#or boston. probably more likely

[transgenderfabianseacaster]

tHEY SHOULD LET ME SEE A D20 LIVE SHOW ID BE SOOOOO NORMAL ABOUT IT I PROMMYYYYYYY

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[5bi5]

Tumblr girlies do YOU want a show that has more than 12 episodes a season? That won't get cancelled next year? That has beautiful talented queer women? That you can overanalyze to your heart's content? That will make you laugh, cry, and tear your hair out? That's problematic in many ways but still worth watching and loving? That has decades of lore and history? That has symbols and motifs and imagery and sometimes even live organ music? Then perhaps what you want isn't a fictional show at all but the violent sport of hockey.

[edmunderson]

BLACK: I feel like... I joined EVO too hastily. I wanted to actually do something with my life. But I feel like destruction follows me everywhere I go.

BLACK: I don't know why I thought this time would be different. I don't know why I thought... I could help anyone at all. People get made different. I'm not some fucking hero.

BOSTON: You've helped me...

BLACK: That... that comes naturally to me, at least.

Reanimated Heart

[crow-talks-hockey]

oh and have i mentioned how much i despise the "homer" haters especially in this league? like. that's their fucking team they're announcing for. of course there is going to be bias because fun fucking fact they want things to right for their team. and it's a localized/team-based broadcast. there is going to be bias. obviously sometimes there's disagreement with some calls they make versus reality but it's just so annoying to me to relentlessly bash on YOUR teams HOME announcers. it makes me nuts. you can't just hate on "homer" announcers and then turn around and miss them when it's national broadcast because NATIONAL BROADCASTS SUCK AND THEYRE BIASED WHEN THEYRE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE. HOME ANNOUNCERS ARE ALLOWED TO BE BIASED TOWARDS THEIR TEAM. USE YOUR BRAIN

[whydoidothistomyselfandothers]

okay I just need to get something off my chest. I'm a member of the lgbt+ community, and some of the discussions I've seen online about Boston have really rubbed me the wrong way tbh. like, countless people seem to imply that he's a terrible person because he's promiscuous?? there's nothing wrong with sleeping around! it's not inherently immoral! I know that in this circumstance a lot of people are saying it jokingly, but I've heard a lot of people irl - both outside of the community and within it - be really crappy and rude about m|m being promiscuous, like really looking down on them for it as if it's some sort of failing on their part. and it's not! again, in Only Friends I know there's more to it, and there's cheating and hurt feelings and whatnot involved, but Boston has not committed to a monogamous relationship with anyone and he is not morally in the wrong for simply sleeping with people. it's his body and that's his perogative! so, idk it'd just be nice if we could tone it down on the whole "Boston sleeping around makes him a terrible person" thing ig

[thewomaninlilywhite]

I'm never traveling Amtrak again

[unnonexistence]

inspiration on that new silly one-shot fic ran out but luckily writing is still Going

[emperorsfortune]

here's what i accomplished this year

took the train by myself for the first time (also went into the city by myself for the first time)

went to AB for the first time since 2019

started a new game series

that's all i got

[djeterg19]

I just really need to know why Boston hates Mew so much

[maddiemuu]

sometimes i like to make up little background details abt fae + bernadette's world for fun. one is that their twitter equivalent (tweeter) had a much shorter lifespan than irl twitter bc hq was destroyed in a freak accident inadvertently orchestrated by the ceo through a series of increasingly bizarre and poorly conceptualized business decisions

[ankellysaurus]

Speaking of christian scientists, when we were in high school one of my sisters dated a christian scientist. If you are unaware christian scientists believe that injury or illness are best treated with prayer rather than medicine. ANYWAY this boy she was dating and his brother were good athletes and on the school soccer team. So one day she invited the bf to come over and have dinner with our family and he said something like "Sorry I can't come I have to stay home we're praying over my brother's toe." After said brother broke his toe playing soccer. Like boy, go to the doctor. Anyway it was the funniest thing my 17 year old self ever heard.

[redrattlers]

feeling so emotional after the most fun wonderful and healing weekend 🥹

[rashfcrd]

does top have anyone he can even trust or just be friends with

[screambirdscreaming]

I would hesitate to assume concrete in a structural column is a facade. The point of reinforced concrete is that the steel and concrete work together in a way that makes both stronger: concrete is excellent at carrying compressive load but fails quickly under tension (you might think a column would be fine - but if the load is not perfectly balanced and vertical, there's a bending component, which causes tension in part of the column.) Steel is equally strong in tension and compression, but is prone to deforming out of shape, which makes it unable to continue supporting the load. In reinforced concrete, the steel rebar carries the tension load, while the concrete keeps the steel held in place.

However: concrete cracks. It's brittle, this is pretty unavoidable. To a certain extent, concrete cracking is normal and fine - as long as it stays put. But if the crack starts to open, you've got problems. First of all: if chunks fall off, you've lost structural material, which means you've lost strength. Second of all, if it's not holding the steel in place, you've lost strength. And third of all, cracks can let water in to corrode the steel. (Weird fact: concrete also protects steel from corrosion, somewhat, by being very alkaline. This only gets you so far, though, especially by the ocean - saltwater is crazy corrosive, even as airborne spray.)

With this in mind, the steel straps around the column are more effective than they might seem: they keep the concrete held in place, which keeps the steel held in place, which retains structural function. As a temporary fix, it's pretty good! The fact that it's been painted over like it's a permanent solution, however...... I don't like that....

For one thing, there's the question of how it cracked like that in the first place. At first glance, it looks like the crack runs vertically near one edge of the column, which is weird. But on closer look, there's diagonal cracks starting farther in on the column. Now: bear in mind i am not a structural engineer. But it looks to my inexpert eye that those cracks are consistent with a bending load on the column. If the load was purely horizontal, you'd expect cracks at 45 degrees. But the column is also under compression, which pushes the failure angle steeper. I would guess that the diagonal cracks run out to the edge of the rebar cage, and then run together vertically where the reinforcing steel ends.

That would suggest that the load being transferred to the column is much more on one side than the other, and not in a way that it's designed for. What's up with that? Was it a one-time thing or is it ongoing? Is the steel strap repair enough to handle it?

On the whole I'd say this doesn't look like it's in immediate danger of collapse. But it sure doesn't inspire confidence either.

As I gaze at the structural column in Copley Station, cracked nearly in two and held together with zip ties that have been carefully painted over to match the column underneath, I feel my soul intertwined with that of a small Italian boy of days gone by, who also stopped to look up at a large, groaning, newly painted tank full of molasses

[brittleskyblue]

Somehow, I am once again stuck in the trenches of a thing I started writing and then got out of control and now I'm almost 10k words deep in.

On the other hand, I have this fun bit:

He was actually glad that Dewdrop wasn’t here right now if this is how Swiss was reacting. In fairness, Aether was pissed about this information too, but he also knew if Dewdrop had been here and heard about this he’d already be running off to commit an arson.