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httpiastri · 1 year ago

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this christmas – op81

ski slopes, mistletoes, and the guy you've been crushing on for years – what could be better?

genre: fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers!au, smut (just one scene in the end, you can skip it if you want)

pairing: female leclerc!reader x oscar piastri

other characters: lando norris, charles leclerc, george russell & mundt, alex albon & lily muni he, pierre gasly & kika cerqueira gomes

warnings: mentions of alcohol, smut, not much more i think

word count: 13.8k (LMAO)

requested?: yes!!

author’s note: hello hello!! a lot to say about this one. first of all, thank you to @be-your-coffee-pot for this request, and i apologize for not getting to it earlier than now. for everyone’s knowledge, the request was sent in to me in august, so… yeah. i know it’s not exactly what you asked for, but i hope you like it anyway <3

second of all, i feel pretty happy about some of these scenes, but some… not so much. some of the fillers have parts that i really despite, but i don’t really have time to rewrite since christmas is like 2 days away lol. also, my description of the reader’s relationship to charles is not my best work, idk why he barely even appears, and i’m also not sure why logan isn’t in this...

third of all, my red divider things make my posts disappear from the tags, so i didn’t put any in this time. it looks bad, i know, but idk how to fix it. if anyone does, please let me know. :)

and lastly: i only proofread this whole thing once yesterday, but tumblr was being a bitch and i got so frustrated that i do not have the energy to proofread it again. so please, if you happen to find any spelling or grammar mistakes, i would be very thankful if you let me know. <3

hope you all enjoy !!

december 12th, 2:11pm

oscar has always loved winter.

it started in his childhood; the holiday films he'd seen as a child, the way it always seemed to magically snow right on christmas eve really started something in him. it hadn't been common for him to get snow back home in australia when he was younger but once he moved to the england, he got to experience it quite a lot. playing, fighting and just existing in the snow was like an unfilled childhood need that stayed with him until his older years.

he loved spending christmas at home with his family, but ever since he got to experience real christmases with snow, trees and cozy darkness, he craved it more than he craved lying on the beach in his swimming trunks.

so when he was asked to come along to the swiss alps for a vacation during the winter break, he packed his bags right away. he and lando just happened to book the same flight, and they both arrived at the airport around noon, getting into a cab to take them to the accommodation together.

when they arrive outside the cottage, oscar is in shock; it is enormous. he had imagined just a tiny, cute little house – not that he was sure how seven drivers and a couple of girlfriends would fit in a "tiny" house – but he was far from right.

him and lando are the second pair to arrive, just about an hour after alex and lily, who are the self-proclaimed 'hosts' as they took care of all of the booking and planning.

"we thought that one would be lando's room," alex starts, pointing down the hallway. "since it's far away from everyone else, and i'm sure we all would prefer to actually get some sleep during the night time."

"oh, shut it..." lando mumbles, shoving his friend on his shoulder.

"this one can be yours, oscar," lily says, moving in the opposite direction and gesturing to another room. then, she points at the one right next to it. "and this one has two beds, so it's for charles and his sister."

oscar's ears perk up. "y/n is going to be here?" he speaks almost took quickly, making the other three turn to look at him.

"oh, i thought you knew..." lily has an apologetic look on her face.

"i must've forgotten," oscar answers, though he's completely sure no one told him about it. there's no way he would forget you. "don't worry, it's cool."

the hosts continue to move down the hallway, and the mclaren boys are just about to follow along when lando elbows oscar's side playfully. "it's cool?"

oscar raises an eyebrow, trying to keep calm. "what?"

"the youngest leclerc coming along?" a grin takes up lando's entire face. "it's just cool? is she cool, or-"

"goodbye, lando." oscar shakes his head, darting towards alex and lily again. he takes a few deep breaths, hoping the blush he can feel spreading across his cheeks isn't too obvious.

unfortunately, lando didn't need to see the blush to know. he has caught his teammate staring at you too many times over the season, and he is fully aware of the way oscar always is suddenly interested in the conversation whenever you're the topic of discussion.

lando knows everything. and this christmas, he's going to be the best wingman the world has ever seen.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 13th, 12:53am

it's past midnight when you and charles arrive. your flight had been delayed, and then the gps had stopped working all of a sudden. and then, charles just refused to drive any faster than 30 km/h, saying it was too dangerous. as if he didn't drive cars in ten times that speed without even flinching.

you assume the whole house is sleeping already, so you and charles both sneak in as quietly as you can. someone – lily, assumably – has left you a note on the front door, guiding you to your shared room. it all goes smoothly – until charles trips over the doorframe, dropping his bag onto the floor as he tries not to fall down. the sound rattles through the hallway and you flinch, stopping in your tracks as you hope no one's woken up. but just a second later, the door opposite yours opens and a head sticks out.

oscar.

your heart softens and your shoulders relax when your gaze meets his. your soft smile is mirrored on his face, the sleepiness evident in his droopy eyes and the way strands of his bedhead point in every direction.

he looks like he's just about to say something when charles speaks up. "sorry, man! were you asleep?"

he walks up to the australian, giving him a firm handshake and a pat on the back. oscar shakes his head. "i was up reading," his huskey accent is like music to your ears. "i thought i heard some rustling out here, and then..." he nods his head toward the suitcase on the floor.

your brother laughs as he steps back, walking into the room with the "leclerc" sign. "well, i'll let you get back to that then," he says, picking up the bag from the floor and looking back one last time. "good night."

and then, you were just two.

you and oscar stand still for a moment, just watching each other. then, he opens up his arms, welcoming you into his embrace. you step forward and drape your arms around his shoulders as his wrap around your waist, and you let out a content sigh. he's warm, comfortable, and the way he squeezes your body has your mind spinning.

"it's been a while," he says when you part from the hug, a soft grin playing on his lips.

"like a month," you chuckle, crossing your arms over your chest.

"a month has never felt this long before."

you're not sure when your crush on him started forming.

as someone who's always been interested in racing, even in the series your brother isn't in, you've kept up with most results and championships – including oscar's seasons in f2 and f3. after seeing oscar, the unstoppable rookie who completely crushed his season in f3, you made sure to keep an eye at him in f2 the following year. and it's easy to say that you liked what you saw. especially in jeddah.

you'd meet him occasionally around the paddock the following year, just giving him a sweet smile and a quick greeting as if it was no big deal. but you always found yourself squealing on the inside and taking deep breaths to stay calm whenever you made eye contact with him.

then came 2023 and his debut in f1. yet again, he exceeded everyone's expectations, performing better than most drivers who'd been on the grid for years. with his permanent role on the grid, he was around more – and so were you. it wasn't uncommon for the two of you to bump into each other, around the paddock or during media days or in afterparties, and now you tried not to shy away.

talking to oscar was always simple. he was easygoing, it all seemed effortless, and you felt more relaxed. before you knew it, you could chat about racing strategies and tyre management for twenty minutes before a member of the mclaren staff interrupted you, rushing oscar away somewhere. you got to know each other slowly throughout the season, though never really going further than some friendly conversations, but you felt happy knowing that you'd taken the first step towards getting closer to him.

"so..." he starts. "you've been good?"

you nod. "yeah, a lot of studying but it's been alright. you?"

"yeah."

and there it is again, that slightly awkward silence. it's natural, you haven't seen each other since that night in abu dhabi and you're both a little unsure of where you stand after it. the tension is so thick that you could cut through it with a knife, and you kind of want to escape the whole situation. but then he speaks up.

"hey, i just wanted to-"

he's interrupted by the call of your name, and when you turn around, charles is leaning against the doorframe, eyes hazy. "are you going to sleep tonight or what?" he asks, dragging a hand through his already messy hair.

you feel a weight lift off your shoulders – and at the same time, your stomach tightens in disappointment. you nod at your brother, looking back at oscar to give him a wave and a "sleep well", before joining charles in your shared room.

oscar stands still in the corridor for a moment, before sighing and slapping himself in his mind for being so awkward and messing up this opportunity. but on the other side of the door, you stand still too as you watch your brother jump onto his bed, taking a deep breath to clear your mind.

you're just thankful the room is so dark that he can't see your ever-reddening cheeks.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 13th, 10:24am

despite the never-ending pitter-patter of your heart as you went to bed last night, you could fall asleep quite quickly, seeing as you were utterly exhausted from traveling. breakfast this morning feels like you and charles have just been reunited with your childhood friends after being kidnapped for years; not like you had just gone a few weeks without seeing each other. everyone runs around hugging, chatting about how much they've missed each other and how great this trip will be.

"did you get new highlights?" kika asks you, sliding into the seat next to you by the long table as you stuff a piece of bread into your mouth. the room is a combination of a kitchen and a dining hall, with a big cooking area and a glass wall giving the dining area a beautiful view of the mountains outside. in the middle stands a long table with enough seats for all of you, filled with fresh pastries and other breakfast goods to celebrate the first day of the trip. "or is it just the light?"

"just the light," you answer, shooting her a smile as you pick up your cup of coffee.

"oh my god, i almost forgot to ask you," lily starts and places her elbows on the table, her face resting in her hands. "what happened to that guy from raya you were talking to? did you end up going out?"

oscar is sitting a few seats down the table, pretending to be immersed in a conversation with some of the other drivers about the last few races of the season, while actually just doing his best to listen in on the conversation you're having. when he hears alex's girlfriend mention raya, his ears perk up and his breath gets caught in his throat. a million thoughts instantly crash into his mind.

she's seeing someone? how could i not know this? she's on raya? is she actively looking for a partner? who is this guy they're talking about?

he coughs and tries to act normal, shaking off the uncomfortable feeling passing through his body. he soon hears the sweet sound of your wholehearted laughter, and he almost smiles instinctively at it, before he can remind himself that lando's story about las vegas isn't exactly a smiley matter. "you're not going to believe this, i have the best story," you say in-between fits of giggles. "i met up with him for some drinks, and guess what he said? that he has a foot fetish and has dreamed about me caressing his face with my feet." all of the girls squeal and explode with laughter, making some of the boys flinch and look over to see what all the commotion is about. "so, safe to say, we never met up again. and i haven't wanted to go out with anyone else from there, either. i have a feeling they're all just creeps."

"hey, don't lose hope!" kika says while elbowing your side, but her actions are too soft, forcing you to fold over as an uncomfortable feeling spreads through your body. however, a burst of laughter spills past your lips. kika immediately holds her arm back, laughing along. "crap, i'm sorry! i totally forgot how ticklish you are."

you shake your head, your hand landing on her shoulder. "no worries," you tell her. "but, i haven't lost hope. i just don't think my soulmate is lurking around on raya with the foot fetishists."

oscar feels his shoulders relax again, feeling alright with focusing back on the boys' conversation now that he knows you in fact aren't seeing anyone.

maybe he has a shot, after all. as long as he doesn't talk too much about your feet.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 14th, 3:09pm

lando thinks he's so smart.

when he tells oscar to go ask if you'd like to have some of the gingerbread cookies he's bought, it's the third time today he has forced some kind of interaction between the two of you. he is sure that the more time that the two of you spend with each other, the more likely you will be to stop pining and just confess already.

but this time, oscar glares at the brit. "why don't you ask her yourself?"

"because you know what room she's in," lando hums back, reaching into the cupboard with some groceries. "i keep getting lost, the house is too big. plus, i'm busy." he motions to the half-empty grocery bag on the counter.

oscar lets out a sigh, but nods. "how can you memorize all tracks on the calendar, but you get lost in a cabin?" he asks rhetorically, whilst turning around and making his way down the hallway towards your room.

it's not that oscar doesn't enjoy 'accidentally' being forced into talking to you; it's the extreme lack of discretion lando is showing that makes him annoyed. it makes oscar seem like he's the one coming up with silly excuses to talk to you, and he doesn't like how it makes him look. he'd rather be seen as chill, laidback, someone who doesn't force things. he doesn't want you to catch on too early and reject him.

your voice echoes a 'come in' when he knocks on the door to your bedroom, and he pushes the door open just a little to reveal you sitting on the bed, a thick blanket wrapped over your shoulders. a grin spreads across your lips when you make eye contact with him. "hi," you say, placing the book you were reading on the bedside table.

"hey," he answers, stepping inside the room. "i... lando bought some gingerbread cookies, and we were going to make some hot chocolate, and..." his voice trails off as his eyes wander down your body, taking in the christmas sweater you're wearing and the fuzzy socks covering your feet. he smiles absentmindedly at the sight, loving how cozy you seem, and wishing he was sitting right there with you, sharing the blanket.

you nod, understanding him despite his lack of words. "i'll be right there."

oscar gives you a thumbs up – one he then facepalms himself for when he's left your room – before moving towards the kitchen again. but when he walks into it, he sees something hanging from a lamp. he stops in his tracks. "no way..."

festive cookies aren't the only thing lando bought when he went to the local supermarket. he also got the ultimate tool for securing his master plan – a mistletoe.

he doesn't know how, but he's planning to make sure you and oscar meet underneath it at least once before the holidays are over. there's no way you'll both be able to avoid it all week.

of course, lando isn't the only one rooting for the two of you. most of the other drivers know too – how can they not notice the glances you share and the way you light up when someone mentions the other in a conversation? – and most of them are in on his plans. charles is probably the only one in the house who's still oblivious to your and oscar's pining, and lando thinks that he might interfere with the matchmaking if he figures something out, so the brit keeps quiet.

oscar wants to pull the mistletoe down, rip it apart and throw it in the trash, but he refrains. something inside him tells him this might actually work out in his favor – and he decides to trust his gut this time.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 15th, 2:01am

sleeping can be tricky, especially when your brother is snoring loudly in a bed just a few meters away from you.

who even decided to put him and you in the same room?

when you've been tossing and turning to no avail for about an hour, you decide it's time to do something, anything, to hopefully get a little tired again. a glass of warm milk never hurt anyone, did it?

you make your way to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of milk and put it in the microwave, before turning to look through the windows.

the view of the mountains is breathtaking. there is an untouched, thick layer of snow covering the area, with new flakes still falling. the sun set long ago, but the snow makes it all seem light. the lake below you is just barely visible by now, almost completely coated in snow.

it's completely serene, and you find yourself getting lost in the scenery. however, you're shaken out of your trance when you hear steps behind you. when you turn around, your eyes find someone standing just a few meters away, barely visible in the dark.

you jump in your place and clutch your chest in shock, not expecting anyone else to be up at this hour. when the person steps into the light of the little kitchen lap you had turned on, you relax instantly. "holy shit, oscar," you breathe. "you nearly scared me to death."

"i'm sorry," the australian chuckles. "i didn't know how to approach you without scaring you..."

"what even are you doing up?" you question, crossing your arms over your chest as you lean back against the counter.

"i was just reading in my bed when i heard your door opening, and then footsteps, so..." he trails off when his eyes wander out towards the living room, seemingly just as taken by the sight as you were just moments ago. "i wanted to make sure everything was okay."

"well, everything is okay, so..."

there's some kind of awkwardness hanging in the air. it's not only because of the obvious uncertainty of what to say or do in this situation; it has more to do with the fact that this isn't the first time that the two of you have found yourselves this close with this much tension, all alone at night. sure, it's a lot like the night of your arrival here, but another memory springs to your mind, too.

just under a month ago, following the after-party in abu dhabi, oscar had accompanied you back to the hotel when you started getting too tipsy to keep yourself up on the dance floor. your brother had been nowhere in sight, so oscar took it upon himself to help you out, draping an arm across your waist before walking you all the way to your hotel room. and when you'd arrived in the dimly lit corridor, you'd turned up towards him to thank him, accidentally brushing your nose against his as you did. both of you had broken out in giggles, neither especially sober, but you stayed close – and when the laughter settled, you just watched each other. when his gaze had flickered between your eyes and lips, your breath hitched in your throat, the anticipation growing stronger. you had leaned in even closer, your eyes fluttering closed-

but just as your lips were about to brush his, you had been interrupted. a door a few meters away had opened and the two of you jumped apart, watching as your brother stepped out and exclaimed that he had been wondering where you ended up. oscar had wished you both a good night before hurrying off, the embarrassment of almost getting caught by his friend being too much for him to handle.

you just hoped oscar had been too drunk to remember it, because otherwise, things were bound to get quite awkward. you didn't want him to act differently around you just because you have feelings for him.

thankfully, he hasn't said or done anything to make you think he does remember it.

as you're thinking back to that night in abu dhabi, you nearly get your second heart attack when the microwave goes off with a loud beep. you scramble to turn it off and take out your milk, almost burning yourself on the hot glass in the meantime.

oscar watches you with an amused grin before he forces his gaze off you, eyes wandering over to the windows again. "quite the view, huh?"

you look over your shoulder at the blanketed mountains. "yeah, it's breathtaking," you reply, before growing quiet.

he pauses for a moment, too. "there's something magical about this place. makes everything seem simpler, quieter..."

you nod. "yeah, it does."

something about the moment makes you realize that maybe, just maybe, the awkwardness between you and oscar isn't as insurmountable as you once thought it would be. the shared quietude is comfortable, and you feel at ease. he hasn't brought up abu dhabi – he probably won't, you feel – and maybe you could both just put it behind you and focus on enjoying your trip.

when you eventually get back in your bed, it's with the same kind of pitter-patter of your heart as when you and charles arrived in the cabin a few days ago. needless to say, the glass of warm milk probably isn't going to help.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 16th, 9:02pm

the mistletoe has moved.

when you first noticed it the other day, it was hanging from a kitchen lamp. and now, it's in the doorframe leading into the living room.

you're planning on avoiding it at all costs, not wanting to slip up and accidentally get under it with the wrong person. or the right one, for that matter. the awkwardness of kissing your crush in front of friends and family would be too much to handle.

some others seem to have the exact opposite attitude towards the decoration, though. kika and pierre can be found by it about ten times per day, and alex and lily have no issues sharing a few kisses whenever they "accidentally" pass it.

no matter what, lando has a mischievous grin whenever anyone mentions it, or even walks near it.

his grin stays on when he decides to let himself be in charge of the outing you all have to the christmas tree farm nearby. the farm is too big and would take too long if everyone was going to look at every tree, so lando divides everyone into groups of two based on who they're standing next to as you walk past the gates.

what a coincidence that you're standing right next to oscar when he says this.

lando ushers the two of you off to the rows with quite tall, pre-decorated trees. "so," oscar starts as you both stop in front of a tree with white lights and ornaments hung all over it. "what do you think about this one?"

"well, it's lovely," you say, scanning it thoroughly. "but isn't the true test how well it fits into the living room?"

he nods, despite his confusion, and he shoots a curious glance your way. "and how do we determine that?"

with a playful grin, you hold up an imaginary measuring tape, pretending to size up the tree with a critical eye. "i'm trying to figure out if it fits this corner best, or..."

he follows your gaze, realizing the tease in your words. "i think maybe it's better in the other corner," he hums and points to the side as you turn a little.

"exactly."

lando never inserted himself into a group; he's too focused on watching the two of you share a lighthearted laugh at the situation. though his mistletoe back in the cabin might still have a trick or two up its metaphorical sleeve, he is already proud of his matchmaking antics.

and, he is sure you'll both crack. it is just a matter of time.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 17th, 1:43pm

"i never thought skiing would be this hard," you groan as you step into a cottage, the warmth enveloping you and beginning to defrost you instantly.

oscar laughs at the exasperated tone in your voice. "this was just the kids' slope, you do remember that, right?" you stick your tongue out at him, slumping down on a bench by a table. "you just wait before you do some real skiing..."

you had never skied before today. oscar had, but he said it was too long ago and that he needed an easy start. plus, he couldn't just leave you all alone in the children's slope without an instructor.

you'd fallen over at least five times, despite the fact that the slope was practically flat. thankfully, oscar promised to buy you some hot chocolate in a cottage café to cheer you up.

when he comes back from the cashier carrying two big, steaming cups of chocolate, you've regained most of the feeling in your fingers again. the hot piece of ceramic almost burns your skin, but you think it's worth it; you need the sugar and you need it now.

"you know what the worst thing is?" you ask, bringing the cup up to your face with both hands. you start sipping on the drink and oscar glances at you with a questioning look as he slips down next to you on the bench. "carrying those goddamn skis with me. not only does it suck to actually ski, but dragging them all the way from the rental shop…"

"if it's that much of a bother, i can carry them for you."

"and carry your own too?" you scoff, watching him flinch as he burns his tongue on the drink. "you're not that strong."

he lets out a groan. "you're not even strong enough to carry your own, so you shouldn't say anything."

"i can carry them!" you protest, shooting him a glare. "i just don't want to. two very different things."

you both go silent momentarily, too busy focusing on how good it feels to no longer be frozen to the marrow. the cabin is filled with people; kids running in circles around the tables, soon to be tired again after the initial sugar shock from their afternoon snack; a group of older ladies gossiping and enjoying getting some rest just like you; and some young adults in the far corner are already busy dancing on the tables with their after-ski drinks in their hands.

"you know what? i changed my mind," you tell him, scooting away from him a little and placing your skiing boot on the bench. "these things. they're the worst."

you start to unclasp the boot, sighing in relief as you finally tug the shoe off your foot, throwing it onto the floor. you've only worn it for about an hour, but you can already feel the bruises beginning to form. you're just about to reach down to undo the other boot, too, when oscar reaches towards your foot.

your eyebrows shoot up as he takes it in his hands, pulling the foot into his lap. and then, his fingers begin to wander up and down your foot and ankle, giving you soft squeezes and pressing down on the spaces where he thinks the boot has squeezed you the most. you hold back a pleasured sound, seeing as it would sound way too inappropriate right now, but oscar subconsciously takes note of how you're getting flushed because he soon looks up at your face.

"is this okay?"

you swallow down the lump in your throat, nodding quickly. "y-yeah… just don't tickle me..."

when did things get so intimate? mere minutes ago, you couldn't think about anything other than how you were so cold your nose was going to fall off. but now, you can't stop your eyes from following his long, sleek fingers, thinking about how good they feel and imagining how good they would feel somewhere else-

"give me your other foot."

you're thankful that he interrupts your train of thought before your mind wanders too far.

compose yourself, woman.

"don't tell me you have a foot fetish, too," you tease, turning around so that you can place your other foot on the bench too. he lets out a hearty laugh, swiftly undoing your other boot before letting it drop to the ground.

"oh, shut it. do you want a massage or not?"

you shoot him pout, giving his shoulder a thankful pat before taking your cup in your hands again. you focus on the drink, watching how the steam rises and the marshmallows melt. you can't look over at him anymore, scared of your cheeks growing too red and your face giving away your feelings.

the bell by the door rings behind you, and you look towards it out of habit. and in comes alex, george, lily and carmen, laughing and chatting loudly about the black slope they just went down. oscar doesn't seem to notice, but you hastily pull your feet from his lap, sitting down properly – unfortunately making eye contact with alex as you do. he leans forward to lily, whispering something in her ear, and you watch as her eyes dart to you and a smirk grows on her lips.

shit.

the clicking of her boots against the stone floor meets your ears and oscar turns his head at the sound, suddenly realizing why you withdrew from him. "hey there," lily cheers, each of her hands landing your and oscar's shoulders. "what have you been up to?"

your eyes meet his briefly, before looking back up at lily. "just... drinking some chocolate..."

"oh, no skiing?"

"she crashed too much, i couldn't keep her out there and let her continue to embarrass me all day," oscar tells her and you shove his shoulder.

"do you mind if we join you guys?" george asks, coming around the table and not even giving you a second to think about it before he sets two cups of chocolate down on the table. the grin he's wearing only tells you one thing: alex told him already. carmen's lips show off a matching set.

"not at all..."

‎‎ ‎‎

december 18th, 10:32am

you huff as you slump down on the living room couch, your mood not even getting brought up by watching the newly installed christmas tree in front of you. you hadn't even been out skiing that much yesterday, yet every single inch of your body aches. not only do you have big, blue bruises on both of your hips due to the many times you've fallen onto the hardly packed snow, but every muscle screams with pain as you drape a blanket over your body. needless to say, you decided to stay at home today instead of heading out with the others for another round.

"are you sure you don't wanna come along?" kika asks as she enters the room, her pretty pink sunglasses perched at the top of her nose. the pout on her lips almost makes you doubt staying in, but when you move to sit up more straight again, you know you've made the right decision.

you nod, giving her a weak smile. "yeah, sorry."

"but oscar promised to come along?"

you freeze, your cheeks growing red as you hear her words.

did she know? about your feelings for him? did the others already tell her about the incident in the cottage yesterday? did they really interpret the situation that way?

"w-what?"

"oh," she chuckles at your reaction. "i just meant that he was so bad yesterday, so i thought that seeing him fall over a couple of times would be worth the pain."

"we're gonna trick him into going down a black slope with us," says pierre who walks into the room, arms lacing around his girlfriend from behind. "we'll send some clips."

you let out a breath of relief as they leave the room. maybe they don't know. maybe your secret will stay secret for a little longer.

the group leaves in pairs or trios and you tell them all goodbye from your place underneath the many blankets. everyone has left by now except for oscar, which confounds you since the others seemed to have so many plans for him. your confusion only grows when he steps into the living room without any skiing gear on, just wearing an oversized, cozy hoodie and a pair of sweats.

"why aren't you out with the others?" you question, your eyebrows raised at him.

"well," he sighs, flopping down next to you on the couch. "i can't find my helmet." when you shoot him a doubting look, he raises his hands defensively. "what?"

"i don't believe it."

"you don't have to, but it's the truth."

"how do you even lose a helmet? it's so big?" you scoff, crossing your arms over your chest. "i assumed you were used to keeping track of where your helmet is since if you don't have your helmet with you for races, then you can't race."

"i swear i put it on the drawer by the front door like half an hour ago. i don't understand what could've happened."

you have to give it to him; he is really doing his best to cover this up. you find it pretty obvious that he just doesn't want to ski because of what the others were planning to do to him. but maybe if kika and pierre hadn't spilled their plans already, you would've believed him.

"but hey," he says, bringing you out of your thoughts. "don't feel obligated to include me in whatever you were going to do here now that you finally have the house to yourself." he pushes himself off the couch, standing up and shooting you one last smile before turning to walk away. "i'll let you have some peace."

he takes a couple of steps towards the bedrooms, but then you get the idea. "oscar." he stops in his tracks, throwing a glance back at you. "i was planning on doing some baking, and…" you shuffle slightly in your seat. "it wouldn't hurt to have an extra helping hand."

"i'm a horrible baker, though."

"and i'm the best baker ever, so i guess we cancel each other out." you stand up from your seat, keeping the blanket wrapped around your shoulders as you make your way toward the kitchen. "let's go make some mediocre cookies!"

oscar shakes his head, grinning to himself as he follows behind you. this was definitely not what he had planned, but he sure is liking the way it's going.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 18th, 8:14pm

oscar had not been kidding when he said he sucked at baking.

he put in twice the needed amount of flour, and only half of the sugar. and as if that wasn't enough, of course the mistletoe had moved to the kitchen, making the whole situation quite uncomfortable as you both had to take strange routes while navigating through the kitchen to avoid it. not even your baking skills could save the cookies.

as an apology, oscar promised to buy some fancy gingerbread cookies tonight at the christmas market you'd all planned to go to in a nearby city. he was strongly set on going through with his promise, despite how many times you told him that it was alright and that they wouldn't taste as good as homemade ones anyway.

you've all been at the market for almost two hours now, but it feels like you've only gone about ten meters. your friends, mainly lando, george and alex, are stopping at every single shop and stand, making sure to check out all products and buying at least one thing in every store, no matter how long the line to the cash register is.

"lando-" you groan at the sight of the brit running into yet another store; this time, a shop filled with christmassy outfits for dogs. "he doesn't even have a pet…"

kika is grinning next to you, shaking her head. "he told me earlier today that he wanted to buy a present for roscoe if he got the chance," she says as most of the group joins lando. "makes more sense than when he bought that screwdriver thirty minutes ago just because it was green."

"the power of 'christmas colors', apparently," you hear oscar's voice from behind you, and you turn back to meet his eyes.

"well, i'm not surprised. just disappointed. and cold, and tired of standing still."

oscar points his head to the side, up the street. "i think i saw a stand a little further up that sells cookies, maybe they have some gingerbread ones."

you nod, a small smile entering your lips. "let's go check it out, then. kika, do you wanna come-"

you're cut off by the sound of pierre calling for his girlfriend, holding up a reindeer costume and blabbering on about how it would be perfect for her cousin's dog. "sorry guys," kika says before strutting off to her boyfriend.

you both shrug before walking down the street towards the stand oscar had spotted. the sugary scent of cookies meets your nose from far away, and your mouth waters at the mere thought of the sweets. when you arrive, a sweet old lady sitting behind the stand greets you and tells you all about the different cookies she's baked. gingerbread, sugar cookies with little candy canes, snowball cookies, and various traditional swiss cookies.

"would you like to have a taste, dears?" the lady asks, pointing her hand to a plate with samples. you and oscar take a gingerbread cookie each, popping it into your mouths.

"oh yeah, this is lovely," he says, looking like he's savoring every crumb.

"much better than ours," you answer, nudging his shoulder with yours. he gasps and places a hand on his chest, feigning offense.

you turn your attention back to the lady and telling her you'd love to buy a little box of cookies from her. oscar pays for them and she wraps the box in some pretty gift paper, handing it to you before you continue making your way down the street. the house walls and all trees are wrapped in christmas lights, some blinking in random colors and some with a soft glow of an elegant white. the streets are filled with people wearing santa hats, ugly christmas sweaters, and scarves so big half of their faces are covered. there's not a single frown in sight, the happiness and love so obvious you can almost see little hearts flowing above everyone's heads.

you glance into a couple of different stores as you stroll, stopping occasionally to check something out. when you reach a stand with different kinds of jewelry, something catches your eye: a golden necklace with a heart-shaped charm hanging from it. you carefully pick it up, your heart fluttering in your chest as you inspect it.

and when you look up at oscar from the necklace in your hands, he feels like the air is stolen from his lungs. your eyes are twinkling with happiness, outshining all lights in the entire christmas market. the excited smile on your lips is contagious, and suddenly, it's like the world around you has stopped and everyone else has disappeared. you're both just grinning at each other like two lovestruck fools, nothing in either of your minds other than the person in front of you. the sight of your rosy cheeks from the cold makes the butterflies in his stomach multiply by the second.

wow, he really is totally and fully whipped.

"really pretty," he finally gets out, unsure if he's talking about the necklace or the woman standing before him.

"pretty? it's gorgeous," you answer, eyes flickering back to the jewelry in your hand. "i adore it. how much is it?"

just as the guy in the booth is about to answer, you feel someone grab your free hand. "come on guys, they're closing down soon and we still have a bunch of shops to visit!" kika is pulling you along so fast you barely have time to put the necklace down.

lily notices the disappointment on your face and pats your shoulder. "we'll come back here sometime before christmas, don't worry."

lando shows you the christmas tree costume he bought as you wander down the market again, but oscar suddenly stops. "guys, i forgot my phone back at the cookie stand. keep walking, i'll catch up with you," he says, pointing behind him with his thumb and disappearing before anyone can say anything.

it's a good excuse, but you clearly see the outline of his phone in his back pocket as he hurries down the street.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 19th, 9:22pm

the days roll on with a gentle rhythm of shared glances and fleeting touches between you and oscar. unbeknownst to both of you, lando, ever the persistent wingman, continues his behind-the-scenes matchmaking efforts.

in some magical way, lando manages to get you and oscar paired up for pretty much anything. board game night? you and oscar just happen to get the exact role cards that make you teammates. time for some ornament decorating? you and oscar are the only ones who don't get a seat on the couch, having to sit on the floor together and share all your materials.

funnily enough, it never gets awkward between the two of you. even when you are left all alone, there is always something to talk about, some dumb thing lando has done that you can tease him about behind his back, or something you are curious about when it comes to his racing career so far. somehow, being with oscar started feeling comfortable, natural, unforced.

one specific night, alex comes up with the idea of playing card games, to which only a few of you are actually interested. some plan on going to bed early so they can hit the slopes first thing in the morning, while others just aren't in the mood. oscar said he would just finish wrapping some christmas presents and join you all later, and you catch yourself feeling disappointed that he's not on the couch next to you, helping you win (or taunting you to make you lose). it surprises you how much you're drawn to him, how it feels like something is missing when he isn't around, when you didn't feel this way just a few days ago.

you try to shake the feeling off, but it's still lingering even as you start playing with your friends. eventually, you excuse yourself to get a glass of water from the kitchen to take your mind off things. but-

just as you round the corner going into the kitchen, your head crashes into something hard. you shriek as you stumble, hands coming up to grab the person in front of you as you lose your balance, but a pair of hands wrap around your back, holding you up. when you look up, you're met with oscar's big brown eyes blinking down at you. "you okay there?"

you let out a relieved breath, nodding at him. "yeah, thanks to you. what were you doing coming around the corner that fast, though?"

he chuckles. "what were you doing not looking where you're going?"

"touché."

your hands are still holding on to the front of his hoodie, and you're about to let go of him and walk away when you notice something in the upper periphery of your vision. something is hanging above you. but, it can't be-

of course it is.

the mistletoe.

oscar looks up just as you do, jaw dropping slightly. "oh..."

"indeed..."

you both keep your vision pointed up, as if the mistletoe would disappear if you just keep on staring at it. oscar's hands slowly begin to slide off your back, and he's hoping you'll both just pretend like none of this ever happened. it would be the least awkward thing to do.

"maybe-" his breath hitches in his throat when you speak up. his gaze is on you again, but you're still looking at the plant. "maybe we should do it. just... for the christmas spirit, you know. i love christmas."

you don't even know what you're blabbering on about. you're trying to improvise a reason to kiss your brother's colleague that makes at least a little sense, but you're completely lost. you realize how dumb you sound, and you expect to see him staring at you like you actually are insane when you look back at him.

but what you don't know is that he thinks it's the best idea ever. he is just as into it as you are, if not more. he doesn't look at you like you're crazy; he's just dumbfounded, blinking at you as he tries to understand what's happening. did the girl he likes really just say they should kiss? because she loves christmas?

oscar gulps, but something in him gives him the courage to nod. "i mean," he starts, voice weak. "what's the harm? it's just... tradition."

"right. yeah, that's exactly what i was thinking."

the tension is higher than ever as your faces are already just inches apart. you aren't sure who should take the initiative and lean in, but before you can overthink it, you're both doing it subconsciously. your noses brush against each other briefly and a little giggle escapes past your lips, and this whole situation feels very familiar. this time, oscar can't hold back anymore, so he closes the gap and presses his mouth to yours.

the kiss is quick, not much longer than a peck, but something changes inside you. when you didn't know what it felt like to kiss oscar, you didn't think too much about it. but now that you have felt his lips on yours, you crave it.

he seems to feel the same way, because when you kiss him again, he's pressing against you instantly. your hands move from his chest to his shoulders as your lips move in sync, tilting your head to get a better angle. oscar's touch travels up and down your sides, fingers grazing the bare skin of your stomach when your sweater lifts.

oscar takes your bottom lip in between his teeth and you let out a hum, making him grin into the kiss. his tongue swipes between your lips before slipping into your mouth, exploring it for the first, but hopefully not last, time. you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer, already growing hot as his hands move down to your butt.

kissing oscar is so easy, so comfortable. it's like you've done it so many times before, like it's what you were made to do.

you're so relaxed and so focused on the kiss that you don't even hear lando's footsteps right next to you, nor his snicker from a few meters away as he picks up his phone to snap a couple of pictures. you don't even hear him strutting away to the living room, nor his loud proclamation to the group: mission complete.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 23rd, 8:35am

the rest of the days leading up to christmas consist of a lot of sneaking around.

the days are filled with secretive kisses when you're sure no one is watching, fleeting pecks or longer liplocks, hurriedly parting and acting like nothing happened when you hear approaching footsteps. they're filled with soft brushes as you pass each other in hallways, little squeezes of your waist or his arm when someone is around, conveying more than anyone could guess. and they're filled with giant, knowing smiles matching on your lips, with longing gazes and sly winks across the dinner table.

now, his hand is warm in yours despite the freezing temperatures of the air. when you said you forgot your mittens in the cabin, oscar had just smiled, taking off one of his own to give it to you. and to heat your other hand, he intertwined his fingers with yours, his thumb stroking the back of your hand as you walked.

you'd slipped out of the house before anyone else had woken up, wishing for a peaceful moment for yourselves. the two of you haven't really had time to properly talk ever since your moment under the mistletoe, and even though it wasn't outspoken, you both knew there were things to be discussed.

you're halfway around the lake when he finally touches on the subject. "so..." he starts, nudging your shoulder with his. "you like me, huh?"

you snicker. "i have for quite some time now, actually."

his hand squeezes yours. "tell me about it."

and when he asks, you tell.

you tell him about seeing him all those years ago, thinking that he was just a pretty face, a good driver, and not much else. you tell him about getting to know him more and more in the last two years and realizing that shit, he's so much more than that. you tell him about the butterflies, about the sneaky glances, about falling for him.

and then, he tells you his side.

he tells you about knowing of you from your first appearances in the f1 paddock, the curiosity in him growing for every picture of you and charles he saw. he tells you about wanting to approach you but not knowing how, not wanting to come off too strong or clingy. he tells you about how nothing has ever been more disappointing to him than charles's timing back in abu dhabi. then, he tells you about how his fingers had secretly been crossed all trip, hoping that lando's attempts to pair the two of you up wouldn't fall through.

you share giggles and smiles as you tell your stories, and it all feels so natural even though it's so new. and you think to yourself that maybe, this won't be so hard to get used to.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 23rd, 5:46pm

"how are things going with oscar?"

lily's voice makes your heart skip a beat. you had just walked into the kitchen to grab a gingerbread cookie, not expecting her to be doing the dishes this late in the evening – and especially not expecting her to ask you something like that. "what do you mean?" you ask back, trying to stay composed as you strut over to the cupboard, reaching into it for the box of cookies.

"are you going to be like... boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

the box slips out of your hands and crashes to the floor before you can catch it again. did you hear her correctly? your eyebrows shoot up and your mouth hangs open as you look at her again. she scoffs.

"oh please, the two of you aren't exactly sneaky," she says, looking back into the sink. "you know, lando took pictures of you under the mistletoe. and we all saw you coming back from your little trip to the lake earlier today."

"oh my god." you cover your face with your hands, letting out a groan. "oh my god. no way."

lily laughs, washing the last few plates under the tap before placing them on the side to drain. "don't worry, we were all in on it."

"and what does that mean?!"

"lando had a plan." of course he did. "we all agreed to help him out. except charles, he's still oblivious."

"what kind of plan?"

"well, just small things here and there, really." she wipes her hands on a towel before turning around and leaning against the counter. "hiding oscar's helmet so he'd have to stay here with you instead of skiing with us. walking really slowly in the market so you'd both get so tired of us that you'd stroll off alone. and the mistletoe, but that's obvious..."

as lily spills the details of lando's plan, you feel a mix of embarrassment and surprise, along with a hint of amusement. you're suddenly very aware of the collaboration that has taken place behind the scenes, and you take a deep breath as you slowly lower your hands from your face.

"so... lando really orchestrated all of this?" you exclaim, still trying to process the fact that your friends have been actively working to bring you and oscar closer together.

lily chuckles, nodding. "yes, and he's been loving every moment of it. we all figured you two needed a little push."

you shake your head in disbelief, a smile playing on your lips despite the initial shock. "what's the endgame here? is lando secretly a matchmaker or something?"

"he wishes," she says with a smirk. "i think he just enjoys playing cupid when he can." she shrugs, crossing her arms over her chest. "but hey, it worked out well, didn't it? you and oscar seem pretty cozy."

"yeah, i guess..." the mention of oscar brings a blush to your cheeks. "i just didn't expect to have a whole team of co-conspirators."

lily laughs, stepping forward to pat your shoulder. "it's all in good fun. besides, it's about time something happened between you two." you nod in agreement, smiling at her. "now, spill. how are you feeling about all of this? is he boyfriend material?"

you hesitate for a moment, contemplating your newfound dynamic with oscar. a smile tugs at the corners of your lips. "yeah, maybe. we're figuring it out, i guess. it's all been... surprisingly nice."

she grins, satisfied with your response. "well, then, i'd say lando's plan was a success." she backs away, walking towards the kitchen exit. "just enjoy it, okay? and don't be too mad at us. we just wanted to see you both happy."

you nod and watch as she leaves, still processing the directed events that have led up to this moment. as you're left alone, you can't help but smile to yourself at the thought of everything that's happened – and everything that's yet to come.

suddenly, for the first time in your life, you feel thankful for something lando has done. you'll have to remember to thank him later.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 24th, 10:23pm

just a few hours ago, charles was challenged to a snowball fight with the rest of the twitch quartet. and how could he ever say no to them?

for you to fall asleep before he got back would just be stupid, because there's no way he will be able to keep quiet when he eventually he crashes into the room post-fight. so instead, you sit against the headboard of your bed, a thick blanket draped over your body and a good book in your hands as you enjoy the tranquility of the last few moments of christmas eve.

there's a soft knock on the door, one so low you could've just as well missed it. "come in," you call out, looking up from your book as the door creaks open. surprise paints your face as oscar enters the room, his eyes sparkling with the thrill of carrying out a secret mission.

in his hands, oscar holds a beautifully wrapped box, adorned with a crimson bow. "merry christmas."

"oscar, what are you up to?" you ask, laughter dancing in your eyes.

"giving you your present." he sits at your feet, holding out the present to you.

you place your book beside you on the bed, accepting the gift with a curious smile. you unwrap the present, and as you remove the lid of the box and your eyes are met with a necklace, your breath hitches in your throat.

the heart-shaped pendant is familiar – it's the exact necklace you'd eyed in the christmas market. you look up at oscar, a myriad of emotions playing on your face. "i didn't forget my phone," he admits, a hint of vulnerability in his gaze. "i just really wanted to get it for you."

speechless, you delicately trace the edges of the pendant with your fingers. "oscar, i..."

"it's a christmas gift, but you can wear it whenever you want."

you hold the necklace up to him. "like now?"

he nods and takes it from you as you turn around, brushing away your hair so that he can secure the chain around your neck. when you turn back, you catch the glint of admiration in his eyes. "you look beautiful."

you hold the pendant between your thumb and pointer finger, a silent acknowledgment of the connection formed by the gift. "it's perfect, oscar. thank you." you tilt your head, smiling at him. "you're not getting your gift until tomorrow, though."

"just seeing you with this necklace is enough of a present for me. i don't need anything else."

‎‎ ‎‎‎

december 25th, 6:04pm

christmas day morning is for gift exchanges. you all sit around the tree in the living room, giving out presents and sharing the background stories behind the silly little things you've bought each other. you receive a ton of random objects that people had bought that day in the christmas market; objects they bought just to irritate you and oscar. now that you know, you find it quite funny – and seeing charles's confused face as you unwrapped a green screwdriver from lando is definitely one of your highlights of the day.

your present to oscar is, obviously, better planned than most other gifts. beneath the wrapper is a box titled "skiing survival kit" written in big, red letters. in it lies a pair of thick socks (with a note reading "to protect your feet from those horrible boots"), a bag of hot chocolate mix ("for moments when skiing feels too challenging; a little warmth to make everything better"), a bottle of peppermint-scented massaging oil ("you never know when you find yourself in need of a massage..."), and a handwritten letter about how you enjoyed your stay in the cottage much more than the actual skiing and a promise to stay in and warm his chair for him next time he's out "skiing".

then, midday rolls around. the chefs of the group, also known as the few people who don't burn everything they attempt to cook, take their time to make a good dinner. in the meantime, the rest of you prepare some games and competitions, including a trivia, a snow fort building competition, and a gingerbread house-decorating contest that ended in lando letting his competitiveness get the best of him. safe to say that no other gingerbread houses were still standing, other than lando's, meaning the brit won by default. his price: getting thrown in the snow in just his pyjamas.

and the evening? it's dedicated to a movie marathon, as per russell family traditions.

it has all been planned into the finest detail; the couch in the living room is decorated with blankets and pillows, nearly every bowl in the house is filled to the brim with snacks, and mattresses and pillows on the floor for those who don't fit on the couch. everyone was included of the vote of what movie you were going to see, though you had a feeling george had cheated when you were told the 'home alone' series won. especially since it's the one series he hasn't been able to stop talking about wanting to watch all trip.

you're settled on the edge of the couch, a blanket wrapped over your shoulders and your knees pulled up to your chest. you're laughing along with something kika has said from right next to you when you hear a beep from the kitchen, indicating that the last bag of popcorn was ready. you assumed lando would be getting up to fetch it, seeing as he was the one who insisted you needed one more bag, but when your eyes find him, he sits very contently and comfortably a few seats away. he looks back at you, eyebrows rising as you make eye contact.

"hey, you're the closest to the kitchen," he says, nodding his head in your direction. "go get them."

he isn't wrong, but he still makes no sense. "no way, norris."

he pouts. "please, be quick so we can start the movie already."

"you suck."

he sticks out his tongue at you but you've already walked off. when you return, a new bowl filled with popcorn in your arms, you aren't exactly surprised to see lando in the seat that used to be yours. you shoot him a glare, to which he answers, "i could barely see the tv from where i was sitting!"

"oh, but you think i'll be able to?" you scoff at the way he shrugs his shoulders, seemingly to say that it's now none of his business. and when you look at his old seat, you are even less surprised to see who's sitting right next to it.

oscar is looking up at you, confusion mixing into his features. he's been scrolling on his phone for the last few minutes and didn't notice when his teammate left him alone.

neither of you complain when you slip into lando's old spot, though. oscar immediately grabs the blanket in his lap and drapes it over you too. you shuffle closer to him as the movie turns on, the soft fabric of his pyjama pants brushing against yours. the bowl of popcorn is propped up on your lap, and when you reach into it to grab a handful, it touches something warm. you rip your eyes from the tv to see your hand brushing against oscar's. of course.

considering the other touches and kisses you've shared these last few days, it's not even a very intimate action. and yet, something about it leaves both of you giggling.

"so many clichés this trip, huh?" he says, eyes flickering between your hands and your face.

instead of answering, you grab his hand in yours. your fingers slip in between his easily, as they've done so many times these last few days, but you pull your hands underneath the blanket to keep them out of sight from everyone else.

it's a good movie, but it's easy for you to zone out when you feel oscar's hand squeeze yours. neither of you can really stay away from the other, inching closer as the movie progresses and stealing little cheek kisses when everyone is focused on the most exciting scenes. and when you start to grow a little tired, your head instinctively lands on his shoulder as you let out a little yawn. oscar desperately has to hold himself back from cooing at you, feeling so soft and prideful that you're leaning on him, and he settles for leaning his own head on you.

you both think you're being subtle, but everyone in the room understands what's going on. even charles, who has now been let in on what's happened between you and oscar after he walked in on lando telling alex about how cute the new couple in the house looked walking around the lake, can't take his eyes off the two of you. as your older brother, he feels like he should be doing something or saying something to protect you. he wonders what his role should be here – aren't brothers supposed to scare their sisters' boyfriends away?

but charles realizes that oscar isn't an enemy. in this moment, you look so peaceful, so content; like you've found the the long-lost puzzle piece to make you complete. how could he possibly interrupt that?

‎‎ ‎‎

december 25th, 11:28pm

charles is still fast asleep on the couch when you slip into oscar's room after the movie has ended, fingers intertwined and your laughter mixing as he pulls you along to his bed. his hands find your hips as he sits down on the edge of the bed, urging you to lower yourself onto his lap, and you happily oblige.

"look up," he says, and when you do, you're not surprised by what's hanging in the roof.

the mistletoe.

"oh," you start, looking back at him. last time you found yourself underneath the mistletoe with oscar, you had been more nervous than ever before. but this time, it isn't as scary. this time, you're able to shrug, a teasing grin forming on your lips. "i guess we should kiss, then. just for the christmas spirit, you know."

his lips are curved into a big smile. "oh, i do know." one of his hands comes up to tuck some hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek in his palm. "it's because you love christmas."

you can't hold back from giggling, and neither can he, both of you leaning in to seal your lips. your first encounter underneath the mistletoe was hesitant, but it feels like that was ages ago, in another lifetime. now, with his lips pressing against yours, it feels like it's all you've known.

he's so gentle with it, his kisses delicate and tender, and your heart flutters at the feeling. his hands land on your waist as your arms wrap around his neck, scooting in even closer. when your crotch brushes against him, he involuntarily lets out a moan into your mouth, and you stop for a moment to pull away. both your eyes and his are wide as you look at each other, and oscar doesn't know what to say. his mind is racing, not sure if you thought that was awkward or too soon or-

"that's so fucking hot," you say, and he finally exhales. you kiss him again, speaking against his lips. "wanna hear more."

he has no problems letting out more sounds when you keep up your actions, your hips rolling down on him rhythmically. his hands find the hem of your sweater and slip inside, instantly roaming your sides. his cold touch tickles, and when his fingers move along your waist, you can't help but giggle against his lips. he laughs along with you, but he only does it to match you. he's dumbfounded when you part from him and you grab his wrists to make him halt.

"you're too cold," you start, a bit breathless already. "it's-"

"are you really that ticklish?" he chuckles, fingers running up and down your sides again to test you, and his heart melts when you throw your head back, laughing. "oh come on, how am i supposed to do this if i can't touch you?"

"warm your fingers next time and we should be fine."

"next time, huh?" a combination of a smirk and a grin plays on his lips. "planning ahead?"

"well, it depends on how well you perform tonight." he sticks out his tongue at your taunting tone. "just take it off already, will you?"

oscar happily obliges, pulling the material off you before reaching for his own sweater, throwing them both onto the floor. his eyes stick to your chest, to the soft, red bed bra holding up your breasts, and he feels himself growing harder instantly, because this is so much better than he'd imagined. you can't exactly complain about what your eyes are met with, either; oscar's toned chest and his broad shoulders are basically calling out for you to come and press your lips to them. or sink your teeth in them. probably both.

he gives you a few quick kisses before his hands land on your hips and he flips you both around, laying you onto the covers. his lips meet the skin below your ear, and then travel down the side of your neck. he hears your breath hitch in your throat when he finds a spot you enjoy particularly much, making sure to memorize it for the future. and when his kisses trail even further down, they meet something hard and metallic. when he leans back, he realizes that you're wearing the necklace.

he didn't notice it until now, since he was too busy being mesmerized by your breasts earlier; but now, he can't take his eyes off it. the little heart charm rests just above your actual heart, and something about seeing it makes his heart flutter. the necklace he bought for you, the one that makes you think of him and only him. it's like you're already tagged as his.

"cute," he whispers to himself, placing a long kiss right on top of the heart. he can feel your real heart beating underneath his lips, fast but not really enough, and he can't wait to make you feel like it's pounding out of your chest.

he starts placing open-mouthed kisses down your stomach, his hands finding the waistband of your sweatpants.

"you okay with me taking these off?" he asks, parting from your skin to watch you nod your head. he pulls the material down your body, smiling when your underwear comes into sight. they're not a pair of lacy lingerie or victoria's secret-lookalikes, but just a regular pair of panties in a deep green color with little candy canes. his eyes flicker between your bra and your panties. "green and red, huh?"

"well, what can i say?" you smile. "i love christmas." he giggles, and so do you, as he leaves your pants somewhere on the floor before moving further down your body. when his hands near the fuzzy socks with little cartoon santas dressing your feet, you're quick to speak. "those stay on, though."

"oh, is that so?"

"gotta make sure you're not just doing this for that foot fetish you might or might not have." a laughter erupts from his chest. "i've had too much of that recently."

"well, i don't have one, so i don't mind you keeping them on." he moves up on the bed again, fingers reaching the hem of your underwear. "but i can take these off, right?"

"things would get kinda tricky otherwise, i'd say,” you tease, but oscar merely blinks up at you with raised eyebrows.

"tricky, yes. but not impossible."

you shake your head, a grin making its way onto your lips. "next time, oscar."

and there it is again. next time. the way you say it so casually, like there's no doubt in your mind that there will be another time, that you'll do all of this again.

yet again, instant boner.

your panties are off in a second, and he doesn't waste any time before pressing his lips to the inside of your thigh. his hand takes care of your other thigh, thumb brushing up and down your skin, as your lips travel closer and closer to where you want him the most.

you suck in a breath when you feel his warm breath against your core. his tongue meets your clit and your eyes flutter closed, one of your hands reaching down to entangle in his hair. as his tongue draws circles around your bud, one of his hands leaves your thigh, a finger swiping along your wet folds before pushing slowly into you. you don't know which sensation to focus on, both growing stronger and pushing you closer to your limit every passing second. when he's pumped you a couple of times, he adds another finger and then another, pushing deep into you. his fingers curling inside of you makes you pull on his hair even harder, your mind growing hazy and your breaths shorter.

"o-oscar," you let out, subconsciously buckling your hips towards him in hopes of creating more friction. "i'm so clos-"

you're cut off by the combination of a moan and a whine that leaves your lips when his tongue flicking your clit speeds up. "come for me, sweetheart," he tells you, his voice sending vibrations against your core.

your legs shake around him as you completely let go, feeling the climax wash over you just moments after his order. your free arm drapes over your face, covering your eyes in your arm as you try to catch your breath. oscar continues lapping you up, helping you ride it out, also licking his fingers clean before letting his hands caress your sides soothingly. he's unsure whether his fingers are warm enough now to not tickle you, or if you're just too busy coming down from your high to even realize you should feel ticklish, but he smiles at the thought nonetheless.

"everything alright up here?" oscar asks as he moves up to your face again, one of his hands prying the arm off your face. you slowly open your eyes, your hazy gaze meeting his loving one and you can't help but to cup his face in your hands. you pull him down to your lips, lazily lacing them together. he pulls away just enough for his lips to still brush yours when he speaks. "i'll take that as a yes."

you're quick to nod, but even quicker to connect his lips with yours again, not wanting to be apart for even a second.

your hands slide down his neck and the front of his body, loving the feeling of his strong muscles under your touch. your fingers reach down to the edge of his pajama pants, and you let out a chuckle when you notice the ever-growing tent in them. "don't laugh at me," he starts, biting down on your bottom lip as a warning. "you're so hot, how could i not get this hard?"

"oh, shut it," you say, feeling a blush creep onto your cheeks. "just take them off, will you?"

"as you wish."

as he shuffles off the bed and pulls off his own pants, plus his boxers along with them, you take the time to reach behind you and unclasp your bra, letting it slide down your arms and off the bed. when he reaches into the bedside table and pulls out a condom, you raise your eyebrows. "oh, so you were planning this?"

he shakes his head as he climbs on top of you again. "i was hoping, not expecting. those are two very different things." he removes the wrapper and throws it onto the table, rolling the condom onto himself. "do you need anything? or-"

"just you."

oscar presses his smile to yours, kissing you like he has no rush in the world, like he just wants to savor this moment with you. "well then," he says against your lips, nudging his dick against your entrance. "i have to give the lady what she wants, don't i?"

you can't control the whine that slips into his mouth when he pushes into you. you thought you were ready for him, but he's so big and he stretches you out so perfectly. he pauses once he's slipped entirely into you, his lips finding a spot below your ear as he allows you to get used to him. your pussy is throbbing already, still sensitive from just minutes ago, and the little involuntary clenches around him make oscar grow more and more eager.

when he finally starts moving, you drape your arms around his shoulders for stability. his thrusts are slow but deep, and yet you desperately want more of him. you hook a leg over his hip, the other following soon after, and you gasp at the way he bottoms you out completely. one of his hands comes up to squeeze your breast, thumb flicking over the nipple as his pace speeds up. the sounds you make and the way your legs squeeze him close makes him feel like he could cum anytime, but he tries to hold back because he needs to see you fall apart beneath him for the second time tonight.

"oscar..." you cry out when his free hand slides down your body, a finger coming in contact with your clit again.

"just a little more, love." his thrusts have grown sloppy and his figures on your bud aren't exactly perfect, but it's good enough for your orgasm to hit.

your back arches off the bed, your chest pressing into his as you nuzzle your face into the side of his neck to hide your moans. when your walls tighten around him, he reaches his high too, his body shaking as he rides it out. your heart is about ready to jump out of your chest when he collapses onto you, both of you trying to catch your breaths. "holy fuck," oscar starts, his breath warm on your skin. "that was amazing. you feel amazing." you try to gather energy to speak, fingers getting lost in his curls. "you taste amazing, too. better than any christmas dinner."

you give him a weak slap to his shoulder. "shush."

"it's true!" he pushes himself back a bit, mouth hanging in mock offense. "this was the best present i could've ever wished for."

"the necklace is higher on my list, though."

oscar pauses for a moment. "i'm not sure if i should feel proud or offended."

you snicker. "i was hoping for the latter," you tease, but regret it the moment oscar's hands find your waist, fingers dancing along it and tickling you yet again. the squeal you let out does nothing to halt his actions, and he doesn't even budge when you try to push him away by his shoulders. "i was kidding!"

"apologize. now."

his fingers still working their way on your skin make it almost impossible for you to speak again, but you do your best to take a deep breath. "i'm- i'm sorry! oscar- stop it!"

he finally stops, and you finally get to breathe. "i'll go get a wet towel," oscar says, pulling away from you and giving you one last glance. he almost doesn't leave the bed when he looks at you, though – he finds the sight almost too good to be true. your rosy cheeks, the dreamy smile on your lips, your hair spread out on the pillows. he's scared that if he leaves you, maybe the spell will be broken and he'll realize all of this has just been a dream. because that's just how this all feels: surreal.

but it is real, and he can't wait to have you like this in his bed again.

‎‎ ‎‎

december 26th, 12:56pm

packing up after a good trip is always a bittersweet affair. realizing that you have the real world waiting for you, your actual lives with responsibilities and obligations, and that you can't just stay in this fairytale forever – this moment was definitely not something you looked forward to.

you and charles need to get back to monaco to celebrate christmas with your other brothers and your mother, before he needs to go away for pre-season work again. you're meticulously folding up your clothes, zipping up bags and exchanging smiles as you reminisce on memories of the week.

but, things are different this time. you know that the magic of this trip isn't going to stay here – in one way or another, you'll bring some of it with you back to your real life.

oscar.

you've already made plans to meet up after new years, and even when he's busy with work, you know that you'll at least see him during every race weekend. neither of you are ever more than a flight, or a call, away, and you just can't wait to see where this all takes you.

"so... oscar, huh?" charles's voice breaks the silence, his eyes glancing in the direction of your open door that lets in the sound of oscar's voice from the living room.

"hm? what about him?" you reply, trying to hold back the smile threatening to adorn your lips when you hear his name.

charles cocks an eyebrow at you. "you and him... kind of obvious." he gazes towards your bed. "besides, your bed is made. you didn't sleep here last night."

"well, i-" you start, but charles interrupts with a knowing chuckle.

"relax, i'm not going to be a police. just..." he shows off a sweet smile. "enjoy it."

with a nod and a shared understanding, you both continue packing, an unspoken acknowledgment hanging in the air. the group gathers to bid you farewell by the front door, and gratitude fills your heart as you exchange goodbyes with your friends. you grow especially soft when lando pulls you into a hug, a cheeky grin on his lips. "thank you," you whisper, giving his cheek a quick peck to really convey how much you appreciate everything he's done this holiday. he just squeezes you back, telling you not to worry about it.

finally, as you turn to say your farewell to oscar, the atmosphere shifts and the group watches with amused anticipation. "until next time," you say, your eyes holding a promise that transcends the physical distance.

"until next time," he repeats, smiling as you engulf him in a tight hug.

you pull away just enough for your ear to brush against his ear, your voice low. "charles knows, by the way."

"w-what?" his eyes widen for a moment, flickering between you and your brother – but then realization dawns. "well, in that case..."

before you can react, oscar pulls you closer again. he presses a goodbye-kiss on your lips, right there in front of everyone, and the group erupts into cheers.

and the loudest of them all? lando, of course. "if i'm not the best man at your wedding, i'll never forgive you guys."

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theoccultz · 6 months ago

Text

How do they really see you ?

Req.

Minors dni (18+ mention's )

General reading, take what resonates , leave what doesn't

Pics and dividers not mine , credits to their rightful owners

Thank you for all the reblogs , likes and comments i appreciate it 🖤

See ya at your pile !!

Pile l . Pile ll. Pile lll.

Pile 1 .

Queen of wands , 8ofpentacles, 4ofpentacles

Hyena

They see you as helpful and relient you will pass the opportunity if you feel like others need it more ,you guys are good at guiding others you may be a teacher or you're just that friend who is able to decode easily you can read faces like a book you guys look well put together you may know what suits you and what doesn't very well . They think you get a lot of attention although you look interested in what others have to say , your mind wonders somewhere else you may have r-b-f so its hard to read to read your expressions , you're professional in a sense . you look relaxed most of the time they may see you working a lot you always seem to be focused on something, they think others bother you ,people want to talk to you but they dont respect your boundaries and they kinda feel you get annoyed when someone is interrupting you in your day to day life , they thought you were arrogant when they first met you but they've gotten used to your rbf ,they understand it was them projecting.

They think you love food and you take care of your health, they think you have good hygiene, you may style your hair or they like your hair , you respect others space ,if you say No others wouldn't force you because there's this sternness in your voice , they think you're closed off though you may interact with others you kind of hate spending too much time with others , they love whatever language you can speak i'm picking up on an accent here , they think you have a graceful presence like say there's a meeting or a party you have dressed up exactly how the dress code expect you to be , they think you are a minimalist . You are not that person who sings like they own the party there's something very ethical and well mannered.You seem to do your own thing i dont think you need help in almost anything, you can figure out things for yourself this person seems to be impressed with your qualities or persona because they're somewhat like this too and they think its a rare quality to have . They think you're more head than heart /intellectual maybe ? They dont like to think of themselves as helpless and you exactly seem to replicate that , they think people are fake these days and would stab you without a second thought , this person is not like this they are loyal until they die , either you are this gossip bee just trying to be someone you're not LMAO this person has seen you turn down others it was satisfactory, there's a lot of gossip bess here hmmm , anyway they think you dont give a shit ☠️✋🏼 although its risky and you have to give in to social pressure but you just mind your own business even though you know about the disadvantages . Yeah

They think you shouldn't be disturbed for some reason , not like you're a wild person who'll start yelling at them but they just see you enjoying your presence and being relaxed?they dont think you get excited about a lot of things like you're very Sophisticated, you dont play games . I dont know if you speak to this person but this person is down bad for your voice ,for your vocabulary like what ...???they think you're kind of cutthroat that you can hurt them with your words if they mess with you ,thry think you have anger issues but they like it 😭a bad bitch with anger issues ? yes sir ....they may have seen you lash out and they think its for everyone's good you are silent fff this person was turned on .

They think you're very sweet & cute although no one would agree with them , they seem to look for you when you're not there like they randomly start to think about you , they kinda miss you when you're not around, this person unknowingly observes you i'm seeing a vision of someone working and the other person is like 👁️👄👁️ , this person is atrracted to your essence they're addicted to your mannerisms idk who is this ...could be a boss , a friend, but they really admire you , this person is a powerful person themselves, they share a good connections with others, they're more good at understanding & convincing others than you . They think how you're are a free thinker , you love to learn about things , you guys are great advice givers ,you guys are very open and direct to the point it intimidates them , you look youthful and dress creative you have energetic boundaries they wouldn't wanna touch , you guys carry individualistic quality,you dont get easily influence by societal norms , you're not gonna follow everything the world puts out , you use your own guidance.This is someone who has gained interest in you after a long time , you may knew each other or knew of each other but you didn't really care at first , i see even if this is a platonic connection the feelings are developing, this person finds you really beautiful physically and wants to be closer but they themselves is a little aloof and doent like to get attach to anyone ,they're everyone's friend but who is actually "their" friend? This person seems be a professional, they are mindful and careful unlike pile 3's person , this person do not wear this heart on their sleeve , they are over prorective of themselves, this person is still on that stage of getting to know you , like they think a LOTT.

Song : damn is this an ex?

Thanks for reading !!

Pile ll.

Ace of pentacles, king of swords , the high priestess

Black swan

They see you as someone who'll be victorious wherever you are , you have a likeable personality and a charming aura that really draws others to you, they love your company, they love your smile the most, they love your hair , your lips , your dressing sense , your piercings, they think you ALWAYS look fabulous, they think you're a breathe of fresh air ,you light up their world , they're very grateful to have you in their life , they love to talk to you and they really look forward too .They kind of put you on a pedestal, this person really see "you" the crazy you , the childish you , the sweet you, the angry you and they love everything version of you 😭they think people are really lucky to have you , they think you have a healing presence , they see you as someone that needs to be protected you're just so kind , generous and welcoming ...they feel jealous that your energy is put there , they love your personality they love to spend time with you or they want too , you could be an introvert and they are like an open book .

This person is telling me that they feel accepted in your presence , they love your music taste, you feel s if you're their lost missing piece , your interets ate very similar,they think their inner child really flourish in your presence, i'm getting this .....when i'm with them all of my worries are taken by god kinda vibe ....they think you keep your issues to yourself and that you need to release and let go they want to help you in the process of it , you have a positive effect pn people,they think there are some people in your life who troubles you and they fucking hate that, they think you are photogenic, they love your hair , they think you're really fun to be around, you bring a lot to the table , they wanna heal & grow with you even if you lose contact someday they'll remember you as if you're there to celebrate every best thing that happened in their life , this person kind of feel pressured to do more because they see you doing so much , they're insecure and sad about something and nobody knows it and there isn't a lot of thing's that gets them excited or bring joy but you do , you may travel together, study together, you may know their family, they could be your cousin , they could be someone you have a crush on .

If this is someone not platonic & the feelings are Mutual , you should find out and openly give them hints . They think their efforts are ignored sometimes like they're that friend who do the most and they get ignored, they want to ignore you but they cant , there are some thing they dont communicate because they dont want to ruin this relationship but they really dont like others interference in your connection ,they think you ignore them when you have others company

Alright k thats it (: looking back at your reading, they seem to be someone you have helped in some way and that's why they like you so much because that was something really heavy weigh-in them down ,you helped them unknowingly or knowingly , they also seem conglict free and likeable but they dont like a lot of people thats the issue .

Your song: i love when the song matches the vibe of the reading .

Thanks for reading!!

Pile lll.

Death, the devil , the world rx

Bee

Well what do i say , the cards speak for itself + i dont get any different vibe from the original interpretation of cards

Alright let's start this is about to be confusing......this person finds you attractive, they think about you obsessively and they dont want you to know , you're a though that cross their mind and stays there forever, this is someone who is sexually attracted to you or they admire your body , they kinda have wild assumptions so stick with me ,i'm not getting toxic vibe rather a really enamoured one ,they think you are more sexually experienced than them , they compare themselves to you a lot , they think you'd up for fwb without emotional connection, this person thinks of you as a mystery they want to know "Everything" about you , you intrigue them , wouldn't be surprised if they stalk you online , this person try to hide so much its Insane , they dont want to let you know that they are interested in you they feel as though you will avoid them or you will make fun of them ? They could annoy you on purpose, this person is a little annoyed themselves, they feel stuck and they want to take action , they cant just keep fantasizing about whats not real . They want to be friends with you .

This person wants to be involved in your life and be there for " you" , they think you guys are compatible although they are more sociable than you , I'm feeling surprised because they seem to be wayy invested than they think they would be , they would analyse your mood and wonder about it , they think you dont pay much attention to them like heck you dont even seem to know them that well even though you may have known them longer than they think , this person's energy is straight up hopeless i think this is someone who gets a lot of attention and praise , they seem to have it all , they could be in a authoritive position in life , like they could own libraries or they are the big sister /brother of the family or their friends rely on them for support, they have this natural ability to make others feel secure , they are helpful and sweet , they dont like drama and they are big on action and manifestations , they are also very stubborn and wants things their way , they could fit in to societal expectations but they feel as though they put up a front and pretend to be someone else , they get drained easily and they seem to like books especially mystery books , they like to have their own space they could own a bigg ass house as well , they seem to work a lot like they're damnn busyy in their life but they still like to check up on you its their daily routine, this person has had a lot of hope from the very beginning, they kind of accepted they liked you, this person is possesive asf , it ticks them off its their insecurity. How would you recognise this person? Others see them as a fun but a disciplined person , They are the well liked cool person in their community and they are intelligent with their words , they have attractive eyes and they wear lighter colours , they are their neighbours favourite, they also dont seem very fashionable, they stick to formals and basic . Yeah , this person also think you are imaginative and artistic and they want to like your interests so bad to connect deeper with you and to make themselves familiar , they could have water placements specially pisces , i feel like they may look tough and big but as a child ??? they were just everyone's little troublemaker but also a sweetheart awwww this is so cute . Their friend circle is influential tho , they are judgemental as well hmm interesting. This could be an online connection but it doesn't have to be , you guys just don't interact that much although both of you are intrigued, this person could have a controversial past lol ,its just something about their eyes they seem like a deep thinker although they may not look like one , this person reminds me of suga from bts , you know how he's so tough on the outside like he doesn't care but he's so aware & invested about his friendsdislikes & likes , he knows them better than they think he does

ahhhh anyways this was heavy .

Your song : see i told you

Thanks for reading!!

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarotblr #free readings #intuitive reading #spirituality #vd

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months ago

Note

hello !! i saw that you write for descendants: the rise of red and saw in your rules that you do poly relationships..nothing weird promise but can you do uh uliana's crew x reader? reader is a royal (literally the only royal they like) reader is friends with bridget and ella, and the crew gets jealous so they pull a lot of pranks on bridget and ella and reader confronts them and all (how it ends is up to you) (maybe established relationship if your comfortable) thank youu sm !!

oooo okay okay! I like this and I'll definitely try to put my a game into it lmaooo ; just a lil thing that doesn't rlly matter, Maleficent and Hades (and probably morgie and hook) are the only ones together in thr actual fearful five, and they're all dating the reader (I rlly can't find myself comfortable shipping some of them together lmao) but yeah same plot, just a little disclaimer ig lol ; tysm for requesting, hope you enjoy! :)) ; also I put this into hc format but also used dividers to keep it clean, I just physically couldn't make a whole oneshot I'm sorry 💔💔💔

FEARFUL FIVE ; polycule pranks

summary ; youre the only royal that the vks like (and date for that matter) but they keep picking on your friends... not so cool

warnings ; language

word count ; 633

masterlist

okay, none of them are possessive or jealous at all

they just get pissy when you spend more time with your friends than with them

brother u got FIVE hot s/os and u wanna hang out with bridget and ella???.... okay...

maleficent cares the least, at least she has hades if you're gone. she does miss you when you're gone tho ; 4/10

hades is next, same reason as mali. he just makes you feel bad by whining and complaining about it later ; 4.5/10

morgie is sort of sad and sort of lonely. he just wants someone to talk too cause u get him the most out of the others ; 6/10

hook sort of doesn't care but rlly does on the inside and cannot pull off faking it for the life of him. he gives you the silent treatment if you accidentally (or purposefully) blow him/them off ; 7/10

uliana literally wants to throw someone down the stairs when she sees you hanging out with bridget and ella while they're all a foot away ; 7.5/10

the fact you're the only royal / AK they like is actually an accomplishment you have no idea how you achieved

like okay!

they lowkey don't understand that you still have royal duties and morals to stand on

but it's understandable

like maleficent was born a dark fae in the middle of the enchanted woods.. she don't know shit ab that

hades is the most lenient on it cause he's literally a god & he knows how it all goes

but jfc they get jealous 😭

like u don't wanna date bridge and ella, they're ur friends... friends can just be friends 🗣🗣

morgie and uliana's dumbasses were the ones to come up with the whole "prank them enough to get them away from y/n" plan

they set up an un-consented ice bucket challenge into the garden

and ella and bridget were left freezing fucking cold

"y/n, get your bullies for partners to leave us alone!"

you weren't mad at first

you were just like a parent lightly scolding a child

"dont fuck around with them guys"

and that was kinda that

hook tried giving you puppy eyes like he was asking for something but you were not falling for that

"see you guys later, I gotta help chris with his coronation things"

"bye y/n!!!!"

"morgie stfu"

the second time they all got jealous over the fact you were studying a lot more with bridge and ella and were spending a lot of time in your dorm with them

so they set up a paint-prank thing and they got covered in paint this time around...

lemme tell you... you were mad

cause wtf did they do

if they had a problem then they can take it up w you

hook once again tried using puppy eyes on you (didn't work)

maleficent and hades were just kinda ashamed that they didn't try and stop the other three

morgie literally couldn't look you in the eyes, he really felt bad (standing by the theory that he doesn't want to be bad and just wants to fit in)

uliana (as leader) was in the most trouble

yeah no, they were fucked

you decided to help your girls clean up first and then go track the gang down

and holy shittttt you didn't even know wtf to say

you actually felt so fucking bad

you couldn't apologize to them enough

their hearts literally broke because seeing you in so much emotional turmoil made them want to just wrap you in a warm hug and help you run away

but, you found them later that evening after making sure the girls were safe and sound at her home/dorm

lots of angry shouting and pissed off words

but you worked it out

relationships almost ended.

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yesimwriting · 1 year ago

Text

Match Burns

A/n saltburn rewired a part of my brain

also my original idea was way too long for a one-shot so now i'm splitting it into 2 (maybe 3?) parts, if you'd be interested in that pls lmk lol

Summary: Despite your charm and kind disposition, Oliver has never been able to let himself be fond of you. Not with the way that Felix gravitates to you and your obliviousness to the attention. When you're invited to join him and Felix at Saltburn, his wariness of you morphs into an oddly suffocating dislike, until he realizes how to turn you into a way to get 'in' with Felix.

Pairing(s): eventual felix x reader x oliver, current oliver x felix (unreciprocated) and felix x reader (unreciprocated)

Warnings: potential typos (i'm tired yall), first time writing characters so potentially ooc?, canon-level toxic thoughts/plotting, some canon deviation (felix is alive and well to me and it's staying that way), oliver lowkey hating reader,, but kind of in the grown up version of a kid pulling another kid's pigtails when they have a crush lmao

----

The qualities that make the others adore you, that leave them with no choice but to treat you as some kind of dorm hall trapped princess, are the parts of you that make it difficult for Oliver to tolerate you.

You may not be the heir of some great fortune, the kind of commodity that can only be created through generations of pristine breeding and a lifetime of wealth that comes attached to that kind of pedigree. But you do have something.

His peers may see your self sacrificing nature in the ear you're always willing to lend or the time you're willing to give away without a second thought as instinctual kindness. But Oliver knows how to look beyond careful facades, the stained glass people use to warp the way they're perceived. He knows that your too sweet smiles and soft eyes are just your forms of social currency.

And the most off putting part of it all? The only person that can get away with pretending to not notice the way people react to you, is you.

Sometimes, when his thoughts drift to you without his permission, Oliver convinces himself that it's impossible for anyone to not see your softheartedness as the compensation that it is. And then someone--Felix, says something that is so transparently devoted, Oliver knows that it's worked. Give people what they want, and eventually you'll ensnare them.

Oliver let himself believe that he was finally reaching the peak of Felix's favor after being invited to spend the summer at his family's estate. Then, two days into his stay, Felix informed him that you'd be joining them at the end of the week.

The thought of you and your sense of humor that always seems to toe the line between witty and sarcastic; and the warm feel of your hand on his, or anyone's, arm, because when you listen you do so with your entire body; and your bright eyes that seem to see through everything but yourself, at Saltburn seemed to take something from this away from him. You didn't even need a sob story or to flash an indicator of something in desperate need of repair to get invited.

You were just you, and that was enough.

The way Felix told him only strengthened his chargin. She's friends with you, isn't she? I've seen you two together at the library.

The two of you. Not something that Oliver chose. You appeared one day at his side, on a too warm day for late November in Oxford. A too crowded library had the universe dropping you onto his lap. He accepted your presence because of the way the world seemed to light up for those around you.

But now there are no crowds of admirers to divide the attention. There is only Felix and his family, and with just two guests being invited to spend the summer, it'd be easy for the ultra wealthy to turn this into a competition for favorite pet.

It's also more than that. Alone here, it was easy to pretend Felix's attachment to you didn't exist. But now--now he could easily be the second favorite out of a set of two.

----

There was only one part of your arrival that Oliver was looking forward to, and you stole it from him.

He wanted to witness a crack, a wavering in your assuredness. The size of the estate would get to you, would make you--for once--seem small. You'd hesitate, maybe even see Felix in a different way that'd have you rethinking your friendship.

Your eyes had widened, a combination of shock and awe meshing together behind your gaze. Oliver could feel it, the moment that you'd reveal yourself as susceptible to shrinking in on yourself...and then your eyes met his, and the look vanished before it could fully take root.

You grinned at him and then at Felix, abandoning your luggage next to the car that picked you up before approaching them with unashamed enthusiasm. You pulled each of them into a quick hug, your warmth an ache against him. You didn't attempt to suppress your joy until Duncan appeared, standoffish as ever as Felix introduced you. That was just enough satisfaction to make Oliver want it more.

He's still thinking about it now, imagining just what it'd take to leave you vulnerable. You don't sense the resentful nature of his thoughts. You never do. Not even when Felix tells you that you'll be staying in the room connected to his through a shared bathroom.

Felix suggests giving you some time to rest before dinner. You accept the offer, tired from the back forth traveling from the UK to the US. Your visit to your mother had been so brief, you accepted Felix's offer so quickly. Maybe there's more tension in your family than you've admitted.

"She likes you a lot." Felix's low tone snaps Oliver out of his thoughts. It's a strangely nervous statement that doesn't make sense. You're friends with both of them, and if Felix means the statement in the romantic sense, he's wrong. Oliver's in the habit of taking note of the way people see him, and he can't remember instance in which you've ever looked at him like that.

He could see you feeling that way about Felix easily. You're around Felix often and while there is an underlying hint of stiffness when you're around him, it isn't a sign of dislike. You're determined to like him less, you're dedicated to not loving him. An amicable, but ultimately pointless goal. Who doesn't end up loving Felix?

Oliver doesn't know where this conversation is going, so he decides to keep his response simple. "She likes you, too."

"N--" Felix starts to deny the point, but realizes a full dismissal wouldn't be true. You do like him, it's just--it's different. "She trusts you." Felix shakes his head once, still uncertain. "I know we're friends, but sometimes, especially when we're alone, it-it feels like she sees me as a match that's starting burn too close to her fingers."

There it is. Oliver can't blame you for your precautions. Felix has turned the heads so many women--and some men--and he allows them to hang around him openly. His desirability, his options have never been secret. And your only overlap into his world is going to the same college. Oliver's even heard of you deciding to spend the night alone instead of with Felix because you don't always feel safe at those kinds of parties.

You're playing it safe, like a very good girl from suburbia, USA. It's your way of surviving, but Oliver can't quite respect the choice. You're smart enough to realize that loving Felix is like playing with matches, but you're not strong enough to realize that the proximity would be worth a few burns.

"I know we're a little different, but I don't want her to think I'd ever make her do anything." The obliviousness in Felix thinking that this is just about social circles is endearing in an odd way. "How'd you two get so close, anyway?"

Oliver isn't sure so close is the right way to phrase things. Sure, you're attentive and a little touchy, but that's just how people like you move through the world. Besides, if anything, Oliver thinks you choose his company so often because he's never given you the kind of desperate attention everyone else gives you.

Oliver forces a smile, pushing against the thought of being the one to bridge the gap between the two of you. It twists at his stomach. "What? Are you asking me for girl advice?"

Felix cracks a grin, playfully nudging Oliver with his shoulder. "You know how I meant it."

The words are light, but still another attempt at getting a concrete answer. There's an edge there that Oliver's familiar with, an implication of a feeling he's gotten used to. That chest tightening, what's so special about them? And now the Felix Catton is viewing him in that light.

Personal emotions aside, this--you--could be more useful than Oliver thought.

#saltburn #saltburn 2023 #saltburn x reader #olver quick #felix cattion #felix catton x reader #oliver quick x reader #felix catton x reader x oliver quick #felix x reader #oliver x reader

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orshii · 3 months ago

Text

Destiny Awaits

☀︎ Pairing: Jeong Yunho x female reader ☀︎ Word count: 5,5 k ☀︎ Warnings - mentions of death, mentions of child abuse, necromancy

☀︎ Summary: The Sunrise Kingdom plunged into deep sorrow with the death of the King’s daughter. Desperate to bring her back, Yunho was determined to find a way, just like her father, the king. Will they succeed in restoring her to life, or will they ultimately have to let her go for good?

☀︎ A/N: Heyy, I'm back omg. I haven't posted in like two months, a lot happened in my life, but finally, I settled a bit down and I can get back to writing, which I really did miss because it was always like therapy for me. So about this story...One part of the story was already written years ago, it was inspired by Orianna's story (if you play LoL you will understand lmao) the other side was in a process months ago, so I finally put it together when this happened. I hope the POV's are understandable, let me know if it's not. The whole thing is not a big deal, it's just a beautiful story that means a lot to me. That is all, I guess, enjoy and I hope I can come back to writing more. Byee! xoxo orshii (divider)

Once upon a time, there was the Sunrise Kingdom, where only peace existed. The folks always respected their beloved king, who made everyone feel at home and fulfilled every wish they whispered into the sunrise.

The king had a sweet little daughter, Y/N, who loved to dance. Her heart was full of passion, and her soul danced to the sounds of the world. Her father loved her with every inch of his heart because he had no one left in this Kingdom besides his people.

Y/N's mother tragically died when she was born, as their souls switched places and her mother lived in her daughter's heart from then on.

The king's daughter grew up in the blink of an eye, and she lived her best life. Her days were spent dancing around the castle full of sunshine and meeting with her best friend Yunho, who was the second most important person in the world. He was a boy who she met in the crowded streets when she was visiting their people with her father.

Yunho was a tall boy even though they were quite little when they met. His sincere smile which beamed only happiness, immediately made the little girl's heart warm up. He always wore clothes made out of cheap material, it was ripped here and there because they were overused, and his white shirt with some strings on its neck was always dirtied with soot and soil just like his face.

When she saw him for the first time, the boy was playing on his violin for the people passing by him enjoying the sound the instrument made, brightening their day up. A little black hat was on the floor as it waited for some pennies from the people who passed by. And when she heard the sweet voice of the violin, she immediately wanted to find the source of the sound. As soon as she saw him, the girl felt like she had become a new person that did not exist until that moment.

The boy played the violin with so much passion on his face she couldn't get her eyes off him. The boy's features were soft and he seemed in the girl's eyes, he was a person who would give you the world. She immediately started to connect with the boy with an invisible line that connected them like it was destiny.

And the music he was playing...it was like he was playing with the strings of her heart. It was speaking to her soul and the sweet sounds of the violin full of sunshine and passion, made her little feet immediately dance.

She couldn't resist. The boy was playing the violin with closed eyes so he could convey the feelings that he felt about his life. The girl started to dance in front of him, spinning around with graceful moves with closed eyes, so she could convey her soul to the music.

It was like everything went black around them and the boy was standing there now with wide-open eyes as he watched the girl dance to his music with burning passion. He was in awe as he had never seen someone this passionate about something. It made him play with the desire to get to know this girl who danced full of life in her heart. As the boy watched the girl dance to his music, he imagined the violin's notes escaping from his instrument and the girl dancing on them, hopping from one to one like a ballerina, jumping in the air to catch the sweet notes of the violin, chasing them so it can light up her soul.

From that day, they became inseparable. They were glued to each other as they met every day. Sometimes it was the place was the poor and warm home of Yunho's and sometimes it was the rich surroundings of Y/N's castle. They grew up together into beautiful humans, no one could compete with their unique beauty.

Not until the world suddenly went quiet.

It was a dark and tragic day, even though the sun was shining with its full power. But when the king's daughter suddenly collapsed on the floor when she was dancing, the world became voiceless. It was deaf silent. The beaming sun hid behind the dark clouds and it never came back just like the girl's soul. As abruptly as it happened, just as abruptly did she leave this life.

The Kingdom of Sunrise became the Kingdom of Grief.

The king almost died of the loss of his daughter. The Kingdom was in mourning for years. While the people slowly got over the death of their beloved princess, the king was unable to. But something kept him going, perhaps the memory of his little daughter and the dear wife he loved so much. They lived in his heart for eternity.

Something felt strange—I was back in the throne room where I spent so much time as a child, sitting on the floor asking the maids to play with me, because I had no one else to play with. Only my father who was by my side every time his time let him. He was the king of Sunrise Kingdom; he was busy with the duties and responsibilities a king needed to keep.

The throne room looked the same, the main colors were light beige as the pillars held the ceiling that reached the sky, it looked like it had no end, and the beautiful landscape of the Sunrise Kingdom was painted on the walls by famous painters all around the world. There was one painting behind the throne, that was made out of glass.

This painting illustrated the most anticipated phenomenon in this Kingdom and it got its name because of it; the sunrise. This sunrise was beyond the imagination. When the sun decides to wake up early in the morning, it starts as usual; the sun rises, creating a breathtaking landscape, where it ascends from behind the big mountains, painting the land in yellow and orange colors. The mountains that are all around the Kingdom, embrace it, creating a protecting wall. But that is not all, as the sun slowly rises, suddenly it disappears and darkness swallows the Kingdom for a few minutes. This happens because the mountains are so huge that they block the rising sun, but as it climbs higher, the sun gradually reappears, making it look like the sun is rising two times in the Kingdom, painting the sky with light colors, awaking the folks to start their day as the natural miracle guides the way through the day.

This is the reason the Kingdom got its name, because miracles happen here and the people who live here believe in miracles.

And as I looked around the throne room, it felt like it wasn't real. As if I was in a dream, where I had no physical body. Then I spotted my father, sitting on the throne made out of glass, as his eyes were staring at the floor. His gaze was now dark and hopeless, that once was full of light and kindness. He was leaning to the side of the throne made out of glass, his head supported by his elbow. He looked like he wasn't in this world like he was lost in between the realms that were full of demons.

'Oh, my sweet, caring father, who was by my side since I was little, he protected me from the nightmares that hunted me in my sleep, from the people who tried to disown me from this world. He protected me from the world not letting the bad take over him. He was still a caring and lovable father, and seeing him like this made my heart break. I have never seen him in a melancholy, that made him forget where he was.

"My dear, father why are you so sorrowed?" I spoke with a soft voice, reaching my hand towards his face, where a single teardrop escaped his eyes. I reached my hands but as my fingertips were close to his face, it just melted into his wrinkled face.

"Oh, my precious little daughter…" My father sobbed into his hands; my heart shattered into pieces seeing him like this.

"I'm here, father, look at me." I wanted to lift his head to look at me, but my hands had no grip, it went through my father's face like it wasn't even there.

I was frozen in place, time stopped ticking, and my finger froze to his face where the teardrop fell over it like it wasn't even there. I looked down at my body, it was still me…but— something was wrong. My hands traveled to my chest, waiting for the familiar pumping of my chest—it did not come. Then I glanced at the throne where I could see my reflection and I saw myself but I was as white as a swan, my skin looking pale as I touched my cheek, the once pink lips were gone, almost looking white with a hint of light blue, my cheeks that were always blushing of how warm I felt, now gone. I was wearing a white dress that almost melted into my skin. The warmth of my body that the sun always filled up, now felt like the cold winter that always hunted the Kingdom with its icy weather and dark sky.

Once I was the embodiment of summer, now I looked like the cruel winter. It made me realize—I was not alive.

The king just couldn't get over his sweet little daughter's passing. It was torturing in a way that made him feel like it was not worth living anymore. He remained alone in the world he created alongside his daughter. They created this Kingdom together...and now the light of the Kingdom was not living with them anymore. The sun did rise two times in the morning, but its light faded away the longer the king's daughter passed away. The Kingdom went into deep grief, the once happy folks that went around the streets singing joyfully, now passed by each other not even looking at each other.

The king stood on the balcony of his massive castle, towering over the landscape like a shadow. Yet, it offered the people a safe haven, a place they could always run to whenever they felt unsafe. And that was the purpose of the king, so his people would gladly run to him every time they needed help because he wanted to help.

But looking down at his people, walking on the streets without joy, the sun not shining as bright as it used to be. It was like the weather was cooperating with people's emotions—who became slowly emotionless, which led the Kingdom to let the darkness embrace it through the dark clouds that never appeared there before.

The King had reached his limit—he would not abandon his people, nor allow his beloved daughter to die. He knew he had to ask for a favor.

And that favor led the King to ride beyond his Kingdom to a wicked witch, who hid in the depths of the Sea of Tears. The Sea of Tears were piled up by the tears of people who only cried because of joy, they could make a wish if they cried, but only if it was because they were happy. The ones who were heartbroken, and mournful, had no chance in there, they needed to seek happiness just to wish for their deepest desires.

The King and the witch encountered once, when the moon broke into two and when the stars poured like rain from the bright sky. The King saved the witch from a monster that wanted to suck the life out of her.

So, the witch owned him one. And the king went to ask for that favor. It almost took one year to find the witch and to make a deal with her.

Months later the king announced to his people a miracle that no one believed was possible.

My dearest people, He shouted as he was standing on the balcony of his castle full of grief.

Our Kingdom lost something so precious that is impossible to replace; our princess who is solely going to live in our hearts forever.

That is what I assumed, could make me live more than one day; but it was not enough for my breaking heart, I couldn't stand the pain anymore.

I struck a deal with someone so I could see my sweet daughter once more, perhaps even have her by our sides forever.

However, I need your dearest support in that; the witch of the Sea of Tears created a doll for me that looks exactly like my daughter. She helped me create my daughter, but there is a predicament.

My daughter's soul can find a home in the doll's plush heart, but it will only awaken if it hears pure music played on an instrument that once resonated with a passion beyond this world.

This is the only way we could bring back our princess. I count on every one of you.

Let us bring her home, together!

Yunho’s pov

It was almost half a decade ago, that she died. The world has not been the same since. It went dark, happiness just stopped existing. Especially for me. She was the light in my miserable days, she was the person who melted my cold heart whenever she danced to the sounds coming from my violin. It made both of us burn with passion for music.

But she was gone, and it felt like the music died with her too.

I haven't been playing since that day. I just couldn't get myself to play on my violin, because it reminds me of her and my heart aches physically if I think about her. Because even though I played the violin, she made the music coming from it, live. It was magical when she danced. I always imagined her, with colours sparkling around her, as she spun around to the sound of my violin. As her big, blue eyes closed to feel the music, as her rosy lips curved up, as she always beamed happiness, the pink ballet shoes on his feet, that were worn out from the constant dancing, but she loved it so much, she would've never changed it to a new one.

I played on the violin since I could walk, I loved it because it made me disconnect from the world. I needed that, my father was beating me almost every evening, as he always came home drunk as a skunk, I didn't do anything but he just hit me and shouted into my face that the reason why our mother left us was me.

The reason is still a mystery why my mother left us, and I think I will never find it out. I needed to take care of my little brother and save him from our father, who slowly killed the humanity inside of him, from the wound our mother left behind.

So, I started to play the violin on the streets, hoping I could make a living from it. At first, people just stared at me. What did a little boy like me do on the streets with an old violin?

But as I started to play, they snapped their heads toward me, surprised at how good I was. People enjoyed my music and I enjoyed the attention and money I got.

And then one day a little girl came. When I saw her while I was playing, I couldn't breathe. She looked mesmerizing and when she started dancing, I felt like my heart was going to explode. We became friends from that day, as music connected our souls. We were inseparable, we learned a lot of things from each other, we played around a lot, we fought, then laughed. She was the sun in my dark world, even though we were living in Sunrise Kingdom, even though we saw the sun rise two times a day, she was my sunrise. And as she died, there was no sun for me anymore to rise.

It was almost three years ago, since the King announced the miracle, that the doll comes to life if you play an instrument with passion. When I heard it, I finally felt a little hope crawl through my soul. What is it, if not destiny, when music was the thing that connected us? I was so happy I could bring her back; I was sure if I played for this doll on my violin, she was going to come back to me. I didn't even think about the fact it might not happen, because it seemed so obvious, that I was the one who needed to get her back.

But she did not come back, she didn't even move a little. I was so desperate to bring her back, but when she didn't move, I just got so disappointed, in myself, in music, and in the King for giving us hope. I felt so angry I just couldn't control my feelings and I broke my violin into pieces along with my heart. Music was the only thing that connected us, but she was not here and I just couldn't play anymore, so I just left the pieces of my violin in the old room where the doll's blue eyes just stared at me unmoving, and I left not even looking back.

It was the fifth anniversary of her death; I was heading to the Lake of Freedom. It was our place with Y/N. We always played, danced, and argued here, it was special to both of our hearts and we knew we would find the other here if it was needed. This was the reason I came here every year on the day she died. It felt like she was there with me like a piece of her stayed in this place not being able to move on.

The lake was especially beautiful today. It was surrounded by colourful trees, as autumn was near the corner. It was a mixture of red, orange, and brown colours, and the leaves fell right into the lake, like feathers, as life slowly died out of it. The dead leaf falls upon the Lake of Freedom, finding its way out from the prison that is hanging on a tree for an eternity flowing away just to drown in the dark depths of the lake.

This was how I exactly felt since she died, I just couldn't find happiness anymore in my life. What could I do when the light that kept me going was now gone? How is it possible to move on? When the darkness that calls me is more comforting than trying to find the light, it's easier to just be and drown the emptiness of my chest.

"Excuse me, boy, for interrupting your train of thought…" I heard a voice coming from behind as I was sitting on the rock that we called 'The Theater' with Y/N, which is the theater of our imaginations.

I turned towards the source of the voice and I spotted an old man, standing with a white sack hanging from his right shoulder, his face was wrinkled from the ages, his back humped from, I assumed, the constant carrying things, he seemed he was a wanderer, who had his whole life packed into a rusty and big sack.

"Yes? How can I help you, sir?" I answered kindly, showing him respect.

"Can I ask you a favor, boy?" He coughed while approaching me slowly.

"Of course!"

"You seem like someone who can play on a violin." He eyed me up and down, as I was wearing my worn-out white shirt, with some laces on it, paired with black pants and my worn-out shoes.

"I haven't been playing in years, and I do not plan to," I stated. There was just no point in it anymore.

"Can you make one last exception for me and my wife?" He asked, deep emotions like grief and resignation playing on his wrinkled face. He saw my confused look so he continued, "This is the place where my wife died." He stated as his eyes wandered away to the dark lake. "We were in our late twenties when we were here with my wife. We played around, chasing the other, laughing around. We felt free, just as the lake's name says. But soon it became the Lake of Suffering because suddenly all I saw was my wife running away from me as I was chasing her, she got so excited she didn't see where she was stepping, she fell, and instantly hit the back of her head…" The old man's eyes welled up with tears, "She fell into the lake and it was too late for me to save her, I was too far away."

My breath was stuck in my throat as I imagined the traumatic story the old man told me. It's interesting how a place where you feel free and yourself, becomes a torture, like a prison with no windows to the world, just the dark.

"My condolences, sir." I tilted my head down a little as a sign of my sympathy. We both lost someone special in our hearts.

"She loved to play the violin, she always looked so beautiful doing it. And her music…it was nothing compared to this world." The old man stared into the lake as he said, a little life burning in him as he remembered his wife playing the instrument.

"I would be glad to play for her." I couldn’t believe what I said, but for once it wasn't for me, or Y/N. It was for a man who lost his lover—well I wasn't far away from that as well.

The old man's eyes sparkled as I walked next to him, seeing the end of the violin peaking from his sack. He nodded as I reached my hands towards it at that, and took it into my hands. It felt nice holding a violin after years, it felt like a piece of life got back into me. And the violin looked so beautiful. The touch of it felt like it was made out of rosewood, painted with the color of gold. It had sharp features with the right gracefulness. I have never seen a violin this mesmerizing.

When I lifted it under my chin and started to play on the string of the violin with the bow, I instantly closed my eyes and with that, I closed the world out as well. I played the melody that I played on the day I met Y/N. And it felt like I jumped back in time to that day and lived it again like a miracle. I saw her face clearly as the melody flew out of my violin on the street. The way her eyes sparkled because of the joy she felt. It took me back to that time and my heart started to beat as fast as that day. I watched her dance gracefully, but as my music got wilder and louder, she danced towards me and suddenly she disappeared in the black fog.

I immediately opened my eyes and the black fog wasn't in the vision I saw, it was all around us, the lake completely invisible, and the old man was standing next to me staring into the darkness like something bewitched him. I wanted to stop playing, but he pointed toward the dark fog and said, 'Look, don't you dare stop!' without even glancing at me. I averted my gaze from the old man to the fog as I was still playing, the melody got a little deeper, and sadder when I saw something sparkle between the dark mist. It seemed like a butterfly but bigger and it was illuminated with something that did not belong to this realm. Then it started to dance towards me, fighting through the darkness as some hands tried to grab it, but they remained empty-handed as they fought through the demons and got closer to me. I just couldn't breathe when that thing was fully visible.

It was her.

The girl I was craving for, the girl I lost and never got back. The girl who visited me in my nightmares just to turn them into sweet dreams. There she was, the girl I loved with my whole heart.

But something was wrong. It wasn't her entirely. She was pale, her used-to-be red cheeks were now as white as a wall, her rosy lips were now blue like the sky, and her eyes did not spark with life. It was her soul, that was slowly drying out.

"Y/N!" I whispered through my lips as I was frozen in place, but my unconscious still kept playing on the violin, because I knew if I stopped, she was going to disappear for good.

"Oh, Yunho, dear, I knew you could save me from this torture…" I heard her weak voice as she flew closer to me, she looked exactly like a ghost as she reached her hands towards my warm cheeks. I didn't feel her touch and as I looked into her eyes, it was full of tears that flew down her pale cheeks and it never landed on the ground.

I was breathing quickly, my heart pounded in my chest, the blood in my veins racing through my body, catching on fire as so many emotions got back into me that I did not feel since she died.

"Listen old man! You have to hurry up to the castle and call the King! Tell him to bring the doll he made for his daughter to the lake! Tell him Yunho might know how to bring his daughter back…" I told the old man who was standing next to me in awe.

"Hurry up, we don't have time!" I yelled at the man, as I started to get impatient, I didn't know how much she could keep up, I didn't want to lose her again.

I was still playing, I didn't even notice what I was playing, my hands were hurting but I did not care because all I could focus on was the beautiful face in front of me.

"I am glad you finally found me, Yunho." She smiled at me but it wasn't real, it felt like she just wanted to make me believe everything was okay.

"I am sorry it took me so long, Y/N…" One teardrop escaped my eye as she immediately wanted to wipe it off, but still nothing.

"No, Yunho, I'm okay, everything will be okay…" She whispered as tears fell on her cheeks like a waterfall.

I just couldn't watch her struggle anymore I knew she was fighting between the real and the dead world, she just needed a hand to pull her back to our life.

So, I just dropped the violin as sudden silence fell on us all I was hearing was her screaming, "No! Yunho don't st—," She couldn’t finish the sentence because she disappeared.

My heart was in my ears I didn't hear anything as I looked down at my hands. I was grabbing onto something. "Come back to me…please," I whispered into the dark fog, that slowly started to disappear. I felt something hold onto my hands, and as I looked down a hand was interlaced with mine and slowly a body started to appear in front of me, that looked human-like, that belonged to this world.

It was her again. But her hands now felt warm, her big, blue eyes were sparkling with life, her cheeks were red and his lips were back to their natural rosy color. She came back to me and I couldn't believe my eyes, she was so mesmerizingly beautiful like she did not belong to this world. But I knew she did belong to this world, beside me.

When I saw him, it felt like it was just the usual nightmares that I had dreamt through the years. My nightmares were always about him playing peacefully, then dark hands grabbing him, just to drown him in the dark mist. But the hands never came, he was still there playing with his eyes closed and it felt like we jumped back in time when we first met at the street. The sweet scenario played in front of me when the real nightmare started.

The black hands appeared, but they wanted me, not Yunho. I would gladly sacrifice myself for him if it came to him living peacefully. The hands grabbed me, I got used to it, I didn't know how long I had been in between the worlds but it felt like an eternity, it felt like I was never going to escape from here, I couldn't even die, let alone live. It was torture being there, and seeing my loved ones feel sad because of me, seeing them give up on life just because I died. It was not fair, because I screamed for them to let me go and live instead of me. But they just never listened and they slowly gave in to the darkness. My father followed the same path as Yunho.

And it hurt, it felt like I didn't matter because I did not want this. I wanted them to move on, but they just couldn't and then I decided, no matter what, I was going to come back to the real world, even if I had to fight against my demons. It was a long way and I knew I could trust Yunho; he was my only hope in the dark world I existed in.

And when he looked at me with those big doe eyes. I knew it was worth all the struggle I went through, it was worth fighting with the dark hands that got me in a chokehold, they chained me to this world between the living and the dead, they were feeding from my memories, from my screams, from me. But now, I only needed my last power to leave the demons behind. They were clinging to my back when Yunho saw me, they were trying to pull me back to the dark, whispering that I could never go back, that I was a fool, but I fought against them and didn't let them bring me back.

The melodies escaping from his violin started to feed me with power as I reached my hands towards his face that I starved to touch, but never got to touch. He looked at me like I was his whole world, his face looked tired but full of care like the little Yunho I got to know.

Then he suddenly disappeared and a black hand on my mouth pulled me back to the dark fog, and I got lost in it again, drowning in the feeling of void, the feeling of nothing. I wanted to scream but the hand did not pull away as it pulled me deeper and deeper into the dark sea, where more demons awaited.

But something anchored me to the real world because they were struggling to pull me deeper, a bunch of black hands were pulling me by my right hand, but something so strong was holding my left hand, that it almost broke me in half. The anchor that pulled my left hand was so much stronger as I felt more distance between the black hands and me, they tried to reach me, but it was too late because sudden light hit my eyes that blinded me and I felt something hit my chest with a power that was the last blow I needed to get back into the real world.

Then I fell into two welcoming warm hands and I felt like after an eternity of struggling I was finally at home again, in between the hands of the boy I fell in love with the moment I saw him play the instrument with a passion that immediately fired my little heart, and that fire never seemed to burn out, even when I wasn't alive, the burning of my chest made me keep going, made me feel even though it was impossible in between the two worlds. I did feel, that something invisible connected me to the real world, which led me to Yunho's warm heart, where the same flame was burning in his chest.

"You finally came back to me." I heard his sweet voice, and as my heart started to beat impossibly fast, I felt like I might die again.

"I came back to you." Then I kissed him on his sweet lips because that was the last thing, I needed to feel alive after being in nothing but cold without any feelings. I finally woke up from a never-ending dream just so I could keep dancing to his melodies. I needed him to feel alive because he brought me back to life, that was impossible in this world.

But as you can see nothing is impossible in the Sunrise Kingdom, miracles do exist—because the sun rises two times as well; just as I did.

-Ateez masterlist-

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quinnynation · 2 months ago

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hiiiii!!! normally i’m a silent reader but i had an idea pop into my head lmao

artsy!reader with chris but they’re on live on twitch and she’s drawing things that the chat recommends??? i know it’s simple but i think it’ll be cutee

"such a cozy room" ᯓᡣ𐭩 chris sturniolo one-shot

pairing : bf!chris sturniolo x gf!artsy!reader

summary : cozy art stream with chris

warning/extra tid-bits : use of y/n, explicit language, pure fluff!!

word count : 560 + not proof-read

divider credit : pics from pinterest, divider from @saradika-graphics

"Okay chat, one more 'n then I'll probably head offline for the night." You smile, your sleep-deprived eyes glancing over towards your spare monitor where you had your Twitch chat pulled up; the messages flowing in at a readable rate- thanks to slow-mode.

"Chris is here?" You ask, seeing the various messages about your boyfriend lurking as a viewer. "Chris...get the fuck out of here..." You grit through clenched teeth- hoping your chat would understand the reference you were making.

Some did, some didn't.

Chris did though, he always understood your jokes.

"Draw me!!! 🧡🧡"

Chris' begging in your chat made you smile fondly and just as you were about to give into your boyfriend's pleas, the familiar sound of a donation came through.

You glanced up, readjusting the volume on your headphones as you read the dono message; "HIII Y/N I LOVE YOUR ART SO MUCH, PLZ DRAW A DEER FOR MY FRIEND CHRISTINA?"

"Thank you so much for the ten dollars!! Okay chat, we're drawing a deer for Miss Christina" You giggle, commenting on how sweet it was for the donator to commission a doodle for their friend.

Just as you began humming along to whatever indie song was playing through your headphones, you felt your phone begin to buzz against the wooden desk.

You wrinkled your brows together, pushing your headphones down and muting your mic as you picked your phone up.

It was Chris.

You sigh lovingly as you swipe to answer your boyfriend's call, putting the cellular device up to your ear. "Yes?" You ask, already sensing where your boyfriend's antics were headed.

"Nono, unmute yourself on stream!" Chris whined, already giggling at whatever joke was about to spill out his mouth. You fake a dramatic sigh as you unmute and put him on speaker; leaning closer to your mic and looking straight into your webcam.

"Chat we have Mr.Sturniolo on the phone, and he has something to tell you all." You joke, watching as chat instantly began spamming the ear and eyes emoji.

"I do!" Chris' giggles filled your ears, making your lips curve into a smile. "Chat, do you guys see how mistreated I am?!" He joked, earning a laugh and an eyeroll from you.

"Yes, yes, you're so mistreated..." You sigh, letting Chris go on and on about how you ignored his nice request. "In my defense, you didn't even say please." You mentioned, instantly causing Chris to shut up.

"Listen...I...." Chris sputtered for words, making you crack up. "So who's really mistreated now?" You joke.

The two of you bickered back and forth, you mentioning how often you doodle him off stream anyway- Chris pretending to be hated and ignored. You loved the playful banter, because it was just that.

Playful banter.

No risk of hurting each other's feelings because you both knew deep down that you respected Chris (and spoiled him with drawings) and vice versa.

Eventually, you transferred Chris over to discord so you could actually begin drawing the requested animal- which actually reminded you of your beloved boyfriend.

"To be fair, I'm drawing a deer- so that's basically the same as drawing you." You pointed out, waving your stylus around as you spoke.

"Oh I know, who do you think sent in the 10 bucks?" Chris laughed, instantly making your jaw drop.

"YOUR CHRISTINA?"

a/n : artsy!reader the star that you are

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michaelmilligan · 17 days ago

Text

The Jonmartin manifesto no one asked for but needed to get out

So, I've not been in the tma fandom for long yet, having only listened to it for the first time a few months ago. But from browsing the Jonmartin (and teaholding and jmart) tag regularly, it seems to me like most jonmartin shippers fall into one of these two categories:

They would find each other in every universe; or

It's a miracle they even got together in this universe

(Obviously, that's an oversimplification, and people who express one view in one post can easily hold a different view at another time - these are fictional characters we're talking about after all, and headcanons don't need to be consistent and can even contradict each other. This is just the general vibe I got so far.)

Anyway, I wanted to add my own two cents on the topic, because while I understand where both of these views are coming from, I think neither of them is ultimately correct.

(Putting the rest under a read more - be warned that this is NOT a spoiler-free post, so if you haven't finished listening to TMA yet and you want a spoiler-free experience, you probably shouldn't read this.)

So, before we get to my own opinion, let's first look at where the two options I mentioned above come from, shall we?

"They would find each other in every universe"

Obviously, this view is highly romantic - star-crossed lovers, finding each other again and again. It is both a good foundational basis for AUs, and a ray of hope in the face of the tragedy that is the tma finale.

Of course, concerning the finale, this is a rather different take than concerning AUs (since it would mean the very same characters finding each other again in a different world, not fundamentally different characters, shaped by said other world, also finding each other). And maybe when people express this view, they mean more the finale fix-its than AUs, though I suspect that plenty of people mean both.

It's a nice, comforting thought. And don't we all need some comfort after the finale? Yes, we certainly do. (Except for the people who read only hurt without comfort and angst, I guess. You do you, and I'm glad you're having fun, but personally I do desperately need some comfort, lmao.)

Is this view supported by canon though?

Cynical minds would say no, and personally I'm more inclined to agree with them, though as I've said, for me the truth lies outside of those two rigid stances (somewhere in between, I suppose).

I don't see much in canon which points to Jon and Martin falling in love under any circumstances/in any universe, especially considering their... let's say difficult relationships at the start of the show. But of course we must also take into account the specific circumstances in canon (more on that below) and interpretations vary, and I do very much enjoy AUs, so I'm certainly not trying to throw shade if you're on this side of the 'divide'.

Mostly, I think there CAN be other circumstances in which those two get together, outside the canon ones. (I'm writing a canon-divergent jonmartin fic myself, lol.) Let's get into that while we look at the other view, shall we.

"It's a miracle they even got together in this one"

Ah, the Martin-approved stance. One could say 'well, they literally said it in canon' and be done with it. However, that would require us to believe that the opinions of the characters are always true and correct, which. Lmao. We only have to listen to season 2 of tma to know that this is very much not the case.

And even if S5 Martin is not S2 Jon at the height of his paranoia, he's still very much a man shaped by his own life and experiences. I'm sure he would call himself a realist, but he honestly seems more like a pessimist to me. Which is understandable, given his life, and his association with the Lonely, which has often been (in my opinion accurately) compared to depression.

The thing is, Jon did treat Martin horribly in S1, and then he admittedly treated everyone horribly in S2. It was only in the course of S3 that their relationship got more, let's say, equal, with Jon no longer thinking Martin would be 'contributing nothing but delays'. (And then of course we have S4, which I LOVE even though it hurts me deeply. Then again, that's the whole show. And, obviously, S5 my beloved.)

So. Jon seemed to hate Martin in S1, while Martin was arguably already in love with the man. (Arguably. We do know that he acted catty to Basira in S2, so it's reasonable to assume that he started liking him at some point in S1, or even before the show started.) Then a lot of traumatic things happened, and they got together.

This means it must be the traumatic things that made them compatible, right? Just like Martin says in S5?

Well, one could see it that way. Jon certainly changed over the seasons, coming off his high horse and such. (In S5, he arguably gets back on it quite a bit, but then he IS the Eye's specialest little princess in a world that's literally ruled by it. And also he is slowly losing his grip on his own humanity. But I digress.)

And I do think that the trauma channeled a lot of those changes - the first time we see Jon being actually emotionally open (something he still struggles with over all seasons, because people don't just change fundamentally that quickly) is during Prentiss' attack on the Institute. They're in a situation where they might reasonably die (they even expect it, because they don't know that Elias is just rubbing his greedy little paws as he waits for things to get worse before he saves them with the gas).

I do think that moment could have been a big turning point for Jon and Martin, if it hadn't been immediately followed with the discovery of Gertrude's body, and Jon's subsequent descent into paranoia. Jon opened up, and also saw that Martin was rather competent during the attack, which could have led to them becoming closer, respectively having at least something like a normal work relationship.

But then Jon got paranoid and interpreted everything he saw negatively, including Martin's competence, which was twisted in his mind to 'What if he's just been pretending to be incompetent and is actually an evil agent out to kill the archivist'.

(Big sigh.)

Anyway, before I lose myself in the red string as well: Yes, Jon seems to 'mellow' over the seasons, especially with regard to Martin, at the same time that he's going through terribly traumatic events.

But does that mean that it's actually the trauma that's changing him and his relationships? Partly, certainly, but I would argue that trauma doesn't make you nicer or kinder. It might make you realise some things, but that doesn't mean that you can't realise those things in other ways.

And does it means that they couldn't have come together if they had met under different circumstances? Also not necessarily! I would even argue that the specific circumstances they met under were detrimental to Jon's first impression of Martin. And yes, this goes beyond the dog story.

So let's try and dissect their relationship from the start.

A theory of... something like nuance, or whatever

The starting situation

(Yes, I did have to use a Supernatural gif, thank you for asking. No, I will not apologise. <3)

Alright. So let's start with what we actually know about Jon and Martin's first meeting. Obviously, there's the dog story, though as far as I know that's not 'canon' because it wasn't actually in the podcast. I still like it, and think it adds another reason to Jon's behaviour, though I don't necessarily think it's necessary, because Jon already had lots of other reasons to tell himself that Martin wasn't worth his time.

1.1. Jon has issues. More at 11.

First of all, we learn throughout the podcast that Jon doesn't actually have any qualifications to lead an archive. He's probably 29 when the show starts (in 2016, going by the fandom wiki stating that he was born in 1987, which is reasonable given everything we learn about his age).

So, he's 29 and suddenly appointed, after four years of working in one department, to become the head of a completely different department. He does not have a degree that would give him credentials for leading an archive, nor are we told that he has ever even worked in an archive. For all we know, and that he knows, he is woefully underqualified. (This is also, I think, highlighted in S2 when Jon threatens to resign, only to then be baffled by Elias saying that he would be difficult to replace. Elias means something completely different than his skill set as an archivist with a lower case 'a', presumably, but then Jon doesn't know that.)

This means that Jon is in a highly stressful position, because he's trying to do a job he doesn't actually know how to do, while also trying not to let on that he doesn't know how to do it!

It doesn't help that Jon is also terribly scared of what all might be lurking in the shadows (or even in the light), as he himself admits during the Prentiss attack. He is extremely high-strung from day one, basically a wet chihuahua shaking in a slight breeze, while trying to seem like a strong bulldog.

We also know that Jon asked for two people to be his assistants: Tim and Sasha. They both worked in research, and Sasha also briefly worked in artefact storage, making them both qualified to help Jon with following up on statements. But I think more than their qualifications, Jon probably requested them because he knew and got along with them.

Imagine: Your boss tells you that he's promoting you into a position you're not qualified for and which you have no real clue how to do. Wouldn't you rather have people around you who you're already friendly with, and who are likely to cut you some slack if you're not perfect on day one? I know I would!

1.2. Elias is a little shit and I want to kill him with hammers (affectionately)

And then Elias transfers Martin.

I'm going off the dog story again, because again, I like it, and I think it does fit neatly into canon. If this story is to be believed, Elias neither asked nor did he tell Jon that he was giving him another assistant. He apparently simply told Martin 'you work at the archives now, congratulations' and then went back to his office to smile smugly to himself.

This is a VERY bad start for a working relationship, because not only does Martin come in unannounced, this also comes off as Elias not respecting Jon, or potentially even sending someone to report back to Elias (because Martin is the only one who doesn't have an established rapport with Jon).

Jon never verbalises this suspicion, so maybe this is too much interpretation on my part, but in any case it's cause for a lot of resentment on Jon's part, and since he can't exactly let it out on Elias (who is rarely there, anyway), he simply lets it out on Martin.

He finds reasons to do so, of course, insulting his work and all that. It's probably easy, especially in the beginning, because not unlike Jon, Martin doesn't have any qualifications to work in an archive! He worked at the library before, and we know that his degree is made up (which we can only assume Elias knows, considering he can know almost anything).

(I actually find the question on why Elias transferred Martin in the first place extremely interesting, and might get into that in another post. But this one is already too long, lmao.)

1.3. Martin is too nice, aka Jon has even more issues

This is mostly my personal headcanon, though I do feel it fits Jon's character - which is that he doesn't know how to deal with nice people.

Not kind people. Not friendly people. But nice people.

People who do things seemingly out of the mere goodness of their heart. Like bringing their mean boss tea when he never asked them to do that. Like being friendly even in the face of insults. Someone who constantly takes himself back in favour of other people and their opinions.

People like Martin is appearing to be. Appearing, because Martin isn't actually like that. He does have his opinions, and he could probably grumble up a storm in S1 about Jon, but Jon is his BOSS, and so he plays.

Martin also IS genuinely a nice person most of the time (when he's not on a revenge rampage, making his boyfriend murder people). He doesn't have to do nice things for Jon like bring him tea in S2. But he does. Because that's Martin's way of trying to reach out, to show other people that he means no harm (and that he can be useful).

(I also think that Jon's snappish behaviour, where Martin never quite knows what will set the man off, might remind him off his mum, but again I digress. :))

But I think Jon doesn't know how to deal with that, because even when he's not in the height of paranoia, he still suspects that people who are THAT nice (especially when they have no reason to be nice because he's being an arsehole to them) have a secret agenda. This is playing into what I said under 2 (the part that might be too much interpretation on my side lol), because if Jon suspects that Martin is reporting back to Elias, or is at least someone who would not be friendly if he found out that Jon doesn't know what he's doing, then he can't allow himself to relax around him, and he certainly can't allow himself to be lulled into false security (as Jon would think) around him.

Tl;dr on this point: I think Jon is wary of Martin's niceness because he thinks he might be fishing for gossip/anything he can use against Jon. And even if he isn't, Jon thinks he would be likely to use anything he learns against Jon, because they weren't friends to begin with, and Jon's behaviour has made them anything but that.

(We have to remember that this is the guy who says in S2 that he knows what it's like to 'lack the respect of one's peers', aka the kid who got bullied by at least one older kid, and likely had no or very few friends - plus he believes in the supernatural, which doesn't exactly lend itself well to getting academic respect.)

1.4. They were fucked from the start, your honour

Basically what the meme says, but yeah. The they were put in practically guaranteed that Jon would be wary of Martin, and that Martin would be trying extra hard to make friends with him, which in turn would make Jon even more wary/hostile.

And Elias made it worse, either knowingly or by negligence (not telling Jon about transferring Martin).

If we add the whole dog story to it... they were fucked. I do actually wonder if, assuming we take the dog story as canon, Elias actually somehow managed to set that up. Or whether he was at least cackling (sorry, smiling ever so silently, but smugly) in his office as it happened, or whenever he ended up knowing that it happened.

2. Yes, we've had one starting point, but what about second starting point?

As we have established above, the starting situation for Jon and Martin was... not ideal. So, would they have gotten together easily given a different starting point, like in a cute coffee shop AU?

Eh.

It's true that the specific situation they were in made it a lot harder for them to actually communicate and see each other as they are than it had to be. That doesn't mean that a different situation would have made it easy, though.

Their personalities still make it hard, though, as even without the added stress of a new job, Jon is still a little chihuahua shaking in the corner, who tries to make up for it by barking at everyone, and Martin is still the guy trying to approach him with treats and getting his hand bitten.

There are certainly specific situation that could make it easier, especially if Jon isn't scared as hell, and has maybe already learned that not everyone who does something nice for him wants to just pull on his strings. (Yes, I do think that the thing that makes Martin, according to Annabelle, suited for the Web, is the thing that put Jon on edge at the beginning. I don't know if this was intended at all, but it makes me cackle.)

The beauty of fanfic is that we can do whatever the hell we want. But I think the most fun thing an AU author can do is think 'What would have to happen, in this specific scenario, for these two to get over themselves and get together?'

Excursion: Martin, my beloved depressed blorbo who I am certainly not projecting on, haha

Because it IS both of them who need to get over themselves. Of course Jon's issues are the most obvious, and I've certainly expanded on them enough. But Martin also has a problem, and it's that he's constantly hiding his true feelings and opinions, especially anger and fear.

That makes sense, perhaps, in a workplace, though considering he's dealing with a walking, talking worm hive and a stalker boss... Let's just say it probably would have helped Tim, too, if Martin hadn't been so desperate to make everyone be friends again.

Because Martin is always TRYING to make everything better for everyone, but he's actually not helping anyone. Being nice to Jon and bringing him tea doesn't help battle his paranoia. And trying to tell Tim not to be so angry at Jon, and can't they all be friends, doesn't actually help Tim with his anger.

All Martin is essentially doing is making himself small and saying 'let's get along, pretty please' every now and then. I don't know if it would have helped if he had expressed his own fears and anger, and maybe Jon would have misconstrued that as well, too deep in his paranoia already. But at least Tim might have realised that he was not alone in all this. (His biggest problem, as he says in S2, is that he feels that no one has his back, which I think at least partly results from no one expressing the same anger, aka no one validating his feelings.)

Anyway! (Jon voice) Excursion ends.

3. (To the melody of 'What shall we do with the drunken sailor') What shall we do with these total idiots?

So, how ARE these two going to get together, if they're so woefully unequipped to deal with each other?

Well, first we need to give Martin a good helping of self-confidence. Then we need to kind of give Jon the same, since his problem ALSO is that he's unsure of himself, he just tries to make other people small to cover it up, instead of making himself small. (And isn't that a funny thing to do for someone who we know was bullied. To become a bully himself. Oh, the snake, biting its own tail...)

The easy answer is, of course: You can come up with your own version, get creative. <3

The more complex answer is: A lot of stuff, probably. Jon and Martin will certainly need time to get to know each other, and of course it depends on what situation you put them in to start. But there will be misunderstandings, and there will be hurt feelings, and I am going to soak it up all like a particularly slowburn-greedy sponge.

I feel like there are probably five million ways to get them together, and some might be cute and fluffy (if they go to therapy first, I guess, lol) and many will be full of tears. <3 (Jon voice) And I want to see them all on my desk by Friday! So get to it!

In all seriousness though, yeah, I think there's not one right way for them to get together (though canon did it well imo). But it's also a little more complex than we might give it credit to (very much including me).

4. So what now?

I don't know. I'm not your dad. Write a fic. Draw a picture. Put down your own thoughts on the matter. Or take a shower and clean up your room, young Padawan!

(Though actually, if you've read this post from start to finish in one session, what you should probably do is get up and stretch and get some water.)

And above all! And this is imperative.

Have a good day. <3

#Jonmartin #teaholding #jmart #Idk just go forth and do whatever you were going to do #These are my thoughts and maybe yours are totally different #Or maybe I inspired something! Who knows. Live long and prosper in any case.#I mostly needed to get my thoughts in order lmao

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batsplat · 2 months ago

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sampras tops generous agassi is insane LMAO. thank you for that lovely pt. 2 to the sampras/agassi rivalry essay!!!!!! i showed my friend your first post and she said, of agassi's biography quotes (specifically the "pete, always pete" motif): "OK THATS INSANE.... whys he writing like this is the song of Achilles or something. i could recognize him by touch alone core" andlksjfd and i found it very apt

please it's no trouble, I LOVE talking about them. and yes!! yes!! I LOVE how poetic about this stuff agassi is, how he really just like... gets the narrative appeal of sports, how he's so singularly capable of putting words to it. and how he talks about sampras! where he knows they're both alike in some fundamental ways, that there's something they've shared with each other that can never be erased... that sampras will always be part of his story, inescapable, inevitable. as always, pete. but also this fundamental feeling of separation. of alienation. of not being able to breach that divide

which is a PERFECT excuse to bring in perhaps my favourite interview agassi ever did, courtesy of der spiegel around the time of the release of the autobiography. it's quite extensive and the whole thing is very much worth a read. unsurprisingly given that it's a german magazine, a lot of attention is paid to agassi's relationship with steffi graf - and those bits are particularly sweet and sad

SPIEGEL: Both of you were drilled by fathers who wanted to control everything. Agassi: What is right is that both of us were in our fathers' hands. I told a lot of people that I hated tennis -- seriously and strongly hated it -- and they all tried to talk me out of it: "Ah, that is not right, Andre; in fact you love tennis, don't you?" Do you want to know what Stefanie said: "Don't we all?"

god.

there's also a fair bit about agassi's relationship with his father, so fair warning that those parts are all quite heavy. AND it's also very interesting on the actual writing process for the autobiography and how agassi's collaboration with moehringer came about. plus it takes some fun swings at chang and courier, for old time's sake. but to turn back to sampras, there's just something so striking about how agassi describes what it felt like playing tennis -

SPIEGEL: Mr. Agassi, is it possible for a happy person to win Wimbledon? Andre Agassi: For me, it's hard to imagine. SPIEGEL: Roger Federer seems to actually enjoy playing. Agassi: Yes, maybe. But, in my world, this is impossible. The maximum were short moments of peace during a match which we, the players, used to call "the Zone." But you couldn't plan it. It was never constant. And it went by very fast. SPIEGEL: Does a tennis professional have to be obsessed? Must there be some kind of trauma for him or her to be good? Agassi: While I was winning Wimbledon, I felt like I would die. I feared to fail; I feared embarrassment.

- and then later in the interview gives his thoughts on sampras -

SPIEGEL: For years, the rivalry between you and Pete Sampras was magical to a worldwide audience. Is there still a connection between the two of you? Agassi: There is a lot of respect. I believe that, without Pete, I would have won more and learned less. SPIEGEL: He appears to have been as driven as you were. He had to sleep in ice-cold rooms in total darkness. Was he obsessed or traumatized, as well? Agassi: We were all driven. And, of course, there is something strange about tennis: Egocentric and narcissistic behavior can win; torture and the isolation of players may lead you to the top. Pete and I shared our life and our fate; we were together all year long. But we were lonely. If there was not the net separating us, there was a wall.

and... yeah. "if there was not the net separating us, there was a wall". nyhhhhh this idea that to be a good tennis player, you need to embrace the worst aspects of yourself, that you need to make yourself suffer... egocentric, narcissistic - a sport of the tortured and the isolated... pete and I shared our life and our fate; we were together all year long. but we were lonely........ god. GOD. what more is there even to say!!

which is really agassi's gift, isn't it... putting words to the dark underbelly of the sport that everyone who's spent enough time in that world is aware of - but may never be forced to confront. tennis is hell, it can be one of the loneliest experiences imaginable - and so much of agassi's story is about attempting to stave off that fundamental horror. surrounding himself by as many people as possible, trying to live a real and full and loud life... because whenever he stepped on court he had to face The Horror once again. rivals who can share a life and a fate but can never truly understand each other, a net dividing the players that might as well be a wall... as always, pete - and as always, alone

#average agassi interview includes like half a dozen moments where i feel like someone's punched me in the face #but yeah this one's REALLY good and punchy. interviewer who's clearly done his homework and is prepared to be quite bold in his questioning #//#batsplat responds #racquet tag #challengerers #says he does NOT respect chang and courier lol like TO BE CLEAR he's not in the 'you've always got to respect your rivals' camp

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faust-the-enjoyer · 1 year ago

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Just came across your blog lmao.

Me: Sees that you write for Keegan

Awww HELL YEAH!!! FELLOW KEEGAN ENJOYER

Me: Sees that you LOVE Hurt/Comfort

OMG OMG SAME BESTIE SAME I FCKING LOVE YOU ALREADY

May I, if it‘s not too much ofc (as a fellow Uni Student, I understand your pain 🫡), request some Keegan? X Fem Reader? Fluff? Maybe the scenario could be Keegan getting home from sth/somewhere and finds us (established relationship, could be boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, whichever you like more) on the couch, wearing the comfiest clothes (maybe even his clothes lmao) with a blanket on top and excitedly waiting because it‘s MOVIE DATE NIGHT. And the cuddling and watching movie turns into play fighting and the reader "wins" against him (ofc he‘s just letting us) or maybe he is being a bit like an asshole and uses not full force but pins reader down and it‘s just kisses and giggles and all 💌🌸☁️🫧💕

Movie Date Night!

warnings: fem!reader, pre-established relationship, wife!reader, fluff, alcohol mention, non-sexual tickling, use of pet names, sfw but minors dni, mentions of being drunk, kissing.

Word count: 1.4k words.

A/n: thank you soooo much for the sweet request🥺🤍! Hope you like this! (sorry it took a while!)

Keegan closed the car door, grabbing the grocery bags with his left hand, although it was movie night -something that you two had been doing since you started dating- he had some errands to run, he had to buy some snacks and beer. It was nice that even after you two got married, you'd still do the same fun lovey-dovey stuff you did when you were dating. He locks his car, his shadow growing taller than him as it was almost nighttime now. Walking to the front door, he unlocks it, walking in and immediately being hit by the smell of your perfume, a sweet powdery smell he'd come to associate you with over the years of you two being together.

Locking the door and walking into the foyer, he hears your quiet chuckles from the living room, smiling to himself. Walking into the living room, he wanted to show you what he bought, instead he leaned on the door frame, smirking, seeing you on the couch, covered by your favourite orange blanket, wearing his navy sweatshirt and your own cute black pyjama shorts, reading the book you've finished about two times now. You see him from your peripherals, putting a divider in your book and putting it on the coffee table, grinning and looking up at him, "You're finally home, took you long enough,", "And I can see that you stole my clothes, again.", you both laughed. Getting up from the couch and coming closer to your husband, you wrap your arms around his waist and kiss him, "So, show me what you got!", you told him excitedly. "I got beer, and those sweets you've been looking everywhere for." he shows you what's in the bag proudly, knowing you'll be happy about what he found, you just don’t know that he went to three different stores to find those sweets. You look into the bag, a surprised expression is painted on your face, then look up at him again as he looks back at you, waiting for your reaction, smiling. You take the bag and gently drop it on the floor, hugging him tightly as thrilled squeals and “Thank you”s fall from your mouth, he looks at you, contentment and pride clear on his face.

You try pulling him to the couch, but he stands still, pulling you back into his arms, "You can wait a bit, can't you sweetheart? I just gotta go to the bathroom and change." you put on a faux frown, grabbing the grocery bag again and getting back to the couch, "Fine, go." you say, wanting to sound pathetically upset but instead you giggle through your words, watching him smile and disappear upstairs into your bedroom. As he changes, you get some more snacks for the movie, putting them on the coffee table. He comes back to the living room wearing his cozy brown loungewear, turning off the lights and closing the curtains with him but keeping the floor lamp on. "Finally, oh my God." you say, sighing and patting the empty space next to you on the couch, signalling him to come sit.

He sits down roughly, gently grabbing your face with one hand and kissing your cheek. "So, what are we watching today, Hun? Did you decide yet?" you two always had turns on who gets to choose what movie to watch, and this time it was your turn. “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes!” you tell him enthusiastically, “Ah, another Marlyn Monroe movie.”, his adoration for you coating his tongue, it wasn’t your first time choosing an old movie, and it surely won’t be the last, “Yes! I’ve wanted to watch it for so long now, and we’re finally watching it!” small squeaks of joy leave you as you grab the remote and turn the tv on, going to the tv stand, there, a DVD player is plugged into the wall and tv. Your family had a plethora of DVDs from over the years, and you’re the one that got to keep them when they were throwing their old things out. You work on putting the DVD into the player as Keegan opens some chips’ bags and small chocolate boxes on the coffee table, looking over as he opens a bag of chocolates, seeing you crouching, he admires your beauty from afar as he always does, not caring if you catch him and get embarrassed.

You go back to sit on the couch, remote still in your hand, as you sit down, you gently threw your legs on Keegan’s, crossing them, laying your head on his shoulder as he starts squeezing your thighs gently, he covers the both of you with the blanket, and gives your forehead a gentle kiss. You turn the movie on, setting the remote aside and grabbing the bowl of salted popcorn on the coffee table. You both begin watching the movie, snacking on popcorn, chocolates, juices, and beer. Every now and then a comment would leave one of you about the movie’s plot, one of the characters, and their outfits, both of your voices can be heard all the way from the foyer. After a while, Keegan puts the now empty popcorn bowl back on the coffee table, his hands slowly glide up from your thighs to your stomach, but you think nothing of it, his eyes are glued to the tv and it’s not strange for him to rest his hands on your body. His warm fingers slowly slide under your shirt, sliding over to your ribs, putting his palms on your body to warm you up, then suddenly, his fingers move fast, tickling your ribs, he knows your weakness. “Hey!”, you gently try to get his hands off of you, cackles filling the air, “Stop it baby! -” “No.” he said simply, cutting you off, his hands trail down, this time his fingers attack your sides.

You try pushing him off, but he's as still as a statue, you're left unable to do anything but fall victim to his fingers' attack on your poor, poor sides. That is until you get the bright idea of holding his wrists above his head, he taught you some self-defence lessons, and perhaps this wasn’t the situation he wanted you to use them in, but that doesn't matter anymore. You grab his wrists in between your laughing fits, your grip tight enough to stop him, not to hurt him, and you bring his wrists above his head as he smirks at you, proud of his girl for paying good attention during training and putting her skills to use, he could easily stop you if he wanted to, but he doesn't. You move to straddle him, but he pushes himself to the side, falling on his back in an awkward angle, letting you be on top and hold his hands above his head on the warm, soft couch, he's smiling up at you, enjoying this as much as you are. "Had your fun, princess?" he asks, his tone dripping with love for you, he sees that glint in your eyes, that look of pride. "Yea." you giggle, lowering your body while still holding his hands up, your face now close to his as you kiss him, a long, sweet kiss. You slowly let go of his wrists as your lips depart his, quickly grabbing one of the soft pillows on the couch behind you and throwing it at his chest, much to his surprise. He grunts, grinning at you as you look down at him, "I win, husky boy." you tell him, playful victoriousness coating your words. That was what you called him one night after getting slightly drunk, "Husky boy", due to him having light blue dog-like eyes.

""Husky boy", huh..." and with that, he grabs you by the waist and flips you and himself, careful to not accidently hurt you, moving you underneath him with the pillow falling on your laughing face, his hands slowly reaching up to get the pillow off of your face, and to find your own hands, raising them above your pretty head, his fingers intertwining with yours as he looks in your eyes. "I'm sorry, who wins? Can you say again?" he chuckles, his cockiness seeping out of his words. You look up at him, opening your mouth to answer but getting too caught up in your own laughter, "Come 'er!" you tell him, signalling him to get his face closer to yours, and as soon as he does, you capture his lips again in small pecks, these kisses reached his checks and neck, he was quite generous with his love as well, kissing every part of your face. The movie was long forgotten about, its noise low compared to your two's joyous laughter and giggles. The night ended with the tv off, and you two sleeping on the couch, in each other's arms.

-(dividers by vase-of-lilies)!

#cod x reader #cod keegan #keegan p russ #keegan p russ x reader #keegan russ x reader #keegan russ #faust speaks #my writing

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zombiec4ke · 5 months ago

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hello, this is my first time requesting something ever but could you do a wheatley x gn reader? like maybe where the reader finds him a dumpster after the stuff that happens in portal? maybe just some fluff and wheatley being a needy boi

A/N: OMG MY FIRST REQUEST YIPPEE :D Warnings: nothing besides some swears, toothroting fluff, and wheatley being a drama king

Since the day you stumbled upon Wheatley in that dumpster and, for sheer lack of anything better to do, deciding to give him a better chance at life (you repaired him) life with him has become....rather...strange? Wheatley never shuts up and it often irritates you since you're the quiet type. But even then Wheatley really likes you despite everything, and your presence is everything to him. The adorable little robot does everything to get your attention and that's honestly cute. but not how he sometimes tries to get your attention ...like this time.... "Hey, hey! y/n," Wheatley's sphere body rolls until it reaches your feet "Hey, Mate look at me, look at me, look at meeee!" Wheatley says while slamming his spherical body against your leg...'thats definitely going to leave a bruise....' you say to yourself you sigh deeply putting down your sandwich you were making and you look down to see what wheatley wants to show you this time "Oh, thank splendid! You're finally paying attention to me." Wheatley says his single blue eye 'winks'. "Look, I've been working on this, a little project of mine. It's the greatest thing since sliced bread, or maybe even better." Wheatley says his body rolling back, revealing a small pile of what appears to be Lego blocks, hastily assembled into a crude, almost…wall? like shape. "what…is it if I may ask…?" you ask with an eyebrow raise wondering how did he even make it in the first place…he's just a..sphere…? "Well, it's a… a… divider, of course! You see, it's a way to separate your space from mine. I' know you've been saying you want some privacy, so I thought, 'Why not?'" Wheatley says doing a little spin "It's brilliant, right? I mean, look at the mastery, the workmanship, the sheer genius behind this. It's a stroke of brilliance, isn't it?" The little robot gestures with his eye, trying to sell the idea, even though it's a bit of an eyesore. The Lego creation is hardly a thing of beauty, but it's the thought that counts, right? And, well, y/n, you have to admit, it's something. He's trying to make your home a better place for both of you, in his own, clumsy way. "I'm more impressed how you managed to build this without hands" you say slightly chuckling "Oh, that's easy, mate. I just roll over the pieces, you know, one by one. It's simple. And then I just… push them together with my sphere-ness. It's all about force and momentum. I'm quite the multitasker, if I do say so myself." Wheatley's eye sparkles with pride, as if he's just solved the world's energy crisis with his little Lego creation. The truth is, he's just happy that he made something, and even happier that you're looking at it. "So, what do you think? Do I get a pat on the back, or am I just a moron who can't even build a wall properly?" He tilts enthusiastically It's obvious he's trying to impress you, and even if it's a bit misguided, you can't help but smile at his efforts. you smile and pick up wheatley and give him a boop on his not-a-nose-noseish-area (idk what to call it lmao-) "you did good buddy, I love it" as you give him a boop wheatley sputters before getting the human equivalent to an adrenaline boost and he speeds around your legs going in circles "Splendid!! I knew you would love it!!" you cant help but smile at this and you pick up your sandwich "Thanks again Wheatley, Ima finish making a sandwich and you can continue working on your divider" ""Enjoy your sandwich, y/n! I'll keep working on this masterpiece. I'll make sure it's up to your standards." And with that, Wheatley returns to his Lego creation, rolling back and forth, adding more blocks to his wall. and you while you make your sandwich you can't help but let your mind wander that this whole thing kinda weird…I mean come on…your only friend being a robot you found in the dumpster…you mom always said you would end up a lonely outcast…but you never thought you would be this lonely…

But then again you gives a fuck in this society, you yourself is happy so go fuck whoever tells you otherwise. all you need in life is your sphere robot buddy even though sometimes hes an idiot and set your house on fire one time.... *cough* but that's another story....

A/N: I really hope you like it!! I did my best, dont be shy to send in more requests :D

#I love him sm #I wanna eat him #/j #wheatly portal 2 #wheatley #portal 2 #portal 2 x reader #wheatley x reader #x reader #gn reader #y/n #2nd person pov #2nd pov #plz give me more request #I NEED to write but idk any ideas #lol-#sooo....#yeah :'D #hope u like it :3

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midnightcupiid · 7 months ago

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i want a love like i’ve seen in the movies, that’s why i’ll never fall in love

pairing: valgrace (leo valdez x jason grace)

summary: jason is dead. leo writes letters to him to cope.

word count: 418 (oof)

a/n: GUESS WHO FINALLY GOT HER ACT TOGETHER!!!!!! title from ‘like the movies’ by laufey, relates to nothing i just thought it was cute lmao. wrote this at 2am while severely dehydrated and sleep deprived. i did not check, but hopefully the spelling is ok. enjoy!!!!

(dividers by @plutism)

jason,

you’ll never get this. trust me, i know it. you’re gone.

piper says you wrote letters to me when I was gone. gods, why would you write letters? you’re you were dyslexic, you idiot! i’m barely writing right now. this is hard.

i never found the ones you wrote when we were going through your stuff. i wish i did. maybe it could’ve given me some closure, i guess. i hold on to every part of you i can find. your clothes smell less like you every day. the flowers i put at your grave the first day are starting to wilt.

i still can’t believe it; we were done, out of the woods.(will has been forcing me to listen to taylor swift to try and cheer me up. it’s torture.) now, you’re gone. what’s the point of anything at this point? nothing feels real. one day, i’ll go to elysium. see you again. hopefully. the judges better grant me that mercy. i’ve lived a shit life. i deserve a happy ending. at least, i think i do.

i would go to a therapist, but… i don’t think that would be good for me right now. too much thinking. i usually try not to think. instead, my therapy is building stuff in bunker nine. i’ve been looking at spheres. they can do so much! i almost lasered off my whole arm the other day and but it’s whatever, you don’t want to hear me ramble right now.

i’m reading more, too. you would always get on me about that. well, fake you, at the wilderness school. you were always so righteous. i guess real you was too busy saving the world to annoy me about my reading habits. anyways, i asked annabeth for recommendations. BAD IDEA. now she’s forcing me to read all the “classics”! it’s a nightmare. but some of them are okay, like jane austen. did you know she was a baddie? because she is. but i was reading the canterville ghost, by oscar wilde. there was one line that made me think, which i don’t do much, clearly.

“death must be so beautiful. to lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one’s head, and listen to silence. to have no yesterday, and no tomorrow. to forget time, to forget life, to be at peace.”

i know most of this is wrong. they don’t have any silence in elysium! but for what it’s worth, i hope you’re at peace. you deserve that, after everything.

i miss you.

leo

end note: ANYWAYSSSSSS

i am planning to make a prequel of one of jason’s letters eventually. i rlly hope you liked it! i’ll link it here when it’s done. lmk if you want to be added to the taglist!

GENERAL TAGLIST: @illneverforget365

VALGRACE TAGLIST: n/a

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galatially · 1 year ago

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❝𝐭𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦❞

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 / 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 x 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 — the fire between us will keep us warm on these winter nights; when all you wanted was to bring some christmas cheer to your bleak apartment, tess has plans that will put you face to face with the one man that you lose all composure around

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 — 1K

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈, 𝟏𝟖+, strong language, fluff, implied strangers to lovers, slight christmas mentions

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — i wrote this cute drabble for the always lovely @flordeamatista and i'm beyond thrilled that she loves it given that i had a very hard time keeping this to just a thousand words lmao

as always, lovely banners and dividers by @firefly-graphics

“Where the hell did you get those?”

You chuckled, glancing at Tess from over your shoulder. “I had to give some of my rations to some knuckle-headed kids.” You finished adjusting their position and turned to face her. “You like ‘em?”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “They’re very…you, Y/L/N.”

You beamed and carefully made your way down the stepladder to stand beside her. “It’s nothin’ like my set up back home but it’ll do.” You bumped shoulders with hers. “But that’s not why you came to visit me.”

“This is why you’re my favorite girl, Y/L/N.” She motioned to your small kitchen table. “Sit for a second.”

One of your best skills was that you were acutely observant; micro expressions, macro expressions, subtle shifts in body language and tone never went unnoticed for you. So when Tess Servopoulos is sitting at your table with a strained expression in her brown eyes, your senses were on high alert.

“Don’t get tense like that.”

You moved to get two glasses from the cupboard. “I’m tense because you’re draggin’ this out.” You set the glasses down in time for Tess to produce a bottle of whiskey. “What do you need me to do?”

She took a long sip of her drink before meeting your eyes. “I need you to go on a run with Joel for me.”

You hummed.

“Nothing too strenuous. Just ammo, some medical supplies. Easy peasy.”

“Why can’t you go?”

Tess pulled back the sleeve of her jacket; the parts of her shoulder and collar that you could see beneath her tank top were purple in some spaces, red and angry in others. “I got ambushed by some fucking kids and I don’t want Joel getting all worked up over it. He’s barely slept as is and I need him as clearheaded as possible.” She stabbed a finger in your direction. “Don’t you say anything to him, either. I know where you sleep.”

You snorted. “No need to threaten me, Tess. I got it.” You took a sip from your glass. “Your buddy okay with me taggin’ in for you?”

She shrugged and said, “He doesn’t have much choice.”

“When do we head out?”

“Wednesday night. Just enough time before next week’s rations come in.” She eyed you intently. “Y’know, you never told me what you don’t like about Joel.”

Your brows creased. “I like him fine.”

“Anytime I bring the man up, you get quiet.” Tess raised a brow. “He do somethin’ to you?”

Other than being so attractive that you’d rather eat denim than have him look you in the eye, Joel Miller barely acknowledged your existence. You shared niceties here and there, but have never spent any time alone together.

Besides, he and Tess clearly had something between them. Even without meaning to, they always gravitate towards each other. Two planets in the same orbit.

“If he did somethin’ to me, he’d be dead.” Your finger circled the mouth of your glass. “No, Joel Miller is a perfect gentleman.”

Tess snorted. “I don’t know about all that. He’s just…Joel.”

You pour more whiskey in each of your glasses and smiled some. “Don’t worry, Tess. Everything’ll run smoothly.”

She held up her glass to you. “I have no doubt.”

“Where are you from?”

You and Joel had managed to get the supplies fairly unscathed and were sitting on your couch. Instead of whiskey, you both opted for tea. You found out that Joel takes his the same way you do: honey but not too sweet.

You propped your elbow up along the back of the couch, a smile in the corners of your mouth. “Broussard, Louisiana. Not too big, but not quite so small. You?”

“Arlington, Texas.”

“Makes sense now why Tess calls you Texas,” you said, chuckling. “I always thought you both made a real nice couple.”

Joel started coughing, returning his mug of tea back to the small table in front of you. “Who the hell told you that?”

Your brows furrowed. “I mean, it’s kind of obvious, isn’t it? Y’all are so close and everybody says that y’all have been together practically since the beginning.”

“For your information, Tess and I are good friends.” His gaze burned into yours. “Nothin’ more, nothin’ less.”

“Okay,” you stuttered out, swallowing thickly. You grabbed your mug and lifted it between the two of you. “More tea?” You didn’t wait to hear his answer before half-running to the kitchen. Your face was warm — burning hot, even — and your pulse was racing. Your hands gripped the edge of the sink as his words sank into your bones.

Nothin’ more, nothin’ less.

“Y/N.” Joel stood behind you, both arms crowding you in against the counter. His warm breath tickled the shell of your ear. “Look at me.”

“How’s about I get some whiskey for us instead?” You moved around him, forcing your gaze everywhere but on him. “I don’t have any good stuff but Tess and I swear by it.”

He put his hands on your shoulders and turned you to face him, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “You’re cute when you’re nervous.”

Your features flattened. “I’m not nervous.”

“Oh, yeah?” His knuckles lightly brushed along the curve of your jaw. “Look me in the eye and say that again.”

Your gaze lifted to his and your breath caught some. “I’m not nervous.”

“There’s my girl.”

You turned your head to the side. “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world when you’ve barely given me any thought before?”

Joel took your left hand and brought it to his lips, softly kissing the tops of your knuckles. His dark eyes were warm as they regarded you. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that, darlin’. I only have eyes for you.”

“Bullshit.”

“Tell you what.” He pulled you flush against him, smirking at your sharp gasp. “How’s about I spread a little Christmas cheer in your bedroom and we’ll revisit this conversation in the morning?”

𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 — when i tell y'all that i fell in love with joel all over again writing this 😩😩

#galatially #toasty warm #joel miller #joel miller x black!reader #secret santa gift exchange '23

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woman-of-balnain · 2 years ago

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Possession (Alpha Rick x Omega Reader)

Prev. Work | Collection Masterlist | AO3 Ver. | Next Work

Pairing: Rick Grimes/Fem!Reader

Summary: After catching another alpha making unwanted advances on you, Rick makes the younger man watch as he claims you all over again, showing that you are indisputably his.

Set in the early Alexandria days (s5).

A light sequel to my other story, ‘the Claim’, but this can be read independently.

A/N: If you haven’t read ‘the Claim’, basically Reader is Hershel’s daughter but can be read as any race (as in you can picture her as adopted etc.).

If you have read it, then just note that Lori still died giving birth to Judith, making Shane completely lose his sanity and he’s no longer around either (the reason why can be left up to your imagination). Like in the show, Rick has adopted Judith as his own and you both act as her parents but that is only mentioned and doesn’t play any serious role in this oneshot.

I’m really unsure about this one because the scenario is pretty fucked up lmao but hopefully it’s not complete and utter trash 😅

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, there’s some non-consensual kissing and touching from an original male character, Rick being feral, dominant, possessive and a little bit dark, submissive reader, smut, brief orgasm delay/denial, unprotected sex, creampie, established relationship, Rick and reader are true mates, reverse-voyeurism I guess? Since Rick is literally getting off by making someone else watch... reader is female and wears traditionally female clothing.

Word Count: 3,989

Dividers by: @newlips + @cafekitsune

Rick couldn’t help but feel uneasy and keep his guard up in the early days after arriving in Alexandria. After losing the farm and then later the prison, it was only natural that the whole group felt on edge. It felt too good to be true and it reminded him a little of Woodbury, making him wonder if Alexandria was also putting up some kind of front.

Ultimately though, Rick wanted it to be everything it presented itself as, because the group needed a win after the hell they’d all been through. So, Rick was determined to try and make it work; and he knew that he could eventually – at least once he put a certain alpha in his place.

It hadn’t escaped his attention how a younger alpha kept hanging around you, his omega. It bothered him, deep down, that the other man was closer to you in age and the way he made you laugh and smile with whatever stupid things he was saying.

But Rick knew that the interactions were just friendly on your part. Your eyes had never strayed in all the time you’d been together, but that didn’t subdue the possessiveness he felt over you. The problem was the other alpha, Dylan, and the clear interest he had in you, despite you being claimed by Rick long ago.

The way he touched you – light brushes against your skin that could have easily been explained away as an accident, but Rick knew it was much more than that – it made his blood boil. Rick had seen you grow uncomfortable more than once, but your new job, assigned to you by Deanna, meant that you would have to work closely with the other alpha. He didn’t like it, but he knew that he had nothing solid to prove that Dylan was doing anything wrong. At least not yet.

His irritation only got worse when he came back to the house you’d been given, early in the evening one day after he’d been discussing things with Deanna. Because the first thing he saw was Carol, holding Judith, and no sign of you. The two of you had adopted the little girl as your own after Lori’s death, so the fact that you weren’t the one looking after her was out of the ordinary. His eyes scanned the rest of the living room, but you were nowhere to be found and it set him on edge.

“She went off to help someone,” the beta woman told him calmly, sensing his uneasiness.

“Who?” He grit out, already knowing the likely answer.

“Dylan,” she replied with a hint of trepidation, knowing he wouldn’t like it. “Wanted some advice on that wild horse that was brought in.”

It was a logical reason to ask for your help, since you had plenty of experience with horses due to growing up on the farm. Not to mention the fact that Dylan was in charge of looking after any livestock in Alexandria and you were tasked with working alongside him. But Rick knew there had to be an ulterior motive on the other alpha’s part, so he didn’t even say another word to Carol before he turned and headed back out the door in search of you.

You were in the stables of Alexandria, stroking along the nose of the wild, yet beautiful mare that had been successfully captured, trying to calm it as it grew restless in its stall.

“I’ll try to spend some time with her every day,” you told Dylan, your attention still on the mare. “Gain her trust first before we try to do anything with her.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” the young alpha replied, moving closer to you.

His arm brushed against yours and you tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling growing inside of you. You turned to face him and tried to put some distance between you both, but he just kept coming closer.

“You know,” he said, getting right up in your space. “It’s gonna be really nice having you around here to help.”

“Uh… thanks?” You replied, dread filling you at the way he wouldn’t stop coming closer and closer.

“And it’s just an added bonus that you’re easy on the eyes,” he continued, looking you up and down.

He had backed you up against the nearest wall and now his scent was all around you. It was suffocating and unpleasant, because it wasn’t Rick’s familiar and comforting scent. The fear just grew inside you at the lack of your alpha’s presence.

“Dylan... Rick will lose it if he hears you say something like that,” you warned, knowing better than anyone just how protective your alpha could be.

“That old man?” He scoffed, causing anger to rise within you. “What’s he gonna do?”

Dylan pressed his body against yours and you struggled, trying to move away, but he took hold of your arms and pinned you in place.

“Come on, Omega,” he tried to convince you and you hated the way that word sounded coming from his mouth. “You need a real Alpha. One who can keep up with you.”

If only he knew… you thought to yourself, thinking that you were the one usually left exhausted as you tried to keep up with Rick’s stamina.

“What?” You asked, with annoyance, trying to mask your discomfort. “Someone like you? Give me a break…”

“Don’t worry,” he snarled, his face so close that you were forced to look him in the eye. “I’ll make you forget him. I’ll make it so the only name you remember is mine.”

“Seriously,” you fought against him again. “Just cut it out. You don’t want to see him angry.”

“You reek of him,” was Dylan’s only response.

“What do you expect? He’s my mate.”

“That’s never stopped me before,” he grinned.

He pushed his hips against you so that you could feel how excited he was by the idea. It only repulsed you and made you turn your head away in disgust.

“Please, don’t do this…” you pleaded with him, truly scared now as you realised the full depth of his intentions.

“That’s right,” he chuckled darkly. “Beg, little Omega.”

Then he took hold of your face roughly, turning it back to look at him before his lips forced themselves onto yours. You kicked your legs and grunted against him in anger, trying desperately to get away, but his hold on you was steadfast and you weren’t able to escape.

You hated it, every fibre of your being screaming out that this was wrong and wondering where the hell Rick was. It was more than just another man forcing himself on you. It was like trying to mess with nature, because the claiming bite Rick had placed on your neck linked you to him intrinsically. It joined you physically and emotionally, so another man touching you was like torture.

You gasped for air, relief filling your body when Dylan’s body was ripped away from yours. The relief didn’t last long, though, because you caught sight of your alpha, enraged and completely out of control. You wiped the back of your hand against your mouth, wishing you could erase what had just happened.

Rick was fuming and pushed the other alpha to the ground before plummeting his fists into the younger alpha’s face. His eyes were feral with an untamed fury over another man touching you in that way.

“Rick…” you called out softly, trying to get his attention.

Despite his anger being completely warranted, and the way you still felt disgusted over the other alpha’s unwanted touch, you needed Rick to calm down. Because if he didn’t, it could jeopardise the new home you had all found.

But Rick either didn’t hear you or refused to listen, continuing to brutally beat the other alpha down into the ground. You winced when you heard the tell-tale sound of bones breaking and saw the way Dylan’s head whipped to the side from the force of Rick’s assault.

When most of the younger man’s face was a mix of dark bruising and bright, red blood, Rick finally let up, his chest heaving and his eyes still absolutely feral. He stood up, leaving Dylan on the ground, the younger man coughing and wheezing in his defeat.

Then Rick’s gaze met your terrified one and his expression softened as he made his way over to you. His eyes and hands searched you frantically, making sure that you were okay, and you looked at the broken skin of his knuckles with concern.

“Baby, I’m sorry,” his voice cracked as he spoke, and then he was resting his forehead against yours.

“F-for what?” You stammered out, still in shock from it all.

“I wasn’t here,” he elaborated, his hands resting protectively on your hips. “To stop him from doing that to you."

“You’re here now,” you pointed out, your fingers stroking soothing patterns across his cheek. “But… you shouldn’t have done that. Won’t Deanna get mad?”

You looked over at the other alpha, still lying on the ground, but now unmoving. Seeing the way your concern only deepened, Rick followed your gaze and his mood darkened again. He moved away from you, striding back over to the man who was the reason for his current rage.

Bending down, he grabbed hold of the collar of the younger man’s shirt with one hand, pulling him up slightly before he hit across Dylan’s face with his other hand. The other alpha startled back awake with a groan, eyes barely keeping open from how swollen they’d become.

Rick pulled him up, dragging his body until it was propped up against the wall that he’d previously held you against. Then, he bent right down to look straight into the other alpha’s eyes, every part of him seething as he was only just holding back from killing the younger man.

“No, you don’t get to pass out,” Rick drawled out, voice low and gruff with barely restrained fury. “You’re gonna watch. You’re gonna see everything and take it all in until you understand that she’s mine. And afterwards, assuming that you get to live, if you ever even look at her again, I’ll do more than just break your jaw.”

You stared at your alpha with confusion, wondering what exactly he intended for the other man to see. Then Rick stepped back before turning to look at you again and the unrestrained lust that entered his eyes as he took you in made you both nervous and excited.

“Rick…” you said again, backing up and away from him.

He stalked you like you were his prey, but it was different to when the other alpha had done it. Because Rick was yours and you were his. And sooner or later, he would have you however he wanted you. Your back hit resistance and you realised that you were trapped again, but now there was only desire and anticipation filling you at the thought of what he had in mind.

“Omega,” he said lowly, caging your body with his. “Tell me what he said to you. What he wanted to do.”

Your eyes widened at his request, but you had never seen him so completely feral, so raw with anger. Reluctantly, you decided to obey him, not wanting to push him any further.

“He…”

You faltered, feeling nervous, but Rick gave you a reassuring look, telling you he wouldn’t be angry. Not with you anyway.

“He… he said he would show me what a real alpha is like…” you admitted hesitantly.

Rick’s gaze darkened, but he didn’t interrupt. You didn’t like repeating it, but deep down, in the darkest depths of your mind, you enjoyed how possessive he was of you. That alone gave you the courage to continue.

“He wanted to take me, despite the fact I’m yours. Wanted me to beg him to stop…”

You looked away, but that was enough for Rick. He gently turned your head back to face him and rubbed his thumb over your bottom lip tenderly.

“I’m here now,” he repeated your earlier words. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You nodded, trusting him completely and he leaned forward, bringing his lips to yours. The familiar, but no less perfect sensation made all of the tension you felt fade away. His mouth reclaimed your own, washing away any traces of the other alpha and reminding you that you were Rick’s and his alone. His to claim, his to protect and his to love.

Just like every other time that he kissed you, the world around you seemed to melt away and you forgot that you weren’t alone. You forgot everything except for Rick. So, you gave no resistance when his hands moved up your thighs and under your skirt. Your only reaction was to let your hips buck up with need when his fingers came into contact with your core.

He pushed your flimsy panties to the side, allowing him to feel you properly and tease you senseless. You quickly grew wet, your body perfectly tuned to respond eagerly to his touch. Rick knew exactly what you wanted, understanding what drove you towards euphoric release.

He thrust his fingers inside of you, while his thumb moved over your clit, applying just the right amount of pressure. It rubbed in circular motions, occasionally flicking over the sensitive nub to stimulate you further. You moaned shamelessly, clinging to the soft lapels of his jacket.

It was that dark brown suede one, with the woollen collar that he always seemed to be wearing when he unleashed his anger on someone, after they pissed him off. Seeing him in it, earlier that day, that should have been a warning sign telling you that something bad was going to happen.

But in that moment, he had never looked more desirable as his head pulled back and you took in the raw lust in his piercing blue eyes. Tendrils of his curly hair fell down onto his face and his lips were swollen from the force of the kiss you’d just shared. He was determined to prove a point and it left you aching for him.

“You’re so wet, ‘mega,” he groaned out, fingers still plunging in and out of your pussy. “Just for me, right?”

“Only for you, Alpha,” you responded instantly, biting down on your lower lip in an attempt to stifle your moans.

“What do you want, baby?” He asked, fingers curling inside of you. “Tell me.”

“I want you,” was your breathless reply. “I need you. Your cock… inside me...”

“Beg for it.”

“What?” You asked, in a daze.

Rick pulled his fingers from you abruptly, ignoring the way you whined at the sudden empty feeling they left behind. He grabbed hold of you, turning you around until you were facing the other alpha – the man you’d forgotten was even there. He was still conscious but barely keeping his eyes open. Yet, his attention was fixed on the two of you.

“Oh god…” you whispered with embarrassment at the sudden reminder of his presence.

“Did you forget we had company, baby?” Rick asked, pressing his chest against your back as his arms held tightly to your waist. “He’s going to watch you come undone. He’s going to learn that you’re mine. Only mine.”

“Rick…”

“I told you, sweetheart,” he continued. “If you want my cock, you have to ask for it. Give him what he wanted, let him hear you beg. For me.”

“Fuck,” you groaned in response, unable to deny how turned on you were by his show of dominance.

Rick pushed down on your back, bending you forward slightly as his leg moved between yours. Your thighs spread instantly, letting him settle between them and his strong hands pushed your skirt up so that you were fully exposed to him.

Then he we went still, holding you there but no longer moving. You realised what he was waiting for, but it was humiliating to think of begging him in front of someone else.

“Omega,” he warned.

One of his hands left you and you heard the tell-tale sign of him unbuckling his belt. Just the thought of him being so close but unwilling to touch you until you did as he demanded broke your resolve.

“Oh god,” you whined out, desperate for his touch. “Please, Rick…”

The sound of his belt hitting the floor from behind you made you even more needy, because he still wasn’t touching you how you wanted him to.

“You can do better than that, ‘mega,” he replied calmly.

“Please, Alpha. Please fuck me, I need it.”

You no longer cared that you had an audience. Rick was an expert at making you come undone for him and you were at the point where you’d do anything that he asked if it meant he would give you what you so desperately craved. A deep moan escaped you when he took hold of your hips, pressing you back against him.

You realised that his pants were pulled down, allowing his hardened length to rub against you tantalisingly. But it wasn’t enough. He wasn’t where you ached for him to be.

“Go on,” he coaxed you with a groan, wanting more. “Tell me what you need.”

“I need your cock,” you replied obediently. “Only yours.”

“Why?”

“Because… oh, fuck,” you faltered briefly as his erection brushed against your clit. “Because you’re the only one who can make me feel good.”

“That’s right,” he agreed, pleased with your words. “And where do you want it, baby?”

“Rick!” You whined, unable to comprehend how he was so composed or how he still wasn’t satisfied.

“Tell me,” he insisted, one hand tugging at your hair and pulling your head back.

“I need your cock inside me,” you gave in. “Deep inside my pussy. Please, please, please… I need it so badly!”

“Such a dirty mouth,” he let out a light laugh.

“Rick, please, I can’t take it anymore.”

“Okay, baby,” he soothed you, lining himself up at your entrance. “Since you begged me so nicely.”

He didn’t wait for a response, thrusting into you hard and fast, his cock pushing in, right to the hilt. The moan that escaped you was primal and desperate as your pussy clenched around him in response.

“See how well she responds to me?” Rick asked, no longer talking to you.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you attempted to block it out. But it was impossible, because your body was so acclimated to taking in his every word.

“You know,” he continued, still pounding into you from behind. “She’s still just as tight as the first time I fucked her. This pussy was made for me. Enjoy the show, because this is the only time you’ll ever see her like this.”

“Rick,” you cried out, going crazy from the way he was speaking. “Oh god, don’t stop!”

It ashamed you how much it turned you on. You were absolutely dripping, not only from his actions, but from his possessive display of dominance.

“Hear that?” He continued taunting the other man. “This is how an alpha fucks his omega. And you? All you can do is watch.”

“Please, I’m so close…” you begged, your mind in an absolute daze.

“No,” Rick denied, his words now meant for you. “You don’t get to cum until I tell you to.”

You whined obstinately, but you both knew that he had you wrapped around his finger and that you’d do whatever he said. Your body rocked forward with every brutal thrust, and he knew exactly what he was doing to you, but he still had a point to prove.

“She’s mine,” Rick grit out, sounding like he was getting closer to the edge – of both his release and his sanity. “Every single part of her is attuned to me. If she begs, it’ll be because I tell her to. The only alpha she’s ever gonna know is me.”

It was like a sweet sense of euphoria when his hand moved down between your legs, and he brought his attention back to your aching clit.

“You’re so good to me, aren’t you baby?” He praised, his lips right by your ear.

“Yes,” you replied, desperate to cum. “Yes, only for you, Rick.”

His thumb rubbed over your sensitive nub and your pussy contracted around him in response.

“That’s it,” he coaxed you, voice low and reverberating through his chest against your back. “Cum for me sweetheart, let me feel you squeezing around me.”

“Fuck!” You moaned out desperately as he flicked his thumb over your clit and sent your body crashing over the edge.

Rick let out desperate sounds of his own as he pushed into you deeply, holding you steady against him. Then, the hand he still had holding onto your hair forced your head to tilt to the side, offering your neck to him.

His head bent down and his lips came into contact with your mating gland before he sunk his teeth into the skin, reclaiming you so that there would be no doubt about who you belonged to. You couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a scream – it was partly from pain, as the old wound was reopened, but mostly it was from a deep and intense sense of pleasure as he re-staked his claim.

Then you felt his cock twitch before he came deep inside of you, his other hand resting over your lower abdomen possessively. Rick kept you close to him, making sure you took every last drop while his tongue soothed the spot on your neck that would always keep you tied together.

He traced light patterns along your stomach, comforting you as you both came down from your high. Eventually, he pressed one last kiss to your sensitive gland before pulling back and sliding out of you. He fixed your skirt, moving it back down before he righted his own clothing, pulling his pants back up and covering himself again.

You swayed a little on the spot, still in a bit of a daze. He seemed instantly aware of how exhausted and spent your body was, because he wrapped his arms around you, turning you to face him.

“You’re okay, sweetheart,” he promised. “I’ve got you.”

Your head fell to his chest, and you let out a content sigh as he pulled you into a protective hug. When your body had settled and you were able to support yourself, Rick pulled away and brought his attention back to the other alpha.

Dylan began breathing heavily as Rick walked back over to him. But he was so beaten, bloody and bruised that he couldn’t seem to say anything. You watched as your alpha gave him one last, hard punch to the face, knocking him out cold again.

“Rick, this is not good,” you said, reality and all its repercussions coming back to you. “Once Deanna finds out –”

“Hey,” he cut you off, moving back over to you. “I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry, okay?”

His expression had softened again, and he reached out to take your hands in his. You wanted to trust him, because he’d never let you down before, but Alexandria was so different to what you’d experienced since the loss of the farm, and you didn’t want to lose the sense of security and normalcy that it provided.

“Y/N,” he held your gaze, his voice filled with conviction. “I love you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You couldn’t hold back a smile at his words, and you nodded, letting your instinct to trust him overcome all of your doubts.

“I love you too,” you replied softly.

He grinned in response, pulling you closer and capturing your lips in a gentle and loving kiss. As usual, everything else seemed to fade away until all that was left was Rick and your unwavering faith in him.

Next Work

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