#what matters to her is whether her family is safe; she could care less about general ethics

[arceus-insanity]

Something I never particularly liked about Endeavor's atonement, is that he never gave or gave up anything he actually wanted.

Like Endeavor was always willing to risk his life and limb as a hero, so any life-threatening risks or bodily harm he receives is just part of the job he was always willing to do from the beginning.

Him building a house for his remaining family members, only he won't be there?

Endeavor never cared whether he lived with his family or not, all that mattered to him was creating the strongest hero in Shoto.

So he never showed any want to be with his family until Shoto was already on his way to being a great hero.

It was barely an afterthought to him that was never followed through on.

The ending only makes all this worse, because it looks like he replaced each member of his family that he lost with heroes, the people he really wanted to be around...

Fuyumi = Burnin, onima = Natsuo, Hawks = Touya

Shoto on the path to heroic success.

And Rei there too, I guess for some reason???

Just wheeling him around...

Do you feel similarly or different about all this?

DING DING DING We have a winner!

Endeavor never has to sacrifice anything, he never chooses his family over his precious number one spot. He only even remembered they existed after he got his Precious.

And something I noticed is he is full of shit, and believes his own shit.

Like he thinks that 'oh I'll make a house for all my family members to live in' (Which we never see happen, so once again empty bullshit as always). But he never asks them what they want, it is incredibly bold to assume they would all want to live together, or even be able to with their careers, and if the kids want to start their own families. We also know Shoto likes traditional Japanese flooring, but what about the rest of them, and does Endeavor even know that?

One thing I've never seen anyone call out is his manipulative gaslighting speech to Natsuo after being rescued from Ending. He says that he didn't save Natsuo because he didn't want to make like Natsuo feel like he has to forgive him, only to without hesitation force him into a hug. So fucking much for respecting Natsuo's autonomy.

And this ain't the first time this lazy coward has froze when his kids are in immediate danger, we see him standing safely outside the flames with his fire resistance while Touya who's weak to fire burned on the peak. With Endeavor of course claiming 'he did everything he could'.

We also find out he harrassed Fuyumi into giving him Shoto's, his fucking masterpiece, number. Which he uses to text Shoto, in the middle of not just his workday, but fucking class hours! So much is wrong with this, this doesn't make him look good or show any atonement or redemption. What it does is make me think a lot less of both this excuse of a human being and his daughter (The start of her enabler arc). He's doubling down on past behaviour, quite stupidly I might add. And why the fuck did he need to get it from Fuyumi? Presumably, he's the one paying for the phone, he should just have the number from that!

Once again this man openly admits he only offered the work-study to Deku and Bakugou to manipulate Shoto. And constantly favors him when it comes to teaching. Understanding Deku's word vomit isn't difficult, even with him stupidly over-explaining it

What we don't see (or hear of) is him doing anything for or with Fuyumi, the only kid that wants anything to do with him (despite her character profile saying she resents him)

He is constantly given credit for shit he actively isn't doing!

But he and the narrative constantly throw him a pity party the second consequences are even hinted at. Not to mention he is also constantly rewarded for his (non-existent) efforts, Shoto chooses to work with him, Rei forgives him, Hawks, Burnin, Best Jeanist, etc are around to lick his boots clean and make sure he doesn't have to face any of those hinted at consequences. Boo fucking Hoo, the League (and specifically Dabi in this) deserved to win, and by the end, I was convinced that they would have been better for society

[iouinotes]

match made in heaven | Alex Walter

pairing: Alex Walter x female!reader

show: My life with the Walter boys

warnings: just kissing word count: 2,2k

summary: At your birthday party you get dared to spend 7 minutes in heaven with none other than your best friend Alex.

a/n: A modified review of "Beautiful boy" Thank you @rogueanschel-reads for the woderful idea!

"Come on, even a stranger can sense your attraction for each other, the hidden love that lays beneath your friendship."

Maybe it wasnt the best idea to play truth or dare.

Well, firstly I want to say that I love my friendgroup. Grace, Skylar, his boyfriend Nathan, Kiley and of course, my best friend Alex.

Really, I love these guys. But sometimes they make me want to jump off a cliff, no regretting or turning back.

In moments like this, where I want to spent a good time partying with my friends, because its my 16th birthday, they need to remind me of the he-who-must-not-be-named-topic. That means for outstanders, my non-existent, strictly friendly feelings for my best friend Alex.

The guy, who has absolutely no idea, he's being compared to Voldemort. But for the matter of fact, Harry Potter are my all-time favorite movies and early Voldemort was actually quiet handsome. So, it kinda makes sense. Why? Because Alex has put a spell on me with his smile and his pretty face.

But back to my party.

We are currently in the living room, our knees are touching the legs of the person next to us and someone (Grace) encouraged us to smuggle a few bottles of alcohol to the party, even though we didnt plan to drink.

Now, Skylar had the great idea to embarrass everyone by playing truth or dare, but with a twist. He likes to call it "match made in heaven" or what it actually means, making out in a closet. Something like that, I've never participated in any of these games.

Until now.

As I am the birthday girl, I started the game by choosing truth. But I could really have just voluntarily confessed my feelings for Alex. Because Grace winked at me and I knew at that moment, that the next few minutes meant trouble.

"So, y/n. Describe us your magical boy, that you dream of being able to call your own." I knew it. She could have just asked me what college I wanted to attend or something less embarrassing, but no. She needed to ask me about my type in boys, which obviously is my handsome, brown haired best friend next to me.

As I'm about to hide my head in my hands, I hear the encouraging shouts of the people I call my friends.

"Okay, okay. Let me think for a moment." I couldnt make it that obvious, I liked him. But still, it was worth a try.

"Someone who has an angelic smile, where you just stare at his face and can´t stop looking at him. I-I like brown hair and I dont know, what it is, but hazel eyes, they somehow make my heart beat faster. I mean- he´s attractive, because he is a gentleman. Caring and supportive, someone who listens to my wants and needs, but still continues to be his true self. I can read books with him or we watch movies together and talk about it after. He makes me feel seen, safe. I love him, because he is everything I could ever dream of and more."

When I finish speaking, Grace grins innocent and looks at me with her long eyelashes. "I wonder, who that could be."

My eyes secretly dart to Alex, trying to figure out, if he knows, that I am very obviously describing him. But he just watches the floor, his eyebrows are drawn together and I almost think, he looks annoyed.

"Someone is jealous" I hear Skylar´s voice in my ear.

As the game went on, his behavior kept being slightly off, even though he never said anything about it and continued to smile at me, when we looked at each other.

And then, Alex was asked about his favorite memory, whether it was about being in school, with family or with friends.

Well, he told them about the first time, he introduced me to his favorite book saga, the Lord of the Rings. I never knew, that day was so special for him, but as he described my hilarious reactions and facial features, how he saw my eyes widen with disbelief as he read out the first chapters, I remembered.

When I look back, it really was a wonderful night. We did a sleepover at his house and were talking about watching Harry Potter or The Lord of the Rings. Somehow, we also talked about the books and that I read the seven books about the famous wizard and he the books about the elves and other creatures (don´t judge me for this description). We discussed almost every aspect, but he still convinced me to give his favorite books a try. So we spent the night spread out on his bed, eating sweets and reading the first book. Well, he mostly read it out loud to me, because his pronunciation was definitely much better than mine. It was fun, also because I got to watch him being in his element, so it really was a heartwarming evening.

I smile at the memory, a warm feeling blooms in my chest and when he finishes talking about it, he looks at me fondly. I had to keep myself from wanting to giggle like a little girl, but my inner 13-year old, most definitely did giggle.

Back to the original topic. Next, Grace was dared to wear one of my clothes, Kiley told us about her celebrity crush (Timothee Chalamet, but you didnt hear it from me) and when Alex was asked who he would trust with his secret, if he was spiderman, he mentioned me again. It was sweet and I had planned to tell him, that I would love to be the girl in the chair.

But, as the game went on, my name constantly fell from his lips. He was dared to show one of the most terrible photos of him and revealed to the group, a snapshot from us, wearing unrecognizable Halloween costumes. Funny, but my idea to go as ghosts wasnt that bad.

Nevertheless, he talked about the best gift he had ever received, a pair of cowboy boots, I got him two years ago (Nathan was playfully annoyed that one of his presents werent the best one) and as the game continued, the question, that I tried my best to avoid, was eventually asked.

"You two are always around each other and I've barely seen you apart, like ever. Are you sure, there is nothing going on between you? It seems like it."

Alex and I looked at each other, but then quickly laughed it off. It was what we always did, when someone asked us about our close friendship. None of us really answered and that meant for me, that he neither confirmed or declined having feelings for me. Very confusing and bad for my hoping heart.

So, when our friends are looking at each other now, grinning like they planned something really wicked, I know, that my personal hell is waiting for me. Or in my situation, a modified version of heaven.

"Y/n, I dare you to play seven minutes in heaven with just your best friend Alex." Grace is smiling in front of me and when I want to debate about it, she cuts me off.

"But I havent said I would take dare-" my words are going silent and I only hear my pounding heart.

"You always choose truth, that´s boring. You get the dare now, so stand up and cuddle with your wizard!"

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Alex holds his hands out for me, so he can help me stand up. He silently looks at me and I try to assure him by smiling, but I think I´m failing at it. Because he looks as unnerved as I feel right now.

When we walk out of the room and into the small storage room, we hear Skylar´s distance shouting.

"No lights and close the door! That are the rules, we set the timer!"

Why was I friends with them again?

When we approach the room, unlocking the door and stepping inside, we are suddenly surrounded by darkness. And when he closes my only way to escape, its quiet for a moment. Then, I hear is curious voice.

"What did Grace mean about your wizard?"

I relax and gently laugh. Nothing has to happen, everything is fine.

"That you are as bad at keeping secrets than Draco. Harry really found out on the first day in 6th grade, that something was clearly up with him."

Alex groans. "Please no more talking about your Drarry shipping. I get it, it could have been an enemies-to-lovers romance."

I smack his arm, taking a step closer to him.

"Okay, what would you like to talk about instead?"

I can make out the outlines of his face in the darkness, seeing how he also takes a step closer. I feel myself breathing heavily and my hands nervously shaking.

"I think, that I should keep you warm, because I literally see your hands shaking." When he takes another step in my direction, I hold my breath and in the same second, I feel his arms wrap around me.

His hands find their way to my back, embracing me in his warmth until I feel him breathing on my neck. I need to stop myself from shivering at this feeling.

"I can work with that." I whisper, snuggling into his chest and closing my eyes. I hear his racing heart and immediately need to smile.

"Your heart is beating very fast." His chin rests on my head, I feel him holding me closer.

"It´s the darkness." Of course, it is.

When I also close my arms around his waist, I feel for the first time a kind of inner peace, that I read about in books.

When a character feels safe in the embrace of their beloved.

Silence surrounds us for a minute and I begin to thank Grace for her dare, because him holding me in his arms und me, hugging him, is much more than wonderful.

"When you call me a wizard, do I get to call you a witch?" I burst out a laughter at his question.

"Only if you won´t compare me to Umbridge." He nods quietly.

"You are as far away from being like Umbridge as the earth is away from the moon. So, you don´t have to worry."

"Good." We are silent again.

"So, have you ever thought about what you would do, if you would get to spent time with a person, when you have seven minutes in heaven?" I think for a few seconds, before I answer him.

"I always imaged this game as a way to confess feelings or solving a fight. Maybe a hidden chance to make out too, I guess."

I hear him taking a deep breath, not expecting much. Until-

"Can I kiss you?" My knees almost give out.

"You what-?" I turn to look at him. Noticing his widen pupils.

"I mean, would you, um, want to kiss. Like, me. Now. Not that you need to, but you sounded like you would want that experience, so-" he tries to hold a stable voice, but I can sense, that he's slowly freaking out.

"Alex. You just asked me, if we should kiss."

I can´t believe it.

"...yes?" He sounds so sincere.

"Why?" I ask, while continue to look at him, feeling every centimeter that divides our lips from touching.

"Like I said, I don´t want you to miss out on anything."

Silence.

"Okay and maybe I just wanted an excuse to kiss you, before that dream boy of yours does."

I lean forward, watching as his eyes keep looking at my lips, even though he tries to hold the eye contact.

I slowly raise my hand and place it on the back of his neck, caressing the dark hair and twirling a few strands.

"Are you jealous, pretty boy?" I feel his cheeks getting warm, seeing the effect my words have on him.

His hands hold me tighter and a startled expression is shown on his face.

"What? Me, jealous? No." I raise my eyebrows at him.

He signs. "Maybe. I dont like the thought of someone else with you." His thumb brushes over my lips.

"Kissing you, touching you. It just doesnt feel right, that someone else would do that."

"You mean, someone who isnt you?" I look at his lips and he hums quietly. His hand slowly wanders to my chin and directs my head closer to him, I can feel his breath on my skin.

"We don´t have to do it-" I begin to talk, but then again, when he speaks up, his voice sounds out of breath, like he's holding himself back.

"No, it´s just one...little...kiss" his voice becomes quieter, the less distance there is between our faces.

And with one, last look, he catches my lips in a slow kiss. Keeping me close to him, by holding onto my waist. His hands find their way to my cheeks, caressing them with his fingers and I feel my heart pounding as prominent against my chest as feel him kissing me.

I don't notice, that he's directing me back until I gently hit the wall, while his hands slowly explore my sides. My hands tangle in his hair, tugging him closer, so I can feel everything of him.

And in that moment, I understand the name of the game. Because this truly feels like heaven.

When I notice, that I can´t breath anymore (but who needs oxygen when you can have Alex Walter), we gently break apart. Still holding onto each other.

And as soon as we catch our breath, both of us are smiling at each other and we share our feelings without a word.

"That was-" he doesnt get to finish his sentence, because in a blink of an eye, the door opens and brightness consumes us.

We quickly break apart, but apparently too late, because Grace´s voice is the first one to tease us.

"Right, you are just friends."

You can imagine, what the entire evening after that was like...

[thenextdawn-temporarilyclosed]

Always By Your Side

Word count: 1.9K

Summary: you were friends with Jenna, but ever since she got famous she started ignoring you, even if you kept being her number one fan.

Warnings: angst

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

Posting this to check if I’m actually not shadow banned anymore😂 but Don’t get me started on this Idea. It has been stuck in my mind forever. I hope you like this

———

Growing up in California has always had its perks. Wherever you went, there were famous people, whether it was adults, teenagers, even kids and older people. It didn’t matter where you went, there was always a crowd around someone famous. Useless to say that this had its toll on your life, because eventually you wanted to be an actress, and ever since you were a kid you would find scripts online and practice them on your own or with your best friend, Jenna. She lived down the street and you were always at her place playing with her and with her siblings, you would sleep at their house, have dinners there and whenever they did something, you were always invited, you even went on family trips with them! It was safe to say that they considered you part of their family.

With time passing, you and Jenna grew even closer. Both of your dreams was still to be actresses as you kept on practicing scripts and monologues, but she’s always been better than you, and there was no one denying that. At some point Jenna’s mom’s friend was friends with a casting director and they tried giving both of you chances to eventually start on acting in shows or movies. Only… she got the roles, and you didn’t. You never did. Were you jealous? No you weren’t, because your best friend had achieved her dreams and she was living it for you too. She was away from home a lot, but she always found a way to keep in contact with you, at first at least. You were both still 14 after all, and her schedule wasn’t so busy so she was home a lot, and you went to visit her whenever you could.

Though things started changing when you both turned 16. She was never home anymore as her schedule was so busy.

You: hey Jen. I know you’re busy, buy can you call me when you have some free time? I really miss my best friend🥺

Jen: Hey! Yes of course! I’ll call you at 7.30 tonight okay? Miss you too <3

Those little things always made you smile, even if she was so busy and never home, she always cut some time from her breaks to call you and just talk about anything. She didn’t care if she didn’t have lunch, she WANTED to talk to you and this alone always made you miss her less. At age 17 though, having grown up and was now fit for harder roles, early morning alarms and what not, the time she cut for you ceased existing.

You: Heyyyy! Video call tonight at 7.30 pm like always?

Jen: I’m sorry I’m really busy. Promise we’ll catch up eventually. TTYL.

Only the two of you never caught up. She never found time for you anymore and it was starting to hurt. You knew that at some point actors leave their past life behind, but you never expected Jenna to do so to you. You never expected her to forget about you when you grew up together ever since day one, when you were in cribs. But even though she barely even thought of you, it was safe to say that you were her number one fan. You watched her movies, had bought the merch that came along with them, watching her interviews, Hell you even texted her supporting her of everything.

September 10, 2020

You: dude, that “babysitter killer queen” movie is just something else, I was so entertained watching it! You did a great job💕

March 12, 2021

You: your role in “yes day” was amazing. Katie Torres is so cute! Loved it✨

January 14, 2022

You: uhm HELLO? The new scream movie is fire! Hope to see you in the next one☺️

January 27, 2022

You: GURL! ARE WE GONNA TALK ABOUT VADA CAVELL? Please, she’s SO FINE

March 18, 2022

You: okay, that X movie was different. Not of my likings, buy you did a great job as always. Miss you.

Not once did she ever reply to your texts. Sure, she read them but you never got any kind of feedback from her. It’s like she was always too busy even for a text, or she just simply didn’t care anymore. It was hard, going on with your life knowing that she never had time for you anymore. You used to be her best friend but now, seeing from her posts she had new best friends and it was hurting a lot, knowing that she just forgot about you, and your head started going a thousand places, was she ashamed because her best friend wasn’t famous? And what if she simply didn’t want to be seen around with you? You were a no one, after all. Would famous people want to be seen around with a no one?

You had to get back to her, show her that there was no shame in being seen around with someone who isn’t famous. It should make you even more “honest” to show that you’re not only friends with famous people, but you’ve kept your friends of a lifetime, but you thought that this wasn’t something she’d ever consider. You posted a photo of the two of you hugging and a few videos, tagging her and writing under it “miss my best friend so much.” Jenna’s fans freaked out at that and reposted the photos, the cute videos all over the internet. Jenna wasn’t the type of girl to be on social medias but you were sure she saw your post when she liked it. It was just a like though, there was no “miss you too” comment or even a text, nothing at all. You had to find a way to see her, talk to her face to face.

You got the chance to do so when after her new series “Wednesday” came out, the premiere was in your city. You HAD to go. You even found the ticket to get backstage and talk with the actors, you had to talk to her. You dressed up elegantly just for the night and you made sure to go there REALLY early to be in front of the barricades, you had to see her and she had to see you. When actors started arriving, of course no one recognized you. Except for obviously Jenna. She looked at you as she walked by, and you gave her a small smile as you waved at her, she did the same but then walked away, to other fans and to the photo booth. She looked gorgeous to say the least. You had seen her on tv, but she hasn’t seen you in years and suddenly reality hit her.

You had been supporting her ever since and she has done nothing but ignore you these past 5 years, and she started thinking of how much it could have hurt you, seeing her realize her dreams while you couldn’t. She was scared shitless to talk to you, she was afraid that you’d yell at her, get mad at her or something like that. When the premiere was finished it was now time for the people who had the backstage ticket to actually go backstage. You were one of the lasts in line and you weren’t in a rush, you needed to talk to her not just for two minutes, and you knew that fans would absolutely want to talk to her, so you stood back and patiently waited for your turn. You didn’t wait really long because everyone only had a limited time with each actor, but you didn’t care because you knew that if you needed It, Jenna would tell the crew that you were allowed to stay.

As soon as it was your turn you walked up to her and she gave you a small sad smile. She didn’t know how to act, what to do. She was scared of what you’d say or do. “Hey Jen” you said as you walked over, you weren’t sure of what you could or could not do, but you were surprised when she hugged you tightly, hiding her face in your shoulder. You let her do, hugging her back and letting her stay in the embrace for as long as she wanted. When she pulled back, her eyes were slightly teary. “(Y/N) I-I’m so sorry” she started, you knew exactly what she was talking about. “I’m sorry too. But it’s okay, you have a busy schedule and it’s okay to not have time” you said reassuring her. “I was just scared you’d forgotten about me or that you didn’t care anymore. And it hurts because I haven’t been hearing back from you for 5 years Jen. You do understand that right? I was scared that I was bothering you and that you didn’t want me to text you.” You said looking down, and she looked down of shame as well.

“I never meant for any of this to happen. You’re my best friend, (Y/N). I just… got scared.” She said and you looked at her with confusion sprawled out all over your face. “Scared of what?” You asked, she took a hold of your hand and looked up at you. “When we started with the videocalls.. they made me really happy, and I knew you were happy too. But growing up my feelings towards you only grew, and not just in a “friends” way if you know what I mean. I was- and maybe I still am in in love with you. But I was scared, I was never home and I didn’t want to say that over a phone, figuring out that it would have been better if I told you face to face. But I always chickened out and I figured out that if I ever told you, the constant distance would have ended up hurting you. But I hurt you anyways, so…”

You looked at her as a smile slowly made its way to your face. “Jesus Jen I thought you hated me or something..” you said, giggling of relief, as she looked up at you “does that mean you forgive me?” She said hopeful, this even showing on her face. How could you reply to this? Deep down, you also had feelings for her, and they only grew. So you pulled her in from her waist, a hand removing the black veil of her dress from her face as you leaned in for a kiss, your first. She was shocked at first, not believing what was happening as she eventually kissed you back, closing her eyes and arms around your neck as she smiled and hummed happily on your lips, moving closer to you, if that was even possible. Managers had tried to get closer to you two and move you two away, but Jenna shushed them away and kept on kissing you, all while you just smiled.

Eventually she pulled back to look at you. “I love you so much (Y/N).. I swear to you that from now on I’ll take you with me wherever I go and you’ll never leave my side.”

[anxiousnerdwritings]

since we on the ropic of sibling reader can you imagine how pissed bruce + batfam (and alfred, to a degree) would be if like talia ever did get with sibling!reader, she'd be smug af bcuz if bruce's sibling lives in the manor, it gives her a chance to see her love and her ex in one trip. cut to damian standing in the back conflicted that his uncle/aunt has the chance to become another mom/dad but also looking at his mother like "why are you dating my uncle/aunt 😦🤨"

can you imagine tho bruce throwing an aggressive fit if his sibling chooses to date Hal of all people?? Clark, Diana? He's sees the appeal tbh; he won't be too happy, but he sees the vision. Oliver, Dina? another pair of 'sees the appeal'. But Hal???? no no no bruce is shutting that shit down and fast. Barry is really the only safe option and even then he can quite literally sweep his sibling off their feet and away from the safety of the manor.

i want to imagine that the kids feel very strongly against this but also play matchmaker yk?? like some do it to piss bruce off (mainly jason, damian) and a few others do it for the drama (steph + cass by association, dick). the rest are a mix of both.

Talia totally takes pleasure in rubbing it in Bruce’s face that she’s with his sibling now and she loves seeing Bruce affected by it. He’s not jealous that she’s with someone else, let alone his sibling, honestly he couldn’t care less about that. No, it’s the fact that his sibling is in a relationship in general. Bruce is very much the type who thinks that no one is worthy of being with his sibling and no matter what they will never meet his standards for being a romantic partner to his beloved sibling who more than deserves the world and everything else. Not to mention Bruce knows damn well that Talia plans to take the Reader with her eventually and he’s having none of that.

I could kind of see Damian actually wanting the Reader to be more of a mother/father to him, they already act like one to him so why not officially become his second mom/dad. It wasn’t really until Talia was very open with her romantic intentions towards the Reader that had Damian really leaning towards making it all happen. I could also see Damian being very bratty and extremely jealous thinking of the Reader becoming a parent and having a family of their own that didn’t include him. As far as he’s concerned his aunt/uncle is already like another mom/dad to him and to have their focus and affections being taken off of him really irritates and frustrates him to no end. But when Talia mentions offhandedly about taking the Reader home with her, all bets are off and he’s fighting to keep them with him and Bruce. Unless the Reader was actually willing to go with Talia and start a life with her and the League of Assassins then Damian may be willing to go with them, not only to keep an eye on the Reader but also to stay with them as well.

All the batkids have their own OTP ships for the Reader and they would definitely play matchmaker to make it come true. Mush to Bruce’s horror and disdain. His own kids are going against him when it comes to the Reader’s love life. While he believes they shouldn’t have one whatsoever, the kids have their own ideas of what the Reader’s love life should really be. Also, this is all totally happening behind the Reader’s back without their knowledge. And I have no boyfriend that all the Reader’s suitors have and will continue to make impromptu and uninvited visits to the manor to see and spend time with the Reader. Whether the romantic yanderes were in actuality invited by/planned with the respective Baylis shipping them with the Reader or they came of their own accord to be around the Reader is debatable. But it certainly gets on Bruce’s nerves. Hell, even Alfred has his own ship of who the Reader should end up with adding more towards the betrayal Bruce feels with everyone in the batfamily going against him like this.

Just imagining Bruce’s reaction to Hal pulling up to the manor to take the Reader out on a date is so hilarious. I can’t help but see him being the one to answer the door only to slam it in Hal’s face when he sees him. If the Reader is adamant about going out with Hal then Bruce would totally be sat on their bed the whole time they’re getting ready trying to persuade them to cancel or at least go for someone else other than Hal. Bruce just Turing into a bratty sibling is just too funny not to think about. He definitely glares daggers at Hal the whole time he’s there. The only compromise Bruce could come to is either having the Reader and Hal’s date at the manor so it can be monitored or the date turning into a double date with Bruce and either Selina or some random woman he takes out just so he can keep an eye on his precious sibling. (I can’t help but imagine not only Bruce but the rest of the batfamily dressed in hilarious disguises spying on the Reader and whoever they’re on a date with. Or even the respective yandere’s rival suitors doing the same thing too.)

If you think Bruce’s reaction to his sibling dating Hal is bad, imagine how he takes to learning the Reader is going out with Guy Gardner.

[louisianna]

I could write an entire essay (and perhaps one day I will) on how 'Furiosa' is Gothic fiction, a Gothic romance in particular, but I just need to talk about one key aspect of the relationship between Furiosa and Jack for a minute. A lot of discussion surrounding them has been about the nature of their relationship. Most people seem to love the ambiguity, myself included, and I think looking at it through a Gothic romance lens can help us understand why it works so well.

Most Gothic romances feature a heroine who is trapped inside a literal and/or figurative domestic space by a domineering man, typically a father or husband. Poor Furiosa gets both. Dementus imprisons her in the role of daughter. Immortan Joe imprisons her in the role of wife. These are restrictive domestic roles which have been forced upon her and which she cannot freely walk away from. Gothic romance is at its best when it is exposing and critiquing the cruelty of a patriarchal society and the unfair limitations it places upon women.

Furiosa evades attention by disguising herself as a boy. When Jack realises she is actually a woman, and that she is determined to leave the Wasteland, he immediately offers to help her get to wherever she needs to go. No questions asked. And what does Jack expect in return? Absolutely nothing. The trope of a good man, with experience, skill, and social standing, selflessly assisting the heroine, is quite common in Gothic romance.

Jack's words to Furiosa are never paternalistic. They speak to one another as equals. Dementus wanted to shape Furiosa in his own image, but Jack only wants to pass on what he knows. He doesn't want her to stay his protégé or sidekick. He wants her to be able to take care of herself. Until she asks him to come with her, he has every intention of letting her go her own way, leaving him behind.

Jack never comments on Furiosa's appearance. They dress as equals. Immortan Joe put Furiosa in delicate fabrics and planned to use her body for his own selfish desires, but Jack only ever touches Furiosa for her own sake. He doesn't want to possess her. He wants to protect her. He cleans and stitches up her wounds. He will place a comforting hand on her shoulder, only for as long as it takes for her to relax beneath his touch.

It's important to remember that this is a thematic tale being told to us by a History Man, a framing device which is extremely befitting of the Gothic genre. Within this legend, Jack and Furiosa's disregard for clearly defined domestic roles draws a stark contrast to the priorities of Dementus and Immortan Joe. It serves to highlight that their dynamic is free from patriarchal dominance. Whether their relationship is sexual or platonic, romantic or familial, is irrelevent. What matters is that their relationship is based upon genuine concern, deep respect, and unwavering trust. This is the lesson of their story, and it is a lesson for all to the hear. Jack does not merely represent a good father or a good husband or a good mentor. He represents it all. His character is fluid and multi-dimensional. His relationship with Furiosa is ever-shifting and all-encompassing. This allows him to be a role model to all men. But I digress from talking about Gothic fiction!

True domestic happiness for the Gothic romance heroine is only possible once she finds a companion who treats her as a peer; a social equal who gives her the freedom to choose and define the role she wishes to have in his life. It also requires finding or creating a refuge in which the heroine is safe from male power and violence. Furiosa found a more than worthy partner in Jack. Unfortunately, they didn't succeed in reaching freedom together.

Perhaps, in a less Gothic setting than the Wasteland, putting a name to what they were wouldn't have mattered so much. As it was, "my Jack" and "my Fury" was enough.

[polaris-likethestar]

guysss i finished my fic for agatha and rio after tonights episode (also published it on my ao3)

<3<3<3<3<3<3

Rio Vidal was a lot of things. She was angry, she was flirty, she was deadly, she was funny, she was dangerous. She was all that and more. She was good and she was bad. She was kind and she was mean. But she was, above all, a traitor. Maybe no one said it to her face. But everyone thought it. Well, maybe not everyone. But the only person who really counted thought it. The only person who knew her past her reputation, past the way she was, the things she did. The only person who was just as weird and psycho. The only person who knew every bad thing she had done and loved her anyways had believed her to be a traitor. And that was more than enough for Rio to believe it.

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑨𝒔 𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒔 𝒊𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒔𝒕 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒂 𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒌, 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝑨 𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒊𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒊𝒄𝒌, 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒂𝒈𝒆-𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆

Rio didn't want it to end like this. She was happy before. They were. Her and Agatha. Together.

They met about three centuries ago. A long time for anyone yet it felt like yesterday. Rio hadn't met a witch in a long time, no, not after escaping her town - who could blame her really? The witches there, her own family, were toxic and belittled Rio. Come to think of it, they probably considered her a traitor, but that didn't really matter. She couldn't care less about their perception of her. She saw Agatha one day in the woods. They started talking. One thing led to another, which led to another, which led to another. You get the idea.

Rio wasn't looking for anything permanent, not really, but she related to Agatha so much. They both came from families that hated them, although Agatha was convinced she could never leave, she never would leave, which Rio was very much against, but whatever, if it made her happy, she was okay with that. That was the other thing. The "i want you to be happy" thing. Rio never felt that before. She knew it was the same with Agatha. They were both insanely selfish, rude, and willing to do whatever to get what they want. But with each other it was different. Instead of willing to betray someone for her own happiness, Rio was willing to betray someone for both of their happinesses.

But sometimes sacrifices have to be made. When you have a job to do, it has to get done. No matter how bad it hurts

𝑰 𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒍𝒂𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒂𝒅 𝑰 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒉, 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝑰'𝒎 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏, 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒈𝒂𝒊𝒏

They were finally happy together. They were both extremely power hungry, sure, but hey, they were happy. But still. They needed more. And the dakrhold? Well, that was definitely more.

They needed the darkhold.

Agatha made a plan to go down the witches road with a coven and have Rio take the coven along the way, one by one. Rio was against it at first. Wanted to come with her. Even if it was Rio's job to take the bodies, to kill them, there was no guarantee that Agatha would be safe. Rio doesn't just kill whoever she wants, if it's their time, it's their time. Agatha wouldn't understand that. How could she? It's not like this power, whether it be a blessing or a burden, was in Agatha's hands. Agatha always wanted Rio to kill this person, kill that person. Rio wanted to, every time she wanted to. It's not like she was a good person. But it wasn't in her control.

So they got into a fight. Agatha went down the road. Rio was scared, insanely scared. She didn't want to lose Agatha, not without saying goodbye. But Agatha made it. Of course she did, she always does. She's just like that. And, along with her, came the darkhold. As well as the death of the other witches. Naturally, Agatha's mother was against this. Of course she was, Rio knew that. The small part of her that was okay with the plan realized that Agatha would most likely be cast out. They would be free. But once again Agatha was faced with death - because what Rio never expected was for Agatha's mother and her coven to attempt to kill her.

Rio felt stupid, scared, she had just gotten Agatha back, and here she was, about to lose her again.

Until Agatha killed them all.

And if Rio wouldn't be lying if some part of her didn't find that at least a little bit attractive.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝑱𝒐𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒅 𝑳𝒂𝒚 𝒐𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚

Then the worst of it happened. Because even when you're whole schtick is being able to live forever while everyone around you dies, good things don't seem to last forever.

Because Agatha had a son. His name was Nicholas. Rio loved and adored him. What was once two of them, was now three of them. Rio never wanted anything bad to happen to him, she really didn't. But like she explained to Agatha so many times before, it wasn't her choice. This time, that conversation wasn't going to go so well.

And it didn't. Rio tried to prepare herself for whatever was going to happen, she really did, but nothing could have gotten her ready for the things Agatha said. She called her selfish, as if she wasn't the same way herself. She called her narcissistic. Agatha said Rio tricked her into killing her mom, leaving her town. That Rio never really loved her and just used her to hurt her because all Rio knew how to do was hurt people. That last part wasn't so far from the truth, Rio thought. Not the Rio never really loved her part, no, she loved Agatha more than she loved herself, but the only knowing how to hurt people. It had always been true for everyone before Agatha. It's not like Agatha was any different, no matter how much Rio wanted her to be, she was ultimately just another person Rio would end up hurting, eventually killing.

Agatha kicked her out. Of course she did. Rio would have done the same. She still remembers Agatha standing there, crying, screaming, Rio apologizing and apologizing, sobbing, on the floor, voice hoarse from all the fighting, scratches on both their bodies from the pushing and the shoving and the hitting and everything. It was like a dream, a really bad one. Everything was hazy and didn't feel real, but it was real, it was too real, too real for Rio's liking. Eventually she had to leave though. It was only fair to Agatha. As she left what used to be their house, she turned around to say something, anything, as if maybe Agatha changed her mind, maybe Rio could say something worth listening to, that she could somehow make Agatha forgive her for taking away her only child. But no, Rio didn't say anything, she just stared, tears streaming down her face, as Agatha walked up and slammed to door in her face, but not before saying "I hate you."

Rio cried for days, weeks, months, maybe even years, she wasn't sure. She found places to stay, jobs to take, moved around every couple of years or so. Nothing ever felt the same not really. Tried relationships, committed and casual, nothing ever worked for her, nothing ever came close. It wasn't the same. It would never be the same.

She wallowed in self-pity, sobbing day and night, until she ran out of tears to cry. She gave up. What was the use anyways? There was none.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒈𝒐𝒆𝒔 𝑰 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌 𝒊𝒏 𝒄𝒐𝒅𝒆 𝑯𝒐𝒑𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕, 𝒘𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝑰'𝒎 𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒚

Rio missed Agatha. She always did. So, hugging her again for the first time, something she never thought she'd ever get the chance to do, made her feel a lot of things. That almost kiss made her feel a lot of things, too. She had her chance. To get it back, to get her back. But when she saw the way Agatha looked at Teen, whether she truly thought that he was Nicholas or if she just wanted to think that, it made her realize how much damage she did. She couldn't give Agatha false hope. She couldn't do that to her, she wouldn't. She deserved better. Better than the girl who took away her son. Better than the girl who broke her heart.

"Agatha." Rio pulled away. "That boy isn't yours."

And so Agatha left. And Rio let her. Because after all, she was everything Agatha said she was. Rio was selfish. Rio was narcissistic. Rio was death.

And well, who would be foolish enough to fall in love with death?

[irenethewoman]

Mrs. Shelby - Chapter 13 - Proposal

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In January 1922, Birmingham, the Garrison Pub was bombed. The surroundings plunged into darkness, and the heat from the explosion was extinguished by the drizzling rain. The wind stirred the black veil in front of me, carrying the scent of the bar.

Tommy managed to dismiss the police with the excuse of a gas explosion and some pounds. Polly found some scraps of paper at the entrance.

Green… Ireland…

I frowned, thinking that Finn had become a thing of the past.

"You're going back to London today. I'll have John escort you."

"I'm not leaving. As you said, it's dangerous in London for the Shelby family."

I couldn't leave. I couldn't turn a blind eye to the unknown dangers my little prince would face. And if they dared to bomb the Garrison Pub, why wouldn't they dare for the Shelby mansion?

"Go out without revealing your face, avoid betting stations, avoid dealing with the police, don't disclose your name, use a fake name, and don't flaunt wealth," Tommy instructed before leaving, and I responded adeptly. "Don't worry, little prince."

I adjusted his collar and kissed his lips, speaking a coded language only we understood. "Stay safe, Tommy."

Watching his back, I suddenly felt like an ordinary but loving old couple. After breakfast, a wife bidding farewell to her husband before he left for work.

Then I stayed at home, taking care of the children with Esme. Maria was still the sensible girl who made my heart ache. She got along well with Esme, but I could feel she was more attached to and dependent on me. I understood her; even if a teenager could accept it intellectually, there would still be resistance to a young stepmother—that's why I resisted my father's remarriage at the age of 13, taking on the responsibilities of a lady of the house.

I talked to Thomas about taking Maria to London for a while when things calmed down. She was too tense, much more mature and sensible than Finn, more like an adult. In the mansion, she could be carefree like her peers on King's Road.

"You like your daughter so much… why don't we have one ourselves?" After hearing this, Tommy raised an eyebrow, saying something contradictory.

"You liked John's previous wife, didn't you?" Esme interrupted my contemplation.

I looked at Esme strangely. Even though we both considered me a member of the Shelby family, whether I liked or preferred one over the other… did it matter?

"Yes, Martha was a good person. She was one of the kindest people I've ever met. But I would also like every wife of John and Arthur—as long as they don't betray Tommy or the Shelby name," I answered truthfully.

I thought she heard some gossip, felt that John loved her less than his deceased wife, and added another sentence of advice. "The deceased have passed; never compare yourself to them. You and John have a long future ahead."

She looked at me in silence for a long time. "You really seem like the mistress of a household."

Would she say I seemed more like a politician's wife? My father used to say that before he died.

"Thomas must be eager to marry you. Young, beautiful, wealthy, and many suitors. Even if you chose him, I think he would still feel…"

"What are you trying to say?"

As she spoke, I walked to the opposite side of her and faced her.

She chuckled, as if surprised by my quick reaction. "Thomas expanded to the south for you."

…Oh, I see, she didn't want to expand to the south. Or rather, she was dissatisfied with it.

"Esme, if you have something to say, say it to me, not to others—whether it's Tommy, Polly, or John."

I leaned down, looking into her eyes. I was a head taller, and she was still sitting, so if I leaned down, she would be covered in my shadow. "I don't want you to talk nonsense to anyone, anyone—whether it's Tommy, Polly, or John."

She looked at me in silence for a long time.

"You do look like a mistress of a household."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?" I thought she might say I looked more like a politician's wife—my father used to say that before he died.

"Thomas must be eager to marry you. Young, beautiful, wealthy, and many suitors. Even if you chose him, I think he would still feel…"

"What are you trying to say?"

As she spoke, I walked to the opposite side of her and faced her.

She chuckled, as if surprised by my quick reaction. "Thomas expanded to the south for you."

…Oh, I see, she didn't want to expand to the south. Or rather, she was dissatisfied with it.

"Esme, if you have something to say, say it to me, not to others—whether it's Tommy, Polly, or John."

I leaned down, looking into her eyes. I was a head taller, and she was still sitting, so if I leaned down, she would be covered in my shadow. "I don't want you to talk nonsense to anyone, anyone—whether it's Tommy, Polly, or John."

She looked at me in silence for a long time.

"You do look like a mistress of a household."

This is John's wife; I can't be too harsh in my words. I tell myself that I'm just pulling her along, hoping she understands. The expansion of Shelby Limited to London is not just because its big boss, Thomas, wants to marry me, the Baroness from London. It's also because London is a bigger market, a fatter piece of meat. We can earn more money, make better connections, and leave this muddy place. We are no longer street thugs in the slums; we are a company!

"Do you know what this is in the army? Undermining morale—a capital offense."

Before the family meeting, Tommy and I found some time in the bedroom. Afterward, we discussed the confusing situation.

While talking to him, I nestled in bed, massaging his shoulders. I omitted the conversation with Esme; I hope she figures it out herself. Heading south to London, we are bound to succeed.

"Did those Irishmen approach you for a job? Or even kidnap you!" I frowned. We've always kept to our own, so why?

"Our old friend has risen in rank. Still in charge of Irish affairs." He held my hand and turned his head. "Inspector Campbell…"

"So, they're working together."

This is dangerous; Campbell is a ruthless politician, utterly unscrupulous. Cooperating with him requires careful consideration, or it could end in disaster.

And… Campbell is directly subordinate to Churchill, Mr. Churchill, who has been the Minister of Colonial Affairs and also the Air Minister since last year, initiating negotiations with the Irish Sinn Féin party. It's hard to say whether what we're facing is part of a higher-level arrangement.

"Mr. Churchill sent me a telegram," I leaned on his shoulder, embracing his strong waist, "inviting me to lunch at the Leeds Hotel. The day after tomorrow."

"I'm heading back tomorrow, Tommy." I lay on his lap, lazily saying.

"Who else but a Londoner?"

When I entered the meeting room with Tommy, Esme and John were very excited, somewhat angry. It seemed they easily saw through the truth, while the rest of us turned a blind eye.

"This is a company that advocates gender equality." Tommy said. —Well, Tommy and I are quite equal, except for what happened just now on the bed.

John looked at me, trying to find Tommy's true feelings from my face. I lowered my eyes, just quietly pouring myself a glass of whiskey.

John was overly worried. Even if Esme repeated the nonsense she told me that day, Tommy wouldn't fall for her.

"I have no blood ties to this family. But perhaps, precisely because I am not one of them, I can see things from a different perspective. So let me get straight to the point. As my husband said, Shelby Limited is now developing very successfully. But London… I have relatives in Shepherd's Bush and Paddington, where it's more like a war between armies, with the police involved. There are all sorts of foreigners using bombs, nothing unusual. I have a child, fortunate to inherit the beauty of the Shelby family. I hope John can see him grow up, and I hope that one day, we can live in a place with fresh air and lush trees, raising chickens or something. But London only has smog and trouble, Thomas." She glanced at me, "Oh, and your beauty."

… I knew it. In her heart, Thomas is a selfish, arrogant devil. She really can't compare to Martha.

I handed Tommy the glass in my hand. Lower the fire; I signaled with my eyes.

He tilted his head back, finishing the remaining liquid in the glass.

"First, the pub explosion has nothing to do with London. I will handle the explosion on my own. Secondly, as long as we stay united, there's no need to worry about this business expansion plan. As long as we endure the first few weeks, 90% of our business in London will become legal, and the remaining 10% will be managed by insiders, right, Arthur?"

Now, some people present expressed their reservations. That's good. If any of you do not want to be part of the company's future, please leave through that door immediately. Go feed your chickens. As for those ambitious ones, the expansion process will begin tomorrow."

"Polly's son and daughter?"

Why so sudden…

"I'll keep an eye on it." I nodded at Esme, "If possible, I hope you can inform Tommy again."

"So, goodbye." I hugged Maria's shoulder and walked out on the road back to London.

"Why don't we go with Dad and the others?" Maria, visiting London for the first time, was very excited and a bit nervous.

"Because Tommy's car is too small, and we can't fit." And I wouldn't allow my luggage and a corpse to be together.

"All right, my dear girl. This is a vacation." I embraced her.

"Let's go home first, leave the luggage, and then I'll take you to eat Italian food. After dinner, if you want, we can go to Harrods."

I watched her face light up with a dreamy smile. It's good; she finally looks like a child.

When Tommy and the others opened the back door of 10 King's Road, I heard a noise.

He came again, Tommy Shelby…

Maria, visiting London for the first time, was excited and full of energy. I accompanied her for a day, and now I'm tired and sleepy, but still very happy as we walk from the living room to the staircase. I look at John and Arthur, who are staring at the paintings on the wall and the Chinese porcelain on the cabinet. Their curious expressions make me unable to help but laugh.

"Welcome to the Turner Mansion, boys."

Tommy smoothly brushes past his brothers and walks into my bedroom.

"How did it go?" I help Tommy undress, unable to stifle a yawn. "Sorry, I'm so tired. You guys came too late."

"Maria must have worn you out." After changing into the sleepwear I prepared in advance, Tommy lies down with me on the bed.

"It was a good day," he says, veering off topic.

"It's not all good." Hearing him say this, my heart tightens, and I reach out to check if he's injured.

He grabs my hand, only slowly continuing the next sentence, "Arthur lost a tooth."

"…"

Seeing me in a dazed silence, Tommy laughs like a mischievous child who has succeeded in a prank.

"I want to hire Lizzie Stark as a secretary. Today is a good sign." Tommy kisses me. "I need someone who can turn a blind eye occasionally."

"If she can type and do math, sure." I give him a strange look. I did tell him that I want him to share everything with me, but that doesn't include the choice of his secretary.

"As long as Mrs. Shelby doesn't mind."

I immerse myself in his blue eyes. Mrs. Shelby… what a nice title.

"Mr. Shelby, if you want to win a Baroness, it's not just about the body." I lazily extend my finger, circling it on his chest. "You need a ring to prove your intentions and let all the young people in London know that they've lost, the Baroness has a fiancé."

I'm not short of jewelry.

My mother left me a lot of jewelry, and I also inherited a lot of pounds. Occasionally, I buy some new ones, and those suitors would occasionally spend a lot of money buying good jewelry to please me. But what Tommy gave is different.

"Close your eyes." He coaxes gently.

Before closing my eyes, I see him smile. Tommy's smile is really handsome. Those blue eyes are as gentle as the sky in spring, and this person has softened a lot—the most important thing is, only I have seen this kind of Thomas Shelby.

He should be going to find his clothes and then coming back.

"Open your eyes, Lady Baron."

I saw him holding a deep blue velvet jewelry box. Inside was a sapphire diamond ring. A large sapphire, as clear as Tommy's eyes.

I was stunned; this completely exceeded my imagination. It wasn't until Tommy put the ring on my hand that I realized—it's almost like it was custom-made for my hand!

"…So, you had it prepared in advance?" Clearly, a man who already has jewelry and has won the heart of a woman with jewelry, but why do I always feel like he's turning the tables on me? I still know about Shelby Company's development. This ring looks expensive at first glance. This spendthrift, he only knows how to act up when there's no secretary—but why am I so happy?

"My dear Baroness, you now also have a fiancé."

"So, is this your way of proposing?" I still lovingly gaze at the sparkling ring on my hand.

No flowers, no champagne, no luxurious ballroom, no cheering crowd—just a large diamond ring and my lover… honestly, I'm satisfied.

"Think it's too simple?" Tommy leans on the bed, lazily asking.

"No…" I turn back and kiss his cheek. "Just right."

"I'll be the happiest bride in the world."

[thequietesthing]

THE WITCHER SEASON 3 VOLUME I - REVIEW

SPOILERS AHEAD

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

Okay so this season felt different than the previous two, maybe for the best. I am not that into the original witcher lore (books and games) that i’m that fixated on canon events so i’ll just judge what i’ve seen on screen.

Geralt: my darling mr. Cavill you are the brightest light in this show, I don't think that anyone will be able to understand and portrait Gerald better than you. Now said that, I don't think Geralt has been very Geralt-y this season (pls don't kill me for saying this). Yes, he should have changed by the power of love and family but they didn't show it. I assume that this magical transformation, that has started in season 2, should have continued and evolved in the 6 months in which Geralt, Yennefer and Ciri live together, of which we see incredibly little. Yes, the letters (very nice touch btw), yes the nice dinners together and Yen's grovelling but not very much on how this affects Geralt intrinsically. So we end up six months later that he is a mostly changed man, and good for him but I wish we could have seen more of a development. Also this season, now that we have finally placed all of our pieces on the board, inevitably focuses less on Geralt and his moods and adventures and more on the general plotting of the entire cast. Also they didn't give my man enough monsters to hunt (maybe the budget was cut seeing how many actors they had to pay). However I loved when he went to Annika's house and the moment when he recounted his childhood and the relationship with Visenna; I feel that in that moment the true talent and acting ability of Henry came through. I thoroughly enjoyed how uncomfortable he was at the mages ball; he's always so put together and firm that it was extremely funny seeing him a bit out of his depth. Anyway as long as it's played by Henry Cavill, Geralt will be always a 10/10 for me.

Yennefer: Contrary to common opinion I liked Yennefer last season. Yes she was selfish, yes she's willing to sacrifice Ciri and betray Geralt to get her magic back, but people don't seem to understand where she's coming from, and I think that a bit of explanation is given in this first part of the third season, through conversations that she both has with Ciri and Tissaia; this is not the place to write an entire apology of Yennefer but the core is this: to her, before, magic was everything; she was mistreated as a child, she never felt in control of her life, and the only way she found her way out of that was through her magic, of the power that she discovered within herself that helped her to finally stop feeling like a nuisance, to finally matter. Once she meet Ciri and she gets to know her however her priority shifts (as often happens with motherhood) and she finds out that she doesn't care whether she is powerful or not, as long as her child is safe. Now, with this out of the way, I loved Yennefer this season (as always). Anya Chalotra has grown so much into herself and her acting in these three seasons and it shows. Her relationship with Ciri is just beautiful (I was skeptical about it before because of the close age between the actresses but they embodied the mother-daughter bond perfectly), her and Geralt will never not be my favourite (I wish they had more scenes tho) and her and Jaskier are hilarious (also, more scenes pls!); but what I found very fascinating about Yennefer is the relationship she has with the other mages, of which we have always seen stunningly few. I found interesting the accusation Ciri moved to her when they were in that spa(?) to which Yennefer responds that that is the version of herself she "needs" to be around those people (strong, uncaring, playing the centuries old politics game of saying one thing and meaning another), and I really liked that because before Ciri was only "coddled" by witchers who are authentic and never had the need to play politics because they stay well away from them. Digression aside, Yennefer with other mages was really nice to watch, how she plays in the duality of who she is and who she needs to be and how she doesn't trust anyone between her peers, only Tissaia that has assumed a kind of a mother role for her. So, long story short, I love Yen and I always will.

Ciri: this poor girl has been through so much. Everyone wants her and she doesn't know what to do with herself. I felt like in this part of the season things just have been happening to her, rather than her having an active role (being dragged around the whole Continent like a package by a Witcher and a mage certainly didn't help) but it seems so me like her developing story and the general plot are going at two entirely different paces: she's still unsure of what to do, of her magical training, while the rest of the story feels almost like is at it's end and she's still there. Anyway, other than her most obvious relationships (Geralt and Yennefer) I liked her relationship with Jaskier this season; he's very protective of her and they act like he's a young uncle with his niece. Also I liked how her spending a lot of time with Yen and Geralt is starting to filter through her character, as she has become a sassy, brave, curious, know-it-all, but still she sometimes acts impulsively or foolishly as apt for her age.

Jaskier: We see him for more than 3 episodes! I would count this as a win already. I genuinely like Jaskier, I feel like he's always been the most relatable and funny character, and this season is no exception. I think Joey Batey is a comedic genius and his acting, and singing, skills are really unparalleled. I loved his journey with Radovid (who to be honest I didn't like at first, even though he is played by Hugh Skinner), they are very cute, especially their scene before the kiss, I was like awwww. Also Jaskier rivalry with Valdo Marxx is iconic, when they meet on the ship and he has a whole band backing him up and Jaskier only has Geralt and Ciri, it was really funny. Also finally Jaskier gets some well deserved love from Geralt, after 3 seasons he calls him "Jask" ♡.♡ (man, our standards are low)

Anyway, you'll forgive me but I'll give a rapid view of all the other characters because otherwise we'll be here all day.

Francesca's role this season has been practically null, other than making the final alliance with Nilfgaard she's going after Ciri (like everyone) and we did not see any repercussion or regret for the murder of hundreds of babies which had me like... ok.... Fringilla is freaking hilarious but I have also not understand her point in the story for now Cahir goes back to his murderous master after killing his elf friend, but I still like him; I think the actor is jumping through hoops trying to show us the duality of this character and how what he does actually affects him Emhyr, other than scheming and burning family pictures he seems to be doing nothing else (for now) Triss is the smartest in the freaking room, also the only one who cares about those poor girls! Everyone is like Ciri,Ciri all the time and she's like what about those poor vanished girls, I love her, but please don't let her have a romance with Istredd, who still after 3 season is going after that freaking Book of Monoliths; I hope that now that he's found it he will find peace and a good barber Tissaia and Vilgefortz I don't trust either of them, even though at the end of this part we find that is the latter and not Stregobor to have taken the girls, and if I'm honest until that scene I believed that "the woman with the funny voice" was Tissaia; also Vilgefortz is also leading on that poor Lydia... nope don't like the man Philippa Eilhart is a legend, didn't like her at first but she's smart as a whip and I think she's playing Dijkstra like a violin (also if they don't show the creation of the Lodge of Sorceresses I'll riot)

One more thing before I shut up, just a quick thought on the last episode: the idea was very well thought, to switch up the linearity of narration by including some back and forth between before and after as Yennefer and Geralt recount the night's event to each other and us (a bit Ocean's 11 style) but the execution.... I didn't particularly enjoy how it was done; maybe I need to see it again but while the change of camera angles through the same scenes helped (so that except for two moments maybe, we heard the same lines but the cameras were in different positions) it felt very repetitive and stagnant. The only positive thing was the music!! That fucking song is now stuck in my head forever: all is not *thud thud* as it seems *thud thud*, stuck all night in my head, anyway also very appropriate lyrics lol.

Ok, I think I'm done(?) I'm sure I've missed something but if it comes to mind I'll edit it in later

[fairytail-whathesays]

I can't tell whether you're intrigued in a positive way or completely vexed, so I'll just apologize just in case before going in depth. I also apologize for the length. I'm so sorry dude, this got out of hand enough to break it in two parts. Btw, I'm using Raijinshuu to refer to Laxus too, as clarification.

So. To begin with, I think Oracion Seis and the Raijinshuu would get along well for a myriad of reasons. For starters, Erik would definitely like Laxus, and respect both him and the Raijinshuu in terms of the way they're wary, and you have to earn their trust, because they're protective. They want to make sure the people they care about are safe above all else. And that's something he can also relate to on a personal level. But anyway, you *know* your way around those two so.

Plus the overlap of daddy issues between Laxus, Erik and Macbeth. Trusting blindly (and ending up with slight trust issues). Wanting to please someone who would never love you to earn their approval, bending yourself backwards for that purpose, finding out the hard way that no matter how much you believe you can do it, it'll never happen (He's not someone to trust, he'll stab you in the back despite saying he saved you and loved you. No matter how strong you are, you're still a pawn, and you don't share his vision deep down. He'll abandon you if you don't excel at every turn, and you know it). Having a father who's willing to implant a whole magical device on you to make you stronger, and a father who would sooner throw you away than have you be weak. Having to live with the things you did for that approval. Having to pick yourself together and move forward after someone who was supposed to protect you was the one to hurt you.

On top of that, having one of them approve of someone is grounds for the others to be open to meet that someone (and not just to make sure that they're not in bad company). They would also massively respect Laxus for calling Jellal out on his bs.

The loyalty to a guild you consider family is something the other's would also understand on a personal level, even if Brain's manipulation and betrayal leaves a bitter taste sometimes, without him, they become even closer, and more fiercely protective of each other.

There's also the Bickslow factor. Bickslow, who can see the very souls of people, who knew about Loke but expertly kept his mouth shut and asked "what? Like it's hard?". I don't know, I feel that discretion and respect for their privacy would go a long way. He's also a raging, confident extrovert. Meaning, there's someone who would easily take the first step.

You have the more or less distinct groups of quiet (Laxus, Freed, Macbeth and Erik), and loud (Bickslow, Ever, Sawyer, Sorano when she swings by), with the subgroup of "please don't murder anyone" that the girls would make. Those two would hate each other on principle. They would love each other. They would go shopping together and find the best dresses in town. They would plan a murder together. They could get away with said murder. They could puppy-eye their way into making the boys do whatever they wanted or get away with scolding them. They would wipe the floor with Gray and Natsu in terms of competitiveness. They would be iconic. And a headache half of the time. The boys could bond over the "I want to strangle her, but if someone dares look at her the wrong way...". That's not to say, of course, that the Loud Ones and the Quiet Ones wouldn't get along, clearly. The quiet talks? The moments when they all join in the fun? The moments when it's neither, and both, chatting all together on a nice afternoon? Yeah.

There's the bonding over taking bad decisions (although some a little worse). And being willing to do what it takes (Erik killing Brain, what happened with Rustyrose (did they kill him? Did they not? It was really unclear)). And being accepted after massive fuck ups by the people they directly affected and how unnerving it can be. Being able to understand each other's shitty pasts despite all the differences too.

Not to mention, I believe that they would be pretty comfortable in Fairy Tail if Laxus was master/The Raijinshuu would make them feel far more comfortable in the middle of the raging chaos.

OS not batting an eye when the Raijin decide on doing something morally questionable because ah, yes, sounds reasonable. The Raijinshuu not judging them for the things they're still atoning for, nor the initial conclusions they reach both in course of action (that they have to stop themselves from carrying out sometimes) or the conclusions they draw after interacting with someone sometimes.

Of course, Richard very much approves of this new development. Even if he only swings by every now and then to visit, focusing on traveling with his brother first, he makes sure to check everything is going smoothly, and quietly thanks Laxus for giving them this chance, whether it's to be in the guild at all or just for the company.

On a more specific note, the safety Laxus exudes? That would be grounding, just to pick one word among the many. Knowing that he can actually sleep and know that no one would disturb him because Laxus would make sure no one plays a prank or throws something on the direction of someone who's not only defenseless by product of being asleep, but also hasn't given that type of liberty to anyone outside his inner circle in a pretty clear way. With his siblings/guildmates (not 100% sure which one you prefer), sure, whatever, after so many years he might as well return the favor while at it, they know each other's limits. But someone he doesn't know? While also not knowing how to conduct himself in regular society? (slavery + dark guild + jail + Crime Sorciere do not prepare you for just how much you can chew out a guy for trying to doodle on your face, does it?) Not a good combo. And how that would increase the closer they are? Being able to rest calmly at the guild? Without feeling the need to remain at least slightly vigilant and maintain a magic shield (except on bad days)? The massive show of trust it would be to let himself fall asleep instead of waiting to pass out from exhaustion to avoid the intrusive thoughts and, hopefully, the nightmares.

Figuring out that he can return the favor by bending the sound waves away and creating a little barrier for Laxus before the noise of 50+ people in the same place overstimulates him? Keeping an eye out or making sure that Laxus cab still hear the muffled sounds in case he needs to step in. Finding the small ways he can return the favor, like shielding them all from view when the reporters come knocking if they don't want to be disturbed. If they ever ride a train together, he would go as far as to try and find a way to ground Laxus, and ease the nausea, both to prove he can and to give back some of what Laxus unknowingly gave him.

Being left alone and finding that they do, in fact, get along really well and can hold long conversations even without someone else to function as a bridge, or comfortable silences that feel adequately like hanging out instead of just existing in the same space.

Watching Macbeth and Freed go over stashes of papers and research that Brain had hidden away for hours on end vs watching Laxus and Erik throw hands while sparring.

The mutual respect slowly building through small gestures, displays of power on missions and the way they care for those around them, so different yet so similar. Laxus seeing different sides of Macbeth when he manages to call off Sorano from acting like a jealous older sister about him hanging out with Laxus of Freed before she even gets started, or shutting Sawyer up before he tries to argue in favor of doing something stupid. Being allowed to see the lowest moments, when he's almost neurotic about how he could have done so much more for the others if he hadn't been so self absorbed, how guilty he feels about not sharing what he knew, not so deep down, about Brain, about being the one who led them to do a lot of awful things, how he was supposed to lead and protect them due to being the unspoken second in command and did the opposite. Laxus even sharing some night what happened at festival and how, even if they did it out of their free will, he almost convinced his best friends to follow him down a darker path than they were already walking on.

They would be the punk-ish conservatory kid that usually doesn't even share what non-classical music he listens to because he's too afraid of being punished for it + the confident guy who would rock his world without even trying, by just being himself, and that breaks the shield enough to bring forth the conservatory kid's full, inhibited charm, because confidence looks oddly sexy on him. I went through old asks because this is admittedly a recently developed ship for me, and I struggle a bit with Laxus' characterization, but let me bring up the Ivan debate and comment: Macbeth would understand that feeling to a T. Even if he was more aware that Brain was Like That, he still has conflicted feelings. He still wanted to earn that love up until the last minute and had to be all but forced to let go. Even if he agreed with Erik on getting rid of the man, he still looks sorrowful, and looks back at the corpse when everyone else has accepted Erik's word and moved on (and stashed the entire even on the "to process later" bottle). I feel like I'm leaving a thousand things out, but... This is what I have to offer at the moment.

I'm glad I asked, this is a lot different than what I was imagining. I had very specific ideas about Midnight/Macbeth and how he'd love and if it would even be possible.

Answering these requests may take me some time since I'm working so late the next few days, but rest assured I'm working on them.

[alyjojo]

Family Ties ⛪️ - May 2024 - Virgo

Overall Energy: Death

Death, The Tower rev, Justice, and The Hanged Man clarifying…whew. You’ve been through it 💯 All of these being major arcana shows a very intense period of time, most of which you probably haven’t had much control over, and much of which is destined on some level. Or karmic Justice. Probably for other people - and maybe you on some level. The Hanged Man is showing what this has done to you. In most decks, the man places himself on the Tree of Life in order to gain some perspective and wisdom. In this deck, he’s bound to the tree with rope, he definitely didn’t tie his own hands behind his back…and a crowd below him jeers at his plight. Not very peaceful, and definitely hard to gain perspective in the thick of that experience. This is telling you that whatever has ended, whatever is changing in your world, it IS for your protection, and things *will* balance out exactly how they’re supposed to. Justice ⚖️ Does it feel that way now, pffft no.

I see you clearly being validated with this Hanged Man, 7 Wands at the bottom, and 5 Wands in the ancestor messages - fk what other people think or say about what you’re doing, they don’t get to decide. Argumentative people to the left, you don’t have to give them space to care, and you don’t have to fight back. In fact, you shouldn’t. The Hanged Man can also show an energy of surrender, and that there is no fight - there’s not much you can do regarding other people’s problems, which some of these are, even if they affect you too.

Mother: King of Pentacles rev & 8 Swords rev

Oracle: Originality 💡 - Mercury Aquarius

50 Sacred Space

Use beautiful art, music, and creativity of all kinds to put you into a sacred space.

For some, Mom is just a creative type - she’s not into this materialism-based society and could give af less about things like status symbols and career titles. It would be being shown that she did that once and let it go, it’s not for her, could be a stay at home parent or have a job at home somehow - especially in a creative field. If not that, then she may have faced a very difficult ending, losing a long-time job - completely out of her control. Being laid off a few years before retirement. I’m seeing a house fire or wildfire for someone - that’s not a prediction it would be known and past energy by now. Losing what feels like *everything* she had worked so hard to build - specifically on her - if her and Dad are still together, some are. If not, it could be Dad she lost, and her whole life was uprooted and thrown to the wolves 💯 Still, she is very creative, resourceful, and…humble. I’m not getting defensive, or sadness, though it may have existed. There’s an energy of acceptance, and “what comes next”, very practical energy with an air of spiritual even if she’s not. Little things matter to her; she’s the type that would treasure a cup you painted for her for the rest of her life, but not care about owning a home, or whether she has the most updated phone. She might not even have a phone - there’s an off-grid vibe about her. She always has an eye to the future, but I’m not seeing solutions specifically…just a lot of thinking. Trying to figure out what’s right for her, moving forward. If not her, she’s heavily involved in the situation you’re in, you may have lost a job, had to move homes, she may not be the most well-off person either but she provides you with a “safe space” - is how I heard it, more than “sacred”. No judgment whatsoever from Mom, she’s either trying to help you figure it out or doing that herself.

Father: 10 Pentacles & Ace of Cups

Oracle: Intuition 🔮 - Mercury Cancer

Loss 😞 - Saturn Pisces

27 Pause

Accept that you must wait and prepare for developments to reach the next stage.

It’s possible Dad left and is part of a whole new family now, re-married, maybe having other children with the new person. It’s not the main story but it’s here for someone. His actions may have been impulsive, reckless, it probably happened some time ago. This would be a personality of someone who doesn’t really do shit for the original family but goes all out for the new one. It would make sense that you and Mom are forced to accept and surrender to this behavior…what could you do? Intuitively, he knows what he’s done, but it hasn’t really sunk in and won’t for some time. It will someday though, you can bet on that. Karma. If this is all past stuff, it may be right now that he’s waking up to his own actions, with Saturn Pisces being highlighted - and current.

For most, I feel like your parents are together still, and Dad is just very accepting of whatever is going on with Mom (or you). I keep hearing it’s no one’s fault, nothing could be done. A job wasn’t giving, wasn’t reciprocating, it was unreliable and temporary (unknown to whoever dealt with that). Things happen, and it’s okay. If anything, Dad may have faced some hard times in his own life, maybe his family did before, and he gets it - Saturn Pisces is giving empathetic, loving, generous energy, willing to do what he can in times of need. He knows he can control his own part of whatever is going on, and he chooses to cooperate and be supportive to Mom in whatever she does, whatever *she* values - is how I heard it. 10 Pentacles also shows he’s fine, at least on one side there isn’t complete destruction, he probably has a really good job. That’s why The Tower is rev - Dad steps up 💯 He also accepts that no situation is forever. If it’s your situation, same for you, there’s no judgment from Dad either, you’ve got supportive & loving people on your side. If he’s in, he’s all in, and if he’s not then he’ll learn…but probably too late to do anything about it.

Siblings: 10 Wands & Strength

Oracle: Speculation 👀 - Jupiter Cancer

Revenge 👺 - Mars Scorpio

39 Direction

Switch gears, reboot, and try a different direction.

Difficult energy here. Either your parents couldn’t have any more, or maybe just didn’t. If so, it’s something you’re pretty bitter about - or maybe just the circumstances involved. Secondly, again…Dad could have other kids other places, which just pisses you off and you have nothing to do with them. They have the perfect life and you are extremely vengeful at the unfairness of it all, totally fair and you’re being validated for that. Why are you vengeful, because you probably wouldn’t ever do that in the same situation. You’re loyal, but not to those people, and some are kids who have no freaking clue, you just wouldn’t be very close, if you speak at all.

The third possibility is a sibling that you just give up on, you don’t think they give a damn, or they make little to no effort to have anything to do with you & your life - so why would you bother getting involved with theirs? Is it vengeful, yes, do you have a point, also yes. They don’t want to be around - okay, fuck em, that’s basically what I’m seeing with that. The Fool and Direction show one/all of you have gone towards things that feel good to you - and it feels independently. Living your lives. I don’t see any indication that energy is wrong, maybe it’s supposed to be that way.

Grandparents: 8 Cups & 7 Swords

Oracle: Restlessness 🫨 - Mercury Aries

23 Secrets

Conceal plans and actions from those not ready to accept you as you are.

Ick. If Dad left, these would be his parents leaving too. Avoiding you, Mom, not wanting to “get involved”, protecting their own peace…not showing up for you whatsoever. It’s spineless, and self-interested, they’re only concerned with themselves. It’s possible they have unsavory things going on, I’m seeing jail - or rather avoiding someone out of jail. Someone that gets into real trouble, legal trouble, and they’re not the greatest person/people to be around - so you don’t. Or your family doesn’t, someone has cut the ties between you and a known liar/thief/shit disturber, and again I’m seeing this be validated and it’s for the best. Someone here can’t be trusted and either they’ve left, Dad did, or you have. Not missing anything here, and at the bottom there’s no possible change or progress either way that, they will always be this way.

Spiritual Ancestors/Guides: Ace of Wands & 5 Wands

Oracle: Detachment 🫥 - Venus Aquarius

14 Trust

Trust that you were born a creative being and have never stopped being one.

Somehow, this was all a gift. To you, to Mom, to whoever has felt pain and disappointment, whoever has dealt with this Tower rev and Justice. Immature behavior leads to betrayal and a painful ending - on whatever level it’s affecting you. But, it’s moving you where you need to go. I’m seeing this as AWAY from drama, conflict, competition, other people getting in your way of life. If there’s a lot of drama in the family it could be *the* thing that ends up determining your whole dang life path. Like “I can’t do this anymore!” and then bam, next week you’re joining the military and heading off to deploy across the world. Why I got military idk, not for everyone obv. It may be the very reason you choose what you choose, and *that* is the part that’s meant to be.

Especially if you have nothing to do with any of this, you didn’t create this situation nor did you ask for this bs; so why should you have to suffer the drama of it at all? Or if your parents are having a hard time with work/money, you could decide to do something to help them out. Maybe you moved homes during hard times and they’re driving you craaaaazy. Maybe the inner turmoil you have regarding Dad and the new family is what forces you in the direction you’re actually supposed to be going in. In some way, this is Justice, and I keep hearing “karmic” attached to it. This all seems divinely guided for your protection - and how that affects other people isn’t really your concern. The Hanged Man is sacrifice, and a lot of this isn’t even your problem. If it is then it is; and if not you need to detach from whatever you think “should” be, happen, how someone should pay, etc., and start noticing how things are changing with you. Alone. Hermit energy. The true ending I’m seeing here is the ending of a time you felt like loss, endings, abandonment perhaps, were the worst of everything - but I think that’s the perspective that’s changing. Or will.

[backtothestart02]

In the End, There Was Us - 6/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: Been a while.

...

Chapter 6 -

It was barely dawn the next day when Barry’s rented limo came up over the hill to the Thawne house two blocks away. Nora and Bart were asleep in the backseat, itch-free thanks to the solution they’d picked up at the shack before returning home.

The whole way there Barry was grateful his kids were safe with him, but he was worrying like crazy over Iris. He didn’t care if she had a whole platoon of cops surrounding her and repelling any further earthquakes until the end of time, be it before the end of the month or centuries from now, he was still going to worry about her. He was in love with her, and he was always going to want to protect her, whether he stuck his foot in his mouth in the process or not.

In just a few minutes he’d see her again. It would be brief though. It would hardly mean anything, except maybe to him. And Nora, at the very least, would be happy to be rid of him. Which he supposed was his own fault. Being a writer hadn’t exactly panned out for him, and he’d lost his family in the process. He’d have been better off throwing his pipe dream back at the man who inspired it and valuing what truly mattered.

But some things couldn’t be fixed.

“Okay, guys,” he said, a little louder than a whisper, craning his neck toward the backseat. “We’re almost home.”

Nora and Bart shifted slightly but didn’t say a word as they opened their little eyes and watched their neighborhood appear outside the window.

“Rise and shine.”

A few seconds later, he pulled to the side of the road and unlocked the doors, so they could push their way out.

“All right, you’re free.”

Barry stepped outside of the car and watched as his kids ran to her mother, who was looking frantic and right at them. He supposed he wasn’t going to get any meaningful stare, not like the one he wanted to give, so he rounded the vehicle and popped the trunk to retrieve his kids’ bags.

“Thank god.”

Iris ran to little Bart who ran straight towards her calling, “Mommy!” and falling into her arms.

Nora was a little slower but not because she wanted to stay with her dad. She made a beeline for Eddie, who stepped out of the house shortly after. She hugged him around his waist, and he smiled.

“Hey, there, kiddo. Missed you.”

“Missed you too, Eddie.”

That hurt like a gut punch. To see such tenderness between the little girl that used to adore him and the guy that had replaced him. It was his own doing, and he knew it, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.

What was worse was the way he let himself stand there staring at the little family that used to be his, and none of them noticed. Not once.

“Who wants pancakes?” Eddie asked, getting grins from everyone, even Iris.

“Me!” the two kids cheered, bouncing inside to get their breakfast.

And Barry was just about to go, just about to leave and see them again who knows when. If Harry the Madman was right, probably never. But what were the chances he was right? He gulped, wishing there wasn’t a small part of him that believed the guy.

But then it happened.

Iris looked at him.

“Thanks for bringing them home early.”

“Yep,” was all he could bring himself to say. He could barely look at her. She was too beautiful and too not his for him to be allowed to look.

“Pancakes?”

And his breath caught in his throat. And he stared. Stared like he wanted to for the rest of time. Willing her to know how much he still wanted and loved her and how sorry he was. Had he ever told her? Maybe once when she was really angry. It wouldn’t have mattered then. Honestly, he didn’t even remember.

It would be awkward with Eddie there. Barry would probably make it worse by not being able to hold his tongue against the guy and creating tension for the kids. Maybe he’d be asked to leave and wouldn’t that be so much worse than just leaving now?

But oh, the temptation to stay and maybe not make an ass of himself? Of having a nice meal with his ex-wife and biological children and the guy who had-

BZZ. BZZ.

Snapping out of the reverie of all the what-ifs, Barry pulled his phone out of his pocket and saw who it was. He winced regrettably, but maybe it was a godsend.

“Late for work.”

It was a Saturday, but that hardly mattered for the billionaire whose kids he chauffeured for.

“Yes, Hello?” he talked into the phone, trying his best to ignore the possible longing look his ex-wife was given him right before she walked back into the house after their children.

Or maybe there was no longing look. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

“Allen, where are you?”

“Just getting back from vacation, Sir.”

The man was five years older than him, tops, but he knew that didn’t matter. A boss was a boss, and money made him a superior.

“Excellent. I will send the jet to pick up Will and Mia.”

“Understood,” Barry said, climbing into the car and turning the vehicle back onto the road.

“Allen.”

“Sir?”

“Get my children as fast as you can.”

“I’m hurtling towards you as we speak, Sir.”

“Excellent.”

Click.

…

It wasn’t Mia and Will’s fault they were so spoiled rotten. Their dad was a billionaire. He seemed to have no end to his luck. It just so happened that he was rarely around for his kids unless it was a life or death matter. The fact that Oliver Queen suddenly felt the need to be reunited by them probably should’ve stuck out to Barry, but it didn’t. His mind was still swirling from all things failed family related. He was just going through the motions at this point and wanted to get home.

He arrived at the Queen’s fancy LA mansion roughly half an hour later. Mia and Will were standing outside with their butler holding onto their suitcases. Barry hadn’t even opened his door before they lifted their hands to their identical watches and scowled at him.

“Allen, you’re late.”

Barry grimaced and got out of the limo, took their suitcases from the butler and shoved them into the trunk, ignoring the crude remarks he got from the boy and the complaining that the door was not already opened for her to get inside from the girl.

They were 12 and 13. He knew it would only get worse from here on out.

The airport was a short distance away, and Barry was eager to get rid of them. This time he was out of the car before they could even think to open the door and was delivering their luggage to them by ‘accidentally’ dropping it on their feet.

“Hey!”

“Ow!”

“You’re a little late, aren’t you, Allen?” the pilot of the ginormous jet asked, coming down the staircase from the cockpit.

Barry held his tongue to that.

“Have a great trip!” He waved, then muttered under his breath, “You little bastards.”

Mia spun around, not having heard what he said but definitely how he said it.

“You’re laughing now, but just you wait and see. We have tickets to go on a big ship. We will live, and you will die.”

“Hey!” The pilot harped at her, and she spun around to head up the stairs after her brother, delivering one more glare to Barry before he got back inside his car.

Despite himself and writing off Harry as a crazy man who’d truly lost his mind with conspiracy theories just the night before, Barry turned on the radio to his station and listened in.

“Folks, did you hear that? The authorities in L.A. say there's nothing to worry about. I'd love to see their dumb faces when Malibu and Beverly Hills get sucked into the gurgling maw of the Pacific. Where they gonna plug in their electric cars then? Ha-Ha-Ha.”

A rumbling vibration underneath the limo made Barry turn the radio off and open his door.

Another surface crack. He’d seen them around the city a lot recently. This one was relatively minor, nothing like the supermarket incident or even the one from the previous morning that the more popular radio stations had brushed aside with a laugh as an ‘inconvenience’.

But the pieces were falling into place. Maybe Harry wasn’t crazy after all. Maybe it was all coming to an end right here, right now, and if he didn’t make a plan, that would be the end for not just his family but all of mankind.

He bolted out of the limo and ran across a short distance to a hangar with a small private plane inside. A man stood there, presumably cleaning it up.

“Hey, is this your plane?”

“Yeah.” The guy looked dumbfounded, probably due to how frantic Barry was acting.

“A-Are you a pilot?”

He blinked.

“…Yeah.”

“I wanna rent it, okay? I'll give you anything you want.” He unlatched the pretty watch wrapped around his wrist and handed it over. “Here, take this. This is a very expensive watch. My editor gave it to me when he thought I was gonna be somebody.”

Miraculously, the guy took it as payment, stuffing the watch in his pocket.

“So, you want to leave now? Or…?”

“No. No, no, no, no. I’m going to get my family.”

He started backing away, heading in the direction of the parked limo before the ground erupted beneath his feet like it would no doubt do in under an hour, if he was lucky.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can!”

“But-”

“Half hour tops! I’ll speed!”

And then he did speed, right after he got in the car, closed the door behind him and left the sight of the airport in his rearview mirror.

But not for long.

I’m coming for you, Iris. I’m coming for my family.

[jazzafterhours]

the more i think about merrill and sebastian, the more intense i'm feeling about them too, because i feel like sebastian has been abused by the chantry to some extent. i get the sense that a lot of his stances are genuine--he strongly debates whether or not to stay with the chantry and does walk away from it once no matter what, twice if hawke convinces him to retake his position in starkhaven, so i don't feel like he's been entirely twisted up and blinded, at least on the matter of religion and mages, he seems to really believe.

but. i do think the chantry (and his parents) messed up his understanding of morals, and what is good vs bad, and why. sebastian slept around in his youth and wasted money on mind-altering substances, presumably, and his parents considered it disgraceful, so they sent him to the chantry against his will to "straighten him out". (this post will focus on sex, mainly, but i could so go on about his broken moral compass re: mage rights and how he responds to anders at the end of the game, how he instantly flips into a much more harmful portrayal of justice/vengeance than he thinks anders is, imo. anyway)

now, the kinds of things he got up to could be harmful in excess or if not doing it safely, yes, but of course having sex or using substances isn't inherently wrong / immoral, you just need to be careful and understand your boundaries and all that. maybe he did need someone to tell him to slow down, be safer, and evaluate his needs / if these things were really good for him or if he was using them as an escape or something like that, but he didn't need to be told he was a disgrace or that it was wrong to do x and y. classic case of condemning the action instead of treating the root cause of them, which likely is that he felt sidelined as the youngest, "less important" of his siblings, while still feeling the pressure of being royalty. he probably didn't get the kind of nurturing he needed. probably didn't get the opportunity for positive, genuine relationships.

and then in the chantry, he's having that idea of "disgrace" solidified. he's meant to be chaste. he's meant to set aside all personal pleasure. he has to let go of such "base" things to dedicate himself to the maker & andraste. i don't know for sure if all chantry clergy are supposed to be celibate because it's the case for sebastian, while it seems very much not the case in dai (at the very least, a sister has sex with the iron bull lol and i feel like it's mentioned elsewhere but i cant remember off the top of my head). regardless, sebastian has had his sexual desires repressed.

enter merrill, as i've been writing her lately. sex knowledgeable and sex-positive, and so down to casually enjoy others without it being a big deal. sebastian noticing that she's having sex with half their friends at this point, maybe more, and his internalized sex-negativity making him think badly of her. she's "deviant", and "frivolous" like he once was. not only could she give him the fucking he really needs, she could unravel the knots his family and the chantry tied in his mind. she could remind him that sex can be good and fun, and there's nothing wrong with that. sex can be beautiful, and deeply satisfying, and he is not dirty and disgraceful for liking sex.

she could fix him

[izzy-b-hands]

I know everyone on here only knew her via my occasional posts about work (back when I worked at the clinic in ND), but I wanted to post a small something about Pam, in honour of her passing today.

Pam had been at the clinic longer than any of us. And she was truly one of those employees that helped keep things running. She knew each doctor (but the MDs in particular, always the pickier and more needy than the ODs) like the back of her hand, in both scheduling requirements and overall likes and hates and needs. At first, she scared the ever-loving fuck out of me. She could be gruff, and occasionally outright mean, though I will always be grateful to her for the kindness she showed me compared to other trainees. Some of that may have come at first because she knew/worked alongside my mum for a few years prior to my being hired, but in time I found out that she simply did like me. Appreciated that I wanted to work hard and be better at everything in my life. Understood that life hadn't necessarily been kind or fair to me or my family and understood that well, because it hadn't been to her either.

Occasionally she'd be gone from work due to her Crohn's, and other chronic issues, and that was only what she'd tell you about. The implication was that, while she overall was quite happy with how things had ended up, there had been a lot of rough shit in between that had toughened Pam up a lot. It made her seem impossible to get to know to some, but I can say it was worth the work. Underneath the shell she'd had to grow to get through, there was a very kind, understanding woman who genuinely wanted the best for those she saw as doing their best in a world that's not easy for anyone to live in, even in the best of times and circumstances.

I admit, we did all encourage less than ideal parts of each other. She smoke too much and drank too much (and during the time in my life when I drank, we overdid it on her favourite long island iced teas more than once during happy hour after work.) But it helped to deal with things as work at the clinic got harder and things changed, unfortunately for the worse both for staff and patients (but I digress on that. The place is still running with Pam and I and many others gone, like any other privately owned rural clinic. When they're one of the few places open for care, they always straggle on no matter what they do to anyone else.) None of the above mentioned changed how fucking hard she worked though, and how she'd put her own job on the line to help out coworkers and patients alike whenever the chance arose.

That said, we helped get each other through the rougher days, and she gave me fantastic life advice in the times in between. Advice that finally helped get me out of ND, in fact, when it became clear that living there was no longer safe. Some of her best bits that I've engraved into my head are: 'there's always another job out there, another place to live, another person to meet that might be a friend to you. Don't let despair override your chance at something better, kinder, or easier. Take the treats that you can in life, whether that's a good drink or a favourite food or outing (she enjoyed the casino herself.) Don't worry too much about overindulging, because the time here is too fucking short anyway for it to matter in the way you think it will. Live your life, and feel it all in full, because it'll go by you faster than you expect.'

So tonight, with Housemate, I'm going to try and take her advice. I'm going to let myself be sad and miss her. I'll let myself be sad that it happened the way it did (barely a few days in hospice, from a cancer that it seems she didn't know about until very near the end. I only hope they had good meds to help her not hurt so much and that they let her have a few drinks and cigarettes if she wanted them.) We'll eat a good dinner, with food and drink that we like, and we'll look to see what we can send for flowers to her funeral (her sisters and nephews, I'm told, are doing their best to set it all up, but aside from that and past coworkers, I don't know if there's much of anyone else left to go to it or send anything. The least I can do to thank her for treating me with kindness and care when others didn't is to send flowers, I think.)

And I'll have a little, non-alcoholic, toast to her life and memory. May her memory be a blessing, and may whatever there is after this life be kind to Pam. She deserves that and more.

[queen-scribbles]

Kina Smooches*  Arn vs Rass time GO

Pardon me while I work through the pros(there are no cons) of the two final contenders for my girl flirting. 👀👀👀 

[For new SWtOR followers, bc I know there’s a few of you(hi and welcome!) this is Kina-- Taldine, as in daughter of Pak Taldine, the gangster/guard from Jedi Knight Belsavis arc. Condensed backstory here]

It really boils down to whether I want to play up a more “opposites attract” or “two of a kind” type of relationship. (and, disclaimer, I’ve seen the Rass flirts but not Arn’s) 

Arn: I pretty much had settled on her flirting with Arn before Showdown on Ruhnuk came out.  I wasn’t really feeling a vibe with any of the other options(Corso or the expac ones. I’d headcanon a long-standing Thing with Numen in a hot second). But I really love the mental image of this snarky smuggler, whose main focus tends to be looking out for herself and then her crew, very jaded and cynical, whose worldview is something like this:

finding herself caring about the emotional and physical wellbeing of an earnest, eager, do-gooder Jedi. Like, this was not the plan. Why does it matter to her that he’s struggling to believe in himself?? Why does she care?? Other people’s soul-searching has never been a concern of hers before, so why does she worry about Arn and want to make sure he a)is safe and b)believes in himself?? She wants to protect him and encourage him, that’s not like her, she lets people solve their own problems, and yet here she is standing on the slaver docks assuring him he’s a good Jedi and he made the right choice and what is her life now!?!

And just the slow development of actual care and romantic feelings would be really cute and and her “oh. OH. well shit” moment would be amazing. Kina is basically a good person, she’s just more flippant and less altruistic and tends to not get attached. She cares about people, sure. In the “would feel bad if they got hurt” sense, and obviously cares enough to wanna stop the Eternal Empire (she’s very “uuuuugghhhhh fINE” and maybe a tad personal-revenge motivated about it tho) But I don’t think she has anyone in her life that, say, you could threaten to manipulate her into doing things for you. She’d probably shoot you in the face instead. Arn would, potentially, become that for her, and I find that delicious. It would wind up deep and scary and exhilarating and be really fun to watch play out. (Corso and Risha are sitting on Odessen watching with matching grins and mugs of liquored-up hot chocolate bc one thing they can agree on is this crisis of hers as she falls in love is entertaining as hell.) 

Rass is the opposite; his general attitude is very much in line with hers and she would vibe with him immediately.  The sarcasm, the needling her crashing a shuttle, the focused drive to find and rescue his brother, all very much like her. (She has a soft spot for family-related distress calls that she will deny strenuously if anyone points it out. But it’s 100% there). And what I’ve seen of the flirts, they’re definitely things she would say. Flirting with Rass would be more for fun that has an 85-90% chance to turn into “whoops I slipped and caught feelings” and a lot more levity and playfully heckling each other. 

It would progress more along lines of realizing they work well together, little bit of worry about each others’ safety while simultaneously “ppsh s/he’s a badass, it’s fine” about danger. “Kick his ass, babe, I’ll hold your flower” type couple, for sure, in both directions. And that is also really fun to watch. I think her falling for Rass would be more subtle and one day someone would say something and it would hit her like a ton of bricks and she’d just go “Well, SHIT.”

I am fully aware I could have her flirt with both, that would vibe especially well with a smuggler since they’re portrayed a bit more flirty and all than most of the other classes. But then I would live in fear of the day BioWare made us pick. xD And also, my OCs tend to be monogamous. (Except Xander, apparently, who is pushing REAL HARD for an OT3 with Lana and Anri that totally won’t end in tears since he’s a saboteur 😅😅) I like to pick one RO, maybe flirt a teeny bit with someone else if it’s in character, but actually only pursue the one I want. 

Basically, tl;dr, Rass would be fun, Arn would be character growth and both are really fucking tempting and she’ll be sitting at the start of Onslaught until I get this worked out. xD

 *I’m aware there’s no smooches yet, that both are just flirting. And that’s all it might ever be. But in case it goes somewhere.

[stanurines1mp]

Wanting You

A decision to be made… A path to her life… Erika Smith found her answer. From Attack On Titan / Shingeki No Kyojin, An Armin Arlert x OC Story.

𝙤𝙣𝙚

𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩 ← 𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔳 𝔫𝔢𝔵𝔱 → 𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱

Erika Smith had her eyes focused on the writings in the book she held. Just a random book she found on one of her cousin's shelves but she took an interest in it. Her body slouched against the chair she was sitting on by the window, feeling the warmth of the sun hitting her skin. 

Her lips were confined between her teeth, her eyebrows furrowed as her pupils followed the words intensely, her focus solely on the content of the book. She was much too invested that she couldn't even hear the voice of her cousin who had just entered the room, calling her name multiple times already. It was only when she caught a glimpse of his shadow over the pages of the book that she noticed his presence. 

She looked up, seeing the tall man standing in front of her, intimidating eyes and thick brows staring down at her, his hands crossed over his chest in a serious demeanor. She could sense the tension in his shoulders, which only proved the situation to be a serious one. She took a sharp inhale, closing the book shut quickly that she forgot to mark the page she had stopped at. She cursed herself silently for having forgotten that. 

"Is everything okay?" The girl questioned, her tone careful and polite but curious all the same. 

"We need to talk," he commanded, turning around to lead her to the living room or somewhere less private than her room. 

She followed after him, watching as he took a seat in an armchair. She followed his action, taking a seat on the sofa across from him. He leaned back against the chair, his eyes still holding the same sentiment as before. "What's this about?" She asked again. 

"I know you signed up to be a Cadet," he plainly said, though his eyes contradicted the calmness in his voice. 

Upon hearing his words, her green-colored orbs widened, and another curse to herself sent in silence. "I can expl-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because I know you'd react this way!" She defended lightly. 

"Then why apply?" 

"Because I want to help. Like you helped!" She let out, though she knew that wasn't really the reason. "Why are you so against it, Erwin?" 

"You know why," he firmly said, leaning forward, eyes more stern than before. If that was even possible. "I've watched many of my comrades die and I don't want you to meet the same end." 

"That's because you're a Scout. I don't have to be a Scout," she reasoned. "I can be in a Military Police-"

"And if you don't qualify for it?"

"I'd have the Garrison Regiment," she said plainly. 

"So you'd choose those over the Scout Regiment?" He asked, tone steady as his brows quirked. 

It took the young girl a second to reply. Her head was tilted down, her tone lowered as she let out a small "No."

"That's what I thought," he replied in a matter-of-factly tone. "I don't want to have to worry about you-"

"Then what about me?" She suddenly asked, her voice louder than before, almost angry. When she saw the puzzled look on his complexion, she continued, "I have to stay home every day and worry for you! I have to wait days and days for you to come back home!"

"Erika-"

"Then, even when you all have returned, I still have to search for you in the crowd! Because there is no guarantee that you're safe! That you're alive! I've already lost most of my family, I can't lose you too!" She vented, her eyes full of emotion as her words slipped out of her tongue. "But I can't stop you from achieving your goals," she added, her voice now lowered. "So you can't stop me either. Whether you approve or not, I will join to become a Cadet." 

The older man had no words left on the tip of his tongue. As his younger cousin was typically a lively girl, he was shocked to have witnessed her outburst. Maybe her emotions were kept bottled up all this while. Remaining silent, his lips agape as his eyes stared blankly at her figure, she left the living room and went to her room instead. 

She carefully closed the door, not wanting to slam it in case of a sign of disrespect. Because after all, that was the man who had taken care of her since she was young. Erika laid herself on her bed, taking a pillow to cover her face that was tainted red in the embarrassment of her own rant. 

She could then hear footsteps approaching her bedroom door, belonging to none other than Erwin. The young brunette knew her cousin was right outside her door through the shadow he cast over the gap under the door, probably to 'discuss' with her about things. 

But she felt like she needed to be alone at that moment. And she was praying under her breath for him not to continue his intention by rapping his knuckles against the wooden door. By some miracle, her wish was answered. 

On the other side of the door, the blond man let out a defeated sigh as he lowered his fist from the door and down to his side. He began to walk away, his mind already thinking of his next moves. 

The girl refused to leave her room but she had no choice when darkness loomed over her room, the lack of sunlight indicating that dinnertime shouldn't be much longer. She slowly removed the pillow that rested on her face and pushed herself upwards. Her legs moved to the side, dangling over the edge of the bed. 

She got up and walked towards the door, turning the doorknob. She made her way towards the kitchen and rustled through the pantry for any appropriate ingredients. Then, her routine began. Not much longer, the kitchen smelled aromatic and her cousin soon appeared in the room. Neither of them said a word, only doing their actions as usual even once the two were seated by the table and ready to eat. 

"I have decided," Erwin suddenly broke the silence of the night. His words caught the young girl's attention. Her eyes looked up to meet his, patiently waiting for his next words. "I will allow you to join the military," he lowly let out. He watched as his cousin's plain eyes lighted up brightly. 

"Are you serious?!" She squeaked in happiness upon seeing his nod. "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She giggled excitedly, getting off her chair to rush towards him, her arms tightly wrapped around his shoulders. "You won't regret it!" She gushed happily, not noticing the small smile the man wore on his complexion. 

"I know you'll make me proud one day, Erika," he hummed, raising his hands to wrap around the girl in a warm embrace. 

His words replayed in her mind, even as she placed a goodbye kiss on his cheek, her arms refusing to let him go on his mission. God knows when would be the next time they would see each other again. He's leaving for a new mission just as she was leaving for the training camp.  

Upon her arrival at the compound, she was told to present herself before being assigned her bunk. Once registrations ended, everyone was told to line up in their uniforms. It was mostly an introduction from the instructor. 

Afterward, Erika headed back to her bunk to change into something a little more comfortable for the night. As she was about to head to the dining hall, she overheard some people talking on the veranda of a dorm. 

"We're from Shiganshina," a boy said, his hair a light brown, paired with jewel green eyes. 

As she walked past them, her head glanced over her shoulders to look at the boy. He also had another boy beside him who Erika assumed was the 'we' in question. The other boy had bright blond hair that vaguely reminded her of her cousin. The boy, too, had piercing blue ocean eyes. 

One that had accidentally met Erika's. His orbs widened just as hers did but she immediately looked away and made her way to the dining hall as planned. Erika took a tray of food and sat at an empty table, not sure just yet if she should approach others. But she remained in solitude as she ate. 

She just watched the night unfold in front of her, listening in silence as the brown-haired boy from before told the others of his traumatic experience in Shiganshina when the wall was broken. When Erika wanted to leave, she pushed herself off the bench and brought her tray to the designated bin. 

She walked towards the door, opening it before she left the room, the night air was cold as it hit her skin. She took off her hair tie and let it rest on her wrist, the breeze causing her hair to softly dance in nature's rhythm. 

She felt a tingling sensation on her neck, taking her eyes off the road and onto the silver necklace that dangled out of her shirt. She quickly went to tuck it back into her shirt though not stopping her movements. Just when she had finally looked up, she collided with someone. She took a step back, pushing strands of hair behind. 

"I'm so sorry-"

"It's fine, it was my fault. I wasn't looking where I was going," she cut the boy off only to realize that it was one of the boys from Shiganshina. She caught the brown-haired boy's name from the way others were talking to him loudly earlier. But she didn't know his name. "I'm Erika Smith," she said, a soft smile gracing her lips. 

"I'm Armin."

[rosepetalkitty]

oh boy tw for family trauma 🫠

yeah no that's. damn.

my dad only ever hit me once, and he probably doesn't remember it, but i do. i never told anyone because i didn't want him to get in trouble — he was always the parent who was less of a threat.

that's the only physical thing that ever happened (thank god) but there was a lot of other shit and moving away to uni really helped me realize that.

my mom would sit on my bed behind me while i worked on homework and shout at me if it seemed like i was falling asleep. she would keep me up until 1am some nights, and when she was tired and angry in the morning she would tell everyone it was my fault no matter how much i tried to say that i wanted her to just go to bed, that i didn't want to keep her up, that i was tired too... that started at the beginning 9th grade (during quarantine) and lasted until the beginning of 11th.

before that, in middle school (i was 12) when i first got a phone, she told me one of the expectations was that i would give her the password and let her go through it. i did give her the password, but even at that age i didn't really trust her, so i used another app to put a second password on my home screen. if you put it in wrong it took a photo of you and emailed it to me.

a few weeks later she told me she wanted to go through it, and i told her that was fine, but because it was past my bedtime she wouldn't let me stay up and sit with her while she did. i asked if we could do it in the morning so that we could go through it together, and she said that was fine. guess who woke up to an enraged mother and an email with a picture of her face in the morning...

i brought that one up in therapy four years later in response to her telling the therapist she didn't know why i didn't trust her, and she interrupted me to say, and i quote, "that was so long ago that it doesn't matter anymore." she then turned to the therapist to tell her about how when i was in middle school i wouldn't let her go through my phone "to make sure i was safe", and that that was evidence that the trust issues were my fault. the therapist just looked at me like 😬 and quickly moved on to the next topic. my mom now refuses to acknowledge that she ever said that.

in high school my parents always kinda treated me like a toddler. i wasn't allowed to leave the house unless it was with them because they didn't trust public transportation and our neighborhood wasn't safe to walk out of (giant road all around the perimeter). i didn't get to take a bus until i was 16, and that was only to the mall a few minutes from my house. it took until i was 17 to be able to actually go and hang out with my friends without her supervision or that of another parent who she would expect updates from.

now that im in uni living on my own, she takes every opportunity she can to berate me about my ability to take care of myself. ive been living alone for three months now and have been perfectly fine, doing what i can to get decent nutrition on a college campus that makes it somewhat difficult, and she argued with me about whether it was "responsible" to get a hamburger when she brought me to shake shack while was home to visit for a weekend. "you probably only eat stuff like this, anyways, order something healthy!"

and honestly, speaking of that trip, y'know what really showed me how much less stress i've been under in uni? having a nice brunch at a fancy-ish restaurant that we used to go to with my grandparents when i was little and being low-key appalled when my parents parents started having a not-so-quiet back and forth in which my mom was saying "oh you just think everything i say is wrong, just tell everyone that, be honest, this is ridiculous" over the fact that my dad had asked "hey just to make sure we did mean to get two orders of potatoes, right? just want to check before the server comes back in case that's too much."

those arguments were normal to me a few months ago. and they wonder why i don't tell them things...

(also for context, it's one of those places where two or three small plates is enough for one person and you share stuff, so he was counting up what we were planning to order to make sure we got the right amount — the answer was yes, everyone in the family loves those potatoes, and the second my brother said that my dad was like "oh cool okay, anyways-" before being cut off again by my mom going nuclear over being interrupted by my brother)

and also, final footnote before i post this, there is so much more. this is like. not the worst of my childhood. plus im not including anything from before i was like 12 because i don't remember any of it besides a couple snippets, so there's that...