#or even about the limited choices
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You don't understand how much I miss good grocery stores.
#its not even about having familiar snacks and stuff anymore#or even about the limited choices#its about quality control#even the shittiest star market in boston you could tell how the quality of a product was and it would be similar across the same store brand#here? nope. a bag of rice- one time its fine and the next refill you get it doesnt cook the same way despite being the exact same brand#the vegetables and especially the fruit are terrible here. even when theyre in season.#how are these people not constantly vitamin and nutrient deficient?#also i swear that the seasons are not as strong. especially spicy seasons like chili powder.#the difference between my indian room mate's chili powder her mom sent and the one i bought here is astonomical and theyre both 'medium'
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"aang didn't tell katara to forgive just to let her anger out and let go" ?!?!?!?! litcheraclly the WHOLE false dichotomy presented by the narrative of the episode (using AANG as the primary mouthpiece) is forgiveness vs revenge like please watch the episode again and pay actual attention to the words coming out of aang's mouth.... so many tsr takes ignore the words in aang's mouth to interpret him more positively while putting words in zuko's mouth to view him more negatively, all the while pretending katara never said anything at all about HER OWN TRAUMA
#tsr actually manages to achieve some really profound nuance despite the limitations of the simplistic moral narrative its partly pushing#and yet the takes are SO fucking rancid my fucking beloathed forever#holly talks bs#aang critical#katara#zuko#i fully believe that if aang hadn't known or said shit about k and z hunting down yon rha she would've made the exact same choice#to not kill out of mercy but not forgive out of justice#because its not aang or even zuko that knows katara best#but katara that knows herself best#she did not almost lose herself in tsr#she FOUND herself#and to quote zuko#she did it on her own
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@vulpixisananimal sifstem art jumpscare!! more specifically i got bored and decided to mess around with sif and mal's outfits.
#my art#this is how I think theyd present themselves either in person or in headspace. the slouchers <3#sifs outfit is simple; the boots i always give them (but with star laces for funsies); loose sweater; simple pants#the pants are Meant to be jeans but isat doesnt Specifically Have Jeans so. theyre just Pants.#the sweater is slightly looser bc sif doesnt seem like a Form Fitting Clothes kinda guy to me but hes Trying to be more open#on particularly good days theyll roll the sleeves up or wear a sleeveless one methinks#even if everyone Knows abt the self-harm scars its hard to Look at them.#i also associate them being more open with them not wearing an eyepatch. esp bc hes the only one of the three to go without it#for mal (or 'ami' as i like to call it) i wanted smth reminiscent of a mourning outfit bc mal du pays means homesickness#and i picked 'ami' as a nickname bc ami means friend :] at least according to my basic translator. i dont speak french <3#ami's outfit being dark is also reminiscent of the inversion thing its got going on in canon.#ik the veil is starred in the original but i think ami would want the fewest reminders of home. on account of The Issues#(actually if i can come back to sifs laces sif also has issues with reminders of it bc of the memory loss but the shoelaces are His Choiceā#āwhich gives them a form of control over it and they can keep it subtle or undo it if he wants. which makes it easier)#anyway. i put amis hair in an updo and smoothed the hat bc i think ami wants to be Unremarkable. Unknown. so it keeps its silhouette Simple#(it still keeps the pins. theres smth comforting abt them. they shine like stars and theyre not stars and theyre not Home. but theyre You.)#and i kept the long hair i gave loop. dont ask me why its so long when the canon hair is short. maybe their hair kept growing over the loop#OH and i drew ami in a side profile bc Silhouette and also bc i think itd make an effort to keep people away from its blind spot#andddd i think thats about it? plus i actually managed to keep this one within a reasonable timeframe.#if their hair changes lengths/the proportions change between drawings. no they dont š peace and love and body craft#OH AND YOU FINALLY GET TO SEE WHAT I MEAN ABT SIFS BOOTS BC THESE ARE THE BOOTS I GAVE THEM ON MY REGULAR DESIGN ARENT THEY NEAT#i did actually try to give sif a different font but nothing Works for them like the pixel font. i cant explain it.#i think 'ami' would be a nickname that mira gives it. bc. shes Fantasy French. and its a sort of 'youre more than your yearning/loss' thing#me every time i think abt sifstem: yeah they just rotate in my head. nothing major#me every time i talk abt sifstem: oh hey im almost at tag limit again#au Good what can i say
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since i played disco elysium the only way i've been able to describe the feeling it instills is "shrimp emotions" because i really just have no words for it. none do it justice. melancholy, catharsis, hope, regret. there's so much and it's so interwoven
#far and away the best game i've ever played#i also have a whole essay floating in my head somewhere about the decision to make harry his own distinct character#you can try to choose the 'good' options or make choices you would make#but you're always haunted by what he did before the game even started#and limited by dialogue options based on his psyche#amazing use of the medium#cricket chirps#disco elysium
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ngl i've been kinda surprised by the lack of veilguard stuff i've seen on my dash since it released - i've very thoroughly given up on it, but even ppl who seemed hyped about it have largely just... not been posting abt veilguard at all.
then i looked in the da critical tag and, uh, yeah. i can understand why. it's not an actively bad game, but it sounds to be very... shallow and mcu-ified? i'll admit i had basically given up on veilguard, but i did kinda want bioware to prove me wrong. not that i would've bought it anyway given the way they've treated their company veterans. it's just such a shame.
#weirdly though reading ppl's thoughts on veilguard makes me want to continue my da:o replaythrough even more#origins is *so* good#it may have its issues and god knows i've spoken about them#but you can see the creativity seeping out from the limitations of 2009 tech#bioware#dragon age critical#da2 did its damn best too given how quickly they had to crunch that game to release#inquisition even had its moments as much as i don't care for it#anyway. thank fuck i still have obsidian inxile larian and owlcat for great rpgs#see i want to add logic artists to that list bc i've been playing expeditions rome recently#and my god. i'd guess the budget is a bit/fair bit below owlcat's typical budget for their games#but it's still really fun and playing as a female character is a delightfully (and sometimes depressingly) impactful choice#BUT the studio got fucking dissolved by the founders so they could create a new studio focused on the goddamn blockchain#zero points for the founders all the points to the actual employees who clearly loved the setting they were working with
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i have finished watching g-witch and Belmeria is person I relate the most to.
#she has no strengh to admit her wrongs and act to redeem herself#and i love it because i usually feel the same way#feel like i dont have any choice rather than follow other people orders... and its not truth but it usually feels really limiting#because standing for myself is not the immediate option my brain suggests for me#even though she has a criminal record for conducting experiments on humans she doesnt see herself as villain#but she doesnt think her actions are good so... as long as she gets no punishment she proceeds doing questionable things she was assigned 4#because she believes she is under control of people with more power and thats how hierarchy works#i like her little bravery in ep 23... in danger she tossed off her anxious beliefs and broke from chains of helplessness she created hersel#i like her character a lot because she has a weak personality and she is an adult who lived like this for a long time...#its not like the anime tells 'its okay to be weak' because no one actually tells her that (some charas get annoyed even)#its more like anime allows us to see that adults can be irresponcible too..they can be full of anxiety and fear... and its not good for the#but they exist like this... and they can do better if only there was situations or people that could help them gain more confidence#sorry i have so many thoughts about her. thanks for coming to my ted talk#gundam the witch from mercury#mobile suit gundam the witch from mercury#the witch from mercury#belmeria winston#my art#also big thumbs up for her design... its simple and she feels like a really tired woman who gives no attention to her exterior.. i love it
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Literally the only way that 'none of your choices matter' nonsense would be in any way acceptable or make sense is if this game full-on takes place in some parallel universe. Which might, granted, still be the case I suppose. But I'm not getting my hopes up.
Mass Effect: Andromeda at least was an honest spinoff.
#DA:TV#Dragon Age#da:tv spoilers#Veilguard spoilers#but even if that was the case#you'd think the devs would just say 'there's a reason why the choices are so limited' instead of some bullshit explanations#like... no Epler#that actually explained jack shit about why you chose to go this particular route
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this soundtrack genuinely makes me so emotional like damn. the jack vs fiona scene at the end of ep 2 is already so perfect and then they had to go make this beautiful as hell ost with it too. those bastards
#yeah im gonna gush abt the borderlands ost again#it slaps so hard and i dont see many people talking abt it SOB#but this one especially got me by the balls#cause it really adds to the intensity of the decision of whether you should trust jack or fiona#like you can feel rhys' nerves and conflicting emotions through the soundtrack alone#cause even tho you yourself know jack is Bad and fiona is the objectively good option you also know that rhys has a different perspective#fiona is a pandoran con artist which should be reason enough to not trust her (dude is NOT immune to hyperion propaganda)#but shes also tough and survived for 29 whole years WHILE ALSO protecting her sister so she's gotta be doing something right#and even rhys could tell fiona is very genuine. plus they set out to find the vault together so he kinda has to trust her at some point#but then theres jack who hes idolized for so long and hes literally in his ear telling him not to trust fiona#but trusting jack means giving jack way too much access to his cybernetics and even tho hes a massive fanboy hes also aware of jacks nature#and on top of this hard decision theres also a time limit. like he had to make this choice on the spot#IM TELLING YOU MAN THAT SCENE IS CRAZY. I GET GOOSEBUMPS THINKING ABOUT IT#and no matter who you pick at the end youre always like 'well. this doesnt bode well'#because youve either essentially given jack access to your brain or youve pissed jack off and neither of those are good#rhys was in a lose-lose situation there#txt
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Ignore all logistical considerations of "would they ever meet each other under these circumstances". If you don't think Jules Bashir would have chosen to join Starfleet, imagine he is on the station for some other reason, or they meet in some other location.
I wanted to make this poll because I've seen various fics where Garak reassures Julian that far from being upset over him being augmented, Garak is grateful for it, either explicitly because (he thinks) they wouldn't be able to have their usual conversations if it weren't for the augmentations, or simply because he likes Julian "just the way he is" and wouldn't want him to be "different". I disagree that Garak would think like this (or at the very least, I think Julian would react negatively if he did, rather than be reassured), so I wanted to hear everyone else's thoughts.
#garashir#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#this is not just a shipping question btw so please answer whether you view them platonically/romantically/whatever!#Julian Bashir#polls#Starky's original posts#I'll admit. to me there is a very clear right and wrong answer here.#again not in terms of Garak's characterization so much as in terms of JULIAN'S.#I would be fine if Garak said this and Julian felt at least somewhat conflicted about it but I've never seen even that........#I've wanted to make this post for SO LONG but it's a very common thing in a lot of fics that I otherwise REALLY LIKE#from authors that I REALLY LOVE AND ADMIRE#and I have no idea if I'm just being completely insane and oversensitive OTL#but I just read yet another fic where Garak was like ''I have no choice but to be grateful you were genetically enhanced#because Jules would never have joined Starfleet so we never would have met.''#and I just want to yell WHY DO YOU ALL ASSUME THAT#like not even getting into assuming that Jules would be permanently significantly intellectually disabled#based on limited information about his early childhood developmental delays#but more importantly assuming he wouldn't (read: couldn't. because I KNOW that's what you mean.) end up on the station#You! Star Trek fan! Do you think people with intellectual or learning disabilities are allowed in Starfleet? Answer quickly! :)#sorry I told you I've held onto this for too long. and now I'm a deranged bitch about it :|
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Fwb with Oliver who expects heāll have to break things off once you get too attached but itās worth it for a little fun except u never get too attached in fact ur the one who has to tell him itās over bc heās gotten too clingy
#Iām thinking Iām having thoughts#my avoidant attachment comes out soooo full force w bllk men itās crazy#but anywaysā¦..u meet u hook up once#u think itāll be a one time thing which ur cool with#but the Oliver proposes u make it a regular thing#itās too good u get real slutty (and so does he) heās not satisfied with one time#probably does some cheesy donāt fall in love w me speech#but u know what this is#except at some point lines start blurring#and Oliver starts to come over without even looking to have sex#he just wants ur company watch a movie order food#boyfriend things#except Oliver is not boyfriend material and he doesnāt think heāll ever be#and while he knows he maybe should stop it#he canāt#cause he likes u#and maybe it has to end but he wants to keep it going as long as he can#until one day ur asking him to meet up#and telling him u donāt think itās a good idea to keep hooking up#and the truth is ur falling for him#and u know he might be feeling the same way#but u tell him that u think heās treating u too much like a girlfriend#u lay out the facts#he has no choice but to agree#he knew it was coming he just didnāt expect for u to be the one to break it to him#but now he canāt sleep bc he canāt call u before bed#and every time he hears your favorite song ur all he thinks about#and sometimes he picks up snacks u like when heās out for when u come over but u donāt come over anymore#heās never been so torn up about someone in his life#omg I reached the tag limit bye
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tbh I find posts that describe Laois' influence on Falin's life as a 'burden' or something she was forced into pretty patronizing of Falin and ignorant of her own motivations and growth as a character. And it also comes across as blaming Laios for the way she grew up, when I don't think either of them had that much agency in their lives and it also suggests an intentionality that we can be pretty sure was not there.
#dungeon meshi#maybe that's just the posts I've seen but like... as much as you can analyze what specific things influenced her life the language used#to talk about Laois' influence is often loaded with this assumed intentionality or like ppl are putting the blame on him#in a way that I find really doesn't reflect on how the circumstances around them were affecting both of them.#these two characters didn't exist in a vacuum. and also the way their surroundings affected Laios is very different from Falin!#to the point that if you want to talk about how HE affected HER you kinda can't ignore where his character comes from.#not to mention that a lot of these posts seem to willfully ignore that while yes she acknowledged herself that she was heavily influenced by#others around her... it's also really important to not ignore that she very much DID make a lot of important choices out of free will#feelings of obligation of course also affected those choices but like. she wasn't forced. even when she was limited in her options#she still had agency and choices and she very much always had a mind of her own even if she was gentler about it!!#stop fucking acting like Falin was some passive poor girl lol
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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i lost the post but i saw someone talking about how some of yāall act like being weird is a choice and like. YEAHHHHHHH.
thatās fine, it might be for you. but i just live like this and donāt know any other way. like yeah iāve worked customer service, i can do innocuous small talk, but anything beyond that, i donāt understand what iām missing. and itās frustrating to see the tonal disconnect especially from people who are like āuwu embrace weirdness!!ā where theyāre like. dressing quirky and talking about bugs and listening to obscure music and eschewing small talk to ask Deep Questions on the first date and unlearning their tendency to not infodump. and generally have an idea of what Weirdness is supposed to look like. idk man some of us wake up and get out of bed and canāt figure out why the rest of their coworkers chitchat with each other but when they join the conversation it dies.
weirdness is value neutral. letās stop trying to turn it into a badge because quite frankly, itās not a choice for everyone. itās fucking exhausting to never be on the same wavelength as other people and theyāre going to react the way they do and label you the way they will without any conscious actions on your end. itās difficult to talk about this without feeling like youāll be dismissed as immature, a teenager whining āno one understands meā but the thing is. sometimes you donāt grow out of feeling alone and different, and thereās no good way to talk about it without feeling like people will think youāre just fishing for pity.
#most of it is stuff i canāt help like!!!#coworkers and i donāt share a lot of interests so iām always like. yes iāve heard of that show but havenāt seen it. no idk that band sorry#and theyāll like. talk shit abt other people who share my interests without realizing that i also like those things#so i just have to sit there and take it#i feel like i donāt have a lot in common with my friends even. a few shared interests but very different lives#in my experience the conscious choice has been to try to keep up with whatās popular but itās just. not interesting to me#i got bored and forgot to finish s2 of stranger things and never picked it back up#even alt subcultures have gone kinda mainstream and i never quite slot in#letās not even touch the gay culture āflagsā that are extremely online and unrelatablr#and the most frustrating thing. every time i try to talk about myself and my interests i feel people shutting down#one person i know. open mouth sighs in exasperation when i open my mouth#i donāt know why youāre making it my problem that weāre different#i know there is supposed to be a niche out there for everyone but some of that feels like#those niches are falling prey to marketability. if youāre too far out of the mainstream. too out of touch. it canāt be helped#a lot of messaging online is like. embrace weirdness but only if itās subversive in a very specific way#too normal to hang out with self-proclaimed proud weirdos. too weird to hang out with normies#like i thought the thing was to disavow performativity. iām sorry i donāt find the same things interesting#i donāt care about the office and you donāt care about the hundred yearsā war. thatās fine. why is that seen as a personal fault of mine#i feel like some of the reaction i get might be bc it comes across as hipster shit. idk#iām literally just oblivious and looking for any kind of indicator for social interaction#but so often it feels like the onus of finding common ground is on me. i have to listen abt things idk but no one cares what i have to say#i think what makes it more frustrating is this reaction from people who claim to not care. do their own thing#and then get annoyed when i do mine and itās. different#instead of being like āfuck the mainstream! conformity is bullshit! be yourself!ā itās like#āfuck the mainstream because it doesnāt appeal to me personally and iāve made my own club!ā#and this is not going to come out right because iām just at my limit and venting and donāt know how to say things the right way#so people donāt misunderstand me#i just happen to never like the Right Things and know the Right Things and act the Right Way and idk how else to say it other than#can we be more normal about weird people#idk itās hard to talk abt this without sounding like iām just complaining but iām more bewildered and trying to state things as i see them
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I wish we lived in a world where I didnāt have to factor in things like āwill this actually make enough money to pay off its own degree and live comfortably in this increasingly expensive worldā when making my career choices because I think I wouldāve really enjoyed devoting my life to studying entomology or icthyology or something instead of picking a practical but kinda bland field of engineering
#not that you canāt make it as a biologist. itās just much more limited and not guaranteed in this increasingly expensive world#and also when I originally made the choice I was a suicidally depressed egg who didnāt really think I would have a future#now I have a future itās just more profitable and less interesting than what I couldāve done#but Iām glad I chose what I did because being a trans woman in a field that already doesnāt make much money would probably suck even more#i hate that I have to care about money#maybe some day in the far future something might happen that will make me choose to go back to school and study what Iām passionate about#i donāt at all hate my field of study. it just puts me in close proximity to business related things that are dreadfully boring and depressi#depressing
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people who characterize marcille as āoh that lesbian elf motivated so much by how she wants to bang her s/oā literally donāt get it. a marcille who KNOWS shes a lesbian would be on a whole ānother level of āannoying about it.ā insert joke about gay being a characters only trait level annoying. she still writes off her gay shit as gender envy, protectiveness, or solidarity. once she realizes , its all over. shes going to be getting into harmful intra/ter-community discourse on twitter before collapsing into a years-long disillusionment wreckage as all her online buddies either go entirely transmisogynistic or end up overcorrecting and becoming a different kinda queerscourse radical. she even takes the word ālesbianā out of all her urls :-(. not because she isnāt one or its bad but bc its a painful reminder of a sense of pride that now exists only in memory. and eventually she changes it to FALINSC-š„
#these first notes were written before the massive tangent about the twitter lesbian torture tube:#this also applies if you headcanon her as bi & preferentially women-leaning#less so if still bi but not? but still there#anyways iām a diehard lesbianmarciller but like not in a āoh the other interpretations suck shitā wy#way#<- i say to myself trying to not turn into my own cartoonish self-charicature lmao#i mean straight marcille is. a choice. but even THAT isnāt. STRICTLY. Anti-canon. or anything. (why thoughā¦.)#thats supposed to say āevenā#EVEN straight marcie is a choice!#anyways my true enemies are people who hc falin as trans and marcie as cis. what the fuck. that sucks and i hate it.#if only one of them can be trans its obviously marcille do you honestly think falin would choose to be a woman and not nonbinary like her br#yknow what not even continuing that sentence it made me feel evil#just going along with the tag character limit there#āhis pronouns are they/them also you choose to be trans!!ā ass shit#reeling a bit from the debate (ā¦. or rather my cool and good moms sad and bad retelling of it)#ā¦.the tangent about marcille get computer wasnt here originally. nor the joke about me projecting a chunk of personal shit on there#(which isnāt even really a statement to the cross-applicability -iām more of a falin tgirl spiritually speaking - i just saw a shitton of#younger lesbians getting involved with a pretty horrendous cycle over the years so it ending up hiw MY experiences of those years went māsel#self is fairly natural. mostly i just realized jaded 100something marcille would totally go for my url#more realistically marcie gets kicked out of her twitter sphere for having a contrapoints moment regarding her presentation and pronouns lol#iām just saying words at this point
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Wanting more homoeroticism in the tension between the showās leads as the narrative introduces greater intimacy and higher stakes between them, especially in a landscape that lacks queer representation who isnāt a villain or dies within one or two episodes, but also recognizing that core values/motivation for these characters lie in their relationships with one of two major female characters in an on screen sausage fest where the only other woman is a morally reprehensible femme fatale and erasing and/or vilifying female leads in favor of conventionally attractive males is a common practice observed in fandoms thatās rooted in misogyny and justified under the guise of rejecting heteronormativity, thinly veiled double standards, or claiming the woman is simply not interesting enough and not wanting to bolster that mindset
#the worst of evil#you know whoās not interesting enough? haeryeon!! bibiās acting the hell out of her and slaying while doing it#but idk anything besides sheās willing to subvert her dad for dick and values money over everything else#and also sheās hot which is great for me!! but also the male gaze#and I also get it - we donāt know much about euijeong in her limited screen time besides her relationships to junmo/kicheol#but she is given so many traits that are silently conveyed like compassion and bravery and sacrifice#she brought a fucking gun to her date with kicheol like the conflicts and motivations here are SO JUICY#her exasperation guilt and despair with the investigation; esp after listening to the voicemails#whatās the self respecting thing to do; do I still love my husband if he loses himself; can I continue a game I never wanted to play#at the cost of my life or my familyās life?#even though a lot of her choices are for her marriage sheās using whatever agency she has in her own terms#kicheol works to be an honest man and make a difference partly bc of her#not trying to place the burden of fixing men on her but ignoring her impact in the boysā lives is wild#ship whoever you want hate whoever you want but donāt deride a woman just cuz āsheās in the wayā ya know#all this being said; kicheol bringing junmo home after he RAMPAGED seemingly on his behalf - literally who else is doing it like them#the yearning all around - I get it now; we need gangster mob!throuple to get any shit done around here (and for all 3 to stay alive š«£š)#but the reality next week is gonna be so so bitter
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