#or maybe I’m just gay | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

flowerfeast444 · 2 years ago

Text

you were a house on fire || h.s {pt 5}*

harry styles x oc

chapter summary: Harry and Roe can’t help but let their thoughts wander when they are alone, leading them to meet again. (god i love this chapter fr)

word count: 2.8k

series masterlist

Roe was ten years old the first time she stole. Granted, it was a set of watercolor paints and a single, ragged brush from her elementary school, but still, she saw herself as a first-time thief. Her class just finished their painting unit in their art class, and while everyone except Ethan, her best friend, had their attention elsewhere, she slipped the supplies into her backpack. That was two weeks after the twins were born. Lucas found her stolen goods, barely eight at the time, and tried convincing her to return them because everybody knows that people who steal go to jail, and he couldn't have his big sister go to jail.

Of course, Roe promised Lucas she was safe, and it was okay for her to keep her paints. That, however, didn't stop her from hiding them whenever Blue Uniforms searched through the house. They always came with loud shouts and left with one or both of her parents. No. Her paints were safe. There was a spot between her dresser and the wall where the case could sit without falling to the ground. You only saw it if you knew it was there.

Roe woke up that Tuesday with a picture of it in her mind, still behind the dresser, collecting dust. It had been there since she was fourteen, and the Blue Uniform left with her dad like they had many times before. But unlike those other times, he didn't come waltzing back through the front door weeks or months later with a smirk on his lips and shake of his bald head. She left the case there, told herself she would bring it out again when her father's boots clunked around their house. Day after day, her hope dwindled until she forgot of its existence entirely- until now.

With a lull in clients at Keystone and today as her day off at the diner, what harm could she do by pulling the old dried up pigments from their hiding place? River was her only company at home, but she put him down for a nap only moments ago. So, Roe set up her paper, watercolor, and brush, and water in a cracked plastic cup that read "Pirates Cove!" on the kitchen table in the sunlight of midday. It was all there- her supplies, time, quietness, ambition to create, yet she couldn't think of anything to paint. No subject. No muse. At least, not one she desired admitting to.

Roe slouched into her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. This was not how it was supposed to go. She wanted to paint a flower or some fruit. She wanted to be able to paint freely, without thoughts of a lingering lover plaguing her mind and ultimately restricting the feeling in her fingertips. It was as if she were actually there with her hands anchored around Roe's wrists.

Perhaps Roe was not meant to be an artist. She shook her head and blew a puff of air to send her bangs away from her eyes. She picked up her phone and dialed the only number she still knew by heart.

~~~

Harry's ringtone drew him from his warm afternoon nap. His body never knew which timezone to align itself with, and with no work for the unforeseen future, Harry found himself napping more than he did when he was a toddler. He wiped the crusted sleep out of the corners of his eyes and untangled his phone from the sheets near his left knee. "Niall Horan" lit up the screen in bold lettering under a picture of said man doing a handstand on top of one of their tour buses. Harry took that picture on their first tour and always admired it. By the time he was ready to answer the call, it was too late, sending Niall off.

Harry ran his hands over his face again. Certainly, Niall would have his ear for that one. Sure enough, seconds later, his phone rang again. "Hey," Harry answered, his voice heavy.

"Hey mate, you alright? You didn't answer, and you sound," he paused, "tired?"

"I'm fine. You woke me is all."

"Oh."

"Did you need something?" Harry loved talking with his best friend, but a much timider and hesitant voice had replaced the Irishman's typically quick and carefree one.

"No, no. Just checking in on you. Seeing how you're doing is all."

"I'm fine, Niall, really. Say what it is that you want to say, I know you have something," Harry huffed.

"I- all the boys, well really Liam and me, we want you to know that we're here for you and," he paused again. Harry thought he might've heard whispering on the other end, but perhaps he imagined it, "we know you're going through a tough time with everything- more than us for sure. Just- we're here if you want to talk."

Harry sighed as Niall continued his speech. Biding his time, he cast his gaze towards his window. A mourning dove landed on the fire escape and snatched a cockroach into his beak. The insect twisted its legs in an attempt to escape but soon gave up before the bird dove back down into the alley. Envy pinched his chest, but for which party, he did not know.

When Niall eventually stopped tripping over his words, Harry reassured him that he was fine and would call him in the case that he was not. They gave their goodbyes and hung up not long after. With no plans for the rest of the day, Harry allowed himself to fall back into slumber despite dinner hours approaching.

~~~

"I'm so glad you called, I needed this. And by the looks of it, you do too, babe," Sara shouted in Roe's ear over the thumping bass of a song she didn't recognize.

Roe tried her best to let everything go and allow the tequila to numb her throat. Secretly, she hoped it would numb everything above it as well, but so far the drink was failing on both fronts. She just went through the motions; take shots, dance, shout some song lyrics, repeat. These nights were rare, and they usually hit the reset button on her stress levels. It wasn't often she could let loose and not think about anything worrisome for a few hours.

But tonight, no matter what she did, she could only picture Ariel in the crowd next to her. Roe's heart twitched at every glimpse she caught of a brunette, and her chest burned because of it. She's not so sure she can blame it on the tequila.

Tequila, however, was to blame for her following actions. A simple 'hey' sat in the text box under Harry's contact for several moments, the blinking text cursor mocking her loneliness and indecision. She saved his number from work one night in case of emergency- whatever an emergency at an automobile shop would look like. She swore she wouldn't hit send, honestly, but a petite woman bumped into her shoulder and suddenly there's no way for it to be undone. She chewed her nails with a furrowed brow as the 'delivered' sign quickly turned into 'read' and three dots appeared underneath it before a reply came through.

'Who is this?' it read. Shit. This was a mistake.

'roe. sprry'

'Oh. Are you ok?' Roe looked up, sifting through her thoughts for a response.

A dancing couple caught her eye, distracting her from the task at hand. The woman nuzzled her nose in her partner's neck, swaying several beats too slowly for the song pumping through the speakers. The man didn't seem to mind, just swayed with her, arms resting naturally on her lower back. The rest of the dimly lit room meant nothing to them. The ceiling's strobe lights were shooting stars for all they cared.

Roe fleetingly wondered if she and Ariel ever looked like that. They never slow danced in the kitchen or stargazed together- "We're not a romcom, Roe," she would say. But, after long days of work and taking care of the kids, they laid atop each other on the scratchy living room couch, and Ariel hummed Something by The Beatles as she played with Roe's hair until they both drifted asleep.

Did it look like that? Natural?

The couple from before was now nowhere to be found and she worried about their mere existence at all. Rubbing a hand over her face, she responded to Harry, 'fine just drunk'. Before she could convince herself otherwise, she added, 'miss yu'.

This time, it took several minutes for a word back from Harry. Roe anxiously nursed a beer after deciding to take it easy on the tequila shots. The room spun, and she honestly needed to sit down, but she kept her eyes transfixed on her phone.

'Do you want to come over?'

With that, Roe made her way through the crowd towards Sara. It took a moment to locate her in the throng of bodies, but when she did, she made up an excuse of being tired and wanting to call it a night early. Sara understood because of course, she always does. Her kindness left Roe with a slight weightiness as she slipped her jean jacket on and stumbled to the train station a few blocks away.

Even in her state, Roe remembered the route to Harry's apartment. It wasn't a long journey from the bar, and soon enough, she knocked at his door. She barely had time to question her motives before it swung open to reveal Harry half-dressed. A pair of loose black sweatpants clung to his hips and a smug grin hung lazily from his lips. They spared but a moment as Roe stepped inside and dragged him closer by the drawstring of his pants, but despite their impatience, they first connected their lips leisurely.

"You taste like beer," he giggled.

"You," she traced her tongue down his neck and nipped at his collarbone, "smell like weed."

"Aren't we a pair?"

Roe kept her fingertips at his waistband, teasing gently as Harry guided them through the living room. Roe nearly pulled away, expecting to settle on the couch again, but Harry kept leading them down the hall. Every few steps, their footing fumbled, and they had to rely on the wall for stability. Harry's hand sank into her thigh at the bottom of her body-con skirt, and as the kiss grew heavier, the only thought running through Roe's mind was, take it off.

She would like to say they fell gracefully into the bed, but anyone in their right mind would know better. Roe's fingernails dug into the skin behind Harry's shoulder blade. She nearly apologized, but he let out a broken sigh and whispered, "again". Roe scratched again, this time dragging towards the sides of his ribs. They toyed like this for a few moments longer, reveling in each other's heat, rutting against each other. In the midst of this, her skirt had been pushed up to bunch around the thinner part of her waist, and Harry's sweatpants were nowhere to be found. Roe's jacket and tank top straps slipped from her shoulders, providing Harry the perfect opportunity to bite marks into her tanned skin. They rocked together, taking only what they needed from the other- perhaps an iota more. In the absence of speaking, their heavy breaths filled the room until Roe nearly felt the weight of it enclosing her every limb. By the time Harry's final moans subsided, Roe became hyperaware of the sweat beading on her forehead and the stickiness between her thighs. It made her nauseous.

They rolled away from each other slowly, disentangling limbs and the sheet that had become wedged between them. The bed had been slovenly before either of them fell into it; Roe could only imagine how badly the sheets needed to be washed now. She sighed and pushed herself from the bed, finding her clothes hurriedly. Harry stayed still and silent. Somehow after how close they had been only moments ago, they couldn't meet the gaze of the other. Roe wanted to ignore the panicked "shit" that fell from Harry's lips, but she couldn't. Weed paranoia would give a weak excuse for the tension in his face. Something was wrong.

"What is it?" A tall mirror rested against the wall beside Harry's dresser and Roe only took five seconds looking through it as she combed her bangs with her fingers to abandon it as a lost cause. She counted the lucky stars she hadn't worn makeup; if she had, there's no telling the kinds of looks she would get on the way home, and that's saying something. Here's to hoping the lame hour would allow her to stay somewhat anonymous. She gave herself one last once-over before casting her gaze to Harry, more than ready for his answer.

"Are you on the pill, by any chance?" he grimaced.

"Shit."

Roe allowed her face to fall into her hands for a moment. She quickly recovered, putting up a stone wall in her mind, and continued her mission of collecting her things. This time, her emotions were included.

"Where are you going?"

"Home," she replied sharper than she intended.

"I mean, all hope isn't lost, or whatever. I can give you money for a Plan-B or something. I very well can't go buy one, it'll end up in a magazine, and it'll probably be expensive for you." It sounded pretentious even before the sentence was fully formed. Even so, Roe merely shook her head and shoved her heels into her sneakers faster. "Fuck! I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean it like that."

"Doesn't matter if you meant it when we both know it's true."

"You could stay. We could figure something out?" It had been at least an hour since her last drink but she was still feeling the effects of it, and by the droop of his eyelids, Roe didn't trust Harry's sobriety either. The best thing for them was separating, Roe decided.

"Sorry. I just don't really do the whole morning thing. Plus, I've got to work tomorrow. Earn my own money."

"Ok," he clears his throat, "yeah, I get it. Sorry, again."

"It's fine," she demanded coolly.

Roe only looked back once as she left Harry's room. From their conversation, she half expected him to offer to walk her out. But, the telltale sound of a lighter clicking allowed her to take the final steps out the door with confidence. Her heart still beat quickly with adrenaline despite the quietness the Red Line provided her on her journey home. Winter showed no mercy, and by the time she stepped on the platform, her jean jacket barely provided any comfort. In some backward way, she was thankful for the sub-freezing temperatures. It kept her from overthinking the events of the night.

Roe unlocked her front door just shy of four in the morning. Despite her numb fingers and slight dizziness, she managed to go inside and kick off her sneakers without falling into a heap on the ground. Upon entering the living room, she noticed Lucas. He sat on the middle cushion of the couch, slouched so far down, she worried he would get a crick in his neck. A single lamp illuminated the left side of his face, but only just; they lost the original lampshade years ago and their mom replaced it with one from a thrift store that barely fit. So, the lamp now shone dimmer than ever, placed haphazardly on the floor in the far corner of the room (it was meant to be sitting on a table, but they never got around to buying one). All this to say, Roe could barely see Lucas, and yet, he looked worse than she felt.

"What are you doing up?" she asked.

"Could ask you the same thing. Aren't you supposed to be having a girl's night at Sarah's? You know you could've stayed over there, I've got the kids tomorrow."

"Yeah, no, I know"

"You look fucked up."

"Thanks." Roe smiled sarcastically.

"Did you ditch her?"

Roe busied herself by picking up the stray action figures littered on the ground near the stairs and shrugged; "Didn't feel like staying. Why does it matter?"

He shrugged and muttered, "Just kind of a shitty thing to do to a friend."

"Well, I guess it's a good thing that it's none of your business then."

Lucas threw up his hands in defense of her icy words, and watched her collect the remaining toys on the floor. When she finished, she dumped them in a bin next to the couch and finally retreated to her room. She debated peeling off all of her clothes and scrubbing the night off in a hot shower, but one glance at her bed convinced her otherwise. Without any further ceremony, Roe flicked off the lights and let herself fall into a dreamless sleep.

#harry styles #hs #harry styles x oc #fanfic #fanfiction #imagine #the female experience of immediately getting icked out by a man after sex LMAO #or maybe i’m just gay #drunk texts

4 notes · View notes

libbythatcherssecretgf · 3 days ago

Text

Pocket Sized Comfort

Lilia Calderu x Fem! Reader

——————————————————————————-

Synopsis: You are a witch with the ability to shrink yourself to as small as you want. You need comfort from Lilia so much it almost hurts.

Word Count: 2.0k~

Content Warning: thanatophobia, anxiety, Fluff, boobs (but not sexual).

Tags: @ahsfan05 @grifffins @kenzie-floops @multixfan @imorynn @im-a-carnivorous-plant @renyfisher @alittlewitchyone @madamspellmans-met-tet

Notes: Inspired by the studio Ghibli movie “The secret world of Arrietty.” I’m also very touched starved, and my main love language is touch. So you get this. 💋 word translations & outfit references will be at the bottom

——————————————————————————

It was a chilly spring morning, fog in the air and dew left on the grass. Coming from the chimneys was thick black smoke, blowing with the wind. The remnants of the wood burning to warm all the homes of families tucked away in their beds. Much to early for regular working class adults, and children waiting to go to school to be up for the day. Yet you stir, a chill running up your spine.

Pulling the blanket tightly over your shoulders, you shiver and reach for Lilia. Her side of the bed lie cold, the covers back in place. Like she hadn’t been there when you went to sleep a couple hours prior. With a sigh, you rub yours eyes. Sitting up, and immediately rubbing your arms to try and warm yourself up. The bedroom window was open, figures. Lilia loves these chilly mornings, she says her tea is the best when she’s a little cold.

After a good yawn and stretch. You throw the covers off yourself, and swing your legs over the side of the bed. Toeing your bunny slippers on, and snatching your robe quickly off the bed post. Sliding it on with ease, and tying the robe around your waist. It was a old robe of Lilia’s, having mismatched squares of fabrics from when it would get a tear. Lilia hated that you loved it so much, she found it to be embarrassing. She hated how poor her financial situation had been when you both first met. Not that it was much better now, but you weren’t thousands of dollars in debt anymore So neither of you were going to complain.

The sound of the kettle whistling that shrilling sound. Singled that Lilia was in the kitchen, most likely sewing at the kitchen table, while nursing her 3rd or 4th cup of tea. She’d always been an early morning person, being up before dawn like clock work. It drove you mad at times, because you’d much rather wake up cuddled into her so tightly it almost hurts.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sliding the room divider that you bought at the flea market open, you smile when you’re met with a smile from Lilia. She was in her deep green silk robe, with silver lacing on the trims. A Valentine’s Day gift from you to her a couple years back. Her salt a pepper curls hanging loosely against her shoulders, and her face bare of her usual makeup. She looked beautiful, and most importantly warm. It was steamy in the kitchen, and the warm glow of the sunlight streaming through the white lace curtains made her glow like an Angel.

“Good Morning, Amuri Miu.”

Lilia’s voice helps to wake you, while you greet her with a tender kiss to the lips. She lets out a raspy moan, muffled against your lips. Her hand full of rings, curved around your back. When you break the kiss, it’s immediately followed by nuzzling your face into her neck. Feeling her soft, thin skin against your cheek.

“Comu durmìsti? Vuliti lu tè?”

Your response to her questions is a simple grunt, it’s sounded like a whine. You were feeling unusually uneasy, and your skin hurt. Holding onto her, smelling her perfume and the tangy scent of her sweat. It was a comfort that you had grown all to used to. So much so, that a couple days apart might as well been considered torture.

“I slept good, but I am still tired.”

You finally answer after you’ve spent more then a couple minutes just letting Lilia hold you her hand gently rubbing your back, while her other one was moving your hair away from your neck. The coolness of her multitude of her rings felt searing against your skin. However, in a very good way, it made you feel awake, alive, comforted. In moments where your mind felt disconnected from your body, Lilia was grounding. She made you feel real, like you weren’t just floating around in life.

Although there was an ache in your bones, that reached deep into your soul. You didn’t feel complete in the moment, your entire being craving another leave of closeness with the woman you considered to be your whole world. Wanting to merge your bodies completely, you’re veins tangling together. Hearts pulsing together, as your very earthly bodies live & die together.

The breathing of her warm breathes against you neck made the tiny hairs on the back of your neck stand up like you’d been struck with lightning. Her soft lips pressing soothing kisses lightly against the sensitive skin of your neck. Giving you silent reassurance that she’s here, she’s got you. But that wasn’t enough, in this moment. You needed to be enveloped in the warmth of her body entirely.

“My darling girl, what’s the matter?”

Lilia’s voice is gentle, with a twinge of worry seeping through. Her fingers continuing to play with the strands of your hair. You can feel her gaze so fervent that you can feel it physically. She was worried, she always worried.

“You’re not close enough.”

Your voice sounds embarrassingly small, you feel exposed, like a small child. You couldn’t help it though, you were terrified of loosing her. Loosing the sun to your moon. The earth to your ocean. The stars to your comets. Her visions only worried you, you were well aware her timeline wasn’t the same as yours. That made your mind suffer, suffocating you with the need to know she’s safe.

This prompts a deep and throaty chuckle from Lilia. She was clearly amused by how much you adored her. It made her happy, and made you feel loved. It’s a good feeling to know that she’s finally convinced that you actually adore her. It what felts like eternity for that to happen. She was so guarded, and solemn about romantic affection. Especially compliments, she was so damn stubborn when it came to compliments.

“It’s alright dear. You can have your time.”

She whispers into your ear. Placing a gentle kiss to the corner of your mouth. Her chocolate brown eyes, large and understanding. Her smile lines deepening, while her mouths turns upwards in a genuine smile.

….

Taking that opportunity, you carefully used your magic while she took hold of your hips softly. The warmth of the coral energy flowing through your veins, muscles, and blood streams. Gradually turning your 5’3 self into a size smaller then a mouse. Cupped gently in Lilia’s palms. While you blink and rub your eyes. Getting used to your new size, and how everything looked and sounded differently.

Once you adjusted, you’re met with Lilia’s kind smile. Her thumb gently caressing the top of your hair, petting you like you’re made of the most delicate glass. She had a tendency to get very soppy whenever you got tiny. As if she was looking at the cutest creature she had ever laid her eyes on. Which was exactly the case to her.

“You ready sweetheart?”

You nod, reaching your arms out when she brings you to her chest. Transferring you to only one hand, so she can use the other to pull her robe and bra from her skin. Guiding you to the crevice between her soft breasts. Her bra just big enough where it dipped down in the middle. Creating sort of a hammock, where you could tuck yourself away comfortably. Nuzzled in between her breasts. The warmth of them consuming you entirely. While she pulls her shirt back over you, and the darkness falls over you.

It was the most peaceful you’ve ever felt in your life when you were here. Nuzzled close to her heart, listening to her breathing and heartbeat. While her perfect boobies where not only keeping you warm, but also were the perfect walls, enveloping you in pure comfort. No one would ever know that you were in her bra. Unless they saw you of course. It was the perfect way that she could keep you close, keep you safe. While also combatting your thanatophobia, by letting you physically feel her heartbeat with your entire body.

Another perk was that you to quite literally go anywhere with her. When she goes to the market for fresh produce, you’re asleep in her bra. When she’s at the bank having meetings about payments plans for her debt, you’re nestled in that little hammock area. Talking notes, or kneading at her flesh gently when she gets tense. She has to work overtime? Fine, you squished yourself far into her breasts.

If it was a day where she didn’t feel like wearing a bra fine. She’s tuck you into the pocket of her pants or coat. Sneaking up crumbs of her lunch or dinner if she went out. Did you have to do it that. No, absolutely not. However, what’s the fun in being normal? Exactly. Not only did it add a layer of complexity, but it was also fun. It’s a nice way for the both of you to be together all the time. Not that you didn’t have your alone times. You did, but you preferred to be in each others presence. Being that grounding force for the both of you.

It was also good for when she had visions. Her heart rate would increase a few moments before. If you were tucked against her chest, you could warn her of a vision and get her to sit down. It was rare, but there were times where a particularly bad vision would make her loose her balance. You wanted her safe, to keep her safe the best you could. Just like she does for you.

“Would you like some tea?”

She asks you once more, humming while she goes back to making breakfast. The pop of the kettle opening, and the steam flowing into the air around you. The hot air warming her face and chest. Which only made you more content.

“Sounds nice.”

Your voice also sounds like a purr, so deeply content and a little sleepy.

“Coming right up.”

You hum out in content, while Lilia moves around. Keeping your eyes closed, used to the rocking about of her movement. The air smelt like cinnamon and basil. Lilia liked to grow her own herbs, partly to save me, but also because she was deeply connected with Mother Nature. Taking comfort, and dependence with the realms of nature. She also used cinnamon sticks for different recipes, and other bits and bobs she does. You didn’t complain, because it smelt to good. She also always added it to your tea or your hot chocolate without having to be asked.

Before you know it, you’re leaning outside the hammock of her bra. Hands holding a thimble full of herbal tea, while watching a cheesy soap opera with Lilia It was all painfully domestic, and in all honesty. Neither of you wouldn’t want it to be any other way.

…

It was around a week later, a nice Sunday afternoon. The sun was shining, almost blindingly through the open windows of the tiny one room apartment. Lilia’s pretty, lacy white bra was strung up on a nail in one of the cabinets. Where you were nestled peacefully, reading a book. Meanwhile, Lilia is standing at the kitchen counter. Using a mortar and pestle to crush and grind different herbs into healing compounds. While simultaneously reading the recipe from an old guide to natural remedies book she recently bought. She was very focused, some of her grey curled have escaped from her hair clip. Hanging loosely to frame her face, while her brows are scrunched together, lips pursed.

She looked very focused, which only made you smile even more. One of your favorite sights was seeing her in her element, so enamored with the work she is doing, using what Mother Nature had proved for her. Turning it into something useful, and potentially live saving. That’s just the kind of person she is. Also her specialty is divination, she was prompted early on to also be a healer. Although she wouldn’t claim the title herself, and firmly deny it. There was no doubt, she knew what to do when illness or minor injury would occur.

It only made you love her more.

——————————————————————————

Robe References: Lilia’s ~ Reader’s

Sicilian Word Translations (not perfect, I had to google) :

Amuri Miu - My love

Duci - Sweetie

Comu durmìsti? Vuliti lu tè? - How'd you sleep? Do you want tea? [rough translation]

107 notes · View notes