#or as good as like a normal flawed person can be i guess

[heich0e]

i know in my heart that things are very rarely ever as idyllically simple as "forgive and forget" but i do genuinely wish that i was better at the forgetting part

[uncanny-tranny]

You know... it's okay to trust your body. If you are separated from your body to such an extent you feel you cannot trust it, I truly from the bottom of my heart empathize and feel grief for you, but you can trust your body.

It's okay to listen to your body and to heed what it is telling you. I wish you (and your body) well wherever you go. You deserve the peace of mind to feel able to do what you want.

[silverislander]

fully intended and foreseen consequence of coping better with my anxiety is that this blog will at some point inevitably become More Cringe and that point is SO close on the horizon. if you get mad at me for posting things i like on my blog that is for me you clearly have more issues than i do for worrying abt that possibility for hours on end

[controld3vil]

i'll hex you, i'll possess you

pairing(s): aegon ii targaryen x wife!reader, aemond "one eye" targaryen x reader (unrequited/one sided)

synopsis: Your husband is gone. He perished in whatever was left of the battle, seared flesh, and dragon’s tar. As unbearable as it was, you fight for his throne against his brother. Believing it is for his for the taking.

notes: mentions of s02ep05, i fr feel so bad for aegon :( also cw: hints of obsessed!aemond (bc he's insane :D)

In quite a haste, you sped past all the onlookers like flies. They were nonexistent in your peripherals, your attention was entirely up ahead to the King’s chambers, the Kingsguards who stood by. Your Grace, they would say before allowing you passage past their protection. You took a glimpse, here in the dressing room for the King. Your King.

“Your Grace!” The seamstress chirped, turning to greet your lovely smile. And your righteous presence everywhere you went. It affected all now that you were the face of King’s Landing. It’s a hefty duty, yes, however, it seemed many subjects were willing, if not encouraged, of your subsequent role as the consoling figure for the realm to look to.

In front of a tall mirror was Aegon, in full Valyrian armor. You’d guessed the armor was passed down through his ancestral line, ancient, and beautiful it was kept. All the plates fit him perfectly with little alterations to adjust. Yet absent of the signature helmet paired with it, his blonde hair lay just above his shoulders, gently. 

Ever so kind were your visage toward the King. You could feel the corners of your lips curve warmly at the sight of him. He was handsome and eager to appease the people of his kingdom. Though he may not be the first choice for Throne, you knew he was trying his best to uphold the responsibilities and burden those must bear. You would have to bear it as well if you were Queen. 

“Good morrow,” You breathed, flattening the wrinkles of your dress as an excuse to eye at Aegon, openly. There was nothing to hide, simply it was different from his normal attire. In armor, in all of your lifetime, you never had to experience warfare, for better or worse. 

“Ah, my lovely wife!” In exclamation, your husband turns to compliment your captivating smile as he gleams contentedly. He takes a few steps down from the small stairway from the miniature podium, while some of his personal Kingsguard can be heard snickering. Which you wholeheartedly ignored as your attention laid straight to your King’s beaming face. “Just who I wanted to see!”

“I must speak with you,” Through your expressed delightfulness, the tone of your voice is quickly replaced with a sour one. And it seemed to have caught the attention of the seamstress and others in the room as they all paused at your subtle notion of privacy. “Alone.” Only when you mention it, it’s as though they were a flock of birds, all fleeing from the chambers at once. A few clatters and suddenly the doors were quietly slammed shut with a whisper of a demand. 

However, your husband did not seem fazed at all. He merely shrugged, casually walking to fill a cup or two with wine. Yet a visible glower can be caught right after he steps off the podium and to the table of beverages. Sometimes his reaction to your urgency was comedic. The King was never one to take duties earnestly. It’s one of his eminent flaws that all of the townsfolk and servants knew of. His days by the Silk Roads were but a regular story. But now, he is a changed man, Aegon thinks. They’ve witnessed all of his mistakes and tourneys. He’s young and has never been as interested in duty as his siblings. And now suddenly, he was pulled onto the seat as King. And you would have to sit beside him and watch. As a graceful symbol yet mute on what to say on any matter. 

How horrendous was that? 

“What troubles you, my sweet?” The sound of liquid plops as all of the noise from the outside world becomes muffled. For the past few days, it has been the most chaotic and tragic period of your life. Not just for you and Aegon, but everyone in King’s Landing. Your son, Jaehaerys, was left for dead at the hands of a murderer and false ruler. Panic was running through the streets of Flea Bottom. People questioned the King’s cruel punishment of the rat catchers though Aegon did not care for their grief. 

To you, it was more than sadness. But anger and confusion, all of your pent-up emotions ever since living in King’s Landing have made you become this way. The Capital has changed you. To who you were as a person and figure of nobility. Now you were suddenly the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, yet only moments ago, you were the princess of the firstborn son of the King. You should have expected war to come between siblings over the throne, yet your father persisted that the marriage would’ve led to success. Having lost your child, your son, made the promise to communicate more to Aegon. To somehow seek solace in the empty void of your heart in whatever left the world had. 

“You named Ser Criston Cole your Hand…” You mumbled slowly, the last words faded out into thin air. Was he wrong to do so? You did not want to say. For the little you knew about the battle being played at hand, you knew Aegon’s impulsiveness would come to the cost of many. Especially of the Council when they have refused relentlessly his thoughts and suggestions. So perhaps this decision would cause more upbringing for the noblemen to bleat about. “Why?”

A muffled sound and then a snort comes out of his mouth as Aegon proceeds to sip his wine. As if not a care of the world or your concern over the matter. “And why does this concern you?” 

He does the courtesy to hand you your cup, as you clasped it eagerly to swallow whatever worry your heart must feel. The Queen Regent, Aegon’s brother, Aemond, and even Criston Cole, all look for you in the guidance you have over their King. You’ve yet to make it clear that you don’t control him like many others would consider to do. You’d think it's heartless to manipulate a man of his feelings, especially your husband. 

Eventually, you lay the cup down, trailing your finger around the outer details of the golden goblet. It’s glimmering through the sun, carefully designed with outlines of a dragon and flames that surround the jugular of the base of the cup. It curves and twists under your palm as you proceed to swirl the liquid inside and watch as a mini typhoon is formed. 

“Do you believe your decision on making him Hand was just?” You lift your gaze to be met with his bright purple eyes. It always seemed intense and vivid in color whenever his attention was on you. As if you were the only person that mattered in the room. And if not at this moment.

You looked ravishing, decorated in his house colors with pops of gold from the jewelry and headwear. You had no shame in exemplifying wealth because he would give you everything willingly. No matter the cost or debt, every piece of gold, and diamond was meant to be yours. He watches as your golden droplet earrings jingle when you shake your head, contemplating your next words. “Because I do not think that was the wisest decision to be made, husband.”

“And, care to explain why?” Like every little piece of his childhood, Aegon looks at every objective like a game. Though he looked like he was trying to resist your hesitancy for his new Hand, he was staring into space at the glorious jewels that make your figure and face pop out more. 

You urged, before meeting the King by the tableside where the pitcher lay. “He is a warrior, not a politician,” You set your goblet aside, to look your husband in the eye more closely. “He does not know the ways of the people, especially those who he surrounds himself with. He was born lowborn, making him more naive than aware of tellings.” 

Yes, you make great points, he would say if you did not have that adorable scowl on your face. Aegon would admit, he was getting drunk by the minute. And your presence did not help in his regard to be sober. Regardless, he does take account of your calls, more than most that surround himself with. Everyone at the Council is eager to spout their plans and news, it makes him deaf to the ear when they have nothing to contribute when he suggests something. Nevertheless, you at least are supportive of his thoughts. Despite your constructive nature, he appreciates and craves your attention. 

Your King hums, drowsily and that was when you knew his mind was somewhere else. You would admit, you too were becoming tipsy with alcohol. After the morning Council meeting, you rather have your head hung outside with ratcatchers at the mess of the Council. You glance at his attire once more and this time, he catches you. He sees you, the way your doe eyes wander up and down his figure. He rarely has a chance to wear dragon armor like this. 

“Distracted, are we?” His breath immediately inches away from yours. And the scent of strong alcohol stings. You’re so accustomed to it, that you’re surprised you would still rebuke the scent of it. Apart from that, the look Aegon gives you makes your heart weak. His smile is sluggish but pulls you in like a serpent in water. It’s alluring and hypnotizing, the way his focus wanders in all of you, and the same for him. You can’t help but wonder if the work of the armor was tricked. And you let your desires plunder when you trace his breastplate armor. Of the harsh outlines it’s supposed to represent dragon scales. It’s majestic and divine, fit for a king. 

Almost timidly, your husband giggles at your touch. He separates a stray hair from your cheek, allowing leeway more into your personal space. You can’t feel automatically embarrassed if someone were to barge in. Because anyone could, the seamstress, Kingsguard, or worse, his mother. 

“Wear that armor more often and perhaps you’ll receive more than indecent staring,” A mischievous grin forms as again another jingle of your golden jewelry. Gods, you’re enticing and coy. Had he mentioned that? More than once. 

The first time you were at Court, it was a spur of surprise. Not only had you arrived with Prince Aemond unannounced, but Aegon encouraged it. You would suspect the disapproving faces of the men, especially coming from the King’s Hand and grandsire. How he ploys and plots with every citizen of King’s Landing to do his bidding. To save the Realm, of course, more to have the most influence in the city. You were aware of what he thinks of you. An obedient and dainty princess. The Queen and wife to the King should have no right to speak of politics. 

And yet here you were. 

“You do not have a seat in this Council,” Queen Regent, Alicent urges, gazing at her second son with slight apprehension. In doubt, she feels a quick quiver of fear the moment Aemond strides past the Council table. When it came to you, Alicent could only muster a poor glance. The one-eyed prince proceeds towards the map of Westeros that stands beside the King. He strides in confidence, abruptly ignoring every piercing stare bestowed on him. Other than him, you reached towards the seat at the opposing side of your King, hand delicately trailing down the handles of the chair.

“Aemond is my closest blood and our strongest sword. I welcome him,” Aegon lay unfazed at the subtle shocked expressions on everyone’s faces. “As for my wife, I think it should be customary for her to be by my side even in Council. As my father has allowed you to do for him, remember mother?” A playful grin, all-knowing of his lightheartedness, and carelessness of what others thought of his decisions. Surely his mother would be the most understanding, bestowing the same position many years ago when King Viserys was dealt ill and immobile. Shouldn’t the Queen beside her King as should they in every instance? 

Alicent is silent in her displeasure. There was no reason to refute the King’s wishes and sometimes made you appreciative of Aegon’s power and status. Being King was a risky position however it offered you more freedom and the ability to speak your mind more often than not. Your husband was the cause of this leverage for the most part. You expected the Queen Dowager to give you any kind of sign of comfort except there was none. Only but a forgotten thought and you were dismissed. 

It fills you with dismay, a small black hole for where her approval was meant to be. For the last few days, you’d only wished for Alicent’s consoling eyes.

“We should send troops marching to Harrehal, the Riverlands have the largest force.” Aemond waves his hand over where the location of Riverrun is plastered on the wall. It’s curved in cursive lettering, surrounding soft green fields, most notably of their Southern lands, which was an inhabited place of divided houses and discourse. The largest force, it had many issues of compromises and its lordship. “With them, Rhaenyra’s forces would be left vulnerable on land.”

The accordance of hums coaxed the second son with assurance. A sense of pride if you will, knowing how much more skilled and knowable he was than his brother. But the Hand was quick to question his methods. 

“And what of the small Houses of Riverrun? The Brackens and Blackwoods have been fighting each other for centuries. They would never work together as one,” Otto points out and it brings more skepticism and worry to the other Councilmen. Alliances with the Southerners were awkward. They do not know when or where to stop the fight. And it has become extremely bothersome at the time of war. The Bracken and Blackwoods were examples of that. They proceeded with the war more for themselves and would kill hundreds of their men if it meant to end their rivalry before the war even began. 

“We should negotiate with smaller Houses beyond the River lands then,” Your lips shudder slightly when the immediate eyes turn to you. Even your husband stares at you in astonishment and curiosity the same. Alicent looks at you warily. And Aemond, all too mysterious, holds a neutral look. “Would it not help Ser Criston Cole secure more of the surrounding Houses towards their larger forces? Gaining allies along the way to Riverrun would only add more to our numbers,”

“And in truth, give us a better advantage to overruling Riverrun altogether?” A devilish grin was on Aegon’s face at your suggestion. Your advice seemed promising and seemed risky but it was the most practical. King’s Landing had more advantage on land than the sea or sky, therefore it was evident in their leverage over the smaller Houses close to Riverrun. 

You tilt your head in amusement, all while lowering yourself to sit down. Yes, even though you had no experience in politics or war, you listened. You had ears whenever you managed to walk past one of their meetings. It should be frowned upon but you did not care. You wanted to have more say in protecting your family and House. Most things had been provided for you at an early age. You were a princess with a wealthy father, negotiations were your family’s specialty. You learned early on how to enunciate and please people with the way of your words. And here, you simply voiced what you believed was the safest way to Riverrun. Despite all the demeanors, none of the other Councilmen had anything else to say or disprove of your plans. 

“Good! Then it’s settled then,” The king rises, as well as everyone else who feels startled at his shifted demeanor. “Then Ser Criston Cole should prepare some men for the long journey ahead of us by dawn!” It was then you felt some sort of pride that would solidify your position at the Council. As long as you hold a strong mind, should your advice become helpful towards the men, you’d hoped they would see your presence as a blessing. 

In some midst of it all or perhaps the end, Aemond is quiet. He’s curious and admires you for everything you strive for. Many people would assume he despises you for taking the initiative to aid his king. But he does not believe in that no, you’re a delicate thing and would never be selfish on greed. Merely he can appreciate your ambitious strides from afar. The way you act around the people, the Council, and his mother makes him believe you were born into the role of Queen. You care for your subjects and think of what’s best for them. You do your best to stay by your king’s side even though he lacks the mind for it. 

Perhaps maybe, in some cases, he should’ve had you. 

The words struck right out of his head just when everyone was dismissed. While the nobleman rushes out of the council room, he delays his leave momentarily to catch a glimpse of you. You define the example of his House’s wealth, always proud to dress in colors of black and crimson red as if it was your second skin. However you do not forget about your own House colors, you embrace it all together with his own and it makes him wonder what kind of beauty like yourself can be persuaded by the likes of his brother. You were quick-witted, amusing, and altogether undeserving of Aegon’s love. 

You do not immediately flee the room as his mother or Ser Criston Cole had done. Instead, you slowly rise from your seat and make your way to your husband, eagerly. Aegon sits comfortably in his golden chair, smug with loving eyes at your figure. He could not help but eye at you openly even with his Kingsguard standing beside him. 

“Aemond, may we have the room?” He hears his older brother say. It does not take a blind man to know the following events as the one-eyed prince simply tilts his head in your direction. Before storming out of the room and the slam of the doors. His footsteps clank against the cold cobblestone pavement as he makes his way to his room. But all he could think about was your lively laughter as he disappeared from the scene. 

The day after Cole’s troops arrived back at King’s Landing, you felt a string of worry crawling down your spine. As you pace across your bedroom, you fiddle with the ends of your loose hair to solace the anxiety you feel in your stomach. The pit was too unbearable as more men would be escorted out towards Rook’s Rest. After Aegon removed Otto Hightower as Hand, Criston Cole became the primary candidate for the position. You voiced your concerns before but Aegon had yet to change his decisions on your advice.

Now rumors have spread that by the time Cole invades Rook’s Rest, Aemond would be by his side to counter whatever attack Rhaenyra plans to defend her councilman. It would risk losing one dragon, the biggest and largest female beast you’d seen. Doubt fills your mind when you try to shake your worries away. You shook your hands feverishly and swatted away the sweat building up against your palms. You must speak to Aemond. You should warn him of the consequences of this act. 

You found the prince outside of the castle. Vhagar resides in a shallow space close to the gateways to the city and is attentively monitored for her whereabouts. Very few dragon keepers watch over the powerful beast for her dangerous nature and size. As a cart, full of sheep was being carried by horses, you looked in awe at the amount of necessity the castle must provide for their dragons now. Surely it would impact the people’s living and cost. It worries you how chaotic and unlawful the palace seemed to behave in times of war. Even though you find yourself wanting to question Aemond’s intentions of helping Cole this way. 

Your words settle like a soothing wave in his ears. “Prince Aemond,” And when the one-eyed prince spots you, holding the reins of your horse with a steady hand, he’s not afraid to show his approval of your presence. The colors you wear today are regarded as wealth and beauty. The golden linen stretches along the cloth of obsidian, representative of his House, your House. The gown expands upon your collarbone, allowing the silver necklace you have on to become the ire of his attention. It entices him, brings him into your line of view. Clear cut diamonds you had on your earlobes, they jingle at the slightest movement you make, as you make your way towards him with ease. 

“Your Grace,” He prompts, politely. He is a plain canvas for you to paint over, to inspect over. You should not be afraid of his presence because he behaves well under yours. The prince regent eyes you down carefully and you’re vaguely reminded of the day before, the two of you entered the Council room.

“How was your ride with Vhagar?” You tenderly incite, head tilting towards his beast. Vhagar sits lazily with her entire body blended into the environment. Her muddy green scales combine with the grassy interior. The dragon pits were deemed too small for her size. And more so claustrophobic for a creature of her caliber, as a champion of many wars and destruction, Vhagar is rather docile for being the largest dragon. 

He hums before easily answering. “The morrow dew is not something to be missed during this time. Vhagar could sense it, and the warm breeze is sure to come sooner for summer,” He crossed his arms behind his back as if analyzing your every breath as you walked in irregular patterns, trailing along where his dragon resides. Your attention was not fully on him. No, not that he wouldn’t mind. But it was ignorant on your part to ignore him so easily. “Now save the rest of this nonsense for supper or shall I ask what were your real intentions for coming here? Though I welcome it,” 

You catch onto his coarse tone. Aemond dislikes those who do not take him seriously, like his brother. And you are aware of his estranged heart. You give him a look of consideration. It was the look of someone who had the upper hand. You knew he was becoming impatient with your meddling. 

“What are your plans with Criston Cole going to Rook’s Rest?” Your figure fully faces him now as you cup your hands together modestly. Surely the prince of the realm should respect the Queen’s uncertainties when he meets with the King’s Hand behind his back. A sliver of dread falls on the blonde prince as you take a step closer. “Consoling with the Hand without the King’s presence is extremely demeaning, my prince. Surely you have a right reason to go behind his back,” 

He takes a step forward, as Aemond’s eye moves back and forth from you. “We have a plan,” He is recursive in his thoughts and manners. Yet under your eyes, he feels utterly weak and broken, as if you have put a spell on him. “It is best if the King does not intervene.”

 Shaking your head disapprovingly, you fake disappointment. “Then what do you plan to do?” The longer it went on, the more you could feel his blood rising at the way you glanced and teased at his exploits. “As I, the Queen should know.”

“You need not,” The second son grunts, moving away to leave whatever conversation you were trying to muster with him. You intended to snuff out his plans with Criston Cole and expose them to your King's husband. Your King husband. What would he know of battles and formation? He knew better strategy than him yet you still side with Aegon with his pathetic whims on the townsfolk. 

Unsatisfied, you shot a disapproving grin. “I know you intend on attacking Rook’s Rest as a surprise, why else would you go with Cole?” You heard his mudded footsteps stop momentarily as you continued. “My question to it is, what are you trying to prove out of this act of disloyalty?” It flicks a trigger in him. A quick flash of anger, jealousy, and disgust, all coiled into one hole that explodes. 

“I intend to prove I am the better fit as heir,” His tone is sharp and alert as he stomps back to you with a violent gaze. His one good remaining eye, unharmed and uncut, shoots daggers at your stern face. A small part of you thinks he is handsome. The way you can rile him within seconds gives you a sense of joy and satisfaction that quenches whatever annoyance you had of him before.

“There is no denying that,” Your lips agape still at how much you were able to pry out of Aemond. However, there was one detail you needed to remind him of. “But you fail to recognize that Aegon still has an heir, Maegor.” With that, you close your mouth to form a thin line as you stand more confidently against the prince’s deadly stare. “And as Queen, I hope you do not try to cross your King’s benevolent trust with your anger.” 

It was his turn to remain there motionless. The one-eyed prince repeats your words over and over again. He contemplates them long and hard, glaring at the ground, at where you stood, close to his breath and space. But all of his emotional desires could be examples of an ill temper. You twist and turn his head like a puppeteer to a helpless marionette. And his strings had long sprung and trapped him in an immobile place.

He leaves without a word.

The battle was over. But the war continued. You became increasingly paranoid as no word from Cole’s army of Aegon’s wellbeing. You heard unreliable news. This and that but you wanted the real thing. The truth from a real member who had witnessed the battle at Rook’s Rest. As you twist the ring on your finger, you glance towards the rising crowd in the city. There were so many citizens.  They succeeded and followed like colonies of ants. 

Your anguish was reassured when the sight of the King’s army appeared. Shouts and screams returned you from your thoughts as hundreds of men walked and rode on horseback. Your lively expression did not last long, only to falter when meant with their solemn faces. What a grim battle it must’ve been.

“All hail King Aegon! Who went against and slain the traitor, Rhaenys, and her dragon, Meleys!” Cole exclaims in a harsh and undeserving undertone. From where you stood, on the high mounts of the castle, you saw the horrors of what they’ve done to the traitors. A severed head of the Red Queen, without her rider. Her flesh was torn and burnt. Charred from the attacks of another dragon, you did not believe Aegon had done so. You had doubts and Criston’s indifferent frown proved your intuition. 

Alicent was by the patio where you spied on the citizens of King’s Landing. She observes and feels a familiar dread from the aftermath she has yet to witness for herself. You have taken the position of Queen and in turn, must understand the order of things. Simply because she had a feeling that things did not seem as they were predicted by the townsfolk. 

When the wooden carriage of your husband is delivered to your bed chambers, everyone storms aside for the guards to set it on the floor. You arrived shortly after, nails and teeth clenched in fear as your mother-in-law appeared beside you with the same fixation. And somewhere else, your brother-in-law, Aemond carefully watches your scared position. The lid lifts and the soldiers hold onto the emergency bed that protects their King. In a swift motion, they lift and allow the body to hover over your shared bed.

In patience and precision, Maester Orywle walks into the chambers with several other maesters under his wing to begin a procedure and analysis of his injured body. The room is quickly transformed into a medical room, with various tools and gadgets displayed for the maesters disposal. You had little clue what they were doing, worried about your husband’s awakened state. 

“How is he?” You stumbled by the foot of the bed, where the other maesters scurry to give off Maester Orwyle a scalpel. Gods, the wounds he had mustered. You felt terrified and rightfully so. This could be the last time you see your husband, alive and breathing. “Is he awake?”

“I’m not sure, Your Grace,” Maester Orwlye replies with adequate patience. Knowing the panic and hysteria you must feel for your king, your husband, he pities in your state. You should not deserve such sorrow. “But I must be given time to work on his fatal wounds. Whether he lives or not will be confirmed afterward.” His unflinching face softens when glances at one of Aegon’s personal Kingsguard to escort you outside. The knight nods and walks forward to excuse himself before coming forward.

“My apologies, Your Grace,”

Yet you did not want to leave. Your palms felt hot and guilt-ridden with the idea of leaving Aegon alone to suffer. You urge, taking a step forward for only Maester Orwyle to hear. “How long can you be sure he will survive?” It’s so hushed with desperation in your voice. But the maester could only respond with a sorrowful shake. It breaks your heart wholly, to know not even the best medical professionals had a clear understanding or answer to their King’s expectancy. 

As you feel pathetic tears, ready to fall, the Queen Regent rushes to take hold of your forearm. She drags your pitiful self out of the chambers. The bodies that remained stepped aside for you and Alicent to leave swiftly. A quick flash of silver and black vanishes from your peripherals, but you cannot process anything that is happening anymore. 

The syllables of your name ring against your ears as the Queen Regent tries to bring you back to her. “My dear, please focus on me.” Delicate fingers drape a hold of your jaw, firmly. They smooth over the apples of your cheeks, smoothly and soothingly like a gesture a mother would do for their children. “You need to stand strong for Aegon and yourself. Your children, think of Jaehaera and Meagor! Pray to the gods for his health.” 

With that, you took a deep breath. 

Aemond was avoidant to the whole ordeal. No one besides Criston Cole was there when he found his brother’s scorched body. Alongside his dragon, Sunfrye, it looked as though he was fighting for his last breath. Aemond would’ve taken that chance to send him to eternal sleep if not for Cole’s arrival. A pity for him.

As he watches the scene before him, your grief-stricken features are what caused the most pain. You resembled a tragic painting, so angelic it’s saddening to see you this way. Aemond could’ve done it. He could have killed his brother and taken the glory of killing Meleys. Despite that, he did not and stormed from the scene. Now left in the shadows of what’s to come, he numbly waits for the maester’s work to be done with. The Council meeting will begin shortly. After Aegon’s procedure and Maester Orywle, official confirmation of whether he would live or not would determine whether he would become the true heir or not. 

This was what he wanted, yes? 

Except, everything was bleak now. All the colors he witnessed were suddenly wiped; now all he saw was black and white. Your tragic face comes into mind, along with your fragile sniffles and tears. Gods, he wanted to comfort your sweet little heart. Yet knowing he was the cause of it, made Aemond strangely more devoted to you. If Aegon does not survive, you are bound to be a widow. Your youngest child, Meagor was still but a babe, unfit and too young to understand what an heir was. Therefore he would be the rightful option if all else failed. He would rule in the King’s stead. 

That was what the one-eyed prince considered when he stepped through the doors to begin the Council. The King’s chair was empty as expected, looking lonely and authoritative without its ruler. In the same sense, on the opposite side, you sat soberly with nothing but a blank look. You wore cool-toned colors this morning. It reflected much of what you must be feeling. 

Grief, misery, and blame.  Even in this poor state, he still considers you attractive and alluring. It’s a shame you looked dejected and lifeless despite all your energy and might to stay awake. Your hair was even braided in a simpler style. Knowing you always had a knack for extraverted taste, Aemond takes in your appearance profoundly. Because perhaps, everyone in the Council can understand the emphasis on the wife of the King. As they eagerly await Maester Orwyle’s results, they all gaze at your seat for any kind of solace. 

He takes the chair to your left and sits. While the Grand Maester begins to explain Aegon’s conditions. The longer he spewed, the more you felt your heavy heart fall deeper into your chest. How would the realm react now? Their king suddenly struck and immobile to be by their side. He had defeated Rhaenys in battle however now suffered in a long-inducing coma just as his father did. Who would rule in his absence? It only made sense in your mind but you did not make it become a reality. 

“But he is very much alive, Your Grace,” Maester Orywle gives an earnest smile to the Queen Mother as she exhales with the utmost relief. “Though he will need time to recover, I do not think he will ever be the same.” 

An unfavorable grunt from Aemond brings attention from you and Cole. “So he is unable to leave his chambers.”

“I’m afraid not,” 

“Then we must choose who is to rule in his stead,” Lord Wylde speaks of the obvious, sparing everyone a momentary glance. He clears his throat and rubs his beard, nervously.

“If anyone should come in Aegon’s stead, it is his wife,” Alicent jabs, shooting quick assertiveness when she presses her crossed palms onto the table. Your name leaves her lips as a clear sign of hope. “She was the closest companion to the King and has been since this war started. It is only right for her to continue her husband’s intentions and plans.” 

“And what plans did the King have?” A pompous statement coming from her second son, which surprised you as well. Aemond was known for his restrained nature however it seems as days passed, he was slowly losing his grip on his sanity. “I am the closest heir the King has. Would it not be I who rules in his stead?” In the turn of the tides, the room is divided upon their suggestions. You can tell by the wary looks the lords hold with each other. However, you have been grateful for Alicent’s support regardless of the cold shoulder she has given you previously. 

“You are not fit, Prince Aemond,” Your fingers slide and take hold of the marble ball in front of you. The weight of the object pleasantly gives you a boost of poise to look him in his one good remaining eye. “The King’s line is still secured for my son, Meagor will become the next heir. But he is young so for the time being, I am naturally the next in line to come to his stead. As his wife and Queen, I should have a say as well.” 

It’s what Aegon would’ve wanted.

[hannahhook7744]

Why Franklin and Maryann Portman are the Worst™ (Part 1)!;

I want to preface this by saying that I know that by no means Franklin and Maryann Portman are the actual worst parents in fiction or in this series even. 

Of course they aren't. 

But that doesn't mean that I can't still refer to them as the worst™ for them being shitty. Even if I do believe that on some leave that they do care about/love their son. 

I also wanna point out that it's been awhile since I read the books so I'm going off my memory and the wiki for this. So I may forget some context of why this or that happens, and if I do that, feel free to comment it down below respectfully. And if I forget something that you find shitty that they did, also feel free to reblog or comment it down below because I would love to talk about these characters and fandom more.

Am I saying that Abe Portman is 100% perfect and did nothing wrong whatsoever? No, that would go against how his character is betrayed in the books—as a flawed traumatized man who did his best to be there for his family and keep them and himself (as well as others) safe and went about some things the wrong way. 

 Now that that's out of the way…

According to the wiki:

“Jacob was born on Halloween, and up until he was eight years old was convinced by his parents that trick-or-treating candy was birthday presents (something apparently revealed in Hollow City).” 

These people are rich. 

R-I-C-H. 

Rich enough that Jacob’s dad can study birds and volunteer and write mine books that he never publishes without the worry of them not having anything to eat. 

R-I-C-H enough that Jacob comments that “I did love her, of course, but mostly because loving your mom is mandatory, not because she was someone I think I'd like very much if I met her walking down the street. Which she wouldn't be, anyway; walking is for poor people.” And rich enough that they gave their kid their four year old sundan so that they could get a brand new car. 

And for eight years, they had their son believing that candy was a birthday present. 

1. Now, look. I get it. Birthday shopping is hard, especially for a little itty bitty kid but not actually having the money to buy your only kid gifts and choosing not to because people are handing out candy on that day anyway? That's not a very nice thing to do for that long. 

They let him go through three years of school thinking that and we never learned how he found out that was a lie. That's not even including the fact that the rest of their extended family let this lie continue (assuming they knew). 

Can you imagine if Jacob found out because he mentioned this to his classmates or a teacher? Maybe a teacher or family member could salvage the situation but little kids can be brutal, especially towards other little kids who they think are wrong and considering we know that in that same year, Jacob was pants-ed causing him to stop believing anything Abe said…. It's not entirely out of the realm of possibility tl believe that one of Jacob's classmates got in a fight with him over it and caused some kind of embarrassing, painful memory. 

Though I guess it's a good thing they didn't get Jacob birthday presents that early on considering my second point. 

2. The birthday scene. 

Look at his birthday scene. 

This scene? Shouldn't really exist. 

Not because I hate birthday scenes but because Jacob literally told his parents he didn't want a party which under normal circumstances is a reasonable ask within itself. But these? These aren't even normal circumstances. 

Jacob doesn't want a party because the one person he'd actually want there, in his own words, is his grandpa. His grandpa who died in his arms nine months before and who Jacob has been viciously mourning for said nine months. His grandpa whose death caused Jacob's ‘mental breakdown’. 

Whose house they had also cleaned out recently, doing shit all for the now sixteen year old’s mental health and grief. 

But what do his parents do? 

Throw him a surprise party.

A surprise party.

For their jumpy traumatized son who found his grandpa bleeding out in the dark after getting attacked by a monster (or ‘rabid dogs’) and who has been sleeping in the fucking laundry room. 

Why on earth would going against his wishes be good for him? He said he didn't want a party and under these circumstances, it's even more understandable. If you really want your son to socialize or to celebrate, then get him a cake or some food he likes and invite his friend over. Talk to him. 

Don't throw him a party he doesn't want and don't throw the kid who's been having non-stop nightmares about the monsters who killed his grandfather a fucking surprise party. 

To make matters, in this party:

One of his uncles he’s not close to tries to spring a summer trip to his house on him, listing shit that he likely knows Jacob doesn't like with no previous warning to the kid himself (his parents were just planning to ship him off, whether he wanted it or not). 

They're calling Jacob's apparent disorder ‘his thing’. 

And nobody is actually getting him anything he wants. Just shit they've been gifted and are trying to get rid of. 

Gifts like CD's of country Christmas music or subscriptions to Field and Stream (because his Uncle Les thinks he's outdoorsy, this one I can understand slightly since Jacob did want to be an adventurer but still). 

The only exceptions being:

 1. The key to the family four-year-old sedan, which Jacob is embarrassed to be receiving in front of Ricky (who Jacob hasn't talked to in a long while after a fight they had). 

And 

2. A camera Jacob had been wanting for ages (since last summer) from his parents….who likely only gifted it to him because of his dad's new book.

Which leads to his mom drunkeningly making front of her husband at her sixteen year old’s birthday party…. Real classy. 

Oh and 3. A book that belonged to Abe that Jacob's parental Aunt Susie snagged trom the house when they were cleaning it out. A book titled “The Selected Works of Ralph Waldo Emerson”. 

She gave this to him, saying it was from Abe because he'd written Jacob's name in it. 

Thoughtful right? 

Well everyone else doesn't think so because they go quiet. Jacob's mom, Maryann even while drunk, tries to say it was thoughtful and that she didn't know Abe was a reader.

Meanwhile Jacob's dad, Franklin, is barely hiding how pissed he is. 

Like dude. 

Dude. 

Do you really hate your own dad so much that you don't want your grieving son to have even just a book of poems that the only member of the family who he was close to left for him? Are you still, even after that disastrous day where you cleaned out the fucking house with him there and fought with him, refusing to let him have any ties left?

To be fair, you can say that this is because of his own history with Abe and that it's because Jacob is in a worrying state. But that doesn't really hold up considering that they let Abe babysit Jacob often and fill his head up with stories they thought he embellished  due to his own trauma and because they thought that Jacob was well enough to handle trashing and donating all of his dead grandpa’s stuff. 

Sure, they don't take the book from him but the fact Franklin can't even hide how pissed he is is shitty. 

That's not even considering this little tidbit here:

“My mother leaned toward me and in a tense whisper asked if I needed a drink of water, which was mom-speak for keep it together, people are staring.”

….

Do I even need to say anything?

The fact that Jacob thinks this probably means that his parents—or even just Maryann—have said this to him before. Frequently so, even. To the point where he's trying to escape the room, feeling like he might cry, and instead of thinking that his parents (or anyone in this family) might be able to potentially comfort him in this hard moment, this is what he's thinking. 

It's infuriating.

But not as infuriating as my last point for now!

3. Franklin sent his then fifteen year old son to deal with what he thought was his dementia ridden, war world 2 veteran father having a PTSD attack/episode. 

Franklin gets called when he's volunteering at a bird rescue in what is either early afternoon or night by his worried fifteen year old said who tells him that Abe called him ‘flipping out’. 

He asks if he's taken his pills today and Jacob tells him Abe wouldn't tell him. 

At this point, any reasonable adult would go and help their poor ailing father who may be having an episode or PTSD attack about the war, what happened to his family. The monsters. 

At this point, any reasonable adult would send their son home out of danger and call up a friend or sibling or in-law to go deal with the situation. 

What does Franklin do?

He sends his fifteen year old, who is at his job, to go check on Abe. Who again, Franklin thinks is having an episode. 

Now, even if there was a chance that Abe would still recognize Jacob and wouldn't be a danger to him, who would risk sending their son to check on an ailing relative by himself when there's every chance that when Jacob gets there he'll be having flashbacks to the horrors he witnessed. I mean, it's understandable if you or another adult is there and need help calming the man for you to maybe have your teenage son there. Especially if he may be caring for him one day out of choice.

But sending your fifteen year old there by himself to handle the situation when he probably won't know what to do and when he probably hasn't seen one before?

And doing that when you know that your dad was in a war and still has a sea of weapons hidden away behind lock and key (a key which you have) because you can't be half assed to tell the shelter your volunteering at that there's a family emergency?

Franklin literally sent Jacob into a traumatizing situation that could turn dangerous (for Abe or Jacob, if Abe didn't recognize his grandson) under the assumption that all of his paranoid dad's weapons are stored away. 

And what did Abe die with in his hand?

A box cutter. 

Which just proves that Abe had things lying around that he could use as a weapon if needed. Things he could improvise with. 

Just think for a moment about what could have wrong if Abe wasn't actually in danger from a wight but something he was actually imagining—a memory from his past. Imagine what could have happened to Jacob if Abe had mistaken him for a burglar or a wight or what Franklin thought he was imagining.

Jacob can't fight. 

It's dark. 

Things could easily go wrong.

And what would happen if they did?

Jacob would be hurt and traumatized or dead and Abe would likely be in a horrible place if he wasn't, all because Franklin didn't care enough about his dad to go check on him himself. Hell you can he didn't even care about Jacob enough here, because he didn't care about what Jacob could possibly see if he sent him to deal with his grandfather.

Like, not only is he being incredibly shitty to his son but to his own ailing father who was at the very least convinced he was in danger and who was actually in danger (for all Franklin knew his dad could have actually heard someone breaking in but he didn't even take the time to think about it). 

That's all I have time to write for today but there's several other things that they do that are pretty crappy where their son is involved that I will happily discuss.

Hope this doesn't disappoint, @kallmeweirdhprroe .

[simplesoup]

Sweet but psycho

Bakugou x F!Reader

Who the hell willingly dates a man known for being a stuck up asshole?

know for throwing insults and yelling?

You….

Katsuki and you were a couple… a couple so many people questioned why were you a angel in the eyes of all the teachers and your friends dating Bakugou?

The better question is HOW? you were a student in UA too but you weren’t in class 1A hell you weren’t even in class 1B! You were in class 1H yep! The hero support class!

You had met Bakugou when he had walked in demanding to have better gauntlets made he was being a asshole to your class mate so you stepped in starting with your normal sweet and calm demeanor however this guy was a damn asshole. You quickly lost your patience’s slamming your hands down on the table “You don’t know what you even talking about extra” you mocked him “IM THE BEST YOU GONNA GET YOU WANT UPGRADES GROW A PAIR AND ASK NICELY OR FUCK OFF ASSHOLE!” you pointed to the door you weren’t gonna let this 1A asshole push you around

After a moment of silence and the blonde being absolutely lost for words he put the gauntlet down infront of you and started talking to you like a normal person pointing out flaws and what he wanted fixed and upgraded

you returned back to your calm demeanor writing down notes looking at the equipment it was interesting and it really did go well with his quirk. You took him up on his ask though you could have been an asshole and told him to fuck off.

after that day you started seeing the blonde more often he seemed to bump into you on purpose you thought it would end after you were done with his gauntlets? WRONG! he started just coming to see you for the smallest things and you started catching on

“Oi 1A extra quite staring at me use your words” you giggled looking at him “I have master your ways” you winked

“Nahh gonna have to date me to figure me out fully…. I’ll pick you up at 8 dress up we’re getting spicy soba”

you were not expecting that but couldn’t hold back the smile that creeped on your face “I’d rather just skip to the bed~” you grinned watching his face but he walked closer and got up in your personal space “That is cheaper then taking you out if that’s what you want then I suppose that can be arranged”

you giggled and blushed looking away from him a bit flustered

“I’ll bring extra clothes then”

“Good idea”

after that night you two were officially a couple! Guess the sex really was that damn good

the mystery’s of you two getting together spread throughout the school the rumors were hilarious to you. But it all became very obvious when that clown from 1A tried flirting with you before bakugou had even had a chance to react you had that rotten grape right where he belonged the damn trash can with a nice purple eye “Die! Pervert!” You joined bakugou sitting right next to him pursing you lips for a kiss

“That’s my Damn firecracker!” He kissed you

“So manly!”

“GET A ROOM Bakubro!”

((yay or nay?))

[kangen-wanshi]

Recorded Proposals ft. Trey Clover, Leona Kingscholar, Azul Ashengrotto

"I'm glad that that whole mess is done now.. Though I guess it's kind of a shame that I didn't get to actually propose to the bride, huh. I practiced a lot, too..!"

"Oh, don't worry, Prefect! I have all of your practice proposals recorded!"

".. What? Wait, Ortho what do you mean you have it recorded — Ortho- Hey!"

Tags: Separate, proposals and daydream and all the sweet stuff, no gendered pronouns used but reader is mentioned to be wearing make-up and such in Trey's

Trey Clover

"I know that you're no longer alive.. I know that we couldn't enjoy the joy of mortal entertainment and woes, but.. Even after death, I wish to always stay by your side and go through whatever there is ahead and build a bright future with you! So please.. Marry me!"

Trey got the video from Cater. One day the orangette sent him the video through DMs with just a wink emoji and some teasing about his crush on you and he just sort of accepts it with a light blush.

Trey watches that specific part over and over whenever he is about to go to bed (he refuses to watch it anywhere else). Your words stuck to him - whether it is because of the oddly sincere look in your eyes when you speak, or your beautiful attire, or perhaps your styled hair and make-up — He doesn't know why he's so addicted to it.

It became a sort of charm for him to have a good sleep (which sometimes involves having you in his dream). Your words rang and echoed through his mind when Trey finally shut his eyes and cuddled his blanket at night, ready to dream about you after a particularly long day.

Sometimes he likes to daydream that you were saying those words to him, as cringe as it sounds to his opinion. Trey always ended up a blushing mess with a lovesick grin on his face whenever that specific thought came up randomly throughout the day. He always hides himself with a hand over his mouth or his hat being pulled just a little lower. He's blushing? No. The weather probably just got a little warmer..

He's a sucker for anything that involves 'building a future together'. He's a big family man, he wishes to have his own family one day, preferably with you in the picture of course. As his partner. Domesticity is just sort of his thing at this point and he's not even denying it.

Maybe he should come clean to you.. Maybe you managed to spur out these specific words that tug on his heartstrings because you, too, want it for yourself. Perhaps in those silly proposals, you let out a small speck of your desire, which is why it seems so genuine in his eyes..

Either way he still acted normally around you. He would bring up the topic of the video and the proposals every now and then to tease you - without outing himself about the fact that he has a personal copy of it. 

Perhaps he'll invite you to bake more often. Perhaps he'll invite you to various normal 'dates' and activities together. You can study together.. You can watch movies together.. Oh hey look his hand found yours, did he just intertwine your fingers together? You don't mind if he stays there for a while.. Right?

Leona Kingscholar

"I know what other people may say. You and I are.. Different, in every aspect. Yet I couldn't help but be drawn to you. To your beauty, your flaws. The way you love and the way you hate.. All of it..! And I promise you, I'll love you through and through - no matter what people may say. No matter what you'll become. Will you.. Marry me?"

Not sure how he got the video.. Most likely asked Ruggie to get it for him in secret? He made a deal with Azul to get a copy? Who knows. He doesn't really care where he got it from - it's with him now.

Leona watches it in the middle of the night. He likes to snicker and chuckle at your other failed attempts. It's a.. Good pastime. When he feels particularly terrible after a day, he watches your silly acting trying to propose to a dead Princess as a way of entertainment.

He got attached to that specific line of your proposals without even realizing. Whenever he went to watch it, he would usually skip to that part specifically to hear you say those words again and again. Except this time he isn't laughing. Rather he looks quite intense listening to your words.

Why do you have to stare so intently at the camera..? It made the experience a little too realistic to his liking. Now he needs to deal with the hammering noises in his heart, heat that slowly pools on his cheek, and his tail which swish and flick around.. Darn Herbivore you're making his sleep a little more difficult this time and you're not even here with him!

Leona doesn't daydream, but some part of your words does strike a nerve in him. You said you'd love someone despite your differences and their flaws? What a coincidence. You and him have lots of flaws and you're pretty different from each other. Right? He just lets those words keep on repeating over and over in his mind whenever he feels like it.

Actually he listened to your voice so much in his head now that he couldn't handle not hearing your voice. Leona doesn't usually have his phone with him but Ruggie noticed that he's been carrying it with him a lot lately.. Even though Leona still doesn't answer any of his calls or texts. He brought them so he could listen to you when he knew that would have a particularly busy day. He even converted the video to mere audio so he can listen to it.

Leona is also another one who acted mostly normal around you. He doesn't really bring up the event - considering that he failed miserably himself with his proposal attempt, so he doesn't like bringing it up.

But you noticed that his stare has become.. Longer, and that his hold on you linger, followed by his tail which often would cling to you whenever you're within proximity. Hey, what did you mean by you'll love anyone despite your vast differences? Huh? What do you mean those were just fake proposals? Come on answer the question, he's listening. 

Azul Ashengrotto

"I've seen all of you. Your past, and your current self. And I don't doubt that you still have many many sides of you that are hidden from the world. Sides that you love- sides that you hate. I wish to love all of them, all of you - including your future. And.. Well there's no other way than to tie ourselves with love and marriage so that I may achieve this dream of mine.. Right?"

Either he got it from Idia who got it from Ortho, or he straight up asked Ortho, Azul will have his way to watch that video. A determined one, and everyone knows how Azul is when he wants something to be part of his possession. 

At first he keeps telling himself that this is for academic purposes. He failed his own proposal back then despite his careful calculation and thorough planning, he just.. he wants to know how you handle it since you're the charming Prefect of Ramshackle! Of course! You would be a great reference should anything similar like this arise in the future!

Azul clips every part that he deemed important (keeps telling himself that these are bookmarks for the highlight of your proposal but really these are just his favorite parts.) Which includes you giggling at yourself because of how stupid the proposal was, or you being utterly embarrassed because of what you said. He has them in short clips!

Although there is a clip which he finds himself constantly repeating. He found your words to be.. Comforting and flattering. At first he thought that maybe this is his ideal proposal. And then he nodded to himself before continuing his said research. And then he immediately snapped back and realized that Oh Sevens is this his ideal proposal?!

Azul finds the idea that you, perhaps, would be willing to love him no matter the amount of facades he has to put up for his business, to be extremely endearing and beneficial to him. He would have your affection, while he's still able to keep up with his Deals. Why would he hate the idea? If not, it made him want you even more than he already did. (Even though he knew these were probably just you sputtering some romantic nonsense to gain the Princess' heart.. He.. Likes to wish. He just hope he could fulfill this specific wish of his own now..)

Since then he couldn't watch the video seriously anymore. He would be blushing - not to that specific part but to literally every other proposal you practiced (although that has become his favorite).

Azul doesn't daydream. He wants things and he will have them. Including you.

He would become more bold in his advances. He keeps falling in love with you over and over whenever he watches or remembers the video - it's only fair that he should start making you fall for him over and over.

So, Prefect, Azul has this new business idea and it involves you.. Oh don't worry you'll gain plenty of benefit from it! Would you like to at least talk about it or consider it? You would? Brilliant! Meet him in the VIP room he already has everything prepared!.. What do you mean you saw a marriage contract on his table?

[reesespeanutbutterfuck]

(im)perfectionist

vinny hong x jo!reader

jay jo's imperfectionist sister meets the flawful vinny hong.

part 1

part 2

pairing: vinny hong x jo!fem!reader

warnings: SFW, fem!reader, gifted!reader, cursing, mentions of blood & violence, mentions/flashbacks to vinny's shitty childhood. jo!reader (jay is reader's 1 year older brother, but they're in the same class), physical descriptions (resemblance to jay, jay's mother, heavily implied asian features) intelligent!reader, female rage, implications of academic pressure, middle child trauma, second person's pov (you, you're, your), ANGSTY, lowkey self-indulgent, SPOILERS everywhere, includes momma bear vinny but then reader is also kind of a momma bear, reader is NOT yumi, but yumi still exists here. lmk if i forgot anyth

note: i can't stop tossing and turning while reading s4 lol this is how i cope. vinny pls come back now im bawling my eyes rn

—

None of the recontres you had with Vinny Hong in the entirety of your life was normal.

The first time you encountered him was when you accidentally bumped into him in a vulnerable state while walking home under a light rain shower after a tiring day volunteering at the hospital your parents were working in. The light pouring rain hit your umbrella with soft thuds as you were finding your way through the alley you accidentally passed by after taking an alternative route, but getting a little lost in the process.

You shuddered when you heard a groan. You immediately looked around and kept your guard up in case it was a kidnapper. But no, it sounded like one of pain. Stopping your tracks and pulling over your feet, you looked around the alley. Your eyes expectantly scanned until your eyes found the source of the grumbling noise. There he was, slumped against the wall.

I knew it, you thought. It was a man. How cliché. His head was bowed down so he couldn't see you. Let me guess, a high school boy was mobbed and injured somewhere and now is left to die in a dark alley to be found lifeless once the sun rises?

You scoffed. If only you had all the time in the world to be a delinquent, that will most likely be where you're meant for. These high school boys are wasting their lives when they unknowingly have the time to choose to be a better person. You discreetly envied how these kinds of people can still choose how they'll live their lives, regardless of presence of sense for separating actions between good and bad.

And so you walked past the alley.

Your steps slowed down as the man groaned again, this time followed by a rustle. A slight pang of guilt forming in the pit of your stomach. Damn it, this wasn't–

You reluctantly looked back to where the man sat. You've always sworn your life you wouldn't meddle in anything that wasn't your business. But for some reason, the guilt of having the ability to help but refusing to, drowned your fixed principle.

Just as you were having an inner banter with yourself, your feet made the decision for you instead and took you to him. You pushed the button on your umbrella to automatically close it, pointing the sharp end to the stranger. You weren't even sure if he's still alive because he suddenly quieted down after that last groan. Only the light from the nearest post gave you an unclear sight of the man and the fluff of his fiery red hair.

One of his hands fell limp on the floor while the other was covering his wound. It seemed like he's been in the same spot for minutes yet the distinct bright colour of fresh blood told you the injury happened not very a while ago. You weren't sure of how to approach him properly, so you lightly kicked his leg once, but he didn't respond. So you kicked him for the second time, this time, harder. Finally, he responded by quietly groaning in pain once again.

“Who… the hell… are you…?” He weakly questioned as looked up to squint and take in your face, but your figure was against the light from the lamp post, so your silhouette was the only thing he's capable of registering. Even when in pain, his voice still sounded atrocious. Like he's someone used to speaking to people harshly. Luckily, you weren't intimidated for a single bit. It'll take a lot more than harsh tones to drive you away. You've been there.

You fumbled inside your tote bag to search for your phone, “Who are you to ask?” When you got ahold of your phone, you turned the flashlight on and you got a clearer view of the blood oozing out of this stranger's side, staining his hand in the process. It looked like a stab wound, judging from the volume of the blood oozing out from the wound.

“As expected.” You raised your hand to point the sharp end of your umbrella to him once again. “I will help you. But if you attempt to do anything funny, I'll stab you on your other side, too.”

Your first option as was to call immediate professional help. As you tried to dial the hospital hotline to call an ambulance, your phone kept indicating there was no service. The signal's jammed. You almost threw your phone to the nearest wall out of frustration as you hit the side of it with your palm. You side-eyed the man behind you.

Shit. Now what? This kind of stab wound is fatal, especially because he already lost plenty of blood beforehand. It wouldn't bleed that much if the penetration wasn't deep. It might have even hit a vital spot. Calling for help now will be difficult because of this deserted alley and the continuous pour of the rain didn't help either, plus, your phone has no service.

“I don't need… your help!” he glared at your silhouette and cursed himself as he shut his eyes tightly while attempting to sit upright, enduring the excruciating pain on his side.

“You're quite obnoxious for a dying man.” You looked around to search for more resources. This is a closed alley. If you leave him here for another minute to find help, he might completely lose his consciousness, he was already limp in the first place. You were left with no choice. Your hand hesitantly reached to fumble around your bag once again until you got an OS, gauze pads and sterilized medical stitching needles.

Your mother would be furious if ever she finds out you stitched a stranger's wounds. You can only imagine her yelling, "Patients are not your playthings and the Medical field is not your playground! Who are you to perform Medical procedures? You're not even a Doctor yet!" Yeah, for sure Dra. Jo wouldn't be so pleased to find out her daughter's attempt to fix someone up. You kneeled and looked at the stranger. You needed to gain his trust as professionally as possible.

“I won't ask your name since you're clearly hard to talk to. I'm [Y/N]. I'm no Guardian angel of yours. I do light voluntary work in hospitals and I have current trainings on how to attend to emergency patients. But I'm still a high school student so I'm not yet licensed. Anyway, going to a hospital will always be the safest option, but I have knowledge about stitching wounds, at least. I'm going to temporarily stitch you up so you don't lose more blood, then we'll get you to a hospital once I find phone service.”

You surveyed his overall state, he looked very pale, although it's easy to tell that he's naturally pale, by losing a lot of blood, he's getting even paler each passing second. You were running out of time.

“Do you consent to this?” You asked him calmly through your glasses.

He breathed out heavily. You knew he was wary and reluctant. Which is understandable. But if it's not you, who else will do it? You heaved a sympathetic sigh. As you unemotionally tell him about the circumstances of his skepticality, that you well acknowledge.

“Hey, you might have a family member waiting for you at home. They would be devastated to just hear from the news that you were found dispatched and lifeless out here in the morning.” you looked around, left and right. Right now, you're the best chance he has if he wants to live. “I won't force your consent out. I haven't touched you anywhere yet and I wouldn't if you don't want me to, so I can just leave you here without me being a potential suspect of your murder. But you should probably think about the ones that didn't know their last sight of you alive was the last they'll get, ever.”

He looks at you for a few seconds while he grits his teeth, before he slowly, lightly nods. Shutting his eyes and removing his hand from covering the wound, implying that he had put his trust in you.

You checked his carotid pulse first. Just as you thought. Erratic and weakened. And then looked over to watch the shallow rise and fall of his shoulders. Shallow breathing. He definitely lost a high volume of blood already. You hastily started disinfecting everything—your hands, the tools, even the gloves. You checked his expression. You gave him a heads-up before lifting the side of his shirt to attend to the wound properly. You began working up and stitching the wound on his right side. You looked at his face once again that's being covered by the shade of the unfinished constructions caging the alley, while going through your first stitch.

“I'm sorry, this is the only option, for now. I'll find more professional help after this.”

He had no more energy left to open his mouth and reply. He grunts in pain while you were busy ushing the needle through-and-through. You asked him to bite down on a cloth while enduring the pain, since you didn't have anesthesia and he can feel every poke of the needle on his skin. You stitched him with precision with your skilled hands. Your hands were painted crimson red during the process.

This wouldn't be your first time stitching. You've done this a couple of times, but only to a simulator. You pulled yourself together as you kept in mind that a person's life is in your hands this time.

While you were focusing on the stitches, all the stranger can muster are croaky groans, as the pain of the wound and the stitches stung, so you tried to do it faster. When you were done, while wiping your blood-stained hands, you noticed how his chest was rising and falling rapidly as he was wincing in pain. He tried to look up at you again, but his sight of you was blurry.

“Don't worry, that'll be removed at once when you're taken to the hospital. What I did is only first aid, and you already lost a lot of blood so we still need to get you to the hospital as soon as possible.”

You pushed your knees to stand up and find phone signal, but before you can, his hand rose and reached for yours.

“No.” He clutched your hand to stop you. His hand was rough—and also large. You have large hands for a female, but his hand almost completely enveloped yours.

The side of your lips shifted downward while looking down at him. “When I said trust me, I only meant temporarily so I can temporarily close your wound. I didn't mean with all your life."

“Just no hospital.”

“You must really want to die.”

He gripped your hand tightly from the severe pain he's enduring. You know how much pain he's going through right now and he didn't mean to do so, so you let him squeeze your hand.

“I would rather die, than pay a hospital bill.” he weakly held on to you, falling completely unconscious as his head fell on your lap. You furrowed your brows and put his head into a more comfortable position.

Oh, so he was serious on dying?

You coming to his rescue definitely doesn't just end with a few stitches.

***

© reesespeanutbutterfuck 2023, don't forget to support your creators by reblogging !!!

always remember to put seeking professional help as top priority if you ever encounter this kinda scenario irl

[acourtofthought]

It seems that Elriels are coddling Elain too. Way too much.

Well- I see the stark difference between how Gwynriels treat Gwyn and Elriels treat Elain. While obviously they headcanon constantly of Azriel worshiping Gwyn and all that, they still acknowledge that they both aren't close now. That we'll first see them challange each other and that there's much to do before unlocking the level of trust. Although Gwynriel might be mates, there will be times in which they'll probably be cold to each other. It's a high possibility that Azriel will at least try to push her off, not wanting to share something personal about himself to someone he isn't even friends with. It's not bad, it should be part of their story. It's realistic that way. Gwynriels want an on page love story in which they want to see their relationship fully boom in one book.

But Elriels are convienced Azriel and Elain are in love. That Elain wants him and Azriel wants her despite what the bonus chapter says from Azriel's point of view. They're convienced that Azriel is basically a total simp for Elain, that he'd never even dare to underestimate and he already trusts her and so on... which is not canon. They explain Azriel's lack of feelings for her from the bonus chapter away. "Azriel hadn't thought of anything beyond fantasies cause he's scared of the future!" That wasn't included in his thought process. "Sexual attraction is normal" no one claims otherwise. "Azriel was willing to go on his knees for her" yes, to get the chance to taste her, not marry her. Attraction ≠ love. "If Azriel only wanted her for the mating bond, why would he go after a mated girl?" Azriel explained it himself: 3 brothers x 3 sisters. "4 books of build up" 4 books of suppose build up and he couldn't think of Elain as a person? And then they explain away the entire gwynriel half with the "Gwyn is evil" argument.

It's not just that, but they can't take the slightest inconvenience when it comes to Elain. You challange or insult her? You're evil. Oh, Elain looks uncomfortable? You're evil, even though you haven't done anything. You're telling the love of her life to stay away from her? You're evil. The love of her life is talking to you instead of her? You're evil.

I don't know how to explain it but it seems that Elain has no flaw and everything that is inconvenient in their eyes is evil. I don't ship Elriel, but if they were endgame, I'd at least want to see Elain get challanged or have some problems with Azriel (like what I had listed in for the Gwynriel part) or Elain herself having problems.

For example, Elain's friends. I don't see the wraiths ever challange Elain. The inner circle aren't pushing her either. They're just content with the soft and kind girl she is. And staying in the Night court for the rest of her life to be with her family? Idk about that...

But the BoE? Jurian and Vassa don't seem to be the coddling type at all. I can imagine Vassa coming off as mean to her and Jurian talking to her like everything is a joke to him and I can imagine Elain getting frustrated with that. They probably would challange her. Lucien would.

I guess they don't like that. Everyone has to be nice and friendly with Elain. That... isn't good for her growth.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that they don't care about Elain and are just self inserting. Their problem is that they love her and Elriel too much.

ALL the yeses. I'm going to copy and paste your different comments to address them: "It seems that Elriels are coddling Elain too. Way too much." Fully agree. Elain, in their eyes, needs protected from everything. She needs protected from Jurian because god forbid she be allowed to confront him face to face if she has a problem with something he said years ago (something she wasn't even around for), giving him the chance to explain how horrible he felt for making those comments but he needed Hybern to believe he hated the IC and giving her a chance to demonstrate empathy and undertanding. Elain in their eyes needs protected from Lucien and his looks that occur once every few months because she's too delicate to vocalize if it bothers her, that his presence bothers her. Elain in their eyes needs protected by Az and Nesta because there is absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that neither gave her credit for anything she did in the war. Not saving Az's life with the hounds, not for saving Briars life, Nesta's life, Cassian's life, for stopping the King. Honestly, they turn her into such a child it's concerning considering the very adult headcanons they have for when it comes to Az. And you're right, Gwynriels and Elucien's have no problem with Gwyn and Elain having it out with Az or Lucien. Two characters sitting around talking about surface level things suddenly declaring they're in love simply because Az gave Elain a dagger then listened to her talk about gardens leading to an almost makeout session after avoiding one another for a year is not even close to how Sarah writes her pairings. We want the real and the raw up front and that is when the characters can begin to fall, because that's when they'll have seen each other at their worst and will still want each other anyway.

"If Azriel only wanted her for the mating bond, why would he go after a mated girl?" This is how it all went. Az obsessed over Mor for centuries. Elain came into his life and he continued to obsess over Mor, with Rhys even saying he's been waiting for a mating bond to snap between them. He gave Elain TT and he continued to obsess over Mor. Mor continues rejecting Az and then one Solstice Elain gets Az a gift though that same evening he looked at Mor with heat and yearning. Mor heads to bed and Az ends up staying downstairs to listen to Elain talk about her gardens. Mor is then sent away to the continent for months at a time and suddenly Az does not have her to obsess over anymore so he turns his attention to Elain because she's there, she's single, she isn't paying attention to her mate, she got Az a gift last year and because his brothers are now getting paired off with two sisters. Az grows more jealous of his brothers being part of the "I got a sister" club while he was left out of having a mate so he naturally begins to wonder why it worked out that way? Why didn't he get the third sister when there were three of them and there are three brothers and Elain doesn't seem interested in Lucien? What if the mother was wrong because that math seems too perfect to Az. It's never been about Az having real feelings for Elain but of circumstance and his wondering why he didn't get what everyone around him got. First Mor's continued rejection of him, then Mor's absence from the NC, then of the realization that he got left out of what his brothers were given. I always thought the "Az questioned his religion for Elain!" statements were a bit strange. I'm agnostic but if you are religious....is it a good thing to be questioning your god / goddess / deity? I mean, yes, if that deity is written to be an asshole spreading hatred it would be a good thing but the Mother seems to be written as a positive force so Az questioning her seems to be a problem with Az losing his faith and learning to accept that the Mother knows better than him? That's kind of the theme of this book, isn't it? That the Mother is the guiding force of these characters and you shouldn't be pissy just because she didn't instantly give you the things others are getting? "I don't know how to explain it but it seems that Elain has no flaw and everything that is inconvenient in their eyes is evil." YES! You know a ship is problematic when all the good guys in this series are suddenly the bad guys simply because of their proximity to E/riel. Az shows admiration for Gwyn? She's EVIL! Elain might meet Jurian one day because he's her mate's friend who also lives with Vassa who Elain had a vision of? Jurian is VILE! Rhys prevented Az from using Elain like a sex doll when he couldn't even admit to thinking of a future with her or being over Mor? Rhys is an ASSHOLE for keeping two lovers apart (though I missed the memo on Elain having any actual feelings for Az). Lucien treats Elain with nothing but respect, allowing her to do whatever it is she wants with whoever she wants? Sarah should just KILL Lucien!!! Literally, every single character is suddenly an obstacle for E/riel. When has Sarah ever written something like that? Relationships that are meant to be are written so that the friends and family are supportive. Rhys had major issues with Nesta because of Feyre yet he still found a way to push Cassian and Nesta together. The fact that it's been books and the IC still has not brought out the best of Elain despite her attempts at fitting in just proves to me that she's not found her people. The clues the author has left us regarding the people Elain will most likely have a connection to in the future (Helion, Eris, Jurian, Vassa), will bring out the side of Elain that finally shows everyone why Sarah wanted to write a book about her.

[electraslight]

Gwen Tennyson is one of my favorite characters in anything ever but there's this pervasiveness in this fandom that shes. Well. A nice, good person. And I don't really like that, especially when shes absolved of her very clear faults to the detriment of other characters. Basically all of Gwen and Kevin's relationship is Gwen doing things to Kevin that, in a normal show, she would be made to apologize for, like rushing him into a relationship when he has made it clear he is not interested at that moment, trying to make him jealous and putting their whole team in danger (which is entirely put on bens shoulders and not hers), hitting him as a punchline for a joke when all Kevin's done is make a silly comment, calling him ugly, blah blah blah you get my point I've been over this a billion times. There are other characters who get the short stick too. In the episode where Elena pretends to be Julie and puts the alien trio under the impression that she ditched nationals to hang out with ben, sure as a friend you'd be worried, but Gwen keeps saying over and over that it's not like julie, she shouldn't put a boy over herself, telling her she made a bad decision, even when julie tells her no, I've made my decision, I don't want to talk about this. Gwen does not respect anyone's boundaries even people like Kevin, Julie, and Ben, who are supposed to be her friends. But people in the fandom characterize Gwen as sweet, kind, helpful, never in the wrong ever even when she is doing something horrible. Remember when people used to say that "Gwen didn't deserve kevin" not because of the constant belittling of his interests, lack of appreciation of his boundaries (see also: those scenes in Trade Off where Kevin repeatedly takes her hand off of him and she keeps trying to touch him anyway), and general nastiness, but because Kevin, who was at the time under the impression that Gwen was getting tired of him (wonder why he'd think that what with her calling him hideous every other episode) got groomed, assaulted, and enslaved. And that's his fault I guess because he's a guy and guys can't get abused. Gwevin is so good you guys the only problem is Kevin,the guy who left his entire support system to go live with his girlfriend, the guy who carries her bags and nonstop talks about how much he lives her when she can never muster up a word to say about him besides "He's nice" and "he's changed". Gwen is always in the right because shes a girl boss character who is not allowed to have flaws besides being stuck up or whatever, and it's totally OK if she needlessly suspects everyone around her and crosses the boundaries of basically everyone she talks to. Read me this: if you think female characters should be strong, why shouldn't you acknowledge Gwen's flaws? Why is it better to have a character who's kind, sweet, motherly, badass but only in ways that won't upstage the male main character, than an awkward, horrible teenage girl who loves people so strongly she strangles them, who's overly paranoid based on her own biases, who views her friends as projects she can fix, but God she is trying so hard. God, I'm begging you, please factor this in to your Gwen fanworks, I'm so tired of her being portrayed as a good person. Shes not a good person. Shes a 16 year old girl.

(Also sorry I talked so much about gwevin its just that Gwen isn't allowed to be her own person outside of men in this show)

[bitterduo]

STOP INFANTILIZING JAKE ENGLISH. STOP TREATING HIM LIKE HE IS FREE OF CONSEQUENCES.

Jake English is such an interesting character because the way he is written infuriates me (in a good way). I saw a particular text post saying basically that Jake English did nothing wrong and that Jane is an asshole for being upset at him. This is just… Wrong. I think a lot of people in general like to try and make Jake seem like he cannot do any wrong because he has neurodivergent traits and is heavily implied to be neurodivergent. This is not to say Jake was entirely in the wrong in some situations, but neither were his friends when they became upset at him. Because, guess what Tumblr, they are teenagers and teenagers are flawed as fuck.

The main thing I would like to talk about is the pages where Jane yells at Jake (starts at page 5521).

While obviously Jane’s passive aggressiveness did not help the situation whatsoever, she was very clearly upset at the fact that one of her only friends forgot about her birthday. After he realizes he forgot, he starts making up excuses. Obviously his forgetfulness is not his fault but I feel like Jane’s slight is definitely not unjustified.

Not to mention he doesn’t even say “happy birthday” to her once during the conversation and instead makes stupid quips and proceeds to dump his relationship problems onto her. Before then though, he goes on a huge ramble to try and avoid his problems (aka what he was initially going to talk about with Jane).

During his conversation with Jane where he should be moving on as he’s decided to, it’s obviously complete filler of a conversation where he repeated over and over how Jane is 16. He’s only talked to her about his issues for so long it’s obvious that he doesn’t know how to initiate in a normal conversation with her anymore. When she finally gives him the go ahead to say it (likely because she was tired of a nonsense filler conversation) he all too eagerly tells it as if he was just biding his time for when she’d let him speak. It’s an asshole move really.

Obviously communicating with your friends and being there for them when they are struggling is good, but whenever Jake seems to talk to Jane, it is only really about his problems. Not to mention, he never talks to the person he’s having issues with (majority of the time Dirk) and instead ghosts them for weeks on end.

Not to mention he’s the one to push her into the conversation.

If you actually read the conversation you will also notice that her messages become more sparse and short while Jake’s get longer while he rambles.

When Jake says “laying low” he means ignoring and avoiding Dirk’s attempts to actually try and talk. Not to mention he also insults Dirk by saying he is “needy” and that essentially saying he is tired of Dirk’s company.

And here we fucking are folks, the bread and fucking butter of this whole convo, the shit and jam. Saying that Dirk is annoying and that his “paranoid prophecy” (you know, the one about all of his friends hating him?) is going to come true, aka saying that he does hate Dirk and no longer even wants to interact with him. And guess what? Jake is not even trying to communicate with Dirk on the matter and is instead dumping all this shit ON THEIR FRIEND.

Anyways, let’s skip to when Jane starts getting upset.

In this scene, Jake is practically ignoring her until she basically begins screaming at him. Not to mention the two last messages from Jake are extremely dismissive and so incredibly un-self aware.

Again with his strange quips and being weirdly self deprecating and pity-ing towards himself.

You can very clearly tell she’s upset, reclaiming something she let be their thing but changing it to just hers. Instead of doing the rational thing which would be to apologize, continue this at a later date or ask what you can do to make it up, he focuses on the semantics of the phrase, trying to come up with a new one. This is very obvious that he’s avoiding the topic because he’s uncomfortable with the thought of facing these issues.

After that, on page 5528, she TELLS him the issue and proceeds to keep doing the thing that’s making her UPSET.

She then freaks out again and then Jake finally tries to do something smart by insisting that they talk about it tomorrow (something JANE insisted on EARLIER) and then when she gets more upset and Jake proceeds to basically Jane not to be upset (“Aw come on jane. be a sport.”)

TLDR; stop woobifying Jake English and acknowledge the fact that he also fucks up, just like his friends.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

How Relationships With Them Would Be: Pt 3

Let's finish this off because this post series has taken a long time to finish.

(*sigh* never mind. This will be in 2 parts because it's longer than I thought it'd be.)

Cater:

I mean.... he might be ok? But he seems to have a lot of issues going on with himself, so I'm unsure if he'd even be ready for a relationship. It would probably be a pretty stable relationship, though. Although, if you're one of those "I need silence or I will go fucking insane." people, probably won't work out.

MC: *trying to zone out because they need it*

Cater: MC! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED!

MC: *still trying to enjoy the silence*

Cater: MC! COME ON COME ON!

MC: Can I have some peace for a moment?

Cater: But you'll miss it if you don't come!

Probably a pretty good boyfriend for certain personalities.

Ace:

Fuck no. Have you not read the wiki thing where it says he literally ghosted his gf? I get that was in middle school, but this mans literally runs from commitment and will probably bully you because he thinks it's teasing.

Ace: Seriously? That's the grade you got?

MC: I tried my hardest! I'm not from this world, remember?!

Ace: But Grim got a better grade than you. Grim! How dumb do you have to be?

MC: *either raging or crying*

(I may have based this off a fic I read)

I hope you're good at teasing his back, otherwise y'all will never get along.

Deuce:

Maybe another good one? He seems to have gotten better with his anger, so that's something. He probably wouldn't leech off of you too much. I think his only problem is that he might not see the relationship as an actual relationship, y'know? He might just treat it like a normal friendship or something. Maybe once he's graduated, he'd be better with knowing how to deal with a relationship, but for now? Not so much. He might also honestly forget y'all are in a relationship. (this might just be a headcannon? Idk)

MC: We should give each other pet names!

Deuce: Why?

MC: Cause we're dating!

Deuce: *pauses to load* ....OH!.... Right.... yeah.... we are.

But honestly? Probably a pretty good boyfriend.

Jack:

Ok, now we're just getting good boyfriend material, wtf? But seriously, Jack is a family man, and he's good at keeping at his goals. He'd be perfect at keeping his significant other on track and keep them from procrastinating. He'd probably also help them keep in shape. I feel like his only flaw is he tends to either overestimate people's abilities or try to push his views onto others a little too much.

Jack: You have to keep going or else you'll get used to stopping right before you get the exercise you need!

MC: *literally sweating through their clothes and pretty much fucking dying* I NEED A BREAK!

Jack: Just keep going! It's fine!

As long as you're an overachiever and you're ok with your limits being pushed, I'd say he's good bf material.

It's been a while, so I hope I still made this ok. There were a lot more good boyfriends than I thought there'd be.

Oh well. I'll get the next part out at some point.

[ilikekidsshows]

À thing I find so disgusting about Ladynoir since season 4 is that the show pulled the real life abuse pattern that Chat Noir's "behavior issues" and "self-consciousness" were on the surface level 'solved' through Ladybug's awful treatment and disregard of him as a human being. Out of the sudden he's "fixed" (which then showed itself as false at the end of season 5) which is used to claim that she was perfect and blameless all along, when all that happens is that Adrien learned that he has to be quiet and obedient around Ladybug or else he'll face the consequences for it again because she's stressed and always takes it out on him for which he will then have to cuddle and absolve her of the blame again because heaven help us what would happen if he didn't.

Ladynoir is a very realistic happen of an abuser and a victim. Her every emotion and word is the law and he's always irrational and wrong and needs to bow to her whim and be perfect so she doesn't have to ever REALLY try. Like an abuser and victim. This is exactly what it resembles to a T.

If Adrien as Chat Noir stopped "acting out" around Ladybug, it's because she has made it clear as day that he'll face physical and emotional consequences for it. Her having the basic decency to not take pleasure from doing it and FINALLY having stopped doing it by default doesn't undo the the fact that he had to learn that she's not a save person to be around and he has to be as perfect and small and quiet as possible because she can apparently not help herself but hurt, neglect, and use him. Adrien had to learn by now that Ladybug views hurting him or someone else hurting him for the greater good as a justified sacrifice to make and a price she's willing enough to almost always pay if it serves a greater purpose.

Season 4 proved that there is hardly anything Marinette would ever spare Chat Noir from since that is second nature for her in their dynamic and she prioritizes him understanding that she isn't ill-intentioned above working on herself to stop hurting him in the first place. That's a classic uncomfortable-abuser priority whne the abuser doesn't know how to not hurt the victim so they rather want to make sure the victim acceptes the bad treatment. It is inherently a selfish approach and Marinette is doing that with Chat Noir. She wants him around and what price he has to pay for that is hardly of any relevance to her.

It doesn't matter that Ladybug finally stopped being violent on main now that she didn't had anyone else besides her, she has already teached him and justified it how much she's willing to do to him. It isn't a question of "would Ladybug hurt Chat Noir?" because the answer is yes. The question is rather, when will she justify doing it again as she did before? As we already saw in Derision. Where Marinette's first instinct for her plan was to risk hurting and humiliating Chat again and it ended with him apologizing for not having controlled his emotions, but she tells him to as good as THANK her for having made him her target again because she says that's what they have partners for and she was KIND for doing that to him. So HE accepted his behavior was wrong, but SHE declared herself as flawless and generous again. No self-awareness whatsoever, she learned less than nothing or at least wants him to keep thinking that her behavior is good and gratitude-worthy so she can make herself out to be the kind und understanding person for "forgiving" him for being the flawed one of the two of them.

It's a realistic abusive relationship with Marinette as abuser. Not all abuse is done with malicious-intentions. It's abuse 101 that you can unintentionally abuse a loved one but I guess acknowledging that not-evil girls are normal humans and can therefore be abusive too is not "feminist" enough for the show.

If Chat Noir isn't talking back anymore it's because Ladybug has proven how badly she takes being talked back to and that she can only be talked to in soft compliments or else he will face a consequence for 'stressing' her again. No matter if it's just her ignoring him and talking over him again like in Perfection, actually screaming or hitting, being "accidentally" dehumanized and publicly humiliated by her again, or plain and simply having to suck up to her again to make sure him not agreeing with her isn't making her spiral which affects her hero performance and will cause him to having to suck up to her even more.

If Adrien isn't asking for anything again it's because Ladybug teached him how unsave she is to ask and expect anything off. Her feeling sorry and not intentionally hurting him doesn't undo the harm. Ladybug isn't safe to rely on so Adrien stopped doing it in season 5 all together because of how the Ladynoir conflict was handled in season 4.

No one is unable to be toxic and abusive under bad circumstances. That's normal. Circumstances explain but don't excuse or undo the harm. Funny how the show and Marinette fans understand that whne it's to HER benefit, but the moment it's about Marinette's flaws they pretend like they've never heard of that concept before.

I'm upset with canon Ladynoir because, yeah, it can definitely still be saved, but that requires accountability and effort from Marinette to stop only caring about Chat not ever being upset with her. Cause that only reinforces the toxic/ abusive cycle that teaches him awful lessons, puts his life and well-being at risk and leaves him isolated in case he needs help (as it all happened in the end) which she only tolerates because she is the one benefiting from it. That not justice, that's self-righteousness and extremely selfish.

---

I’ve said this before and it bears repeating; the writers made a grave mistake when they made Marinette directly benefit from Adrien being an abuse victim. Because Marinette benefits from Adrien's trauma responses, and she's the type of person who presses any advantage she has, she has outright taken advantage of the way Cat Noir reacts to things to win arguments and get her way. She has seen that he doesn't value himself and has done nothing with this info but take advantage to get away with her toxic behavior. She is extremely toxic.

Because Adrien came to her preabused, he won't question how she treats him too much and will always stop pressing back against her after she makes it clear she doesn't want to budge once. Adrien is used to unreasonable people who won't consider his perspective, so Marinette never has to take him into account and so she makes no effort to do so. Even if Adrien wasn't an abuse victim, she'd be a jerk for thinking hiding a third permanent team member from him was okay, never mind the increased frequency and violence in any physical admonishments directed at her supposed trusted partner.

This is also one the root causes of the abuse apologia in the show and fandom. A  lot of people are uncomfortable with the idea that our beloved protagonist is abusive, or even “just” toxic. They’ve been rooting for her for years, waiting for her to improve on the things that made her similar to the villain of the show. But now the show has made it clear that, no, actually, she won’t improve, because the girlboss fantasy is built on Adrien being abused into submission so that Marinette never has to be uncomfortable or do anything in a relationship that isn’t strictly to her benefit, be it a friendship or a romance.

The main character of Miraculous, and the main relationship in Miraculous, both hinge on people just ignoring the fact that Marinette is acting extremely toxic. Because, if people acknowledge that, it’s apparent that this show is saying some messed up stuff about abuse and that the main heroine and main couple should absolutely not be rooted for. And that’s why even people who think Marinette’s actions are toxic, aren’t ready to say she is toxic. They have to make Marinette’s actions a separate entity from her, despite said actions being the very core of the Ladybug/Cat Noir relationship in the retool seasons. Marinette “has good intentions” and they’re invested in her story and the idea that said investment might be underserved is just hard to come to grips with.

[the-lean-buddha]

My thoughts on the news about The Long Walk's film adaption

I have very little faith that The Long Walk will be a good adaption but maybe I'll be wrong! I can dream, and I've been wrong before. Here are my thoughts on the casting announcements and set pictures.

Cooper Hoffman and David Jonsson are the leads, according to Deadline, which means they're presumably Garraty and McVries. Jonsson seems like a good actor but an awful fit for either character, and with Hoffman (presumably Garraty) it comes down to how good an actor he is, I guess, because I can see it working if I squint but I haven't seen anything from Hoffman to suggest he can do Garraty. And I reaaaaally doubt he could do McVries. McVries has a bite to him.

Joshua Odjick is Native American so he's presumably Joe or Mike (not to say that a different character couldn't theoretically be Native American in the adaption, but it's key to Joe and Mike that none of the other Walkers understand their culture at all, and only Baker defends their parents). It's odd that either of those two would have a prominent enough role to be cast already, so I wonder if either one of their roles is beefed up, or if Mike and Scramm will be a composite character and Joe won't feature at all. Alternatively, Odjick isn't playing a Native American character (or he is but Mike and Joe are adapted out), in which case I'd guess Parker.

Roman Griffin Davis is someone I've only ever seen in Jojo Rabbit so I don't know how much range he has. I think he'd fit best as Barkovitch but I wouldn't be surprised if he's been cast as Baker or Olson.

Charlie Plummer is Stebbins. I say this almost entirely because he's a long-haired blonde. If McVries is black then book descriptions (and characterizations, let's be honest, you can't make McVries a black kid in the 70s and keep his character the same) are thrown out the door already, but google Charlie Plummer and tell me he's not been cast as Stebbins. Also, take a look at this.

Ben Wang is Asian American and there are no explicitly Asian American characters, so we've gotta guess this one purely on Vibes (Olson and Barkovitch could both be canonically Asian American, but Barkovitch is openly racist, so). From Wang's YouTube channel and some clips of Chinese Born American I found, he's a nice and playful guy (hmu Ben let's get a lemonade, also tell me who you're playing), so I'd assume Baker or Olson or Abraham because they fit that the closest, I guess? But this is unfortunately a flawed way of guessing because actors playing lunatics are sometimes normal people in real life, walking among us, going almost undetected.

Tut Nyuot's a young, sweet-looking kid. I'd assume Percy? Again, weird to cast Percy already because he doesn't even have any lines in the book, but I can't imagine Nyuout playing a character who's supposed to be the same age as Charlie Plummer's character. Maybe he's unexpectedly good at playing deranged assholes like Barkovitch? We'll see.

For Garrett Wareing I'd say Olson, looking through clips and interviews.

Jordan Gonzalez gives me no strong impression. Sorry, Jordan. Feel free to give me a stronger one over lemonade (and tell me who you're playing). If I'm held at gunpoint then I'll say Abraham.

Mark Hamill is presumably playing the Major. He's absolutely not who I would have picked because he overflows with character and I always pictured the Major as a stoic, empty Big Brother type figure, whose moments of charisma and friendliness were obviously just an act. And I guess Hamill could play that, but I think the Major will more likely have a lot more personality and vim and vigor in the movie, if Hamill was cast - he's easily the biggest draw in the cast. Not necessarily a bad way to portray the Major, but easier to mess up. We'll wait and see.

Judy Greer as presumably Mrs. Garraty will presumably be fine.

Set photos look promising, aesthetically. No half-track, though. And there's a tank. Why is there a tank?

There's a Deadline article suggesting that there are only 50 kids and the pace limit is 3mph. But there's also an article suggesting it's still 100 kids so it might be a mistake? If it's 50 kids then that's presumably done for practicality but it's a bad change, the number will either get too low too fast or it'll drop too slowly (and also no 47 and 61 which would be weird but that's not significant). 3mph isn't necessarily bad, it's more feasible, but it does mean the "first into Massachusetts in seventeen years" can't happen. Maybe they'll make New Hampshire the record instead.

i want lemonade

Reblog with your thoughts! We've got news, people, and I'm sure someone somewhere is more excited about that than I am. Let's get some discussion going on in here.

[dreamyrat]

now that i’ve written about sappy functional middle aged labru i’m thinking about more realistic and sad scenarios…

kabru who gets married young and has children because HEAR ME OUT he believes it makes him more trustworthy than being a bachelor… not quite aware of why he feels the need to appear as normal as possible around others and encouraging laios to do the same… continuing to be unaware of his feelings for laios, writing it off as purely sexual and therefore easy to deny and ignore, despite the fact that he’s closer to laios than anyone.

laios never marrying because the idea of disrupting the status quo is uncomfortable, since he just got used to being king and kabru’s family. also fundamentally disagreeing with kabru’s opinion on needing to get married just for the sake of others, by extension never having to confront his attraction to kabru, even being afraid to get near it mentally. thinking that his jealousy and insecurity stems purely from the threat of losing his closest friend and confidant, DEFINITELY no other reason.

I think kabru would marry a working class woman rather than nobility because they can relate to each other better, the idea they both have to serve people in some capacity, and all the turmoil and triumph that comes with that. I imagine kabru performing the role of doting father and husband very well. his wife loves how attentive he is and how he notices things about her no one else ever has. he’s patient but stern with the kids and earnestly connects with them. until he ultimately burns out and his wife realizes he can’t be honest with her, despite years of trying to get him to open up. up until that point his romantic relationships had all been fun and non committal, and she took pride in the fact she made him want to settle. she never could fully explain what was off about their relationship, because he really was very kind and loving, until she realizes how deeply kabru has repressed his emotions and cant help but question everything and feel she fundamentally misunderstood kabru as a person…

maybe a near death experience with laios triggers it, and kabru’s unable to take care of himself completely, he can’t mask his fear and neurosis and rage anymore, he can’t eat or sleep until he’s okay. he throws himself into his work and refuses to acknowledge that he is struggling when she asks him about it. her realizing that despite kabru’s best efforts to love her and care for her, his relationship with laios is more emotionally intimate than theirs, will always be what drives him and centers him, and she shouldn’t have to compete with that… she obviously mourns what she thought their marriage was, and can’t help but feel betrayed, but overtime starts to feel a deep empathy for him.

I guess I want to explore how kabru’s social dexterity has the potential to be just as destructive as laios’ social ignorance… even though they both have the best intentions and care about others.

when his wife divorces him, he is forced to be honest with laios about why she left, and he has immense guilt over not being able to love her correctly, about being fundamentally flawed and strange, the child that was raised to be a perfect doll, the monster kid no one wanted to play with, how his efforts to compensate for his innate wrongness blew up in his face anyway, which obviously laios can relate to better than anyone.

I think they would dance around each other after that, both now fully aware of the attraction but being so practiced in the art of denial they dont know what to do. It just feels so good to have it out in the open, they forgot that they can actually do something about it. Also kabru feeling like he shouldn’t be allowed to indulge after causing so much pain.

when they finally do get together, it’s surprisingly shy and chaste at first, like they are scared to face the depth of their desire and the years they wasted. it’s slow until it’s not, and everything bubbles to the surface, and they have mind blowing autistic sex. lol.

as for his children i think laios always really liked them as their weird uncle and since he has no heirs, he’d leave his kingdom to them. I’m not sure if kabru’s ex wife would be able to have a relationship with kabru after they get together, but maybe… maybe they could be friends.

[galene-gothic]

𝖡𝖺𝗋𝖻𝗂𝖾

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ��� 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

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꒰ Connecting with your inner child ꒱

Mentally, you were not doing very well as a child. You were raised in a way where your family or caregivers made you feel like it was alright for you to be mistreated. Due to how you were treated at home, people treating you unfairly in other environments, such as, school, etc. felt very normal to you, ofcourse, it hurt you but you knew that your family would not have your back so you had to stay quiet about it. You chose to live in a lie, you were in denial of your parent or whoever raised you being a bad person. You idolised them throughout your childhood and let them get away with everything. They didn't even apologise when they hurt you, they didn't take accountability for their actions, they made you feel like everything was your fault. When you made a mistake, even if it was a tiny one, you were heavily criticised. For most of you, you were even called names, names that no one should call anyone and especially not their children. You were extremely critical of yourself, this is heartbreaking. You likely grew up in an environment where, people were hypocritical, for example, your parents are both alcoholics who curse a lot and are abusive (this is a similar situation to most of you) but they expected you to be nice, gentle and you were not allowed to make mistakes. I'm crying, I cannot deal with how heavy this energy is. Your childhood was so lonely but you chose to blind yourself to that by idealising it.

Your family members might have used you to lie to others, lied on your name, etc. and you were a child, twisted the story whenever you tried to stand up for yourself, etc. Some of you had a single parent, divorced parents or just problematic parents which caused you to be exposed to alcohol, sex, jails, etc. quite early on in life. Physically, you were a good kid. You wanted to get good grades, have a good reputation and you worked hard on it. However, it was not a natural wish, it was forced upon you so that you could gain your parents approval. You were not loved even when you achieved things but you kept on pushing. Your parents might have told you things like "you need to work hard so that you can clear ___ exams and then become a successful government servant/doctor,etc." and you heard it so much that you naturally thought that your parents would only love you after you achieved that milestone. You enjoyed it because that was the only way you could possibly have hope for the future. You were so young but you still tried to have routines, etc. Honestly, you were the parent here. You were working hard so that you can provide for them in the future and you were just 9 years of age at that time. You were considered to be a gifted kid or a trophy kid and you enjoyed that validation because you were denied of basic emotional nourishment, validation and affection that a kid should receive.

No one could've guessed that you were struggling because not even you were aware, you seemed to be doing really well physically, achieving your goals and looked happy while doing so but you felt empty on the inside. You were critical of yourself, including your appearance and picked out every flaw of your body. Emotionally, you had issues at school too. Even though, on the surface you seemed very confident, that confidence was solely reliant on the validation that you would receive for accomplishing something. Your parents seem to have been very serious about your future, they probably enrolled you into a good school where kids with rich parents also used to go and you felt really inferior to them. You became emotionally reactive and immature as the years progressed because you were just a kid who didn't have their needs met. No matter how hard you worked, you felt like you were an underachiever. This makes me sad, I'm getting the vision of a kindergarten student receiving silent treatment from all the other students around them and then going home, studying, probably taking care of a younger sibling and having the mother come home and beat the child over a small disagreement at dinner. You deserved better, you really did. You deserve all the love in the world. Please take good care of yourself. Physical or emotional abuse and neglect seem to be a theme here.

꒰ How did your inner child imagine your teenage and young adult self to be like ? ꒱

'You can be anything' is the slogan of Barbie and as a kid, there are so many possibilities, we're more imaginative than ever. We imagine what our teenage and early adult days will look like. We'll look at who they (your inner child) wanted to be, how they envisioned your teenage and young adult self and days to look like.

Your inner child expected you to have romantic experiences. They imagined that you'd have a crush on someone and receive proposals. They imagined you as someone who had beauty and style on their mind, almost 24/7. They imagined you wanting to buy make-up products, clothes, bags, etc. and actually receiving them. They imagined you as someone who could do something artistic like play instruments, dance or draw. They imagined you as someone who is caring and has a gentle attitude. They imagined love letters, friends and just a lot of emotional involvement. They imagined you being able to physically cry to a friend or a lover who will actually listen to you. They imagined you feeling content in life and gaining a lot of wisdom. They imagined you being able to let go of anything that has ever hurt you. They imagined you living a life full of hope. They imagined you feeling loved, happy, going to bed after having a good time with friends or partner and tired after such a fun day and wanting to wake up every morning. They imagined you having a lot of passionate experiences and knowing how to let go of anything that makes you feel stuck. They imagined you to look to your past and life lessons to help you gain clarity. They imagined you as someone extremely successful too. "I'll have my life figured out by the age of 18." They imagined you as being composed, forgiving and decisive. They imagined you kind of making a change or something. Maybe, just being a good influence and having a good character. They imagined you having a lot of experiences and learning from them. Knowing how to live life. They imagined you being able to release past guilt and grief, they imagined you having a healing group environment. They imagined a 'happy ever after'.

꒰ What kind of a Barbie have you become ? ꒱

The kind of Barbie that you've become is kind of reckless. You've become kind of impatient too. You've become very cautious of things and end up projecting a foolish or immature image in order to be underestimated so that people don't try to get between you and your goals. You are kind of a thrill chaser as a Barbie but it's because now, you understand that you are more than just the expectations placed upon you. You've become a Barbie who can sometimes be overly optimistic. Your Barbie's name would likely be something like 'create your own identity Barbie' or 'self love/respect Barbie'. However, you're also a Barbie who's accepting themself or has already accepted themself. I think you're going through some sort of a reality check just like Barbie did or you've already undergone it. You've become the cycle breaker Barbie of your family. You're an independent Barbie. You're a Barbie who's focused on shadow work and healing. You've grown to be extremely courageous and are little by little, letting go of the limiting beliefs placed upon you. You're a Barbie who breaks past the identity that others had made for you to fit into. You have a focused mind and have self respect. You are a self controlled individual and try to be as accountable as humanly possible. You're a truly lovely Barbie.

꒰ Messages from your inner Barbie ꒱

"Always take time to be grateful for yourself, your body, your heart, your life. Fill your cup first and this will extend outwards."

"Be so graceful and beautiful, inside out that everyone's eyes will be on you and they'll see you as an inspiration."

"Reconsider."

"Ask yourself if the highest version of you would do that."

"Participating will help you learn better."

"You deserve everything good and divine."

"Your actions and priorities should align with your needs and desires."

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꒰ Connecting with your inner child ꒱

I think for most of you, a male figure really affected your mindset as a child especially. You used to think about this man a lot, maybe it's your father or grandfather. They taught you a lot about power and social status. They might have told you things like "be friends with this kind of people, don't be friends with this kind of people." This man was definitely very ambitious though. However, your mental well-being as a child seems pretty good. Situations at home seemed to be under control, nothing for you to worry about. You really respected this man though. They made you feel safe and protected. They taught you a lot about discipline. Mentally, you were able to grow and flourish because of the environment. You were pretty logical, even as a child. You set out goals for yourself that you wanted to achieve, even if it was something as simple as "I want to be able to take a bath by myself." You learnt how to be firm and decisive. Either, you were a single child or just not willing to share your things, food, snacks, toys, etc. Did you come from a wealthy family? You might have been kind of a show off as a kid, no shame ofcourse, you were a literal child. You were physically and materially taken care of though. You knew how to flatter your parents in order to get what you want and often, you did not even have to flatter them, they just wanted to give everything you wanted. However, sometimes you had to do things by yourself or you actually wanted to? You wanted to be self reliant or were forced to be.

Your parents might have been really busy or even away from home, your needs were taken care of but there were times when you felt lonely. However, because of the support of your parents, you dealt with it pretty well. For the rest of you, you might have had major issues emotionally, I heard 'seperation anxiety'. Maybe, because you were a rich kid who used to show off your wealth, others used to leave you out or tell you hurtful things and you'd be really sad about it. Some of you likely struggled with insomnia quite early on in life. You might've witnessed a death or a loss of a loved one quite early on too, before that you might've been really happy but temporarily, you were really hurt and sad. Oh, also a financial downfall might've occured. There were also some family feuds, I think it could be over inheritance or money. You felt quite bored though, like you had money but it failed to entertain you. Maybe, whoever this male figure was, had to move away and you were left feeling really anxious. You could've been quite cold and for most of you nepotism or connections did help you. As, you were a child, your decisions were definitely influenced by others. You might've been mean to others too. Emotionally, you started being more comfortable as you continued growing. You felt quite excited about life and started being more optimistic. You were inspired by the people you watched to become successful and happy. You were excited about possibilities and were passionate about almost everything.

꒰ How did your inner child imagine your teenage and young adult self to be like ? ꒱

'You can be anything' is the slogan of Barbie and as a kid, there are so many possibilities, we're more imaginative than ever. We imagine what our teenage and early adult days will look like. We'll look at who they (your inner child) wanted to be, how they envisioned your teenage and young adult self and days to look like.

They imagined you starting over. They imagined you confessing all the bad things you've done and being able to move on. Did you watch a lot of shows like 'mean girls'? They imagined you being kind of two faced. They imagined you facing a lot of betrayals. They imagined you not being able to trust people easily and letting people into your life only if they deserve it. They imagined you watching what you'd say to others, it's because you've been taught to care about reputation. They imagined you hearing rumours and gossip about yourself and going "and I was like, why are you so obsessed with me?" They imagined you taking responsibility for your own actions and apologising to those who you've wronged. They imagined you having your life together, and being able to take care of yourself and responsibility over your finances. They imagined you treating everyone equally and with respect. They imagined you sharing your wealth with others (charity, etc.) They imagined you being grateful for what you have. They imagined you having others try to help you financially too. They imagined you as someone generous and compassionate. They imagined you being at peace with yourself and being able to reciprocate others' love and affection. They imagined you being really kind and taking care of others out of goodwill. They imagined your life being extremely dramatic. They imagined people being exposed and you having to remove them. They also imagined you making assertive decisions and being able to see things clear. They imagined you being open-minded and taking time out to sort out your feelings and confusion. They imagined you knowing and setting your boundaries. They imagined you being able to be really calm about decision making. They imagined you having a purpose, a direction in life and going after that. They imagined having to let go of a lot of emotional ties and you being calm despite all of it.

꒰ What kind of a Barbie have you become ? ꒱

Mentally, you have a lot of thoughts racing which cause you to lack balance. Your thoughts don't seem to be organised. You tend to be overwhelmed quite quickly and are prone to impulsive behaviour. Your time management skills seem to be lacking too. Maybe, you're burnt out and really need a time out. You seem to be quite abundant financially or will be. You're quite confident and boastful too. You know how to value yourself and take good care of yourself, physically. You are grateful for everything that you've achieved so far. You seem to be quite content and satisfied, especially financially or achievement wise. You seem to have success in all areas and might be quite popular among others. Your wishes seem to be fulfilled and even emotionally, you're quite happy. You are an entertaining person and have entertaining people around you. Whenever, you're feeling sad, you always find something or someone to be grateful for, to be happy about. Emotionally, you've grown to be accepting of loss and change. You might be adjusting to a different way of living life. You have a lot of hope for a fresh start and are healing as a person. You've let go of the past and don't let it affect your present, any longer. You're resilient, and know how to overcome your problems and rise to the top. You know how to learn from the past, even though you might've struggled with complete ruin at some point. I wonder what your Barbie would be named 'learnt her lessons Barbie' or something along those lines.

꒰ Messages from your inner Barbie ꒱

"Don't take action just for the sake of taking action."

"Maybe you expected a lot because you were willing to do that for them."

"The grass is greener where you water it."

"Be honest with yourself."

"Don't worry about things that will never happen."

"Happy heart, private life, peaceful life, abundant pockets."

"Dopamine detox is important for you, having a phone addiction will not help."

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Connecting with your inner child ꒱

Mentally, you were suffering. You might've been a child who worried a lot. You felt lost and might have even had anxiety that might've not been diagnosed. You felt like none of your wishes came true and used to have moments when you used to lose hope. "I used to pray everyday but my life just kept on getting worser." You were a child so ofcourse you didn't know yourself but the loss of purpose that you felt made you feel miserable. There were events and occurrences that led you to feel insecure about yourself. People used to have unrealistic expectations of you and when you failed to match up to them, you felt awful, they made you feel like it was your fault. You might've spent your childhood in a very monotonous manner, go to school, come home, study during holidays and go back to school again. At that time, the only thing that kept you going was the blind faith that things would eventually be alright. Some of you used to have suicidal thoughts, some of you used to wish that you never woke up. You are really courageous. You might've had to travel sometimes but it was still kind of monotonous

You were just going to the same place again and again, every vacation, just rotting in a house at that place. You were very restless physically, while some of you took up sports or something like that, some of you used to just walk around a lot, could not sit in one place for a long time. This is actually truly depressing, you used to wait for things that you never received, the help that you never received. Emotionally, you repressed a lot of trauma. You used to be really guarded as a child, so, I'm not getting what exactly happened. You used to be very forgiving though. Any expression of pain and anger caused you to undergo even more pain and sadness so you naturally started suppressing all of it. You kind of stayed stuck to those heartbreaks and suffering, you've just internalised and kind of saved all of it. It's like, you saved something to a private file but forgot the password and it turned out to have a deadly virus. You've always let go and forgiven but it took a toll on you mentally and emotionally especially since, it resurfaces as you continue growing. I think inner child healing is extremely essential for you.

꒰ How did your inner child imagine your teenage and young adult self to be like ? ꒱

'You can be anything' is the slogan of Barbie and as a kid, there are so many possibilities, we're more imaginative than ever. We imagine what our teenage and early adult days will look like. We'll look at who they (your inner child) wanted to be, how they envisioned your teenage and young adult self and days to look like.

BLAIR WALDORF !! They imagined you as being kind of selfish. "You need to be cold to be queen, forget boys, keep your eyes on the prize, Jenny Humphrey. You cannot make people love you but you can make them fear you." They imagined you partying and stuff. They imagined you as someone who respects themself. You might've sometimes fantasized about hitting people who tried to mess with you on the nose. They imagined you as someone quite courageous, someone who runs after their goals. They imagined you accomplishing things after things. They imagined you having a dramatic life though, heartbreaks, mental illnesses, etc. They imagined you undergoing life changing events and gaining morals. They imagined you as someone really loving and compassionate too, when needed. They imagined you having a lot of inner strength and being able to overcome self doubt. They imagined you as someone with a strong sense of responsibility. Even as a kid, you were aware of the demons inside, you imagined being able to tame them through your experiences in life. They imagined you always winning. They imagined you receiving romantic proposals. Being invited to lunch, parties, etc. They imagined you following your heart and being really chivalrous. They imagined you being quite sensitive emotionally and also graceful in everything you do. They imagined you being swept off your feet and having a lot of warmth in your life. They imagined you meeting people who you're attracted to, etc. They imagined you having an active imagination, and using your charms and emotions in order to attract partners. Maybe, your inner child is in love with the idea of love. They imagined surprising and exciting events occurring in your life. They imagined you exploring your passions. They imagined you having a good nature and falling in love with people with a good character.

꒰ What kind of a Barbie have you become ? ꒱

'Never gives up Barbie' that's what most of you have become. You guys have a poor work ethic and no motivation or discipline. You should try to set out goals for yourself. You also struggle with teamwork and might be going through a rough patch currently. I'm getting loneliness and misalignment here. You want to grow but do not have the commitment to. You have been left out quite a lot and might be used by others. I think that this is not your true essence, you're just going through a really rough patch and have been in this energy for so long that, you aren't sure about who you are. Some of you are very young so naturally have not started working on yourself, yet and most of you come from a place where most people never tap into their full potential. You come from a place where if you are trying to get better people get offended, like, "who do you think you are?" You kind of let others take advantage of you. Shining bright means receiving hate and hate scares you. If not, atleast, you tend to be overwhelmed by other people's opinions. You seem to have a history of having gotten ganged up against and it's so scary to you. People who see your potential and see you rising, try to intimidate you. I think you are working on building stronger boundaries though, at this point. You might've or still struggle with people pleasing tendencies, so, you tend to compromise a lot for people who do not deserve it. Most of you are burnt out too, maybe, you worked so hard in school or whatever for your entire life but now you just cannot find yourself being able to do anything anymore. This is changing though, you are changing emotionally and it will start to affect the way you act too. You're shedding your old skin right now, most of you are done with being in the sidelines, you wish to be a winner. One thing about you is that you never give up. You're constantly evolving yourself and pretty much being born again. You are going through a hard ending that is starting to feel easier now that you can see it as a new beginning. Take care, rooting for you !!

꒰ Messages from your inner Barbie ꒱

"Not sacrificing will sometimes be your biggest sacrifice."

"Be afraid not of going slow but of standing still."

"Negatives count."

"Slow progress is still progress."

"It's never too late to start."

"If grief is the price of love, tears should be your only proof."

"Maybe, you expected a lot from them because you were willing to do the same for them."