#BUT GOD LMAO........ 1 week now wtf.....................

[bangcakes]

.

[cieloclercs]

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 1/?

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

warnings. swearing, reader and charles are oblivious idiots but they’re cute so it’s ok, ending is annoyingly abrupt (sorry)

pairings. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note: so this is a multi-part social media fic inspired by this ask that i’ve been working on for a while. as always, all media and pictures used in this belongs to the original creators. hope you guys enjoy! ps, all i really know about art is what i learned in my gcse class (and my teacher was awful) so if i use any incorrect terminology at any point in this series i’m so sorry! i’m trying my best 🫶

liked by pierregasly and 11,386 others

yourusername monaco summer 🐚🌊🦋☁️

view all comments…

yourfriend prettiest ever 🥹

yourusername oh hush you 🤭

username girl your figure 😮

username she literally has my dream body 😭

charles_leclerc no photo credits? 😃

yourusername 🙄🙄 photo creds to char ig

arthur_leclerc looking a little windswept there

yourusername do you want me to block you again

arthur_leclerc no thanks u look very pretty !!!!

yourusername aww thank you arth 🥰

username wait who tf is this girl and how does she know charles??

username she’s his childhood best friend! they’ve known each other since they were five 🫶

username i firmly believe y/n y/l/n is a goddess not a human being

*charles_leclerc liked this comment

username CHARLES WHAT THE FUCK???

liked by carlossainz55 and 2,376,926 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc opening day for y/n’s latest exhibition, ‘flow’! je suis très fière de toi, mon artiste. ne jamais cesser de rêver 🌊 / beyond proud of you, my artist. never stop dreaming

view all comments…

username now if this isn’t obsessed boyfriend behaviour then i don’t know what is

yourusername aww charlie 🥹 merci de m'avoir soutenu, je vous en serai toujours reconnaissant / thank you for supporting me, i’m forever grateful

charles_leclerc toujours

username and they say they’re just friends?? THIS IS NOT FRIEND BEHAVIOUR

username omg these paintings are so beautiful! what’s the exhibition about?

charles_leclerc it’s a study of water and the ocean!

username they way he’s answering questions about y/n’s own exhibition for her 😭 babes ur not subtle x

username she’s so talented wtf

*charles_leclerc liked this comment

leclerc_pascale Incroyable 😍

yourusername merci, maman 🥰

username SHE CALLS PASCALE MAMAN OH MY GOD???

liked by joris_trouche and 17,936 others

yourusername summer break, week one ✅

view all comments…

username everyone say ‘thank you y/n’ for feeding us the soft charles content 🥹

username thank you y/n 🙏

joris_trouche elvis is the star of this dump

yourusername i’ll let him claw you again

joris_trouche PLEASE DONT

charles_leclerc woah who’s that handsome guy in slide 2? 😏

yourusername you wouldn’t know him he’s kind of annoying x

charles_leclerc ouch

username charles featuring twice?? we’re losing her 😔

username three guesses who took the pictures of y/n

username hmm…joris? 🤔

username try again

username elvis 🤨

username close!! but not quite

username is it maybe…charles?!

*charles_leclerc liked this comment

username bingo!!

username trade lives with me please 😫

charles_leclerc i hope summer never ends

yourusername you and me both

username he doesn’t want to go back to the sf-23 and ferrari fucking up his race every week 😔

*yourusername liked this comment

username LMAO Y/N LIKED

username she’s just as sick of ferrari’s shit as we are

joris_trouche everyone ignoring the fact that i’m also in this dump as well !!!

charles_leclerc mate you’re not even looking at the camera

username GAHAHAHA CHARLES

➜ part 2

[lovebvni]

Quick lil pick-a-pile (old, and yes i was denki obsessed and i still am. i love him)

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│ᵒᵖᵉⁿⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ...

╰─────────────────

[ 🖊 ] created ⋮ 31.3.22

[  ] published ⋮  4.4.22

˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨ ✰ Arsyn   ⋆  ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

┊       ⋆     welcome to my blog !

┊     °

hello loves! I haven't done a pick a pile in so long and i LOVE making these, this time i decided to challenge myself and make it an intuition instead of tarot (plus i don't have my tarot cards stfu)

The questions that will be answered today are:

1. A message from someone in your dr. (summitted by Ayaya)

2. What is holding you back from shifting? (summitted by IceChips)

3. How is your s/o doing? (summitted by IceChips)

pick an emoji!

💫|☮️|💥

Pile 1; starburst

1. A message from someone in your dr.

"Hey, hi! What are you up to? How has life been? You don't know? Well focus on it! You know, things may be hard, like hail falling on you, but you know what, I have a bulldozer to shelter you, so you know what. Keep pushing. Things may be hard, or something, but do the things you love, talk to the people you love, and you know what, while you're at it, draw someone from your dr or write something to them. I know they'll appreciate it!"

** Side notes: i felt some real best friend energy, maybe a sibling, or something? also getting in your family for some reason, somebody who would say weird ass shift like "a bulldozer from shelter" LAMOJSOIJTEJ **

2. What is holding you back from shifting?

First, I'm getting pretty much everyone picking this pile has not shifted. You're wondering why and overthinking it way too much. That's what's holding you back, overthinking everything you've done/are going to do. I heard "you dug your own grave; you have to make a way out now." You're not dead, you're alive and well. Get out of this hole by yourself. Play Minecraft, get a dog, and breed them (LMAO WTF AM I HEARING HELP) just have fun. Overthinking is just making this hole deeper. Also, while writing this, my cat kept going up and down the stairs, like she didn't know what to do. I think she felt stuck and doesn't know how to move forward OR backwards. I suggest some shadow work.

3. How is your s/o doing?

OMG IMMEDIETLY, I GOT SO MUCH HAPPIER OMG!! just joy came around me. I feel like they know you're gonna get past this hardship soon, and they're happy you even read this. I can tell they love you (feminine energy) so damn much, and they may be a bit clingy. "You got this, move forward, and you'll see the beautiful sunset."

Are sunsets important to you guys?

pile 2; peace

1. A message from someone in your dr.

"Do I have to do this? Oh my God." LITERAL BAKUGOU ENERGY OMG "Hi, I guess. Do something, don't just sit on your ass all day. That's all I got Arsyn, can I leave?" LMAO YES THEY ACTUALLY SAID THIS SHIT this person wants you to do something, like actually try to shift? I feel like you guys expect spirit to do everything. Nope. you have to put time and effort into this.

2. What is holding you back from shifting?

omg while typing the question i got a headache and now a toothache. Maybe you're beating yourself up for something that has no use, getting into fights, then being distracted from actually trying to shift. Avoid conflict, and things will get better. Also, I heard try to shift at least one time this week. Picking it back up will be really helpful : )

3. How is your s/o doing?

omg I'm getting so much mixed energy from this. for some your s/o is lowkey mad at you for not even trying to interact with you, but for others they're proud?? I'm gonna split this question up for each s/o energy I'm feeling.

S/o 2.1 is mad in general, again bakugou vibes, and just wants you to try and do something with your life. You know you can pick this shit up faster, you know you have enough energy to do it, but you're wasting that potential on shit that doesn't matter.

S/o 2.2 is proud that you've been resting but wants you to pick shifting back up because they want to see the REAL you, not your clone. I can tell they have a lot of love for you, and they always try to be positive when thinking about you, even when negative things happen. i also hear that you guys may be attracted to pile 3 for question 2? i haven't typed pile three atm so, ig see what's in store for you?

pile 3; explosion

1. A message from someone in your dr.

"HeyYYY whats up? how you doing? I know you've been waiting for someone to ask you that. Well, why don't you talk to people more about your interests if you think you have nobody to talk to? Talk to me about them!! Write your s/o a letter about them maybe? That's cool! Do that! Go! Shoo!"

2. What is holding you back from shifting?

Distractions. That's the only word I can use to describe me writing this last pile too. I've been distracted the whole time typing this. I've been so distracted. Mainly with gender identity shit (transgender memes mostly, I just sent IceChips a few) AND NOW IM LOOKIGN AT CUTE PUPPIES I MEAN LOOK AT THIS OMG

So some advice, focus on one thing. Use an ADHD method or something that won't make you fly away with funky thoughts. You got this. One step at a time, not five steps in a circle.

3. How is your s/o doing?

omg i can tell you guys are worried about them, thats so cute omg! i can tell you want to hug them, and i know the miss you too, they want hugs and kisses and they just want to make sure you're okay. I feel like they put you first and love physical touch. They miss you, but overall with academics, and live, they're good. They just miss you and want some hugs. Channel them and send them love, please.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 12

chapter 22:

1. 😟😟 all james wants is for sirius to be there for james the way james ALWAYS was for sirius

2. 😟 james wished hodge happy birthday even though hodge died yesterday. i- i am not okay

3. “Regulus never fails to look up. Evan would be proud of him for that, he thinks.” 😧 that was vile to put in there

4. james has resorted to BEGGING for medicine from sirius and can’t understand why sirius won’t send any. this hurts so bad

5. nope. i’m done. i can’t read any more. james started looking forward to death cause he would be out of this arena and out of pain. jfc i’m done

6. anyways. i’m back cause i couldn’t stop reading.

7. REGULUS AND JAMES ARE REUNITED!!! THANK GOD!!! 😊

8. 😧 wait nevermind. james just mistook regulus for sirius. “James has never, not once in his life under any circumstances, mistaken Regulus for Sirius”

9. james is delulu from medicine and reg just found out that the plan has always been to get reg home. this hits like a motherfucking truck

10. james is high as a fucking kite, can’t figure out why “sirius” is being mean to him, cause he’s never been mean to him. and is also wondering why “sirius” is oddly attractive for being mean

11. it takes james half a chapter, and reg cutting his shirt for james to realize it’s not sirius. cause sirius has different scars. i love james sm 😭😭

12. “What was Sirius thinking? Drugging James? In the middle of the fucking hunger games? That might be the most idiotic thing Regulus has ever known his brother to do, and this is Sirius he's talking about, so that's saying a lot. Sirius once flipped a cigarette in the air and tried to catch it with his mouth while it was lit, and kept doing it until he could actually consistently manage it, no matter how much it burned him. Though, in fairness, he can still do that trick to this day.”

LMAO WHAT??? that’s so random and i love it

13. 😧 legit sobbing. reg says that james lost the spark in his eyes. and he’s the one person he expected to never lose his spark

14. reg reveals that they both can go home. james’ spark is back. i’m sobbing harder now. they’re so in love

15. i eat, breathe, and dream those author end notes. bizzarestars writes their end notes the way my brain processes the fic. <33

chapter 23:

1. starting the chapter off with pain, i see. losing vanity changed james. like. horribly changed him.

2. “What Regulus hates more than James is his suffering.” jfc he’s so emotionally constipated

3. james is sad and all reg can think is hmmmm i want him to start flirting with me again, because it meant he was happy bitch wtf

4. awww they’re cuddling and just got a package! my babies are gonna make it out!

5. reg realizes he has to put on a show, so he offers to feed james. and wants to gouge his eyeballs out for offering that. 😭😭😭😭

6. i’m dying from embarrassment but this is also so fucking funny. reg is like. let’s talk about our feelings. for each other. and james is just like *head tilt* ???

7. “"You weren't my first crush, James," Regulus whispers. "You were my first love."”

james didn’t just make reg feel good, he made reg feel and i am NOT okay.

8. “This whole time, Regulus has been steady on the fact that he wouldn't kiss James to save his own life, but he's apparently willing to do it to save James'.”

JFC why is he so emotionally constipated???

9. THEY KISS????? james is gonna be heartbroken when he realizes it was all an act

10. oh thank god james realized. at least it broke his heart now and not in two weeks

11. *squints* now reg has never wanted anything more than this kiss. girl. please. realize.

12. god, i’ve never read a kiss more beautifully and emotionally desperate written.

13. 😏 reg called him baby again!

14. oh god, maybe i’m just as bad as everyone in the hallow. maybe i’m just as bad as them. cause i enjoy their romance. i enjoy it so much. maybe i’m just as bad as the hallow for that. i- i think this every time i read the hunger games.

15. “James wants to sink his teeth into Regulus and leave the deep imprints of his teeth from one jutting hip bone to the other.” sometimes i forget that jegulus is a little unhinged in ways like this. and every time i’m reminded, I LOVE IT

16. “"You treat me like I'm stupid for daring to see good in people, but if there's no good in anyone, then what's the fucking point?"”

this entire section. this. this is what james is all about

17. 😟 authors note just told me i’m no better than a hallow. for my excitement over jegulus. and- yeah. i guess so. i’m so sorry y’all

[mwagneto]

im actually so upset about our money, we shop in slovakia at least once a week (pros of living next to the border), and even with the 415 ft=1 euro, its still worth it lmao (hungarian grocery shop prices are insane), but also wtf do you mean 415!!!! 4 1 5

And wtf do you mean 1 dollar is almost 400 ft now. Like what. (But i dont mind that much, because i have some usd from doing art online), crazy times we are living now... forint basically worth nothing soon, we are going forwaaaard

yeah it's actually sick like what do you meannnn😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 a dollar being 400 is so. ohh my fucking god. and yeah we usually go to austria to get groceries in bulk💀💀 it's so fucking dire i cant even think abt it or I'll go insane

[miniwritesrefs]

2024 Book List

Books read: Approx. 14+ (some books missing from this list)

Trials of Apollo [1] - Rick Riordan

I was a Percy Jackson kid in the late stages of high school, I jumped on the train late, and never finished. Trials of Apollo made me want to read them again--especially because of references that I just did not fully understand as it called back to other books XD Apollo is the character of all time though, love to see this man now boy go through it. If anyone had to be humbled, I'm glad it was him so he could become a good dad in the future and possibly pass that on to the other gods (x to doubt).

Some Faraway Place [Audio Book] - Lauren Shippen

I'm still a Rose un-enjoyer, but the book itself was incredibly enjoyable. It fed my Damien Enjoyer cravings, and Rose's story in and of itself is interesting, between her family and relationships, but I just... don't vibe with her. It's okay to not like people, she's one of them, I don't hate her. Gave me intense inspo for a TBS game.

Jackaby [Audio Book] - William Ritter

Jackaby was an incredibly interesting book. While I can't put this one into words, it was highly enjoyable, and the narration was top notch! Supernatural, and banshees, and werewolves oh my. A funky little Sherlock Holmes type.

The Cure for Burnout [Ironically Unfinished] - Emily Ballestros

Hahaha.

Garlic and the Vampire [Graphic Novel] - Bree PaulsenGarlic and the Witch [Graphic Novel] - Bree Paulsen

Garlic is such a little baby, I love Bree Paulsen's graphic work, and that's all there is to say on the matter.

Into the Pit [Unfinished] - Scott Cawthon

LBR I just read it for the one story. Will try to finish the others another time.

Indebted to the Vampires [1] - Erin Bedford

UH. So it's host club fanfic with ocs, but bad host club fanfic. Also a little smutty, but just a little clunky. 

Wicked Appetite [Audio Book] - Janet Evanovich

It had an okay concept! The narration made it extra hard, and I hated Dissel's personality. The gluttony charms (gluttonoids??) had awful effects, and sure it made sense but I didn't like them dfdgh. A one off read.

Bride [Unfinished] - by Ali Hazelwood

LMAO I, couldn't do it. They named the girl Misery and- Despite this books placement on the page, I'm pretty sure I bought this book in January and just couldn't get through it. And then I read the content warnings on the website at the end of the year and I cant believe they just had this one sitting in the front of Target like a prize...

The Hunger Games [Book and Audio Book interchangably]

This book was better than I remember and yet more emotional (for me) than I remember. Just getting through that first iconic scene of Katniss volunteering for Prim made me teary and emotional. The way they all banded together the moment she did, a silent act of solidarity. That in itself felt like the true first moment of rebellion in a way. It's terrible to think of, kids so young, going into an arena knowing they're bound to die. And the twist of them being told they could both live, only to have it snatched away--if it were Cato and Glimmer(?), there would have been no hesitation, only Katniss could come up with a stunt like that. The worldbuilding was great, and I know we see more of it in the next book, I just have to... get to it. I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE DOG PART, AND I'M STILL MAD ABOUT IT, WTF--Truly I must have blocked that part out. That was so rude dfghgj

Aisle Nine [Audio Book] - Ian X Cho

Black Friday apocalypse? Yeah. Post apocalyptic apocalyptic setting where the main characters are older teens working retail. The plot twist was interesting, the side characters were goofy (in a good way). A tale about hope in hopelessness, with a bit of that YA romance aspect sprinkled in. Wasn't *unbearable*, but end game was always apparent. I kept forgetting the MC's name throughout the story wheeeze (Sorry Casper- oop I mean Jasper). 

The Week Before [Dubiously Finished] - Scott Cawthon

Choose your own adventure of Ralph! Phone Guy gets a name! Phone Guy has a daughter,,, yeesh, poor guy. Fnaf's biggest fan and they did him dirty like this, can't believe.

Books I'm looking forward to finishing:

The Cinnamon Bun Book Store - Laurie Gilmore

Reflected Light - F.Nevarez

[isakvaltersnake]

first watch was for me, now second watch for THOUGHTS

Act 1:

obsessed with the way they turn into each other when the cake is coming down slash how Henry slips into Alex when getting up

zahra is so hot my goD I want her to top me

Henry showing off in his fuck boy raybans and fancy vintage car YOU WANT HIM TO WANT YOU SO BAD ITS EMBARRASSING

Henry’s soul leaving his body at “Vicky 👊”

Henry being turnt by the way alex smells

Henry’s “I need to get out of here” upon first meeting alex and deeply understanding that this beautiful boy could ruin the charred remains of his heart if he let him

Henry IMPOSSIBLY AND HOPELESSLY CHARMED

straight up FUCK miguel

Henry using bitmojis is how you really textually understand he has like 1 friend

Henry is so bad at dancing oh baby you would’ve been laughed out of a middle school gym with those moves

why am I mad that everyone got low at the wrong part of the song

ALEX WANTS TO LOOK COOL IN THE RED ROOM SO BAD ITS EMBARASSING

THE LOOK WHEN HENRY LEAVES ALEXS ROOM FUUUUUUUUCKING HELL

Act 2:

the fucking polo scene. Alex so horned up, Henry so sweaty. chefs kiss

henry infinitely smoother than alex wow

only momentarily AND ALEX TOOK THAT AS A CHALLENGE

Henry playing with that fucking ring like it’s a noose around his neck

ALEX FFS ACT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN SOMEWHERE BEFORE

this sex scene actually just being a clean demonstration of two people who fill each other with so much comfort and peace engaging in a physical act of love wowwww they invented romance wtf

I do love this alex in texas side quest seeing as there wasn’t time for the book storyline

SHOULD I TELL YOU THAT WHEN WE’RE APART YOUR BODY COMES BACK TO ME IN MY DREAMS

giggling during sex is peak romance these nerds are IN LOVE

HE SAID NO SO FAST THESE NERDS ARE IN LOOOOOVE

“look at us now” and the way I yelled DIVORCED OSCAR?!

“it won’t even matter if anyone sees us” the way you could see henrys heart shatter in real time jesus

i felt myself getting too close and i didn't want to break his heart. henry, my love, baby girl, boo boo the fool.

Act 3:

BECAUSE IT COSTS YOU NOTHING. No Henry in fact this is costing me everything. Kwjakasnsnkanskamskkaksjmsbwkkss

I will not trade one prison for another SORRY THE ANGST GIRLIES ARE EATINGGGG

sorry but if the love of my life ever danced with me in a low lit museum and told me he would try to be brave for us I would simply cease to exist

low key lmao and well done @ Alex’s grip on Henry in bed cause the last time they slept together Henry snuck out in the middle of the night and ghosted him for a week straight

ngl I hate that they didn’t even get a phone call before the speech

ok so i didn't get america he is my choice but i did get i fell in love with a person who happens to be a man and that man happens to be a prince

baby he says like I haven’t been waiting like an hour and a half to hear it

Alex watching Henry play piano oh honey he is never beating the competency kink allegations

stephen fry Alex already admitted it what’s your endgame my dude

Henry leaning back to talk back to his gramps like he was going into sport mode was v sexy actually

THE FINGER TOUCHES

straight up Rachel Maddow with more lines that pez, she should’ve had her own promo

Henry with the hand hold/hand in the crook of alex’s arm combo was so baby girl of him I couldn’t be prouder

they traded the key and the ring back cause it was only til they could have all of each other again and now they can pls kill me this is the end

do you think anyone noticed? I hate him so much omfg

[jedidiahjunior]

First off all: they weighed gunner again and he’s either 11 pounds 4 ounces OR 11.4 pounds idk with Americans and their measuring systems but regardless that’s a big boy!!!!

How was this birth compared to the rest?

It was her favorite (“so far”). The first day was long, the second day was quick!

Do you like hospital births? (Given that birth #1 was supposed to be a home birth)

She loves it! Knowing there are professionals there and having an epidural (she made this 👌🏻 sign about it lmao)

Breastfeeding or formula feeding?

Joy is breastfeeding, even though she had planned to bottle feed (idk if she meant pumping and giving it in a bottle or formula in a bottle) since she hated breastfeeding Gideon and “didn’t love” breastfeeding evy. But she “and Austin” (which…. Wtf) decided to try for a couple weeks and it’s actually going really well!

Which labor was the hardest to recover from?

Gideon, the c section baby, followed by evy because she had to push for so long.

How is life with 3 kids?

Busy! They have a good support system but joy often feels like she never sees Austin, has downtime etc

How did Gideon’s c section affect the plans for the quiver?

They purposely didn’t try to get pregnant for a whole year after Gideon, at their doctors suggestion! (I’ve assumed they’ve been using some kind of family planning but it’s wild to see her outright admit it!)

How are you?

She struggled with ppd after Gideon, Annabel and evy (proud of her to openly talk about it!!), which was probably made worse by poor diet/sleep deprivation/not taking vitamins etc. this time she being more proactive (good for her!!) and right now she’s doing well.

Sleep training?

Nope, tried with Gideon but it didn’t work. Now she just takes it as it comes.

Finding time for god?

She hasn’t been making her Bible study a priority “like [she] should”, but she’s having Bible reading with the kids every day. She often sets high goals and when she doesn’t have the time she does none of it instead.

Postpartum vitamins?

B, c, iron, thyroid meds, she’s on a bunch more.

Favorite snacks?

Beef sticks, cheese sticks. Carnivore diet babey I guess

Losing baby weight?

She has a hard time loosing weight, but she’s just focusing on eating healthy. Lots of protein (hence the beef sticks I suppose!)

The big question! How many kids do y’all want?

Joy and Austin has said 4 or 5 (!!!!!!) but they’re not sure. Joy doesn’t feel “done” yet, and she loves the baby phase.

[weirdcat1213]

Its time for the weekly horrors- I mean Trimax vol 3 >:3

The Thoughts:

chap 1:

-AH EVERYTHING IS FALLING

-bro you are about to get into a fight can you stop thinking about your bf for 5 minutes

-fr tho, vash's words making him hesitate/angry is so dcfgjhbkml

-why everyone wants my babygirl dead :c

-now now, comparing someone with their brother isnt a nice thing to do

-oh so now we're not even making an allegory, he actually called him jeesus

-also "your soul is forced to endure the sorrow by the hundreds, suffering by the thousands, and the rage by the hundreds of thousands" im gonna throw up cuz of how that GOOD and PAINFUL that shit is

-the polar opposite of being a human huh...i mean besides something i said weeks ago about how he's further away from humanity more than he would like that point is interesting cuz most of the time we call him someone who is more human than any other person. he carries more pain than any human could endure and definitely has more patience than anyone will ever have but...hm...i want to come back to this

-ww pls dont make me cry today pls honey

-oh im gonna cry

-"your ideals will join you in the grave" i fucking hate thats the reason why we all try to be better people, thanks to that fucking wet cat of a man i cannot deal actually

-MILLIE :D

chap 2:

-i dont have much to say about battles but let it be on the record that I'm enjoying ww's eyes sm

-oh page 38 is cool as hell

-OH SHIT IS THAT HIS FUCKING SPINE????

chap 3:

-ww stop having pretty eyes youre distracting

-meanwhile :3

-ah geesus the body horror (so good but creepy)

-EYES :D

-so many fucking details. nightow got down even the smallest scribbles, as 98 vash would say

-oh right that....thats still upsetting

-i fucking swear people need to leave my son alone

-also fucking hate that he had to SHOOT A BABY even if it was fake

-I FUCKING HATE THIS ACTUALLY

-i can feel his fucking mind breaking i cant do this

chap 4:

-"i cant do this" yet here i am lmao

-i think if vash held me like hes holding that girl a lot of my problems would be resolved ngl

-characters reciting names always get to me :c

-also HA EAT THE PTSD ASSHOLE

-"why are there so many" brad you may want to sit down for this one

-..................i deadass thought "oh the doctor is here" IVE READ THIS BEFORE AND I FELL FOR IT AGAIN

-vash with his hair down :3

-nah hes not gonna kill you BUT HE FUCKING SHOULD

-oh i will kill so many people (vash is bleeding)

-hm. this reminds me of something in houseki no kuni (i wont spoil but maybe ichikawa had trigun as inspo which would be cool af)

chap 5:

-oh im yeeting myself (ww thinks about the children) -ww gives in his anger and fear when punching those weirdass faces but I'm gonna say this once: that doesn't make him weaker or worst. i haven't seen anyone think that of ww, i just feel that when he compares himself to vash he feels that way and i cant stand it :)

-vash i fucking swear-

-oh god the fingers...the fucking fingers...

-oh you are NOT talking to my vash about pain and agony

-OH WAIT I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD THAT PANEL OH GOD NO I HATE REREADS WTF

-XD my girls

no wait i need to get back to that. i thought that was emilio's dad not fucking vash himself oh my god I'm sick so sick actually wtfffffffffffff

chap 6:

-is this the chapter with the gays eyes cuz I'm not ready for that-

-oh fuck you nightow. fuck you for putting knives in the title page and the title being "families"

-i want to punch so many things but I'm at work. fuck

-also i forgot about this stampede parallel GOD WHEN DOES MY SUFFERING END

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO THE GAY EYESSSSSSS

-yeah i agree this is literally the moment. like fuck. fuck actually. fuck what else is there to say.

-fuck

-like hes so fucking terrified that he was afraid for him, what his journey is causing ww, but even if he wanted ww to stay away and safe he knows ww would say fuck off, but also vash would not be able to take it

-THERES SO MUCH FEAR AND LOVE IN THOSE EYES IM GONNA BITE MY HAND

-OH I CANT ACTUALLY WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH WTF

-im so fucking upset cuz the last 3 chapters were basically fights. they were full of energy and shit but now that is over and they are in a rare moment of peace, and everything fucking hits.

-im gonna go outside and step into oncoming traffic

-YES LUIDA MY QUEEN SHUT HIM UP

-WOLFWOOD :D pls never leave me

-i....*implodes*

-i am nothing. i just remembered that.

-OH CMONNNNNN

chap 7

-maybe i dont want to read trimax anymore. maybe a little person like me isn't strong enough for a 2nd round of the pain. with that in mind, lets keep reading :D

-WHERES THE NIGHTOW PUNCHING BAG WHEN YOU NEED IT

-wolfwood what he is it doesnt matter i swear pls cant you just love him?

-:c

-i dont like vash being emotionally attached to stuff cuz that means i have to yell HES LIKE ME FR FR

-oh that....that beautiful panel...amazing

-i think my mind blocked this out because of the previous sad things that happened, so now my brain is allowing me to process more sad things :3

-"i still have so much i must do" and i see i still have many tears to cry out huh?

-ofc wolfwood would ask about redemption

-cant my man show an important part of his past and show vulnerability in front of his friends in peace? damn

-im gonna start bitting my glasses

-GAY MOMENT PART 2 INCOMING

-luida pls i want to stop crying

-oh wolfwood honey....you just fell so hard for my man didnt ya

-i just realized the chapter is called "life as a" and I THINK the idea is to complete it with "life as a 'vash the stampede'" cuz he's not human

OK GREAT NOW I CAN RUN TO THE WASHROOM AND FUCKING CRY :D

[carmenized-onions]

SIGH you got me good with this one I fear

Okay so the chap is still fresher in my mind this time since I read yesterday!! Itemized yap sheet incoming below based mostly on the order they happened

1) Yoooooo

That just cracked me up okay. Had to add. But also like. I love them. I love that Tony is so nervous to catch up with Richie bc it means talking abt mikey, but also relieved and excited ish to talk to richie bc it means talking abt mikey does that makes ykwim

2) AAAAAAA listen the way that Carmy thinks about Tony to calm down?? Like hes having a panic attack and he thinks about Tony and is calmed slightly by smelling her shampoo in his hair literally makes me ILL

2b) kinda related but also like not ?? But Anyway Like. Carmy like unsure whether or not he is actually scared/believes Richie when he says he could end his relationship with tony got me like on my knees in my workplace when I read that bc UGH he has absolutely zero confidence and i just want to kiss his face okay. Also him not really wanting to share tony with Richie is so real of him actually. Like he wants Tony to just be his and that's so sweet.

3) if we dont find out the chip storyline ill riot if only for Carmy's sake cause like Carm, im also now very intrigued that Richie didn't immediately blab when prompted but also go richie thats very cute

4)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Scream break mb

5) last one but like the painting??? The way that it starts with the beef and has like pictures of before and stuff and the mid point is mikey and then it has pictures from like the building process and ends with the The Bear sign? IM DECEASED YOU KILLED ME THATS SO GOOD WHAT LITERALLY WHAT

6)okay im i liar whatever could i edit the post yes will i no. I digress. Last one fr. So the way both their lil povs end with them saying on friday they'll do right by each other??? Im so gone actually wtf

Anyways as always i adore you and your writing RAAAA

HEHEHEH GOTCHU!!! GOT YOUR ASS!!!

yoooooooo -- The next convos are really some of my favourite to write, i get to amp up the funny and math out what their texting styles would probably be, it's fun!!

Also yes, it's very much that part of grief where it's like a knife to talk about them, but it's also nice, it's weird when in the grief process, everyone around you acts like that person just simply Never Happened in fear of being triggering-- It's nice for Tony and Richie to get to talk raw!! Even if it's anxiety inducing to lead with it!!

2. Hehehhehe, he does it a LOT, When he called her before, trying and failing to get her voicemail, when he was having an episode in the diner and then Tony came back and he became Normal mostly. Grounding Tool but it's a Person

3. listen baby, I don't put a gun in the first act just to not fire it. I've had this backstory since chapter two. And honestly, I was extremely nervous that someone was gonna guess it and I was being too obvious. Thank God, no one has, yet-- But also no one's guessed, so like, feel free to throw in your guesses, love to hear em.

4. AHHHHHHHH!!!! Here let's see, during this scream break what can I give you...

This is what I'm screaming over, personally. This is Chapter 10 alone, LMAO. AND I'M NOT EVEN DONE LMAOOOO. The goal for me is to get it out this Friday, so it's like, timely and on theme. But we'll see how tired I am, this work week. Might've just gotten a commission (that I honestly don't want to take lmaoo) so we'll see. Fingers crossed. It's definitely gonna need me to take my eyes off it for a day and come back to, so keep your fingers crossed, for me.

5. OH GOOD! I was worried I described it poorly; there's always that fear, when you have to make the thing that's like the thing of the story, and if it's not good then what the FUCK WAS IT FOR!!!!!????

I'm vv happy to hear it killed you, is what I'm trying to say. I also thought the idea was very sweet. Hehhehe

6. You're always free to yap on end, never fear such a thing. Yes!! Their POVs start and end the same way, which is just like, a cute lil touch, yknow. Two anxious mfs. In the club tnnnnn, trying to do right by each other if it fuckin' KILLS them

thank you thank you thank u as always i love to hear this and i hope u enjoy Friday whenever the FUCK it comes out.

[currymuncherxxx0]

Obey me demon brothers with a Chav! Mc

Okay so this hc is gonna be comedy lol. Its the obey me brothers with an mc who is such a chav. A chav is basically a very popular British girl in British schools or anywhere it doesn't have be in school lol. If you're British you'll understand lmao. #chav

As you arrived in devildom you had a very salty look on your face. Your fake lashes falling off, your face looking disgusted and your orange foundation and dark contour stands out.

Lucifer: Lucifer will obviously be very annoyed and irritated. This human causes more chaos than mammon himself. She's too loud and petty. And not to forget, the litres of Victoria's secret perfume sprayed on herself and in her room. It killed his airways. Lucifer comes to her to scold her about spraying too much perfume in the house of lamentation until she replies "Oh my god bruv, it actually bare stinks in this room yeah, you lot need to know what hygiene is." With that, Lucifer got frustrated. "MC! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU CONTINUE TO SPRAY PERFUME IN THE HOUSE??! IT WILL DAMAGE THE AIR!!" "Okay and, I don't care fam. It still smells like clapped pussios." Lucifer gets more confused now. More and more confused. He don't know a single thing about British slang. But as time went on, the MC and lucifer did have a love hate relationship. In fact, Lucifer even wanted to visit London with MC.

Mammon: Being the second born tsundere, Mammon is obviously gonna be like, "Oi, I don't like ya, MC!" and then he blushes. But when the MC is like, "Okay and? You keep staring at me like a bare madman still. You're clapped anyways." Mammon got more confused. What is clapped? As soon as he finds out what it actually means, Mammon starts sobbing into his pillows every day and night. Although Mammon was an idiot, he was never insulted by someone he loved. Since all of his brothers treated him like shit and insulted him badly. He had to cope with that trauma. A few weeks later, the MC realises how much she's hurt his feelings. "Look bruv. I'm sorry, okay? Look, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings still. It's just that I grew up having to be a salty skept. Forgive me still." With that, Mammon is a bit skeptical but forgives mc. The next time any roadman try to shank MC up, Mammon is here with her in his demon form. And if any girl tries to steal Mammon away from the MC, MC will smoke them still.

Leviathan: Now we all know that Levi is always in his room, watching some random h3nt@1 shit or playing video games. And he probably didn't shower for weeks. And because of that, MC does laugh at him. "Oi you man. What the fuck did you do with your hair, why does it look like some purple bowl? Are you Justin Bieber on crack mate? You're butters! Take a shower as well, fam." With that, Levi was just like "w-well you're obviously not gonna l-like a-an o-otaku like m-me." I swear, this guy gives pick me boy vibes. But the second that Levi takes off his shirt and his toned, outlined 6 pack and chest is showing, the MC is more confused now and also intrigued. "O-oi, MC, s-stop l-looking at me!" "Alai, you're actually so fit icl. You're leng. Since when did you have a chocolate bar shaped body when you're in that prison all day just busting shit?? You're tasty, bruv." And with that, the two of them have hate love relationships again. Levi swears to protect the MC from the opps. And MC swears to scrap anyone who even steals her bf away.

Satan: Well, Satan does has anger and daddy issues. So don't fuck with him or else you'll get smoked by him innit. "Oi, you! Yeah you, you yeah! You look like Cat Noir from poundland still." With that, Satan gets angry. "Well at least I'm smarter than you, kid." He's a bit angry. "You're calling big man a kid?? Nah. I'm a big man, pussio. I'll chef you and your dad up, wait you have daddy issues lololol" Satan has turned intona green flash and then into his demon form. "WTF DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, B***!! ILL FUCKNG BREAK YOUR NECK!!" Satan was destroying everything around him now. "Okay okay fam, calm down fam. No need to act mental and that, get a grip mate. Sorry fam. Geez, you're so sensitive blud." Throughout time, they're still enemies. Yeah.

Asmodeus: Asmo is gonna be the one that the MC hates the most. MC thinks that he's too feminine as a man. As Asmo applies a heavy amount of foundation, concealer, contour, blusher, face powder, glittery pink, orange and yellow eyeshadow, thick eyeliner, long long false lashes, highlighter, bronzer and purple lipstick, MC just looks at him, weirdly. "What the fuck are you doing, bruv? You look bare zesty." Asmo does not know a single thing about British slang so instead he says this. "Oh, sorry for stating the facts that I'm beautiful hun. You're just jealous that I can blend my contour and concealer better than you, you just look more orange than Donald trump, your crusty musty looking concealer lips." MC gets angry. "Oi, what the fuck did you just say to me, bruv?? Do you wanna scrap?? I'll smoke you fam, don't fuck with me innit." Asmo isn't scared at all. "Well try and do that, love. You won't be able to walk the next day, hun~~~ 😏" of course he's gonna be some horny ass mf.

Beelzebub: Tbh, I think MC would kind of get along with Beel. Yes, she would find it irritating that beel eats the whole fridge but still. I have a feeling tha MC would actually have a crush on Beel. "Oi, Ed Sheeran looking man! Yeah you! You're leng still! You look fit! Man eats the whole fridge and still has bare tits and biceps." And yeah, MC and beel just have a nice friendship. As time went on, Beel smoked more oops and roadmen who touched MC and MC scrapped any chav that would lay a finger on her bodybuilder bf.

Sorry I didn't add belphie, I'll try to do that in the next part 😭

[rollercoasterwords]

hi rae how are uu!!!

i was reading about mulvey and the female gaze and i remembered you saying something about how it pushes bioessentialist agendas but i don't remember what u said exactly so do you mind sharing a piece of ur mind about this again

also!!!!! i've read captive prince with ur influence and then read ur laurent's pov rewrite and god!!!!! it was so so good it brought me to tears and made me laugh out loud and scream into my pillow at times... the first book didn't stick out to me that well but afterwards?? their dynamic is everything i was missing in life. also reading the first book in laurent's pov was an otherworldly experience, him getting surprised to see damien isn't the definition of all things evil like he thought ahhhh u captured him perfectly i think

also read all for the game series (saw a fanart of neil in ur blog and it kickstarted me getting into yet another fandom) and i was like wtf is this and then later i was like wtf is this but in a positive way. now the characters are all my babies (except kevin like yes i understand his struggles and all but i still see that guy as a little bitch which is a bit ironic when andreil are the biggest bitches to exist but still)

also binge-watched iwtv and goddddd gays with communication problems who happen to be vampires i love them all sm <333 do u have a fav character i wonder AND any thoughts on the last episode?

anyways i hope life is treating you kindly much kisses and good wishes <3

hi i'm good hope ur doing good as well!! such a fun message hang on let me take this piece by piece...

mulvey's male gaze the bane of my existence lmao...yeah the entire theory is rooted in bioessentialism. basically mulvey is basing her theory in freud who assumes that the categories 'father' 'mother' 'son' and 'daughter' are stable + static & therefore assumes that the categories 'male' and 'female' are stable + static biological categories which engender inherently different psychic/interior qualities. mulvey's entire argument hinges on the idea that men will be categorically unable to relate to/empathize with/see themselves as women onscreen--this argument begins to break down when you start asking questions like 'how is mulvey defining 'men' and 'women'? is she defining them, or is she assuming that they're static biological categories? are they static biological categories?' also i disagree with the idea that people are categorically unable to identify with characters across sex and/or gender & think it's kinda dumb tbh. to be fair, mulvey's theory was meant to apply to a pretty specific context and has largely been taken out of that context in ways that are very annoying but not necessarily her fault; still, when the original theory is so rooted in bioessentialism i don't really find any of it useful.

anyway. moving on to the fun stuff captive prince omg!! so glad u enjoyed the series & my own take on laurent...it was SO fun trying to get inside his head & imagine what would have been going on in there i love him so much <3 <3 tricky to write tho bc i was definitely trying 2 walk the line of like. not diminishing/excusing laurent's cruelty while simultaneously showing why he acts the way he does in the first book...abuse as cyclical etc...

and aftg lol such a trip...wtf is honestly an accurate response it's a wild ride but so much fun <3 & not liking kevin...valid honestly i like him but i also don't care abt him that much compared 2 the other characters...u should read 'the sunshine court' at some point it's abt jean & it will probably make u like kevin even less lmao

& finally. iwtv!!!!!!!! i've been obsessed w that show the past few weeks i just binge watched season 1 & have now been watching season 2...SO fucking good omg. personally my favorite character is. armand <3 idc what he does they could never make me hate him...last episode was soooo good claudia is my second-fave character just a smidge after armand i truly think her story is probably the most interesting + tragic out of all of them like. makes me feel a bit crazyinsane thinking abt it BUT her & madeleine. oh my goddddd that scene broke me. don't have many more coherent thoughts currently other than wailing + tearing my hair out etc but i am having a great time nonetheless...

anyway thank u 4 the message love catching up life has been busy but mostly treating me kindly hope it's doing the same for u!! <3

[girlhorse]

in college when i had my first major ocd breakdown and had to go on meds i thought i had really bad GAD lol. that was my only diagnosis. but um i now recognize that it was absolutely full blown ocd lol

tw below for some OCD stuff i feel like sharing for some reason. may delete later bc i am going to get very ~vulnerable~

i was really scared to explain my thoughts to anyone bc 1) i knew logically they were bizarre and that embarrassed me and 2) i was scared talking about my intrusive thoughts would make them come true

basically i was obsessed with thoughts that my now ex was going to be in harms way or die, especially when it had been like. idk. more than 20 minutes from texting me

my intrusive thoughts were so strange..i would come up with really whacky ways that they could be fatally injured. like slipping in the shower or choking to death.

I knew these were unreasonable and weird and I did my absolute best to not pester my ex or make it weird. I didnt want to pressure her to do anything because of my out of control anxiety but it was getting super out of hand

I was getting so sick that I was having panic attacks if i hadnt heard from them in a couple hours, i threw up a few meals because of it

eventually i just stopped sleeping. Every time I started to fall asleep, my body jolted me awake. I had very little appetite and was holding back gags while eating.

The things I didn't really consider to be compulsions are pretty obvious to me now. on top of like intense magical thinking (believing my unusual thoughts were either going to cause something bad or that I had some sort of clairvoyance) i had begun publicly checking my pulse any time i was anxious. I thought i was being discreet but honestly my friends noticed it and asked me wtf i was doing ☠️ i was putting my two fingers on my jugular vein to see if i was panicking or anxious.

i also had a problem with compulsively reading the news in their area if i thought they had been hurt. in the attempt to get ahead of it. I was checking traffic data and friends blogs. It was honest to God a bit stalkerish and i knew that but i was terrified

I did tell them about it eventually and they were very gracious about it.

but this went on for a long time, probably months. Somehow i still coped with college classes and didn't fail anything but i was in a pass/fail school so no pressure to do substantially well

eventually i finally got my as to the doctor bc the therapy i was doing did Not work (it ws self guided CBT. I do not think the campus therapsit was equipped to handle the Brains issue i had)

i got put on a low dose of prozac, but when that didnt work (literally threw up a pill due to anxiety lmao) my doc increased the dose significantly and that helped quite a bit.

Anyway i stopped having so bad of OCD that i couldnt function, but of course i still have my moments

it took me like a couple weeks to figure out my fear was largely surrounding uncertainty and the inability to control things.

i think to be honest it is still present. and it seems to be triggered by major life events. Enzo is my new Subject but I'm better able to cope. It was hard when he was little leaving home, i was always scared I'd come back to a d*** puppy bc of something I did wrong. But! hes fine, we're fine. Him getting sick has been hard to deal with Because of this but im dealing. Im doing my best to just accept my obsrssions instead of fighting them or letting them spiral out of control

IDK what the point od this post is i just feel like i have to get it off my chest and i dont have a therapy appointment this week ❤️❤️❤️ my public tumblr is my diary:)

[starjxsung]

hi hi bb! how are you?

i’m moving to the floor upstairs in my apartment complex bc they’re turning my apartment into an office! we just got that done today. but i literally just received the most frustrating news ever.

so im supposed to be doing a practicum the whole next year at a center that they assigned me. so they tell me like in may to get my practicum supervisor’s number from a former student and coordinate the schedule for my work. (this is kinda on me, i really didnt pay too much attention to texting the supervisor three months before starting). so i texted her like a week ago and she responds today saying that she’s in vacation and that if i was one of the students that she interviewed that i shouldn’t have any problems. and im like ??!? so i text my practicum coordinator bc they’re supposed to have a contract and my spot available. nobody told me anything about an interview or having to compete for my spot. and nobody knew who made the initial contact with the supervisor so i could text her back and explain the situation. and im just so frustrated at the lack of organization bc like, you’re supposed to make sure that they’re keeping my spot before assigning the center to me?? and if my spot wasn’t guaranteed you should’ve told me so i could contact them beforehand?!? bc last practicum i did, my professor introduced me to my supervisor and here they didn’t even make contact with the supervisor beforehand. so my professor is trying to work things out bc maybe imma have to change centers :))) yay i love grad school. tbh if they give me a hard time imma drop out idgaf anymore <3 and like, if they had told me that i needed to work everything out in may i would’ve done it but they just said to talk about the scheduling so it pisses me off that now my spot isn’t guaranteed (also my grad school bestie dropped out bc the program is literally trash and the coordinators gave no fucks or anything :))) gr8)

i still haven’t preordered my album but i rlly want to but i rlly shouldn’t before lolla (i probs will).

and fr i wanted to buy some new ones for lolla but decided against it bc i had to break them in. so ill be wearing my crusty ones bc they’re the best <3

pink haired seonghwa hits sooo different too </3 ik i had another ateez dream but i can’t remember it </33 i hate when that happens :(((

i love momo, she’s so bestie coded <3 i hope you’ve had such a good week!! i send you so much love <33

-🐈‍⬛

NOOOOO OH MY GOD????? This sounds legit EXACTLY what my sister is going through. She’s doing an internship next year and she was assigned a program at a center but the lack of organization is actually INSANE…. She’s had to follow up so many times about wtf she’s supposed to be doing and SO many people within the program have ended up just dropping out bc nobody communicates anything. When she first had the interview they said QUOTE “you’ll hear back from us in 1 week about whether you got the position”. And 2 months later she heard nothing, so naturally she assumed she didn’t secure the internship and she was crying like every single day trying to scramble to find something else. I finally pushed her to just reach out and be like heyyy wtf is the status of this… and they were basically like “oh yeah you got the job we thought someone reached out to you already”. She starts in August officially but no joke EVERY checkpoint for this internship has been a nightmare of what she’s supposed to be doing. No communication, no scheduling, everybody’s magically on vacation when she reaches out. She has to chase after them like she’s doing THEM some kind of favor by remembering they have a new fuckin intern. What a joke lmao

I am so so so sorry the same thing seems to be happening to you :( I am manifesting everything in my SOUL that you’re able to still have the position secured (my sister was able to after 2 months, so there’s hope !!) but it’s so beyond FUCKED that they didn’t tell you any of this before. People wonder why these positions aren’t filled more and then they treat people within that field of work like this…. yeah I sure wonder the fuck why everyone’s quitting 🤨

Hoping so hard for you bby :( my sister’s having a hard time being excited for lolla bc she’s so stressed about all of it and I don’t blame her (or you) for being so frustrated with all of this. I really really hope everything turns out okay. And if it doesn’t, I have no doubt you’ll still be able to secure something else at another center. Most everyone in my sister’s class had issues with their practicum but they ALL got something in the end and lived to tell the tale. I’m sure you will too 🤞💓

Sending you so much love from me and the lil fluffy kid (who got a new collar this week and it’s purple !! I’ll post pics when I get it on her) we love u very much and we’re always rooting for u 💖🫶💝🩷💘 also I hope moving’s going okay and I’m manifesting more Ateez dreams for u always. Love u bby :(

[tunasundays]

Sunday April 7

hehe hi,

I recently rewatched Mtvs Awkward and remembered how much I loved having a little blog when I was 13. I got lonely tonight and had so many thoughts and I was distraught when I have no one to throw my thoughts at. So here I am typing to the void of the internet. This little blog is just gonna be a collection of thoughts classic diary style! I just wanna be able to post little entries of the different thoughts. I know it must be somewhat of a common experience for us ex Tumblr girlies that miss that random connection with people you don't know that have the same interest as you. I also just have so many fun sexy stories to tell and no one to tell them too.

lets dive in

starting with music

I am listening to The Last Dinner Party and I just am feeling the energy I felt when I watched YellowJackets. Is this a shared experience??? dying to know.I just listened to the Prelude to Ecstasy I really enjoyed it and will have more thoughts once I give it a second listen through. I yearn to have friends who watch and listen to the exact things I listen to. I want to be able to discuss these things! -- Chappell Roan is my everything and I just can not stop listening to her. I adore what she has to offer to the world of pop.-- I just now realized how much Luke Bryan I listened to in my first country phase. Like DAmn this man had a lot of bangers on the Crash My Party Album.

Lets talk tv bitches

the invincible season final had me gagged. I couldn't speak and that is rare for me. I am a chatter box but I did not have words! wow! from what I have been reading on twitter I should read the comic for all the extra context and action. I am very excited for the next season and hope it comes at least in the next year.

The Real shit

Fuck y'all. I finally got out of the two month long hookup drought. y'all I am baffled by the audacity of men. I am aware its not too surprising but god damnit!!!!!!!! This was supposed to be my redemption arc but I am very discouraged. Over the weekend I had two suitors (both from the dating apps) boy #1 had the stamina of a fucking horse on steroids. that being said there was no foreplay! but I was touch starved that I didn't give a fuck! lmao. so we go FOUR rounds. He gets off every time and I got off slightly once.The whole experience was just not uncomfortable in a non consent way but in a way it was just not my cup of tea. I am down to try everything once and this showed me I don't love or hate my toes being sucked on. wtf! I am a socks during sex type of girly and it kinda through me off guard but it wasn't the craziest part of this experience. This man fully used his jizz as a massage oil on my back and I was so taken a back! he asked me "has anyone ever done that before" my befuddled self just said No?!?! lmao! its so silly I wasn't that grossed out by it I was planning on taking a shower after he left but like what? I'm not gonna yuck someones yum but I didn't know that was a thing???? Okay boy #2 we have been talking on the snapchat for a while and went for drinks awhile back. The talks over snap have gotten spicy a couple times and we were both pretty excited to get together in person. I was excited because this man talked up his game in a very believable and respectable way. It was SO awkward and I know I am a silly person but usually I can keep a conversation going. That was not the case. So at a very random point in conversation he kisses me and It was just not good and that's a terrible start! like whaaaaaat where are your lips! You are just giving me your tongue and do not get me wrong I love a good French kiss but let me feel your lips first! so things start and I end up getting this man off two times in 15 minutes at the most. the entire experience from kissing to his double completion was 25 minutes. Which would be fine if he would of taken the time to get me off like he said he would in these past two weeks of snapchat. He is now distant and I have a feeling its because he knows he didn't provide anything exciting for me. Dating is so damn hard. The thing is I don't even want a boyfriend. I could be a perfect FWB for some very lucky attractive sex god but I can't find him!! I stupidly thought moving to the big apple would provide a better pond but damn its just not going well. That being said I'm gonna keep on trying for the plot because although its bad sex its funny stories. one day I will find a sexy person to have fun casual sex with on a regular basis. that's not too much too ask for! this is getting messy lmao its late I'm wine tipsy. haha goodnight whores xox

[buttermilkrusks]

this is my schedule for week 2 of the semester. this is not okay