#or even just stopped by to see what some rando tagged them in

[bayetea]

I'm gonna froth at the mouth over this in the tags so bear with me but reason #1278038 why the way rick went about breaking up jiper was bad: rereading her povs in hoo where she gushes over jason feels like even more of an unreliable narrator queer girl comphet psychological horror story

[henrycangelbaby]

Thinking about John Price and his cute little assistant (reader) who ends up pregnant. 

A/N: Guys i was inspired while scrolling on the john price x reader tag, this legit came to me as a vision and now i have to write it (I plan on expanding on this idea so just stay with me!!!!)

Imagine being John Price's cute little assistant, just the sweetest little thing that John is kinda obsessed with. Like don't get me wrong she is amazing at her job, smart, put together and well organized and John does feel that her addition has been a positive one, taking some pressure off his shoulders and making sure his team is always prepared for whatever they are doing. She is very good at what she does, but that doesn’t stop John from admiring her. He knows he shouldn't be bit, he can't help it, she's young and sweet and a little bit innocent and he just wants to protect and love her all the time. 

In the beginning she was shy, only addressing him as sir and knocking on his door hesitantly whenever she needed to speak to him but gradually their boundaries became less and less. More often than not she works out of his office, whether he’s there or not, he insists on buying her an early lunch when she lets slip that she didn't have breakfast that morning. He has even picked her up from a night out once or twice, a little bit tipsy and calling the most trusted person she can think of that just happened to be her boss. He takes care of her as well, helping her get her makeup and clothes off before tucking her into her bed with a bottle of water and pain killers for the morning. He doesn't mention it when he sees her next, knowing how embarrassed she will be when he tells her the loneliness her tipsy self admitted. 

When she starts to get sick John is having absolutely none of it, driving her home and ordering her to take some time off (he even visits later that night to bring her some soup for her stomach). He doesn't expect her to look so sad when she comes back supposedly better from her “flu”, he doesn't expect to see her eyes shine with tears when he asks “what's wrong babygirl?”.  He sits them down on the couch in his office together, putting an arm over her and pulling her close for comfort. He certainly does not expect her to look up at him with those shiny wet eyes and admit she did something bad before crying that she's pregnant. It’s news to John who never even considered that his girl would be dating (let alone sleeping with) people. When he vocalizes this and she admits that her baby daddy isn't a very good guy, it's over for John. 

Suddenly he's all over her, promising to be there for her, that she can come to him whenever she needs. And he actually means it. Suddenly she’s staying in the spare bedroom in his house, not only does it have more room but John can keep an eye on her. She entirely moves into his office working on his desk with him, he gets her a comfy chair so she can be supported in the later months. He gets up to hold her hair back when she has morning sickness and ensures she gets enough nutritious food each day. When she starts showing, oh my god John doesn't know what to do with himself. That little bump peaking out of her tight skirts makes him foam at the mouth. Of course he prioritizes her comfort, insisting she change shoes and stop wearing those uncomfortable looking heels, but he keeps her in her formal work attire for just a little longer, just so he can see her cute tummy poking out of it. 

Speaking of her bump. He simply can't resist putting his hand on it. He feels so protective over it, best believe he goes feral if anyone tries to touch it. Hell all but breaks loose when his precious baby looks up at him with teary eyes telling him how uncomfortable she was when some rando put their hand on her stomach, (someone definitely lost their job that day). He eventually has her sitting in his lap, cooing over her and reassuring her that they won't get in trouble, that really he is the big boss anyways. He just loves having her there, perched on top of him he rests his head on her shoulder both arms coming around to cradle her now bigger bump. 

John mandates maternity leave when she starts getting big, maybe around seven months when she spends a lot of her time complaining about back aches and swollen ankles, of course he does what he can to help her but it gets to the point where he knows that she should be resting. He has to basically forcibly put her on leave, reassuring her panics about money by promising to take care of her. And oh boy does he. He gives her foot massages and holds her belly, when she starts outgrowing her clothes best believe he would hand over any of his so she can fit in them more comfortably. He's just all over her, unable to stomach the fact that soon she will have a real live baby. That baby is about to become the most protected baby in the entire world.

That's all I have for now because I fear if I begin rambling about the rest of the 141 neither of us might make it out alive. (just know this baby is going to be so damn spoiled it’s crazy). 

[ozzgin]

Yandere! CoD Headcanons: König x Reader x Ghost (II)

“Sharing is caring” is likely familiar to most, though the nuances of it may sometimes differ beyond the classic expectations. You’re trapped between two jealous, possessive and feverishly infatuated men with no escape in your sight. That implies, of course, you’ve been looking for a way out of this bizarre partnership. Have you? Be honest…

TW: NSFW, obsessive behavior, size kink, violence

Tags: @223princess

[Part I]

Yet another classic rule that comes with your job is to always be ready to deal with the unexpected. Plan as well as you may, the battleground is not as generous as to stick to your schedule. Yet the same principle applies out of combat, too. It’s just…you had’t really imagined such an outcome to be possible. Your extensive training covered most scenarios, from raids, to ambushes, natural disasters, everything except, well, this. You wonder if the code of conduct might include a paragraph about work romance, specifically your teammates taking turns to fuck you shamelessly at any hour of the day.

You gaze at your reflection in the slightly fogged mirror and quickly look away, embarrassed. You can’t bear to see the markings that are peppered all over your body, betraying the depraved activities you’ve indulged in for the past weeks. How did it even come to this? You sit on the edge of the bed, drying your hair, and hesitantly replay the event in your head. Your helpless form crouched on the storage floor, looking up at the two large men gripping at each other’s throats. Behind their masks you could sense their ferocious intent to kill. How would you explain it to your superiors? You gathered up your remaining confidence and barked at them to stop at once. They were indeed taken aback by your sudden yell that could’ve put any drill sergeant to shame. You wanted to get to the bottom of the conflict and put all this bullshit behind as soon as possible. Until they offered you the honest cause of their hostile rivalry. You could only stare in disbelief.

Your first instinct was to wonder if this was some sort of elaborate prank. What the hell, were they a bunch of high schoolers learning to handle their first crush or fucking grown adults in the middle of a military operation? You were never oblivious to it: mixed gender missions always came with a lot of casual hookups to blow off steam. Not your thing, but there’s plenty of other people down to it. Your suggestion was met with angry, vehement refusal. Both Ghost and König were outraged at the insinuation they’d put their dicks in some rando, as if that’s all there was to it. As if anyone else would do. Ironically this is where they found their common ground. König had lifted you nonchalantly by the collar of your uniform and asked you if you’re playing dumb. You could only shrug, even more confused. Ghost joined him and explained, casually and matter-of-fact, that you can call it a hookup as long as you remember it’s a lifelong arrangement. You were to walk out that door with the knowledge you belong to them and they would take any necessary steps to ensure your compliance. The hunting knife that was meant to plunge into his rival was now propped under your chin, dangerously close to your throbbing artery.

Now this should’ve been your sign to nod obediently, pack your suitcase at the earliest convenience and get the hell out. And that was your honest intent, initially. You could almost visualize the documents granting your absence from duty. Then you felt your buttons pop from their seams, forcefully ripped apart by König’s large hand. It occurred to you that you were propped against the wall by two men twice your size. You could hear their now labored breaths, muffled by their masks. The Austrian man roughly readjusted your posture, having you rest against his hips and throwing your legs around his waist. You gasped quietly once you sensed a bulge pressing into you. He fumbled with his zipper, but Ghost interrupted him with an irritated scolding. “You can’t just ram it in, you fucking dumbass.” You didn’t take long to understand the meaning and shivered at the thought. Without a warning, Ghost slid his hand into your now unbuckled pants. Two fingers begun pressing circles over your underwear and an unconscious whine escaped your lips. Satisfied by your reaction, he brought himself closer and increased the pace until he felt the moisture pooling in the fabric, which was enough encouragement to gently slip his way inside of you. In an attempt to help, König lowered his head over your breasts, fondling your now sensitive nipples with his tongue. His mask draped over your skin, adding a mild tickle to the overwhelming buildup. You suddenly remembered the storage no longer had a door after König kicked it out of its hinges, so you tried to push the muscular man away. “W-what if someone comes in?” Against your will and to your surprise, the question rolled out like a prolonged moan and you blushed awkwardly. “They won’t, if you shut up.” Ghost responded curtly. He considered it for a moment, and added smugly: “Don’t worry, that pretty mouth of yours will be real busy soon.” You closed your eyes tightly and prayed you wouldn’t be caught.

And you weren’t. You got away with it. That time, and the other time, and all the other times. At this point you question whether your other teammates truly haven’t noticed or have since learned to look away. Another possibility is that the psychotic duo has threatened the others into silence. Given their cocky attitude whenever you protest about the openness or risky timing, it wouldn’t surprise you at all. Even worse, their libido seems to be increasing exponentially as a consequence to their incessant competition of owning you. They seem to be plagued by a delirious need to have you at all times, and you’re rather afraid to admit that your desire to flee is slowly being replaced by a similar addiction. Rabid dogs in heat. That’s the only analogy that comes to mind.

Last time you didn’t even get the chance to return to the base. The soldiers had exited the truck, cheering their success and marching towards the gate. König had been quiet the entire ride, not even bothering to hide his ardent stare, his eyes hooded with lust. You were about to hop off yourself when you felt his burning grip on your wrist, pulling you back in and onto his lap. Oh, how he loves fucking you like this. His toned legs are sprawled out dominantly and his calloused hands guide you over his erection. No matter how many times you do it, the start is always painful. He’s just that big. But that’s his favorite part. Seeing you wince and tear up, holding your stomach as if shielding it from the foreign object assaulting the walls of your frail body. Then the thrusts become smoother and your movements break into an erratic pleading for more. He wants to witness it all. God, you turn him into a wild animal. His fingers dig into your skin and towards the end you’re a whimpering mess, shamelessly drooling over his uniform in a daze. As you coat him with your slick cum, he grunts and barely manages to speak. “Fuck, I’m gonna lose my mind for good one of these days.” His voice is deep and reverberates against your heaving chest.

Scratch that. Last time you didn’t even make it to the truck. You were laying behind a boulder, wiping the sweat and dirt off your face. You’d just finished taking out your targets and announced your return in the headset. Ghost approaches you with a hidden smirk and squats before you, extending a hand towards you. “Need help?” You nod with gratitude and take off your helmet. You reach for his hand, hoping he’d pull you up, but instead his fingers claw around your throat and push you against the ground. “Good, I have the perfect thing for a little slut like you.” He climbs over you without letting go of your neck and undoes your jacket with ease. Hell, he’s been doing it so often he could manage even blindfolded. With the free hand he shoves one of your legs away to make space. Truth be told, he’s very much biased towards this particular arrangement. He can already feel the unbearable pressure of his member waiting to be freed. He adores being able to take all of you in. Your expression, your small body trapped under his massive frame. He can fuck you as he pleases, until you turn into a rag doll, and there’s no way out. You grit your teeth in anticipation and hold onto his arm that’s choking you once he goes in. You must’ve been molded just for him. There’s no other explanation for his feral clinginess, scratching and biting and pulling in desperate, agonizing pleasure. After the deed has been done he can admire his masterful work, gazing lovingly at your flustered, disheveled form, gasping for air and dripping with his seed.

Your shake your head and try to chase away these perverted memories. You’re still damp from the shower and continue massaging your scalp with the towel, when you hear a knock on your door. Oh, no. No. “Busy!” is all you manage to shout. The door opens nonetheless and Ghost and König waltz in, entirely indifferent to your refusal. “Can’t I have one moment to myself?” You groan, frustrated. König leans against the wall and Ghost kneels in front of you. There’s a hint of cheekiness in his voice. “Sure. Tell us to go away and we will.” You blink and ponder his words. Remembering all the past encounters has gotten you a little bit eager, that’s true, but… “Say it.” He repeats himself. You squirm and look away, a deep red spreading across your face. Your lips are pursed. König lets out a soft laugh and closes the door, then faces you. “Since you wanted to be a brat, you have to beg for it now.”

What have you gotten yourself into?

[crushedsweets]

i am so so sorry for the sheer amount of headcanons i'm making you crank out, HOWEVER... i am so curious as to if you have any headcanons for nina and natalie as a duo. i love the way you perceive them and write them it genuinely makes me so happy

i had to doodle them . ok. lets go..

nat was one of the first people nina met from jeff, since she and jeff lived in the barn together.

nina thought nat was a lesbian when they first met . that is literally the only reason why she wasnt mad jeff was living with a woman.

although nina was like, one of the ONLY people to notice toby/nat tension and was sooo heartbroken when she realized they were never getting together..... but then was relieved they didnt get together when she got over jeff because 'well i can't be the only single one!'

again, natalie grew up with 0 girl friends, only hung out with her brother and boys. even after meeting the creeps, theyre still mostly guys. so she's just kinda really awkward and weird around girls. not in a like, 'oh girls r so annoying' way but like... she just doesnt know how to fit in. she just feels so different in the worst possible way and always has.

and nina is very girly, outgoing, touchy, friendly, cute, etc. so it was very like UMMM?!? idk. natalie kept snapping at her, assuming she was fake and weird and just trying to get something from nat, but nina was so persistent and just. friendly. it started making natalie feel warm.

nina's presence started to heal natalies inner little girl. she had it stolen from her time and time again, from her dad, her brother, her peers - the operator, too.

so the two are eventually actual friends. they'll text and play mobile phone games together. sometimes they'll just sit on call and nina will be talking her head off while nat does her own thing at home. one time nat was at tobys cabin and nina was talking about toby on speaker and toby walked in and was like 'hey nina' .... nina almost threw up she was so embarrassed.

nina loves visiting nats bar because everyone is always talking to nina and giving her attention and buying her drinks, and at first nat was irritated but it kinda got nat some better tips since the customers started realizing ninas her friend. so nat was pleased. LOL

nat was never the type to go shopping, but she'll follow nina around and sit while nina tries on clothes and carry around all her bags that she buys LOL... ninas made jokes about nat being boyfriend material and nat just flatout says smth about how nina should get over jeff cuz he would never.

nat is friends with jeff but she's oddly comfortable just telling nina that he's a piece of shit. and ninas always like NOOO U DONT GET IT U DONT SEE WHAT I DO and nats always just .. not... impressed..

nina's always inviting nat out to try new foods. nat grew up just eating bread and noodles with butter half the time so it's fun. nina always tries to pay bc 'well i invited you!!!'. sometimes toby tags along but he feels a way abt going in public places..

nina rarely visits jack cuz she has no reason to, but nat is friends with him so sometimes nina pops in and she's always like ^_^ HELLO TALL MYSTERIOUS SLIGHTLY MONSTEROUS MAN... <3... nat smacks the back of her head cuz she's being dumb and drooling over a bunch of rando freaks. ... . ok i love nina and she owes jeff nothing but she is def not loyal LOLLLL AND SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO FAWN OVER EVERYONE she's a fangirl at heart.

they watch a ton of shows together. nina got nat into horror kdrama stuff, but they have to watch in dub cuz nat cant read the subtitles fast enough . . . at first nina cringed but now she doesnt care.

nat's painted/drawn nina several times, and nina almost cries everytime. she's put the drawings up on her wall before but anytime nat's at her apartment, she takes it down bc 'i dont want my art on ur wall stop it' LOL... kinda rude but whatevs.

ugh theyre just so fucking cute guys im sorry i love them . holds them. brushes their hair.

[onebizarrekai]

Fic Author Interview

I've been tagged by @unmaskedcardinal! been a while since I talked about any of this stuff, particularly as a very inconsistent fic poster haha

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

the visible number linked to my account is currently 60, no idea if this is counting the bizarre saga from my archive account or not. technically I've posted more, but they aren't part of that number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

567,314.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ibvs season 1 & season 2 are (thankfully) the top two on my account, considering they're… well. ibvs.

number 3 is formal humiliation, a utmv fic back in 2019 where I wrote 3 oneshots all with different pairs surrounding the same idea. it's uh, it's something.

4 is behave, a saiouma despair disease fic I wrote sort of ironically in 2020. I did not realize this weird oneshot would be the thing that jumpstarted my kage obsession.

5, for some reason, is glow, a ds fic I wrote in 2019. I do not know why this is the ds fic with the most kudos. I am just really glad that it's not one of the ones I wrote in 2018.

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

lately I have been trying to respond to more comments, if they're on a recent enough story and I can think of a way to answer.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

most of the fics I've written right now have been Random Spot In Time fics with no articulate ending, but game over is pretty edgy. I think. I've written a similarly edgy ending but it's in an anonymous fic. it occurs to me that edgy doesn't necessarily mean angst, but it can.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

somehow everyone lived happily ever after in the bizarre saga, no f'ing idea how they managed that

7. Do you write crossovers?

I have. I have as comedies. I tend to take a bunch of guys and put them in a new setting that they definitely shouldn't be in. poopenster high is an example of this, but none of that has ever touched the internet and I haven't touched it in like 2 years.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

oh my god like. maybe once? maybe? I don't even think it counted as hate. I think like several years ago some rando complained that season 2 of ibvs was trying too hard to be funny. I barely remember what it actually said, I just remember it being annoying.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

when I was in my v3 phase I wrote some, I think "feelings with smut" describes most of it decently. the nature of the kcu meant it was like, almost all trippy.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I dunno. I hope not. I think I've had people repost stuff without permission.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

probably?? when I was a teen I had people say they wanted to translate my utmv fics, I don't know which ones actually followed through anymore.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

(sigh) yes.

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

oh god, I think I honestly just phase around stuff. I don't think I've ever permanently latched onto a pair, it's just that I've had fandoms and I have pairs that I've ended up liking in them and they just sort of stay that way even if stop paying attention to the fandom. I like most ships that happens to fit into my favorite criteria (that being protagonist/morally ambiguous deuteragonist or antagonist). if you asked me what my favorite series is, it would be an easier question. it's zelda. but I don't really have any permanent favorite ships in zelda.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

this is a scary question because I have a number of major wips that I want to get back into once I get back into writing and I refuse to accept that they may not get finished. I don't know. moose hill? for a little while I wanted to see if I could come up with a whole side story, but it is extremely unlikely that will happen. maybe a better example is a continuation of shuichi and kage's blackout adventure, which is pretty low on the priority list for if my brain every gets infected by danganronpa again.

15. What are your writing strengths?

the jokes are very important. I put my heart and soul into them. I hope that people can see my vision when I tell them.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

actually doing the writing getting from point A to point B. I come up with this whole outline and realize there's 2000 words of empty space that needs to happen. and it's like dull shit, too. just plain old events. like look at them, it's the lunching hours again. because lunch is a thing that happens every day. is it redundant to have lunch too many times? it can't possibly! it's the only time they can talk to each other! do I need to pan the camera again because this 3 sentence exchange has dragged on for too long? help

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

makes sense to me. or like, depends on the context. if the POV is a character who can speak the language, the reader should probably get to know what they're saying (think like, subtitled sections of a movie), unless it's really easy to decipher. but if the POV can't understand it, the reader shouldn't necessarily know. it gets more complicated if it takes place in a setting where they should logically be speaking a language that is not english for example. like, if they're in a country where they are not speaking english but the fic is in english. it wouldn't really make sense to insert interjections in their home language because they're not speaking english in the first place. I guess it all depends on what you're trying to convey.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

sonic. does it count. I started writing once I was old enough to type. but I think the first story I ever put online was zelda.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

on occasion I entertain the idea of writing for corpse party, but that's probably not going to happen.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I'm going to not include that one anonymous fic and my pile of unfinished longfic wips that I've been proud of in past years is way too big so… maybe game over?? it's complicated. I have a ton of comedy pieces that I love but they're just… not completed!!

[ feel free to fill this out yourself if you're a fic writer! ]

[checkitoutmikey]

TLB challenge: messed up kinks edition

tlb fandom! i have a challenge for you! let’s giggle together like a bunch of schoolgirls and tell each other about what kinks the boys have

and by that I mean the most disgusting barely-sex-related stuff your our dirty little minds can come up with.. the stuff not even the lost boys would think about practising in real life, or confessing to other boys

dont be shy. im gonna go first kay?

Warning: NSFW

David

Medical play: 

We all know David loves control. Physically restraining, bondage, dom/sub good time and all that stuff. But sometimes he thinks about taking that to whole another level. David really likes the idea of actually controlling someone‘s body. A person strapped to gyno chair, their legs spread wide with no chance of getting out of the binds, now that’s a scene he could get into. Giving the person pleasure and pain.

Literally controlling their body’s fuctions. Putting them to sleep with drugs. Using urethral sounds and catheter to stop them from emptying their bladder or making them pee when he decides.

And when a person really misbehaves? Nothing like severing some tendons to teach them a lesson.

==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡==

Dwayne

Maiesiophilia (yes, it has a name):

We all know Dwayne has breeding kink. But really deep deep inside his mind this kink turns into something much darker.

He enjoyes when a person is close to the end of pregnancy. The discomfort that comes with it. The joint pain, muscle pain, difficulty with sleeping, false contractions.

He gets off on the idea that the person who wishes to have a child needs to go through all that hell. Including the birth itself. Seeing a person going through a worst pain imaginable because they wanted their little baby more than they feared the whole process is doing something to him.

==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡==

Marko

Cannibalism:

Yep. Just straight up cannibalism.

He’s a beast in man’s body. It’s normal for all lost boys to take a sip when they are fucking some rando but with Marko it can be so much more horrifying. Because let’s be honest, he’s the most sadistic out of the entire pack and if the rest of them didn’t hold him back, there would be many more corpses killed in much more gruesome manner.

But sometimes he thinks about it. With someone who is really hot and they have amazing sex, but it doesn’t seem to scratch the itch. He doesn’t want to just fuck them, or taste them. He wants to posses them. Take them apart and keep them with him forever. Devouring parts of their bodies is a nice compromise.

==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡== ==≡≡≡Ω≡≡≡==

Paul

Dollification:

He just wants a doll, that’s it.

Just a pretty little thing to keep in his nest. Cute and quite. Something that doesn’t talk much. No need for it to move either. In fact, if it behaves like a proper doll, he might even take care of it. Keep it alive for a while.

He would use drugs and his mind powers to achieve this. Just scoop some poor soul from the boardwalk, put it in a nice dress and keep it. Sometimes to just look at it’s pretty face. Or cuddle it. Feed it.

He would get rid off it before it died. Suprisingly he doesn’t like the stench of rotting flesh.

and i’m tagging these brave souls, let’s see how messed up we can get here: @luv4fandoms, @misslavenderlady, @ghoulgeousimmaculate, @maskofmirrors, @prettywhenibleed, @6lostgirl6, @auntvamp, @sadlostgirl

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

The most frustrating thing to see in the HogLeg tags is people in the notes of TERFs and edgelords and Devil's Advocates and Consciencious Objectors trying to beat some sense into them.

Like, what happened with "don't feed the trolls", guys? Here's a helpful list of what to do when seeing specific types of braindead/inflammatory posts.

"Um if HogLeg is straight up killing people then gender clinics are mutilating children!" That's a TERF. Block, report if applicable, move on. This one wants to hurt you and takes pleasure in doing so. Hates you probably. Do not engagee.

"LMAO at those snowflakes being upset at a game! I'm gonna play it and nobody can stop me!" Edgelord. Block, report if applicable, move on. Do not engage, you are the snowflake they're trying to trigger. Do not give them the satisfaction.

"Um um I'm trans and POC and Jewish and this is getting out of hand, guys! You're radicalizing the normies by being mean to them for playing the game!" or "I'm trans and POC and Jewish and you're all insane for acting like wild dogs and attacking people for playing a stupid game! I'm not like this! Be normal!" At best, a sad creature still hoping that if they act "normal" enough, the power structures that be will let them live. At worst, a rando pretending to be these things in order to further their own argument. Yes, that still happens. Yes, even on Tumblr. Either way, move on. Block if you want. Do not engage with the bad faith arguments, they're either too stupid/insecure to get anything you say or they're actively aware of your arguments and know exactly why they disagree. Not worth your time.

"Uwu uwu *crying shitting throwing up* I love Hawwy Pottew and it's my hyperfixation/comfort thing and I will play it but I that doesn't mean I'm a transphobe! I promise I love my trans siblings! I am trans/am friends with transes! Please don't call me transphobic for simply enjoying some media! I'm full of love and affection and am an ally! Let me have my comfort thing! I'm so hurt by your mean accusations, but look, I'll donate to good causes and reblog trans rights posts!" Sad bottom-feeding slug, hasn't grown a spine yet and might never do so. Don't engage, this one's definitely not worth your time, your arguments might either pass through them (on account of it having no solid bone structure) or bounce off them (the skin is thicker than it seems, and it's just pretending to be soft and squishy but actually fully knows what it's doing and doesn't want to be held accountable).

Basically, stop, don't, turn around. Don't waste your time.

Anyway, to the rest of you: Keep on being haters and godspeed.

[mariatesstruther]

I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.

I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?

okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go

i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie

ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves

shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.

i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut

ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay

ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is

okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec

y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man

we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could

point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show

tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”

tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for

and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)

but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love

so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is

again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do

but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE

so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive

and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????

so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY

we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.

(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)

and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming

so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)

AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy

the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too

so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.

i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????

it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda

but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”

WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES

maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to

so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE

[utilitycaster]

Re: your tags

"#in which for some time now people have perceived criticism as an attempt to shut things down

#and like. that's a weak-ass stupid take. if your headcanon can be killed by a rando's disapproval then it deserves to be killed"

I think the context that you're missing because you're, from what I can tell, not the type of person to employ such tactics is that often people perceive criticism as an attempt to shut things down because those people use criticism as an attempt to shut things down and explicitly want their disapproval to kill other people's headcanons. Which is, yes, a weak-ass stupid tactic that betrays having the intellectual and moral strength of balsa wood, but here we are.

Oh no I am well aware that many people wish it were true that they could express disapproval and everyone around them would go "oh heavens! Clearly I must abide by your desires!" and are deeply offended when one says "um, who are you? anyway to each their own!" Like, every time I say "I'm not really interested in playing Pathfinder" some asshole I have never seen before and never will see after, because I will block them after our interaction, Kool-Aid-Mans through my inbox to tell me how Pathfinder personally rescued them from a burning car and how dare I and it's like. man. I simply don't vibe and you guys keep clowning around like this so now I complicatedly also do not vibe but I'm not going to show up to your Pathfinder game and set your GM on fire.

It's such a weak-ass stupid tactic to think everyone must bow to your likes and dislikes, and it's extremely common, and the people who employ it are always raging self-absorbed hypocrites who never accommodate other people's likes and dislikes. There's a comment on the post that sparked this that I didn't respond to but to bring that in, often fandoms or subgroups of fandoms have like, acceptable (or unacceptable) targets that they don't count as criticism even though it's just as much criticism, and a lot of the more bullshit fandom drama occurs when two of those subgroups with this same mentality clash and so, for example, the people who believe it is always okay to dunk on Essek crash into the people who believe it is always okay to dunk on Ludinus Da'leth and any fans in the former camp who like Ludinus act like they've been stabbed even as they're pulling precisely the same shit on Essek and vice versa and really it's like. All of you are dishing it out, and none of you can take it, and none of you mean it when you talk about positivity, and could you all just stop being such fucking children.

But also like...believe me, there's definitely things I'd love to see shut down (case in point, all the above behavior), but I do not labor under the misconception that I can wave a magic wand and say "man this sucks" and everyone will listen. Would be great, honestly, if I could! Would be great. But that's not the reality, so if I say something sucks it is simply because I feel like letting it be known that I, personally, think it sucks, and if people read more into that, sounds like a them problem, and if they expect me to stop when they say something sucks, also sounds like a them problem.

[unreadpoppy]

Internet 101, Fandoms and curating your online experience

I saw some stuff happening both on tumblr and on twitter (and sometimes even on instagram) regarding some fandom stuff and I wanted to make a post about, but in more of a "How to keep your peace of mind and create a healthy space" sort of post. These are just some things that I do that allow me to have a better experience on the internet as a whole, but especially on fandom spaces, and idk, I wanted to share bc navigating this sort of thing can be hard and it doesn't hurt to try and help.

One thing that I've learned very early on by people who had been on the internet for longer than me is that you do not feed the trolls. Listen. People will post shit to stir the pot, and you giving them attention is falling into their bait.

And I get it, I'm human too, I see someone talking shit and I feel the urge to give them a lenghty reply but at some point you gotta stop and think: is this worth it? like, i'm getting mad over a rando on the internet who'll probably just laugh at me. Even if we really feel like answering, it's probably always better to let it go.

And while I'm on the topic, I also want to say the following: no matter how many good arguments you have, no matter how eloquent you are, you cannot change people's minds. I've tried it and all it did was make me stressed. And especially with regards to bigots, they will not change their minds, so don't give them your time and your peace of mind because they do not care about you or your feelings. I'm a queer disabled latina woman, I get it, it sucks and it will always suck, but people will not change what they think because of lenghy ass paragraph someone on the internet sent them, so it's better to just...move on.

And by move on, I do mean do not interact in any way, shape or form. Just...scroll past it. Because it's not worth it, it truly is not, and more likely then not, even by just giving the post or person a small bit of attention, you could cause a whole situation. Do not give people clout, because then they'll get the satisfaction of both having attention AND causing such a reaction from another person.

Like, speaking from experience here, I have received a few hateful/mean spirited anons on my inbox over the years and you wanna know something? You will not find those asks on my blog because I have a 0 tolerance for hate anons. Replying to them only generates more hate anons (trust me, I've seen that happen to other people). When you show someone that you're not affected by the shit they're saying, they'll move on because you are no longer a target. This is why is so important to know when to not interact and just continue moving on.

Still on this topic but more related to fandom. People will have different opinions then you. People will have different HCs then you. People will misinterpret your favorite character. Hell, I've seen takes on my faves that honestly insult my intellect and you know what I did?

Let it go. Just scrolled past, made a mental note not to interact with that person, because again, people won't change their minds. And people are entitled to have their opinions, and enjoy characters in a different way then you do, and the best thing to do is not give them your time. Just don't. It's much better (and probably healthier) to spend your time interacting with people you like and who you can talk to then try to change a person's opinion and pottentialy instigate a fight.

For the sake of not making the same point again and again, I want to talk about blocking people, bc blocking people is the easiest way to curate your experience. There is no morality in blocking. You're not some evil bastard or a super hero because you blocked someone, so don't ascribe morality to that. Just block whoever (and whatever, because blocking tags exist) you don't want to see and move on.

Finally, my last advice is: somethings are best kept private and by private I mean get yourself some friend who you can just talk shit about to. Listen, sometimes the urge to be like "this bitch online is an idiot" is BIG and the best thing you can do about it, in a way that won't cause a fight or whatever, is to go to some friend and say "let me talk shit for a few minutes". Trust me, IT WORKS. So many times I've been tempted to say stuff, only to go to a friend and talk about the stuff and then boom, I was done. I was okay. So yeah, there's stuff that is better to be sent in a groupchat then to be posted about.

This post is longer than I intended but I feel like we should try to just have fun? This is the internet, the good part about it is that we can choose who we can engage with and what we want to say, and it's way more productive to spend your time with people that matter, that you care about and that make you happy then stressing over people who simply do not care and who will not change.

Anyways, peace out

[itsladykit]

I posted 2,143 times in 2022

That's 1,349 more posts than 2021!

119 posts created (6%)

2,024 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@deaderrose

@musicalhell

@bishonenrockmysocks

@thebibliosphere

@chroniclethologica

I tagged 2,112 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#sandman - 86 posts

#my work - 73 posts

#the sandman - 73 posts

#writing - 62 posts

#ofmd - 57 posts

#our flag means death - 56 posts

#not my work - 50 posts

#awesome art - 47 posts

#undertale - 44 posts

#boost - 43 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but also…sometimes it’s nice to find that sweetspot in boomer humor that allows for people to decide to just circumvent the complication of

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sometimes, a mutual will surprise you. Unpleasantly.

And you just gotta unfollow and write a vague vent post about it.

25 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#4

You know what?

I don’t think Tumblr should give writing advice like they’re offering absolutes. Some things work sometimes, but sometimes they won’t.

It reminds me of all advice I grew up with about creating characters without making them “Mary Sues”. You know what you get when you follow that advice to the letter? Boring ass characters.

Just write. Write your shit. Don’t worry about using “said” too much, or using too many adjectives. Don’t even worry about plot holes or writing something believable. Just. Fucking. Write.

Then, when you’re finished, tuck the thing away and bring it out once you’ve forgotten most of it. Now you can see it through a reader’s eyes and notice that the adjectives are distracting or you forgot to resolve a plotline or the romance is forced. Half the job of writing is editing, but they’re two different hats. Put them on one at a time and stop trying to make your first draft perfect.

(Obviously this format doesn’t work as well when writing fanfic or episodic pieces. I still think getting the bones down first is a good place to start. Fill in the flesh and tendons when you give it another look. Be patient with yourself and stop trying to mold yourself to some rando’s rules.)

28 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

#3

You got any thoughts, headcanons, or whatever about Imp you haven't had a chance to share before? And/or about Hordak and Entrapdak as well.

(Also they changed the ask window, it looks like the text post editor now and it's weird. Which has nothing to do with anything, I was just surprised by it.)

^_^ I’ll have to check it out in browser, now that I have a functional computer again.

Hmmm….

I don’t think my Imp headcanons are outside the common interpretation. Most of it cribbed from a @cruciferousjex fic, which I highly recommend. (Link HERE.)

I think the most significant thing about Imp is that he very much symbolizes Hordak’s commitment to being different from Prime, even before he makes the conscious decision to split from him. He doesn’t discard Imp because of his disabilities; he accommodates them. I very much headcanon that Imp is incapable of speech, but—in addition to sign language because I fucking love sign language—Hordak created the voice modulator that allows Imp to “speak”. He accommodated Imp’s disabilities in a way Prime never would have accommodated him.

I suppose my most unique headcanon about Imp is that he prefers the modulator despite its limitations. He knows sign language, but he just enjoys using others’ voices to speak.

39 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

#2

Alright, I’m resisting the urge to write for What We Do In The Shadows, so….

(Beware spoilers for season 3 finale)

I know everyone is completely upset that we were robbed of the happy Nandermo road trip we all wanted, but please imagine—

A tense reunion after some time has passed. (Let’s call it a year.) Perhaps after a dust-up of some sort. (I’d be lying if I wasn’t visualizing Nandor being given the chance to showcase his own warrior prowess. Him and Guillermo back to back, fighting baddies? Please.)

Anyway—Guillermo expects to settle back into his role as familiar bodyguard, but he quickly realizes that…Nandor doesn’t need his help with all the little (and big) things Guillermo used to do. Nandor’s had a year on his own—perhaps a hard year on his own—and he’s recovered his independence.

At first, Guillermo’s happy about this. Less work, right? But then he really starts to realize…Nandor doesn’t need him. And that is crushing, because no matter what speeches he makes about “found family”, in his heart of hearts, he fears the vampires kept him around because they needed him, not because they’re fond of him.

As he’s starting to spiral, though, Nandor asks to speak to him. And he doesn’t ask him as he would an underling. He doesn’t demand or whine. It’s a request, and not one Guillermo knows how to deny.

They talk. It’s awkward at first. Stilted small talk between people that are re-learning each other. Guillermo loses patience first, and asks what Nandor wants to talk to him about. He’s not sure what he’s expecting, but it’s not what he gets—an offer to turn him. Here and now, no trip to the Tigris needed. Because Guillermo has earned it. It’s offered formally, stiffly, and without feeling.

Guillermo breaks. It’s everything he ever wanted but in the worst way possible. He shouts his frustration and his anger and every emotion he’s repressed for more than a decade.

But he’s not the only one. Nandor breaks too. And is finally, finally willing to admit what he feels for Guillermo and how terrified he was that Guillermo would leave him when he was turned. But he’s had a year away, and now he knows that he can bear the pain when Guillermo leaves again, even though it will break his heart. And Guillermo has earned this, and Nandor…Nandor is strong enough now to let him go.

When they settle, they realize that they’re both idiots that they both have strong feelings for each other. And now…they can enter into a relationship as equals, both wanting the other more than they need the other.

57 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

While I very much don’t mind the interpretation that Hob and Morpheus have romantic feelings for each other…there’s a big part of me that really wishes there was more appreciation for the developing friendship. I mean. Listen—

Dream starts this whole thing like a scientist observing a weird little bug. He’s disdainful of humanity—at this stage, he has more in common with Desire than Death—and puts Hob in a position he fully expects Hob to regret. This isn’t a gift. Not from Dream’s perspective.

It’s a classic story, really; deity gives human exactly what he wants, only for the human to realize this is more curse than gift. Dream’s just fulfilling that archetypal role, and he’s waiting to see how the story will conclude. He’s waiting to see Hob come to that realization and how he’ll react when he does.

Of course, this very classic story is turned perfectly on its head. Dream keeps waiting for the turn. He’s waiting for the story to reach its natural conclusion, the only conclusion he can see. And it never does. Further, as time passes, Dream stops seeing Hob as an object of study or an archetype in a story. He begins to see him as a person—in some ways, an extraordinary person—and eventually, as a friend.

That progression is beautiful. Again, I’m not trying to sink anyone’s ship, I just wish that slow growth from disdain to fascination to respect to real friendship wasn’t brushed over so often.

413 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dread-master-styrak]

Hell Year

So most of 2023 and first four months of 2024 were fucking hell. I barely remember it. All thanks to this one fucking person.

I eventually cut them out of my life. They were actively dragging me down and their presence was a huge mental drain on me.

Tw: fictional rape, real suicide attempts, real and fictional self harm.

I will probably edit this post to get my thoughts in order. I'm not telling this story to garner pity, I'm telling it to explain why I was probably acting erratically over the past year.

I think me deleting all my SWTOR art and my Tumblr were partially caused by me being fucking worn out by this person's demand I talk to them every waking minute of my day.

I was in pain but didn't see that that "friend" was the main source of pain and exhaustion, and so I lashed out at the next best thing.

Please please heed the trigger warnings and the mature content tag!

I don't know what to call them. I suppose "friend" will have to suffice, for ease of telling this story.

I met them last year. Barely two weeks into talking they called me their best friend. They also dumped horrific trauma onto me within those two weeks.

They put me on a pedestal just cause I showed them basic human kindness and politeness I try to show people by default. They kept saying how they don't need other friends. And how their mood gets better with me around.

They expected non stop 24 \ 7 interaction and would threaten or even attempt self harm and suicide when I said I need space.

I'm very introverted. I REALLY need a lot of alone time and space to recharge. Do you see the problem?

It's difficult to put into words how worn down I got. Several months of non stop RP. Several months of having to constantly comfort this person. Several months without being allowed to rest in peace and quiet. I stopped writing. My art slowed down a lot.

We both were into 40k. So they wormed their way into roleplaying as our characters. They had cool character concepts, but they went out of the window the moment the RP started. They just turned into submissive anime waifus who just want to be isolated with my characters forever and have a traditional family with babies despite being fucking grimdark cyborgs. Like the player, they said they don't need anyone else. And they all had nearly identical angsty backstories filled with rape.

They kept casually shoving rape into the RP, dropping it on both their own and my characters.

Now, I don't have a problem with dark topics in fiction. You can write or draw whatever. Appropriate tags and warnings are appreciated. But RP is a whole nother beast. It takes two or more people to RP.

I mean, shit. One of my favourite stories ever is Berserk. However. There is a big fucking difference between choosing to read Berserk and reading through the Eclipse, or writing the Eclipse and giving people a choice whether or not they want to read it, and being fucking coerced into roleplaying the Eclipse. As Griffith, no less.

I went with it for two reasons. First, I figured out it was some kind of catharsis for them. Second, my options were either rp raping their OC or have a multiple hours long fight. In which they would threaten self harm and suicide, and be passive aggressive. Which in turn is a huge trigger for me as I have to deal with it from family IRL.

Here's the grim tally of characters who got raped in RP for no fucking reason:

My Kenaz, by slaaneshi cultists on their forge world, for like several days straight

Their character R - in their backstory

R again, by their former mentor (makes no sense for admechs to be so controlled by fleshy desires). Dahan (played by me) killed him.

Their character D, same exact backstory as R

D again, by some rando tech priest, who also got killed by Dahan

D yet again, in a horrible alt timeline. Dahan had to watch before breaking out and killing the perps.

Their character F, in her backstory. Slightly different from the other two.

F again, by the same Slaaneshi cultists as Kenaz

F yet again, by a stand in for that exfriend's ex's character. He got, you guessed it, killed by Dahan.

F yet again, by Skoll because I guess the player gets off to that shit.

Kotov, played by me, by a fellow admech(makes no bloody sense)

Irbis, played by me, by the character who was supposed to be his love interest.

My Skoll, by a slaaneshi cultist.

Oh, also: if I gathered my little spine sprout and said no to a scenario or ship for whatever reason, they'd throw a fit and torment me with graphic descriptions of their character mutilating themself. Or draw their character mutilated and post it somewhere I could see.

I eventually got them to stop shoving rape into every plot, until...

The crowning fucked up cherry on top of the shit rape cake. They pushed a scenario where my character Irbis would have a smut related modification installed in him against his will and against his character. And it was implied that their character was the one secretly behind it. Their character was supposed to be Irbis's love interest.

And to add insult to injury, the character Scorn so gleefully turned into a rapist was a character I gave them.

Their obsessive adoration towards me scared me. I was / am scared they'd try to find me IRL and do something horrible to me, as the physical boundaries of my body are the only ones they haven't trampled on.

I was afraid to leave, fearing they'd kill themself and the blood would be on my hands. And I got so worn down by them throwing fits and threatening to hurt themselves, or getting passive aggressive in the same exact way my mom does, that I just kinda shut down and went with whatever they wanted unless completely drained.

I'm angry at them for taking advantage of me. I'm angry at myself for letting them do so. I saw the red flags but pushed on because I felt responsible for this person.

They were incredibly insecure and I guess jealous? Constantly whining about stuff they didn't get while "everyone else around them got cool stuff".

They threw fits over:

me posting art at quicker rate than they did;

me having cool stuff in SWTOR because I played the game for like 11 years at that point;

Me not wanting to RP SWTOR stuff cause I have a complicated relationship with SWTOR (that one ended up with them posting art of their character gruesomely decapitated where I could see it)

Me begging for time and space alone to fucking rest (that one ended up with them attempting suicide!)

not having money to buy an expensive clothing item

someone in the same room having an ipad and drawing on it.

Me trying to say something nice about their characters and saying they looked kind

At one point they tried to kill themself. I managed to get them to stop. I managed to convince them to get help. I felt so relieved about it.

However...

It came out later thar thet lied to me FOR MONTHS about going to therapy. Which kinda put a big fat question about literally everything about them because if they lied about that FOR MONTHS, what else could have they lied about?

I shit you not, they even mentioned getting made up homework from their made up therapist over the course of the six or so months they kept the lie up. And they passed off info from online articles as shit they learned in therapy.

Somehow they had the brain capacity to remember everything needed to maintain an elaborate lie for MONTHS but then they couldn't be arsed to remember details about their own OCs or my OCs. Priorities I guess.

During the same fight they also tormented me with graphic descriptions of physical harm done to them by a family member, as well as graphic descriptions of self harm and suicide. They knew full well I can't handle graphic descriptions / depictions of violence a lot of the time.

The final straw that killed this relationship was them dropping 40k as an interest. They replaced their entire personality with nutcrackers from lethal company.

They kept trying to show me art of them. They sent me screenshots of nsfw messages they sent someone else about the nutcrackers.

I asked them to not show me that. And even then it was this constant hemming and hawing about wanting to show me stuff I explicitly said I didn't want to see.

That last one was the last straw that resulted in a fight where we mutually blocked each other. EXCEPT, TWO DAYS LATER who do I see in my art page's notification, but A PAINFULLY OBVIOUS ALT of theirs?

Like, good job burning any remnants of any bridge that could stay between us, dumbass.

And like, I feel bad for hating them because they are obviously very mentally ill. But also I left because they wouldn't leave me alone even when I begged for it. They lied to me. They coerced me into roleplaying rape scenarios under threats of self harm and suicide.

Leaving was the best decision for me. I feel much calmer. My art block went away. I even started writing again.

I recently learned that it's healthier to express emotions than to bottle them up and let them fester, and I have a lot of pent up emotions about this.

Despite EVERYTHING I miss them sometimes. Same way I miss the SWTOR exfriend. Despite everything, we had some good times, and the quiet feels a bit empty sometimes.

I know I can't go back. It wouldn't be good for anyone involved. Especially me.

I hope this person forgets me and gets help. They desperately need it.

I briefly spoke to them to see if they have some files I lost. We talked. They seemed to be apologetic, but given their capacity to lie, what's the worth of those apologies?

Apparently i was the only one blessed with being coerced into roleplaying SA under threat of self harm, suicide, and multiple hours long fights. What fun. /Sarcasm.

I bought some character designs (a fairly common practice among creatives online) from them, and they tried to charge me twice for one of them, claiming they forgot. Jury is out on whether or not its the truth or they just wanted to squeeze a bit more money from me lol.

I went back to blocking them after a brief fight where I confronted them about everything they did and that it hurt me. Of course, they started whining that they don't wanna hear about it.

I don't regret the fight or going back to blocking them. It was my plan to do so, after my dealings with them were done, although my plan was less aggressive. I just wanted to fade out. But leaving with a bang will do too.

I hate them. I want them to know that I hate them, and to know exactly why. My fucking life is now separated into Before Them, The Hell Year, and After Them.

Never got my files back even tho I distinctly remember giving them an archive. Just got a bunch of random shit they saved from the internet, some of it not even mine.

Also, Scorn, if you see this: FUCK YOU.

How's that chatroom that roleplays astra militarum by harassing people for being weird or queer or furries treating ya, by the way?

You raped my soul. You took advantage of my kindness. You lied to me for months.

I hope the people you're using for your entertainment and free therapy see that you are a leech. A leech that attaches itself to people and sucks out their personality, beliefs, interests, and energy.

I hope you end up alone for the rest of your life. Because it is your biggest fear. And I hope it comes true.

[read-write-review]

cool writing tipz

tools

google docs reads your files and deletes them without warning if they're too sexy, so don't use it for creative writing anymore. ms word is almost as good, & it has yet to sanction/censor any of the advertiser-unfriendly stuff i keep on it. i use a pirated 2016 copy on desktop, the free app on mobile, & onedrive to connect the two. plus obsidian (mobile) for quick notes. see what tools are out there & what works for you.

as search engines enshittify & also to stay focused, you can set up home screen shortcuts for apps & websites you use for writing e.g. merriam-webster dict, cambridge dict, oxford dict, wikipedia, wiktionary.org, thesarus.com, rhymezone.com, tfwiki.net.

drafting

drafting is writing linearly to the end of a section without stopping to pick the next word or going back to change things. trying to edit as you go can kill your momentum & make you lose focus, forget things, get frustrated, etc. it can be hard to drop this habit, but it's worth the effort.

try using [bracketed text] as placeholders for stuff you don't know, don't remember, or just don't wanna deal with yet. this can be anything from a single word to whole sections of the work. it might not look pretty, but only the final draft needs to look pretty.

editing

try doing structural editing before line editing & plot before prose, AKA big-picture stuff before details. it will save you from some tedious back & forth like correcting typos only to then rewrite the whole scene and have to correct new typos, etc.

no work is wasted. don't delete anything permanently. as you edit, move the changed & deleted parts into dedicated "scrap" documents, esp if you liked or put a lot of effort into them. manage file versions and back up your files on & offline. this part of the process can feel tedious at first, but it pays off in peace of mind.

sharing/posting

you don't need to share or post any of your work, or keep it online/public. it's ok to keep it private or restricted to chosen readers. it's ok to make private/public versions, sfw/nsfw versions, softcore/hardcore versions, etc. it's ok to edit after posting.

ao3 > wattpad > tumblr > other sites/platforms. using these sites is not an endorsement of their owners' shitty actions, it's just what we have rn. you can even disclaim that on your posts if you want.

please take some time to learn how to format your posts to make them accessible, use content warnings, searchable tags, & follow the distribution/attribution rules of any illustrations.

it's not inherently spammy to crosspost, repost, & self-promo your work, ask for shares, & other "engagement" stuff to help your work reach more people, and human spam > AI slop anyway.

feedback

it's ok to disclose you're new to writing/sharing your writing, tell people if you're easily discouraged, & ask them to be nice. it's ok to ask people to clarify their feedback. learn to discern good/bad-faith criticism, ignore the bad faith, & appreciate the good faith.

don't worry about numbers (wordcount, views, likes, comments, etc.), esp if you have a family/personal history of addiction. you're not a content machine; you're a creative writer. this is not a plausible path to money & popularity, so don't hold your breath & just try to enjoy some part of the process and/or result for its own sake.

fanfic

don't worry about "canon compliance" or staying "in character". you might wanna clarify what changes you made, but you don't need to justify any of them. reasonable readers will understand this is your personal interpretation, & if they don't like it, they can critique it in good faith or stop reading. there's no "right" or "wrong" here, just canon & non-canon. Word of God = Word of Some Guy.

conclusion

some things you can only figure out with time, practice, & experience no matter how much info or advice you get, be it from randos like me or rich & famous published authors. some people will never stop trying to convince you otherwise; they'll insist that "one weird trick" will fix all your problems. they're either lying or ignorant. happy writing!

hii! any tips for getting into writing? (specifically fanfiction) other than basic grammar tips and stuff? been wanting to get into it for ages but sometimes i struggle a lot with wording or i get too repetitive (feel like that comes from masking tbh) so im curious if anyone has any pointers for it or for getting into it or navigating that community cause im completely new (other than just reading fics here and there)

[infamously-winking]

Rules: Answer 21 questions, then tag 21 people you want to get to know better.

I was tagged by @oxycontln​, sorry I have taken so long to write this

Nickname: Snarbie, Ari, R, Scout

Zodiac: Pisces

Height: 5′7″

Last Thing Searched: what hs aspect Skylla Koriga was

Favorite Musicians: Imagine Dragons, Mystery Skulls, Daft Punk, Chvrches, The Garden, Bastille, Panic!, Idk,,, probably some others I’m very bad at remember musicians, it’s why I listen to music through Pandora Radio

Song Stuck in Head: probably a song by James Roach..

If you had a time machine, would you go back in time or visit the future?: Depends, what type of time travel are we talking about? Simple linear? Or does making changes in the past cause a splintering effect? Because like, I just wanna see the Library of Alexandria but I know I'd stick out cause something weird

Do I Get Asks: oh no, none. What would someone even want to ask me on any of my blogs?

Following: 774, I have no clue what most them are at this point, hopefully good content?

Would you rather be rich or famous?: Rich, being famous seems to drive people literally mad

Amount of Sleep: Either 3 hours or 12-14, I don’t make the rules. The nights I get 7-8 I feel like my body is gunna play a laugh track when I hope that it becomes regular.

Lucky Number: 22, 11:11

What I’m Wearing: faded skinny jean, blue baseball t, batman seatbelt belt, and purple/blue flannel

Dream Job: I really hope I can work on A.I. one day and actually contribute to the growth and ethics of the field. Maybe dabble in art on the side and finally draw a small webcomic like I’ve always wanted to

Dream Trip: Probably visit Canada more thoroughly, knowing my dad was born there and that my grandparents grew up there makes wish I could visit 

If you were an animal, what would you be? I like to say either a cat or rodent, but all my friends tell me I’m an owl

Favorite Food: rice, any kind of it, cooked anyway. I’m not picky I just really love this beautiful grain

What are some of your favorite books/films/shows/games/etc?:

favorite literature: Probably 1984, Scythe, Nervous Conditions, Homestuck & Hiveswap, I love to read but I’m also dyslexic my I can’t say my selection pool is too large, there are more I want to mention but my brain has decided to hide all the titles

favorite shows: Basically every popular cartoon; SU, Miraculous Ladybug, Hilda, She-ra, Trollhunters, 3Below, etc because I’m sad and need some optimism. Queer Eye, The Good Place, Good Omens, I’m just going through my recently watched list at this point though.

favorite games: proabably LoZ Breath of the Wild, other Zelda games are chill but this ones extra dope. The Pokemon games always steal my heart. The Fire Emblem series is also p good

Play Any Instruments: I wish

Languages: Just English

Describe Yourself as Aesthetics: completely cringe yet oddly endearing, having your walls filled with posters of your favorite things, over indulging for the hell of the moment, the inspiration you get when your friends start egging you on, big fluffy clouds against a cartoonishly blue sky, the one childish bracelet you’ve worn for years and refuse to take off, the midaugust halloween hype, the mid 70′s breeze on a late summer evening through a california valley, that one item you lose for months at time only to find it like nothing happened to it, having your bedroom window face west, a cluttered desk with programming books and art supplies, falling asleep to escape to your dreams, a nest made of pillows

i tag: @plot-twist-im-gay @sanctumofwaluigi @loadingboy @golly-that-beat-is-dandy @dreamsicccle @kissyemoji @xasannni @husband-in-law

sorry I don’t have more to tag I just don’t have many mutuals/people who seem to like the stuff I rapidly reblog into their faces. I hope I didn’t bug you all too much with this, but it was fun to type out aesthetics; I’ve never done it* ^^

[icharchivist]

guys... don’t let random posts made by random strangers you don’t know that just tell you “this harmless behavior you do is cringe” get to you, that’s not worth it. You don’t have to justify yourself as for that, you don’t have anything to prove especially to some random strangers who try to order you around. Please.

[crackinwise]

Someone else made the point that for all the show makes Ramona the main character, she's still defined mostly as "girl who dates people" and I agree with that. All her flashbacks and motivations are about people she dated and finding the ahole she went on one date with so she can be with him. Even her future self revolves around cleaning up after Old Scott and WAITING for him to contact her for years. What else does she do?? Knives finds a whole passion and music career at 17, but poor Ramona has Scott brainworms forever like a bad std. As if people never have chemistry ("sparks") with trainwrecks that are bad for them.

I remembered i'm also confused about Wallace. He's supposed to be cool, not cold. In the comic (and movie somewhat) he's still a friend to Scott & helps him out. I don't know why we're given that mini arc with future!Wallace avoiding his husband? There was never a reveal or payoff there. They could have just said his husband was on a business trip to Japan? Or was it meant to be a thin contrast of what adults actually do in strained relationships? And when we're finally shown who his husband will be it's literally some plainly-drawn rando. Wallace doesn't get a trophy husband? Well, he kinda is a trophy husband, but just to Scott bc of the Nintendo job. We don't see what makes him appealing to Wallace besides those gd lazy sparks. (EDIT: omg was that supposed to be Mobile? istg I forgot his wallpaper ass existed)

Then there's the fans complaining in the tags that critical people just don't understand having flawed characters. But....most every character in the series is flawed. They're great. The only character people complain about is Scott. (Maybe Ramona, but I've seen that critique be more for how they handled her.) For all the talk about the narrative making it clear Scott is a selfish loser, the show still rewards him and gives him less growth than even the movie did. Which is ultimately fine; not every piece of fiction needs to have a moral lesson. But don't promise a big condemnation if you're not going to deliver.

Most of the condemnation is directed at weird evil!Scott, which present Scott considers a completely different person he'll never become. He doesn't stop and reflect while considering evil!Scott; it's Ramona who does. The only criticism Scott gets directly is about Knives, which is the BARE MINIMUM, and Wallace telling him to GTFO, which bounces off of him like a wall.

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was going so well. He was "dead" and everyone else was much better off. (Even Wallace repeatedly banging someone dressed as Scott, which I thought was gonna say something about him but guess not lmao)

Shame about the last few eps. Just kinda says "oh Ramona was the cause of every ex turning evil and Scott being the evilest of all, just for leaving them." But that's not even true? The sentiment comes out of evil!Scott's mouth, for one thing, and for two: it's shown two exes are just prone to being cartoonishly evil as personality traits, and the Twins started off evil-ish on their own. Ramona hurting Roxie and Lucas were really the only things I saw she had to fix, which she got a chance to do thanks to Scott being fkn gone. Old Scott's interference unintentionally made life better for everyone else.

But Ramona was a witness to what a selfish douchebag Scott always is (Wallace and Knives) and the super-dickbag-saiyan he will become if she ever so much as separates for a break, and instead of saying NOPE early to the whole mess, she thinks the answer is just to never walk away from him?? When she said she chose herself I thought she'd blast off to live her best single life somewhere alone. I know it's established she makes awful decisions but damn, dude.

I'd say it was a complete waste of my time if it wasn't animated so pleasingly.