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cant-get-no-worse · 2 years ago

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i am always very intrigued by the neymessi relationship. thoughts on them?

Hiya people! I'm currently having a good chuckle because as I read your asks, I see mutuals celebrating the neymessi overtaking cressi on ao3 party. Uncanny. World colllides. Anyways. Imma rant now, you just gave me free real estate!

Disclaimer : this isn't me parasocially psychoanalizing the friendship of two grown ass men I've never seen nor talked to, this is just me covering bases of funny thoughts me n some friends have been entertaining about it. It's senseless ramble and fun and I gotta make profit off of those hours I spend looking at them interact aight.

First of, whatever I could say about it, in the end, everything condenses into this, really: it's a beautiful human bound. Akin to those unlikely friendships brought together by football — kinda makes you think this god wrenched sport isn't so wasted after all. Then you see Harry Kane's face, and you deflate, but that's a whole otha thang (sorry Kane mutuals) (the bloke is coming to PSG anyways).

It's all the more fascinating as we partially saw it develop in real life, and its 'public' aspect is well documented, from the tweets of Neymar all the way back in 2011 fan girling over Messi when they hadn't even met, to the countless footage of games, backstages, documentaries, interviews, little snippets here and there. Let's go over some aspects in an orderly manner.

Similarities between Neymar and other dudes

You can kind of wonder how Leo, introverted as he is, could have ended up entertaining a decade-long friendship (spent apart for four whole years) with such guy as Neymar, a whole five years his junior. And then you look at Leo’s other myriad of friends over the course of the years: Ronaldinho, the whole Brazilian squad of Barcelona who took him under their wing because they liked him, Kun Agüero, Rodrigo De Paul and Leandro Paredes. All extroverted, a bit immature/impulsive, loudmouthed, joyful dudes, and then you realize the guy just has a knack for befriending such people. It just compliments his character. (I’m not adding Luis Suarez to the bunch cause while Luis is impulsive, loudmouthed, extroverted, joyful, he is also a whole other vibe, much more settled/mature, it’s a whole other thing. Could rant about it for hours too. That Messi/Suarez friendship is so genuine, easy, weird, and amazing).

What’s the diff with Suarez

So talking about Suarez, I think the best way to start discerning a relationship is to oppose it to others. The easiest way being here opposing the Messi/Suarez and Neymar/Suarez to the Neymar/Messi. They’re all friends, but the duos don’t work the same way, and it’s obvious. Messi/Suarez are besties, they share the same age, interests, mate, families, whatever. Messi brought him on his honeymoon. Like what the actual fuck. Anyways. Suarez/Neymar reads more like a friend/brothers relationship, were they liked to mess around, fuck around and make fun of each other. You’d think since Suarez and Messi are rigorously the same age, Messi and Neymar’d have a similar relationship. But na. You just can’t look at it and state Messi/Neymar relationship is only brother like. They are brothers, but not only. There’s a shit ton of layers, due to the circumstances of their meeting, their career trajectories, what they represent, for their countries as for football, the roles they had to assume towards each other at FCB in the beginning, but also due to their characters. So what’s the layers?

Childhood/idol

The whole « child gets to play alongside the idol he used to watch on TV » boat has been sailed already by a ton of other players from all leagues, it’s one of the joys of this sport. It’s very sweet, to see how much Neymar used to hop on Twitter to unabashedly fanboy alongside other people over a Messi performance or to even just wish him a very enthused happy birthday (the proofs are there and he hasn’t even deleted them lmfao, the boy was relentless). What I like about it, however, is how little that behavior faltered over the course of the years. Younger players generally tone down the whole idolizing stuff, whether because they’re disillusioned about it (don’t meet your heroes, eh), because they’re just getting used to it, because it’d be awkward, they reserve it when they’re asked about it, in shorter commentaries. Neymar didn’t. Quite the contrary; it’s like playing with Messi only heightened his esteem for the other’s abilities, and to this admiration of the professional side, a personal layer of first-hand appreciation, by becoming a teammate and a friend, was added. Ten years later, placing a bet on Neymar name-dropping Messi on his interviews remains the safest money gambling you’ll do in your life, alongside betting on Pep doing the same (Pep’s odds are admittedly a bit higher, but the man is just batshit insane.) How little Neymar cares about how his admiration is perceived by others or by Leo himself, how unabashedly awed and praiseful he remained of Leo’s skills. Leo himself said he found it a bit embarrassing at times, because Neymar would say it to his face, but at the end of the day, it was just flattering and endearing to receive compliments from a friend and a fellow good player. That side of their relationship could have become, as some put it, embarrassing or awkward, a star-struck teammate who never grew out of it, but because of the sheer sincere nature of both their character (albeit a transparency showing through different ways, Neymar’s being the most flashy) – a trait that seemed to have been key in the establishment of their friendship – they managed to make it simply impossible for it to be embarrassing. They’re completely candid with the other about that, have been since day one, and the result is one of the healthiest child-turned-teammate-of-idol relationship you’ll get to witness. It’s utterly touching, and extremely human.

Brazil/Arg superstars & Countries rivalry

The other obvious aspect is the whole Brazil/Argentina dichotomy. This one is the thing that get a lot of imagination fuming on the internet due to the cinematic parallels/star crossed/movie-like narratives you can appose and romanticize. Barring every other consideration, I just think it’s so fitting it’s almost laughable. The resemblances in career path – two players from arguably the two countries the most insane about football and with the greatest football legacy, star boys turned 10 and figures of their respective selections, compared to an early age to the two ever looming figures of Maradona and Pelé (although Messi probably in a more glaring way, with Maradona himself stating outright the succession thing and Neymar’s comparisons being split between Pelé and Ronaldinho’s profiles). Their friendship threw a bridge over that eternal rivalry, bridge that became all the more obvious the more years passed and the more they became the centralizing figures for their NT and faced each other on the fields. The two teams trash each other on the ground, but respect prevail between players – not just Neymar and Leo, btw, that goes for seemingly every player, given that a lot of them crosses paths with each other at club level. In any case, I believe that mutual respect condenses itself in the 10’s relationship. The video of Leo refusing to engage in a song mocking Brazil (2023 Arg-Panama WC celebration) (keeping in mind trash-singing culture is widespread in Latin America, much more so than Europe; singing such songs isn’t necessarily personal, it’s just… tradition, and especially when you’re Brazil and Argentina and you just beat the other) and in another instance (after the 2021 Copa America) actively discouraging teammates to drop the subject tells you everything you need to know about the amount of care/respect the both of them hold each other to.

Mentor

There’s the whole mentoring role to it, too. When Neymar arrived in 2013 in the team, Leo had established himself already. Puyol, Xavi, Iniesta, all remained the older mentors of the team, but in term of talent and path, it kind of became obvious that Neymar could become Leo’s protegee the same way Leo was Dinho’s. The first steps were hesitants, as we all know, what with Neymar needing time to fit in a whole new league and continent, the infamous locker room chat, but after a year or so the ball got rolling (ha-ha). Imo, eventually (perhaps not in the first years, but from 2015/2016, at least after the 2014 WC) Leo seemed to have fully settled/grew into this kind of mentor-mentality and wanted to help Neymar get his BO and stuff. That’s partly why the 2017 departure could have left a bitterness aftertaste or at least a feeling of failure to have completely achieved what Dinho did on his part. See how eager he was to help Ousmane when Dembélé arrived.

Complementary play and MSN balance

On the football side, I mean. Not much to say. They’re probably the two guys with the biggest reserve of pure, raw talent of the 21st century (I mean from 2000 til 2023, as far as we know). It’s ridiculous how those two guys ended up playing together. At 20 years old, people were asking if Messi was one of the greatest players of all time, and at 21 years old, Ronaldinho said that Neymar would surpass Messi. Talent doesn’t necessarily equal chemistry on field, tho (cough side glance at you know where cough), yet they made it work, thanks to Luis who provided the final balance for it all. Funnily enough, people always praise MSN as being completely devoid of ego, as if they’re some kind of saints individually, but that’s not true. They have some ego, they’re just good dudes. Ego isn’t a bad personality trait. Most top athletes have it, it pushes you. Those guys just knew where to place it, how to handle it, and they were just too good of persons individually, and too good friends mutually. They were selfless with each other, and it was so damn refreshing to see, and it's something that perpetuates still at PSG.

Physical proximity/chemistry

Do you hear that? That’s the horde of Ao3 writers barreling towards, foam at their mouth and keyboards at their fingers, wide eyed. Quick, shut the door. Oh wait, I’m one of them. YOU’RE TRAPPED. HAHA.

Na, about that, it’s just of those things that happen. Their chemistry and instinct to touch is obvious, if the hundredths of pictures and compils with Ariana Grande screaming Save Your Tears in the background wasn’t enough to pass the hint. But honestly, there’s nothing more to see here. Some players get more physical than others, just because. Some people get more physical than others, just because. That’s chemistry. Football, like all sports, take you from the lowest point just to lift you up with an adrenaline rush the very next minute. Unlike other sports, however, it’s a team sport, so you play, you work through it, you win, you celebrate not alone, but with other people. Much more so when you’re working as a unit, like Neymar and Messi were with Suarez as the forwards, tuning to each other’s mind/bodies to get the chemistry running and the goals flowing.

Seeing them together uncannily reminded me of one of my own relationship with someone in my entourage. We disliked each other, and then kind of overnight, unexpectedly, became friends, and started touching each other. There wasn’t anything sexual about it, it was innocent in all forms, but there was just this instinctive, mindless move of putting arms around each other’s shoulders, holding hands, or whatever. There was genuinely nothing to see here, it’s just the way our friendship/relationship worked. It’s an intrinsic part of it, a constant. Touching holds more than a thousand words. You can imagine how such a medium of communication is exalted through sports, where physicality is everywhere and the first language everyone speaks.

Whether in 2015 or 2022, take any video, they’re always going to be jumping to each other. There’s some degrees of variation; sometimes, most times, it’s to celebrate, it’s euphoric and lively and flying about, others it’s a touch on the shoulder, the hair, the waist. Whether as a teammate checking on the other because of an injury (generally it was due to Neymar being bodied by opposition players), diffusing a situation (Neymar getting worked up over another player), as friends gossiping, as opposite players (Leo asking for a yellow on Ney and then both touching to level the situation), a hug or touch on the thigh (2015 UCL celebration), a gentle touch on a knee during training for no other reason than it’s a natural instinct and it’s an relationship in which it’s normal, whatever. Sometimes they hug to celebrate, sometimes it’s loaded (see 2021 CA final). I can’t explain it, just browse about and you’ll see plenty. It’s also the eyes — Neymar can be caught looking unabashedly at Leo with the same adoration as a kid. His platonic passion is just one of a kind. Leo will be found staring amused, tender or just lost in thought. It’s endearing. The eyes, chico. Once again; it just works.

There’s not much to see or read here, it’s just because it is. Marco Verratti doesn’t have a relationship as personal with them as they do and yet the fucker will always find a way to touch them thighs or shoulders – because some people are just physical like that. Also because he’s an Italian hooker. But that’s a whole other story. Ramos and Modric have insane chemistry in the same way. A handful of teammates pairs have that kind of thing going.

They also don’t convey it like the other people they’re physically close to. You just watch Messi and Suarez interact and touch (and they do! A lot!) and it’s not the same as when Neymar and Messi do. Messi and Agüero, Messi and Piqué (cough), Messi and Pedri, Neymar and Mbappé, Neymar and Dani Alves, Neymar and the whole fucking world cause he’s that touchy mf. Each one of these ways of touching tell the depths and subtleties of the relationship lying behind, you could ramble hours about two people like I’m doing but at the end of the day you just look at how the both of them touch and look, and you get it. (i direct you to cara's blog!)

It works for them, as it works for lots of human beings. We touch to convey stuff. They lived through tough and euphoric times with their club, had the weight of the two arguably most prestigious football selections on their shoulders, went through boring training sessions, flights, team drama, tax evasion stuff (cue laughter), they’ve been evolving in the same world of money, public and fast-paced life for years. Add to that the personal relationship - friends, teammates, mentors, opposites, etc. They’re on a common understanding ground. They touch. That’s the wordless language.

Extrovert/introvert

The extrovert introvert thing, blabla. It’s just endlessly entertaining to see them interact because it seems like a stark contrast on paper, but in reality, they kinda even each other out. Neymar is his usual outgoing, ray of sunshine (Galtier’s words, not mine), fidgeting, energy-filled dude, and Leo’s calm, dealing with his shit on his own terms, perfectly okay with not talking, but also perfectly okay with gossiping and joking about. That’s one of the most underrated aspects to their friendship, imo. It just seems, from 2013 to now, that they just have tremendous fun being around each other. It’s not the same kind of energetic, very showy-pranksty-physically fun you can see Neymar have with other Brazilians or Suarez or Mbappé etc, because of Leo’s character, it happens in a different way (the energies match differently). Whether at Barca, on an international pitch or at PSG, each time they are seen being around each other, you just know there’s gonna be a picture of them cracking up over dumb shit. Every time. Clockwork. It’s kinda amazing lmfao.

The 2017 – 2021 era

Now you’d think they’d be close during their days at FCB because of circumstances; you have a coworker, you surprisingly get along fine, you become friends, then one of you leave works, and slowly but surely the relationship or wish to reunite get fainter and fainter. It’s just something we experience a lot, and it’s also something you see in football a lot due to transfers (cue that tumblr post about a player transfering is like selling your child). Players become friends, friendships get severed because of space and time and the impossible schedule. The thing with Ney and Leo is that all throughout 2017 – 2021, they not only seemed to have maintained a friendship, but above all a fierce wish to play with each other again. Multiple accounts from that period of time say Leo reportedly asked for Neymar to be brought back by the board each time they asked which improvements/suggestions the players (and esp Leo, given his influence at FCB) would give. Neymar stated multiple times and publicly (in a typical Neymar fashion) that he wanted to play with Leo again. It’s like they’d found the perfect partnership, on and off the pitch, and they were both wanting it again.

The Barça to PSG transition

Now the PSG era!! It's quite fascinating, for you could consider the dynamics to have been inversed: Leo was the one arriving, Neymar was the experienced one on these grounds. There’s no football mentorship going on, for Neymar didn't have to teach Leo how to play, Leo having enough experience to just about integrate himself anywhere, but there is the mentorship in adapting, if you will – to a new league, new country, new teammates. Similarities in situation plastered everywhere, eight years later. You can kind of see why it can be easy to go mad at how this entire relationship do seem like a written story filled with parallels cause the author is so keen on it.

In the first year, Leo was seen hanging with the Latam - Neymar, Paredes, Di Maria, Icardi etc - (and Marco Verratti, cause the short fucker is just likeable like that) to the point where there really seemed to be "clans" within the locker rooms. I don't think it's necessarily true, rather it was just a bunch of close friends (two of which he'd just won the Copa América with) and shameless admirers of him who were all too eager to help him adapt, esp given Leo's character - he just isn't one to take the first step towards others, normally, even less so in a foreign country/club where locker rooms dynamics are already up and going. I don't remember which PSG ex player said he was quiet in his corner and didn't make no waves. Then after Di Maria and Paredes' departure, it seems Neymar really took on that role.

See the videos of training or games from 2021 – 2023, a rough 80% of the time they remain glued to each other, with others tagging along (Verratti esp). They do the exercises together, they warm up alongside, they go in and out of the pitch talking, they wait talking (see : the Riyadh XI game). The difference with FCB times are quite stark: in Barça they would have other friends to be around to here and there - Suarez, Busquets, Alba, Piqué, Alves - while it seems at PSG they're revolving around each other. Not that Neymar doesn't have friends; he's befriended the whole locker room, but he did once slip in whatever interview that Paris had never managed to be really home. It's nothing dramatic, but an interesting insight. Leo on the other hand is perhaps not very interested in entertaining personal relationships with the other players outside of professionalism – once again Verratti seems to be an exception, they stick a lot together esp since Neymar’s injury —, so it’s just natural. So it was about falling back/gravitating around the most familiar thing you could find, made all the more obvious after the Di Maria/Paredes departure. They know each other, it’s a relationship of transparency and trust (as aforementioned) and fun, and they'd always wanted to play with each other again. At that point, it's not a new friendship where they just know each other for two years on surface, are unsure about each other, or prompt to unstability or smth. They've been friends for a decade. They've been through very emotional moments in club and in nation (2021 CA Final), it's not just being coworkers. Old habits die hard, etc. Imo the core of the relationship didn't change, but the setting and circumstances did add closeness to them - Leo is just fine/most comfortable being with Neymar and Verratti mostly, and the two are too happy to oblige because they love him. Makes for a wonderful midget trio, of which we unfortunately didn't get enough.

Conclusion

I like it. As you could probably guess from the Bible-length commentary I just pumped out. It’s just refreshing to see a relationship as genuine as these two, seemingly coming out of the blue, that somehow continued through time and space separation. The absurd resilience of such bound makes it seems so effortless for them to be friends, due to the fundamentally good/true nature of their respective characters, and I treasure it dearly, even more so after having followed/seen other friendships from different players be broken up over shit. It’s a caring, genuine, trusting, tender, fun, complicit relationship, and one I think will go on beyond the end of their football careers – in other forms.

#anon ask #ciene talks a lot about useless stuff #neymar #messi

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spelllingandthemysteryschool · 2 years ago

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hi yaz 🍊 (<-for u) right now im going through that awkward friendless period of my life and have been for a while. i've been following you for a long time and wondered if you had any words of wisdom for those of us in the thick of it. thank you ❣️

(p.s - from what we see online you've seemed really well lately, and its genuinely very encouraging. thanks 4 spreading the joy)

hi! so sorry for letting this ask sit there for a bit... i wanted to make sure i could answer it thoughtfully! 🌟 i ended up writing more than i expected so i apologize if this comes across as a bit wordy.

first of all, thank you so much! it really means a lot to me to hear this... i am literally just Random Girl Online so i’m truly honored & i think you’re incredibly sweet to say so 😭💝

secondly, i’m sorry you’re feeling this way! it’s a miserable place to be emotionally & difficult to talk about... but i promise promise promise you will not feel this way forever. i was so lonely it hurt for a very long time, i guess if you’ve followed me for a while you probably remember. like it was PAINFUL how unpeopled my life was, and i was really embarrassed by it too because no one else seemed to be going through it quite so badly. but honestly, i think... most people actively are or once were lonelier than they are willing to admit, so it’s not an experience that’s awkward at all, and not something indicative of there being anything wrong with you specifically (which is all too easy a conclusion to come to), and it is definitely, DEFINITELY is not going to be this bad always. there are so many lovely people in this world who are just on the cusp of entering your life without your even realizing it yet... at one point last year i took a second to look around me & it suddenly occurred to me that things had gotten so much better for me in a way i genuinely never imagined during the worst of my loneliness, that completely unexpectedly i had come to know a good number of people i liked and cared about.

mostly all i can encourage you to do is to be around people in whatever way u can even if you don’t currently have a circle of friends to turn to. if your school or a local museum or a similar institution is holding some kind of lecture, attend it even if u don’t know anyone else who’s going! you might strike up a conversation with a stranger u unexpectedly get along with and make plans to get to know each other better, or you might just get to lightly chat with a lot of people who u never see again. both of these things are nice in different ways. if your workplace is holding a little potluck for someone’s birthday, go even if it’s just for the sake of having cake and cooing over photos of your coworker’s new puppy. text friends who live in the area who u haven’t seen in years, spend the afternoon at the park together & see if you want to make room in each other’s lives for these new versions of yourselves you’ve grown into. sign up for art classes where u can struggle through something you’re unfamiliar with alongside others who are struggling through it the same way & bond over this for a few hours each week. be the first person to text in a groupchat of people u only sort of know. tag along to study with someone from your class at the library & see if it becomes a regular thing with other people from the same class. maybe you won’t befriend all the people you go out of your way to interact with, but chances are you can and will befriend a few of them! and even if it doesn’t end up working out, a little camaraderie goes a long way in pulling a person out of the pits of despair.

if literally none of the above is an option for u in any way whatsoever right now, just try your best to keep going anyway. which sounds stupid probably, i’m sorry; i would have been CRAZY irritated if anyone told me this when i was so lonely i could hardly think about anything else. but i read a lot of poetry, i played a lot of video games, i watched a lot of movies, i spent so much time out of doors watching the birds and trees, i talked to my relatives more than ever before, i messaged some mutuals so often they turned into genuine online friendships that meant the world to me then and mean the world to me still. it hurt that i didn’t have people to share any of this with the way i wanted to but i still experienced a lot of really nice moments when i was alone & in some ways i feel more equipped to deal with loneliness after living through so much of it because i know now that i’m capable of enjoying things even in the throes of isolation. resilience isn’t sustainable and i sincerely hope you don’t need to be resilient about this for much longer, but your life is not on hold, and if u just keep going i believe you will still experience lots of meaningful and good things until your social life starts to pick up, at which point u will experience lots of other meaningful and good things!

also i guess i already mentioned this and definitely feel free to ignore this bit if it doesn’t apply to you, but be careful not to fall into the trap of thinking this is somehow your fault or because there is something inherently off-putting about you! this is absolutely not the case… not having enough or even any friends is just something that happens sometimes. it’s a much more common experience than it feels like & there is nothing wrong with you! believing this and giving in to the shame will cause you undue pain and isolate you further when people reach out or enter your life if you feel you aren’t deserving of friendship because whatever shape your insecurities happen to take. so just... try and be kind to yourself. this is something i struggled with a lot & that’s why i bring it up, but again, you can totally disregard it if it doesn’t align with your own experiences.

i guess that’s all for now! i don’t think i’m saying anything new, so i don’t know how helpful any of this was. i mostly just hope it wasn’t pedantic! i was trying to think of things that genuinely worked for me or things i would like to tell me of a couple years ago if i could speak to her somehow, and i ended up writing a lot because this is a topic that means a lot to me. basically i just mean to say u will be okay! with time and effort and a little bit of luck you will be okay & you will find yourself surrounded by the nicest friends and acquaintances who genuinely really like you and who you genuinely really like in return. loneliness is just something that comes and goes... sometimes it is a little harder and more painful to get through than other times but it never lasts forever. i hope you take care of yourself & i hope it all starts to work out really well, really soon ❣️ love u

#oh it also occurs to me that i have a lot of readings about this sort of thing by people a lot more eloquent than me...#so let me know if you’d like me to compile those or anything like that!#asks

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okayto · 1 year ago

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Mini-Review: The Disastrous Life of Saiki K

Kusuo Saiki is a psychic. And a telepath. And a telekinetic. You know what, just assume that any psychic power you've ever heard of is available to him. But apart from that, he's a regular grumpy sixteen-year-old boy who just wants to be left alone to enjoy his coffee jelly. Unfortunately for him, that's not likely to happen – with the school's hottest girl crushing on him, friends who either can see ghosts, think they're superpowered, or are too dumb to live, and parents who can't quite keep it together, Saiki's life is anything but calm as he finds himself using his powers to keep the world functioning.

The first time I watched Saiki K was several years ago, before I was even logging all my viewing via these reviews. I was just getting back into anime, after a combination of first college busyness and then a soul-sucking job saw the time and energy I had for fun things dwindle. After a couple years at a new job, I realized that I was doing a lot of work that left one of my monitors open, and that no one was nearby to care, so I pulled up Netflix and was immediately distracted by a pink-haired cartoon boy.

Saiki is a comedic mashup of school and shounen tropes, and keeps its tongue firmly in cheek as it follows Kusuo Saiki (Saiki being the family name and what most characters call him, as is normal in Japanese culture) as he deadpans and snarks his way through life, just trying to get through high school without getting discovered for the immensely-powerful psychic he is. Unfortunately, a bunch of annoyances (his view)/friends (their view) hang around and hijinks ensue.

This is a series that just wants to be silly. The first episode helpfully explains not just that Saiki is super powerful, but that he has affected the world so things like brightly-colored anime hair are normal (so no one questions his naturally-pink hair), among other things. It's explicitly "anime logic works because we want it to," which was fourth-wall-breakingly hilarious the first time I encountered it. (It's still funny, 3 or 4 watches later.)

Saiki is, of course, the star of the show, reluctant as he may be. His deus ex machina powers mean he can fix pretty much anything, but his desire to hide said powers, as well as a (however-reluctant-he-is-to-admit-it) kind personality lead to involvement in everything from deadly stage magic to Santa Claus impersonation to saving island castaways.

And really, all the guy wants to do is eat coffee jelly, and occasionally watch media or play a game without getting telepathically spoiled for it.

His dry, sarcastically deadpan voice drives the show as he narrates straight to the audience. You often can't tell whether he's speaking to himself/the audience, or to another character, putting him in the position of a narrator unwillingly drawn into the story itself. (Fun game: try and spot how many times Saiki visibly uses his actual voice, based on whether you see his mouth move when he speaks. It's not often!)

(Incidentally, other people on this site have brought up the personality similarities between Saiki and Murderbot of the Murderbot Diaries books. Both protagonists would like to be left alone to their hobbies, both are unwillingly befriended and acquire a group of people they care about and also have to keep rescuing. If you like Murderbot, Saiki is personality-wise a very similar mood.)

The extended cast really makes the series. While there are episodes that focus on just Saiki (Saiki and multiple quests to obtain coffee jelly, Saiki vs. cockroach in his house, etc.), most involve his family (odd), preexisting friends (rock-brained Nendo, fantasy LARPer Kaido), and classmates that attach themselves to their expanding group through the series.

My favorite was a character who showed up in season 2, Mikoto Aiura. She's a fortune-teller and while she doesn't have Saiki's prodigious talents, she could potentially be a threat...or an ally. Truly, one of the most fun things through the series is not just seeing Saiki's reluctance to calling his friends friends starting to wear down, but the two other characters with specialized powers themselves. They give Saiki a way of being known that he doesn't usually get outside his family, and it's fun to see him realize he can enlist others to help on occasion.

Verdict

English Dub? Yes for the first season, and the fourth (6-episode) season, although the latter had a different cast. Both casts are fine, and I can't be entirely sure that my preference for the first season's cast isn't mainly due to the fact that I had more exposure to them, but Jerry Jewell's Saiki is so dry and sarcastic it wins me over. The second dub cast was good in its own right, and the cast did an excellent matching voices. There are several in the second dub that I prefer--Saiki's rock-headed friend Nendo sounded more like a person and less like a cartoon the second go-round, and several female characters were less high-pitched in ways I preferred.

So really: the dubs are great. It's sad that the entire series isn't dubbed, especially because the rapid-fire snark means subtitles sometimes go very quickly.

Visuals: Meh. It's not bad, but no one is going to watch this for the art, and it's often pretty simple.

Worth watching? Oh HECK yes. It's incredibly fun--I have watched this at least three or four times. It's silly and comedic, perfect when you want something lighthearted. Each normal-length episode is also broken up into five minisodes, so it's perfect for when you won't be watching for a long time, or if you get interrupted frequently.

Important to note that despite there being four "seasons," only the first two are normal-length (24 episodes each). The third are two extended-length specials, while the fourth consists of 6 episodes.

Where to watch (USA, as of June 2023): Funimation (season 1 only; sub & dub), Netflix (all), Tubi TV (season 1 only; sub), BR (season 1 only; sub & dub)

Click my “reviews” tag below or search “mini review” on my blog to find more!

#The Disastrous Life of Saiki K #Saiki K no Psi Nan #anime #reviews #recommendation

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kalena-henden · 2 years ago

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I enjoyed the brisk fun of XO Kitty. The theme of this season was Secrets & Lies. While Kitty started out as a truth teller, she quickly was sucked into the web of things that must be hidden. It definitely gave the characters road blocks to overcome and laid the foundation for the series, but I do not want this to be a continuing theme going forward. Kitty’s strength has always been assessing the situation and speaking the truth. There should be room for questioning and doubts to produce personal growth. However, you don’t need to lie in the meantime. I hope all the characters have learned that lesson so we can move on to other things.

Overall, I really loved the new cast. They were interesting and fun bringing their own flavor to the mix. On rewatch, it hit me that we got to see not just hear about the family dynamics of all three of Kitty’s love interests giving us insight about who they are. Dae has a loving family but is insecure about his place in society. Yuri is the opposite in that she knows who she is in the world but feels isolated from her family. Minho’s parents are off doing their own thing. This has made him a bold in a good sense by not being afraid to speak the truth but also in a bad sense that he can be a jerk.

Ultimately, it’s Minho’s truth telling that has me firmly on his team. Looking back he’s the only one of the main characters who doesn’t lie. Except when he said he doesn’t speak “Englishie”. lol He’s not ashamed about things that other people would try to hide. After seeing what his parents have been through, he’d rather be open and honest even if it may be brutal. In the beginning, he has a distain for long-term relationships as he’s seen firsthand how they often don’t work out. This seems to be the main reason he didn’t like Dae’s relationship with Kitty because he wanted to protect Dae from the eventual painful breakup. He is a really loyal friend, intervening in ways they don’t always want or appreciate but it is with the best intentions. Though he’s annoyed with Kitty’s presence at first, he makes peace that she’s infiltrated his friend group fairly quickly and respects that Dae still has feelings for her. When he finds the sleeping webcam video of Kitty, he let’s Dae know so he can tell her. Even though Minho’s reluctant to let her stay with them, he doesn’t take long to befriend her after she’s moved in. And once those walls were down, it took like 2 seconds for him to realize he has feelings for her. It’s interesting that, despite witnessing the whole Dae-Kitty-Yuri mess first hand (and he doesn’t even know the half of it), getting to know Kitty better makes him realize it might be worth the mess to be in a “real” relationship. Minho then protects her like he does with all his friends, only a little more ardently. I love how he got on the plane with no expectations other than to spend time with her. He assumes that she worked things out with Dae but he still asks because he cares about her and wants to know what’s going on with her. But when Kitty confirms everything is truly over with Dae, Minho is surprised but doesn’t hesitate to express his feelings the first chance he gets. In many ways, they are opposites, but in the important ways they are similar by boldly expressing truth, fiercely loving people they care about and taking big chances to go after what they want in life. They deserve to be endgame.

But Kitty is not ready to date Minho. He wasn’t even on her radar since she was trying to deal with her feelings for Dae and Yuri. She’s now given Dae the send off. Next she needs to work out whatever will happen with Yuri. I really really hate cheating storylines so I hope they don’t go there but there is plenty to explore if certain people break up. So in the meantime, I want Kitty to turn him down and for them to continue to support each other as friends. And I don’t want Minho to wait around for Kitty. I want him to date someone else for awhile and learn to be a good boyfriend. Then in the future, when they are both available, I want them to have feelings for each other at the same time and realize they were meant for each other.

I didn’t mean for this to be so long but I have thoughts. lol This just wouldn’t leave me so I had to write it down. I have to say I really miss Kitty’s glasses. They were such a part of her aesthetic. I understand she’s grown up now and wants to wear contacts. But all the early morning rolling out of bed moments or late night moments, she should have been wearing her glasses cause you don’t sleep in your contacts. Or it’s really bad if you do. Anyway, I hope this show gets more seasons.

#xo kitty #team minho #kalenapost #kalenameta

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eurydicees · 2 years ago

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For blue lock, what are your thoughts on Kaiser and Ness as characters? I'm honestly really curious about Ness and if he'll unlock his own Ego through the threat of being replaced by Isagi. Or how Kaiser and Isagi's rivalry will continue. I don't know if you've seen the spoilers for the latest chapter btw but if so, what are your thoughts on Isagi's new skill?

ahhh this took forever to get to i apologize, i am so so behind on asks rn. i talk about this in this post, but i wanna expand on it because immediately after publishing that i had More Thoughts LOL. under the cut bc they're,,,,, long. spoilers up through chp 218 below!!!

i'm ALSO really curious to see if ness will unlock his own ego....maybe it's through the threat of isagi replacing him, as you said. but i'm also kinda hopeful that it comes through the realization that, like, he can play with people other than kaiser; he can create those chemical reactions with other people and he can play just as well with other people and he's his own player who has his own important role on the pitch other than supporting kaiser specifically.

bastard münchen is really interesting because it's a team built around one player (vs the other teams we see who seem to have more specific team-based and collaborative play styes, esp ubers), and that role is shifting from kaiser to isagi. so i'm curious to see ness connecting with people other than kaiser; i think it would be reaaaaallly fun if he made something really big happen with isagi and he found some more allyship with him, yk what i mean? i think ness has SO much potential as a player and him unlocking an ego that doesn't revolve around making kaiser better would be so cool for his character. at the same time, i also am super unsure what that would look like, though.

this is kinda where i think that parallels to reonagi come in, like i talked about in the other post. they're obviously not exactly the same and there's not really a one:one match up, and there are also just a lot of plain key differences, but i think some of the core traits of their dynamic are really similar.

at the beginning of the story, nagi really relies on reo to make soccer something interesting/fun to play--he's overall arc is realizing that he can grow stronger without reo's support and that, in growing stronger, he can find the joy in playing and he can discover why it's worth it at all.

meanwhile, reo is super attached to nagi as the "treasure" he was able to befriend and help lead into the world of soccer. i don't see this necessarily as an insane possessiveness, moreso as someone who is holding on so tightly to the first genuine connection he's made by himself; his first ally in soccer, the first thing that made it possible for him to play. it's not really "he's my thing to own and i don't want to let go of the things that are mine, even if they want to leave" and more "he's the one that made it all possible; that formed who i have the potential to be; and i don't know how to let go of that."

ness specifically feels similar to reo's arc: he is deeply attached to kaiser and he bases his self-worth and understanding of himself and the game around the way kaiser views him and the game. when kaiser begins to shift interest over to isagi's play, ness doesn't know what to do with that--how do you play the game when the person who shaped the way you play suddenly stops looking in your direction?

anyways nice segue eury let's talk about kaiser.

i think kaiser's rivalry with isagi is kind of fascinating, this in particular because he's the first person (iirc) to really actually seek isagi out as the one to beat. everyone else who has viewed him as a rival has to come to view him that way; kaiser starts out viewing him that way. kaiser actively looking at isagi to see what he can do from the very start is really different from rin, who didn't at all take him seriously until the very end, and everyone on team z, who didn't listen to him until he truly proved himself on the field. bachira believes in him from the start, but it's not as a rival, it's as an ally--he passes to isagi, he doesn't tag him as the highest ranked person to beat.

i'm really interested to see, too, how ness responds to isagi and kaiser's rivalry as it rises in intensity.

this ask was sent, like, a month ago, so yes i have read that chapter lol. but looking at the development of his skill is really cool imo. also i like that niko just kinda. figured it out. he just kind learned how to do it and isagi was just 😲😲😲 about it, yk? i looooooove niko. that's what i've got on that.

#ask #ty for the ask!!! so sorry it took so long but i hope this was interesting to u #blue lock #michael kaiser #alexis ness

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major-wren · 2 years ago

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Headcanons for Sonic characters' living situations (family/upbringing/housing)

We don't see most sonic characters homes or relatives anymore post-Archie comics, which tbh I actually like bc I like them to stay simplistic adventurer characters in main-line canon, but here's a bit of a masterpost for what I like to imagine in headcanon world lol

Even tho it's headcanons, I like to base them off of canon information (one off dialogue, old comics, less played games), so ull probably learn a lot about their actual canon homes through this read if that interests you team

Im splitting this into two posts! Click here for team dark, read below the cut for team sonic-

Team Sonic homes & upbringing

Sonic

I really really do not have any interest in Sonic being a tragic orphan lol. No interest in the Longclaw tragedy or him being alone his whole childhood. I think most can kinda agree that the tragic orphan main character trope is kinda overdone anyway, and honestly I just don't think it's accurate to his personality at all, at least not how I see him. My headcanon is that he had a pretty normal childhood, despite his super speed, and that the reason he didn't cause a commotion out adventuring at an even younger age than he already did is because he canonically grew up on Christmas island, so he couldn't get to the mainland since he can't swim. On TailsTube Tails said that the mainland is mostly urban cityscapes populated by humans (I assume with further away, more forested areas like windmill village and north glade further away from the human cities) and that the animal people mostly live on or at least come from tropical islands surrounding the main land (that are more tropical and similar looking to the early games with their palm trees and sunflowers).

I think Christmas island is probably tucked out of the way, and that Sonic grew up with a mom and dad and maybe even a little sister. I just think Sonic is such a big brother type, he had to get it from somewhere, he just fell into it so naturally with Tails like it was no big deal to him to have some little guy following him around tryna copy him, like maybe he was used to it. I bet his little sister is a lot younger though, like a bigger age difference than Sonic has with Tails, so by the time she was more self aware he was already off adventuring. I think before he left though, he was a massive trouble maker, always trying to find something exciting to get up to and burn energy with. I bet he had a skateboard and would be constantly hurtling around the island crashing into other peoples' stuff, so everyone knew him well. That kind of small town childhood where every mom and pop shop owner knows you by name and gives you a free little treat while you're out grocery shopping with your parents. I think everyone was shocked by his super speed at first but got used to it because, tbh, judging from other characters, although it's rare it doesn't seem that insanely crazy for animal folks to be born with some sort of special ability or crazy fur or eye color. I think the only reason Tails got bullied for his is just because it's so much more visually jarring and really seemed to be more of a deformity than a special ability until he realized he could fly.

I think Sonic would befriend someone who managed to get a proper ship that can make the distance to the mainland, and would end up begging his parents to go off and adventure, to finally stretch his legs and find the limits to his speed while he sees the world. In Sonic's world, and even Blaze's dimension, I don't think this is uncommon. Supposedly Amy ran off to adventure, Cream's mom Vanilla lets her go and adventure so long as Germerl or a team sonic member is watching her, and Marine from Blaze's world was also intent on adventuring no matter what anyone said. I don't really like when people try to say that this is like,, trauma inducing or something, because that's just how adventure cartoons and games are. Like, little kids go off and adventure the world in pokemon too and stuff, that's just normal for them or even an exciting opportunity that others envy them for, so, yknow, that's how I see it for sonic's world, too. He wasn't abandoned by his parents or anything he just wanted to go adventure and see the world outside his tiny island.

Obviously once he was off the island, at some point he ran into eggman and couldn't stand by and watch him do evil, jumped into action, and kickstarted their rivalry. Remember, he didn't start out doing cosmic universe saving conquests, originally he was just roughing up eggman to save little woodland critters! And during this cat and mouse game he met Tails, Amy, and Knuckles, with this rivalry obviously becoming more serious when Metal Sonic was introduced later on (Metal was introduced 2 years after Sonic's first adventure, so I like to think that at least 2 years really did pass in their time and so he's a proper teenager by then and ready to take on the challenge).

I really like to emphasize Sonic's adventuring sprit, and so I think he started out with the money his parents gave him to rent out motel/inn rooms or yknow those little rooms people will rent our of their homes for some extra money. Probably a few of the nights inbetween he may have used a hammock and camped out for fun, he does like to enjoy some quiet time in nature every now and then after all. I think by the time Metal Sonic comes in and Sonic's position as hero becomes a bit officiated, he's probably run out of the money his parents gave him at that point but doesn't wanna abandon his duty against Eggman now and his new friendships, and has found that he really loves this freedom and exploring. But now he's a proper hero, maybe not worldwide but definitely in these forested areas I mentioned earlier that are distant from the urban cities at the center of the mainland. So people probably take him in and let him sleep in their guest rooms or on their couch with Tails for free on the days they don't feel like camping out, yknow as thanks for keeping eggman at bay and saving woodland critters and kidnapped victims like Amy. Eventually in time Tails finishes building a Lab in Emerald Town with Sonic's help and that became their home base.

So I think Sonic lives all over the place, that he mostly sleeps at Tails' lab and has his own room there, but that he also still travels a ton inbetween adventures (because it's so easy for him to do, run for 10 seconds and you've skipped 5 towns) and likes to still stay at strangers' houses to hear their stories and sight-see, or will stay at whatever hotel or inn, or maybe even still set up a hammock if it's a night with good weather.

What about his family though? Oh he totally visits them as often as he can, but since it's a small island that hasn't made any connections to the mainland yet, they don't have a ferry system and are too far out to build a big bridge without promise of business to justify it. He hates the water so much and hates the boat rides there, so that's why it's reduced to yearly visits, but they still send letters back and forth all the time, with his parents sending pictures and updating him on his little sister, and Sonic sending back all the details of his adventures and new friends. I'm sure by the time he's become a big hero, like by sonic adventure 1, at that point the news of his heroism reaches his parents before his letters can, and they always make sure to write in how proud they are.

And don't worry!! Tails isn't left out by any means, he goes with Sonic to celebrate holidays at his family's house every year, and his parents make sure that he feels like he's a part of the family too, because he is! Besides, Sonic really appreciates the company for the boat-rides there and back, if we've learned anything from Sonic X, it's that he's not particularly a huge fan of long boat rides. Tails is Sonic's little bro through and through, and his little sister is simply thrilled to have two adventuring hero big brothers. Sonic's parents love to have Tails too because it gives them a chance to embarass Sonic with all the stories of how he would try to impress his little sister with radical skateboard tricks or setting a new record for running a lap around the island, but would always end up hurting himself somehow. Still, it made her laugh, and makes Tails laugh at the stories now even years later, so there's no real loss.

Tails

We all know the story of how Tails was bullied by the others in his village for either his second tail or his advanced skills in technology, depending on the media. Sonic was the one to scare the bullies off while running by one day, and Tails ended up following him and joining in on his adventure, so there's not much room for my own headcanons since he already has a past and home in canon (the lab/workshop he built in Emerald city). It's never said where his parents are in all of this, at least not in the cartoons, games, or IDW comics. It's unclear whether they simply were never there, possibly neglected him and therefore did not care when he left, or if they let him leave to adventure the same way Cream's mom lets her. The headcanon I ended up coming up with is that in Tails village it has a 'it takes a village to raise a kid' mentality, and although kids still lived with their parents, they were cared for by everyone in the village, and that it was predominantly foxes living there. Because of this, I think if Tails wasn't claimed by his parents and instead lived in a group home or orphanage, it wouldn't be too bad since he'd have the whole village of adults looking after him, but: This would also make it easy for him to kind of feel like he doesn't have much tying him to his home, just kind of generally cared for and not having a direct link or loyalty to a specific home. I also think that his village being majority foxes would cause them to be more closed minded toward any differences, like his second tail. So when Sonic comes by, and shows off how he's backpacking the mainland alone and embracing not having anything tying him down, Tails is totally star struck and wants to follow in his footsteps. They of course go on exciting adventures together and Sonic becomes his big bro, with the adventures slowly becoming more intense as they grow older and rise to the challenges and make connections to adventuring types all over the world (and beyond, into the future and other dimensions and other planets).

Obviously he needs a place to store his equipment though, when his skills expand and demand more than the tools and materials he keeps stored in a bag on the Tornado. What was a single bag and the tornado ends up blowing up into a full blown workshop, multiple mechas, basically a whole industry with his logo showing up even on common household items. I think that's how he makes money too to stay independent, through selling inventions or being commissioned for repairs or designs.

Also in the IDW comics, there's a small side moment where Tails asks Sonic to play games with him, and there's a panel showing them playing games on a couch, so it's clear that Tails' workshop does have a living area with the typical furniture and comforts.

As said earlier he visits Sonic's family every year whenever they can make the time for a trip and be sure they won't be needed for anything important (this becomes easier when the freedom fighters or the resistance/restoration is formed, depending on whichever continuation you follow, regardless it allows them to go off for a little vacation/home visit more often). Tails is nervous at first but after a few visits becomes excited to go see them again and feels like a part of the family, and a holiday without him just doesn't feel right at Sonic's family's house. Whenever he's there he definitely helps with any home repairs they may need as thanks, and eventually helps them with setting up a way to do video calls. Even with video calls, Sonic still likes to send letters back and forth too, it became a way to really sit down and digest all the big events that happen to him, like a way to help process it all while also chronicling all the good moments with his friends. Still he appreciates the video calls Tails set up, but since he never keeps any tech on him, they have to be scheduled so he can make sure he can go have a sit-down at Tails' lab to be there to answer the call and have a chat (this means Tails is always there for the video calls too!).

At first at Sonic's family's house his bedroom had been left untouched and still has his silly race-car bed and stack of comic books and stuff, and it isn't until he literally can't fit in it anymore that it's replaced, and when it is they make sure to put a second bed in the room for Tails too since they always visit together.

Amy

Amy seemed to seek independence from a really young age. It's implied in Sonic X that her parents really upheld gender roles and expected her to stay at home and stay away from rough housing with her hammer. It was her fortune cards that told her to leave home, that she'd find her hero out in the world, and so that's how she ended up chasing Sonic around. I really like that Amy still found fun in femininity despite her parents' influence on her, that she knows she can simultaneously weild her massive hammer and bark orders while still expecting to be treated delicately and wear her cute outfits.

Since Amy isn't included on a lot of Sonic's early adventures with Knuckles and Tails, I tend to fill this gap with her having to return home because she doesn't really have anywhere to stay except for her parents' home, unlike the boys, so she can't tag along, as much as she'd like to. By Sonic Adventure 1 though, we see her independently grocery shopping and such, so it can be assumed that she moved out of her parents house the moment she was able to, probably saving up all her money to get away, and likely not being especially fond of or attached to her parents because of their conflicting thoughts on gender roles and adventuring, although not exactly hating them either. I like to headcanon that she moved into a human city maybe because its just easier to be independent there, that the animal-people communities have a focus on family and community and build their own eco-huts, but since she was goin' it alone it was easier to move into a pre-built apartment in the city. I bet, too, that she was excited to live right next to Twinkle Park. I also like to headcanon that shes specifically living in a tiny apartment right above a bakery, and that she works there a little bit to pay her rent living above it, like Kiki's delivery service. Obviously she regroups with the boys now that she's able to and joins in as a permanent fixture to the adventures.

Later on when she's older (I like to think her outfit reflects her age, that she was a child when she had the green skirt, a teenager with the big red skirt with lace edge, and an adult when she's got the red dress we see her in now) she finally moves back into an animal folk community and builds her own eco-hut. She has people over for tea often and bakes little treats to go with it. Just like the annual comic, I think she draws the mini-comics of her friends, and has been drawing their adventures and funny moments for a long long time. She definitely seems like the type to draw diary comics, or at least any kind of diary. Even though she settles down in one of the animal folk villages, I think she still makes trips into the city to go shopping with Rouge or to drag Sonic to Twinkle Park (he pretends to hate it but actually loves the arcade section with dancing games and the thrill rides, and soon they start making it into a trip with even more friends). There's a moment in the IDW comics where she takes everyone on a camping trip, and it's shown she has a cute car too, so I think she goes out and does stuff often, having little planned out trips with friends.

Amy realizes that her cards were never telling her of a hero that'd save her, they were sending her on her quest to become a hero by spreading love and protecting compassion, just like what she said in Sonic Fronteirs. I think her speech to Shadow, the way she protected Gamma, the way she looks out for Sonic and holds together the alliances and friendships he sparks, I think that's her role in the group and I think it's reflected in the way she lives, the way she builds a home wherever her friends need to be, and the way she's one of the only ones shown to have a car to help connect friends, always the one planning the get-togethers like her picnic in Sonic Prime and camping trip in IDW.

Knuckles

Okay honestly I don't have a lot in mind for Knuckles but there's no fucking way he actually just sleeps on the steps in front of the master emerald I refuse to believe it I refuse-

So obviously in my headcanon Knuckles is not homeless/shelterless. Yea sometimes he probably posts up in a hammock around angel island, same as Sonic's habits, maybe sometimes he does fall asleep in front of the master emerald by accident, but I like to believe he has a little home to keep things in and rest his head and hide out from the rain, even if he's not materialistic.

Remember when he popped up out of a sewer manhole in Sonic Adventure 2? I like to emphasize his whole thing of like, climbing up rock-walls and digging underground with his knuckle claw things lol. So building off of that, I think there's a hidden hatch somewhere and that the master emerald's temple is actually hollowed out inside underground for the protector to make a home of. That way he literally lives beneath the master emerald. I'm sure he has a little spot to cook food and a bed and maybe a makeshift boxing area and that's his home darn it give him a home. Beyond that he doesn't have any belongings inside because mostly he spends time all over the island looking after the chao, exploring, uncovering new engravings and structures, etc etc.

Also, honestly, I feel like it'd be nice if he had a few more hobbies. Especially if he was like, keeping some of his culture alive through crafting/making art, like weaving or carving small sculptures or stuff like that yknow? He doesn't like to hold on to too many items though because clutter makes him feel overwhelmed so he exclusively makes them as gifts for others. When he gifted Amy a small accessory he made Amy tried to gift back an accessory of her own that she knitted but she soon learned that it was better to just visit Knuckles and craft together side by side while enjoying the weather.

#major mumbles #sth #team sonic #sonic headcanon #sonic headcanons #sth headcanon #sth headcanons #team sonic headcanons #sonic #tails #knuckles #amy rose #amy #archie sonic the hedgehog #tails the fox #knuckles the echidna

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polkadotpatterson · 2 years ago

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Uhhhhhhh two other two members of the Patterson-Gloom family, Alto and Beasley!

Whoops this got a bit long lol

Alto

-Alto is fascinating to me because their whole concept is basically "what if you took a younger less traumatized PolkaDot Patterson from the Glolf Universe and dragged them into our world and gave them Trauma too" and that's very fun to play around with

-Their blessing made them a star glolfer but unfortunately that doesn't translate well to pitching! This is why batting comes more naturally to them, it's a similar concept of Swing Stick Hit Ball

-Glolf is a pretty lonely splort compared to blaseball! Just you against everyone, no teams. They did have some glolf friends but nobody they were super close with. That combined with memory issues when they first arrived meant that they've never made a proper effort to go home, even in their worst times here (plus they saw what interdimensional rulebreaking did to Dot and aren't eager to experience the consequences firsthand)

-On that note, they theoretically do have the same interdimensional abilities as Dot! They just don't try them out until the world is ending and they want to help the Talkers get to the Hall.

-No matter how much time they spend on the Talkers, they'll always think of themselves first and foremost as a Mech. The Core is their true home.

-That being said, they do often stay with Dot and Workman when they're in Halifax!

-Has a very complicated relationship with Dot. Alto resents their fame and having to take their place, but also understands that none of this is Dot’s fault and they really do want to help Alto. The solo/semicentennial was kind of the turning point in their relationship, where Alto realized hmm, yeah, fame kinda sucks actually. They basically see each other as siblings and are starting to get closer by the time the world ends.

-Gia is their best friend on the Mechs

-Is not immune to the classic PolkaDot Patterson bad coping mechanism of No Thoughts Only Blaseball

-All PolkaDots Patterson are always aroace to me, so on the rare moments I'm willing to entertain Alto/Mira, it's a case of Mira having a crush on them and Alto not being able to reciprocate in the same way, but still caring and feeling Some Sort Of Way about her and being willing to try a relationship.

-Has a weird friendship with Spears Nolan in that they used to run into each other at Hlot Tlopic sometimes and kinda jokingly antagonize each other a bit but they actually do end up becoming pretty close after [SPOILERS]

Beasley

-Was a stray dog who kept showing up at Workman's blaseball practices! They were impressed by both his pitching and his shoe stealing ability, plus he's a very good boy, so they made an effort to befriend him and now they're unseparable! sim dni

-Never once blamed Dot for Workman's death. He saw how much they were Going Through It when they got out of the shell, and went well, hey, maybe we can go through it together? You're not Workman but you miss them a lot too 😔

-Refused to believe Workman was never coming back, and, hey, he was right!

-Friends with all the Talkers team pets! He and Budy are bffs in particular, and he and Beans get into a lot of mischief together.

-He doesn't care about winning or losing, he's just having a good time if there's a ball being thrown! He didn't mind being Shadowed either, because then he got to spend more time with his favourite people 😌

#thanks blestie <3 #answering moistly #kosmosxipo #alto patterson #beasley gloom #blaseball

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pomeraniandancer · 3 months ago

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And then throw in all of her honorary aunts and uncles who also helped save the world from the Netherbrain…

Lae'zel being very stern about knowing how to fight and being booksmart and bringing Zan over for playdates because she's coming to understand the importance of play and fun in life (or, depending on the age gap, sending Zan over to babysit when no one else is available)

Gale teaching her cantrips and spells and teaching her how to make use of libraries and archives and taking her book shopping

Karlach doubling up on Halstarion/Tav's lessons about bodily autonomy, independence, and *respectfully* supporting and defending anyone who is getting bullied at school

Wyll and Karlach teaching Tav Jr. about the importance of accepting people for whom they are, regardless of what they look like (Lae'zel might chime in on this front as well, but I suspect that if Tav Jr. grew up with Zan as a friend or babysitter that regarding githyanki as looking "strange" simply wouldn't occur to her; Halsin would also chime in when asked or invited to)

Wyll and Karlach being very stern and clear about the Hells as well, and how nothing good will come of dealing with devils.

Shadowheart I imagine would take a little longer to warm up to Tav Jr. just because it reminds her of her own lost childhood and memories, although she doesn't hold that against any of the party or especially Tav Jr.

So I can see her maybe being a tad more distant at first, but warms up as she heals and has similar lessons about the Gods that Wyll and Karlach do about the Hells

Halsin grows night orchids and Tav Jr. always makes sure they have a bouqet of them for Shadowheart when she comes over for a visit

Jaheira intimidates Tav Jr. at first, but Tav Jr. quickly gets past that when she realizes that Jaheira is basically a walking, talking historical document that she can interview and cite in her history homework. Jaheira's children are all happy to babysit when needed, and Jord in particular is another reminder to Tav Jr. not to judge people based on their looks.

Minsc is Tav Jr's favorite babysitter because he teaches her how to throw axes, and Boo gives her more history lessons. Her parents aren't entirely sure how Tav Jr. learned to converse with Boo.

Wyll, Duke Ravengard, and Counsellor Florrick teach Tav Jr. courtly manners and dances. She takes to calling Duke Ravengard "Granddad" since he's the closest thing she has to one. Everyone is rather charmed by this, particularly since at least two of her parents are significantly older than the Duke.

We don't have to stop at the companions either...

Mol's gang take glee at getting gangster lessons from Astarion

Tav Jr. is completely bewildered by the prejudice against Teiflings, since she grew up in a commune surrounded by them

Astarion, Tav, and Halsin in particular are cautious about taking Tav Jr. into the underdark, but Tav Jr. does get to befriend the Gur children

Dame Aylin is rather distant (both because she's at least a demi-goddess, but also because she's' super intimidating even to fully grown adventurers, let alone a small child), but Isobel comes to befriend Shadowheart and visits on occasion, especially if Jaheira is around.

Tav Jr. at one points works up the courage to ask Dame Aylin to take her flying. Her parents are both mortified and a little alarmed, but Dame Aylin is unexpectedly gracious, and actually does it.

Arabella babysits, and is Tav Jr's parents' number one choice.

Although they're careful about when and where they take Tav Jr. into the Underdark (mostly because of the vampire cohort -- Astarion especially distrusts Dalyria), they do take her to meet the Myconid Colony. The Myconids are slightly puzzled by this novel (to them) form of reproduction (they knew other species reproduced differently, but hadn't really inquired into the details), but are pleased to meet the offspring of the heroes who helped protect their colony.

Tav Jr. swears off eating mushrooms after meeting the Myconids.

Us and Scratch are two of the commune-wide pets. It takes Tav Jr. a while to realize that Us is not your usual household pet.

Tara acts as if Tav Jr. is *her* child, not Astarion, Tav, and Halsin's, and gets very stern with them when they reprimand her for some mischief without her permission. Gale doesn't even bother trying to understand this.

Omeluum resides in the Myconid colony, and is in regular conversation with Tav Jr's parents, although they take a while before they introduce him to Tav Jr. in person.

Omeluum has also enthusiastically taken up researching how to allow vampire spawns to walk in the sun, as well as how to nutritionally supplement Vampire diets to ensure they do not need to feed on humans full-time, along with his research into humane mindflayer diets.

Myshka comes to live with Tav Jr's family. He sleeps on Tav Jr's head every night, and has come to some sort of truce with Tara, though neither the cat nor the tressym divulge what this truce involves. Has taught Tav Jr. Mriaer. Was afraid of Us and the Owlbear at first, but now regularly naps with both, and Scratch.

I haven't gotten to the end of the game yet, but in my run Yenna and Grub are safe from Orin, and they go to live in Halsin's commune as well, so I imagine Yenna occasionally babysitting Tav Jr., teaching her to cook, and to respect Grub's space and bodily autonomy.

Grub one day walks over and curls up in Tav Jr's lap for a nap. Tav Jr. goes completely still in shock and delight, and barely moves for the entire time (twenty minutes), which was the longest anyone had seen Tav Jr. stay still since she had learned how to walk.

Tav Jr. treats the occasional visit from the strange "Bone Man" (a name she picks up from Arabella) as just another day-in-the-life thing.

I feel like we should have something about Tav Jr. befriending Thaniel just as her parents did, but I don't have anything specific in mind.

No one is quite sure how to bring up to Tav Jr. how unusual her upbringing really is, or if it's something they should point out to her at all. So far, they haven't said anything of it.

Sorry this got so long, I wasn't expecting it to be this lengthy either. Feel free to pick and choose which hc's you agree with and which you don't!

Legit just sick in bed thinking about TavxHalstarion headcanons for if they all had a daughter:

- She would be princess problems, no doubt about it. And #1 daddy’s girl.

- “Oh you don’t want to take me shopping for ten new outfits, compliment me as I try them on, and hold all my bags while we shop? That’s fine, my daddy will take me.��

- “Oh you don’t want to build me a house with your bare hands because it’s too much work? That’s fine, because my daddy will. No, not that daddy. The other one.”

- “Oh, you don’t think women can be leaders and be in charge of men? That’s funny because my mommy lead BOTH my daddies in battle and all three of them saved YOUR mommies and daddies from being mindflayers.”

- “Some people only have ONE daddy and some people have NO daddies?” Cue genuine shock and confusion from six year old Tav Jr.

- Absolute menace to society. But also a strong, fearless leader.

- Knows how to sew, embroider, whittle, cast healing spells, live off the land, speak to animals, pickpocket/lockpick, ballroom dance… really a jack of all trades kinda girlie.

- She’s giving female Robin Hood meets social justice queen vibes.

- Generally kind, but if you’re a bully on the playground? She’ll draw blood without a second thought.

- If she’s called to the principles office for such an offense, Astarion is the first one through the door threatening to sue everyone.

- Meanwhile Halsin is checking Tav Jr. and the other kid over for injuries, healing them if necessary.

- Tav is simply shaking her head at Tav Jr, knowing damn well that strong sense of justice and morally gray vigilante way of handling it is all her and she can’t actually be too mad that her daughter picked up the trait.

-Halsin will try to help her control her internal rage with meditation, while Astarion will try to show her how to simply not get caught.

- Halsin: “What do we do when we get the urge to physically hurt someone, my heart?” Tav Jr: “Take a deep breath and ask the Oak Father for patience.”

- Astarion: “What do we do once we’ve actually physically hurt someone, darling?” Tav Jr: “Remain silent and ask for my lawyer to be contacted.”

- Regardless of who is actual, biological daddy, Astarion and Halsin share the role with pride and recognize one another’s strengths for what they are. It takes a village to raise a child, and little Tav Jr. is fortunate to have her very own village built right in.

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robbyrobinson · 3 years ago

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Hollow Mind (Review)

Ho-ly crap.

Going into "Hollow Mind" I already expected the episode to answer several lingering questions such as the truth behind Hunter's identity, and who exactly the Collector is. But oh my god.

I just feel bad for both Luz and Hunter in this episode. Luz already had to deal with the fact that the person she looked up to was a sociopathic jerk, but now she has the knowledge that the Emperor and Whittebane were one and the same. And she was the one who helped him out by showing him the light spell. So it is kind of her fault that the Day of Unity is coming.

But Hunter. Goodness gracious, all the therapy sessions in the world won't help him. He was so convinced that his "Uncle" was good and that there was a greater good to explain away his atrocious crimes, but his whole world was shattered.

I'll start off by just saying fuck Belos. The fandom already knew that the whole "wild magic" thing was complete bullocks, but to have him stage "witch attacks" to ensnare people into joining his covens is horrid. Along with all the previous Golden Guards. Yes, they turn out to be grimwalkers, but every time they "betrayed" Belos, he killed them. Belos is a fucking serial killer who keeps all the masks and paintings of previous guards as some sick trophy. That is not even getting into him sacrificing demons and witches when he was "Philip." He is more of a monster than King Andrias because, while it does not justify his horrible acts, at the least we know that he wasn't always power-hungry but because of his "mistake" costing Newtopia to lose its way of life, he would spend thousands of years rectifying that blunder while still having shades of regret for what he is doing (along with the Core condoning the worst of him). Belos is just a genocidal prick.

And this fucker has the gall to say "I don't take joy in killing the Golden Guards who always betray me in the end" even when he had a shit-eating grin on his face. This motherfucker enjoys killing them for shits and giggles and yet has to continually justify himself by claiming holier than thou when...I don't know. Philip, perhaps they keep betraying you because they realized what you were really after? That's not even getting into the heavy implications that he killed his own companion/brother when he fell in love (or maybe befriended) a witch who also seemed to be pregnant as well with a potential Clawthorne???

Everything about Belos is a lie: the Day of Unity is just a front so he can kill all the witches and demons because of his self-righteous vow as a witch hunter to save humanity from evil. He never could talk to the Titan but now he has the Boiling Isles wrapped around his metallic finger that no one would dare speak ill of him with the threat of petrification lingering over them. Though it was kind of funny: I once considered writing a fanfic where a new student goes to Hexside also being a human who wound up in the Demon Realm like Luz but was secretly planning on blowing the school up because of their xenophobic hatred of magic. It's kind of funny how that turned out.

But, just poor Hunter. He was betrayed by the one person he was staunchly advocating as being good and now cannot return because it would mean certain death. Seeing the kid have a panic attack and hyperventilating and then throwing his cloak to the ground is heartbreaking. A few episodes ago he was proud to be wearing that cloak as a symbol of his status, but now, it was suffocating him.

We also get to finally formally see the Collector assuming that was the same one who sealed the Owl Beast in that scroll. Or as I like to call them, the long lost relative of Bill Cipher. It is insane how much Gravity Falls had influenced several Disney Channel shows: Philip is an evil counterpart of Stanford Pines who actually works alongside the chaotic evil force in the show; Amphibia season 2 had the Curator, and Darcy has some quirks relating to a certain demonic nacho chip we all know.

Putting the Gravity Falls similarities aside, I am already loving the Collector. I like the jester-like, two-dimensional form they take which compliments the surreal and cosmically bizarre nature the Collector possesses. They rhyme on a dime (despite the difficulty of finding a word to rhyme with Unity). And they are a hoot to watch like some overly-energetic child. However, it nevertheless demonstrates that the Collector is a force not to take lightly. Unlike Cipher, the Collector is upfront about what they want: to wipe out all life on the Isles and party like it's 1999. This was why I would have appreciated a full third season to better establish just why the Collector is imprisoned and what the Collector's reasons for wanton destruction are, but I do like the character.

I am worried about what Luz's course of action is now that the Titan's blood is caput. Sure, they needed to get Luz and Hunter out of Belos' mindscape before it was too late, but that cost Luz the seemingly one chance of returning home.

A real doozy to end on.

#hollow mind #the owl house #philip whittebane #the collector #the collector toh

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talkfantasytome · 4 years ago

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'Twas Never Meant to Be - An Opinion

I have a lot of thoughts about this, and really need to get them out. So, let's talk about Elain and Azriel.

First off, I want to warn you, this post is a beast. Like, over 7.5k words beast. It just kept going. I'm sorry, but I didn't know what to take out and, honestly, I didn't want to spend a lot of time heavily editing it. Tread knowingly. I will not be offended if anyone chooses not to read it, or not to read it all.

Secondly, I want to say that this post is not meant to be a pro-Gwynriel or pro-Elucian post. Regardless of my personal ships, I want to explain why I, personally, do not believe Elain and Azriel would be right for each other. And these reasonings go far beyond "because I'd prefer them with someone else". In fact, these beliefs and feelings are first and foremost in my mind when considering all three of these ships, and any feelings I may or may not have on other ships are always second to my belief that they would not be right together. I will do my best to keep Gwyn and Lucien out of the comparison, unless using them as a way to point to something that would be wrong between Elain and Azriel - versus stating any reason why the other would be right.

The first two reasons I will share are ones I have been holding on to for quite a while, and have only become stronger with more content (Silver Flames). I have, personally, not seen much around these two thoughts, but recognize that they may be out there already, as there is no new thought under the sun. So, here goes:

Step Away From the Characters

Honestly, my first reason really has nothing to do with the characters themselves at all, but it's something I can't get out of my head. It's a personal thing, I know, as everyone might see it differently, but I can't help but feel like the three brothers ending up with the three sisters would be too perfect, too convenient.

I know that it's a shit argument when talking about an SJM book, and the more I read about the series, and the more books that come out within it, the more I recognize this. It makes me sad. But personally, I can't get behind this storyline, this ending that is so perfect it makes my skin crawl. It's not how life works, and it doesn't really make sense. If it were three adoptive sisters, as the bat boys are, it would actually make more sense, because it would stand to reason that you would have a two groups that mirror each other. That one girl who mirrored Rhys, let's say, then befriended to the point of sisterhood ones that mirrored the boys that Rhys befriended to the point of brotherhood. But Nesta, Elain, and Feyre are sisters by blood, not by choice, and so it isn't an automatic that they would be that reflection to the boys. And even though the boys lived together, and weren't fully brought together by choice as much as Mrs. Rhys's mother, they still chose to stay together and be brothers.

We have never, not fully, seen the Archerons make those same choices. These boys live together (or used to), work together, truly share their lives. The Archerons don't. The girls were disconnected before becoming Fae, and they are still disconnected after it. You see it more clearly with Nesta, of course, trying to stay away from the group, stay separate. But you see it with Feyre and Elain too. You see how Elain practically gives up on Nesta, and how Feyre discredits and dismisses Elain as anything more than just a kind soul who likes to garden. You can't, for two seconds, convince me that the Archerons have as similar or as bonded relationships to each other as the bat boys, and that alone tells us that we should not expect them to mirror the boys.

I would also like to note, looking back at the characters for a second, that it has been observed by others how Feyre and Nesta do seem to have similar energies a lot. On top of that, you could argue that Nesta mirrors all three bat boys in one way or another. It's one theory as to why she and Rhys struggle so much with each other, because they're too similar. And, you can't convince me that Az and Nesta don't share a bond because of their own similarities. Nesta's fire was cold as ice. Rhys once observed Azriels rage as an 'icy rage'. I don't think I need to mention how Nesta mirrors Cassian, but it's there too. So, the fact that she would be the sister who ended up with a mate from the Night Court, one of these three brothers, just made a lot of sense. But Elain, who is so different from her sisters, she doesn't have that same energy. It's not a bad thing, but it helps make sense why she would be the one with a mate from outside this Court.

Beyond this, however, I still struggle with the three and three come together concept. And that's coming from someone who actually has, within her family, a story of two brothers marrying two sisters - my great grandparents (or great great, I can never remember). So, I know stuff like this does happen, though admittedly my only experience is with two and two, and naturally I do believe that the likelihood of the full group being with the full other group goes down with each additional number. Regardless of that, though, it is an author's job to tell a story that we can connect to, and having such convenient and perfect endings makes it difficult to do just that. Because life isn't like that.

So I struggle with the concept of this. Like I said, the more I get to know these books, this series, the more I understand that this is not a great argument for why Elain and Azriel aren't endgame considering how other things have played out, but I still think it's a good argument for why they shouldn't be. However, I would also say that the argument that they will end up together because it's three brothers and three sisters is completely off base and illogical, for reasons I've mentioned above. What is the purpose of that? How does that drive the plot and the story and world? How does it connect us to them better? It doesn't. All it does is be just a convenient little bow that has no true purpose, unless there is true purpose as to why each sister ended up with each brother. And I don't really see a purpose as to why Elain would end up with Az except that they're both the last sibling, and that they currently like each other. But that doesn't mean they're right for each other, and I don't see how them being together will spur the story and the world forward the way Feyre and Rhys did, and the way Nesta and Cassian can and/or will.

As someone who dabbles in writing, I have thought about these types of things, and I'm always adjusting plans and thoughts when I realize I've gone into that too perfect la la land, and I'd like to believe that all writers do that. SJM has had some convenient endings, but I will say I've not yet felt like any ending was just too perfect. The closest was, of course, ACOWAR. But even then, you still had threads, misunderstandings, questions, and things you weren't happy about. Yes, the ending felt a bit perfect, but we still lost the Bone Carver, Mr. Archeron, the Suriel, etc. There were still things that made it less than completely perfect. And much of what was done in the ending did move this story forward, and provide the opening for what we are now getting. And, in the same vein, I like to think that SJM would recognize how this would be too much. But, I don't hold out a lot of hope on this reasoning alone, it's really just something I had to get off my chest.

Share Life With Me

This next point is huge for me, in my mind. Again, it is based off of my own personal opinions of some characters, as well, so I do understand that some people may not agree with this argument. That's fine, but you will not sway me.

It all comes down to one thing. What does Az want?

In the Az POV chapter we are finally told, out right, that he does want Elain. But, my question - does he really?

I have been thinking about this since long before Silver Flames, since we all knew Az had a crush, but it wasn't as cemented until Silver Flames came out, and we saw how Nesta and Cassian would develop as a couple. Because, and here's the kicker, I don't believe Az actually wants Elain.

Yes, you read that right. I know he thinks he wants Elain. I know he believes she's kind and beautiful. And I recognize that there was a sexual tension there - I'm not blind. But I don't believe that Elain is the end goal Azriel is actually looking for.

I believe that she is a representation of that end goal.

This mostly comes down to his conversation with Rhys, his belief about the Cauldron:

"The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another." He had never before dared speak the words aloud.

Okay, first - Az, please see point above. Also, I can't help but feel like SJM put that in here almost to show that this isn't actually a valid argument.

Second, let's dissect that argument for a moment. Now, perhaps Az is just trying to find what he considers a more 'objective' reason for why Elain should be his, why they should be together. However, if that were the case, then why would he have never dared speak those words aloud? Most likely because he knows it's not a solid argument, and logical Az knows this. But this is 2 AM, you just stopped me from kissing the girl I fancy Az, and he definitely is not being his most logical self.

It's also not a logical or good argument because of one simple word. Given. "…the third was given to another." Az, you're better than this. I truly want to believe you're better than this. I understand that the mating bond is weird, and inherently at least slightly sexist, but that doesn't give any male the right to really look at it that way. Especially when you consider the explanation that the mating bond will be present between two perfect equals. This is seen in ACOMAF when Feyre can't believe Rhys would be her mate, because that's what it would mean, that she's his equal. This also paints Elain as an object, which, no matter what anyone's feelings are toward the character, is not okay. She is a person. A fictional one, but still a person, she cannot be given unless she chooses to give herself. The Cauldron simply dictated who it believes is best for her, and vice versa. I'm not saying the Cauldron was right, or that she and Lucien would be good together, but that's what the mating bond is. To argue that the Cauldron was wrong because two brothers got two of the sisters, but the third was given to another is inherently wrong, because Elain cannot be given away.

It also shows that maybe Az really isn't truly seeing Elain for who she is, if he is thinking of it this way. I do believe that Az is a feminist, or, at least, more of a feminist than most of the males in Prythian (which, sadly, doesn't seem to be saying much). So I don't believe this is a comment based on a sexism in Az we haven't seen yet, I truly don't. I believe that it is a comment made by someone whose judgement is clouded, and who is, as I stated earlier, using Elain as a representation of what he's really looking for. He seems to idolize her, put her on a pedestal, believe that she is all light, all good. (Az, please see my previous post on that little nugget.) He objectifies her not because he truly believes she is an object, but because she has become a symbol in his mind - she is not the person Elain to him. She is the one he should have, the one who will bring him what he wants. Note I didn't say the one he wants. Whenever a person puts another on a pedestal the way Az has with Elain, whenever someone idolizes them, or believes that said person will fix all of their woes, they are subconsciously objectifying them. That being is no longer seen as a true person, with all the flaws and struggles and ugly parts. They are something else. And those types of feelings about another person never end in a good relationship, because at least one side is always expecting too much from the other, and they rarely learn to cope with what they didn't expect. And, for the record, you should never really be 'coping' with your partners flaws, but that's a conversation for another day.

Beyond being not a truly logical argument, and showing us how Azriel has actually objectified Elain in his mind, I also believe this statement gives us insight into what Az actually wants. He could have said a number of things to express a belief (or desire) that the Cauldron was wrong. He could have talked about his feelings for Elain. About how he thinks their personalities are too compatible for them to not be rightfully mates. Pretty much, he could have said something about Elain, and how they are right together because of who they are.

But he didn't.

Instead, Az brought up his two brothers and their mates. How they each got one, so surely the third should be his. And why did he do this? Again, maybe 2 AM Az who had lost his logic just thought this was an objective reason. But I think there's more to it than that. I think he brought up those other relationships as a way to point toward what it is he really wants. Because that's what's on his mind. It's not that Elain is perfect for him, that she is everything he could have ever hoped for in a female. It's that she is the sister of his brother's two mates, and he wants what his brothers have. So, clearly, that must mean that it's Elain who can give him that.

Again, Az, please read my first point. Because that's not a guarantee just because they're related.

Now, I imagine most people are saying, "Well, duh. We all know he wants what they have. He said so earlier on in the chapter." And he did:

Azriel couldn't stop it. The envy in his chest. Of Cassian, and Rhys.

So, it's not new. But, this argument he provided highlights that so specifically. He wants what his brothers have. Not a mate, per se. No. What they have.

But, wait, a mate is what they have. What are you saying?

Yes, a mate is what each of them have. But, as we know, not all mates are perfect for each other. Rhys and Feyre, and Cassian and Nesta are both examples of how right the mating bond can be. But, let's instead look at what they both have, in points, instead of just saying they have a mate. Here are, from my interpretation, the main common aspects of these two relationships:

Love. Sure, Nesta and Cassian hadn't said it yet. But, yes, they love each other, they're just both stubborn and scared and maybe not ready to say it.

Heavy sexual attraction and chemistry. This may not always be the most important piece of a relationship, but it's blatant in both of theirs, and it's clear that Az wants that as well. Which is fair.

Friendship. It's hard to see it at times, because these books are so much about the romance, but I do believe that both couples are truly friends who like to spend time together. Who can have fun together. We don't get to see this enough - and I do wish we saw more of it - but it is there. It's there when Cassian throws his head back laughing at something Nesta said. Or when Rhys is thrilled when sassy Feyre appears. And yes, it is in part the mating bond, making them want to be near each other, but they still enjoy that time together. Mates who aren't right for each other wouldn't.

True partners. In these two relationships, they are more than just each other's mate, lover, friend. They are and/or are becoming partners. In their relationships, Rhys and Cass have found a female who they can share their lives with. Completely and fully. In Feyre, Rhys has found a High Lady, a female who is his true equal, who can rule the Court with him. They work together, plan together. And Rhys can come home at night and tell her everything about his day. In Nesta, Cass has found someone who, I believe, will grow to command with him. Likely female units, but she is still mirroring Cass in that way. She may not become his true equal in terms of being Commander of the Night Court, but she would still be his partner. He will still be able to strategize with her, the two working together to determine where each unit will go. He will command the Illyrians, and by his side she will command the Valkyries. And he can come home, at the end of the day, and tell her everything about his day.

It's this last piece that I want to really dig into, because that is what separates Rhys and Cassian's relationships from others we have seen, in my opinion, and thus that is what Az wants. It's not just a mate, he wants what his brothers have, a true partner who he can fully share his life with. Because that is what makes their relationships so special.

And, in the end, I do not believe Elain can be that for him.

I am not trying to discredit Elain, or say that she is simple, or that she can't do anything but garden and be a housewife. No. That is not my point. I do think, however, that what it would entail to be a true partner to Az is something she does not want to do. And that is okay! It is okay for her to want to garden and bake. It's okay to not wish to be involved in all of the plotting and planning and little missions and quests that the Inner Circle does. It's okay to not want to train. To be happy as you are.

But she can't do both. She can't be a true partner to Azriel and remain as she is. Now, perhaps she does want more, and I have misread her. It's possible, I am not infallible. However, she hasn't ever truly shown us anything that tells me otherwise. And, no, I don't believe her offering to find the Dread Trove in Silver Flames counts as I don't believe she offered to do so out of the goodness of her heart or because she wanted to do it. I believe she wanted to prove Nesta wrong. (Again, you can see this in my previous post.) So, to be a true partner to Azriel, she may have to change everything that she is. And that's not fair to her.

And, even if I am way off on a lot of this. Even if she does want to do more for the Night Court. There is one thing that we have learned about Elain:

She does not wish to fight, she does not wish to train.

I'm sorry, you can't convince me otherwise. Not when she has had ample opportunity to do so in the year, year and a half since Hybern, and still hasn't. It was different with Nesta, who was dealing with a lot of other things, but Elain has been, for the most part, fairly healthy. Her not training is her choice because of who she is.

Again, this is okay! I am not insulting Elain for this, not at all. I get it. I don't particularly love working out - the main exercise I get is from rock climbing twice a week, that's it. So I get it. However, you cannot work with Azriel and not be trained, not know how to fight. Even if Elain could be silent, or infiltrate courts easily, and learn secrets, you need those skills, even if it's just a fallback to ensure you can escape should something go wrong. But it also helps to understand these types of things, to understand battle and politics and everything else. It's not about whether she can do this, it's about whether she wants to do this, and I'm not sure she does. So she would either have to change who she is, and be unhappy to become Az's partner, or she wouldn't be able to be that. And, admittedly, if she were unhappy, he still wouldn't have what his brothers have.

However, on top of that, I also don't know if Azriel would let Elain be his true partner. Think about when they're at dinner, talking about how Nesta needs to scry, and how they'll have to rely on Elain if she doesn't - what Azriel says.

“There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.”

Sidebar - I've not seen anyone talk about how Cassian was absolutely in the right for defending Nesta. So I did. You can see my soap box here.

Now, back to the point. This is one example of how Az is constantly trying to protect Elain from, well, kinda everything. So, even if Elain did want to do all of those things, would Az even be okay with it? He obviously can't stop her from training or anything like that - and if he tries should she ever want to, he's dead to me. But, would he really share his life with her? Tell her about those 'unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars'? I don't believe he would. I don't believe he could truly handle her working with him because, again, he has put her on this pedestal of beauty and grace and goodness (that she may not have). And the things he does are not good, at least not by his standards. He wouldn't be able to truly include her until he started to look at her as her own person again, which I also don't see happening. And, even then, he still wouldn't want to share with her all he'd done, believing her likely to judge those things, to be too pure to even hear about them. Regardless of whether that is true or not about Elain, it would hinder him from being able to have a true partner in her. When Azriel comes home at night, he would not tell her everything about his day.

Love Yourself, Az

This, I know for a fact, is not a new revelation. I have seen a lot about this, and have seen some posts that even helped me along with this as well, but I can't not address Az's shadows. I would link to the first post I saw about this but, admittedly, I can't find it. So, just know, I'm not the only one thinking this, and I recognize that some of this may come off as similar to others, but I couldn't not talk about this because it just feels so important.

Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They'd always been prone to vanish when she was around.

It wasn't until the Azriel POV chapter that I fully understood what lay behind the fact that Az's shadows would retreat around Elain, when we get a direct comparison to how they react to Gwyn's breath:

"How was the party?" Her breath curled in front of her mouth, and one of his shadows darted out to dance with it before twirling back to him. Like it heard some silent music.

Before this, I didn't realize how bad a sign it is, for his shadows to retreat. I just thought they did that when he was around someone he was attracted to, almost as a sense that the other person lightened him up. But, with this comparison, and in general what we see from Az when around Elain, I see just how wrong I was. His shadows hiding isn't a sign of him lightening up - no, it's a sign of him retreating more into himself, trying to be something that he isn't around that person, in the hopes that they'll accept him if he is.

In the end, it's toxic.

He can't be who he truly is around Elain. That's not something that will lead to a healthy, happy relationship. He may have the girl he thinks he wants, but he won't have the relationship we all know he is desperate for. Whereas, around Gwyn, we see his shadows reach out to another person, jump out, dance with her breath, sing to her. He is able to fully embrace who he is around her. He will be able to be himself with her, love himself with her. And whether or not Gwyn is the right person to him, what this tells us is that Elain can't be that person. That she, like Mor, would be toxic to Az.

On top of that, I can't not point out the word usage here.

While I did observe this on my own, I am not the first to point it out - pagesofmoonlight talks about this in detail, about the usage of the term 'skittered' in regards to how the shadows retreat from Elain. It's not just a general hiding, or even a 'lightening' of Az, as I once thought. It's a gut reaction to her, her breath. They run from her. When I read that word, I literally picture a wave of something, and the shadows seeing it and running from it in fear.

Similarly, in comparison, with Gwyn's breath, the shadows 'darted' out to it. That, also, is not just a general they reached out to it for warmth or contact. Now, they darted - that is a very quick move, often done with a need or desire to get to where you're going as quickly as possible. The shadows needed or wanted to be with that breath, so they darted to it.

Like I said, this post isn't meant to be promoting one ship over Elain and Azriel. But what Gwyn provides here is a comparison, is a sign of what could and should be, whether with her or another person. Even if she isn't endgame, she shows us this problem between Elain and Azriel.

Home is Where You Shine

This entire post, which has become MASSIVE, has been very focused on Azriel, and why Elain is not right for him. But I want to touch on a reason why Az isn't right for Elain.

Azriel is a part of the Night Court. It is his home. It is where he belongs. He fits here, it is right for him. He can and does fine here. I don't think anyone can deny this. But Elain - she does not.

First, let's look at when Nesta is in the Spring Court.

Nesta’s throat constricted, and she surveyed the swaying cherry blossoms overhead. Elain would love this place. So many flowers, all in bloom, so much green—the light, vibrant green of new grass—so many birds singing and such warm, buttery sunshine. Nesta felt like a storm cloud standing amid it all. But Elain … The Spring Court had been made for someone like her.

I'm not saying Elain will end up in the Spring Court, but I do believe it is telling that Nesta would think about another court this way. We've not, to my recollection, really ever seen another character think about how well someone would fit in a different court. Feyre did, if I remember correctly, mention enjoying other courts at times, thinking they were beautiful, but never did she think about how right someone within her court would be in a different court. Because no one else in the Inner Circle would fit so well in another court. For whatever reason it is, everyone else is perfectly suited for the Night Court, and they can handle it.

It takes a lot to be a part of the Night Court. The masks they all wear, the reputation they have, the responsibilities that fall on their shoulders. It's not an insult or an attack on any character to say that they may not fit there, that they may be more in tune with the beauty of Spring, the warmth of Summer, the light of Day. And Elain, who is gentle and kind and not one to pretend to be what she isn't - likely because she's never felt the need to - I can understand how it would be hard.

Secondly, and I know it's a point of contention, and a well-discussed piece of Silver Flames, but I do want to talk about the Solstice Ball, and Cassian's observations.

Elain in black was ridiculous. Yes, she was beautiful, but the color of her long-sleeved, modest gown leeched the brightness from her face. It wore her, rather than the other way around. And he knew the cruelty of the Hewn City troubled her. But she hadn’t hesitated to come. When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed. So Elain had let her golden-brown hair down tonight, and pinned it back with twin combs of pearl. He’d never once in the two years he’d known her found Elain to be plain, but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … It sucked the life from her.

I will try not to go too far into the information about Elain in the black dress, as it's been discussed a lot from both sides, though I do think it is telling, because Cassian isn't just saying it's the one dress. It's very specific about how Elainin black was ridiculous, not that dress. It may seem shallow, but in the end, black is a crucial color in the Night Court, and that type of symbolism is often used to depict things just like this. It would not be the first time, and it certainly won't be the last that a writer uses color this way. However, I have seen a number of posts about this, on both sides, and I do understand both arguments, even if I disagree with one because I don't think it's meant to just be a skewed POV.

I would like to note, however, that the main argument I've seen is that there was once another time Elain was described in a dress that did little to complement her, but it's a very different description. That other time, it's mentioned specifically that the dress and color/shade of the dress did little to complement her 'sallow skin'. First of all, this is specifically discussing how the color didn't work with her skin, not how the color 'drained the life out of her'. Secondly, I would say it is very important to note that 'sallow' means "of a sickly, yellowish or lightish brown color". It is not discussing her skin as it typically is, but how it is when she was in the midst of her own depression after becoming High Fae. It's not that the dress didn't complement her, it's just that it didn't help make her skin look better than the sickly state it was currently in. Whereas, in this reflection, Elain is healthy, and still the black is draining her. Not the dress, not the shade - black. Point blank.

It's also important to recognize that this isn't meant to insult Elain, I believe it is a symbol of how she doesn't shine in the Night Court, how this court could potentially 'suck the life out of her'. Yes, it's just a dress. Yes, there's a chance they wanted her to look plain, but I don't believe that.

They were always going to have Nesta dance with Eris, and they all knew that, despite Elain's beauty, and no matter how lovely she looked, Eris would gravitate to Nesta. He'd already shown interest in her, he'd already become intrigued. He looked at Elain first, I believe, to get a look at his brother's mate. Because he wasn't looking at Elain with interest. No, it was an 'assessing gaze'. There was no reason to make Elain look plain. In fact, there was every reason to make sure she looked just as beautiful as Nesta. Think about what Cassian said just before this:

Both sisters wore black. Both walked behind Rhys and Feyre, a silent indicator that they were a part of the royal family. Had mighty powers of their own. They’d planned it that way, wanting Eris to see for himself how valuable Nesta was.

Why would they want her to look plain, considering this? They wanted Nesta and Elain to walk in the procession behind Feyre and Rhys, as a sign, a symbol. Yes, they wanted Eris to see and understand how valuable Nesta was, as it is said, but they didn't want Elain to look any less valuable. First, doing so would have made Nesta look less valuable by comparison. But, on top of that, I highly doubt they had any fears that Eris would prefer Elain - if they believed Eris about Lucien, then I think they'd believe that Eris wouldn't wish to take away his brother's mate. In fact, I imagine Eris would more likely help Lucien with Elain - but, that just be my Eris stan status coming out.

What is clear is that it was purposeful that they put both Nesta and Elain in black, as a symbol that they are a part of this family. My guess is that they found a dress for Elain that did her the most justice, and that she was comfortable wearing but, in the end, black just doesn't work on her. And is that fact not telling when that is the color of the family?

While this was in draft mode, I also found this post from yazthebookish, who goes deeper into this, and how it wasn't just Cassian who observed how ridiculous Nesta looked in black. So, for those who want to talk about how it is a skewed perspective, there were actually three that made this observation, and I absolutely agree that SJM wouldn't shove this in there solely to say that they purposefully tried to make sure Nesta outshone Elain. As they pointed out, Nesta is gorgeous in her own right. Cassian met her and Elain together, and he was instantly drawn to Nesta. As I mentioned earlier, Eris has been intrigued by her since long before this - see the High Lords meeting in ACOWAR. Helion would gladly get into her leathers, and while I'm aware that's not saying much, his focus on her is slightly higher than you see it on others he would also slide into bed with. She doesn't need Elain to dull herself down to shine.

I also think the one observation about how the black 'wore her' matters. It makes me wonder more about this court, both the general Night Court, and the people in the Inner Circle. Is the court wearing her? Is it sucking the life out of her? Is this why we don't see as much spine from Elain? We got some in this book, but it was all in an attempt to prove she belongs to this court. Something she feels the need to do, as we see in Cassian's reflection:

When Feyre had offered to let her remain home, Elain had squared her shoulders and declared that she was a part of this court—and would do whatever was needed.

…but wearing black, no matter how much she claimed to be part of this court … It sucked the life from her.

First of all, just quickly, I want to mention the ellipses before it says 'it sucked the life from her', and what came right before that. Is Cassian talking about the black? Or is he talking about being a part of this court? I don't have the answer, just food for thought.

I can't help but notice that Elain seems to feel the need to constantly prove, declare, and claim that she is part of this court. She has to push her way through, and while I know it's in part because so many people try to protect her, I think it's more than that. I believe Elain wants to be a part of the Night Court, but in the end it's not suited to her, and so she has to force her way in, when even Nesta, who everyone has been so displeased with, manages to fall in much easier. It's not because they don't like Elain, that's obvious. I believe it's because, in the end, they all see it.

It reminds me a lot of Tywin Lannister's quote from GoT (TV series, I won't read the books until George RR Martin finishes them):

Any man who must say, "I am the King", is no true king.

Could you not adjust this to: "Any person who must say, 'I am part of this court', is not truly part of this court."

I don't think Nesta has once said that. Feyre, maybe, but not in the same way as much as in letting certain people outside the court know. But, to have to say that within the court - it signifies that either you, yourself, don't believe yourself part of the court, or that maybe you aren't truly. Or that you are, but you recognize that maybe it's not the right fit, even if you really want it to be.

In the end, while I don't think Elain can't fit or find a nice life in the Night Court, the final point is that she doesn't shine in the Night Court. And that's not the same as saying she fully doesn't belong. But, shouldn't home be a place where you shine? Where you can be everything you are, and it is absolutely right? Isn't that what Nesta found in Silver Flames, in the House, with Cassian, and Gwyn, and Emerie,…and the House? She didn't have to be anything other than who she was, with any of them, and she still found a place that not only provided her comfort, but where she could truly shine. And she's found it in the Night Court, as well.

Elain hasn't. And maybe that's just because we haven't seen her story play out yet. I'm not so stuck up to believe there's no way I could be wrong. In fact, what bugs me the most about a lot of posts around these different beliefs is the use of 'when' instead of 'if', because no one wants to admit that, at this point in time, no matter what side you're on, it very much is an 'if'. None of us know what SJM has planned. All we can do is use the information we've been given to make as educated a guess as possible. This is mine, and SJM may prove me completely wrong, and that's okay. She may end up giving Elain a more similar arc to Nesta, and show how she develops and grows into someone who flourishes in the Night Court with Az by her side, and should she do that, I hope it's in a way I can understand and not something poorly developed and difficult to grasp.

A Mate is A Mate is A Mate

I won't talk too much about how she and Azriel aren't mates and how that automatically means they couldn't work. It could, in concept. I won't address the theories about her ending up with multiple mates. I do not agree with these theories, as they conflict with the canon we have. Until SJM puts out canon information that can explain a contradiction to what we've been given, any theory that truly contradicts the canon provided I will not consider, whether I like it or not. Multiple mates is not a thing. Being able to sever the mating bond so that someone can have a new mate is not a thing. I do recognize that females can reject the mating bond, and I am not saying whether or not I think Elain should or shouldn't do this with Lucien. Nor am I saying that having a story where someone does reject the mating bond to see how that plays out wouldn't be great.

I will point out, however, that it is often discussed as a thing females do. Females reject the mating bond. Males who have a female that rejected the mating bond grow incredibly uncomfortable, and they truly struggle.

...there will always be a ... tug. For the females, it is usually easier to ignore, but the males ... It can drive them mad.

I'm not going to include all the stuff about males thinking their mate belongs to them. Grow up, Prythian. Get with the program. But, considering this, considering the other pieces we get, I do not know if a male can be with another person, truly, in a loving relationship if he has a mate. Maybe one day, years and years and years after the rejection. Or maybe, if his mate doesn't fit his preferences - if that is a thing (and honestly, we don't yet know the status of same-sex mates, but if they are a thing - please let them be - then I have a harder time believing that those who have specific preferences would end up in a mating pair with the wrong gender).

I am not saying this to say that Elain and Lucien should be together. I am saying this because, considering all these things, right now, canon information essentially tells us that, should Az find his mate, he will go to her, need to be around her. Think about Cassian when Feyre asked why he bothers with Nesta:

Because I can't stay away.

Think about how Lucien couldn't help but try to find Elain, despite direct orders of being told not to. Or about how the second Rhys heard Feyre say 'no' in her mind to Tamlin, he was there to take her away. They just can't help it. The mating bond has a stronger pull on males.

And, maybe Az would be able to deny the bond. To reject it himself, who knows. But, based on everything we've been told, that would be incredibly difficult. And, considering how much he wants what his brothers have, would he want to?

Obviously, there is reason to believe Az does have a mate, and we've met her. And I know some people disagree with this. I would be interested to hear any theories about why he and Gwyn aren't mates, so long as they don't involve Elain. It's not that I have anything against her, it's just that those arguments don't actually point to Gwyn and Az not being mates, just that the person believes Elain and Az belong together regardless, which is not an argument for why they're not mates. But if there are any reasons or signs found in the books and canon information that distinctly point against Gwyn and Az being mates, then I'm open to hearing those points. And, as I mentioned, I do not entertain any canon-conflicting theories, such as the multiple mates one.

As it stands, though, I do think we have been directed toward the idea that Gwyn and Az are mates, and can believe that the mating bond will snap into place. Once it does, I have a hard time believing Az will actually be able to stay away. And that, even if Gwyn ends up rejecting that bond, I don't know that he'll be able to be with Elain after it, knowing Elain isn't his first choice.

Final Thoughts

Like I said earlier, I'm not against Elain rejecting the mating bond, or anyone doing so. I will say this, though - how much more powerful would it be to have someone reject the mating bond not because they wish to be with someone else, but just because they do not wish to be with that person? Is it not more empowering to see a female (or male, if they can do it) choose to be single, and live their life as they are solely because they just do not wish to be with that person? Instead of it being more of an, 'well, it's just, I'd rather be with him'. Sadly, I do not think Elain is set up to be that person. Gwyn could, potentially, be, though I'll admit I don't believe it, considering the attention Gwyn pays to him. But I do think it's worth noting that, in my opinion, the mating bond can be rejected even if there is not another male in the picture.

However, despite all the questions and uncertainties, until we get answers, this is my personal view, based on what I've seen in the books, and how I've interpreted it. I personally feel that, regardless of who I hope ends up with whom, SJM has placed a number of clues and hints to show that Elain and Azriel aren't meant to be together, that they wouldn't be right together. And that, if they were to be together, the relationship would likely be unhealthy, and potentially toxic.

---------------------

This post is also not meant to insult or attack Elain in any way, nor Azriel. Nor am I trying to insult or attack those who ship them together. We are all welcome to our own opinions. I promise to respect yours, please respect mine.

#acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #sarah j mass #azriel #elain archeron #nesta archeron #cassian #feyre archeron #rhysand #gwyn berdara #lucien #gwynriel #elucien #anti elriel

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stylesluxx · 4 years ago

Text

9:41pm – p.lahote

[warnings: angst but eh and like two swears and horrible writing]

summary: in which y/n distances herself from paul in an attempt to protect him | requested!

word count: 4,539

masterlist

Being best friends with Bella Swan meant you were always in a state of worry. You were worried she'd trip over air and fall into the middle of oncoming traffic, or she'd stab herself with a plastic spoon and Jasper Hale would cause a scene in the middle of the lunchroom. And it's not like you had anything against the Cullens, you were all good friends, but you knew how Jasper could get. And it also didn't help that your boyfriend, Paul's, words were always in the back of your mind about the "leeches." But you knew the Cullens first and knew not to judge them too harshly.

Bella Swan shook up the town of Forks, whether she recognized it or not. You grew up in Forks, loved the quietness and scenery. You weren't too excited to have to leave for college but figured you'd find somewhere that was similar to your hometown. You were pretty quiet and kept to yourself and maybe that's why you and Bella got along so well. But once she befriended you and introduced you to the Cullens, you figured you were entering the new normal.

It had slipped out when Bella was talking in her sleep during a sleepover that the Cullens were supernatural beings and it was a well-known fact that your friend wasn't a good liar. So when you confronted her about it and she was stammering, not giving you a real answer, you just gave her a knowing look.

"I won't tell anyone. I mean, you'd be the only person I tell," You shrugged and she nodded.

"It's a complicated thing, but I trust you. Just... don't think about it around Edward."

You looked at her warily before just nodding your head in agreement.

Of course, Edward already knew thanks to Alice and both you and Bella had to deal with Rosalie's death stare, which bumped her down to being your least favorite Cullen.

And when they left town and left a hole in your best friend, you and Jacob picked her back up and put the pieces together as best as you could, but deep down, you knew only Edward would be able to fix her completely.

And then, Jacob left. You were hurt by this since you two had grown closer. He was like yours and Bella's little brother and him disappearing like how your vampire friends did was painful.

The second time Bella went to confront the boy, you went for moral support. Your arms crossed over your chest as you stood behind Bella, who patiently greeted Billy Black.

"I can't believe this brat is sleeping," You scoffed, but Bella was already out the room, ready to confront the group of guys that just walked on the Black property.

"Bella, no," You called out while following her onto the grass.

"What did you do?"

You reached to grab her arm, ready to go home, but she yanked it out of your grip.

"What did you do? What did you do to him?" She angrily questioned who you assumed to be Sam Uley, pushing him roughly.

He looked exactly how Jacob described; aged beyond his years. He had copper skin, brown eyes, and was about 6'6". Almost as tall as Jacob. And he had the same tattoo Bella said Jacob had.

You looked at the other three boys and they had the same one in the same spot. You recognized Embry, giving him a weird look before turning your attention back to the raging girl in front of you.

"What did we do? What did he do? What'd he tell you?" The boy that spoke was menacing and looked at Bella as if she were below him. He was intriguing despite his demeanor, but deep down you knew he was just bad luck.

"Bella-" You started but were ignored.

"Nothing! He tells us nothing because he's scared of you," She responds, making the boys in front of you laugh.

You had enough at this point. It was already enough Bella was ignoring you but now being laughed at, you were over it. They weren't necessarily laughing at you but what Bella said was exactly how you felt as well. It felt as if they were invalidating your worry.

"Oh fuck off!" You scoffed, though you weren't spared a glance from the boy. You went to reach for the keys in Bella's coat pocket but were taken aback by her swinging her arm back and slapping the menacing boy.

The muscular, six-foot boy went from shaking with laughter to shaking with anger, causing your eyes to widen.

"It's too late now!" Laughed the boy to your left but his comment and Sam's warning fell on deaf ears.

"Isabella!" You spoke sternly, grabbing her arm and slowly backing away from the group.

The boy in front of you disappeared and in his spot, a huge, dark silver wolf stood. If you knew nothing about the supernatural world, you could've sworn this was a nightmare but once you saw his eyes, you knew it was the same boy.

You and Bella turned around, facing the Black house as you started running, losing your hold on her.

"Bella! Y/N!" The brat, as you called him, shouted, jumping off his porch and running toward you.

"Run! Jake run!" Bella screamed, attempting to warn him, but he kept running ahead with no intention of slowing down.

She jumped over Bella as she clumsily tumbled to the ground, making you groan and turn to pull her up. But in the midst of trying to rescue your friend, you see the other turn into a russet brown wolf, standing taller than the silver one.

"It's always something when I'm with you, I'll give you that," You mumbled and watched the two wolves go at each other, breaking Billy's boat and tumbling into the woods.

"Take them back to Emily's place," Sam directed the remaining two before running into the woods.

"Guess the wolf's out of the bag."

You rolled your eyes at the corny joke as you pulled Bella to her feet.

"The next time I say we leave, let's just leave, yeah?" You huffed and started toward the big red truck.

You arrived at the small brown home in the middle of the woods and you sighed, still trying to take in the events that happened less than 10 minutes ago.

Embry and the other boy jumped out of the truck, leaving you and Bella in the two-seat truck, her on your lap.

"Hey, I think we should go back and see if Jacob's okay," Bella suggested as she rolled down the window.

Honestly, you weren't thinking about the well-being of either of the boys. But instead, you replayed the whole interaction with the silver wolf before he changed. You have to ask Jacob what his name was, but casually so he wouldn't try to tease you about a crush.

"Have Paul sink some teeth in him. Serves him right!"

So the menacing one's name was Paul. You nodded as you took the information and set up a folder for him in your head.

They were talking about some bet before stopping and turning to look at the two of you in the truck.

"Come on in guys, we won't bite!" Embry called, giving you two a boyish smile making you chuckle. You always thought he was adorable, like a little baby you wanted to squish.

"I know we're a bit shaken up, but come on Bells, with the other people we hang out with, we really aren't in the position to hesitate," You said, patting her thigh as encouragement.

She got out of the car and you followed behind, giving Embry a small smile.

"You know, I liked you better with long hair," You teased the lanky boy as you walked up the steps to the house.

"Gotta keep it short so my fur isn't too long," He answered with a grin on his face, walking behind you. "Oh hey, about Emily, Sam's fiancée: don't stare. It bugs Sam."

"Why would we stare?" You questioned before walking inside the house, immediately met with warmth and the smell of muffins.

"You guys hungry? Like I have to ask," You heard the melodic voice tease the boys.

"Who's this?" She asked after looking up and giving both you and Bella a smile.

"Y/N Y/L/N and Bella Swan. Who else?" Jared introduced you two as he sat at the table.

"Hm, so you're the vampire girls?" Emily teased.

"Ehhh, I'm more neutral territory," You chuckled, hoping to help ease Bella so she could take over talking for now.

"So you're... the wolf girl?" Bella added on, after thinking a bit for a comeback. "Guess so- well, I'm engaged to one."

You watched as Embry sat and Emily brought the fresh muffins over to the table. The boys immediately reached out for them.

"Save some for your brothers. And ladies first. Muffin?"

You looked over at Bella and nodded as she mumbled a quick "sure."

You grabbed a muffin hesitantly (you didn't want to overstep even though you were offered one).

You zoned out as Bella talked to Emily and the boys, and you settled on thinking about "Paul." You replayed the interaction and how he kept his fierce brown eyes on Bella, his target. Why was he so defensive about whatever Jacob did or didn't say? The way his emotions changed so quickly gave you whiplash. He went from being defensive to laughing and then pissed (which you don't blame him for, Bella shouldn't have slapped him). You knew this wasn't someone that you would necessarily enjoy being around. He just seems loud and like he can never just have a relaxed moment; he's fueled off of his emotions. But you couldn't help but think about his brown eyes, tanned skin, and toned body. You couldn't stop yourself from picturing a quiet day in with him, staying on the couch and watching movies all day. In this dream, you had tamed him and he was relaxed and just wanted to be up under you all day.

You were taken away by your thoughts when Sam walked in, though you were hoping it was Paul. You frowned when you realized who it was and just watched as he walked over to Emily and started kissing her.

You put your head down, not wanting to watch their intimate moment, but your cheeks began to flush because only moments ago you wished it was you and Paul. You looked over at Bella and saw she was looking down too, causing you to grab her hand and squeeze. That was your small attempt at pushing Edward out of her mind.

Yours and Bella's heads both snapped toward the door as your heard footsteps move toward the house. You watched Jacob playfully shove Paul and laugh before they came up the stairs and into the house.

Paul walked by the two of you and sat at the table, grabbing a muffin.

He turned to look at Bella and said, "sorry" with a cocky smirk on his face.

He turned back to eat his muffin but Jacob cleared his throat and crossed his arms over his chest while he leaned on the doorway.

"To Y/N too," He told Paul sternly, making the boy sigh.

"Oh that's alright-" You started but you were cut off by the sound of Paul inhaling sharply.

He was looking in your eyes, getting really to apologize before he inhaled and his eyes widened in shock.

You blinked uncomfortably as he sat there silently eyeing you. It wasn't how he was looking at Bella earlier, you weren't a target, but you were all he could focus on. You chuckled shyly and used one hand to scratch the back of your neck and used the other to squeeze Bella's hand tightly.

It was then that you noticed that the whole room went silent, making you even more flustered.

"Um, can we talk, Jake?" Bella initiated the conversation, giving you an exit, which you were thankful for.

He hesitantly nodded, tearing his eyes from Paul and focusing on the two of you looking at him, practically begging for an escape route.

"Thank you so much for the muffin," You softly smiled at Emily as you and Bella walked toward the door. You gave everyone a wave and gave Paul one last glance before shutting the door behind you.

The three of you started walking, but it was a while before anyone said anything. You were still flustered by Paul freezing up at the sight of you. It was weird, but still, not the weirdest thing to happen today.

"So... what the fuck was that?" You blurted out, pulling yourself out of your thoughts.

"So, you're a werewolf," Bella said at the same time, hands in her pockets as if this were a normal conversation.

"Last time I checked," He sighed, avoiding your question. "Few lucky members from the tribe have the gene. A bloodsucker moves into town... and the fever sets in."

"Mono," Bella raised her eyebrows, chuckling at his pathetic lie.

"Yeah, I wish."

"Well, can't you find a way to just stop? I mean... it's wrong."

Oh, here we go, the morality police.

"It's not a lifestyle choice, Bella."

"Bella, he literally said it was in his genes," You interjected, giving her a weird look.

You three had stopped walking, and you and Jacob turned to look at the girl who wanted to play God.

You loved Bella, you really did, but she was dating a vampire. You thought it was weird she was trying to police Jacob.

"I was born this way; I can't help it," Jacob continued. "You're such a hypocrite! What, I'm not the right kind of monster for you?"

You silently agreed with Jacob, nodding your head.

"It's not what you are... it's what you do," Bella attempted to argue. "They never hurt anybody. You've killed people, Jake."

"Mmh, but didn't- never mind," You shook your head, deciding not to get involved.

"Bella, we're not killing anyone."

"Then who is?"

"What we're trying to protect you people from. The only thing we do kill. Vampires."

"No, Jake, you can't-"

"Don't worry, we can't touch your little precious Cullens unless they violate the treaty."

You were bored of the conversation and tuned out, trying to kick around a rock that was stuck in the sand.

Had this been any other time, you would've been intrigued but you only wanted answers to your question. What happened the fuck happened with Paul?

"So... you're not gonna answer my question?" You asked once the two sorted everything out.

"That's something you have to talk to Paul about," Jacob answered, making you roll your eyes.

"Okay, well, you know how I get weird around new people. I was weird with you for like a month," You frowned.

"I don't think it's gonna be anything like that. It'll feel natural to be around him."

"Right."

You sat at the lunch table between Bella and Mike Newton as Alice talked about throwing a graduation party at the Cullen residence.

"Another party, Alice?"

"It'll be fun," She spoke optimistically, making her smile.

"Yeah, that's what you said last time," Bella huffed, making you nudge her.

"Well, I'm excited, Alice," You spoke up, giving her a small smile that she returned.

But the smile was quickly wiped off her face as she zoned out and sat back in the chair. Edward turned his head, seemingly zoning out as well, causing you and Bella to turn toward the regular teens next to you, hoping to distract them.

"Hey, Angela?"

"Yeah?”

"Do you need some help with those?" Bella asked as you both reached over to look at whatever she was working on.

You and Bella both shared a look of concern before turning back and helping your friend.

At the end of the school day, you and Bella walked out of the school together, you looking for Paul's truck and her looking for Edward.

You spotted your boyfriend pulling in, and you turned to face Bella, gripping onto the straps of your backpack.

"When Edward spills, fill me in," You told her, making her nod.

"Definitely. I think you're the only one that can communicate with the pack right now. Jacob isn't talking to me so... if anything were to happen, only you could tell them."

You nodded sullenly, hoping it wasn't something that needed the pack's attention. You were hoping it wasn't something big.

Paul pulled up right in front of you, greeting Bella politely, making you smile.

"See you tomorrow, Bells," You promised as you opened the truck door and got in.

"Hi Lover," You greeted your boyfriend and leaned over to peck his lips.

"Hi Little Wolf," He smiled and helped you take your backpack off. He set it in the backseat next to his before pulling out of the parking lot.

He drove from the school to Emily's house, grabbing your bags out of the backseat once you arrived.

You two would do this every day after school: go to Emily's and do homework with the news playing in the background just in case.

"Hi, Em!" You greeted the woman that seemed to be making a bunch of pasta for dinner. "Would you like some help?"

"No, I'm okay. Go get some work done," Emily assured you, and you nodded, going into the living room.

You greeted the boys and wrapped Jacob in your arms. "Hi Brat," You teased and pinched his back.

"Hey," He chuckled and pulled you into a headlock. "Missed me?"

"I saw you yesterday. You better stop before I get Paul to beat you up," You said and pushed him away. "I hate you."

"You don't."

You playfully rolled your eyes before sitting next to Paul on the couch and pulling your homework out of your bag.

"He's so annoying," You mumbled to your boyfriend and rested your head on his shoulders.

"Tuh, I already knew that," He scoffed and kissed the top of your head.

You sighed and started working on your biology homework, tuning everything out until you felt Paul tightly grip your hand.

"What?" You asked, looking up at him before turning to the tv.

The news anchor was talking about all the disappearances in Seattle, and because you knew what you knew, you knew it was something that the pack and the Cullens would have to get involved in.

You frowned and returned Paul's squeeze, quickly growing worried. Is this was Alice's vision was about earlier? Did they know about this? Did they have a plan?

Once the news transitioned to the weather forecast, nobody moved a muscle. You figured they were in shock or were trying to figure out a plan

"Alice had a vision today, at lunch. We're just waiting for Edward to spill," You spoke up and turned to look up at Paul, examining his face.

His face was serious but scrunched with determination until he turned to look back at you. He let the tenseness fall away and gave you a small smile to try to get you to relax.

"I don't want more people getting hurt," You mumbled.

"We're gonna do what we can to protect Forks. Hopefully, it stays in Seattle, but until this dies down we're going to do more patrolling. We can't afford to slack off," Sam spoke sternly.

Paul turned and nodded at his alpha's words but pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly, as if you were to vanish.

The next day, you were walking to the cafeteria with Bella and Edward, and you knew you had to say something before you got to the table.

"It was about the Seattle thing, wasn't it?" You asked the two, clutching onto the books in your hands. "The pack plans on doing more strict patrols."

It was silent for a moment, both of them hesitating to speak.

"What is it?" You sighed, prepared to hear the worst.

"It was about you, Y/N," Bella said then but her lip tentatively.

"What about me?"

"We didn't want to tell you because we didn't want you to worry-"

"But it was only right," Bella cut off her boyfriend, making your eyes furrow in confusion.

You stopped walking, and so did they. You guys let the hallway clear out before Bella continued talking.

"I've told you about Victoria."

"Yeah, and Jacob told us the pack killed her friend with the dreads," You nodded, but you still didn't understand where this was going and what it had to do with you. "What does she have to do with me, or anything for that matter?"

"For some reason, she has her eyes set on you. I was able to talk to Paul when he left your house after dropping you off last night. We agreed to take turns watching you," Edward broke the news to you as calmly and gently as he could.

From the corner of your eye, you could see both Alice and Jasper waiting outside of the cafeteria. It explained why you weren't freaking out, but you wondered what it would be like once you weren't around him. You knew you'd try to stay calm for Paul's sake, but what happens when you get home and you're alone in your room? Will it all hit you then, or will it already be bottled by then?

"Well, what's new, I guess? Forks is in mortal danger, and the supernatural has come together to save the town," You huffed and slapped your hands on your thighs before blowing a raspberry in the air. "Can we grab lunch now?"

Bella and Edward shared a look while you walked ahead, going into the cafeteria.

The day dragged on longer than it usually did, but you were one of the first people out of the building. You didn't even wait for Bella at her locker like you usually do. But you concluded because of what was happening that Paul was waiting outside for you. You figured he was sitting there at least 10 minutes before you got out of class.

Once you were out the school doors, you felt yourself growing tenser. You were out of Jasper's reach, and your emotions were finally starting to hit you.

"Hi, Little Wolf," Paul greeted you, trying to act like everything was normal. He hated making you worry, and you knew that.

"Hey," Your response was short, and you didn't even look in his direction. You kept your eyes on your lap.

"I'm not your Lover?" He teased, pulling out of the school parking lot.

"I just wanna go straight home today," You mumbled.

"The leech told you-"

"Bella told me. I don't want to argue, Paul. I think it's best if I go home."

He wanted to argue, you could tell by the way he was gripping the steering wheel that he disagreed with your decision, but just like you, he didn't want to argue. So, he took you home, no questions asked.

And when you were getting out of the car, you told him you'd drive yourself to and from school tomorrow.

"Y/N-"

"Just until this whole situation dies down. I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me, especially you," You said, and shut the door behind you once you got out of the car, leaving no space for him to argue.

You gave him one last smile before walking inside your house and locking the door once you shut it.

In the evening, you were at your desk completing homework, but you were still so paranoid. Your eyes looked out the window, searching for anything in the trees that might be a threat to you. But there was no threat, just a dark silver wolf laying in between the trees, keeping watch.

You frowned, feeling bad that you were pushing him away, but you didn't want him to get mixed up in your mess. You felt ten times safer with him watching you, but you knew he had to be exhausted; after a long day of school and patrol, who would want to stay up all night being a guard dog?

You moved away from your desk, deciding it was time for bed. You took a shower and did your night routine before laying in bed, pulling the covers over your body.

You didn't get much sleep that night. You didn't get much sleep for the next two weeks. It was hard being without Paul and your friends. You were so scared about something happening in your sleep that you were barely getting any. And the fact that you haven't been face-to-face with Paul in weeks put a real strain on you. Your physical and mental health was all messed up. The separation was difficult, but not being able to explain any of this to your parents made it much harder. You had no one to talk to, and you know you did it to yourself, but the well-being of your friends and family always came first, so you wanted to stick it out despite how you felt.

For two weeks, you stayed alert, listening to every noise, watching every shadow, though your paranoia made most of it up.

But this time, you knew you heard a sound and it made you shoot out of bed. Not hesitating, you reached for your phone and called Paul. You didn't see him resting by the trees when you got up to go shower. You assumed that he was finally getting some rest and now you felt even worse about calling him; the day he decided to get some rest, you were interrupting him.

He didn't answer the phone, which you expected, but you still opened the window in your bedroom, letting the cold air blow through. He'd let himself in once he got there.

You didn't expect him to get there as quickly as he did. It had only been three minutes of you biting your nails anxiously and staying far away from your door.

He came through your door fully clothed and immediately pulled you into his arms, warming up your freezing body and calming your nerves.

"Were you asleep? Where were you? You weren't here," You bombarded him with questions as you dug your face into his chest.

"I was just running a bit late. I was already on my way when you called. Why did you call?" He asked, rubbing your back soothingly.

"I'm sorry, I just- it's already so hard being away from you, and I've been scared, and I thought I heard something downstairs. I don't know," You rambled and held onto your boyfriend's waist tightly.

"If it were a leech, you probably wouldn't have even heard them coming. It was probably just your dad grabbing a snack or something. You know he's always up for a snack," He assured you before kissing the top of your head.

"Yeah, that's true," You quietly giggled and let all your worry dissipate. You kept your head resting on his chest as he rocked your two back and forth. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too. Let's never separate again."

"Agreed."

[AN: hey so, I didn't know what to name this so I just named it off of the time it was requested. anyway, I kinda don't like this so uh yeah]

#stylesluxx #paul lahote #twilight #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #twilight x reader #twilight imagine #wolf pack imagine #paul lahote angst #Paul Lahote blurb #paul lahote fluff #twilight blurb

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