#or maybe im just thinking about it a lot bc the anniversary is coming up but am i projecting????? am i i have jo idea

[wrdn-tabris]

ooooh my god

[gingerjolover]

been in my naomi vibes as of late, would luv to see a smut of naomi for v-day 🎀 possibly involving a lingerie fashion show as you’ve discussed on your page before. luv ur writing 🫶

oh haiiii

so i had this as a whole fic and it.. got deleted

so i shall summarize

RPF smut under da cut, minors gtfo<3 (im so srs)

okay so a long time ago i mentioned that (canonically) naomi calls soft!gf "babydoll" bc of their obsession with buying soft!gf lingerie

and we shall divulge in this however it should be known that naomi did not start buying you lingerie right out the gate okay?

it all started when you and naomi started dating, you didn't uhaul honestly, i feel like naomi is really into their space and environment and it takes a lot of effort for nomi to either move or allow big changes in their space

it starts because naomi bought you a bunch of pajama sets for their apartment

and this just became a thing like naomi would see a cute set online or even on the road and just get it and mail it home for you or whatever

and eventually after a little bit you find out naomi's love for you in lingerie (im thinking it was a lace top and jeans situation that naomi just could not keep it in their pants) and thats when the babydoll thing starts

not the naomi starts off conservatively, but it's really the act of taking it off of you that excites them

but eventually they realize that you find some confidence when they worship you in it so they start to put more effort into what the color is, the type of material, the fit of the set, how easy is it to put on and take off, can the top be worn with jeans in public, and so on and so forth

and this isn't a weekly or even monthly thing, it really is only for special occasions or when naomi wants to spice things up

it's pretty much expected on either of your birthdays, valentines day, and your anniversary to find a big black box with a ribbon tied around it on your bed waiting for you

and maybe because muna has been so busy, naomi hasn't bought any in a while so there's like three or four boxes the night before valentines day

and naomi has the cockiest shit-eating grin on their face, probably in a pair of loose cargos or joggers, a grey crewneck on as they lounge on the bed, hands behind their head

"go on babydoll, show me what ya got," comes out of their mouth, and if you didn't love them sm you'd roll your eyes

and naomi carefully curated the lingerie for valentines this year, like there's a style you really like, a color that compliments your skin, one that is unique and you haven't tried before, and maybe a risky one that naomi didn't know if you'd be interested in

"need help?" naomi would call, moving to sit on the edge of the bed, manspreading with their hands clasped

"no, give me a sec," you'd reply, slipping on the first one

and one by one you'd come out of the bathroom, naomi letting out a low whistle or pretending to faint or fanning themselves, trying to hype you up

they always hold a hand above you, spinning you gently before kissing your hand, rough hands running up and down your sides

naomi is rubbing your hips, groaning softly, "look at you baby doll, goddamn," before pulling you between their legs kissing you softly

naomi ushers you back to the bathroom with a sweet tap on your ass, pushing you softly

but the last one, it's probably a babydoll style but has a bunch of cut outs or is like completely see through

and it's less about the lingerie like i said before, there is something so intimate about this experience for the two of you, both getting some type of boost from it

but this one is like... intensely horny, like you gasp pulling it out of the box bc its almost unholy

and it's probably in a soft pink or dark red or white, one that would compliment your skin tone well (but there's not a ton of fabric to begin with like its mostly frills and sheer)

and you walk out of the bathroom, a tiny bit insecure because it's just SO different than the usual ones

and naomi's reaction is new, its a full jaw drop, absolute shock to the system as naomi literally stutters

there's no witty comment, no annoying whistle or anything, they just stare at you jaw slack

"oh- no, no, don't cover up, get your cute ass over here... holy shit," naomi says, still shocked but noticing your nervousness. and you walk over gently, and even for the room thats literally vibrating in sexual tension and insanely horny energy, naomi just brushes some hair out of your face and cups your cheek, "you look so pretty babydoll," and it's so tender and affectionate you could sob

and honestly, kinda a blur but it takes naomi approximately .5 seconds to rip it off of you before they are buried between your legs

like never ate a meal before/drinking from the fountain of youth shit naomi is literally devouring you

and by the second orgasm (from their tongue alone) naomi's sweating bro, ripping off their crewneck and then laying on the bed, pulling down their pants just enough bc of fucking course they were packing all day in preparation

and look if naomi is using a strap, you're bouncing okay? they call you bunny for a reason

but it's almost frenzied, like you both know what you need to do

small glances and shy smiles are exchanged, both speaking with your eyes to make sure that everything is still good between you both and everything is consensual and chill and feeling good

one of naomi's hands grips your hip as they help guide you down onto the strap, the other rubbing your ass softly

"good job bunny, that's my girl," they whisper, a proud cocky smirk on their face as yours contorts

and naomi is so calm the whole time, letting you move around how you need to so you can get off

right as your about to cum again, naomi has a hand in your hair, bringing your face to theirs

"good job bunny, what do you have to say? hm?" naomi asks, breathy and whispery as your legs shake

"thank you for- the clothes," you mumble, your nose rubbing against theirs sweetly, but your panting as their fingers tug a little harder at the root of your hair

"good job bunny, let go," naomi whispers, letting you release, your face in their neck as they rub your back gently

also naomi is the king of aftercare i said it once i'll say it again

and yes they tore that last set to pieces! what did you expect! you're hot!

[ellieswifie]

matt sturniolo sfw alphabet headcannons

𐙚 head cannons!

authors note: heyy i hope you all enjoy this abc sfw matt headcannon. this is based off this request from @iammattswife. im excited to make a chris sfw too if anyone wants one! thank you for reading enjoy!!!

a- affectionate (how affectionate are they? how do they show this affection?)

knowing already how much matt cares for his family, i swear he’d be so affectionate. he’d just simply do little things like send you cute messages in the morning, or tell you have beautiful and amazing you are, just to remind you that he does care and love you.

b- babies (do they want a family with you? how good around kids are they)

yes! matt would absolutely be an incredible dad. he just seems like he’d be so gentle and loving if you were pregnant with his kids ugh. he also wouldn’t rush the thought of wanting kids with you if you guys were married. he’d sure bring the idea up every once in awhile, but he’s not too pushy about the entire thing. bro if his kids got his blue eyes, i’d be dead.

c- cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how often do they want to cuddle?)

matt would love cuddling. he’d want to cuddle during movies, just laying in bed together, after filming, or even just during a random afternoon. he’s definitely a little spoon, or big spoon when he knows you need to be held, but he’s totally a big teddy bear.

d- dance (do they like to dance with you? are they good at dancing?)

matt is the best dancer. justin’s words, not mine. if you guys are sharing airpods, or have music playing off each others phone or speaker, matt would just love to dance around with you. maybe it’s in his room, or the kitchen, or even in the parking lot after a kate drive. he’s always dancing and is willing to dance with you whenever.

e- effort (how much effort and energy do they put into your relationship? like dates, gift giving, anniversaries, bdays, etc.)

matthew sturniolo puts so much effort into your relationship. he’s making sure you feel love me and comfort all the time, and he spends hours planing dates. okay maybe not hours, but he spends a lot of time thinking on what makes a good date a good date. he doesn’t seem like someone who’d plan big parties or huge dinners, so when it comes to birthday presents or anniversary gifts, he tries to keep it low key and simple, but so meaningful. which i find so sweet.

f- fights (how do they handle fights?)

if you have any short of attitude or a tone towards matt, he’ll probably give you space. he has his mattitudie moments too, and doesn’t necessarily want to anger you more by trying to reason with you, but if something is really bothering you, he’ll definitely just want to talk to you.

if you guys had gotten in a argument about something together, the story would be a little different i feel like. he’d definitely not want to stay up all not pickering about something in, so he’d sleep it off, then immediately talk to you about it in the morning, reasoning with you. matt is so gentle and genuinely looks like he cares, even when he disagrees.

g- gratitude (how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what you/significant other is doing bc for them?)

oh matt tells you he’s so grateful for you everyday. he makes sure your more than aware throughout the day, even if you aren’t exactly with him.

h- hand holding (when/how often do they like to hold hands?)

now we know what matt isn’t super on pda, but if you guys are in public together, he’s always holding your hand. in his pocket, at his side, behind your back, it’s always shuttle but comfortable.

i- insight (how easily can they read you? mood, feelings, tone, etc.)

i feel like matt reads body language easily. so if your like sloppy with your words or talking less, he’d probably ask if your okay because he reads these things.

j- jealousy (do they get jealous? if so, how easily? how do they deal with it?)

i feel like jealousy isn’t a issue in your relationship. matt isn’t like a pussy boyfriend who wines and cry’s when a guy looks at you. he definitely would trust you aren’t that type, and he trusts himself in not cheating. if he does get a rush jealousy of some sort, it’s probably because of some fool.

k- kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they kiss you? where do they liked to be kissed?)

probably amazing. he’ll definitely love forehead kisses and innocent neck kisses. maybe some on your hand or cheeks.

l- love language (what is their love language?)

PHYSICAL TOUCH!!! matt is definitely the type of boyfriend to be touching you all the time. in the car, his hand placed on your knee or thigh. in public, your holding hands. during dinner, his foot is creasing yours under the table. he’s just naturally a physical touch boyfriend.

he’s definitely words of affirmation too.

m- mornings (how are mornings with them?)

lazy, but absolutely perfect. matt seems like he’d wake up early, but i feel like if it’s just you too laying in bed, you guys are laying in bed all morning. just holding each other and talking about cheesy things that need to get off your chest,

n- nicknames (what pet names/nicknames does he move to call you?)

oh matt’s calling you practically everything. babe, baby, beautiful, love, pretty, princess, your name ofc, etc. now he for sure mentioned bubba wubba isn’t on the table, but we know matt he’s lying.

o- open (how open to their feelings are they to you? when did they say they i love you? do they mention everything all at once, or wait to reveal things slowly?)

it would take matt awhile to completely come to his senses that he has someone to talk to. yes he’d be very straight forward how he feels, but it wouldn’t take him immediately realize and say it, he’d for sure need time to open up, but when he does he tells you everything.

p- patience (how patient are they with you? how easily angry do they get?)

matt would be so patience with you. if your having trouble getting something off your chest, he’s holding your hands assuring you

q- quality time (what do they do with quality time with you?)

most likely matt’s cuddling with you in his free time, or doing something crafty. like coloring or building legos, i’ve just got a cheesy feeling he’d do that.

r- rhythm (what songs/song reminds you of them?)

omg if you like taylor swift, you remind him of almost every single song. i know he mentioned taylor swift before, but like i have a feeling he’d just listen to a song you like from her on repeat because it reminds him of you.

if you don’t like taylor which is fine, you probably remind him of a frank ocean song (definitely godspeed or ivy), miguel song ((ALL I WANT IS YOU) love this song omg), or practically any mac miller song.

s- security (how protective are they when of you?)

he’s definitely more protective of you than you are of him. the sturniolo fandom is all over the place and he doesn’t really want his relationship interacting with weird and disrespectful fans. so he’ll try to distance you from car videos and on tour. when you are in a video it’s probably only for a few minutes in a vlog or a short mention.

t- tough guy (how tough are they around you?)

as chris likes to say matt is the tough guy, but when he’s with his s/o i know for a fact his tough guy shell breaks. he’s more like a little baby wanting love and comfort, then a big intense guy.

u- upset (how do they act when their upset/tired? what helps them feel better?)

we’ve all seen matt’s attitude. he can be mean, but he’s not the big bad wolf. he’ll definitely distance himself from you so he’s not getting angry at you for something he did, or even cranky with you. i think

v- vanity (do they care about how much makeup you wear or not? do they constantly care about what you wear?)

matt probably loves when you dress up and will constantly tell you how beautiful you look, but he won’t expect it out of you every day nor does he care what you wear. he wants you to dress comfortable while feeling yourself.

w- wildcard (a random head cannon for character)

weirdo head cannon but head scratches. i’ve got a gut feeling that matthew would absolutely love his girlfriend scratching his head through his hair with her nails. the two of you will be laying on the couch or his bed, him sitting in between your legs while you watch something off his phone and scratch his head. it’ll for sure probably be a stress reliever for him.

x- explicit (nsfw headcannon)

idk.. do you guys want one?

y- yearn (what do they do when they miss you?)

always texting and calling you. he’d probably send silly snap chat vlogs, or gifs to let you know he misses you and can’t wait to talk to you in person again. he also definitely calls you before bed too to wish you good night and to remind you he loves you.

z- zen (what makes them feel comfortable and calm?)

you. and your presence.

[baby-tini]

NO BC NOW THAT IM THINKING ABOUT IT.

Realistically, Kantou, Bonten, and Manila are all likely to have some sort of a weapon with them. But, say that maybe somehow they either don’t have their guns or they somehow agreed on a fair fight…I think that it would genuinely come down to it being a drawl. At the MOST, I think racer has the least chance of winning because unlike the other four, he didn’t exactly stay a gangster. Sure he’s still knowledgeable in fighting but I do think that racing probably takes up most of his time, so he isn’t exactly as sharp on his skills as he used to be. Between the other four, I think it’s between Toman and Kantou. Manila is extremely trigger happy and has the rage to fuel his strength but compared to Toman who has more experience due to being older, he’d be sloppy. Bonten probably could still fight but personally I think In his timeline he’s a little more malnourished and doesn’t actually fight like he would in Kantou or Manila.

Okay I have so many thoughts abr this to share with you BUT it’s my anniversary and my wonderful girlfriend requires my attention so!!! I will be taking my leave.

OMG HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU AND YOUR GF!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! And by all means, you can share any thoughts whenever you want too!!!

I agree with everything you just said tbh, it all makes sense. Street Racer Mikey is very preoccupied with his... street racing, so, he's not worried about fighting and all that, plus he doesn't need too. Most if not all the times Mikey has fought was because he had too. Whether that was too protect his reputation or protect his friends, sure Mikey fights for fun, but most of the time it's for serious reasons, like what happened to Pahs friends, iykyk. I do think Street Racer Mikey can still fight, very well, but I do agree, he's not a kid anymore so he's probably not as sharp when it comes down to it.

With Manila, Kanto and Bonten though? 100% they always have a gun on them, Kanto not as much, but definitely Manila and Bonten. Toman is more a fighting type of guy and not really weaponry, but if he needs too use a gun, he will. I also agree that Manila is very trigger happy and very quick to anger, he's also still very strong, he picked up Takemichi, who's like 125-130ish, and threw him to the floor, no problem. Toman, I can picture, definitely has more experience and is very quick and sharp in combat. Manila is very tunnel-visioned, Kanto is running on dark impulses, so he's extremely dangerous and quick too piss off. Bonten is, like you said, pretty malnourished and very skinny, unlike Toman who has quite a bit of muscle, Bonten doesn't really have any.

I can also see Street Racer Mikey not being as confrontational as his counterparts, don't get me wrong, he'll still fight if he needs too, but he's not as quick too turn to violence, as Kanto, for example. Also the most dangerous thing about Mikey is his dark impulses and Street Racer Mikey doesn't have any, another thing, I'm pretty sure it was said in the anime that Toman\OG Timeline Mikey is the most dangerous because Takemichi never met him, plus he lost Draken, who was the only one that could keep him sane, an anchor for Mikey if you will.

Apologies for my little three paragraph rant, but this idea really has my attention and has me thinking... a lot. Anyway, like I said Happy Anniversary, and thank you for all these juicy, funny little scenarios❤️

[taeraeszn]

can i request zb1 as love languages? thank you so much!

ps i LoVE your writing.. thank you for making my day

zb1 as love languages

hi luv! thank you for requesting <3 tbh i thought this request was very cute when i first saw it and now that i have time to write it, i'm so excited!!!

also thank you for your kind words!! it makes me so happy to know that people love my writings!

warnings: food mentioned but no more from what i saw but pls lmk if there is any!

btw these are all just my thoughts PLS don't attack me if we don't have the same thoughts. these are just what i pulled out from my brain so i apologize if it's similar to what other writers have posted on here.

kim jiwoong - gifts

idk about you guys but i think jiwoong is DEF the guy who'll gift you so many things when you two are dating

like your just heading to a cafe and he's outside waiting with a bouquet in his hands

most of them you don't even ask for, he just offers you them but you can't decline them either since he'll ignore you and hand you them anyways

i also think that for very special occasions like anniversaries and such he'll think carefully of what to give to you then make it the biggest reveal ever

^like maybe a ring or necklace!!

like bro is going all out for you

with every gift he gives, their for a reason, and that's what makes you love him so much <3

yeah i just love jiwoong so much guys <3

rest of the members under the cut!

zhang hao - acts of service

NOBODY CAN DISAGREE WITH ME ON THIS

hao definitely loves giving acts of services that may seem small to others but are actually so thoughtful and considerate

say there's a day where you come home from a long day and the house is literally spotless bc hao offered to clean it, thinking you were mostly likely tired

and this could also be like him helping you with something so you're not struggling alone!!

he's just your little helper and you love it!!

not just that but he'll always talk to you when your feeling down and listen to whatever you have to say and try to make the situatio better

in general, having hao in your life helps everything become so much easier with his presence

and you're always thankful for everything he does <3

sung hanbin - words of affirmation

fun fact this one was the first one i thought of when i saw this request lol

LIKE IT JUST SUITS HIM

and seeing how he originally wanted to be a therapist really shows this

you can just tell he cares about what others have to say and he listens to them with full attention

and same goes for you!! i think everyday he'll remind you of how amazing you are and how much he loves you just because

sometimes he'll even send a text or two reminding you that he loves you deeply

and whenever you come home, he'll remind you that you did well and worked your hardest!!

idk im squealing writing this, ALSO HAPPY EARLY BDAY HANBIN!!!! <3

seok matthew - physical touch

i was pondering between this option and gifts but idk after seeing how affectionate matt is with some of the members i chose this one!

i think matthew just loves hugging you or holding your hand

like in public he will REFUSE to let go of your hand bc he doesn't want to lose you in the crowd

as well, i think matthew would also give you sweet kisses on the forehead and lips, reminding you once again of how much he loves you

idk maybe i'm thinking ahead on this because this is my love language lol

and whenever you two are sitting together he'll just casually rest his hand on your thigh to ensure that he's right there

and though he claims that he wants to be woohyun oppa, he's still your cute little matthew through his physical affection

in the end he's clingy and you love it!!

kim taerae - quality time

i chose this since a lot of the trainees on bp said that taerae would bring his guitar with him and just chill with the trainees

i think he'd also do the same with you!!

like his stay that was supposed to be only twenty minutes ends up becoming 2 hours since he keeps singing songs for you and just wanting to be by your side

and out of the blue he'll just message you and say that he wants to be with you

or he'll just sit on facetime with you for hours on end while studying and not say much, only because he wants you to be with him

you are his favourite person to be with and he will always show that through his quality of time

especially seeing how in the taerae he went to each member's room to see how their doing, idk man that just did things to me

best boy kim taerae

shen ricky - words of affirmation

i was torn between this and acts of service tbh but i think woa suits ricky so well

like hanbin, he'd always remind you of how much you mean to him as a partner and never make you second guess his feelings for you

he's quite literally the perfect boyfriend ever!!

as well, he'll also encourage you to do what you think is right whenever your talking with him and give you great advice for situations

not only that but i believe that ricky would remember small things you mentioned in the past and bring it up again to remind you of how much he actually listens to you

and at night he'd casually slide in a text or voice chat that tells you that he loves you forever and always <3

idk mane ricky is just literal perfection!!

kim gyuvin - physical touch

anyone who says no is lying to themselves

gyuvin LOVES affection especially seeing how he literally adores yujin by touching his face 24/7 and being close with his other members!!

and as your boyfriend, gyuvin would quite literally do the same to you

just always touching your face to kiss you gently

his arms always wrapped around you to keep you near him at all times along with a few sweet hugs

^also he never lets go of your hands

even when your sitting down he'll casually intertwine your fingers together

but you love it sm since it reminds you that gyuvin adores you dearly <3

park gunwook - acts of service

idk about you guys but this just makes total sense to me

as a class president in school, gunwook probably has lots of experience helping others

for you he'd always want to offer a helping hand

you text him that your bored at home and one second later he's at your door with food

or when your sick he takes time off of studying to take care of you despite you telling him that he doesn't have to

even small things such as you saying your thirsty leads to him running to the vending machine to grab you a drink

he goes out of his way to pretty much do everything for you

you always thank him for his help but he plays it off as what every partner should do <3

han yujin - gifts

originally i was thinking another one but after seeing him gift ricky those figurines with the box and matthew with the protein bars, i had to choose this

he genuinely thought out those gifts well which makes me :"")

for you, he'd consider everything he gives you carefully, thinking of what you've been wanting and telling him about

and for each birthday of yours, your always surprised at how thought out each gift is

and the times when you express wanting an item, he goes out to buy it for you right away, packing it nicely for you

i also think his gifts would have a cute note on it!!

he always prioritizes you and rejects your offers to buy him something

i know yujin is still very young so i think this suits him very well

[tau1tvec]

just when i think EA can’t get worse.. a romance ep isn’t even a terrible idea, it brings popular mods to the game + every romantic sim relationship would be expanded in some way, but i think they really dropped the ball. there didn’t even seem to be any improvements on how cheating plays out. i thought maybe w the addition of romantic boundaries coming to bg.. and couples counseling would have been perfect w this. i’m scared the only change will be some description to read under ‘romantic satisfaction’ that can be fixed w a couple interactions. wish sims wouldn’t be able to sleep in the same bed, so one would have to crash on the couch like in ts2. and that romantic interactions wouldn’t work for a long time after. i guess they can still surprise me but im not optimistic. also, only 3 new date types? i could’ve sworn they said something abt anniversary dates at one point.. guess it’s another thing ill have to simulate myself 🤡

That’s really been The Sims 4’s whole thing rlly, is having to kinda imagine everything yourself, which I’m like okay fine, I do it with other games, but I feel like The Sims, or previous ones have always been a kinda marriage of what the game can do on its own ( simulate ), and then what you as the player can think up to either destroy or build off of that, similar to Sim City.

I think the core issue with The Sims 4 however, is its engine, and its development inconsistencies, which tbf it’s been going ten years, longer than any b4 it, so some inconsistencies are expected, but the fact that we got expanded weddings in a GP, and a date pack in an EP and very little else is rlly weird… the fact that our teen sims can go to an actual lot for school, but child sims and college sims can’t is also kinda infuriating. The fact we can have restaurants, and “run” them, but not work in them, is dumb to put it plainly, esp when the dining out system is still broken ( ??? ), yet they’re gonna have a pack about dates that will more often than not take place in a… *checks notes* restaurant?

The couples counseling thing actually would be cool tho, and there’s still a chance they might surprise us with it, but it’d also be weird to have counseling for couples, and not just… single sims.

No wonder modders are making so much money off of fixing and or adding onto this game, bc EA I feel is purely relying on the console audience atp to excuse and condone this “rent wasn’t due” behavior.

[sugar-omi]

If you are interested, can you plz share how you see the Our Life (1+2) characters as DnD classes and races included? 😆⚔️🍃🏹

Im craving Our Life with some medieval whimsical vibes, Baxter dancing with swords, Derek singing with bar goers while MC goes pickpocketing the villains, Cove as a MERMAN living his life like Ariel. So many wonderful thoughts wanted to share ✨️✨️✨️

okay this took so long bc i know nothing abt DnD so i did a bit of research!!! my friends have talked abt DnD and i never understood but knew it was smth cool n involved alot of creativity, but now i just think this is sm cooler <33 anyway im not creative at all rn so im referencing everything from this website im using👍

tags : Fluff, 'Dungeon and Dragons' headcanons + drabbles, cove is the only one w hc's for if you're dating (+ qiu kinda?) i couldn't think of dating hc's for everyone else in this world as well but you could imagine some of the hc's that way

synopsis : DnD races and classes of ol:nf & ol:ba characters.

qiu:

okay I couldn't decide but qiu is half-elven.

(his dad is so whipped for his elf wife<3<3<3)

i can't really think about what class he'd be in, but i think i could see him as a bard

he's the laziest bard though 💀 and thus is mostly a wanderer.

qiu will wait until they're on their last coin and then will go perform

would perform a very good show while MC pickpockets the assholes that were disturbing the bar just a moment ago

otherwise, he just performs for you and his friends.

they'll have/be at a party with all their friends, and will perform some type of magic trick to entertain everyone

qiu will sing you little songs, read you poetry he wrote while watching you sleep that morning<3

for any important dates like birthdays, or anniversary (if you're dating), etc., they'll do a cool magic trick and perform a elven dance that he learned from his mom

tama:

human! BUT. she's a druid

she loves the forest, the forest loves her

maybe a bit of sorcery as well? idk how this works lol

she has a little house in the woods omg

goes foraging and learns lots of sorcery stuff from ren

will show you how to cast cool spells

also you're the first person she comes to show you any new spells she learns!!

you two beat up any bandits/criminals you come across

renee (/darren):

human and like i mentioned in tama's, is a sorcerer

!!! wants to be like her mom in canon right?

i think she's a teacher n teaches young sorcerers/wizards

baxter:

isnt baxter special. just crossovering worlds 💀💀

anyway.. he's an elf! is also rogue...

bringing baxter's issues/trauma into this DnD au as well <3

you find it very weird that a elf is on his own, but ignore it ofc and befriend baxter anyway

after much warming of baxter's cold heart, i imagine he settles in some civilian town or nearby and opens a bar!!

and every night its full with laughter and good music, and occasionally he'll come out from behind the bar

(honestly, he's mostly just cleaning the glasses and looking pretty <3)

and he'll pull you or one of your friends into a dance

omg imagine its not just a bar, its also a bed & breakfast

of course he's decent enough at cooking, so every morning he lays out a nice breakfast for his customers

derek:

knew this was derek insantly!!! he's half-orc

orcs dont have horns, do they.... well they do now

(realizing he's more Oni than anything in my head...)

anyway i need you to imagine arataki itto and if u don't know who that is Please find the beefiest fanart of him n thats derek LOL

derek grinning with his fangs and he's like 7 feet tall and buff, covered in scars.... yessir <33

i imagine he's a wanderer, but before that he was a cleric.

derek always helps people, he's very reliable but i imagine he's tired and somehow ends up working for baxter!

he's chef during the day and security at night!!!

no fighting in baxter's bar/diner unless you want a ass-ful of derek's boot <3

i also imagine when he's not running the place with baxter, he's helping the towns folk

the kids love him

they make flower crowns and run to the bar/diner to give them to derek <3333

ofc there's that one shy kid who offers one to baxter! bc they think he's really cool!!!

cove:

like you said he's a merman!!!

mmm, but i also imagine he can shapeshift into a "human"

(this is some ariel shit isnt it LMAO)

(also im imagining mer!cliff x human!kyra. mmm, i wonder if she'd be a bard? or maybe a healer, cleric maybe? why do i wanna write a whole fic on this now....)

although i imagine he needs to stay hydrated to stay on land like that. so please remind him to drink water when you're out n about otherwise he'll turn back into a fish in the middle of the market LOL

(you've learned this the hard way

!!! imagine if there's some way for you to come into the sea as well, be it a air bubble or potion of some sort and you have lil underwater adventures/dates n cove shows you all kinds of cool things <3333

he brings you lots of pretty things

if you like jewelry, he has his dad help him string up some pearls into a necklace or bracelet. or even better an anklet

+ if you're dating/crushing on each other

he'll do his little mermaid mating and courting rituals

like bringing you food

(will show up on your doorstep in the middle of the night w a big fish he caught or some breakfast derek smuggled him (cove doesn't keep many coins since mer-currency is more like sand-dollars or smth like coins made out of ore only found in the sea. the ore is good for nothing else than to be coins LOL))

OH MY GOD HE CAN CHIRP N SHIT

will chirp n shrill and do other cute mer sounds that you don't really know what they mean sometimes

COVE: *watching you dreamily* MC: *flustered from the staring* what?... COVE: *flirtatious chirp*

[lostshots]

thoughts on shadow generation

now that im done playing the story here are some of my thoughts:

the cut scenes are so good, although the detail on the model's fur/texture is a bit distracting (it's not a bad thing)

the flavour text is great! we get to see some insight on maria's and shadow's relationship on the ark, as well as the other characters relationship towards shadow

maybe it's the fact that this is my 2nd sonic game, but it's boring that all enemies have the same attack pattern: staying still until you come closer, then they shoot projectiles

hades 2 spoiled me for combat lol

it's so nice to see shadowing emoting again

i approve this game for people awful at platformers (signed by me, a person who sucks at them)

its really easy to fall off the ledge or miss homing shots at enemies/bounce pads if you arent paying attention

removing lives is handy

there were some areas i couldnt find, so i had to use a walkthrough just to get back to mephiles' area once i had all the keys

actually i fell off the path going to the black moon, so i had recollect rings and figure out how to get back up there again. not fun

i spent so long on the last phase of neo devil doom bc i kept running out of rings

sucks there's no checkpoint for that, but it is the final boss

would have been cool to see shadow introduce his friends to his family, but time paradox i guess

wish the doom morph could be activated at will so i can show maria squidow

actually rouge not commenting on his wings is a missed moment (dont think i saw mention of it in the compilations)

There are a lot of callbacks and references to past events

The anniversary manga is one of them (shadows name origin)

Shadow and Maria's relationship is a standout

some speculation:

Sad that shadow probably ended worse off emotionally at the end of it

if the timeline is intact, gerald probably died enraged at shadow too, since even his past fatherly feelings didnt stop him from writing over shadow's mind

there's no way they wouldnt expand on maria's little sister since they added her in

they probably dont know about ivo/eggman since there's no mention of him in the journals, and maria doesnt mention cousins

so eggman might have been born after the ark tragedy

which makes it funnier that shadow will be older than eggman, and his adoptive uncle

someone else mentioned it, but it's surprising that they deconfirmed the mural theory, since gerald respected the land too much to explore it or see the master emerald shrine

maria mentioned being surprised that he popped out as a hedgehog, and gerald's journal just calls him a sturdy biped. which means the species was not planned

so shadow really is a black arms in the shape of a hedgehog

there goes the theory that there's a hedgehog donor out there

would have been funny if it was a male hedgehog that donated some samples

then shadow gets 3 dads yay

actually would gerald go far enough to use maria's DNA to create shadow? for the gene compatibility if he managed to remove some of the markers for NIDs?

the manga showed blood transfusion, and that would only work if he had a suitable blood type

apparently it is possible for animal blood to be used in transfusion, just not worth it bc of antibodies?

someone who knows about biology correct me, i just did a quick google search

that would make shadow a black arms/human/hedgehog hybrid (if hedgehog dna was even used)

overall, very fun, and the main story can be completed in 6 hours.

now let's see if i can finish all the achievements after beating sonic gens...

[frecklystars]

my chest is aching and i am so sad bc i miss my starlight so much. but at the same time my heart is so full. i just spent almost seven hours with my friends. seven hours! i told them how ive been feeling and they didnt let me hold back. i felt like they were physically helping me to carry the burdens ive been holding by myself. they reassured me about my starlight multiple times, and half of them arent even self shippers, but they empathized with me heavily. they all held me when i cried and they told me it is going to be okay. not just about the grief of missing my F/Os ive lost, but just, in general, that everything will be okay. everything. and two of those friends who were present, i genuinely think they're two of the smartest people i have ever met in my life. they spent a long ass time analyzing my comfort characters, saying "okay logically, realistically, [F/O] would comfort you and love you, and here is why, and here is how. and no, they wouldn't harm you or manipulate you or betray you, and here is the logical reason why." if they say i'm gonna be okay, then... who am i to question or doubt them?

they also spent an hour helping me figure out how to print edible ink/glitter onto wafer paper so i would be able to bake heart-shaped cookies for my barbie/ken anniversary and transfer photos of them onto the cookies! they were so excited to hear about my anniversary coming up and they thought it would be so cute if i baked for my sweethearts ;u; they know how important it is to me because they know it's been 2 years since i've celebrated any F/O anniversary. and any time i got weepy they'd immediately hold me. and when i'd try to apologize, they'd refuse to even let me say a word, telling me to vent. so i vented for maybe a minute and cut myself off and they were like "no that's not all of it. keep going" and every few minutes when i'd stop myself, or try to downplay my feelings and change the topic, they'd say "no. no, you're not done. we know you've been through way more shit than that. keep talking, come on, we're here. you're not burdening us, we promise, keep talking keri." until i finally let everything out and they all held me and let me cry and rubbed my back. told me my F/Os would never harm me and why. told me how my IRL and online friends would never harm me, how they completely understand what im going through bc they've been through the same exact things as me. told me how barbie and ken are still here for me and how starlight is still here for me and how they're here for me...

i feel so sad yet so comforted at the same time. ive cried so much today but i cried surrounded by people who held me and made me feel genuinely listened to and cared for. and during the times when we werent venting, we were exchanging art, we were laughing, i dont think ive laughed like that in a while. one friend in that group stayed an extra three hours just because we were having so much fun together and we didn't want to sleep yet. she's one of the most fun and caring and kind people i've ever met. i got her hooked onto driver, and i'm pretty sure she's gonna get me hooked on the vampire from bg3 one of these days haha

celebrating my anniversary with barbie and ken is going to feel really bittersweet, but ive planned a lot. im going to really allow myself to feel loved that day and i think ill feel even more loved because those cookies are going to be made with the people who love me and who have been protecting me and promising me theyre always going to make sure i feel safe and secure with them. if i can feel this way with IRL people who i trust, i can feel this way with F/Os again too. yeah, even the ones that are triggers, i will reclaim them too. i know the love has to still be there somewhere, even if i dont feel it, even if im scared and numb and bitter. it takes time and it takes work but mlp was right bro... friendship really is magic and i know if i have them with me im gonna be ok. ;-; wah. im gonna burst into tears again augh. god. ok i better try to sleep. goodnight ilu

[poly-lights]

PART 2 TO MY II PREDICTIONS/WISHES/QUESTIONS (technically) SINCE YALL ACTUALLY KINDA LIKED THOSE?? and i have more!

please note btw that most, if not all, of this is not gonna happen bc they can't pack EVERYTHING into a 30 minute or so episode and not gonna lie some of these are my fixation talking and me being delusional. it's good to theorize though!!

lots of bias. let's get into it

i told my gf this BUT it'd be cool if there was a scene of trees changing, to represent seasons passing because it has to have been a year at most right

more lightbulb using her electrokinesis scenes plspls?????? like. she can just casually DO THAT....maybe have her use it for evil/J IM KIDDING. don't have her kill anyone

............................yet

another knife and suitcase scene, elaborating on the "making your presence known", how suitcase took it a different way, just a conversation if that makes sense

yknow. what was that roboarm in the gemory cave. and is it Still working after lightbulb powered it on.

unrelated but still.more so a question have we or will we ever get the full roommate list drop?? unless they're gonna wait for when s2 is done to not spoil anything

baseball and lightbulb friendship scene :] team captain style!

i think it's gonna release on OR near the anniversary, if the iii finale is so soon early into 2024 it gives slight time

can we get parent lore drop??? like hello?????? they cant just said what they said in iii ep 14 and never expand on it, so i have a heavy feeling its gonna get mentioned in s2 if not ep 15 specifically

im just hoping for lb centric, even if her lore doesn't match up well with the slams. pls im so autism abt her at this point its anything BUT funny

now here's some iii 18 predictions!! for fun :] and also me just rambling abt it (spoilers for iii 17!!!!)

those who left to the hotel come back for jury voting!! more importantly fan and pb please💥

bot and springy and gonna be near each other again next episode. springy may still try to pull some shit with bot, and, assuming so, if TEST TUBE IS BY BOT'S SIDE......

springy made that suitcase bot, so clearly he knows about season 2

we may just get ii 14 tt again. which i am HOPING for. idk i love seeing test tube ENRAGED for the people she cares about she's so fun and unique bc MAN that girl is angry. she's holding grudges against Two People

also. fan meeting bot? he is going to have such a big and hopefully impactful reaction!! pls he has his patterns and the sudden changes make him uncomfortable they need to mention this

if he knows about season 2......could he make, or has he made, toys of the other final four? again im just gripping at straws for an iis2 final four appearance

think abt it though. it's the iii finale. you think they won't do something big? considering mephone knows he has to go back? springy could easily torment him w that considering the whole "facing your past" theming

also walkie talkie is Totally associated with meeple. ik we've all figured that out but i just had to say something. very heavily focused on using electronics to better the future? implying robots taking over others positions?

also??? past contestants coming back SEEING the toys?? maybe. Maybe.

the entire episode could also just be a discussion and play on the ethics of ai and how it's affecting the writing industry by putting people out of jobs due to its advancement and im reading way too much into it but hey im putting my hard hat on and channeling my inner matpat for this stupid show about objects with limbs (/pos btw)

also. are they gonna leave floor behind??? or will they scoop him into a terrarium, then plant him into inanimate island?

can he teleport that far?? how far is paradise?????????? ae drop the map pls/silly

ALSO ALSO. WHAT ARE THE INANI-MATES?? IS N/A THE LAST OF THEIR KIND??????? i doubt it but STILL everyone else in that group died

hey. why is the background of the recap song the background used when the gemories formed the silhouette of cobs. hey now.

[xplrvibes]

part two. Ive decided to make comments as i watch big bulks so i don’t forget what i’m thinking.

1. the more sam and colby talk abt cody and satori… the more i believe them. like maybe im just a chameleon to opinion but they genuinely seem to believe in c&s and i wasn’t there, i haven’t experienced any of this so i think i’m back to ‘hey maybe it wasn’t all bs and this might be real’. I also firmly do not believe cody was cracking joints bc how? they felt it in the floor, heard it in the walls.. doesn’t make sense. also if the house ever goes up again they need to put an offer down. i get what sam was saying and it not being practical (properly value 300k but asking for 1.4m? that’s steep). it’d be a great investment tho.

2. with sam and colbys luck, one of them would get the most undeniable evidence of the paranormal (someone levitating, thrown a distance, possessed…) and people would still be like ‘fake!’ Lol Also gram (?) just mentioned a similar experiment to what we were discussing the other day! except he said take random people and not tell them which is haunted, we were saying put snc in a place and not tell them its haunted and then see what happens. they liked that idea so who knows… they might lol

3. i will always be so fascinated and proud of colby for how he handled and continues to be so transparent about his cancer journey. i say journey bc it will continue to be apart of his life for years to come, whether through medical appointments, anniversary anxieties, or just talking about it. mad props to him, mad props.

4. i just got a series of flashes in my mind of black and white photos of snc respectively announcing engagements to their partners and births of their children and it made me smile. one day, boys. one day that’ll be your future, your “purpose”.

done.

- aussie anon

always nice to listen to podcasts where everyone knows each other well, its less interviewy and more just a convo with friends caught on camera.

Also I hope their merch is still in stores next time i’m in the usa bc i would definitely grab a hoodie. just don’t wanna pay the insane conversion rate and shipping costs. i priced it, a hoodie + shipping works out to be $149aud. sorry boys… can’t do it 😂

1, I believe that they believe in Cody and Satori. I've never called snc's credibility into question with that whole mess, and it kind of annoys me that others do - not cause I think they are above reproach or something, but because people love to say "oh snc never bothered to even try to debunk these guys, so they must be in on it." Like, WHAT? They literally flew back across the country weeks later to try and debunk it cause they knew full well that there were a lot of ways out and around this. When the controversy started, they reached out to C&S and asked if they could run more tests and C&S said no. SNC, having done all of that, came out still believing them while also fully acknowledging that they could be faking - not much else they can do besides that right there, so why they are still coming under fire about it when C&S are the "frauds" is beyond me.

Literally, do y'all want them to kidnap these two people, tie them up, remove their shoes, and force them to do this barefoot? Do you want them to release this additional footage they have that C&S did not give them permission to release that they could probably get sued over (since releasing it would be done without consent) and possibly blacklisted from the entire paranormal community, just so reddit can have their fucking jollies? Like...?? Go after C&S and let snc continue to have their beliefs on the whole thing, since they did everything they felt they could to disprove this before making their decision on where they stood on the issue.

Sorry for the rant, that whole situation just annoys me.

As far as them almost buying the house - that made me laugh, cause we joked about the possibility of them doing that on here back when the house went up for sale. So knowing it almost happened is not only funny, but also explains some vague shit they said back in the day about possibly owning a haunted house lol.

2, You know, Sam's exuberant insistence that he wants to have some horrible thing happen to him so that he could have the experience and finally know for 100% that the paranormal is real is exactly the problem with Sam, and I've been calling that out for years. The fact that he can so casually say it out loud made me both feel vindicated and perturbed by him and his hubris (here's a good example of his hubris again lol).

But yea, I hope they take the idea and run with it!

3, I thought it was interesting to hear him be honest about the fact that this whole situation with the cancer is hitting him harder now than it did while he was in the thick of it. That is trauma. That is shock and adrenaline wearing off, and hindsight creeping in. I think it's important to be able to come out and say, "Yea, not all of this is a positive, and some of this will stick with you for years." Colby tries his damndest (to a fault sometimes) to always come across as a glass all the way full and overflowing kind of guy, or a stoic soldier who doesn't complain and keeps his head up, but then he's also very open about his emotional state, and vaguely alludes to his deep mental health struggles from time to time and I just think there's a well of really dark emotion buried deep, deep inside of him that would be healthier for him and everyone to let out every once in a while.

Anyway, that was a side tangent to the main point, which is that it is very impressive that he continues to put himself out there and speak so candidly about such a stigmatized topic.

Although, I don't think he grasps what the word "celibate" means, but he tried and that's what counts lol

4, I think it's high comedy that these two act like they've never given thought to their kids growing up together when they literally were just joking about this on xplrclub a few months ago. These two have brains like sieves lol.

Also, the looks on their faces when the host said "you should have girlfriends that are friends with each other" like yea, they are working on that right now, as a matter of fact.

And I think they'll be in Zumiez for a long time, so you should be good!!

[boypussydilf]

F, R, O, G for keroro gunso w that ask game pretty please :)

hehe. frog

F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

in one interrupted span of time? i think sgt frog, super paper mario, and persona 5 are the main things with several consecutive years of activity in my brain. thing that i got into the longest time ago that im still into now? Well this year might actually be the TEN YEAR anniversary of when I FIRST got into sgt frog! maybe. its hard to remember. (SPM has also been a consistent beloved for APPROXIMATELY that long lol) (you could count doctor who as something ive been a fan of for a really long time too but i didnt Really get into it until 2020)

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

my favorite friendship in keroro is. *wild gesturing to my icon* hyou know. you can see. theyre very imporant to me. i also get very emotional over keroro & fuyukis straightforward #bestieship and clearly think a lot about Childhood Friendship Trio. But you can’t beat my 2 favorite characters and my favorite type of dynamic: found family

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

hang on let me literally go shuffle my music and see how i can twist whatever comes up into being about sgt frog. TWISTER?!?!?! it came up w twister from the world ends with you and i considered picking a different one bc the lyrics are kind of nonsense btu actually? This is a kururu song. Idk why it just is. Something they’d like or something idk

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

The first (and only) ship I remember describing as an OTP was Blumiere & Timpani from Super Paper Mario. I think this still stands. (i think the original sgt frog ship i really deeply cared about was actually koyunatsu :])

[spiteless-xo]

FIRST AND FOREMOST HEYYYY TIFFIE BAE

ive been mia bc i went on my month-long trip and have finally returned to normalcy (not rly but fake it til you make it ig) BUT I MISSED YOU LOVEY

im so sorry for being inactive im literally gonna spam you and catch up like i never left

im still the same intolerable porco fucker..... i feel like if anything it's gotten worse bc i'm scrounging the internet for porco fic and all i'm getting is CRUMBS and things i've already read

i revisited tbas while waiting for one of my flights abroad and it's so funny rereading it bc albeit a prequel to tbaw, they feel like different timelines and then i have to remind myself that these are the same characters and you intermingled them in the literal best way possible (i still have lingering moments of remembrance of the notorious hockey match and porco and jean literally about to make out while fighting over reader)!!!

WHAT'S FUNNY (or maybe just psycho of me) IS THAT tbas' smut chapters are identified like tbaw's....... but i totally memorized which ones have smut 💀💀

like 'halloween with porco' is just that girllllllll

ALL THAT ASIDE, i hope you've been well lately! i hope work, life, and ur finance (definitely fiancé) have been treating you so so well and i hope there are nothing but good days ahead <3333

omg also... side note..... if i'm not mistaken.. i think i'm visiting ur home country in july which is so exciting 👀 my boyfriend and his family are from *redacted* and we're planning to meet up with his extended family and throw a surprise birthday party for her there!! we get to go sightseeing and i'm sooo excited bc we're making an effort to visit all the landmarks!!! esp the seawall that inspired tbaw 👀👀

SRY FOR THE LONG WALL OF TEXT

i missed you and ilyily tiffie <3333

~🥞

❤️❤️❤️❤️ welcome back!!! i hope the trip was a blast and you took lots of pictures and had lots of fun 🥰 plz spam me, i promise i'm sitting here on tumblr lurking and liking, and maybe I'll have something to share in the coming days, but i'm not going to promise anything because i have proven to be unreliable 👀

hehehe tbas is my sweet little baby, i think about it often. i wrote it all in like a week when i was high on pain medication from getting my wisdom teeth taken out and i had so much fun writing it that i started working on tbaw too 😭

we actually recently passed the anniversary of tbas ending and tbaw starting a few weeks ago!! wild.

(halloween with porco is............. a chapter that i return to often. 👀)

tytyty so much for the well-wishes!! i hope everything in your life goes perfectly: perfect job, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect boy, perfect everything 😘

omg that's so exciting!! idk if you've ever been before but the seawall is such a pretty walk. hopefully, it's a nice day when you guys go and it's not dumping rain like it usually is 💀

i'm actually going down to that area-ish for a golf trip in july too soooo wish me luck 😭 i'm not much of a golfer, more of a drunk-driving-the-golf-cart-er.

love you love you, welcome back! 🥰❤️

[zerokissingbooth]

every number but with gepard or sam drake or both, up to you

EVERY NUMBER? ARE YOU INSANE???? ok well im not listing out the questions here's the original post

gepard

forehead kisses,,, to me he's like 6'4" and i'm almost a whole foot shorter than him so it's more convenient for forehead kisses!!

hmm... neck kisses...

definitely soft and tender. his desperate kisses are just as gentle.

he likes spooning but i think when it's been a bit or he's having a rough patch he likes resting his head on my chest.. comfort in proximity

hugs from behind esp in the morning... sleepy where he hides his face in my hair as he wakes up

pancake.. likes the size different and he feels more like he has security in the hand hold :)

ideally he'd want to go to fancy places just bc i think that's how he was raised to treat a partner, but he prefers actually cooking instead!! he likes servicing :-)

accidentally keeps the relationship a secret.. he just doesn't want people to bother me !!

back massages. 100%.

he would only say "i love you" in serious moments or before going off to work with the guards... he takes the phrase very seriously (vs me who says it every other 5 sentences)

he either calls me by name or 'dear' / 'love'

just simple hand holding in public :) he probably gets a little flustered if someone makes a joke about PDA

stay at home most of the time... a nice home-made meal and something to watch is probably his ideal but he wouldn't hate a night out

both of these suggestions sound bad to me he could just take me to a cabin up in the mountains and keep me warm during the snowfall

he would have it ingrained in his head it has to be fancy so it probably would be... not loud and flashy but it definitely screams that gepard had a budget to splurge a little LOL

i think gepard would not want kids just bc fear of dying on the field and not coming back home + past trauma from his own parents mistreating him and his siblings creating a fear of 'what if i do that'... but he'd be a great uncle :)

he's demiromantic to me so it'd def be a slowburn on his half... me however i think i would have called him archangel gabriel as a pickup line and then leave out of embarrassment

he tries to maintain space in bed but he cuddles in his sleep LOL... he gives up after 3 weeks of waking up with some of my hair in his mouth

GIFTING FLOWERS 100% they're flowers he did his damnest to raise well and he's so excited about them being well grown for once

he also would value anniversaries a lot... not like huge events but makes a nicer meal than normal and buys nice wine for the night

ok i'm putting sam under the cut so it's not cluttering

sam drake

nose kisses. hes a freak

thigh kisses.. he is a freak and likes seeing me get flustered / stubbornly call him a jackass

heavy and passionate. bro was in jail for 13-15 years, he's gonna do his best to step up his game and i am the poor victim to be tested on

SPOONING!!! spooning!!!

hugs from behind bc he's a horndog but also likes the intimacy :-)

waffle!! he likes squeezing his fingers into my hand and vice versa

take-out dinners but he wouldn't be opposed for a quick run to a hole-in-the-wall

would brag to everyone like a smartass because he somehow still has game even though he was stuck in jail for like a decade

back massages also! type of dude to moan when you get to a knot in his back

says "i love you" pretty often too. since he is technically a criminal he doesn't want to risk missing the chance to say it

lots and llots of petnames... 'sweet heart' and 'pretty boy' are top of the list followed by my name and 'dear'

dude is casual pda core. arm over the shoulder, hand in my back pocket while we walk, maybe arm around my waist and keeping me close

cheap out on the town dates!! throwing rocks at cans and drinking in his shitty car or driving around on his motorbike

his ideal honeymoon is going on another treasure hunt. yes it would be to an island but hes bringing rope climbing gear picks and flashlights we are GOING to find something

definitely casual but intimate. closest friends and family only..

he does NOT want kids bro is emotionally stunted and is happy enough just being cassie's uncle

love at first sight on his side bc he's a sucker for stubborn idiots (me)

he likes both, but enjoys cuddling more. gets lonely and yearning when he has no body to sleep next to yknow

he wouldn't gift either but instead probably more antique vintage items... "hey i got you this rare 15th century snuff box" "where did you steal it from" "well."

yes but he doesn't make a show of it. treats it more like a private day alone with me, probably more into lazing in privacy and really cementing the fact he is in love

[sqqsfeet]

why would my best friend of 7 years not wish me a happy birthday

idk it might sound a bit petty saying this but tbh even if they forgot then it would be fine, but theyve seen my story (like the usual type of stuff) and i just want to know why. its not like i do anything extraordinary on my bday, usually id just treat it as any other day with the exception of just talking to slightly more people including that friend. either way, 3 years ago it was when i had to move away and although we slightly parted, we kept close contact still.

we had a conversation and stuff about a week ago literally aswell although it was just along the lines of me asking when they can come over to mine etc, but they replied with the same "my mum isnt doing too well financially" which i understand but it was the same thing for 2 years now and i even offered to pay this time and stuff (its about 10 quid for a bus to here) but they said that they anyway probably cant come - also smth to note is that they never actually ask their mum about it. idk it may be just that they arent as keen as i am but idk i cant help but feel sad about it.

i suppose a factor of this could be my ex, which tbh was a little messy now looking at it bc she took it in another way that i couldnt control and kept altering the truth and atp slandering me to my friends, like by saying i broke up with her on our anniversary (it was a month before) and that i was forcing her into a corner (i always was hesitant on asking her about doing stuff with me bc i knew about her personality being that way, so i literally asked 10 times about it and she still says i forced her to it :/). either way in short i broke up with her bc i really wasnt doing well mentally and i questioned a lot on my identity (im aromantic i figured now), which actually made sense why i didnt exactly feel like i was actually in a relationship ig?? it felt unfair to bind her to this for no reason and to burden her with the effects of what i was going through (and tbf i had a feeling that at that point she was just waiting for me to break up just so that she could blame it all on me) so i took upon that role. although it was a little sad at first that she in fact chose to block me everywhere (even turns out that on games like idv which i havent played for months too 💀) and not even try really going with it further, i think maybe it was for the better as i did feel better without the burden of a relationship and knowing that i potentially could be making someone worse just because i feel worse, until of course i realise that the friend (who i spoke about in the beginning) starts hanging out with my ex more and kinda distancing themselves from me, which kinda leaves me to the assumption of my ex slandering me :/

[fiendfremd]

Okay I'm going to post my thoughts on this last year, upcoming year and upcoming 10th year anniversary of making games behind the cut. I want to be as honest as possible so it might be kinda sad down there. You have been warned.

2022 was a weird year for me. I started off strong and things just slowly got worse over time.

I was invited to the Tiny Games Bundle and had a blast making Tomorrow for Mar for that. I'm ultimately sad about what happened to the bundle bc I still think it's a fantastic idea, it just wasn't in the cards.

Next was nano and starting work on Butterblue. At the time this felt like a mistake, I was coming straight off the back of finishing Tomorrow for Mar and I was exhausted and I knew I couldn't finish it in time and was aiming for a demo.

In hindsight, this was one of the best things I could have done. Honestly, I just really really want to make farming sims crossed with VNs and I knew if I pushed that off any longer I'd be dying. So even though I only finished a demo and the response was pretty lukewarm, I'm glad I finally started on the projects I've been wanting to make for so long.

After nano I had a month off which was good because I then jumped into Otomejam with a team!

Aaannddd this is why this is behind a read more on my secret personal blog lol.

The jam ended with me having a mental breakdown as I sat crying on my garage floor sobbing unable to move as my neighbors were drunk karaoke-ing Country Roads.

I did not have a good time with this jam. It started fine but then took a bad turn for the worse at the tail end of development. I was told "its okay to ask for help!" And then when I asked for help I was ripped into. The whole process was extremely mercenary-esque and that just... isn't really what I was looking for.

I'm in a lot of pain and whatever it is I'm looking for with my creative passions, I'm not getting it from working in groups in gamejams.

I like making games. I like making bad games. I like expressing myself.

I'm not able to make games on a professional level. I am not a professional gamedev, despite the fact that I work on them like 3 hours a day.

This has continuously clashed with a lot of the gamedev spheres I've been in. So many people have approached me and its later come out that they saw me as a "charity case". That if I "just marketed myself more, polished off all these edges and be normal for one day" I would be a Viral Hit.

Uh. I can't be "normal" for one day. The stuff that makes my work so unique is also what fucks it up from finding any sort of mainstream success. And sometimes I'm okay with that. But a lot of times I'm sad not bc im sad about not being "successful" but because so many people see me as that "Charity Case".

If I ever work with a group again for a gamejam I will be ultra clear that at the end of it we will have: 1 finished game, 3 comments, and maybe 20 notes across the social media landscape. That's it. That's what is going to be made. And expecting more than that will make you disappointed and I sure hope you don't end up blaming me!! 💦💦💦

After otomejam I just. Imploded. I worked on butterblue but at a much slower pace. It was good to work on something just to keep my mind off of everything.

It's been hard this year. Coming into 2022 I thought I had a great lineup for the year, and I was able to finish all my projects (with butterblue pending) but it was extremely painful getting there.

Not only was "online gamedev activities" painful this year but "offline gamedev activities" was the worst yet.

I tried to restart my local gamedev club and during one of the meetings there was this guy just GLARING at me the whole time. I had to physically bring the textbooks I was cited in to get any sort of foothold in the room. These meetups aren't for creatives finding like minded creatives. It's for entrepreneurial tech bros to have dick measuring contests.

I once read that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. People show you who they are. My biggest flaw is that I don't believe people when they show me who they are. I think "they can't possibly be that bad...." or "well I did say something stupid, that's why they yelled at me". I keep choosing to go to these same gamedev groups and finding the same people who are the same type of dismissive toward me and I keep surprised pikachu meme-ing. At this point, I've been through 4 different state wide gamedev groups that share roughly the same handful of people.

There's no place for me in the community that exists.

It's hard and I've been fighting it, thinking "well certainly one of these has to work". But it's been 10 years since I first started making games, and 6 years since I started attending local gamedev clubs in my area. I have searched high and low. Through valley and mountain. There is no place for me.

Maybe that's a death sentence. I certainly felt that way the last few years and was so desperate to make anything work. But I'm still alive, aren't I? I'm still here making games.

Maybe it's a death sentence. But it's not a quick death. It's a slow death, carried out over the years by progressive isolation.

But maybe that's also just life.

So as of now, I've stopped trying. I dropped out of all the gamedev clubs I've ever been in. (Save for one I'm waiting until after magfest to leave) Next year... idk. I don't know what my plans are, outside of finishing butterblue and working on a friend's game.

I want to chase things that bring me joy. If everything else is fucked beyond recognition, I at least want to have fun doing it.

I love making art and creative works. I love farming sims and I love strategy games. And there isn't a place for me at any of the "gamedev" tables but I'll make do anyway.