#or bastard man
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what would marie and gabriel do if u turned into a worm?
Marie would set up a little terrarium for me. She'd talk to me and feed me, until Gabriel finds out who he needs to fight to turn me back. Of course Gabriel would talk to me too, but it's mostly him being dramatic about the whole situation.
Unless he turned me into a vampire, and I messed up shapeshifting. Then that's a whole other situation, because he'd probably laugh at me for that, lol.
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going to chb must be crazy like imagine sharing a camp with
-one of the strongest demigods ever who's saved the world like at least 3 times, fought multiple gods & titans and WON (and is a tartarus survivor)
-the literal main architect of OLYMPUS who's also saved the world multiple times (also tartarus survivor)
-THE lord of the wild who's also close friends with the first two (and has helped save the world multiple times)
-an emo kid from the 1930s who again helped save the world and is also a tartarus survivor (TWICE)
-a son of apollo who survived tartarus with nothing but cargo shorts and sheer will (pun intended)
-the main designer and builder for the argo II, also the first hephaestus kid to have fire powers since hundreds of years ago (did i mention killed gaea? no? yeah he did that too)
-a girl who somehow charmspeak-ed gaea into falling back asleep (also side note daughter of super famous actor because why not)
-pretty much everybody is a two-time war veteran
-THE GOD APOLLO who just sometimes comes down to visit in the form of a teenage boy
-did i mention dionysus, god of wine madness and theatre
-also chiron, trainer of pretty much every greek hero ever
#shit's crazy#theyre basically living history#percy is kinda the new hercules except less macho manly man#'oh who's killed this guy before' 'percy jackson'#like can you imagine playing capture the flag with rhese bastards#ur scaling the wall and you see these mfs make it up there in like 2 jumps#they arent allowed to be in the same team for any of the games because you KNOW theyd beat everyone else's asses#people are fighting to have percy on their team#not to mention the gods that just pop in for a visit every now and then#like at this point the fact that DIONYSUS is their camp counselor isnr even that surprising anymore#some scrawny teen dude shows up and will's just 'oh hey dad'#'YOU MEAN APOLLO????' 'yeah lol he just visits sometimes'#pretty much everyone there has survived at least one war#the background characters must feel hella overshadowed bcs what does it matter if u won a game when the guy in the cabin across has like#saved the world. 3 different times. like wtf#pjo books#leo valdez#trials of apollo#lester papadopoulos#pjo fandom#percy jackson#grover underwood#nico di angelo#annabeth chase#pjo hoo toa#heroes of olympus#piper mclean#chiron#camp half blood#pjo text post
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dev patel really said "i support trans ppls rights....... trans ppls rights to kill bigots with guns and metal pipes and chairs and cool knives'' anyway watch monkey man
#dev patel#monkey man#fuckin stellar movie a+ would recommend#dev patel is not trans but almost every other member of his murder crew is#they kill those bastards John Wick style#monkey man (2024)#theo.txt
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i wanted to show them the stars.
#fanart#draws#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#thisisnotawebsitedotcom#gfalls#illustration#digital art#watercolor#me: oh man art fight is over i'm probably going to lose my art motivation now :/#the triangle bastard bursting into my room at mach speed:#also translation for the ciphers in the bg are as follows:#repeating ones that fade out are just ''why did you do it'' over and over to ref the video of him w scalene and euclid on the website#and the verse next to him reads ''oh little billy / what have you done / mama's little boy / you've flown too close / to the sun''#can you tell i feel insane about the new lore
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A redraw of an old Tim piece, because this song always hits me in the TMA feels
#the magnus archives fanart#the magnus archives#the magnus institute#TMA#tma tim#tim stoker#tim stoker fanart#THEY’RE GONNA EX-CE-CUTE THE MOTHER#TO ELEVATE THE MANNN#by man i mean local rat bastard Elias Bouchard
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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Prodigal son beyond Time - part 2
Part 1 | Masterpost
Damian first met his great uncle Danyal when he is three years old. His mother says he's met him long ago, when he was but a babe with a memory too fuzzy to remember. But the man before him is his grandfather's favorite child. The son that scowls at his father as he cradled Damian in his arms.
"What have you done?" His uncle scowled, a gentle hand pressed against the back of Damian's head. "He's a child!"
"Danyal!"
"You weren't like this with me." Danyal spat, keeping Damian in his arms and pressing his lips towards his nephew's forehead. Damian notes how cold his uncle's skin felt like, but more welcoming than that of his grandfather's.
"Danyal, he is to be trained like a proper Al Ghul." Grandfather said, frowning at Danyal.
"You trained me like a proper Al Ghul when I was older than him!" Danyal immediately protested, "He's three!"
"Danyal—"
"Ukht, I understand that you wish the best for your son but this is not it." Danyal immediately said, looking apologetic for interrupting Talia, but went back to glaring at Ra's. "I've tried to tolerate the fact that you handle an assassin league, father but this? You taught me to be loyal to the family. You taught me to cherish the family, you're blood—why the fuck aren't you giving the others the same treatment you gave me?!"
"Because they are not you!"
Damian doesn't recall what truly happened that day, but he does remember how his uncle's eyes went from soft blues to the same shade that the Lazarus pits glowed.
Damian remembers everything going dark.
Damian grows up differently.
He continues on his training, but everything is kinder to him. The world is kinder when his uncle is home, having tea with grandfather and overseeing his training. Mother loves him and uncle Danyal the most, claiming that they are blessings to her life.
Grandfather is quieter nowadays, almost docile with his uncle around.
It's a little more peaceful. The assassin's continue to train, to fight. But their reign of terror fall upon those that are corrupt and destroying the world. It's one of the compromises uncle Danyal and grandfather have led too.
Damian grows up differently.
Damian's arrival to the Bats' lives was unprecedented and quite confusing. He was a child raised by assassins, a child raised to become the next leader of the league. But he was... Strange. Strange for that kind of standard.
Damian was rather sociable, hostile but not downright murderous towards them.
His uncle did make sure that he had friends in the league.
Ra's had been utterly ecstatic to find out that he had two more grandchildren while Talia was quite pleased to know that she had a niece and nephew.
Damian had a pair of strange cousins who snuck him out of training to go watch the stars, often getting them scolded, but it was worth it. Dante was older than Damian by five years. He was what other would call an angsty teen with how he often rebelled against his father. Meanwhile, Janelle—preferebly Ellie—was only a year older than Damian himself. She was a mischievous person who made sure that everything around her was swallowed by her own chaos. So when he entered the manor, suddenly struck with the reality that he had multiple siblings instead of just one elder brother, Damian knew what to do.
Murder was not the answer.
But by the words of his gracious uncle and the wisdom of his excellent cousins: fight your siblings like a feral child but defend them by being even worse to others.
So Damian's first act as Dick Grayson's younger brother was to bite him.
The undead were restless, rising from their graves or haunting their own corpses. It wasn't something they usually dealt with, forced to call upon magicians.
But even Constantine was bewildered by just how cursed Gotham's lands were. To bring back the dead. Jason was a miracle but this was like an abomination, a literal zombie.
No one really knew how to properly deal with the dead...
Well...
"My uncle would be willing to provide his assistance in this matter." Damian piped up, examining the contained zombies from a safe distance. All eyes were quickly drawn to him, bewildered and questioning.
"I hardly think that Dusan would be suitable for this." Bruce sighed.
Damian scowled, "Not him. My grandfather's first-born is whom I speak off. He is knowledgeable in the occult arts of the dead."
"Damian... Ra's Al Ghul only has one son."
"Untrue. Grandfather's greatest pride was always my uncle. He is precious to grandfather and ensures that no one knows much off him. I expected you and Drake to be aware of the first born."
Tim stiffened, "They weren't rumours?! Ra's actually has some cryptid son?"
Bruce, who had heard of the old tales of the Demon head's beloved heir, had always thought they were stories to scare the assassins. He's never seen the man, nor has he found any evidence of him in the league.
Jason finally started paying attention, "So the league's golden boy can help? Dami, I don't think Al Ghul will even let his favorite kid anywhere near us."
"You underestimate my uncle's love for me."
"You met him?" Bruce quickly interjected.
Jason shrugged, "He helped me out back then. Patched me up when the pit madness got worse and helped me manage it. But his face was usually covered and no one really knew his name."
"Aside from myself, grandfather, and my mother."
Bruce frowned, "Nyssa and Dusan don't know their brother's name?"
"Grandfather says that they do not have the privilege of knowing his name. Mother was the first of his other children to have met my uncle."
"And what about you? You won't give us his name?"
Damian scowled, feeling rather displeased with his father's choice of words. "Names are powerful, father. My uncle taught me this when I was young."
Constantine narrowed his eyes, "You're uncle some kind of fae, kid?"
"Watch your mouth, hellblazer. He does not like you." Damian hissed, having heard all his uncle's rants about the Laughing Magician, especially whenever he'd just randomly pick up Talia and walk around Nanda Parbat like she was a kitten rather than a deadly assassin. "But I shall call upon my great uncle and ask him for assistance. This matter with the undead shall surely pique his interest."
"Tell the old man I said hi!" Jason cheerfully added, sounding quite pleased to hear about the mysterious uncle.
"No." Damian blatantly denied. As much as he loves Todd (and he will never admit that), he was not going to let anyone threaten his status as his uncle's favorite child. Over his dead body.
Damian was quick to walk away from all of them, quickly retrieving all the materials he'd need to summon his uncle. Dark green paint for the summing circle, five candles, and an astrology book.
"Bats... Why the hell is your son performing a summoning ritual? For a ghost of the realms too." Constantine's tone was strained, clearly disturbed and wary of Damian's actions.
"Damian." Bruce warned but Damian just waved him off. He watched as Jason started lighting up the candles, humming an unfamiliar tune.
"D'you think the old man will help us?"
"Of course! Uncle adores me."
"You think he'll give me his name?"
"I will gut you, Todd." Damian immediately responded with the most nonchalant tone he could ever give.
Jason shrugged, before taking a step back.
"Damian! Whatever you're summoning—"
"I'm summoning my uncle, father. He's the best person to go to with these issues." Damian insisted, before muttering something unintelligible under his breath.
Bruce was startled when Constantine grabbed him, eyes wide and rapidly turning pale. "Why the hell does your son know how to speak the language of the—"
Fire burst forth from the circle, slowly morphing into an icy blast.
"Dead." Constantine's breath hitched, "Holy shit, your brat just summoned the ghost king."
Bruce grabbed Damian the moment a hand emerged from the blast of cold. He shoved his on behind him, suddenly feeling frightened as his entire body felt goosebumps. Fuck. Did Damian really just perform a summoning ritual for such a powerful being? He never expected for Ra's to brainwash his son into believing that such a powerful thing—
"Nephew!"
Bruce blinked, suddenly blinded by the light.
"Uncle!" Damian escaped from his grasp, rushing into the circle. Constantine practically screamed once Damian ran into the arms of what was supposedly his uncle and the ghost king.
In front of Bruce was the most gorgeous man he's ever met.
The floating hair that reminded him of snow and the green eyes that were purer than the Lazarus pits. He couldn't help but swallow thickly, blinking. Damian was held up by the ghost king, allowing the boy to nuzzle into the crook of his neck.
"Hello, dami (my blood)." The king cooed, his pronunciation of the nickname much different from the shortened version of Damian's name. "I was not expecting you to call me. What's happened, my dear?"
Damian hummed, but before he could speak, he was immediately interrupted.
"Long time no see, old man!" Jason yelled, waving his arm as if he wasn't in the same room as the king.
"Jason! Hello! How are you? The corrupted ecto hasn't returned, has it? If it has, just tell me. I'll schedule a check up with Frostbite." The king quickly fussed, not minding the way Damian was baring his teeth at Jason. "Damian, behave!"
Damian just seemed to whine, refusing to behave and opting to pestering the king.
"I'm good, uncle. Haven't gone out crazy since you took me to the doctor." Jason smiled, already ripping of his domino mask to show that his eyes were green tinged with blue, not glowing green like the pits.
"Good, good. But I really must know why I've been called." The king softly said, directing his words to Damian who was already trying to wriggle our his grasp. Gently, the king settled Damian back on his feet.
"Right. Uncle, my father, Batman. Father, this is my uncle." Damian introduced, his tone hurried and a bit hesitant.
The king, Damian's uncle, smiled at Bruce. "Hello there, Mr. Wayne. I've wanted to meet you for a long time." The king hummed, "My name's Danny, but the Al Ghuls call me Danyal."
"Uncle!"
"Hush, hush, Damian. I can give my name to anyone I want. I don't suppose that your father is worthy of it."
Bruce really should be more concerned about the fact that the king knew his name.
"But what of the others?"
"Little one, I sent Nyssa and Dusan letters ages ago. But rest assured, dearest Talia is still the first to earn it." Danny—Danyal—the ghost king softly spoke and patted Damian's head. "And... Oh, it's you."
"Your majesty!" Constantine enthusiastically greeted while Danny scowled.
"Tax evading bastard." Danny huffed, shaking his head before promptly ignoring the tax evading bastard in question.
"Damian."
"The dead are rising."
Danny blinked, blinked again, before he groaned and shook his head.
"Okay, sorry. That seemed to be caused by an error on my side. Some prisoners of my realms started a riot and some of them managed to break out. Some have most likely decided to overshadow their old bodies." Danny sighed, "I'll have this taken care of. Apologies for the inconveniences."
"These... Zombies have been wrecking havoc across my city." Bruce frowned, "They've been harming people."
"Vengeful spirits do that. They're criminals meant to be in prison. It's rare for breakouts to happen, in all honesty." Danny paused, just long enough to run his fingers through Damian's hair. "But if you wish to take charge, by all means. These are corpses being possessed by their own spirits and... Well... They're out of their minds. Not really considered revenants since the possession isn't quite permanent."
"Alright, Bats. We've gotta make a proper deal here. His Majesty was summoned so we've gotta offer him something—"
"That's not necessary." Danny immediately waved Constantine away, evident displeasure from the man. "The sigil I gave Damian was just to call me to him. No need for an exchange."
"Seriously?" Constantine blurted out.
Danny just shrugged, "He's family. And my favorite nephew."
Damian smirked, absolutely smug. "I am your only nephew, uncle."
"Mm... Jason's also my nephew." Danny chuckled softly, easily stepping out of the circle and removing it from the floor—leaving not a single stain. "Now... Shall we deal with the dead?"
Bruce Wayne has made many bad decisions in his life, especially when it came to his relationships. Damian's ghost king of an uncle might be one of them.
Masterpost
#Prodigal son beyond Time#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#batfam#jason todd#batman#crossover#damian wayne#bruce wayne#Damian's favorite parental figure is his amazing uncle#this boy was raised as best as Danny could#Danny went feral after that but cause this boy knew what being compared felt like and hated it#he loves his family even if they're kinda fucked uo#Ra's is a little nicer here cause he genuinely loves Danny like a son#Bruce: This man is not good for me and I know it#Danny Phantom who's cradling his son like it was him who gave birth to Damian#Bruce: But I am fucking blind HELLO SAILOR#Tim's time in the league resulted in hin hearing about the eldritch horror that was Ra's son and supoosed heir apparent#he thought it was all stories#Jason likes his eldritch uncle the most cause he made the pit madness go bye-bye#constatine is a tax evading bastard and Danny has heard enough complains about him to hate the guy himself
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Korkie is Obi-Wan's bastard pass it on
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*raises glass* Happy 6 years of killing my favourite character
#ted spankoffski#hatchetfield#hatchetverse#the guy who didn't like musicals#black friday#nightmare time#time bastard#the homeless man#daddy nmt#nerdy prudes must die#starkid#joey richter#deli.chats
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Tommy 'smooth af' Kinard
#911#911edit#911 spoilers#911 abc#tommy kinard#evan buckley#bucktommy#buck x tommy#oliver stark#lou ferrigno jr#buck is so much stronger than me#personally i would've dropped to my knees so fast i'd shatter both kneecaps if this man spoke to me like that#look at that little smile...cheeky bastard#my stuff
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when i say they could never make me hate you batman i mean it so seriously like they could really truly never make me even slightly hate you batman. except for that one time you were mean to stephanie brown. and that other time you were mean to stephanie brown. also that time you were mean to stephanie brown. you know what i remember another time where you
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DPxDC Changeling AU pt.2
This idea got me in a chokehold, so I'm here to add more.
I'm sticking with the 'Talia outplayed the fae in order to acquire 2for1 deal of babies' for this one and probably for any later continuations.
Damian knows his brother is not human. He knew it from the very beginning since no one bothered to hide the fact. Yet Danyal grows up just like any other human baby, acting like a child he is supposed to be. He trains by Damian's side, he eats just like everyone else, he likes the stories and lessons their Mother teaches them both.
But Damian knows. His brother is no human. He sees it in the way Danyal tilts his head like a curious bird, in his swift, flowing movements that remind him of snakes, in his eyes that reflect the moonlight in a way cat's eyes do. He knows it by how some of the assassins lose their names to his brother and how Danyal never lies but also never tells the truth.
More than that, he sees it in the way Danyal smiles. Others would call that smile a mischievous one, but Damian sees no mischief in there.
He sees amusement.
And it drives him up the wall.
So he trains. He works harder than ever to prove himself better. He is worth not just simple amusement, he is the Heir, the Son of the Bat, he demands respect, even from his brother. Danyal will never take his place - not that he even could, Grandfather would never allow an unpredictable being to become the next Demon Head.
And he learns, from his Mother and from the old books, and sometimes from Danyal himself. He learns of customs and rules, of names and wordings, of odds and debts, and of tricks and riddles.
Damian has his own pride, and he wants to show it to his brother. To see the amused smile fade from his face, to make Danyal understand he is not just a weak mortal who's been simply allowed to exist beside his brother.
He wants to defeat Danyal.
And one day, he does.
Danyal is on the floor, and there's no smile on his face. Instead, in his eyes he sees the calm tranquility of a lake, frozen to the bottom, as he looks at Damian. And Damian? Damian grins, victorious at last.
Yet it is only after Danyal stands up and leaves a soft, cold and barely noticeable kiss to his forehead before disappearing in the shadows, that Damian realises:
His brother never asked to have his name.
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#danny phantom#dpxdc#dc x dp#damian wayne#damian al ghul#danyal al ghul#fae#changelings#twins au#fae au#i'm in love with this au#btw danny did steal a lot of names in loa#he tried to steal ra's but the man never gave him the actual name#the tricky bastard#after this danny just leaves#no one can find him#he is a fae#you cant find him if he doesnt want to#cork prompts
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been playing a lotta Marvel Rivals recently
#marvel rivals#loki laufeyson#squirrel girl#comics#comic art#marvel rivals fanart#yeah yeah evil bastard man#but wait till you see my MVPs#then we'll see who the real dps is
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I feel like both Clark and Diana talk abt Bruce like he's a skrunkly wet cat. However, they show their affection for their bestie very differently:
Diana, holding Bruce up by his cape: stinky stinky bastard man >:)
Clark: Noooooo! D! Don't be meannn! He's not stinky 🥺
Bruce, wondering what the fuck is happening: ...
#dc#dc comics#dc trinity#superwonderbat#mayhaps?#batman#bruce wayne#wonder woman#diana prince#superman#clark kent#ah yes#superman and wonder woman and their hissy black cat goth gf#he truly is a bastard man though
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she's going to steal christmas
#tadc ragatha#tadc caine#tadc bubble#tadc influence au#>>MISC;#>>DOODLES;#t.i's so funny it's like Man where did you get all of this ego from dear ragdoll why are you so full of smug and bastardness
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My eyes are blurry for reading but if I squint I can draw, let's draw until I pass out
#deadlock#ratchet#tf mecha universe#GRUMPY OLD MAN AND BASTARD#AHGSHAGA I've been watching transformers animated today and... uh....#I'm honestly annoyed at kids there...#One thing when kids are cool depicted in such shows. Others when they are annoying#I NEED AN OLD MAN HANGING OUT WITH MECHA#cockroachdoodles
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