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lacrimosathedark · 10 months ago

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I'm responding to this again because I realized I was so tired I kinda skimmed over things so now that I'm not dead here's the brain vomit about this.

So, yeah, Dark Crisis on the whole was shitty. I hated it. I mostly focused on Young Justice, and...god...but that little scene with Jason and Roy set me off for so many reasons.

First of all, them being so casual? Bullshit.

This boy pretended he hated that nickname. When Roy first said it on-page, his response was "Choose Jaybird or your trachea. You can't have both."

So when Bruce Motherfucking Wayne (who was written horribly both here and in his last Red Hood appearance where Roy literally had to save Jason from being nearly beat to death because holy shit does Lobdel suck) comes to tell him that Roy Harper, his best friend who he literally just saw, is dead, and died in rehab/therapy, where he was supposed to be safe, get better, and meet up with Jason again, he's not gonna be okay! Like...that fucking sucks. And part of it is, yknow, bad writing.

But in the spirit of working with what we're given, Jason was clearly effected by this. Enough to call Roy's voicemail and leave a message with his "dumb" nickname he always threatened Roy against using.

So you'd think he's have a bigger reaction to, y'know, seeing him alive again.

Also that Jason might be a bit hurt. Because when Roy came back, yeah he was a mess, tried to call Ollie and when that didn't work, contemplated calling Jason or Dick, and decided to do neither and tossed his phone and went AWOL for some freaking multiverse shit where he was a Black Lantern during which he learned Lian was alive. But once he's chilled, what does he do?

He goes to Titan's Academy and does...nothing.

Like, it does make sense for him to go to the Titans, Dick especially, for help finding Lian. Dick and Jason are both brilliant, and Dick has the whole team of Titans and their resources behind him. If they really focused, no doubt they could find Lian. And they say they will.

And then Roy just kinda...vibes. Acts as a teacher (and a shitty one at that because apparently people can't write him well anymore either). Doesn't freak over his missing daughter. Because Titans Academy SUCKED.

And not once during ANY of this is it mentioned even in passing that he and Jason have spoken.

So like, Jason mourned Roy, and when he came back, Roy said nothing to him and seemingly chose his brother over him like most people do. That would fucking hurt. I would think seeing Roy again, he'd get one of three things:

The cold shoulder

A punch in the face, or

A bone-crushing hug

Like, the casual "sup bro" vibe is just so wrong.

Moreso with Jason seeming familiar with Lian because he??? Never actually met her????

Like, he was the first person to know about her besides Roy, he was right there when Jade told him they had a child. But Jade never said Lian's name or I don't think even gender, Jason died shortly after, and to my knowledge worked with Roy once post-ressurection and that one time he is nowhere near Lian. So him "remembering" doesn't make a lot of sense. And it's so aggravating.

I don't think it's suspicious, though. I think it's just shitty writing. Because few people seem to get Roy right and much fewer get Jason right. No one but the fans pay attention to them. My expectations are low.

As for the rift between Roy and the Titans...idk, Lian's seen Roy fighting with almost everyone, Dick especially, all the time, enough that grown-Lian and Mar'i Grayson found it funny and nostalgic.

Roy also has a consistent history of coming and going from the team, so it's not real surprising he's not with them all the time. And there was at least Kori in the beginning even if that was very much not her characterization because Lobdel sucks.

And he did kind of go back and forth between Jay and the Titans for a bit before the disaster that was Heores in Crisis, so I think she'd see it as pretty normal. Like, how many teams has Roy been on? He gets around. The usual little rifts building up, or just having wanderlust, so he moves around and changes who he's working with. Not super weird to me tbh.

And maybe the trash Lobdel wrote also rotted my brain, but I love the concept of JayRoy. Jason being the first person aside from Roy to know about Lian's existence is something I wish had been touched on in a series about Jason stealing half of Dick's redheads before getting one of his own. All of Jason, Roy, and Kori have complicated relationships with Dick Grayson; they all love him deeply in different ways but sometimes for good reason just can't stand him. And they coulda done something with that besides erasing it entirely.

But that's what N52 on the whole did and part of why it sucked. It fucked over like the entire Batfam (and everyone else, but Batfam is My Area). Girl Robin? Ridiculous! Non-Babs Batgirl? Silly concept! Parapalegic Oracle? Lame! Red Hood being a complex character? Lol. Tim Drake being uber traumatized and dealing with suicidal ideation? Booooooring! Azrael? Who's that?

N52 is the Bad Place.

So, there's this one image in the most recent Green Arrow series that I just can't stop thinking about.

This is the full page:

And while the whole thing is a big, somewhat confusing, incredibly frustrating lore dump on how and why Lian is like 15 instead of like 9 (she died when she was 4 and I presume it's been a few years but not THAT long) and why she didn't look for her parents sooner, I want to focus, very specifically, on this:

That is Arsenal and RED HOOD in that window. Lian was watching her dad run around with Red Hood. She saw them running around when they were in Gotham together.

Which makes me think that maybe she actively avoided Jason.

From what I can surmise from what I've read, a lot about Red Hood is common knowledge but also in like a cryptid sort of way. A lot is "known" about him, because Jason is loud and, while very smart, sometimes reckless, but a lot of it is sort of contradictory and messy.

It wouldn't surprise me if among common knowledge or popular belief that Red Hood specifically protects kids (who aren't dressed like traffic lights), especially given his one big rule when he stepped on the scene was don't sell drugs to kids. It would be a not too hard theory that he may have once been one of those kids, especially considering he might use his upbringing for clout to gain respect, show he knows how shit works.

And now remember that since her "death" and Cheshire dumping her on a doorstep, she's become basically a Gotham street urchin just like Jason was. She and her friends were thieves in order to get by. She, like anyone else, could have gone to a Red Hood for help and protection. Heck, if she were to go to any Bat, Jason would be her best bet because I believe (and I could be wrong) he is the only one who never met Lian. And he only worked with Roy once after Roy found out about her.

She sure as shit wouldn't be afraid of him. She's still very kind at heart, but she's steeled herself enough to be able to do this:

Because before this, as angry and hurt as she was about Jade's life choices, the worst she had ever done was throw her photo of her across the room and cry "Bad Mommy!" at it. Now, while she's still too attached to Jade for my liking/sanity, she is able and willing to tell Jade to her face when she thinks she's done wrong.

So it comes down to, Jason has attached himself to Roy, and Lian can't risk everything just for food and protection. Not forherself, or her friends.

Selina Kyle was truly a blessing for this child, training her and caring for her.

I know a lot of people don't like Shoes, but Gotham Street Kid Lian just has so much to work with. And it's not like Roy hasn't lived in Gotham before, even pre-Flashpoint.

This is honestly a long-winded way of me saying I want to see Lian interact with Jason.

#DC Comics #Lian Harper #Cheshire Cat #Roy Harper #Arsenal #Jason Todd #Red Hood

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blackenedwhite97 · 4 years ago

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Coming Out [Poly! Erasermic x {Fem}Reader]

Hello! this was a requested fic from like before Christmas. I'M A MESS I KNOW I'M SORRY! I’ll be catching up at some point, I'm in my final sem at uni and have MAJOR senioritis. Me no do unless me have to. Instead, now I just spend my time staring at the existential abyss the threatens to swallow my ceiling and think about everything I'm procrastinating. But I digress...

Content Warning: This story is of a negative experience coming out as poly to your family, this deals with rejection from the reader's mother, father, and a grandparent. This story demonstrates Homophobia, xenophobia, traditionalist and conservative values and attitudes and may be triggering to some folks.

This story includes a Polyamorous relationship

Polyamory: the practice of engaging in multiple sexual relationships with the consent of all the people involved.

Word Count: 3.7 K (A baby story)

Y/N --- 4:06pm

Hey can my roomates come to dinner?

DAD --- 4:06

You mean the gays?

Y/M --- 4:08

Please don’t call them that. Neither of them are gay anyways, there’s more than just gay or straight.

DAD --- 4:10

Yeah whatever. Let your mom decide.

MOM --- 5:12

Sure, they can come.

Mom --- 5:23

Gma might be coming dinner tho. Maybe talk to them?

That conversation should have been enough of a warning for how the evening was going to transpire. At news of your grandmother attending dinner, you panicked and tried to back out of your plans. You had been growing steadily farther apart from your parents anyways, barely seeing them more that once a year if that. It’s not like they didn’t have their suspicions anyways, to them you were a single woman living in the big city sharing an apartment with two gay men. Not that they’d ever been to the apartment. If they had they might have notice that one of the two “bedrooms” was being used as an office. Earlier on in the relationship you were so deeply uncomfortable being around your parents alone, that you had Shouta come with you every visit because you were so paranoid you were just going to come out on the spot.

At first your parents were sure that you and Shouta were together. He had subconsciously cleaned up quite nice the first few times he met your parents anyways, wanting to make a good impression on them if you finally did tell them about your polyamorous relationship. Then as time went on you got busier and started to see them less. Shouta’s parents lived in the suburbs and you saw them on holidays, plus Shouta had come out to them as being bisexual a long time ago and hadn’t felt much pressure to hide the polyamorous nature of your relationship to begin with. Hizashi’s mom was still a city dweller in her 60’s and on top of doing the cute mom things like baking fantastic cookies and handing down family jewelry to the daughter in law, she’d also taken Hizashi and Shouta to their first pride in Tokyo and had an in-home recording studio where she recorded for local punk bands. She was, quite literally, a cool mom.

You gnawed vigorously at your thumbnail, not quiet biting the whole way through, instead riddling it with dents and cracks. Chewing your nails wasn’t a habit you’d always had, it became a sort of silent worry thing you started to do when you got to your agency and had to remain still and quiet during briefings, no matter how terrible the news was. Your ruined nail beds were an atrocity to Hizashi, who had paid several times for you to get a manicure to get your nails short and evenly trimmed so you could manage them on your own. You still somehow found a way to gnaw on the short squared off nubs of your nails though, and it drove him nuts. Shouta cared less, his hands were in ridiculous shape, he was callused and bruised, cracked and flaking all over the place and Hizashi would regularly force moisturizer on them. Shouta cared more about figure out the root stress, it’s not that Hizashi didn’t, he just didn’t know how to, so he settled for pampering you.

“It’s dead.” Hizashi huffed from the bedroom door. “Obliterated, actually.”

“Hmm?” You looked up from your phone, you hadn’t been reading any of the messages in the chat for a good few minutes and just let your eyes unfocus instead. You yanked your thumb from your mouth and hid it below the table like a child caught with a sweet they’d snuck from the kitchen before dinner, you knew he saw.

“Your nail.” Hizashi gently patted the end of his hair with his special fluffy towel that he’d convinced you and Shouta he needed to control his frizz (which he didn’t have) and padded towards the kitchen table where you sat. He placed a kiss on the top of your head as he strode around you.

“What’s up, love?” he murmured softly, leaning against the table next you. One of his legs propped up on the chair to your right and leaned down to look at your phone screen.

“This is going to go horribly.” You breathed, panicked as you set your phone down on the table.

“You don’t know that.” Hizashi looked back up at you and smiled sweetly.

“Not everyone’s mom is a cool rocker lady in her 60’s who lives in the heart of downtown still and is fully supportive of her child’s bisexual polyamorous relationship with their childhood best friend and an ex-small-town girl with an ultra-conservative family.” You huffed out in one long breath.

“That was oddly specific.” He chuckled softly. “What about Sho’s parents, they’re conservative?”

“Yeah, but his parents are at least polite and send us both Christmas gifts every year and keep any and all of their shittier opinions to themselves because they want their son to be happy.” You groaned dramatically, dropping your head onto his thigh, using the extra meat to muffle the noise.

“Y-your-” Hizashi’s leg twitched from the vibrations of your groan. “Your parents want you to be happy too, Y/n.”

You groaned into his thigh, trying to explain the difference between your parent’s and Shouta’s. Hizashi laughed and gently grabbed the side of your face, lifting it so you were no longer muffled by his leg.

“Try again.” He instructed.

“They only want me to be happy if it fits into their rigid frame of what acceptable happiness looks like.” You explained again.

“Hey,” Hizashi ran his thumb back and forth across your cheek, “have faith, baby. They’re your family, they love you.”

If only he’d been right.

Shouta was the know it all, the one that way always right. Hizashi on the other hand was quiet used to being the one that was not always right, he had no hubris about his intelligence what-so-ever. So much so that sometimes you and Shouta had to remind him that he was intelligent and offered a lot of knowledge and wisdom in many many ways: public speaking, social relationships, radio scripting, he spoke two languages fluently as well. However, this one-time Hizashi wished dearly that he had been right, that he was an insufferable know it all who never got it wrong. It was a different twisted feeling in his gut, sitting the back seat watching you try to keep it together in the front seat, than the usual mild embarrassment that faded after a couple of minutes when he was wrong about something. That was damn near luxurious compared to the painful knot tearing into his stomach.

The silence in the car was so dense and absolute that it almost physically gagged Hizashi and Shouta, the two of them were too afraid to say anything and break it. It felt as though the heavy silence was keeping you from breaking, as if it were applying enough pressure at all sides to keep the thin veneer of composure you were managing together. You felt it too, along with the heavy weight that was nearly crushing your chest, the thick doughy lump clogging your throat and the tremble in your lips. You took a deep breath, it getting caught halfway and freezing in to an unrealized sob that you pushed down.

Shouta huffed and pulled off to the side of the dark country road, slowing into the gravelly shoulder. He turned in his seat to face you, undoing his seat belt so he could fully turn his body. You kept your eyes out the window, trying with all your might not to let the tears that clouded your eyes to fall. You knew you’d need to cry about this, about your parents and their conditional love. You knew that this was something you would need to deal with, but you didn’t want to at this moment. You wanted to go home, take some sleeping medication and go to sleep, you wanted to wait until the open wound in your chest had stopped bleeding to begin treating it.

Your father was being facetious about your living arrangement as usual, whenever he was faced with Shouta and Hizashi his first reaction was to constantly point out that fact that you were a woman living with two men and that if they weren’t gay that one of them should have married you by now. Shouta and Hizashi had taken these comments like water rolling off of a duck’s back, Hizashi even grinned and mumbled something about your father tempting him. You could have kept your mouth shut, you could have kept your cool but Shouta’s hand was brushing against your thigh and you felt it tense into an annoyed fist. Something about Shouta’s minimal reaction lit a fire in you, more like an explosion. It was a surge of very sudden and very ferocious courage that lasted a split second and no longer. You’d practically shouted it, the ringing in your ears drowning whatever words you’d used out.

You were met with complete and utter silence, shock and fear thick in the air. You’d almost believed for a moment that you hadn’t done it, that you’d just shouted randomly and just scared everyone. But then your dad stood up, his shocked open mouth flattening out into a hard straight line, this jaw swelling as he clenched it.

“W-what?” he growled, stepping back from the table as if you were a threat.

You were ready to backtrack, you were so ready to just laugh and pretend you were fucking with him. But you spared a glance to Shouta and Hizashi, their faces pale and guilty. They, regardless of what you could say in an attempt to cover up what you’d just said, were basically admitting to it already. You instinctively shrunk back into your chair like you’d do when you were younger at the dinner table whenever something uncomfortable would come up. You could tell everyone was at a loss for words, the difference was that you were scared and at a loss for words, Shouta and Hizashi were shocked and at a loss for words and your father was steaming angry and at a loss for words.

Your mother, who had always been the least confrontational of the two turned away from you and almost in a show of disgust immediately went to comfort your grandmother. It was as if you were an afront to goodness, an act of moral atrocity being committed in front of them. Your father began to barrage you with passive aggressive questions and accusations towards Shouta and Hizashi. He was trying to understand while at the same time refusing to give you a chance to explain. You stopped listening after the first few sentences that came out of his mouth, falling back into an internal monologue filled with regret. He must have said something exceptionally terrible because in an instant Shouta was standing, his arm reaching out to separate you from him and he was shouting. Shouta never shouted, he barely voiced any form of annoyance or frustration in general when it wasn’t a learning moment for his students, but here he was on his feet volleying harsh word with your father.

Hizashi, you realized was attempting damage control, his hands raised and his voice lower than either of the other two men’s. You blinked back into the present, as noise filled your ears, you mother was crying, your father and Shouta were shouting and Hizashi was rambling panicked. You took a couple of deep breaths and stood up on shaky legs, gripping Shouta’s protective arm for support, and looked your father in the eyes. He faltered at the direct eye contact and you saw an opening where there was less shouting to contend with.

“Stop,” you hissed through gritted teeth. “this is why I never wanted to tell you! Why I was perfectly okay with living away from you guys for the rest- This is why I haven’t been home.”

Your mother gasped a ragged, tear-filled breath. She’d expressed before that she’d wished she could see you more often, that she’s noticed you’d been coming home less and less. You’d been good at covering it up, saying you were busy with work and simply couldn’t get the time off. You knew that what you’d just said hurt her, not in the way it should have. It hurt her because you’d just told them it was their fault that you felt unwelcomed here and not because you were afraid of your own parents.

“How long?” she breathed.

“Three years.” You sniffed, hand tightening around Shouta’s wrist.

“THREE?! THR-” your father bellowed in disbelief. “For three years they’ve been brainwashing and forcing themselves on you?!”

Suddenly you understood why Shouta had leapt up, you had just now caught up with the conversation. Red hot anger flared up in your chest, the mere insinuation that you were being forced in anyway to be with your partners filled you with utter rage.

“No!” You growled, for the first time in your life matching your father’s volume. “For three years they’ve been by my side, showing up at the hospital when I got hurt at work, celebrating my promotions at the agency, helping me make a home that I feel safe in and actually fucking caring about me!”

There was silence again, this one was thin but not light in anyway, like it was a delicate thread barely holding a great weight from falling and crushing you.

“We care for you.” You mother said darkly.

“No,” you swallowed hard, “you haven’t for a long time.”

“Get out.” You father growled.

Hizashi was already moving, grabbing your coats from the back of the chairs and pulling Shouta by the arm away from the table. It took you a good long second to move, even then it was because Shouta latched onto your shoulders and Hizashi tugged him along.

“I’m sorry.” Shouta whispered, his hand finding yours in your lap. You kept your eyes focused out the window at the pitch-black fields with barely visible for off golden dots of light. You couldn’t talk.

You heard Hizashi shuffling around in the back seat, scooting closer to you and his hand joined Shouta’s, pulling up onto the storage compartment between the seats. It was cracking, that veneer.

“It’s not your fault.” Hizashi murmured.

You sniffed hard, biting int you bottom lip. Of course, it wasn’t your fault that your parents didn’t accept you, that you weren’t good enough or right for them, that you weren’t on par with the apparent morality of the rest of the family. It wasn’t your fault that they were backwards people with terrible ideas of how a person should be. It still didn’t hurt any less that you couldn’t meet those backwards ideals, that you couldn’t be the right kind of person for them.

“Y/n,” Shouta whispered, gently grabbing your chin and turning your face towards them.

They were looking at you the way a mother looks at her crying baby in the first few months, the desperate need to connect and nurture glowing in their eyes. They were filled with worry, with pity, with understanding but also, with fear. No doubt, what had just happened had been traumatic for them too. Looking into their emotion filled eyes you felt that veneer shatter, falling away and unleashing that mournful sobbing that had been trapped inside.

Shouta pulled you towards him, holding you firmly to his chest placing his head atop yours. You vaguely felt Hizashi disappear from you for a moment, but you were too preoccupied with the trembling muscles seizing violently in your chest. Then you felt him sliding in behind you, only now realizing he’d stepped out of the car and slide in through your door as he shut it behind him. He draped himself over you rubbing circles into your back.

“It’s not your fault.” He murmured into your hair over and over again.

At first you didn’t really focus on it, thinking it idle words of comfort but the more he said the more it sunk in. The more your realized that you were holding onto the hope that there was something about this, about you, that you could fix. With every repetition of those four words that false hope chipped away and that heavy weight in your chest began to fall away. It was still painful, it still felt like you had a pen festering wound that you’d never fully heal from, but it also felt lighter. It felt as though a burden you’d believed was yours to bear was suddenly the responsibility of the many.

“You don’t have to change,” Shouta whispered softly as your sobs ebbed into weak beaths, “they do.”

That reignited some tears, to hear what you needed to said so plainly. Shouta was good at that, putting those intangible thoughts and feelings into plain words. You cried until the tears and the worry and the late hour caught up with you, until your head felt heavy and waterlogged and you slumped backwards into Hizashi sniffing. You cried until your wavering breaths evened out and your tired mind fell to silence. Hizashi pulled you into his lap and cradled you against him like a parent holding and oversized child, running his hand slowly through your hair.

When you awoke you were swaddled thoroughly with the fuzzy blanket from the couch Shouta hated because it shed and sandwiched between the two men who snored away. As you blinked in the early morning light that just barely peaked through the blinds you noticed the red rims around Hizashi’s eyes and deep-set circles under Shouta’s as if they both been awake all night. Shouta was still in his dress shirt and Hizashi had stripped down to his boxers and pulled his hair back into a sloppy bun. Neither were properly snoring which told they hadn’t been asleep for very long.

You tried to ignore what had happened last night, what had led to the heavy feeling in your head and crusty dry eyes and tight cheeks. You tried to pretend that they had stayed up for work, that they you had swaddled yourself up in the blanket nor because you were sad but because you just wanted to be cozy. Then you heard a phone vibrate on the nightstand and any and all work towards denial washed away as you dreaded checking it. It could just be a work thing, it could be Hizashi’s phone even though he’d never had it on silent even once since you’ve known him. It could have been Shouta’s vibrating against the wooden table even though you could see his slightly peeking out of his back pocket.

You sighed and sat up, daring the smallest of glances at the nightstand. It was your phone screen that was lit up, several notifications on the screen. You groaned and laid back down, scrunching your eyes shut begging for sleep to suddenly and miraculously take you. It buzzed again and you huffed. Fine. You’ll check it. I guess someone could be dying. I do stop that from happening for a living.

You very cautiously crawled over Hizashi and reached to get your phone, electing not to look at it until you settled back between your boys. You scrolled though your notifications, weather, news, a work email, a second email from a contact that made your blood run cold and three missed calls and two answering machine messages from the same contact. Grandma. Your hands trembled at you unlocked your phone and typed int your voicemail password. You held the phone up to you ear and listen to the first message which was more or less just some frustrated grandma noises and mumbles about the inconvenience of technology, followed briefly by a set of hellos. If you hadn’t been ready to shit yourself, you’d have laughed. Then the second played and you had to take a deep breath to hold yourself together enough to keep listening.

“Hello? Hello? Y/n? Oh shi- well this is just ridiculous. Y/n, I don’t know if you can hear me, or maybe this is your answering machine, I don’t know I can’t hear too well but-” her soft worn voice said into the phone, “I want you to know that I love you. Your parents love you too, even if they did not act like it tonight.”

She paused and your eyes welled up with tears, a lump forming in your throat. It was this strange feeling of pure sadness but also happiness and relief.

“Those boys,” she continued, “probably would have killed your father last night if they had the chance. I’m not saying I get it, but they sure do love you, sweetheart. I quite like the blond one he is very-”

The message cut off and the automated voice asked you what you wanted to do with the message. All you could do was laugh, laugh and cry. You were still sad, still in pain, but it was already starting to feel less life-ending.

“Hey,” Shouta mumbled blearily, “S’okay. I’m here.”

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, trying to pull himself from sleep. You hugged him back and massaged the back of his scalp gently.

“Listen to this.” You sniffed.

He nodded and you pressed repeat, listening to the whole second message through again. You watched as a smile spread across his sleepy lips and he laughed softly. He pouted suddenly when it ended, his eyebrows pulling together as much as his drowsy state would let them.

“What?” you asked, worried he’d heard something you‘d missed.

“Why does she like Zash more?” he grumbled, barely awake now.

You smiled and curled into him, electing not to answer knowing that he wouldn’t like being told that Hizashi is more sociable than him. Besides, you smiled to yourself, he’d be asleep in a matter of seconds.

You were still hurt; you still had that big open wound in your chest. But with Shouta and Hizashi at your side you knew you’d heal; you knew they’d give you anything you needed. You knew that your grandmother was right, that these two boys loved you very much.

#polyerasermic #eraserhead #erasermic #erasermic x reader #present mic #present mic x reader #present mic x aizawa #eraserhead x reader x present mic #eraserhead x reader #reader insert #bnha #mha #myhero #my hero academia #my hero fanfic #bnha fanfiction #y/n x mha #y/n x bnha

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maddiwrites · 4 years ago

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Family and Hope

Pairing: Routledge!Reader x JJ (Kinda)

Summary: A month after your brother disappeared, you’re confronted by someone you never thought you would see again, forcing you to come to terms with reality.

Note: I made this a reader x JJ pairing but the focus is more on the relationship with the person who’s introduced in this fic! Also if you haven't yet, go over to my page and read my OBX rewrite and let me know what you think (:

Word Count: 4.2k (Do I know how to write a short fic? No.)

You’ll never forget the day that Shoupe told you he and the FBI “lost” your brother. “Lost” them. Like they were a toddler’s toy that had just been misplaced. No one knew if they were dead or alive, but most made the conclusion that they were never coming back.

You were ultimately left with no family. After you dad disappeared, all you had was John B. And just like that, he was gone too. Your legal guardian, Ward Cameron, obviously threw you out. But it didn’t take much effort because you weren’t going to go back there anyway. See Ward, whether it be on the streets or on the Local News, nauseated you to no end. You knew he was the reason your dad and brother were gone. The greedy mother fucker would do anything to sit on the highest throne of success and fortune - even going as far as murder. And you knew this world well enough to know that he would never face the consequences of his actions. Because he’s wealthy with an outstanding reputation on this island. And if that wasn’t enough, people now felt sorry for him because his daughter was gone, and everyone blamed that on John B.

Although you were left with no blood relatives, you continue to be surprised by how far your real family would go for you. Mr. Heyward, although always disapproving of you and your friends’ antics, offered to take you in. He promised a roof over your head and food on the table until you turned eighteen so you wouldn’t have to experience foster care. You couldn’t be more grateful especially knowing that he already struggled to support his wife and only kid.

You tried your hardest to continue living your life as normal as possible. Most days, you pretended like your brother wasn’t even dead. He was just gone. On vacation. Living life. He was coming back. That’s what you told yourself, anyway. You sound like John B when your dad first disappeared. The police called you crazy. Your friends felt sorry for you. But you didn’t care. You weren’t going to give up hope.

Your boyfriend, JJ, tried his best to be supportive, but he was drowning in his own sorrow and grief. He lost his best friend too and truly believed he was never coming back. It was hard for him to get out of bed in the mornings. He was fired from his hotel job, and the couple of people who still let him mow his lawn barely talked to him. The beatings from his dad were worse than ever. Luke almost killed him when he heard it was The Phantom that had sunk. The only reason JJ is still breathing is because the police showed up after one of their neighbors called in for a noise complaint. Since the Chateau was no longer a safe escape - always being investigated by the police - he was stuck in his own home. Luckily, his dad was gone most days, which allowed you to sneak in every once in a while.

You brought him food and water whenever you could, always checking for Luke’s pick up truck before sneaking in through the window. Although you hated how depressed JJ was, it gave you something to focus on. Helping JJ with his every day tasks helped distract you from thinking about your own feelings about John B’s loss.

Even though it was hard to tell, JJ worried about you. You were running from his house, to Kie’s, to Pope’s, finding anyone and anything to avoid your own feelings about your brother. He was afraid that one of these days you were gonna break. And he was terrified because he didn’t know what would trigger that reaction.

~ ~ ~

“Oh, good. You’re up,” You crawled through JJ’s window and watched him sip on a PBR can as he looked for a shirt that didn’t smell completely awful. You forced a smile when JJ barely glanced at you and set the coffees and two granola bars on his night stand. “I know it’s not a lot, but it’s all I could afford right now.”

Kie’s father basically fired you from the Wreck, telling you nicely that you were scaring people away. At the end of the day, everyone on the island thought you helped a murderer escape. A murderer you were related to. So you’ve been working for Heyward behind the the counter, making less than minimum wage.

“Okay...” you drawled out. “Well, I have to get going. Heyward needs me their early, but maybe we can go somewhere tonight? Smoke on the beach or something? Just the two of us.”

JJ looked at you sadly, wanting to say something. But he thought maybe tonight would be better. You were in a good mood - a facade he knew you put on every day to avoid talking about your family. He hated seeing you cry, but he thought if he broke down your walls now, it would help you heal faster. Even if you thought you didn’t need to heal.

But instead, he just nodded and let you leave without saying “goodbye” or “I love you.” A phrase he hasn’t mentioned since John B disappeared.

You kissed him on the cheek and walked yourself out the front door, ignoring the crack in your heart when JJ turned away from you.

~ ~ ~

A couple hours later, JJ was waking up from another nap when Pope blew up his phone with missed calls and text messages. At first, he immediately thought of the worse possible case scenario. Something happened to you or maybe even Kie. He even let his mind wander to the possibility that they found John B’s body. But instead, what he read, only left him completely confused.

He rushed over to Heyward’s, hoping to beat you there.

~ ~ ~

Mr. Heyward didn’t know what to expect when his former friend showed up at his door. He was mixed with all different emotions. Relieved, confused, scared. Behind her was a man about his age. Tall, fair skinned, hair slicked back, and dressed in slacks and a button down shirt.

“Caroline....what are you doing here?”

“I hear my daughter is living with you now. I was hoping I’d be able to see her,” Your mother admitted, feeling sheepish and a little embarrassed. “May I come in?” Heyward told himself he should slam the door in her face and tell her to go back to wherever the hell she came from. She used to be his friend, then out of nowhere, she up and left her entire family behind, without another word to them or any of her friends. He was hurt and betrayed, and he knew if he was feeling this way, he could only imagine how you would feel.

But although Heyward loved you like his own, he felt wrong hiding your mother from you. It wasn’t his decision to make whether or not you got to confront her.

He opened the door wider for her and her husband, he assumed, to enter. Heyward ignored their judgmental gazes as they inspected his home and called out for his wife.

Mrs. Heyward stopped in her tracks when she caught a glimpse of the blonde hair she remembered so clearly. You were a spitting image of your mother. Long blonde hair, a button nose, and perfectly straight teeth. The one thing you didn’t get from her though was her selfish personality.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She seethed. Mrs. Heyward loved you like a daughter and felt protective when someone who hurt you so badly in the past came back.

“Honey...” Mr. Heyward placed a light hand on her shoulder to comfort her and then motioned for the two seats at their kitchen table for your mother and her husband to take.

“Y/N’s not here,” Mrs. Heyward glared.

“Anne, I know you don’t think I have any right to be here -”

“Right?”

“But she’s my daughter!” Your mother protested with tears in her eyes.

Your mother grew up on the Cut too, and just like you, she was able to charm her way into anything. A job, a relationship, a better test grade. There was a time when Caroline, John, Anne and Heyward would cause mischief in Kildare County. But unlike the rest of the group, she was always interested in getting out of the Outer Banks and starting a life somewhere else. She knew she was settling when she married John Routledge so the second a better opuurtunity came around, she didn’t hesitate to take it. Even if it mean’t leaving her family behind.

“Mom...” Pope walked out from the hallway and looked between Caroline and the man next to her who had his hand on her thigh. He never met Y/N and John B’s mother. Never even seen a picture of her. But looking at her, it was clear to him that this was their mother. You looked just like her, he thought.

“Pope, this is Caroline...” Heyward hesitated and looked at the woman for clarification.

“Bennett.” She confirmed and placed her hand on top of her husband’s, interlacing their fingers. “I’m Y/N’s mom.”

Pope noticed how she didn’t even mention John B. He wondered how cold a woman had to be to not even mention her dead son’s name.

“Go to your room, Pope,” His mother said softly.

Pope nodded and glanced one last time at Caroline and the man next to her before pulling his phone out of his back pocket and texting JJ. He knew Y/N wasn’t going to take well to the news that her mother was in town. All her life, he heard Y/N saying nothing but horrible things about the woman. You hated her.

He waited in his room until he heard the familiar revving of JJ’s bike outside his house. Pope ran to the front door before his father could push JJ away. JJ stormed into the house and stopped when he was face to face with the woman he’s grown to hate too. Just like you had with his mother.

“JJ -” Heyward stood up and approached the boy, but JJ flinched out of his grasp.

“You shouldn't be here,” JJ pointed at her.

“I- I’m sorry. Who -”

“This is JJ. Pope’s friend -” Anne tried explaining.

“And Y/N’s boyfriend, and I’m telling you right now, she won’t want to see you.”

Caroline nodded as if she understood where JJ was coming from. But Caroline was use to getting what she wanted. Now more than ever. And she wasn’t leaving OBX without seeing her daughter. Maybe even convincing her to come home with them.

“JJ -” Heyward tried to say again, but the room grew silent when the front door creaked open again, which only meant that you were home.

“Hey! Who’s car is out front? I’ve never seen...” You slowly came to a halt when you were met with Heyward, Anne, Pope, and JJ all staring at you with pity and concern. You laughed nervously. “What -” But then you saw her. The woman and her husband at the kitchen table as if they were here for a glass of wine and friendly conversation.

You recognized her mom immediately from old photographs your dad refused to throw away throughout the entirety of his life. You use to think she was beautiful. Sometimes, you were even jealous of how she was able to look amazing in every picture. Extremely photogenic.

You never thought about what you would do if you ever saw her again. You never thought the day would come where you would be face to face with the person you grew up hating more than the entire population of Kooks. But you stared into the same pale blue eyes you saw every time you looked in the mirror and your skin burned with rage.

“What the hell is this?” You looked at Heyward for some answers, ignoring her presence overall.

Heyward coughed awkwardly. “Caroline was hoping to speak with you.”

“About what?” Heyward glanced back at Caroline. He truly didn’t know why she was here. They hadn’t gotten there yet.

JJ stepped in front of you and pulled you in close so his mouth was next to your ear. “We can leave.”

“No,” You shook your head and stepped away from him to get a good look at your mother. “No. I want to know what you’re doing here. What makes you think I want to talk to you?”

“Sweetie, I know you have every right to hate me. But I come here in peace -” Your mother tried explaining, but you cut her off.

“Peace?” You scoffed. “Where the hell have you even been?” “Georgia,” She said. Your mouth dropped open in shock. She was only a couple states below you. “This is Byron, my husband.” You clenched your teeth together and held your stare on the two of them. You didn’t know who you hated more. Your mother or the man who took her away from you. Your mother sighed and looked down at her intertwined fingers with her husband. “I heard about your brother on the News.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” You rolled your eyes. She sounded more like a sympathetic neighbor than a mourning mother. She talked about John B as if he wasn’t her blood too.

“I came here as soon as I could -”

“That was a month ago!” You raised your voice.

“I know,” Your mother choked, starting to get flustered. “I got caught up with work and -” It’s been a while since someone put her in her place.

“Work? You knew about John B and you cared more about your work? What the hell do you even do, Martha Stewart?”

“Y/N...” Anne said softly, pulling you out of your dark head and reminding you to take a breath. Anne didn’t like her either, but all this yelling wouldn’t get either of you anywhere.

“Fine,” You took the seat across the table from Caroline and leaned back on it with your arms crossed in front of your chest. “Your here now. So tell me what for. We’re not having a funeral for John B. Not until I see a body.”

Caroline looked at her husband for some sort of encouragement. Although he was unsure now more than ever, Byron subtly nodded his head for his wife to tell her daughter the reason they came up here. “Byron and I...we want you to come home.”

“Home?” You cocked a brow.

“With us,” Byron added.

You couldn’t help but chuckle - really belly laugh at what you were hearing. You couldn’t believe the ridiculous suggestion she made. You were astounded that she even thought you would agree.

“We’ve seen the News and read the papers. I mean the stuff you kids have been through -”

“That’s enough,” You stood up.

“We have a beautiful home. You’d have your own room, a pool in the backyard. We even have two other daughters! Ten and seven. They’re excited to meet you.”

You tried your best to ignore her as you grabbed JJ’s arm to pull him out with you. But everything she said was like a ringing in your ears you couldn’t escape. Little did Caroline know, each luxury she threw at you felt like a stab in the back.

“I’m outta here -”

“Y/N Y/M/N Routledge! I am your mother!” Caroline stood up, her chair screeching against the hardwood. She slapped her palm against the wooden table and narrowed her eyes at her daughter. In her own head, she couldn’t believe how ungrateful you were. She was offering you a new and better life - one that wouldn’t make you dress like your entire wardrobe was from the thrift store, or sleep on your friend’s couch, or be looked at every day as a criminal. She was offering you a new beginning with the only blood relative you had left and you were gonna turn your back on her?

You swiveled on your heels so fast that your head started spinning. Your vision clouded with the color red and your fists clenched against your side. You glared at the woman who gave birth to you - hating how she acted as if she knew what was best for you when she didn’t even know you at all.

“I don’t have a mother!” You screamed. “She turned her back on us when we were three! I don’t even know you. The only reason I recognized you is because my dad kept pictures of you in frames in his office.” Tears pricked at your eyes and you shook your head. “And I felt sorry for him that he still held onto memories of the woman who seemed so useless.”

Your voice cracked and you hated that you sounded so weak. You wondered what John B would say if he was standing next to you right now. He’d probably be more calm. He’d probably listen to what your mother had to offer and then kindly tell her that the two of you were better off without her. John B use to always keep you grounded. He calmed you down when you were on a rampage or feeling panicked. He taught you reason and discipline. Without him, you had none of that.

“You left,” You continued. “You turned your back on us when we were three. And Dad? He had no idea what he was doing. The man could barely hold a job let alone two kids. But unlike you, he did it. Hell, he even bought me my first box of tampons! He held me through my first heartbreak and taught me how to surf. And just like that,” You snapped your fingers, “he was gone. And you, my so-called mother, still didn’t show up. So John B and I...we became our own parent. We paid the bills, worked our asses off to pay the rent, and passed our classes. I learned to fend for myself because you weren’t there! You didn’t do shit for our family.” You pointed to yourself. “I did. I took care of us.”

“That’s not fair...” Your mother’s voice shook. She couldn’t even look at you as she became so overwhelmed with shame and guilt.

“Not fair?” You bent down so you were eye level with her and looked at her like she had just grown two heads. “You just listed off all the amazing luxuries you have while I was left with absolutely nothing and you want to talk about what is fair?”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Bryon stepped in and stood up from his seat, placing a hand on your mother’s shoulder to try to comfort her.

“No, I’m just getting started,” You glared at him. “And I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but this is between me and her. And I know she grew up on the Cut and is more than capable of fighting her own battles.” You averted your attention back to your mother. “You don’t get to waltz into my life over ten years later and pretend like nothing’s happened. My dad’s dead and my brother probably is too! I have no one left, but the family right here.” You point to the people behind you. Mr and Mrs Heyward, Pope, and JJ. “And I’ll choose these people over you every single time. So no. You’re not my mother.” You looked her up and down. “You’re nothing to me.”

You spun around on your heels and grabbed your back pack on the way out.

“Y/N...” Mrs. Heyward tried calling out to you, but no one really tried to stop you. They knew you needed to get out from under the same roof as your mother, the woman behind all your anger.

“I got her...” JJ told the Heyward family quietly. He glanced at Pope, who nodded once at him, before walking out of the house to find you. Only you were already gone and your bike was missing.

Your feet moved faster than your head. You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew you had to get as far away from that woman as possible. Your tears made your vision all blurry and your brain pounded against your skull. Your throat felt like sandpaper with every heavy breath you took.

You practically fell off your bike in front of the one place you had been avoiding for weeks. It looked just like how you had left it, only now it was wrapped in yellow caution tape. Shockingly, no one was here. No police, FBI, or any other government official. It was just you and your thoughts.

You pulled the squeaky porch door open and were immediately flooded with memories. Empty beer cans and the butt of old cigarettes and blunts littered the floor like you were all lounging here yesterday. Guess CSI doesn’t hire a clean up crew when they are done.

You took another step into your house. Your brother’s room was to your right, his door open, enticing you to go in. But you couldn’t. Your heart twisted in your chest at the thought of John B. He should have been here. He should have never left! How could he? He was your brother. Your older brother, even if it was only by a few minutes. He was supposed to protect you. He was supposed to scare off all the boys who showed interest in you, yell at you when you’re bathing suit showed too much skin, take care of you when you were sick, help you with your homework, be the cool uncle to your kids one day. And he was gone. Everyone was gone!

You didn’t remember how it happened, but you were in your dad’s office. This place use to be a mystery to you - a room where your Dad hid most of the time and locked when he wasn’t home. You always wondered what was so special about this room. Now you knew it was nothing. It was a curse. This room was the reason your dad and brother were gone.

A screech ripped from your throat as your swept your arms across your father’s desk. Everything on top, papers, paper weights, pens, folders, all clattered to the floor. With all your strength, you flipped the desk over on its side. The wooden floor rumbled under your feet when it fell with a bang.

Your breath hitched in your throat and you felt like you couldn't breathe. You stepped back until your back hit the wall. Your fingers raked through the hair near your scalp and you pulled on the roots. You body slid down the wall until you were on the ground. You cried into your knees, weeping for your brother and dad. You have never felt pain like this before. You were physically healthy but it felt like someone took a vacuum into your body and was sucking the life out of you.

You didn’t even hear anyone else come into the house over your loud sobs. It wasn’t until you felt arms wrap around you that you looked up. JJ pulled you into his chest, curling you so that your body fit perfectly against his. He whispered against your head and kissed it after every sentence. He told you it was going to be okay.

“He can’t be gone,” You cried into JJ’s shoulder. “It’s not fair!”

“I know,” JJ mumbled against your hair and pulled you in tighter. “I know. I’m sorry.” He felt like the worst boyfriend ever. He knew this day would come and he took advantage of you avoiding your own grief by drowning in his own. He should have been taking care of you, making you open up about your brother so that it didn’t all hit you at once like it did now.

“I have no one.”

“No,” JJ shook his head. “That’s not true. You have me. Pope and Kie, we’re all going to be here for you. And screw your mom. You don’t need her anyway.”

For a split second, you forgot about your mom and how she wanted to take you back to Georgia. But you knew she wasn’t your real family. Not anymore. You were right when you said you had all the family you needed. The Heywards, Pope, Kie, JJ. You weren’t alone. You still had them.

“I’m sorry,” JJ said again. “I should have - I should have done something. I should have been there for you -”

“It’s okay,” You placed your hand delicately under his jaw to make him look at you. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

“I love you.” Your heart swelled, forgetting the way those three words made you feel. Safe, loved, comforted. “And if John B’s out there, he’s going to come back.” JJ remembered the promise John B made him swear by before he left with the Phantom. How he made JJ promise to protect you no matter what. Even if you were to go through a nasty break up. He was supposed to be there for you. “There’s still hope.”

“Hope,” You repeated, tasting the word on your tongue. You still had hope.

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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I adore talking about this with you, it's so cool to be able to agree, everything I've read is just excusing yen lmao.

And with "geralt would rather do and say things Yen wants to avoid pissing her off" LIKE YEAHH I guess I annoyed yen with my answers and she teleported Geralt out of the tower thing, and then threatened to do it again like??? Like he pissed her off so she has fuck all care about him, was over water thank god but like girl??? omg and her refusing to tell the wticher bros what she was planning on doing to Uma, like I get that they would be hesistent but I mean it's cause it's cruel and painful and they have that trauma around that. She just expects everyone to do what she asks when she asks no questions. (Lambert's "I'm not geralt" when he and Yen are kinda arguring, bb red flags)

I just assumed she didn't believe him cause if she did whats her excuse for behaving how she is lmao??? Like you believe he has amnesia and you still blame HIM over the person who maniplated him KAY.

And goodddd that fucking scene when Triss and Yen see Ciri in Kaer Morhen is genuinely the worst, Triss and Yen see their sis/daughter (not gonna get into how weird I find it that Triss considers Ciri her sister and Geralt is Ciris father and she still wants to fuck him, uncomfy) for the first time in forever, she's alive and well and while Triss is hugging Ciri, Yen kisses Geralt and Triss throws a glare at her. I hated that scene so damn much, it's stupid and shouldn't have been there. (aso I get emotions and all but Yen kissing Geralt is so bitchy, idk even full of gratitude and emotion I wouldn't kiss the man who just dumped me lol, especially not in front of a situation like Triss)

I'm still mad about the women, I really wanted to like them fuck meeee

YOU GOT TO THE PART. Oh thank god, anon, I've wanted to talk about this since we started these conversations lol

Okay, let's set the scene, shall we? You arrive to find that, with our playthroughs anyway, your ex has barged into your home. I say "barged in" because although we (Geralt) know that Yen's help is necessary and she'll be tagging along, the other witchers living there are given no prior warning and, according to Vesemir, Yen teleported in without so much as a "Hello." She then immediately starts ordering everyone around like her servants, failing to explain the situation beyond there being a curse that they have to help with. No, this isn't negotiable. She (still being an ex) takes your old room for herself, which just happens to be the biggest in the keep, and proceeds to toss a bed out the window. It's only later that Vesemir recalls that Triss used to use it, so prior to that everyone apparently just accepted that Yen was destroying their stuff for no understandable reason. Classic Yen. You go upstairs to find her cursing a blue streak at her failed experiment and when you try to lighten the mood, she snaps at you. If you're of the opinion that Yen's every order must be obeyed, this is when you're supposed to drop the conversation entirely, because she said to. Except, funnily enough, you'd like to know why she's up here being The Worst Guest Ever and destroying your property. She tries to justify this by saying that destroying a bed is better than how she could be dealing with her anger over Triss. Be grateful and all that. Except, it's not really about Triss, is it? The line is "You shagged my friend. For upwards of a year. I don't know what your witcher's code says on the matter, but ordinary folk would consider it obscene, base, vile." The blame is not on the woman who knowingly manipulated Geralt into having sex with her while he was vulnerable, it's on Geralt himself! He is the "obscene, base, vile" person for... daring to have amnesia? And when you point that out - "Yen... told you already. I lost my memory" - she yells that she's "lost [her] patience" and teleports you into a lake! This is, apparently, how she really wants to deal with her anger. Not by destroying beds, but by attacking you for things outside of your control. And I do consider it an attack. Yen is meant to be insanely powerful, she is leveraging her magic as a weapon here, particularly when Geralt has spent the whole game commenting on how much he hates portals. Yen knows this. Not just because he says so in her presence, but because she frequently reads his mind, something else he's expressed discomfort with. She's not just demonstrating her power (controlling) and sending him away when he makes a point she doesn't want to acknowledge (immature), she chooses the one thing she knows makes Geralt uncomfortable, perhaps even scared. Then when you've swum your way back to shore and returned to, despite all this, begin her list of chores, she makes a dry comment about how next time she just might drop you high enough for the fall to be fatal. With the next time implied to be, you know, the next time you disagree with her. The next time you dare to do anything other than agree with her every belief and jump at her every command.

The fandom interpretation of all this: "Lol Geralt getting yeeted is so funny. And their banter is just 😍"

Me:

You mentioned red flags and yeah like that ENTIRE SCENE is a crimson banner for me. I mean, by all means, love the fictional ships that are super messed up (I often do), but it astounds me how many fans honestly think this is just a cute interaction with absolutely no problems attached. Nothing to question here, folks. I've mentioned before, but last I discussed this in depth the asker wanted to know if I'd been an asshole to Yen and... that's it. That's the perspective. Any disagreement with her, any pushback, anything that's not complete, blind obedience is something she will not permit AND something most fans take as a given. If you're not doing what Yen tells you to, you're automatically the asshole, and if you're the asshole, you automatically deserve any punishment she chooses to dish out.

Comic spoilers coming up if you want to skip, but this is made abundantly clear in "Curse of Crows." Yen and Geralt are at their best in the moment below, enjoying one another's company on a nice day. Yen asks if Geralt wants to swim and he says nah, he'd rather watch her. She appears to like that idea and, indeed, swims naked while Geralt admires from the shore.

Actually cute right? I really liked this moment! They're cuddled up together and exchanging smiles. It's a rare moment of peace where I can believe that they truly care for one another, outside of passionate sex and not wanting the other dead. Finally, something beyond that incredibly low bar.

...except Yen starts flirting with a young man who shows up, invites him to travel with them, all while refusing to explain why she's interested in his company. The sudden third wheel is clearly bothering Geralt, but Yen continues to ignore his questioning. The answer she finally gives later that night?

She did it purely to mess with Geralt! It's his "just desserts" for "refusing to swim with [her]." She is "not one to be refused - I thought you needed reminding" by giving him "a flick on the nose." When I say that Yen treats Geralt like a dog I mean she literally treats him like a dog. He's a servant who must jump at her every command and if he doesn't, he'll punished for disobedience. He might not even know why he's being punished for a long stretch because Yen enjoys making him think she's a normal person capable of accepting that he doesn't feel like swimming right now - insert the Kaer Morhen scene where she wants to go have sex upstairs, but Geralt wants to catch up with the brothers he hasn't seen in an age here - only to reveal that actually she's made their formerly nice outing uncomfortable because he needs to be put in his place. All of which is followed by, "So... willing to join me now?" The message is very clear! Geralt had better get his ass in that tub unless he wants to be punished some more. Whether he wants a bath right now or not is inconsequential.

This is also the run where she scares the women Geralt was with, despite them being separated right now. Why? "I could."

Claims that Geralt is allowed to return to his companions (who he actually waves away) only for him to realize she's cast a spell to burn him with the water. Yen loves pretending she's okay with things only to punish Geralt for them later - sometimes with physical punishments. And what would have happened if the women had actually joined him again? Do witchers weather hot water better than the average courtesan? Who knows, but Yen clearly doesn't care who might get hurt.

Just like her time in Skellige and at Kaer Morhen, she refuses to explain what's going on. She just expects people to obey her, so-called loved ones included. Geralt was to get her cider, and arrive before her bath went cold, not question what they're doing on this dangerous hunt. He's a servant.

And my favorite, petty moment: transforming her awful inn food into a lavish meal without offering to do the same for either Geralt or Ciri.

"But, Clyde, that's just the comics. They're not really canon." Nah, questions of canon aside, this is 100% Yen's characterization. She's prideful. Immature. Beyond controlling. And punishes anyone who dares to tell her "No." Fans are always pointing out that she's meant to be horrible, she could have been a villain in another life, like any of that explains why I'm supposed to root for this relationship or enjoy her existence outside of being a complex character. Yen is interesting, but she's interesting in a "I can't wait to see her get her own just desserts" way. Not "Wooo now I get to watch this story ignore her behavior again to push a True Love narrative."

She punished Geralt frequently during their first meeting, she punishes him whenever they get together, and, I think, she punished him during the reunion with Ciri. Given our playthroughs, do we really think that after breaking up with her and all this fury over Triss - an anger so deep she destroyed the bed and attacked Geralt - she's just overcome with such joy that she forgets they're not together anymore and forgets the anger she's been nurturing for years? Yen doesn't forget. She's staring at Ciri during that moment, right where Triss is currently running towards them, and then after a considering look at Geralt pulls him in for that kiss. That was calculated. She did that to make a claim she no longer had. To punish them both: make Triss uncomfortable by playing at the "perfect" family reunion; make Geralt uncomfortable by kissing him when she knows he doesn't feel the same way. But of course, the popular reading is that she just loves him so much she couldn't help herself. Riiight.

It's just all SO BAD. (Including, as you say, the ickiness of having Triss lusting after Geralt and referring to Ciri as "little sis.") I love a lot of the women in Witcher - Cerys is a fave, Ciri, Saskia, Philippa, Keira, etc. - but the two I'm supposedly meant to fall in love with are just the worst lol.

Basically:

Half the fandom: TEAM TRISS 🤬

The other half: TEAM YEN🤬

Me: TEAM REGIS 😭

#witcher #mymetas #long post

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hannya-writes · 4 years ago

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Hihihi! I know it's kinda crazy and I just found your acc but I was LITERALLY thinking about a Marvel-SVU crossover and found yoooooou. I mean... The algorithm lead me to you. It's ✨ Destiny ✨ haha So I was wondering if you could write something Marvel-SVU kinda with Carisi x reader (i don't know if you watch agents of shield) where reader has to go UC for Shield and falls in love with him and he finds out she's Shield etc. I don't know if I'm making any sense rn I'm just really happy I found you. And now I sound creepy but it's already too late and I'm sending this.

Dear @lapaquerette : I do not watch Agents of shield, but I did my best! I swear I did! 😭 you totally made sense! But I feel like there's part of this story that are not so good, anyways~ let's get to the story!!

Title: Don't Tell anyone

Fandom: MCU and Law and order SVU

Pairing: Sonny Caruso x Reader

Other characters: no, I think no

Category: romance

Warnings: this doesn't have a happy ending bc I'm bad writing those! This is long I think.

Author's note: for a moment I thought of making this a serie, but my head couldn't stand it! I don't feel like I can picture Carisi in the right way so probably he's going to be very OOC. Also I'm not supper proud of this because I literally did what I wanted with the time line, Captain America: Winter Soldier happens in 2016 however Caruso es ADA in 2020 if I'm not wrong but in this case the events of winter soldier happen in 2020. Also there's like 2 years of difference btw WS and Civil War, and I tried my best! To make everything fit, but you know, you can kick my ass in comments.

• • •

The mission was supposed to last just a couple of days. Y/n had to pose as an assistant to the Junior ADA's why did they need assistance she didn't know, but when Nick fury assigned her there she just didn't dared to ask.

"Find out what's going on there" he had said as if it was a life or dead situation.

Pepto. That's what happened. High expectations was the other thing happening. The Junior ADA's where being pressed, running towards death case by case.

It was boring, the first two days Y/n had played "who's the jerk of the room?" She had found more than one, stress made that to people. Who cares about cordiality when they had to put people in jail? The answer was Dominic "Sonny" Carisi.

Sonny never yelled or snapped at people, he always asked nicely about papers, he said "Good Morning" and "thank you". He was a gentleman, a knight in a shiny armor. He made funny jokes even when he was struggling with a case.

Y/n had felt a weird desire to help him after just one encounter. The puppy eyes, she reasoned. After that day when he was in court she appeared there, sat and suddenly the people being cross-examined poured the truth without control or bursted in fit of rage confessing everything. She wasn't making something bad, she was helping, which she was supposed to do. No one was going to link her to those incidents. No one knew what she could do.

— copies, now — one of ADA's order her and she almost pushed the asshole and told him to do it himself, it was only a copy machine, he only had to push a button! However, Y/n was a trained spy, she had control over every muscle in her face to not make a disgusted expression at the tall and skinny man. 63 ways to kill him appeared in her head in a second.

— Sure thing — she said in a gently tone, entertaining her mind in the more horrible ways to deal with Tommy.

Tommy Parish, a bully in and out of court, linked to the Irish Mafia. He thought he was a big fish, prepotent but surprisingly brilliant. He was like a weasel. He wasn't that important. Shield wasn't interested by his night activities. They thought there was something else, something more important. Y/n didn't think so. The more interesting thing there was...

— Oh, Sorry didn't meant to...— Sonny said as he almost hit Y/n with the door.

— my fault, I was standing here like a creep — she took the guilt with a sheepish smile.

— A penny for your thoughts — he said as he walked outside and Y/n instinctively followed, as she usually followed after director Nick Fury,

— I think I'm being punished — she said while walking aimlessly, if Sonny had walked in the male restroom she would have probably followed him blindly.

— punish? For what? Did Tommy said something mean to you again? — the blond man sounded concerned and for Y/n it was refreshing, people around her tended to be more defensive around her than being worried about her well being.

— no! I think Tommy is warming up to me — Y/n said proudly — it's my umm... Dad, he send me to live here and I think is because he is mad at me —

There was a small silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

— why would he be mad? You are amazing! — Sonny sounded so positive and brilliant, he always seemed to have that aura around him, even in the worst cases. Y/n noticed it, and worried her when he started to lose his shine.

— in my last job, I made a mistake and people got hurt — the confession was sincere. She wasn't lying, she was omitting that those people didn't just "got hurt", they died. She had killed them.

— You are human, humans make mistakes — he said stopping in front of an embellished door. — talk later? — he asked and Y/n nodded with a smile.

•••

After a month everything still was normal. No conspicuous action, no weird people. Y/n wondered why was she there? Was she really being punished by Fury? She had made a mistake, she had chose to save a person, she couldn't know that the objective was going to detonate the whole place. She couldn't read every single thought, her brain would melt if she even tried.

— Sorry, I need to... — said Sonny pointing at the copy machine, y/n blushed for being caught spacing out, again for the 4 time in a week

— I'm so sorry, allow me — y/n extended a hand offering to make the copy for Carisi.

— don't worry, I can push a button — he said making her smile and feel weird.

— please Mr. Carisi, let me be of help — she offered tilting her head a little bit, Sonny found that little action distracting and cute enough to give her the papers he needed to copy.

He saw her move, she was so elegant even just making copies.

— thank you — he told her sighing exhausted.

— don't worry Mr. Carisi, I'll do this, get it in a folder and get it back to you, why don't you go rest your eyes a bit? — she asked with a smile, noticing his tired demeanor

— I'll do it, if you start calling me Sonny — he negotiated and she laughed whole heartedly — come on, everytime you call me Mr. Carisi I feel like you are talking to my father —

— fine, you got yourself a deal — she offered her hand and he took her in his bigger one. Sonny felt asleep with the sound of the copy machine working.

— Sonny, Sonny — Y/n soft voice took him out of dreamland, he found out in that moment that his Nickname sounded awesome from Y/n lips.

•••

From Sonny's eyes y/n was an amazing woman who was able to help everyone with their tasks, she made copies, keep archives ordered, got everything for everyone. She made time to know all of the junior's ADA's of "her room", she served coffee when needed, got them food, kept clean clothes for them just in case. She was like a mother. Sometimes she even helped them found the info they needed. She made all of that and made it with a polite smile. She had been there for like a year and their interactions where short, but he was head over heels for her.

Why? Because she got a great sense of humor, she was nice, smart, sassy when needed, had an excellent memory, she made the best black coffee he had ever tasted. She never got nervous no matter the circumstances. He didn't understand how or why was she assigned to be the "mother hen" of 7 ADA's, but he was thankful. Some days became better the moment she gave him a smile and he imagined that smile was just for him.

Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose in pain. It was past midnight and he was still in his office, working on papers. Practicing his opening statement.

— the truth... The truth....— he repeated trying to remember the next point of the speach. He grunted frustrated.

— Sonny? — the sudden voice made the attorney jump and Y/n laughed.

— Geez, doll! — he exclaimed surprised — You should use a bell — added more awake than before.

— doll? — Y/n questioned rising an eyebrow, Sonny turned red.

— Sorry, I didn't mean to disrespect you — he quickly apologized.

— you didn't, I actually like it — she admitted — I'll allow it — added in a solemn voice — with a condition councilor, only in private I don't need more gossips going around—

After saying those words, Y/n knew that she was digging her own grave. She liked Sonny.

•••

Y/n looked at her phone horrified. Nick had send her and encrypted message. Which was resumed to: You are free of SHIELD, live the life of Y/n Veith. The life he had created for her, an identity that couldn't be connected to the Spy agency. Y/n Y/l/n had died in what they called something like the purge of Hydra. He didn't needed her. He had died. Captain america had basically destroyed the corrupted SHIELD. This was her life now. She was what? a secretary? An assistant?

She should had fail with SHIELD, she should had been there with Fury, protecting him. But she didn't. She pretended nothing happened and followed his last order to her: live like Y/n Veith.

She went with the flow. Acted like everything was just fine, made a routine, followed it to the last point. Untill one day out of the blue she broke down crying in Sonny's office. He was her friend.

— what happened? — he asked on the other side of the desk, surprised that in the middle of his speech, y/n started crying. The case was difficult, a father died to protect his daughter. The teenager girl had been raped and her father was killed by the rapist. It was way more complicated but, that were the facts.

— sorry, sorry — she said cleaning her face with her hands, Sonny approached and offered her a handkerchief that she took hesitantly. — I lost, I lost him — she stuttered.

Sonny kneeled by her side, took the handkerchief and cleaned her beautiful face.

— I'm so sorry, doll — he said even if he didn't understand, Y/n felt his consternation.

— my father died — she said with a soft voice — my house burned down — she added and Sonny understood, her father adopted her, he had saved her and then lost it all. The case had hit too close to her.

— Come on, we had enough of this case — he decided getting up, taking her hands to get her to stand — I'll take you home — he said and she smiled with sadness.

— I don't want to go to my department — she confessed getting up and Sonny gave her a soothing smile.

— We can go to my place — he offered without a second intention, she nodded and they walked away from the office, Sonny ordered an Uber.

Outside of One Hogan place with a heavy heart, y/n leaned against Sonny and he hugged her while waiting for their ride, and during the ride.

Y/n fell asleep without nightmares for the first time in the 6 months after the dead of Nick. Sonny by her side, over the covers and behind a "wall" of pillows fell asleep with the image of a peaceful Y/n.

•••

Three months later, Y/n entered Sonny's little office, she said a "sorry to interrupt", the blond man stopped writing and turned to her eagerly, he tried to suppress his desire to look into her eyes but he wasn't that good at that.

He hadn't seen her in more than 14 days thanks to his overflow of cases and her being stole by homicides DA, who had discovered she was very good in investing.

She muttered a "what?" In mockery, as if the distance and time hadn't even happened and added a "I got you a donut!". A donut that he had craved since morning but wasn't able to get. He sighed a laugh, sometimes it was as if she could read his mind.

— you are life saver, doll— he sighed in relief taking the donut from her hand.

— Should I get you some coffee? — she asked with that caring tone that made him feel special.

— I would love that — he accepted as she merrily went to the coffee machine and poured him a cup and then a glass of water.

Sonny wondered about where did those pretty and elegant glasses came from, have they always been there? She left a bag in the table and walked back to him. He pretended to be working but it was hard to act when she was walking towards him with that dark red pencil skirt that hug perfectly the curb of her hips, the black blouse making contrast, hanging a bit loose over her torso.

— thanks doll — he said when she put the coffee and water in a corner of the desk, he looked at her with a smile — water? — he asked with a joking tone, y/n nodded

— yes, sir — she said in the same joking mood — I took an account of the caffeine you ingest by day, this could be dangerous for your health, so for every cup of caffeine, one of water — she explained with as much confidence as a lawyer making an opening statement.

— are you worried about me? — he was almost flirting, she blushed even if they sometimes flirted a bit.

— I worry about all of you — she pointed out and gave a mischievous smile that made Sonny blush.

— thank you, doll — he quipped with a smile, she smiled back and walked away to Parish desk, the man sat there looked down to his papers as Y/n put a bagel by his hand.

Sonny noticed how Tommy's ears got as read as a tomato and turned to look at her with adoration, the same look the other ADA's got everytime she was near. He had seen how things slowly changed with Y/n presence, at first they were rude, condescending, then they realized that she was excellent in her work. She had saved all of them more than once with little actions.

Y/n had a charming aura and some men in the office had asked her out, Tommy included, but she always turned them down, with an excellent excuse. "I'm seeing someone".

Carisi wondered who. Who was she dating?

•••

— Coffee — she announced as she took a folder and put it carefully away.

Sonny smiled and suddenly thought of Y/n lie about she seeing someone. She had never tell him about her boyfriend, he thought of all of those slice of life moments they had, the banters they have, the many times she had helped him. The times she would stay in his apartment so she wouldn't be alone.

Was he the person she was seeing?

— do you have plans for tonight? — he asked abruptly and Y/n looked at him surprised.

— I got a date with my bed, but I can reschedule — she offered with a smile, she could rest later, she had to enjoy every moment with Sonny.

— do it, I'll take you to a wonderful place — He said with all of his confidence, she giggled — after work? — she nodded contently.

— It's a deal — she said before walking away with a big smile in her face.

Sonny felt stupidly happy. It was him. She was dating him unofficially.

•••

That night Y/n tried to look as perfect as was possible in work clothes, she had refreshed herself, use a little more of make up. She was excited, she really liked Sonny and had wanted to go on a date with him, no work talk, no solving ways to state a question. She wanted to know him in a more personal way.

They sat in a table of a nice looking bar, a decent one. It wasn't pretentious, they actually served food and not just greasy fast food. She had told him distorted versions of stories with her "family and friends", (since she couldn't talk about her real life and training) like that time her father had taught her how to use a gun for her homework and she discovered she had weak fingers.

She heard about his time as a Police officer, a detective nonetheless! Sargent Benson seemed to be a very empathic person, Detective Tutuola was definitely a funny man, Amanda was for him like one more of his sisters. And Sonny discovered that she was adopted by a man called Nick, Nick Veith he guessed, since he thought that was her real last name.

She had two "adopted" sister and a brother: Maria, Natalie and Clinton. Maria was righteous, Nat was smart and sassy, Clint was funny and sometimes really annoying. Sonny thought he would get along easily with them.

They laughed between stories, they were getting fun untill Y/n felt there was something wrong. Something was about to happen. Something bad.

— Something wrong? — Y/n barely registered Sonny's voice before jumping over him yelling a "get down". A telekinetic wake made the other around people fall to the ground just in time as a rain of bullets came from the broken windows.

Sonny heard the glass breaking, people screaming in panic. Saw the bullets fly over him and the bottles in the bar breaking in slow motion. He had never experienced anything like that. The light weight of Y/n over him. And his monkey mind thought about how right that felt.

There was a "clank" from a gas' bomb, then a flash and a cloud of white smoke. People stood up and started running.

— Y/n — Sonny pulled her to see her face, he thought she would be scared, paralyzed from fear. However, when he saw her face there was no fear, she seemed confused, puzzled. — come on, we have to move —

Y/n was thinking the same, but she didn't know what was the right move: defend everyone there using her not-so-human powers? Run away and pretend to be a delicate woman, scared of the situation?

— doll? — Sonny sounded worried and in almost panic, a switch turned as boots hit the floor of the bar.

— Stay behind me — Y/n said with confidence getting up, feeling the presence of 8 people surrounding them, circling them. — and... — she looked at Sonny worried — don't get scared — she pleaded softly.

— Y/n Y/l/n surrender yourself — someone yelled and the woman felt her skin crawl, she hadn't hear her name in more than a year. It sounded good.

— is this about the accords? — She thought, aware of the Sokovia accords and what they proposed. She hadn't signed them. No one was supposed to know about her, her powers, she hadn't expected the government to notice her.

Nat? Clint? Maybe Maria had told them.

— That's right, put your hands in the air — the man ordered in a shout. Y/n closed her eyes and closed her hand in a thigh fist, making the fog disappear.

— Sorry, I can't do that— she confessed pushing the man with telekinesis. — I'm not a weapon you can use —

A new row of bullets flew towards Y/n and Sonny. A bright green light appeared in her eyes and all of the bullets stopped in the air, traces of the same light that made Y/n shine seemed to contain the little bullets like tendrills, the bullets turned in the air pointing at the squadron that was attacking her

— Y/n, no! — Sonny made her react, the tendrills disappeared and the bullets fell useless to the ground as the woman turned to see the Attorney.

— Sonny, sonny — she stuttered worried— no, no, no, no, I would never hurt them, I'm not a monster, I'm not! — she said almost in panic,not because of the attack but for the ideas Sonny could get.

Sonny saw the green and now red light form an eyes over Y/n, then monsters from nightmares formed from the light, monsters like dogs, with skulls covering the hideous animals with blood dripping from their snouts, bodies wet with a black substance. The animals roared and jumped to defend them.

Y/n saw fear in Sonny's eyes. She recognized it, a bright tendril started to form in the exact point of her heart, the fear taking form in her presence. Her hand squished the light over her chest, stopping something else to form.

He didn't know what to say. Carisi knew about the avengers, the new york incident had affected his work, he had saw everything about "ultron", he was informed about Tony Stark and the avengers every move. But he didn't know what was he supposed to say? "Sign the accords" was what he wanted to say. It was selfish for him to ask that, he couldn't do it.

— doll, you're not a monster— he finally found his own voice to say that. — but you have to go —

— Sonny, I... — the ADA put a strand of hair behind Y/n ear taking her by surprise.

— If you don't mind, I'll like to kiss you — he said making her blink in disbelief.

— yes please...— she said and Carisi smiled brightly, his large hand caressed her cheek and softly leave a tender kiss in her soft lips. It barely lasted more than a second. When Carisi opened up his eyes, everything was back to normal. Like a couple of minutes ago, right before the shooting.

In the table was a note: "Don't tell anyone" he recognized Y/n writing. He wondered if everything had been a dream, a hallucination. A part of him told him that no, that couldn't be his imagination. Y/n had left.

#law and order special victims unit #marvel fanfiction #marvel cinematic universe #reader insert #marvel #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #sonny x reader #sonny carisi x y/n #sonny carisi x you #ada sonny carisi #requested #law and order svu

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fuckingfinwions · 3 years ago

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Anaire first heard about her family’s fracture from the potter.

Well, that wasn’t strictly true,. She heard about Feanor’s death the same day as everyone else, it was the only thing anyone was talking about.

She didn’t attend the funeral, as she felt no sorrow at his death, but her cook brought the news. Apparently, “the king’s reclusive brother” had been at the funeral, his first formal appearance since Feanor took the throne. Maedhros’s coronation was two days later, and Anaire scrambled to get an invitation. He would be addressing the whole city afterwards, a great speech in the town square, but she had no interest in that. What she cared about was the ceremony for the council, in front of a few hundred nobles. Unless Maedhros wished to pretend Nolofinwe was dead, her husband would have to formally cede his claim the throne. She would see him, hear his voice for the first time in decades.

Still, Anaire was cautious. Argon, for all he wished to meet his father and siblings, was not allowed to attend. She sent him out of the city entirely, to a cousin of her mother who lived halfway up the Pelori. Though none but her and Nolofinwe knew the truth, the resemblance would be unmistakable if they were in the same room. Anaire herself dressed finely but not extravagantly, in hopes of blending into the crowd, and promised herself that she would not cry out no matter what horrors she saw.

After all that effort, she only saw Nolofinwe for less than half an hour, across a crowded room. Anaire recognized the robes he wore; the had been sewn for Aredhel’s first begetting day. She supposed they had been in storage all this time, too fine for a servant but too festooned with his emblem and Finwe’s for anyone else to wear. He stepped forward, and she held her breath, not wanting to miss a word out of her husband’s lips - and hoping, perhaps, that he’d finally denounce his tormentor.

But Nolofinwe only said “I, Nolofinwe Arakano, son of Finwe Noldoran, acknowledge Maitimo Neylafinwe as the rightful King of the Noldor. King Nelyafinwe inherits his right from King Curufinwe, who inherited it from King Finwe the Wise. Myself and my house have no claim on the throne, nor shall we attempt to usurp the proper order.”

Nolofinwe left the stage, and rather than returning to his seat, seemed to be walking out the hall entirely. Anarie wondered if it could really be so simple. Was this all Maedhros demanded? Could she have her family back under one roof tonight, as long as they avoided politics for the rest of their days? She gathered her purse and started to stand up, ready to follow her husband.

Nolofinwe saw her though, and shook his head sadly. He glanced towards the doorway ahead of him, and Anaire saw that it was flanked by royal guards, one of whom already was unclipping something from his belt. Nolofinwe mouthed “Them, not me,” and went through the door, the guard reaching for his wrists and pulling him around the corner.

Anaire sat through the rest of the coronation without paying it much attention. If she paid too much attention to Maedhros, she would think about how he could’ve freed her family and had not; murderously glaring at the new king would draw suspicion. Instead she thought about Nolofinwe’s words. Presumably he was referring to their children? Had he somehow traded their freedom for his own? Or were they still captive, and he was begging her to save her efforts for them?

Anaire thought on this over the next week. She moved back into the house in the city center, as it was the only place her family would know to look for her, rather than the smaller home on the outskirts she shared with Argon. She waited for an piece of news or gossip, but there was no more about the secondary royal family than there had ever been. There were rumors about the sons of Feanor, that King Maedhros had stripped all of them from rank and then immediately given them titles. But the titles seemed to be fewer than he had brothers, rather than more as she would expect if Nolofinwe had bought status for their children.

So eventually, Anaire went to the pottery shop on the far side of town. The owner of the shop knew Aredhel was Anaire’s daughter, but had flatly refused to so much as let them go to dinner together, for fear of Feanor’s anger.

“She’s not apprenticing with me anymore. Said King Maedhros didn’t want her in the city, so she was going to Valmar. Apparently some Vanya named Elenwe was going to take her in. I don’t know why; there are a dozen better potters in the city, and someone who can clean a house can’t be hard to find either.”

The potter looked at Anaire to see how she took the news. She had never asked in detail why her student hated the palace so, but it hadn’t been hard to guess, sitting gingerly on her return and with rope marks when she rolled up her sleeves and bite marks when she tied back her hair. The potter hoped that this Elenwe would be kinder, but she very much expected Aredhel would have more of the same, and had no intention of discussing it with Aredhel’s mother.

However, Anaire was practically beaming. “Elenwe of the Vanyar? Well, then I simply must visit her, it’s been too long since I last traveled west.”

Anaire managed to compose herself for long enough to walk home, but she was overjoyed. Elenwe was Turgon’s wife, and Anaire had met her a few times. (Never with Turgon present, his absences form the city were far too sporadic for her to plan around.) Elenwe would look after Aredhel, even if there was no useful place for her in the household. And if Aredhel had mentioned Elenwe, that meant she was hoping Anaire would find her, that she thought it was safe to do so.

(Perhaps, even, there would be more of Anaire’s children there. Turgon for his wife and Fingon to lead the way on their journey. She had not seen either of them since they were children.)

- Anaire tells Argon it’s safe to come down from the hills

- They wait a month in case Maedhros is having Aredhel’s route watched

- Argon and Anaire travel to Valmar

- Introductions! Aredhel and Elenwe recognize Anaire. Anaire can kind of recognize Turgon.

- Argon is a surprise to everybody. Aredhel had relayed the “guess what we have another kid” message from Anaire to Nolo, but it was all couched in metaphor so Feanor couldn’t find out. “Tell your father I miss him very much, and the seasons seem to fly by without him to mark them even as the years drag on. It seems only yesterday it was sunny June, but now it’s dreary November and winter will be cold alone.” June and November were the months Anaire had bad morning sickness with Turgon and Fingon.

- Aredhel assumed this was some sort of code, but she’s not looking for more info about her family’s sex lives than she’s forced to know.

- Idril is around 5 or so years old. Argon is like sixteen. (using equivalent human ages)

- After initial introductions, Elenwe takes Idril to play in another room, so that the long lost families can reconnect

“So, how much does Argon know?” Turgon said to Anaire, who is apparently his mom?

“I’ve discussed the appropriate things for someone his age.”

Aredhel: “You realize that neither of us knows what that means right?”

Turgon nodded. “Elenwe and I decided that she would make all decisions about discussing sex, sexual development, and healthy relationships with Idril. Partially because I didn’t expect to see my daughter often, but also because my understanding of age appropriate information is very, very lacking.”

Argon: “I know that you two, and Dad and Fingon, were forced to work in the palace and not allowed to leave. I also know that you were - hurt - and that some of the ways you were corruptions of the marriage act.”

Aredhel: “Most of the ways we were hurt were sexual. And the groping wasn’t actually painful, but I sure as fuck didn’t want it.”

Argon: “I was being circumspect for your sake. I know what sex is, and you don’t have to talk to me like I’m a little kid.”

Aredhel looked at Anaire, who nodded in permission.

“I assume your sex ed came from a different direction than mine did. ‘You know that thing the King does to Dad? If it’s between a man and woman rather than two men, babies can happen! Sometimes it feels good, sometimes it feels painful, and sometimes how good it feels is just another way you’re being twisted up to serve them. Also, the king started doing it to your big brother, so you’re being sent away from your family in hopes that this horrible sex thing will happen to you less.’ But I guess it worked, in that the potter at least was able to explain how women prevent babies in case any of them got the idea to try.”

Anaire was shocked. “I’ve never heard you mention this before. That was why you were apprenticed?”

Ardehel: “Yeah, Dad said I shouldn’t talk about sex with anyone outside the palace. They’d be horrified and try to do something, but they wouldn’t be able to actually help. Then King Feanor would be mad we told, and take his temper out on us, and honestly the difference between him not caring if we enjoyed sex and him trying to make it hurt was pretty fucking big. So I kept quiet. It seemed fair to tell you the broad strokes of what was happening to your kids and husband, but knowing details wouldn’t help.”

Anaire: “I wouldn’t cal the fact that you were in danger of being raped at age twelve a detail.”

Turgon: “She wasn’t. None of us were actually, Feanor didn’t keep very close track of us but dd ask Dad when our begetting days were, and get around to using us for the first time about a month after we came of age. I think Fingon had it worse honestly, he didn’t see it coming.”

Argon: “What do you mean, did he not know Feanor raped people?”

Turgon: “We knew he raped Dad, we walked in on them often enough in the middle of our chores. But he mostly ignored us when we were kids, other than making sure we were around to threaten Dad with. None of us expected that to change.”

Aredhel: “But once Feanor started paying attention, he didn’t forget. Fingon told me later that Feanor used his mouth ten times in that first month.”

Argon: “Wait, Feanor used his mouth - do you mean Feanor kissed Fingon?”

Turgon: “No, Feanor didn’t go in for the fake romance. He made had Fingon suck his cock, and came in it rather than in his ass. Which is generally less painful than unprepared anal sex at least.”

Anaire: “And Fingon and your father are still stuck there? That’s terrible!”

Aredhel shrugged. “I mean, Feanor’s dead, and now there’s only two people allowed to use them instead of eight. It’s better than it was.”

Turgon nodded. “Maedhros is one of the better ones who could have ended up in charge. He goes for his own pleasure rather than pain or humiliation, and he prefers sex in bedrooms - in beds, even.”

Argon, who has not learned nearly enough tact yet: “As opposed to-”

Turgon: “Busy hallways. Up against the wall. Down in the dirt in the stable-yard - or in the woods. Inside a moving carriage. In the middle of the room with nothing to brace yourself on, but not allowed to even fall to your knees.”

Argon: “Is it hard to stay upright during sex?”

Anaire: “Yes, and you don’t need more details.”

Aredhel: “Yeah, he presumably won’t be punished for not knowing them. So Argon, what do you do?”

Argon: “I don’t have a particular craft that calls to me, so I’m still doing general studies.”

Aredhel: “Which is what? I think some of the normal servant kids had education past age ten, but not most of them. Elves are smart enough that you can be literate and know the basics of history and all the math that’s practical by then.”

#servant nolofinweans au #timeline branch: Maedhros gets the concubines #not archived yet #sidenote now that it's her own family on the line you could probably get Nerdanel to help with a rescue attempt #get Nolo and fingon and Curufin and Celebrimbor all out at once #Nerdanel in my dark!Feanor stories tends to be sort of selfish / focused on a small area #what matters to her is whether her family is safe; she could care less about general ethics #outsider POV

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throwaninkpot · 4 years ago

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RotT reactions part 2!

costis, what are you doing here, shouldn't you be in roa? shouldn't you be with kamet? costis, where's kamet? what happened to him? tell me!

"who really owns anything?" eugenides, you utter meme.

if tattoos a custom in eddis, does. .....does helen have tattoos? oh my word, please tell me helen has tattoos, she would look so cool.

so, so, so, horrible invasion, giant army, logistics of war. it's very terrible and interesting, but where kamet? where my boy? is he okay? costis just LEFT him behind, bc he had to get word back to attolia, I don't blame him, I love him. but is kamet okay????????????????????

rip to all the cottage fic people probably wrote about the two having a chill time in roa. (idk, I haven't checked.) megan said we can't have nice things.

"find yourselves another king" uhhhhhhh, gen?

gen said no more king, now only Thief and Hot Consort To The Sexy Queen.

awww, sophos gave him a book of poetry for his birthday. I love sophos.

"attolia says she leaves with you" *spends several long minutes clutching at my chest repeatedly as I am Overwhelmed*

you know the quote in koa about a careful dance of shafow and unsubstance but under it all, a real marriage of two people? that's literally this. the queen is surely calculated her possible responses to gen, amd this is either a Pointed Message to gen or to the barons, and I'm still not sure what gen is up to actually, but also. she loves him, guys. they're in love. "she leaves with you". they're in love.

"I asked her to leave with me on our wedding night" of course he did.

"except me, I can do anything I want" :'D

they're too soft. I cannot.

go, costis! save your boy!

..........is this where I formally apologize for rolling my eyes back in 2016 when people shipped teleus/relius? I genuinely did not see this coming.

megan said okay, we've been on our best behavior, it's been 25 years, she will sprinkle in a little canon queerness. and then upended a flour sack of it on us.

"he had to bend to keep his lips on hers until she reached the ground" they're too cute, this is illegal.

oh, now THAT'S some soap opera level nonsense. how awkward was it for gen and helen knowing his father was a spurned lover of her mother

sometimes soldiers. I am eating this stuff up.

they get no apology. h*ck the pents. maybe they should have chosen an ambassador that didn't force himself upon women.

"where sounis's father positively beamed with approval at his son, eddis's minister of war glowered. the high king, slumped in his seat, catching his father's glare, slumped even further." it be like that.

ten to one. oof, oof, oof.

okay, the solution is, one of gen's sisters should beat up cleon and therespides.

gen. you were the one paying him. I don't know why I'm ever surprised by the tangled schemes you wrap yourself up in.

every scene that the four monarchs are together, just having a good time and loving each other and sounding so much like the young people they are, every time, it makes me happy.

the fandom tried to figure out at what age boys left the dorms in Eddis, didn't we? I think we settled on 12 or 13. gen killed someone before he was 13. hachi machi.

he called him "my brother sounis". awww.

"without cheating" is that what we're calling godly visits now

eugenides will give me a heart attack, I swear.

they call it return of the thief bc this is the most like himself gen has acted since the crenellations in KoA.

(fitting that this is the book with a neuroduvergent pov, bc I have never happy stimmed more in my life than during the chase scene.)

when he starts windmilling, now I am afraid. oh please, megan, don't let him be hurt.

thank the gods.

helen wearing an eddisian uniform. heck yeah! gnc helen rights continue!

"it was the last lighthearted moment for a long time" :(

they're leaving the city, and I'm suddenly remember the comment from back in book of pheris 1 about an attack by a tomb. am afraid.

it's loving the magus o' clock. he treats pheris so well.

irenides baby......2!!!!

"I don't understand" you and me both, sophos.

"I think they have to show their worst selves sometimes in order to be sure that even at their worst they are loved" I need a minute.

I love tactics and logistics, but I wish I could picture this my head. the map doesn't actually help me figure out where the forces are in perspective.

megan really wasn't exaggerating when she said eugenides's first reaction to seeing an elephant is "I want to steal one."

"he muscled up his other arm and said he would destroy the Medes single-handed" these books are giving me a stroke. megan, that pun was beautiful.

"I have found Kamet!" I'm going to be sick. he had better be okay. he was supposed to be free of nahuseresh.

nasty man had better be lying. my kamet had better be okay.

oh, costis. okay, okay, alright.

why is cleon's death so sombering. I think it's bc I just reread "Thief!", and met him as a teenager in that. I think it's bc it says he's one of three cousins that died that day, and gen already lost so many cousins during the war in QoA. I loved the country of eddis when I was first reading these books and forever after that, bc it's so full. there's a very communal child-rearing system and gen has these packs of cousins, even if most of them spent their childhood bullying him, I loved the idea of having so much family around you. he's running out of family.

oh. I went back to reading from writing that, and. stenides. oh.

I said I wanted gen's siblings, but not like this.

well, here's some cairns. presumably the tombs pheris's foreshadowed earlier. here we go, something bad is going to happen.

Something Bad Happened.

oh, no, Hilarion. D:

*tiffany haddish voice* NOMENUS??? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS. I PUT YOU ON MY BINGO.

the man at the cairn. the god on the battlefield that megan referenced? but eugenides called him a dead man. so not a god. so, did he recognize him as someone he knew to be dead?

"my cousins know not to trust my tears" once again, gen's hail mary is the fact he's a little snipe.

he says he needs a heavier rain, and the gods deliver.

f in chat for nomenus. he was a snake, but still.

"and by my oath to my god, now and for my life, Thief of Eddis." YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Philo. :(

rip to Legarus and his Awesome Beauty.

they want to kill gen in The Thief? eddis's council wanted to kill him? I'm reeling from all the backstory this book is revealing.

not quite how I had the apotheosis pictured, and yet. *sufjan steven's ascension plays in the background*

"I say it three times, Fordad. It will be so. It will be so. It will be so." holy heck.

someone get in here and analyze that for biblical symbolism.

HE CALLED DOWN LIGHTNING. HOLY

narration only calls him eugenides in that scene with the lightning. significant.

"feeling the tremor in it, he opened his arms to catch the king as he fell." he has fallen and been caught by his god and fallen and been caught by his dad.

I think we'll call the interregnum an interlude into the underworld, if not a journey into.

oh, gods, relius.

for a former spymaster, he sure trusted too easily.

he could have had his farm in the gede valley, but he stayed to help irene and gen. oh, relius, relius.

sejanus has a saving grace afterall.

dite and sejanus protecting each other, and pretending to hate each other so that sejanus at least can be on good terms with their father, that all clicks into place when you know about their older brother who they probably loved just as much.

crying crying crying over Sejanus and Pheris.

the minster of war. D:

at least nahuseresh is dead.

gen lay down to sleep by his father's corpse.

the patrimony divided in three. a triangle.

sophos/helen baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that gen, knowing his cousin and also being a little sneak who notices everything, figured out helen was pregnant before sophos even did.

f for sejanus. he wasn't as bad as he seemed, and not nearly as bad as he almost was.

oh, xenophon died, too. he of the wooden cannons and receiver of the infamous "I love stupid plans" line.

why is everyone dead. :(

"they're at the pickets, both of them" oh, thank you, jesus. TWO PEOPLE WHO AREN'T DEAD. MY BOYS.

she dreams of Eddis empty. there's no words for the relief I feel.

twinssss!!

and yet they don't tell us the name!!!!! what was the MoW's name??? what is their son's name??? megan!!!!!!

gen holding his daughter for the first time and offering to pitch her off a roof. I don't even have words.

hector. hector. hector hector hector.

rooftop dance!!!!!!!!!!!

HE'S OKAY. RELIUS IS OKAY.

(you couldn't give us one costis and kamet dance? no, it's fine.)

peace. peace. peace.

crying.

#queen's thief #return of the thief #rott spoilers #rott #qt spoilers #this has been a post

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years ago

Note

Hey! love your blog. Could you do a cinderella au maybe?? Thanks

James had had a good life up until his parents died. First his mum had died, and it was a couple years before his dad remarried. He didn't begrudge him for it. Mum had been kind, but she was gone and he deserved to be happy. His stepmother was nice enough up until Dad died, and then it was like living in hell on Earth. Apparently the nice stepmother thing had been an act. His stepsisters had always been kind of bitches, but now it was worse. They didn't have any appearances to keep up, and the only way James could stay happy was by avoiding them.

So James avoided his step family whenever he could because if they saw him, they'd remember that he existed. If they remembered that he existed, they would do one of two things. 1. Mock him or 2. Give him a chore to do since they'd fired most of the staff when his father died and subsequently decided that James would do all of it. Some years after his father's death, they'd sold the estate despite James's protests-- it was a family home, one the Potter's had lived at for several generations-- and moved to a smaller home. Much smaller. Small enough that it wasn't completely ludicrous to expect for James to be able to take care of its upkeep.

If he were younger, or perhaps his parents still lived, he wouldn't have hesitated in tossing them out on their arses, or making them so unhappy that they would leave of their own free will. But his parents were dead and he was older now. Old enough and lonely enough that he didn't fancy trying to make an entirely new life for himself with no friends. This was his life now, and he didn't plan on doing much to change that.

Until, of course, there was an event that changed his life-- not that he ever could have predicted it.

James was in charge of picking up and handling the post. That meant he was the first one to see the royal invitation. There was a ball. One being held at the palace that invited all people of marrying age in the kingdom to see the prince and hair apparent for the throne so that he might choose someone to marry. James had the vicious urge to throw the invitation away. His step-sisters would be primping and preening every day until the ball finished, and he was going to have to deal with it. Not just their horrid attitudes, but their hair and makeup and dresses. When both of them failed to wed the prince, James was sure they would blame him instead of their own lack of good looks or will.

He would have thrown it away too, if it weren't for the knowledge that they'd find out about the ball from some other source and then he'd be in deep shite. No. Better to give it to them now and bear the next month as well as he could.

Easier said than done.

James blinked. "What do you mean?"

"Have you gone deaf while I was in the market today?" Step-mother asked, none too kindly. "You will not be accompanying us to the ball. I am more than capable to looking after my daughters without your interference. Besides, you would not make the impression we are hoping to make."

"You're delusional if you think the prince is going to look twice at either of those hags." It would've been smarter if he kept his mouth shut, he knew, but he'd been looking forward to going. To seeing people again.

"So... what are you?" James asked. "Fairy? Witch?"

"Something like that," the man who had introduced himself as Remus said.

"Why are you helping me?"

"I'm not exactly filled with goodwill. I'm doing you a favour so you'll do me a favour."

"I don't have much," James said with a wry twist of his mouth.

"It's something you are plenty capable of doing. All I need is for you to deliver a message to Prince Sirius for me. Maybe a few messages, if you manage to give the first one and get one in return."

"Why can't you do it yourself?" James wanted to immediately accept. Not only was Remus offering to get him into the ball, but he was offering to give him appropriate clothes and fix him up for it-- with a little magic, of course. He'd be able to go the party of the decade without any worries, able to just enjoy himself for a few days.

Remus's nose twitched. "His parents aren't very fond of me." He gestured to the scars on his face and added, "They've made it quite clear over the years. So long as both of them are living, I can't step foot on the castle grounds, and Sirius is watched too carefully to get out to meet me. So? Do we have an agreement?"

"Why not," James muttered. It's not like he had much to lose if this was a set-up. Besides that, what would anyone stand to gain from this? James was at the bottom of the pecking order these days.

James hadn't looked this good in... well, years. After his mother died, he hadn't had much cause to dress up for events because he was no longer attending them. He'd looked nice for his father's marriage, but he'd gotten bigger since then. All the housework had made his shoulders broad enough that he wouldn't have fit in his old clothes anyways.

The clothes Remus had conjured for him were gold. In another kingdom, that might have gotten him into trouble-- someone not royal wearing the colour that was usually reserved only for them-- but the Black family kept silver as their royal colour. James didn't think much of it until the Prince saw James out of the corner of his eye and immediately started working his way over. Was gold a signal colour for Remus and the Prince, and Remus had forgotten to tell him? That would certainly explain Remus's certainty that James would be able to pass along the message.

James had that idea firmly in mind when the Prince got up close to him, a smirk making him appear even more handsome. Bloody hell, people who were born in royal families should not be allowed to be that gorgeous. There should be a rule that you can either be born into the most powerful family, or you can be the most handsome man on the planet. Being allowed to do both was going to make James's heart stop before he had a chance to really enjoy the ball.

"Hello," the Prince said, smirk widening into a smile. "I'm Sirius."

James was staring. He knew that he should say something, but he couldn't unstick his tongue from the top of his mouth.

"This is the part where you tell me your name."

"James. I'm er, James."

"Nice to meet you James." Sirius glanced around them. "Are you here as an escort?"

James snorted. He'd absolutely be murdered if his step-family discovered that not only was he here, but he was talking to the Prince. "Not as such, no."

"Dance with me."

"Aren't you supposed to ask, not order?"

"Well you're not here to escort someone, which means you're here for me. If you're here for me, why would I bother to ask when the answer is going to be a yes?"

"A fair point, if a touch unoriginal."

"Unoriginal?" the Prince repeated, raising an eyebrow. He was still smiling though, so he wasn't offended. "I would like to think that I maintain most of my originality by not asking if you wanted to dance with me."

"Ah, I guess that means I have to dance with you."

The Prince's smile widened. "Quite." He offered his hand, and James let himself get pulled onto the dance floor.

It had been a while since he'd been the center of attention, and he found that he still remembered how to deal with it. A hint of a smile as his resting his face, and he didn't make eye contact with anyone without making it seem like he was avoiding looking. That part was easy. The less easy part was pretending like he wasn't as effected by the Prince's presence as he was. It was one thing to meet him, smile at him, and exchange a few words. James had expected all of that as a matter of course when delivering the letter-- which he hadn't forgotten about, but he was going to wait for a time when less people were staring-- but now his hand was in the Prince's, and he had an arm wrapped around his waist.

He wasn't pressed all against him so much as to be improper, but it was enough that James could feel the heat radiating from him. Their faces were close enough that he could see the flutter of dark eyelashes when the Prince blinked, could feel his breath, and see the light sheen of sweat across his brow.

"So, James. What brings you to this disaster of a ball?"

"Doesn't seem so disastrous to me."

"That's because you're not the one everyone's groping. Not that you're not worthy of it," the Prince said with a wink.

"You're the one that approached me, so I hope you don't consider this to be another unwanted grope," James said. The only thing worse than getting out of this party without having a good time, would be if he had a horrible time. If the Prince hated him after this, that would be... well, another disappointment to add to his life. One he certainly did not need. "And if you didn't want this ball, why are you holding it?"

"My parents are holding it."

"Ah. Well thank you for the dance all the same."

"Don't go running off," the Prince said, arm tightening a fraction like he thought James was going to run for the hill. "You're the first decent person I've met all night."

"Yes, with all that talking we've done."

The Prince shrugged. "You're fit, as well. I won't say that had nothing to do with my decision. Mostly though, I liked your clothes. It takes stones to wear a traditionally royal colour to an event like this."

"I can't say I had much to do with it."

"Your parents give you as hard a time as mine?"

"Not my parents, no. A friend of yours, actually. Bugger didn't even ask first. Personally, I would've gone with red."

"Red's a good colour, if it doesn't make you look pale as a bloody ghost, that is. Who is this friend we seem to have in common?"

There was a careful lightness to the Prince's words. He knew who James was going to say, but he wasn't going to out himself first. "Didn't catch a name," James lied. A description of Remus would get him in less trouble than saying his name. There wasn't any plausible deniability if he said the name. "Pleasant disposition. Had a few scars on his face."

The Prince's arm tightened again, reflexively. "How is he?" he asked quietly.

"He looked alright when I saw him. It's not like we're mates. He did me a favour, so I'm doing him one. I've got a letter for you from him."

"Too many people watching right now."

"I've noticed."

The Prince hummed. "I suppose we should enjoy the rest of this dance, then."

James hadn't been sure he would remember all the steps, but not once for the rest of the song did he step on the Prince's toes or turn the wrong direction.

The Prince left him with a kiss on the cheek and a muttered, "I'll find you later, don't leave."

"Did he get the letter?" Remus asked, and James nodded.

He was out of his fancy clothes, but the confidence it had given him lingered. He used to be like this all the time. It used to be that he wouldn't have let his step-family push him around like they did, but he'd been blind with grief and done nothing. "Thanks for the clothes. I had fun."

Remus glanced at him. "Aren't you going again tonight?"

James shrugged. "One night was fun, but it's not as if I'm going to the ball for the reason everyone else is."

"So? You wanted to enjoy yourself. The ball lasts for two more nights, and you have the suit for it. Besides, if I know Sirius, he'll send something in return. If you're not there, I'll have no one to retrieve it for me."

It didn't take much convincing.

The second night of the ball, the Prince greeted him with a bright smile. He slid a return letter to James at the beginning of the night, but he came back to keep dancing with him. Could James read into that? Could he expect that it meant something other than James was the point of contact between the Prince and Remus?

The Prince, who kept coming to him dances and smiling like the was the damn sun of his life. The Prince, who kept telling James that he should call him Sirius instead of Your Majesty. The Prince, who at the end of the night, pressed a kiss to James's cheek that caught the corner of his mouth-- and not on accident. "You're coming back tomorrow night, yes?"

"Not going to order it?" James joked to hide his nerves.

"Haven't you heard the story? If you let something go and it returns to you, you get to keep it." The way Sirius kissed the back of his hand after saying it was innocent; the look he gave James as he did it was not. "I hope to see you again, James."

James swallowed, said a perfunctory goodbye, and practically fled the ball.

What was he doing? This was a favour for Remus. He was passing a few messages between two friends who couldn't see each other in person. That's it.

"Are you going back tonight?" Remus asked, his gaze far too perceptive.

"Not unless you have a return letter you need for me to pass."

"I don't."

James's shoulders sagged without him meaning for it to happen.

"If you want an excuse, I could always manufacture one."

James glared at him, but it had no effect. Remus calmly raised an eyebrow and held that expression until James cracked. "He acted like he wanted to see me."

"And this is... bad?"

"No, but Sirius said that he didn't like the ball. And then he goes and asks for me to come back."

Remus didn't respond immediately, taking the time to choose his words carefully. "In my experience, Sirius doesn't ask for things he does not want. If he asked for you to come back, I believe that he means it in the same way you want it to mean. Whether or not you decide to go though," Remus said, turning his attention to the book he'd been reading when James came by, "do remember that the magic runs out after midnight. Like everything else in this world, it has a time limit." There was the weight of a world in what he wasn't saying, and it was impossible for James to miss it.

"But... you came back," Sirius said, sounding crushed. His eyes were wide and uncomprehending. He still had a firm hand in James's jacket sleeve, the only place he'd been able to catch when James tried to run.

James swallowed thickly. "I wanted to see you again."

"Then stay."

James shook his head. Remus's magic did a bit more than conjure the suit he was wearing; it had gotten rid of the cuts and burns on his hands and made him look presentable for high society in a way he hadn't been for years. He didn't want Sirius to see him like that. Sirius was... he was amazing. Too high up for James to be able to touch. Like a cloud in the sky, no matter how close it looked, he was too far away for James to hold and make his.

"James no, please-"

"I can't. I can't-" he shook his head again. He couldn't do this. He couldn't try only for it to fail or for Sirius's parents to decide that he wasn't a suitable match and be met with the same curse that had been laid on Remus. James wrenched his arm free, losing a button to Sirius's fingers, and he ran. He started running, and he didn't stop until after the spell ended, leaving him in his usual raggedy wardrobe.

James opened the door and froze. How was Sirius- but no, that wasn't Sirius. James peered at him and decided that this must be another member of the royal family. Not old enough to be the King or Queen, but he was close enough in looks that he was definitely related to Sirius.

"Can I help you?" he asked.

Wordlessly, he held up the button that had been attached to James's jacket. "Magic is funny. Had it still been attached to the rest of the clothes, it would've vanished, but separated like that, it could be traced back to you. I'm Regulus, Sirius's brother." Regulus didn't have the same casualness to his posture that Sirius had had. He held himself a touch stiffly, like he was paying attention to a tutor instead of confronting someone who was basically a peasant. "He misses you rather terribly, you know. Won't shut up about it, as a matter of fact. Our parents told him that he had to choose someone to marry like they agreed, and he says that he did choose. However, since you refused to stay and went missing, they are at a stalemate."

James swallowed. "That's not my problem," he said quietly.

"Perhaps not," Regulus said in a way that meant he did not agree with James, "but it most certainly is my problem and I have no patience. You're coming with me."

"That's kidnapping."

"Not when you're a prince."

"Do you really think you could force me?" James asked. He'd rejected Sirius once, and that was all he had the strength for. If he saw him again, he wouldn't be able to say no a second time.

"I don't believe you're going to make it that big a problem for me. You see, you care for Sirius, whether you want to admit it or not. So when I say that if you don't come along, my parents will take drastic measures that will make Sirius very unhappy, I know you won't resist."

"You're lying," James said, but he wasn't certain. He didn't know Sirius's parents, and he didn't know Regulus.

"Is that a chance you're willing to take?"

James grit his teeth. "I can't just leave in the middle of the day with no warning. My family-"

"Will be taken care of," Regulus said with a careless wave. "Stop wasting time. I've got one rather incensed brother to calm down before trying to sell your relationship to our parents."

"I can't believe you ran away from me," Sirius said, months after the ball and weeks after they'd gotten married-- the marriage would've been sooner had it not been a royal wedding and not needed as much planning.

James snorted, working out a tangle in Sirius's hair with his fingers. "Frankly, I don't know what else you expected."

"Something other than utter rejection at the hands of my one true love. A kiss, perhaps? A responding declaration?"

James kissed the top of his head. "Love you."

Sirius tilted his head to glare at him. "It doesn't count now. You needed to do it back then."

There was no magic that James had heard of that could turn back time, and even if there were, he could neither do it nor have access to it. So, in lieu of saying he would fix it or would've done differently (a lie), James gave him a kiss that made the scowl disappear from his husband's face. "I think it counts just enough, saying it right now."

Sirius grumbled a bit, but it was for show as he relaxed against him.

#prongsfoot #marauders #sirius black #james potter #fanfic #remus lupin #regulus black #filled #getting together #post hogwarts #fusion #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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emily-strange · 5 years ago

Text

Second Chances

Wow so this chapter...feels like I’ve been working on it for years! haha But we got there in the end. I’m going to be on and off here today because it’s my birthday and I’ll either be off playing games to distract myself or in a cupboard crying because I feel old haha

Really hope you enjoy this chapter!! Please let me know what you think xx

Tagging: @porkchop-ao3 @redeadepression @lucacangettathisasss @janewilson-rdo @gangofgunslingers @fangirl-ramblings and @sleepylunarwolf who asked but if you’d like me to stop let me know :) Apologies if you’ve asked to be tagged and I haven’t - please just send me another message! :)

For the premise of this story, Jack is a little bit younger. I just can’t hurt that boy’s feelings!

Summary: You’re Sadie Adler’s 18 year old daughter who was visiting when the O’Driscoll’s attack. How will you cope with gang life and your increasing feelings for someone who, on the surface, isn’t up for grabs?

Pairing: John Marston x female reader

Warnings: None that I can think of!

Chapter 7

You see Hosea glance at you but you don’t make eye contact with him, you just play with the skirt of your dress and try to seem less frazzled than you actually feel. He’d caught you off guard and you know he noticed it.

Hosea whistles and calls for Arthur to loop around and come back to the wagon, which he does with the greatest of ease. Even with your new little horse in tow. When he reaches the front of the wagon, Hosea pulls on the horses to stop the wagon.

“It’sa nice day. Miss Adler ‘nd I are gonna take the scenic route back ta camp. You good?” Hosea asks Arthur even though you all know it isn’t a question. Arthur looks at you and then scoffs a little bit, shaking his head while grumbling something like, “Alright” under his breath. He really can be so grumpy.

Hosea takes out the large stack of bills from his breast pocket and dolls it out amongst the three of you. He hands two piles to Arthur for camp and himself, then hands a pile to you.

You take the stack and look through bills, “Wow…” you say quietly to yourself. Trying to forget the people, or person, that the money came from. You then turn to Hosea and say appreciatively, “…..minus the amount for the horse?”

Hosea chuckles and stuffs his pile back into his pocket, “Now, I’m making an….executive decision here and sayin’ that boys an investment fer the camp. So, camp’ll pay….You two happy with that!?”

Hosea looks at Arthur who holds up his hands up in surrender before putting his money away. You open your mouth to protest but Arthur beats you to it saying, “I’d just agree if I were you Miss. He’s likea dog with a bone when he gets an idea into him.”

“Okay…” you say to Hosea, your smile beaming, “Thank you Mr Matthews.” You lean across the seat and give Hosea a small kiss on his cheek.

“Best not be doin’ that either, think his heart’ll give out!” Arthur laughs heartily and Hosea reaches for his gun. “Think that’s ma queue!” Arthur says before manoeuvring the horse’s round again.

“Can you please tell my mom that I’m fine….oh and ask Kieran to check over my new baby?” You ask Arthur who shakes his head and replies, “That best not be his new name.”

“Well….” You pretend to think to yourself, “….he is a Morgan. Maybe I’ll call him Arthur.”

Hosea bursts out a large laugh and Arthur grumbles to himself, “Never heard that one before.”

You smile at Arthur who huffs lightly and tips his hat. He gently kicks the horses into a gallop and you smile watching your new horse trot away, knowing he’s safe with Arthur. He’s grumpy but he loves those horses. You’ve seen him sneak your boy a treat or two already.

“Shall we?” Hosea asks readying the reins and you nod happily singing, “We shall!”

Hosea gets the wagon going again and you ride in comfortable silence for around 15 minutes. He stops at a lovely grassy bank next to a large lake and you eagerly jump down, not waiting for Hosea to help you. While Hosea secures the horses, you walk to the waters edge and squint as the sun glares off of the water.

“Me and Bessie stopped at this lake many a time on the way back from town.” He says looking out into the water. You can tell whoever she was meant a great deal to him.

“Bessie was my wife” Hosea confirms and moves to sit on a large overturned log; groaning a bit as he sits, “We lost her a while back now. Still feels like yesterday.”

You take a seat next to him and think about your father.

“Does it ever get better?” you ask Hosea in a small voice, “Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe it hurts so much.”

Hosea sighs and you know he’s choosing his words carefully.

“It doesn’t always get...better..” he says, stopping briefly, “but it does get easier to carry.”

You nod, mostly to yourself and Hosea bumps your arms with his. Bringing you back to the present.

“Now, I’m not usually in the business of gossiping.” He begins, giving a slight chuckle, “However..John..” Hosea trails off and shakes his head, almost as if he isn’t sure how to phrase it. You sit quietly and allow him the space to think. After about half a minute, Hosea continues, gesturing with his hands as he speaks.

“You haveta understand that John and Arthur, they grew up tough. It was hard on them. Those boys…” Hosea sighs, “Me and Bessie, we couldn’t have kids. Probably for the best considering our lifestyle but..they were ours you know? We raised them as ours.” You smile and nod, imagining a pair of young (and grumpy) misfit teenagers.

Hosea sees you smile and laughs.

“You know, I don’t think John’s properly cut his hair since Bessie died. She used ta have Arthur pin him down just so she could shear that mop.” He grins while putting his head in his hands dramatically.

“Something I’m sure he appreciated greatly” you laugh. You look at Hosea and watch as his eyes swim with all the memories his heart clearly holds. He takes a moment and adjusts his hat, shielding himself from the bright sun. And possibly shielding his eyes from you.

“But as I was sayin’. They didn’t have it easy. Arthur’d been with us a long while before Dutch saved John..” Hosea continues but your brain jumped at the word “saved”. You opened your mouth to ask but Hosea cut you off, “Now I’ll let John tell you about his past. Some things a man should be allowed to keep to himself if he so chooses.”

You try to understand where Hosea is coming from but it just confuses you.

“Why share anything with me then? About John?” you ask, honestly curious as to why the older man would ‘indulge in gossip’ as he put it.

Hosea glances at you and gives a small, sweet smile, “Honestly? Because no one’s ever seemed bothered before...about how John is. Not since Bessie anyway…I think that might be the biggest reason he ran off.”

“Something was mentioned about him leaving….” You say quietly.

“Mmhm for about a year. After Jack was born…it was tough on him. But runnin’ off…” Hosea is the picture of a disappointed father as he shakes his head, “for a while we thought he was dead. But then people’d seen him about so. That’s when we knew. If I had’ta guess, I’d say that’s what hurt Arthur the most. Thinkin’ his brother was dead. Then finding out he’d just taken off.”

“I get it..” you say begrudgingly. Part of you had hoped Arthur was being petty in his feelings towards John but honestly you really did understand. You take a second to ponder over how someone might feel if you just took off one day, or night, without a word. The memories threatening to invade your mind make you feel less than relaxed so you jump back into the conversation with another question. “Did he just..waltz back in one day?”

“Basically” Hosea nods and gives a grim laugh, “I think he was expecting more of a fight. He came in with his back up, waitin’ for a punch but Arthur just…walked away.”

“That was probably worse.” You recognise and Hosea agrees. “John said he went to Arthur when Abigail told him she was pregnant. That all he said was that it was time to ‘be a man’.”

Hosea scoffs, “I’m sure he did. Arthur had his reasons for reacting that way…but I agree with what you’re getting at. He could’ve handled it better.”

Hosea gets up and stretches out his back with an over the top groan. You watch him as he settles his hands on his hips and turns to you. “Now, Miss Adler, why don’t you just ask what I know you’re dyin’ to ask.” He says smiling perceptively at you.

“John’s not Jack’s father is he?” you blurt out and Hosea lets out a long, deep breath before simply saying, “I don’t believe so, no.”

All of a sudden you jump up from your seat on the log, causing the older man to flinch. You stomp childishly over to Hosea and find yourself in front of him before your brain even registers that you’ve stood up.

“I don’t understand you people!” you almost yell, “He’s…he’s struggling. He doesn’t eat, do you know that? He thinks no one notices, but I did, I do. He doesn’t…people are...and well Abigail she’s..” you flail your arms around. Completely exasperated, “I don’t understand you all.”

You shake your head when Hosea stays quiet. You can see that part of him is ashamed. It’s in the way he hangs his head, avoiding eye contact with you completely. You go and sit back down on the log with a thud, “You all go on about being family…but when one of you are struggling….you’re just setting him up to fail.”

“I know it might seem that way y/n but John knew what he was riskin’ when he started seein’ Abigail. Dutch has always preached about goin’ outside’a camp for…companionship. Not that he practices it himself of course.” Hosea grumbles and comes to sit next to you as you listen, “I did warn him. As did Arthur.”

Hosea sighs and scratches at his chin. You don’t know what you’d expected when you decided to get answers from one of the gang’s elders, but this horrible sinking feeling wasn’t it. John’s situation seems well and truly stuck.

“Arthur’s always gained somethin’ from being alone. Like he thrives on that feelin’. Be it good or bad!” Hosea laughs humourlessly, “But John…being alone, it almost…cripples him. Used ta drive Arthur nuts, couldn’t get a moments peace when John was younger. Always wanting someone with him. Needing someone next to him when he slept.”

“That’s so…sad.” You say and Hosea looks at you. After a moment you both break into a morbid little chuckle which erupts into full blown laughter. You don’t know why you’re laughing, it’s horrible really. But it’s almost so sad that if you don’t find the humour in Arthur’s annoyance then all you’d do is cry.

“Oh and doesn’t that sum everything up nicely?” Hosea says once the laughter subsides, “Sad.”

You both sit quietly for a minute or two and just let the sun shine down on you.

“John’s always been sensitive” Hosea finally says, “It’s somethin’ Dutchs’ tried ta shake outta him over the years. He basically caused this…rivalry, between him and Arthur hoping it’d toughen him up.”

“Well, the man survived gunshots and a wolf attack. I’d say he’s pretty damn tough and I doubt very much that’s from years of being pitted against Arthur.” You say bitterly as your nostrils flare. You completely miss the smirk Hosea gives you. “So unless Abigail decides to be…forthcoming…with the truth…that’s that?” you ask, fully knowing the answer.

After a quiet pause Hosea says gently, “I know this world may be confusing fer you. If you ask me, you ‘nd your mother are better off out of it…not sayin’ you should just up and leave, but…I just think once you’re on yer feet…it may be worth thinkin’ long and hard about how you want your life to look.”

“And isn’t that the million-dollar question.” You say under your breath, but Hosea had still caught it and looks at you quizzically. “Sorry” you say laughing a little, “it’s something my pa used to say. When I asked for advice or his opinion…he used to say ‘now isn’t that the million-dollar question’.” You smile at the memory but find yourself falling into a pit of sadness. But before melancholy can completely set in, Hosea breaks the silence.

“Now, I think I’ve been good and honest with you Miss Adler. Will you be honest with me?” Hosea asks, turning fully to look at you. You shrink under his intense gaze but nod anyway. “What is it about our Mr Marston that has you so…curious…as you put it?”

You know what Hosea is asking. He’s trying to suss out if you have romantic feelings or intentions towards John. Problem is, you don’t really know yourself. So instead of lying you decide to be completely truthful, part of you sensing that he’d know if you lied. So why try?

“Honestly Hosea…I don’t know.” You say before running your hands through your hair, getting it out of your face so you can look him in the eye better, “He was sweet to me. Kind. And, I think I want to repay that you know? Be a friend maybe…” You trail off and shrug, knowing it isn’t a concrete answer. It does however seem to satisfy Hosea who claps his hands onto his knees and pushes himself up.

“Alright then. Good enough.” He says holding out a hand to you. You take it and he helps you up from the log, “You know, my Bessie would’ve liked you. You have’a kind soul…but I also see the fire she used’ta have herself.”

“In that case I’ll take it as a wonderful compliment Mr Matthews.” You say making your way back to the wagon. “You know, I’d like to know more about her…if you ever feel like sharing.”

Ever the gentleman, Hosea helps you up onto the wagon and you smooth out your dress before sitting. You’re really looking forward to getting back into some jeans. After Hosea settles next to you, he quietly says, “I think I’ve had my fill of memories today Miss. But at another time, that’d be lovely.”

He gives you another soft smile before starting the horses back towards camp.

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chimswae · 4 years ago

Text

BTS Caretaker CH8

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 2,008

- Author Note: Finally update on time! i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)

Previous | Next

Chapter 8

“Why are you in rush?” the older guy blinks confusedly at the sight before him. Seul was struggling with her aprons as a frustrated sigh escaped her mouth “I have another work to catch on” untangling the dangling knots around her, Wongeun shook his head in amusement.

He took a few steps closer to Seul, grabbing her shoulders while leaning down to her level “Let me help you with that” Seul froze at the close proximity. A wisp of Wongeun scent reminded her of the supposed-to-be-forgotten-Min-Yoongi, and it was horrible to have him in her mind again.

“Don’t overwork yourself Seul-ah. You are still young” his fingers were fidgeting with the knots around her waist. He carefully untangled it as he smiles bashfully. God, Seul really hated this kind of gesture by a guy like Wongeun. It is troublesome for her heart.

Seul felt a heavy lump on her throat, as she forced out the words coming out from her mouth without sounding like she’s screeching. “Thank you oppa for your concern but I will be fine. I am doing this for my mother after all” she was grateful of the attention that he showed her. Sometimes her colleagues mistaken his kind gesture as a flirt when she tried to push that thoughts far away from her. Just because it was ethically wrong to have a feeling for her employer.

He removed the pink apron gracefully and took few steps back with a soft smile that could melt many hearts “I know you are a good daughter but don’t forget people around you. They care for you. I am sure your mother doesn��t want to see you like this either” Wongeun tucked strand of hair behind her ears.

“Alright alright, what is with this super serious talk. That doesn’t fit you” she chortled, jabbing his arm playfully.

“I am being serious. Okay, I am still worried that your workplace has no female but bunch of hormonal teenagers” his brow flinched together with a hint of concern.

Seul snorted “They are young adults. It is totally different from teenagers. Man, this is so unnecessary. I got to go, I don’t want to bump into any of those babytans” she slipped her phone inside her sling bag, taking all her stuffs in the locker.

“You even have a nickname for them” he pointed out shooting a sly smile.

“WHAT?!” Seul flustered causing her cheeks to reddened turning her into a ripe tomato. She just disliked the mention of their names being associated with her, god knows how she hated herself for letting this thing affect her brain.

“See you tomorrow” she scurried off putting a stop to Wongeun teasing. What a trickster.

------------------

Jimin rolled off from his bed and went straight to the bathroom. He was taking a short nap and like a flash all the members disappeared in thin air. Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon went to the company few hours ago like they usually did whilst Jimin chose to stay at home since he already spent 18 hours in the studio yesterday.

Taehyung was not at home either since afternoon, as soon as their Busan’s schedule got cancelled earlier this morning, he went to watch his friend’s musical show. He offered to take Jimin along, but he was dead tired to even get off from his comfortable bed. Taking a nap supposed to help rejuvenating his body and mind a little until he noticed no one was at home but him.

He took a quick shower before coming out shirtless feeling refresh and alive. Not long after, his ears caught the sound of the door being opened, it made him skipped a little in his stance “They are here already? THAT WAS FAST!” he grabbed random shirts from his closet.

“ugh they wont leave me alone right?” Jimin turned into a real klutz as he grabbed his phone and wallet before making his way outside his room. “You said eight minutes” said Jimin who had been busy forcing himself into the grey shirt.

Seul’s eyes widened at the sight in front of her. It made her mind fuzzy, blood rushing in her system and to her astonishment the figure in front of her got Seul losing her ability to talk. To be frank, her knees weakened, and she was screaming mentality.

Jimin noticed the heavy atmosphere making him uneasy for no reason and with that he quickly slipped the shirt over his head. “OH SHIT” his eyes shot opened. He gasped in sheer horror scanning Seul from head to toes.

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU” he breathed deeply, taking a step back. Seul could see him blushing deeply mainly due to the way him welcoming her with his toned body. Why must she have a weird encounter with this babytan? Crazy much.

Seul averted her eyes from meeting his shy gaze and cleared her throat in process “Why no one inform me that you will be around at this time?” she mumbled in frustration. This should not be happening since her last encounter with Yoongi was not that good either.

“ARE YOU A…SASAENG PERHAPS?” Jimin clutches onto his phone tight, staring at her way with a bewildered look. His mind was plotting something nasty and cruel, yet he didn’t know if he could execute it. Before things turned bad, he must save himself first and contacted anyone like Kim Seokjin because after all he was on his way there.

“Were you the girl that Yoongi hyung mentioned before?”

“The one who pretended to be the caretaker ahjumma? When you are not?”

“OH MY GOD. YOU ARE REAL! HYUNG WAS NOT LYING AFTER ALL” his voice croaked at the end indicating his fear and nervousness. The words coming out from his mouth was distorted but sounded cute to Seul. Even though it was not the time to mentally squeal over his cuteness, Jimin is undeniably cute indeed.

“Don’t bore me with your false assumptions. That guy has been getting it all wrong” Seul rummaged through her bag finding her mother’s staff id as a proof so it could shut this tiny guy instantly. However, as a self-defence Jimin took few steps back afraid Seul pulled out guns or blades from her bags.

Rolling her eyes, Seul flashed the card “There you go.. it is my mother’s staff id. Can you trust me now?” she pressed.

He glanced at the staff id in Seul’s hand “Are you sure that is your mother?”

“Duh, yes? People said I take after her. Can’t you see the obvious?” Seul shot him a disapproval look. Maybe, Jimin is cute but he aint anymore when he inquired her like a legit policeman.

Jimin then took the chance to scrutinize Seul’s face start from her eyebrows along her crescent moon eyes that practically shoots dagger at his way making him flustered immediately. Coughing away to ease the awkwardness, Jimin eyes land on his pink lips that purses up showing off her annoyance.

“Are you seriously creeping on me right now?” her voice brought him out from his trance when the reality finally hits him hard. Shit, what am I doing. Jimin bit his lower lips surpassing the urge to cuss out loud.

Seul grew quiet for few seconds gathering the sense of humanity in her before beating the crap out of him “I am here to work, and I don’t have time to explain to someone who refuse to believe what I am saying at first place. I am sure that hyung of yours have already told you what I said to him weeks ago. So, can you just digest it and embrace the reality that I am here to work not to stare at you” distressed Jimin had no idea how to react to this. Should he just run off and find help or should he just let her do the works and wait until Jin and Jungkook came to the rescue?

“I am beginning to be vexed with you, gosh” she stared boringly at his way.

He pressed his lips together trying to steady his breathing “That doesn’t prove anything… mmm…i.. think you are dangerous. I will just…” Jimin strutted to his room and locked the door behind him. Seul grunted under her breath, it was an unexpected meeting again. If this kept going, she would end up embarrassing herself in front of the whole population of babytans.

She felt a small smile crept up at the corner of her lips ‘Except for him. He doesn’t look that baby after all’ she blushed madly upon the image of shirtless Jimin creeping in. Considering Jimin is around, Seul decided to settle things quick and leave as soon as possible. She didn’t know who else would come in few minutes, every second is precious. On top of all, she didn’t want to meet Min Yoongi again. Worst case of scenario.

--------------

Pacing back and forth anxiously was Park Jimin. He blamed himself for turning himself into a real fool. What was he thinking? Showing off his skin in front of stranger who could possibly hurt him or even sexually harassed him? Was there any case whereby man got raped by a woman? Negativity only to bring unnecessary panic.

Think rational.

Calm down.

Inhaling a deep breath, Jimin took his phone and his fingers clumsily typed a quick message to Jin asking his whereabouts. He clearly said it was only eight minutes, but this took forever.

Releasing a sigh of relief, Jimin finally felt less helpless at the moment. He did not even dare to go beyond the door. No one knew what she could possibly plan in that brain of hers. Another thing was that she looked pretty decent to be referred as a murderer or kidnapper however anything could happen in one night.

He sunk on his bed, squeezing his eyes together ‘Why is she here. Is she real’ he raked fingers in his damp hair angrily.

--------------

Drumming his fingers against the glass table, Yoongi concentrated on mixing the tunes that came into his mind earlier with the new verse that Hoseok suggested. He had been busy producing new songs for their upcoming comeback and this was just beginning. Out of all time that he had in this world, he loved those days when he could spend all day in his studio making music, getting new inspirations and let the idea flow beautifully.

Staring blankly at the cold ceiling, his mind drifted off to the kisses that he had with Seul few weeks ago. His brows clenched together, protesting the dull ache that was beginning to grow in his temple “Screw that woman” he scowled.

The beep coming from his phone diverted his attention from thinking of Seul again, thankfully. A message from Jimin was unusual unless it was really important.

He arose from his seat, shutting down all the equipment. His determination to catch Seul again today doubled “I will make sure to catch you this time” he grinded his teeth together. As he was about to exit his room, he bumped into clueless Hoseok right in front of his studio “Are you heading back already?” the younger guy blinked at his hyung unusual behaviour.

Min PD won’t be back home not until he was summoned by Jin. When this happened, it simply means Jin was annoyed of Yoongi overwork himself to the extent of neglecting his meals and rest.

“I will be back later.. I have something important to do” said Yoongi flatly avoiding Hoseok judgemental round eyes.

“And? Why you look irritated? Did something bothering you” Hoseok used his luck to pry answers from him.

“Later. Tell Namjoon, the song demo is on his desk” giving Hoseok a light pat on the back, he brushed pass him without looking back. This was it, he had no time to waste or else he would be losing her again. It was already hard to predict her shift every day, he was not planning to waste the chances.

Hoseok watched his small figure disappeared “Is hyung dating someone? Not that I remember”

#bts fic #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts idolau #yoongi x oc #min yoongi x reader #jeon jungkook x oc #bts fluff #yoongi fluff #yoongi romance #jin x oc #namjoon x oc #jimin x oc #kim seokjin x oc #hoseok x oc #taehyung x oc #bts romance #bts series #btscaretaker

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call-me-amissa · 5 years ago

Text

The train that rides through nowhere

It was pitch dark outside. The only proof i had that we were still moving, heading somewhere, was the sounds of the train and small bumps in the tracks. It used to be funny, interesting, the thought of riding through the darkest sides of the underworld, through lost forests and wandering souls.

It is terrifiying.

No ghostly hand touched the cracked glass of the windows, but the chilly wind coming though the invisible cracks was nothing short of it.

I found myself wishing for the lights of a city in the distance, but I knew they'd never come. Not as long as we were here.

And there was no getting out of here until we solved this.

The dark void outside was almost as silent as the inside. No one was uttering a word and all the phones seemed to have died. The only thing that I could hear were the sounds of the train and my own swallowing as we all stared at each other.

There is a beast among us. That's what the note had said, what all the screens on phones and laptops all of us had been holding had shown before they all just died off.

I couldn't help but wonder what kind of beast this was about. If it was even true. A part of me wanted to believe it was some sick prank someone was playing on us, but I somehow knew it was true. There was no getting to any station - or any type of light aside from the artificial white light bulbs in the old train.

Was the beast in here, or out there? Was it causing this, or merely a victim, as the rest of us?

But most importantly, what kind of beast was it?

Suddenly, someone broke the silence. It was a scawny teenage boy, just a couple of years younger than me by the looks of him, with his headphones around his neck and one dark earing in his left ear. "So what, we're all gonna look at each other until this ^beast^ gets to us?" He didn't sound scared, but it was obvious that he was. I think we all were.

The beast might have been too.

"This has got to be a joke." Said the woman two seats away from him. She sounded convinced. "Why are you looking at me like that? The train's going to reach a station sooner or later "

I didn't agree with her, at all, but I shut up.

"No, it's not." Answered the old man on the seat next to mine. I looked at him a little bit closer. It must have been a trick my eyes were playing, prompted by the whole situation, but he looked on the brink of death. His skin was almost as white as his unkept beard and hair, his eyes proeminently red. I stopped looking at him.

No one dared say a word after the old man. It had sounded too much like an omen, a threat, to add anything else.

There was six of us in the wagon. The emo teenage boy, the woman in the business suit and the old man, all who had spoken. And three of us who had prefered to keep our fears and dreads for ourselves - me, a man probably in his thirties who looked like he was pretending none of this was happening, fidgeting with his irresponsive phone, and a little girl on the seat next to him, who must have been his daughter. She looked like the cutest thing on earth, just like all little girls do before their bones grow all twisted. I envied her a little bit, but I envy all kids. I'm not much older than any of them, but to them it must look like the whole world. I know it did to me.

Maybe she was the so called beast, a scary monster in a pretty package, ready to tear us all to shreds.

Or maybe it was someone else.

Maybe it was her father, hiding behind the mask of confusion, waiting for the moment to strike. Using the mask of a caring father now taking the little girl on his lap to convince us we weren't in danger, like any prey animal.

I couldn't help but imagine that whatever I was doing, annalizing them one by one, must have been what they were doing too. I wondered what they thought about me. There wasn't much to see, besides a plain face and clothes i'd put on in a hurry. My bag was bulky, filled with changes of clothes I thought I'd need. I won't need them, if we were never getting out of here. I had black combat boots on, which I used to think made me look bad ass, but in the face of whatever this was, i just felt small. Inconsequential. Why was I in this wagon?

Why were any of us here?

When I looked at her, the woman in the business suit already had her sight set on me. Her eyes were thin slits, like she didn't like was she was seeing. What was she seeing? Had she done something horrible to be here?

Had they all?

I may have, but that didn't make any of us beasts, right?

There must be a true threat here, not just other people, minding their own business, going about their day, trying to travel somehwere.

Getting stuck inside this black void that seems to never end.

Looking out the mirror was pointless, all there was to see was pitch black and the cracks in the glass. Sometimes, if the train hit a bump in the road, the light from one of the bulbs would reflect in a crack, and it would seem like there was something there.

There was nothing.

Just the six of us.

The old man next to me was starting to downright creep me out, but i was too paralyzed with fear to move to another seat. What if when I moved, something - someone - would strike. I wouldn't risk it. I didn't move one finger, but I set my eyes on the emo boy's boots. It struck me how similar to mine they were, down to the metalic studs along the sides of the sole. I found myself wondering if we had anything else in common.

Maybe I had something else in common with everyone in this wagon. Maybe that's why we were stuck here. Maybe if we figured it out, we could reach a station.

Or maybe i was just grasping for straws and we were all going to starve in a train wagon heading nowhere.

Suddenly, the boy got up. "If ya'll aren't going to try anything, I will" he announced, heading to the wagon door. I didn't dare move to see if he managed to jog it open, not with the old man next to me, not when I was starting to fear even touching him.

"The door can't be locked" said the woman, who had turned around from her seat and now was standing up to walk to him. To help him wedge the door open.

I didn't know why i hadn't thought of that. Maybe it was because I just imagined it wouldn't work and dismissed it?

Maybe the way out of here wasn't physical.

I pushed that thought right out of my head as soon as I had it. The only nonphysical way of getting out of anywhere was death, and that option didn't sit well with me. Not when it seemed like it was sitting right next to me.

The little girl started to stir, asking her dad how long was this trip going to take and I sourly remembered my own parents giving me the same answer as him on long car trips, "Just a little bit more, honey."

His voice didn't sound threatening. It sounded fatherly and soothing and suddenly I couldn't imagine why I'd even considered him to be the beast. The little girl was leaning on him now, almost asleep on his lap. She couldn't be a threat either. As scary as horror movies made children, there was nothing more to them than fiction.

But didn't this whole situation look like fiction?

The boy and the woman were still trying, in vain, to open the door. I wondered what they thought they'd do if it did open. It's not like we could just walk out into the void, wandering around in the darkness and hoping we'd find our way home somehow. Even the blind need directions, if not maps, and we didn't even have Hansel and Gretel's breadcrumbs. Not like we would have seen them if we did.

I had no idea how long we'd been riding this train, but one moment, it felt like it had been forever. The next? A blink of an eye. The next? Like this would never end. The next? Like it had already.

And it kept on going.

It would have kept on going, I guess, I hope not though, because that's truly terrifying, if I didn't start feeling sorry. It hadn't been a feeling, really, just a flying thought that escaped me as soon as I caught it.

I just have a feeling that that's when the silver of a new moon had shown up in the sky. For a moment, i hadn't even realised it was not supposed to be there. That it hadn't been there mere moments ago. Now it looked like it always had, and always will.

I didn't want to open my mouth to announce it, for fear it might disappear the second I said the words out loud, so I just kept looking at it.

There was nothing else out there, except the small silver of the moon, looking like freshly cut thin piece of nail. If the moon was there, the sun must be too, right? The rest of the world too. That's how everything worked, after all: sun, moon, earth, the rest of the universe. And very small, inside all of it, us.

Was this the universe messing with us?

It felt like hours had passed, or maybe minutes, and still there was no sign of a beast.

Maybe we were all already dead. Maybe we had seen the message too late, and it had killed us, and this was the railroad to the actual Underworld.

But then why was the moon here?

I remembered i had been thinking of something when it showed up, but that thought had flown away long ago.

Why was I even on this train? Where had I been going?

Was I running towards something? From something?

The boy and the woman finally gave up on the door and came back to their seats, and it hit me.

I was running. Away. Far. Why? I couldn't remember as I looked at the two of them, both beat and hopeless. Were they running too?

I looked back at the little girl next, sleeping on top of her father. His stare was right ahead, not meeting any of ours'. My eyes were drawn back to the emo boy when he stomped one of his feet clad in almost the same boots as me. He sounded and looked downright panicked. It struck me that i was very calm as he spoke, "We can't be stuck here. My brother and sister are waiting for me at the end of the line. We can't be stuck here!" He almost yelled, but the woman in the suit placed a calming hand on his shoulder and he shut up.

He had a brother and a sister.

It baffled me how I had forgotten that. I had a brother too. I had been living with him, and then I left. I looked out then window, trying to remember more. What I saw, around the moon that now looked a little bit more real, were stars. Actual stars that lit the night sky. Not much, not enough to make sense of whatever was around us, but it was something.

Impulsively, I pointed towards the glass, to the stars and the moon, "Do you see that?"

I looked at every each one of my travel companions and was met only with confusion. "See what? There's been nothing out there since forever" said the man holding his sleeping daughter.

"The moon and the stars have always been there," answered the boy. "Everything else, though, not so much."

I shut up, figuring there was something more here than any of us could understand. Were we the only ones seeing those things? Maybe it was because we were starting to remember. Did anyone else remember anything? I didn't want to ask, so I shut up. I tried to remember more.

I had been mad. We had both been mad. What was it about? A lot of things, from dropping the other's toothbrush to the floor by mistake, to nor trusting one another's advice anymore.

There was a lot there, with a deep rooth. And we'd never talked about it.

This morning, I'd decided I'd just go. Living with my brother had been a bad idea to begin with. I would go back to our parents', find something else to do.

I got on the train just as the sun was going down, and sat among these same people that were around me now.

I was looking at my nails while thinking about this, figuring out more, and something outside caught the corner of my eye. It was a light. A streetlight, followed by many more, bordeing a road meant for cars that was following the train tracks.

Suddenly, outside wasn't so dark anymore and somehow, that made me decided that if i ever got off this train, I'd go back.

I'd apologise. What kind of sense was it making, to stay mad at him when I was still heading into nowhere, even with the road running parallel to the tracks now. I closed my eyes, trying to imagine his face when he'd see me at the door, when only a few hours ago - maybe days? Months? Years? - I'd left and told him exactly what I thought about him.

Smug. He would be extremely smug. And maybe a little concerned about my mental wellbeing, as I wasn't one to apologise easily and oftenly.

When i opened them, I was sitting in an empty train wagon that looked exactly the same as before, only there was light outside. The sun was somewhere above the train, as i couldn't see it through any of the windows, but it was out there, basking the green fields and country houses we passed in its light and warmth.

A moment later, a trai station came into view. I didn't even think before grabbing my bag and running outside. As far as I could observe, the train had been wholly empty.

I caught the next ride back home.

To this day, I don't know what happened to the other people who were in that wagon with me, or if they had even been real.

Maybe I'd fallen asleep.

I hope I fell asleep. I want to have dreamt all of that, but I have a feeling that is entirely not the case.

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hereisisa · 5 years ago

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I can see Elsa remains beautiful and youthful in years to come: she found peace, she lets go of her fears and the responsibilities of taking care of a kingdom, there is nothing to be worry anymore. Anna, on the other hand, have to work all day for said kingdom on her own (without Elsa's wisdom to help her because Elsa is free, woohoo) and maybe with a child coming soon. With all that stress I can tell she will get the first wrinkle before she is 25 and soon will look like Elsa's older sister.

Nooo my friend, don’t be so mean with Anna, poor girl!

I realize that I am sometimes mean with Anna, but only when I read nonsense as “Anna’s gonna be a better queen based on my headcanons” and that makes me want to defend Elsa, but otherwise….I adore Anna!

You have a point tho when you said the Queen’s life may be not so easy for a free spirit as Anna….and while she’ll be perfectly able to take decisions, I’m also sure this wouldn’t be her choice, if she could have one. In this case she’s a victim of destiny. And I want to blame destiny, not Elsa, because we’ve been told we can’t excape DESTINY, and this is what Elsa follows.

That said….It hardly matter cause we’ll never know.

Elsa and Anna are the franchising, so if they’ll ever do more books or movies (pretty sure Jenn is done with it but maybe this is a GOOD THING!) they’re not gonna be about Anna’s married life. LOL For many reasons.

1) the audience prefers Elsa. So imagine a reunion at Disney where people are discussing about what to do in terms of a “next step” and tell me they wouldn’t focus it on Elsa, but on the second choice!Something like “should we do something about Elsa’s (money maker) adventures in the wild, or….Anna (who is less loved) + Kristoff (who tracks really bad)”? LOLEasy decision.

2) Elsa’s story has more potential: she’s in a new world, with hundreds of possibilities for new adventures. Again if you want to see Anna as Queen, read point 1 again.

3) If they decide to go for what really SELLS, they would write about Elsa and Anna together, with a reunion, or Anna needing her sister for something and yeah, that I can see it.I can see them reuniting them for adventures, or I can see them focusing books on Elsa, and I don’t see then writing endless tales of Anna’s married life.

And the ones who say “they had stories about Simba’s kids”…jesus he’s a lion! When a kid watches Simba’s kids (can’t recall the names) adventures, they don’t think about the mom, Nala, who had little babies, they think “oh so cute I want my dog to have puppies too!”

You can’t parallel animals to princesses beause little kids don’t dress as Nala to play, they don’t pretend to give birth to puppies, but they will always dress up as princesses and a pregnant princess isin’t relatable for a 6 yr old.I do realize that Kristoff is similar to Pumbaa in terms of being unwashed and smelly, but you can’t really parallel Frozen and The Lion King!

And that second movie from the Ariel franchise where we see her daughter….check google and see how BAD it tracked. It was a failure in terms of critics. And tell me, have you ever seen merchandising for that poor girl in stores? Are they doing a LIVE ACTION of Ariel or Ariel’s daughter? Have you ever seen kids dressed as Ariel’s daughter? A musical about Ariel’s daughter?

No, because it was awful and tracked horribly and more of that would have hurt the franchising.

So whatever they’ll do next could be:1) NOTHING cause the franchising without Elsa and Anna together is DEAD2) something focused on the moneymaker3) Reuniting Elsa and Anna somehow. But in this case they have to explain why Elsa who didn’t go to the coronation can suddently go back to Arendelle for little new adventures. Mind you, it could also be for something that sounds so Disney as an eventual wedding short, but once again it will be like Frozen and Frozen 2, focused on the sisters. Remember OUAT, when we hear Anna’s getting married and we don’t even see it cause the movie is ABOUT THE SISTERS? Yeah, that. And honestly if they kill that awful “Destiny message” and brings Elsa back home, I wouldn’t give a damn about it.

Sorry, you just probably wanted to rant about Elsa and Anna’s new roles and I made it into a bigger thing. I’m sorry!

#frozen 2 #frozen 2 spoilers #spoilers #notmyfrozen #elsa #queen elsa #notmyelsa #anna #speculation #anti-kristanna #anti-kristoff

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writingpaperghost · 5 years ago

Text

Like Father, Like Daughter (part 2)

So this part took a plot really similar to an early episode of Ultraman X. This was not intentional, initially, but I went with it. In other news, I think I’m going to get an AO3 account to also upload things here to. Anyway, there are several parts of this that I really enjoyed writing. Though I would like someone to bounce ideas off of, and to help me come up with ideas. So if you’d like, message me or something.

Day two, technically, of having Zero in her head, and Mayu is finding that her entire life is going to change from here. She just hopes she can keep her parents from worrying.

Mayu met Noa at the park, the next day. Noa wasn’t familiar with Riku, not that Mayu could claim to know him very well either. He was a big fan of some old tokusatsu show, he was friends with those two insurance agents that her dad sometimes talked to. He was also friends with the woman who she vaguely remembered from when she was a child, when she found herself with the strange ability to end up some where she wanted to be quicker than walking. The woman who she thought she could recall having a sword at some point. Which you think would be something that would stand out to her more, but she was like, six, so could you really blame her for not really remembering.

Regardless, though neither of them knew Riku very well, she supposed with Zero that shouldn’t matter. Though Mayu really hoped no one asked her about whether her parents knew about Zero. She was pretty sure that since Riku was an adult, he’d probably tell her that she needs to tell them. That sounds like something a responsible adult would do. Which, he’d be right, much like Zero, she knows that. She just… doesn’t want to worry her parents. Worse though, Riku could try to tell her dad. Then there would probably be an issue.

“So,” Noa said, “Where do we find this Riku that Zero’s looking for?”

Mayu thought for a moment, about to respond when she was cut off by Zero. “Do you know if he still works at Galaxy Market?” She thought again, but in all honesty, Mayu hadn’t seen Riku in a while. Not to mention that where he worked wouldn’t even be something she’d pay attention to.

“I’m not sure,” Mayu responded, answering both Noa and Zero’s questions. She figured that Galaxy Market would at least be a good place to start. Even if he wasn’t there, there would be no harm in checking. Of course, if he wasn’t there, then they would have no clues where to go after that.

A few minutes later, they stood in front of a storefront, a sign above declaring it’s name. “Galaxy Market”, Noa read aloud. “Well, we’re here, I guess. Let’s um, let’s pretend we’re actually gonna buy something. Just in case he’s not here, you know?”

“Agreed,” Mayu said, taking a deep breath and steeling herself before opening the door, entering the shop. The manager at the counter greeted them as they looked around. Noa and her split, both looking around at the shelves, though Mayu’s eyes also looked for Riku. She didn’t remember exactly what he looked like, but she figured that once she saw him, she’d know it. At the very least, Zero might remember what he looked like.

They spent a good twenty minutes waiting and looking. The two meet up in the middle of one of the isles, sighing in defeat. “Not a sign,” Mayu said quietly, noting Noa’s nod.

“I mean, I don’t know what he looks like, but there’s only the manager here.” Noa says, sparing another glance around.

“I guess it’s another dead end,” Mayu sighs as the two exit the building. “Now what?”

“I’m sure we’ll see him next time a monster attacks. He always wants to help people, after all.” Zero comments. Mayu freezes in her spot.

“I’m sorry, ‘the next time a monster attacks’?” She takes a moment to think about what he said, before adding, “You mean more will show up?”

“Monsters?” Noa asks, “More monsters?”

“It’s very likely,” Zero responds, “That’s part of why I’m here.”

Right, Mayu had forgotten about that. About the whole reason that Zero was here. She… was not prepared for this. All she could do is quietly hope that Zero could heal and this whole thing could be resolved quickly, hopefully before another monster attacked. “Yeah, right, guess I forgot about that.”

“Monsters,” Noa says, “Are a very hard things to forget about, especially big ones. Maybe if they were like, small monsters, I could get that, but big ones? Hard to forget.”

Mayu raises her hands in defense, “Yesterday was a bit crazy, okay? Today’s a bit crazy too.”

“That’s fair,” Noa grins, “But that does lead us to our next problem.”

“What to do next.” Mayu finishes. Noa nods, eyes looking around as they walk to a nearby park, sitting on a bench there. Galaxy Market was the only place that Mayu knew they might have been able to find Riku. Having not found him there, Mayu had no clue where to search next.

She supposed she could try asking her dad, but then he might want to know why she was looking for Riku. So that wasn’t really an option. She didn’t want explain Zero, and more importantly, she knew her dad would be so worried, something he didn’t need. She’d hold off, tell him when the time was right. Which wasn’t right now.

Who else did her dad know? Maybe one of them might know Riku? Not any of his coworkers, that much was obvious. It felt like everyone who might know she barely knew, so she would have no way of finding them and asking… Wait.

“Zero, do you have any ideas where Riku might be?”

There was silence for a moment, then Zero spoke, “Before, he lived under the observatory, there was an old lab of sorts there that he and Pega moved into. He might still be there,” Judging by the tone of his voice, Zero clearly forgot about that detail. That or he truly thought Riku had moved out. Either way it couldn’t hurt to look…

“Who’s Pega?”

“Riku’s shadow.”

Shadow? What did that mean? Mayu tried to ask, but Zero didn’t seem to want to elaborate. Well, at least they had a lead, no matter how shaky it was.

“Zero says he lived under the observatory when Zero last visited, so it’s worth a shot to check there.”

Noa stood up, straightening her skirt, “Alright then, to the observatory!” She points and marches off in the direction they had to head to get to the observatory. Never mind that the observatory wasn’t exactly close by and it would probably take them a while to get there.

They’d made it about four blocks, not even close to their destination, when Noa got distracted by something she saw in an alley way. Mayu follows her, noting how Noa is trying to reach something hiding behind a trash bin. A few minutes and a few grunts later, Noa produces a small, strange creature, cradling it in her arms.

Mayu had been expecting a cat or something. Maybe a puppy or a rat. Something normal, that you’d find in a city. Not… whatever it was that Noa held. It was red, resembling a bird of some kind. From the side of its beak were two sacs, that resembled a turkey, in a way. Honestly, if it weren’t so strange and real, then Mayu might have called it cute.

That, and the panicked curse Zero let out when he saw it.

Zero took control, yanking Mayu’s glasses off and shoving them in their pocket. It takes all of Mayu’s ability to restrain him from knocking the baby bird out of Noa’s arms.

“What’s wrong?” Noa asked, concerned. The bird in her arms chirped, drawing her attention back to it.

“That!” Zero hissed, “That’s what’s wrong!”

“Zero,” Mayu said, as calmly as she could, given all the effort she was exerting to keep Zero from freaking out and doing something. As a result, her voice sounded strained. “That’s a baby bird. A weird looking one, yes, but it’s not going to kill anyone.”

“Baby or not,” Came Zero’s protest, “It is a horrible thing and-”

Zero wasn’t allowed to finish his sentence, as a voice from behind them, from the entrance of the alley way called, “Excuse me!” Mayu wrenches control, reaching for her glasses as she turned around. Placing her glasses back where they belonged, Mayu examined the woman. She wore business attire and had long black hair. Overall, there was nothing particularly remarkable about her, but for some reason Mayu found she seemed familiar.

The woman walks up to them, “I’m Moa Aizaki, I work for Nico Nico Life Insurance-”

Noa hides the bird chick behind her back, cutting off the woman, “Sorry, but we don’t need life insurance. Why would you even approach people in an ally anyway? That’s weird.” From the entrance, a man comes along, walking to stand beside Moa. Mayu noted that the entrance, and only way out of the alley, was now blocked. Then Mayu noticed the man. He had black hair, wore a suit, but the most obvious thing about him, was how his neutral his face was. It was blank, not showing a hint of emotion. It was… unnerving. But beyond that, Mayu felt she recognized this man too…

“Ah!” Moa cried, “But we’d just like to look at that little bird you have there.”

Noa bit back, “Why? You’re an insurance agent. I bet your friend there is too.” Noa was, by most standards, a rather mild person. She got excited about things, sure, most people did. But there were times, like this one, where her mildness fell away to someone a lot more stubborn and determined. If Mayu hadn’t known Noa for the time she has and has seen Noa do this before, she might be startled. She’d certainly been the first time.

Zero let some nudge or stray thought of some kind flow to her, and that’s when Mayu realized something. She had seen these two before. A few times, actually. These were the insurance agents that her dad knew. And since it seemed like Zero recognized them, something told her that they weren’t just insurance agents.

“You two,” Mayu blurts right as Moa opened her mouth to respond, “You’re those insurance agents that my dad knows.”

“Huh?” Moa leans forward, examining Mayu. It’s silent for a moment, before she speaks again, “Oh, Mayu! Is this a friend of yours?”

“Your dad knows these two?” Noa blurts, jostling the bird behind her back, who lets out an indignant squawk. “Just how many weird people does he know? He’s a salary man!”

“What do you mean?” Moa asks, unconvincingly, “Zena and I are totally normal.”

No one present believed that statement.

“First yesterday,” Noa groans, “Now a possible wild goose chase today, alongside these two, who are very clearly not insurance agents. What’s next, another monster?”

It’s quiet for a moment before Mayu adds, “She’s got a point, you know. You two are very clearly not insurance agents. Is that why you want the bird, which is clearly not an ordinary bird?”

“Yes,” The man responded, the first words he’d said the whole time. Except, he didn’t speak. They heard a voice, but his lips didn’t move.

Noa, seemingly unfazed by the strangeness of Zena, persisted, “It’s just a baby, that’s not a very good reason.”

Zero reached up, removing Mayu’s glasses as Moa watched curiously. Mayu noted a glimmer of recognition in her eyes, like she’d seen something like this before. Maybe she had, she might have known Mayu’s dad when Zero was around.

“Noa, that baby bird,” The words came out somewhat strained, only causing Moa to watch even more curiously, “Is a baby Birdon. Birdon chicks, grow into very dangerous adult Birdons.”

“Birdon?” Noa asked, while Moa had an amazed look on her face, Zena watching as impassively as before.

“A giant monster,” Zero clarified, “A very aggressive, and as I said before, dangerous, giant monster.”

Noa bit her lip, her resolve clearly wavering. She glanced down to the little bird in his arms, which chirped cheerfully. She examined it for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. While Noa thought, Moa turned to look at Zero.

“Mayu, how did you know about Birdon? And why did you take your glasses off?” Moa’s eyes examined Zero, looking for an answer. Mayu contemplated trying to wretch control from Zero, but she ultimately decided it was pointless. She wouldn’t have a way to explain why she - or rather Zero- knew about Birdon. Mayu hadn’t even heard that name until today. In all likelihood, Moa already knew the answer to her question anyway.

Zero, sensing that Mayu was letting him remain in control, handled the explanation. Mayu figured now these two, whoever they really were, because there was no way they were insurance agents, no way, would find out about Zero. Of course, given they knew her dad… Maybe they knew Zero when he was with her dad.

“Come on, you two. Has it really been so long you don’t remember me?” Zero smirks, to which he is met with a confused look from Moa, and a continue of Zena’s ever impassive deadpan. Did that man even know how to emote?

“I don’t think they’re recognizing who you are, Zero.” Mayu comments. Off to the side, she notices, Noa has an unusual look on her face. A mix of concern and just the slightest bit of fear. She’s regarding the baby Birdon in a worried way.

“If this is a baby,” Noa says, catching everyone’s attention, “Then does that mean it’s parent or parents is somewhere nearby?”

Moa had a look on her face that told Mayu she hadn’t considered that. Judging by the sound Zero made, he also hadn’t considered that. Noa had a point, if this was the baby, then did that mean that there was an adult version nearby? If so, what would they do? If an adult Birdon was normally aggressive, it was terrifying to imagine what an adult Birdon looking for it’s child would be like.

They soon got their answer in the form of a loud, near ear bleeding squawk, the sort of thing that Mayu thought she’d only hear when watching a monster movie. Something in Mayu’s heart sunk, as she could easily figure out what was going on. That was the adult Birdon, most likely looking for the baby.

“What was that?” Noa asked, panic lacing her voice as she squeezed the baby Birdon a little tighter. The baby seemed to coo, whether in response to Noa squeezing it or to it’s probably parent was unclear. Mayu shoves her glasses back onto her face, as Zero let her have control once more. It seemed he noticed her epiphany too.

“That,” Mayu responds, trying to keep her voice as even and as calm as possible, “Is the parent.”

Moa pulls the baby from Noa’s arms, “You two need to get to safety,” she said, “Zena and I will deal with the baby.” Moa turned around, beginning to leave as Zena followed in suit.

Noa took a second to process what had happened, before yelling, “I thought you two were ordinary insurance agents?” There was a smug tone to her voice as their suspicions about the two were all but confirmed.

“Don’t worry about it, just get out of here!” Soon the two disappeared, having ran off. Mayu supposed with those two having the baby, her and Noa wouldn’t be in immediate trouble, but… something didn’t seem right. Overhead, a giant version of the bird flew, covering the sky and plunging the area they were in into darkness. Not too far away, it lands, causing the ground to shake and screams to ring out.

Zero pulls her glasses from her face, turning to Noa. “You need to get to safety.”

“What?” Noa yells, “What are you going to do?”

Zero shoots her a confident, if not slightly cheeky, grin, “I’m Ultraman Zero,” He says, “I’m going to do what I do best.”

“Which is…?” Mayu hesitantly asked, despite the fact that she was pretty sure she knew what the answer was. Though she supposed she knew that it’d was bound to happen eventually. That didn’t change the great apprehension she was feeling.

“What is it you do best, exactly?” Noa asked, echoing Mayu’s thought.

“I’ll show you,” With that said, Zero pulls out a strange device of sorts. It resembled a mask, or glasses, something like that, with a button on one of the top corners. Truthfully, Mayu thought it resembled the area around Zero’s eyes, though it was hard to tell since the one time she’d seen him recently was from a very low angle.

“What- what is that?”

“This is the Ultra Zero Eye Neo,” Zero responds, holding the mask thing, the Ultra Zero Eye Neo, up to their face.

“Uh, what does it do?” Honestly, Mayu wasn’t entirely sure she even wanted to know the answer to that.

“You’ll see,” There’s a disturbing sort of glee in his voice.

“What are you two doing?” Noa asked, clearly worried. All Mayu knew was that she probably wasn’t going to have a good time with this.

Zero clicks the button on the Zero Eye. What followed is what Mayu found she could only describe as something akin to a magical girl transformation. In that moment, it felt as though Zero and her stood in a sort of nebulous void. Energy seemed to flow from the Zero Eye, wrapping around them as the world as Mayu knew it blurred.

Then, she was viewing the world from up high, tall above most, if not all of the buildings. Zero was still in control, but something didn’t feel right, other than being so high up. It was then she realized, this wasn’t her body, it was Zero’s. Her and Zero felt like one and the same, but also different.

Zero stands with confidence, declaring to the city, “I am Zero,” Mayu struggled to fully comprehend just what was going on. Hadn’t Zero said something about needing her to be big, since he was hurt. Frankly, she was surprised that he could fight at all… “Ultraman -Ack!” She took that back. Zero falls to a knee, his hand resting on his other leg.

“Are you okay?” Mayu tries to clear the panic from her voice, but she was honestly very concerned. Zero had said he was hurt, clearly he hadn’t fully recovered from the day before. Not surprising, but still. If he was going to fight this monster, it might be hard…

“Ah,” Zero grunts, “I’ll be fine. I’ll just have to work through the pain.”

“Right…” Mayu didn’t think that was a very good way to go about things, but she supposed if it worked for him…

Birdon lets out a squawk, furious and worried. Clearly, they just wanted their child, but at the same time, they posed a threat to everyone in this part of the city, if not more. From their side, on a rooftop, Moa calls out to them.

“Zero!”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got this!” Zero yells, while Mayu tries to put the puzzle pieces together. Zero most certainly knew Moa and Zena, but from when and how? Was it through her dad? Or was her dad knowing them a byproduct of Zero? So many questions, but she supposed now wasn’t really the time for them.

Mayu’s brought out of her thoughts by Birdon delivering a swift punch - or as much of a punch as a winged bird could - to Zero, and by proxy her, stomach. Mayu was not expecting pain. So apparently, when they’re like this, at least, she can feel the same pain Zero feels, as long as it’s pain inflicted when she was hosting him. That would explain why she didn’t feel pain from his injury from yesterday, but felt that punch.

“I thought this was what you did best?” Mayu retorts, slight irritation in her voice. No matter what, she didn’t sign up for this.

“It is.” Zero insists, though Mayu wonders how true that statement it, “I just have the injury from yesterday dragging me down a bit. That and when I said Birdon’s dangerous, I meant it.”

“Fun,” Mayu finds herself bitterly thinking. Today is turning out to be quite the day. Birdon swings at Zero, who dives out of the way, rolling and bringing himself back to his feet. Zero reaches up to the top of his head, where he pulls the two blade like things off.

“You have daggers on your head?” Mayu dryly asked. Jeez, how anime was this guy going to get. An almost magical girl transformation and head daggers?

“They’re my Zero Sluggers,” He responds, not very entertained by Mayu’s commentary.

If she could shrug, she would have. Instead, she makes a noncommittal noise and says, “They’re effectively daggers, don’t kid yourself.” Somewhere in the back of her head she realizes that if she pretends this is a very weird movie and tries to detach herself from the events currently occurring as much as possible, it’s a lot less terrifying.

Zero seems to almost pointedly ignore her, instead opting to leap at Birdon, slashing it with the Zero Sluggers. From there it continues, Birdon attack and Zero dodging out of the way, or trying in some cases, still taking the hit, much to Mayu’s chagrin. Zero would find an opening and strike with the Zero Sluggers, or land in a kick.

Regardless of how well Zero seemed to be doing, Mayu could tell that wasn’t exactly the case. She could feel how tired Zero was getting, mostly as a result of not being fully recovered. As much as she wanted to trust his capabilities, Mayu still found herself worrying. Part of that was also because she didn’t know what would happen to her if Zero couldn’t win this fight.

Birdon strikes, landing a solid peck with its beak on Zero’s chest, sending him flying into a building. The light on his chest, previously blue, began to beep and flash red, like a low health meter in a video game. Something told Mayu that wasn’t a good thing.

“Zero,” Mayu can’t help the fear that creeps into her voice, “What does that mean?”

Zero lets out a grunt, “That’s my timer, I can only stay like this for three minutes, or until I take certain amount of damage.” Oh, so it was like a health meter. Given that she didn’t think it had been three minutes, Mayu figured that it was probably flashing because of all the hits he’d taken.

“So, bad, is what you’re saying.”

“Yeah, bad.” Zero’s voice is dry, “I hope Riku shows up, that’s the only way we’re going to be able to beat this thing, with the state we’re in.”

“Well,” Mayu says, “I hope Riku shows up soon.”

As if on cue, something - or rather someone- knocked Birdon over, punching and clawing at it. Mayu recognized the colors and patterns that adorned his skin, dark and light grey stripes that ran across red. That was Ultraman Geed, she knew, that was Riku, as Zero had said.

Riku dodged Birdon’s next attack, coming to stand next to Zero. With a grunt, Zero pulls himself up, commenting, “It took you long enough, Geed.”

Riku rubs the back of his head, “I wasn’t sure it was you… but it really is.” There’s a curious tone in his voice, “What are you doing here, though?”

“Not right now,” Zero groaned, doing the equivalent of gritting his teeth in pain. “Let’s deal with Birdon. You’ll have to pull a lot of the weight, I’m not in amazing condition right now.”

“Right,” Riku agrees, slipping into a fighting stance, Zero following, with much struggle and pain. Mayu hadn’t realized just how much damage Zero had taken. Something told her she wasn’t making it out of here without at least some bruises. She just hoped they wouldn’t be horribly obvious.

Soon enough, between Riku and Zero, the two managed to weaken the monster, but they were still struggling to defeat it. Riku was about to change to one of his stronger forms when they hear a voice yell at them, trying to get their attention. Turning their heads to look, standing on the roof of a building, next to Zena and Moa, who still held the baby Birdon, was Noa.

“Wait!” Noa cried, “Wait a minute you two!”

“What are you doing here?” Moa asked, facing Noa with concern evident. “It’s not safe.”

“The baby,” Noa says, yanking the Birdon chick out of Moa’s arms, presenting it to Riku and Zero, “Clearly this kaiju, Birdon, wants their baby back!”

“Baby?” Riku asks, “Oh geez…”

“What? How are we supposed to give this thing the baby? It’s so small…” Zero comments. Mayu couldn’t deny that Noa had a point, it was very likely that Birdon just wanted it’s child to be safe. Looking at it, even now, Birdon seemed to stall when they saw Noa holding their baby. Then it charged, heading towards both the two Ultra’s and the three on the roof.

Without much thought, Mayu yells, “Noa! Give me the baby!” It was strange, hearing her words, but it Zero’s voice. She could tell Zero was still reeling from her taking control of his body. Mayu reaches their hand down to Noa, who placed the baby Birdon into their hand.

There was a strange feeling, very weird, Mayu would later decide, as it felt very… warm. Bright and powerful and… well, she supposed it felt quite a bit like when Zero saved her the day before. But different. Stronger, more intense. Almost like it was closer. Mayu also felt a strange sort of confidence, like she was totally capable of doing whatever had to be done now. She could do this. She could do anything if she had to, as long as she wasn’t trying to do it alone. Yes, that was it. That must have been it, in a way.

Mayu spins around, cupping the baby in their hands to keep it safe. Now facing Birdon, Mayu, out of habit really, let’s out the closest thing to a deep breath she can manage in Zero’s body. She holds out their hands, opening them so Birdon could see their baby. Birdon slows, then nearly skids to a halt, seeing their baby in Mayu’s hands.

Birdon examines Mayu, and the chick in their hands. In the calmest tone she could, Mayu tells Birdon, “Your baby, they’re okay. Take them, and leave everyone in this city be.” Birdon gives something of a nod, flapping their wings and taking to the sky. With their claws, they pick up the baby, slightly scratching the palms of Mayu’s - of Zero’s- hands. Then Birdon flys off, disappearing, baby in claw, into the sunset, as Mayu let Zero retake control.

Riku was silent for a moment, “What- what just happened?”

As the beeping of the timer on Zero’s chest continued, Zero simply looked to the roof where Zena, Moa, and Noa stood. He began to disappear into light, prompting Riku to follow in suit.

“Mayu?” Moa asks in shock when she sees who Zero became. Mayu examined herself for a moment, noting that while she was extremely sore, she didn’t seem to have any super noticeable bruises. Until she gently felt her forehead. Ouch, okay, one noticeable bruise, that’s fine. She could come up with a way to explain that.

“Mayu?” Riku parrots, “Like Leito’s daughter?”

Mayu slips her glasses back on before nodding, “Yeah,” She then gave an abridged explanation of the day before. She made sure to add in the details Zero had given about why he was there. The alien summoning monsters.

“So,” Moa began, “Does Leito know about Zero?” Mayu… really didn’t want to lie, honestly. But today and yesterday had been quite the day, and she didn’t want to try to convince people not to tell her parents. If there would be more days like today, then she didn’t want them to worry. Of course, given today, if her parents didn’t know Zero here before, they certainly would know now.

She bites her lip, finding Zero awfully, unnervingly quiet. “Uh… No… Not yet. I, uh, haven’t really had a chance to tell them.” It was the truth, mostly. Except for that bit at the end about not having a chance to tell her parents, but other than that. It was the truth, more or less.

“Well,” Riku grins, “I guess we’re going to be seeing more of each other, huh?”

“Well, uh… I guess…”

Then Noa groans, “Oh come on, this is who we were looking for?” She runs a hand through her hair. “All that work, but all it ended up taking was a freaking kaiju.”

Riku laughs, “Sorry, I didn’t think anyone would be looking for me,”

“Yeah, no, it’s fine,” Mayu responds, laughing a little herself. Then she looks at Moa and Zena, those two were still… strange.

“So,” Noa began, “Are we still supposed to believe that the two of you are insurance agents? Because I’m really not buying it.”

“Uh, well,” Moa says, then looks to Zena. Then Zena begins to explain, his lips still never moving. That he and Moa were a part of the AIB a group that dealt with aliens, to put it shortly. That often meant they also had to deal with kaijus and the like. It at least explained how they knew Mayu’s dad. And why Zena could speak without moving his mouth and showed no emotion. He was an alien, with Moa being the only human member of the AIB.

“Crazy,” Noa says, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket. “But believable.”

Mayu then realizes that the sun was setting, which meant it was getting late. She pulls her phone out to check the time, which confirmed what she thought. “Uh, sorry to cut this short, but we should be getting home.”

Noa pulled her phone out to check the time herself, frowning when she realized, “Yeah, maybe talk more tomorrow, after school?”

Riku nods with a smile, “Yeah, come to the observatory, we can all meet up and talk about what to do. Maybe invite your dad?”

“Dad’s busy tomorrow, but we’ll come.” Mayu smiles in agreement, then waves them goodbye.

When she returns home, she goes through the remaining motions of the day. Dinner, explain the bruise on her forehead - wasn’t paying attention and accidentally walked into a sign in the mall. All things considered, she found she was able to forget the craziness of the past two days. But as she was in her room, preparing for bed, Zero spoke up.

“How did you do that?” He asked.

Mayu frowned slightly, unsure of why he was curious, “Brush my teeth?” She asked quietly, confused.

“No, not that.” Zero continued, “Earlier, when I was fighting Birdon. You took control to give Birdon their baby. But how? How did you take control of my body?”

That caused Mayu to frown quite a bit, she sat at the her stool in front of her vanity. Zero sounded so shocked. “What? Has that never happened before?”

“No,” Zero insists, and Mayu could almost see him behind her as he spoke, “None of my hosts ever took control of my body before.” In Mayu’s vision of him, Zero was gesturing somewhat wildly, to match the nearly crazed tone of his voice.

“Why not?” Mayu asks, trying to think about why no one had ever taken control of Zero, when he could take control of them. She even said as much to Zero.

“Well, uh, let’s see…” Zero began, “Ran was unconscious the entire time, Taiga didn’t really want my power, only really accepting it at the very end… and Leito and I worked together, more than anything else.” Mayu began to think Zero was just talking to himself at this point, though it allowed her to learn more about Zero.

She didn’t know who these Ran and Taiga people were, but by the sound of it, Zero had a heck of a time choosing hosts before her dad. Still, she listened intently to everything Zero said, as he vocalized his thought process about all the differences between his previous three hosts and her.

“Well, I don’t know much about all of this,” Mayu says, gesturing with her hands to imply all the new things that had come within the past two days, “I just know that I really, really, wanted it all over with and figured getting the baby to it’s parent was the quickest way to do it.”

“I… I think I get what you mean.” He said, though his voice didn’t sound as sure as his words might have implied. “I’m going to think on it. Anyway, good work today, you managed to get Birdon to leave.”

“Thank Noa,” Mayu knew she wouldn’t have been able to give Birdon their baby if it weren’t for Noa, “She was the one who pointed out Birdon just wanted their baby.”

“Yeah, I guess you’ve got a pretty good friend huh?”

“Of course, why do you think I tried to help her yesterday?” She recalled the events of the day before, which now felt a very long time ago. She’d been so worried for Noa, she’d thought little of her own safety. She realized then, that if it hadn’t been for Zero, she would have died. Then Noa could have died too. “Thank you, Zero,”

“Huh?” Zero asked, “For what?”

“For saving me, yesterday, and if not also saving Noa, then for at the very least helping her.”

Mayu stands, moving to her bed. She gets in and turns the lamp by her bed off, “I hope you and I can be good friends too.”

Mayu isn’t entirely sure if Zero responded, but she could have sworn she heard something that sounded like, “Me too”.

#ultraman #ultraman zero #ultraman geed #igaguri mayu #like father like daughter #okabe noa #original character #aizaki moa #zena #my writing

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ladyherenya · 5 years ago

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Books read in October

Twenty novels (including two audiobooks), three graphic novels, one novella and two rereads: more books than are pictured above. I can’t remember the last time I read so much in a month. Maybe when I was high school?

It was a combination of factors: Rainbow Rowell’s latest books became available at the library, I realised that Meg Cabot’s Heather Wells books are murder mysteries, and I made the very exciting discovery that I could get Ellen Emerson White’s previously-out-of-print novels as ebooks.

Favourite cover: Life Without Friends.

Reread: Bryony and Roses by T. Kingfisher, Hold Me by Courtney Milan (and then The Road Home).

Still reading: Mapping Winter by Marta Randall and When We Were Warriors by Emma Carroll.

Next up: Warrior of the Altaii by Robert Jordan.

(Longer reviews and ratings are on LibraryThing. And also Dreamwidth.)

The Princess Who Flew with Dragons by Stephanie Burgis: Princess Sofia is unimpressed when her sister’s latest plans involve sending Sofia on a diplomatic mission to Villenne. Sofia wants to stay in her room and read, not remind everyone that she struggles to be a perfect princess. But in Villenne she discovers unexpected opportunities to attend lectures and make friends. And when calamity strikes, it’s up to her to save the day. A solid adventure about friendship and what it means to be a princess, a philosopher and a person all at once. It’s the sort of book I’d like to send back in time to my twelve-year-old self.

The “Uncommon Echoes” trilogy by Sharon Shinn: Set in a world where many of the nobility have “echoes” -- identical copies who follow them, more substantial than shadows but not capable of speech or independent action. Or so people believe. Begins with Echo in Onyx.

Echo in Emerald: After a story about an ordinary woman pretending to be an echo, here is a woman pretending her echoes are ordinary people. Chessie has the ability to shift her consciousness between herself and her two echoes, enough to give the impression that they are three different people with different personalities and jobs. Usually she keeps to the lower classes, but one day she’s asked to deliver a message to a noble who is investigating a recent murder.(Another inversion, another case of themes and variations, as the first book is about trying to conceal a murder.)This builds upon the first book, deepening our understanding of the political context and of echoes. Chessie’s experience of identity is fascinating.

Echo in Amethyst: A story about echo who slowly gains sentience and independence from her original is a good idea in theory, a logical progression for this trilogy. But it turned out to be a massive misstep. The echo belongs to a woman who is abusive towards her echoes and rude towards nearly everyone else. The echo spends a long time incapable of being anything other than a passive observer of unpleasant people. I skimmed bits and seriously considered abandoning this. Not recommended -- but the first two books standalone sufficiently that you could read just those without this series feeling naggingly incomplete.

Pumpkinheads by Rainbow Rowell, illustrated by Faith Erin Hicks: Super cute! All through high school Josiah and Deja have worked together at the pumpkin patch every September and October. Tonight is their last shift. Deja is determined that Josiah is finally going to speak to the girl he likes. Nothing goes to plan. This is a story about changes, chances and choices. It’s also a love letter to everything Josiah and Deja love about the pumpkin patch -- which includes their relationship. I really liked the characters, and the artwork does such a wonderful job of bringing them, and this place, to life.

The Spies of Shilling Lane by Jennifer Ryan (narrated by Jayne Entwistle): Unexpectedly entertaining, a cosy mystery full of excitement, danger and character growth, set against the backdrop of the London Blitz. Mrs Braithwaite, divorced and deposed from her position as head of the village Women’s Voluntary Service, tries to find her missing adult daughter. Mrs Braithwaite is a very forceful personality. I really liked that she is not only challenged to reevaluate her attitudes, she discovers that qualities like bossiness and tenacity can be great strengths. Large, loud and assertive middle-aged women are so often been relegated to irritating or comedic minor characters, rather than getting to be protagonists.

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson: Isobel has spent years painting portraits of the fair folk. She knows to speak courteously, make bargains carefully, and avoid jeopardising her family’s safety. And then she meets the prince of the autumn court. I have mixed feelings. I really liked Isobel, with her practical streak and her passion for painting, and liked the way she describes her experiences. The people she’s closest to are quickly established as interesting, complex and individual. However, this story leans heavily into a portrayal of the fair folk which I don’t find very appealing. A matter of personal taste rather than quality.

Artistic License by Elle Pierson (aka Lucy Parker): I wasn’t sure what to expect from an early self-published novel about an art student and a security guard in New Zealand, especially as the London theatre world is a big part of why Parker’s other books appeal to me. But Queenstown is such a scenic setting and the characters immediately felt like the sort of people Parker writes about. I particularly enjoyed Sophy’s internal dialogue, and how she and Mick become very protective of each other. They’re so mutually caring! In hindsight, this book could have been stronger... but I liked the characters and their interactions. Sometimes that’s enough.

The Printed Letter Bookshop by Katherine Reay: A story about cross-age friendship and forgiveness, about three different women working together in a bookshop. Madeline, a lawyer, has inherited the bookshop from her aunt. Janet is angry and has an ex husband, adult children who rarely speak to her and old friends she wants to avoid. In the middle is Claire, aware of the shop’s precarious finances and trying to juggle work with motherhood. I’d nearly finished this when I realised it’s classified as “Christian fiction”. I really liked how it is about forgiveness and messy, complicated relationships. Not a perfect book, but it surprised me.

The “Heather Wells Mysteries” by Meg Cabot:

Size 12 Is Not Fat: I discovered that this series isn’t just chick lit, it’s murder mystery chick lit about a former pop singer now working as an assistant director for a college dorm. (Talk about misleading covers!) When a student is found dead, Heather is convinced that it wasn’t an accident but murder. At times Heather reminded me of Mia from The Princess Diaries, which I found fascinating and frustrating (some attitudes are more understandable coming from a teenager than from a woman approaching thirty). Anyway, Heather is kind and humorous, I liked the setting, and the mystery had enough twists to satisfy me.

Size 14 Is Not Fat Either: More of the same, except that this time when a student turns up dead, it’s obvious to everyone that she has been murdered. Instead of trying to convince everyone of the need for a murder investigation, Heather is trying -- unsuccessfully -- not to get involved in it. I like how supportive Heather’s friends and colleagues are. Her father has been absent (in jail), her mother and her manager ran off with Heather’s money, and her long term boyfriend was unfaithful, but she’s still got people in her life who care and who are there for her. And I did enjoy some of her song lyrics.

Size Doesn’t Matter (US title: Big Boned): I was relieved that this time round the murder victim is not another female student. Yes, murder is horrible regardless, but there can be something particularly unpleasant if a story keeps only killing young women. I definitely don’t want murder mysteries to be all grim and bleak, but I prefer it when murder mysteries aren’t this light-hearted. This isn’t a criticism, just a realisation about my personal taste. I kept reading to see some resolution in Heather’s love life. (I know, priorities). I’ve no idea the woman on the cover is wearing a wedding dress. Marketing is weird.

Wayward Son by Rainbow Rowell: Simon, Baz and Penelope set off on a roadtrip across America to see Agatha, who Penelope is convinced is in trouble. Rowell is so good making me care about her characters and their relationships. I liked how this is a journey of discovery -- exploring a new country, finding out things about the world they live in and learning more about themselves. I enjoyed reading this but wasn’t so enthusiastic about the final act (it becomes a story about vampires) or the conclusion (busy setting up for a sequel, it leaves emotional arcs unresolved). Expectations and personal preferences, I guess.

Life Without Friends by Ellen Emerson White: I was so excited when I discovered that this had been released as an ebook. A decade of wanting to read something may be an unfair amount of pressure to put on any book, especially on a teen novel from 1987, but I was not disappointed. White is so good at writing smart, acerbic teenage girls dealing with trauma and intense emotions, like guilt and grief. And Beverly’s relationship with Derek is so believably awkward and tentative and hopeful -- two people with their own flaws and fears making the effort to get to know each other. It’s, like, everything I want from teen romance.

To Be Taught, If Fortunate by Becky Chambers: A team from the 22nd century explore four habitable worlds in orbit around a red dwarf star. It’s a fascinating glimpse into what the future might be like -- what space travel and other worlds might be like -- and a thought-provoking meditation about space, science and life. When it comes to the characters, there’s something quite elliptical about it -- which is fitting, given that Ariadne is writing this account for a specific purpose. It left me feeling unsatisfied, but I think that’s because there are particular things I’m looking for and this novella intentionally -- and effectively -- focuses on something else.

The Sinister Mystery of the Mesmerizing Girl by Theodora Goss (narrated by Kate Reading): The Athena Club return to London from one extraordinary adventure and are plunged into another. Their teenaged kitchen maid Alice has been kidnapped, Sherlock Holmes is missing and there is a plot afoot to impersonate the queen. This story has adventure, teamwork, mystery, unexpected twists, more cameos by characters from popular Victorian fiction, and commentary on late Victorian concerns (like empire and eugenics). My favourite part was the Athena Club's interactions when they interrupt the narrative to discuss their lives together, highlight what they think is important or argue about what Catherine included. They’re a team, a household, a family.

All Emergencies, Ring Super by Ellen Emerson White: A teenager asks Dana, a former actress working as a building superintendent, to investigate a building fire. This was curiously lacking in tension --- until things became intensely personal. By the end, I was seriously disappointed that there isn’t a whole series about Dana solving mysteries. I like that Dana investigates by doing research at the library, making use of her acting abilities and enlisting support from friends. Her friendships are one of the highlights -- smart, difficult people who are honest with each other is an interesting dynamic. And the way White writes about the aftermath of trauma is compelling and thoughtful.

The “Echo Company” series by Ellen Emerson White: I read all five books in two days. They’re fast-paced and some aren’t particularly long -- they were published by Scholastic in the early 90s -- but that is only part of why I read them so quickly. They are compelling and unexpectedly fascinating.

Welcome to Vietnam: Eighteen year old Michael Jennings is conscripted to fight in Vietnam -- and I really wanted to see him to find his feet, make friends and survive. I can relate to how much he cares about his dog, and his sense of humour makes him an entertaining character to spend time with, even though he’s been thrown into a terrible, terrifying situation. Even knowing what wars can be like, I was still surprised by conditions the soldiers faced. I was also surprised by how interesting I found it all. It left me thinking about a lot.

Hill 568: Michael has made some friends (and some enemies), he’s grown accustomed to some of the realities of life on the frontlines in Vietnam, and he takes on more responsibility. White’s characters are lively and, in spite of the situations they’re in, often humorous. That humour is a huge part of why this is an engaging story, like an antidote to the horrors of war, but it also serves to emphasise that all those horrible things are happening to a bunch of ordinary young men barely out of school. This book made me laugh, and made me worry about the characters.

‘Tis the Season: Twenty-one year old Lieutenant Rebecca Phillips is a nurse working in the ER of an evacuation hospital in Vietnam. Although already dealing with grief and difficult family relationships and a nightmarish workplace, she’s a bright, upbeat person who goes out of her way to entertain others. Self-appointed “Court Jester”. During the Christmas ceasefire she goes out on a medical helicopter -- and everything goes to hell. There are more medical details than I, a squeamish person, really prefer, but once I got to know Rebecca -- and also once her circumstances became tense and terrifying -- I was very, very invested.

Stand Down: This has some tense moments, but otherwise feels a bit lighter -- a welcome change of pace after everything the characters have been through. Michael spends a lot of time moping over correspondence (or lack thereof) from a nurse he’s met once -- but in context, that’s very understandable. He so desperately needs something positive and hopeful to focus on. I like that Michael’s and Rebecca’s initial interactions aren’t easy, because that feels realistic in the circumstances, and because it’s a positive sign that they’re able to get through awkward conversations; it sets them up to be honest with each other.

The Road Home: I stayed up stupidly late reading this, on a school night too. White is so good at writing about dealing with the aftermath of trauma, and about smart, difficult people making an effort to build relationships -- friendships as well as romances. This follows Rebecca’s final six months serving as a nurse in Vietnam, and the months afterwards. It’s about the things that get her through the war (letters, friendships, alcohol) and the difficulties of adjusting to life back home. I love how this book deals realistically but hopefully with so many things. I have a lot of feelings and favourite passages.

Applied Electromagnetism by Susannah Nix: Two colleagues who travel interstate to do a job with a deadline find themselves under extra pressure due to complications of bad weather. I liked all the references to Olivia and Adam’s nerdy interests, and I thought the discussions of Olivia’s ADHD and her experiences as a woman in STEM were interesting. Otherwise nothing jumped out at me as deserving of criticism or praise, it was all just okay. Less humorous than I expected from something book described as “romantic comedy”, but that was okay. (And maybe someone else would find it funny, humour is such a your-mileage-may-vary thing.)

The Tea Dragon Society by Katie O’Neill: I love the concept of tea dragons and a tea dragon society. And the dragons are really cute! But the way people’s expressions are drawn in this graphic novel didn’t quite appeal to me and I think that coloured how I felt about the book as a whole. And it’s not a very long story, so it doesn’t have so many opportunities to win over a reader who isn’t enamoured with the illustrations. I’m sorry, book, I’m sure there are other readers out there who will appreciate you!

Runaways: That Was Yesterday (volume 3) by Rainbow Rowell and Kris Anka with Matthew Wilson: Follows on from Find Your Way Home and Best Friends Forever and involves the reappearance of someone from the Runaways’ past, the appearance of children of old enemies and Christmas. I read three volumes of the original Runaways comics last year -- and this volume really left me feeling like maybe I’d appreciate it more if I’d read those more recently or else if I’d read more of them. Or maybe it was just that it focused a lot on a character I don’t like as much? But, I still liked it. I definitely would like to read more.

#Herenya reviews books #Sharon Shinn #Rainbow Rowell #Ellen Emerson White #Stephanie Burgis #Margaret Rogerson #Lucy Parker #Katherine Reay #Meg Cabot #Becky Chambers #Theodora Goss #Susannah Nix #Katie O'Neill #Finally posting this

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