#or maybe im just rambling about nothing

[sukiluvvs]

Wait omg I was looking at this character sheet thing from an official fanbook

And oh my god the way he drew giyuu is hilarious

But what caught my eye was the rat-ish face he drew him with

Because iguro says this about him:

"I hate him. He has a rat face which makes me mad."

Which got me thinking

Does giyuu have a button nose? And maybe buck teeth?

Bc that's adorable omg

Also note this:

"People he dislikes (men who get close to nezuko) are basically drawn ugly. In the story, the more ugly the person is drawn, the more handsome he is in reality."

Which means giyuu is very handsome in (their) real life (which. We know. But it's nice to know that he's a canon pretty boy)

[anna-scribbles]

they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)

[critter-wizard]

ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️

b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

when you mentioned in your tags that there was hardly any laughingstock i didn't believe you at first, but holy shit ur right. YOU AND @krasytoonz MADE ME INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK BELIEVER. I WILL PAY TRIBUTE TO THESE SKRUNGLY FUCKERS SOON, MARK MY WORDS *shakes fist into the void*

no yeah Seriously though its just us out here, fighting for our lives in the fucking Trenches. in ten years someone is gonna use the word 'laughingstock' casually in conversation and im gonna have War Flashbacks

[mueritos]

its crazy how coming into clinical social work, i really just thought I was up against systems and cycles of trauma....but it turns out i'm up against those two things AND other therapists. the amount of work spent correcting mistakes from other clinicians--whether with clients or during the classroom--is fucking crazy.

i totally get we're all on different journeys in terms of being clinicians. but it is insane finding out day after day of therapists and clinicians saying the worst things ever to clients. demeaning them, telling them "it's all in their head", the racism and the ableism and harm that is caused. like no fucking wonder people are afraid to seek therapy (on top of the accessibility issues). while i'm a little biased and think that at the very least clinical social work training focuses on viewing people within their environments (so not engaging in the medical/individualist models of practice that a lot of counseling programs focus on), that doesn't mean it gives every person the skills to be an effective therapist. i'm also not saying i'm the best clinician ever--I'm literally in training--but boy! it is jarring seeing how some of my peers interact in class and wondering...is that how you are with your clients??

my social work program at the very least also has a focus on anti-racism, but i know students from other programs and some of them don't even mention racism AT ALL and focus entirely on diagnosing people "correctly", or finding the perfect form of therapy to use on a client. but man, what none of these programs teach are basic life skills. wanting to be a clinician isn't enough, especially considering that an inhumane amount of people in my program are 1. so nervous about making mistakes that they lose scope of their practice 2. have so much internalized racism/white guilt to work thru 3. or they have absolutely no listening skills.

again, im not trying to make it seem like I am the number 1 clinician in the world ever. I don't even have a psych background or bachelor's in social work. my reasons for going into social work are quite selfish (I want a job that is very flexible, easily transferable, and can be done in different contexts), and the helping people part is just a plus. i'm just saying it's very jarring seeing other people in training and realizing they too are working with clients. i have conversation after conversation about these issues with other BIPOC/queer/marginalized clinicians, so I know i'm not the only person worried about some of the people that will be out of this program in a few years practicing on their own or with vulnerable populations.

[kiwibongos]

it still fucks me up that fuyuhiko and peko were literally kidnapped as children. i dont think anyone ever talks about that at all. is that even well known information

[boo-gutzz]

Lots of ranting here lately ik but I've been thinking about limited life Scott so much. There's something about his almost desperation for Jimmy to love him again that gets me

[mellowmaidenhairs]

i think ppl who are super online or into fandom should watch/read/etc something without ever touching fandom discourse or making aus or shipping characters just like every once in a while

[fluffalpenguin]

Happy Shun Duel Links Day!!! (party popper emoji)

[popping-greenbean]

there are so many things that i could do so well,,, if only i could like.actually do them

[anonymouscreampuff]

if you don't think they can still work, that honestly sounds like a you problem

[quietwingsinthesky]

the last unicorn post from earlier has me thinking about the master. that yana is still in there, you know? is still someone he was, if even for a brief flash across the life of a time lord. there’s no way to unlive that life. there are ways to twist it later, sure, to make utopia into hell on earth. but the life was lived. in much the same way that the doctor can remember, can feel, the love he held onto as john smith even as that life is ripped out of his hands. the doctor choose denial and then grief and then to shutter it all away. and so john smith died, and so professor yana died, and the doctor and the master live on. the doctor has done this before, and he lives in orbit around humanity, trying to keep the best parts of them and hold them deep enough to take root (which he can pretend he gets to choose, as a time lord. as a human, it all floods in and can’t be dug back out.) but what about the master, right?

to borrow a turn of phrase: i think there are two time lords left in the universe, and they both learned how to regret.

[yamishika]

100YQ Rant/Criticism

SPOILERS FOR FT 100YQ INCLUDED

I have been following FT 100YQ and have seen a lot of moments that just made me go ‘hmm okay, doesn’t make sense but alright’, and there have been a lot of moments of just the plot/narrative being broken for convenience sake. It has gotten under my skin many times, but as a Jellal fan, one of the biggest offenses and one that makes me scratch my head a lot is from chapter 144.  Don't read ahead if you don't want to be spoiled about a big reveal on his character or on 100YQ.

144 : Beyond Sins.

Now initially when this chapter came out, I really loved it since it was the first time we had a backstory in ages and it being Jellal’s, I ate it all up.

But there was something in this chapter that made absolutely no sense narrative wise when I looked back with fresh eyes and wasn’t riding the high of getting Jellal’s backstory/anything Jellal related.

That being.

This panel.

We’re told not even a page into the chapter, Jellal’s real name is ‘Siegrain’, a name which we know from the previous narrative and was hinted throughout arcs to be like an alter persona for Jellal. 

This chapter goes on to basically confirm that Jellal canonically has DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), a trauma response that must have manifested given all the stress and changes that happened in his life from losing his father young, watching his mother die by the slavers and then being taken into slavery, having his whole trajectory he planned for his life ruined etc. 

This is an understandable trauma response, and I would love to have seen it properly explored with understanding in regards to Jellal/Sieg’s character. It would have been so interesting to see how Jellal’s trauma at the tower manifested in a split personality and how he coped with the situation as he was cited to be notably different to all those around him 

‘A Leader’

‘One who doesn’t cry’

‘The strong boy’. 

This chapter basically confirms that this character he created was a way to mask his own insecurities and cope in the unknown environment.

However, that’s not where my gripe is.

Because as much as I was interested in the idea of Jellal’s trauma manifesting as DID, it’s the way that the narrative has gone about it which butchers everything else and makes no sense in a narration sense.

The man who we are told his name has always been ‘Jellal’ is now revealed to us by this flashback chapter to have actually had the name ‘Siegrain’ as his birth name. 

This on it’s own is boggling but wouldn’t have caused such breaks in the narrative, but the fact that this very chapter contradicts a chapter in a previous arc with Jellal in the Gears fight, this is where it just stops making sense.

In order to beat Gears in chapter 57, Jellal takes out ‘Siegrain’, the man whom he claims is the carrier of his sins, which in accordance to other arcs of Fairy Tail makes sense since we see the Siegrain persona being the most active in regards to infiltrating the magic council, getting the etherion fired etc.

But now we have in not even 100 chapters after this, it’s revealed to us that Jellal’s name isn’t Jellal at all, but ‘Siegrain’. How can Siegrain be the one carrying Jellal’s sins, when Siegrain is the main identity/person  that Jellal was created from? 

It just doesn’t add up.

And if that isn’t narrative breaking enough, Jellal’s name actually being ‘Siegrain’ causes a whole other narrative hole too.

This guy.

Mystogan.

Mystogan’s real name is Jellal, just like if not all Edolan counterparts share the same first name of their earthland counterparts (e.g. Natsu Dragion, Lucy Ashely, Erza Knightwalker, Gray Surge etc). But being told now all of a sudden that Jellal changed his birth name doesn't work for Mystogan, as are we meant to believe that Mystogan conveniently changed his name to be ‘Jellal’ to match his earthland counterpart who was going through a mental crisis?

Mystogan, the one who’s whole thing was to keep his identity hidden and it’s Faust, the one who calls him out the name as Jellal. The one who is meant to be his father/father figure? Mystogan, who somehow has the name Jellal, a name Erza wasn’t even allowed to mention out of the Tower, which makes sense for him to have it if his counterpart had that birth name, but apparently that’s not the case?

I know I am probably just beating a dead horse now and I should get over it, but I just needed to write something since my head was struggling to make sense of the reveal for a long time. I don’t know what exactly is added to the story by Jellal’s birth name being ‘Siegrain’ other than shock value. Like what does this plot twist actually do? Nothing.

Other than it just makes the whole narrative so messy now and I don’t like it. If the aspect of DID was to be introduced for Jellal’s character, then what was wrong with Jellal being the host? And Siegrain being the alter that manifested as a trauma response?

It could have been something intriguing and insightful to explore, bring awareness about different trauma responses and also add a new layer to his character beyond just extremes of misguidance and the need for redemption.

But no.

God this just makes no sense.

I’m sorry for ranting, after seeing the Gears fight animated, it reminded me of THAT reveal and I just saw glaring plot holes which I completely blindsided the first time I read the chapter.  And what makes me even more annoyed is the DID aspect is probably just another plot convenience that is most likely never going to be brought up again ever.

And I’ve already said how I don’t like something serious such as trauma being used as a plot device.

Which it clearly is in this case.

The only way I can make sense of both events existing, is that it shows that Siegrain is so disassociated from his sense of self, that he has decided to adopt the identity of Jellal completely, killing his born self for the sake of the present and going as far to believe that Siegrain is the made one and not 'Jellal'.

However then that opens up a whole new discussion...One I might cover another day, but i'm afraid this is getting long enough as it is.

But yeah, thank you for listening to my ramblings if you’ve stayed this long.

I wonder if anyone else felt the same about the reveal as someone who likes Jellal's character? Or just has been following the story? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[jerreeeeeee]

there's nothing inherently wrong or unhealthy with a platonic relationship being the most intimate and important in someone's life (whether that person is also in a romantic relationship or not). this has been said before but people still treat it like its true. ESPECIALLY that a prioritized platonic relationship belies “codependency” even though no one would bat an eye at the exact same dynamic if it were romantic, because of the idea that a prioritized platonic relationship is somehow immature/unhealthy and something to grow out of/move on from.

the idea that the twins just go, well, you've been the person i felt safest loving and trusting in my entire life, our souls have been bound by fate and magic and our love for one another is one of the strongest bonds in the multiverse, transcending death and unimaginable loss, the motivation behind everything we’ve ever done, but since we're both in romantic relationships now and the story is over, the reasonable and in-character thing to do would be to split up and have separate nuclear families because that's the "healthy thing" (read: expected thing). there's no other form of a domestic happy ending than a marriage and typical nuclear family. you're everything to me, my entire world, my heart, see you later.

ok this got too long i'm putting it under a readmore.

(also why i don't really like the idea that taako adopts angus. "parent" is not the only important, loving role an adult can play in a child's life but people feel that need to shove everything into a nuclear family. also taako has too much going on to be the good parent that angus needs anyway. and magnus and lucretia are right there. but this is another post <- this is actually a fan fiction i’m writing, kind of)

i just find that frankly silly. i truly believe that the twins live together for the rest of their lives and are always each others' most important person (before anyone kills me i do think barry is there too. they also both love him so much. capacity for love INCREASES there’s no need for a replacement or a “moving on” it’s an addition). there's not any reason they wouldn't live together other than that it’s not “normal?” but why would they give a shit about that. their prioritization of one another isn't the unhealthy thing about their relationship. they do have other stuff going on that's actually codependent, but i think they eventually work past it and come to have a healthier (yet no less close) relationship. actually this post was originally just supposed to be about those codependent tendencies but i felt like i needed to compensate by clarifying that there are only a very specific few things abt their dynamic i find unhealthy and that by and large they’re fine, actually.

the main thing is, as is so succinctly put in this post—they aren't able to communicate about big, important decisions. not to say they never communicate about anything, i think they actually do communicate effectively about a lot of things—warning i’m going into a complete tangent here—i see a lot an idea that they’re not siblings who hug or really verbalize affection at all which is crazy to me (<- personal opinion alert) like they’re closed off and distrusting (taako more than lup, but she’s certainly not exempt from their trauma) to other people and the world at large but they have always always been each other’s exception, each other’s utmost safe place, the one person they could be absolutely comfortable around, who they never have to be afraid of. that’s one of the things i find so compelling about them, that they trust each other with their entire selves. they have no reason to ever feel defensive around each other. oh to be known so entirely and intimately and never feel ashamed or afraid of judgement or abandonment. augh. so i do think they hug.

also—i don't think they "don't know how to be a person without each other" like that's certainly not true for lup and i don't really think it's true for taako either. they have their own distinct personalities and identities they just also both inform each others’ lives. they're an integral part of each other's identity the way your family or best friend or partner or most important person in your life is but again i think that's fine.

but back to the topic at hand anyway they DO hide their misgivings from each other when it comes to huge shit with world-changing, life-threatening consequences lol. when it comes to, like, turning herself into a lich, or leaving to recover her dangerous magical artifact, lup feels like she needs to be entirely decisive and confident for taako, and when it comes to his sister turning herself into a lich, or proposing a dangerous magical artifact plan, taako feels like he needs to be unflinchingly supportive and loyal for lup. and those both backfire obviously. because they trust each other so completely that they don't trust each other enough to not trust each other. weird paradox.

but really its not a lack of trust in each other its their own insecurities projected onto each other. lup second guesses herself but feels like she can’t express that uncertainty so she’s alone with her doubts which increases the pressure and stress and creates a feedback loop that only makes her more insecure. and taako feels like he doesn’t have anything to bring to the table other than backing up lup and is afraid doubting her would hurt her which means he never has an opportunity to find out he does actually have good ideas and that lup would listen to him constructively. but it manifests in lup “not trusting taako” to have her back even if she doubts herself and taako “not trusting lup” to take criticism even if his idea is good.

and honestly i think the solution to this just comes with… not being in those lifethreatening situations anymore. the universe was saved and they have normal (magical fantasy world) lives. so now when they’re hiding things from each other the stakes are a lot lower. and when the stakes are lower they’re able to express uncertainty because they don’t feel that extreme and terrifying pressure anymore. lup doesn’t have to make impossible decisions and stick to them despite any doubt because she doesn’t have the survival of entire worlds on her back anymore. taako doesn’t have to always agree with lup and uncritically support her every choice because he’s not the only thing holding her together from oblivion anymore. so they're able to express doubts and nothing falls apart and they're actually stronger for it. and they’re already doing so much work on fixing their relationship just from being separated and kinda grieving for a decade too, so they eventually work past that.

and also because they have to face those insecurities and their consequences. lup got trapped in umbrella limbo for a decade and taako had his life destroyed. if lup had been able to overcome her need to put everything on her shoulders and expressed uncertainty, if taako had been able to overcome his blind loyalty and expressed doubt, would they have gone through with the relics? would they have even gone through with the lich plan? they realize only afterward that they should’ve talked about it, and so they learn from their mistakes.

another tangent—isn’t it so crazy how, by any standard, lup should be the strongwilled, passionate, heroic protagonist and taako her cynical, pragmatic, yet loyal sidekick? and yet he’s the protagonist and she the supporting character in the actual narrative? so subversive and intriguing. i cant believe this was all masterfully and purposefully written. anyway. (<- in the in-universe metanarrative version of the story, lup [and honestly, probably davenport] is the tragic ghost who haunts the narrative and lucretia & barry are the morally gray protagonist foils, and tres horny boys are supporting characters/comic relief who go on to have their own semi-important b-plot arcs that ultimately serve to further the protagonists’ arcs. btw.)

back to the twins. i also think they don't only grow post-canon, i think they grow a LOT during the century, because in the beginning, they're coming from a life where they have been not only the most important people in each other's lives, but the ONLY people in each other's lives. and now they're suddenly faced with more people, which they handle fine individually, more or less—lup is faster to warm up to the others, but even though taako's attitude is very much that he only cares about him and his, he is capable of expanding the people who are "his" (eventually). but they've never had to bring other people into their dynamic with each other before.

i don't think either of them are possessive, their relationship is built on deepest mutual respect and love and trust and "possessiveness" is kinda antithetical to that, but they can both be jealous on occasion. although there is a difference—lup is the only one who will outwardly display jealousy (and maybe a better word than jealousy would be insecurity), again because of the dynamic earlier: taako must always support whatever decisions lup makes without question. so when taako dies one cycle and all of a sudden merle and magnus and everyone else grieve him too, lup feels a sense of ownership over grief (not over taako himself, but over loving taako, just because no one else ever really has before, and she’s never had to think about the possibility that he might love other people too) that she initially may not challenge but does eventually let go of, because it's actually a good thing that other people love him now, and bringing new people into their family doesn’t make their love for each other any less. and taako has a similar experience but tbh i think its a little easier for him bc, like, who wouldn’t love lup, and lup loves other people way more freely than taako does (still not super freely, its a low bar). not that lup thinks taako is unloveable OBVIOUSLY (taako does think he’s unloveable tho) i just think they have different attitudes abt it, like they both have the moments of “but you don’t love them as much as i do!!” which is true, no one loves them as much as they do, but taako’s more willing to let that shit go bc he just doesn’t care as much what the others do as long as they don’t fuckin bother him about it. like lup sees the others equate (as she sees it, but oc they’re not actually grieving At Her) their (comparatively shallow) grief to her world-shattering loss of her best friend, only family, soulmate, silly rabbit, and she gets angry about it, but taako’s reaction is more like, “ok they’re stupid. who cares.” meanwhile and more importantly, all of a sudden lup is falling in love with barry, but taako's not one to throw a fit or demand that he's the only one who can love lup nor the only one lup can love. she’s made her decision. he just gives barry advice and lets it quietly hurt and draws distant, because he has a deep seated fear of abandonment that is now, for the first time, clashing with his unshakable trust in lup. and their relationship irrevocably changes but maybe not for the worse, because taako has, for the first time, doubted lup, a disruption to their typical (codependent) dynamic. but, of course, in the end his fears are unfounded and lup pulls him back in, because their capacity for love increases—of course lup still loves him just as much and yknow what, so does barry, and so does the rest of the crew. so he doubts and fears and is proven wrong. and so they grow and change, and their world increases from two to seven.

but that doubt doesn’t really go away for a long time, exacerbated and strained the more lup keeps secrets (especially with barry) until it reaches a head when lup finally doubts taako and does truly abandon him. but again, of course, never on purpose and never forever, they find their way back to each other despite everything and, again, come away stronger for it. the idea that the twins’ relationship is never as close again after story and song is so fucking tragic and heartrending but really i just think its unrealistic. because the rift between them is what caused their pain in the first place, of course they wouldn’t just shrug and move on. they would do anything for each other, including a lot of difficult emotional work and healing. for a little while they do have to deal with the reality that they’re not as close as they were. but they can be again. it just takes time and effort.

but anyway just to drive my point home—we mostly see taako's side of it since he is the protagonist in the real world narrative, but lup is always, always positioned within that narrative as his most important person. (and even then, lup says as much for taako! she loves barry of course but she loves taako so much he’s her heart!!) when thb see their lives after the hunger in paloma's prophecy, taako sees himself cooking with lup. she's textually representative of healing and joy in his future, and she's the main character present in his epilogue too. she's his greatest loss and his greatest love, positioned in exactly the same place as julia and merle's kids. there are a myriad of love stories going on in balance and a myriad of love stories involving taako that are all beautiful and significant in their own right but i really do think the main one in his life is lup!!

well all that to say they’re my favorite little critters ever and i’m studying them under a microscope forever. how do you end posts

[petrichal]

It's absolutely a me thing, probably, but people who say that they hate an author and have the time to reiterate it endlessly but continues to support their work- without ever crediting the good part of the writing that makes them a fan to begin with- irks me so goddamn much.

An author and their work is very intrinsically tied together. They write their beliefs of the world in the text, their sociopolitical stance practically bleeds out from the pages. Of course this isn't the case when you're making a comic or book/any form of media for the sake of it being disturbing, but the point is, I need people to understand that an artist's work is an extension of themselves and you need to respect that especially if it's a work that you love and connect with.

[bunnihearted]

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