#or his soldiers going through it

[litnerdwrites]

Cassian: I'm sick of these games.

Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that trauma was a game to you. If it's so easy to just stop being traumatised, then you should've said something to Elain about that a whole book ago? Or perhaps said something to Mor 5 centuries ago. Since Cassian made it clear 50 times a day that he's 'seen it before' and 'knows what she's feeling' or whatever, he must clearly be the expert on the situation. Imagine how much easier life will be now that everyone can just stop being traumatised.

Let's be serious for a moment though, if it was that easy, Cassian might have actually stopped making himself the victim in every scenario regarding Nesta throughout all of ACOFAS and ACOSF.

The fact SJM wrote it so Cassian, who said shit like this, was the one in the right the whole time in ACOSF makes me wanna puke.

[anonomi]

Compilation of merc handwriting I could find across the update logs. So far could find Spy, Sniper, Engineer (I believe that's his handwriting), and Soldier (either he got Spy to write it for him or he is actually really good at calligraphy). I could also add Saxton Hale but his handwriting is literally everywhere lol

Correction: It's actually Miss Pauling, not Soldier. Misread "It's" as "Hi" I still believe in Soldier's secret talent however

[befuddled-calico-whump]

thinking about a whumpee on a forced march through rough terrain

hands tied in front of them, on foot while their captors are mounted, sleeping out in the open, forced to beg for adequate food and water

maybe they're barefoot, a captured royal in silken robes

maybe they're in a torn suit or soldier's uniform

maybe they were stripped at the start, increasing the exposure to the elements, the humiliation

are they a terrified mess from the beginning, or do they try to endure with dignity? how long before they're stumbling, barely putting one foot in front of the other? how long before they fall?

[obiiow]

I know the whole thing with eren growing his hair out was because he just didn’t care anymore but I like to think it’s because his mom always told him his ears turn red when he lies and he was about to spend the rest of his life lying to everyone he loved 🥹

[turrondeluxe]

Ronin Mikey and turtle babies AU!!!

[s0fter-sin]

ghost stares at the ceiling, chest heaving in a harsh pant; sweat ice on his clammy flesh and soaked into the sheet he restlessly kicks away.

ears still ringing, his fingertips blindly drift down to trail along his vivisection scar. he half-expects blood to smear in their wake. his own line of solomon, who ordered him split in twain; half of him given to a grieving mother and half left with the grieving to be.

just for both his broken halves to be rejected.

what did it make him that his mother grieved him more than she loved him? that she begged to be relieved of him more adamantly than she begged to receive him? why did his worth spill out with his drawn blood? why was his pain lesser than hers?

his hand flexes, digging into the raised scar like it’ll part beneath his fingertips to plunge into his mangled insides. no one knows the cruelty of reforming the halved; his name, his being, not nearly as important as his body when he was stripped from himself. no one knows the pain of healing and understanding losing pieces of yourself means losing your value along with them.

how many more pieces did he have to lose before he was halved once more? before his very presence incurred grief so strong it was better to be rid of him than cradle his bloodied remains?

did the infant fight himself? did he age always at odds with himself; his halves never truly whole? he hopes he wasn’t, that he was spared the loss of self; the fear that one may be welcomed over the other.

who will he lose when the inevitable comes? when he’s ripped apart again? simon? or ghost? is it better to be cursed with choice just like his mother or live with an aftermath chosen for him? does it matter if in the end, he convinces himself there was nothing of him left to lose?

his head lolls to the side and the wild buck of his chest slows. he watches johnny beside him, his face lax with the rare peace of sleep; his cheek squished against the pillow, his lips pursed as long breaths escape him.

johnny. soap. never torn asunder but two all the same.

he carefully reaches out and ghosts his fingers along the jagged scar on his chin. even in sleep, he presses into his bloodied touch. he’s never fled his half-flesh, never shies away from his gore as it spills unbidden from his cleaved torso. he holds on where his mother let him go; cups his stomach to hold his insides in place and never minds the blood that drips through his fingers.

simon will never let him become his own solomon and cannibalise himself. he will never let him question which half of him has more value; which pieces he can afford to lose before he’s cast aside.

ghost’s soap. simon’s johnny. his.

whole, in any incarnation.

[crustyfloor]

This scene of Till innocently peaceful with such a big smile feels incomplete to me after the events of round 7--But more true to his character rather than a comic with his final thoughts like Sua and Ivan had, it's cruel, brief, like a flashback, and it's bittersweet. Till is probably going to be reserved and ambiguous till the end. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to think about and reflect on his regrets and traumas; that's Till's principle; living in stubborn, childish beliefs, and in those truths, he finds escape into solace, even if it's unlike his reality, it's how he copes enough to make everything bearable for the next day to come. This image feels like a reflection, a memory of when he was happier in life. In Till's final moments, he thought about his and Mizi's childhood, the moment he fell in love with her was when she smiled at him with such radiance, the same moment, he felt like his heart was reborn; it was like he could breathe and smile solely for her. Till thinks back to these moments, these fleeting moments of peace because he can't let them go, he can't let go of the comfort of that familiarity.

--"Oh in a blink Gone. Blink and Gone, relish the present."

This image does bring me back to a lot of lyrics in Round 7. But this one in particular, a line that talks about living in the present before the moment slips between your fingers, in a blink, gone. But Till lives in the past.

Till doesn't think back to round 1 when he killed that alien guitar for Mizi, even though it was fully his decision, even though it was so gratifying seeing "Till win" and Mizi's acknowledgment, do you think he would have done that if he wasn't desperate and just doing what he felt like he had to do to survive? Because he had to stay by Mizi's side in her darkest moment like she was the one beacon of hope and happiness for him?

Till only suffers when he thinks back to round 6. When he's reminded of regret and pain. So, he represses the very memory of it to protect himself, he can't bring himself to even acknowledge it at all until he's forced to, when the aliens were intimidating him with Mizi's missing poster, he fights back out of anger. Just having that weakness, his guilt, and his grief used against him feels like a different kind of collar. Till thinks back to these warm, intangible memories of his childhood because life on stage was never something he could make his own, he didn't want to live for anything Alien Stage offered him, power, fame, etc. Despite his passion for music, Till is gentle and emotional at heart. This throne that is elevated high by bloodied corpses, a life living stagnant and trapped under the suffocating palm of an Alien, at the very top but inexplicably expendable, was never Till's vision of a life worth living. That's why he fought like hell for the life he wanted, for the life that he could've had. It really drives the point home when his final thoughts were centered around those moments when he was the happiest in his life.

It is so hard to feel the beauty, the warmth, in this image when everything around him is inauthentic, and it's off-putting because of the underlying details, especially since because of his gown, this scene might have taken place after one of those experiments or 'classes' it's a very subtle reminder of their reality. But his smile is so real in the moment without the collar, without the pain... he looks so carefree and full of life

And he scrunches his nose when he laughs *gets shot*

[eastbluecrewed]

things you can't get back

aka i've been waiting so patiently to see kidd get his ass beat by shanks (affectionate)

[sholmeser]

so like it’s 1999 and solid snake is in zanzibar land and gray fox tells you that all he can do is fight. it’s all he has and it’s probably all you’re ever going to have, too, because deep down you know your father is right, you know he is right as you click the lighter and burn the flesh off his skin, you know he is right when he tells you, this will never go away. i am always going to be a part of you. it’s 2005 and solid snake is in shadow moses island, alaska and gray fox tells you that’s good, snake. hit me harder. do it more. that’s good. when you meet meryl you kill the guards, and then snake thinks he loves her, so you kill psycho mantis for her, ocelot tortures you and you withstand it for her, you beat liquid to a pulp for her and while his blood is on your fists he smiles and tells you that you two, you’ll always be the same. gray fox means violence means meryl means violence, so what’s love if not that? what is it if not the feeling of broken bones under your knuckles, if not the smell of your father’s burnt flesh? but she's too young, she doesn’t understand you and she couldn’t if she tried, because she’s eighteen years old and doesn’t know any better and doesn’t understand that after you sleep with her you’re going to get up and let the pillow grow cold, she thinks you’ll tell her everything and when you don’t, because you can’t, she’ll leave you. you kill him with your fists and for her you destroy shadow moses and you hear him say to you again that’s good, snake, that feels good, do it harder. but it isn’t a coincidence that in mgs1 you meet otacon at the same time you meet gray fox. otacon who is so scared of battle he pisses his pants and otacon who cries over a woman who could never love him back and otacon who thinks good people like dogs, kind people like dogs, otacon who passed you a meal, ready-to-eat and a bottle of ketchup across the bars of your cell and when you ask him why the fuck are you here if you cant help me he says to you, i thought you might be hungry. otacon who gives you her handkerchief that was once her mother's and will be hers once again when she dies, when you rest it atop her glazed-over irises, a cycle of love. she was a good person, snake, and so are you. she liked the wolves and you do too. otacon who cries over his baby sister’s little body, who blames himself for being seventeen years old under the touch of the woman who should have been his mother. otacon who when it's 2014 will make you the solid eye and the octocamo suit and the mk. ii to keep you safe and say to you, don't hurt anyone, snake. will say to you: i'll follow you wherever you go, like this. otacon who blubbers like a baby and cries too much and who, when it's 2009 in new york city, you have to say to, go rescue the hostages, because if you don’t he’s going to crumple in on himself, a dying star. this is how you love, you don’t say to him, and how i love, because you showed me how. wrap your arms around his shoulders and hope it’s enough.

[hihello-idraw]

My indecisive ass can't choose what person to ship Kakashi or Naruto with so! Polyamory it is then!

[fujii-draws]

So a comment under one of pmd2’s ost songs may or may have not rewired my brain a bit to assign certain instruments to a certain three.

[budd-ie]

Actually what I love most about hualian is that by the time of "if you don't know what to live for then live for me" they had already had many meetings and moments together, and while that one moment may have solidified his resolve and his purpose, it may have never actually come to that point had xie lian not caught him from the wall, had he not saved him from qi rong, had he not told qi rong off and punished him, had he not stood up for him every time someone spoke against him, had he not held him so warmly, had he not talked to him so gently, had not reassured him so genuinely, had he not protected him time and time again, yknow? Ever since they met they kept meeting by chance and it might have even felt like Xie Lian was looking out for him specifically, even if it was just a coincidence and he would have done it for anyone else. Hong-er is crazy enough to do whatever he wants on a whim, but this wasn't like a split second decision Xie Lian was already like a lifeline to him at this point, and he took his chance and asked his question to a statue in a shrine he may have never cared about had they never met. He may not have really expected an answer and was just asking with a last desperate hope to find any reason to keep going on, but he got an answer from that one and only person in the world who he would ever trust. That trust was built stronger every single time they met and it all led up to that point. If hong-er had asked that question without the pretext of their previous meetings, would he still devote his life? Maybe, but it's not easy to say yes definitely. If it had been anyone else, would they also devote their life? That's also entirely possible, but it wasn't anybody else. It's three parts fate and seven parts courage, and again, Hong-er is crazy enough to do whatever he wants on a whim, so he chose life with the rest of his courage. In short, when we say their story is so specific to them, I really do believe that it could quite literally only happen to them specifically and no one else given their situation. If Xie Lian didn't have such a strong sense of justice and love of all people, if hong-er wasn't so desperate, reactive, or strong-willed, if either of them weren't just so damn stubborn, I honestly think none of these events could play out the same way and/or be as impactful on them. It really couldn't have been just any crown prince and any beggar kid, it could really have only been them.

[junction-draws]

So... I've been on a Steven universe kick lately. I was waiting for the right time to rewatch it, and my life kind of exploded five times within three months so. Felt like a good time to revisit something that already saved me once. Anyways, first sketch is from last night and second one is from a little over eight years ago, when I was 12. It's the first Steven universe drawing in my very first sketchbook, and I wanted to do a redraw to see how much I've improved. This is kinda sappy, but I think 12 year old me would be so, so proud and happy

tbh I've got a bunch of art I've been sitting on but my brain literally hates me so. I'll get it posted. eventually. yall know how i am by now LOL

[froggie-at-home]

alabaster can hide food with his magic and carry it around in his cards. it's way better than any fridge, because food is always hot and fresh like it was just cooked. he always has some on him so he doesn't have to worry about getting starved, like he how did before he joined TA.

will was sick and malnourished when he got kicked out of CHB. he was the only medic with good enough training and who could heal at camp since manhattan happened, so he was always overworking himself. his younger siblings weren't great at healing and apollo wasn't responding to them, so he was the only healer that about twenty kids a day would visit. chiron wasn't always here to help either.

so when al found will he was more than happy to share his food. after traveling and staying together at keeseville for months will recovered back to perfect health and was happier than ever, not having to use his powers every minute a day to save another kid who got their head open falling off the lava wall.

bonus: will knows how to cook thanks to lee (who grew up looking after his little cousins and his sick grandma), so alabaster saves up fresh fruit, vegetables and sometimes meat so will can get something ready for them. it's like a coping mechanism to him, something to get his hands busy with when he gets that itch, when his hands get a little too hot.

(al tried to help him cook, but he almost burnt down the kitchen while kneading the dough. even claymore was disappointed.)

[sparrowstarsandsorrow]

You ain't no firing squad, you piece of shit!

[s0fter-sin]

thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage

you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out

"i'm calling shepherd"

his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books; to go up the chain and sort it out democratically. that goes against everything we've seen him do; he’s quick to drop his enemies and bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns

he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer

there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends

nothing's happened yet

it doesn't have to go this way

but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy

he doesn't hesitate

it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from

only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat

and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for

"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"

he's learned the price of trust

just like ghost did

but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath

"good advice, It"