think melissa wouldve ever dropped everything to go help audrey like audrey would and did for her.#(girl who runs away from her problems x girl who is a dog)#auuughhhhhh#she really is my chew toy.#i also think alot about her sky mafia years but those r fun and sexy little secrets for me#as much as i love Basil's motw campaign i do with it was easier to unentangle her from tma lore.#bc like. normal vampire works well but it loses so much of the flavor. various sea beasts keep the flavor but loose the morality.#for pathfinder if i were to redo her id go with storm oracle and then spec into kineticist. which does work Ok I Guess.#but like. even that its still not what i want#one scene that probably would've never happened in game but i thought ahout if we ever went back to the item storage or maybe a wierd thrift#shop or something was to like. have her come across a violin and pick it up and make it scream horribly. like. really concentrate on making#it make the worst noise imaginable. shes trying to reach that wonderful horrible music avatars mention alot in the earlier seasons#and then realizes everyone else Hates That So Much and jokingly play one of the devil's riffs from tdwdg. tbh i should finally draw that
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saturnniidae Ā· 6 months ago
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Hear me out: hijack Anya's ghost au..
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the-acid-pear Ā· 8 months ago
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Mental illness is insane I'm just having dinner w my father eating this a little too spicy pasta enjoying the Yeowch on my throat and the silence and suddenly I'm like yeah I'd kill myself.
#luly talks#i mean it came from out of nowhere grieving but it's so bizarre#like i just got hit by this very heavy rock in my skull this overwhelming and genuine urge for a second that yeah that'd be ok#that's the correct path to take and there's no physical changes i just kept on chewing on my all too spicy bc he used the wrong condiments#pasta. like sure i was a little zoned out maybe if you paid close attention you'd have seen my eye getting lazy or something but like. thats#it. and i always in zoning out#like this wasn't even an intrusive thought those come out of nowhere and just are echoing chambers of fear and shame#this was a calm resolution like yeah. that's the way to go alright.#y'know kind of unrelated but i always wish i had someone to talk about some mental health things i cant w my therapist#more on the speculative diagnosis thing. if you dont know what i mean shame on you for not keeping up with the Luly lore /silly#it's really hard being neurodivergent and im not talking about autism rn that i can manage but gestures vaguely its hard when it's#a group project. it's hard when everything is so fuzzy#because sometimes i tell myself i only think of this bc im all day alone and thinking but like#what. am i supposed to be getting non stop stimuli 24/7 least i realize i hsve something in my skull going on?#i blame my mother for that one she always made me ashamed of being sick or whatever acting like it was my fault#like me noticing symptoms was equivalent to me making them real#as if that wasn't just absurd like. the symptoms are here you twat. I'm not placebo effecting myself w shit#even the ppl who do like. the symptoms are real.#aaahhh siiiiigh yet another common L#brain stuff
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mainfaggot Ā· 9 months ago
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just watched challengers at the cinema w my little sister. it was so intense wtf
#i was like grabbing onto my scalp just yanking my hair in the last 5 mins and at the end i yelled (quietly) LOVE WINS!#bc there were only 4 other ppl in the cinema lol#its so fucking stupid on the surface like ok complicated polyamory and also insane obsession with a sport bc that is what makes these people#who they are; as in the sport IS their identity as individuals that's what fills the void that lies underneath skin and bone etc.#blah blah basic shit about messy relationships with the self and romantically with others#but it's also so profound because despite the many obstacles and personality differences. they all love one another and the sport so much.#it's so weird it's twisted in a sense because it's like they only have one another and then obviously tennis (bc tennis is the bridge)#it's very.. codependent#i can't believe my little sister understood like not in a condescending way i cant believe she got it but in a ā€œoh i didnt know you watched#stuff with this much emotion and that you cared enough to critique mediaā€œ since she doesn't usually tell me about what shes watching#and when she does she tells me about sitcoms ..#so yeah it was nice that we watched it together but also kind of weird bc#well surface level: the make out scenes were just us giggling awkwardly#and on a deeper level when i was watching it. i couldn't help but think about how#patrick at some point turned into an observer; he stopped being a part of the art tashi patrick trio (and tennis!) and turned#into a spectator#despite very much still being a fellow player#and then tashi became a spectator of the sport despite very much being absorbed in it all and in love with art (?)#i dont know what else to call it but her need to control him came from a place of some kind of care ... albeit manipulative and self serving#so Patrick and tashi are almost parallel lines if that makes sense#theyre kicked out of ā€œthe clubā€ whatever the club may be (for Patrick he's no longer in the trio) and for Tashi once the trio is long gone#she's no longer a competitor bc of her injury#and then art is just in the middle of it all#and he'd always followed Patrick's lead in the past and then he started thinking for himself until he became so taken by Tashi#and then he just became her little follower#he just wants to be loved and told what to do because he doesn't know how else to live. im projecting? im projecting. anyway!#the ending. god. the ending sums up their whole past dynamic:#patrick is petty. art is irritated. tashi doesn't get their little dynamic. patrick loves art. art is forgiving. tashi loves the sport#(and maybe she loves them both in her own fucked up control freak way)#z.post
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parapsychoiogy Ā· 10 months ago
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turns out the manager i was scared shitless hated me doesnt hate me im just an idiot who doesnt understand social interactions
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