#or just for a kofi to exist if people want to tip

[arttsuka]

I wanted to make a ko-fi or something, does anyone knows anything about it? The process, any experience with it etc? I live in Europe, so maybe that changes things..

[hannieehaee]

PINK IN THE NIGHT

18+ / mdi

summary: you were like forbidden fruit for joshua; simply unattainable. no matter how much he wanted you, he knew you were jeonghan's. but what joshua didn't seem to realize was that his best friend was more than happy to share.

content: bf!jeonghan x reader, bf'sbestfriend!joshua x reader, cucking, afab reader, jeonghan's just rlly happy to see his two fave people together (in any and every context), voyeurism, poly dynamics, oral (m and f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 8.5k

a/n: thank u to everyone who showed interest in this fic when i first brought it up i hope u guys enjoy!!

masterlist | kofi/patreon

support me through a one time tip<3

Joshua wasn't sure how much more he would take.

From the moment he had seen his best friend walk into the room with you by his side, he knew he was done for.

Granted, that had been the first time he had ever met Jeonghan's girlfriend, but all it had taken was one simple look for his ability to reason to completely leave him.

He wasn't sure what it had been. Maybe it was the confident grin on your face (one matching with that of Jeonghan's), or maybe the pretty dress you were wearing. Perhaps it was how affectionate you seemed towards Jeonghan (a trait that always drew Joshua to women). Or maybe it was just a bit of everything. He hadn't needed to get to know you, or even hear the sound of your voice before deciding he was infatuated by you. You were just his type.

His belief of you being tailored specifically for his liking was further confirmed upon Jeonghan's introduction of the two of you. Your personality just went with Joshua's perfectly. The two of you even shared a myriad of common interests, with the main one sadly being Jeonghan. Amidst his interest in you, Joshua had to keep it clear in his mind that you were spoken for. You were Jeonghan's, and that was something he just needed to respect.

Despite that having been your first meeting, Joshua had been made aware of your existence months in advance. It had been during a period of time when Joshua was away for individual promotions that you and Jeonghan had first met and eventually started dating. Joshua heard a lot about you through the phone and through text, but had been the last member to actually meet you. From Jeonghan's multiple accounts, you seemed like the perfect match for his unpredictable and slick-tongued friend. Upon meeting you, this description was thoroughly confirmed. Not only did your angelic appearance match that of Jeonghan's, but your peculiar personality was almost the same as his best freind's (and his too). You truly checked all boxes for the perfect partner for Jeonghan, and unfortunately, for Joshua too.

Now, it all could've been perfect had his pesky feelings not gotten in the way. What he had at first assumed to be simple physical infatuation was later confirmed to be actual emotional feelings. The more the got to know you, the more he liked you. And sadly for Joshua, he spent way more time with you than he would've liked.

Jeonghan was truly a family man in every sense of the word. There was nothing he loved and valued more than his family, as they were his drive in life. To him, family meant anyone he held close in his heart; meaning his actual family, you, and his members. Since Joshua had officially taken the role of Jeonghan's best friend many years ago, it was just common sense to assume that Jeonghan would pair the two of you up quite often in order to hang out with two of his favorite people. However, there were times in which it got a bit ridiculous.

For instance, a few weeks back when there had not been enough space in the car driving you to the airport and Jeonghan suggested you sit on Joshua's lap, saying something about how he was too weak to take any amount of weight on his lap for such an extended period of time. Now, that had to be out of the ordinary for a guy to do with his friend and girlfriend, right? Having your best friend hold your girl so close to him – on his lap – while she bounced every so often due to the commotion of the vehicle? That had to be considered at least eighty types of strange. Not only was it torture for Joshua to become overly familiar with the floral scent coming from your pretty hair pressed against his torso (how in the hell did you know what his favorite scent was?), but the feeling of having you snuggly in his arms also didn't help.

Another instance had been one in which the three of you went out while Seventeen was touring in Japan. It had all been fine and dandy until he'd noticed the necklace you were wearing. It was matching with the one Jeonghan had given him a few weeks prior, except he had told Joshua it was meant to be a friendship necklace. Looking over at Jeonghan, he realized there was no necklace on his neck. Had he bought the three of you matching necklaces but forgotten to wear his own? Joshua could've believed this thought, except this had not been the first time Jeonghan had 'forgotten' something like this. Just a few weeks back he had realized your phone case was matching yet another one of Jeonghan's identical gifts to him, all while Jeonghan had his usual phone case. When questioned about it, Jeonghan simply shrugged and claimed he forgot, insisting in getting a picture of you and Joshua with your matching items while you coo'd at the cute 'coincidence'.

However, these simple mismatches were not the worst of it, no. The worst of it had come in the form of his very affectionate friend translating his own affections towards you and Joshua. Instead of him being the one sharing his affections, he would often decide that he wanted the two of you to be touchy with one another. Joshua wasn't sure how he fell for it every single time. His friend would be cuddling you on the couch while Joshua unsuspectedly watched a movie with the two of you, only to find himself pressed up against you two by the end of the night. Jeonghan was a sneaky and calculated man. If he wanted you and Joshua cuddling, then he would get it without even having to ask. In other instances, he would somehow manage to get the three of you holding hands as you strutted about on the streets of whichever city you were located in at the moment (Did he mention that Jeonghan also liked to take you on tour with them?), with you always being in the middle of the two.

What Joshua didn't understand was why exactly Jeonghan was so willing to share you with him. Granted, none of your interactions were impure by any means, but they were always just a little too much. Joshua had only known you for a few months, and although he was your friend, he found himself being way more physically affectionate with you than he was with any other friends of his (sans his members, of course). Except it all felt natural to him. Jeonghan had somehow managed to condition both you and Joshua to feel extreme comfort around each other; enough to never question Jeonghan's antics when it involved the two of you.

You certainly never seemed to mind Joshua constantly third wheeling you and your boyfriend. At times, Joshua even felt like you were the one who wanted him around. You'd constantly throw him flirty smiles (or at least that's what he liked to believe), you'd never hesitate to engage in whatever antics Jeonghan pulled you into (whether it was a matching hoodie that Jeonghan seemingly forgot to wear yet again or hand holding across the streets of Japan), you'd excitedly text the groupchat Jeonghan had made.

All signs pointed towards you being completely content with the situation. This was yet another part of your dynamic with his best friend that made his brain beat at itself looking for answers. Did the two of you know about his feelings? Was this just an overly dragged-out ruse fabricated by Jeonghan in order to prank him? He knew his friend to be a bit of a weirdo when it came to his shenanigans (it was part of his charm, truly), but he also knew he'd never outwardly try and humiliate Joshua like that, so it was very unlikely that this whole thing had begun with that intention. Maybe his best friend simply adored being with both you and him, making him always pair you up to maximize the time he spent with the two of you. That's what Joshua decided to go with, at least. His only issue was that he was unsure of how long he could keep his feelings for you at bay, specially with the constant proximity between you and him.

This was yet another excursion Seventeen would be taking to Japan in the form of a short tour of the country. It was also yet another instance in which Jeonghan had chosen to take you with them. Your job never had a tendency of getting in the way, so Jeonghan always took the liberty of inviting you to tag along, something neither his members nor the staff ever seemed to have a problem with. After all, you were like a little extension of Jeonghan by then; you were attached to the hip.

Although nowadays it was rare for members to share rooms, it had been decided a while back that diving the rooms into groups of two would optimize their safety; something about being more inconspicuous when checking in at the hotel by reserving less rooms. This meant that Joshua would be yet again paired up with Jeonghan, and by extension you. Joshua didn't mind this arrangement thus far. It had only occurred on two other instances by then, and both had been relatively chill sans the one time he walked in on the two of you making out (You pulled away upon noticing him, sheepishly chuckling an apology). That instance had made Joshua become addicted to the sound of your soft breath as your lips smacked against those of his best friend. He felt perverted for having this thought, but he couldn't help but relive the memory of your pliant form against Jeonghan's as he gave you the simple pleasure of a kiss.

Other than that, any and every stay in the same room had been completely calm. Surprisingly enough, the two of you never got up to any suspicious deeds while he was around. The three of you actually rarely stayed indoors while out of the country, opting instead for going out together. That had been the case for this occasion also, except that things had gone slightly differently this time.

Despite the vast size of the room, Joshua could still hear and see everything you and Jeonghan may have been up to. The darkness of the room was not enough to shield his eyes (and specially not his ears) from the familiar sound of your lips sucking and macking against each other. He could hear the soft breaths in between your kisses, and could also take in the quiet moans you released while kissing his friend.

It was the middle of the night when Joshua had woken up from his slumber due to the ruffling of sheets next to his bed. And now he found himself quietly listening in on the fondling you and Jeonghan were currently engaged in, completely unaware that he was awake.

"H- hannie ... No .. What if he hears?", you'd breathed out, words being periodically interrupted by yet another kiss from Jeonghan.

"Shh .. He won't. He wouldn't mind anyway. Who would? You sound so pretty, angel ..."

The kissing got heavier after that. He could hear the sheets shuffle even more, with your shadowy figures allowing him to figure out that your current position was that of Jeonghan fully hovering above you as he dragged his hips against yours. Joshua wasn't sure if it was just dry humping or actual penetration, but your pretty whines had him growing hard either way.

"Hannie ... Fuck ... Please."

"Gonna beg for me now? Gonna beg for me while my best friend is right here? Oh, angel, you're so filthy ..."

"J- just don't stop. Wanna cum, please ..." your breathy voice had Joshua growing even more lightheaded.

"Already? Angel's been wanting me all day, huh? Or is it him? Did you want him around? Does it turn you on that he could wake up any moment and see what a desperate little bunny you are?"

Oh, fuck.

Joshua wasn't sure how to feel about the fact that Jeonghan's dirty talk was getting to him, but the contents of his words had him spiraling. Had you mentioned Joshua to him before? Is that why he brought him up? There was no way this was the first time he had come up in conversation. Specially considering your response to the question.

"Y- yes! Want him to see .. Hannie! Fuck ..."

Your whines had still been simple quiet murmurs in order to maintain the peace and quiet of the room, but Joshua had still been able to hear your answer loud and clear.

You wanted him to know. You wanted him to see you falling apart. Maybe just as badly as he wanted to watch you.

"Oh, bunny ... What a filthy girl you are. Then cum for me, yeah? Show me how desperate you are for Joshuji to see you fall apart."

Both you and Jeonghan seemed to find your release after that, with Jeonghan burying his face in your neck as he muffled his groans of pleasure, and you doing the same. But Joshua had heard it all anyway. He had heard every single whimper and cry of pleasure from both parties involved, and now his dick was aching for release. It had taken him herculean effort to not hump against the bed at every movement he caught from his corner of the room. Now he was stuck continuing to pretend he was asleep as he heard the two of you still softly kiss each other as you shared sweet words before slumber took over you.

Somehow Joshua managed to fall asleep despite the uncomfortable boner you'd both provoked. The next morning had been a bit awkward, however. Upon waking up and walking over to the built-in kitchen in the hotel room, he found you leaning against the counter as you drank some coffee. You were wearing something that was clearly meant to make Joshua's pre-existing problem even worse – a tiny tank top paired by tiny shorts, with your nipples poking right through it. Wearing such skimpy clothing around Joshua didn't seem to bother you, seeing as you had no reaction to him seeing you like that.

Just like last night, this was sort of a first. You usually had the tendency of covering up more whenever Joshua was around. It was either out of shyness or to keep the goods for your boyfriend's eyes only. Today, though, you were quite nonchalant about it. Jeonghan too, as he simply smirked at his friend the moment he walked in, landing a quick peck to your lips before offering Joshua a coffee of his own.

The air had been weird that morning, almost as if the two of you had been teasing him. But Joshua was 100% certain the two of you would not have continued your antics if you'd actually believed he had been awake. I mean, the two of you wouldn't even kiss much while he was around. It just didn't add up.

"So, Shua, any plans for today?," it was Jeonghan who interrupted his thoughts, now with his arms wrapped around you as he stood behind you, face buried in your neck as if Joshua wasn't even there.

"Are we off today?"

"Yeah. We have the next three days off due to the weather. Probably gonna have to stay indoors as much as we can too."

"Oh, uh. I'll go see the sights, maybe. Give you guys some time to yourselves."

That got your attention.

"What? No! You can always hang with us, Joshua, you know that."

As much as the sweet words touched him, he needed to not look you in the eye too much for a bit. He needed to clear his head from the pretty sounds that had left your mouth last night; sounds that were now on replay in his head.

"It's fine. Told Seokmin and Mingyu I'd go to this one cafe they'd been meaning to check out. I'll see you guys later today though?"

He'd finished his coffee by now, opting to wash his cup before he headed over to the bathroom to get ready.

"Boooo! Fine. You can go, Joshuji. We'll find fun on our own. Right, bunny?", the smirk seemed glued to his face, just like his body seemed glued to you. Joshua knew Hannie to be affectionate, but he never really rubbed it in his face like this. Yeah, he really needed the day off from being with the happy couple.

He ignored Jeonghan in favor of going to get ready for his day. Within less than an hour he was bidding his goodbyes to the two of you, texting Seokmin that he was on his way to their shared room. Along with Mingyu and Wonwoo, the three headed out for the day, allowing Joshua a short-lived distraction from your alluring presence.

He came back to the hotel later than expected. Most of his day had been spent outdoors despite of the unfavorable weather. The atmosphere was nice regardless, so he just let the day drag on as he spent time with his friends.

It wasn't until around 9pm that he headed back to the hotel with his friends. They went their separate ways upon arriving, with each going to their respective rooms. Joshua arrived to his shared hotel room, not paying much mind to anything as he walked in. Except the sight in front of him stopped him on his tracks immediately.

Neither of you had spotted him when he first walked in. Your minds were clearly taken up by your current activity. You were facing away from the door, with your head facing down as Jeonghan's dick invaded your mouth. Jeonghan was sitting on the couch which was facing the direction of the door Joshua had just walked through, except his eyes were closed and his head thrown back. His hands were buried in your hair as he lightly pushed your face further against his crotch. The sounds of your gagging and gargling were overly filthy, making Joshua gulp at both the sound and the sight. Jeonghan's angelic moans of your name surprisingly didn't help Joshua's situation either. He found himself turned on by the sight of both you and his best friend.

It didn't take long for Jeonghan to spot Joshua as he stood frozen by the entrance. The moment Jeonghan opened his eyes, Joshua knew he was absolutely fucked. Except his friend didn't seem surprised to find him standing there, but more so pleased to see him. He threw him a smirk and began to play up his antics without once stopping your movements to inform you of Joshua's arrival.

"Oh, bunny ... Such a pretty thing, shit ... Taking my cock like the angel you are."

He began to grind against your mouth, almost full on fucking it. Joshua could hear your muffled moans against his dick from where he stood. Despite Jeonghan's sultry gaze on him, he couldn't look away, although his eyes were mostly glued to your form.

"Angel ... Gonna make me cum. Fuck, you take my cock so well, angel. Gonna swallow for me? Hmm? Gonna be good?"

You disconnected yourself from him, now licking and kissing at his tip as Jeonghan's eyes rolled back, head falling against the couch as his eyes finally left Joshua's.

"Please, Hannie ... Want your cum. Fuck my mouth? Need it so bad."

Oh, you filthy thing. Joshua had to hold back in groaning at your words. What he wouldn't give to be in Jeonghan's spot right now. He would've had to make you cum with his mouth at least three times before letting you get on your knees for him. He knew that the moment you even gave him the green light he'd be cumming in his pants. It had been months of wanting you, and the past few days in which you'd been hanging around in skimpy clothing while being overly affectionate with his best friend had gotten him extremely pent up (re: it had only been two days, but that was more than enough for Joshua). You just had this special effect on him.

As much as Joshua didn't want to admit it, the fact that you were taken by Jeonghan of all people made him want you even more. There was just something so hot about the concept of sharing you with his best friend. This thought might've explained why Joshua was almost salivating at the sight of you worshiping his best friend's cock in front of him.

"F- fuck, angel! That's it ... Take it all ... Swallow like the obedient little bunny you are ..."

It hadn't taken Jeonghan too long after that to become limp against the couch, almost forgetting about Joshua's presence. You were still seemingly clueless about him having seen the whole show.

Jeonghan made you sit on his lap after that, running his hands up and down your back and ass as your thong-covered ass faced Joshua at the perfect angle to admire the entirety of your almost fully-nude back. He squeezed and caressed at every part Joshua could only ever dream of touching.

"Let me take you to sleep, huh, baby? Need to keep your energy so I can fuck you all day tomorrow too, yeah?"

You nodded and kissed him, seemingly getting lost in the kiss immediately after, moaning and sighing against his lips as he continued to feel you up. Somehow Jeonghan managed to lead you to bed right after that, never allowing you to spot Joshua as he cleared the area for his friend to finally walk in without you realizing he had been there the whole time. Jeonghan gave Joshua a wink before Joshua finally managed to sneak into the restroom to take care of his newfound problem.

As Joshua hurriedly finished himself off as quietly as he could, knowing you were likely asleep already, he knew he was thoroughly and completely fucked.

The following morning, you were gone before he had woken up. It was just him and Jeonghan in the room now.

Joshua tentatively walked up to the island located in the small kitchen of the hotel room. Jeonghan was already leaning against it, absentmindedly eating some cereal as Joshua avoided his gaze. Upon sitting across from his view, however, Joshua felt the need to bring up what had happened last night.

"Han, listen. I'm so so-"

"Did you like it?"

He'd asked it so casually as he continued chomping on his cereal, usual look of amusement on his face.

"Did I ... like it?"

"Yeah. Did you like watching my girlfriend suck me off?"

"It was an accident, I had no idea you guys would be doing that when I walked in. You had all day for that. Why would you do it when you knew I'd be coming back? You-"

"Oh? Did I force you to stand there and watch, Joshuji? Did I hold you hostage as you salivated over my girlfriend as she gagged on my dick?", Jeonghan let out an incredulous chuckle, "Did I make you watch that other night while you pretended to sleep as I fucked her?"

Oh. He ... He knew about that?

"Han, listen, I-"

"So did you like it or not? Do you like watching my girlfriend?"

He might as well come out with it. He was well acquainted with his friend's stubborn nature. There was no reason to go in circles about it, specially now that he knew that Jeonghan had been aware of him being awake while the two of you had sex the other night.

"Yes. I .. I liked it."

"Huh. Didn't think you'd admit it that easily."

"There's more," he began before being interrupted by Jeonghan yet again.

"I know. You like her. Don't you?"

He was quite nonchalant as he said it. It unnerved Joshua like crazy. He knew his best friend to be pretty odd, but there was just no way he could be so calm about finding out his best friend was crushing on his girlfriend, was there? It wasn't like you were just some disposable fling either; Joshua knew how much Jeonghan loved you.

"How– Jeonghan, man, I'm sorry. I don't know how it happened. I never meant for it to escalate to this. I thought it was just some schoolgirl crush that I'd get over in a few weeks, but the weeks became months and ... yeah. I'm sorry. I'd never actually act up on it, you know that. You're my best friend and I like to think she's my friend too. I .. I don't know what to say. I'm sorry. Again."

Through the entirety of Joshua's speech, his best friend kept his disinterested stare as he continued to eat at his cereal. It hadn't sounded like the crush was news to Jeonghan either. It seemed like he had just been waiting for Joshua to finally fess up.

"Joshua, stop", he put his cereal down before coming closer to him, "I'm not mad. And neither is she."

"She knows?!"

He chuckled at this, "I mean, you're not exactly discreet. It was kinda funny actually. You're usually pretty smooth. Except with her, of course."

"What the hell is happening right now?"

"Okay, sit. I'll explain."

Jeonghan gestured for a very exasperated Joshua to take a seat on the chair right across from him, putting the cereal aside to give him his entire attention. He was also still wondering where you had gone this morning. Jeonghan seemed to read his mind as he absentmindedly looked back towards the bed you'd been lying on just last night.

"She went out with Boo. You don't have to worry about her coming back right now," he interjected, "Anyways. Yes. I know. Well, we know you like Y/N. We also, uh, knew you were awake that day ... That's kinda why we did it ...," for once Jeonghan showed an ounce of sheepishness at his own words.

So you'd done it on purpose? Joshua's mind was spinning by now. He was beyond embarrassed but also extremely intrigued by what was being revealed to him.

"You .. Why?"

"Joshua, listen. I've known about your crush on my girlfriend since you first met her. If it were anyone else, I'd probably hate it, but for some reason since it's you, I ... I don't seem to mind it. I don't know why that is."

"You're okay with it?"

"Let's say yeah. Let's say I don't mind. Let's say ... let's say I like it."

"You what?"

"It shouldn't come as a surprise to you. Do you think I'd let anyone else see my girlfriend walk around almost naked and say nothing? Or that I'd make it so you two touch each other all the time – even if it's purely innocent?"

Holy fuck.

"Wait. You've been doing all this on purpose? I thought you were just teasing me. Did you .. Do you want me to have her ?"

He knew it was a stupid way to pose the question, but all signs indicated towards Jeonghan wanting to push you straight into his arms. What other reason could there be for Jeonghan's actions; actions he had just claimed had been purposeful and out of his own liking. Joshua always knew Jeonghan to share and gift things to his younger brothers, but you had not been a gift he was expecting.

Jeonghan let out an incredulous chuckle yet again, confusing Joshua even further.

"I'd never just give away my angel. What I'm saying is ... I can let you play with her, but under my rules."

"P– play? Play how?"

"You're a smart guy, Joshuji, get imaginative."

"Does she .."

"Yeah. She's interested, trust me," there was amusement in his eyes, almost as if thinking back to some previous conversation he'd had with you.

As much as Joshua craved you, there was no way he could just ... have you like that. You were his best friend's girl, and you were also his friend.

"Han, I could never have ... sex with your girlfriend. You're my best friend, I ..."

"C'mon, Joshuji. Don't you wanna scratch that itch? She's been waiting for you, you know. Ever since I told her you liked her. She's been wanting you to break. And so have I. There's no harm."

"What's in it for you?", he couldn't believe he was about to agree with this proposition.

"I ... I get to watch my pretty angel be taken care of. I get to know that despite all this she's all mine and she'll do anything I want for me, always", Jeonghan's eyes began to darken at the thoughts seemingly running through his mind, his breath getting heavier just at the thought, "I get to have her every night afterwards, knowing she'd be plaguing yours."

Joshua was embarrassed, but he understood. If he had you, he'd also wanna hold you as temptation.

"So what do you say?", he finally awoke from his short-lived trance.

Joshua couldn't believe himself right now, but the lust he'd been feeling for you for months took over and he found himself agreeing.

"Yes."

Apparently Jeonghan had already made arrangements with you for later that night. He had been so confident he could convince Joshua to agree that he had already given you the green light, and well, he had been right. It had not taken Joshua too many mental gymnastics to know he wanted to have you somehow. He wasn't sure what this would mean for your future friendship, but that was something he'd worry about later.

For now, he was losing his mind.

A few hours after his conversation with Jeonghan, he had been asked by the man himself to wait inside the restroom in order to 'give you some time to prepare.' He was yet to see you at all today, which made him even more anxious. He could hear the two of you talking and giggling through the door, though he couldn't quite make out what you were saying.

Suddenly the door was opened, with a Yoon Jeonghan grinning mischievously at Joshua, gesturing for him to come out. Upon re-entering the bedroom area of the hotel room, he saw you on the bed.

You looked utterly angelic, sitting on your knees above the bed, very light makeup on and soft white lingerie. Had anyone asked him, he would've thought you were an angel. You looked far too beautiful for any man to resist.

His eyes stayed glued to your soft gaze as Jeonghan guided him to get on the bed with you. What he wasn't really expecting (although thinking back, he should've), was for Jeonghan to get on the bed too. You were all now facing each other on the bed, no words spoken as you stared at one another. Both him and Jeonghan matched your almost undressed state, donning only a pair of boxers and a thin tank top each.

"Joshuji ... Doesn't she look beautiful? Hmm? Got all pretty for you."

Oh. Had you dressed up for him? He should've known. You looked like you'd come straight out of one of his dreams. He always loved when you wore light and soft colors. You always looked so pretty and innocent like that.

"Y– yeah ... She looks so– "

"Say it to her, Joshuji," Jeonghan's hand had reached out to lightly caress your skin, running a finger up and down your thigh.

"You look like a dream", said Joshua while staring directly into your eyes.

You gave him a soft smile, daring hand reaching out to touch his knee as his breath caught in his throat.

"Thank you, Joshie ... Hope I didn't scare you with all this. Hannie told me he caught you off guard this morning," Jeonghan chuckled at this.

"N– no, it's okay. I ... I've wanted you too .. It's mutual, I promise."

You suddenly reached out to caress his cheek, catching him off guard for a moment before he allowed himself to lean into your touch, "Yeah? I know, Joshie ... You like me too, huh? Hannie told me. It was so cute seeing you scramble every time. But it's okay now, right? Now we can all play .."

The eyes you gave him as you said it had him gulping. His usually confident demeanor always disappeared with you around, specially now. It also didn't help that he could see his friend's smirk on his peripheral.

"Wanna play, Joshuji? How do you want her first?"

"Oh, I ...", he had no idea where to start. He felt too surveilled to do anything. There was just too much pressure.

"How about I show you how to treat my angel, hmm? Then you get to have your fun," Hannie interrupted Joshua's thinking.

Jeonghan used his hand to turn your head towards him, leaning in slowly before speaking up again, "This is how she likes to be kissed. Take notes, Joshuji."

He then began kissing you softly, going peck after peck before deepening the kiss. He began to lick at you until you opened your lips for him, sighing when your tongues made contact. In the meantime his hands went up to softly pinch at your nipples through your thin bra, which had you mewling against Jeonghan's lips. The two of you continued to kiss like this for a few minutes, with the kiss eventually evolving into a lewd mess of spit and tongues that would have anyone turning their gaze away. But not Joshua. Joshua intently watched the two of you kiss, waiting for what he hoped would be his turn.

It seemed Jeonghan had read his mind once again, as he pulled away with one last sweet peck to your puckered lips. The two of you gave each other a soft smile before finally turning to Joshua again.

"Did you get that, Joshuji? Wanna try kissing her now?", there was a rare smile on Jeonghan's face as he said this. A mixture of softness and cockiness.

"Oh, I .. I can? I mean, can I?"

"Of course, dummy. That's what you're here for. Go ahead, kiss my angel. Make sure to kiss her right," he gestured to you, making space for the two of you to connect right in front of him.

The two of you were shy about it at first, giving each other timid smiles before Joshua finally closed the gap and kissed you. He let out a breath of relief against your lips before really getting to it. Unlike Jeonghan, whose movements matched yours perfectly (due to being completely in tune with you by now), Joshua was a bit more desperate in the way he kissed you. He whined against your lips as he licked and sucked at both your tongue and lips. You didn't seem to mind, matching his pace as he loved on your lips.

"You're so ... Fuck, you're so pretty," he whispered against your lips.

His hands eventually went up to softly run his thumbs over your nipples, more slowly than Jeonghan had. He immediately drank in any moans or whimpers you let out at his actions. With half a mind to begin hovering over you, giving you all of him, he hesitantly pulled away. Joshua was certain that if he kissed you more without actually getting to fuck you, he would embarrassingly cum in his pants in front of both you and his best friend.

"Liked it, Joshuji? My bunny's just so pretty, isn't she? Addictive. Can't blame you for having wanted her for this long."

There was still mockery in his voice, but Joshua didn't mind as long as it meant this could keep going.

"What else ... what else can I do?", he dared himself to ask.

"Oh? getting a little brave there, Joshuji. I'm gonna have her first. Then you get to have your fun."

Joshua felt slightly strange at the concept of watching the two of you have sex, but he was also coming to find out that he found it incredibly hot to see the two of you touch each other. The sight of you sucking Jeonghan's dick the night prior had not left his mind for a single moment.

Jeonghan went to sit behind you, making you recline against him as he made a show of taking off your underwear. He dragged down your panties, bringing them up to his face to inhale the scent, throwing Joshua a satisfied smirk as he then threw them out of reach. After that, he removed your bra, playing with your tits as Joshua watched with a thirsty look on his face.

"Come closer, Joshuji. She loves being touched here. Kiss her tits a bit. She goes crazy over it."

"Hannie!", you complained, face flushing at his comment.

"What? He needs to know your weak spots, baby. Want him to make you feel good, bunny."

Joshua ignored your banter as he scoot closer to you, lowering his head to your tits as he kissed and licked at them. Your hands came out pretty quickly to hold his head against your tits, whining at the way he devoured them like a starved man. In the meantime, Hannie decided to take it upon himself to finger you, causing your cries of pleasure to fill up the room. At some point Joshua removed his tank top and began to kiss your lips once more, inciting your hands to begin feeling up his chest.

Behind you, the devil whispered in your ear, "You like him, bunny? Like how big and strong he is for you? Gonna take such good care of you, aren't you Joshuji?"

"Y- yes. Gonna give her everything she wants," it was easy for Joshua to fall into a trance while kissing you, specially the moment your hands went south, now softly playing with his dick under his boxers.

He moaned at your touch, sighing against your lips as the kiss became too filthy in nature. In the meantime, Jeonghan made sure to kiss at the weak spots of your neck, hands still playing with your pussy. Joshua drank in every moan that his friend pulled out of you, giving you back moans of his own as you played with his cock. The kiss broke soon after, with Joshua throwing his head back and closing his eyes at the pleasure.

Eventually he felt some movement on the bed, causing him to open his eyes. Upon opening them, he had noticed the two of you changing positions, somehow without your hand ever disconnecting from his aching dick. You were now on your hands and knees above the bed, with Jeonghan kneeling behind you. Hannie made a show of kissing at your cheeks as he stared down at Joshua. Immediately after, he entered you, groaning at what Joshua knew must've been the greatest feeling allowed on Earth.

"Oh, Joshuji ... You have no idea how good my angel feels ... My pretty angel ... Prettiest thing I've ever had, shit."

Jeonghan's words about you were almost enough to make him cum. That, and the way your hands tightened around him at the feeling of your boyfriend entering you. The moment Hannie began to cant his hips against yours, you threw Joshua a lustful look, questioning if it was okay to take his dick into your mouth.

"Please ... You can do anything ... You don't have to ask, just– fuck!"

You did not need much confirmation, taking him into your mouth the moment he showed any type of affirmation and getting straight to work. Joshua commended Jeonghan in his brain, knowing he must've trained your pretty lips to take him so well that Joshua almost felt like passing out at the way you expertly worked him with your mouth.

You were an absolute dream, and Joshua was unsure of how in hell you were even real and in bed with him right now.

His and Jeonghan's moans filled the room, though for different reasons. Joshua was overcome by the pleasure of your mouth while Jeonghan groaned at the feeling of you wrapped around him. Simultaneously, you whined against Joshua's dick at the way Hannie pushed his hips towards yours. The increase of your moans let Joshua know that you were likely almost at your end. Opening his eyes once more to look at Jeonghan, he noticed that his hand had dipped, likely now playing with your clit as he fucked you. He could tell the two of you were about to cum, and to be frank, so was he. The context of the situation alone had him delirious with pleasure. Something about you sucking his dick while his best friend fucked you was just so hot and intimate to Joshua. His best friend and the girl he'd been lusting after for months ... He'd have to unpack all this at some point, but for now, he let his orgasm take over his thoughts.

The three of you came at very similar times, allowing you all to catch your breaths before continuing onto whatever else Jeonghan had in mind. He seemed to be in charge anyways.

Jeonghan immediately moved as close to you as possible, sitting behind you while you sat opposite of Joshua. His hands played absentmindedly with you once more while his eyes were set on his friend, a smirk glued to his face.

"D'dya like it, Joshuji? Like how my pretty angel felt? She was so good for you, wasn't she? My beautiful bunny ... Just wait til you feel her cunt ... Her gorgeous, perfect cunt", as he complimented you, his eyes grew heavy, leaving Joshua's to instead focus on you. His hands grew frantic as he felt you up while ignoring Joshua's presence.

Jeonghan grew too lustful for you. It seemed like this was a regular occurrence – Jeonghan losing his train of thought due to your close proximity; unable to concentrate when your body drew him in so easily. Joshua understood completely. His eyes were equally as heavy as he stared at his friend make out with you once more. He also wanted the privilege of doing whatever he wanted to you at any given time; a privilege held by Jeonghan only.

Finally, Jeonghan's reasoning came back and he gave you one last peck before turning to Joshua again, "Sorry. Can't help myself around my angel."

"Hannie, we shouldn't ignore Joshie. He's been so good too," your soft voice cut in.

"Yeah? He was good for you, angel? Like how he kissed you? How his cock felt in your mouth. Why don't you thank him? Show him what a good boy he's been for you," it was as if a permanent grin was glued to his face, careless to how shy you seemed to get at his depraved questions.

Regardless, you moved closer to Joshua, sheepishly asking for permission to lean against his lap. He, like any reasonable man, gave you enthusiastic consent, choosing to pull you all the way on his lap and trapping you in a heated kiss. There was no way for him to help himself, he'd just grown far too desperate for you. The constant promise of your cunt had him going crazy by now.

"Oh? Joshuji taking control, huh? C'mon, you can do better than that. Feel her up. Give her everything you have ... Fuck her."

Both you and Joshua froze at that last statement, disconnecting your lips as you turned back to look at him.

"Hannie .. ? Are you sure? I–"

He scoot closer to you, giving you a peck despite you being twisted at an awkward angle and still on Joshua's lap, arms wrapped around him.

"Of course, angel. Want you two to feel good. You're all mine anyways, aren't you?" he gave you a more heated kiss this time, not caring for Joshua's close proximity.

"Yes, Hannie. All yours ..." you breathed against his lips as he pulled away.

Joshua didn't say anything throughout the exchange. His eyes were simply frozen at a widened state and his mind blank. He had assumed that Jeonghan had been playing it up by bringing up the tempting subject that was your cunt to him as he fucked you, likely just teasing something that Joshua would never been able to have. Joshua had been wrong. He was building up for the final act; the moment in which Joshua would get to fuck you while he watched.

Not too much time after and Joshua was lying down on the bed with you on top of him, both of you fully naked. Jeonghan was sitting nearby with the perfect view of your body. He had offhandedly mentioned that he wanted to see you. That he was fine with Joshua being the giver of your pleasure, but that his desire ultimately fell on seeing you in the throes of passion. Joshua was fine with this. Although the concept of being watched enticed him, his main focus was on the immense pleasure he was intending to give you as soon as you gave him the green light. Which you did while he was trapped in his thoughts, completely catching him off guard.

At first he was ashamed at the loud moan he let out at you sinking down on him, but the thought immediately left him upon his brain processing the tightness of your cunt. For a fleeting second he imagined what it would've been like to fuck you raw in the same way that Jeonghan had done just moments prior, but Jeonghan had been adamant on him wearing a condom, claiming that his dick was the only one with the privilege of being suffocated by your cunt unfiltered. The logic made sense, but Joshua's envy wasn't soothed by logic.

Putting these thoughts aside, his mind went straight back to your cunt. Your beautiful moans and the contortions of your face while in pleasure were high contenders in his list of priorities right now. You were a literal angel above him. The bounce of your breasts and the way your hands guided his own to play with them had him whining at you.

"You're so beautiful ... Feel so fucking good, fuck. Hannie was right, you're an angel ..."

He heard a chuckle (which he ignored) coming from his side.

"Thank you, Joshie– fuck! You're so pretty. So good for me, too. It's nice to have such a good boy for a change."

He chuckled at this, knowing you were probably way too used to Jeonghan's antics. His usual gentleman act was likely a breath of fresh air, and he wanted to perform the part perfectly for you.

However, his body made the choice for him. Despite growing extremely aroused at your bouncing atop him, his body ached for more. Which was why he flipped you over and began pistoning into you like a beast. If your cries and the way you scratched at his chest were anything to go by, he was pretty confident you were enjoying it just as much as he was.

"Gonna make you cum, beautiful. Need you to cum, yeah? I'll be a good boy for you, just ... just cum for me and I'll give you everything," his hand came down to rub at your clit, making you squeeze around him with a mewl.

"Joshie! I'm gonna– Fuck! I'm almost there!"

Along with your moans, the slapping of skin could be heard to his side, with angelic moans accompanying the sound. Looking to the side, Joshua caught sight of his best friend's thrown back head as his hands frantically played with his cock, clearly getting off at the sight of you nearly at your orgasm.

Joshua buried his face in the crook of your neck as he tried to hold back his orgasm until yours arrived. That's when Jeonghan finally interjected.

"Bunny ... Need you to cum for Joshuji, yeah? Be my good bunny and give him your cum, angel."

It seemed like Hannie's orgasm had arrived while Joshua was distracted, as his voice only sounded slightly out of breath and he could no longer hear the slapping of his dick.

"Yes, Hannie .. Gonna– ah! C– cumming! Shit!"

Your orgasm immediately triggered his. Joshua had been holding back, waiting until he could finally fill up the condom Jeonghan had made him slip into. The simple thought of cumming inside you had Joshua's orgasm becoming even more intense despite it being a mere thought. Your moans of his name also didn't help matters, making him continue to grind into you even past your highs. The sensitivity was the only thing that got him to stop, falling limp beside you on the bed.

The three of you laid there breathless for a few beats, rendered too exhausted to do anything.

Jeonghan was the most lucid at the moment, with his orgasm not having been as intense as yours or Joshua's. He grabbed a few wipes from the bedside table and cleaned you up a bit, throwing some clean ones at his friend so he could do the same to himself. But Joshua was too spent to process anything at the moment. It took him a good five minutes to fully catch his breath and sit up to face the happy couple he was currently sharing a bed with.

"So," began Jeonghan, smirk still glued to his face as he cuddled against you, "how was it?"

There really was no way for Joshua to answer that question. His eyes were still glued to your form as you cuddled against his friend. On estimate, Joshua would need about three business days to process what had just happened; the way you were so perfect for him. Inside him he just prayed that this would not be the only time he had you. He'd be okay with not being your boyfriend and simply staying friends. All he wanted was to know that this would happen again and again.

"Joshie?", it was you who interrupted the spiraling of his thoughts, concern laced in your tone, "Are you okay? Did I do something tha– "

"No! Of course not," he immediately went to stretch his arm so you could hold hands, "I ... It was perfect. You were perfect. It's just ..."

"You want her again," now was Jeonghan's turn, sounding very confident in his statement, "You want to know if this will ever happen again. Am I right?"

All he could do was sheepishly nod. He wasn't sure why he felt ashamed at it. The only thing he was certain about was that he wanted this again. All of it. Watching you and Jeonghan together and then being watched by your boyfriend himself. Every detail of it had him burning at the mere thought.

"Don't worry, Joshuji. We like you too much to let you go. Right, angel?"

You nodded enthusiastically, pretty grin on your face, "Yes, Joshie. Of course you're invited again," you patted the empty side of the bed for him to join you and Jeonghan in cuddling under the covers.

He was hesitant in accepting it, but he still found himself cuddling up against you, enjoying the warmth of your hold as Jeonghan cuddled up on the other side of you.

This was all slightly unconventional, but he could get used to it. After all, you were his two favorite people.

To read short 2.4k word continuation u can go join my monthly tier on kofi or patreon!

content: dry humping, cum eating, oral (f receiving), etc.

wc: 434 (teaser); 2402 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

It had only been a few days since that day.

You know, the day in which Jeonghan had allowed Joshua to defile you to his liking. The day Joshua discovered a kink he had apparently kept hidden away. The day you had laid under him so prettily as he rammed into you with everything he had. Yeah, that day.

Joshua was sure he was going insane. Neither you nor Jeonghan had made much mention of the events of that day other than a suggestion of doing it again sometime. That vague proposition just wasn't enough for Joshua. Not when all he could see when he closed his eyes was you (and occasionally the image of Jeonghan fucking you from behind, but the implications of that thought were something Joshua didn't want to explore just yet).

Were you completely unaffected? The two of you were still acting as per usual, being your menacing selves as you remained touchy and attentive to him, but not in a way that could be defined as anything more than platonic (flirty, if you so wished).

Okay, granted, it had only been two days since that night, but had it been up to Joshua, he would've already had you three more times since then. He needed to know where your minds were at, and at this point that meant he'd have to take the reigns, so he decided to design a plan to see if he could land the two of you in bed again as soon as possible.

It was kind of difficult to get you alone. You and Jeonghan were always attached to the hip, which was usually a cute sight to behold, but simply bothersome to Joshua under his current circumstances. It's not like he wanted to take you from Jeonghan. He just knew that talking to you would be easier than to his friend, who Joshua knew would simply try to play mind games with him or somehow make him even more confused.

Finally, after spending almost an entire day exploring Japan with the two of you (holding your hand most of that time), Jeonghan had headed over to shower, leaving you and Joshua alone in the hotel room.

Joshua wasn't sure how to go about this. How could he even bring up the situation without sounding desperate for pussy (which he very much was)? He wanted to have you, but doing it without Jeonghan's presence felt like betrayal. All he needed right now was some sort of sigh that he wasn't insane and that what had happened the other night hadn't been an isolated circumstance.

...

find the 18+ continuation on kofi or patreon!

support me through a one time tip<3

[captainzigo]

Hi everypony!

My kofi is ko-fi.com/captainzigo if you enjoy my art, consider leaving me a tip! this is otherwise entirely a labor of love so,,,

you can also send a request with your tip! but if you choose to do so, please read the disclaimer later on in this post**

my non-art blog, where i accept asks is @snapewife-divorce-lawyer and my reblog-spam blog is @3amgaypotion also i am on bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/captainzigo.bsky.social

that's a bunch of pictures of my oc(/ponysona) Prickly Pear. she's a cowgirl

Frequent/noteworthy questions below the break

**on donations made to me:

i still dont take commissions currently, but if you send a request with a donation, there's a 99% chance i'll do it. and that remaining 1% i'll probably just ask you for a different request. if you send me a request with a donation you are not sending me a commision. you are making a donation, and i might do you a favor as a result. you do not own the resulting art. and I am under no obligation to complete it or to do it in the way that you like. you do not need to make a donation in order to make a request. i talk more about it here

hello mutuals!

If you are a mutual, DM me for an invite to discord server and subsequently to minecraft server

on sending me asks:

any asks you send me should be like Strongbad emails. one paragraph. no attachments. unless you are sending me refs.

in any interactions, please keep in mind that i am a stranger on the internet and act accordingly.

unless I have explicitly said otherwise, you can safely assume that I do not count you amongst my friends. it is nothing personal, it is in fact the opposite.

why am i like this?

i am autistic. i say this because representation matters, but also because i would like to ask that you please be very frank with me. i don't even really need your patience. just say what you mean and we will get along fine.

can you draw my ocs?

you most certainly can draw any of my ocs. i'd love that acually. tag me

on (re)posting my art:

do not post my art on other platforms. do not repost my art period. I don't really exist on other platforms since i deleted Twitter. So if you see my stuff on other platforms, it's not me. except for my bluesky.

transformative works are obviously allowed, at least here in america where i live. but if you want my blessing, please keep them SFW, and try to keep the spirit of the original artwork

is my blog SFW?

im in my twenties. i keep my blog SFW (as i define it) as a strict rule.

i do not consider the fact that sex exists, that some people enjoy it, or some innuendo to be NSFW. i also do not consider swearing, even as tho a sailor might, to be NSFW.

are NSFW interactions ok?

in short: no. while i have no aversion to to that sort of thing, and often actually enjoy it, i keep this blog SFW. the intention behind my art is to be SFW even when it might be skirting the line. in general, and especially, specifically with mlp, i do not wish to have NSFW interactions on the internet. please respect this boundary.

on shipping:

in my opinion, all romance real or fictional should be between people who are similar in age, doing age appropriate things, not closely related, and all with mutual consent. i am not interested in witnessing or interacting with anything outside of these parameters.

on my blue hair and pronouns:

i am a trans woman. i am also bisexual. i am also poly and demi since im listing things. i am out online becasue i know how important it is to know that you aren't alone.

do i take constructive criticism?

NO 🖕👹🖕 FUCK YOU!!!!!!! GET BLOCKED IDIOT!! unless you are a marginalized person who feels i have unintentionally made you uncomfortable somehow with my art or otherwise. in that case i am sorry and you do me a great favor by calling me out. OTHERWISE FUCK YOU DUMBASS IF YOU DONT LIKE MY ART GO DRAW YOUR OWN 🖕🖕🖕🖕

“i hate bronies”…

i don't necessarily hate you if you self identify with that label. i like to make myself off-putting to keep creeps away. i talk about it more in this post: https://www.tumblr.com/captainzigo/744131513208176640/when-i-say-i-hate-bronies-in-my-header-its

brony?

i don't hold a lot of nostalgia for old brony stuff. infact it's quite the opposite. i was a child when the show came out, and more than that i was a girl. i am not a brony.

do i like g5?

i like all generations of mip including the new stuff. gen 4 is just the one i grew up with

why is my header aurora, bori and alice from the best gift ever?

well that would be because i hate them like a mother hates a child. like the sun hates the moon. like sickly victorian child hates the slightest morsel of bread.

on flurryheart:

i often draw stuff about cozy glow x flurry heart. this is with the understanding that cozy glow spends about a decade turned to stone. nullifying the age gap.

🤓☝️ i think you mean effect, not affect

i am dyslexic. i spell stuff wrong all the time and i type weird. please don't bother correcting me. wooptydoo your brain is wired normally. sending you a medal.

on my username:

i've had the same username since i debuted on the internet. zigo is the name of an oc i made that i dont really talk much about anymore. zigo is a fine enough nickname, and at least one person calls me that irl.

[madbrake]

I get asked about this now and then, so I just wanted to say that you are always welcome to use my existing art for a tattoo free of charge. I just ask that you not use commissioned artwork since that involves other people’s oc’s/personal visions. I do have a Kofi page if you’d like to tip (but you absolutely don’t have to) and I always love pictures of the finished tattoo if you’d like to send one :)

This does NOT extend to making prints or other merch of my work. But I’m always flattered by tattoo requests :)

[sassypotatoe1]

I just realized. If fae were real, it would be so easy in today's time to whisk people away. Not only because most people don't know fae rules and think the stories their grandparents told them were just fantasy, but because food delivery and ride-hailing services exist. Think about it.

Fae wants to offer someone food? Slip fae food into the delivery they're making to the regular customer that always orders the same thing. Offer it to the customer instead of just giving it. Boom. Entrapped by fae for accepting fae food.

Called an Uber? You get in and the driver goes "can I have your name?" and you, unthinking, give it to them because that's just what they do to make sure they're picking up the right person. Now you belong to the fae.

This brings the question. Would a fae's abilities work over digital technology? Could a fae entrap people by gifting them subscribers on twitch, or nitro in discord, or tips on here or Kofi or patreon, or the actual livestream gifts on tiktok? Would thanking someone for a gift on social media entrap you?

How else can the fae use modern life to their advantage?

[efangamez]

Hey you beautiful people!

My name is EfanGamez, a very neurodivergent trans and pan creator who has created 20+ games and have gotten nearly 30,000 downloads on my games!

On this blog, you can find some stuff that I have created, as well as just some fun stuff. I'm not here to preach to people or make sales only; I just want people to enjoy what I make!

You can find my games right here. I promise they're amazing!

If you want separate stores, look below as well!

Itch.io

DriveThruRPG

Kofi

Have a wonderful day! 💜✨💜✨

MY BOUNDARIES BELOW <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

So a little PSA going forward btw! This isn't meant as a call out or anything, but a stating of boundaries with my page and communication, as well as some clear ups!

Please do not ask for advice or tips unsolicited unless through an ask. Again, because I'm a slow texter and have memory loss, I may not be able to get back to you, and I'd much rather you just ask publicly than privately.

I am incredibly mentally ill and autistic, with memory loss and attention disorders, so if we communicate and things are a little wonky, let me know! Sometimes I'm unaware what I'm saying may be a little rude, so please kindly let me know!

I do not consent to be viewed as a "good" person. I have done things that I am not proud of and have hurt people in the past. I have taken steps towards avoiding hurt in the future in drastic ways, but this does not mean I am a "good" person. Please view me as a human being and know that I am flawed and can mess up. Do not hold me up on a pedestal, because one day I'll fall from it and it'll shatter!

Please do not ask me to review game items of yours or someone else's! I currently am trying to simply exist in this world by eating, drinking, and showering, so I may not have time to read your games, even if they're really short. I think that, for me right now, it puts a lot of pressure on me that I just cannot deal with right now.

Please no unsolicited DMs. I have learned the hard way many people on this app who DM me wanting something, trying to strike up conversations, or love bomb you, are trying to get something out of you, and I'm kinda tired of it, frankly. Some people who have DMed me have become cool peeps I can talk to, but some have manipulated me and used me, and when I was of no use, discarded me. Because of this, please ONLY DM me if I have expressed a want to otherwise! (This is for mostly random people I don't know, so if we're already talking, we should be good!)

This kinda goes without saying, but please do not interact with me if you are a minor. This is an 18+ page.

This one may sting for some people, but it's my personal boundary and it has nothing to do with people individually. I do not wish to be called a "friend" of yours unless I myself call you that. It's a term I hold quite dear and hold for a VERY few people. I'm more like an acquaintance to many people or even just one step up from stranger. Again, it does not mean I don't like you, I just hold friendships super close to my heart, and I've been burned calling people friend who truly are not mine.

This one is kinda twofold. I want people to know that if my boundaries are crossed after warning, I will block you. My mental health cannot take constant violations of my boundaries, and thus I have to enforce them. The next is that I will ALWAYS restate a boundary with someone, because I'll never expect anyone to know a boundary without them knowing, so if it happens, I'll let you know, sometimes more than once if I know you well enough.

I will ALWAYS talk about politics or human rights issues, so if you have an issue with that, please do not interact with me. I do not wish to be comrades with those who are "apolitical".

And that's it! I know it's a ton, but like I said, I'll never expect anyone to know automatically what my boundaries are, so if ya mess up, I'll let ya know very kindly!

I'll also have this up on my pinned post so that way people can know exactly my boundaries are!

Have a wonderful day to y'all, and to my fellow disabled and mentally ill baddies out there; you are absolutely loved, and please don't drive yourself to spiral because your feelings are ALWAYS valid (this goes to me too lol).

[erodasfishtacos]

Crackin’ the Code

prompt: Harry and YN tie the knot in a beautiful castle off the coat of Italy. Harry reflects back on his life before his love. YN has past insecurities creep on on her before the wedding. 

note: this is the necklace that YN receives as (one) her wedding gifts from H and she wears it during the ceremony.

word count: 9k

warnings: smut

***<-- click for visuals throughout (super important for this one shot!)

if you enjoy this fic (which i worked REALLY hard on) please reblog, like, comment, and come talk to me!

please please considering donating to my kofi since all my work is FREE to you guys!

---

The world expected an extravagant wedding with week-long festivities, celebrations in destinations only the richest could afford, and all the big names of the business world who ran in his circle.

The media outlets were just waiting, quite impatiently, for the day that the richest man in Europe settled down with a significant other. They would have news stories for decades when it came to the couple.

Of course, Harry Styles was going to marry a household name - the public thought. 

Whether it be an heiress, a model, maybe even an actress? The choices for the most eligible bachelor were limitless.

Any time he was at an event, usually a charity gala or black-tie dinner, paparazzi would take candid pictures of him with any female and then the following day publish an article about how they were a couple.

However, what the world didn’t know was that he’s been in a relationship for a year and a half, has already been engaged after the eight month mark, and moved into pretty soon after but that was hushed.

Nearly no one except a few key employees and family members knew about the couple. Everyone in his office building in the heart of London had to sign NDA’s at the beginning of their job - though almost all of them didn’t know she existed.

Harry did not put any limits on YN for the wedding planning. 

No price, no expectations, nothing. If she wanted ten-thousand people or zero people in attendance that was her call. If she wanted to drop ten million dollars on a wedding or a hundred that was fine too.

The CEO never fantasized about a wedding. 

Well he had but no in the terms most do. He didn’t sit and imagine the venue, the food menu, or the decorations. 

No, he didn’t care about any of that, he daydreamed about the fact that he and someone would commit themselves to each other for the rest of their lives.

Harry wanted to marry his fiance after their first date.

He was usually a very patient man, couldn’t have gotten where he was if he wasn’t. When it came to this, each day he wasn’t married to the love of his life felt like torture.

Since he proposed to her in his briefs in their bedroom, he had imagined her looking immaculate in whatever she chose to wear, exchanging vows of devotion, and then being tied together for life.

He never thought he would get here. He’d never felt a connection with someone like he had with the feisty waitress who bumped into him. Begin to believe that he was broken or lacking emotion because no matter how sweet the girl was he couldn’t see himself with the person.

Don’t get him wrong. 

He took many women out on dates that were downright awful. Asking him about money, suggesting he take them on expensive vacations or buy them a designer item, being too forward and palming his crotch in the middle of dinner.

One of the last dates he went on before he gave up was the one that made him stop looking all together, about six months before he ran in YN.

---

It was an expensive restaurant in the heart of London. It had a waitlist for months but one call and they could magically make an available booth for the billionaire within the hour. 

The girl he was sitting across from was a so-to-speak blind date. 

A set up by one of his business partners who stated that they would be a good match. Harry had rolled his eyes at that but couldn’t come up with an excuse fast enough to say ‘no.’

Her name was Aria, she had a respectable job at a local law firm as an assistant to a very well-known lawyer in the area. 

She was beautiful in the way of looking just like an instagram model with long dark extensions, false eyelashes that made it hard to determine what color her eyes were, and an outfit that made Harry a bit embarrassed to be seen with her - short and low cut at a five-star restaurant.

“Yeah, I just got back from Mallorca with a group of friends,” She tells him, flipping through the photo album on her phone to show him pictures. 

When she ‘accidentally’ swipes (and slowly swipes) again so that Harry definitely gets a glimpse of a nude selfie.

Harry internally groans, couldn’t be less turned on by that, and doesn’t acknowledge it - much to Aria's disappointment. 

She was fishing for a compliment, maybe a request for him to take the phone and look closer at the picture like most men would.

Instead he sits back, takes a sip of his wine, and nods curtly, “It looks like you had a good time.”

She stumbles for a second, confused by his sudden standoffishness, and clicks her phone locked before putting it next to her on the table, “Did I offend you?”

He was already done with the date, with the dating scene, with fucking everything honestly. 

What a goddamn waste of a night.

Harry barks out a cruel laugh, “It takes a lot more to offend me than a picture of y’tits but it’s a bit offensive that y’think so little of yourself that you think that’s how y’going to impress me. Those tits didn’t impress me much, darling.”

Aria’s eyes narrow in blatant disbelief at how much of an asshole he was being. 

Granted, she did feel a bit of embarrassment creeping up in her stomach about thinking showing him that picture was a good idea but still, he didn’t need to react like that.

“It really makes sense why you don’t have a girlfriend, it’s because of what an asshole you are,” The girl sneers with venom as she tucks her phone into her clutch, swigging down the last drops of the expensive wine.

He shrugs like he’s unbothered, a nasty feeling quilling in the pit of his stomach as he keeps an outward expression of nonchalance and ease, it make the raven-haired woman even more furious as he replies cooly, “I’m not being an asshole, honesty hurts sometimes. Maybe if you think the way you attract someone is by nude pictures, you should try Tinder or Bumble.”

“I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have,” Aria tells him before pushing out her chair and leaving before the main course even arrives. 

Harry sits there for a moment, swallowing and pleading with himself to not let the nasty words set in because they felt too real and too personal - she had actually struck some type of chord within and it had his stomach churning.

When he pays the bill, apologizing profusely for leaving dinner before the entree arrives but with an excuse of a company emergency - it’s eerily quiet in his car as he drives home to his massive home with no one in it.

It doesn’t happen often. 

He should call his mum, Gemma, Dorothy even to talk it out but he feels so fucking alone because he can’t get it right. He can’t connect with anyone and it is starting to feel hopeless.

He is angry, so angry at himself, that he can’t shake the feeling of it and he feels like he’s losing control because he never fucking talks about his emotions.

A beautiful set of dishware was sitting out his dining room table, the housekeeper had carefully unwrapped them earlier in the day. 

They were imported from Beijing, decorated with real gold, and handcrafted. It had cost him nearly forty-thousand dollars for a set of fucking plates and bowls.

I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.

It is repeatedly on a loop in his head, glares at the items on the dinner table like they’re mocking him, and he has no wits about himself before he’s taking one of the beautiful bowls and throwing it against the wall as hard as possible.

I hope you have fun living the rest of your life alone. You may have your money but you’re going to end up alone and it will be all you fucking have.

By the time he’s done, his chest is heaving, and his face is red. 

When reality starts to set back in, every single item from the set is destroyed on the floor, the wall’s paint chipped from where he’d hurled them.

He was so fucked up.

-

Harry couldn’t help but relieve the feelings of that nasty flashback. He couldn’t believe that he had been at that point in his life - not when he had the most all-consuming, amazing in every single way woman laying next to him in his bed.

YN had shown Harry that he had never been broken, he had just been waiting. 

She was his soulmate and he had been waiting for her since forever. He truly believed that as he looked at the girl next to him with enough emotion his heart might burst.

She was just...everything.

YN was so fucking funny - the funniest person Harry had ever met. She was loving in a way that made you feel like you belonged. Compassionate in a way that makes you want to be more selfless yourself. Intelligent enough that it was breathtaking and unreal - and that was just the tip of the iceberg.

She was uncaring of who Harry was - in the most perfect way. 

Money wasn’t a personality trait that she defined him with. She loved him for who he was at the bare basics, stripped away from his public life.

She was confident in a way that girls rarely were. 

Bared face and more beautiful than the highest-paid models. 

Her body was her own, embracing every curve and inch of it without any shame. Let herself be authentic in front of Harry which made him feel like he had won a secret lottery.

Right now, she was fast asleep next to him in bed after stuffing herself full of oreos that she was dunking in milk. She ignored Harry’s looks of disgust at the soggy cookies and munched away happily which made him happy in turn.

She still had a dark crumb on the corner of her puffy lips, her mouth parted just the slightest amount, and her face smushed halfway into the pillow. 

The shirt she had on was so oversized she was swimming in it and a pair of soft pink cheeky underwear.

Currently, she was the farthest thing from graceful and Harry loved that so fucking much. 

As they lay mere days away from their wedding, remembering that nasty flashback, he can’t help but remember their first date and how he had known from them that he had finally found a spark, a connection to another human being.

--

Harry cannot remember the last time he had been nervous. 

Maybe back in his teenage years? If that. 

It was an unsettling feeling that was currently pooling in the pit of his stomach as he changed his outfit for the third time before finally being somewhat satisfied with the suit he had picked out - tighter black jeans, black button-up, black blazer - couldn’t go wrong there. ***

YN had texted him asking what she should wear for their first date when Harry told her he was going to keep it simple and take her to a restaurant.

He had to dress nice, it was an expensive restaurant that he had not taken any other dates to before, it was right outside of London - going towards the countryside with a beautiful view of a meadow and stream.

When he had arrived in front of her apartment, well he had never been on this side of town, and it quite frankly looked like the roof of her building was about to collapse at any minute. It was rough to say the least.

Harry had picked out a car he thought would impress her. He remembered her saying the doors of his Lamborghini were stupid so he picked a car with normal doors this time. It was his new Audi Quattro that had cost him upwards of 170,000 pounds. ***

YN had popped out of the front door, her face didn’t read impressed when she saw the car like he had hoped. It was interesting before YN, he did not care whether or not his dates were impressed by him - now he craved it.

She looked extraordinary in a form fitting silky black dress that hugged every single curve of her body perfectly while accentuating them at the same time. Minimal makeup, loose waves, and simple high heels - it was like a dream that he was taking this girl out on a date. ***

When she slips into the passenger seat, the smell of her floral yet cinnamon perfume makes the car smell heavenly, she looks over at him and says, “You didn’t even come open the door for me. We’re off to a bad start, Harry.”

His heart sinks, fuck - he had been blindsided by her beauty that he wasn’t even being a proper gentleman, “M’so sorry, I wa-”

She chirps out a tender laugh, patting his arm, “You’re face, oh my god. I was just fucking with you.”

Harry’s frown turns into a pout, “S’not nice, pet.”

YN shrugs before a bit self-consciously adjusting the fabric around her midsection, “Erm, I hope this outfit is nice enough? It’s really the only semi-decent thing I own.”

He shakes his head in disbelief, “Y’look absolutely stunning. I can’t even believe y’real to be honest, so fuckin’ pretty.”

YN gives him a shy, unsure smile but he can tell she’s preening at the compliment internally (which she totally is).

The restaurant is one of the nicest in England, let alone London. 

There wasn’t even a menu, they just served eight courses over a few hours time by servers in suits with bowties on. 

YN had never felt more out of place.

As they sat down, Harry was proud that he was able to show off his abilities for a good date, YN was looking around nervously before looking up at the server and saying, “We didn’t get menus yet.”

The man gives her a humorous expression before telling her, “We don’t do menus here, miss. Your date is a regular, I am sure he can fill you in. However, we are starting off with a Cabernet from 2001 imported from Napa, California.”

As he pours the wine into their sparkling glasses, she asks unknowingly, “I don’t really like wine. Is there any way I could get a Coke?”

Harry frowns when the server laughs meanly at her, “Ma’am this isn’t McDonald’s. We do not carry soda. I can provide you with water, if you so wish.”

Harry can’t help but snap at the waiter, “Oi, she’s never been here before. Lay off with the attitude alright?”

“My apologies, Mr. Styles,” He murmurs obediently before finishing the pouring off the whine and retreating from the table.

YN is trying to hide how uncomfortable she is but it is still obvious with how she fidgets in her seat, doesn���t quite know what to do with her hands as she doesn’t even bother to reach towards the wine glass.

“This isn’t really your scene, is it?” Harry murmurs, embarrassment with his failure to impress her with an expensive car and dinner. 

It was falling flat and it was the only thing he knew how to do - flaunt his wealth, everyone else had always been impressed.

“No, it isn’t,” She agrees quietly, fingers folding the edges of the cloth napkin to keep her anxiousness directed somewhere, “I appreciate this, er, dinner. I thought we were going to go somewhere like Mary’s.”

Mary’s was a restaurant that was considered ‘nice’ to the commoners in the city. It was a bit more expensive than a pub and the attire was a bit fancier than if you were going out to a bar. 

For someone like Harry, that was not considered a fancy restaurant. 

However, YN was not him and this was not something that she had ever been accustomed to. He now definitely felt like an idiot.

It’s made even worse when a massive plate is put in front of each of them. 

The plate is huge but the dish is merely one scallop with a lemon sauce and sprinkle of parsley on top. YN can’t even try to hide her confusion at the food.

 “I’ve mucked this date up,” Harry sighs, nearly thirty minutes into the actual date. 

YN had taken a small bite of the scallop before setting down her fork and not touching it again - it tasted like dirty feet. Did rich people like that taste?

She decides not to answer directly, “I already know you have money. It doesn’t ‘wow’ me. I was hoping for a fun date, this is….nice but quite truthfully, not for me. I prefer a pub or bowling - this feels more like a business meeting.”

Harry usually doesn’t have dates that are this honest with him. 

He feels embarrassed but he really did appreciate her honesty. He should have known to do something different than this but he was comfortable with his normal pattern.

“Can we get out of here?” YN asks, placing the napkin back on the table and gathering up her small purse to swing over her shoulder.

He feels defeated as he nods, paying for the meal in full as he accepts that he’s fucked up the date beyond repair by being an arrogant, ignorant asshole who doesn’t truly know how to talk to a girl he likes.

It’s quiet as he starts the car and pulls back onto the road, he startles a bit when YN points to a glowing sign of a golden arch and demands, “Go there.”

With a bit of confusion, Harry pulls into the McDonald’s parking lot and then to the drive-thru as she motions for him to do so. 

God, he hasn’t been to a fast food joint in years now if he was being honest.

When they pull up to the screen, YN leans across and shoots out their food order with ease before sitting back with a smug smile, “We’re going to have a date my way.”

Harry sighs with relief when he realizes the date isn’t over - but really just beginning. They sit and chat in the parking lot. He is thoroughly impressed when YN manages a box of nuggets, a fry, and a milkshake without shame.

Not like she should be shameful - just usually on dates women were hesitant to actually eat and instead picked carefully at their food instead. Their conversation in the car is bright, at some points deep and meaningful, but refreshing. It made him feel young again.

After they finished eating, she’s ordering him to drive a bit further out into the country where he can’t help but make the joke, “Are y’taking me somewhere to kill me?” YN smiles happily with a wide grin, “You’ll just have to wait to see.”

It ends up being a lake. A beautiful body of water that was surrounded by trees that were being reflected into the ripples with the light of the moon. The only sounds were of crickets chirping and the light lapping of the water against the small shore. ***

“I used to come here a lot in the summer in high school,” YN murmurs as Harry takes in the scenery of everything. It had been so long since he had appreciated nature - not the bright clear waters in the tropics but something like this.

“S’beautiful,” Harry replies, can’t help but observe this girl he’s infatuated beauty in the moonlight. 

Her skin looks like it’s glowing, the moon sparkling off the twinkle of her iries, and she just looked...ethereal. Like she belonged in the beauty of the wilderness.

He couldn’t believe his eyes - had to blink harshly a few times to make sure he’s not imagining it when she pulls the thin straps of her dress down her shoulders and shimmy the garment down her body until she’s left in a delicate lace bra and cheeky pair of underwear.

Harry, always the gentleman, keeps his eyes (with effort) on her face. Unsure of what is going on in her mind before she turns around with a little run and dives headfirst into the deep waters before popping back up and giggling, “Jump in!”

She’s just so...carefree, adventurous. Harry hadn’t felt free in fucking years.

It has him shucking out of all of his clothing, just down to his tight black briefs before he’s diving in, right next to her, and feeling around. He wraps his hand around her ankle to teasingly tug her under with him before they both surface.

As they wad in the water, YN swims over to him, and wraps her legs around his waist, arms around his neck. Her soaking wet hair was dripping and he was breathing heavy, feeling his ribcage expand against her soft tummy.

She murmurs quietly over the light lapping over the water, “You haven’t even looked at me once.”

Harry swallows, feeling like a schoolboy again, “I...I didn’t want to without permission.”

“I want you to look at me,” YN replies, letting her nose nudge his and her eyes searching into his nervous ones. 

He nods, closing his eyes when he feels her lips brush his, letting his large palms grip at her sides and pull her closer to his chest. Their lips not breaking when his hands begin to explore the intricate, plush curves of her body.

They don’t do anything else, don’t go any further but he groaning when she traces her fingertips down his muscular, defined abs and thumb rubbing over the trail of light hair leading into his briefs.

After a swim, filled with splashing and dunking, they retired to lay in the grass. Both of their backs, looking up at the clear night sky, moon full and stars glittering against the stark darkness that surrounds it.

YN wriggle until she’s tucked into his side, hand running up and down his chest, as she says, “I’m sorry your date didn’t go as planned. I ruined it.”

“Y’didn’t ruin anything. I...I haven’t felt like this in a long time,” Harry admits as he gives off an embarrassed laugh, “I..I’m a little bit scared, to be honest.”

“Scared? Of what?” YN asks, lips pressing against a tattoo on his bare shoulder.

“Because I already am falling for you,” Harry utters, heart racing and his eyes glued upwards and pointedly not wanting to see her interaction.

“That’s a relief.”

His eyebrows shoot up, “A relief?”

“Yeah, I would say. I’m falling too,” YN whispers before leaning up to connect their lips once more as the moon rises further in the sky and the crickets sing a little louder. They lay like that for a very long time.

Harry went home that night for the first time not feeling the empty weight of his loneliness, instead he feel asleep imagining the beautiful, spontaneous girl next to him in his bed.

--

It wasn’t going to be the wedding everyone expected for The Harry Styles. **

There was not many invites set out for this event. It wasn’t the wedding of the century or the most expensive wedding of the decade.

Harry would have let his wife-to-be have this day however she wanted without complaint but could say he was very happy that it was going to a be a low-key event. It was going to be some of YN’s family, though she didn’t have much, and Harry’s extended family. No one from work or business. Just family.

They had just gotten finished with the rehearsal dinner, the couple being ordered to separate rooms for the final night before they were married. It was tradition. 

Harry had walked YN to her hotel room, they were staying at the venue, and pressed her up against the door. His hand coming to weave into her meticulously curled hair and cupping the back of her head, bring her mouth to his.

He wastes no time in letting his tongue find hers, hips coming to press her further back against the aged wood, and his teeth nipping roughly at her plump bottom lip, “Baby, y’gonna be m’wife tomorrow.”

YN’s eyes twinkle up at him like they did during their first date, “I can’t wait. I can’t wait to spend forever with you.”

His fiance laughs kindly as he gets a bit watery eyed, her thumb coming to swipe under his eye, she jokes, “Are you regretting proposing now?”

“Just never knew I could be this happy,” He murmurs against her lips, can’t help but reach around to grip a generous amount of her backside and pulling her flush against him where he’s hardening quickly.

“Mm, down boy. You don’t get the goods until tomorrow,” YN scolds, hand wrapping around his wrist and squeaking when he squeezes harder to get the point across - how much he wants her, all the fucking time.

“Want it now, pet,” Harry whines lowly, grinding his hips forward into her, “Give it t’me, y’mouth, y’cun-”

“Alright lovebirds! Separate now!” Gemma barks to interrupt with the laughter of their childhood friend Chloe.

They pull Harry by the back of the shirt and push him forward towards his room, Gemma smiles back at YN, “Make him put a ring on it before you give it to him!”

“Gem!” Harry scolds with a whine, giving his fiance puppy dog eyes and a pouted bottom lip, “Baby, don’t let them take me!”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, I love you!” YN shouts back, waving and smiling to herself as she opens up the door to her room and then locking it after she steps in. It feels weird being in a hotel room without him but she was a bit sweaty and her nerves were wiry so she decided a nice bath would be a good idea.

-

It’s past two in the morning and she was no less ready to find sleep. The worries of whether everything will be set up properly, if she’ll stutter during her vows, there were just so many things that could go wrong.

Life didn’t even seem real at this moment. 

She was marrying her husband at an amazing castle on the coast of italy with family to surround them in love. She had the perfect dress, the perfect flowers, the perfect partner. ***

She had never had it easy. Never thought she would deserve something like this. Harry had made her feel worthy of all this, they deserved to have a happy ever after. 

When it hits three in the morning, she can’t stand the quiet of the italian countryside anymore, and is swinging her legs over the bed. She pockets the keycard Harry gave her earlier in the day in her cotton shorts before sneaking out of her room.

After she taps the card to the sensor, the large oak doorknob clicks, she slips in and closes the door as silently as possible. YN steps in to the room, Harry's asleep in his bed on his stomach, face smushed into the pillow.

Harry’s facial expression and body language while he was awake was so severe, serious, intimidating. In sleep, his face was lax and his limbs loose. He looked more boyish when he was dreaming.

YN’s heart aches at how much she loves him, pulling the covers up, and crawling under them until she’s jostling him unintentionally, waking him from his light sleep with a mumble, “Baby, y’okay? Wha’s wrong? Y’alright?”

She giggles at his dazy panic, “I just missed you.”

“Mmm,” Harry agrees, pulling her all the way down and rolling on top of her, “Missed y’more.”

“You’re like a toaster!” YN squeals as he’s encompasses her, laying on her with his weight. His lips finding her pulse point and gently sucking. He was barely awake and he still couldn’t stop himself from her finding comfort in her body.

“I’m warmin’ y’up,” Harry growls against her neck before giving her a lick which has her giggling even more and pushing him off until he falls on his back and she’s swing her legs over his waist, straddling him.

“Y’breakin’ the tradition, m’heart.”

YN shrugs, humming while he palms at her belly, and she (much to his disappointment) ignores where he’s hard and waiting for her.

“I want t’sleep with you,” She pleas sheepishly, leaning all the way over to connect their lips in a quickie peck before she’s moving off of him and into his side.

“Never say no to you, y’know that, dovie,” Harry replies as if it’s obvious (it is).

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” YN whispers into the dark, like it’s a secret just between the two.

Harry nuzzles his nose against her temple, “Never wanted anythin’ more than I want you.”

YN can’t help but sniffle softly, overwhelmed with emotion and love, “You’re so good to me. I don’t deserve you.”

“You saved me. You saved me from myself, from where I was going. You gave me hope, feeling again. Y’are m’heart, it fuckin’ beats for you.”

It may not be tradition but YN wouldn’t of had it any other way, sleeping in a magnificent castle on the ethereal coast of Italy in a classic hotel room, and the excitement of their wedding rumbling in both of their stomachs.

--

“You sneaky bastards!” Bethany screeches, door flinging open with Gemma in tow as they intrude into Harry’s room - finding the couple curled up under the covers with Harry spooning YN with his face tucked into her hair.

“Fuck off,” Harry groans, pulling his fiance closer into his chest as she wriggles awake and whimpers lowly, “Mornin’ lovie.”

“Out out!” Gemma shoos, pulling the covers off of them and the sisters showing no mercy while they yank YN out of the bed and titter about how she needs to start getting ready, no time for cuddles, breaking traditions.

“Bring her back!” He whines childishly, hurling a pillow at his sister’s retreating back as they guide YN back to her own room.

“You’ll see her in a few hours!” Gemma shouts back before slamming the hotel room door and leaving Harry to doze off for just a few more minutes.

-

Hair and makeup went fast. 

It was getting closer and closer to actually walking down the aisle towards her soon-to-be life partner and she’s never felt more nervous.

Rosemary and Bethany were all rushing around - attempting to get ready in the midst of getting the bride ready.

YN didn’t want to look like a doll or have any intense makeup. It was a soft champagne smokey eye with dewy skin and a glowing highlight. A nice lip with a bit of glittering gloss.

Her hair was in big, loose curls that cascaded down her back with the front pulled off of her face. A real white flower holding it back.

Then it was the dress. She was anxious about whether Harry would like it or not. She wasn’t sure what he was expecting her to wear - a massive ball gown, a form-fitting mermaid, or something less over-the-top?

It was a show-stopper that had her memorized when she had first seen it - could automatically imagined herself getting married in Italy with this on her body.

It was also one of the only times she didn’t even care about the price tag - she knew this was it. Yes, it was absurd to spend fifty thousand pounds on a dress but it was the one time she took advantage of Harry’s wealth.

It was flowy, reminding her of the soft waves that lapped at the coast of the italian beaches. It was sophisticated, classy with a sharp starch white that billowed into a dreamlike beauty.

What had made her fall in love was the sheer, detailed sleeves that gave the dress more of a vintage, glamour appearance than the modern tight-fit, overly sexy gowns that most brides wore nowawadays. ***

The train was long and sleek. It would trail beautifully down the aisle before being bustled for the reception. It made her feel confident in a way that an item of clothing next had made her feel before.

“Your tits look amazing,” Bethany compliments before giggling when their grandmum pinches her arm for her crude language.

YN couldn’t find it in her to laugh. She felt like her voice was stuck in her throat and it wasn’t moving. 

It started to feel real.

The fact that Harry had proposed, had planned a wedding with her, that he was agreeing to marrying her today.

It was starting to scare her - no, not cold feet but anxiety that he would realize that he could do better than the lowly waitress.

Now, on a normal day, she wouldn’t be having these irrational thoughts. Today was different and it felt too good to be true.

Rosemary and Bethany sense the tension in the room, rub her shoulders, and respect her wishes when she asked for a moment alone.

YN debates picking up her phone, knowing he was busy with his bigger side of the family in the groom’s suite.

She finds herself picking up her mobile, dialing his number, and waiting with bated breath for his syrupy, warm voice to pour through the speaker.

“Everythin’ okay?” He answers, she can hear Anne and Gemma tittering about in the background, yelling at him to get a move on.

“I’m scared,” YN whispers, she holds back her tears because the last thing she wanted to do was ruin her meticulous makeup.

“Leavin’ me at the altar?” Harry jokes lowly, stepping away from prying ears.

YN giggles at his teasing tone, “Never. I…I feel like this is all too good to be true. Like it’s a dream and I’m going to wake up.”

Harry huffs, “Sweetheart. Y’my soulmate, if y’wake up - I’m right there with you, okay? God, if anyone is dreamin’ it’s me. I get t’marry the most beautiful, intelligent -“

Gemma’s voice interrupts him, “You already seduced her into marrying you! We don’t have time for this sweet talk!”

The line goes dead but YN feels much better now.

—

Rosemary was going to be the one walking her down the aisle to her new husband. It didn’t feel right to have anyone else do it as she was the one who raised her into the strong, independent woman she was today.

YN knew she wanted to have an outside wedding. 

What would be more perfect than a cool evening in Italy? It was what she had dreamed about since she was little without the idea that it would ever happen.

The weather was absolutely perfect. There was a slight warm breeze that would keep the guests from being overheated, the sun was peeking in and out of vibrant white clouds that complimented the blue sky.

She knew exactly where Harry would be standing. 

Underneath a beautiful, dated archway with intricate designs about. 

The old material had lovingly grown luscious ivy that kissed the walls in a swirling, natural design. 

YN would never forget how beautiful that ivy had looked on her wedding day, encompassing the magnificent that was her soon-to-be husband.***

The venue was open, airy but still gave off an intimacy. There weren't many rows of chairs because not many were invited to share in such an ethereal experience where soulmates have found each other and were announcing their commitment to the world.

“Are you ready, my daughter?” Her grandmother had asked quietly as they lined up behind the expansive, old brick wall that hides them from the rest of the ceremony and crowd. She could hear the whispering as people took their seats.

YN nods, her vocal cords refusing to cooperate as she imagines Harry just as nervous on the opposite side with his family. 

When the twinkling, traditional music begins from the small orchestra off to the side - the realization hits her - it is actually happening, right now.

Bethany puts her bouquet in front of her, giving one last meaningful smile at her sister before she takes her cue to turn the corner and begins her walk down the aisle. 

It meant Harry was up there, watching as she was about to appear.

Then the orchestra’s melody became louder, more grand in the signaling for the guests to stand and turned toward the back of the room - awaiting the bride’s entrance to the ceremony. 

Rosemary takes the initiative to hook their arms and guide her past the wall.

YN clutches onto her own flowers as if it’s her lifeline. ***

Every fear, insecurity, moment of self-doubt dissipates when her eyes connect to Harry’s. There is no longer a doubt in her mind that she wasn’t enough. It was a deep, unbreakable stare as Harry’s mouth parts in a gasp of awe.

He was in a suit that was undeniably him. It displayed how fucking regal he was, how it looked like he was handcrafted into the italian design, how it fit him just perfectly.

It wasn’t a normal tuxedo. It was a perfectly tailored, custom (of course) Gucci suit that excentuate his broad shoulders and the nip of his narrow hips *** ***. 

YN can’t even hear the noise of the guests - whispering about how beautiful she looks.

All she can see is her future husband, who swallows harshly as an unexpected sob wracks through his chest at the sight of his bride.

The guests can’t help but look with wide eyes as the man they know - who they’ve barely ever seen smile, let alone cry, cannot control his emotions.

Gemma, who was his ‘best man’ which they deemed ‘best woman’, rubs his back soothingly with a watery smile herself at seeing her brother so estastatic as he looks at the woman of his dreams.

Harry rubs his eyes before meeting hers again.

YN is holding back her own tears as she reaches the end of the aisle.

In tradition as old as time, Harry steps forward and Rosemary passes her hand over to him in a signal that she trusts him to take care of the girl she’s spent meticulous time raising and cultivating into the person she is today.

“I trust you to take care of my girl, she is now yours,” Rosemary tells Harry, her tone is calm and full of emotion as she allows Harry to lean over to kiss her cheek softly.

Harry nods, his usually stable voice shaky as he replies, “I promise, I’ll take care of her until the day I die.”

Rosemary nods before patting his cheek and finding her seat in the audience.

When they are finally standing face-to-face, YN reaches over to thumb off a stray tear that was sliding down his cheek before he turns his head to kiss her thumb then kissing her palm. 

Harry didn’t even acknowledge that there was anyone else watching - it was just him and her.

“Y’look breathtaking, can’t believe y’mine,” Harry murmurs trembling, his chest moving faster than usual and it felt like it was nearly impossible for him to catch his breath as he looked at the woman in front of him.

When it comes to the vows, Bethany hands over her small piece of paper that she had scribbled onto and scratched out multiple times - never quite able to get the wording just right and she says just that.

“I couldn’t find the right words to explain my love for you,” She starts, voice raspy as she looks up to see Harry watching her raptly, eyes intense and only focused on her.

“And maybe there aren’t even words to explain it because nothing felt like enough. It is how I feel a lot of the time with you. I’ll never have enough of you because you’re all-consuming to me. I have never felt happiness like I have with you.”

YN is trying to stifle her tears as she continues, Harry reaches out to rub her arm in reassurance then he lightly brushes over the new necklace he had gifted her, “You’re by far the most complex, closed-off person I have ever met. I feel like you’ve allowed me to crack the code and once I did, I wasn’t disappointed. I’ve cracked my own code, you see.”

“The code to explaining my feelings for you will come with my dedication, love, loyalty to be your wife for the rest of our lives.”

Harry can’t help what he does next despite it not falling in line at the ceremony.

His hands come up to cup her jaw and he sears his lips to hers, kissing her with all the passion and emotion he cannot seem to keep in any longer. It’s too much, has to show her in that moment how much he loves her.

A few of his uncles whistle from the crowd as their wives smack their chests in warning.

YN giggles, returning the kiss before pushing him off. 

The look in his eyes is one she knows extremely well - it sends shivers down her spine and makes her hair stand on end -, the stare down of lust and want.

“Mr. Styles,” The officiant redirects, nodding towards the piece of paper he has in his hand.

“Yeah, sorry,” Harry mumbles, unraveling the wrinkled notecard he had tucked in his inner suit pocket.

“I knew I was in love with you the moment you spilled that drink on me and undressed me in that dodgy employee bathroom,” Harry says with full sincerity, smirking at YN’s blush when he brings up the way they met.

“I tried to talk myself out of it. It was impossible to fall in love in mere minutes of meeting someone but it was the truth. I knew after our first date that I wanted y’to be m’wife. I knew after the second that I wanted y’to be the mother of my babies one day. And by the third date, I was planning on buying you a ring.”

“It sounds insane because it is. I’ve never been an impulsive, spur-of-the-moment, hopeful person before you. You made me throw all that out of the window, you make me feel alive, and when I tell you that you saved me. You saved me, m’love.”

“There is a lot of uncertainty in this world but I can tell you one thing that is absolutely fuckin’ certain -”

“Harry,” YN hisses with an eye-roll at his crude language.

“The one thing that is absolutely certain in this world is that I will always love you, always take care of you, and always do everythin’ in m’power to make you happy.”

The guests in the chairs are quite speechless. 

They’d never heard such passionate, meaningful vows from a couple. 

This was not what they were expecting of Harry who had never once put his heart on his sleeve and right now he’d laid it all out on the table.

--

“YN LN, do you agree to take Harry Edward Styles as your husband? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant asks, voice ringing against the walls of the castle.

YN has to take a big breath before she replies in a strong, firm voice as her eyes bore into Harry’s, “I do.”

“Harry Edward Styles, do you agree to take YN MN LN as your wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, until the end of your time on earth?” The officiant repeats.

Harry, in ever typical fashion, in his loud, booming voice replies, “Of course I fuckin’ do.”

The guests in the audience laugh lightly as the officiant states, “I now announce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Styles. You may now kiss your bride.”

It doesn’t take more than a second for Harry to step forward, grip her face and pull her in for a kiss, it doesn’t matter that their family is there to him as he licks into her mouth which is bordering on obscene before YN brings it back to a softer, more appropriate one.

He whispers against his lips, barely audible, “Can’t believe y’my fucking wife, m’fucking heart.”

--

As people are moving towards the reception area, Harry manages to find a secluded area of the outside gardens where there is no one in sight.

“Baby, baby, y’married me,” Harry is nearly chanting, like he’s in disbelief, at the same time he’s cornering his new bride up against the brick wall with his mouth trailing sloppy wet kisses down her shoulder.

“Mmm, it was everything I ever imagined, it was so beautiful. Everything I had imagined for our day,” YN replies blissfully, hands running carefully through his meticulously styled hair.

When he bends down and lifts up the bottom of her dress, she giggles when he ducks his head underneath all the tulle and fabric, finding a very skimpy pair of white lace panties that are supposed to be saved for later.

“Harry,” YN scolds half-heartedly, it would only take one person to find them in this undeniable inappropriate situation but she willingly let him push her further against the brick and take one of her legs over his shoulder.

“Baby, these fuckin’ panties,” He groans, muffled by the barrier of the heavy fabric, and she hisses when pulls them down to the thick of her thighs and his mouths finds her center within moments.

“Fu-fuck,” She hisses, trying to keep her moans down as he wastes no time in pushing in two thick fingers to curve towards her front as his tongue laps quickly and sloppily on her clit until it feels like she’s about to explode.

“S’right, fuckin’ m’cunt. I have it f’the rest of my life, found the best one,” Harry mutters against her wet skin, almost to himself like he can’t even believe the words, before he’s back to speeding up his fingers to match the rhythm of his mouth until she’s quivering for a whole other reason now.

It takes a few minutes for Harry to calm himself down enough to be able to go into the reception, he tells YN that he can’t even look at her right now because if he does he’ll be perpetually hard throughout the whole thing.

--

The reception is more of a dinner than a party. 

Fairy lights strung above the two long tables where decadent, mouth-watering food was served with the orchestra playing light, melodic music in the background. ***

It was perfect. 

Their family drank, laughed, ate, and were merry. 

Everyone was basking in each other’s company, congratulating the new couple, and enjoying all the beauty that was surrounding them at the castle. 

There is not much more to say than that. 

--

The honeymoon suite was located on one of the highest floors of the castle, away from all of the other wedding guests and staff.

YN was sure it was beautiful but from the moment she was carried over the threshold, she didn’t see anything but her new husband - he was blinding in his beauty. His skin was glowing, a slight sheen of sweat from the reception, and the still warm bite in the breeze. ***

“Sweetheart, baby. Please let m’undress you, y’my wife,” Harry pleas softly, his hands are everywhere - her face, her shoulders, hips - continuously wandering as if it’s impossible to find one place to settle.

“Please, c’mon. I need you, H,” She agrees, letting him take down the zipper on the side of her gown.

The expensive garment discarded on the floor in a pool of fabric as he fully takes in her lingerie set. ***

“Fuck me, darlin’,” Harry chuckles in amazement, fingertips tracing over the delicate lace that was stitched by Alessandro Michele himself for the bride, "Y’body is a god damn dream, look at you. - fuck.”

“Please,” His wife whimpers, voice desperate as his light and careful touches are no longer enough. 

She needs him close, she needs her husband.

“Okay, okay,” He simpers, moving her back until he can have her right where he wants her, on her back in the middle of the massive, blanket-ridden bed - her white lingerie standing out against the dark duvet.

Harry had always imagined this night. 

To have someone laid out underneath him. 

No rush, no urgency but to truly, physically show that person through touch that you love them.

He starts near her collarbone, feathery heated kisses that warm her skin as she welcomes him with heavy weight on top of her so eager he wasn’t even undressed yet.

When his mouth finds her nipples through the sheer fabric, she pushes her chest up in encouragement as he bites at the nubs with sharp but careful teeth that wet the fabric.

“It feels so good, baby,” YN mewls, letting him nip and suck for a moment before pushing him up until he’s rid of every inch of fabric that had been covering his body.

“M’always gonna make y’feel good. I’ll fuck you wherever, wehenver cause you’re m’wife,” Harry grunts, impatiently reaching behind to unclasp the corset until her breasts spill free and jiggle in a way that makes his mouth water.

“Wait, wait,” YN puts a hand to his cheek when he already has his mouth darting out to lap at her hardened nipple.

“Don’t make me wait, m’heart,” Harry grumbles with a furrowed brow, his hand still unable to stop from reaching up to palm at her full breasts, thumbs rolling the nipples as he stares fiercely up at her.

“You know how you got me a present?” YN murmurs, biting back a whimper when a zip of electricity shoots from her nipple down to where she’s already dripping for him, “I got you something too.”

Harry’s face relaxes, it’s like he finds his grounding again, “Baby, didn’t need t’get me anythin’. Y’the best fuckin’ gift I could have gotten. Does look beautiful sittin’ between y’tits though.”

His new wife giggles, “Well I really hope you like mine….it’s non-refundable.”

He looks at her with confusion even more so when she wriggles down her panties and flips on her belly with her arms resting under chin.

Of course, Harry finds it immediately and she can tell by the deep, pleased growl he emits from the back of his throat, “You fuckin’ didn’t.”

“I did.”

It was his name, small and cursive right on her bum cheek. 

After they got engaged, he went out and got her name tattooed on his pec - much to her dismay. 

She had never talked about returning the favor and had kept it the ultimate surprise.

“I think I almost just came from this,” Harry rasps, his fingers tracing the small ink over and over in awe, “Baby, y’put m’name on your bum. It makes y’look like my property, sweetheart.”

“I am yours,” YN giggles, yelping when she feels his teeth graze the sensitive skin before he’s suckling and licking at his name - can’t take his eyes off the beauty of her.

“Yeah, you fuckin’ are,” He agrees whole-heartedly, his hands calming to cup and palm at her cheeks as he fawns over his wedding present, “This is the best present I’d ever fuckin’ received, fuck - never goin’ to get over this.”

He doesn’t want to look away from the tattoo but knows how he wants to fuck his wife for the first time so he flips her onto her back once again, lips finding hers. 

She whispers, hand wrapping around his cock, “Still have to pay you back for earlier.”

“No blowies tonight, pet. We’re goin’ to do it the right way, m’gonna make love to you,” Harry murmurs, his lips finding hers as he bats her hand away to grasp at his thick base. He teases the sensitive head over her clit and entrance a few times before slowly sinking in.

“Ohh, been ready for you all day. You looked like a fucking wet dream standing at the alter, waiting for me,” YN sighs happily, wriggling her hips to adjust a bit before she spreads her legs and lets Harry rest in between them, “Ever since I saw you in the suit, I’ve been waiting.”

“Yeah, baby? I can tell, y’so wet, warm f’me,” Harry praises, his movements are slow and unrushed, their hips meeting gently as he pushes in each time with care, “Can’t believe y’gonna let me have this for the rest of m’life.”

“I love you so so much,” She utters breathlessly as he continues to make her feel so fucking full - emotionally and physically, “Best husband ever, can’t believe it.”

Harry chuckles tenderly, “Baby, I need y’to come soon. I’m so close, never come this quick. The thought of y’being my wife is making it impossible to last then with the tatto-”

YN soothes his hair in understanding, pushing up to meet their lips and allow their tongues to dance as he lifts her thigh against his hip to thrust in with a bit more force. His thumb comes to her clit to spur her along which doesn’t take much with how aroused she’s been all day.

Harry follows right after, much to his embarrassment of his lack of stamina but can you blame him? He has the hottest fucking wife on the planet.

“Round two?” YN smirks as he leans down to pepper kisses all over her cheeks. She knows the night has just begun.

“Mmm,” He agrees instantly, “Now that we made love, m’gonna fuck y’from behind so I can watch my name jiggle on your arse.”

And that’s what he does. It takes nearly no rebound time, flips her on her belly again to gaze and worship his name as he fills out in no time again. His fingers occasionally dip back between her thighs to tease at her entrance before he swipes her own wetness on the tattoo to lick it off.

She’s tired, exhausted from the events of the day but wants to reach that last orgasm before sleep overtakes them. 

On her hands and knees, Harry doesn’t pound into her like he normally would. 

Instead, he eases back in with eyes darting between his wedding present and where they’re connecting, his thumb diligently rubbing hard and steady circle on her nerves.

“C’mon wifey, need y’to not be stubborn,” Harry goads, feeling his release coming again - he pinches her clit with just enough pressure that has her whining before Harry has to hold her up by the waist as she quivers.

It has him finishing right after with a gentle smack to her bumcheek, the skin already tender and sore from all of his attention on the spot as it was.

“I loved your vows,” YN murmurs against his chest. He had wrapped her up in one of the plush blankets and he had pulled on a tight pair of briefs and they were laying on a lounge chair on the blacony under the italian stars.

“I loved yours just as much, y’did crack the code m’love ‘cause now I’m yours forever,” Harry rumbles, his voice raspy with drowsiness.

Little did they know that in a few short years, they would be back under these italian stars with knowledge that they were growing a little product of their love in her belly.

A litte baby named Ivy, just like the beautiful, lucious nature that had decorated the place in magneificent as they spoke vows - dedicating their lives to each other.

if you’ve ask to be on my taglist and you’re not here - please check your settings because i’ve tried to add you and it didn’t work.

taglist babies (thank you): @dioc4ne @hazgoldenstyles @harrysdimple05 @wonwooen @ficnarry @leeroysdancer @harrysloveheart @harryscherrysugar @pradastardust @rish-haz @wildcstdrexms @evanstylestan @wisetoadbonkbiscuit @meredithhuntt @tpwkvictoria @lovely-him @haymix @eiffelmezarry @pilgrim-harry @soullessbabee @afterglowstyles @tulsasjesus @elenagilbert01 @meh–mood @pretty-pop-princess-hs @msolbesg @localfalsegodstan @evanjh @i-just-like-fanfics @harrys-hs-gf @lightsupdoyouknowwhoyouare @afterglcwswift @harrystyles-tpwk @amyvandijk @godilovetheenglishx @harrys-cherrry @theprofessionalfanby @your–sweetest–downfall @la-cey @bdbtchdir @killerqueencapstan @elizabeth23567 @camflowervol6 @its-a-finee-line @rish-haz @solonelytobe @nav1234 @harrynamjoon @hopefullimaginer123 @westallenhes @awesomebooklover17 @will-be-a-fineline @vasilikir5 @your–sweetest–downfall @pretty-pop-princess-hs @harrynamjoon @harrypinks @ivyirenehoax @harryspink @sunsetcurve-h @goldenstylesh @mouthfulloftoothpastehs @hello-34583 @prettylovley @nicolecarsley @lamariettes @imavirginhoe @unknown7549 @mellamolayla @kiwitsayedsugar @hopefullimaginer123 @harrysmatcha @weaslettesstuff @saintsmotels @hi-yekaterina @aubreyfineline @harrysgoldenbum @ebstylesx @goldeng1rl8 @tnqueen @percysaidnever @bebecalpal

[al-hekima-madara-blog]

Madara has been my favourite character of all time. The depth of his character is just sooo well written ig? Idk. But when i see posts when madara the fricking warlord, reduced into a literal housewife......... Ughhhh its just pisses me tf off. Like i dont wanna hate on the people who made such art or wrote such fanfics but like at least respect his character a little. Its like a lion is suddenly deplected as a fkn kitten in need of milk. Like tf? I wanna tell them to stop it, but then again i don't wanna say something mean to people who are just living their life. Like its their opinion even if it pisses me off sm that i wanna throw my phone to a wall, bang my head and die with how chrige it makes me feel. What do you feel about such fanfic or art? Do you believe these artists need to stop it?

Amen to this ! To answer you, artists are free to create whatever they like however being free doesn't mean you're magically waterproof to critics. When you put something out in the world people gonna have a reaction. And if it's about a pre-existant character rooted on some tangible reality like canon, anime, Kishimoto's interview, other member of his crew's interview ect ect.... So yeah if that's OOC, people are gonna point out it's OOC. As simple as that.

But what is most important is your own ethic. How do you spend your time in tumblr? How do you contribute actively to the fandom you like? What do you reblog? Do you engage in conversation anonymously and/or directly with artists that you admire? Do you commission them for a visual you would like to see? Do you tips/or kofi them? Are you genuinely curious about their working process? What inspire them? Do you comment under your favourite fanfic? Do you post review of your fav fics and why you like it? Do you encourage around you people who do good analysis/meta? Do you write yourself your own thoughts even if it had been said before by others? there is always a different angle only you could have notice. Do you write fic yourself? even just a small one shot? Do you draw even if it's just a doodle?

I do everything I've listed above except drawing but that's something I wanna do in a near future. And for a blog who's less than a year, centered around a character as you said with depth, who is not part of the tier 10 or even 20 in term of popularity. I'm really thriving to the point I don't have time now to answer everyone as quickly as before, my notifications are always active even if I'm not there for days. I'm also engaging conversation with a lot of talented, articulate, funny people everyday. It takes maybe more time that if I was doing what the majority are doing but the reward is that I'm rarely bitter, less headache, and I don't have trolls. My dashboard reflects 80% of time what I love about Madara. I'm always excited to show my next post or read my mutuals. So yeah be authentic, consistent on creating and uplifting contents that you like and that will naturally attract around you the fandom that you want.

[wallspikes]

hi i know this is a new blog and none of you really know me yet but i have definitely been around the block in the g/t community MANY times and we’ve got way more issues rooted deeper than “oh i’m mad that there isn’t more angsty giant content 😡😡😡” so. while i’m here, you all need to take a step back and consider your actions while making ocs in this community, and that is definitely not excluding myself — with a dynamic so wrought with power imbalances, or alienation of characters, you really have to think about the type of character you’re about to put into that role.

i tend to see this issue with putting a character in an… iffy role with characters of color a lot. frankly, i’ve seen far too many “white savior” tropes, or “mean/aggressive giant is a person of color”, or “uncivilized giant/tiny is a person of color” and i don’t think i need to tell you why those are all Absolutely Unacceptable. there is either an extreme lack of poc representation in the g/t community, or those characters that are poc are often misrepresented with stereotypes (side note: i’ve also seen instances of skin lightening of characters of color, and excusing it by saying it is part of a persons artstyle, though this extends past the g/t community. resources at the bottom for that) find a way to make a character of color without making them a blatant stereotype, or don’t make them a character at all.

also, there is a HUGE issue with portraying and respecting fat people/characters as well. let’s be honest here: from what i’ve seen, art in the g/t community tends to land on two ends of the spectrum, “fat” (average) people that can fit in size 8 jeans, and extreme fatfetish art made by creepy people on deviantart. this isn’t the only problem. i’ve seen countless comments on art of fat characters containing things along the lines of “i want to squish them!” or “they look so soft” or “they look like a marshmallow :)” These Are Not Acceptable Things To Comment On Art Of Fat People. it’s dehumanizing. i’m sorry, but if that is all you can think of fat people, you need to rethink the last 10-20 years of your life until now. fat people are not your cushions, they are not your stress balls, they are not your pets.

there is a bit of a lack of lgbt stuff in the g/t community, though there isn’t much to criticize or bring up about the representation of said existing characters besides the obvious “uwu babies” treatment that most gay characters usually get, though fat characters tend to get that here too.

END ALL BE ALL. i know this is a comfort thing for most of us, but that doesn’t excuse or give the right to anyone to exacerbate racist stereotypes or fatphobic ideals. fix it, or throw it out.

(drawing/coloring poc:)

https://twitter.com/maambalam/status/1383247300827381768/photo/3

(drawing fat bodies:)

[elminx]

Energy Update: Sun square Chiron

The transits of this month are chugging along at what seems like a breakneck pace and things are feeling more than a little bit ouchy.

Today will be mostly overshadowed by a cardinal t-square between our Sun in Cancer and Chiron in Aries. We've had a lot of cardinal t-squares in the past two years (I'm sure that our friendly and not-so-friendly cardinal natives would say "more than enough"). This is because since January of 2020, all of our planets with the exception of Neptune and Uranus have made their way through the sign of Capricorn, and most (again, only accepting Saturn and Pluto) have since made their way into and in most cases through Aries as well - on the cases of all of our personal planets, twice now.

This has created a lot of time and space for recurrent and very touchy cardinal squares. Squares slow us down as they create friction and bring things that need to change to the surface, but the cardinal signs don't like to slow down and actually look where they are going. They certainly don't want to look back at where they've been. This creates conflict - far more conflict, on average, than fixed or mutable squares.

Since all of these squares have created a lot of doing without a lot of proper introspection or conflict resolution, we've created a backlog of hurt that people just aren't dealing with. Sure, it's been a hard two years to do the work but there certainly is an argument to be made for the need to do the work when the work is the hardest. Or, said another way, if your life is going to be hard anyway, why not put in the work to fix it rather than wallowing in your difficulties or playing ostrich and pretending that they don't exist?

That's where Chiron comes in. Chiron is, for all of us early in life and for many who don't overcome their traumas, the unhealed wound. Chiron is the metaphorical pain that won't go away because you know that you need to correct your posture but you just kept of walking. Chiron is the divine's sign to stop and tend to ourselves.

But, sadly, most of us don't. Sometimes it seems like Americans try to carry as many burdens as possible as a badge of honor. Some do it to get attention. Some do it to prove how strong they are - how much they can carry. Some do it to be saviors.

It is what it is. If this strikes a chord with you - on this very Chironian day - you may want to lash out. That is the cardinal sign way - fight rather than look inside. With our Sun involved, our egos may be involved. The ego may scream "but I need this".

And maybe you do. Maybe your victim status is the only thing you have to hang your hat on. Maybe if you put the world down, there would be nothing left. I'm not you - I don't know your struggle. But instead of digging in further, instead of being triggered by a deep truth and running away from it, I challenge you with this: look. Examine those wounds. It doesn't ultimately matter how old they are or where they came from.

To change an old adage: the best time to heal your wounds was 20 years ago. The next best time to heal your wounds is now.

Chiron actually has your back, perhaps more than you will ever know. The purpose of Chiron is not the cause pain - the pain is there to direct you to what is wrong. The way out of the cycle is through the pain.

Today is a great day to make that doctor's appointment that you've been putting off. It's a great day to stand up for yourself and finally say "no". It's a great day to quit that go-nowhere job (so long as you can manage it, of course). It's a great day to have that hard conversation - even if it ends things.

Today is a day made for reflections and then taking the necessary steps forward, whatever that means for you.

You don't have to keep moving if you're just moving in circles. Sometimes stopping is the right choice.

Do you like my work? You can support me over on KoFi by tipping me, purchasing an astrology report, or buying some of my art.

[interxstitial]

@mconlight:

( from here! )

it started as a joke, okay?

and like, yeah, haneul was being dramatic, but what else was he supposed to do! they'd been going through haneul's online dating profiles (plural.) for what seemed like hours— moving from haneul's couch to the coffee table to the floor with increasing frustration (from haneul) that nothing was working out quite right. he'll be honest and say that his standards are high, but how's he supposed to find the potential love of his life when no one he's spoken with knows the difference between a glitter eyeshadow and a shimmer? it's not meant to be!

so haneul fell to the floor, phone in hand, with a loud wail of, "i give up!" and the full intention of deleting every profile he's ever made.

and, totally no offense to jiwon or anything, but that man moves a lot faster than haneul would've expected. he's on him in an instant, working to rip his phone from his hands before haneul does something he regrets (call an ex or something— who knows what he's capable of in times of distress). but he has his dead weight on haneul directly, leaving him a wiggly noodle underneath jiwon's body as he fights and struggles (and inevitably fails) to keep his phone to himself.

"you fuckin'— jiwonyoufuckin'lunchboxletmegiveup!”

a romantic at his core, jiwon believes in all forms of love. perhaps he’s a bit foolish, as well as a bit biased, considering only six months ago he realised it was not typical to make out exclusively with his best friend since childhood. nevertheless, he loves love. it doesn’t have to be dramatic or life-altering. it doesn’t even have to last very long. it just has to be real. love can exist in the late-night embraces between close friends, between smiles shared by strangers, and beneath the stern reprimand of a seasoned mentor. love exists everywhere, even in the binary backbone of a dating app designed to match people based on photos of their pets.

“i will never let you give up!” jiwon shrieks for all the neighbours to hear. sat on the sofa, kofi breathes out a long-suffering whine and burrows further into the blanket jiwon brought from home. they’re supposed to be filming a video where kofi picks their makeup, but somewhere along the way they’d derailed into a full-on wrestling match for haneul’s phone and love life. it’s just not fair that haneul doesn’t have someone to curl up with every night, to kiss the tip of his silly nose, and to make him feel like the most precious, beloved being on the face of the planet because that, at least, is what love does for jiwon. (definitely a bit biased.)

“the love of your life is out there, and you want to give up? fuck no! now stop hitting— i said stop! quit being such a baby and put on your big boy thong. it’s time to find your true love!”

[rootandrock]

So, I'm working on a lot of projects right now and...

I know people like watching that sort of thing, and I greatly value the sort of feedback sharing the process can provide, but I'm gun-shy of making a Patreon commitment because The General Internets have begun regarding Patreon as a kind of online store. I'm not at all opposed to providing perks in return for contributions, but I too often see a model where people end up spending so much time fulfilling patreon perks that they never get to their own creations and end up deep in the red (both financially and emotionally). That said, I want your opinions on crowdfunding and the stuff I do - so take a peek behind the read more.

I'm also gun-shy about posting "in public" because, well... creating isn't a 1:1 exchange, and people read about a project and expect that they're going to get the results in a timely manner. Unfortunately, life is very good at kicking you in the shins and stealing your wallet. I, too, want that damned familiar book to be done, but it happens on it's own time (to be frank, I haven't been in a headspace for writing in a long time - that's changing though). And terse "well where is it?!" messages kill the already tender creative vibe.

I have full workshops I have unfettered access to that are only mostly hotter than the interior of Satan's bunghole right now, and I'm currently [Non-Employed? Jobn't? Existing in a tepid pool of commissions?]. I'm finally feeling creative for the first time in actual years. I might as well do something with that, right? A little of the old "life gives you lemons, but also sugar... so obviously you should make some lemonade."

Right now I'm working on: Ogham, Futhark, "Witch Runes" and (one more!) tiles to mold to make creating "runes" much easier, more consistent, and (potentially) far more detailed than I previously offered. A Lenormand Deck done in inks and watercolors with a homey, spooky, "dark cottagecore" Witch theme that I plan to have professionally printed and offer for sale somehow, at some point (decks are expensive to have made so I'm still working on that aspect - probably presales to hit a particular pricing bracket). Custom Molds of original sculpts and designs. Tiny altar statues (proof of concept for larger ones), bellarmine jars/bottles, altar plates/peytons/pentacles, spirit vessels etc. I've finally found a company that's not super-christian that does custom mold making, so ... fingers crossed? Bespoke Incenses and Oils. Some of them from the various "hefty price tag" grimoires, some of my own design. Some of these will never be available for public sale due to their nature so the only way to hear about 'em, let alone procure 'em, would be this theoretical patron hidey hole. The Big Herb Garden. Big garden. Lots of witching herbs. From Jezebel Root to an irresponsibly large collection of Artemisias, to The Datura Corner Where We Never Tread. Ensuring that plants that are routinely misrepresented, or hard to find in the "trade", are available without damaging already threatened populations in the wild. Short chapbooks on occult stuff (and if I'm lucky the Familiar Book). Oh please, let the notes coalesce into cogent thoughts. Please just become a book. Please. I actually already have one of these completed, just been procrastinating getting a test print done because InDesign is evil. I have three more I'm poking at on Mandrakes, how to make a Basilisk (and why that's a bad idea), and Spirit Vessels.

So... help me out here. Tell me if you wanna see this stuff, what your level of wanting to see it is, where you'd prefer to see it, etc.

As an example: I'd been leaning toward using Kofi (which can be single-time tips, or monthly) as a Discord integration manager, and putting most everything up on Discord as I go (because it's very easy to do from a phone without interrupting The Process), with intermittent recaps on Kofi, and a few posts here, for people who don't like chats. I'd also try to work in some kind of thank you for the folks who contribute a lot. And there'd be other chatrooms for book talk or whatever not tied to the crowdfunding.

And to be very transparent: Any profits go toward helping an LGBTQIA+ businessperson and crafter get free of a rotten living situation. That's my motivation, that's where the dollars (past supplies for projects) would end up. Late 2019 I had enough savings to get started on my own micro-budget tinyhouse and was waiting for decent weather... but then 2020 ... and then the price of lumber nearly quadrupled, priced me out, and stuck me here through a situation of escalating toxicity and a job loss. If that sorta thing gives you the warm and fuzzies, that's what the backing would do. Let me know what you think. I'll take it all into consideration, and see where things end up.

[tippenfunkaport]

Fics in Progress Update (Sept 2021)

I haven’t done a work in progress update in a while and so now seems like a good time to do that since I’m finally free of Glimbow Week and other commitments for a bit. I don’t know if anyone is actually interested in / cares about any of this stuff but it’s helpful for me to write it out and organize my thoughts.

Here’s the thing tho: I was thinking my schedule would normalize in the autumn and, for various reasons, that has not been the case At All so writing time is still super sporadic and I’m not going to commit to any consistent posting schedule.

That said, I’m planning to concentrate mostly just on my ongoing fics for a while so expect less random new one-shots and more finishing stuff that’s already up.

Incomplete/in progress works…

(No links bc Tumblr hates them but you can find all my fics at the link in my bio)

The Other Me has about ten chapters left by my outline but since we’re all having fun with that fic I may expand it a little as antics occur to me. My hope is to get that back to bi-monthly updates at the longest by the end of Sept.

Glowing Up: The Pirate and the Princess has a mere two to three chapters left (depending on how I chop it up) and I hope to have that finished before fall is over.

Lay Down was pretty much a very lone one-shot I chopped up so I could post it in time for Glimbow Week. The other two sections are written, I just want to clean them up and expand them a bit now that I have the time to do that. They will go up when they go up but, since there are only two sections left, it should finish up pretty quickly.

Going There, Coming Home and the Glimbow Swap (Prince Bow and Archer Glimmer) are my babies. I don't know exactly how many chapters are left of any of them (well I do, roughly, but I tend to split chapters as I edit which mucks with those numbers) but they are all very dear to me and I like just working on them at my own pace so those will continue to update willy nilly as I get time to work on them between other things.

What about [insert fic name here]?

I have many other one-shots and additions to my existing AUs I wrote as back-ups for Glimbow Week that are in various states of completion. I will post them or not as the spirit moves me.

As for bigger projects I’ve teased but have not started posting yet…

I was going to start posting Outlaws of the Whispering Woods (my dystopian Robin Hood AU) months ago but I decided to wait because a) I want to concentrate on making progress on some of my other big works in progress first and b) I’d like to try to hold it for the next Big Bang to give it a chance of it reaching a wider audience because I’m really proud of it and I’d like more people to read it.

In an ideal world, I’d start posting more Beasts AU for Halloween (bc that’s what I originally wrote it for) but it’s suffering from plot hole-itis right now so I can’t post it until I iron out some story issues. I’m not sure if I will ever post everything I have planned for that AU but I hope to at least post a big chunk of the Catradora / Glimbow part because it is dear to me.

Horde Glimmer AU: I have written much more of the same AU where Glimmer and Catra are swapped (as seen in my fic, Another World) and I am honestly not sure anymore if I will ever post it since that one-shot mostly flopped. That said, I might still post random scenes I’ve written to test the waters.

Fake Break-up AU, which I posted a teaser for during Palentines last year, is very dear to my bi-heart and in many ways the most personal thing I’ve ever written but I am not sure if I will ever be posting it despite having written a ton of it already. It depends on how life goes, particularly in relation to the next thing…

Last year around this time, I got distracted a Glimbow vampire AU. I wrote a ton before realizing… you know, this is so far from canon maybe I’d be better off just writing this for real. And, if I may be vague, things started happening there that told me it was the right choice. Will I ever post any of it in its original fanfic form? I am not sure but I might do a few select scenes as one shots at some point. Either way, you’ll get to read it eventually… Bow and Glimmer’s names just may be different. ;-)

The mood right now at Casa de Funkaport is frustrated because I really thought we’d be done with COVID by now and instead it continues to complicate my life in many ways. I am still starting to step back from fanfic to go back to work writing (which is why my focus right now is in finishing up stuff I’ve already started vs starting new stuff) but that’s been more of a slow tentative shuffle than the jump I thought it would be.

Anyway, that’s just a quick update on where everything stands! Remember, if you want to influence me to update your favorite fic next I am easily bribed with fanart of my fics and Kofi tips! ;-)

[unholyplumpprincess]

Too Big

For an anon who sent in a few kofis (so I made this longer!) I hope you enjoy! They asked for werewolf Bloodhound and reader where Bloodhound is too big to fit inside reader so they fuck their tiddies instead!

Fandom: Apex Legends

Relationship: Bloodhound x Reader

Warnings: R18+/NSFT, Bloodhound has a vulva but they use a strap on but their vulva IS mentioned, Reader is gender neutral and has a vulva but no pronouns stated, Werewolf fucking, that big red strap on makes a come back but even Bigger and Badder, Bloodhound’s various body mods

Words: 1.1k

___________

Bloodhound had to be one of the most beautiful people you’d ever come to meet.  

Their heart was golden, their smile matching as such, their mischief was playful, and their crimson curls streaked with gray at the front always framed them beautifully. Even their scars on their face from another beast were beautiful, the lightning-like scars of their coolant injury as a child being pathways for your lips to trace on  nights  their body felt far too cold.  

When you were in the friend stage, you had taken their affinity for the full moons as part of their religion. And though you were correct, it turned out there had been something a little...more to that than you had thought.  

Well, Bloodhound was one of the most beautiful people you’d ever come to meet.  

And one of the most beautiful wolves you’d ever seen.  

Lycanthrope, they had explained to you. It ran in their family. And in a world where aliens who walked on two legs, talking robots, and alien beasts existed, why not a werewolf as well? It explained a lot, after all. How their hearing and sense of smell was absolutely impeccable down to the way they seemed to be able to smell when you were aroused. At first you’d been embarrassed about that last one, but now whenever they’d frame their petite body against yours and trap you against a wall and growl about how delicious you smelled?  

Well. You couldn’t complain.  

~Rest under the cut~

Bloodhound was so beautiful, you’d thought. Either when they were stripped naked and you could cup their breasts and trail your hands down their smooth flesh, or when they were the size of a horse with too many snarling teeth and beautiful, crimson and grayed fur.  

Even now they were beautiful above you.  

Your heart is still pounding from the chase they’d given you. They’d always liked it when you ran, squealing as they nipped at your heels and herded you where they wanted you to be for the full moon. It was a night for them to let loose, and a night where you were made to be a sacrificial show for their gods.  

You’re lying flat on soft grass in a clearing now, your clothes ripped to shreds by their claws. They have their head slightly tipped so their unblinded eye can watch you squirm under them, their wet nose sniffling at your face playfully until you’re laughing and pushing at them. Your fingers sink into the soft curly fur of their neck, gently pushing their large head away from their wet sniffing.  

“C’mon, sit down, be a good dog.” You laugh out at them, watching them obediently sit with their tail thumping on the ground excitedly. You roll your eyes at them, taking the red rope from the bag you’d been carrying and scooting over on your knees. They help you by lifting their paws up, scooting where you need them to be so you can tie the rope over their hips. Fastening it into a makeshift harness built big enough for their beastly body.  

You reach into the bag they’d packed, finding lube you set aside for yourself before you grab the toy. Your eyes widen at the sight of it, having to use two hands to hold it as your head whips to look up at them.  

Bloodhound peers back at you, and even if their muzzle can’t make the smug expression you know they hold, their thumping tail gives away their glee.  

“Bloodhound this is NOT going to fit in my body.”  

“We can try. Are you not always greedy for my cock, beloved?”  

Their echoed reply in your head makes your cheeks flush. You stick out your tongue playfully, a bad move when you get a firm lick over your face in turn that makes you squeak.  

Regardless, you hitch the base of it into the harness. It had to be as long as your forearm, the knot the size of a fist and a half. There was no way it was going into your body.  

Still, you lie back, letting their cold nose bump your clit as they excitedly shift down onto their belly. Their massive paws rest on your thighs, lightly clawing as their huge tongue slides across your cunt.   

And even when you’ve cum once, and had four of your fingers lubed up and shoved inside of you to make room for them, only the tapered tip fits in you and already feels too big. You lie on your back, your legs hitched up around their fluffy body as they try to hump at you. Their soft whines are funny considering the situation, but you must have positioned the toy just right because you can hear their head above yours, split pierced tongue lolled out and panting.  

Their hips still hump, but only serve to make you whimper when your body refuses to stretch. But, if they can feel pleasure, why not put a show on?  

“Baby- baby,  c’mere , here let’s try something new?” You gently push at their shoulders, and they follow, shuffling back and watching you gently pull their hips up until they’re practically straddling your torso. A little awkward to have their fluffy belly in your face and smell their musk, but worth it when they turn their head around their shoulder to watch you.  

You press your breasts together with your hands to frame the wet strap on. Hearing them growl above you as their hips start to move again with that familiar wet, panting sound. It must be hitting their clit just right, a feat that you’re kind of proud of.  

Bloodhound’s soft growls are getting louder, especially when you part your lips when the tip keeps bumping them. Idly sucking on the tapered tip that had been inside you, making a show of licking it and whining at the familiar heat of arousal pressing at your sex. You gently let your fingers pinch at your nipples, rolling them as Bloodhound’s hips start fucking earnestly forward.  

When they cum, it’s with the frantic motions of their hips and their head thrown back in a howl. Due to it being a strap on, nothing comes out of it, but you do feel the light wetness trickling down near your belly where their own cunt hovers above you.  

Carefully, they step back over you when they’re done. Coming face to face with you with this grumpy expression crossing their features and their forehead pressing to yours affectionately.  

“Told you it was too big.” You playfully mention, patting their head gently to scritch behind their ear that still had its various gold piercings.  

They huff through their nose, their voice echoing through your mind coyly. “Do you take me for a quitter, my love? We have all night to try.”  

Fuck.  

[mmidsay]

EnderMemiorSMP (Maze Runner AU)

A/N - I’m so sorry if I missed anyone I don't keep up to date with ender smp! (I only really watch remi’s pov i tried to ask questions and make it as accurate as possible!)

God my head, it smells of steel. I struggle to open my eyes as I feel the texture of the metal I’m laying on. It reeks, My body slowly let’s every sense come back. The last to return was my hearing, the banging of the chains almost impossible to miss yet moments ago It all sounded like nothing existed. 

I sat in the box for what felt like hours, I don’t remember anything about myself, that’s fucking terrifying. All I know is that my hair is shaggy and out of place then I’m used to I could tell by the uncomfortable and foreign feeling it brought, I’m a decent height and my voice is too quiet to hear with the chains rattling. 

Wait 

What’s my name..

Where am I.. 

What is this..

I try to recall the people in my life and it all seems to have faded. I can smell the room but I can’t see the people, or why they’re there. The bright red and black hair gives a sense of friendship, the brunette seems as if they are proud of me? But what do I do? The memory fades more as I try to think about it. I felt like I was in hell, each memory I tried to recall slipped from me.

My memories are falling apart. I remember the brunette hair, and the- the uhm.. what is it.. as I think harder it slips even harder. The box halts hard and fast, sending me fast first into the ground.. for a moment I think the cage will finally open, but it doesn’t not for a while.

The top of the cage opens and the bright rays of sun hit my eyes.. My name is yuckles.. fucking yuckles? Really thanks mom for that one. Ugh I push myself up and someone jumps into the box.

Someone with a split dye of blonde and Brown hair appears in front of me.. “Day one greenie.”

I push myself trying to adjust to the sun's heat, the people around me are trying to help pull me up and out of the box, I look around for a minute and feel lost. This is not my home, I shifted to look at the looming stone walls before- Someone grabbed my shoulder, “hello greenie!” 

I nod towards them, “I feel it’s best if you come meet Alexa and Reggie before we do anything!” 

Who is this, who are the names. I’m so confused. “What’s your name?”

They turn to smile at me, “Names Bloo! I’m the keeper of the builders!” 

They look at me as if they're asking a question, “you want my name?”

They nod excitedly.

“Yuckles… at least I think?” It felt foreign coming off my tongue.

“Yuckles? Well alright shank! Let’s get you too Alexa so you can deal with that whole mess! Mess hall won’t fix itself!” Bloo smiles pushing me towards a shed

“Alexa! Reg! New greenie coming in!”

Two voices shout back in unison, “Let em in!” Bloo opens the door letting me in before it hits me in the back as they run away yelling “good luck!” As they go.

Alexa and Reggie told me they were the leaders and what I needed to know and what I didn’t need to question, I guess they could tell from my eyes I was curious.

“We’ll leave you with last months greenie Andrea”

I looked at them with confusion, they act as if I’m supposed to know who that is..

They seemed to get the memo, “go to the gardening area. You’ll see someone with bright pink hair, their name is remi.. they’ll be able to help you to remi.”

I nodded, asking one last question before I got to the door, “where are the gardens?” Alexa I believe follows me out and starts me off in the direction of the gardens. 

“I must be going now,” I nod as she talks, “See remi over there?” I look at the pinkette with a purple ribbon holding back their hair.

“Remi!” Alexa shouts from beside me

Remi looks up from the crops and raises her body to stand, you can see a younger person who was copying her movements, “Alexa! Hey!”

She shifts her eyes to me and then whispers to the person next to her then runs over to where we are.

“Hiya greenie! I’m remi” she mimics as if she was tipping a hat.

“Rem, this greenie is stuck with you until the doors shut.” Alexa pushes me forward towards remi before the turn around

“You got it boss!” Alexa starts walking in the opposite direction, remi wraps her arm around my shoulder

“I guess I basically have two greenies under my ranks!” Remi smiles as we walk back to the gardens

“Remi who’s this?” The person who was crouched down now standing with curious eyes.

“This is our new greenie but don’t you worry Andrea! You’ll still be called greenie.” Andrea sighs in defeat before smiles 

“I’m Andrea! I now have the privilege of calling someone greenie, so when you do remember your name I’m going to call you greenie anyway” Remi snickers lightly next to me.

“Just out of curiosity greenie what is your name?” Remi smiles as we walk toward the crops

“Yuckles I think? It doesn’t sound like a real name but it’s all I can remember.”

Remi smiles “whatever works, works. Is it cool if I call you, Yuck? Yuckles is too long.”

I nod before Andrea shouts out in laughter, “YOUR NAME IS YUCKLES OH MY GOD THAT IS SO FUNNY.”

They continue laughing until they see Remi’s glare. Remi is a bit smaller than Andrea and Significantly smaller than me, yet I would not fuck with her.

“I’ll be leaving the gardens a bit early today, so you will be with Andrea from dinner to sun down. They'll run through everything.” She smiles sweetly at me. Andrea nods their head.

Remi starts teaching me the basics of a gardener, constantly apologizing for the fact that I have to start as a gardener. They know everyone hates the job.

Eventually after enough remi gets up, “alright Kofi and Sky are back. I got to go, Andrea, be nice.”

Andrea smiles and shouts as Remi leaves, “No promises!”

I keep an eye on Remi as they walk over to a Tall strong and built black man wearing baggy clothes with a satchel across his shoulders and a shorter raven haired with a red hat with a notebook and a pale complexion smiling at Remi as she walks up to them both giving her a hug. 

They walk to a wooden structure before someone yells out. “DINNER FOR WORKING GLADERS! LETS GO!” The voice seems as far away as you can be in this area

“Okay come on greenie let’s go get dinner.”

We both walk to the mess hall, they guide me through the line. They smile at the people saying hello. They led me to sit down the the person who pulled me out of the box, another guy similar to the guy remi had run up to but significantly less built, and someone else with a brown curly hair and a black mask covering their face.

“Guys this is the new greenie!” They yelled as they sat down at the table pulling me along.

“Hello again Greenie!” The person with the split dye says to me as I place my plate down, after explaining and giving names of everyone at the table They then turn to Andrea, “Will Kofi,Sky and Remi be here soon?” Bright shrugs, “It’s always a toss up with them, I heard they’re mapping everything while Sky interrogates Remi about how they’re feeling. 

The mess hall door opens with laughter, The boy named Matt speaks “Speak of the devil. Hey Guys!”  Remi and Kofi come in and sit down, Sky walks to the food line grabbing three plates, I assume for themself and the other two. “Sky and Drell are probably gonna be a minute they haven't seen each other all day.” I pipe up, “Who’s drell”

“Sky’s sibling.”

[jeserai]

from my ko-fi requests / even more vampire catra au

Lit by the full moon, Catra seems almost unearthly, a wraith lit in the pale silvery light. She reaches out a hand, caught in half a bow, and Adora takes it with an incredulous laugh that splits into a yelp when Catra yanks her forward and into a waltz. She’s clearly danced before, and Adora is suddenly glad for taking lessons with Bow, because it’s so easy to fall into step together, to let Catra spin them around the room as she hums a bouncing song under her breath.

buy me a kofi!

“Spend a night in the creepy haunted castle, they said,” Adora grumbles to herself, kicking aside a pebble and listening to it skitter off into the darkness, “film it all so we can see, they said...” Adora turns her camera around to face herself, squinting as the light hits her eyes. “Guys, if I die tonight, I’m seriously blaming you. I mean it, I’ll haunt you too.”

Even now, Adora can practically hear Bow’s voice in her ear: well, you didn’t have to accept the dare, you could’ve just taken the punishment—

“And I know I could’ve taken the punishment instead of doing the dare, but after what Mermista made Sea Hawk do...no way.”

Now, Glimmer: hey, at least you’re alone?

As if on cue, she hears the quiet shuffle of something moving too far ahead to see, and Adora stops dead in her tracks. It’s probably just a bug, or a rat, and besides, it’s not like ghosts need to walk, right? Just in case, Adora switches off the light on her camera, eyes straining in the dark to even catch a hint of what had moved.

The seconds drag out as Adora tries to decide whether to continue forward or to make a run for it, and just when she’s ready to turn around and forget the dare altogether, there comes from the dark up ahead a quiet, blessedly human voice that calls out, “Hello? Is—is someone there?”

For a moment, Adora considers not responding and trying to quietly edge backwards, but then, it sounds like a girl, and she definitely sounds scared…

With a sigh, Adora turns her camera’s light back on and takes a few careful steps forward. “Yeah, do you see a light?”

“I’m not coming any closer until you tell me why you’re here.”

Which is fair. “It sounds stupid, but my friends dared me to spend the night here, so…”

The girl, still in the dark, laughs at that. “And you did it?”

“Well, yeah, if you don’t do your initial dare, you have to do a punishment, and the last punishment someone had was to run around the docks naked and singing a sea shanty, so…”

“A sea shanty?”

“My friends are very weird,” Adora says, “but his nickname is Sea Hawk, so it’s not surprising that he actually knew sea shanties off the top of his head.”

The girl laughs and Adora feels a smile slip onto her face in response; and with a voice that even sounds like fondly rolling eyes, the girl says, "Okay, fine, you sound normal enough."

And then, more quiet footsteps, and—she steps into the light. And despite the way she's squinting in the dim glow of Adora's camera, despite the smear of dirt across her cheek, despite even the cold stone surrounding them, she is beautiful.

"You're recording?" Does she sound annoyed? She definitely sounds annoyed.

"Oh—yeah, sorry. I can delete the footage later if you want, it was just part of my dare, to make sure I actually do it or whatever." Adora swings the camera back around towards herself and gives the viewfinder a middle finger, relishing the way it makes the girl laugh again.

"It's fine, I just don't really like being on camera. But anyway...what's your name, mystery girl?"

"Adora."

"Pretty name for a pretty girl. I'm Catra," the girl—Catra—says, and then, as she sidles up just behind Adora and places a fever-hot hand on hers to turn the camera back to face them, "and I hope your friends know that it's very rude to film people without their permission."

The words are chastising, but Catra is so close and so warm that Adora barely hears them. "Uh—yeah. I can turn it off and...I guess turn it back on in the morning?"

Another pretty laugh. If Catra were to tip forward just a bit she'd be leaning full against Adora. Unfortunately, she steps back and Adora pivots to face her as if led on a string. "It's your choice, Adora."

“What about the light? How will we be able to see?”

Catra shrugs, reaches out to touch the camera again. “Well, do you trust me?”

And she shouldn’t; Catra is a stranger in a strange place, and to throw them into the dark could very well mean the end of them both, but— “I don’t know why, but I kind of do.”

Catra smiles, wide and beautiful and giddy, and presses the button to turn Adora’s camera off. And the world goes dark. Adora fumbles for Catra’s hand, touches her arm, holds on tight, even when Catra laughs and breaks away—because it’s just to fix her position so she can twine their fingers together.

“Just wait a bit, okay? Your eyes will adjust.”

And slowly, they do. It’s not much, but soon Adora is able to differentiate pitch-black from dark-gray and regular black, and she can see the faint outline of Catra, so very close. “So, you come here often?”

Catra laughs again and Adora can almost see her shaking her head. “What can I say, it’s kind of peaceful, in a weird way. I stumbled across this castle ages ago when I was in a really bad place, and...I’m in a much better place now, but it still centers me, to be here alone in the dark, if that makes sense.”

And...maybe to anyone else, it wouldn't, but to Adora, “Yeah, it does. I like to be squished when I’m overwhelmed. Either in between things or beneath something...I’m like the opposite of claustrophobic, I love being trapped in the tight, small spaces.”

Catra hums and gently, slowly begins to pull Adora deep into the castle. “Hey, if I like to hang out in creepy dark castles, I can’t judge you for liking being squished. Where do you go for that?”

“My attic, usually. Old boxes and whatnot.”

“Cute,” Catra huffs out a little laugh, and then, just as Adora’s eyes are really beginning to get used to the dark, they round a corner and enter a room that is not so much a room as it is a floor and massive columns reaching towards empty sky. “This used to be the ballroom, I think,” Catra finally lets go of Adora’s hand to step forwards and do a little twirl, “it seems it.”

Lit by the full moon, Catra seems almost unearthly, a wraith lit in the pale silvery light. She reaches out a hand, caught in half a bow, and Adora takes it with an incredulous laugh that splits into a yelp when Catra yanks her forward and into a waltz. She’s clearly danced before, and Adora is suddenly glad for taking lessons with Bow, because it’s so easy to fall into step together, to let Catra spin them around the room as she hums a bouncing song under her breath. When she dips Adora, it is deep, and Adora hooks her leg around Catra’s to keep her balance, ignoring the delighted curve of Catra’s lips.

When she lets Adora back up, Catra’s brows are raised and her eyes, gem-bright blue and gold, are practically luminescent. “You’re certainly full of surprises!”

“What can I say, I’m a girl with charm—my friend and I took dance classes a few years ago. I’m pretty rusty, but I didn’t step on your toes, at least.”

“You were brilliant,” Catra compliments, and they’d just done simple steps, but Adora still flushes pink at the praise.

“What else is there?”

If she’s disappointed, Catra doesn’t show it, just nods and sweeps an arm out towards the door they’ve danced up to. “It gets dark again, okay?”

But the dark is just about familiar by now, and Adora no longer needs Catra to steer her around fallen debris. They reach a huge stone staircase, perhaps left untrod in hundreds of years but for them, and Adora climbs with Catra at her side, their arms hooked together now. Catra is humming that same song again.

“What song is that?”

Catra starts, glances sidelong at Adora, and shakes her head. “Just something I made up ages ago.”

“I rather like it.”

Catra laughs again, a pleased, lilting sound, and directs Adora into one of the rooms. The old wooden door has long since rotted away but the room just beyond somehow remains untouched by time, but for the faint layer of dust that has settled over everything. There are footprints scattered across the room—Catra’s, most likely—and Adora almost feels like they aren’t supposed to be here.

But Catra steps forward and into the bedroom without a second thought, so Adora follows her. “Welcome to my room,” she says a bit dryly.

Adora appraises it: the four-poster bed with heavy blankets perfectly made, the bookshelf full of ancient books, the desk with a blank sheet of paper next to a quill and a dried up ink bottle. The closet further in—that when she opens, reveals heavy dresses and still-shiny shoes—and the empty basin that perhaps housed water to wash in, once upon a time. It is simple, but she can imagine it in a different time, with a girl that went to balls and wore fancy gowns and sealed her letters with a wax seal, and Adora likes it.

“I like it, but how...how is it like this?”

Catra has strode over to the fireplace and now squats in front of it, hands held out to be warmed by a non-existent flame. “There are legends,” she starts slowly, “that some things...stay like this, just outside the reach of time.”

“But why?”

Catra shrugs, stands, spins on her heel to face Adora. Again, she looks like some kind of phantom, and Adora involuntarily takes a step back. “It’s what I was interested in when I came here. Why just this room, what made it like this, were there other places like it. And I haven’t really come to a clear conclusion, but...I think it’s magic. I think it’s the presence of something supernatural, something with such a tie to the place—to this room, for example—that they...fuse somehow, become immortal together.”

“So...like a pocket dimension?”

Catra considers this and shrugs again. “I suppose. What I’m most curious about is why it only affects one room out of this whole place.”

“And why no one else has found it.”

At that, Catra’s brows jerk up in clear surprise, and this time it’s Adora’s turn to shrug. “There’s no graffiti, no litter, nothing. Just our—and your—footprints.”

Catra nods slowly, a pleased little grin quirking the corners of her lips up. “Just us,” she repeats.

And suddenly, Adora is very very aware that it is just them, far off in the middle of nowhere. She then realizes that she’s dropped her camera somewhere, that it really is just them. Her throat dries up as Catra takes a slow, measured step towards her, and then another. Her eyes are still bright with some kind of secret, and they shine when she passes the window still somehow set with glass, and—

“Catra...where are you from?”

Catra does not even falter. “Here.”

And the pieces are falling into place now, and despite the mounting dread, Adora cannot bring herself to move, not even an inch. “Okay, let me—” deep breath in, deep breath out. “When are you from?”

Now Catra pauses. As she cocks her head to the side, a bewildered expression written across her face, Adora wonders if maybe she got it wrong, wonders if Catra is going to laugh. But the other girl just shakes her head and pouts a little, and Adora curses herself for the fact that she thinks the action is still somehow adorable. “What gave it away?”

“Your eyes...they glow. Normal human eyes do not glow.”

Catra nods and steps back into the light, eyes closed. This time, when they open, they are normal, and she is smiling. “Like this?”

“Well, yes, but that’s not—Catra.” Said girl gives Adora a wounded look, which Adora completely ignores. “What are you?”

Catra somehow has the audacity to wink. “I think you already know the answer to that one, don’t you?”

And Adora does. But breathing that word aloud, letting it rest in the air between them, acknowledging what she knew from perhaps the very beginning...it would make this all real. “I—you’re...god. Just open your mouth.”

With another slow wink, Catra obliges. This time, instead of dull human teeth, she suddenly has a mouth full of fangs, razor sharp and dangerous. But still somehow beautiful. She should be scared, Adora knows she should be scared, but as her breath leaves her all at once, she realizes that somehow, all she feels is awe.

“You’re the reason the room is like this, aren’t you?”

Catra’s mouth snaps shut and she pouts a little, seemingly disappointed that Adora didn’t, what, run away screaming? “Yeah…aren’t you scared? Even a tiny bit?”

“I think I’d be more scared if I didn’t already know what a huge dork you are. But can you—can you show me them again?”

Obediently, Catra opens her mouth, and keeps it open still when Adora comes close, cradling her cheek with one hand. With just the tip of her index finger on her free hand, she traces the points of Catra’s fangs: the four baby fangs, like a traditional vampire’s, and the four just next to them, larger and even more vicious. She knows she’s playing with fire, but Adora slowly increases pressure until her fingertip blooms with a bead of blood, and she watches with amusement as Catra’s eyes widen.

But before the other girl—the vampire—can get any ideas, Adora withdraws her hands from Catra’s face and steps back, her heart dancing a foxtrot in her chest. “I—will you let me leave?”

“Will you tell anyone about me?”

Honestly, Adora hadn’t even thought of that. “No, I just...think I should go for now. In case…” Adora glances down at the streak of red on her finger, then back up at Catra, who is watching her curiously.

“You’ll go,” Catra repeats, “for now.” She doesn’t phrase it like one, but it’s a question, clear as day.

“If you’ll have me again, I’d...I like to come back.” At the disbelieving arch of Catra’s brow, Adora rushes out, “I want to see you again, if you want to see me again. You could...tell me about your old life, I don’t know.

At that, Catra’s serious expression breaks and she begins to laugh. “God, Adora, you’re such an idiot—”

“But can I come back?”

In a tone that very much suggests that she doesn’t believe that Adora ever will, Catra says, “Sure, you can come back.”

(And the very next night, Adora does.)