#or can I just buy a $1000+ laptop and call it a day

[non-sims]

im going to enjoy ff16 pc version (with mods) vicariously through others, cause I don't have a powerful machine to play it.

[sirfrogsworth]

Froggie's Guide to Budget Headphones

@nimrella I am more well versed in traditional audio and home theater with big honking speakers, so I don't have much personal experience with headphones and headphone accessories. But I can tell you what I've learned from other people who are in the headphone world. And since you are starting more within the "budget" range I think I am somewhat qualified to guide you at this level.

You have three paths to choose from...

Wireless, low impedance wired (no amplification required), and high impedance wired (amplification required).

Basically... easy, medium, and hard.

But also... good, better, best.

Wireless Headphones

Wireless headphones have come a long way. Audiophiles used to scoff at them but now there are options that really do sound fantastic and the Bluetooth data rates are good enough to deliver high resolution audio. They also have noise cancellation options which may be desirable. If you do not have a quiet, dedicated space for listening to music you might find high end noise cancellation a godsend. People love them especially for planes, trains, and automobiles.

I don't know if everyone knows how noise cancellation works or not, but basically the headphones have microphones that listen to the world around you. They measure the incoming sound and then generate an opposite sound that just about kills ambient noise. If you play the same sound 180 degrees out of phase it basically nullifies those sound waves. The tech works best between 50 Hz and 1000 Hz. For reference we hear between 20 Hz and 20,000 Hz (lower if you are old). So anything super high or super low pitched can still get through.

In any case, if that sounds appealing, wireless headphones should be a consideration.

The other advantage of wireless headphones would be the ease of use. They pair to your phone, your laptop, your TV. They have controls to help you pause and skip songs and change volume. Some allow you to take phone calls.

But the big downside is the sound quality takes a bit of a hit. As I said, the bluetooth standards have actually gotten very very good. (Though there are audiophiles who will swear it still sounds like a 1990s MP3.) So streaming the actual media files are not really an issue. But trying to cram all of that tech into lightweight headphones you can wear around town all day requires compromises and added expense. Not to mention the battery has a limited lifespan. You may have more limited or inconsistent frequency response, poor dynamic range, distortion problems, weak output, and a high noise floor. Wireless options still can't match wired headphone systems in the same price range. And the wireless options that come close are quite spendy.

Wireless Headphones Suggestions

In your price range the two wireless options that I hear mentioned over and over again are the Sony WH-1000 series and the Bose QuietComfort. They are both well regarded for having a good mix of sound quality and noise cancellation while also being a decent value. You might be able to visit a Best Buy and demo them to see if you prefer the sound and comfort of one over the other.

The Apple AirPods Max are said to work really well within the Apple ecosystem. They have some interesting spatial sound modes and very good audio quality. I've heard the noise cancellation is some of the best currently available. But they seem too expensive and a lot of people feel they are too heavy. I also suspect they are due for an update. That said, if you wait for the new ones to come out and buy used, they could come into your price range. I'd really only suggest these if you have multiple Apple products that you will be streaming sound from.

Before we move into wired headphones, let's go over some terms that you might see pop up when doing research and reading reviews.

Froggie's Glossary of Audiophile Terminology

Driver A speaker is made up of drivers. Some speakers have a woofer, a midrange, and a tweeter. Each individual thing is a driver. And with headphones you will often hear "headphone driver" instead of speaker because it is more specific. Headphones typically have an all-in-one driver that does all frequencies. A woofymidteet.

That's not a thing.

I made that up.

Frequency Response This is the range of frequencies produced by the drivers from low to high. You want to make sure your headphones have good, deep bass. That will make more of a difference than anything else. It's the foundation of all sound and what is sorely lacking in devices with small/cheap speakers.

Music typically doesn't go much below 40 Hz in the bass range. So if you are only interested in music listening, that is plenty deep. Movies can go down to 20 Hz, but this isn't necessary for a good immersive experience unless you have giant subwoofers. So if you find something that can play ~40 Hz with decent output, you should be all good. Every speaker has a frequency response curve. It looks something like this.

The X-axis represents the frequency and the Y-axis represents the volume in decibels. We are most concerned with the 40 to 10K Hz section, as most sound happens there.

I'm not going to go super in-depth and overwhelm everyone, but typically you want this graph to look fairly flat in that range. A flat-ish line will give you a "neutral" response.

The above graph gets a little bumpy in the high frequencies. That means those frequencies will have a higher volume than the lower frequencies. If a higher frequency has a big peak, that could make your sound seem too bright or tinny.

Or you could have the opposite problem. You could have a null in the bass where the output dips below everything else. This can make your sound a bit anemic and lacking punch.

Whereas a more flat speaker will output all frequencies at about the same volume and sound much more balanced and smooth.

Equalization or EQ A flat response is good because it will accept EQ well. Equalization is where you add peaks and dips in volume deliberately to taste.

This can be as simple as 3 knobs.

Or it can be a more complicated parametric EQ.

A lot of digital EQ methods have presets to help get you started. I promise it isn't as intimidating as it looks.

Some people like to buy speakers/headphones that are EQ'd how they prefer out of the box. (Or if you get Beats by Dre they just turn the bass all the way up and say "Fuck them other frequencies!") But this is often a bit of a crapshoot because it is hard to EQ a speaker that sounds good in every room or every environment or just to varying individual preferences.

By making the speaker more neutral, it can be much easier to equalize specifically to your needs and enjoyment.

So if you like the bass a little bassier and the mids a little quieter, you have the power to dial that in with great specificity on a neutral speaker. You can apply any EQ you wish and you won't be fighting the speaker's predetermined response.

Basically if you are reading reviews and the headphones are described as "flat" or "neutral" that's a good thing (in my opinion). Just remember nothing is going to be perfectly flat. We're shooting for flat-ish.

If you do decide to get a neutral sounding pair of headphones you may find them a little bland out of the box. Do not panic. You just need to learn a bit about how to apply EQ, but thankfully YouTube is plentiful with tutorials.

The Harman Curve was researched to be most liked by the most people, so you might start there. (Also, SoundSource is a very popular EQ app for Mac.)

Dynamic Range This is the spectrum of how quiet to loud something can get. If you have speakers that can render both a pin drop and a big explosion with great fidelity and proper intensity, you will be in audio heaven. There is so much emotion and drama that can be expressed by expansive dynamic range and most cheap speakers compress it to an inch of its life. When the soft and the loud sounds are the same you miss out on so much audio information intended by the composer.

Distortion This is just how loud a speaker can go without breaking up. Low distortion is good. While every driver distorts at some point, usually that is at a much higher volume than you will use. This typically only plagues cheap, tiny drivers.

Sound Pressure Level (SPL) This is a measurement of how loud a speaker can get. While you don't want to listen to anything louder than a sustained average decibel level of 80 to 85, you do want peaks over 100, especially in the bass. Bass is less damaging to ears and hearing damage is all about sustained volume rather than quick peaks here and there. Most headphones can comfortably do an SPL between 90 and 110 dB. The ability to go louder is good, but only because that expands headroom, not because you should actually listen to them that loud. So if the headphones can get super loud, that means they will have a much easier time delivering normal levels.

Noise Floor Every sound system has background noise. You know that static you hear when you turn a radio up really loud when there is no sound playing? That is your noise floor. You want that to be as quiet as possible because if you turn up the volume, you don't just turn up the volume of the sounds you want to hear, you also turn up the volume of that background noise.

If you can find a headphone system with a decent low noise floor and you can also find a very quiet space to listen in, you could have a religious experience. I don't think people realize how much the room you are in matters, even when listening to headphones. When you are in a quiet room, you can play at lower volumes. And that can mitigate a lot of the problems associated with cranking the volume. You won't damage your ears for one thing. But the speakers won't have to work as hard so you'll have less distortion and better clarity.

Noise mostly comes from the amplifier, which I will talk about later on.

Froggie Pro Tip: If you want cheap speakers to perform better, go to a quiet room and move them as close as possible. This allows you to play them at a lower output while maintaining your desired perceived volume.

Okay, now we can finally talk about...

Wired Headphones

You have open back and closed back styles.

Open back tends to have a more natural sound and feels more comfortable. Like listening to regular speakers. People generally feel they are able to listen to them longer because they don't create a seal and cause pressure on your ear drum. However, if sound can get out, it can also get in. So with open back headphones people nearby will be able to hear what you are listening to. And if you are not in a quiet room, all of that sound will leak in. Meaning you have to increase the volume and the noise floor and the distortion.

Closed back seals off your ears and gives you a quiet and immersive experience. You can be in a noisier room without having to crank the volume as much. Some prefer this style just because it helps them feel like they are going into their own personal dimension of sound. These are great for ASMR too. But ear fatigue can become an issue and you may need to take little breaks to let your ears breathe and your ear drums rest.

And the last thing we need to discuss is impedance.

The impedance of headphones mostly determines how hard they are to amplify. Impedance is measured in ohms which is this little horseshoe symbol... Ω.

Lower ohms means less electrical resistance and easier to amplify.

Higher ohms means more electrical resistance and difficult to amplify.

If you get headphones rated below 100 ohms, they can typically be driven by smartphones and laptops just by plugging into a standard headphone jack. Though depending on the device, 100 may sound a little quiet so you may want to go lower. 30 ohms is fairly typical if you plan to drive your headphones with everyday electronics.

Above 100 ohms you are going to need some sort of amplification—usually a DAC with a headphone amplifier. (There are DACs without amplification so be sure to check that.)

A DAC, or digital-to-analog converter, is already built into your phone and laptop. But those are very small, don't have a lot of power, and might have a higher noise floor due to interference from other components and heat and just a lot of electrical signals nearby.

By getting an external DAC w/amplifier you separate out the components, make them larger and more powerful, and typically improve the sound quality. Because it is more isolated, the amplification can be much quieter despite being more powerful.

If you plan to stay in a static location and you have high impedance headphones, you can get a little box DAC that sits on your desk. It works like an external sound card for your computer. If you record music or stream, a digital audio interface works great as well (remember to check the Ω).

But if you need to be more mobile with your headphones you can get a little USB dongle DAC, though you will probably not get the same sound quality and power.

Both will be superior to the internal DAC built into your computing devices.

So, low impedance headphones are easier if you need to move around.

High impedance headphones are better for staying put in a single location unless you get a dongle DAC.

Just remember, high and low impedance doesn't necessarily indicate quality. It's just that in order to drive high impedance headphones you need the larger amplifier with the nicer components and, by necessity, you automatically get that quality bump.

You can get very good low impedance headphones. However, if you power them *only* with a smartphone, you may not use them to their full potential. Which is why getting an external DAC is a good idea regardless.

But the nice thing about low impedance is you can get the headphones and still use them until you save up for the DAC. Or you can use them as normal while out and about and have a special listening spot at home with the DAC.

To review...

Low impedance and high impedance can both be high quality.

Low impedance (less than 100 ohms) works with anything.

High impedance (more than 100 ohms) requires amplification.

Both will be used to their full potential with a DAC/headphone amplifier of some kind.

Wired Headphones Suggestions

Again, I have not personally listened to any of these. I am just relaying what experts I trust have mentioned as being nice quality in your price range.

The beyerdynamic DT 770 headphones are some of the most well-regarded budget headphones I've heard of. They come in low and high impedance versions.

The Sennheiser HD 560 high impedance headphones are also praised for their value and performance.

If you can go a little pricier...

The HIFIMAN Sundara headphones have low impedance and can be driven easily by all your devices.

And the HIFIMAN Edition XS are even lower impedance and about the same price.

And if you want to try a DAC, I've heard good things about both Fosi and Schiit (yes, like the poopies), though there are many different brands. Just make sure the DAC has a headphone amplifier rated for the ohms you need.

The FOSI K5 Pro is a cheap "beginner" DAC that will power anything up to 300 ohms. This is the kind that sits on your desk.

And if you want a more portable dongle DAC, you can get something like the iFi Go Link.

I've also heard good things about the AudioQuest Dragonfly, though I hate recommending AudioQuest products due to them claiming they can do magical things. They use scientific gobbledygook to scam customers most of the time. That said, the DragonFly might be their only valid product.

Note from Future Froggie: AudioQuest just can't help themselves. While the Dragonfly itself is a good product and not a scam, they developed the "DragonTail", which is a scam.

It's just a USB A to C Adapter for the Dragonfly. But they have to find a way to justify 30 fucking dollars so they came up with this bullshit.

Definitely need to stabilize my geometry. If I have unstable geometry that could lead to quixotic trigonometry. And we all know that could introduce vertices into dodecahedrons. Which leads straight to accelerated cosmotic entropy catalyzing the heat death of the universe.

Fucking AudioQuest.

ANYWAY...

An inexpensive DAC may be all you ever need but DACs can get crazy expensive—just like headphones. And if you are really fancy you can get a DAC and a headphone amplifier as separate items. Audiophiles claim when you simplify components to a singular function you increase quality. While I think there is some small truth to that, I suspect they just think the tubes look neat.

Froggie's Disclaimer: I am not telling you to get these specific things, but I do think you'll probably be happy with anything I've suggested. But sound is a subjective experience and it is always best to test things out before you buy them, if possible. Or make sure there is a return policy. You might see if there is a brick-and-mortar store nearby that allows you to demo headphones. Remember that comfort can be just as crucial as sound quality for long listening sessions.

Final Thoughts

Good sound has been life changing for me. And I am excited when anyone goes down this journey. While the stuff mentioned is considered "budget" by audiophiles, this can give you a good starting point if you want to upgrade down the road. You'll get to know your preferences and get a better understanding of how this all works and choose your own adventure from there.

Though it is very possible you'll be quite content with "budget" and the sound quality is more than enough.

Personally, while I am very happy with my current home theater setup, I am hopeful one day I can upgrade one budget tier above where I currently am and that will be my endgame. I've heard $10,000 speakers and it is mostly a land of diminishing returns once you reach that level.

I'm fine in "budget" land.

Further Research

I didn't mention the different types of headphone drivers because I didn't want to put too much data in everyone's head. But if you want to do additional research you can learn about the 4 main types... dynamic, planar magnetic, electrostatic, and balanced armature.

[sweetswesf]

After receiving the offer, I jumped into high gear to prepare for my new role. They were requiring me to be in the office in Silicon Valley. My prayers to move out of San Francisco had been answered. My whole reason for moving from New York to get to Silicon Valley that I initially dreamed at 21 had come true at 30. Although SF and my last company and becoming a software engineer was a goal that I accomplished in 2019, being a software engineer in Silicon Valley at this type of company was the initial goal. I found a church QUICKLY that seems to be everything I want: diverse, full of happy, friendly, and genuine people, but especially Black people. So many people of all races have welcomed me and asked for my number and check in on me and save me seats and invite me to lunches and hikes and game nights. I’m getting paid more than double what I was making at my last company. I have a quiet apartment with counter space in my bathroom and kitchen. I have a short commute and can walk 10 minutes to the shuttle stop that takes me to campus in a WiFi bus. This place has so much documentation. Services are stable and work. Setting up my laptop, schedule, goals, etc have been great. My team has been so welcoming. They constantly remind me to take my time and that I can hop in when I’m ready. There are 2 other Black women on my team. They invest a lot into their employees and brand. I have a great relationship with my parents and grandparents. My mom calls em everyday. My Mom continued to send me $1000 a month every month until I got my pay check. I didn’t get my paycheck until the end of my 2nd week, but she still sent money my first week of work. I had to move from the first place I moved in because the insulation was so poor that I heard EVERY footstep and thank God I followed what I believe to be His voice to look at my lease to see that they had a 30 day guarantee where I could break my lease no questions asked. I’m in a better place. I have a Costco membership. I get to buy clothes that fit that I enjoy wearing. I still need to be a good steward of the blessings God has given me. I learned how to trim my hair, so I’m truly independent with my hair care. I was freaking out about not knowing Java before I started my new role, but my manager planned before I got there to give me time to ramp up on the language but give me tasks in a language I already know so I could start delivering on the team. He is giving me space while allowing me to feel productive. I’ve received great feedback so far. I know what I’m being asked to do in my role. Things are clear. I feel more responsible. I be tired, but the office is a great temperature! Most of my team is scattered across the country and only me and another colleague come in the office, but we don’t even sit right next to each other so there’s no pressure to show up a certain way. She’s such a sweetheart. Upon meeting me, she asked if she could hug me. It felt like God was hugging me through her. Like, “You made it child.” I’m trying my best to remember where I came from, maintain in relationship with God, keep praying as I did when I really needed God to come through, expect only the best and not let my past or past bad habits haunt me. I went through what I went through for a reason. I’m more patient, responsible, happy, grateful, calm, trusting. When I learned my destination was closed when I got dropped off, my Uber driver said, “You took that pretty well. Most people would be mad.” I’ve come a long way to hear this. This was such a compliment. I’ve learned to chill. I practiced this before getting what I prayed for because I knew God would grant me it.

I know I will face challenges, but I know that I don’t need to worry. Before all these blessings, I thanked God for making it happen, because I knew He would. All while I got to stay true to myself and just focus on doing my best. I have prayers for my life, my career, a marriage, my finances, my health, my family, the world, and I know God is capable. I know things are going to turn out better than I expect.

I had been wanting to share God’s love with y’all for a while, I just needed time to settle in to all the newness. God did exceedingly, abundantly, above all I could ask or think. And He can do the same for you. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Holy Spirit. God bless you, reader. Whatever you’re going through, I know God can get you through.

[the-black-dragons-den]

i mean not really, i was just angry and a little bit tipsy last night, but they still didn't answer my question and i'm still pissed off about it. long post below and honestly it's just me needing to vent

i just fuckin hate living in apartment complex

We have to buy our resident parking permit for our apartment complex online thru a 3rd party service. Our lease allows 1 resident permit per leaseholding adult. We've lived there for 3 years and we have one parking account (mine). Resident pass is $8/mo.

We have to buy guest passes for friends visiting past 6pm. Guest pass is $3/day. Honestly we didn't worry about it in the past, but our local towing company is predatory as fuck. They towed our buddy's truck (call him Buddy A) over an hour away and it was over $500 to get it back - they held it over a weekend because they were closed which added extra fees. We helped him pay, but since then, we always buy guest passes.

Well Buddy A comes over often enough, and we, the two leaseholders, only have 1 car between us right now. Instead of buying our Buddy A a guest pass every time he comes over, we bought him a resident pass for the month. We've had this going about 4 or 5 months now.

Now we're out of town for a week. Buddy B is watching our place and Buddy A hangs out with him there sometimes (neither have their own place at the moment so it's nice for them to have a place to hang out and we don't mind).

Buddy A has a resident permit and we don't want to buy Buddy B a guest permit every day for 7 days - so - we canceled our resident permit and tried to buy a resident permit for Buddy B. The system wouldn't allow it, said we were at our permit limit. We bought our Buddy B a guest permit so he wouldn't get towed, but I also emailed the parking permit people to ask why the system wouldn't allow it.

Cue long back and forth where they're telling me that each adult has to have their own account on the parking permit website in order to have 1 resident permit for each adult (so in this case, 2 for the household). they say they have to have a letter from the apartment complex in order to have 2 resident permits on 1 account, every time they have to have this letter.

((lol didn't realize how long this would be so i'm switching to my laptop and that's why my 'i's aren't capitalized anymore i'm lazy lol))

so i'm irritated and probably should have just left it but this is such an irritation because it's never been the case? we've had two resident permits on that account for several months now without have a letter? and now I can't even get my own resident permit back without cancelling Buddy A's, or setting up a new account (which i get is not a huge deal but it's a pain in the ass, because each plate can only be attached to one account so now we have to deal with 2 logins to try to save money on these damn guest passes).

just dumb, getting nickled and dimed on shit like this when our stupid fucking rent is $1800/mo exluding electric and internet and our other bills for our less than 1000 sq ft 1 bedroom apartment goddamn i hate living in denver.

so i ask (irritatedly) when and why this changed and they tell me, repeatedly, that it's not a change and that this is how it's always been and i ask how i was able to have 2 resident permits before then, and they said they need the letter every time which is not an answer

so i was pissed off and they were probably irritated, they passed me off between like 4 different people in this email chain

but they just kept telling me it didn't change and they need the letter every time. and yeah like we'll just make a new account for the other one. it was just more frustrating than it needed to be and i still don't understand why i was allowed to have 2 resident permits on that account before

Idk i might have pissed off the parking permit people

[cynergy-laughter]

Obey Me! One Master to Rule Them All! Headcanon #9

So I have this idea of a scenario: Everything that went wrong went wrong yesterday, with time running out, and there was so much to do before going to bed, you had to scramble and multitask getting projects and assignments redone before realizing it’s the weekend. And ALL the brothers had a hand in your grinding day. So a sleep-deprived MC, with an attitude that can be described as, “I would literally fight God for an ounce of serotonin and a blissful hour of sleep.” goes to breakfast with the boys and they just snap, and starts roasting all of them and calling out their roles in his grinding day.

Lucifer: MC, so glad you could join us for breakfast.

MC: Don’t start with me, Lucifer, I had a very rough night...

Lucifer: You should watch your tone, MC, just cause it’s the weekend doesn’t mean I won’t punish you for stepping out of line.

MC: *record scratch plays in their head and turns head* Me? Stepping out of line? You have some nerve.

Satan: *eyes widen, a bit concerned for you talking back at Lucifer* Umm, MC, as entertaining as this is, are you okay?

MC: *looks at Satan, dark circles intensifying* No Satan... I’m not okay... After school yesterday I only had one assignment to do, and it turned into 5 assignments in the span of last night...

Mammon: *walks in* Good morning, what’s for eats?

MC: *head turns toward Mammon and points at him* You...

Mammon: W-What? What do you want human?

MC: You know perfectly what what I want, you dollar store mink stole.

Asmo: *nearly spit out his drink*

MC: You thought it would be fun to bring 6 ferrets into my room without my permission... do you know what they did?

Lucifer: He did what now?

Mammon: *kind of hurt from being called a cheap mink stole* what, did they eat your homework?

MC: I mean ferrets will find an interest to play with anything, my three completed assignments could attest to that if they weren’t torn apart and left around my room like a crime scene.

Mammon: There was no other place I could put them, I’m watching them for a friend, they would have torn up my room. You should have closed your door.

MC: I did, and you still opened the door, put them in my room, and they went for my homework. I hope you’re happy for kicking off last night’s chain of events for me you dime store student loan.

Mammon: *taken aback and sat down, and just stares into his breakfast*

Levi: *chuckles* Omg, you just got told! Lolololol!

MC: *turns to Levi* Don’t think you’re innocent, Leviathan, you overripe bananaconda!

Levi: W-What?! How dare you, who do you think you are, normie?! *stands up, and is scared when you get up after him.*

MC: Who do I thi- WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Printing out an 1000 page fanfiction of TSL, on MY LAPTOP?! You used up all the dang paper, and I had to go to the store and get more printer paper, and I couldn’t start redoing my assignments until you were finished on MY LAPTOP. Do yourself a favor Lord of Weebs, and make your next Akuzon order a personal printer.

Levi: *eyes widened, sits back down shying away from confrontation*

Beel: *eating, enjoying the roast session going on*

MC: *looks at Satan* And you, you decided to put my source material on your reading list for the night. You took the books I was planning on referencing for my paper to your room.

Satan: *shrugs* You should have planned better beforehand, it’s not my fault you were having a bad day.

MC: Au contrair you blond Severus Snape knock-off. Because a demonic food processor decided to drink my potion project that I had finished brewing and had it chilling in the fridge overnight, which was clearly labeled, “Beel, do not drink my potion, signed ~MC”! *looking at Beel as he shouted the last part*

Beel: *stopped mid bite, and looked down in shame*

MC: ...And ate my favorite snacks that would have kept positive motivation in me throughout the night, but I digress. I couldn’t find the potion recipe I wrote down either, turns out I stuck it in one of potion books I also had in my room. So I had to look through the library just to find the book because you put it in a place I couldn’t get to without going out to the garden and getting a ladder, which was awkward to bring in by the way. So thanks Marian the Librarian for doing a job that literally no one asked you to do.

Satan: *blushing mad, but stayed silent*

Asmo: *giggles* Aww you guys are getting chewed out, by MC!

MC: Asmo... you intrusive thot, do not think for one second you’re safe. I had to go shopping for the potion ingredients and printer paper, so I enlisted in your help, but instead of getting the ingredients I had to reign you in because you kept on getting stuff in the cosmetics department.

Asmo: I had a date that night, I had to look good!

MC: And trying to sneak them into my transaction so now I don’t have any money to buy food to make for dinner tonight. So thank you from the bottom of my generous heart, you wannabe James Charles.

Asmo: *eyes widen and he “clutches his pearls”*

Belphie: *looks at everyone, trying not to laugh*

MC: Belphie, I appreciate that you kept on trying to calm me down through all of this, but you fell asleep in the middle of me doing my work, and I would have let it slide, if you didn’t sleep on my paper’s outline. So there’s your contribution, you horse jockey cosplayer.

Belphie: *bit his lip and looked away*

MC: And that leaves you, Lucifer. You decided to make dinner last night.

Lucifer: Yes, and you told me yourself that it was delicious.

MC: Delicious and spicy... and everyone here knows what happens when spicy and me combine...

Lucifer: *was kind of sweating* Umm... in my defense... my definition of spicy would kill you, I made that pretty mild...

MC: Yes, but your mild gave me four hours... FOUR HOURS... that’s how long I was on the toilet for. I asked the group chat on my D.D.D. to get me my devildom history textbook so I could at least redo that assignment, Belphie wasn’t responding because he was asleep, Mammon, Asmo, and Beel were gone, Levi was live-streaming and turned his phone off, Satan was doing research and apparently put it on silent, and you were doing paper work, so I wasted 4 hours of my time trying to keep hydrated while I blew Mt. Vesuvius. Shut up Asmo. So thank you, Maleficient’s edgy teenage son, you single handedly gave me the most stress last night. I hope it was worth the punishment comment.

Lucifer: *eyes widened, shocked*

MC: And you know what the icing on the cake was? I realized at 7 in the morning, when I had finished everything, that everything was due on Monday and it was the weekend... I stressed for nothing while everything that went wrong went wrong... So this is my fault as well. Now, if you will all excuse me, I am going to be sleeping for the whole weekend, and I’ll be back to my old self on Monday. And if anyone thinks about disturbing me... just remember I have a pact with Every. Single. One of you. You will join me if you like it or not... I’ll send for my meals, I can’t make dinner tonight, and I’m taking this to my room. *takes breakfast* Now good day...

Mammon: MC we’re sor-

MC: I SAID GOOD DAY! *storms off into his room*

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[everybodyscupoftea]

the plug

college au jj x reader

word count: 3025

warnings: drinking, cursing, mentions of jj’s dad, four year age gap (20yo jj and 24yo reader)

synopsis: you’re the pogues’ alcohol plug and jj’s favorite person

a/n: this was an anonymous request, age gaps are kinda sensitive, nothing here happens until jj is almost 21 but please be careful out there folks; also i got kinda carried away 

You grew up in the Outer Banks, spent most of your time surfing or playing soccer for the local school’s team. Your house was near the Heyward’s shop, and you picked up odd jobs working Kook events all throughout your high school years. When college rolled around, you started working at the Wreck with Kie.

The Pogue and Kook rivalry never particularly interested you, it seemed frivolous, and after a brief stint on the mainland, you realized the world was so much bigger out of the scope of the Outer Banks. Your refusal to participate was what originally drew Kie to you. The two of you hung out after work on Friday nights, you had access to good weed and were willing to share. Eventually she invited you to a party her friends were throwing.

Honestly, you weren’t exactly over the moon at the idea of partying with a bunch of 17-year olds, but the idea of free beer and a night on the beach seemed promising. You figured you could say hey to Kie’s friends and slip away to walk by the ocean.

Until the afternoon of the party rolled around, and you found out that they had no alcohol. Kie scrambled to explain that the guy who normally sold them beer underage had moved and someone stricter had taken his place and refused their fakes. You sighed and stood, “How much do you need me to get?”

“Wait, what?” Kie asked, taken aback.

“Beer. You want packs or a keg?”

She blinked a few times, “We normally get a keg or two.”

“Let’s go.”

You led Kie to your car and cranked it up, immediately turning up the AC as high as it could go. She plugged her phone in to play some music as you drove to the nearest liquor store to the Boneyard.

“Stay here, I’ll be back,” you told her, and she nodded, promising to sit still. The guy inside was in fact different from the guy who used to sell to you and your friends underage, so you fished out your ID. You knew you looked pretty young for your age and had to resist rolling your eyes when he stared at it intensely for a few seconds before charging you for the keg.

When it was filled, he helped you carry it to your car and the two of you set it in the back. Kie stayed still and quiet in case he tried to card her for some reason too, but you weren’t too worried. Soon enough the two of you were back on the road, heading toward your house for a quick change of clothes.

“Can I borrow something?” Kie asked, looking a little nervous.

“For sure, Kie, take what you want.”

You were only there for about 30 minutes before leaving to get the keg to the Boneyard before party time. Kie was really excited to introduce you to her friends, they’d been hearing all about the cool college girl she’d been hanging out with in her spare time, and they were really interested to see who had her so enthralled.

Pope was the first to greet you, recognizing you from when you worked with him and his dad. He nodded at you with a small smile, and you returned it. John B shook your hand with a huge grin, babbling on about how awesome it was to have someone willing to buy them alcohol again. The last of the group, JJ, was the quiet one.

You weren’t sure what he thought of you at first, it was easy to see he was hesitant to just accept anyone, but you did buy him alcohol. He offered you a fist bump and a small smile before telling you, “Really appreciate the plug.”

“No prob, new guy was pretty suspicious, sorry for your loss.”

JJ let out a loud laugh and warmed up to you instantly. From then on, he followed you around. Whether it was hanging around the Wreck while you were working and he was free, or asking to smoke with you some weekends. Kie thought your new shadow was hilarious and she would send you videos of JJ talking about how funny you were or how pretty you were. It was…endearing.

And then you graduated college and got into grad. You wanted to finally move off the island, and with the money you’d saved up from the Wreck, you finally had enough money to rent an apartment just off Chapel Hill’s campus. The Pogues came with you to help you move all your stuff, which you were grateful for.

You let them handle pizza and went to go pick up alcohol for the group as one last hurrah before they left. John B picked through the bag you brought back with a watery smile, “Gonna suck throwing parties without our favorite plug.”

“Aren’t you dating Sarah Cameron now? Get Rafe to buy your alcohol.”

“He hates us,” JJ whined, “not everyone is cool like you.”

You pointed the bottle in your hand at him, “That’s right, don’t you ever forget.”

And then that was it. You were onto the next, without the Pogues. Or, so you thought.

You’d gotten a job at a coffeehouse just off campus while working through your grad degree. It was easy and brought in a surprising amount of tips, and the atmosphere was really chill, so you loved it. Mostly you dealt with regulars, until one morning. You had your back to the door when it opened, making another coffee, and you called over your shoulder, “Be with you in a sec.”

A familiar, slightly deeper voice, answered back, “All good.”

Whirling around, you grinned widely at the boy, “JJ! Long time no see, bud.”

His eyes widened and he laughed, “Holy shit, dude, you work here?”

“Have for the last few years. What can I get you?”

JJ smiled widely, “Actually, just got hired, I’m here for training.”

You passed the customer their coffee and wished them a good day before turning back to JJ, “Okay, go wash your hands and I’ll grab your hat.”

The rest of your shift was spent goofing off with JJ, every so often interrupted by a customer, and you showed him the ropes. He picked up on it pretty quickly, only stumbling through using the register a few times.

“What brings you here?” you finally asked.

JJ took his hat off and ran a hand through his hair a few times, “Family shit. My dad was an asshole and I wanted to get out. I started picking up extra hours at the hotel, but my dad knew where I was, so I decided to just move to the mainland and start over.”

“Fuck,” you muttered, “sorry to hear that. Everything okay now?”

He nodded, “Yeah, um, started taking a few classes at Chapel Hill, and Pope’s family is helping me keep rent until I get my feet under me.”

“That’s nice of them.”

“Yeah, I just, I needed to start over. And I saw the hiring sign on the door, so I stopped in a few days ago to apply.”

You nudged his shoulder gently, “If you need anything, gimme a call, yeah?”

JJ blushed and nudged yours back, “Yeah.”

Because of the small number of customers, most shifts at the coffeehouse were solo shifts except for opening and closing. You and JJ both had mostly afternoon classes which meant that the two of you were scheduled several times a week together opening and closing.

One night you had soft music playing while he was doing dishes and you were sweeping and mopping the dining area. JJ watched you dance around with the broom, small smile on his lips, and when you caught his eye, he looked away with a blush.

“J,” you called out, trying to catch his eye again.

He looked back, blush still present on his cheeks, “What?”

“You hungry?”

“Oh, um, yeah, I could eat.”

You motioned out the window, “That place has fire po-boys for cheap if you want to get one with me after.”

JJ stared at the lit-up restaurant across the street before shrugging, “Sounds good.”

Thursday closing shift dinner became a thing after that. One of you would call in your food and pick it up before going back to one of your apartments to eat and do homework. JJ had a quiet focus to him that you liked, it helped keep you calm while scrolling through mounds of research you needed for your final paper.

He had one afternoon shift a week, unbeknownst to you, and walked in for it one week to see you laying face down on one of the tables near the counter. JJ paused, glancing over at the guy he was replacing in confusion. Your coworker shrugged and clocked out without saying anything else.

You felt someone crouch down next to your table a few minutes later and he softly called your name. Opening your eyes felt like a chore since you’d had them squeezed closed for so long to block out the anxiety over your paper that for some reason wasn’t writing itself.

“Want some coffee?” he asked, as soon as he finally saw your eyes.

The thought of caffeine made you want to throw up, and you made a face before finally responding, “How about some tea.”

“What kind?”

“Surprise me,” you told him tiredly.

JJ squeezed your shoulder once and walked back around the counter to start making you a drink. You woke your laptop back up to see the word count of 406 staring you straight in the face, and just as you went to put your head back down, a steaming mug of tea was placed in front of you.

“That should help,” JJ told you, smiling softly.

And shockingly, it did. It was warm, and with JJ’s steady presence, you were able to knock out over 1000 words before you had to leave for your afternoon class. He called your name just as you went to push the door open and you turned around, “What?”

“Text me if you need anything else, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Unintentionally, you let JJ worm his way back into your life. One of the classes he struggled with you’d already taken so you fished out your old notes and tutored him for the rest of the semester through it. Sometimes he’d show up at your closing shifts he wasn’t scheduled on and sit at the bar doing schoolwork and distracting you. He did at least always help close which was a huge improvement from when you worked at the Wreck and he showed up to cause problems.

One night was interrupted when the door swung open five minutes from closing. You sighed, not wanting to dirty anything you’d just cleaned, and forced a customer service smile on your face. To your surprise, Kie walked through the door, beaming widely at you.

“Long time, no see!” she called out, opening her arms for a hug.

You beamed and set the rag down on the counter, wrapping her up tightly. She squeezed around your middle hard and you sighed, “Missed you, Carrera.”

“Missed you too.”

She sat next to JJ and the three of you caught up while you and your coworker finished the closing duties. You nodded at her to leave when she held up the garbage bag to let you know she was heading out after a trip to the dumpster.

Kie stood, “Okay, we have to meet up with everyone else, none of us have seen JJ’s apartment yet.”

“Hope you cleaned, JJ,” you told him, bumping your elbow into his side with a laugh before continuing, “last time I was there it was questionable.”

“It’s clean,” JJ defended himself, “you caught me on a bad day.”

“Bad month, more like,” you retorted, laughing when he flipped you off in response.

Kie watched the two of you, amused, “Wow JJ, you’ve come a long way.”

John B and Pope stepped out of the restaurant next door, hands full of food bags, before you or JJ could respond and greeted you just as eagerly as Kie had.

“Getting the gang back together,” John B cheered, lifting two of the bags in the air.

You originally had plans to drink wine and watch the new season of Stranger Things, but the prospect of seeing some of your old friends was too enticing. JJ’s eyed you as you shifted on your feet, “You sure you guys want me butting in.”

Kie rolled her eyes, “We thought you knew we were coming in. JJ said he’d tell you.”

“Hey, don’t pin this on me, I wanted it to be a surprise!” he defended.

Pope spoke in what you think was meant to be a mockery of JJ’s voice, “Don’t bother bro, I’ll just text her and let her know.”

With a laugh, John B added, “It was just like old times whenever we needed alcohol and you’d be all ‘I’m going to visit her at work today, we’ll just swing by and get some after, I’ve got this’. The nostalgia was overwhelming, J.”

JJ scowled at his friends as the teasing continued. You’d known about his crush on you back then, tried not to encourage it because you knew you were leaving and because of the underage situation, but it was funny to hear about it from the other side.

“Okay, so we headed to JJ’s place?” you finally interrupted, saving him from the merciless teasing.

“My place,” JJ confirmed and you broke apart into two separate groups, one in JJ’s car and one in yours.

Kie rode with you and took control of the music, like always. You smiled, “Really is just like old times, huh?”

A few weeks later, one of the Thursday night shifts, JJ seemed less enthused than normal. You didn’t want to pry but you were worried about him. After a few more half answers from him, you finally stopped drying the dishes, “Maybank, what’s going on?”

“My fucking-“ he trailed off for a few seconds before shaking his head and continuing, “my dad called asking for money. Apparently, he’s broke and he owes his dealer. I just can’t, god I can’t fucking escape him.”

He wasn’t crying, but you’d never seen JJ’s jaw so tense before and your heart ached for him. You dried your hands off and pulled him into a tight hug, “Your dad is a piece of shit and you deserve better.”

“Do I?” he asked, almost hysterically, while he tried to pull away.

You didn’t let him go far, “Yes, you do. You’re a good guy who deserves to be happy and successful and far away from his dad’s reach.”

“I wish I could see it like that,” he murmured, voice breaking halfway through. JJ’s whole body shuddered a few times as he fought tears harder than he ever had before. He didn’t want to break down in front of you and look like a child.

“How about you go get dinner, I’ll go buy some alcohol, and we meet at my apartment and watch movies tonight.”

JJ’s lips quirked up into the briefest smile you’d ever seen, “Stepping back into that plug role, huh?”

“Turn 21 then,” you told him, shoving him away gently.

“Two months, and then I’ll finally be able to start repaying my alcohol debts.”

“You’re going to be buying me drinks for years, J.”

He held his pinky out, looking significantly more cheered up, “I promise.”

You linked pinkies with him before pulling him into one more hug with one last thought, “You’re going to have to stick around for a while to keep that promise.”

He cleared his throat, almost nervously, and you pulled away, confused. JJ wouldn’t look you in the eye when he spoke, “Surely you knew.”

“What?” you weren’t really prepared to have the conversation that seemed to be happening.

“That I liked you, idolized you practically. You were so cool and older and you dealt with all my shit.”

“J,” you warned, not sure if you liked where it was going.

He let out a sad laugh, “Please just be honest with me, you knew right?”

With a sigh, you pulled your hat off and clutched it in your hands, “I knew.”

“Fuck,” he mumbled, hands shoved deep in his pockets. JJ looked up at the ceiling with a sharp inhale before continuing, “Fuck, I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable. And then I came here and started doing it again.”

And you had to stop that train of thought right there, “Woah, wait, it doesn’t bother me, JJ, you know that right? Like I do enjoy having you around.”

Eyebrows raised, JJ finally made eye contact with you, “What?”

“Well I mean,” you shifted your weight from one foot to the other, suddenly unsure how to continue, “I guess it was a little weird when you were in high school, but it’s not so bad now.”

“What?” he repeated, faintly this time.

You rolled your eyes, “Fucking hell, JJ, really?”

He held his hands up in defense, “Hey, I was walking into this conversation ready to get rejected, let me be surprised.”

“I cannot deal with you, go buy the food, oh my god.”

JJ grinned at you cheekily, “Is this a date?”

You hated him. So much.

He grabbed your hand and squeezed, “Are you asking me out right now?”

“I’m about to rescind the offer if you don’t quit.”

“I can’t believe the day has finally come. Kie is going to flip her shit,” JJ told you, leading you out of the empty shop.

“God, what have I gotten myself into,” you muttered.

JJ stopped walking and looked at you with a soft smile, all traces of teasing gone, “Hey,” he got your attention, “thanks for everything, now and then.” Before you could answer, he continued, “Best plug I ever had.”

“God dammit, JJ!” you exclaimed and his laughter echoed down the empty street as the two of you walked to the po-boy place, hands swinging between you.

[thatsnotevenmeh]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ you thought i was DONE? ♥

��𝓘 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓮 𝓶𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼

imma just do the first 13 now, then do one a day after this heh

1: sw--260 (yes i know, fucking fatspo over here) cw--173 (still gross lmao)     gw--130  ugw--110 to 100 

2: Im 5′8″ and i do like it, but i wish i was taller anyway so i can look more lean

3: I have a whole folder on my laptop dedicated to thinspo but here’s what i wanna look like...although sometimes i feel conflicted. DO I WANNA BE THICC OR A STICC I DONT KNOW AHHHHHHH

I have a thing for thighs...but then again i ALSO want my leg to be the size of a monster can lmaoooo also i want a flat stomach (borderline concave, something about it justt makes me wanna NUT). I JUST REALIZED I BASICALLY WANNA BE MY OWN FAP MATERIAL AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

4: im scared of all the loose skin im gonna have, it really freaks me out thinking about it so i try my best to keep my skin firm

5: i have a few reasons, i used to get bullied about it all my life so i wanna prove everyone wrong, i wanna be skinner than my model of a sister (shes actually been offered modeling contracts and everything), i want to look good for my boyfriend, and i want to finally feel pretty in my own skin. 

6: lmao i binge a LOT, i have this bad habit of craving greasy and fatty foods when im stressed or upset. Also i have a chocolate addiction so yeah trying to deal with that 

7: My dad couldnt care less since i see him like 2-4 times a year, and my mom likes to sabotage my weight loss. after she noticed i started losing, she’d always buy me fast food, junk food, etc. Then she’d have me stay home while she and my sisters when to the gym ;-; And as soon as i weighed less than her, she took me out for cheesecake and wouldnt let me take it home. not fun

8: Now that im in college (and an RA), I end up walking about 5k or more everyday. But i do try for at least 6-7k a day instead. Every morning I do a April Han routine, and every night ill do the same one i did that morning. ill do stretches, jump rope, or do literally whatever whenever i just feel gross. And i go to the gym if i wanna punish myself (i have really bad social anxiety so it like a REALLY big punishment)

9: ALL THE TIME. ive been called pretty much every name in the book. 

10: my dignity. I literally have a bag filled with ziploc bags filled with puke/spat out food in my room so i can avoid my housemate finding out about me purging and stuff

11: i mean, i dont really look at blogs anymore, i just go on tumblr all the time

12: NORMALLY ill eat like a normal ass student; ramen, chicken, sandwiches, bacon, mcdonalds (any fast food really) etc. 

13: I dont even know anymore. Im eating healthier and working out more, but i still eat like 1000 or less cals a day. I punish myself by making myself walk more than my body can handle. I self harm if i feel like a failure (so far im a week clean, but i got 50 new razors and a full stocked med kit, and 10 different packs of bandaids). Since im fat, i feel like im being healthy. But deep down, i know that this is wrong. I know im sick, its why im here. but its an addiction. I HAVE to be thin. i HAVE to. its not a choice anymore. ill literally KILL myself if i cannot do it. 

[imnotwolverine]

Happy New Year, and hello 1000 followers!!

Hello dear readers! Welcome in my writing nook, and welcome in 2021 - FINALLY!! 

2020′s been a long year. A sad year. A year that felt like March for 9 months straight. A year that left a little dent in my corner of the couch as I was huddled away, writing in the most awkward positions because my cats tried to get on my lap alongside my laptop (it doesn’t fit - trust me, kitties). 

But, it was also a fun year; I could spend long hours reading and writing to my heart’s content. Meeting new people, and discovering kinks and fantasies I never knew were even a thing. To that; thank you my fellow horny bitches, you gave me the perseverance to work on getting proper orgasms, buying a sex toy and making my boyfriend very confused about what-the-hell was going on with me. (thankfully the shock is now gone and he’s enjoying this new horny me far too much 😂)

In more fun news; I just noticed my once small reader tribe has crossed the 1000 follower-mark (WHAT?! HOW?! YOU GUYS AND GALS ARE AMAZING -- *bounces off the walls*) 

I don’t really know how to thank you all for your love and support in reaching this unique milestone. But to those who are just crazy about reading, let me share with you something from my vault of short stories - a little side project next to this blog, to practise my writing ❤️

The Keeper

This new world order was hardly orderly.

--

It was dusty chaos, filtering in through the sole newspaper-covered window above the door that had just veered at the return of the Old Man, his persistent coughs making that same dust curl and swirl through the air.

Feeling my old bones crack, I took a moment, stretching out on my paper throne of Descartes’ body of work, before I jumped aside so he could add his new-found treasures to this grand collection of paper-bound napping nooks.

It was a good new stack. Six thick covers, the pages yellowed and musky in smell. Perfection, really. Old, gold, glorious perfection. But the Old Man didn’t seem to share my sentiment; his leathery face was wrinkled with concern, heavy brows furrowing like a thick hairy caterpillar above his gentle eyes.

Finding a new spot I swished my long tail, more dust swirling up in the single streak of light that caressed the silhouette of the Old Man.

I hadn’t seen him this worried since we met all those long years ago, his warm hands taking me to this dusty good place that I called my home. Our home. A home that oozed old world magic; thousands of books all lined up in ceiling-high cabinets, their vastness somewhat resembling the sky-high buildings outside; that is however where the comparison stopped. This place was warm, kind, soothing. It smelled nice, felt nice, housed mice - my favourite.

Outside, the world was cold, white, wicked. It smelled of chemicals and disdain, the presence of nature and animals one not wished for in its green, disorganised beauty. But the Old Man had been different. Had been. Right now he moved with the same hasty manner the men outside did, his heavy feet moving daintily past the hastily stacked collections, the structure in them long gone.

The same had happened to the ever structured and unchanging man I once knew; The Old Man was looking older each day, which was strange for a being I thought immaculate and immortal. In my long years of life I had never truly ever seen any differences in this man, his wrinkles ever wrinkly and his eyes ever curious. But, these past few weeks I started having my doubts. I never liked change, but change was suddenly here in abundance. I could hear it on the nervous streets outside. I could feel it in my aching bones and the knits in my pelt. I could feel it in the lack of scratches I received, the Old Man suddenly more occupied with the world outside than in.

This new world order was a terrible thing indeed.

Stretching up my aching back, I curled my tail around my paws, watching as the man passed yet again, his eye catching mine for just a second, his feet slowing down so he could give me a long overdue sign of affection.

“Hello Minnie.” He said gently, his warm voice making my muscles tremble in delight, “I’m afraid you’ll have to wait yet a moment longer. Duty calls!” And with that he disappeared once more, the door hastily closed behind him as he moved back out into the streets that no longer had names.

Everything was changing and I didn’t like it one bit.

--

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away - or actually a few streets from here - I lived a perilous life of hunting, fighting, mating and waiting. You see: I was not made for the streets I lived in, the large neon lit signs up above too bright for my eyes and the food too sparse to feed the real hunger inside of me. The hunger that goes beyond the growling of the stomach; it was the hunger that gnawed at my brain and my heart as I watched dark figures pass by beneath their umbrellas, their eyes not directed at me, but at my much shinier counterparts on those sky-licking white screens.

e-Cat, e-Book, e-Love..e-Life. The words sparked with promise on beaming backgrounds, luring in the attention of the drifting souls down on the streets. Luring them in to look up, up and away from the truth that could be found right at their feet. A truth that once, an age or so ago, was so very normal.

It must have been a good time then. With ear-scratches and hugs and real talking; I had once even seen humans talk so close to another that their lips touched. And they seemed to find it very agreeable indeed, their lips curling in what the Old Man had explained to be smiles.

Smile (verb)

Form one's features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.

Humans are peculiar beings.

Then, one day, someone looked down, not up. A man, a dreamer probably, his step shortly disrupted from his travels as our eyes met and, just like that, I was invited into his life, his shovel-sized hands picking me up and stuffing my scrawny bones beneath his warm jacket.

The Old Man.

--

“Why..I thought you had gotten rid of this?” A new voice entered the small haven of books, the door swiftly closed again. Their hushed voices made me blink open my eyes, a flickering light turned on to brush artificial light over the Old Man and the new person. A Young Woman.

She was pretty I think. Her hair cut just beneath her ears and her body wrapped in a large, fresh smelling jacket. I liked her smell. She smelled of my creatures, two males I think. And so with a little more curiosity I yawned and stretched, welcoming the two back in my domain.

“Hi there Minnie.” The Old Man wistfully scratched me behind the ear.

His voice sounded fragile as crystal, his eyes looking equally translucent as they shimmered in the low light of the single light bulb.

“OH..what am I to do, Dee? It’s just..” He turned back towards the woman, her eyes still looking in honest amazement at the huge collection of books stacked up high to the ceiling.

“Well..this is more than a ..little problem, Badger.” She looked back at him, teeth biting down onto her lip in thought. Humans sure had a weird way of expressing distress. Why didn’t she just hiss or growl? Furl up that pretty mane of her? - At least she got the eyes right.

With a quick flick of her large pupils she looked at me, then the books again.  

“Alright. I’ll..I’ll see what we can do.” And with that she disappeared back out of the door, back into the mayhem of white light and clicking feet on cold pavement.

--

“Hahaha. Oh, aren’t you a happy little purr-machine?” His large hand stroked comfortably over my back, my legs stretching out a little further to give him extra length to touch and soothe.

“How about I read you something, hmm? Ever seen one of these?” He picked an object from one of the shelves, the thing foreign, but smelling of forests and sweat. I liked that smell.

“It’s a book. A very old, nearly extinct..book.” He shuffled a little in his seat, his hand scratching over my chin as he sensed my shock-surprise at being moved. And then he opened this so-called ‘book’, his deep voice sending warm vibrations through my body, my eyes closing slightly as I let him take me away to another world. A world with a thousand trees. And nymphs. And gods - which I think from his descriptions, are like humans but then ever older.

Every few minutes or so he would turn a page, a new whiff of smells entering my satisfied nostrils. I was warm, safe and quite content, my muscles vibrating along with the man’s words as he relieved the ache deep in my soul. I had never heard or smelled such words as his, but I liked them very much.

--

A loud crack burst open the door, that fierce white light burning my eyes as I quickly skedaddled, getting out of the line of sight of whatever horrific beasts were here to break into my sanctuary. Humans, their smells not to my liking. Too much rubber, plastic and other synthetic whiffs.

“Take him.” One spoke, the others following his curt instructions, the Old Man being mercilessly dragged from the corner where he trembled like a child, his large body not small enough to hide behind the books like I could.

It all happened so quickly that I wasn’t sure whether it had happened at all, the small room quiet and the dust settled before I dared to look again. I waited and waited. The night came and went, but the Old Man didn’t return. My hunger did though. The gnawing, aching emptiness made my bones clatter in their furry furbishments and I tried my best to understand the words the Angry Men had spoken.

“Incinerate elsewhere. Risk of attention. Incinerate elsewhere. Risk of attention.” The words had near eaten me alive when the dark door opened finally, the satisfying scent of two tomcats alerting me it was her. She was not happy though, my heart already aching for her before she could switch on the light, her tears muffled behind a pale hand.

“Oh gods.” She squirmed when the light bulb flickered on, her eyes roaming over a new trail that led over the floor, the smell reminding me of food..though I hadn’t found any, anywhere.

“Oh gods..Badger.” Her eyes started to rain, her lip trembling in pain as she cried out.

That is the moment when I crawled out of my hiding, my careful paws walking towards her until she noticed me, her lips curling up in what I learned was that good emotion. A smile. Though on her it looked a little weird - were there more types of smiles? 

“Minnie.” She whispered, picking me up to cuddle until our short interaction was roughly disturbed by a sound outside. “Shit..Fuck..Okay we need to go.”

And, again, I found myself in the insides of a jacket. This time hers.

--

From the insides of the nice smelling jacket I heard a million voices spinning around us. Some human. Some metallic. Some whispering, some loud. My ears were folded flat against my skull by the time the world quieted again, the two of us landing on a mattress in a mal-furnished room; there were simply too few comfortable places to lay on, the mattress the only surface that was to my liking.

The Young Woman got up, her nose sniffling with the threat of more tears as she conjured up some food and water. Strange food and water. The type that was the standard these days. Tasteless. Shapeless. Soulless food. And disgustingly sterile water. Blergh.

But thankfully this new place brought me something good: the woman was more than eager to hug and cuddle, her body sinking down onto the mattress again so I could crawl up to her, her eye-water sinking into my fur as she held me close.

I wanted to speak to her then, and I did. I talked and talked and talked. But I’m not sure if she understood me. Why was all this water coming from her eyes? Was she the goddess of rain? I leaned in heavier into her warm chest and felt my muscles buzz with eagerness.

And then she found it. My greatest secret. The thing that the new world order was supposed to hate according to the Old Man.

Scratching my chin, I easily surrendered it to her, her fingers removing the small tube from my collar, unscrewing and finding two things: a miniscule piece of paper, reminding me of the smell of home, and some type of metal pill-tube-thing.

Silently she read the words, her lip trembling again with emotion, before they turned into a watery smile - happiness, love, good!

“Oh, I will..I will.” She mumbled.

Curiosity sparked in me and I spoke to her again, begging for her attention: “Please tell me what it reads!” -- And of course she couldn’t understand my words, but the sentiment was clear I think, for she now finally read it aloud:

“Code Minerva. Keeper of Wisdom. 112049 - Erase after uploading. Ps. she loves ear scratches.”

--

It was the day the new world order fell into true chaos.

I liked it very much.  

--

General Tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss @tumblnewby @magdelen69 @thereisa8ella @mary-ann84 @darkbooksarwin @summersong69 @madbaddic7ed @luclittlepond @maroonmolly @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @hell1129-blog @agniavateira @tillthelandslide @elinesama @aletheladyinred​

[theotherjourney7]

“The Week In Tory returns for the second time in 4 days.

The weeks grow shorter, but the days last forever...

1. The consultant who advised the government to look for "alternative arrangements" on the Irish Border is in line for a £200m contract if alternative arrangements go ahead.

But to facilitate this, the government has to break international law with the Internal Market Bill (IMB)

Nobody can tell us what the "alternative arrangements" are, but the IMB passed through parliament anyway.

2. The UK’s highest-ranking law officer in Scotland resigned over the IMB

& The UK’s special envoy on media freedom, Amal Clooney (yes, that one) quit over IMB

3. The former (Tory appointed) ambassador to USA said the IMB was "hugely damaging to our international reputation"

4. Those snowflake liberal Remoaners Toby Young, Peter Hitchens and Tim Montgomerie turned on the govt over IMB. As did every living former-Prime Minister.

5. Joe Biden said there would be no UK/US Trade Deal if the IMB went ahead

But, Iain Duncan Smith said "we don’t need lectures" from Joe Biden

Trump’s special envoy to Northern Ireland also said there would be no Trade Deal

Apparently, Iain Duncan Smith does need lectures. Who knew?

6. Oh, and IMB also includes a provision allowing the government to break absolutely any law, absolutely any time!!!!!

7. Unrelated, I’m sure, but the number of "problem drinkers" in England doubled this year

So the government cut funding to alcohol addiction services

8. Dominic Raab, whose job it is to understand the Good Friday Agreement, admitted he hasn’t read the Good Friday Agreement

His excuse is: "it’s not a novel". True. Novels tend to be longer than 35 pages, aren't vital to solving conflicts that killed 3600 people

9. The Prime Minister, who literally voted to break a deal he signed with the EU, said the EU was "not negotiating in good faith"

The next morning, Northern Ireland minister and arch memo-misser Brandon Lewis went on TV and said "I believe the EU is negotiating in good faith"

10. It was revealed the Smart Freight System to handle post-Brexit trade won’t be ready until at least April 2021.

That’s at least 4 months without a freight handling system, during the time of year we rely on food imports the most

11. The Road Haulage Association said a meeting with Michael Gove to discuss border checks provided "no clarity" and was "a washout"

12. An official report says 2-day queues at Dover in January are "a certainty"

So the government closed a Covid test site in Kent, to convert it into a lorry park, in what experts (well, me) are calling "the world’s shittest game of whack-a-mole"

13. The government said people would be fined £1000 if they don’t self-isolate after getting a positive test

And then all tests ran out in the 10 worst-hit Covid hotspots

And then all home testing kits ran out, nationally

And then the website for booking tests broke, and just showed a series of error messages.

And then the government said the system was under strain because people were asking for tests when they didn’t know they were infected

So [deep breath] you must self-isolate after getting a test that doesn’t exist, and you can only get a test if you already know the result

14. Naturally, honesty no-fly-zone Home Office Secretary Priti Patel went on Radio 4 and announced tests were available everywhere and there were "no problems getting tests"

Same day - same hour, in fact - Prime Minister Boris Johnson said the testing system "has huge problems"

Jacob Rees-Mogg, who simply cannot shut up about fish, said we should stop the "endless carping" about not being tested for a fatal infection

15.Prime Minister Boris Johnson went on national TV and announced a "£100bn moonshot" approach to Covid, which would test "10m people per day"

Three days later, in front of a Parliamentary Committee, said he "didn’t recognise" the figure of 10m a day

And it was reported his half-brother is on the board of the business that would get most of the £100bn budget, which I’m sure is just a massive coincidence

Officials branded the moonshot as "Moonfuck"

16. And then Health Secretary Matt Hancock had to ask other cabinet ministers to stop referring to him as "Matt WankCock"

Despite appearances, these are not 7 year old boys

17. Food news, and Tory MP Douglas Ross said "I have seen the difference free school meals can make, and I want to make sure nobody falls through the cracks"

Douglas Ross voted against free school meals

18. Prime Minister Boris Johnson said we cannot put punitive restrictions on food imports from the EU (to force them to give up on Ireland), or we will starve

And then, minutes later, he agreed with a Brexiter MP who said we SHOULD put punitive restrictions on food imports from the EU

19. Prime Minister Boris Johnson said "I venerate our civil service" after sacking the innocent heads of multiple departments to protect friends including Gavin Williamson and Dominic Cummings. And as a result, people leaving the civil service rose 14% in a year

20. Planning-ahead news: an international conglomerate pulled out of a £16bn power project because the government hasn’t performed its part of the deal for the last 20 months

21. Funding cuts since 2010 meant the government had to inject £700m to prevent further education going bankrupt

22. This week it was found the government– which last week voted not to implement the recommendations of the Grenfell Tower Inquiry – has also failed to deliver its promise to remove the same dangerous cladding from at least 2000 tower blocks. Sleep well.

And then the government said files on Grenfell were "lost forever", after a laptop was wiped. Because everything is always stored on a single laptop. We all know this.

The government runs G-Cloud, its own dedicated cloud backup service, which has been active since 2012. So... yeah.

23. At a committee in parliament, an MP read out the Covid test figures. Dido Harding, in charge of testing, said “I’m sorry, that’s just not true, I don’t know where that number is from”

It was from her own report. Page 8. In bold type.

Dido Harding said "nobody could predict" a rise in demand for testing

Government scientists predicted it, and in a July report sent to Dido Harding – maybe it was a different one? - said "July and Aug must be a period of intense preparation for a September resurgence in Covid"

Oh, and standard advice says the NHS must always prepare for cold and respiratory infections to spike immediately after the return to school in September

Dido Harding wasted £13m on a "world-beating" testing app that cost £12.3m more than the German app, and didn’t work

She is now in charge of the test-and-trace service which has collapsed completely

So naturally, it was reported the government wants to sack the head of NHS England and install Dido Harding instead. Let's make the most of that successful record, eh?

24. In June the government tweeted "grab a drink and raise a glass, pubs are reopening"

The Prime Minister said "it is your patriotic duty to go out and enjoy yourselves"

This week they said the public is responsible, and "people going to the pub fuelled the rise in Covid"

So the government closed pubs at 10pm, because it’s well-known viruses only pop out for last orders.

25. Health Secretary Matt Hancock said the government "threw a protective ring around care homes"

A leaked document said care homes are now being asked to accept patients who are known to have Covid

26. Hospitals were banned from launching their own testing regime for staff and patience because… nope, nobody knows why. Just because.

27. There hasn’t been a meeting of COBRA (the government’s committee for national emergencies, headed by the Prime Minister) since 10th May

28. As Covid infections surged, Health Secretary Matt Hancock said restrictions are increasing, and pointed to a chart showing the government has "moved to alert level 3". Level 3 is "a gradual relaxing of restrictions". Not only can't he remember his own alert system, he can't even read it.

29. Despite travel restrictions, it was reported the Prime Minister flew off for a long weekend in Perugia, where his friend the Russian billionaire Evgeny Lebedev lives. He denies it, but the airport has his landing documents. So either he’s lying or... no, that’s the end of that sentence

30. In June the government spent £500m on a GPS satellite system to replace the one we lose due to Brexit

In July it was reported "we bought the wrong satellites"

This week the government cancelled the programme and began asking the EU if we can keep on using their GPS system

31. A cross-party committee of MPs found nurse-Ratched cosplayer Home Office Secretary Priti Patel "bases immigration policies on anecdotes and prejudice"

It found her dept has "no idea" what its annual spending achieves, and referred to "the wreckage that [Patel’s department’s] ignorance caused"

She is one of the favourites to replace Prime Minister Johnson

32. This is because it was reported the Prime Minister is thinking of quitting because he’s worried about his personal finances: the poor man has to "pay tax", "buy his own food" and "support 4 of his 6 children". Oh, the humanity!

33. And Jonathan Aitken – look him up – continues to get privileged access to parliament despite a ban on MPs who have served more than a year in prison. Which he did. And it was hilarious.

34. And finally, because he always needs a guest appearance, Chris Grayling, the man who awarded a ferry contract to a company with no ships, has got a £100k appointment to advise ports”-Russ

[samtheflamingomain]

i'm done.

I've had a pretty hard life. I rarely say it like that because it sounds like a pity party, but objectively, I've Been Through It.

I've lived at about half of what they call the poverty line in Canada for my entire adult life.

Then in March 2020 something happened that forced me to stop working and stay at home for 8 months, and the government gave me 16,000$ to do so. For the first time in my entire life, I actually owed taxes. I cracked 20k. I was living like a king. I had SAVINGS!

Then when that program (CERB) ended, they switched us all over to EI (unemployment). Instead of 2 payments of $1000 every 2 weeks, we got about $800. Plus I was working for the parts of the year we were open. They subtract some money if you're working, but it still came out to about $2000/month.

Then, 2 weeks ago, I got my last EI payment, and they didn't bother to tell me. So when I went to fill it out the other day, I was told to kindly fuck off.

I'm lucky in that I'm still qualifying for disability, but their system is fucked. Everything is based on what happened last month. In August, I got three EI payments because of the way the days fell (got paid the 1st, 15th and 31st.) ODSP (disability) took one look at that month and said I get nothing for September.

September, I "made" around $1200 between working and EI. ODSP takes that and puts it through their algorithm that decides how much I get and will come up with around $300, which isn't even my rent, paid to me on the last day of October.

I'm lucky again that I do have savings. After needing a new laptop, a lot of surprise dental problems, and October's rent, I halved my savings in a month. I had fucking plans for that money. Mostly getting a tattoo sleeve and possibly going back to school. All that's out the window.

My biweekly paychecks are usually around $180. I'm anorexic, so my grocery bill is less than what I pay to have a cat. My only other expenses are my phone and smokes. I'll probably be able to survive. Just barely.

But after living slightly closer to the poverty line, I don't want to go back to barely scraping by. This year has been the best year of my entire life mental health-wise. Almost like money CAN buy happiness.

On the first of every month, I add up what I spent on everything, and even having quit drinking, I was in the red for the first time in a long time today.

In one fucking week, I went from the happiest I've ever been to actively planning my suicide.

My job is very physical, and I'm not qualified for anything where I could sit. My body is slowly giving up. I went from being able to do 20h a week to barely making it through my 2 3.5h shifts a week.

So here's what I'm going to do. For a few months, I'm going to Suffer. Work my ass off until I absolutely can't anymore. Save as much as humanly possible.

Then I'm going to stop working, stop taking the drugs that keep me from being manic, start drinking again, go absolutely nuts for a few months, and when the last cent of my savings are gone, so am I. I'm going to kill myself.

I'm not pledging the next 50 years of my life to capitalism. Canada said during the pandemic, here's 2 grand a month, that's enough to live on, and then kept giving us disabled people $1200, a number that has not risen in the 7 years I've been on it.

Nobody fucking cares. We JUST had an election where the guy supporting UBI lost. For years I've just been waiting it out until UBI, but it's not happening. Not before my body quits, at least.

I give myself anywhere from 3 months to a year. I'll have to pare down my bucket list, but at least I'll have an excuse to start drinking and eating again.

If today has taught me anything, it's how life can go from 100-0 a lot faster than it took to go from 0-100. And it's just not worth trying to get back up to speed. It's never going to happen.

The only good thing about this long of a planned-out suicide is that I can pack as much hedonism into my last moments as possible. I get to experience my "last" everything. I'll make my last post about a month out. I don't know how long that'll be, but I'd say 6 months max.

On the bright side, our minimum wage went up by a whole ten cents today. That should help.

Stay Greater.

[kennexara]

i don’t know who decided graphics cards had to be so confusing but whoever you are I HATE YOU WITH A FUCKING PASSION.

i just want a laptop that can play newer videogames! (and will continue doing so for a few years). i don’t give a shit about ray tracing or ultra settings i just want decent playability!!! but noooo half the ~newer~ cards are probably the secret lower performing version that won’t fucking play the games i want so stop trying to tell me it’s a gaming laptop motherfucker.

on that note gaming laptop makers STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT LIGHTER AND THINNER ALL IT DOES IS CUT DOWN ON GAME PLAYABILITY. YOU KNOW. THE WHOLE FUCKING REASON I’M SHELLING OUT HUNDREDS MORE. I DON’T CARE IF IT WEIGHTS TWENTY POUNDS IF IT MEANS I CAN PLAY RECENT GAMES WITHOUT THE LAPTOP SOUNDING LIKE A JET ENGINE AND TRYING TO BURN MY THIGHS. 

‘why don’t you just buy an actual pc’ BC I WANT TO BE ABLE TO MOVE IT! FROM MY COUCH TO MY BEDROOM! THAT’S ALL! I CAN MOVE TWENTY POUNDS TWENTY FEET TWICE A DAY WE’LL CALL IT MY DAILY WORKOUT.

back to the graphics cards. gtx vs rtx? i get it you switched to r for the ray tracing that i can follow.

but the whole ‘sometimes 1000s or 2000s are better than 3000s but not ALL bc some are like ‘we might as well have kept the graphics integrated bc this dedicated card don’t do shit’’ jfc why are you like this.

and then. you didn’t just stick to numbers. no. you had to throw in ti’s and super’s and motherfucking max-q’s I HATE YOU. ‘this is a rtx 3060 ti’ COOL BUT IS IT ALSO MAX Q BC I COULD GET A FUCKING GTX 1060 THAT WOULD WORK BETTER ACCORDING TO HALF THE ‘CAN YOU PLAY THIS GAME’ SITES AS LONG AS THE 1060 IS 6 GB WHICH YOU ALSO WON’T FUCKING TELL ME IN THE SPECS I HATE THIS.

and then. the the other reviewers. someone will ask ‘is this max-q’ and two people will answer yes and two people will answer no. HOW DOES NOBODY KNOW WHAT THE LAPTOPS ACTUALLY ARE.

i s2g i’m about ready to just buy a fucking tower and stick it on a cart. i mean i already have my second monitor on this cart. i just get an external keyboard to go with my mouse and we’re good, right??

[foxtennessee59]

Protrader

PTMC is a powerful trading software from creators of Protrader. PTMC gives traders more ways to reach the right decisions on different markets, include Forex. Financial freedom made easy. A mobile first trading and investment platform that integrates with the market exchanges and invests your savings.

If you scroll down you will see that there is a lot of stuff that will help you with your trading here. In addition, we’ll add more as the trading landscape changes and new resources become available. You can click on the logo to the left of the text to open a new tab featuring whatever is being discussed.

Think or Swim

This platform was purchased by TD Ameritrade a number of years ago and is one of the most sophisticated options trading platforms available today. You can also trade stocks and futures with them. If you are into options it is extremely worthwhile to open a small account with them so that you can use their option analyzing tools. In this area, they are well above all but the most expensive option tools out there.

TradeStation

Tradestation has been around for a long time and is well known in the industry. They offer some of the best charting software in the business. You can enter orders right from the software and they support many different order types. You can also trade futures and stocks from the same account.

LightSpeed Trading

These guys are geared toward the active semi-pro or professional trader. You can do all your trading from a single Lightspeed account whether you’re trading equities or options, trading to multiple destinations, or trading for multiple funds. Lightspeed is an introducing broker to Merrill Lynch Professional Clearing, and Wedbush Clearing and Execution.

Interactive Brokers

An excellent broker if you know what you are doing. Their customer service used to have a bad reputation but seems to improved significantly in recent years. They offer very competitive pricing and do expect you to be quite knowledgeable. They are a good choice for experienced active traders. Their commission structure allows easy scaling in and out of positions and they have an extensive set of order type choices.

Ally Invest

This broker tries to combine low commissions with good tools and customer service. There is no commission fee on U.S. listed stocks and ETFs and no ticket fee on option trades and a contract fee of just 50¢ per contract. They started out with the idea of fostering a trading community and claim focus on customer service by offering knowledgeable staff who answer the phone quickly as well as easy access to chat and quick responses to e-mails.

Fidelity

Fidelity has traditionally been more geared toward the investor than the active trader, but over the past five years or so they have also catered more to active traders. While not a direct access broker, their commissions are very competitive. They offer zero commissions on stock and ETF trades and $0.65 per contract on option trades. They also offer more robust customer service than most direct access brokers.

E*Trade

E*Trade is well known for it’s ubiquitous advertising. They have been around for a while and now offer zero commission on stocks and ETFs with $0.65 per contract on options. They claim to cater to all types of traders and have a special platform they call eTrade Pro for active traders.

Tradezero

Tradezero is an offshore broker which allows small accounts to daytrade. There is no commission on limit orders that add liquidity. They clear with Vision Clearing. They offer 6 to 1 leverage. You can read the FAQ here. They have recently opened a US branch with regular leverage and zero commissions as well. As with many brokers, you might want to use them for trade executions but use a separate charting package for your charts.

Schwab

Charles Schwab was the first of the major US full service brokers to switch over to zero commission stock and ETF trading. They charge $0.65 per option contract. They have generally offered superior customer service in tandem with low commission structures over the years and are a very reasonable choice for a broker.

Tastyworks

Tastyworks is a relatively new brokerage started by Tom Sosnoff who was instrumental in starting thinkorswim and sold it to TD Ameritrade. They offer a competitive commission structure which you can check out here. You can use a small cash account to daytrade options and start each day with your settled funds balance as your buying power for the day.

Robinhood

Robinhood is a mobile app that allows you to trade stocks, ETFs, options and crypto. A major feature is that the trades are “commission free”. It looks like they now do their own clearing. You can read about that here. There are some distinct disadvantages to trading off of a phone, but you can also use a full featured platform along with robinhood to help you analyze the market.

TradeStation

The TradeStation platform has been around for many years and originally started out as Omega Charts. For a long time they were way ahead of the competition and likely pushed the evolution of trading platforms forward. They have integrated trading into most aspects of their software, so you can easily trade from the platform which is a very good feature. If you are into backtesting and system building, they have a programming language called EasyLanguage® which allows you to build and test systems. They also provide you with an extensive historical database to facilitate backtesting.

MultiCharts

MultiCharts is a charting and trading platform with a robust set of features. The platform allows backtesting and indicator creation with EasyLanguage. As with many of the better software packages you can do market replay which allows you to practice your trading risk free. It is a very customizable package so you have a lot of flexibility to set up your workspace in a way that suits your trading style.

TC2000

The TC2000 platform has very good clean, sharp looking charting with many added features. The watch lists are also very configurable. Another favorable aspect of this package is that you can add trendlines, etc. and they will still be there the next time you go to the chart. The following is from the TC2000 website: Scan and sort through 1000’s of stocks per second. Screen from hundreds of indicator & fundamental criteria customized with your parameters and time frames. Just follow the step-by-step wizard to build your custom conditions. No programming is required, but you can optionally write condition formulas to refine your results. TC2000 helps you find the charts you are looking for in real-time.

eSignal

eSignal has been around for a long time. They are one of the more pricey packages. Their charting is quite clean looking and their data is pretty good. They used to be at the forefront of charting packages, but others have caught up to them in recent years. You can check out their promo video here

AmiBroker

Amibroker has been around for almost thirty years. It is a charting and back-testing package that is extremely powerful and fast but not especially intuitive. It’s user base is fiercely loyal, but a large percentage of them are quite code savvy. For the average user, there will probably be a steep learning curve. All that would be well and good, except for the fact that the user manual is a bit much to decipher and the tech support is done mostly by e-mail and a yahoo message group of all things! Here is the user database. I would highly recommend this software if it had more user friendly support. The pricing is very reasonable.

Trading View

Here is what Tradingview has to say about their services: Easy and intuitive for beginners, and powerful enough for advanced chartists – TradingView has all charting tools you need to share and view trading ideas. Real-time data and browser-based charts let you do your research from anywhere, since there are no installations or complex setups. Just open TradingView on any modern browser and start charting, learning and sharing trading ideas! It’s basically a community platform for sharing trading ideas and also offers real time charting capabilities.

Medved Trader

Jerry Medved is a programmer who developed and founded “QuoteTracker” years ago and eventually sold it out to TD Ameritrade. QuoteTracker was an excellent charting program that was very reasonably priced and could be had at a discount through various brokers. When Jerry sold it out to TD Ameritrade, he apparently was not able to compete with them for a set amount of time. It appears as though the non-compete is expired because he recently came out with Medved Trader. In the spirit of QuoteTracker, Medved Trader is a full featured, reasonably priced, well put together trading software package. Here is a demo of Medved Trader done by Jerry himself. You can get it for free from some brokerages including TradeKing and Tradier brokerages.

NinjaTrader

NinjaTrader’s platform is a capable charting package with numerous valuable features. You can add indicators and trade off the charts if you like. It facilitates back-testing as well. Here is the platform purchase page. You can download and try out simulated trading for free in order to get to know the platform. It can be configured to work with a number of different brokers and comes free with a NinjaTrader account if you do a certain volume of trades per month.

SierraChart

SierraChart is an excellent charting program which is compatible with a number of broker datafeeds as well as with many third party datafeeds. The price is reasonable and it is possible to trade right from the platform.

Sterling Trader Pro

A professional level platform, Sterling Trader Pro is used by prop firms, broker-dealers, and active traders. You can connect from your desktop, laptop, iPad, iPhone, or Android.

DAS Trader

DAS Trader is a high end trading platform which you can get through many brokers. It’s available on desktop, laptop, iPhone, or Android.

FinViz

These guys provide one of the best free scanners available on the net today. It’s so good, as a matter of fact, that you don’t really have to sign up for their paid service if you don’t want to. Although it seems as though they are geared toward the lower priced stocks when you look at the landing page, you can click on the screener section and set the parameters to your liking. It’s a great tool for getting quick background news and other info on stocks you are interested in. Simply click on the ticker and you’ll get a page with much of the pertinent fundamental information as well as recent news and a daily chart. For more info and intraday charts, you can subscribe for a very reasonable price.

Protrader.com

Trade Ideas

This service is a sort of artificial intelligence trading helper. You get to program the scans according to criteria that fits your scan ideas. If you get stuck, this software has many pre-frabricated scans that you can mix and match. The scanning is very current and you will get as many alerts as you can handle provided you give it enough to look for.

Your Broker’s Stock Scanner

Don’t forget to check out your broker’s scanner. Many brokers license commercial scanning software either in whole or part. You might be surprised how close the results are to those of software you would pay a significant extra fee for. I highly recommend that you check this out first before spending extra money on a paid service.

Protrader Web

Market Watch

MarketWatch is a subsidiary of Dow Jones and Company, the same company that owns the Wall Street Journal and Barrons. Although the news is not timely enough for active day trading, it offers a lot of useful news covering all sorts of things and can give you an overall look at what is happening in the Market. It has a lot of entertaining and fluff news as well.

CNBC

As you already probably know, CNBC is a financial news network covering current events related to the world markets. It is up to you to decide how useful the information presented here is. There is no doubt that there is a lot of “hype” on this station, but they do cover breaking events that are important to daily trading activities. You can find the pertinent info faster with subscriber news services, but a lot of people enjoy watching CNBC for entertainment purposes as well.

Bloomberg

Bloomberg.com is a business news website that covers news pertinent to the Markets as well as business in general. In some ways it is similar to CNBC but more sophisticated with less hype.

Yahoo Finance Economic Calendar

The Yahoo Economic Calendar is a good place to get the run down on what important market related announcements are coming up. If you don’t have this info elsewhere, it’s worth checking out before the market opens. They don’t update the results fast enough for active day traders, but at least you can be aware of when important reports are coming out and adjust your trading accordingly.

World Charts

Allstocks.com is a funky little website that features a lot of useful information for traders. The main page I use on this site is the world charts page which shows a time delayed read out of how the world markets are doing. It’s a quick way to get a snapshot of what occurred overnight around the globe.

Yaba Daba Doo!

Www.protraderinstitute.com

Rebate trading is an equity trading style that uses ECN rebates as a primary source of profit and revenue. Most ECNs charge commissions to customers who want to have their orders filled immediately at the best prices available, but the ECNs pay commissions to buyers or sellers who “add liquidity” by placing limit orders that create “market-making” in a security. Rebate traders seek to make money from these rebates and will usually maximize their returns by trading low priced, high volume stocks. This enables them to trade more shares and contribute more liquidity with a set amount of capital, while limiting the risk that they will not be able to exit a position in the stock.

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

y’know i love memes as much as anyone else on this hellsite and the internet in general. but one meme i can’t stand now, as well as a joke used by older comedians about ~kids today!!!! am i right???~ that i can’t stand now, is the one that’s like “all 10 year olds want today is an iphone or an ipad or a macbook for their birthday or christmas! all i got for my 10th birthday/christmas as a kid was a tennis racquet and a tether ball that hit me in the face! kids are so spoilt today! you better get an i-job to i-pay for your spoilt mac-ass!”

because like.... do you not understand that in today’s increasingly over-connected world, ipads and macbooks or other tablets/laptops are pretty much required school equipment now, if your 10yo kid’s primary/elementary etc school has a ~bring your own device~ policy for kids in years 4-6??? like obviously yes, some schools will provide students with laptop/tablet trolleys and stuff.... or also the government might have a program to roll out laptops/tablets to schools (like australia did under rudd and gillard).... that some schools will literally put “parents must get a reliable tablet computer or laptop computer for their child to use for assignments”. when it comes to high school, i imagine that they’ll need their own laptop/tablet the whole way through their time there, if there is no longer any school provided or limited school provided laptops/desktop computers/tablets.

that’s besides the point that laptops etc are even more so required now than ever before, after everyone was forced to do homeschooling because of covid??? so. practically. a kid asking for a macbook/ipad or other tablets/laptops for their birthday or christmas, isn’t such a bad idea for a present??? even if yeah. apple is overrated and overpriced to the max. but suck it up and pay for your child’s future education??? even it means getting a cheaper laptop or tablet for your kid.

all i can say on the above point is that yes. the idea of ~bring your own device~ policies does set many families back- especially those in/from lower income areas/backgrounds or single parent families... considering that a decent tablet will set you back at least $500 and a decent mini laptop is around the same.... but bigger and better laptops are around $1000 on sale (windows) or idek like $1,200 on an apple education pricing deal. like yeah. it’s a demarcation thing and also setting some people up to fail. and again, this has been made increasingly obvious during covid due to different families acces to buying laptops/tablets or other internet connection means. i also understand that these big ticket item purchases of tablets/laptops hits the hip pockets of everyone harder during the pandemic, especially if you’re struggling with debt like mortgage repayments or whatever while being made redundant or are being paid less while working from home.

okay. not to sound like a spoilt brat of a kid, but i got my first laptop, an i-book G4 for my 10th birthday in 2005. then almost 10 years later, i got a macbook for my 18th birthday (and for my HSC/end of high school exams) in 2013. yes, this is the macbook that i promptly fucked up two years later in 2015, by trying to encrypt the hard drive, since i was taking it to uni and it had all my internet passwords remembered on it along with my banking details. the same goes for my other windows laptop... where the hard drive just decided to fry itself like 4 months into me using it, along with the trackpad. and that was a $1,200 ASUS laptop (bought on sale) that i was using for uni. and then finally my little HP stream laptop’s keyboard shorted out halfway through a creative writing class (that was $500 and it only has a 28gb hard drive so it’s very light and good for transport).

but my point is, me having my own laptop (as opposed to using the family computer only) helped me immensely in my studies..... and they were literally fucking essential to me both in business college and uni. but they were also helpful in late high school, considering that 90% of my assignment work was expected to be typed out in microsoft word or powerpoint or excel (for maths and science). or for more creative projects, i was expected to use adobe photoshop and video editing software like imovie or adobe premiere pro (art/computer tech/drama/that weird year 7 subject i did called INTEL) and garageband/sibelius (for music). how on earth was i supposed to keep doing work on adobe photoshop or word etc at home if i didn’t have my own laptop to continue the work???

because as a final point, for me, literally by year 10 in 2011, NOT ONE of my assignments was expected to be handwritten (bar my actual exams or in class tests; also state tests/exams etc; or if it was a poster or visual art). if you dared to turn in something handwritten, the teacher and student interaction would be like the following example:

teacher to a kid whose handed in a handwritten assignment: did you not read the assessment outline? it said WORD PROCESSED WITH WORD! what is this handwritten thing? okay fine. i’ll take it this time. but read the outline next time, timothy!

timothy: *stammers out* s-sorry miss/s-sorry sir *stalks away from the teacher’s desk in embarrassment and shame*

the teacher, probs thinking to themself: weird that a kid thinks they can hand in something handwritten. silly, really.

the above scenario was the same for me in years 11 & 12. also, by year 9/2010, we were using the education management system moodle (and maybe early stage presi for online presentations) for both of our HSIE subjects (history and geography) and i think a couple of other subjects, during most lessons and especially for class work that involved group work/class discussions, via online discussion boards function. my year group was actually was actually one of the test year groups for the early models of moodle. so by the time i was in uni, i was a native to using moodle; so i could skip the “moodle help tutorial” subject portions on it in every class.

hell, for today, i wouldn’t be surprised if foreign language subject faculties in high schools are now using school subscription class accounts or something for duolingo or babbel. and today, kids are learning coding from like year 4 onwards, i think, on apps at school as part of their science & tech studies lesson portion of the day. how on fucking earth are kids meant to keep up with their class work progression on coding apps or whatever, at home, if they don’t have their own laptop/tablet??? ridiculous. how would kids fare today without their own laptop/tablet, if all of their classwork for homeschooling is on like google drive/cloud or whatever other open source drive/open source cloud software their school uses?? or any other apps that their school might use??? obviously we are seeing this play out in real time during the pandemic, world over, where if a child is in a single parent family or if their two parents don’t have adequate enough resources/have been fired or let go from their jobs/juggling working from home and homeschooling; then it’s hurting these kids likelihood of doing well with distance learning.

but yeah. my point is that if your kid is asking you for a laptop or a tablet (regardless of brand) for their birthday or christmas, maybe buy them one?? because you never know. it may be the very thing at the top of their student resource list for the following school year. and also. do you know what stops kids fighting over their access to the family computer/tablet to do their assessments etc??? buying them their own personal laptops or tablets. even if they do cost an arm and a fucking leg. get your heads out of your asses and help your own goddamned kids (or relatives if it’s a nephew/niece etc asking for one) like you’re supposed to.

okay. for phones. i’ll admit i wouldn’t like a 10 year old having their own phone, because of social media being so easy to access on them. but if you don’t allow them to use the app store and don’t allow them to download instagram/facebook et al..... and give them the phone solely for safety reasons, i think that’s fine?

i’ve had a phone since i was 10 years old. also not to sound awfully clichè, but i turned out okay??? i had to have a phone back in year 4/2005 due to safety and also family issues. do you know what my teachers did with it? locked it away in their desk til the end of the day. obvs they had to remind me to take it home sometimes (bc i did leave it behind at school in the desk a few times lmao) but yeah. i was alright. if a kid wants a phone..... maybe make a compromise and get the classic nokia 3310 or something?? like i obvs agree that kids as young as 10 defs don’t need a smartphone like an iphone or a samsung galaxy. but a rock solid and basic nokia 3310 or whatever with no wifi access??? that’s good enough imo.

[kieraelieson]

Dollhouse

G/t 42/100

Masterpost

••^*^••

42

Dollhouse

••^*^••

(Continued from 4,5,6,11,12,13,15,23,38, and 39. Roman can now get around a bit. He still has a splint on, but he has some makeshift crutches and can move around with them a good bit. Virgil is now back in his own room, and Patton is very happy that everyone seems to be getting along.)

“You want what?”

“I want a dollhouse. And other supplies.” Roman said.

“What for?” Virgil asked.

Roman crossed his arms as much as he could while holding onto crutches. “Does it matter?”

“Well, kinda. If I’ve got to be the one to buy it.”

“Well, I don’t want to tell you.”

Virgil frowned, but it was more confusion than annoyance. “I mean, I guess.”

Roman pushed while he was ahead. “I found one when you let me on your computer, and I want that one.”

Virgil’s frown deepened, but he pulled up the page on the laptop. “Oh. Well, it’s not that expensive. Yeah, I can get it for you. I just… never would have imagined you’d prefer a dollhouse to—“

“I said I don’t want to tell you what it’s for.”

“So you don’t want to live in it?”

“No.”

Virgil squinted suspiciously at Roman.

“Gonna need glasses if you keep that up,” Roman muttered under his breath, turning around to leave.

••^*^••

The dollhouse arrived. And soon after came the supplies. Roman started work immediately. He knew his skills, and what he could and couldn’t do with a leg still in a cast. So he began with pulling out all the ‘wallpaper’ and started painting the walls.

He took the fabric he still had, and cut and sewed it into rugs. He made curtains for the windows, and made curtain rods out of a toothpick and the ends of a popsicle stick, painted, of course.

Roman painted the outside of the house as well, though that was more difficult. He was a good painter, though he’d never in his life had as much opportunity to practice as this.

Patton helped as much as Roman would let him, and got more and more excited about the house every day.

It took several weeks to finish, and by then Roman was able to put a little weight on his leg, as long as it was still in the brace they’d made.

Roman waited until Patton was asleep, and went to find Virgil. Virgil was never asleep first.

“Virgil?”

“Hmm? Oh. Hi, Roman. Need something?”

Roman sat down on Virgil’s bedside table. His jaw was clenched tight, and he could barely open it to speak.

“The house is finished.”

“Yeah, I saw. It looks amazing.”

Roman swallowed heavily. “I’ve seen on your computer, and you could probably take it, and a few of the outfits I made, and sell them for anywhere between $500 and $1000.”

Virgil’s eyes widened, but he didn’t say anything.

“I want you to take the money and let Patton go. I-I know I’ll have to stay here. And what could $500 compare against a life anyway? But it’s a start, and I’ll do more. Once my leg heals I’ll be able to do it faster too.” Roman felt tears building up, and he kept talking, trying both to convince Virgil and to not let the tears fall.

“Roman, Roman, hey. Calm down.”

Roman scrubbed at his face angrily. “What’s calm about this?!” He growled out.

“Roman, I promise, I’m not holding either of you here. Anytime you want to leave, you can leave.”

“Yeah, and you’ll keep saying that right up until we actually try to leave!”

“No, I mean it. You can leave tomorrow. You can leave right now, if you want. I’ll miss you, but I won’t come after you. You can sit in that wall my whole life, and if you want me to ignore you and leave you alone I will. Or you can leave completely, and I won’t try to stop you.”

Roman’s guard against the tears broke. “You can’t do this! You can’t give and give and not expect anything back! It’s not how it works, I don’t believe you!”

“I have gotten paid back,” Virgil said. “I get to talk with you and Patton every day. You’re my friends. And if I ever even thought about money, that house would over and above pay back every cent I’ve spent on the both of you. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I-I don’t— I can't—“ Roman covered his face with his hands.

“Roman, I promise, you don’t owe me anything.” Virgil repeated.

“Why?” Roman asked, his voice cracking horribly, even in only one syllable.

“Because you’ve already paid me back more than enough just by staying and being friends with me.”

Usually, Roman would’ve made some kind of ‘are you that desperate for friends’ joke, but this was not a usual situation. “But I wasn’t your friend. I’ve been scared of you this whole time.”

Virgil’s face fell. “I’m sorry.”

Roma pounded his fist on the dresser. “You didn’t do anything!”

“Maybe not then, but I can now. Roman, would you want to be friends with me?”

“I don’t know.”

Virgil’s face fell again. “That’s alright. I can leave you alone.”

••^*^••

The next morning both Roman and Patton were gone. It was lonely, and far too quiet. Virgil almost wished he had never promised all he had the night before. But, since he promised, he didn’t look for them, and he didn’t knock on the walls. But he left the makeshift home they had made in the corner, just in case.

It was three days later when a voice called his name.

Virgil spun around to see Roman standing on the kitchen counter.

“I— if you’ll still have me, I think I would like to be friends with you.”

“Yes.” Virgil said, while his brain was still stunned.

Patton rushed out from a hiding place. “Yay! I knew you two could get along!”

••^*^••

Logan’s niece was having a birthday shortly. And if he was going to bother with a present he was going to get a good one.

Finally he saw it. Even just from the first picture the superior quality was evident. He clicked on the listing, and with every picture he was further convinced that the $800 asking price was an insult to the artist who had made the dollhouse. Some of the details on the walls must have been painted with the tiniest brush, and were painted in rooms small enough to barely allow for a hand to move, much less paint so accurately. He bought the dollhouse, and the clothes that came with it.

When it arrived, he couldn’t help but take a closer look. He didn’t care much for dolls, but this was simply incredible. He would be very curious about how it was done.

And then he saw something. He had to use a magnifying glass to see more clearly, but then he was sure. There were impossibly small fingerprints on the curtain rods.

Logan looked up the person who had sold the house.

Virgil Storm.

He would have to find a way to pay Virgil a visit.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

On Demand

This is for a request made by two readers who have chosen not to be tagged. I hope that you like it <3 Please let me know what you guys think in the reblogs/comments! 💜

Warnings: noncon sex (masturbation, voyeuristic elements, oral, intercourse). 

This is dark!Steve and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: The reader becomes a camgirl to ease her financial woes but money is soon the least of her problems.

Your stomach was doing somersaults. Your chest filled with fire. You couldn’t keep your leg from shaking as you waited for Megan. You glanced around her apartment enviously. She had upgraded in the last year. It was a mansion compared to your tiny city bachelor which was little better than a closet. She interrupted your covetous inner monologue as she entered in an ivory silk robe trimmed with black lace.

“Hey, sorry. Session went a bit long today,” Her cheeks were still flush as she swept around the couch. She dropped onto the cushion next to you, her arm draped over the back as she sat at an angle to face you. “But five hundred in an hour isn’t something to complain about.”

“Is it really that much?” You asked, your finger dancing along your throat nervously.

“On a good day. A bad day, I still make at least half that. You just gotta know how to keep them interested,” She chuckled. “These lonely men aren’t too hard to string along.”

You glanced away nervously and cleared your throat. This was more awkward than you expected. You were never this uptight around Megan. She usually brought out the freak in you. “Oh…” You leaned your chin in your hand. “They cut back my hours at work again.”

“Bastards,” She bent forward and turned on the cushion as she reached under the polished coffee table. She pulled out a joint and leaned back, “Want some?”

“You know I don’t do that,” You peeked over to watch her light up. “It makes me paranoid.”

“You? Paranoid? Ha,” She scoffed playfully before puffing deeply.

“Meg,” You said in a low tone, “Please.”

“So, you looking for another job?” She asked as the smoke seeped from her lips.

“I’m always looking for another job,” You grumbled, “But no one’s biting.”

She nodded and thought as she took another drag. Her eyes narrowed and she tilted her head. “Spit it out.”

“I...I dunno, I was thinking…” You clasped your hands together and shifted on the cushion, “How does all of it work?”

“Oh my god,” She sat forward sharply and tossed her lighter on the table, the joint disposed of in the square ashtray. “You’re kidding me, Y/N?”

“I’m just wondering,” You put your hands up defensively, “I’ve got rent in two weeks and my next check isn’t going to cut it. I’m kinda up shit’s creek here. I gotta consider my options.”

“Well, it’s quite simple. You set your own hours; you have control over everything. Money’s up front,” She snapped her fingers, “They pay before you even touch yourself just to see you. From there, they can give more as things progress but there’s a paywall to each tier; rubbing, fingering, toy play. The more they pay, the further they get.”

Your cheeks were burning. “Hmm,” You bit your lip as you thought, “I...I don’t think I could. I mean…” You sighed, “I still haven’t, you know…”

“I thought you and Jordan?” She lifted a brow.

“No, he was too pushy about it,” You leaned back and crossed your arms, “It’s kinda why things didn’t work out.”

“Well, you don’t need to be sexually active. You just need to know how to work with yourself,” She smirked, “And don’t tell me you don’t get lonely in your cloister.”

“Hey!” You laughed despite yourself. “Well,” You let out a deep breath, “I guess it would be worth a try?”

“Girl, it would be amazing,” She trilled, “You know, if you put in your description that your a virgin, you could ask for twice the standard rate. Hell, you’d have rent in a single session. Even two months’.”

You nodded and uncrossed your arms. You stretched out your fingers and examined the wrinkles along your knuckles. Three rejection emails this morning; they always decided to go with another candidate. Even if you did get something new in the next week, your first pay wouldn’t be in until after rent day. You gulped, accepting that one day you would look back on this dark time and laugh. Well, hopefully.

“Can you help me get set up?” You asked quietly.

“Babe, I gonna do more than that,” Megan flipped her long hair over her shoulder. “I’m gonna do your nails and we’re going to buy you some cute lingerie. Oooh, and I’ll show you how to contour...but, if we’re going for the pure look, the less, the better. And we’ll have to do something about your apartment.”

“Okay, okay,” You poked her shoulder, “One thing at a time. Let’s get the account started first and then I can embrace the crippling dread of what I’m about to do.”

-

This was it. A little less pathetic than your usual Saturday night. Your bed was draped in a pale pink comforter, the frilly pillows added to the facade. A tripod held the webcam aimed at the perky bed, your computer on a folding table nearby. Megan had covered the expenses of your new gig and you would repay her directly after with the money made from it. Well, if you made anything. You still weren’t sure this was going to work.

You stared in the mirror at yourself. A white baby doll hid little of your figure and you looked the dreamlike innocent. Well, that’s what you were, really. None of your boyfriends had gotten past using their mouths or even fingers. Often you stopped them from the latter as they were never very skilled and it was more uncomfortable that pleasing. You shook out your arms as you glanced at the time. Just do it. The sooner you began, the sooner you’d be done.

You climbed onto the bed, positioning yourself on your knees just as Megan had shown you. Of course she hadn’t given you a real show, merely a fully-clothed walk through. The test screen came on and reflected you perfectly. The mic showed that it was working and you took one last shuddered breath to brace yourself. You forced a smile and hit ‘start’.

You waited, preening yourself as Megan had demonstrated. One viewer popped up with a bloop. Then a second. Then ten! You began to rub your hands up and down your torso, pulling apart the baby doll for a peak of your stomach and the lace panties below. When it reached twenty, you began the real show. You wiggled out of your panties, turning to display your ass as you did. You sat back and spread your legs, vaguely following the little comments on the text feed and typing back here and there. A little post-it of suggested responses by Megan stuck to the frame of the screen.

Your nerves were rattling but you just pretended you were alone; that this was all for you. Not them. You thought of the money and your rent; even at the first paywall you had enough to cover what you didn’t have. As the next was approaching, a peculiar beep sounded and a private chat request popped up. You kept your fingers on your clit as you leaned over to read the attached message and green letters highlighting the offer.

‘Hey, baby girl, how about a private show?’ Viewer has offered $1000

Your lips fell open and your motion stuttered, your fingers slipping between your folds carelessly. Holy shit! It was a lot of money and well, it saved you from pleasuring yourself in front of all these viewers. Just one; that was easy. You looked to the counter in the session; already fifty. You accepted the offer and the screen went black; a message in the chat alerting all that you had gone private for the rest of the show.

A new screen popped up, similar to the first. You were there, looking back, legs splayed, your hand on your pussy. Another notification blipped requesting that the private viewer be allowed voice chat. You accepted again. The thousand dollars was already in your wallet and it would be a lot easier than typing and reading.

“Hello?” You called to the camera curiously.

“Hey, baby girl,” The deep voice was oddly alluring. Not the expected gristly voice of a middle-aged pervert. “Shall we continue?”

“Of course, honey,” You mimicked Megan’s example as best you could, “Do you like this?” You set to drawing circles around your clit again. An audible purr came from the speakers. You leaned back as the heat started to build. You hadn’t really expected to enjoy it. “Mmmm,” You let out a moan, louder than intended.

“Can you go inside, baby?” The viewer asked, and you hesitated. You fingered yourself sometimes but not often. You took a breath and coated your fingers in your arousal as you felt along to your entrance. “Are you really a virgin?” The question had your mouth agape. Your eyes widened as you weren’t quite ready to discuss that with a stranger. Even as you were about to fuck yourself for one. “You are,” He hummed contentedly.

“Y-yes,” You rasped out.

“You’re so precious, baby, how is that possible?” His voice was too much, it was driving you wild. He actually sounded attractive; it would be better if you clung to that fantasy.

“I...I’m saving it for someone special,” You lied. A rush ran through you at the words.

“Mm-hmm,” You could hear his smirk. You pushed your fingers inside and his sigh was audible. Your own was unintentional. It actually felt nice. You dropped your head back, almost forgetting that you were being watched as your palm brushed against your bud. “Yeah, baby, are you going to cum for me? Already?”

You whimpered and your thighs tingled. You fought to keep your legs apart as the rapture mounted. Your chest rose and fell as you felt the orgasm rising. You had thought it would be much harder than this. Hell, it usually took you a lot longer to cum. Something about his voice, about him watching, maybe even the money, had given you an unnatural high. You cried out as you reached the peak all so suddenly. Your legs shot out straight and you heard a grunt from your laptop. “That’s it, baby girl.”

As you stilled your hand, you shivered, you fingers still inside of you. “Can you take the rest off for me, baby girl?” You kinda liked the nickname, it helped you dissociate.

You slowly removed your hand, your fingers soaked. You sat up and nodded, speechless as the after waves shook you. You reached back and unclasped the babydoll and slid the straps down your shoulders. You tits fell free and you heard the man breathing heavily. You slipped out of the sheer lingerie and tossed it aside, once more on your knees as you tried to figure out what to do next.

“What kind of toys do you have, baby?” You blinked and stared down at the line of devices behind you. Megan had bought an array of beginner’s toy. Nothing too big. Mostly just vibes, some nipple clamps. You hadn’t wanted anything going inside of you really. You held up the small purple vibe. “That’s good, baby girl. I wanna see you cum again.”

You sat back on your ass and opened your legs, bending them to display your pussy to him. “Just like that, yeah.” He purred. You leaned back on one hand and clicked the vibe on. You reached down and pressed the buzzing toy to your overwrought clit. “You’ve got beautiful tits, baby.”

You giggled into a moan as the sensations began to radiate from your bud. Your feet arched as your muscles tightened. Sparks trickled along your flesh and you were panting once more. You barely noticed the other heavy breaths coming from the laptop. You could guess what the man was doing on the other end. What else would he do? You squeaked as you came, biting down on your lip as you pushed your head forward and held the vibe against yourself.

You fell back without thinking and rolled onto your side, the vibe still on and pressed to your clit. You could hear the groans from the speaker. “Such a nice ass,” He muttered, his voice curtailed by a sudden grunt and hiss. You didn’t need to see him to know he had cum, too. But it didn’t feel gross like you thought it would; it was intoxicating.

“Will you be mine, baby girl?” He asked after a airy silence; the two of you trapped in a rush of adrenaline.

“What?” You slowly pushed yourself up to face the camera.

“Just mine. Private shows only. Same rate as tonight.” His voice was smokey, “Gratuities every time you cum for me. “

“I...are you sure?” You crossed your legs in front of you. You weren’t exactly planning on do this again.

“A girl like you shouldn’t be shared,” He said. “So?”

“Um, okay,” You smiled, “I think I could do that…”

“Call me ‘Captain’, baby doll,” He offered in a dusky lilt.

“Captain,” You uttered with a pout, “Do you want more?”

-

You should just delete the app. Your phone hadn’t stopped for the last hour. You were with Megan enjoying a drink and a new life of financial stability but the cost was starting to wear on you. ‘Captain’ as he called himself, wouldn’t stop messaging you. It had been over a month since you had began this little online foray into scandal. It was exciting to be admired but as of late, it was growing quite irritating. Still, you couldn’t really complain as your savings account had grown exponentially.

At first, it was twice a week but now it was almost every other night. You were quite honestly exhausted. You had even fallen asleep on camera last night. And now he was nagging you like your mother during that trip you had taken to Spain in college. You silenced your phone and drained your cocktail as you smiled at Megan. You signaled to the waiter for a refill.

“So, how’s it going? Great?” She asked emphatically.

“Pretty good, I guess,” You shrugged, “You?”

“The usual. I made almost twenty-five hundred last night,” She giggled, “First time I’ve ever done anything anally.”

“Jesus,” You yelped, “Meg, you can’t just say shit like that.” The waiter set down another electric blue drink in front of you and you thanked him.

“Well, you know, it was kinda fun,” She grinned, “You making out okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” You ran your finger around the rim of your glass, “This one guy, he pays a thousand per private show but I don’t know if I can keep up.”

“Shit, Y/N, do we need to get you fucked?” She laughed, “I mean, maybe if you really loosened up--”

“Ugh, don’t,” You sipped from your cocktail. “It’s like every other night. I was late for work this morning.”

“Do you really need to keep working? A thousand per show, three times a week?” She sang, “Sound better than minimum wage at the electronics shop.”

“I don’t plan on this being my career,” You shook your head, “Get a nice nest egg going until I can find something better than retail.”

“The money, it can be addicting. Moreso the feeling,” She breathed, “It might just be creeps on the internet, but I’ve never felt more appreciated.”

“Hmm, yeah,” You picked up your phone and checked the endless queue of notifications. “Definitely feel needed.”

You swiped open your phone and opened the app. ‘Sorry, I’m just having some drinks with a friend. Can I message you later?’ You hoped the acknowledgement would placate him for the time being.

‘Okay, baby girl.’ The single message floated before you shortly before another popped up. ‘Later then.’

You tucked away your phone, content that you could enjoy your night. You took another drink and leaned your elbow on the table. 

“Well, maybe it is a bit addicting,” You joked as Megan was glued to her own phone. 

She laughed and showed you the dick pic she had just been sent. You covered her screen and you both fell into a fit of laughter. A girls’ night was a great relief from your new normal.

-

Another tedious day in retail. As none of your co-workers knew the meaning of work ethic, you were spending a whole hour of your shift re-organizing and pricing the headsets. It was simple enough work and gave you a reason to not be standing at your till doing nothing. You’re life had grown monotonous again as you had found the Captain mysteriously silent. The last session you had together had been a whole week ago. You hadn’t yet gone back for another public show.

Tearing your worries away from your extracurricular work, you finished re-arranging the hooks. You ran to print out new tags and returned to the section to find a customer staring at your newly tidied display.

“Did you need some help?” You asked the man. His blue eyes squinted as he looked along the hooks of nearly identical headsets. His dirty blonde hair and beard framed his chiseled face handsomely as he turned to glance at you. He didn’t resemble your typical gamer.

“Actually, I might just,” He smiled and you tried not to blanch. His voice sounded so familiar. Very familiar. “I don’t really know what I’m looking for. My buddy bought me one of these video game systems and he can’t hear me.”

“Well, when it comes to headsets, you get what you pay for.” You tried to hide your discomfort; your inner dialogue running wild. It couldn’t be. He said he lived in New York and you had only admitted to living up north. He couldn’t possibly be in the same city as you. Couldn’t possibly know where you worked. And besides, he didn’t seem to recognize you. “If you want something decent, you should start around the eighty dollar mark. I’d suggest Astro as a brand, but Turtle Beach is good enough if you’re just a beginner.”

He nodded and looked back to the headsets. You turned your attention to the price tags in your hand and began switching them out with the old ones. You glanced over as you felt an unusual warmth hovering over you and found the man watching you as you went about your work. 

“I can’t decide. Which one’s would you suggest?” Again, his voice was so terrifyingly familiar.

“Um,” You turned to the shelf and pulled of the basic Astro’s. They were your default choice for the clueless. “These one. If you don’t mind the price tag, it’s worth it.”

“Thanks,” He took them from you, his fingers brushing against you. “I’ll give them a try.”

He nodded and you clung to your customer service tone. You wished him a good day as he walked away and turned to finish up your task. It was just a coincidence. You were imagining things. Besides, you could barely remember exactly was the Captain’s voice sounded like.

-

Coincidentally, you had a message waiting from the Captain when you got out of work. As you changed into your street shoes you read the single line; ‘can I see you tonight?’ You replied with ‘sure’ a surge of relief washing over you. He was still just a faceless man thousands of miles away. You slipped on your jacket and hooked your purse over your shoulder. You were already getting excited.

Back at your apartment, you set up your bed for a show. You plain grey bedding replaced with the dainty pink sheets and frilly duvet. The tripod at the end of the bed, the light you had bought angled towards you to give a better view. You opened your laptop and typed a message to the Captain. ‘Hey, where are you?’ You stared at his icon, waiting for it to turn green, but it remained grey and lifeless. Your shoulders dropped and you sighed. Maybe something had come up.

You felt stupid in the new lingerie. The white corset, see-through bra and panties, thigh-high stocks and a pair of platform heels. A whole thirty minutes and you shut your laptop. You moved it aside and were about to start stripping the bed when a knock came at the door. Who the fuck? You grabbed the plain terry cloth robe slung over the back of the chair and covered yourself. You approached the door down the narrow hallway and unlocked it, opening it just a crack. 

You gasped and slammed it back shut as you saw the recognized the unexpected guest. You were too slow and weak to keep him from entering. It was the same man from the store. He swiftly pinned you against the opposite wall and kicked the door closed behind him, dropping a bag at his feet as he seized you. 

“Sorry I’m late,” He said in a low tone.

“It--it is you,” You gaped up at him, his hands firm on your shoulders. “How did you…?”

“Shhh,” He raised a hand to press a finger to your lips. “You’re still gonna put on a show for me, baby girl,” He licked his lips as he leaned in, “Rather with me. Same rate as usual.”

“Get out,” You shoved his hand away from your mouth, “You’re crazy. Get off of me! Go!”

“Baby girl, I thought you wanted some fun tonight,” He forced you away from the wall and pushed you towards the main room of you apartment. Your bedroom, living room, and kitchen conjoined in an affordable open concept. You heard the door lock before he followed behind you, his hand on your back as he guided you forward.

“Please, don’t do this,” You whined as you turned to face him, “I’ll give the money back...as much as I have left.”

“I don’t want the money,” He chuckled, “I want what you’ve been saving for me, baby girl.”

You gulped. His broad figure blocked the hallway as he crossed his arms. You glanced over to the folding table where your laptop sat and seized your cell phone from beside it. He was on you in a moment, easily ripping the device from your hand. He released you sharply and smashed it on the corner of the table, nearly tipping it. He tossed it across the room and huffed.

“Why don’t you do it, hmm? Try to get past me and see what happens.” He challenged as he pushed his shoulders back. “You think you’re fast enough?”

You stared at him as your teeth chattered. You hung your head in an act of submission but quickly dove around him. You couldn’t even get past him before he had his arm around your stomach, your legs kicking out desperately. His other hand went to the knot of your robe and easily untied it. He grabbed onto the robe as you struggled and tore it from your body as you stumbled to your knees.

“One more try, baby girl,” He teased and you stood, reaching for the door frame of the hall as you teetered in the platforms. He had you in an instant, lifting you off your feet as he pulled you back into the room. “You’re cute.” He praised, “Feisty.”

“Let me go!” You yelped as you clawed at his thick arms.

“Let you go? You’re mine, baby girl,” His hot breath glossed over your hair, “I paid for you, fair and square.”

He twisted and shoved you towards the bed. You stumbled onto it as you wobbled in your heels. As you righted yourself, you heard him walk back down the hall. He returned with the bag he had brought in with him. His bright eyes burned you as he watched you rise to your feet. 

“Sit,” He pointed to you, “Or I’ll make you.” You did as he said, the fear crawling up your spine. “Now, this can be easy or hard...and baby girl, I want you to enjoy your first time. You’ve waited so long.”

You dug your fingers into the duvet as you watched him set the bag down in the only chair. He unzipped it and pulled out a camcorder. He crossed to the tripod and removed your webcam, replacing it with his own camera. He clicked it on and you watched the light flash signaling that it was recording. He adjusted the angle and stepped back, looking over it to where you sat on the bed.

“We can start as usual,” He said, gesturing to the bed. “Go on. We gotta get you warmed up, baby doll.” You swallowed and stared at him. Then into the camera. You glanced to the door once more and you heard his sigh. “Y/N, really, let’s stop with the games?”

You turned back to him in shock. “How do you know my name?” Your voice cracked.

“I’ve seen so much of you, baby girl, a name hardly matters,” He smirked and moved the bag off the chair. He sat down and once more waved you over to the bed. “Go on. I like the little outfit but a body like yours doesn’t need any decoration.” You slowly brought your foot up on your knee and slipped out of the platform heel. You pulled the other off and stood, fingers under the top of your stocking. “Look at me, baby, come closer.” He flicked his fingers, “Smile for the camera.”

You bit down and set to rolling down your stockings one at a time. As you bent down, you heard a low growl. Your tits threatened to spill from your bra, though it offered little coverage as it was. You stood straight and slowly untied the laces of the corset until it went slack. You shimmied out of it, your vision blurred as you stared at the far wall. You couldn’t look at him. You just couldn’t. 

As you unclasped your bra, he hissed and you let the straps fall down your arms and the cups folded onto the floor. You hooked your thumbs in your panties and he tutted. “Turn around,” He urged, “Let me see that ass of yours.” You obeyed, your movement jagged, and slowly pushed the lace down your thighs. You bent until they were past your knees and they slid to your feet. You stepped out of them and spun back. “On the bed,” He ordered.

You sat back and slowly pushed yourself back on the bed until you were in the middle. He nodded, a simple but overt command. You knew what he wanted. And as much as the situation frightened you, you wanted it too. You were wet and wanting. You needed release if only to quell the suffocating wave of fear.

You laid back as you spread your legs. “I wanna see your face, baby doll,” He warned and you cursed silently. You sat back up, bending your legs as you leaned on one arm. You slowly slid your hand down your stomach and hovered over your pussy. You pushed your fingers down, grazing your clit as you delved between your folds. You trembled at the sensation. How were you so wet?

You began to rub yourself, biting down on your tongue as you held your breath. Even so you couldn’t hold back the rush of nerves. The stirring of the tide as it wrapped you up. Your back arched as you exhaled, unable to hold back as your heart raced. You could almost forget that you weren’t alone. You whined as your body got the best of you and you came. Your head lolled back and you gasped, rubbing yourself through your climax.

You fell back as you panted heavily. You could hear him moving but he was upon you before you could react. The bed shifted as his hands ran the length of your legs. He gripped your thighs and you felt his nose tickle along your pelvis. You lifted your head as he nuzzled you, your hands fluttering down as you tried to wave him away. He easily ignored you as his hot breath crept lower. You squeak as his lips brushed your pussy.

“It’s okay, baby doll,” His blue eyes flashed up to your face, “Just relax.”

He bent his head and his tongue flicked over your clit. You mewled and arched into him. You couldn’t help it. You could barely thinking as your overly sensitive bud thrummed. As his tongue went deeper your voice caught in your throat. He pushed your legs apart as he dove into you, lulling your body with only his mouth. It wasn’t long before you entire being was spasming as an orgasm rattled you.

He slowly raised himself up, sitting back on his knees as he pressed his fingers along your pussy. You bucked in surprise, still recovering from the surge of pleasure. He poked around your entrance and slowly pushed a finger inside. You felt your walls contract around him and he shoved another finger in. You moaned in a mixture of pain and bliss. 

“Oh, you really are a virgin, baby girl.” You closed your eyes in shame as he felt around, “Your so tight.”

He removed his hand and licked your juices from his fingers as he stood. He began to undress as you laid prone before him. Your head fell to the side and you stared at the door. Even if you could leave, you weren’t sure you had the strength left in you. Completely naked, he approached the bed and turned your body. You offered no resistance as he moved you, retreating to the camera to check the angle. You were shaking; in ecstasy and fear. This was it. It was going to be taken from you and there was nothing you could do.

You watched him approach. His cock was huge. The most you had ever done was a blow job and you weren’t even sure you could get him in your mouth. You pushed yourself up on your elbows as he climbed up on the side of the bed, parting your legs to get in between. You were suddenly frantic, the adrenaline filling you with a second wind. He caught your legs behind the knees and pulled you closer.

He draped your thighs on top of his as he bent his legs beneath himself. You tried to pull away but he kept you in place. He held your hip with one hand and his other went to your pussy. He played with you again, dipping his finger inside once more. You squirmed, reaching out to the duvet above your head. There was nothing there to save you.

“Shhh, baby doll, it’s okay,” He continued to explore your walls, “We’ll go slow.”

He pulled out his finger and ran his fingers along your pussy. He grabbed his cock and spread your juices along his length. He pressed his tip to your folds and rubbed it back and forth, from clit to your entrance. He lined himself up at last and shifted a little closer. You brought your hands up to shove him away, his torso a wall of muscle. 

“Please, I’m not ready.”

“You feel ready to me,” He purred and you felt his head stretching you as he pressed inside slowly.

You hissed and he went deeper, a little at a time. He pulled your body to him as he pushed further, your pelvis tilted as he entered you. Your nails dug into his abs and tears filled your eyes as you felt him reach the thin barrier. You took a breath and he sighed as you felt it break. You let out a withdrawn whimper and he continued on without pause. You sniffed as he stretched you painfully, reaching his limit as he forced himself inside.

He stayed at his hilt and bent over you, placing a breathy kiss on your lips. “Baby girl, it’s okay,” He whispered, “You’re doing so good.” He pressed his pelvis to you, “You’re taking all of me. You feel that. You’re made for me.”

You were shaking, the tears streaming down your temples. He pulled back and you exhaled at the relief but he pushed back in and you gasped. He kept his thrusts careful at first, easing himself in and out as you whimpered beneath him. He sat back and gazed down at you as your face and body contorted against him. The more his cock filled you, the better it felt, the agony fading to fervor.

“That’s it,” He sped up just a touch, his thumb pressing down on your clit as his hand stretched over your pelvis. “Is that better, baby girl?”

You pressed your thighs around him as he rocked into you. Your eyes rolled back as a shock flowed up your spine. You bit your lip as you tried to resist it. You could barely feel the pain anymore as fire licked at your flesh. “M-m-m…” You stuttered, your hands kneading mindlessly at your chest, “M-more.”

You were surprised by the very word but it had risen so naturally. He groaned deliciously and his motion picked up. He plunged into you without restraint. You were like a ragdoll, your body at his mercy. His thumb sent chills through you as he kept rubbing your bud, an orgasm melding into the endless euphoria. The noises escaping you were inhuman; rabid.

“Ah, baby doll, you’re so good,” He breathed.

His thrusts grew even more rapacious as he hammered into you. You clenched your jaw as you dared to glance down at him. The sight of his cock entering you had you once more crying out in delight. Another orgasm took hold of you. Not even the hint of blood along his pelvis could deter you.

He bent forward once more and slid his arms under you, drawing you up so that your chest was against his. He moved your body up and down his cock. His blue eyes found yours and you couldn’t look away. His irises were on fire as he grunted. You hugged him with your legs, clinging to his shoulders as you came again. You were starting to lose count.

“I’m going to cum, baby girl,” He mumbled through his excess, “I can’t--”

He threw his head back and you felt a spurt of warmth within you. He let his head hang back for a moment before he looked to you and slowly lowered you to the bed. He stayed inside of you, looking down at your vulnerable body. His hand glided over your skin, leaving goosebumps in their stead.

“Don’t worry, baby doll,” He cupped your breasts and bowed his head between them, “We’ve got all night.”