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katierosefun · 4 years

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author interview tag game

thank you for the tag, @pandora15! <3

Name: caroline

Fandoms: mostly the clone wars, but i also have some marvel stuff, and waaay back in the day, i wrote some doctor who and merlin stuff!

Where you post: primarily on ao3! i mostly just write on tumblr when i’m accepting prompts from like...ask games or something.

Most Popular Oneshot: real

Most Popular Multichap: to these memories (this fic only recently hit 1k kudos, and my heart?? w h a t)

Favorite Story You’ve Written: def. to these memories because a) longest fic i’ve ever written, and b) oh, the hours i logged into writing this fic, and c) oh, the outlining that went into this fic...i’m very proud of myself for completing the fic, and of course, i credit this to everyone who showed their lovely support for the story. :’)

Fic You Were Nervous to Post: uhhh definitely too far just because it’s...rather personal. i sometimes say that there’ll be a scene or two or just straight up a line or two that’s plucked out of my real life, and i think it’s inevitable for writers of any kind, including fic writers, to isolate their real lives completely from whatever they’re writing, and?? this fic is probably the most personal for me because of that. i remember kinda hem-hawwing about posting it, because i was like whoa, maybe this is a little too personal? but then i steeled myself and was like, “okay, well, would this have lifted my spirits when i needed a story like this??” and then decided to post it.

How you choose your titles: i def. toss and turn between titles! there’s a few fics of mine that are straight-up song lyrics (no surprise there), but to my surprise (as i was looking through my catalogue of fics just now), i realize that a lot of my fics are usually just words or two about what i think might have been extremely important to the story. (or captures the overall tone/theme of the story, anyways.)

Do you outline? for multi-chapter fics and relatively long one-shots with lots of moving parts, i’ll outline. but for shorter one-shots and prompts, i’ll usually just stick with the image that compelled me to write the prompt/one-shot in the first place! (and then kinda write around that.)

Complete: uhhhhh, i’m gonna answer relatively for all my clone wars fics, because in total, i have 74 completed fics. (make that...75, hopefully in a few minutes or hours!) but out of clone wars fics, i have 46 completed fics! (and again, hopefully 47 in a little while.) a part of me is lowkey hoping that i’ll get up to 100 total fics by the end of this year. a part of me highly doubts it, but given how much i was able to write over summer break, i’m...intruiged if i wind up somehow writing another twenty or so fics by the end of this year. (asfsf my wip list is long enough to fill in for another twenty fics. caroline finish all your wips challenge.)

In Progress: okay, so officially, time, wondrous time is in progress and online. but in terms of the works in progress on my laptop...i have...*mutters, counting* fourteen official wips. (ten of them are one-shots, and the other four are longform fics. one of them, i’m hoping to release next week (!!!), and another, i’m hoping to release hopefully around mid-december. uhhh so fingers crossed??)

Coming Soon/Not Yet Started: oops, i guess i kinda already answered that question, but eh, might as well! the one coming out next week (hopefully!! caroline get your shit together challenge!!) is titled most ardently, and it’s an obitine au based off pride & prejudice because i cannot and will not shut up about obitine being the period drama ship out of star wars okay--

and then the other longform fic that is very overdue is called getting lost in a big galaxy, which is a fix-it of sorts taking place after season 5. anakin’s gone missing, and obi-wan winds up going on a galaxy-ride road trip with ahsoka (who, remember, has left the order) to find their idiot. this is honestly my excuse to just write more obi-wan and ahsoka content. hopefully, that’ll be posted in december!! (despite the fact i...originally meant to post it in august oOps.)

and then there’s this other longform fic which...might be coming in early 2021 called red, underlined, which is essentially...uh. everyone’s a stressed out law-school student, and anakin might have accidentally murdered professor palpatine, and now anakin, obi-wan, ahsoka, padme, and rex are all trying to find out what the hell to do with themselves because they’re all in on it. (def. influenced by how to get away with murder except without the criminal justice professor to lead them through the ropes. so more chaos. kind of a dark comedy vibe, if anything else? anakin no is major theme in this one. uh, i mean, maybe anakin was justified in murdering creep palpatine because our gang’s gonna find out what was going on in the background, but either way! lots of “holy shit are we good people are we bad people what are we doing”. lots of questions about morality! ethics! law school student study nights with anakin sprawled out on the floor and obi-wan wearing glasses (which he pushes up the bridge of his nose whenever he’s about to lecture anakin that no, that’s not how that statute works, dumbass) and ahsoka just bringing snacks and rex catching paper airplanes and padme being the one to supply everyone with very neat flashcards. this fic is gonna be an absolute beheamoth, and i’m estimating about 45 chapters? like...130K+ words? help? yeah idk either this really blew up in my head

and then...this stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job, which is...office x tcw au. only not? it’s very, very loosely based off the office, but not really. obi-wan moves in as a new manager of a company, and we’ve got anakin being like “lol new guy i’m gonna mess with him”, and ahsoka being the one who’s both like “please don’t mess with our new boss” but also being like “actually, wait, lemme help”, rex being in hr and being like “i don’t get paid enough for this”. (also there’s some parts that are written like actual interviews like you would find in the office, so there’s this one bit where uhhh

Obi-Wan flicks his eyes to the cameras in silent question before turning back to Ahsoka. “Well, if you need to call maintenance, then I hardly think you need my permission—”

“Thanks!” Ahsoka says quickly, and she’s about to disappear from the doorway when Obi-Wan stands up.

“Wait, Ahsoka, what exactly—”

Ahsoka re-appears at the doorway. “Oh, right,” she says. “Um—maybe just stay away from the men’s bathroom for a little bit.” She pauses.

“Actually, just stay away from them for the rest of the day.” She hovers by the door for a minute longer, and then she adds quickly, “And maybe also avoid the breakroom. Everything’s fine!”

And with a perfectly not-fine smile, Ahsoka disappears from the doorway.

Obi-Wan stares at where Ahsoka was just a moment ago, and the he turns to the cameras in disbelief. “Did she just—” Unable to finish his own sentence, Obi-Wan starts out the door. “Ahsoka?”

The camera follows Obi-Wan out of the conference room and into the breakroom. There are only muffled shouts—Anakin’s shouts, and then Rex’s, and then Ahsoka’s frantic “no, sorry, everything’s fine!”, and then Obi-Wan’s loud, “What is going on in here?”

surprise y’all just got a snippet i’m sorry can you tell i’m weirdly into this au?? i need to rewrite some scenes but uh there you go

Prompts: for the most part, yes! i have some stuff in my faq about prompts that i’ll probably turn down (mostly anything that’s...above a certain rating/really, realy heavy themes that i just don’t think i can tackle with justice or with enough education on my end). i can be a little slow with prompts, but i’ll get to all of them in time!

Upcoming Work You’re Most Excited About: uhhhh i have too many that i’m excited about. literally i can write a mini essay on every single one of the fics i’m working on? but uhhh i guess since i already talked about all my major longform fics above (asdfasdfsd didn’t mean to do that, i’m so sorry for everyone who had to scroll past that word-vomit), i guess the one i’m most excited about releasing is the post season 7 obi-wan-and-ahsoka-finally-talk-about-how-they-miss-each-other-also-sorry-for-fighting-with-you-i-know-you-were-just-trying-your-best fic. (not a whole ton of spoilers for this one, but uh. i’m looking at some of these scenes and making frustrated sounds because there’s this one particular instance where i’m like, ahsoka. ahsoka just talk to him just ta lk to him but then lol no talking :)) also maybe some h/c? lowkey sickfic might be involved in this somehow? might have accidentally served as a precursor to to these memories? help? this fic just ballooned. caroline keep your ideas contained challenge!)

No Pressure Tags: @lightasthesun @soplantyourownflowers @ohhellokenobiand anyone else who wants to join!

#tag game #thank you!!#caroline.....control your wips challenge #also i am so sorry this got sO long and SO OUT OF HAND #also....lol caroline stop writing so many longform fic challenge #i really love writing one-shots #i really really love writing one shots #but like also. also there's a part of me that's like 'im gonna hyperfixate on this au sO HARD'#thankfully tho i think those are all the longform wips #there's also that one time travel fix it longform fic i have in the back of my head....#but lol i still haven't outlined it yet

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weispy · 4 years

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a buncha unpublished wips

(would they be technically considered a single wip rehashed several times? since they were all intended to be the same story...)

anyways. since i never they’re not gonna see the light of the day ever again and i got reminded of them, why not. have some unfinished first chapters of the naruto si i had been talking about.

warning for dubious quality of writing and extremely long post under cut :v

written in 2016/03

The first thing I felt were droplets of water hitting my face and realization hit me that my clothes were soaking wet. I opened my eyes, and as most of you certainly guessed, it was raining. More like pouring, I would say. But my point was said: it was raining pretty hard. I was also probably going to get hypothermia if I stayed outside any longer. The fact that I was laying on the ground with only a short-sleeved shirt and some shorts did not help.

Talking about the outside…

This place had weird looking skyscrapers (Were they even skyscrapers?) just about everywhere. Really tall, kind of ugly, has external waterworks sort of skyscraper. I would have said this place was deserted, if not for the occasional screams.

‘This doesn’t really look like the afterlife,’ I idly commented to myself.

I then completely stopped that train of thought. Why would I say (think) that? Am I dead? Am I supposed to be dead? If so, why can’t I recall any past moment that ultimately resulted in my said death?

I hadn’t noticed that my breathing was becoming erratic, and I couldn’t care less. I had other thoughts to attend to, like…

Where the hell am I?

I don’t remember travelling anywhere. I don’t remember leaving my home. Come to think about it, I couldn’t actually think of anything involving the time before I awoke here.

…

Not a single memory was clear. I couldn’t recall anything in particular, yet I was aware that I knew the answer. Just like the feeling of having a word on the tip of your tongue, but you just can’t get it out.

Anyways, I should probably find out where this is. No need to dwell on events which you cannot help or change.

(This place looks awfully familiar. Not the ‘I’ve been here before’ familiar, but more of the ‘I have already seen this place in a book’ familiar.)

Standing up from my laying position, I noticed yet another thing off. I had pudgy limbs, akin to a child’s and I’m pretty sure I was taller than this. And I have a distinct feeling that I have already lived past my young childhood. Judging from my arms, my body seems to be around 10 years old.

Talk about inconvenient. And strange.

In fact, I don’t think any of this should be happening on a normal basis, but hey, life happens.

Is that a person I see? Is that… a kid and a dog…? Though I guess help from a random kid is better than no help at all.

I padded on the damp soil towards the two of them, hoping if they could offer any form of guidance. If he can’t, I could always follow them. The boy (at least, I think it’s a boy) has a dog accompanying him. Dogs are loyal and adorable, though I do prefer cats. Cats are a lot more laid-back than dogs.

And again, this déjà vu feeling is back. I really hope my memory will clear up soon, because that feeling is extremely irritating.

The kid –oh my, he has really, and I mean REALLY bright red hair (not ginger, red) – did not seem to acknowledge my presence as I reached him, but the brown canine certainly did. Looking closer (it’s not creepy, right?), the red-haired boy looked like he recently cried. Not that it was that noticeable in the rain.

I wonder, is it normal for people here to ignore strangers? Or is it because he just had a break down and he doesn’t want people to see his tear-stricken face? Oh, and the dog is now growling at me.

He still gave no sign that he noticed me, so I decided to make the first move.

“Er, hello? Can I ask you something?”

---

written in 2016/04

Someone sobbing, pleading for something. A parting sigh, a fading light, and then darkness. Spiralling down a pitch-black abyss, and nothing to grasp on.

The last and only memories about myself I possess.

I awoke in a dark location, somewhere unpleasantly humid. My eyesight slightly cleared out and I realized that I was surrounded by colossal trees. A wandering thought is telling me that they are way taller than any plant I have seen.

Which doesn’t mean much, since I have apparently lost a good percentage of my memories.

Also, did I say that I didn’t have any legs? Or arms? Actually, it doesn’t seem that I have a body at all. Though I’m positive I’m supposed to have one. ‘Why?’ one might ask. Just a hunch. That annoying feeling that you have when you know something, but just can’t get a clear grip on the thought.

So I’m currently just a floating… thing. Or object. Or soul. Actually, I have no idea what I was.

Just a few minutes in, and I spotted something that sent chills up my spine. Something that even if I had my memories, even if I had a body, even if I was as tall as those trees, would still scare the living daylights out of me.

A giant ass spider.

I was pretty sure spiders weren’t meant to be that big. I was also pretty sure that they were not supposed to have 12 legs. And they absolutely were not supposed to be eating a tiger.

It didn’t seem to notice me at first, completely oblivious to my presence as it continued feasting on the giant feline’s carcass. So listen here: curiosity is a good thing, but it can also lead to certain doom.

And guess what I decided to do.

Yeah, I certainly wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

So I decided to approach the arachnid, and to my greatest relief, it still hasn’t taken notice to me. That’s when I started feeling an attraction–not the romantic sort, but gravitational sort–to the twelve-legged beast. I started panicking, because just like any rational person, my line of though was going something like ‘OH DEAR LORD I’M GOING TO GET SUCKED IN BY A GIANT SPIDER AND–‘

Then I realized I could resist the pull. Silly me, huh? All that terror for nothing.

And again, I’ll say that I’m not the brightest lightbulb out there.

Because curiosity is a wonderful thing, I continued my path towards the unnaturally giant twelve-legged possibly highly venomous and definitely carnivorous spider. Nothing could go wrong there, right? Yeah, fat chance with that.

There, I found what caused the pull: an inky black fissure at the base of its head. And still, that didn’t stop me from going nearer and nearer the creature.

As most of you guessed, that fissure got ahold of my whatever-I-was and sucked me in. We could compare it to a black hole, I guess.

‘I guess this the end of the line for me. Such a laughable way to go. Wait, no. It’s actually pretty original. No one ever died because they got sucked in by a mini black hole from a spider’s head. You bet I’m going to brag about it in the afterlife.’

And then I blinked my eyes. All eight of them. I should probably finish my meal now.

‘Wait, WHAT?’

I looked down to see my many appendages, some still plunged deep in the would-be meal, while some others were in the midst of tearing flesh apart. I was positively grossed out by this, and even maybe on the verge of puking what this spider belly’s content, while another part of me didn’t mind at all and just wanted to resume eating.

Wait, scratch that. That part was definitely not me. Maybe a remnant of the arachnid’s feeling? Better not dwell on that thought. Possessing a giant spider’s body is nasty enough for me.

‘Eat first. Think later.’

Even though I really don’t want to touch the carcass, I probably should listen to its thought. This body was feeling hungry, and since it has already hunted down a prey to eat, why not just eat it now?

‘Or maybe we could eat AND think at the same time.’

And before I could do whatsoever, the body moved on its own and went on eating. Looks like I don’t have full control over the body. So while the spider is eating, I’ll have to do the thinking. Because apparently, spiders can’t multitask. Learning new things every day!

Anyways, back to my current issue.

Correction: back to my current issues.

For one, I have no idea where I was. I don’t think knowing that you’re in a giant messed up forest in the middle of nowhere counts as knowing where you are. Two, I have no idea who I am. The memories I currently am in possession of doesn’t help at all. Three, I have no idea WHAT I am. Maybe I’m a ghost hungry for revenge. Maybe I’m a bodiless soul doomed to wander the earth for eternity. Maybe I’m a figment of this spider’s imagination.

‘Urg. How uncool would it be to discover that you were actually not real and just the result of some random someone’s half-assed idea?’

And finally, I have no idea what to do. Maybe I could walk around, question of getting used to this body. Should I call it my vessel? It sounds rather evil. But yeah, I should probably accustom myself with the motor controls if I’m stuck as a spider for the rest of its life. But what happens after? Do I need to find a new vessel after this one withers away? At least I now know how to take partial control of one.

Wow, I sound like an evil overlord. I might just be able to apply for a part-time job for a super villain.

…

What’s an evil overlord? What’s a super villain? They both sound rather evil and villainous.

And better yet, what’s a part time job?

…

‘Humans nearby. Still hungry.’

Looks like it finished eating the tiger, seeing as a pile of bones with still some bits of flesh attached to them on the ground. And now, I have a new goal set for myself.

‘Step one on maintaining a giant spider healthy: make sure it gets enough food.’

I guess it’s hunting time now! What better way to exercise myself to control this body is there apart from hunting? Onwards we go!

Though it certainly went less smoother than I would have wanted. I kept tripping over my own limbs, and don’t even get me started on climbing trees! Controlling twelve legs at once sure is no easy task. You lift one up, and you have to place it so that it wouldn’t interfere with the other’s movements, and dear Lord it’s frustrating.

I got the hang of skittering across the land in a few minutes, and I had this suspicious feeling that the spider was getting more impatient by the second. Better find those humans then. I managed to clamber up a tree without falling down, and from a high up branch, I spotted the group the arachnid mentioned afore.

I must say, they were a bunch of fashionable humans.

One dressed in a trench coat, stick in mouth. Another one wearing overalls and black glasses. Third and final one, wearing a skin tight green jumpsuit and sporting a– whoa, look at that haircut.

‘Though I guess the first one isn’t dressed so bad. On another note, a good self-pat on the back for being able to vomit out some incomprehensible words that seem to match their clothing.’

They looked slightly familiar.

And again, that nagging feeling in the back of my mind, as if I should be able to remember them. Have I met them before? Would they know who I am?

‘EAT.’

Oh great, look at what I then decided to do.

I jumped down from my perch intending to land on one of the humans, and being the big klutz I am, I instead tripped on my own legs (again) and gracefully face planted no further than a few meters away from my intended targets.

‘Don’t I just make the greatest entrances?’

---

written in 2016/06

Death.

Have you ever thought about it at random moments?

Some would characterize it as beautiful, others, not so much. But what comes after death? Are there a heaven and hell? Is there a wheel of suffering waiting at the end? Will there be the nirvana? Questions, questions. No one had a definite answer to that since… well, people aren’t supposed to come back from the dead, whoever they would be.

And I’m apparently unlucky enough to experience it at a young age. Not having even entered university yet and I got a metal construction beam plummet smack dab on my head, more or less reducing it into paste. Fun, huh? At least it wasn’t all that painful. None of my senses were able to register anything about it from the sudden abruptness of the situation. Though I certainly remember hearing a scream, or were they many? Was it my voice, or someone else’s?

And I still had so many objectives to accomplish, so many unfinished tasks left with open ends.

But none of that matters anymore, seeing that I’m dead myself. Shame, I haven’t even gotten the time to wish my sister a happy birthday. And to say that she was going to come back from overseas on the weekend of my own demise.

It was way too early for my end to come, but what had to come came. Somewhat earlier than I had expected, if I would comment. Half a life was behind me, and as sorrowful I had been moments following my death, I progressively learnt to cope with it. I never actually got over it, only accepting that I was now dead and I wouldn’t be able to change anything in the world of living. And maybe bury it deep in your mind to avoid thinking about it excessively.

How unfortunate.

Now would come the question I would ask myself; what comes after death?

The answer, I would respond, is quite simple. Nothing comes after death. It is solely the cessation of being, the end of an individual’s existence. And to confirm that, it is pretty much what I am currently undergoing through.

Nothing, that is. Well, it wasn’t actually the cessation of one’s existence, since I’m still well aware of myself and still able to form coherent thoughts. Just…

A pitch black abyss that I do not even know if it had any color, no odor, no touch, no taste, no sounds. No nothing. I’m not even sure if I have any shape or form, let alone a physical body.

I had no eyes to open, no limbs to struggle with, no mouth to scream with, no nose to smell with and no ears to eavesdrop with.

And wasn’t that boring. There wasn’t even anyone to pass time with here. Here being the Void, the nothingness. Or maybe there was, but I had no way of perceiving them.

But hey, we shouldn’t think of such depressing thing now, shouldn’t we? Such dark thoughts wouldn’t do any good to relieve my boredom. And on the bright side, I get to conserve my ability to think! And isn’t that an awesome skill. Would it be considered as a genetic trait? To be able to think and have self-awareness?

Bah. Life. Moving onto another livelier and less dull topic. Let’s say… the fact that I’m currently being pulled by something and that was the first sensation I have felt for who knows how long.

At first, I was ecstatic about being able to feel again, but as the impression of the touch continued and gradually augmented its pressure every second, I started worrying. Was it dragging me somewhere? If so where? Is the thing having hold of me dangerous?

The Void might have been an awfully mundane and dreary place, but it was safe; nothing could come in, nothing could come out. Just me and my thoughts, aimlessly wandering about. It was almost… comforting. Almost. The loneliness was still painful, and the urge of just screaming your lungs raw and ripping something to shreds was still there. It took a lot of me to remain sane in this darn forsaken barren Void with no ways of movements. Like being constantly in stasis with freedom of thought.

In a single moment, everything snaps back into place and a pair of eyes can be seen hovering in the nothingness. They aren’t exactly glowing, but they gave off a slight shine, reminding me of a silver ring reflecting off the moonlight. How eerie.

After what seemed like an eternity, the eyes finally focus on me, sending a chill through whatever the equivalent of a spine I had.

Whoa.

That was… I have my sight back! This calls for a celebration! Though that would have to wait, seeing that the being positioned in front of me looks to be one to not mess with. First impressions are important, remember that.

“I have a task for you,” it says, its voice being an amalgamate of thousand other voices, grave and shrill as well as rumbling and hissing all at once. I let out an unintentional squeak, the distorted voice seemingly belonging to a beast having ingested the souls of the damned topped with an oppressive, bordering suffocating, presence a tad too much for me to take in in the span of only a few seconds.

“Silence, child.” As I’m about to retort that I wasn’t all that young despite my premature death, a heated glare sent my way shuts me up, and from the look of it, nothing good could come if I tried to interrupt him again.

“I have lost my influence on the human population since my long slumber. Only a few followers are left, and my name has been lost in the past centuries. The sound of it no longer strikes fear deep into the heart of the humans. Eons ago, that same name made the blood of warriors and peasants alike run cold, made them quiver on the spot. I laughed in the face of death time upon time, I drove whole continents into war. I inspired fear and chaos. Now I am but an old myth, left in the dust. My current circumstance is laughable compared to my former glory.

“Here will be where you come in. Your mission is to restore my reputation to as it was, make them run like headless chickens at my name once again. Understood?” The slight narrowing of its eyes dares me to add anything else, as if the simple thought of it would land me with a death wish.

Unfortunately of fortunately, depending on your view of your situation, I am already dead. Figuratively and literally. I muster up as much courage as I could and raise my voice just loud enough to be heard. “But sir…” I start off, voice quivering. I had assumed it as a male, and as he shows no sign of objection, I continue on. “How am I supposed to do that? And why did you choose me for it?”

The creature stares, just as though it is peering deep into my supposed soul. I had to avert my eyes in fear that whatever composes my head would explode from the sheer intensity of the look.

“Ha. Ha-ha.” It sucks in a breath and howls in laughter not even a second later, the eyes curving up to form an upward crescent shape. “You think I chose you?” the being hissed. I can just imagine a face sneering, the nose crinkling in disgust. “Do not think so high of yourself. I had merely happened to come across your pitiful, withering essence while seeking for an envoy. I, regrettably, had already had my energy drained from being imprisoned here, and couldn’t risk depleting it further. You are not obligated to follow my request, but unless you wish to spend the eternity rotting in my insides, you might be inclined to. As for the other matter, you shall find out soon enough.”

It then closes its eyes and draws out a deep, long sigh, as if simply talking has drained him to the point of exhaustion. “Enough time wasted. Go. Failure is not an option.”

Faster than one could blink, the world starts crumbling away at full tilt, replacing the once inky space with stark white, all the while the eyes of the creature not leaving my form.

Just as the last shred of darkness falls, it utters out a few last words, its voice as uncanny as it always was.

“Name’s Jashin. And don’t wear it out.”

And everything drowns in a pure, colorless landscape.

The milky surroundings crack in their turn with vivid colors bursting from the seams, as one could compare them to the fireworks on a first of July. The ceiling took on a light blue hue and various pigments splattered across the scenery, fluorescent lighting dancing around. I shut my eyes close to avoid being blinded by the inordinately bright colors. Spending an excessive amount of time in a colorless environment will do that to you.

Or more like I would have if I had any eyes to begin with. Which I apparently don’t.

On the bright side, I have no need to blink and yet, I can still see. Maybe I just have eye holes and can somehow peer out of them without the organ in place. Or I don’t have any body at all and am defying every law of life about how the dead cannot come to the realm of living.

I guess I could also be in a coma and I’m dreaming this awesome plot line that might get super intense later on. Hell, that would be so rad! Not the coma part, of course, but the other part! Getting myself into a story revolving around the main character—namely me—and kicking butts all around!

But if I die here… Would it also mean I die on the other side too?

And I’m also pretty much certain I have kicked the bucket some time ago. So coma is out of the possibilities.

Another one of the possibility would be that my soul, who was supposed to do whatever a dead soul was supposed to do, got ripped out of that cycle by a scary as hell demon lord that got sealed away by an old wizard to never roam the land again and has been tasked to spread terror in its name so it gets enough spiritual energy to make a giant comeback to the mortal plane to take the throne and proclaim itself as the overlord of the world.

Yeah, that seems about it.

Since I have already bit the dust quite a while ago, why not enjoy myself in the meantime? It’s not like it would hurt to do so, and whatever its name was—Jashin, was it?—gave me a time limit to accomplish my so called ‘mission’.

As I finally adjust myself to the brightness of all this mess, I finally realize how alive everything here feels. From the peacefully growing trees, standing tall and proud, to the occasional small animals that would scurry about, everything nearby was thrumming with vitality. Everything was so lively, so colorful, so… existing. If that could even be said. Not sure if it can, but it gets the point across.

Looking down, I can make out a faint contrast—just a minute distortion in the space—around what I suppose would be my hands, as well as my arms… and well, my body too. Looks like someone even went all the way to procuring me a human-shaped sort of anti-void body. How very thoughtful of… it? him? whatever gender Jashin would qualify as?

And just to test out a certain thing…

I swing my arms around and stretch myself, basic warm up and whatnot. I know there are alternate ways to find it out, but one thing I’ll say is that curiosity can sometimes get the best of us. I placed myself in a standard three-point stance and took a deep breath.

This might hurt a bit. Or a lot. Actually, I have no idea. That’s why I’ll be testing, remember?

Just before sprinting, I raise my eyes up one last time to make sure I was facing the right direction.

And I push myself forward, dashing forward and making a beeline for my intended target: a hollow trunk that might have once been part of a quite sturdy tree. Still not rash enough to take on a still living tree, seeing that most of them looked quite robust. I could have gone for a sapling, but you know… just to not needlessly kill a tree. Life is important, so treasure it and don’t just throw it away carelessly. You only get one of those, you know?

Just milliseconds from hitting the bark, thoughts of regret and why in all the holiness of the underdepths of hell did I think this was a good idea wash over me. Seriously, who in their right mind would run around in a forest smashing trees?

To my pleasant surprise, I simply phase through the dead tree, before tripping over myself and tumbling on the ground. I turn around and sit up to look at the tree somewhat suspiciously. So either I’m not material, or that tree is a made up hallucination of my mind.

I think I’ll just stick with the former one and not ask myself too many questions about my mental health. But would it matter now that I’m presumably a ghost? I guess not.

But what had attracted my attention was that although the trunk had offered no physical resistance while I crossed with it, there was a strange pull at the core of it.

A most curious little thing, no?

And me, being the curious cat I was, I decide to investigate it. We might say curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. And it’s not like the undead could be killed. Revived then killed, yes, but not killed while dead.

Makes sense?

And that also confirms I regained two and a half of my senses back! How I manage that without a central nervous system, I have no idea. Go figure.

Anyhow. Back to situation at hand, I hoist myself up and pat off the non-existent dust off and gingerly reached my hand to the middle of the hollow trunk. As my arm phases through the trunk, I can’t help but suppress a shudder, seeing the action up close just strikes me as disconcerting. Like seeing part of your arm getting chopped off, yet you can still freely move your hand and fingers.

And then there’s this gaping hole, a vacuum I feel at my fingertips, the small area of it definitely a few degrees colder than the ambient temperature. I curl my fingers around it, and it YANKS—

And suddenly, things change.

---

written on 2016/06

Screams of terror, the laughter of a madman, a searing pain across the torso, and—

Nothing.

oOo

If someone were to ask me “If given the chance, would you relive your life?” I wouldn’t miss a beat and respond without delay.

“No. No, I wouldn’t,” would be my obvious reply.

Now don’t jump right up to the conclusion that I’m a conceited edgelord or I have deep issues with myself or others, and ask that question to yourself. Ask yourself if you could stand replaying every single moment of your existence without a single alteration of the course.

Would that thought change one’s perception on the question?

My life was… well, not worth of any special mention. An ordinary one, paired up with a decent education, a decent family and more than just decent friends. Good friends, great friends, best friends, fake friends, you get gist of it.

Then came death. I’ll be frank, my death, or rather the moments preceding right before my death, was the most exhilarating experience I had faced. From the pure adrenaline rush to the unadulterated fear at the absurd situation I had found myself in, none of the past event I have ever lived through, and insist on none of them, not even all stacked one on top of each other, could compare to the sheer excitement I had felt.

Truly, death by ferris wheel wasn’t a common run-of-the-mill occurrence.

oOo

Death is… it’s not exactly silent, it’s not just stillness either, it’s… void, for the lack of better words.

Void from any restraints. Peaceful, free from everything, eternally sleeping in a cradle of nothingness. Nothing to weigh you down, no guilt or regrets, just a companionable mess of nothing to keep me entertained.

Feelings start to dwindle, memories start to crack, everything starts to fade away to non-existence.

With a final resigned sigh, I decide that maybe vegetating in a colorless realm of emptiness wouldn’t bring me much amusement. Not much here would, to be honest. Being dead is boring. Being dead and alone with no one to be around with is even more boring.

Ah, to say that I simply wanted to have some fun in my life.

I let go.

oOo

I drift aimlessly with no particular intention. Pieces break off, and I do nothing to stop myself from degrading into nullity.

oOo

It’s only after a bout of time (but time cannot exist without space, space cannot exist without time, and nothing exists here) that I realize.

‘I don’t want to disappear.’

In a desperate attempt to keep myself as me, I reach out everywhere possible and greedily hoard any fragment of memory, mind and notion salvageable, and fervently organize them. I can’t lose any more, and do not plan to. Make sure to not forget. Repeat everything until you can recite it from the tip of your fingers. Realize that I have lost my corporeal body, but still have a faint feeling when attempting to move limbs.

oOo

The void echoed with half remembered poems and stories, and bits of names, locations and forgotten sentiments.

I continue rehearsing and recounting various broken memories found here and there.

‘Do not forget.’

oOo

‘...first to score 50 goals in one season, played 18 of ‘em, nicely combed hair, great guy-’

I repeat again and again, counting off with a twitch of a finger for every fragment for the umpteen time, and—

Krrrrrk.

Something is pulling. Something is pulling on me.

Something or someone exist in this nonexistent plane aside from me. Excitement rushes in me, thought of ‘Ah! I can physically feel again! I still exist, and now someone else does too!’ runs amok.

Anticipation tingles through my entire being and I curiously await for an entity to pop out from nowhere.

A beat, then two, and nothing. I wait in bated breath, still full of hope. Maybe they’re hiding? Perhaps they’re shy, or are too afraid to show up? Should I call out for them? But if I do, it might scare them away.

‘Anyone hear me?!’ I shout. Or think. Frankly, I have lost the ability differentiate between the two long ago. It is a bit difficult, not being sure if you’re either hearing your own thoughts or voice in here.

Another beat passes.

No one replies.

I let out a sigh in disappointment.

For all that I know, it might have just been wishful thinking, my desire for company acting up.

Back to my typical routine, then.

‘...Praying mantis’ actually have 5 eyes. The central nervous system is composed of…’

oOo

The sensation of the pull didn’t quite leave even as time ticked by and stories had been recounted endlessly.

It was nice at first, as a reassurance that another might have come wandering here, but now it’s just irritating. It is somewhat difficult to concentrate on tasks at hand when some part of you is being perpetually pulled at short intervals.

Then suddenly, the pull increases tenfold in its intensity, and it feels like I’m being violently ripped apart and ohithurtssomeonemakeitstop—

Everything snaps back in place at once and the pain disappears just as swiftly as it came.

I take a quick peek around and find out that instead of the colorless background I became accustomed to over time, the surroundings are now of a dull gray, stretching out until the eye can’t see.

Maybe the afterlife thingy is different depending on the person? Though whoever inhabits this place, they must have some lousy aesthetic taste, I must say. Even mine, a vast emptiness of nothing (plus moi), looks way better than this plane of commonplaceness.

“I can hear you, you filthy disgraceful half-soul. Show some respect to the one who pulled you out of those… repulsive grounds. It would be in your best interest to not insult me,” a low voice drawls from behind me.

And by voice, I mean an amalgamate of thousand whispers of the damned who came crawling out from the depths of the fiery hells, grave and shrill as well as rumbling and whistling all at once.

Talk about disconcerting.

I turn around to the source of the voice, mostly eager and maybe also slightly anxious to meet the mind-reading condescending might-be remnant of a dead esper. That’s what people call psychics, right?

Now face to face with the mysterious creature of esoteric origins and, lo and behold, who I meet isn’t an actual person, and possesses much less a humanoid figure.

I am presented to a pair of tiny eyes, narrowed in probable annoyance.

---

written on 2017/05

The first time Nagato meets him, he’s grossly sobbing and vainly trying to wipe away the unending stream of tears cascading down his face like a waterfall and mourning the death of his parents.

Amidst the sound of heavy pelting of the constant rainfall, a high-pitched voice cut through the pitter-patter of the raindrops.

“Hello! What are you doing?”

Nagato falls down on his rear in shock at the sudden appearance.

In front of him is a stranger no older than himself, his skin pasty white — even paler than his own — almost like the wax of a candle and radiating an unhealthy glow. The child smiles widely, showing a dentition missing over half of its teeth.

Long washed-out blue hair lazily droops over one side of his head to cover part of his face, and Nagato was shortly reminded of the images of the horses he once saw in picture books.

Looking at the half-naked body, Nagato briefly wonders if he ever got cold from only wearing a ragged piece of clothing around the waist and nothing else.

“What’s your name? Where are we? Do you know when it’ll stop raining?” the boy continues, and Nagato scrambles backwards when the child leans in to loom over him.

Nagato tries to crawl even further away from him, but his hands slip from underneath him and he falls flat into the mud. By then, the mystery boy has his face over his, and for an unending second, they stare silently into each other’s eyes, despite Nagato wanting desperately to avert his gaze.

Faced with Nagato’s lack of response — barring the near silent sobs escaping his mouth — the child leans back, finally giving him some breathing space.

“Do you not know then?”

Nagato hears a soft, disappointed sigh. He sits up, rubbing away his tears in the process, and bleary eyes see the boy’s small frown forming, and eyebrows knitting together.

“Looks like it can’t be helped then.” The boy swivels on his heel and turns around, and starts walking away from Nagato. “Be seeing you somewhere, then,” he offers with a wave, not bothering to face him.

But before he can help himself, Nagato clumsily pushes himself up and rushed to catch up with the blue-haired child.

“W-wait up!” he shouts, then reflexively covers his mouth in embarrassment.

He shouldn’t have shouted. Mother had said it was rude, and maybe the boy finds it rude and won’t want to have him around. Maybe he just lost his chance to find a companion in this mess.

“Eh? What’s wrong?”

The next thing Nagato knows, the stranger is in his face and gazing directly into his ringed eyes, despite having hidden them behind his red bangs.

He stutters out a quiet “hieeee” and stumbles back a few steps.

The boy crosses his arms over his chest, patiently waiting for Nagato to regain his bearings.

Taking a few shaky breaths, Nagato forces himself to calm down. He shouldn’t lower his image any more than this. He can’t.

Just as Nagato is about to ask, he finally notices the eyes boring into his own. Dull and grey, devoid of life, yet somehow still terrifyingly piercing.

Regardless of his own insecurities, Nagato forces himself to speak up.

“What’s your name?”

That seems to take the boy by surprise, eyes blinking confusedly and mouth opening and closing without any sound coming out.

A scowl starts pulling down at the boy’s lips, and Nagato worriedly wonders if he has somehow offended him. He really hopes not.

“I don’t… I don’t think I remember,” the blue-haired boy eventually confesses, words gritted out from clenched teeth. He then huffs, hands going to rest on his waist. “Though I thought I was the one asking the questions?”

Nagato pointedly ignored the last statement. “We could find you a new one, if you like,” he offers quietly instead. “A new name.”

The stranger shoots him with an odd look.

Nagato feels his face flush despite the weather and only manages to stammer a few words of excuse before the boy cuts him off.

“I don’t mind.”

“Bwuh?” is his intelligent reply.

“I don’t mind getting a new name,” the boy repeats airily. “In fact, it would be really appreciated. Makes it easier to introduce myself to others, right?”

The boy then lets out a light laugh, almost too soft to be heard amongst the falling rain around them, a stark contrast to the gloomy weather.

Nagato likes the sound of it.

Just then, an idea sparks through his mind.

“What’s your favourite animal?”

The stranger looks to him, then up to the sky, brows furrowed.

“Favourite animal…” He pauses, a look of confusion crossing his face.

For a moment, Nagato wonders if he too has only seen rats and the occasional dogs in his life. Maybe even frogs and salamanders? He has heard there were a few living around the corners.

Or maybe… maybe the boy comes from outside Ame and has seen a lot more. That might be why he didn’t know where he was.

His thoughts stall.

A boy from outside…! If he has been able to come in, he should also be able to leave too, and maybe also bring Nagato with him!

Then maybe, maybe he could finally—

“Capybara,” the boy suddenly announces proudly. “That’s my favourite animal. Capybara.” Another pause. “At least, I think it is.”

“Kapi… bara?” Nagato parrots back the foreign word slowly.

The incredulous expression crossing the unnamed boy’s face, however brief it was, is enough to make him flush slightly.

Despite the embarrassment, he voices out his suggestion.

“Would K-Kapi work as a n-name?” he stutters towards the end, seeing the features of the boy screw up at it.

Expectant eyes shyly meet the unnaturally grey ones, and a small sliver hope wells up in his chest—

“That’s kinda lame.”

—before quickly deflating.

“I-is that so…” Nagato mutters, dejected and head bowed down in embarrassment. He shouldn’t have proposed something as stupid as that. Of course he wouldn’t—

“But I like anyways!”

Nagato’s head whips around so fast he’s still amazed it was still attached to his body.

“R-really? You really think so?” He’s openly gaping at him now, all trace of previous shame disappeared.

“It’s pretty catchy,” the boy — Kapi — admits with a shrug. “I guess it has a nice ring to it too.”

Kapi stands up and Nagato follows the action — when have they even sat down? — hesitantly.

Now what?

Suddenly remembering why he came up to him, Nagato makes a small gesture of his hand at the overcast skies.

“We’re in Amegakure,” he says, answering Kapi’s previous question, “and I don’t know if the rain ever stops.”

“Huh.”

The boy tilts his head sideways, straightens it up again, and tilts the other way.

“Amegakure…?” he mutters, crossing and uncrossing his arms over and over again. “Now where have I heard that…”

A small thought pops up in the back of his mind, and he tries to dismiss it.

But he can’t.

So he tries to think about something else, anything but it, because it was starting to hurt his head from how much he kept thinking about it.

It’s a scary thought, Nagato thinks, so he’d rather not think about it too much.

By the time he actually comes back to, a pale face inches closer to his.

Nagato squeaks weakly and stumbles back a few steps once again, surprised by Kapi’s sudden closeness.

“Hey, you were spacing out, are you—?”

“Did you forget everything about yourself?” Nagato blurts out, rudely interrupting Kapi.

Because he knew there were dangerous people who could enter minds and erase memories, and Kapi doesn’t remember anything and looked really confused about a lot of things, so Nagato just assumes.

He knows he shouldn’t assume things because it’s rude, but he’s also worried. Because maybe Kapi also lost his parents too, and he doesn’t want him to be sad.

The boy hums lightly and shrugs.

“Perhaps,” he replied, taking a few steps back and letting Nagato have some breathing space again. “Maybe. I don’t really know.”

As Nagato opens his mouth to ask how he couldn’t know,

---

written on 2018/04

I shuffle my transparent feet around the seemingly invisible floor.

Yep, there’s a solid ground underneath. Nice to know.

I peer at the black surrounding. An endless inky sea with a few specks of light littered here and there, some bigger than others, but none close enough to touch. My bed sits a few steps away, pillow, blankets and some miscellaneous trinkets arranged on top of it.

Walking over to the single bed, I gingerly clear out a small spot to sit on, careful to not damage any of the fragile items.

I sat there for a few minutes, waiting for something to happen. Usually my dreams are a lot more eventful, not to mention I usually have an opaque body of some sort.

At least the view’s nice. Someone could probably meditate here, or have a philosophical debate with oneself. Or take a smoke and ascend to the sixth dimension, whatever rocks your boat.

Just as I start contemplating on the possibility to sleep within a dream, something pings inside my mind. A mind within a dreaming mind. Whoa.

{Harder than expected…} eventually grumbles a silky voice. {In any case, yadda yadda yadda, you are dead and I am here to employ you for the entirety of the afterlife and exchange you get some boons. You know, the usual. Now sign the paper.}

Wait, what?

A stapled document pops into existence before me, as well as a red pen.

I take both into my hands, leafing through the papers and distractedly spinning the pen. Sure is a strange dream, this one. Was it due to the last finance exam? Who knows.

{This isn’t a dream, child.}

“I’m not that young,” I mutter on reflex, reading the contract closely. What else could it be? Terms, length of agreement, compensations, benefits, risks, responsibilities… This is too early for all of this. Couldn’t I just get some good old fantasy nonsense at least?

{You still think of this as a dream.} At my hum of confirmation, the voice released a long-suffering sigh. {Always the same with you humans, it seems. As long as you take the job seriously and are not actively seeking an early demise, I could overlook it.}

“No worries, I take my dreams very seriously,” I attempt to reassure the voice. Dream or no dream, near death experience is something I never wish to reproduce. That shit’s scarring on the mental.

Reading over the ‘Risks and compensations’ part, I frown minutely.

“Hey, Void Voice,” I call out, squinting at the printed text to make sure I read right, “what’s that about the ‘selling my soul’ thing and ‘physical body not provided’? And what about all those dubious work conditions?” I slowly lower the document and gaze at the absolute nothingness in front of me. “I don’t think you’d make a good employer, Void Voice.”

{Void Voice…? I do suppose I have been called worse.}

I raise an eyebrow at the non-answer to my unspoken question, prompting the voice to continue.

{Well, what are you waiting for? All relevant information has been included in the contract.}

I try to convey my dissatisfaction through my passively disappointed face. When that doesn’t work, I release a sigh and stop spinning the pen.

“At least give me a black or blue pen to sign.” I wave the red one by its cap. “I have no intention of cursing my name on my first day of my dreamverse job.”

A vague feeling of exasperation ripples through the air, accompanied by some mutterings about strange human customs.

---

currently, the 2017/05 one is the closest to the current draft i have :’v

#mentions of death #aaaaaaaaa rereading them makes me feel so embarrassed #sometimes it's 'i wish i could sink into the earth' sometimes it's 'oh this is p neat did the author write any more?'#(i'm the author)#current plan is to make the fic a collection of interconnected snippets #'very little plot mostly vibes' kinda fic #can't have plot holes if there's no plot :^)#it's just gonna be the daily life of three orphans and a ghost #prob gonna try to seriously restart writing this once i get my uni applications done #my writing

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jadeile-writes · 4 years

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Fanfic Progress Update 90

Hello, dear readers~ It’s Saturday again, so time to see how little I’ve managed to accomplish this week! Stay tuned for a spoilery glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure Gone Mini at the end of the post.

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 45 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 11th of November. Chapter 46 has been started, and the scheduled posting date is 2nd of December.

I post a new chapter every three weeks on Wednesdays, except when I don’t manage to. These updates always include a sneak-peek for the next chapter, slowly getting longer over the three weeks waiting period.

—–

Experiment in Romance

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary (temporary): Husk’s afterlife takes an odd turn when a drunk Alastor knocks on his door and has no intention of going to his own room for the night. It only gets weirder from there, leaving Husk with a most unexpected arrangement with the Radio Demon. Either it’ll be the best decision in his afterlife, or he’s simply out to break his own damn heart dealing with the fickle asshole. Radiohusk.

Progress: Chapter 1 is ready. Chapter 2 is still about ¾ths done. No progress this week. I’m considering NaNoWriMo-ing this sucker to give myself some pressure to get this done sometime (tho with the goal of just writing like a maniac, no particular word count in mind). So far, I’m failing like a champ!

—–

Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a oneshot/drabble collection in the universe as “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”. Read the main story before bothering with this one.

I decided to give my readers a chance to throw Radiohusk prompts at me, and had the Afterlife-verse as an option to set the stories in. Everyone liked that, so this fic is now a thing. Enjoy the extra mischief from these two dorks!

Progress: Chapter 26 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 28th of August. Good news! Chapter 27 has been started! Bad news... I’ve written literally just one paragraph. But um... at least I have a solid idea and the doc is not empty now, so yay, progress!

I have 12 prompts left.

This fic receives a new chapter every Friday, except when it doesn’t.

—–

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s the promised sneak-peek into Adventure gone Mini (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Mini

Link paid approximately zero attention to the rest of the pictures on the walls, making a beeline to the treasure chests resting in the midpoint of the platform, which seemed to circle right back to the beginning along the opposite wall. At least that meant their choice of which stairs to take had been more or less irrelevant and they could just complete the circle and go back down instead of going back to the beginning and climbing up another set of stairs. Less exciting, but better time-wise.

—–

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3 My FFnet My Ko-fi Radiohusk Discord Group invitation

#Fanfic progress update

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micahcharlson · 4 years

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More Briefly(?)

Is It Time to Rethink Swain's Sequels?

I’ve been wanting to follow up on my last post for some time, but every time start to dig in I get overwhelmed by the sheer size of it.

And if I, who wrote it, am having trouble, I have to believe most of you are also.

To that end I’m reposting it, in an attempt to summarize what I was really trying to say.

In particular, I’m going to be ripping apart the comments that were copied into that post and selecting only what’s necessary for understanding my point.

In this version of this post, I’ll still be keeping some good deal of the original post entirely though. And, to clarify things a bit more, I’ve added some section headers to set off different areas of the post, and added an area where I summarize what the key point of that section is. Occasionally I’ve tried to add paragraph breaks and other whitespace to give the post a less dense look for improved readability.

Somewhat briefer, then:

This article is in response to a guest post by Peter von Stackelberg on K.M. Weiland’s blog, and what he had to say about creating scene structure (An Intuitive 4-Step Process for Creating Vibrant Scene Structure), as well as the questions it raised for myself and others.

An understanding of Dwight V. Swain’s Scene and Sequel technique is necessary for every writer hoping for success, but if you’re unfamiliar with it then reading Weiland’s series on How to Structure Scenes in Your Story should get you up to speed.

This will be my attempt to synthesize Swain’s concepts with what von Stackelberg had to say about creating scene structure, specifically regarding how I feel von Stackelberg’s concepts fits into Swain’s. (It’s entirely possible I’ll find it makes more sense looking at it the other way around—how Swain’s concepts fit into von Stackelberg—though when all’s said and done, I’ve knows about Swain’s work longest.)

When relying on comments left on Weiland’s blog, I’ll give credit to the commenter and note the time/date of their comment.

To begin…

My Initial Thoughts

Here are my initial thoughts before reading any of the comments readers left. That is, my initial thoughts based solely on von Stackelberg’s post.

I believe before implementing von Stackelberg’s four questions under “Scene Structure as a Writing Template”, writers must understand the character’s scene goal.

Once the character’s scene goal has been determined, it’s possible to proceed to those four questions. After they’re used to flesh out the scene, they can be interwoven into Swain’s scene structure. Sequels are another matter entirely.

The resulting merging of the steps looks like this:

Step 1: Identify the POV character’s immediate goal for this new Scene.

Step 2: Determine what the Scene’s Peak action is.

Step 3: Identify what set into motion the Peak action? What is the Initiate element?

Step 4: What is the result of the Peak action? What is the Release?

Step 5: Where did this all happen? When? Who was involved? This is the Establish element.

Step 6: Fill in Orienting information about the setting, timing, or context of the scene which will help the reader understand the where, when, and who of the scene.

Step 7: Fill in additional Details about character’s, settings, or significant objects in the Initiate (or, sparingly, the Release) elements.

Step 8: Add Prolongs, additional actions that prolong the overall action, to create suspense—which heightens dramatic tension—typically in the Initiate sequence (or, rarely, in the Release sequence.)

Step 9: Write the Sequel (Reaction, Dilemma, Decision) as normal, creating the character’s goal for the next scene.

Key Point of My Initial Thoughts

I believed scenes and sequels were alike, yet different from each other.

My Subsequent Thoughts (During/After Reading Comments)

Reading through all the comments forced me to reconsider some of what I earlier determined to be true. In the comments below, I’ve italicized items of particular interest.

On the topic of cliffhangers:

Based on this snip from a comment from Peter Moore (JULY 13, 2020 AT 12:52 PM):

How do scenes that end with heightened tension fit into this scene structure?

And this snip from von Stackelberg’s response (JULY 13, 2020 AT 1:58 PM):

From the story flow perspective, this kind of cliffhanger is very disruptive for a couple of reasons:

It leaves readers hanging without any sort of resolution to what happened in the scene.

It disrupts the flow of the story because you then need to have the Release at the beginning of the next chapter/scene or, if there are intervening chapters/scenes, at the beginning of the scene where you return to the part of the storyline where you left off with the cliffhanger. The research (and I tend to be a believer in research) tells us that the sequence of Establish > Initiate > Peak > Release is important for readers/viewers understanding of what happens in a scene.

As a writer, I want my scenes to end in a way that prompts readers to move on to the next chapter.

You can certainly do it by going Release (for previous scene) > Establish > Initiate > Peak. However, as both a writer and a reader, that sequence of elements leaves me feeling unsatisfied. I want some sort of conclusion to the scene.

I think the answer to “Where do you end a chapter?” is not in moving the Release to some other chapter, but to focus on using the Release as a place where you basically let your audience know whether the scene’s main character achieved his/her scene goal. The suspense comes not from withholding information (i.e. the Release), but by adding a tidbit of new information.

For example, your protagonist has achieved (or not achieved) his/her scene goals but…is now in deeper doo-doo because…

This raising and releasing of dramatic tension is a real challenge to pull off. Once you master it, however, you are well on your way to writing some real page-turners.

And this response (JULY 22, 2020 AT 11:07 PM):

Your comment about not liking cliffhangers resonated with me. Giving the reader more information to ratchet up the tension is so much more difficult but also more organic/less contrived.

But more relevant information, that builds on what the reader already knows, thrusts/carries the reader forward into the next scene with the confidence that their questions are going to be resolved. They are eager to read to the end of the next scene.

I must conclude that a scene isn’t finished until the Release has been incorporated. The resulting suspense isn’t built so much from “What happened next?” as it is from the reader asking “How did what happened just affect the character, thereby changing the character’s thinking, plans, and the character’s core being?”

Key Point on the Topic of Cliffhangers

Suspense at the end of a scene can be maintained by causing the reader to wonder how what happened to the character is affecting said character.

On the topic of mapping Swain’s concepts to von Stackelberg’s for vibrant scene structure:

Based on this comment from Jennifer Bobrowicz (JULY 14, 2020 AT 9:40 AM):

Your article helps me better understand how to keep my scenes focused while including important details. In a nutshell, the scene’s Peak drives the writing of that scene.

However, I’m confused on how I could use your framework along with the model of scene/sequel KM Weiland explains in her books. Katy’s method has helped immensely with structuring my WIP, but I’d like to know if I can meld the two. So, here are my specific questions.

The Peak Action seems like it could be the Disaster in the Scene (Weiland) and the Outcome [Micah Charlson’s note: I believe this is the Release?] seems like it could apply to the Reaction in the Sequel (Weiland). The Outcome would then go into the next scene or even the next chapter. Your framework has scenes divided into 4 parts, while Katy shows two types of scenes (Scene/Sequel) with each divided into 3 parts. Perhaps, I’m splitting hairs or not fully understanding something. The Scene/Sequel framework (Weiland) seems to work well in establishing goal, conflict, and a mini climax (Disaster in the Scene), and then it (hopefully) keeps the reader wondering how the character will respond in the next scene/chapter.

So, can the two methods be melded together? In your opinion, is ending with the Peak and picking up with the Outcome a mistake? Do I understand correctly that the scene should be wrapped up (no cliffhangers) with the Outcome, then a new question should be raised to keep the reader going?

And this partial response from Peter von Stackelberg (JULY 14, 2020 AT 1:51 PM):

…

These two scenes from “All the President’s Men” — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn3MSQogVeY — for a great example of how to use the Establish > Initiate > Peak > Release structure. As well, these two scenes are an excellent example of how to do the 1-2 punch of Scene & Sequel that Katie talks about.

The terminology of “Scene” and “Sequel” can, I think, be somewhat misleading because it makes it appear that there is one of each. In fact, I think as Katie has pointed out, both the “Scene” and “Sequel” are scenes as we would normally define them — they have their own set of characters interacting in a well defined time and space.

Both the initial scene and the one that follows should be developed using the E.I.P.R. structure. In the clip from All the President’s Men, these phases are pretty clear in the first scene but a little more subtle in the second scene but also follows the E.I.P.R. structure.

I’ll admit this twists my thinking a bit. To explain, I’ll use the following definitions of Scenes and Sequels as I’ve always understood them:

A Scene is a scene in which the character attempts to achieve an immediate goal—this attempt being one type of action in the cycle of “Goal, Conflict, Disaster”, though I prefer the terminology of “Goal, Conflict, Outcome”—in the service of achieving the overall story goal, whatever that may be. I think I’d say most of the time, if not always, Scenes provide the external action, or the plot. (But it is early as I write this, “early” herein defined as “I haven’t had nearly enough coffee yet.” Still, I’d bet I’m correct, keeping in mind I did say “most of the time.”)

A Sequel is a scene in which the character processes the Scene’s Outcome (good or bad)—this processing itself being simply another type of action, in the pattern of “Reaction, Dilemma, Decision” (leading to the next Scene’s Goal.) So a Sequel, it could be said, is just a scene with a different type of goal than the goal of a Scene:

The goal of a Sequel could be stated as “to process the previous Scene’s Outcome, weighing the pros and cons of each option going forward, and considering all the benefits and consequences inherent in each possible action, in order to determine the best course of action for continuing to pursue the overall story goal.” This processing of the Outcome is, in a Sequel, known as the Reaction. (This is a kind of cost-benefit analysis (CBA) of the contemplated actions for the next Scene.)

This pursuit of the Sequel’s goal—the actual performance of the CBA if you will—is the Sequel’s version of the Scene’s Conflict, which in a Sequel is called the Dilemma, an internal conflict.

This internal conflict, this CBA (even if a team effort, with much back and forth dialogue and apparent plot action) must lead the character—alone, in essence—to make a Decision (the Sequel’s version of the Scene’s Outcome) he or she will commit to—if only in the short term. This commitment to the Decision will always be initially an internal act, even if expressed explicitly after the Decision has been made. (You gotta decide before you can tell anyone what you’ve decided, right?)

Key Point on the topic of mapping Swain’s concepts to von Stackelberg’s for vibrant scene structure:

Sequels are Scenes where the Goal, Conflict, and Outcome are internal versus external, and thus have the same structure.

Are sequels even needed?

Now, before I make my controversial suggestion here, let it be known that I still believe Dwight Swain was a genius and I’ll highly revere all that he’s taught all of us.

That said, if a Sequel is simply another type of Scene, and should be developed no differently than a Scene employing the overlying mesh of E.I.P.R., then perhaps it’s time to scrap the idea of a Sequel completely. Because, in reality, a Sequel could also be viewed as having these parts:

Goal (react to the Scene’s Disaster and determine the next course of action—i.e., the next Scene’s Goal)

Conflict (struggle within—i.e., an internal conflict—with the pros and cons alternative courses of action and the consequences of each; literally, a Dilemma)

Outcome (whereby a decision is reached and the next Scene’s Goal is established)

So, it might be helpful (to some of us) to forgo any thought of writing Sequels altogether, and instead think of writing internal Scenes in their place.

That’s probably the same end result, but changing our own internal thought processes might point our minds in different directions, and unlock other possibilities for our stories.

Another possibility is when, while reviewing previous work writing in the Scene/Sequel format, making the attempt at looking at these Sequels through this different lens.

In Conclusion

So, finally, bringing all this back to von Stackelberg and his excellent post, each scene—Scene or Sequel—will end with an Outcome, which will require the Release element be incorporated into the Scene (external/“Scene”, or internal/“Sequel”.) Deleting Step 9 from the merging that resulted, the steps look like this:

Step 1: Identify the character’s immediate goal for this new Scene

External: What action has the character decided upon after the last internal scene.

Internal: How did the previous scenes Outcome affect the character as he or she begins to come to a decision what to do next?

Step 2: Determine what the Scene’s Peak action is.

Step 3: Identify what set into motion the Peak action? What is the Initiate element?

Step 4: What is the result of the Peak action? What is the Release?

Step 5: Where did this all happen? When? Who was involved? This is the Establish element.

Step 6: Fill in Orienting information about the setting, timing, or context of the scene which will help the reader understand the where, when, and who of the scene.

Step 7: Fill in additional Details about character’s, settings, or significant objects in the Initiate (or, sparingly, the Release) elements.

I promise you, I still have some unsettled feelings on some level that I’m having trouble coming to grips with, let alone being able to articulate. But when that day comes that I can put what I’m feeling into words, I’ll have more to say on the topic.

And, hopefully, with more brevity. Looking back at what I've been able to trim from the previous post, it is still a behemoth. In the meantime, all I can say is: stay tuned.

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breaniebree · 5 years

Note

Can you share your journey as a writer? How the idea of writing fanfics came into your mind? Do you have other own fiction too? Also how do start a particular fanfic? As in do you make notes, timeline or character sketches and stuff or do you just go ahead and write and then make notes on facts?

What an interesting question -- thank you for asking! This is literally going to be a novel response (letting you know in advance LOL)

My journey as a writer... I guess I always wrote things down, started as a child when I wrote in a diary and then as I got older I wrote a little poetry, none of it very good (though I wrote a poem when I was twelve to describe the loss I felt when my Nana, my great-grandmother died, and my aunt read it aloud at her funeral). I wrote a few short stories, just little things, prompts from teachers in school and such and then one day I decided I wanted to write my own story. But funnily enough, it actually came about through fan fiction.

I used to love this book series back when I was ten called Trash by Cherie Bennett, and I was completely in love with the characters Chelsey and Nick, and when Jazz claimed that she was pregnant and Nick was the father and it did ended on a cliffhanger and I didn’t have the next book, I remember writing my own version of what happened next -- God, looking back, it was probably terrible, I definitely don’t have it anymore. Pretty sure the book series isn’t that great looking back at it now, but when I was ten, it was great! LOL. I also wrote a side story for Demetrius and Karma, so even then I guess I branched off into subplots. When I was fourteen, I started my own original series, which I am still currently working on and probably will be for the rest of my life if I’m honest -- it’s changed over the years, but the characters and my ultimate goal have stayed the same.

How did writing fanfiction come into mind?

Well, with Harry Potter, it was because of my friend Chris. We used to talk on the phone every single night after school for hours on end and after HBP came out and Harry and Ginny were FINALLY together only for him break up with her, I was so livid that I had to wait to find out what happened! I remember Chris and I debated what would happen in the last book for ages and one day I must have ranted too much because he told me to go write my own story if I didn’t want to wait, so I did.

I was seventeen and it was Harry Potter and the Prophecy Fulfilled: Which looking back at it now, I think it’s not exactly the greatest story lol and you can definitely see where I’ve improved since then. After finishing HPPH, I ended up still having different ideas, all Hinny, and went on to write a few one-shots: Almost Too Late and Beautiful Mess. Then I started writing A Different Beginning, which turned into my Beginning series: A Different Beginning, A New Beginning, Why Don’t We Just Dance?, Life Is Fickle Like That, Graduation Party, and The Reunion. Those of you who have been reading my fanfiction since the beginning know that I originally posted the above stories on SIYE between 2005 and 2007 and had then completed (except for the second half of Life is Fickle onwards before Deathly Hallows was published). I didn’t start posting on fanfiction.net until 2008 and only recently on Ao3. Somewhere in between writing the Beginning Series, I also wrote a few other Hinny one-shots including The Greatest Gift, She Never Lets It Get To Her Heart, I Loved Her First (actually Arthur POV, which I later incorporated into the Beginning Series), The River (which is a standalone but also can be read as part of the Beginning Series), When the Sand Runs Out, and then the mini-series Padfoot’s Advice (Late Night Talks with Padfoot 1 & 2, Padfoot’s Advice, and Secrets from the Past). Then I wrote the short Hinny/Romione story: The Trouble With Secrets and was inspired to write a Jily series, which I did with Crazy Little Thing Called Love, which could technically be a prequel to the Beginning Series as I kept some of the story similar. I also wrote a Jily one-shot called Flowers and another Hinny one-shot called I Don’t Like Your Girlfriend.

I didn’t plan on writing any more fanfiction as university became busy, but then in 2017 I started writing these little Missing Moments for Harry and Ginny both before HBP and then during, and then after. I just sort of compiled them on my computer for a while, wondering if it would turn into a story or not and then the idea came to me one day for A Second Chance after seeing some fan art of a five-year-old-Harry in sunshades and a leather jacket while riding a child’s motorbike next to Sirius in the same outfit and the next thing I knew, this story just pored out of me in February of 2018, I had the first twelve chapters written by March and another five by April. I started posting the Missing Moments compilation, added a few more things including the Remus and Petunia scene from ASC and kept writing A Second Chance and in May, decided it was time to share it and uploaded the first twelve chapters.

By the time I realized it was going to be a long one, I knew which characters I would sacrifice and how it would end, but how I was going to get there I still have no idea. I’m not a writer who methodically plots. I have a few general bullet points at the end of my current WIP chapter and that’s really it. I add to it occasionally as I go, but mostly, I just write as I go along. I can’t tell you how many chapters it will be or how long it will take me to get to the next section because frankly, it’s constantly changes. I do not write in chronological order, which means I am often writing anywhere between 2-6 chapters at the same time depending on what scene has drawn my attention. I might write something today that fits in the chapter I am currently working on and then by the time I finish writing other stuff, I realize that it doesn’t really fit there and stick it ahead into the next chapter or ten chapters from now. I write where my heart takes me and where my creativity flows.

I rarely ever work on more than one story at the same time, though I did write the short Newtina one-shot for my friend Heather as a Christmas present in 2018. She requested it and I couldn’t write it, I found it so hard as I like them but it’s not characters I loved enough to write so I did it with a Luna spin-in, which I found helped. I never take writing requests so this was very different for me, but I think it turned out cute: Say Love, ‘Cause We Got All the Time in the World. I only recently uploaded it a month or so ago because I found it on my computer LOL.

Do you make notes, timeline or character sketches and stuff or do you just go ahead and write and then make notes on facts?

Once I am into the story, my notes are EXTREMELY detailed. I do have a time line and separate documents for the following:

Character lists and family trees

General notes on: Political stuff, bills I’ve written, the sacred 28 document I wrote, tattoos mentioned, important dates, moon cycle dates of Remus’ life, classes I’ve invented (what they are about, who teaches them etc), textbook list per school year, notes on each Animagus form and information about their animals, actual time tables I wrote up Monday to Friday for Harry’s third/fourth, and fifth year, details of Zee and Tonks’ engagement rings, history and outline of Dante’s circles of hell with notes on how to incorporate into story, notes on pregnancy, character’s wands, geographic locations of characters, and any other little notes I think are important but don’t belong in the bullet points at the end of my current WIP chapter

History and ancestry of each family (from Harry Potter Lexicon, Pottermore, Harry Potter wiki, and my own personal creations). This also includes manor information for Potter, Black, Longbottom, Nott, and Malfoy.

Hogwarts lay-out including stuff I’ve added or made up

Ministry of Magic departments and people (known and created)

List of spells (including ones I’ve made up and which chapter and which character introduced it to who)

List and pictures of Sirius’ motorbikes with information on each one

List of Pensieve memories and marauder moments (crossed out which ones I’ve shared already, some are written and waiting to be used and others just a general idea)

Terms and phrases from different languages I’ve used in the past

My playlist of songs I have mentioned in the story

An entire document dedicated to Operation FUVP including a Voldemort timeline which I have now shared in the story itself (also includes when and where each character found the Horcruxes)

A list of some of the recipes I mentioned, and

I have a 72 page document that is literally just detailed chapter summaries to help me remember what the hell I’ve written LOL (also highlights introductions to new characters in a different font colour to help me find out when people were introduced).

Hope this answers your question -- thank you again for asking!

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shreddedparchment · 6 years

Text

My Best Friend Pt.01

Too Young

01/23/2019

Pairing: Steve x Reader Word Count: 4,257

Masterpost in Notes Warnings: Language, pining, angst, some fluff

A/N: This fic came to me as a dream. It was a dream that I did not get to finish and have been wanting to write out because it actually followed a really good story until I woke up and it left me wondering what would have happened next. The first two chapters will be the dream I had and the last chapter will probably be the ending I would have hoped for. I hope you guys like this. Just a small mini-series in between my two big WIP fics. It should be noted that the disease that the reader has is the one that I have, Endometriosis. As it was me in the dream and the endo played a big part in it, I’ve decided to keep it in. As always, if you happen to reblog, thank you so much for helping me spread my work! xoxo

You groan, moaning and kicking as you struggle to pull yourself up off of the floor.

“Would you keep your voice down? You sound like you’re having sex.” A tight-lipped voice says out of the corner of two pink lips, the bottom thick and juicy, the top slightly thinner but curved up in amusement.

“How do you know what I sound like when I have sex?” You grunt and then stop, whining as you give up and let the heavy weight ball fall onto your chest. “Please, help me!”

You pretend to cry and continue to whimper as you wait for assistance.

A heavy sigh, a soft chuckle, and then suddenly, hovering over you are a pair of storm blue eyes. Steve Rogers leans over you, his hands on his hips as he watches you whimper on the ground.

“You’re being dramatic.” He tells you and you glare at him for a second.

“And you didn't answer my question.”

As he continues to watch you, trapped underneath the large 45-pound weight ball, your glare slowly transitions into a pout as he smiles down at you, soft strands of his blonde hair falling onto his misted forehead.

Here are the facts. One: Steve Rogers is your best friend.

Two: You and Steve have known each other for years. You were there, as an intern, as he was pulled from the ice. You helped bring him back to life. You were glad to not have played a part in that stupid showroom he’d been put in, but you’d been outside, and he’d been so confused when he broke out that you were instantly sympathetic.

Three: Steve Rogers did not like you. Not immediately. It took persistence. Lots of it. You forced him out. You kept an eye on him and ambushed him at restaurants and cafes so that he wouldn’t be alone. It took almost a year but finally Steve Rogers didn’t dislike you. In fact, Steve Rogers looked for you. He sought you out for your opinions and suggestions. Soon after that, he just sought you out to not be alone.

Four: Steve had seen all of your ups and down. You’d been engaged before, then dumped. Dated and dumped. Dated and dumped. It’s been a rough couple of years in that department, but Steve has been there after every disappointment with a pint of ice cream and your favorite movie.

Five: You’ve tried to get Steve to date. Apparently so had his other friend, Natasha. The Black Widow. Neither of you wanted him to be alone. He needed to get back into the world. He’d been so distanced from the world, connecting only with the job and neither you nor Natasha (despite the fact that you and she have never officially met) want that kind of life for him. Of course, she’d been probably slightly more motivated to get him a date because if you’re honest…

Six: You are completely in love with Steve Rogers.

“You look like you could use some help, miss. May I be of assistance?” Steve teases.

“Steve!” You complain and push against the weight ball, struggling against it.

“Alright, alright.” He says, chuckling as he grabs the ball and lifts it off of you.

He tosses away the ball then turns back to you to offer you his hands to help you up onto your feet.

“Why are you so interested in getting fit, anyway? You never were before.” Steve wonders, turning and moving towards the leg press.

You follow, rubbing the spot on your chest where the weight ball had been resting. You stop when he does and then watch as he loads weight after weight.

“I don’t know. I’m just…” You can’t lie to Steve.

You’d been about to tell him that you’re just trying to get in shape. That you want to look good for the next guy who has enough courage to date you. But you can’t get yourself to say it, no matter how much you want to keep from showing him your newest cracks.

He freezes in his load up and watches your smile fall.

“Y/N?” He asks gently, seeing your mood shift.

“I didn’t expect for this thing I was diagnosed with to change my life as much as it has. Getting fit…I never worried about it before and now, I’m lucky if I can get out of bed in the morning.” You shrug and move to sit by the seat of the leg press.

Steve watches you, blinking slowly as he processes your words. As you sit, you force your lips into a smile.

“What are you doing?” Steve asks, smiling as you sit yourself down on the floor, and obviously moving on from the uncomfortable talk of your illness.

He knows you don’t like talking about it and if you want to move from it, he's not going to stop you.

“I’m sitting down so you can do your workout.” You gesture at the machine, overloaded with weights.

“You’re supposed to be working out, not gabbing away with me.” Steve points at you, chastising you playfully, and sits himself down, angling his body so that he can put his feet in place.

“Yeah, well, that weight ball kicked my ass.” You lean back on your hands and turn to watch him.

You’ve gotten proficient at focusing when you’re around Steve. You keep a nice line drawn in the figurative sand so that he can’t tell that you’re completely smitten. But in moments like this one, as Steve pushes against the weights, his muscles constricting and flexing, it’s hard to remember that line.

“Steve?” You probe, shifting to sit facing him, still leaning back on your hands, suddenly very nervous because any time you ask Steve these kinds of questions…well, you’re a little scared, a little excited, but very worried that Steve will see though you one day.

In reality…would that be such a bad thing?

“Yeah?” He asks, grunting. He’d seriously overloaded that machine.

You watch as the machine groans against the amount of weight that he’d put. He has to really pack it on for it to do anything for him. “You’re going to break that leg press. Again.”

He stops, huffs a laugh, then reaches up to wipe at the sweat on his forehead. He hardly ever sweats. Why is he trying so hard?

“I always replace them.”

Still. You make a mental note to send in a request to maybe have a special leg press made for Steve so that it won’t break so easily.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. replaces them.” You point out.

“Is that what you were going to ask me?” He asks, pushing passed your poking but also knowing you well enough to know that you nagging at him about breaking the workout equipment was not what you had intended to say.

“No.”

“Well?” Steve urges you, going back to his workout.

“When was the last time you went out on a date?”

He drops the weights and they clang loudly.

“This again? You and Nat, I swear.” He grumbles.

“Well, we’re worried about you.” And you really are…but…

“I don’t want to go on a date.” He says, a note of finality in his tone.

He should know better. You don’t drop this particular subject easily.

“Why?”

“I just don’t want to.”

“But why?”

The weights clang again as he stops, frustrated with your persistent probing.

“I’m just not in the right headspace for dating, Y/N. I don’t want to see anyone right now. I don’t have the time.” Steve argues.

“That's such bullshit. When you like a girl, you make time for her. You shift your priorities. You can even stop seeing me so much. I’m a huge time suck.” You point out.

“Not an option.” He grunts.

“Come on, Steve. I’ll help, yeah?” You push yourself up, trying to ignore the happiness that it gives you that he's not willing to cut down his hang out time with you, and move to sit yourself on the oddly angled leg press seat.

You try not to let your heart flutter too much as Steve makes room for you quickly and then as you slide down towards the lower end of the seat, Steve lifts his arm and rests it across your lap as he sighs in frustration.

“I don’t need help. I need to finish my workout.” His hand finds your thigh and he rests it there softly, flat against your leg.

Focus Y/N.

“Trust me, you need help. Now, what are you looking for? Blonde? Brunette? Redhead? Skinny? Chubby? Straight up voluptuous?” You look around the gym and point out the body types you see.

“Y/N…” Steve begs, irritated.

“Fine. Forget looks. What about height? Short? Really short? Tall? Just right?”

“Y/N.” He says more sternly.

“Would you stop being such a grumpy old man and just play along for a little bit? Sheesh.” You growl.

You jump slightly as Steve smacks your leg. Not enough to make it hurt, just enough to grab your attention. Clearly chastising you, though.

“Hey, don’t call me an old man.”

“Well, stop acting like one.” You grumble.

The two of you stare at each other, both frowning.

“Hey, what are you two talking about?” You look up at the slightly accented voice and smile up at Annie Wong, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent on loan from the Hong Kong office.

She's beautiful, Chinese, with long black hair pulled up into a ponytail, no makeup, dressed in standard issue S.H.I.E.L.D. logo tights. Her body is crazy nice. Fit. Tight. And in that racerback tank top and tights, she looks really good.

“I’m trying to get Steve a date.” You tell Annie. You’re her guide here, of sorts.

She's actually really nice and the two of you have hit it off really well.

She scoffs, then laughs at you.

“Good luck with that.” Then she looks at Steve. “Try not to disappoint her, she gets moody when she doesn’t get her way.”

“Don't I know it?” Steve agrees.

“Hey!” You throw your left elbow back so that it jams into his side and he laughs, looking at you as he reaches behind your back to rub that spot with his right hand.

“Can I please finish my workout now?” Steve begs, throwing his head back.

“No.” As Steve's hand squeezes your thigh again you can’t help but think about how great this really is. Sitting here with Steve's arm practically around you…nestled in against his side.

For a quick fleeting moment, you imagine that Steve really does want to hold you right here, his arm itching to be thrown around your waist. Maybe his lips even find your neck?

“Y/N?” He asks, noticing your silence.

Annie is already at a treadmill, running.

“What about age? That’s a good one. You don’t want someone too old.” You point out. “Young would be better in your case, with that slow aging and all that.”

“Young?”

“Twenty?” You ask.

“Too young.” He says.

“Twenty-four?”

“Too young.”

“Twenty-six?”

“Too young.”

“Seriously? Fifty then!” You offer, exasperated by his pickiness.

He looks at you, frowning.

“Sixty?” You shrug.

He laughs.

“Why are you laughing? I’m trying to find you a date and you’re making it impossible.”

“Sorry.” He says, with another squeeze to your thigh.

“Let's not focus on the exact number and instead a type. What about…?” Your eyes wander around the large gym room, an array of agents and clerical workers getting their fit on.

Inspiration suddenly strikes as your eyes land on Annie. She's definitely more fit than you are but you and Annie are the exact same age, your birthdays only a month apart.

“What about Annie? Or someone like Annie?” You ask, hoping you’re not being obvious.

Steve sighs heavily, clearly done with this game. He looks over at her and shakes his head.

“Too young.”

Too young. Too young. Too young?!

You can’t help the disappointment that fills you, it darkens your mood almost instantly. How long have you pined over this guy? How much time have you spent with him? Not that those moments were a waste…but…too young?

Your heart aches as you suddenly realize that Steve is never going to want you. You’re too young apparently and now with your diagnosis, no one will want you. You’re useless. Today, today is a good day. A day with little pain.

Your first day out in over two weeks.

“Can I finish my workout now?” He asks, looking at you, leaning to his left to get a better look at your face.

No. He can’t look at you. He'll see your crestfallen expression, your sadness that you’ll never be with him.

“Yeah, sorry I bugged you.” You grab his wrist and lift it off of your lap.

You move away from him, not looking back as you move towards Annie.

“Hey, wait, Y/N.” Steve calls out but you don't stop or look back. You climb up onto the treadmill beside Annie and start a slow jog.

“What happened? Couldn’t find anyone good enough for him?” Annie asks.

When you don’t answer she looks over at you.

“Ugh! Didn’t I tell him not to make you moody?” Annie asks, frowning.

You look at her as you jog, pulling the sleeves of your oversized hoodie up, trying to ignore the way you get hot extra fast thanks to your sweatpants.

She looks over at Steve and starts to motion emphatically at him. You don’t look to see if he's responding or what she might possibly be saying. You focus on reminding yourself of your proper place at Steve's side as nothing more than that pesky intern turned archivist who would never be more to him than just a friend.

For two hours you focus. Two hours! You remind yourself of the looks he's given those girls, the agents who work around him. The ones that could kick your ass. Looks that he's very good at hiding from everyone else but you because you’re always hoping he'll look your way.

You remind yourself of the nights you and Steve had slept in the same bed. He'd come home from a particularly exhausting mission and because you always called and demanded to see him immediately, he would come over without hesitation and then collapse on your bed in exhaustion.

Every morning you'd wake up and he was always on the sofa as if sleeping beside you was so unbearable he had to move in the night. And then there were the times that the two of you would wake up in the middle of the night and talk. Just chat about how hard the mission was or how tough it had been for you at work, both of you smiling, laughing, and commiseration a mere foot apart.

How many times had the two of you gone quiet on the bed? How many times had your heart pounded as he lay there, arms either under his pillow as he lay on his stomach or at the base of his chest when he laid on his back, his blue eyes boring into yours and never, not once did anything happen?

No kiss. No hug. No confession. No hand holding. Nothing.

Face it, Y/N. You’ve been friend zoned.

You finally push the large red button on your machine and follow it into a slow stop.

You look to the one beside yours and find that Annie is gone. She'd probably been gone for a while.

You scan the large room for her and find her by the bench press with Steve. He's sitting, looking up at Annie as she leans on the metal bar, talking casually as he curls his large arms, lifting what has to be about two hundred pounds. How did he even fit all those weights on that one bar?!

You pull your sleeves down and as you move towards them, you feel a small bit of pressure on your lower back. Had you pushed yourself too hard?

You ignore the discomfort as best you can because you want to hear what they’re saying.

“…it's only a month apart so we thought a joint party would be good.” Annie finishes with a shrug.

Fuck! She’s telling him about the party tonight.

“That’s a good idea.” Steve says, then when he spots you approaching he grins as wickedly as Captain America can…which is not very wicked.

It just makes him look like a cute, troublemaking toddler. Stupid goody two-shoes and his sweaty forehead and torso. That white shirt is starting to cling.

“Did you ask Y/N before you started to plan a joint party? She might throw a fit, you know how she likes to be the center of attention.” Steve teases.

He looks over at you as you stop, shoving your hands into the front pocket of your hoodie, with that same mischievous grin.

You don't smile. Right now…you just can't.

Instead you stare at him and your eyes helplessly wander over his lips. They linger there for only a second before you force them down to his chest, stomach, then lap where they stay since that spot is fairly safe at the moment.

When you don’t laugh and because you also don’t say anything in response to his poking fun, the atmosphere between the three of you grows awkward.

“Uh, well,” Annie says, quickly moving on. “ Y/N got permission to get a new sound system for the Black Pearl ballroom-"

“That’s the smallest one, right?” Steve asks. “Shouldn’t you have asked for a bigger one? I can still call Tony, see if he'll let you use one of the ones on floor seventy-nine?”

“I don’t have that many friends.” You tell him, looking back up at his face.

He's still watching you, his brow slightly furrowed. Is he worried? Confused? Probably confused. In all the time you and Steve have been friends you have been angry at him only two or three times and it was always because you were worried. He could be reckless on missions and came back more injured than you liked.

Now, you just can’t make yourself act normal. What's wrong with you?

“I’ll get the rest of the Avengers to come.” He offers.

“I’ve never even met anyone other than Sam.” You point out. “Why would they come to my birthday party?”

“I don’t know, I just thought-"

“We've already ordered the food based on our current headcount.” You throw out.

“Oh, right.” Steve says sounding slightly disappointed.

Once again silence falls between you two and it's just as awkward and tense as before. Which is super weird for you and Steve.

Annie hurries to save the conversation.

“You’re coming, right?” She asks Steve.

Steve finally looks away from you at Annie but before he can answer-

“Yo, Cap!” Sam's voice filters down from the second floor.

All three of you turn to look and find him leaning casually against the railing.

“Mission time. We gotta go.” He says. “Hi Y/N.”

He drags your name out, waving at you like he's teasing a kid about wetting his pants or something.

“Hi, Sam.” You reply, still no smile.

“Hey, Annie. You wanna come? We could use some extra hands.” Sam says, smiling a bit more flirtatiously with Annie.

Of course, even Sam doesn’t see you as a woman to flirt with. Not that you want him to but jeez.

“Sorry, Sam. Y/N and I have plans tonight. We're throwing our birthday party. We sent you an invite, did you not get it?” She asks. “Sorry it's so last minute.”

“Oh, damn, yeah. I got it. I forgot that was tonight.” And he does look genuinely disappointed to be missing your shared party.

“Don't worry about it, Sam. It's not important.” You assure him.

“What are you talking about? We'll get this mission done quick and be back in time for the cake.” He assures you but winks at Annie. “But seriously, Steve, we gotta go. I already got your suit in the jet.”

“Okay, I’m coming.” Steve tells him.

“I’ll see you girls later.” Sam promises, slaps the metal railing, then disappears to the right towards the elevators.

“I gotta go.” Steve says, putting the barbell down and standing up.

“Of course. Good luck, Steve.” Annie says with a smile.

“I’ll make it to your party, Y/N.” He says a little more quietly, talking just to you. “I promise. I'll put a rush on the mission.”

You look up at his sweaty face, his blue eyes searching yours for something. Forgiveness? Reassurance? Anger?

All you have for him is disappointment. Not just for the party but because you're Annie's age…and she's too young.

“For what? So you can do something reckless and mess up because you’re trying to get back on time?” And you really do want him at the party. You want to see him and dance with him, and laugh and talk and smile but your mouth opens up and all you can say is, “Don’t bother.”

You can feel Annie's eyes on you as she realizes how bad the mood you’re in actually is.

Steve’s face falls more and he takes a step towards you, apparently hating this dark mood you’re in too but before he can open his mouth, Sam's voice calls out again.

“Steve!”

With a heavy sigh, Steve gives you just one final confused look before he races around and up the stairs and also disappears towards the elevators.

“I’m gonna go shower.” You tell Annie as you begin to walk towards the showers.

“Y/N, are you okay? Should I come with you?” She offers, eager to make you feel better.

But this mood, it's like you’ve been infected. Maybe all the pining had finally just caught up with you?

“Why? Can't I shower by myself? Maybe I need adult supervision, right? I’m only Y/A.” You say with a bitter bite to your words but it's mostly just sad.

Annie doesn’t follow you.

As you make your way up the stairs, you suddenly feel another heavy bit of pressure in your lower back and a very sharp stab of pain near your nether regions. It shocks your feet into a stutter but luckily you catch yourself on the railing and avoid tumbling down the stairs.

You breathe lit a quick, sharp breath as the pain slowly subsides then move along.

As you shower, you rejoice in the fact that here in the showers, you can cry and no one can see your tears. Not to mention, the hot water helps with the aches you’re beginning to feel.

So many years of being friends. You'd always harbored this small bit of hope that something might happen between you and Steve. The disappointment, the heartache you feel as you finally realize that it will never happen is overwhelming.

So you release your dark mood with tears, letting them wash away into the shower drain with the rest of your sweat and grime.

You also realize that you can’t be mad at Steve. Not really. You shouldn’t be mad at him just because he doesn’t see you in that way. It's not fair to him and it's not fair to your years of friendship.

But it hurts! Your heart complains.

Feeling silly for being such an ass to Steve before he left on mission—oh, God, what if he does something stupid and gets himself seriously hurt and the last thing you told him was not to bother?!—you move out to your locker with a towel wrapped around your torso and hair.

Like this, you might pass for anyone. Especially in a foggy bathroom with other women in just their towels.

As you rifle through the extra clothes you’d packed in your locker, two of those S.H.I.E.L.D. agent girls Steve looks at discreetly walk in, wrapped in towels too.

“They're always together. They have to be dating or at the very least screwing.” The shorter of the two says.

“Don’t be stupid. Like she could ever satisfy him? She got dumped at the altar too, remember? And anyway, I was working out on the leg press behind them when they were sitting looking all cuddly and she was seriously asking him what he liked in women.” The tall one says.

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” Shortie asks.

“No, I swear. She was listing off things like hair color and body type. She was trying to find him a date. And ‘sides, did you see what she was wearing? Who comes to the gym dressed like that if you’re dating Captain America? No one. That's who. She's obviously not trying. And I’ve seen him checking you out.”

“Oh my God, seriously?!”

“Yes! Trust me, she's totally not his type. He needs someone more…adult. Mature. Someone who can show him how to maneuver the curves.” The tall one says as she reaches over and playfully traces her friend's sides.

Shortie laughs and you grip the handle of your locker more tightly.

“Anyway, she's too young. Or so it sounded like he was saying.”

“He told her she was too young?” Shortie asks.

“Not directly. But she suggested some girls and well, she's around the same age I think. So, make your move! That loser obviously has no chance.”

The two girls disappear into the showers as your mind is flooded with two words that effectively transition your sadness into bitter resentment. Two words that repeat over and over and over and over: Too young.

Forever Tag List @until-theend-oftheline @jessieray98 @dsakita @coldfacedwarf @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @fairislesheets @jewelofwinter @mannls @moonlessnight14 @sovereignoblivious @pandazlazykid @lilulo-12 @moli1497 @shifutheshihtzu @the-real-mary-jane @pastelxvirgo @just4muggles @vulpecula-minor @wildefire @mdgrdians @tiffanynguyen03 @shield-agent78 @i-cant-shine-without-darkness @the-wayward-robot @babytrollgirl @alagalaska

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festiveferret · 6 years

Text

Wipdate

(Ashy’s post reminded me that thinking about doing a wipdate is not the same as actually doing one!)

Posted:

Pressed - Tony has Steve hold him up against the wall and fuck him (Held) Missing Midnight - Steve makes out with this amazing guy at a New Years party, but then he can’t find him again. Closed for the Holidays - Sequel to Open for Christmas. Tony is excited to spend the holidays with his boyfriend, Steve. Then he gets a phone call. You Can Stay - Set post-Ults Armor Wars. Tony decides life isn’t worth living anymore. (Happy ending). Ending it Before it Begins - Time travel fun written with @ashes0909. Tony goes back and sees some of Steve’s past life. Set mid-AoU. Smoke Break - Steve likes to tie Tony up then watch him struggle free. More indulgence for my smoking kink. Ferret’s Fandom Stocking Stuffers - my collection of stocking stuffers for Fandom Stocking. I’ve also been featuring them one by one on my blog. Indulgence - @one-and-five-nines added art as another chapter! Check it out!

Updating:

Yet I Will Try the Last - Truck Stop Hooker AU with hooker!Steve and flashy billionaire, Tony Stark. Chapter two is now up! Deep End - D/s AU with sub!Steve needing Dom!Tony’s help before they’ve ever met. Alternate canon timeline. Up to chapter two! Ferret’s Ficlets - All my tumblr mini-fics, now on AO3! Little Bits - Extra moments from In Trouble Deep and beyond. Little Bits: After Dark - Extra, E-rated moments from In Trouble Deep.

Beta Queue:

My project with the amazing @franzwantscoffee is still in progress Deep End Chapter Three is awaiting attention Fangbait 2!

Wips:

1) Deep End took on a life of its own and I’m burning my way through that. I’m hopeful I can kind of speedwrite it because it’s all in my head and just needs to be transferred to paper! It’s going to be 7ish chapters, probably.

2) @ashes0909 and I are still working away at Held Season Two! We also have been working on the Firefighter AU, wherein all Tony wants is to slide down Steve’s pole.

3) Yet I Will Try the Last hasn’t been worked on lately. I had always planned to set it aside while I worked on other things, but I would like to get a chapter or two out this year.

4) I still have a Symbrock story I’ve been working on in bits and pieces, but it hasn’t made much progress. Might need to get some other eyes on it or something.

5) I have two amazing winners for MTH! I’m so excited and so grateful for their super generous bids. One of my projects is up to 20k and I’m loving it! The other is paused at the outline stage until I can make some space for it.

6) Writing a sequel to Fangbait made me realize that’s it actually a trilogy. There will be a third part and then I’ll likely close that series.

7) I haven’t forgotten about the Sugarverse, but it has been on the backburner. When I find some wiggle room, I do intend to write more for it. I’ll probably keep up with the 8-12k oneshots to form the series.

8) I have a very exciting collab in the planning stages! I have another collab that was backburnered but we’re starting to poke it again. I have random little things that fall out of my head, or prompts I can’t help but pick up :D

Well, the Christmas rush at work nearly killed me, but I emerged, victorious! I’ve been utterly exhausted, though! I still found some time to write, so things are still churning along, though not at my usual rate (I need to adjust to this being my new usual). I’ve had some health issues over this past year that really ramped up in the winter and they’re sadly effecting my ability to focus on writing, sapping a lot of time and energy, but hopefully I’ll see some improvement on that front too. I’m taking some new meds that are a little scary so if I send you any weird pms, well.... it won’t be any different from normal, I suppose :P

Anywho! I love you all. If there’s anything in particular you’re excited for, let me know! Who knows, you might bump it to the top of the list :D

#wipdate #my writing #wiplist #<3

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she-who-the-river-could-not-hold · 6 years

Text

Writing Process Tag Game

Tagged by the totally delightful @raven-reyes-of-sunshine thank you dear! 🖤

Answer 10 questions about your writing process, then tag 10 writers whose process you want to know more about. The point of this game is to have fun.

1. How do you get your story ideas? How do you know when something is worth writing and when it’s just a fleeting thought or fantasy? Tell us the origin story of one of your past or current WIPs.

I’m super inspired by movies, especially super genre ones. I actually used to never watch a lot of TV so a lot of my inspiration either comes from books or movies. But I’m also usually inspired by anything as cliche as it sounds!

If it’s worth writing it usually needs to be something I can see in my mind. Again with the movie stuff - I need to feel like I can watch it in my head and write it out. If I can’t see it, I don’t write it. But I usually also have too many ideas so I try to make sure I’m stoked enough to try to finish it.

I have three current WIPs - my Western one was initially inspired by The Magnificent Seven. My X-Files AU for Lumax has been bouncing around my head for a while and I’m finally getting that one written (the inspo is pretty obvious hahaha). And my Bellarke soulmark AU is inspired by all of the other awesome soulmate fics with a bit of inspo of my own relationship sprinkled in asfkdsjfklsdj.

2. What are your writing tools of choice? Are you picky? Do you have specific brands you like? If you have neuroses in this department, we want to hear about them.

I mainly just use Pages on my laptop and then will jot notes down on my phone if they hit me randomly! But I don’t have any particular feelings towards anything in particular.

3. Where and when do you write? Morning? Dead of night? Your bedroom? The park? Paint us a picture of your usual surroundings when you sit down to write.

I tend to write whenever, but most often in the evenings! I usually sit at my counter in the kitchen and just write away, though if I have a slower day at work I’ll try to sneak in a little bit! Occasionally in my room but I spend most of my time at the counter.

4. Do you ever encounter writer’s block? If so, how do you overcome it? Any tips to pass on to other writers reading this?

Loooolll all of the time. It’s probably why I’ve written so many things, I’ll jump on something else when I feel like one project is just giving me fits. Since I only do this for fun, I let it ride out and either switch to gif making or a different fic! It’s not worth the frustration for me. Idk if that counts as a tip hahaha. Let yourself be stuck but then look for inspiration in other places to inspire you.

5. Do you outline? If no, why not? If yes, what kind of outlines do you make, and at what point in your writing process do you make them?

For multi-chapter fics I’ll outline. Usually some type of bulleted lists of the main plot points and action that need to happen, maybe some quotes I’ve already thought of. I’ve outlined a couple one shots before too but if they’re shorter I’ll let them flow as is. I really enjoy outlining at the start though because it helps me get in the mindset of the story and fully see it as I go. Also since I like to hop around while I write and not in order, it helps me figure out which scenes to work on while not messing up my earlier stuff.

6. When and how do you edit? After the first draft? During? Do you have a method, or is it kind of a free-for-all?

Mmmmmmmmm I don’t edit nearly enough. I’ll usually do one or two read throughs and then post it. I’m not as concerned about editing but I want to get a little better at it.

7. Is there anything about your writing process that other people might consider to be unique or weird?

I think one time someone told me it was weird I wrote my endings early on in my work? I usually have an exact idea of how I want to end things so it’s something I write early on and struggle with the middle.

8. Do you ever take breaks from writing? For how long do these breaks feel rejuvenating, or do they stress you out? Give us a sense of what life is like when you’re not writing.

The breaks usually are random and sporadic depending on my mood or if life and work are too much hahaha. I juggle a shit ton of things in my life and sometimes writing goes by the wayside since it’s just something I do for fun!

9. When do you first start writing? Why? What’s changed since then, if anything?

Oh man I don’t even remember. I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. I would write all sorts of random stories, usually about witches or teenage girls who were spies. It’s probably from being an only child, all I did was make up stories. I co-wrote a book with a friend in seventh grade. And then in high school I took two semesters of creative writing. But once I got to college I stopped so it wasn’t until almost six years later I started writing again and that’s what you see here!

10. Anything else you want to tell us about your writing process?

I guess for me the ideas are like mini movies or shows that play in my head and it’s my job to transcribe them for you. It’s why I love writing action and describing things, I want it to feel like you’re watching it play out in your head as well!

Tagging: @summer-in-hawkins, @el-and-hop, @formerlyjannafaye, @michael-hearteyes-wheeler, @the-most-beautiful-broom, @elizabthturner, @janes-mike

#omg sorry this is so long #I'm bad at being concise #get to know me

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jandjsalmon · 7 years

Note

What other fics are your faves/masterpieces?

Oooh grayface! You ask the hard questions.

I struggled with answering this over the last couple days for a couple reasons. FIRSTLY - as I tried to compile the list, I got caught up rereading a bunch. I’ve spent the better part of three days either refreshing my Instagram to flail over lilicole at Coachella, or rereading old favourite fanfics. Total time!suck. lol.

Also, like I’ve said in the past, I read A LOT of fic. Like, I think I was several thousand fics last year (Completed and WIPS) on top of the 53 original novels I read for my goodreads challenge in 2016). I read a lot of fic and honestly, I *like* most of the fics I finish because if I hate something or it doesn’t give me joy, I’m not going to continue reading it. (As an example, just recently, I stopped reading a fic by a friend of mine - not because it’s terrible writing (because it wasn’t) or because I don’t love my friend (cuz I do - she’s talented and wonderful and kind and every good thing) - but because every update of the story was giving me anxiety and literal rage at the characters to the point where I was unproductive in real life because I was so mad. Fic is supposed to be fun - even angsty and emotional fic - so I literally had to unsubscribe and take a step back a bit. I still love her, and will read other stories by her - just not that one anymore. It’s a complex thing. So, there’s that.

And then there is the fact that I like a lot of fics that I wouldn’t call MASTERPIECES but… I *liked* them. It’s hard to know what crosses that line into epic awesomeness. I generally bookmark my particular favourites but again - does that mean I think they’re all MASTERPIECES? What does being a MASTERPIECE entail? And maybe there is fic that I absolutely am over the moon about - that other people wonder “What’s the big deal?” There are several favourites of mine that could be like that.

And what if a fic is short? Most Masterpieces are usually Tolstoy length, aren’t they? Sometimes. But sometimes they’re short and perfect and speak to me RIGHT NOW (before more canon makes them suddenly AU) but reading them after isn’t as gut punchy. And sometimes they start as AU and yet they’re still freaking spectacular.

And I hate to throw even one more wrench into the problem - but here’s another: I’ve been around fandom in general for a LONG time. Like 12 years. 12 years where I was really active in fic writing/reading/reviewing/betaing/reccing etc. That makes for a LOT of different specific fandoms. Are you interested in the fics I fell in love with 10 years ago when all I read was Draco/Ginny? Or what about my Sherlolly love? Or Hiccastrid? Or Gendarya? Or Violate? Or Shenny? Or Reylo? Or most recently Bughead? Like - I have a lot of favourites that I read and reread over and over again in all of those fandoms.

And what if a MASTERPIECE is a fan favourite? Does it HAVE to be a fan favourite? Maybe it was written by a BNF and maybe it wasn’t. I was accused of BEING a BNF once (which is laughable - as I’ve mentioned in posts before, I’m a collector of BNF friends - I don’t claim to be one myself) - but does that colour whether I think something is a MASTERPIECE or not?

Does my opinion even matter for that matter?

One last thing before I actually give you a mini list of just a FEW of my favourite “Masterpiece” fics. As I’ve said, I like to collect writers. It’s kinda selfish of me - but I like to surround myself with fandom friends who have so much talent that the metaphorical room is thick with it. Probably because I’m only a mediocre writer myself - but I sure do know how to fangirl people who deserve praise. So, sometimes I love an author so much that every thing they write is a Mastepiece to me. How can I choose when everything they write is so perfect?

You see why this is a SUPER tough question?

ANYWAY - if you got through that, you deserve some links. Remember, some of these will be in fandoms that you aren’t into, greyface. But I hope one or two of them catch your eye. I loved each and every one of them.

And if you’re a writer, and I’ve loved on one of your stories with comments and praise and yet it’s NOT mentioned right here - that doesn’t mean that in the eyes of “Jandy Salmon” it’s not a Masterpiece, it just means that I had so much to choose from and such conflicting feelings about which/how many to share that it didn’t get mentioned. But remember, I’m sincere in every review I leave - and I try to leave at least fangirly squeeing on like 95% of the stories/chapters I read (which is a freaking lot). It’s been a while since I posted fic, but I /still/ receive reviews that make my heart happy and I think being actively engaged with reviews helps build connections with the authors I love.

Right? Okay Right. Here’s the list of just a FEW of my favourites (fics that I would probably call MASTERPIECES) that I read over and over again because I love them THAT much:

List Compiled April 17/2017

Jane Austen

The Effect Series by Shem (Kitty Bennet/OC, Lizzie/Darcy)

http://archiveofourown.org/series/115954

Everingham by katharhino (Fanny Price/Henry Crawford)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/279556

Mansfield End by Ione (Fanny Price/Henry Crawford)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1072559

How to Train your Dragon

Simple Gifts by Ecoutez (Hiccup/Astrid)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1925469

The Element of Surprise by Ecoutez (Hiccastrid)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343291

Game of Thrones

Not Today by ebmordecai (Arya/Gendry)

http://archiveofourown.org/works/407295?view_full_work=true

Pretty much any (Jaime/Brienne) fic by SigilBroken but especially these two series’:

Honour Thy Regard http://archiveofourown.org/series/48322

In this Light http://archiveofourown.org/series/53759

Sherlock (Sherlolly)

Longer Than the Road That Stretches Out Ahead by sunken_standard

http://archiveofourown.org/works/434802

In the End by Lono

http://archiveofourown.org/works/671569/

The Deaf and the Blind and the Color Red by Solshine

http://archiveofourown.org/works/375335

The Falling by Petra Todd

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8455202/1/The-Falling

The Full House by Emcee

http://archiveofourown.org/series/18800

That 70s Show (Hyde/Jackie)

Hyde’s Long Way Home by MistyMountainHop https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7072364/1/Hyde-s-Long-Way-Home

Sky High (Warren/Layla)

Why Villains Have A Better Life By KFD

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4297395/1/Why-Villains-Have-A-Better-Life

It Just Takes Some Time By Half-elf

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3878294/1/It-Just-Takes-Some-Time

The Office (Jim/Pam)

Oracle Mom By time4moxie https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3893458/1/Oracle-Mom

In My Life, I Love You More By bluelimit https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6420571/1/In-My-Life-I-Love-You-More

Laugh this Life with Me by shannanagin https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2853729/1/This-Life-With-Me

Big Bang Theory (Shenny)

the paladin protocol by spaceanjl https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5623923/1/

miles to go (before i sleep) by medusa20 http://archiveofourown.org/works/250535/chapters/387524

& light is only now just breaking by allthingsholy http://archiveofourown.org/works/154681

the road ahead is clear again by notalwaysweak http://archiveofourown.org/works/250525/chapters/387513

Doctor Who (mostly Ten/Rose)

Chaos Verse by earlgreytea68 (The whole collection is AMAZING) http://earlgreytea68.livejournal.com/82528.html

Welcome To Your Life by cenowar https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3130472/1/Welcome-To-Your-Life

Life As You Know It by cenowar https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3575257/1/Life-As-You-Know-It

Battlestar Galatica (Lee/Kara)

Alone Time by alissabobissa http://beyond-insane.livejournal.com/601124.html

Any and EVERY Starbuck/Apollo fic by hackaddict (Freaking MASTER of BSG fic) http://hackaddict.livejournal.com/tag/starbuck%2Fapollo

Harry Potter

For our allotted time is the passing of a shadow by florahart (Cedric/Hermione *whut?*) http://hp-springsmut.livejournal.com/79314.html

Under by Tudorrose1533 (Draco/Ginny)

http://dracoandginny.com/viewstory.php?sid=5065&chapter=1

The More is My Unrest by Arabella and Jedi Boadicea (Draco/Ginny)

http://www.sugarquill.net/read.php?storyid=848&chapno=1

American Horror Story (Violate)

Sucker Love by Tjoek *Incomplete but still a Masterpiece* https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7612662/1/Sucker-Love

You have been Weighed by Shootingstella http://ahs-exchange.livejournal.com/8634.html

Then anything written by @lolableu (who also writes awesome Divergent fanfic btw), GrayGlube @whatwouldflorencedo (also awesome GoT fic), ScarletWoman @feelavalanche (also started one of my fave Veronica Mars WIPs), and OhYellowBird @ohhyellowbird (also wrote a freaking AMAZING Reylo fic too). These girls are my Awesome Nerds - my Lunchtable girls and I love them. There is no higher praise than that. Read them.

Veronica Mars (Dick/Mac)

Sinclair-Mackenzie by BIFF1 https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10127131/1/Sinclair-Mackenzie

Mercy on the Undeserved By LVfangirl https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10310550/1/Mercy-on-the-Undeserved

Star Wars (Reylo) - probably the hardest section to choose from - because I’ve literally read over 1000 fics in the last year and bookmarked nearly 100 which I *liked/loved*.

Firstly - read anything by diasterisms (kylorenvevo) - especially Ghostwalks (Gin and Fog) http://archiveofourown.org/works/6931657 (there are only like a dozen stories so I’m serious when I say read them all. *waves fangirly flag*

when there’s nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire. by ohyellowbird (told you she’d show up down here) http://archiveofourown.org/works/5564245

Forms by Trebia (a fandom staple) http://archiveofourown.org/works/5454443

Isolation by TearoomSaloon http://archiveofourown.org/works/5937457

Sky Marked Souls by AnonymousMink http://archiveofourown.org/works/5816995

On a White Horse by ms_qualia http://archiveofourown.org/works/5863972

Ahgh - there are just so many Reylo fics. This is definitely not a definitive list. Read terapid, corariley, and perrydowning too. I promise I love SO many and all of you writers are freaking brilliant.

OKAY - and lastly Bughead (Riverdale). I am still very active in this fandom, and it's constantly evolving - so I recommend you check out my Mod Faves tag at the @blueandgoldoffice for my current favourites. 🤙

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