#or fucking. rolling his eyes

[lokh]

auhfhrhfhhgh having an idea but Knowing the character would never ever do it.

[laniidae-passerine]

positively obsessed with how Rockstar Lestat is the exact kind of guy one of my friends would show me a picture of and swear he’s really sexy and cool and brilliant. Whole time I’m thinking “oh dear GOD” staring at a trainwreck weirdo and wondering what’s happened to everybody else that is absolutely missing me. jesus christ he’s blond

[yeyinde]

I really need Simon to fuck my throat

yeah. oh, yeah. like, fucks your throat so raw you have to call in sick the next day. fishermen friend's + tamarack tea + honey, ginger, lemon and tumeric on rotation because he likes to grab you by the scruff of your neck, feed his cock into you until his head hits the back, and just grind. loves it when you can't talk the next day, when your voice is hoarse and reedy. gets off more on listening to people coo at you. poor thing, you sound so awful. you must be sick, then, eh? be sure to drink plenty -

and yeah, you have. because when he wants to fuck your face, when he wants your mouth on his cock, he makes a feast out of it. an all day event. cums once on your tongue, down your throat, over your face. your chest.

makes a mess out of from the beginning. pulls out after sinking in as deep as he can go, and then slaps his cock across your cheeks, the bridge of your nose. getting you wet with pre-cum and spit. mockingly tilts his head and tells you how pretty you look with cum dripping down your cheeks.

brushes his thumb over the bulge of your cheeks, feels himself through the skin. it seems soft on its face, but you know Simon by now. it's a warning. he speeds up until his balls are slapping against your chin hard enough to sting. pushes you down, down, down until the thick patch of coarse hair at the base tickles your nose. keeps going, too, until every inch is swallowed down. holds you like that, hand pinching the skin of your nape, and grinds his cock into your mouth until your hands slap his thighs, until you choke.

and then he starts again. pulls out and makes you hold your tongue out for him as he fists his cock in his hand. slides in slow. so slow. giving you enough time to think you're in control before thrusting in hard enough that you see stars when your nose bumps into his groin.

he's chatty, too. never shuts up. you'd think it would be a silent affair, giving who he is, but no. he's foul as he looms over you, huffing into the fabric of his mask, grinding his hips against your face. made for this, for his cock. look at you. gagging for it. you belong on your knees for him, don't you? taking his cock.

and when you get whiny - overstimulated, tired, jaw aching, mouth sour - he clucks his tongue, pulls out, and pinches your nose shut. slides his cock over your tongue, lips, cheeks as you heave for air with your mouth wide open. cums on your tongue, and makes you sit on your knees like that while he reclines on the couch, fingers petting over your head. flipping through the channels as you struggle not to spill a single drop.

is always sure to take a picture, too. a new screensaver with you in a terrible state, all sloppy and messy. tongue sticking out of your mouth, cradling a puddle of his cum.

terrible man.

[cora-vizsla]

Paz: “Look this shiny guy is a piece of shit. And his kid is weird. And don’t even get me started on this princess bitch. But this guy.. he’s MY piece of shit. And this kid is one of us even tho idk how his weird ass ears are gonna go in a helmet. And this princess.. man i just gave up on my kid and she was like nah bruh let’s climb this mountain.. So let’s fucking go kill some pirates. This is the way.”

[calciumcryptid]

Kinn would use pet names because he is the type of dork who would find them genuinely romantic.

Kim would use pet names because he thinks it gets him a good grade in boyfriend, a normal and possible thing to want to achieve.

Vegas would use pet names because he is exerting ownership in ways deemed socially acceptable, but he has to be pretentious about it.

[my-name-is-apollo]

Today on funny shit that Lucian has written - Zeus getting worried when Apollo enters a prophetic trance:

Lucian, Zeus Tragodeus

[jesuistrestriste]

thinking about art having to sit on the floor and fuck a fleshlight while he watches you ride patrick to death <3

[meidui]

🚨🆘🚑❗❗❗

[howlsofbloodhounds]

man it is so hard for me to get behind fanon nightmare at all “ooh he saved them he saved killer 🥹” no the fuck his ass did not. color did that stop lying on my man he put in all the hard work and time and effort and blood and sweat and tears

[kerryweaverlesbian]

Dean Winchester of Supernatural fame is NOT reading parenting books he is putting on Cheaper By The Dozen, Daddy Daycare and Honey I Shrunk The Kids taking notes.

[pyjamacryptid]

I’m thinking about Gwen and Elyan tonight folks….. they were siblings, finally reunited after years, reconciled, and obviously cared for one another very much and there were hardly any on-screen interactions between them save for episodes where either one of them was in danger of some kind. Sigh.

I also know for a fact their exchanges would’ve been hilarious because it seemed that Elyan was the one person that knew how to annoy Gwen at light-speed LOL

yeselyanprincearthurofcamelot

[natjennie]

the captain's top ten cuntiest moments. numbers 1-10 "these builders make the luftwaffe look like a youth group- no offense pat, we know your lot were capable of killing"

[icarusredwings]

What's going on at the X Men Annual Cook out as non black native american. Anyone is allowed to join in with their two cents. Adorablness at the end. <3

SCOTTY MY BROTHA IN CHRIST CHILL

Firstly, Domino wasn't even invited. She was just lucky enough to show up because the universe told her too and just so happened to be delighted to see the nonsense unfolding.

Secondly, let's get one thing straight. Wade is over here, busting it down to Mary Jane Girls and The Emotions, singing word for word.

You really are going to look at this man and tell me he ISN'T folding the second a black mama tells him to settle his ass down? He's sat and silent, ma'am. He's probably gonna say something so stupid and get slapped with a slipper, but you know what? Maybe he'd behave.

Perhaps that's why Ororo can sit him so quickly with a simple word and eyebrow raise. Speaking of which, she's watching Logan very closely on that grill. Them burgers be lookin a little dry Lo... He wouldn't stop complaining until she let him help. And even so, this help is very much supervised. If anything he's bickering that theyre fine and she's very tempted to switch him out with Remy.

Who was, of course, trying to show off to Rouge with his dancing but rouge is too busy comforting Kurt whos currently sat next to the picnic table on the ground crying and lowkey getting possesive over his plate.

"No little german boy! Don't eat those Louisiana baby back ribs, REAL tater salad and collard greens!"

"Oh mein gott.. dis is so gud!" *cries*

Hank is playing corn hole with Morph, who lowkey is about to get slapped because he keeps doing Micheal Jackson impressions. He also keeps cheating at the game 🤨

Just as Rouges turning her freak on. Logan's kicked off the grill and told to go handle the weird dance battle that Wade has started.

"D'Awww but!- but!? Ugh!!" So now here he is, poutily standing at the grill, watching how gently Piotr is holding Kittys hand and is twirling her with a big smile on his face.

Somehow, Out of no where, A cirlce has formed and now all Yukio, Wade, and Rouge is chanting "Go white boy, go white boy, go!"

As Scott is proving just how loose he can get, testing just how streachy these slacks are.

Jeans giggling up a storm, a hand over her mouth as she pushes him away and tells him theres kids near by. Logan is deadpanned, a little disgusted but also impressed. Like who is this man?? Where was the principal?

And there was Jubilee, filming the whole thing for their socials, captioning it "Professor cool" and "We like to have fun here at XUniversity 🕺!"

Nathan has his face in his hands, Bright red, so embarrassed that he's thinking about leaving early.

"DAAAYYMM Your dad is TURNT!"

Both Nathan and Logan blink, staring at him as he runs off.

"...Do you.."

"Nope.."

Neither of them have any clue what's going on, but god Wade is so cute when well socialized and properly exercised.

Somewhere over in a tree, There's two boys sitting on a branch eating various kinds of food, both their hands sticky sith sauce.

"Do they always do this?"

"Nope. Pietro." He puts his hand out.

Putting a napkin around his hand, He takes it with a smirk. "Miles."

"....Wait a second. Do you even go here?"

"Nope. Gonna snitch?"

"...Gimme your sweet potatoes and we'll call it even."

"That's a hard bargain. I like that. Deal."

The boys sit in silence as they exchange food, Watching a scrawny cancer patient trying to force a two left footed lumberjack to dance with him but he's so embaressed that his ears are red and tripping over his own feet.

"W-wade I'm not-"

Soon enough it turns into more of a Waltz. The same Waltz they did at their reception in this very yard.

[holycartoonwarrior]

I made a joke abt it before but I’m thinking abt the time I had a dream where Kendall had a literal mental breakdown and ego death moment from finding out stewy wasn’t Latino and his last name was not in face josé-ni.

[svtskneecaps]

see everyone worried and fretted and panicked and yet quesadilla island looked at pepito and went

[bpzau-art]

I just know they are a nightmare together