#or at least has enough canon material to fit

[randomnameless]

Thinking a bit more about Carol the Imperial General who wonders why the Church isn’t helping Adrestia like it oughts to -

I find it funny how Carol notes :

A thousand years ago, Saint Seiros appeared in Enbarr and guided the founding of Adrestia. She also built Garreg Mach, though in the end she left the Empire entirely

Per Carol’s recollection, Seiros popped up in Enbarr, helped create Adrestia, built Garreg Mach and then completely left the Empire.

Bar the blatant Willy erasure - which might be deliberate, we’re shifting the blame and role on the CoS here, not on the Imperial line, thus no mention of Wilhelm’s line having to “protect the people of Adrestia”, nah, that stupid stuff is just something Seiros and her Church should do, else some people might wonder why Wilhelm’s descendant dgaf about her people’s lives - to Carol and some Imperial Nobles, the timeline goes WoH -> Garreg Mach -> end of Seiros in Adrestia?

Or did she left Adrestia at the same time Wilhelm did, after Lycaon’s death?

Like 

98 : Lycaon kicks the bucket - the War of Heroes ends

Wilhelm leaves Adrestia, he and Seiros travel to Indech’s hamlet to return Cichol’s shield.

Around the same time (or shortly after?) Seiros starts to build GM, which is rumoured, by a NPC, to have taken around 100 years to build with magic, meaning Rhea roughly started around that time.

Are we supposed to guess that after Lycaon’s death, both Wilhelm and Rhea left Adrestia - Wilhelm left Adrestia to its own devices, and Rhea started her rez Sothis plan - when she could have done so for the last 7 years.

I know it’s just an AU and all, but given how Lycaon’s death meant the end of the War, thus for Rhea, the end of her hunt for the Elites (Momo escaped!) and the start of the rez Sothis plan, idk what he was to her, but his death was “important” enough to make her stop “avenging” her dead siblings and seek to return the Creator to this world asap.

The pieces kind of fit : What would be a better reason for Rhea to stop hunting the Elites - thus saving Momo - than the realisation that her quest for vengeance and justice for her dead relatives cost her her living son ?

Immediately feeling like dirt - Seiros the Warrior was supposed to be the Protector and Guardian of Fodlan, but Seiros the Warrior couldn’t even protect her own kid - she’d start to build the Monastery, and work on the Sothis Rez plan, Seiros the Warrior is a fraud, only Sothis the Progenitor God can guide and lead Fodlan and its inhabitants.

It’d suck for the Adrestia though - the second Lycaon dies they lose their heroic founding figures ? - but it’d be the start of their descent and loss of the Mandate of Heaven, especially if Lycaon didn’t die from “a sudden illness” but was rekt’d at home by relatives or the Adrestians he was supposed to help.

[faerociousbeast]

hmmmm.hmmhmhmhmhmhmmmmmmm i think ive figured it out

[joelsdagger]

all the things i would do || one shot

masterlist | ao3 | resources on how to help Palestine here <3

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: porn no plot. joel finds an article of clothing that belongs to you and there’s nothing holding him back once he gets his hands on them. 

rating: explicit, 18+ MDNI 

content warnings: [Post Outbreak], jackson era, established relationship, implied age gap (25+ years), joel is canon age, slightly domestic joel (blink and it’s gone), joel has a panty kink, panty sniffing, masturbation (m), soft dom!joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected p in v sex, pet names (use of baby, sweet baby, sweetheart, love), smidgen of fluff (these two are so in love it’s sickening), an inkling of a size kink (but in my head joel’s at least 6’5, he’s a BIG big man in my brain), joel’s filthy mouth, praise kink, hint of sub!joel, nipple play, one use of the word ‘Daddy’ (moots don’t look at me I couldn’t help it), slight tummy kink/tummy worship, cum eating. Joel’s POV. No use of Y/N. No physical descriptions of reader other than having hair long enough that it’s past her shoulders. 

word count: 3.1k

a/n: so, a few things before we get started. i’m new to writing fics and this is my first time publicly putting out a fic that wasn’t just for shits and giggles for my friends and i and i’m so fucking nervous like the amount of times i’ve panicked over this is a little embarrassing to admit but we ball. shout out to @skrunkly-scrimblo for encouraging me to actually write this all those months ago and for all your brilliant ideas and encouragement and practically holding my hand through it since day one. another big thank you to kat, aura, and naya for beta reading and helping me during the editing process. okay i’m done rambling, enjoy some of the filth that constantly plagues my brain <3 

Joel’s eyes blink open slowly, the sun peeks into the bedroom through the curtains across the room. For a moment he searches for you beside him, but remembers you’ve already left for the day out on patrol duty. Joel harrumphs, still bothered over letting you and Ellie bully him out of his patrol duties. “You’ve been hurting yourself too much baby,” You had told him a few weeks ago over breakfast. “Yeah, you’re an old man now. You fall over one more time and you’re done.” Ellie snickers from her seat in the kitchen. Joel just rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to the dishes, but you had caught the small grin on his face when he turned his head back to the sink. Against the two of you, Joel never stood a chance.

Joel drags himself out of bed towards his dresser to grab a new set of clothes. He throws on a blue shirt that fits a little snug on his well built form, the thin material stretches over his broad shoulders, across his strong back, and pulls taut over his biceps and he grunts as he pulls a pair of dark wash jeans over his strong, thick thighs, securing them in place with a distressed leather belt that he’s had for years. Once he’s dressed, he takes in the mess in the room. He notices both of your clothes from the night before are still scattered around the room.  He bends down to pick them up, he grunts as his knees pop when he stands back up. He starts gathering them up to toss them into the hamper already overflowing with clothes. The last article of clothing out of place is yours. Your black lace panties on the armchair in the corner. He grabs them and his eyes widen when he feels it, the center still wet from him making you come earlier. His cock instantly hardened in his jeans.  

Joel turns on his heel and in just a few long strides he’s in your shared bathroom. He deliberately avoids the mirror, knowing that if he catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror he’ll disgust himself even more. Briskly, he sets the laundry hamper on the tile near the bathtub. Joel brings the thin black lace up to his face, closes his eyes and he sniffs them, breathing you in completely. He groans at the scent of you. His cock painfully hard now. He knows he shouldn't but he can't help it. He’s addicted to you and he knows he can’t wait til you get home. He knows he can’t wait to have his way with you, dig into you any way that you will let him. So, without another second of hesitation, Joel unbuckles his belt, a clink from the metal hitting the edge of the counter, unzips his jeans and takes his thick, heavy cock out, and then brings your soaked panties to his angry, leaking tip. His precum meets the wetness of your panties and he hisses at the feeling. With the wetness of the gusset of your panties acting as a lubricant, Joel begins to slowly stroke himself, wanting to take his time, savoring every feeling, relishing in it. Joel soon becomes too desperate for release, he quickly loses control, his hips moving faster to fuck his hand, his hand tightening around his cock, the grip almost painful now. His eyes are screwed shut, as he throws his head back, the night before instantly replaying in his head.

He had just gotten out of the shower to find you sprawled out on your stomach on your side of the bed, ankles crossed in the air. He rakes his eyes over your form until his eyes land on your ass. You were wearing the panties he was currently fucking his hand with. You didn’t notice him stepping out of the bathroom, too busy looking at the photo album you had just put together. It’s relatively new, most of the pages empty, yet you were looking at the photos you had taken earlier that week at the Tipsy Bison. The one that had your attention was a photo of you and Joel that Ellie had taken. Neither of you looked at the camera, the photo had captured you mid-laugh, head tilting back, eyes shut, it was a full belly laugh at something Joel had said. Joel’s arm was around your shoulder tucking you into his side, smiling down at you, a rare type of smile, one reserved only for you. 

Leaning on the entryway, his arms crossed over his broad, tanned chest, he smiles at the view. You’re in nothing but your panties in his bed, in his home. His feet move without thinking, walking over to you. He brushes your hair over your shoulder, tracing his fingers over your soft supple skin down your back and over the lace of your panties, and lightly pinches your ass. “So pretty sweet baby,” he says shyly, almost like he’s speaking to himself. You turn your head to look up at him, smiling. Wordlessly, he took the photo album from your hands, placing it on your nightstand. He gets in the bed, carefully sitting on his knees while attempting to avoid loosening the off-white towel around his waist. You roll onto your back to face him, his silver curls still damp from the shower as water still drips onto his strong shoulders. He combs his hair back after a shower and the ends tend to curl up around his ears. It’s been months since you last cut his hair but you like his hair longer, you had whispered to him in the darkness of your bedroom, your naked, sweaty limbs tangled up together between his sheets. From that night on he hasn’t asked you to cut it for him. He likes it because you like it. 

While you’re busy ogling him, Joel’s hands immediately reach to trace the floral lace pattern before toying with the little satin black bow at the center front. His rough, calloused hands slide up your bare thighs, wrapping his large hands around your thighs and he pries open your legs, his hazel eyes locked in on your center like a bullseye and you notice the cocky smirk he’s got plastered on his face, pleased with himself that he’s already got you wet for him. 

He brings two thick fingers to slide over your covered cunt. He feels the wetness on the material and he pulls back to look up at you and finds your attention on his fingers. “What a mess you made, pretty girl,” he murmurs. You’re watching the movement of his fingers, entranced by his fingers teasing your pussy as he glides them up and down your slit. He clicks his tongue at you, “so wet for me huh baby? Always so wet for me. So perfect,” he smirks to himself as he gently pulls your panties to the side, revealing your aching, needy cunt. He lowers his head placing gentle kisses on the soft skin of your inner thigh, his lips tracing and peppering your skin all the way towards your center, his mouth hovering over the place you need him most and you shiver beneath him. 

“Joel,” you whisper, he chuckles seeing you all worked up for him. “Baby please,” you whimper. 

“What is it baby?” he tuts, “use your words, sweet girl,” he tilts his head slightly with a smug grin on his face. His fingers move up and down your folds. 

“N-need them inside me, p-please,” you whimper as you claw at his forearms, clutching them for stability. 

“Alright baby, lemme taste her first,” He lays flat on his stomach, moves his arms under your legs, and hoists them up over his broad shoulders. He lowers his mouth onto your cunt and the tip of his tongue licks through your folds. He hums at the sweet taste of you on his tongue. He flattens his tongue and licks a long thick stripe and he groans lowly, the vibrations making you squirm under him. 

“Fuck, more baby,” you beg. You gasp at the hook of his nose bumping your clit. Your hands fly to his hair, eyes closing swiftly, brows furrowed as you let out a loud moan. 

“There she is,” he smirks. He flicks his tongue over your clit. His eyes slip closed as he relishes in the noises leaving your mouth, like music to his ears. Your hips buck up into his face, selfishly grinding your cunt for more. Joel’s eyes flicker back up your face, “eyes on me sweetheart,” he murmurs. Your eyes snap open to watch him as he brings his fingers back up to your cunt, two thick fingers dip into you and you can hear the wet squelch as he eases his fingers in, simultaneously, he circles his tongue around your clit. He pumps his fingers slowly in and out of you, his tongue lapping at your cunt. You feel the pressure building up more intensely inside of your belly and then you’re chanting his name as he curls his fingers inside you, petting at the spongy spot he knows will break you. He closes his mouth around your clit and he sucks hard. 

“Fuck, Joel, yes yes,” Your hips bucking up into his face, your legs start to shake as you come on his face and your cunt tightening around his fingers, a loud strangled moan filling the air. 

“That’s my girl,” he says as he watches you gasp above him, pressing a quick kiss to your clit. Your eyes flutter open just in time to see him removing his fingers, all wet and shiny, and putting them in his slick covered mouth, sucking them clean. 

Softly, he grabs your ankles, pulling you down towards the edge of the bed eliciting a giggle. His favorite sound…well one of his favorites. His favorite being the next sound that comes out of your mouth when he quickly pulls your panties down. He sees the wet shine of your cum in the center and his face lights up with glee. “You made such a mess ‘a your panties, baby,” he tuts before tossing them across the room. He unties the towel from his waist and lets it fall and it pools around his legs, revealing his thick, heavy cock, the tip angry and beads of precum seeping out of the slit. You place your hands around your thighs, slowly pulling them apart, presenting your already spent pussy to him once again and he groans roughly.

He leans forward, his fingers running through your folds once more, and you quiver at his touch. He gathers your cum on his fingers and strokes himself twice before he dips the wide tip of his cock inside of you. A whine leaves your lips. That. That was his favorite sound. He doesn’t push in further… he doesn’t move an inch. He’s teasing you…wants you to ask nicely for it. Like clockwork his voice laced with honey he says “Ask for it baby, ask for my cock.” 

Desperate, you whine again “please joel… I need your cock.” Your needy fingers trail lightly over his soft belly, sitting up slightly, you place soft kisses from his belly button down to the dark patch of hair above his cock, his body trembles at the feeling of your lips ghosting over his belly and a breathy moan escapes his lips. He laces his fingers with yours, bringing your hands near your head, his large form encompassing your smaller frame, he lowers himself down over you, his lips brushing against yours. “Baby, please. Please fuck my pussy” you mewl. He pushes his cock deeper, deeper, and deeper til the head of his cock kisses your cervix, provoking a loud groan from him against your ear as he nestles himself into you, where he belongs. 

“See baby all you had to do was ask politely” Joel cooes. He drags his hips back, leaving only his tip inside you once again and you clench around him. “Fuck, goddamn you’re fucking tight,” he grits. Slowly he starts thrusting his tip in and out. 

You whine again, “Baby don’t be mean. I want all of it.” 

“Shh..I know baby, I know,” he soothes. Then in one long single thrust, he wedges his cock back inside of you to the hilt, bottoming out into your cunt, hitting the spot that only he knows with a loud ragged groan into the crook of your neck. His cock is stretching you out, feeling every twitch, he’s everywhere and it’s overwhelming. He hitches your legs up towards your chest, opening you up more, your chest pressed tightly against his, he drags the weight of his cock languidly between your slick, moaning at the wet sound of his balls slapping against your ass fills the room. 

When you look up at him it’s like you can see a lightbulb go off in his head and before you know it, Joel’s large hands grab the swell of your ass, he picks you up, and repositions you both so he’s on his back and has you sitting on his thick cock. He wants you to ride him. In this position you can feel him in the deepest parts of your belly and it hurts just a little bit but you find pleasure in it, you always have.  

Leaning forward, you place your hands on the headboard and arching your back a bit more, Joel's head falls back down onto the pillows. At the sudden change of the angle, his eyes shut for just a second before he’s snapping them right back open. He doesn’t want to miss a single thing. He wants to see it all.  He watches how your breasts bounce as you move and quickly, he leans up to catch a nipple in his mouth. He’s licking and sucking all over your pebbled nipple and then his teeth graze along the hardened peak before swiftly pulling it between his teeth. He moves onto the other and he flicks his tongue over your nipple, he sucks and nips at it lightly before he lets your tit fall from his mouth, admiring the slight bounce of your breast before his eyes lock in on your face, watching your face contort and your mouth open while you seek your high. It's his favorite thing, watching you like this. 

“Jesus Christ, look at you, you’re takin’ me so well,” he groans. 

The grip of his hands on your hips tightens but doesn’t guide you, just seeks some ounce of control. You lean forward more so your clit brushes ever so slightly against the dark patch of curls at his base. The friction makes you approach your orgasm quickly. Joel’s eyes flicker down to where you two are connected, taking pleasure in seeing his cock splitting you open, watching as it disappears deep inside of you. 

“That’s it, baby. Fuck….use me. Fuck yourself on daddy’s cock, atta girl,” You roll your hips faster, grinding harder on his cock, greedy and desperate to come again. “C’mon baby, come all over my cock.” 

His words and your clit repeatedly pressing against him make your hips stutter and you clench around him as your orgasm finally washes over you, harder than before. Your body goes limp on his chest. Joel doesn’t let up, he grabs your thighs and lifts his hips, relentlessly fucking his cock up into you. His cock slams into you so hard the wet slapping sound of your bodies fills the room. 

You turn your head and press your lips to his ear, nipping at his earlobe, you spur him on “c’mon Joel, come for me baby,” you softly rasp. “C’mon baby, for me, do it for me love,” you whisper and he whimpers, his thrusts becoming faster, more erratic. You bite down on his shoulder to muffle the whines that leave your mouth as he fucks into you harder, your walls tighten around him, his cock twitches inside you before he hastily pulls out with a long pained groan and with his cock between your bodies, his cum spurts out, thick and warm, coating his stomach. A moment passes and you lower your lips down his chest, feeling the rough edges of his skin underneath your lips as you pepper open mouthed kisses along his strong torso, the soft skin of his belly, over the jagged scar on his lower abdomen, all the way down his happy trail, you feel him shiver beneath you. 

You sit up on his thighs, locking your eyes with his, you bring your fingers down to his cum on his stomach. You look back up at him, your gaze meeting his as you swirl your fingers twice in his spend and bring your shiny, sticky coated fingers up to your mouth, closing your lips around your fingers, sucking them clean. His mouth agape, he’s staring back at you while you use your fingers to lick up his cum, “dirty girl, one’a these days you’re gonna gimme a heart attack woman,” he groans. 

The memory of it all…you riding him, your naked breasts bouncing, his cock impaling you, watching it disappear inside you over and over, your cunt clamping down around his cock and the echo of your moans as you came last night playing in his head sends him hurtling over the edge.

His cock twitches in his hand, his other hand slamming down on the counter, he groans your name raggedly and his thighs quiver as he comes hard into his fist, harder than he ever has when jerking himself off. He pumps his release into your panties, hot, thick ropes of his cum painting the gusset. His cum spurting out seemingly endless for a man his age. 

If you were here in front of him he would pull the fabric up over your thighs, making you wear your cum filled panties before going about the rest of your day.

But you’re not here so instead he brings the cum soaked panties up to his face, eyeing his spend and your wetness for a moment. He stops himself and contemplates the idea in his head as he eyes the glistening sheen over the center. Just as quickly as the thought infiltrated his head, he decides against it and bunches up the thin material and tosses them in the old laundry basket sat in the corner of your shared bathroom. Joel tucks himself back into his jeans, washes his hands, limping slightly as he walks out of your bedroom and closes the door behind him leaving your laundry for another day.

[lemonhemlock]

the thing is i don't care about how hard it must be for the hotd writers to adapt from book to screen with budget and time limitations (even though i am historically sympathetic enough to these difficulties and i do understand the need to make changes to fit the story in a different medium)

but what i see as understandable excuses would be shoddy cgi or costumes and less impactful action scenes or even fewer action scenes/battles. which we already got anyway, the only battle (rook's rest) is humdrum and rather spiritless. to a certain extent, i can even excuse cutting out characters or merging them or simplifying storylines.

be that as it may, the fact of the matter is that, even the scenes which should have cost the least amount of money in this whole production, i.e. the sitting-around-in-rooms-talking genre of scenes for which GoT became famous, SUCK. the politics in this show are non-existent. the characters' motivations are so wishy-washy to the point of parody. the character arcs look like they were settled via a game of russian roulette. the S2 version of characters doesn't make sense as a progression of their own S1 canon.

and this has nothing to do with money OR time constraints. it plainly only has to do with bad writing. a talented writer can absolutely have a canon-divergent vision and an understandable desire to adapt their own vision. but they have to recognise if they have the TIME or the BUDGET to bring that canon-divergent vision to life, if they can sufficiently commit to integrating those changes in a way that feels organic to the characters. IF NOT, THEN DON'T DO IT.

i get it if they're big rhaenicent stans or if they really, really like this version of alicent that lives in their heards, the one that would ditch her kids in favour of rhaenyra or if they're so enamoured by the idea of heroic rhaenyra (and that's just scratching the surface when it comes to all the points the show fumbled). but if they don't and can't fit those changes in a way that doesn't destroy the logic of the narrative, in a way that doesn't leave other characters hanging dry with no motivation left to carry out the plot points they have to hit, they should have had the maturity to drop those ideas and settle on something else that could have been easier to film with the resources available.

i said it before and i'll say it again: 1) whether fans are satisfied with the changes made to the source material and 2) whether those changes make sense in the context of the show are two separate issues that apologists sometimes try to merge in other to muddle what the actual problem is. "oh you're just mad because it's not book canon" or "you're mad because your headcanons diverge" or "we had logistics limitations" are not pertinent responses to critiquing the integrity of the show's storyline!

so i hope the writers and executives see all these criticisms and choke because they did a piss-poor job of everything and turned S2 into a goddamn hack operation

[thesummerestsolstice]

Headcanon Crafts for Everyone I Missed Last Time:

Idril: a sculptor. She worked with every kind of stone imaginable, and often went looking for new material in Gondolin’s mines with Maeglin. (Look my Maeglin head canons are complicated but they should get to be friends the narrative has hurt them too much already) She actually preferred not to make elvish figures, instead focusing on strangely beautiful stone landscapes and various animal-like figures. She was actually responsible for Middle-Earth’s version of the gargoyle, having carved several to stand guard over Gondolin. Several elves swore that the statues moved, but she never addressed those rumors. She also liked to paint her work with bright colors, which would’ve been seen as odd back in Valinor, but fit right in in First Age Middle-Earth.

Maeglin: a smith, but his craft was more in-line with Avarin practice than Noldor practice; with much less focus on the idea of making gems and heavier focus on understanding natural geology and the properties of various gems and metals. He knew the mines of Gondolin better than anyone, and wrote plenty about the the earth under the earth. His work also had fairly significant Dwarfish influences. He liked to make mechanically complex pieces, with moving parts or even some internal gear work.

Finduilas: a hunter. Her and her father were both nature people, just in very different ways. She was silent, with all the grace of a dancer, and quick enough to outrun most of what she hunted. She preferred to go after more aggressive animals– wild boar, wolves, bears, even wargs– and leave the deer and rabbits be. She was born in Beleriand, and had never met the Valar, but sometimes, privately, offered up prayers to Orome. She liked to imagine she could’ve been in his hunt, if things had turned out a bit differently.

Celebrimbor: a smith, in the very traditional Noldor sense. Gemworker, specialized in jewelry, made various famously beautiful pieces, etc. Was never quite happy sticking to hairpins and necklaces. Longed to try his hand at imbuing his work with real power, but always talked himself out of it. A whole binder of concepts for works of power sat locked away in a chest in his workshop for centuries. He never talked to anyone about it. He was as ashamed of his feelings for his craft as he was of his feelings for his family. By the end of his life, he’d made peace with only one of those things.

Earendil: a mariner? Alright, he was definitely a mariner, and he loved the ship life– he even built a few boats of his own, in a similar fantastic style to Turgon’s architecture– but he also had a longstanding fascination with the natural world, and filled volumes and volumes of journals with information on various plants, animals, and minerals. But natural lore isn’t a recognized Noldor craft, since it involves learning but doesn’t really produce tangible results. Still, it was a passion he got from afternoons spent learning about geology with “Uncle Mole,” and one he shared with Elrond. Researching the beauty and wonder of nature gave Earendil something to do with his immortal life, and was a big part of the reason Elrond chose to be immortal at all.

Gil-Galad: a king. No, really, he’d been the high-king of the Noldor since he was a child, and hadn’t really had time for trivialities like “finding a life purpose” or “having fun.” He was too busy learning how to stay alive in late stage Beleriand (read: hell) and learning to rule the least cooperative group of elves imaginable. He wanted to be a painter, and while he found enough practice time to get good at his chosen craft; because of how long detailed paintings can take, he almost never had time to actually make anything. He tried not to let it bother him too much. He didn’t always succeed at that.

Elrond: in a bit of a weird spot. Elrond is most associated with lore and healing; but, as discussed, “lore” isn’t considered a craft. And, well. Healing had to be Elrond’s craft, right? He’d been doing it since he was seven, and just about the only person in Amon Ereb who could still use healing powers. And it was good work, and it was rewarding, even if it often left him feeling so burned out and worried that he forgot to eat or sleep. It took him a long time to admit to himself that healing for him was what fighting was to many other elves: a necessity. Truth be told, he’d rather be gardener, working with the earth to create a place of peace and beauty. Also, Elrond is basically a nature spirit. So. It was something he began to explore in the peace of the early Second Age. He found that his Ainuric powers had all sorts of interesting effects on plant life. He also learned how to breed new varieties of fruits, vegetables, and flowers. Still, he never really considered that it could be a proper craft for him. At least, not until he first saw the valley that would one day become Rivendell.

Headcanon Crafts for Finwe and his Children, the House of Feanor, the House of Fingolfin, and the House of Finarfin.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

@ihavedonenothingright about Into The Shen Verse!! which, incidentally, also has the potential to be named “Shen-anigans: Into the Shenverse”

Who do you think would be the oldest? I’m making a family tree to start the fic planning, but I’m running into a wall and cannot figure out who has the most “Eldest Brother Energy”.

Shen Qiao is the obvious second brother. Thousand Autumns makes a point to always place him second. It basically writes itself there.

Shen Yuan was the third son in his family as stated in SVSSS which also slots in well here. And Shen Yuhua from Daughter of a Thousand Faces was the youngest child which also fits in nicely here, with the fact that Shen Yuan had a younger sister.

I’d add Shen Jiu (also from SVSSS) to the sibling set, but for the plot I have in mind, he fits either as a cousin or not at all. Also, with his childhood relationship with Yue Qi, he often gives off second brother/youngest sibling energy.

I do not have enough context on the other Shen’s just yet to slot them in. I’ve done a cursory search on each of them, but am still uncertain.

Shen Wei seems to have the most Big Brother Energy going for him, but he has a twin bother Ye Zun and would be difficult to slot into the eldest brother unless I just.. deleted his brother from the story entirely.

Shen Zechuan is the eight common born son and even in his adopted family is the younger brother. He is like, the babiest of all the Shen boys. And probably best as a cousin to the aforementioned lineup.

I can’t find a wiki on The Silent Concubine but I AM VERY ENTHUSIASIC ABOUT THE PLOT SUMMARY AND SHALL BE BINGING IT TONIGHT!! And from the summary, he is also fighting Shen Zechuan for the Babiest Shen Award.

As for Gu Yan, he is being adopted into the family. I cannot think of a reason he’d be born into it and given the name Gu Yan only to change it to Shen Shiliu later. He does however seem to have some semblance of elder brother potential. At least in comparison to the other candidates. He was a military commander. Which doesn’t necessarily make him elder brother material (I genuinely don’t know since I haven’t read more than the wiki) but most of our other contenders so far are canonically youngest siblings. Maybe he can be adopted before Shen Qiao is born??

Shen Li (and her mentor Shen Muyue) from Legend of Shen Li is absolutely a good addition to the family, but she unfortunately is not a contender for the oldest brother.

I considered switching Shen Li out with Shen Yuhua for the youngest sister since Shen Yuhua has extensive family in canon, but decided to keep Shen Yuhua as an adopted child. The Shen’s mayhaps kidnapped her from her family (who can be another branch of the Shen family and therefore she’s biologically a cousin) that didn’t care for her anyway after her mother’s demise.. she deserves a nice family besides her bestie Swallowtail. And from what I can tell from the brief Wikipedia article I found on Shen Li, she seems to have bamf older sister energy. I’ll have to watch it to know for sure though.

Anywho, our main contenders seem to be Gu Yan (who would be adopted), Shen Wei (but idk where I’d put his twin Ye Zun), or Shen Jiu (who we could explain away the younger sibling energy by him having a childhood friend that babied him).

Feel free to add other contenders in the comments.

[quitealotofsodapop]

So Mk gets surprise eggo because of paint and confined space and lack of food? Imagine that he has no idea what’s wrong with him, he goes to Lao Tzu, and when Lao Tzu goes “congrats on the baby” Everyone just kinda stops.

And Mk bursts into tears so loudly that all of heaven can hear. He’s all “I can’t have a baby, it’s too dangerous!” And “I’m not ready!” Pigsy and Wukong are trying to comfort him, and the poor boys is just a sobbing mess.

And Lao Tzu is just standing there like “?????”

Sorry MK XD You're getting Egged

Bonus Anon asks:

Referencing this post where someone pointed out that MK could theoretically create a Stone Egg + the sequel that pointed out that he'd most likely do it on accident.

I could see this most likely happening in the Canon! verse since I bet the other au MK's would be more wary of Stone Egg mishaps. But I could 100% see it happening in the SlowBoiled au since that causes more drama.

And as much as I love the idea of MK becoming *ahem* egg'd as the result of a bad guy's plans or a huge catarosphe, I think it would fit more if MK did it completely on accident.

So the idea:

Post S3 MK decides that he needs some "Me time" and takes a break from work and training after the whole "Saving the world from a bone demon"-thing. He just needs some time to shut off completely from his responsibilities in the city. His friends understand and wish him well, even though they're worried since MK won't tell him *Where* he's taking a break to.

"Where" turns out to be a cool cave-let MK found while exploring FFM during S2 with no Monkey King to hover over him. Its quiet, it's secluded, its completely off-grid... But MK just can't relax. His brain is all busy, and everytime he sleeps he sees Her.

So he starts painting. And drawing. And using charcoal. Maybe a little rough pottery with the muddy clay-like stuff in the water? And soon enough he's looking like his Artist Clone with how caked in material he is.

In liu of going to sleep and risking terrible bone demon nightmares, MK meditates like how he saw the Monkey King do. In these moments his thoughts wander into deep, dark teritory. Real "call of the void"-type of thoughts.... hey should he eat something? It's been... oh gosh Pigsy's gonna killl him if he doesn't at least text to tell him how his sabbatical is going.

After his inpromtu vacation is up, MK feels... really gross? Maybe thats cus he hasn't really washed or slept or ate, or spoken to anyone in all that time. Weird.

Pigsy asks him how long it's been since MK last ate a full meal, and huffs with disappointment at his nervous laugh before pouring his son a bowl of noodles.

Bouts of nausea and dizziness follow MK everywhere afterwards. He had no idea why - paint fumes maybe? Did some toxic chemical seep into his skin? Did he get sick somehow from isolating himself in that cave? Is that Jin and Yin trying to take over the city?

At somepoint in the utter chaos of S4 likely as the rest of the gang are recieving training from Subodhi; a certain alchemist meets MK to whisper a few questions into his ear.

Lao Tzu: "I was told that you've been experiencing extreme power fluctuations for the last few weeks. May I run a few test to rule out any abnormalities?" MK: "Oh cool, no probs! Just don't put me in that furnace thing-y." (*a few tests later*) Lao Tzu: "Ok great news, it's not a curse or medical problem." MK: "Phew! Then why is my body feels like its "glitching" all the time?" Lao Tzu: "Thats a decaying glamour spell. Its likely that you had one affixed to you shortly before you were given up by your creators." MK: "Glamour spell...? Wait, then what about my powers wigging out?" Lao Tzu: "Oh thats easy. You're just pregnant." MK (has not Done the Do): "What!?"

Mere seconds after Lao Tzu gives the diagnosis - MK just starts bawling.

He doesn't want this! Not now! He does want to have kid while all This is going on! The world might be ending for Buddha's sake!

MK is having a million panic attacks rn. He wants to have kids, so many, but only in the *Future*! When he's like semi-retired and has a protege of his own to take over the monkey business- HEY WAIT, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

Subodhi has to drop the big lore that MK is a Stone Monkey - capable of reproducing asexually under extreme circumstances, in order to clear up the whole immaculate conception part.

Then Lao Tzu has to tell MK that the Stone Egg he carries will likely Kill him since he's (mostly) mortal.

MK starts crying before deciding to tackle the issue Later.

Ofc MK simply doesn't want his family to worry about him what with all this Brotherhood stuff going on... so he just keeps quiet for now.

His family are going to find out soon though. And by Guanyin, Pigsy is gonna freak.

Macaque (and later Wukong), just need to sniff MK once after they reunite to notice whats up.

Wukong offers to grab some No-Baby Spring Water immediately if MK doesnt want to keep the Egg. Macaque briefly panics thinking that the kid got knocked up the old-fashioned way... only to panic harder when he and Wukong determine it to be a Solo-Made Stone Egg(!!!). Cue two panicking fellow Stone Monkeys making MK feel even worse about his conflicted feelings on the matter.

Pls add on what you think so far! :3

[sukimas]

I feel like I'm about to do something monumentally stupid by asking this, but, what was truly going on back then? I've always been on the periphery on purpose even as I slowly wormed into the franchise by 2021 just to avoid the worst of it, but the 2010s are a complete blank outside of faint feelings.

A lot less fluency in Japanese ("moonrunes") on the whole. Translators were few and far between, and many of them only translated things that personally interested them (granted, translation today is similar, it's just that there are a lot more of 'em). With this, and without the Touhou games on steam, and with Touhouwiki much smaller (it was founded in 2009, as opposed to Wikipedia's 2001), access to canon material was more difficult. There was also a lot more wilful ignorance of canon, too- and equivocation between what was popular canon and fanon due to this (because "nobody cares about Touhou for the games".) As translators became more common and the games became more widely available (culminating with HSiFS being released on Steam) there was a bit more of a push of of "hey, you know, the canon is actually pretty interesting and isn't at all like the fanon? the fanon is fine, it's fun, but it's not the same thing". There was a lot of pushback to this, though- use of the "Everyone has their own Gensokyo" quote from a rather famous doujin in contexts where it didn't really fit (everyone has their own Gensokyo, but claiming that that is ZUN's Gensokyo is something different entirely).

And then Alternative Facts in Eastern Utopia released, creating a VERY hard line between canon enjoyers and canon ignorers (due to political splitting that was already present but increased significantly). It's cooled off some since then, but a lot of people new to Touhou are completely unaware of the absolute battle it was to even discuss canon material. Many of them see older fans' insistence on "X isn't canon" as just being annoying spoilsports- and while some of that may be true, headcanon and theory aren't intended to be dissuaded for the most part. What people are generally trying to head off is genuine falsehood, which was absolutely pervasive for decades in EN fandom. Now, that's not to say that there isn't annoying fanon on JP side, but it's generally more "this is my interpretation" than "ZUN SAID NONE OF THE GIRLS ARE GAY".

(Which is, by the way, one of the common arguments that the pro-fanon side used to use back in the day. Interestingly enough. This is primarily due to the shipping side of Touhou fandom being very well aware that few of these relationships come anywhere close to canon, while the fanoneer side was distinct in that they believed their interpretations WERE canon- or at least as important as it. It's also a lie, by the way- it was a quote from a weeb version of The Onion.)

[yullalightk]

Happy birthday Mr. Puzzles!🧩📺️⭐️

So, since tomorrow's Mr. Puzzles' official debut anniversary, I thought of posting his backstory we know so far with the context and information we recieved from the recent episodes.

This will contain my theory/hc but I'll still try to sprinkle in some canon material!

The story of Mr. Puzzles so far..

Ever since he was a child, all he wanted to do was create an amusement park to see everyone having fun and entertain others! That was always his dream. But, he's father disapproved of it and called it "Childish" not only him but others called his ideas "Stupid" or "Lacked creativity" and the one that struck him the most was "No vision!"

All of his life he was unsupported by his father the only family he had left after his mother left, and was all alone. Nobody to share his ideas hopes and dreams. But! he had his TV!!📺️ It never judged him for his ideas and was always there for him whenever he felt low.

Soon after he became obsessed with the shows he watched on TV he came up with a different idea, "What if I became a movie director instead!?! My father will surely approve of this!" So, he studied and worked hard to chase his new dream. Of creating the best movies the world has ever seen!⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

And when he reached adulthood, he decided to leave his home and fully chase his dreams of being an actor and creating his own movies. But, his father said something that'll haunt him for the rest of his life. "You're such a disappointment."

"Wh- what?" Puzzles' head was full of questions, "What did I do wrong!?" "Isn't this dream more realistic enough!!?!?" "Is there something wrong with me?" "Will you love me more if I'm... Perfect?"

Then it clicked. That's it! If Puzzles could create the best show ever, his father and everybody who wronged him will love and adore him!!!! Then he won't be a disappointment, he will never be alone, he will.. finally... be loved.

So off he went, to accomplish his dream and finally be loved and entertain others.

He bought a studio with the money he earned from his part time jobs, and started writing down all of the ideas he had in his head. But he had a problem, he was tired. Too tired, his body was becoming weak and unable to perform infront of the camera anymore.

He took coffee everyday to keep himself awake to keep on working but, it just ruined his health even more. He started to wonder...

"Am I going to die without accomplishing my dreams?!" "Am I going to die alone??!!" "No, NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!" He couldn't die!! he's just getting started, none of his shows got picked up by the higher directors, he still hasn't made any friends!! he can't die yet, he just can't.

"You're such a disappointment." Those words stuck to him like glue and it stayed in his head for a long time, he decided to accept his fate and go watch TV for the last of his remaining days.. "If I'll die, at least it will be with you, my dear friend."

Then a thought popped in his mind. "What if-" he looked at the TV that was infront of him and thought of something. Something he was afraid to admit. "What if, I was the TV itself?" He went to the garage and took a saw and brought it on the table. And did the deed. The wires from the TV stretched to his neck to his entire body and soon there wasn't any part of him that's human anymore.

He was finally perfect.

The rest is pretty much the same, this kinda fits his story and since he watched TV as a way to cope with his trauma of being neglected, It would make sense for him to be so obsessed. I really like Puzzles' character and I am curious to see what SMG4 has in store for us! Feel free to make a fanfic based on my Mr. Puzzles' backstory, and be sure to credit me.

I also hc that the reason why he has so much power is because his powers come from his soul. Now, hear me out! I think after he cut off his head and replaced it with the TV, he actually died. But, his soul didn't give up. It wanted to thrive, to live forever, to be PERFECT. And since he's a literal TV he feeds off of some sort of energy like the 5⭐️ratings. That was his source of power to create more movies.

Ofc, these are just theories and I doubt they'll ever be canon but. It is fun to think about!

I honestly had fun making this post and I'm glad it's out. I hope to hear your theories of Mr. Puzzles' backstory! And, I would just like to say... thank you Mr. Puzzles, for entertaining us and being our best TV headed character!! You'll always be our favorite SMG4 character!

I forgot to mention this but, I do feel bad for Puzzles 'cause all he ever wanted was to create something, entertain others and feel appreciated. Still! his ways of achieving those dreams are horrible I won't doubt that but, you can't help bad for him. He's such a unique character in so many different ways, I really love his character so much. And I'll use this for my lore of The 5⭐️ rivals AU.

More of his backstory:

I also think that his dreams was very uncommon and rare and that's why not a lot of people accepted him, and his story especially is inspired by the song 'Art is dead' by boburnham. A lot of his songs fits Puzzles character honestly.

[yujajacha]

welcome home

pairing: rei suwa x reader

synopsis: rei doesn't like working, preferring to laze around all day. however, coming back home to you always cheers him up. one day, he comes home to you in a maid dress.

wc: 4.5k

cw: nsfw/mdni, fem!reader, sub!reader, maid dress, fingering, blowjobs, penetration, master, rough sex, etc

notes: my first full fic.. enjoy and happy valentines! btw i will edit tags and formatting later :3 also this deviates from canon —> no miri or kazuki.. sorry o_O + posted on ao3 here ! thanks for reading!!

your doorbell rings. you drop what you’re doing and excitedly rush to the door, wishfully hoping it to be your boyfriend, rei, returning home early. it isn’t him, which is what you actually expected. he’s been gone on a mission for most of the day, and it was planned that he should be back much later. you aren’t that disappointed though, as your interest is shifted to the delivery. it ended up being a package you ordered recently. it was actually an order that you ended up forgetting about, despite the contents not being forgettable. you have other stuff to do before opening it, so you decide to put it aside for later, placing it in your room and opting to finish your endless list of daily tasks.

awhile has passed since the delivery that shooked your routine and luckily many things around the house we’re getting done. rei’s pile of used cigarettes were thrown out properly, his endless pile of new games put away, his messes (empty chip bags and more) on the couch were cleaned up, the laundry was washed and folded, packages were packed away and more. rei should be back soon, at least you’re expecting him to come back in not too long. you’re aware he won’t be back just yet, but this gives you enough time to prepare your surprise.

in the meantime, you finally decide to open your package. everything was neatly packed. while opening it, you’re starting to get embarrassed. it’s a maid outfit and it’s making you feel really shy. the material is great and all the frills are cute. the order comes with cute accessories, and the dress itself is really your style, it’s just a bit revealing as well. there’s no way you’re gonna let yourself get cold feet, especially knowing how much rei would enjoy it, but the idea of wearing all of this is making your headlight.

you sheepishly try on the headpiece. you decided that they’re pretty cute. with a bit of hesitation, you start putting on the rest of the costume. you put on the dress, then add the apron, the arm accessories and the matching thigh highs. it fits pretty nicely and is rather flattering on you, and you shyly admire yourself in the mirror. after sheepishly putting everything on, you patiently wait for his arrival as you assume he should be finally home.

there’s finally a faint rustling of keys that can be heard in the distance. your body shifts towards the noise. “i’m home,” rei announces, locking the door and removing his shoes while making his way through the front door.

upon hearing this sound, you make your way towards the front and come greet him with a shy “welcome.” you can’t meet his eyes out of embarrassment and just end up looking away. you can feel his gaze piercing through you.

whenever he comes back home after a mission, rei’s always pleased with seeing your face cheerfully come greet him. just thinking about you makes him feel better anyways. however, this time not only is he greeted by you, which is already such a treat, but also you’re wearing those clothes. it takes him a second to take everything in. the kind of clothes that make his pants feel unbelievably tight. he can’t lie to himself, he is so pleasantly surprised by all this. he thinks it’s really cute of you to want to surprise him by acting like his maid, it wipes the scrowl off his face immediately. he just stares at you, taking all the details of your outfit in and observing the cute expressions on your face as well as how your body looks so good. the clothes just flatter you so well.

“how was work?” you stutter out, trying to make conversation while ignoring your obvious choice of attire. you want to wait until he brings it up, which you know he will do so promptly.

rei puts his hands around your waist, and proceeds to bring your body closer to his. you look up towards him, bringing your face into his and give him a welcome back kiss, something you always make sure to do. he always enjoys your kisses the best. this time it’s honestly more like a peck. you can tell he likes it anyways, and gladly accepts the peck. the way you’re acting shy, as if you’re not the one who decided to put this all on your own, gets him really going. he puts his face into your neck and rubs it like the cat he is. he then gives it a kiss. “it was ok,” he eventually speaks out a reply, “i’m more interested in what you’re wearing. what’s all this?”

“nothing,” you reply, face red, looking away from his intense gaze.

“really?” he teases. “there’s no way this is nothing,” he bluntly states as he brings up his hand to brush the tip of the lace of the headpiece that are adored on the top of your head. he’s really intrigued by your current appearance, but with good measure. “you prepared all this just for me?”

you avoid the intense look he gives you while you bring your arms around his body, hugging him back.

“maybe,” you finally answer back after a small delay, still feeling very flustered.

thinking of you as wearing these kinds of clothes makes him really excited. “does this finally make you my maid now?” he says with a flight excited tone in his voice. his hands are currently toying with the bell on the collar.

you don’t answer back, even if you would find the words to answer back you physically couldn’t. he already has his lips back on yours before you could even come up with an answer. he kisses you until you’re out of breath. he only pulls away once you slightly push on his chest for air.

you then nod to him, looking up dazedly into his eyes as you don’t have it in you to answer as of right now.

“hm?” he taunts, “you already can’t speak? i haven’t even touched you properly yet.”

“well.. y’know..” you know what he wants to hear but you can’t bring yourself to say it.

he holds your face roughly with one of his hands and tilts your face to make sure you’re looking at him in his eyes. “come on say it, you’re gonna be a good maid for me, aren’t you?” he playfully exclaims.

“yeah, this does make me your maid, rei,” you answer back.

he shakes his head. “if you’re my maid, doesn’t that make me your master?”

“ah. yeah..” you hide your face in his chest.

“then you’d have to address me properly, no?”

“i’m.. your maid, m-master” you muster up.

“didn’t you also forget to greet me properly when i came in?” he snickers and abruptly lets go of your body, taking a step back, putting a bit of physical distance between both of you.

you stare at him with a confused look, but then it hits you. “ah, yeah.. welcome back, master,” you say embarrassingly. you bring your hands to your skirt, ruffling the bottom and lifting your skirt up, revealing to him the lewd matching panties you got specifically for this outfit. you can’t help but feel shy when facing him in those clothes, saying those words. you’re sure he’s gonna appreciate that act of boldness.

in response to that lewd act of yours, rei swallows out of arousal. he takes a step forward and meets your face. he leans into your body, slightly towering over you. “i can’t believe such a lewd maid is greeting me like this,” he sneers. he brings himself even closer to you, to the point where you feel the warmth from his body.

you let out a whimper when he brings two fingers to your clothed pussy and rubs it roughly. you almost let go of your skirt before he gives your skirt a slight pull with his other hand, “make sure to keep still and don’t let go. you don’t want me to punish you already, right?” you murmur an agreement to his words.

“these panties are so wet,” he says, pressing into the evident dampness even more, “it doesn’t surprise me from such a perverted maid,” rubbing more intensely at your cunt through your panties. you moan back at him. he moves his hand to cup your pussy, which makes you shudder. he hooks his fingers to your panties and swiftly moves them to the side. he doesn’t even bother completely taking them off, he’ll do it later. right now, he’s honestly out of patience.

he enters his finger into your dripping wet cunt which makes you gasp. it’s so tight and wet, he really wants to dig in. he makes sure that his finger is fully inserted before he brashly removes it. he then promptly sucks your juices off his finger. he thoroughly sucks it while making sure you look straight into his eyes. you give him a dazed look, to which he purposely removes his finger with a loud pop sound, “tastes so good,” he announces and the flavor makes him automatically lick his lips, itching for more.

now with two fingers, he enters into you once more. he rubs inside, looking for the spot that makes you see stars. he draws his fingers in and out of you, until he finds that spot. once he hits it, your legs quiver. with his other hand, he lightly rubs at your clit in a circular motion.

you almost let go of your skirt out of shock because of all the pleasure to which rei definitely did not miss. he purposely rubs onto your clit harder and starts pumping his fingers in and out of you quicker. “hold on properly until you cum,” he deadpanly warns. you can’t help but moan out and clench onto your skirt.

you’re standing there in front of him, coating his fingers with your juices. he enjoys the sounds that come out of your squelching pussy so so much. he wouldn’t have it any other way. it is really a treat to come back home and already have you like that for him.

he’s gradually sped up more and more, and you start feeling your orgasm take over. your pussy spasms around his fingers and he doesn’t slow down. you feel it come throughout your whole body. your legs shake intensely and you finally let go of your skirt.

he intensely watches you while you cum, “you’re such a good girl, cumming like that for me.” he pets your head, proud of you for behaving.

he then brings your face right up to his. he rests his hand on your cheek, before bringing his fingers to your lips and caressing it. your eyes meets his and he gives you another lazy lustful stare. you shiver knowing what’s going to come next. you close your eyes while he leans into your lips. the kiss is sloppy, with his tongue eagerly entering your mouth full of need and want. a string of spit connects both of your mouths when he ends the kiss. it makes you feel so vulgar for just a kiss.

“this isn’t enough to satisfy me, you know,” rei chuckles, bringing his hand down to your neck, where the collar resides. he plays with the lace that’s on it. rei reminds himself how cute it looks on you.

he completely lets go of your face before picking you up bridal style. you cling onto his body. ���let’s go somewhere more comfortable,” he declares while landing a kiss on your face and moves away from the entrance. he carries you with ease given the strength he possesses.

he doesn’t go too far and decides on settling you on the couch. he wants to indulge you quickly, and your shared bedroom is too far, he doesn’t have enough patience for that today. the couch is good. the position he places you has you sitting with your legs dangling off the edges. he makes sure to place you comfortably. he lets his body fall on the couch, right besides where you’re sitting. you slightly jump when his body weight makes the couch dip. he brings your body over his and makes you sit above his crotch, facing his chest. you can already feel how hard he is. it excites you how he’s really raring to go.

rei toys with the maid skirt again, while grinding his hips into your crotch. his hands start caressing your thighs, playing with the socks. he gives your legs a firm squeeze. eventually, his hands go up your body, from your hips to grasping at your waist and he stops at your boobs. he cups your chest over the soft fabric of the maid outfit. he holds each of them firmly and rubs your nipples with his thumbs. he can feel how erect they’ve become through the clothes. you then bring down your face and start kissing him again. once the kiss end, he starts regaining focus, “you just came,” and he draws out a breath, “i deserve a reward, don’t forget, i’m the master.”

your mind already feels clouded after your first orgasm and the kissing didn’t help, so you just reply with a tiny whine. you get a slap on your cunt for not properly answering. your body jumps at that. “be a good girl and reply properly, what did i say about actually answering?” he grinches.

“yeah, yeah, yeah,” you whine back while nodding, finding it hard to properly form your sentences.

“hm? yeah to what?” he grunts out.

“you deserve a reward, master,” finally comes out of you. it sounds more like a whine than proper words. you’re surprised you’re even able to still form coherent thoughts.

he quickly grabs your hips one last time and grinds himself on you. you can feel how hard he is. he then gives your ear a quick kiss before letting himself lay back and relax on the couch.

you then absentmindedly lift yourself off rei and drop to your knees, between both of his legs. your hands are placed on both of his thighs, slightly gripping the fabric of his pants. you bring your head right above his crotch and rub your face on it. he signals you to start unzipping his pants, so you comply. he then lifts his own hips to help you remove them with ease. he’s now in black boxers and it is so obvious to see how hard his dick is. you decide to give it a few licks through the cloth, letting him feel the wetness seeping through from your mouth. when you retreat, he roughly palms his dick before letting his cock jump free. he quickly discards everything on the floor.

your face is still inches away from his dick, and is still very close. however, before you can actually grab his dick, he uses it to tease you. he loves how obedient and willing you are to serve him, however he loves toying with you even more. he drags the tip along your lips and pulls back with a “uh uh” when you bring your face to try to lick it.

rei squishes his tip to your lips and coats them with his precum. he's making sure to drag it, so that your lips move. he then decides to move his arousal on the rest of your face. your face always looks so attractive to him, but it’s just something else when his dick right in front of it. no words can describe how much he likes it.

eventually, he stops purposely teasing you and lets you grab his dick. you hold onto the base and start from there, giving his cock, small, kitty licks. one of your hands holds his balls, while the other starts gently squeezing his tip. your tongue moves up and finds itself at the tip. you then give it one big suck. this makes rei’s hands find themself into your hair. he gives your hair a good tug. he then decides to move the stray strands of hair and place them behind your ear.

you remove your mouth from his tip and continue licking the rest of his dick. your hands massage and stroke him. “this is a special massage you know?” you tell him between licks. he then thrusts into your mouth which makes you gag. “what do you mean by special?” he asks, already being fully aware of the answer, but wanting to hear it directly.

“well, you know..” you stutter out, still licking.

“know what?” he answers back.

“it’s a special maid service, okay!”

he silently chuckles at your flustered reply, firmly holding your head the whole time. you then meet his eyes. the look you give him when you look up into his eyes with his dick stuffed into your mouth could make him cum on sight, but he has better plans. he would really want to fuck your mouth, so badly, but he’ll do that another time. “i’d rather cum inside your pussy,” he warns you. you remove your hands and let go of his dick, letting your mouth make a “pop” sound.

he brings his hands under your arms and lifts you up. with a small delay, you shuffle, trying to sit up and he helps you by lifting you up. he’s so strong that he doesn’t have any difficulties manhandling you to his will. it always shocks you how he does it with so much ease. nevertheless, it never fails to turn you on. you’re now facing him again, with your legs around his hips. you put your hands on his shoulder and lift your hips so he can remove your panties. he puts them aside and starts spreading your pussy lips, admiring how glistening it is.

rei then takes his dick and taps at the front of your pussy. he then rubs his tip all along its length, making sure to cover his dick with the wetness that’s leaking from you. he rubs the tip in a circular motion all around you. he pushes the tip of his cock into your pulsing heat. it’s so wet he can easily slide in. he lets out a grunt before snapping his hips up to meet yours, thrusting his whole length inside. your cunt sucks him in. you moan at the sudden feeling of being so full. you can feel him stretching you out.

“don’t hold back any of your sounds,” he grunts out, watching you bite your lips. hearing every little moan, whimper, whine you do makes him crazy. any word that comes out of your mouth in that voice of yours makes him speechless. even if you wanted to stay quiet, you wouldn’t be able to, not with the way his dick is reaching so deeply into you.

“i won’t,” you need a second to gather your thoughts, “i won’t hold back any sounds.” he feels fulfilled by your reply and rewards you with a kiss.

you feel so warm that he can’t help but grab your hips even harder, to the point of bruising them. even if he wanted to be gentle, he wouldn’t be able. you’re so wet. your pussy drools around him, coating his cock with your juices. he starts setting a harsh pace, which you brace yourself by holding onto his upper body with a tighter grip. “it feels really, really good master,” you tell him. he can’t help but buck his hips in pleasure, letting you know he heard you. your gummy walls squeeze him so well.

your hands eventually find themselves under his shirt, craving his warmth even more. however, you can’t help but scratch his back and claw at it when nearing your high. “you’re just like a cat, scratching my back,” he says, amused and turned on, “those are my favorite kind of marks.”

he then grips your hips and starts setting a brutal rhythm. he feels your body trying to scramble away from the pleasure, “c’mon, take my cock like a good girl, you’re supposed to be a well behaved maid.” you hold onto him more, trying not to let go. with the way he’s fucking you, you feel your body shake at his thrusts.

“you’re gonna cum soon, aren’t you?” he tells you. there’s no way he wouldn’t be able to tell, with the way your body is tightening up around him with your walls spamming, how you’re slurring every word, just looking at your face is enough to realize.

you nod to him and desperately moan out a yes. he brushes your hair out of your face, “then what should a cumdump like you say?” he asks, landing a kiss on your forehead. that gentle action is so different from the rough way his hips are moving and the filthy words that come out of his mouth.

you know immediately what he wants. he always likes making you beg and you’re sure that with the maid outfit he wants to hear it even more. “please let me cum, please master,” you mutter out.

he twitches at that pleading scream of yours. “wow, you have good manners now,” he says in between thrusts, “you really wanna cum that bad?”

“please!” you whine out, bringing your hips back to meet his, trying to chase your orgasm. he could listen to your voice begging and pleading to him for days on end. no matter how many times he hears them, they never bore him. “i want your cum, please master,” finally comes out of your mouth.

“fuck, you’re so naughty,” he makes sure to bring your face into his, while his other hand comes to flick at your clit, “come for me, you naughty maid.” your orgasm takes over your whole body, as well as his. he cums so much, and it fills you up. you can’t help but clench, wanting to milk him. you feel so good and full. he loves pumping you full.

you both reach your high, however he isn’t finished yet. he thinks to himself how he needs more. he’d be a fool to end it right now. he hikes your skirt up and stares at the place where you’re both connected, before removing you from his cock. he makes sure to watch it attentively, not missing any detail. his cum spills out and he swears that it just fires him even more. he wants to stuff it back into you so badly.

he stares at it, letting his cum spill down your pussy. he brings his finger and scoops up the leaking cum, fingering it back inside of you. you jitter at the intrusion of his finger, your breathing still ragged. your worned out sex face meets his now eager eyes. for someone who’s so lazy, he just doesn’t want to stop yet, “if you give me those eyes, you know i won’t leave you alone.”

he then flips you, head now facing down and back to him. you’re laying on the couch, on both of your knees. and you eventually find yourself head down. he brings both of your hands behind your back and firmly holds them there with one of his hands. you slightly shuffle in response. rei then spanks your ass, “stop trying to tempt me even more,” and with this, his cock enters your cunt once again. he’s fucking you from behind, not trying to go slow and gentle at all. he is not envisioning a break anytime soon.

once he lets go of both of your hands, you place them to your sides, supporting you. it’s not long until he places his own hands on top of your arms, gripping onto you again. he cages you with his body.

“i wanna keep you like this forever, not being able to do anything at all,” he shamelessly tells you. you’re practically drool all over the couch at his words.

“rei” you moan out, gripping the couch out of pleasure. he really wants to fuck you stupid.

“you should just always be my maid,” he says, treating you like a fleshlight. you wouldn’t be opposed to his suggestion. being treated like that everyday would make you lose your mind, in the best way possible. “you’d like that wouldn’t you? being fucked senseless everyday by me.”

you frantically nod. “yeah, i would, would want that so much,” you reply, desperately.

“i know you would, you wouldn’t have to think at all, just like right now.” you tighten up even more.

“you’re mine right?” he says after a particularly hard trust, you’re words are working him up. it was so hard you can even hear his balls slapping on your ass. you arch your back, whining out a yes. “who does this cunt belong to?”

“you, master,” you scream out, “my whole body belongs to you.”

“yeah? everything?”

“yeah.. it’s all yours, all of it,” you mutter out.

“good, with the way you’re taking my cock, fuck, i never wanna leave this pussy,” he slams his hips into yours. you honestly don’t want it to end either.

this time his thrusts are even more rushed, he’s losing control and wants nothing more but to chase his pleasure, using you. you love it as well. god, you want nothing more than to be used by him. “i love using your body like this,” he mounts?

when he finally cums, he’s making sure you’re aware of his body on top of yours, and he sinks his teeth into your neck, in an animalistic manner. you take him so well, and the fact you’re now stuffed with his cum really excites him. you don’t have any more strength and let your body fully relax. he then removes himself, and also lets his body slump besides yours, being careful enough to not squish you too much, but just a little bit. he cups your face with his hands and lovingly stares into your eyes.

“let’s go take a shower,” you giggle at him.

he then rubs his face into your own and grunts, “sure, but let’s just stay like this a bit longer,” he sighs, satisfied. you also want to bask in the afterglow, so you hum an agreement.

“oh but.. since you’re my maid, that means you’ll wash me up in the shower, no?” he smirks.

“ahh, really? i thought you wanted to rest more,” you sigh. your legs are still twitching.

“a maid shouldn't talk back to her master,” he giggles while kissing you on the cheek, “maybe i should discipline you.”

you shuffle in his lap, “i behaved more than enough,” you say jokingly sighing, but still making sure to return his kiss playfully.

“i love you,” he reminds you. before you even get time to reply, rei stands up, which ends up distracting you. he brings his arms around you, lifting you up in the process. you giggle playfully at him, letting him carry you to the shower.

[emeritusemeritus]

Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight. Pt4.

[Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley]

Part 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Title: Just wanna bewitch you in the moonlight.

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader x George Weasley

Timeline: Predominately set between GOF and OOTP (some canon has been altered to fit the story)

Summary: Both twins like Gryffindor!reader. Reader likes both twins. How will she decide who to chose in the end? Amortentia might be able to help, or not.

Warnings: Smut, mentions of sex, established relationships, threesomes, friends to lovers, all the good stuff. NO Twincest. Mentions of illness, Brief mentions of vomiting. Tiny bit of angst, possessiveness, talk of kids. Slight dominant behaviour.

Freddie fluff coming your way 🤍

You and George crept back into the house after extinguishing the tea lights on the balcony and successfully managed to make it back down to the second floor without disturbing anyone. George assured you that he'd clean up the mess on the balcony in the morning as he wanted to go straight to bed, which you agreed with.

You opened the door to the twins' room and squinted through the darkness to find Fred asleep in bed, tucked into his regular side, allowing room for you and George to climb in.

You hesitated just for a second, feeling instantaneous conflict. Who would you cuddle up to tonight? You'd spent so much time with George today and so little with Fred whilst he was ill that you suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt. But after your little adventures with George and your conversation of futures and plans, you felt intricately connected with the younger brother, at least for right now.

George moved to the little rickety wardrobe to slip into some pyjamas, pulling them out from the bottom drawer in the dresser.

You slipped out of George's sweater and neatly folded it on the desk at the side of the room before taking off the rest of your clothes, leaving you completely bare, having taken off your bra once you got back from the village and savagely losing your panties to George back on the balcony. You then reached onto the desk and grabbed an oversized T-shirt you'd left out ready for bed. It was one of Fred's old quidditch undertops which no longer fit him. You'd 'borrowed' it nearly two years ago one night that you'd had an impromptu sleepover with the twins and not had anything suitable to wear to bed. It completely drowned you and acted like a nightdress, hanging at least mid thigh with the softest material you'd ever felt, no doubt from years and years of constant washing.

"I missed the show?" George jokes, moving to stand behind you as he places his hands on your hips, running them down your thoughts to where the T-shirt ends.

"I could say the same," you whispered, trying to stay quiet so that you didn't disturb Fred.

"Didn't you get enough earlier dirty girl?" He chuckles breathily into your ear, the hottest thing you'd ever heard.

"Says the man who's been inside me twice today," you teased, turning to face him and give him a little smirk. He huffed out a laugh again and pulled your hips into his, leaning down to kiss you.

"Never enough," he mumbles into your lips before giving you one last kiss. "Right, straight to bed missy," he jokes, lightly spanking your bum as he ushers you into bed.

"Sure you don't want to cuddle up to Fred?" You ask sarcastically, causing George to shoot you a mock glare. You giggle quietly as you climb in, feeling the bed dip behind you as George climbs in behind you, immediately lifting the covers for you both.

Fred stirs only briefly at the movement in the bed before he rolls over in his sleep, turning his back to you.

"Looks like I'm not getting Freddie cuddles then," you whispered with a smile to George who huffs out a little breath of laughter, immediately opening his arms up to you, beckoning you back into his embrace.

"Georgie cuddles are better anyway," he smirks as he wraps his arms around you tightly, completely encasing you in his body. His pyjama top blocked the smooth, soothing feel of his chest but you enjoyed it regardless.

It didn't take long before you drifted off to sleep in George's arms, surrounded by your boyfriends after a perfect day.

——————

When you woke up the next morning you were immediately aware of being warm, very warm. As your consciousness came back to you and the fuzz of sleep began to dissipate, you realised the cause of the heat was the two hot bodies entwined with yours.

You peeked your eyes open, immediately squinting at the sun that shone in through the worn, voile curtains but after mere seconds of adjustment, you were able to look around the room. George lay to your left, his arm still firmly placed over your waist and your head was tucked into the little dip between his neck and shoulder. Fred was tucked tightly behind you, your body pressed closely to his as his arm lay over your middle, his large hand cupping your breast even in his sleep. Your legs were entangled with the twins', so much so that you couldn't determine who's limbs were who's.

You had no idea what time it was but as you couldn't hear any other commotion in the house, you assumed it must still be early.

You knew two things fit certain: you needed to pee and you desperately wanted a warm cup of tea, both of which would mean extracting yourself from the two men beside you, hopefully without disturbing them, especially George as you hadn't had a lot of sleep after crawling into bed so late.

You somehow managed, with great difficulty, to detach yourself from the vine like limbs of your boyfriends without disturbing them too much. George omitted a snore before rolling over to face the other side whilst Fred never flinched.

You quickly threw on a pair of pyjama shorts and grabbed George's sweater on your way out the door, careful to avoid it creaking as you crept out to go to the toilet.

Walking down to the kitchen, you noticed that no one was up yet and so you quietly made yourself a cup of tea, slipped on George's sweater and headed out the door to sit in the garden. You'd pulled a throw from the back of the sofa with you to shield your bare legs from the cold morning air and chose to sit on the little wooden bench at the side of the house, overlooking the garden and the surrounding fields.

Your mug steamed in the cold air and you couldn't help but smile at the inner peace you felt. Molly's garden was beautiful, especially at this time of year as everything bloomed. Her little vegetable patch was flourishing and you absentmindedly watched as various insects buzzed around it.

It was nice here, everything felt right.

You had to hide your relationship from nearly everyone for obvious reasons but being here at the Burrow made it infinitely easier, shielded away from prying eyes. You'd always been close with the Weasleys, the twins specifically, so there was nothing suspicious in you spending all your time with them. You did feel a little guilty that you didn't spend much time with Ginny this weekend, maybe next weekend you could all have the sleepover she'd hoped for.

"There you are," a voice said, breaking you out of your trance. You turned and looked to see a very dishevelled Fred standing in the doorway with a sleepy smile on his face, pyjamas crumpled and a half drunken bottle of dandelion and burdock in his hand. You had no idea how he made regular pyjamas look sexy but somehow he managed it. His pyjama pants were hung low on his hips, most likely so that they were actually closer to the correct length he needed with his long legs. His pyjama top fit a little snugly around the broadest part of his shoulders which seemed to display and showcase his wide shoulders and arms perfectly.

"Here I am," you replied, scooting over on the bench so that he could join you.

"Wondered where you'd snook off to," he smirked, immediately pulling the little blanket over both of your laps as he took a seat beside you.

"You're looking better," you say, taking a good look at his face. His complexion had returned to normal, his eyes sparkling and no longer looking gaunt and sallow. You reached up to smooth some of his long hair back away from his face, trying to tame it even a little as if flicked out wildly around his ears.

"I'm feeling better," he says cheekily, attempting to playfully bite your hand in front of his face. He laughed as you gasped and then took a long swig of his drink. "This helps," he grins. You simply shake your head at his silliness before he leans in to kiss you.

The taste of dandelion and burdock bursts onto your tongue as his lips capture yours. When you pull apart, Fred looks uncharacteristically sheepish.

"I'm sorry about yesterday princess," he says quietly. You're fairly certain you'd never heard him apologise like this, not even to you. "It was stupid to eat the pie not having a reverse, I just got a little too excited about it. I didn't mean to spoil the things we had planned, I just didn't really think ahead and I should have."

"It's okay Fred, I get it," you said in complete understanding. "Your inventions are always exciting and so clever, I'd be eager to try it too. You didn't spoil anything, but it would have been nice to have you there."

"How did I get so lucky with you?" He says, looking up at you with such intensity that it makes a fire rumble in your belly. His free hand came up to cradle your jaw as he pulled you in to another kiss, your eyes fluttering closed as you got lost in the kiss, all your senses muting as you focused entirely on Fred.

You both pulled apart quickly when you heard a sudden rattle of pots from inside the burrow, realising that someone was awake. You gave each other a shy little smile and shared a laugh at how the situation had transpired, suddenly reminded that you still couldn't openly show off your relationship until you'd chosen one of the brothers.

"Oh," Molly says as she steps out into the garden, the front of her hair still up in rollers, "I didn't think any of you would be awake yet," she smiles, messing with her hair, showing that she was a little embarrassed at being caught with her rollers in.

"We didn't want to wake Fred," Fred said. You couldn't help but shoot a look at him in a mixture of amusement and confusion at his words. He'd apparently made a miraculous recovery from yesterday and was already up to mischief. You had to bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing or smiling and giving the game away.

"That's nice of you dear," she smiles as she flicks her wand and water sprays out, allowing her to water the garden. "I do hope he's feeling better today," she says as she wanders back into the house, busying herself once again.

Once she had fully entered the kitchen, you turned to Fred with mockingly wide eyes and an open mouth at his actions as if you were surprised by his prank and he shot you a gorgeously smug smirk that you wanted to kiss off of his face straight away.

"I think we should be getting back to Fred," you sarcastically quipped, drinking the last of your tea and moving to stand from the bench. Fred suddenly reached out for your wrist, effectively stopping you as you turned to look at him questioningly. His eyes suddenly flickered around you both, checking that the coast was clear, before he launched himself at you, kissing you passionately one last time.

"George stop it!" You giggled, still playing along with his little game though you could anticipate his displeasure at you calling him by the wrong name. He let out a low growl at your words and attempted to pull you back towards him but you held your ground, managing to swerve his grabbing hand and winked at him as you walked through to the kitchen.

"Can I help with anything Molly?" You asked, placing your used mug in front of the kettle to make another brew. "You don't mind if I make another do you?"

"Of course not dear, I can do it," she says from the sink, immediately going into full mum mode.

"No, really it's okay, I can make it, would you like one?" You asked as you reached for the little canister of teabags.

She looked shocked for a moment and then briefly flustered as she admitted, "I don't think any of my children have ever offered to make me a cup of tea!"

You chuckle slightly as she enthusiastically nods, telling you that she takes two sugars, which you place into the mug you'd seen her use before with 'best mum' written on in bold pink letters.

"Can I adopt you?" She jokes, "or replace one of my lot, you'd make a lovely Weasley," she grins.

"Wouldn't she just," Fred suddenly says, smirking as he leans on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, watching your exchange with his mum. He has a wicked glint in his eye as he looks you up and down. Butterflies involuntarily erupted in your tummy at his words and his pointed expression, making you feel fluttery and giggly at the implication.

"Who'd make a lovely Weasley?" Ron says tiredly as he wanders into the kitchen, still yawning and looking like he'd been dragged through a hedge backwards.

"Y/n, she's making me a cup of tea!"

"Which one of us are you marrying then?" Ron jokes, barely even looking up at he walks directly over to the food, earning a scoff from you.

"Not you that's for sure," you joke earning a little scoff from the youngest male Weasley. "Bill probably."

You immediately cast your gaze over to Fred who looks instantly affronted by the notion, his eye twitching dangerously as you bat your eyelashes at him, feigning innocence.

"It's always bloody Bill," Ron mutters as he pours himself the biggest bowl of cereal you'd ever seen.

"Ronald!" Molly yells, reprimanding him for his language earning a mumbled, haphazard apology.

Your eyes never leave Fred who looks at you with a thunderous look in his eye. He nods his head towards the stairs, silently commanding you to meet him in his room and takes off up the stairs with no other words. If you didn't know Fred so well, you'd think that you had crossed a line and upset him, but the truth was that you'd only fuelled a constantly burning fire under his possessiveness and had taunted the dragon, as it were.

You quickly thanked Molly, handing her the cup of tea you'd made for her and quickly bolted up the stairs, taking your tea with you.

As you reached the top step of the second floor, your tea was magically lifted out of your hands and placed into the wooden banister. You frowned and spun around to see George sat on the bed, wand pointed in the direction of your tea. He manages to shoot you a wink before you're dragged into their bedroom by a ruffled Fred who slams the door behind you and pushes you back into it, towering over you.

"Bill eh?" He snarls, though it's more dominant than dangerous. "Two Weasley's aren't enough for you?" He immediately moves his lips to your neck and begins sucking marks into your skin, his teeth catching on your throat as he makes his point.

"You already have me and George, are you never satisfied, dirty girl?"

When you don't verbally reply, he suddenly pulls his mouth away and looks at you with the most intense gaze you'd ever seen him give.

"You need anyone else?" He asks, quirking one eyebrow at you.

You shake your head quickly, "no, no, just you and George."

"That's what I thought princess," he smirks before kissing you with all the force he could muster. The kiss leaves you breathless and a little shaky, thankful that his hand had never left your hip otherwise you'd have crumpled at his feet in a pile of mush.

"Whatd'ya say Georgie, think she's sorry?" He asks, turning his head just slightly in George's direction, though his eyes never leave yours.

"I'd say so Fred," George says.

"Hmmm," Fred smirks, before suddenly lurching forward and grabbing you, lifting you in his strong arms and then proceeds to throw you unceremoniously on the bed. You let out a little yelp at the sudden contact and once again when Fred jumps ontop of you, slowly crushing you.

"Say you're sorry sweetheart," he says with a laugh as his hands begin tickling your sides. You gasp for breath, giggles spilling out of you as you fight to pull away from his hands, desperate for him to stop.

"I'm sorry!" You shout whilst involuntarily laughing.

"What was that angel? Couldn't hear you," George says as he pins you down.

"Ahh I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You shout louder, gasping and flailing wildly in both of their holds.

They immediately stop and chuckle at you, looking down at you with wicked grins.

Fred leans down and kisses you in way of a truce and you immediately deepen the kiss, hands raising up to his hair to pull him down closer on you as the kiss turns incredibly sensual. You're suddenly overwhelmed with desire for him and never want the kiss to end as he slips his tongue along your bottom lip before meeting with yours, your tongues dancing together in a sensual play.

He eventually pulls away with a little surprised look in his eye at your sudden move but you simply smile sweetly and reach for George. He smiles, realising what you want and shuffles forward to capture your lips in a sweet kiss. This time, you reach for his hand and entwine them as you kiss, feeling a strong desire to have them both around you.

"Why would I want anyone else?" You say dreamily, suddenly feeling like you'd drank a whole bottle of felix Felicis as you look at your two boyfriends.

A sombre mood shifts over you suddenly as you realise you have to go back to school later, having to hide your relationships even more. You loved being at the burrow because it meant you could at least pretend that you could be normal behind the closed door of their shared bedroom. There was no Lee blocking you, no school rules or restrictions on your time, just pure time to do whatever you pleased.

"Sickle for your thoughts?" George says, picking up on your little absentmindedness.

"Just don't want to go back that's all," you say with a little shrug. George offers a nod and a little sympathetic smile, knowing exactly how you feel whereas Fred sighs and reaches for a strand of your hair over your shoulder.

"We'll be back next week princess, got the whole week to ourselves, wonder what we can do with the time," he smirks as he moves the strand of hair and kissed the little sensitive patch of skin behind your ear.

"Keep it in your pants Fred," you warn jokingly, sensing a shift in his mood.

"Easy for you to say, I know you two fucked last night," he mumbles into your shoulder, pressing little kisses to your skin. His tone is even with a little hint of teasing but not jealous or angry as you expect it to be; he's merely pointing out the facts and the blatant inequality.

"George wasn't stupid enough to make himself ill," you retort earning a sarcastic glare from Fred.

He pouts for only a second before launching himself to lean over you again, "just means I get you all to myself next weekend," he smirks, "better be ready princess."

[katyspersonal]

What is a piece of soulsborne lore that just utterly drives you mad?

Not going to lie, it is a hard question.. I just like or at least accept everything in these games? There ARE some "would have been more fun/deep/interesting" moments on my end, but canon decision is never BAD in my eyes! But my mind is legit blank in terms of "getting mad"! (Unless you meant mad as in, madness and not as in, anger?)

The closest to being angry I've gotten was the thing about Radahn as Miquella's consort! And, no, it is not about hassle of some Malenia-hating Redditors "getting validated 😥" or #shouldhavebeengodwyn thing! The story is NOT concerned by petty fandom infighting and its perception should not be dependent on it! And Godwyn was ALREADY in love with Fortissax! When he wasn't, he was getting so gay with his Knights that they straight up rebranded into Death Knights instead of complaining about something-something against the order! He was TAKEN!!! Cope and SEATH! xD /hs

It is... hard to explain, but it felt like a wasted concept! I realized that I'd prefer Miquella of all characters to not have a pair in canon. The God that wants to embrace everyone and love everyone should not pick a favourite. He is not ALLOWED to pick a favourite! Conceptually! It appears that Greater Will set up a standard for anyone who wants to shape the laws of nature to have a pair, right? Placidusax was a partner of previous Elden Ring's owner, Marika had two consorts and Two Fingers sent you to be the third... Looks like the rule is unbreakable, right? Except for one character...

Ranni was set on walking her "dark path" to Godhood alone, and we had to do a bit of insisting to join her! So, all in all, Miquella needed a consort because he wanted a consort! Divinity is scary, and it must be even scarier in solitude, so, I understand! Like, I sure can't even tell the guy to "grow up" for AT LEAST two reasons hfhfjdjg

But, I think he should have forsaken the biases. To love everyone or no one, to be omnipresent... Heck, keep the whole plot about a vow and clinging to Radahn, just with the plot twist of him getting "enlightnment" that he should not embrace one above everyone else! I know that he discarded his love, not his promise. Well? Discard it NOW, then? He should not at least because Radahn would be his weapon? But he wants a world WITHOUT war and battles! I don't know, I just feel a strange type of jealousy I can't explain well... Having a fav doesn't fit his concept of divinity for me. In fact, it strains the vibe of being "embraced" by him because there is always this Third Guy just standing there (menacingly). What, he will force everyone to not just be friends, but also polyamorous now? I mean he might as welllol hfhggvfj Argh. Him not being able to overcome some weakness, fear, clinginess and bias in spite of all is not a BAD story, but it could have been better? Yet I still wonder whether I am right or my preferred idea is a boring cliché and I misunderstood Miyazaki's genius of subverting it! Nor I know why what I am feeling is def a type of jealousy. Oh nooo, has he charmed ME? LITTLE PRICK!!!

Here are a few other things that I am not as happy with, but nothing critical:

Fanart sabotage: Like not making it clear enough that the guy from Scholar of the First Sin cover that holds the crown is Aldia, not Vendrick! He misses Vendrick's trademark braids (that were present even in his youth, mind you!) and has wizardy aesthetic instead of Vendrick's warrior one! Or making the idea of the statue behind Memory Altar in Bloodborne being Caryll easily skippable because this asset is also used literally everywhere in Chalice Dungeons! Or not placing Gold Pendant on the bearded guy's statue in Research Hall, so one has to admit Laurence had a beautiful beard gfhhfj Little things like this, that guaranteed absence of some cool fanart rooted in the source material! Not lore but Fromsoft's way to present things, but still!

Skipping what Demigods Vyke and Bernahl fought: I love, love, LOVE the way Miyazaki deliberately removes some pieces of the puzzle from the story that IS full in his head, to imitate his childhood experience of reading foreign books but not knowing many words! It is an interesting approach, allowing people to fill the gaps with their own imagination! But in THIS case particularly, I didn't like it. 🤔 This is a bit TOO important to miss out on. Like, bro... there were 4 deceased Shardbearers nothing and no one ever mentioned! The whole lore acts as if they never existed! They erased this part of lore so hard it ripped a HOLE in the page!

Creighton reappearing in DS3: I do not dislike what the writers ended up doing to him, but.. at the DS2 time, there was a room to speculate that Creighton was not the unhinged murderer he appeared as! But instead, a trope of a guy who just has negative charisma and SPEAKS like a serial killer! And that maybe Pate actually framed him or something like that! Creighton's lore was kind of vague in DS2! Creighton doesn't even have Mirrah accent, ffs! You know who does though? Pate! Buuuuuut, in DS3, they just straight up confirmed that yeah, he just likes killing. There is no mystery or complexity to him now, he is JUST like that. Sure, why not, but also why? ;-;

Gnarrl being patched out: Keeping the concept of Dragonic Sentinel to a unique character was a way cooler idea! Even if they just could not come up with a better boss to gatekeep Leyendell/Death, at least keep his name as someone who started the trend and others followed!

Put him back. NOW.

Characters disappearing: Again, not really a lore thing, but a presentation thing! But I am talking things like, missing out that the "female archer" in the woods in Dark Souls 1 IS Pharis herself, or that there is a stated female character Knight Amerix amongst the Forest covenant! Why people need to look through Japanese guide to know this info? Or missing the fact that Queen of Lothric is not Gwynevere? (Granted, this is a fault of English localization...) I'll dig out every single obscure gremlin from under the ground!!! Don't fuck with me!!!!!

Priscilla being discarded at birth: I can't criticize this idea at all, it works for the story and as a perfect reflection of how society of Light worked! But I can FEEL mad about it! Gwyn spared a baby dragon (Midir) on condition of having them be of help, Gwyndolin is here, Yorshka is here despite also being half-dragon and also having connection with Lifehunt ability, so tell me why-

Tell me why ONE baby of Seath just straight up got abandoned? Based on what feature others never got? This is needlessly cruel! Like, yes, it works for what it does, but I still will strangle all of the characters involved in this decision! Granted, I gave it a bandaid of saying Seath and Caitha had Yorshka after Gwyn's death now that they were left together in grief, but it doesn't exempt Seath from Priscilla being ditched! Shira I think is also his daughter ("daughter of the duke", also has white hair in concept art and Sam hair as Yorshka in game) but she is doing fine! So, he just dislikes children who remind him of his mortality? What about Yorshka, then? Is she here because she formed as a dragon "differently"? Full disrespect to this cringe looser 🤦‍♂️

Hilde being dead: They've ruined perfect Moonrithyll x Hilde yuri is what they did. Literally the only Fire Knight to be dead and it had to be her. Why could not we have just fought her as a unique mob? :pensive:

_______________

Okaaaay I think this should be it! If you wanted me to finally say something besides devout praise to Soulsborne, I hope that was enough? xD

[tinycheesecakedetective]

What about relaxation for Eternal Sugar and Greed for Golden Cheese?

Rambling/Concept Post pt. 2 (OLD)

My first ask! Thanks for asking, by the way, and sorry that this took so long to answer. I've been staring at this draft like the void, and it started to stare back.

Anyways, enough about my procrastination. That sounds good, at least for Eternal Sugar! Greed just feels kinda easy, not to mention that greed is seen as a good thing in her story specifically. Spinning greed back to being a bad trait feels like it dampens a bit of her story. That does give me a different idea for her, though. Golden Cheese Cookie, Beast of Gluttony and Burning Spice Cookie, Ancient Hero of Renewal

So you might be wondering, "Gluttony? Why gluttony, that has to do with food, doesn't it?" To which I say, I will get to it. Abundance is having [something] in excess, and Golden Cheese was drowning in wealth, subjects, and power before it was stripped from her during the Great Flour War. The reason why she was greedy was for the sake of her kingdom and went to great lengths to provide for them and her allies.

Which brings us back to why. Why gluttony? It's because Gluttony doesn't have a reason. It doesn't have a reason why it needs to consume, it just does. It is mindless, driven only by basic instinct and a lust for more because it needs more. Gluttony doesn't care if it deserves it or not, it needs to be fed and it will have what it wants. It is greed without reason. And it's a great fit for an ancient who loses sight of why they were greedy in the first place.

So... What exactly would her kingdom look like? Considering it's completely gone, GC would use the digital world she created as a blueprint. While she has the cheesebirds to help with reconstruction efforts, she lacks the resources needed. So, she begins searching for materials, and that's where the trouble begins. GC looks at the blueprints and decides it's simply not enough, so she begins expanding. And she doesn't stop; the kingdom becomes a tumor across the desert with more and more areas being built. Nowhere is untouched, and trying to explore the place is impossible because there's always new rooms, new entrances, and new things to explore. It's practically a maze with Golden Cheese at the center, always wanting more and never having enough.

Now onto Burning Spice... After beating myself up about how to make destruction a positive trait, I eventually decided on Renewal as their soul jam. Renewal, according to Merriam Webster, means "to make like new", and yes, I know it's close to change, but this was hard okay? Canonically, they give me warrior brute vibes, and I think their kingdom is just a complete wasteland. Like, there isn't anything there but monsters and sand, and maybe some old houses that survived. And technically their resting place, but that barely counts. When your known trait is destruction, it's kinda hard to think of anything to do for it. Maybe in the past they had a more permanent area? Spice seems to have connections with the Mala tribe, especially with Capsaicin Cookie specifically, but again, speculation.

I imagine Spice's (new) territory to be nomadic. Fitting with the theme of Renewal, they don't have any permanent homes and move between Spicy Spider Valley and the area surrounding their tomb in a pilgrimage of sorts. They of course have Burning Spice as ruler, but also a group of advisors that can make calls in their absence. I think the way they get their soul jam is they go on a solo journey through the wilderness to try and find himself or something, I can work out the details later.

Hollyberry Cookie, Beast of Ambition and Eternal Sugar Cookie, Ancient Hero of Serenity

Thankfully, this is way easier. Hollyberry is a boisterous, loving individual and my absolute favorite Ancient. For a while, my favorite update was the Dragon's Valley update, and I adore her interactions with Pitaya Dragon. But enough of my rambling, we're here to talk about her becoming ambition! Now this is pretty straightforward, passion and ambition are similar after all. But the difference between the two is that passion is a feeling, and ambition is a mindset. Taking one's passion and hyper focusing on a specific thing could make it into an ambition. And that's not always a good thing.

Having ambitions is great! Letting those ambitions run wild is ill advised, however. Balance is important to have, and if you don't keep that in mind, your ambitions can make you go to extremes and you might do things you never would've just to reach them. How Hollyberry falls is through her passion for the ones she loves. It starts innocently enough, she gets worried about the well being of her family, so she tries to get strong enough to protect them. She starts with trying to connect with her soul jam more, then finding artifacts that could boost her strength, and then all of a sudden she's trying to unlock the path to divinity. Whoops, how'd that happen? Interestingly enough, the Hollyberry Kingdom would probably end up the least affected by Beast!Hollyberry's actions. All they know is that she said that she would be going on a short trip and she hasn't come back yet, so the kingdom wouldn't change unless Pitaya got tired of their stalemate and made the entire kingdom their playground in the meantime.

Next and last for this post, Eternal Sugar Cookie! Also very easy, her new virtue is serenity! Eternal Sugar gave me HEAVY fallen angel vibes, although interestingly enough she gave me Greek vibes as well. Their territory is definitely some version of the Garden of Eden, what with the paradise name and seraphim wings and all. They feel like Mystic Flour's exact opposite, and while Mystic Flour tries to free everyone from all desires, Eternal Sugar seems like the type to indulgence in ALL of them and encourage pleasure over everything else.

So how do we make them into an ancient hero? Since serenity is a state of peace, perhaps they find it by complete accident. Maybe they start out as their usual slothful self but they don't find satisfaction, so she goes on some quest of self discovery and finds the way to peace or something like that. You know those relaxation gardens that people make in their backyards with the koi fish and the bonsai? Sugar's area feels like it would have that vibe, hidden away from most people.

And I think that's it. The next and probably final post is about everyone's new favorite gay ship! And they're very tricky. Again, sorry this took so long, I was running on empty for a WHILE. Hope you enjoy!

[gattnk]

Terence and Scarlett, the youngest Deans in this Golden School's history. What kind of future do you think they'll bring?

I'm back on track my lovelies! Or rather, I never really left the AF train: I just needed some time to plan things out. I've sketched out the rest of the school staff, but I'll give priority to finishing chapter 5. Not gonna lie, I only finished these two first because I fell so in love with their designs I couldn't resist sharing them sooner!

Back in the early days of my production bible, I established the Golden School would offer other courses unrelated to guardian angels/devils; both the comic and S2 of the show inspired this concept. I came up with five faculties in total, with a pair of canon teachers at the helm of each. This is how Terence and Scarlett became my Academic Deans of the Tech and Support faculty.

Tech and Support is an engineering faculty: they're the mechanics behind mascots, vehicles like auto-spheres and motor-spikes, and pretty much every piece of angel/devil infrastructure on Earth. I chose Terence and Scarlett specifically because they're the least established teachers we see in canon. Simply put, they were the only teachers with enough wiggle room to fit the bill.

I took a long, hard look at what Terence and Scarlett were supposed to be in the series: the young, hip, hot new teachers in town when they first show up in the movie, the kind that make their younger students swoon and maybe stir some love trouble indirectly with their presence. I could definitely work with that!

Terence's original design looked like the kind of guy who brings an acoustic guitar to a college party, which is a very... 2000s kind of "hot". He needed an upgrade, stat. So I went on a quest and found that hunks are in vogue now, which is fine by me! And so a hunky engineer he became, with a high-visibility coverall, work boots, tool-bags and a helmet. He got to keep some stubble and his long hair (tied up in a ponytail for safety reasons) as a recall to his original design.

Scarlett's original design screams femme fatale, which is great for eye candy but not very practical when handling machinery. So I decided to gear her properly: strong-material overalls and shirt, work boots, welding gloves and safety goggles, protective horn cuffs, short hair and no jewelry (seriously, avoid wearing dangly bits like loose hair or jewelry when you're in a workshop). Properly geared women in STEM are, or so I'm told, pretty hot :v So mission accomplished!

While Terence and Scarlett's role in my rewrite is no longer to act as a romantic wedge between Raf and Sulfus, I ended up giving them shared traits with my Raf and Sulfus redesigns. It has a narrative purpose I won't disclose for now, but if you were wondering why they feel like grown-up genderbent versions of the protagonists, now you know.

Their new colors are pretty much a mash-up of their canon palette and my usual colors for angels and devils. I wanted to subvert expectations a bit however, so I gave Terence a red halo and wings and Scarlett blue horns and wings. They're the same hue as each other's eyes for entirely aesthetic reasons.

Honestly, it's been real fun so far to work on the teachers! I love working on side characters, there's more room to explore in terms of design because there's less expectations surrounding them.

I'll Fly With You (rewrite fic) Art masterpost

[thestupidhelmet]

I was just saying if it aired on fox, or any cable network, would it have longer seasons (23 episodes) And is fox different now? I haven't watched regular tv in years.

Fox Entertainment got bought by Disney a few years back.

Shows on network and cable TV haven't been guaranteed a full 23-26 episode season for a long time (streaming changed this, I believe, although cable gave shows shorter seasons before the advent of streaming).

But had T9S been given 25 or 26 eps per season, we would've likely gotten a deeper show. But not necessarily a satisfying one because of the showrunners and head writer / their creative approach to the show.

I think this is a good place to discuss ways I think Jay's character could've been organically written and developed.

In T9S canon, Jay is the product of an emotionally toxic relationship. His father is likely unfaithful to his mother, which is likely the cause of their two divorces. His father has a child, Jay's older sister, with another woman -- either during the first divorce or being the cause of the first divorce. Three years later, Jay is born.

Kelso spent three years with Brooke and Betsy, but when? During Betsy's three years of life? If so, then Jay was conceived out of wedlock, and Jackie's pregnancy with him results in her reconciliation with and remarriage to Kelso (the Fez of it all is essentially irrelevant). Another possibility is he stayed with Brooke and Betsy three years during Jackie and Kelso's divorce, but I think the first option is more likely.

Jay's mother is a Jackie who grew into an adult from her T7S season-4 characterization. That Jackie is jealous, controlling, and also has poor enough self-esteem that she believes Kelso's false equivalency between her one kiss with Todd -- which she was tricked into -- to his months of having sex with at least two other girls and that she owes him a free pass to kiss another girl so that they're even.

This faulty logic Kelso spouts and Jackie accepts directly precedes their engagement in the T9S version of Jackie/Kelso canon.

Jay is raised by a mother who is superficial, vain, controlling, equates giving and receiving material gifts with love, has low self-esteem disguised by arrogance, and is hyper-fixated on her relationship with Kelso. This is a Jackie who was never challenged or inspired to become self-reflective, to change her ideas about how love is given and received, to realize that being controlling harms a relationship, to be self-sacrificing instead of acting entitled. This is a Jackie deprived of her life-changing relationship with Hyde (real!Hyde, not the few OOC eps and the fully OOC S8).

Jay is raised by a father who is a self-entitled, selfish, narcissistic hypocrite who's a sex addict and lacks both self-control and common sense.

The Jay of T9S doesn't reflect who raised him or his tumultuous childhood. His character was created inorganically to fit an idea (i.e. a Kelso clone who finds true love with the show's protagonist).

An organically written Jay would (or could; several possibilities exist) be leery of romantic relationships because of his parents' toxic dynamic and potentially view sex as destructive (as Donna does in T7S but for different reasons).

Jackie probably is an overbearing mom while Kelso is a lax, relatively uninvolved father -- except to show up to his son's sports games, school plays, etc. so that he can take (unearned) credit and feed off his son's successes.

Jay would suffer from anxiety, be overwhelmed by his mother's warnings about infidelity and be unable to reconcile the cognitive dissonance between that messaging and her continuously forgiving his father for being unfaithful.

His parents would both push him to be popular at school but differently. Jackie would push him to make as many social connections as he can. Not friends but people he can potentially use for his own gain later in life. Kelso's own vanity would push Jay to prove the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, in order for Kelso to feel his own sexual attractiveness is validated and reconfirmed by his son's.

Jay would inherit his mother's propensity for enjoying material items because he'll have inherited her gifts equal love mentality. Unfortunately, he's unlikely to be self-aware enough to break out of this belief without help. But if he also inherits Jackie's insightfulness, he'd have the potential to grow and change with the right influences. He also might be more of a giver than a taker because he'd rebel against the selfishness he's experienced from both his parents.

Jay could very well be quite Hyde-like because of his upbringing, protecting his compassionate, vulnerable heart from being hurt the same as his parents hurt it. So he'd be withdrawn emotionally, also as a response to his parents' emotional disregulation. He'd be a loner without that one friend who shows him that his parents' world isn't the only one that exists. Nate might fit the bill, but Nate's also a (benign, more evolved) dude-bro, which Jay would not be.

Or if Jay is born without Jackie's insightfulness but Kelso's total lack of insight, he could grow up to be a narcissistic tyrant. No one would be able to get through to him because his wounding his too great and his emotional awareness is non-existent. He'd often become emotionally disregulated and even delusional like both his parents. This is not the road I'd go down as a writer. While it's a realistic possibility, it's also a very boring one.

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Can you do Alastor please 🥺

Yep!

Send me a character and I’ll list:

Favourite thing about them: The radio filter on his voice! I'm a sucker for characters with artificial voice filters like that. And his disdain for "frivolous television technology" is amusing.

I recently rewatched the first episode of Hazbin Hotel with my dad, and he liked Alastor's radio filter too. (Yes, my dad watched some of Hazbin Hotel. And he decided it was "a bit too out there" for him.)

Least favourite thing about them: His design, I think. Yes, the creepy smile that never leaves his face is a nice touch, but that bob? It does nothing for me.

Favourite line: It's a close tie between, "Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do! That's why you're in Hell!" and, "Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time, and everyone remembers me from my radio show! The proper medium to express oneself! But you insisted on this ... noisy picture box advertisement. So I had a little fun with it."

brOTP: I like his friendships with Mimzy and Rosie. The fact that he and Mimzy knew each other when they were alive is really interesting. And I can see how he and Rosie would bond over their shared fondness for cannibalism.

Plus, I just think it's funny that Alastor has been building this platonic girl gang around him. He's asexual, but also a chick magnet.

OTP: I don't really have one for Alastor. He's definitely ace, and he might be aro too, and I have yet to see a character that's made me go, "Ooh, I'd love to see what would happen if they were in a romantic relationship with Alastor."

But if I had to pick an OTP ... maybe RadioRose? Two cannibalistic Overlords causing chaos together? That would be pretty neat.

Actually, what about RadioStatic? The fact that the normally cool and collected Vox can be made to completely malfunction because of Alastor has piqued my interest. Maybe they were dating years ago, and then something went wrong. Or maybe they had a business partnership, and Vox wanted it to become something more, and Alastor just wasn't feeling it. Yes, Vox has Valentino now, but maybe there's a part of him that still pines for Alastor - which would be ironic, considering that Alastor has little to no interest in him.

nOTP: Charlastor. I prefer them having a "twisted mentor and innocent mentee" relationship, rather than a romantic one. Given that Alastor has positioned himself as a father figure to Charlie (albeit just to annoy Lucifer), it would be weird to think of them dating.

Random headcanon: Alastor has zero artistic ability. He once tried to paint portraits of the Hazbin Hotel staff and residents as part of an art therapy exercise, but they all look cursed. Or like cats. Or like cursed cats.

Unpopular opinion: Sorry, Alastor stans, I can't get on the hype train with this guy. Not yet, anyway.

I like characters that have a mixture of the known and the mysterious - that is, you know enough about them from the canon material that there are traits you can identify and latch onto, but there are also some things left up to interpretation for you to muse over.

Right now, Alastor's just a bit too mysterious for me. Is he going to be an ally? Is he going to be an enemy? I can't decide whether I like him because I don't know enough about him.

By contrast, I already know lots about Angel Dust, and I like what I've seen so far. And there are still things I don't know about him, such as how he met Valentino, that I can speculate on, which I find fun. That's why Angel is my blorbo and Alastor isn't.

Song I associate with them: "Love ka?" (a.k.a. "Rabuka") by Hiiragi Kirai and Ado. Particularly this Yokune Ruko cover. I see it as a RadioStatic song, because the lyrics are about sharks (Vox likes sharks, doesn't he?) and about bugs (which would fit with Vox glitching out).

The ending lyrics translate as, "These putrid 'love you,' 'love you,' 'love yous' have already fallen to the ground and died out. If you don't like what you found within your reach, maybe you should stop looking." That sounds like something Alastor would say to Vox.

Favourite picture of them: