#or just if im in a car and the other person isnt
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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#kicking screaming throwing up. 1 week JSJZJJZJZJZJDJD#ive been so busy with work ive barely had time for other thoughts JDJDJJDJDJDKDKJ#BUT GOD LMAO........ 1 week now wtf.....................#scared if it doesnt work out. scared if it does. just.. scared... LMAO.....#maybe scared isnt the right word... but anxious???? idk JDJDDJDJKJZM#i think im not as like. lovesick???????? is that the word idk. as before#but maybe its bc i havent been thinking about him like. you know. constantly JDJDJDJNDNXNXN#god idk what to think anymore#kinda scared that something will come up and he wont be able to meet but also scared that nothing will come up#and i'll have to meet him like. alone JDJJDKDKXKKXKXMXM#weve been alone before but always ALWAYS someone interrupts or we get to our cars. so like JDJDJJDJD ya idk what to think.........#probably obvious but im in disbelief its even happening........ lmao like what do you mean you still wanna hang out but its just gonna be#the 2 of us JDJDJJDJDKDKKDKDKD GOD.#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god..... trying not to become a mess DJJDSJJSJSJS#might be losing...#personal
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tbh i think if i followed what i learn during driving lessons about everything else in my life too i could be so much calmer and happier
#im obviously not talking about the actual driving but like#dont worry about if the people behind you. you should move as fast as you can while you still feel comfortable and have total control#you should not move out of the way just because someone wants to go faster. there's plenty of room for them to move past you#if something scares you or confuses you just slow down a little until you're comfortable and in control again#or stressful part is over take a breath and when you're ready do the next part#do you get what i mean#it's like driving isnt a competition and life isnt either#and you can't risk your own safety to satisfy the other cars around you and you shouldn't do that for people in your life either#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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Bron/AD
time for my honest onion on bron/AD...
i think they are very compatible like either way you view it, friendship or romantic relationship. Like they are on kyle/demar levels of compatibility in terms of opposites attracting. Lebron is driven and AD is deep. Lebron is willing to investigate and explore any of AD's unique passions (like gta rp) even if it's very new to him or he has to borrow a shitty mic from his streamer son to do it 😭. AD is willing to go the depths of Lebron's wants and desires by seeing him more than just the crown status he has. He doesn't want to please necessarily, but to just help in general because their relationship (whether platonic or romantic) revolves heavy mutuality. I think people can be too hard on Lebron/too judgemental because of him having the spotlight and all the issues that surround that, so whenever AD doesn't perform well.. people blow the thing up into a huge problem. And while that IS a problem... i think their relationship builds off of having problems tbh. Not big ones but like small ones that you can consider accomplishments when they're solved. Their relationship is built off of constant solving VIA investigating, helping, and just tending to other's needs. They REALLY get closer together by actually. Getting closer together. And to get closer.. they need a little problem first.
Problem has this whole negative attachment to it, especially to people who live more comfortable, less competitive lives, but it's different for people like Lebron who's faced more options to deem definitions toward. Their relationship works on workable problems. Not to be confused with a big.. actual actual disruptive problem. Lebron is a big solver who turns into a big feeler when something isn't solved right and AD is a big feeler who turns into a big solver when something doesn't feel right. They work well with each other because they work WELL with each other. They compensate not JUST bcs they're willing.. but because they both see it as a NEED. They're both 110% devoted (afterwards) to help out on a problem.
BUT..... the whole thing with little problems... can be a Little difficult tho. Sometimes. And it's not about having those little problems, because those are unavoidable and in both of their minds necessary for greater development...
it's maybe.. Not having any little problems. At least with the other. It's the problem of 'what more can we do?' That makes them antsy. If Lebron somehow started out with AD from the beginning as a sidekick (and not kyr*e first) .... like idk somehow they get on the same team sooner.. the relationship would still be good because it IS.. i just don't know how long it will be sometimes (both duration and depth). BCS LIKE. Lebron came off of a lot of issues during and after kyr*e. I'm not a big follower of bron, so I can't go into details, but I am an empathizer with him, even as an MJ fan. Lebron loved sticking with AD despite everyone making fun of him for being LeGM. That gave him a conflict he could easily conquer by showing out and connecting with AD, which in turn strengthens their relationship. But to start off on a cleaner slate..? With less issues to work with him on and in turn grow closer with him?
In my opinion, it's a relationship that works best the way it was found. If you take it out of the timeline too forward or backwards.. it'll still be compatible.. but it won't be. it won't have the OOMF, u know?
which leads me to say..... i think it's a relationship that really has to be like. A 2nd/3rd one. Like a trying again NOT WITH EACHOTHER but with the self. You can't just HAVE it.. and it'll be.. IT, you know? It's a strong relationship.. but it definitely NEEDS other factors that aren't exactly from the self to make it work even stronger BCS IT ALREADY IS STRONG FROM THE SELF... there IS a connection and an ability to make that connection even stronger.. it just needs an external enzyme to activate that. They can't exactly just activate that themselves with them alone. They need at least a little something else to push them into shared goals.
SO LIKE I MEAN!!! I LIKE IT ! I DO !!!!! But i think I like it a lot more as good friends bcs idk... I feel like you'll just get that more the more you try to adjust the timepieces and whatnot. Like yeah, they're super helpful to each other when pushed to be, but they're always kinda helpful to each other in general and the fact that they need a push that's forced to be outside just.. idk. It makes the friendship go from a lot less magical to me and more mechanical.. there's more reasons and definitions for it WHICH SOME PEOPLE DO LIKE!!!!! I definitely like being able to say more stuff about things!
But idk... im kind of a sap for things being sometimes just like... u know! They besties! They love each other! Besties!!!
The whole addition of the need cycle makes it go from besties!!! To woooah! Here's a reason for why that happened and if that reason wasn't there this would not be happening ! And it's not some cute elaborate romantical story from the heart.... it's cause and effect or cause and rebuttal. IDK MAN like it definitely WORKS. But like. Me, personally, VERYY personally, i love when things just sorta WORK and u can't really explain all the how's (bcs there's more than one. It's a whole jumbled story and more and more reasons for them to love/interact deeply with each other) but it just kinda.. WORKS !
If the people were even slightly different, like if ad wasn't the person he was.. it would not run like that. So they DO need that kind of specific relation between them to get that relationship specifically to survive below the surface.. so I CAN see the beauty in that tho!!! I just like seeing it better in something more platonic like a friendship tho... but i do understand the beauty of the working relationship and I think that's nice too :) !! It works great for them and especially lebron lol, maybe it's Him....
#will lebron ever escape the cycle of work???????#it looks like his zodiac says noooo !#im not the biggest fan of bron/kyrie#or any bigger ship in general#this spans across just the nba fandom.. ive always been a lover of rarepairs/random pairs#so it's similar to this where it's mainly just a personal thing and it doesnt necessarily mean it's suddenly so BAD#just bcs one particular person just so happens to not get that spark others may feel around it#BUT... i do think in order for this relationship to happen... it NEEDS other relationships to have happened before it#like bron/kyr*e#WHICH DOESNT MAKE IT HORRIBLE!!!!!!!! it's very realistic! but maybe a bit too? realistic?#like the relationship doesnt need to be based on trust..care..etc. it already has that. it needs to be based on the outside. the past#pg/kawhi is also a very heavy needs to consider the past ship... but it also has heavy internal needs that are brought into the equation#lebron and ad dont need that included bcs theyre the tools#bron/ad are like... two automechanics who need business first so they can start working in genuine tandem with the tools#that they already have and already know they work well with#pg/kawhi are like two automechanics that are like.. there isnt even a car from a customer in here yet but theres work being done#kawhis trying not to knock over all of pgs fishing pictures hes got on the bench along with his own weird items kawhi#has to understand first to work with. pg has to try and keep talking to kawhi over the sound of his strange lyricless music playing#pg needs his suit kept dustfree bcs itll tickle his nose and kawhi could care less abt that etc etc u know what i mean??#idk i feel like demar lol anyways tho thanks for asking anon!!! this was rlly fun!!#ted tumbunity things#i hope u get what i mean? idk if i do lol#lebron
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🦋
#absolutely fucking nothing like answering questions w a new psych doc lmao i say some of this shit out loud#&im just like. well YEAH when you put it like that. 🫠#... im so into that little melty emoji lmao it captures my default mood so perfectly.#anyway lmao she was asking about manic episodes so she could get a decent idea on what that looks like for me#&im just like 'well it isnt that bad i just dont sleep&my mind races a ton so i need to do things to calm it down or i get v.v. anxious'#&shes like 'well what do you do to calm yourself down? can you give me some examples?'#so i start listing some stuff off the top of my head&like halfway thru the convo im just like. wait it sounds bad all blunt like this.#&shes like 'you just told me you used to go hiking down ravines after work at night alone&that you rode on the hood of your car while your#cousin drove like i dont think its bc you were blunt that it sounds bad.' lmao.#shes v nice&takes all my weird shit in stride thus far lmao shes just also like. not willing to pretend that anything isnt what it is#which i guess is one of my fav qualities in a person in general lmao so i should be/am v grateful so far.#buuuut thats also why she has no issue prescribing me antipsychotics on my first visit to her office lmao#or being extremelt blunt in every other convo lmao.
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if a friend youve known most of your life has suggested you two go out for the day and as theyre the only driver you rely on them get around and they take the lead and say 'i'll get you at 9am' (but you know it's a soft 9am, as they have always been late for things) and then it gets to 9am that morning and they text to say 'i'm running a bit late as usual' and give no indication of when they are going to leave and it has now been 45 minutes. at what point do you say to that friend, 'let's not go out today or anytime in the near future' ??
#im not happy#im not#he originally cancelled bc his car had to go in for checks and then he text me last night to say car's fine let's go#and i wasnt in the mood for it but i know he wants to get out away from his family atm#but fucking hell#you have had twenty years to break your family's habit of being chronically late to shit#i even suggested going later bc i know he isnt a morning person but he insisted 9am was fine#i could have been doing things. other things. my own family things. WRITING THINGS.#i am not happy. im so close to sitting him down and telling him some facts about him and his family bc my god his mum as well#has said some things i could slap her#but no no mummy's boy probably doesn't know that huh#god i am. i am already over today.#helia rants#please. tell me if i am being unreasonable.#i just dont get it#he wanted to go to oxford. great. for 3 fucking hours?? by the time we get there and then have to leave??
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truly in rhe worst headspace feeling out of my mind rn cause i socialized with people for an action and so many tjingd came up
#1 its really hard to be like 1 out of 2 fat people in a group of 25 like i did not miss this part of being fat when i was skinny lol#2 im just painfully boring to talk to i feel like i dont really know how to emote with my voice and so everything just sounds really flat#3 i dont really get a majority of jokes people make or i just dont find them funny and its really painful being the only person in the car n#not laughing or trying to pretend to laugh but its just an obvious fake laugh like i dont get jokes or references or i dont know enough abou#about life to know when things are funny or how to relate to them enough to know what the average reaction should be#so that comes back to point 2 where its just fucking boring as hell to talk to me because everything you tell me i jusr react with 'oh' or#if its a mundane thing i over react because im thinking thats how the average person would react to it but then i just sound strange#4 my ocd was going wild todau because i have intrusive thoughts about 'what if i believe (immoral thing)'#which really doesnt help me at an action for palestine because well im just questioning how i eben feel about it eben tho i know how i feel#anout it (positively$#like i just feel like everything i do is wrong#i feel so out of place in every situation no matter where i am#my body is too big and i just cant relate to the average person it seems like#my body isnt too big but when youre in a group where youre like one of the only bigger people ueah thats how it feels#and in a really cramped car#covid resllt ruined my social ability to relate to others and stuff i feel like im just a boring ugly ball of nothig basically that people#have to interact with#i#also i should clarify no ones body is too big or too small or too much of anytjing#also feel like i need to clarify yes the intrusive thoughts about immoral things and things that go against my moral code are intrusive they#arent real
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Sunny is driving me insane. We play and play. She has fresh water and food and a clean litter box. She has so many toys. All the windows are open. I pet her and love on her and give her treats. But god forbid I sit down for one fucking minute bc she'll go crazy and destroy the whole house, screaming the entire time
#personal#i have no idea what she wants and im LOSING IT#ive tried just absolutely exhausting her from play time but she can play for HOURS#i cant im just not built for that and like idk how she has that much energy#like i cant even get her to sit down for a nap anymore she just wants to move#which is fine but get off my book shelf!! dont scratch that couch you have your own chair to scratch!!!!#shes currently trying to climb the front door i can hear her#oh yea we even go outside too for up to 30 mins at a time so she can watch cars and eat grass#like she is fully enriched in so many ways AND YET THE SECOND I SIT DOWN#its like ive never done anything for her in her life#and i am so tired#idk what to do#she isnt even really a kitten anymore she'll be 5 next month#oh yea and ive been leaving doors open too so she can watch animals through the sceen doors like ive been freezing my ass off so she can#sit in her chair and watch birds and squirrels and other cats#AND. YET. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO SIT DOWN
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it will never cease to agitate me how something so simple is something which is simultaneously so complex & overall confusing if you don’t have a reliable source for it. saying this because once i inevitably get my drivers license i will be more than happy to drive people places, even if said people are those i don’t know of well and even if its late. not because i believe they owe me anything, nor is it an action out of ‘the kindness of my heart’ but genuinely just because its something they deserve & everyone deserves on the most basic level, easy access to places they need to get to, and the fact some people have to go through loopholes & loopholes just to exist in a certain places is incredibly infuriating.
#i could go on and on about this. seriously#in all sincerity even if said person i was driving hated my guts i’d be okay with it as long as they weren’t trying to wreck my car yknow#even if they dislike me & hate me or want me gone or something they still deserve a ride cause its like. its a RIDE dude.#you need to be able to commute to like get your groceries or some shit and not have to take a bus thats super expensive all the time#even if you dislike my existence or personality or like. genuinely whatever im not gonna be petty#and once again this isnt a weird like ‘augh im better im a kind person’ shtick. im dumb sometimes & incredibly bad at social cues#& other things im sure; im not a god or saint or whatever just cause i can drive & you cant. you just need a ride dude#and once again im more than happy to oblige because id much rather you get to the place you need to be safe & sound even if you hate my guts#than for you to take some unstable like shitty ride and feel unsafe. thats never what i want for anyone ever; genuinely ever#okay tangent over#cybers tangents
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MISSED YOU | chris sturniolo
| ".... god, i hate that i missed you so much"
pairing: dealer!chris x fem!reader
summary: your dealer has been out of town for almost two weeks and after he's finally back, he texts you needing to see you.
warnings; smut, dom!chris, sub!reader, p in v, pet names, praising, unprotected sex, dirty talking, hair pulling, rough sex, car sex, crying, public¿ sex, cursing, mdni
a/n: literally my first fanfic after a looong time so please bear with me, if its bad... you know why. english isnt my first language so sorry for any mistakes! also its a little long 😭 part two here !!
~~~
she laughed at some joke her friend made and took another bite of her pizza. it was late friday afternoon, she and her bestfriends were hanging out, since there was nothing else to do. everything was great, until her phone buzzed. she looks at her screen, immediately smiling when she sees his name. she wasn't even aware that her lips had curved into a smile.
her friends were too busy with their own conversation, so she uses her moment and grabs her phone, reading the message from chris. she hasn't heard from him in over two weeks, she had no clue what he was doing, or where he was. she also didn't want to ask, hating the feeling of being too desperate. and it's not like he owns her any explanation either.
chris: u busy?
she bites her lip, fighting the urge to smile again as she replies back.
y/n: hi to you too
y/n: yeah im out with friends, whats up
chris: having fun?
chris: when u gonna be home ma?
y/n: like in an hour or so
chris: can u hurry up? c'mon kid i miss ya
y/n: you do???
she can't help but genuinely grins this time, her eyes widen a little. did he miss her? or was he just saying that to make her give in? he always knew how to talk to her, to make her going feral over him. but she wanted to believe he means it this time.
chris: hell yeah i do
chris: get ur ass out here
she looks at her friends, that were still yapping about something, that she couldn't care less about right now. she needed to see him. he never said he missed her before.
y/n: then come pick me up, im sending u the address
chris: omw gorgeous
chris is already in his car, when she sends him the address. not being able to see her for over two weeks, made him think. A lot. he has been her drug dealer for over a year now, there was tension between them since the beginning, so it didnt take them long to finally fuck at some party a few months ago. and since then, it's happening every now and then, usually they meet to smoke together, then they end up all over each other.
after a few minutes, he parks the car in front of the pizzeria, finally seeing her. she made a stupid excuse for her friends to leave, not being able to hide her excitement, so they just could assume what was going on.
chris gets out of the car, looking her up and down, licking his lips as she was only wearing a black crop top and baggy camo pants. he personally loved those, especially on her.
he opens the door for her, a smirk playing on his lips. "get in."
she tried her hardest to act casual, but just seeing him after a while, in all black outfit, was enough to make her dizzy. and she could swear he got a haircut. his hair was so much shorter, and she loved it.
she smiles, keeping the eye contact while getting inside the car. he closes the door, his eyes roaming all over her body as she walked towards him. he snaps back to reality, getting to the other side and climbing back into the drivers seat. he was feeling so many things that he couldn't express.
"missed me so bad, you couldn't wait an hour, huh?" she speaks up, putting on the seatbelt and looking over at him, while he starts the car.
she notices the way he looks her up and down, his eyes stopping at her exposed skin a little too long.
"i've missed my favorite customer." he smirks, going back to the eye contact.
"yeah, your favorite customer... right." she says sarcastically, trying her hardest to keep her cool and not to blush under his stare.
he grins before replying, focused on keeping his hands on the wheel instead of her body. it was getting harder with every second. "yeah, the one i always gotta give free stuff to."
"oh, dont act like i force you to do this..." she scoffs, still looking at him. "you know i always want to pay you."
"i know y'do... doesn't mean i will stop givin' it to you for free though."
"see, and that's crazy."
chris rolls his eyes, loving and hating at the same time, how she always had to talk back to him. he's driving, planning to go to her house, but the way she's looking right now, and especially her attitude, is making him crazy. he feels his dick getting harder with every second.
"whatever, ma. i know you secretly like it."
"yeah, sure." she mumbles with sarcastic tone, her eyes still watching him. seeing him driving was one of her favorite things in the world, he always looked so good. she appreciates, that he gives her stuff for free or cuts down her prices, but dealing was his job, he was making money out of it, so she always felt bad when he didnt want her cash. "what made you busy for so long? thought the cops caught or some shit"
chris bites his lip, his eyes glancing over to her for a second, before focusing back on the road. he never felt so desperate like right now, just having her in his car like that...
once he hears her question, he snaps back to reality and smiles. "the cops? please, sweetheart, they can suck my dick."
chris changes his direction, spotting an empty parking lot and he drives there. "i was out of town, had to deal with some business... nothin' to worry about now." he explains, parking and turning off his car, and his stare travels to her, scanning her face and body. "you're so curious...."
she nods, now understanding why he wasn't texting her these past two weeks, she was a bit ashamed 'cause she honestly thought maybe he got bored of her, so she didn't text him either. she still got some weed until yesterday, so she also had no reason to.
"why would you stop here?" she asks, looking at him with a little frown, but once she sees his smirk, the realization hits her. the excitement filling her body, the tension between them so noticeable, it makes her shiver.
he stares at her for a moment, adjusting his pants and then suddenly he unbuckles his seatbelt, sitting back in his seat so there was more space now.
"c'mere."
her eyes travels down on his lap, seeing the noticeable big bulge even through his jeans. she blushes slightly, looking back at him, the smirk still playing on his lips and it makes her weak in her knees.
"chris..." he cuts her off by reaching over and grabbing her chin, tilting her face closer to his.
"y'gonna do what i said, or keep talking back?"
she immediately unbuckles her seatbelt, moving over the center console and she gets into his lap, straddling him. she wasn't gonna act like she didn't miss him too, because, goddamn, she did. she presses herself onto his hard dick, watching him closely, and seeing how desperate and frustrated he was right now. It made her feel a little bit of a power, that she decided to take advantage of.
"now, was that so hard, ma?" he smirks even more, trying to hide his growing need for her, but his hands moves to grip onto her thighs. he felt the urge to touch her all over.
"you know, fifteen more minutes and we would be at my place-"
"you really think, i would wait fifteen fucking minutes, when i havent seen you for two weeks, and you look like that?" he loves the way she looks at him, with such admiration. she was so pretty in his eyes, he never felt this type of desperation for anyone ever before.
"and who's fault is that?" his hands grips her tighter and puts her closer in on his lap, making a little bit of friction, that he so desperately needs. his fingers digging into her skin, while he stares into her eyes.
"shut up for once, yeah?"
"make me." she smirks, challenging him. he doesn't have to hear it twice, loving the attitude she's giving him right now. his hand moves up from her thigh to the back of her neck, pulling her face closer and he kisses her roughly, grabbing her ass with his other hand as he does.
she smiles against his lips, immediately kissing him back with the same intensity, and she grinds down against his clothed dick, feeling her own need growing with every second. she missed the way he kissed her, she missed his lips, his hands all over her, his body against hers. she missed him and she hated to admit that.
she slides her tongue into his mouth, he bites her lip in response and lets her lead the kiss. moving up his hips to feel her more and not being able to hold back, he groans against her lips. he never felt so needy before. he pulls away for a moment to speak, and starts trailing kisses down her neck, squeezing her ass, before his hand moves up, caressing the skin on her exposed stomach.
"god, i hate that i missed you so much."
it slips from his mouth, he doesn't think much about it as he sucks on her skin, but for her it meant everything. she tilts back her head, giving him more space and she grinds against his lap some more, running her hand through his brown hair. he lets out a growl as she grinds down on him, making him even harder and he bucks his hips up again. lifting up his head from her neck his stare finds hers, the noticeable lust in his eyes made her bite her lip to hold back a moan. the smirk coming back to his face once he notices her flushed cheeks.
"what 'bout you, huh, ma? missed me too?"
she closes her eyes, their face so close to each other, it makes their lips brush when she replies him back.
"yeah... i did"
he grins, his hands playing with the waistband of her pants. that's all he needed to know, that she missed him as much as he missed her. even though they both were aware, they should'nt.
"how much, hm?" he unzips her pants, she lifts herself up, gripping his shoulders to balance herself and helps him take them off. then she straddles him again, trying to hold back her smile, but not being able to.
"want me to show you?"
he groans after her words, feeling her wet panties pressing against his hard dick and he bucks up his hips again, being so desperate, that he was ready to beg her. he starts marking her neck again, his hand traveling between her legs, massaging her clit through her underwear. her breath hitches in her throat, she lets out a little whine and grips his hair slightly.
"so wet already... shiiiitttt... all this f'me, huh?" he says against her skin, bitting on it slightly and making her moan. he adds more pressure, circling over her clit. "lift this shit up."
his tone demanding, he wasn't asking. she lifts up her top, revealing her breasts. he looks at her now, his eyes going back and forth between her tits, and her face. "fuck... not wearing a bra? fuckin' slut..."
he licks her hard nipple, then starting sucking on it. her hand tightens in his hair, tilting her head back and she lets out more whimpers. she was supposed to be the one in control this time, she craved it and saw how needy he is, but the way he's touching her, makes her losing her mind. he then pulls her panties to the side, running his fingers through her wet folds and suddenly putting one inside her. not even giving her any time, he just starts pumping in and out, adding another finger after a moment, now stretching her out. he pulls away from her nipple, looking at her face.
"c-chris..." she moans quietly, trying her hardest to keep the eye contact, but struggles to do so. her hands now traveling down his chest and unbuckling his belt.
"yeah, ma? y'like that?" he tries to keep his cool, still working his fingers inside her dripping pussy, curling them and making her whine in response. "look at you... so, fuckin' desperate on my lap. missed my fingers, huh? want some more?"
she desperately nods, squeezing around his fingers, but once he feels that, he pulls them out immediately putting them in his mouth to lick them clean. she whines, pouting her lips when he stops.
"show me how much you missed this dick then."
she bites her lip, unzipping his pants and with his help, she pulls them down to his knees, his boxers following after a second. chris leans his head back against the seat, gripping her hips as she gives him a few strokes before pulling her underwear to the side. she runs her thumb over his tip, collecting the precum and spreading it all over his cock, using it as a lubricant and then she lowers herself slowly on his cock, the movement making them both moan out loud with pleasure. she stays like this for a moment, needing to adjust after these past two weeks without him.
"fuckk...so tight...your pussy was made f'me.." he groans, tightening his grip on her hips and he watches her closely, as she finally starts moving on him. he’s holding himself back from moving up his hips and taking over, trying so hard not to thrust into her. he loves the feeling of her body against his and he’s missed it so much. he needed it, he needed her and he hated that. the feeling just kept growing, making the space in the car feel even smaller.
he pulls her back down into another kiss, this time more sloppy, continuing to move his tongue against hers, tasting her. she kisses him back, starting speeding up her pace and now bouncing on him harder. his dick hitting just all the right spots, making her moan loudly while chris tries to focus on the kiss and not to lose his composure. he wanted to take over, he always did, but the feeling of her riding him like that, has him gripping the seat. he grits his teeth, trying to keep himself together and he knows his patience wont last long. he looks up at her again, his eyes glued to her face.
"fuckkkk, ma.... takin' all of me so well... shit..." he hisses, when she speeds up even more. "so good.... s-so good f'me...."
she grips into his shoulders more, moaning loudly at his praises and she continues moving. chris is in complete ecstasy as she picks the pace up, a feeling like he hasn’t experienced before. there's just something about her on top and taking what she wants, that's got him feeling so many things at once.
“fuck.. just like that” one of his hands grab her ass, giving it a squeeze and then slapping it. "fuckin' slut... you like it? fucking in my car? takin' it just like a little bitch.... yeah? shitttt..."
he moans now not being able to hold back, and he starts thrusting into her. she gasps for air, her eyes closing shut as she tightens around him. "oh, wanna cum, huh? not yet darlin'...." he grips her hips more, his tip hitting her g-spot with every move.
"chris i-"
she cuts herself off with another moan, not being able to think straight. she digs her nails into the back of his neck, her head falling down on his shoulder and he immediately stops. her eyes snap open, she lifts up her head to look at him, a smirk playing on his lips.
"you better don't look away f'me, ma.... wanna see your pretty face y'know? and keep makin' those sexy little sounds...got it?"
she nods, but it's not enough from him as he speaks up again. "use your words baby, c'mon... you aint that fucked out of your mind yet, hm?"
"i got it, just... please..." she whines, moving her hips, wanting to bounce on him again, but he stops her. she pouts. "chrissss......"
"get to the backseat." he demands, after scanning her face for a while. he wanted to give her all the pleasure she deserves. he wasn't even thinking about himself, he couldn't care less about his release. he just needed to make her feel good, making sure no one else can do what he can.
she pulls away from him, now moving over the center console again, struggling a bit but she gets into the backseat. chris obviously smacks her ass as she does, what makes her squeak.
"chris!"
but he just smirks, pulling off his pants and boxers all the way down and throwing it on the passenger seat, so it wasn't in the way. he gets on the back himself, there was little space, but enough to get into his favorite position. chris puts his hand on her back, forcing her to get on her knees and hands on the seat, as he positions himself behind her. chris loves the way he can get her all desperate and begging, so he teases her now. he moves his tip along her folds, making her whine. then he slowly puts it in, but after a few seconds he pulls back again.
"chris...." she whines, knowing he's playing with her now.
"yeah, baby?"
she bites her lip, her face pressing into the seat and she lifts up her hips more. "stop teasing me, please...."
he grins even more, slapping her pussy with his dick and then he suddenly pulls his cock all the way in, making her gasp and scream out of pleasure. the new angle let him hit all of her sweet spots.
"whatever you want, princess." he starts thrusting into her with a very intense and fast pace, going as deep as he could. the car now filled up with her moans and the sounds of skin slapping against each other. he grips her hips tight, keeping her in place. he can feel her squeezing around his cock again, and he lets out a growl. "c'mon.... cum all over me...wanna see you while y'do..."
chris moves one of his hands, grabbing her hair and pulling her head back, having a good view on her face. her mouth wide open, letting out loud moans, her eyes rolling back.
"oh my god!" she cries out, gripping the edge of the seat like her life depended on it and she releases, the wet, squelching sound coming from her now louder. he groans, kissing her neck and whispering into her ear.
"you feel so good... cummin' like that f'me... such a good girl.."
she moans, squeezing around him again, the overstimulation now making her shiver as he keeps going with the crazy pace, not slowing down at all. he lets go of her hair, her head immediately falling onto the seat and he grips by her hips again, making sure she feels him as deep as he wants her to. he growls, being on the edge himself.
"i'm... close.." he mutters, throwing his head back. "gonna fill you up, yeah?"
she whines nodding desperately, but then he smacks her ass giving her a sign to answer verbally.
"shit! yes, fuck, yes chris, please!" she feels tears filling up her eyes from the pleasure, a few of them coming down her cheeks moment later. chris bites his lip, feeling her tightening around him. he moves one of his hands between her legs, now rubbing her clit, while still thrusting hard into her, but his movements getting sloppier. she cries out, her legs trembling and his dick twitches, finally cumming inside her, his warm sticky release filling her up and dripping out of her. he curses under his breath, digging his fingers into her skin, leaving bruises as he does. she feels him cumming, and the overstimulation from him lazily massaging her clit and still hitting her g-spot, makes her finish again. the pressure in her stomach now becoming too much, unable to hold back, she feels the liquid squirts out of her in waves.
his eyes snap open, looking down at her and he growls. he slows down until he eventually stops, after they both ride out their highs, this time not wanting to overstimulate her. looking at the mess she made, he can't help but feel a bit cocky about it.
"shit, ma.... squirtin' all over me, huh? is it how it is now?" he smirks, a little surprised that he made her do that but he couldn't be more proud. he pulls out of her, letting go of her hips and her body immediately falls onto the seat. she's breathing heavily, not being able to reply yet. "that's my fuckin' girl.."
he runs his fingers along her inner thigh, collecting her and his cum and he leans in a bit, covering over her. he looks at her fucked out expression and the smudged mascara on her cheeks. "look at me."
she opens her eyes, her mind blank, body shaking. he puts his fingers into her mouth, she immediately cleans them up, tasting both his and her release on her tongue, making sure she keeps the eye contact with him while she does that.
"you're so hot." he says now kissing the tears on her cheeks away. "took me so well..."
she smiles, seeing his flushed cheeks and messy hair sticking to his forehead. it was her favorite view.
"y'good, kid? don't go all mute on me now.."
"don't call me that...." she mumbles, trying to get her sarcastic attitude back, but she was absolutely spent right now. "i'm fine."
he just grins, gently patting her cheek before he pulls away. she slowly lifts herself up, trying to fight her trembling legs and she sits up now, facing him. not being able to do anything more yet, her glare moving to her legs and the seat she made mess on. she feels her cheeks growing hotter, now suddenly embarrassed and trying to ignore his stare. this never happened to her with him before and she didn't know what he thought about it.
"sorry about... the seats" she mumbles, grimacing.
he raises his eyebrows, now seeing her embarrassment and he doesn't understand why. it was a little surprising but he felt so proud. he already wanted to make her do it all over again. "you f'real? don't even say sorry, ever again."
she's still not so sure, blushing even more as he wipes her cheeks from the smudged mascara and then runs his hand through her hair, trying to fix it a little bit. he smiles softly. "gonna clean this up later, don't you worry 'bout that, okay?"
chris then reaches into the center console for the tissues, grabbing them and spreading her legs with his hands. she watches him closely seeing how he starts just gently cleaning her up. this simple movement makes her feel the heat rising from her cheeks down to her neck, so she just covers her face with her hands shyly. not really being able to understand why is she so embarrassed this time, he grabs her wrists, forcing her hands to move away from her face.
"y'gotta be kiddin' me. don't hide from me, ma." chris mutters. "not when you made such pretty mess in my car."
with a quiet sigh, she lets him take her hands off of her face. she chews on her bottom lip nervously while he goes back to cleaning her up, touching her slightly as she was made from some kind of glass. it was even cute, how he just made sure she was fine. it's not their first rough sex, but this one was definitely more intense and for some reason felt so... different. she had this strange feeling in her chest, just seeing him focused on wiping her legs and how he didn't seem to care about his covered in her release seats. once he's done, he sits beside her, wrapping his hand around her shoulder and pulling her close. she doesn't like the silence, even if before it was never awkward, this one was bothering her as she couldn't stop feeling unfamiliar emotions.
"i ran out, by the way." she suddenly blurts out, making him laugh. there was no way in hell this girl was real.
"yeah? good to know. gonna give y'some more later."
"im paying this time."
"oh, you've paid enough already." she immediately looks up at him, smacking his shoulder and he chuckles in response, pretending to be in pain. "woaaahh, bein' a little brat again, hm?"
"that's not funny, im giving you money." her tone shows no objection, he smirks and nods, knowing he won't take anything from her anyway. they sit like that for a moment, before he speaks up, knowing he will get another hit after that.
"soooo... round two?"
"christopher, i swear to god."
_____________________________
a/n: oh my god this seems sooo long 😭 tell me what yall think, i feel like i kinda fucked up with the whole dealer vibe but lmk please! i honestly enjoyed writing that so who knows..
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo x fem reader#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo#smut#dealer chris
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its all about self, not the physical object.
its so interesting knowing u are never manifesting a material object, but the version of u with that object. u are always manifesting urself, thats why we always want the feeling & why the material world (3d) is always neutral. since everything is u -> u are always manifesting you!
stop trying to "get" the material object and BEcome the person who already has it. there is a difference between the two. there are infinite STATES, infinite versions of YOU, not versions of that car or that acceptance letter (<-reread this until it clicks!) BE it, dont chase it.
the object does not define the person. edward art said that two ppl can have the same clothes. lets say two ppl have a juicy contour tracksuit; one knows they are poor and ugly & the other knows they are rich and beautiful.
the object doesnt mean shit for their identities!
objects cant change who you are - YOU change who you are! even if you think otherwise like the object brings you confidence aka a new identity, at the end of the day it is YOU deciding to change based on the object. its all you. stop putting objects on the pedestal! the change in identity and what you know to be true about yourself comes from YOU. THATS what u have to CHANGE, NOT the object itself. crave BEING that version of you, NOT the object.
you're always only manifesting yourself, never the object. this is a fact so idc if u think im wrong. we are always being (manifesting) a version of ourselves. and this version might have a material object but the root of it all is that we are always manifesting a version of US! NOT THE OBJECT. this also makes sense bc everything is only you (consciousness) so ofc you will always be manifesting yourself. thats why we say the only success story is when you change self/states/your identity or fulfill yourself! its all about YOU YOU YOU, not the OBJECT!
this connects to "you dont want the object, u want the feeling (knowing/fulfillment)." listen: OFC U WANT THE OBJECT. but yall gotta realize that the object gives u some kind of validation or satisfaction so thats WHY u want it.
you want a car -> you want the feeling/freedom of driving wherever, whenever; having control you want a glow up -> you want to know/feel comfrtoable in your own skin or have people love the way you look; self validation or validation from others you want to be with this sp bc you love them -> you want to be loved & give love; want to feel worthy of love, etc
everything comes down to SELF, what you KNOW about you. its the feeling that comes first and THEN the object. its not you want the object THEN the feeling. that makes no sense.
theres nothing wrong w acknowledging u want the feeling first. some of yall love arguing about how this is wrong but it actually helps so many ppl who get so hyperfixed on the object itself, getting unhealthy obsessions & anxieties over objects when getting objects isnt the goal.
i know for a fact that the ppl who say its wrong are the same ppl who havent felt fully fulfilled w something they want. bc when you become truly fulfilled, you literally KNOW you have it even when you dont physically have it. the feeling feels SO powerful.
you can even get fulfilled / know "negative shit" in the 3d. thats proof that the FEELING CONTROLS ALL. regardless of the physical, regardless of the objects. this is especially true since everything in the 3d is NEUTRAL. so feelings are all you can receive from it!
★ you are always manifesting yourself, not the object
☆ you want the feeling first, then the object regardless if you believe it
★ having a object doesnt change your state/identity -> you do
☆ stop focusing on the object & just be
kisses, cutie jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed#law of assumption#loa blog#manifesting#loassumption#neville goddard#edward art#imagination creates reality#loastates#loass states#loa assumptions#loa states#loassblog#loa tumblr
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someone more well caught up with the campaign can correct me if im wrong. But based on the impression I've gotten, i love the like. Spectrum of "accidentally oncall" we have, with how the Mighty Nein are accidentally unknown go-to's for various powerful people to get tasks done, while Bell's Hells are accidentally primary sources and lynchpins for various powers to understand and coordinate events.
Like the Mighty Nein are. they're assholes, if you talk to them and they dont really like you. you'll know it and it will kind of suck. But for the most part people don't have to interact directly with them. It's almost weird how much they don't have to??? Like shit just gets. Done. And you find out later like OH its the same. weirdos. No idea who they are but you're told its the same group. What do they even look like. There are so many weird stories at least half of them NEED to be fake. Or people just assume incorrect attribution bc it cant ALL be the same group. What do you mean they saved a world and an island and? Turtles were involved? Sea serpents? what.
For anyone who knows even slightly better/has slightly better connections (but doesn't know them personally) They're just like a weird form of an urban legend where its like. elite strike team. silent and effective. (in the background we see them falling out of the sky into the ocean onto one another). But for the most part its really peak. Knows a guy who knows a guy. If someone HAPPENS to be present they might be squinting into the chaos like. That girl choked me with a stick once? Isnt that other one a professor. Wha- okay. They're gone again. Silent. effective. You have a really hard time tracking them down even if you want to. (If they want to find you though, you can't escape them).
And then with Bell's Hells. (At least when I last checked in). It goes more like. Hey some weirdos have critical knowledge for us. And it's just. an Absolute Halloween themed clown car of events that rolls up. There's a talking dead rat. Weird old gnome griping about wood. They keep flirting with everyone. Including someone that looks very evil. A busty faun just took your wallet. You're pretty sure this group threw a bunch of bees in someone's face in a street race and crashed a skyship and were absolute NIGHTMARE CUSTOMERS at various establishments. They're the ones with critical knowledge. They are communicating it SO, INCREDIBLY INEFFECTIVELY. They were on the moon? They have a person FROM the moon? They keep trying to be friendly with you. You don't want them to be. Another critical thing happens. They're the only one with knowledge. Again. The dead rat keeps flirting with you. You're getting voices in your head. More developments in the critical scenario. They're still the primary source on this potentially Exandria-shattering event. They're still spending an inexplicable amount of time talking about the hotness of various people inbetween dispensing information that literally no one else has been able to glean. You know who they are. You kind of wish you didn't. You are Going To See Them Again. (threat)
#someone caught up on c3 let me know if this is accurate bc if so its very funny to me#critical role#c3e106#?#bell's hells#the mighty nein#spar speaks#shitpost#party comparison post#i suppose?
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#saying this a week later but JDJDJDJD i started talking about it here n i guess i should update#but yeah we're meeting in a few weeks#by OURSELVES FHRIDZIKZZKKZKZKZ GOD#i told him im not seein the other ppl (except 1) anymore and he said he isnt either. so i guess its just me n him now LOL#if i wanna see him i gotta ask n not just rely on him being at a dinner JJDJDJSJSJSNSN#it was going no where tho. like they were so dramatic. esp the last time. and so mean to him. it really pissed me off#and then its like. id go mostly to talk to him but we'd always get interrupted or something n couldnt even talk much !!!!!#so this is a lot better.... or i guess i hope it is idk JDJDJDJJDNX#ive been alone with him b4 but never for long bc either 1. someone interrupts us or 2. we get to our cars n leave#n e way. im really nervous ngl. and so many things have gotten in our way and so if something else happens i really wont be surprised idk 😭#personal
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Reading a lot of DPxDC fics lately, heres my take on the Danny is Damian's twin AU:
Danny was injured to near death and left for dead by the League as a young boy. Ra's only wanted one heir and Danny was less bloodthirsty than Damian, so it was decided that Danny had to go.
Danny is found and taken to a hospital in Illinois, barely alive. He is saved and wakes up with basically no memories of where he was from and speaking a rare dialect of arabic that none of the cops investigating his case can identify. What words Danny does know in english are concerning so the cops figure Danny was being held by some sort of murder, death cult.
The investigation runs cold and Danny is sent to foster care once his injuries heal. He is then adopted by the fentons and moves to Amity Park. As he grows the only clear memories he has of his past is another boy his age who he felt safe with. He knows the other boy is important to him but not why. He cant even really remember his face, certainly not his name. Danny always felt shitty that he couldnt remember the other boy because if he did, then the cops would have rescued him from the murder death cult too. Instead the other boy is presumably there and getting hurt all the time like Danny was.
Danny gets his powers like normal at 14 and decides that now that he has superpowers he absolutely has to save that other boy. Sam and Tucker help him gather clues, he starts to remember a bit more. He remembers the word ahki and realizes that the other boy is his brother!! Which just really enhances Dannys need to save him from the murder death cult. Eventually Tucker finds a picture of Damian Wayne and Danny is like thats him. Thats my brother.
Wait.
Bruce Wayne is his brothers dad???
Bruce Wayne is a rich fruitloop like Vlad obviously, so he is probably a member of the murder cult. Danny has to rescue his brother from the illuminati.
Cue Sam going to a socialite dinner in gotham much to her parents delight. Getting close to Damian by talking about animal rights, slipping him some sleeping pills in his vegan food. Tucker hacking into the gala and causing a commotion. Danny lugging an unconscious Damian out of the Gala and into the GAV ( no, his parents dont know why he borrowed the car or where he is).
Damian wakes up and immediately tries to attack Danny thinking hes a clone. Danny is like woah shit no its me! Its your brother. Damian is like Danyal is dead. Danny is like obviously not. Now chill out im rescuing you from the cult.
Damian, who has been secrectly mourning his twin for years, has never heard anyone call the League of Assassins a cult. He has to reevaluate a lot of things while Danny drives the GAV out of Gotham as fast as he can. Danny explains his whole backstory and how he is sorry he didnt come to save Damian earlier, his memories were gone but he had never forgotten how important Damian was to him. Damian doesnt do emotions on a good day and is unable to handle that like a normal person.
"Father isnt part of the cult, Danyal."
"Hes a billionaire from Gotham, of course he is!"
Damian who has fought many rich people from gotham, all of whom were evil, tries to find an explanation that isnt 'our dad is batman'. Danny isnt listening to any of it, promising Damian that he will be safe from the murder cult in Amity.
Damian eventually gets out that their mother was in the cult and their father didn't know about them. Danny pulls the GAV over and looks at Damian.
"Did i just kidnap you for no reason?"
"It was a kind gesture at least Danyal."
"Fuck. I just kidnapped bruce wayne's kid in the middle of a gala, am i super villain now?"
"Not if you take me home. Father will understand Danyal."
"I dont want to go to jail!"
Damian gives Danny the address to Wayne Manor and Danny drives to Bristol.
When they walk inside Damian now has to explain the whole 'had a dead brother i never told you about' thing to a less than amused batfam.
Danny introduces himself to Bruce and says that he has an adopted family back in illinois, but that he would be happy to get to know Bruce, also sorry about the kidnapping i dont normally do that i thought you were part of the illumimati and i had to rescue my brother.
Bruce just hopes this kid is normal.
(Hint: he's not)
#bruce internally: this kid was raised by normal parents in a small town in illinois. finally a child that doesnt crave vigilantism#danny: is already a ghost hero#danny phantom#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dp crossover#batman#batfam#damian wayne
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what came first, the chicken or the dickhead?
[smau]
f1driver!reader x lando norris (eventually, friends to lovers ofc)
authors note: this is so dramatic and for what! sorry to pierre for making you the villian, and lets pretend ferrari isnt as shit as it currently is! lol enjoy, would love to know what you think <333
yourusername
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yourusername tough day in the office today, mexico '22 is just not to be I guess. As always a learning curve and we will grow from todays DNF 😞
See you soon Brazil !!
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ynfan1 we are still so proud of you! keep pushing 👍
f1fan this is literally what you get for trying to compete in a MALE sport
f1fan2 fr she's bringing down pierre and the team f1fan3 too emotional for the big leagues ynfan2 stfu you do realise your favourite MALE drivers dnf all the time aswell
alphataurif1 we come back stronger!!
yourusername 👊👊
alex_albon lily is wondering would going for ice cream cheer you up?
yourusername I love her, yes please 🥹 landonorris I'm coming yourusername nuh huh its for us pointless drivers! landonorris come on it was only 2..
f1fan4 lando norizz trying to make it a double date lollll
f1fan5 bro chill these two have been friends since literal birth
alphataurif1
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alphataurif1 the difference 2 weeks can make! our girl yourusername is starting pole position on sunday here in brazil 🔥
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yourusername woohoo roll on sunday!!
ynfan1 go bestie go !
ynfan2 AT moving up💪
yourusername
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yourusername great work achieved today, the car and track felt good. hopefully we can convert this position into some points to finish of the season on a high, all we need is team work on the track (and for max's alarm to not go off so he misses the race 😀)
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maxverstappen1 why the personal attack
yourusername WHY do you have to win every week, surely you are bored by it by now ... charles_leclerc I agree, maybe take a week off? f1fan2 hahah these two i'm obsessed
landonorris please do well but not TOO well, just stay behind me 👍
yourusername and look at your ass all race? hard pass
ynfan1 that mention of teamwork is a lil suss...
ynfan2 not really?? it is a team sport ynfan1 yeah but do you not find it weird how unfriendly yourusername and pierregasly are, despite them being on the same team? f1fan tbf I have always noticed how forced their videos are together. and they dont even follow each other
yourusername
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yourusername lollll ruining my career one interview at a time, but at least we hit the clubs looking fire 🔥
p.s. I stand by what I've said I only have apologies for two people 1) my pr manager (who I dont pay enough for this) and 2) charles for linking your name to this hot mess!
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landonorris it's so great being the unproblematic one 😎
yourusername does mcclaren need another golden driver from bristol??? I fear im out of a seat soon .. ynfan1 this is so sad you are way to talented of a driver to be out of a suit
charles_leclerc No worries 😅 Just make sure you buy me dinner next time before dragging me into the chaos. 🍽️🤷♂️
yourusername you got it prince of monaco! f1fan2 PLEASE PLEASE DATE ynfan2 ewww no her and lando are so so in love they're just too blind and stupid
danielricciardo absolute legend behaviour mate!!
yourusername learning from the best danny ric 😎
alphataurif1 and yourusername
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alphataurif1 From grid battles to glory laps! 🏁✨ Our unstoppable driver just clinched her FIRST WIN at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix! 🏆 Watch out, world – she's rewriting the history books and leaving her mark on the track. 🚀🌟
#AlphaQueen #AbuDhabiWinner
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danielricciardo What a race! Big congrats, yourusername. That first win feeling is something else! Enjoy every moment!
alex_albon: absolutely smashed it! huge congratulations on your first win!
carlossainz55 felicidades!!
susie_wolff: breaking barriers and making history! huge congratulations on your first win!
yourusername AHHHHH I CANT BELIEVE IT ! I LOVE YOU TEAM !!
ynfan1 lando where is your congrats you are slippinnn!!
landonorris
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landonorris I've never been this happy to lose, but it's pretty cool seeing your best friend win in her rookie year. EVEN if she beaten me to it 😞
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yourusername LANDOOOO you are a the bestest friend ever
yourusername would not have gotten here with out you, my partner in crime <3
ynfan1 best friend?? y'all are still so blind
f1fan everytime you call her your best friend you reaffirm the lando NORIZZ name
danielricciardo facts alex_albon facts carlossainz55 facts charles_leclerc facts yukitsunoda0511 facts maxverstappen1 facts landonorris CAN YOU SHUT UP
scuderiaferrari
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scuderiaferrari oh we thought we should just let you know our driver line up for 2023 👀 say hello to the dynamic addition to the Ferrari family, the wonderfully feisty yourusername! get ready for a season full of speed, passion, and fierce competition. Welcome to Maranello! 🇮🇹
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ynfan1 HOLY F*CK
susie_wolff wow congrats yourusername!! wishing you all the best !
yourusername thank you so much susie! your advice the last few weeks has help me so much ! ynfan1 I love when girls support girls 💓
yourusername can't wait to get started! forza ferrari ❤️❤️
charles_leclerc this is going to be incredible! congrats !!
yourusername thank you charles <33 be prepared to be sick of me lol ynfan1 so happy shes got a teammate who acc is a decent guy
ynfan2 LOLLLL I bet pierre is sick
landonorris slayed 💅
yourusername 😂😂 f1fan watch out mr norizz her new teammate is mr steal-your-girl
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Something I noticed is a lot of people who hated BATIM love BATDR and a lot of people fond of BATIM dislike BATDR. To me, this seems like a mechanics vs story issue. The actual game mechanics and aesthetic of BATDR disguise the lackluster characters and plot holes. However, BATIM still suffers those same issues.
This is a vague question, but what are your thoughts on BATIM vs BATDR story wise? Is either of them truly better? Or are they just flawed in different ways?
Sorry, this is long, but so are BATIM and BATDR :')
I think you hit the nail on the head in the sense that yes- BATDR has better gameplay and mechanics than BATIM, but BATIM by far has a much more compelling story that was able to capture and keep attention over the course of five chapter releases. And yes, BATIM is not without its flaws, for example it's mainly a walking simulator in terms of actual gameplay- the only thing saving it being the unique ability to suck the player in through the rich, stylistic environments.
In terms of story, here's my take for both of them-
BATIM is more solid overall, there are more connected plot points and there's a thread there to be followed from start to finish. It does suffer from some WTF plothole moments, the biggest one being Alice's 180 degree turn with suddenly using Boris as a killing machine rather than...what I can only assume was a plan to use his ink/body as some kind of reparative agent for the hole in her face (like thicc ink premium idk), or...some kind of spell...? It's honestly not very clear HOW she was going to use him, but bottom line she decided to entirely change her plan off-screen, which could have been remedied with something like a cutscene's worth of explanation, and more of a buildup to Brute Boris. The "reveal" in the haunted house didn't hold that much weight (at least to me,) just because we didn't even get a cookie crumb of a hint that Alice was going to mutilate him and use him as a drone instead of just axe him.
There are other nonsense details like Allison's ominous "I'm no Angel" line, which didn't make sense when Tom was the one to want to leave Henry. It was never explained WHY the Ink Demon walks around with a limp when he can shapeshift into a bigger and faster Beast version of himself (and apparently he was ALSO the hand in the ink river??? I guess???) And can we talk about how the cult Joey started was just never brought up again? Wally talks about how workers were encouraged (or mandated, idk) to put offerings in the break room to "appease the gods." What gods? Was Joey worshiping Bendy like a god? NONE OF THIS IS EXPLAINED EVER and honestly I think Micheal D. and Meatstick just Forgot that Joey was a cult leader in favor of Sammy's cult storyline.
But despite all of the plot holes, we still get a tale of a deteriorating studio, humans being used as literal skeletons for lifelike versions of cartoon characters, themes of life, death, cults, art, and more. Honestly, going deep into the plot of Bendy would take its own post to really do it justice.
I guess the main plot is this: Ex-co-founder of Joey Drew Studios, Henry, is trying to get the fuck home to his wife, learning along the way that through the power of a mysterious ink machine, his ex-business partner decided to coerce and persuade people to Literally Die so he could have the necessary materials to create living versions of his cartoons, thus making "his" characters (and more importantly, Bendy,) a reality. Once Henry does escape, he learns that Joey has sent him through this same hell before, still filled with hatred and spite, just in time for Joey to assumedly "reset" him and send him on a different version of the same journey, as we can guess from the storyboards on display in Joey's apartment. THAT on its own is an intriguing and layered tale, and that's not even including the other details, voices, and faces we run into in BATIM, AND the new info we learn in BATDR.
Now, BATDR...is something I've come to view as a mixed bag.
Story-wise, it weirdly wants to have its cake and eat it to. Henry's story is elaborated on, and part of Audrey's origins are also brought to light. This is helpful information concerning the plot of BATIM...but then we get assblasted with a ton of new characters and lore for a completely new Cycle under the reign of a completely new Random Old Man. I know he's Nathan's son, and he was mentioned in both Illusion and Fade to Black...but those were de-canonized, so it almost doesn't help context-wise...???? So...????
In a lot of ways, BATDR almost acts like it wants to be an AU branching from BATIM rather than a direct sequel, which it was marketed/confirmed as.
I think my biggest problem with BATDR is that some of the main characters are bafflingly like. Mishandled.
I'm gonna have the mildest take on earth and say I didn't like the new Ink Demon. Old design was better and more uncanny by far, the new design looks like Generic Satan or something straight out of Baldur's Gate. He was given a deep, guttural growling voice because....tumblr sexyman I guess. Even if they needed him to talk, it could've been something more breathy and raspy, true to the heavy breathing of the original Ink Demon. Also, his alternate form was made very childlike, and I'm just weirded out by the fact that you have this oddly "sexified" version of the Ink Demon on the flipside of Bendy the Child. I don't think any ill intent was meant by this, but it's more confusing than anything thematically. I'm also not sure why Bendy's abuse was brought up and then never touched on....? Like wasn't this guy locked up and called a monster his whole life? Are we going to...say something especially considering the moral of this story......?
Memory Joey is completely fine, but I just can't shake the feeling that the narrative is trying to paint IRL Joey as "UWU fixed now" when that's not the case. The most sympathy I can extend to IRL Joey is that he was a gay man who desired to have a family at a time when that was not only frowned upon but dangerous, not just socially speaking but in terms of his physical safety. But beyond that, this was a dude who locked people in a building to keep them working, coerced and possibly forced the deaths of many people to get what he wanted (the ink machine was a scientific advancement that could've had AMAZING implications for society but he Did Not Give a Shit about that), and was abusive towards Henry. If we trust the Bendy books, he also gaslit and killed his teenage staff. This motherfucker isn't a patron saint of anything, and even if Memory Joey can learn from IRL Joey's mistakes, IRL Joey was still a shitbag who just happened to raise a daughter.
Which leads me to Audrey. Some of Audrey's tale is explained- she was raised by Joey, forgot Joey was her father, and came to work at Archgate as an animator. Got to know Wilson, who works as a janitor at Archgate, and then he drags her into ink hell because....idk, she's his version of "A Perfect Boris" I guess. Fair enough. However, it's NEVER EXPLAINED how Audrey doesn't remember her father, or WHERE she went to live after his passing, or WHO she lived with. Remember, Joey was as old as a cave painting, so he clearly passed when she was very young. While you could argue she doesn't remember his name because she was little, SURELY she remembers his face or voice, or the fact that she HAD A FATHER??? Like, was there some huge trauma there? (Other than the fact that Joey was her dad?) It makes little sense to me that she would forget so easily. If I had to make a guess (and granted I'm no Mark Twain), I'd wager that Allison probably found Joey dead. Remember that Nathan hadn't talked to Joey in years, and Allison was the one who went out of her way in the first place to visit. At this point, Allison's gonna find a little girl running around by herself, and assumedly her and Thomas would've taken her in. If that's not the case, someone else found Joey dead, at which point Audrey would've possibly lived with Nathan and Tessa, considering how much Nathan cared about Joey. Either party has ties to Archgate. But all of that is just speculation, not confirmed, and even if any of that were true, Audrey makes no mention of it. And I'm sorry, Audrey's backstory makes me want to cry, because it's just NOT THERE and she has the personality of a depressed bucket.
Alice was alright...but she was kind of stupid? Which is like....the antithesis of everything cool about her? Instead of using traps and luring the main character from a distance, she knocks out Audrey (via unspecified drink), plays Diet Jigsaw with Audrey, and then gets pushed off a balcony. She was also a lot more...idk, suave and sultry in speech mannerisms in BATDR, which isn't bad, but her unhinged and clever nature seemed a bit watered down.
I don't really have notes on the rest of the main cast. Sammy was brought back to die immediately, which honestly was fine considering his death track record. We get some mentions of BATIM characters. Wilson and Betty were fine, and even some of the lore explaining how the timelines work made sense.
HOWEVER,
I've already said it a hundred times, but the old cast was shoved to the side for a bunch of new characters we had no time to connect with. A new butcher gang member was added when we still have Miss Twisted as a potential female-role filler (keep in mind the Projectionist is based on Camera Man and Brute Boris was based on The Brute.) The whole "Amok" thing was a REALLY roundabout way to get the Lost Ones to stop attacking Audrey.
Wilson's motivations are mostly consistent and I'd argue somewhat compelling, but I don't understand why he didn't do more to protect Audrey if he was going to need her for the endgame for Shipahoy Dudley? Like what's all this about letting her run around and get killed? Was he just aware that she'd revive?
The main message of BATDR was fine, but it didn't work super well for Audrey's character. She'd already forgotten Joey was her father, and was living in blissful ignorance of that fact until Memory Joey decided to infodump on her right away. Sure, the "just because you were born of darkness doesn't mean you have to be darkness" thing applies to her AFTER she learns Joey was her father, but...Audrey was never threatening to Become Evil, so it almost didn't need to be said and was kind of a flat message...? I would argue Memory Joey would benefit more from that message- as he's a literal copy of a Very Bad Dude. My guy was projecting this whole time.
I do think BATDR was worse story-wise, but I'm not going to sit here and pretend it didn't have certain disadvantages from the start. The Kindlybeast debacle happened, BADTR was trying to continue a story from an existing property, and there was a severe lack of Adrienne Kress. Okay, maybe the last one was a bit much, but still. That doesn't mean I hate BATDR overall, I can appreciate a lot of things about it, but strictly in the story department, it needs soooooo much work and makes me want to jump off a Minecraft cliff.
#AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE TOON.#the toon form feels so... strange ? like he feels forced because of fanon toon being real and made of ink often too yknow#and the fact he's practically taken over who bendy is ? is really off for me. like this is a branding thing but god#its like they replaced the actual toon with the cycle version almost. kinda like what they did with the ink demon design#but i digress#batdr's toon form being presented as childish is so off for me too because while yes bendy in the toons was childish#it... it doesnt mean he Is a kid yknow#it isnt stated per se if he is one or not. but like#even if the comics count as noncanon novels. hes very clearly an adult. he holds a martini glass owns a home drives a car#yknow#and. and yeah his traumas are Not explored enough. i guess we get the projection onto audrey of raahhh youre bad like i am but otherwise#joey's memory also. i really do believe and enjoy his story. but i wish they made more of a seperation between the two. like#memory shouldve shown remorse for his original self's past. maybe shown and said to want to be better#maybe fix joey's mistakes too a bit !! have him talk about what hes done to help undo some of his damage or whatever. wouldve been great#characterisation. he is still a seperate person after all even if he is an extension of joey in some strange way#and finally. the character issues. oh lord. i wish so badly they used old characters. it was awfully strange seeing porter be advertised and#he has like... what. 5 or so minutes of screentime ? i feel like EVERY character was underutilised#they shouldve stuck to one or two for each department or company. developed ones preferably. have actual arcs in the audio logs like in bati#m. couldve saved a Lot of the story#i love these games dont get me wrong. i just wish they did them justice !! im yet to rewrite the stories out of love and i really am excited#to see what the future holds. i want to see this franchise and company learn from past errors and become the best version of themselves#thanks for reading if anyone did pffh. i love this game series so much and i love critiques that show it. my own or other's#Nope !! !
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