#or I think by the time she did he was dead so it was kinda . A non starter
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Make Me Proud | (Sub!Rafe)
Pairing: sub!Rafe x domme!Reader
Synopsys: Rafe and Reader finally get to release their pent up tension from the Halloween party. He wants to earn his prize so they explore a new way of pleasure together.
Warnings: SMUT (18+), anal play (m receiving), oral (f receiving), fluff
Word Count: 6.4k
A/N: Hii!!! I know it took me a while but it's finally finished! I hope you enjoy this smutty goodnes and that it was worth the wait! Let me know what you think! I'm excited for them exploring more ways to give/receive pleasure!
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My work is my own; it's not to be copied, transferred or translated. Reblogs, comments, feedback are always welcome and appreciated❤️
Happy reading🥰
Make Me Proud
The harsh rays of sun pricked at his eyelids forcing him to awaken against his will, letting out a pained groan. Blinking his eyes open he slowly begun to gather his bearings and the first thing he noticed was the emptiness of the bed next to him.
There was a low pang in his chest at her absence. The second thing he noticed was the pounding in his head, no doubt attributed to the hangover bound to ruin his day. He made such a huge mistake downing all those shots last night. As the memories started flooding back he became aware of just how much of a fool he'd made of himself. In front of her, to make shit ten times worse. Just as he was beginning to wonder if his behavior caused her to leave, the door slowly opened and he watched her tiptoe inside, unaware of his inner turmoil.
Once her eyes landed on his sprawled out figure she realized he was finally awake. Had she been up for several hours, bored out of her mind but not wanting to wake him? Maybe. Did she sneak into the kitchen to make them both a cup of coffee when she finally got sick of laying motionless next to him? Perhaps.
"Morning, sunshine." She smirked at his response, an unamused grunt. He was definitely feeling the aftermath of those drinks. She felt kinda bad for him but it was his own fault he was in this state.
"What time is it?" His morning voice always got her tummy fluttering and today was no different. The ways in which this man drove her insane were unfathomable to her.
"Nine. I thought you'd sleep longer. The house is still dead." She made her way back to bed, giving him a generous view of her bare thighs as she shuffled in next to him. He barely noticed the coffee cup right in front of his face, too distracted by how soft and sexy her legs looked and how she still smelled so damn good even after a long night.
"Rafe..." her voice sounded half amused half exasperated, causing him to finally snap his attention back to her face and see the amused expression she bore. He blushed at being caught so blatantly ogling her, but he didn't try to play it off. There was no need to anyway, she knew just how attracted he was to her.
He took the cup with a small thank you, forcing himself into a somewhat upright position and downing half of it in one go. She scoffed out a laugh and rolled over to the bedside table to grab him a bottle of water she put there last night. Once she turned back she caught him staring at her ass, which had peeked out from under his shirt she was wearing. Raising her eyebrow at catching him, again, in under 2 minutes, he paid her back with a sheepish smile.
Those damn dimples always got to her. She was a sucker like that. He didn't need to know how quickly she got weak for him though, so she bit back her smile and decided to keep on a face of neutrality, knowing it drove him crazy when he couldn't tell what mood she was in.
"Are you hungry?" She casually posed the question while scrolling on her phone and he wished she'd just look at him instead. Pathetic. But hey, he was accepting it. She drove him insane every single day and he liked it.
"A little... The burger helped, though. Thanks." He gave her a cute smile almost causing her to break her act, but she perservered. He was just too fun to mess with, she couldn't help herself.
"You're welcome." She went back to her phone and he pouted. The throbbing in his head was making him more impatient than usual so he snapped and forced her into a bear hug, almost knocking the wind out of her.
"Rafe!" He laughed into her skin, enjoying the sound of her carefree giggle more than he thought possible.
"Get off!" Her words had no real bite to them, so he just pulled away slightly, just to look at her face.
"Thank you for taking care of me. And I'm sorry for getting drunk." He kissed her sweetly, almost making her lose her head completely. These moments of gentle affection always had both of their heads spiraling.
"You're lucky you're cute.." she sighed out a labourious breath and he laughed at the dramatics.
"I'm very lucky." He was looking at her with the most lovesick expression, she couldn't handle it. She had to break the moment before it broke her.
"Indeed. And quite desperate, based on all the begging you were doing last night." She was kinda mean for bringing that up. He was confused for all of 5 seconds before he realized what begging she was referring to. Once he did, his skin turned bright pink and the temperature of his body rose.
He had begged her to let him go down on her like a little bitch. Dear God, the embarrassment was about to eat him up, the blush not letting up for a moment.
She cracked a smile then, breaking the stoic act and he felt an immediate relief at that. He remembered what she'd told him - that he didn't need to be embarrassed about his desires. So he swallowed down his pride and awkwardness and decided to end this little game of hers. Instead of becoming sheepish he got serious.
"You still haven't told me how I can earn it." His words shook her. She was enjoying teasing him and then he flipped the switch. She could see the smirk begging to be let out at the corner of his lips, his eyes hungry and not hiding his arousal at all. She had a feeling that if she took the covers off he'd be packing a hard-on again. He was playing with fire.
"You really want to earn it?" Her eyes shifted and her domme voice returned. His skin was buzzing with excitement, hoping to finally get something out of her.
"Yes, ma'am." He smiled and she could feel her composure slipping away.
"Just wanna make you feel good." His voice dropped an octave and she could feel the dampness in her panties, the temperature in the room heating up.
"I feel good when I make you feel good, baby." Teasing, teasing, teasing. He knew she was playing him again. He swallowed, mouth feeling dry at the way she was looking at him.
"I want to taste you so bad." There it was. The honest response. She didn't want him pretending he was only interested in it for her benefit and now he was finally being truthful.
"Yeah?" She got on top of him, lips inches apart. His breath becoming her own as she stared deep into his eyes, testing his limits.
"Yes....please..." she kissed him then. A kiss so heated it could probably warm up an entire room. Little whines left his throat as she bit down on his lip, feeling his erection pressing into her ass. He was so gone.
"Please." It was a whisper, she barely heard it but she had. And boy did it have her losing her damn mind. The desperation he exhibited for her drove her wild. She had to pull away in order for both of them to catch their breaths again. God, was he testing her.
"I love the way you beg, baby." She whispered into his ear, leaving soft, wet kisses on his neck, causing him to groan... it was such a delicious torture.
"Fuck..." his whines got louder when she bit into that spot where his neck and shoulder meet, eyes rolling back. She was everything.
She had a whole scene in her mind then, clear as day. Trying to think of all the logistics was proving difficult when she was so damn turned on, causing her to pull away. He whined at the loss of contact, nearly shedding a tear. She'd built him up so high he didn't think he could survive her rejection now.
She took the water bottle and took a huge gulp, his lust filled eyes tracing her features, trying to figure out how to stop her from pulling away from him further. He thought he'd definitely cry if she did, too turned on to function. She tried getting up off of him, causing him to whine and wrap his hands around her, refusing to let her go. She nearly laughed seeing the desperation on his face, the sheer need to keep her there.
"Baby. Let go." He reluctantly loosened his grip, looking at her with big, sad eyes nearly breaking her heart.
"It's okay, sweet boy." She kissed his cheek and then shocked him by squirting water on his face. He gasped, looking at her in bewilderment. She couldn't help but laugh then.
"What..?" The confusion on his face made her laugh harder. She needed to cool them both down and this was the first thing she could think of. She can't have this conversation if she isn't thinking clearly.
"I'm sorry, I just needed you to snap out of it. Sorry, baby." She wiped the remaining water off his face. She kissed him again and pushed herself further away from him, so she can think.
"What the hell?" He was mumbling, still half in shock making her feel a bit guilty.
"Look if you're serious then we need to talk. I can't think when we're..." she drifted off then, causing him to realize what happened. She was having trouble controlling herself just as he was, so she did a silly thing to help herself think. He felt endeared, realizing that the moment had affected her just as strongly as it did him.
"Okay. Talk." He was nodding, sitting up, facing her, trying to ignore the painful boner she left him with.
"You want to be a good boy?" How was he supposed to stay calm when she says shit like that to him? Damn.
"Yes." He struggled to stay still, not to draw nearer, to feel her skin against him again. It was so hard.
"Remember when you said you were open to anal play?" Her words shook him to his core. She could see the shock in his eyes before he had a chance to mask it.
"Ye-yeah. I remember..." he wasn't sure where this was going anymore.
"Are you still? Or did you just say that cause you thought it's what I wanted to hear?" He was shaking his head before she even finished the question.
"No. I- I meant it. I want to try." She smiled at him then, a soft look on her face the polar opposite of how she looked just minutes ago.
"Yeah?" He nodded, urging her to believe him. He had no idea what she was planning but he wanted nothing more than to do whatever she wanted. Even if he was nervous.
"I want to be your good boy." His words nearly had her eyes roll back but she managed to control herself. He was so fucking hot when he gave himself to her completely.
"Okay. Well, we need to prepare, we can't do it now-"
"Why not?" The whine was louder and brattier than he intended causing her to cock a brow at him.
"Well for one I don't have lube here, and-"
"I do!" This took her by surprise. But he interrupted her twice now and that was not acceptable.
"Okay, that's good. But if you interrupt me one more time we're not having any sex at all in the forseeable future." Her voice was authoritative, making him feel embarrassed at how childish he was acting.
"I'm sorry." He looked it too, so she accepted it with a nod.
"Okay. Well, we still can't do it here. I'd like us to shower first and have privacy." She was listing things, looking so cute while she rationalized their sex life. It would have been comical if it weren't driving him insane.
He knew she didn't want to shower in his house, having offered her the option before and being met with a horrified look and a respectful decline. She claimed she liked his friends but she didn't trust their hygiene in the slightest, causing him to laugh and agree with her. He loved her shower though. He got to use her pretty smelling shampoo and he always felt extra clean and sated after showering at her apartment.
"Then lets go to your place." It was a no brainer to him. She thought of all the possible issues but given that her plans for his first time trying anal play were small, she figured it would be fine without all the usual prep. They'd build up to that eventually.
"Okay." He lit up like a christmas tree.
"Really?" She chuckled at his newfound enthusiasm.
"Yes, really. But if you change your mind at any point you need to tell me, okay?" He was nodding along quickly but she didn't forget the initial apprehension on his face and she'd be damned if she let him do something he isn't into to try and please her. Not on her watch.
They got dressed and packed up their stuff pretty quickly, the excitement in the air palpable. Some people finally started to wake up just as they were leaving the house, catching a few "screw you's" for running off before the clean up from last night began. They didn't care, too wrapped up in each other and the anticipation of what's to come to be bothered.
----------------------------
They picked up some sandwiches on the way back to her apartment, at her insistence. He was way too excited for what she had planned to think about food, but his stomach thanked her all the same when his hunger was sated.
They didn't waste any time taking their clothes off and getting in the shower. It was such a wonderful moment between them, soft and loving, he way they washed each other from all the sweat and grime from the night before. She handled him more delicately than anyone ever had in his life, and he always felt so damn safe and taken care of when she touched him like that. As the shower drew to an end, they shared some lingering, warm kisses, igniting the fire from earlier all over again in a slow burning flame.
Anticipation was killing him, driving him wild with every second that passed of them drying off and getting ready in her room. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous, but it was nothing compared to how excited he felt. The trust he had in her was so complete, he knew he was always safe with her to explore these kinks without danger or judgement. He knew she'd never force him to do anything he wasn't willing to do, and that opened up the door for him to get braver and more comfortable with trying new things.
They were on her bed, still naked from the shower, not feeling any need to prolong the inevitable. She kissed him slow and deep, tongues meeting in a teasing dance, driving them both wild. The little sounds he let out were going straight to her core. She was so excited about this, she had a feeling he'd love the sensation of having his ass played with and it made her proud that he was trusting her in this sensitive moment.
"Tell me the colors again." She ordered, kissing his neck, winding him up further. She always insisted he reminds himself of the colors, so there was no chance of a miscommunication in the heat of the moment.
"Green, yellow, red. I know the drill." He quickly listed the colors, exasperated and so turned on he could barely breathe.
"Don't get sassy." She warned, still kissing his skin, over his collar bones and shoulders. She loved to kiss the freckles on his body, finding them so damn beautiful.
He was struggling to breathe, forcing deep breaths into his lungs, while she worked him over, touching and kissing everywhere. His skin was flushed, muscles taut with restraint. It felt so good, her touch, he wondered how he didn't melt right into a puddle every time her skin was on his.
She kept exploring him with her fingerips and lips, nibbling on a nipple, lightly scratching down his abs, amping him up, every nerve ending so sensitive. His cock was hard as a rock and she couldn't help but smirk at his twitching, trying so hard to be good and not do anything she didn't tell him to.
She completely ignored his erection, instead focusing on massaging his balls causing moans to leave his lips. She loved the sounds he made, could get high on them.
"That feel good, huh?" She teased, kissing his thighs while she slowly moved one hand lower, barely touching his sensitive hole. He gasped as soon as her fingers brushed him there, finally grasping just how close she was to opening him up in a whole new way.
She laid kisses on his skin as her fingers slowly massaged around his hole, causing him to groan at the teasing tempo. He needed more, she was driving him nuts.
She could tell he was getting antsy, face flushed and little, desperate whines leaving his swollen lips. She reached for the bottle of lube she'd prepared, cracking it open and squeezing a generous amount on her fingers. Rubbing her fingers to warm them up, she looked at him, holding his breath in preparation.
"What's your color, baby?" She spread his legs wide open for better access, leaving him completely exposed in front of her.
"Green." The answer was immediate, a deep longing in his voice. He kept his eyes on her, eager to see every movement she made.
"I'm gonna go slow, okay? Nothing crazy. I promise." He was nodding, impatient yet grateful for the reassurance.
"Okay. Just please do something." She smiled at his little whine and decided to put him out of his mysery.
Her fingers finally made contact with the sensitive skin around his hole, massaging slowly, warming him up, making sure to put a decent amount of lube on his entrance. The massage felt so good he couldn't imagine how it could get better.
She kissed his tummy as she slowly eased the tip of her finger into his tight hole, causing a desperate gasp to leave him. She kept a watchful eye on his face, paying attention to every expression, every breath, twitch and sound that left him. She kissed his skin as she kept massaging and lightly slipping her finger into him deeper, going slowly not to overwhelm him. She was so damn turned on at how good he was being, proud of how brave he was to let her have him like this and eager to make him see stars.
Once she'd slowly eased a finger about half way, she checked in.
"How does it feel, baby?" She rubbed his thighs in a soothing motion which calmed his mind.
"Weird. But kinda good?" It was his first time ever having anything in his ass and the sensation was strange but at the same time he wanted more. He needed to know how good it could feel, because he knew she wouldn't do this if it wasn't going to make him feel great.
"You're doing so good for me, sweet boy." He whined at the praise, blushing profusely at the intimate situation.
"Still green?" He nodded quickly making her chuckle and continue her ministrations.
"Fuck..." he moaned as her finger went deeper, touching that sensitive spot inside him, causing his mind to go completely blank as she kept going. She started moving in and out slowly, grazing that magic spot with each thrust. The way he was responding was so fucking beautiful. He was letting out sounds she hadn't heard before, the brand new pleasure making him delirious.
"You're so tight around my finger, baby." The dirty talk had him whining in desperation, wanting more, wanting her to take him however she liked. This was so different to anything he'd experienced before and he really fucking liked it.
"Taking me so good." She kept talking him thought it as she gained speed, lightly curling her finger each time she grazed that spot, having him curling his toes in pleasure, gasps and moans leaving him without his knowledge. He was so wrapped up in how nice it felt he couldn't think of anything else but her finger, her touch, her voice overwhelming his senses.
"More." He whined out the most deperate little moan she'd ever heard in her life, her panties getting soaked seeing him like this.
"More?" She questioned, picking up the pace as his moans got louder, his head nodding, words escaping him.
She wasn't expecting to do more than one finger for the first time but the way he was reacting, taking it so well, so eager, begging for more? Yeah, she was losing her fucking mind. It was the hottest thing she'd ever witnessed.
"Think you can take another finger, baby boy?" His response an immediate, moaned out "yes, please". She could see his eyes getting teary and she didn't waste another moment before squirting more lube on him and easing another finger into his tight hole.
He was a mess of moans, grunts, whines, pleas and tears as she stretched him out, giving him a new level of pleasure as both fingers pumped into him. It was heaven. He couldn't believe he'd waited this long to do this. Though he couldn't imagine ever doing this with anyone else. She was it for him, he knew it. She blew his mind every fucking time they had sex, she introduced him to highs he never even imagined.
Fuck, it felt so good to have her on top of him, fucking him with her fingers, claiming him as hers. He was getting closer and closer, cock twitching on his stomach, leaking precum, red and throbbing without even being touched. It was insane.
"You look so beatiful, baby. Taking me so well. I'm so proud of you." His tears flowed freely at her words, overwhelmed at the pleasure and praise she was giving him. It was fucking perfect.
"I'm cl- so close." She could barely make out his words from the choked moan they escaped in.
"Yeah? You wanna cum, baby?" He was trashing under her now, losing all semblance of control as she worked him to his peak.
"Please..." his whines making her pussy throb with arousal, she picked up the pace, eager to see him fall apart for her.
"Be a good boy and cum for me." As she said those words she finally gripped his cock, squeezing him as he fell off the edge and into the most intense orgasm he'd ever had.
She got high off his desperate noises, the way he twitched as he orgasmed, clenching around her fingers, cock pulsing in her hand as his cum painted his stomach. It was so fucking beautiful, she couldn't look away even if she tried.
"Look at you. So pretty." She kissed his skin as the last of his aftershocks wore off. Her words were driving him insane, after everything that just happened, being flustered at a compliment seemed surreal but there he was.
It was the most intense experience of his life. And he couldn't be more grateful that he had her to guide him through it. He felt so sensitive and thoroughly wiped out, but in the best way possible.
"How you feeling, baby?" She posed the question as she gently cleaned up the mess he made all over his stomach using a tissue. He looked flushed and sated and she couldn't be more ecstatic about what just occured.
"Good." He let out a chuckle, meeting her gaze, melting at the way she was looking at him. So fondly, he couldn't cope.
"You did so good, angel. I'm so proud of you." Her words had him shook, the praise and approval making his insides feel like mush. If his skin wasn't already red from the intense scene he'd just been through, the blush would have been fierce.
"Thank you..." his soft whisper made the butterflies reappear in her tummy. He looked so fucking beautiful she couldn't handle it.
She made her way up his body, leaving soft kisses all over his skin, warming him up with each one. She kissed his face next, the salty remnant of the tears he'd shed from pleasure being washed away with soft pecks. It was so tender and sweet he almost cried all over again.
When her lips met his, he felt as though his heart just might burst at how full and happy he was. He had never felt this happy in his whole fucking life. How did he get so lucky?
"Holy shit, baby. That was the sexiest thing I've ever seen." He giggled at her words, making the smile on her face seem permanent. So fucking cute she couldn't handle it, leading her to smother his face in kisses, causing those giggles to come out again. She was in trouble.
"Alright, baby. Gonna go clean up, be right back." She laid a final peck on his lips before making her way to the bathroom. He felt cold as soon as her touch left him and he wondered how the hell he could miss someone who's only a room away.
She took her time washing her hands, making sure they were clean enough to touch him again. She wanted to run her fingers over his face and it killed her that she had to refrain. She knew he was feeling exhausted but she had one more thing in mind before they could relax. She was excited and hoped he had enough energy to handle it.
When she made her way back to the room she found him sleepily looking at her. He had a cute little smile on and her heart skipped a beat. She climbed back on top of him, warming him up all over again, making him release a relieved sigh. He wondered how healthy it was for him to need to be with her all the time, but he didn't have it in him to care too much. Her touch, her comfort, her care was addicting and he wouldn't want to change it for the world.
She kissed him softly, drawing out a satisfied moan from him as their tongues met. She cupped his face as she kissed him, taking his breath away once again. He slowly reached up to hold her closer, feeling relief he wasn't used to, once they were skin to skin.
"You were such a good boy for me." She kissed the corner of his mouth, leaving him to struggle with responding at how good it felt and how much he loved when she called him that.
"You up for more, baby?" The kisses travelled over his neck and his heart started racing once he processed her words.
"More? I don't know if I can..." he was all whiny and shy, not wanting to disappoint her but not feeling ready for another intense experience. He thought he was done.
"No?" She kissed under his ear making his eyes roll to the back of his head. She was driving him insane.
"You don't want your reward?" He gasped as she lightly bit into his shoulder, feeling like he'd float away any second. But then he realized what she'd said.
"What? You- Wh-" he was trying to force her to look at him, pulling her face gently up to meet her eyes as he stumbled over his words.
"Reward?" He was looking at her with wide eyes, confusion on his face obvious. She simply sat up and cocked a brow, waiting for him to figure it out. It took a minute for his brain to catch up with him but once it did he thought he'd lost it.
"You- Are you serious?" He was practically begging her to say yes with the way he was looking at her. Like if she said no, his heart would shatter.
"Mhm. If you think you can handle it." She shrugged and had to hold back a laugh when he started furiously nodding his head.
"Yes! I can. Please. Green. Yes, please. Please please please..." he was blushing at his desperation but couldn't hold it back. The though of finally getting to taste her was making every nerve in his body buzz in excitement. He was on the precipice of heaven and he couldn't handle rejection now.
"You sure? You weren't too excited earlier..." his stomach dropped at her words.
"No! I mean, yes! I am so sure, please. I just thought you meant more... of what happened earlier." He was blushing profusely as he tried to get her to understand he was serious about being able to handle eating her out.
The way he was acting all shy and sheepish and desperate was really tugging at her heartstrings.
"You mean when you came around my fingers?" His blush got fiercer as he shyly nodded. He hated how much she loved to tease him when he's so wound up. But the smile on her face in that moment almost made up for it.
"I don't know, it seemed like you were enjoying it..." She kept teasing him, running her fingers over his stomach causing him to squirm with the light tickles. She was playing with him and he knew it.
"You know I was. I just can't do more of that right now... But I can make you feel good. Please?" He was trying to hard not to let his frustration seep through in his words. He needed to stay on her good side if he wanted a chance to finally taste her tonight. But the eagerness which he felt was making him extra antsy, itching for a chance to have her in this new way.
"Since you asked so nicely and you took my fingers so well..." The blush on his face had no chance of leaving when she kept talking like that.
"I'm gonna ride your face. You okay with that, baby?" He was practically shaking with excitement, nodding his head an eager yes.
"Yes, please..." his whine had her tummy stirring again and the wetness from earlier returned.
Rafe thought he would pass out as he watched her straddling his chest, being so close to her heat he could almost smell it. He couldn't wait anymore, all his fantasies were coming alive in that moment. He thought he'd never craved anything more than to have her on his tongue. He knew once he tasted her he'd be addicted and he didn't care. He was so fucking close.
"If you want to stop or talk or anything, tap my thigh. Okay?" He was struggling to find words when he could see how pretty her pussy was up close and she was playing with his hair just right. A harsh tug broke his daze as he looked up at her and finally answered.
"Yes. Please sit on my face." She almost laughed at his eagerness but refrained, taking in the adorable little pout he had on his face.
"Okay, baby." She positioned herself above him and he felt like he'd explode in the few seconds it took for her to lower herself on his face. And then she was and it was paradise. He couldn't imagine anything in existence could ever be better than this moment.
Her scent, her taste, it was so fucking addicting right off the bat. He wasted no time exploring her with his mouth, savouring the new position he was lucky to end up in. His hands made home on her ass, feeling the plump skin, massaging it as his tongue licked at her warmth. He wasn't even aware of the noises he was making as he ate her, too consumed in her pussy and bringing her pleasure to hear the moans and groans leaving him. However, she could not only hear him, but feel the vibrations on her skin, making the pleasure of his whines that much stronger. It felt amazing. He was so good with his mouth, she had no doubt he would be but it was a whole other thing actually experiencing it firsthand.
She started to slowly grind on him and his moans only got louder, his movements more eager. He fucking loved this, loved having her ride his face. He could cum just from this, he'd swear. His cock was already fully hard again but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but the woman on top of him, chasing her pleasure, using him - while he devoured his favorite meal of all time. He'd never enjoy the taste of anything more than her. He was a goner.
Her grinds got more intense, pressing her clit on his nose just right, causing his brain to go haywire at the way she was using him. His cock was twitching on his stomach at how hot this was. Moans finally left her lips and it was the most glorious of sounds. He squeezed her ass, wishing he could stay like this for an eternity.
He slipped his tongue inside her cunt and nearly wept when he felt her walls clench around the muscle. It was dirty and heavenly all at once. She reached back to tease his nipples, urging him on. He slurped and sucked on her clit, making sure to cherish every little moan and breath and clench she let out. It was the most erotic thing he'd ever witnessed. He wished he could see the look on her face when she came.
She was close, surprising herself at how quickly he managed to get her there. She buried her hand into his hair, riding his face just a little harder, chasing her high. She had never been this vocal in bed. He always brought out new experiences for her as well.
"I'm close, baby." He groaned into her pussy, hands urging her to go faster, to reach her orgasm. It only took a few more grinds of her hips for her to let go.
Then it was her juices, her taste and smell and sounds overwhelming all his senses. He lapped up every drop greedily, not wanting this moment to end. Her thighs closed around his head for a second but it was enough to have him almost reaching the end himself. He wouldn't do that though. Not again. Not without permission. This was about her. And God, was she incredible.
As the last of her shakes left her, she quickly pulled off of him, lowering herself down on his chest, eagerly checking on him. Her hands met his cheeks, his skin wet from her release and a big cheeky smile on his face when she met his eyes. He was so fucking high off of her coming in his mouth. The sexiest thing he'd ever experienced in his life.
"Thank you." Those were the first words that left him after he brought her to one of the most intense orgasms of her life. She wanted to curse at how pretty he looked all fucked out. The cheeky grin and the sparkling eyes driving her insane.
She hadn't let many people eat her out before, always focusing more on their pleasure, finding the act a bit too intimate for her liking. But damn if it didn't feel right with him. She could feel herself getting all soft and mushy inside, hoping he can't tell just how fucking smitten she was with him. She kissed him to hide her burning cheeks from his view, distracting them both, tasting herself on his tongue, swallowing up his moans, making them hers.
"If you're gonna reward me like that every time, I'm happy to do anal stuff any day now." She laughed at his words, running her fingers over his face gently, taking in the lovely moment of peace and contentment.
"You're telling me if I didn't let you eat me out, you wouldn't want me to fuck your ass?" He blushed at her words, letting her know just how much they affected him.
"No. I'd want it anyway." He was being honest and vulnerable, just like they talked about and it was doing funny things to her head.
"Thought so." She pretended to be serious for a moment but then let her guard down when she kissed all over his face again. His laugh made butterflies soar in her tummy. Fuck, if she didn't love that sound.
"I'm really glad you enjoyed it." She knew he had been apprehensive about trying anal play and she was honoured he trusted her enough to explore it with her for the first time.
"It was the best orgasm of my life." She chuckled and he looked at her so fondly she couldn't handle it.
"Nothing compared to how amazing it was having you ride my face, though." His cheeky smirk was back but she could hear the truth in his voice. He really did love eating her out. And she figured she'd let him to it more often since it was just so much fucking fun.
"You're a cheeky bastard, you know that?" He nuzzled into her skin, enjoying the playful banter they always ended up back in.
"Mhm. You like me, though." He kissed her shoulder, holding her that much closer, their naked bodies tangled together in the most wonderful mess of limbs.
"Sadly, I do. A frat guy, no less." He snorted a cute laugh and she couldn't help but laugh too.
"Luckiest frat guy in the world." His voice was so soft and he looked at her so fondly her breath caught in her throat.
He unhinged her. Every time she thought she finally stood on solid ground he went and said something sweet like that, honest like that, and shook her world to the ground again. The feelings that were bubbling inside her were way too serious and way to soon for her to entertain. So she did what she always did and shut him up with another kiss.
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Taglist: if anyone wants to be tagged in future work let me know; @torturedtypewritersdept @kinkyrafe @mentallynot-here @wishing-i-was-rafes-princess @clinelyn @magnificantmermaid @mannstarkey @harringtonstudios @totallynotkaibiased @popcrone818 @fangirlwithlou @rafesxgold @malfoytargaryen @theyluvmesblog @withbeautyandrage @sierrahhh @harrys-humble-housewife @piceous21 @ditzyballerina @xoxo3m1ly @jessmaybank @whore-4-drewstarkey @palmwinemami @dustbunniess @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @starkowswife @ietss @beansprout713 @starkeysbebe @miahxelizabeth
#rafe cameron#the sounds of a good boy#drew starkey#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron fanfiction#sub!rafe x dom!reader#sub!rafe#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#obx fanfiction#outer banks fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic#obx fic#obx#outer banks fic#outer banks#my work#tsoagb#dom!reader
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okay disjointed thoughts about the wicked movie 1 day after watching it lets go
-first of all, my movie theater put speakers outside and was just blasting the entire soundtrack on repeat. we could hear it down the street as we were driving up. that's just simply insane
-the opening establishing shots of the land were great but honestly. the very clearly animated dorothy and gang really annoyed me lmfao like I'm sorry it cannot have possibly been too hard to get a few extras to stand in front of a screen for point 5 seconds lol. it was so fast that I Know I'm being dramatic about it but they looked more cartoon than the flying monkey's did
-baby elphie and baby nessa are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life...
-I kinda...like the more human/animal hybrids that the stage show and the original movie had. sorry. like I Get they were only like that bc you can't make a real life goat sing and dance but they're just more interesting to look at than normal-looking animals who happen to talk!
-jeff goldblum's face being hidden every time he had a dance number...I have a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't really dancing lmfao
-whoever decided to bleach ariana's eyebrows deserves jail time
-when jonathan bailey first showed up on screen my mother leaned over to me and whispered 'he's HANDSOME...'
-when cynthia finished the 'wizard and I' I had to actually stop myself from applauding. it felt so weird and rude for there to be dead silence after that performance my GOD.
-also omg the part where she's singing about the wizard de-green-ifying her and the colors in the suncatchers were canceling out the green so she looked normal....inspired!
-madame morrible had these HUGE crystal ball looking rings and I just want them so much lmao
-glinda's friends were really funny the bit were she was like 'I need to lie down' and they immediately picked her up like a plank of wood and carried her off while the one was screaming 'WE NEED A PASTRY!!! IT'S AN EMERGENCY WE NEED A PASTRY!!!' had me cackling
-I wish there was more time between them moving in and 'what is this feeling' starting? like I wanted more time to see them bickering and then also more time seeing them getting along after the ball??
-'dancing through life' was BEAUTIFUL however two complaints 1) why would they cut the line 'what's the most swankified place around?' I Quote That Often and 2) at the end when glinda and elphie dance together like...it's beautiful and everything but from what I remember after their solo moment fieryo joins them?? and they have a cute three way dance moment??? and I'm very pro "they're all in love with each other" so I missed that lol
-also just in general would of liked to see more of fieryo with the girls! like it felt like ball->lion cub->emerald city, in the course of a couple days, and idk I just feel like they could have slowed it down a bit?? especially since they broke it into two movies?? like I don't think that Actually all happened in the span of a week, but they didn't do a good enough job establishing how much time was passing so it Felt like it. which is dumb bc then it just doesn't seem realistic that elphie and glinda are THAT attached to each other by defying gravity like it feels like not enough time has passed for them to really know each other
-boq felt very mild tbh I know ethan can be more unhinged than that
-would've liked to see glinda in magic class!!
-I was a little underwhelmed by elphaba's costumes? like there were clearly patterns on the material but it was all the same shade of black so you couldn't make anything out. it felt a bit flat. and I love the idea behind the freckles I agree with freckles I am pro freckles HOWEVER her's looked very obviously drawn on. like, I have seen way more realistic fake freckles before. so that was a bit annoying
-other than the lunchmeat dress glinda's costumes were good! especially loved the flower shaped one she wore to the ball
-the whole trying to escape in the hot air ballon scene was cool as hell but as the flaming remains of it fell to the ground I couldn't help but be like wow...she really just killed all those guards huh!
-also lmfao the bit in the woods with the lion club and fieryo has like a scratch on his temple. genuinely thought to myself 'is that his lobotomy scar' lmfao
-still trying to get over the part in dancing through life where people were dancing on the spinning gears in the clock tower...bitch
-the flying monkeys were correctly horrifying
-when I saw the broomstick I was like 'won't that be really uncomfortable between your legs' but then she just held it next to her like they do in the stage show and I was like....okay I guess you win that one? lmfao like I don't mind it for when she's hovering but when they had her like supersonic zooming on the broom it was weird that she wasn't actually riding it
-overall I just don't understand how it's an adaptation of act 1 but it's the length of the entire stage show?? lmao like I wish they took advantage of the split and added so much more but really really it was still just such a solid great movie. 5 stars. I can't keep talking about it right now I'm gonna start screaming.
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In your opinion, what makes Andrew's interest in Ashley romantic rather than just sexual? Love your analyses and wanted your expert opinion, bc personally I'm kinda on the fence about it
I am very flattered that you like my analysts and consider me an expert! It is a great honor to be told that.
The first evidence Andrew is romantically in love with Ashley is this dialogue back in Episode 1. This was actually one of the big reasons why I did not check out Episode 2 for a long while because of how fucking weird Andrew is. I already knew he was weird and actually down bad for Ashley, but that moment really shows how deeply fucked up this guy is. What do you mean you think it's too romantic to commit suicide by jumping off the balcony with your sister? Even Ashley thinks he's weird there.
And then he explains that he thinks it's romantic because that'd mean their bodies would be be entangled together and have to be buried in the same coffin. Despite this, he likes that Ashley wants to join him, which wow, okay dude.
We now fast forward to chapter 2, where we get a lot more of incestuous hints from Andrew.
The first obvious one that you will always see is Andrew checking on Ashley because she's obviously in a bad mood having their burglary thwarted and having to talk with, cook for, and eat with their mother who abandoned them, likely sold them out, and wanted them dead. Ashley doesn't want to talk about it because this confirms her desire to sacrifice them and was hoping she didn't have to say it to Andrew, so she is also frustrated he's not picking that up either and being snappy. Andrew then thinks, "I want to hug her until she smiles", which okay, that's innocuous enough, but is then followed by, "I'm not going to do it, it's another thought that I wish I never had." What kind of thoughts do you have that makes you not want to hug your sister and comfort her Andrew? Isn't it a good thing you want to make her happy especially in this really shit day? And why are you blushing at that thought???
After that, you can have Andrew go talk with their mother and have this gem:
While it's easy to think Andrew thinking, "I don't want to grow fonder of Ashley because she's a bitch" if you see this the first time, notice that he starts blushing there. He very much does not want his romantic desires for Ashley intensified, nor does he ever want to be separated from her as we find out later on at the fireplace if you are on Burial route.
And before that, Andrew eats Ashley's mom-and-dad soup despite his obvious reluctance to and his outright refusal in Decay. He is only doing this to make Ashley happy, when the day before, he was holding back from just hugging her to cheer her up because of the fear that intimacy with Ashley will expose his feelings, which is why Ashley is surprised. That is, quite weirdly, a romantic gesture of Andrew.
And finally, no matter how you get Burial Sane, Andrew is still on better terms with her than before their parents died. Sure he's grumpy and aloof, but he still is happy to be with her and he doesn't start blaming her for their situation. This unnerves Ashley because she now realizes that he doesn't "need" her, but he's still hanging around for who knows how long and she can't guarantee he will stay.
It's easy to think that Andrew's feelings for Ashley is just sexual when the main focus has been Burial Questionable and the confirmation that they can have sex in Decay. Sane often gets neglected for being boring, "pointless", and Ashley being "out of character" for not teasing Andrew about the incest vision, but it is still a major route of the game and is worth analyzing. People often miss the main point of the game is that Andrew's and Ashley's (mostly) platonic relationship is already under a lot of strain due to their mutual distrust that the other will betray and/or leave them, Ashley being too stuck in the past in the most obvious form of being attached to Andy, and Andrew being cold to Ashley because he can't be honest with his affection for her. They have to rebuild their relationship as family and friends first before they can have a relatively healthy romantic relationship. Even after that obstacle, the fear of being rejected for their incestuous feelings is very real and valid when they're also family, and if the other leaves them for that or stops being on good terms with them, they are completely alone and/or heartbroken because they have no one left to love them and for them to love back.
This is why Andrew represses his romantic desire for Ashley, and Ashley can choose to stay platonic with him or tell Andrew that they will not have sex. They are both aware this really is not normal, they are most likely going to be rejected because it's abnormal, and they are afraid of what will happen after rejection. They value each other so much that they will be happy to give up their own desires if it means that they can still have each other around. That is also quite romantic, and needless to say, a very common experience for people who have trouble with confessing or never confessed their feelings to the people they love.
If Andrew merely had sexual feelings for Ashley, he can just keep dating and having sex with other women that look like her and move on. Even though Ashley doesn't like it and resents him for that, at least they still have a relationship, which is better than none at all for Andrew. It is much more difficult for Andrew when he is romantically in love with her, and he actively has to hide it away from her in hopes she won't reject him. He tried to make the best of dating Julia to try to get rid of his romantic and sexual feelings for Ashley, but even that is not enough. As seen in the Voicemails video, he needs to imagine Julia's Ashley to say romantic declarations of love to her, but that makes him sad.
On a more meta level, and one a lot of fans forget, is that TCOAAL is a psychological horror game. It is so much more revolting and well, horrifying that Andrew has romantic feelings for Ashley. My revulsion at Andrew was so strong that I stayed away from the game for months, planning to wait until Episode 3 because I want Julia to show up so I can root for her because neither sibling was sympathetic enough for me. If it was just Andrew being very sexually touchy with Ashley, I and many others would have thought he is sexually abusive or he only sees Ashley as a sex doll, and thus find it easier to root for Ashley and hope she leaves him or retaliates against him. But it is way more fascinating and accurate to a codependency that there is no clear abuser-and-victim or good guy and bad guy dynamic, that the siblings are mutually horrible to each other, but also mutually in love and lust for each other. Nemlei makes their romance an integral part of the game's horror, which is a masterful display of her skill as a creator to blend two seemingly opposite feelings into one work of art.
#the coffin of andy and leyley#tcoaal#ashley graves#andrew graves#coffincest#gravecest#tcoaal analysis#tcoaal meta#rambler answers#tw suicide
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Arcane is over (😭) and I have some criticisms so here are my lists of who Won and who Lost in no particular order
LOST SEASON 2
1. Isha
Literally wasn't even mentioned after she died, like wtf was that
We couldn't have a memorial or anything? Come on
Her sacrifice was ultimately meaningless because Warwick got brought back anyway
2. Sevika
Didn't get a single line through all of Act 3
Where is my wife
At least she didn't die?
3. The entire Undercity, to be honest
Where did the independence thread go
Giving Sevika a council seat wasn't enough
I don't like that so many of them had to fight in Enforcer uniforms, that felt wrong
That was the MAIN CONFLICT for most of the show. It felt so weird to gloss over it at the end
4. Vander/Warwick
Gonna be real I wasn't super crazy about most of his presence here, I don't feel like it actually contributed much to anyone's development, except MAYBE Viktor's
We would not have lost anything if they didn't have the flashback scene with their mom
Super didn't like Jinx's ending as it pertained to him
5. Jinx
Hey I super don't like that every character who had a moment of suicide ideation or attempt ended up dead or "dead"
I don't like the way she "died" it didn't feel earned
I don't feel like the ending she got aligned well with her character at all. She spiraled and then just. stayed at the bottom of the spiral :(
They put a TON of family stuff in act 1 and 2 that didn't get resolution in 3
I think they kinda did my girl dirty I'm sorry
6. Loris
Clearly would have had more of a role if they didn't have to cut him for time
NEITHER WON NOR LOST SEASON 2
1. Vi
I want to say she won because she got to bang her cop girlfriend in a prison cell and the sex scene was good as hell but
She also was just taking massive L's the whole time
Like it never felt like she ever had any real wins other than that and that bummed me out
Didn't get enough time to be a dumbfuck with Jayce :(
Caitlyn
Didn't get enough proper resolution for her wonderful fascist arc
She felt a little dropped in Act 3 as well
Glad she got that Vussy tho, good for her
And I did like the vs Ambessa fight, that was also good
I honestly feel like Viktor and Jayce's romance was written better than her and Vi's, and as a gay woman who is constantly watching mlm relationships get so much more attention, it rubs me the wrong way
WON SEASON 2
1. Viktor (OBVIOUSLY)
The fucked up robot army. The religious imagery. The body horror. His robot alien design is scary as fuck. Absolutely incredible work
Got to be taller and stronger than Jayce hooray
They're canon. That was the gayest shit I've ever seen in my life
I do wish they had spent more time overall fleshing out more of the disability commentary, I feel like it was a little lacking in the end
Nevertheless BEAUTIFUL and HORRIFYING and TRAGIC
2. Jayce
See above
Yeah he also got to be a big hero and got to be resolved really well
Did NOT see his death coming that was crazy
They Magnus 200'd his ass, damn
He chose Viktor over everything I'm emo
They made a heart when they touched their foreheads together fuck OFF
3. Heimerdinger
Literally just living his best life
Love that he didn't tell Ekko he can't die, he just let the poor boy think he got fuckin atomized, king shit, that's hilarious
I would have stayed in that universe too tbh
4. Ambessa
The single tear over Kino. Her love for her children at direct odds with her need for control. Her arc was explored so well
Died a warrior's death at the hands of her brilliant daughter, I know that's how she would have wanted to go
Also was very hot in every scene. Good for her (and good for me)
She just got a lot of love from the writers and I'm very happy to see that effort put into an older Black woman character
5. Mel
Speaking of gorgeous Black women
I was so worried she was going to get dropped but her ending was SO good
Her glow up with the gold is fantastic, she looks amazing in the white hood
Love that they gave her abilities that would inherently change her priorities AND gave her the throne of Noxus, I have high hopes that she'll be prominent in another show in the future
They made her such a powerful badass but still let her be merciful and forgiving. Absolutely amazing. She is the wolf
6. Ekko (?)
On the fence about him
LOVED the au scene. Perfect
And I loved that our boy savior got to be the one that set off the bomb that stopped Viktor
But he was kind of dropped otherwise? Like what happened with his tree?
Generally wish he had more development and screentime in this season
But I'm happy he was so pivotal to the climax
AND I'm happy he got to kiss Powder. He and Jinx would never have worked out
7. Maddie
Haha I never liked you. Get fucked you horrible little bootlicker. Typical cop
8. Singed
How come YOU get everything you want?
Fuck you.
Basically all my criticisms boil down to it feeling rushed overall. It's clear that they intended to have more time, and that breaks my heart. We all know Netflix's reputation for cancelling stuff out of the blue, and I've heard that maybe certain parties were unhappy with the depictions of gay romance and realistic social revolution. Whatever the reasons, I wish they had a third season, because I think they could have solved every problem I have with it. Regardless, it's an incredible work of art and very likely one of if not THE best animated series ever made.
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could we still get some Dahlia thoughts even tho she didnt win the poll? (also, I tried finding the fic for her yesterday but I cant find it, do you have a link for it?)
I got so excited seeing this it went straight to the front of the queue wjskkx LMAO. Dahlia hasn't been posted yet :3 obligatory tag for @hypnoneghoul
Dahlia was the oops baby of Swissalps. Swiss didn't even have ANY idea he was knocked up until he was 12 weeks. They had just gotten back from tour and Mountain had been BEGGING him to get checked out as obviously this wasn't a normal cold picked up from humans.
When he found out he just... Kinda paled. Him? Knocked up? There's no way in hell. Do another test... No, that one can't be right either. There's NO way! Ohh, but yes way. He ended up walking back to the den in a daze, finding Mountain and talking to him about the results. They talked for HOURS. Mountain completely neutral on any choice Swiss wanted, Swiss at a loss of what to do.
Laying cuddled up that night before he finally whispered he wanted to keep it. "Then we'll keep them... If in the end, we don't want them, we'll talk to the delivery team, okay?" Mountain nuzzling down on Swiss' neck. "Okay..."
They told the others pretty quickly, getting excited and supportive reactions! Papa even sat them down and had an equally long discussion about how they'd move forward for tours, etc! He was happy to start arranging accomodations and care, even saying how he'll start getting things for a nursery if that's what they wanted (they ended up asking him to wait a bit on that.)
You'd think Swiss was an earth ghoul from how frequent he got flowers in his hair, but they very much copied what he was feeling. Lilies when he was upset, roses when Mountain or someone did something really nice for him, or dead flowers when he wasn't feeling well or just in a bad depression rut.
One time he got mad at Cirrus for some reason, and as she went to follow him in the room, vines shot out from a nearby pothos they kept and completely closed off the entry. After that, it wasn't uncommon for vines to be covering Swiss like a cocoon when he wanted to be left alone or felt like he was in danger.
When he finally had their little daughter? Oh she was perfect in every way. Honestly looked a lot more like Swiss minus the hooves and her horns matching Mountain's. She loved chewing on her hooves a lot, biggest gummy smile ever, chewing on Swiss' braid.
Her name is Dahlia, and literally has the WORST bambi legs. Despite this, she's always had a knack for sports especially (American) soccer. Even as a kit would squeal watching the children of sin playing, or when they'd turn it to the American channel. When she was able to get leg braces? PHEW it was done for.
Just super loud, "Dad! Think fast!" And kick it towards Mountain, only to completely miss and break the window. "Oops..."
#the band ghost#ghost band#rabrev writing#swiss ghoul#mountain ghoul#ghoul kits#dahlia kit#cw pregnancy
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Warnings: Incest.
Sarah stared at the god awful wallpaper that was all over the dining room. Rose chose it. She changed most things when she moved in. Her taste was terrible compared to her mother's. All the warmth in Tannyhill disappeared the moment Rose moved in. Sarah wanted it back. She wanted to make it her home again.
Their home.
They had money now, and Rafe had left her in charge to redecorate. Had given her a small portion of their cut to make Tannyhill more homely. The rest was either kept in a safe place or invested in something to get more money out of it. They wanted to keep their previous lifestyle, and for that they needed the money to keep coming. They invested in something safe, and not too much more than the minimum. They had to be smart about it.
Rafe had wanted to use some of it to pay the debts that were all over Cameron Development, but Ward had signed the company over to Rose. Some sort of revenge for their betrayal. It was almost better that way, so they could star over. Besides, with their share of the gold and Rafe starting the process to access the fund left to them by their mother they didn't need anything from Ward. The Redfields had been the richest family on Kildare, and their mother was the last of them so everything went to her. And now that she was dead, everything went to her children.
The only bad thing was that it was taking a little too long, they weren't supposed to have it until Rafe turned twenty-four. Because he was supposed to go to college. Well, he did go to college, but he dropped out the first year. Another thing Rafe didn't like to talk about.
There were so many things he didn't like to talk about.
Like what happened in the Bahamas. The kiss. When Rafe kissed her. When she liked it. They returned home and they didn't talk about it. The summer ended and they didn't talk about it. Christmas passed and they didn't talk about it. But Sarah couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time he kissed her forehead or her cheek, every time he smiled at her, every time he hugged her she thought about it. Did Rafe think about it too? Did that kiss haunted him as it her? Or had he forgotten about it?
No.
He hadn't, she knew that. They slept in the same room, the same bed, and sometimes he murmured her name in dreams. She probably did the same, all things considered. But that was wrong. It should disgust her. They were siblings, they couldn't be together that way. They couldn't. No matter how much she wanted it, or how much Rafe may want it. So maybe it was better if they never talk about it. If the kiss just stayed forever undiscussed.
It's for the best.
With a sigh, Sarah wrote down the word wallpaper on her list. It was a list of things to buy for the house. It was pretty long already.
"What about a bigger couch?" suggested Wheezie from the other side of the table "The one we have is too small for the three of us, and it's also kinda ugly"
"Yeah, a couch"
Wheezie wrote it down on her own list, with one of her glitter pens.
"I don't really remember how it used to be" she commented sadly "I was like four when Rose began changing everything. How did mom have everything? There isn't many pictures of the house before"
"There are some, but they're up in the attic" she put down her own pen "Mom had it all very homely, like one of those Christmas commercials" she smiled at the memory of the fireplace and the lush carpets all over the floors "There were pictures of mom's ancestors over the walls, pictures of the house in the past. We were always running around, she didn't mind, unlike Ward. She used to organize parties during the summer nights and had her clubs coming over in winter"
Elizabeth Redfield was a member of the high society of South Carolina. People in the Outer Banks fought to befriend her, to be part of her book club or her painting club.
"Sounds so cool"
"It was. I'm thinking of putting the old pictures back on the wall and pictures of mom too"
Rose took everything down the moment she became 'Mrs Cameron'. Every trace of Elizabeth Redfield. Rafe and her kept some pictures of her in their rooms, but most was up in the attic.
"That's a great idea" Rafe appeared in the room. She had to turn her head to look at him "Yeah, let's do that. I've been thinking about it myself. 'Bout mom's old room. I think I'm gonna move there"
Their mother's room, not Ward's and Rose's, but the main bedroom of Tannyhill. No one had used it since her death. Rose hadn't wanted to sleep where their mother used to, so Ward and her took another room. Now Rafe wanted that one. The biggest room in the house.
"Oh?" did that meant he wasn't going to sleep with her anymore.
"Don't worry, you can come in any time"
Sarah smiled and rolled her eyes. She probably would put part of her clothes on that wardrobe, it was the biggest one. Wait...was he suggesting to make it their room?
"You two are weird" Wheezie wrinkled her nose and picked up her phone "Tomorrow after class I'm going to Sandra's. We're celebrating the last year of middle school"
"Not sure why you're celebrating that, high school is a nightmare"
"I don't really remember high school" Rafe squeezed Sarah's shoulder "Anyway, I got shit to do. It's time for bed, Wheez"
Wheezie frowned "I'm not a child, Rafe. I can go to bed when I want to, I'm almost fourteen"
"No, you go to bed when your legal guardian tells you to. Go"
"Ugh. You're no fun anymore"
"That's so rude" Rafe's hand wrapped around her neck, not squeezing or pressing, just lingering there. Sarah's heartbeat raced. Why? It was just her brother showing his care for her "Wanna come to bed?"
Her eyes widened, did she hear right?
"What?"
"To sleep, Sarah" he smirked, lifting his hand from his grip around her neck "What else would it be? I'm gonna hit the shower"
Sarah did the same, taking a shower in her bedroom's bathroom. Not even the hot water seemed to be able to erase the tingle on her neck were Rafe had wrapped his hand around.
She should sleep in her bed tonight, should stay away from Rafe. She didn't. She went straight to his room, to his bed. Rafe was still in the shower, he usually took his time. Or, jerking off. He didn't sleep around anymore, not like before. He never brought girls to Tannyhill and he never stayed the night somewhere else. It had been a couple of months since he had sex. That she knew, at least. So he was definitely jerking off. And who was in his mind while he did it? Maybe her.
No.
No, not her. She was his sister. He wouldn't think about her. That was wrong.
Like the kiss?
Rafe smiled when he saw her, right after he left the bathroom. He was clothed. Thank God. He laid next to Sarah, and hugged her close to his chest. It was always so easy to sleep like that. So easy to sleep with him. It always had been.
Rafe drove her to high school. Not Kildare Academy, no, but the local high school. She had quit the Kook Academy before summer ended and enrolled into the local high school. It was better that way. The kooks kept on gossiping about Ward, about her family, and they wouldn't receive her with open arms. They chose Topper's side after the breakup. So she went to Pogue School (that was what the kooks called it), because at least there she had actual friends.
The situation with the Pogues was better now that they had the gold. Even with John B things weren't terrible. He still wanted to get back with her, according to Kie, but hadn't made a move yet. Sarah hoped he never did. She really didn't want to hurt his feelings again.
"See you later" Sarah kissed his cheek and left the car "Kie is coming later to the pool. Did I told you that already?"
"No. The pool, really? It's winter"
"It's hot" she shrugged.
"That's the global warming" Kie joined her at the gates of the school, standing by her side as she nodded towards Rafe "Hey, Rafe"
They were cordial now, more than before.
"Hey, Kie" he greeted back "Guess I'll pick you up after school then. Bye girls!"
A slight smile decorated Sarah's face while she watched him drive away.
"How was the weekend?" Kiara asked, intertwining their arms as they walked to the door "Mine was insane, I mean, my parents are constantly on my ass lately. I can't believe that after all of it, everything with the gold, they still think I'm lying to them. Can you believe that?"
Anna and Mike Carrera were known for disliking Kie's friendships, they had always criticized her decision to befriend JJ, John B and Pope. They only liked Sarah, but that was because she was a kook and they thought she was a good influence on Kie. She really wasn't, but they didn't need to know that.
"Not to judge your parents or anything, but they are kinda classist"
"Yeah..." Kie accepted a little deflated "I can believe that from my mom, 'cause you know, she has always been a kook. But my dad? He was a pogue. He grew up on the Cut. I don't understand how can he act like that with JJ and John B, and shit, even Pope. And it's Pope, you know? Everyone knows he's good"
Sarah nodded along to her words.
"Who's good?" Sarah jumped back when she heard JJ's voice "Me?"
Pope, John B and JJ were walking by their side now. Pope was carrying his backpack and books, while the other two were carrying absolutely nothing.
"You?" John B chuckled "Nah, must be Pope. No one would ever describe us as 'good"'
"Yeah, we are talking about Pope" Sarah nodded "Because honestly you two are what can be described as 'No good'"
"Rude, Miss Cameron"
He had been very angry at her, JJ, when she broke up with John B. He had been even more pissed when she told Rafe about the gold, but now they were cool again. Hell, he was cool with Rafe even. Mainly because Rafe and her helped John B and him to gain the emancipation. So one didn't have to go into the system and the other didn't have his father spending all his money.
"She's not wrong" Pope joked.
"Hey, guys, Kie is coming to Tannyhill later, you wanna come with us?"
"Oh, yes" JJ nodded earnestly "It's really fucking hot lately, I could do with a pool"
"The ocean is right there and it's free. That being said, I'm in too"
"It's Rafe cool with that?" John B shifted, stopping himself before crossing the door.
Sarah thought it was the fact that he stood witness to what happened to Peterkin, the reason John B was so uncomfortable with her brother. Pope and JJ didn't have that problem, nor did Kie. They came over to Tannyhill and spend the afternoons there, sometimes studying, sometimes doing other things. Rafe wasn't particularly bothered by them either, he was nice even. Hell, he even shared his whiskey with them sometimes. Well, he did once, and Pope proceeded to loudly declare he was never having whiskey again. JJ liked it though.
"He usually is"
"Never complains when we go to study. Not even when JJ drinks his whiskey" Pope commented " Are you going to stand there or...?"
"No, no. Let's go to class"
And if the other students whispered things about her father, Sarah pretended not to notice.
The Club was almost completely full at that time of the day. Which wasn't surprising, rich people loved brunches. Especially the trophy wives, they spend the whole they at the Island Club or shopping. Or that was what Rose did most of the times, even though she did have a job and a business of her own. Which was not really her own, but something that Ward gave to her when they were still having an affair. She did manage it, but not on her own. Rose's real estate business was in cahoots with Cameron Development. To no one's surprise. So yeah, she was a trophy wife. And not one who did useful stuff.
Not like his mother. Elizabeth Redfield was always organising galas and charity events. She liked to help people, to help the island. And sure, what she had had been handed to her, she was an heiress, but she still did the work. She still managed her money and gave it to good causes. Unlike Rose.
Rose only drank wine and bought stuff, like every other trophy wife on that damn island.
"You're being weird lately, man" Kelce sipped his margarita. He loved that shit "Like, seriously. I get that you have to step up now that your dad is in prison, but all of this? It's a little too much, man"
Rafe raised an eyebrow. Honestly, he didn't know what Kelce was talking about. It could be so many things.
"What do you mean?"
"Really? Man, I get that you're clean now, but...I mean, how long has it been since you got laid?"
Months.
Nothing since the summer. Since before doing what he did. Since before the crime. And it was not like he didn't have any opportunities, because he did. Especially since he got the the gold. He wished he could say it was part of his efforts to stay sober, but it wasn't. It was because it felt like cheating. It felt wrong, only the thought of sleeping with someone who wasn't—
"A while" he admitted with a nod before taking a bite of his fried eggs "It's one of the pillars of sobriety: celibacy"
He didn't know if it was, but it could be. So far he did more drinking and smoking and managing stuff to keep himself sober. And thinking about his sisters.
"Sucks to be you. Like I'm genuinely feeling sorry for you"
Rafe chuckled "Thanks, man"
He had known Kelce since They were kids. Their mother's were friends. Well, everyone was friends with his mother, and every parents wanted their children to be friends with the son of the Redfield heiress. But Rafe was a difficult child, or so people said. Most kids didn't want to stick around him. He was too creepy, they said, either too quiet or too prone to tantrums. Except for Kelce. Kelce didn't give a shit about how creepy he was. Kelce just wanted to play hide and seek. And then he just wanted to play basketball. And after that he just wanted to go to parties or chill near the pool.
He was a good friend.
"Anytime"
"How's it going with Scarlett? She's still not interested?"
"Oh, shut up" he smiled "She'll come around"
"If you say so"
"So this... celibacy thing, is it forever?"
God, he hoped not.
"No, no. Just until a few months" a year. Two. He had no fucking idea. Until Sarah— "Then I'll go back to normal. Minus the coke"
"Good. 'Cause I think you'll go insane if not, man"
Yeah, that was probably true.
"Guys?"
His eyes rolled on their own when he saw Topper approaching. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with Topper. He never was lately. Topper used to be so funny to him, so so funny. Now that he was sober, he wasn't funny anymore. Funny how that worked.
"Hey, Top" Kelce greeted him with a smile "Aren't you supposed to be in college?"
"Oh, I'm taking a year off to learn from my grandfather. Gonna be a judge, like him"
"Good for you, Top"
"Judges do make a lot of money" Rafe agreed.
If he got to be one. It wasn't a sure thing, those studies were pretty hard. Or so he heard. He wouldn't know by experience, his one year in college was mostly about parties and drugs. And waking up without remembering what went down last night. That happened a lot.
"How's Sarah doing? Enjoying Pogue School?" There was some mock to his question that Rafe decided to pay attention to "Can't imagine it'll be easy to get into a good college from there"
"Sarah is going to Chapel Hill, like Ward and our mother did"
Topper showed his palm "Didn't mean any offense by saying that"
Yes, you did.
"None taken" he smiled tensely. Be civil. Be civil "Bye, Topper"
Something flashed through his face, disappointment of some kind. Rafe didn't care. It took a lot for him to actually care at times, and Topper almost never got him to care.
"Dude, you didn't need to be that rude. What went down between you two anyway?"
What, indeed. Nothing really, he simply bothered Sarah and in turn bothered Rafe. Lie. And, in addition, maybe he was a little jealous. Jealous that he got to be with Sarah, while he didn't.
"Nothing. Life, I guess"
Kelce hummed, the look on his eyes told him he didn't believe him. Of course he didn't. He knew him too much.
After having lunch with Kelce, Rafe went to pick up Sarah and Kie. But it wasn't only them he was picking up, apparently. Thank fuck he got the truck for that, because the Pogues inmediatly got in. Sarah on the passenger seat, and the rest on the back. JJ sat on the floor of the car due to lack of seats. He sighed.
"What are you all doing?"
"Sarah said we could come with you to Tannyhill" Pope answered, slightly kicking JJ who was at his feet "Right?"
"It's hot, dude, almost like it's summer. You have a pool"
"That's the global warming"
"Yeah, you said that like twenty times already, Kie"
"We live by the fucking ocean"
"Pools are cooler" JJ smiled "That's why they are making me one in my house. I'm going full kook, people!"
JJ chose to stay in that shithole that he grew up in, bought it from his father and remodeled the whole place.
"Right, and can't you buy a car for yourself? You're the king of spending"
"I'm not!"
"You do keep buying dumb shit" Pope side-eyed him "Why haven't you bought a car?"
"I bought a new bike. You're the one who keeps telling me not to spend all at once!"
"You're telling me that none of you bought a fucking car?"
Weren't poor people supposed to be practical? They sure weren't.
"I had the Twinkie fixed and bought a bike"
"I'm saving it"
He turned his head to look at Pope, a little incredulous.
"All of it"
Pope just shrugged "College is expensive"
"Not that expensive"
"Most people who win the lottery end up losing everything for making bad decisions with the money. I'm not risking it. I'll keep the money safe and use it only when it's needed"
"Fair enough" Rafe looked out of the window. The people were leaving the school grounds while they bickered "Alright, JJ and John B, grab your bikes and meet us in Tannyhill"
The two pogues stared at each other.
"Yeah, that's probably for the best"
"Good idea"
It didn't take them long to reach Tannyhill, John B and JJ following after him.
The Pogues made themselves right at home, like they usually did. Shit they even had clothes there, Kie specially. He didn't mind. Not really. It reminded him of the time when his mother lived. When Tannyhill was a vibrant place full of life and people. A better time.
Rafe laid down on his hammock, the winter sun warming his skin. It didn't burn, not like the summer sun, though he didn't doubt Kiara was right about the global warming. He definitely needed to invest in something to help with that, once he got the money from the fund his mother left.
JJ took a dive into the pool, splashing water all over Sarah and Kie and almost Pope who was holding a book.
"Be careful!" he shouted.
"Fucking hell, JJ!" Kie wiped the water off her face before frowning and jumping into the water herself "Come here!"
He turned his head to Sarah who laid on her hammock, listening to whatever John B was saying.
Fucking John B.
Rafe's eyes seemed to have a life of their own that day, glancing at Sarah's body. That bikini looked great on her. And that was definitely something he shouldn't be thinking about. That was his little sister. He held her when she was a baby. He told her bedtime stories. He played with her. He shouldn't be looking at her chest go up and down, and he definitely shouldn't be letting his eyes fall to her cleavage.
He swallowed and turned to Pope.
"What are you reading?"
"Dune" Pope raised his eyes from the book "Is a sci-fi novel, pretty good. You should read it"
"Oh" he knew that book. His mother used to have it on her nightstand. Had to be somewhere in the attic "I just might"
JJ laughed, Kie was on top of him, trying to push his head underwater.
"You guys know anything about your dad?" Pope put his book down "Like, how he's doing in prison"
"Nah. He hasn't tried to call me, I'm not surprised by that. He hates me"
"He has tried to call me a couple of times" Sarah commented as if it was the most natural thing in the world "I don't pick it up. I don't wanna talk to him"
And she never told him. Ward was calling her and she never mentioned. His jaw clenched.
After the Pogues left, Sarah felt as if the house was colder. Not because they left, but because Rafe was suddenly so distant. He didn't even look at her.
Wheezie called and said she was staying the night at Sandra's and that only made her feel worse.
Rafe had retreated to the office, the one that was Ward's but now was Rafe's. And honestly, Sarah couldn't stand the silence. She couldn't stand how cold he was now. How did she ever deal with it before?
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" she closed her arms over the oversized shirt she wore over her bikini "You are cold and silent. That's not you, Rafe"
He looked up from whatever document he had been reading.
"Why didn't you tell me Ward was calling you?"
Was that it? Was he jealous of the attention their father paid to her? Again? It wasn't her fault. She didn't mean for it to happen. She broke their relationship (No, it wasn't her. It was Ward), but that wasn't enough. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes. When will it be enough for him?
"This again? Are you once again blaming me because dad is a piece of shit?!"
Rafe growled, slamming the table and standing up. She jumped back.
"No! I'm pissed because you didn't tell me!" In tree strides he crossed the room, stopping when he was close to her. So close she had to crane her neck to look at his face. So close, she could feel the warmth coming from his body "I'm angry, because we are supposed to be in this together, but you are keeping secrets"
Sarah shook her head, trying to blink away the tears.
"I'm not keeping secrets"
"Then why didn't you tell me?!"
"I didn't think it was necessary. We don't really talk about everything"
"Don't we?"
Now or never.
"We don't talk about what happened in the Bahamas" she whispered "Do you wanna talk about that?"
"No. I don't wanna talk"
His hand closed around the back of her neck, like she was a misbehaving puppy, and her heart jumped. Sarah let him pull her closer. She let him kiss her.
#outer banks#obx#outer banks fanfiction#obx fanfiction#rafe cameron#sarah cameron#rafe cameron fanfiction#sarah cameron fanfic#rafe and sarah#rafe x sarah#shipcest#tw: incest
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I love him, and I love to hate him! Gin is a really wonderful villain. He's extremely skilled, extremely perceptive, and able to hold in that he knows something until the right moment — unlike a certain protagonist we know who just has to blurt out his deduction the moment he has it.
Example: Gin knew when Sherry was hiding in the fireplace — because he could hear her breathing! — but let her think she had escaped so that he could learn more about the situation and better confront her later. How many other times has Gin actually known more than he's let on? When Conan was hiding in the locker, did Gin really just coincidentally decide to stop looking right then — even with Conan breathing heavily right there?
Does Gin really forget the names and faces of the people he's killed? If yes, that's kinda cool in its own evil-zen way (and lol at the tag: #go ruthless guy with face blindness and shitty memory <3). But I also wonder if he really was being 100% serious when he said that, or if this is just another example of him being more aware of the situation than he's led us to believe.
Gin is also so so so horny to be an assassin. He's absolutely found his calling in life. He's got the classic car and the black trenchcoat and the long hair draped over the black trenchcoat because he doesn't even need to be subtle. And he's got the gun and the cigarettes and the cigarette lighter from his classic car and the cigarette smoke in the noir shadows... And he's gotten ever more impatient and homoerotic as the series has gone on. Which on the one hand is awesome, but on the other hand makes me a little bit worried that such a cool character as Gin is in danger of becoming flanderized for the sake of senselessly hot violence. He can maybe have a bit of senselessly hot violence sometimes, as a treat. Or as a character flaw, ooo, that would be awesome. But I think Gin would generally be much more into sensibly hot violence.
Example: Gin caught an FBI agent, stuffed his gun into the FBI agent's mouth, and asked the FBI agent if he'd be willing to spill the secret location? The FBI agent unintelligibly went murfmumrmah with the gun in his mouth. And Gin goes, hm? not willing to talk huh? And then Gin shoots the FBI agent dead.
Either: 1) it's a plotpoint that, actually, Gin doesn't need the secret location and this was all a ruse just for some sadistic fun! (hot and sensible, very good, yes). Or 2) Gin really does need the secret location but he got too horny to hold himself in check (hot but not very sensible and might veer into out-of-character territory if he does this sort of thing too often without it being addressed in some way!)
Like, this easily could be a flaw, and he has made other mistakes in the past that could be attributed to horny impatience (example: he made extremely predictable choices when ensuring the death of someone he really wanted to see dead). But if Gin keeps messing things up by being too horny, it's a bit weird that Vodka never comments on it (hey Aniki, are you sure that was a good idea?), it's never an issue for him, etc etc.
Gin messing up due to horniness is at odds with his other characterization of being so extremely perceptive and competent. He's also sadistic, yes, but you can't just throw his other characterization away for the sake of a sadistic scene. Unless you are writing it that way very much on purpose!! If written well, this would make Gin more complex and probably hint at the mode of his future downfall. But if written poorly, it could make Gin lose the cool characterization he had before.
So, ultimately, Gin is a character I love enough to worry that he might get flanderized! :X
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i get such a sense of primal envy when looking at edwin’s clothes up close because god you can just tell his coat is real wool and made to last and not cheap flimsy mass produced garbage and auggagghhhh that was just STANDARD in his time. by no means am i saying i was #borninthewronggeneration because i like having vaccines and household appliances but. man. to have a personally-tailored coat like that that’d last for years and years……. and fabrics of fine thread-dense quality………. if only
#edwin would be so disgusted by shein products can you fucking imagine#i mean he’d be disgusted by most mass produced brand/off-brand clothing but fast fashion shit like that would be the Worst#thank god for the fact that I don’t think anyone in the group would wear that kinda shit. for wildly different reasons#crystal wouldn’t because why the fuck would she. she can afford the most expensive high quality shit on the market. and even if she goes#thrifting you can just tell if something looks/feels like cheap garbage she’d not even touch it#niko’s a fashion icon and constantly changing her outfits BUT she seems like the type who loves repurposing old clothing/re-arranging things#in her wardrobe and making different combinations rather than buying new clothes all the time and wasting perfectly good clothing#plus she wasn’t raised in America and likely did not get normalized to fast fashion#charles doesn’t because. well#you know.#ghost. and whatnot#even so I doubt his parents bought him clothes that often so he’d have to either save up the money to buy stuff he wants (probably thrifted)#or repurpose old clothes in various ways. his coat absolutely looks high quality and I bet he saved up like crazy for it#rambling#edwin#dead boy detectives#edwin payne
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do you think the reason agatha’s trial felt weird is because she was the only one who did not actually buy into the mythos of the road since she knew the truth? like that was why no perspective change and all the other reasons why people thought it was a fake trial
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#txt#i really liked the idea behind how the witches road came to be#like showing her and nicky coming up with the lyrics and everything#but i felt like there was a lot of these last two episodes that felt weird or jarring#i think that’s partly the fault of it being such a short run time for the whole show in general (tbh that’s probably like most of it)#but there were just also weird choices? idk#like jen’s big declaration about protecting them in honor of Lilia or w.e and then just.. flying off to nowhere??#or the way Both billy and agatha kept switching how they felt about each other with like every sentence#I did really like her thing where she helped him get tommy a body though#and her and rios vibes were off too. like it felt like there should have been a little more build up before they fought after the road?#like when they were still talking on the road it felt like they could have done more with it#just like jen getting her powers back could have been more#or billy standing up for agatha could have been more#billy’s homecoming and attempting to banish agatha too#I liked that his parents were there but it was so quick and then he just.. leaves again?? no problem?? and I guess they’re fine with it now#like it felt like the things they did well. they did really well#while everything else felt.. idk.. kinda flat?#which honestly was the same feeling I had after watching agatha’s trial episode#honestly this show need at least another 3 or 4 episodes if not more#and I know people are going to make this all about agatha and rio but i really don’t think that’s the issue#i do think the story could have benefited more from showing more of their actual backstory or a few more interactions with them or just#like i said earlier done more with what they had. again that scene on the road before rio dips could have been used way more effectively#and I don’t mean in like having them be soft or lovey like I know a lot of people wanted (never be against that) but I don’t think it was#needed.. but Something was??#i feel like overall what everyone went through on the road didn’t actually truly effect them or change them?#like jen left. agatha and rio were like back to liek the road never happened. everyone else but billy is dead#i think the only person who was truly changed was maybe billy?#which makes the whole journey feel so unsatisfying? like things could still have ended the same while still showing them changed? idk
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Voted for Bumble bc of course but also if you think Alex would not pspsps Bumble you are wrong. If they could communicate they would go to therapy together /s
If then could communicate they would go to therapy together
/GEN
Kyle/Green Lantern resurrects her but then he becomes convinced that she's not the same person she was before the incident, OR SOMETHING SOMETHING Black Lanterns aren't ACTUALLY bad they're just misunderstood Grim Reaper types, in either case Alex ends up breaking it off with Kyle because they've become very different people.
And then Bumble's there
And then they go to therapy or Alex adopts Bumble, and then uhhh Bumble's like one of the superpets. Like Krypto the Superdog. Free premise go forth and play with it if ur a DC fan
#bone babble#Again I don't actually know a lot about the DC universe besides what my friend tells me#But also from reading into the Black Lanterns having them be evil sound like a WHOLE wasted opportunity#Lanterns are supposed to be emotions yeah? so why the hell are we downplaying the emotion of GRIEF?#There's a whole lot you could do with that actually. Death doesn't deserve to just be a villain of the week#And hell. You could explore some WILD emotions here about Alex becoming so much more than Kyle's tragedy#Can I still mourn you when you aren't dead?#What does it mean for me that the worst thing that ever happened to me has become an opportunity for her?#And... does this make me selfish for not being happy for her?#For not trying to understand the person she has become? for only thinking of how this impacts myself#RE: THIS IS NOT A DIG AT DC FANS#BUT I want to share that like... a reason I've kinda had a hard time getting into comics is because like... really interesting premises--#like that often get turned into Monster-of-the-Week struggles for the heroes to punch into submission#I've probably just seen really bad summaries or not found the editions that would appeal to me specifically#But it's kinda why the only DC hero I'm really interested in is Superman#Because a lot of his thing is that he's a good GUY#And that creates a lot of interesting moral questions#Like YES he's a good guy. YES he has no ulterior motive. But what if he DID?-- how can EVERYONE ELSE in the universe truly know that-#for sure?#And that's cool and I really like the snippets I've seen especially between him and batman#But anyway. so much fridging and misogyny in the world of comics has kinda turned me away from getting into it#because. VERY often. Misogyny can be... *tied* to a bit of a lack of imagination. Or empathy on behalf of a particular writer#RE: There is good stuff in DC PLEASE understand im not trying to be insulting
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I keep drinking coffee thinking it's gonna make me Productive and then instead of doing the work I actually have to do I just compulsively make spreadsheets :(
#my homework is. not done#but!!! i just realized if i take 2 spanish classes i can have a russian/spanish major instead of just russian#(it's complicated but this would leave me with: double major languages and history with a joint major in asian middle east studies)#(plus a minor in religious studies and concentration in islamicate studies)#first i gotta: relearn spanish for like the third time#but it's ok i'm hopping thru spain in less than a month so i should proooobably do that anyway#man when i was touring colleges my mom was like really dismissive about the idea of double majoring and now i'm here like#How Many Things Can I Stack Up To Get Big Number On Transcript#aaaaaaaand because of ames requirements i did the dumb thing and ended up learning persian while my spanish is still kinda iffy#итак совершилося то что я пытался предотвратить as they say#so i'm just gonna have to study two languages at once next semester... or just keep going thru the cycle of relearning them abt every year#my russian is a big girl it can survive on its own but i now gotta feed the babiessssss#tho ig what this kinda cyclically learning and forgetting spanish has taught me is like#languages are less like babies and more like those lil desert plants that wither up when they don't have any water#they might look dead but they're nearly impossible to kill completely#and will bounce right back after a lil care n patience. i just gotta like.... water em#the one thing standing in my way is ideological opposition to my spanish textbook#i have to pay $200 for access to a *website*#*i don't even get a book just a shitass ebook*#but it's ok one of the spanish profs likes me i think? i think she would let me skip the intro lit class#only problem is it was Genuinely Hard for me to follow along when i audited advanced lit... 90% of the class was heritage speakers#tho ig like. having taken a class meant for native russian speakers should help w learning to survive that kinda thing#genuinely i think i can do it#just gotta make that my goal. study. do it for zapata#and if i wanna go into translating... having good spanish should help right? like if i finally get b2 spanish?#yeah. if i could do kazakh history for native russian speakers i can do spanish lit for heritage spanish speakers. it's equivalent enough#but ok i'm gonna visit my buddy in spain who did nearly the exact same shitass majors combination as me#tho i think he did spanish/arabic for his language major and just Happens To Also Be Fluent In Russian cuz he's Like That#it's ok he's two years older than me i have two years to become that cool#he can tell me what to do
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i do not like when people say kaede would be a static protagonist if she survived the game like as if she wouldnt have 5 whole additional chapters for shit to be thrown her way and see how she'd change and adapt... plenty of writers have pulled off this idea with flying colors so idk why ppl say "ok but IN CANON kaede would just vote hope/despair in the end!" like LITERALLY WE DONT KNOW THATTT THOUGHHHH . shuichi was very different in ch1 compared to ch6 why is kaede exempt from this logic...............
#i legit think kaede would kinda go thru 'negative' development for a chapter or 2??#before smth causes her to lock tf in and drop that one-track mind naive mindset entirely she had in ch1#she would NOTTT be a good leader and ppl would quickly realize that and not see her as a reliable 'leader' type#after the death road despair#and finding out she went behind their backs with shuichi w their mastermind plan#who. well in most scenarios he'd be dead after ch1#usually thats how it goes#kaito would absolutely still play the role of a supportive friend for her like he did for shuichi tho thats just who he is#ugh i wanna write a kaede lives fic so badly but i have comorbid autism/adhd and a full time job and im mostly a visual artist#Sad! maybe someday#guys can you play touys with me (roleplay an entire rewrite of alt v3 where kaede lives so i dont have to write the whole thing myself#and we can get real weird with it)#anybody? no? thats fine.
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DID NEIL GAYMEN WRITE DBD
He wrote the comics yes
#i totaly didnt have to look it up#also was spelling his last name like that intentional#what if our last names were just our sexuality and our gender?#'hi everyone im kitty pangirl'#ngl that kinda work#also why do americans pronounce 'herb' as 'urb' it dosent make sense#and im pretty sure its called macaroni cheese#but heigh ho each to there own#but exer is still pointy full stop#therea nothing you can do abt it sirius black#(thats thr only time i will call you that bc in all truth i wrote the Sirius black threat at abt 1 in the morning)#i couldnt sleep (i was thinking abt dead gay boys)#so i was doing that and reading a jegulus fanfic ofc#anyway someone called me emo yesterday?#its bc i forgot my hairclip lmao#my friend did a 'makeover' on me#in the middle of the hall right outside maths#and she tried to so my hair#and it went all over my face#so i put my glasses on#and said i was cousin it#and then people came and started laughing#it was so weird idk#then she insisted to do a messy bun#but i refused bc 1. i hate having my hair up#and 2. i dont want to look like a chav#and then she started spraying my face many times#so i was just like 'scarlett stop pls'#so she sprayed almost he whole bottke#exer is pointy
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Going through the Utahim.e tag had me checking several times if at some point I had clicked on the G.ojo/Utahim.e one instead
#It's mainly the ship and mainly ship art. Very pretty btw. There's people with gorgeous styles there#There isn't even a lot of x reader fics haha I guess people don't want to bang Utahime?#Anyway... lowkey wished this happened with Ijichi lol#I so wanted Ijichi to mention or even hint at a mention of Gojo one last time like they did with Nanami#If nothing else for the weight of it all. The weight of feeling your youth dying piece by piece alongside the people who made it out#And everything it implies#Art of Shoko dealing with Gojo's death even in a cold way always strikes hard for that motive but I always love it#with pretty much everyone of those years. There was one piece I saw once that was not explicitly or necessarily romantic about Utahime#being hit by Gojo's death and I don't recall exactly how it was (I think I may have queued it?)#but it moved me more than any piece more clearly emotional that I had seen before#I don't know. I thought it held the potential of that. That weird uncomfortable heartbreaking feeling#of hearing bad news about old friends or classmates and how it makes you realise the weight of time#They suffered and accident. They tried to kill themselves. They are very sick. Their sibling or parent died. And you knew these people#You saw them daily for years. Maybe you weren't close but you knew these people. They cut my bangs when I was eight and I punched them#I tripped over them playing hide and seek and we both lost at the same time. We both hated each other's favourite teacher#They borrowed my pen once and then never gave it back. I once drenched them at the fountain after PE and it was winter but they laughed#Their mother got mad though. Now she's dead. We were made to sit together in French class in middle school. They loved to keep their hair l#Now they're sick and have lost their hair#Their little sibling was so annoying always trying to make us play with them during recess too. It was kinda cute. Now they're dead#I don't know. That kind of stuff#Utahime boosts Gojo and then he dies. Shoko opens him up to make a tool of his body#Ijichi accompanies another kid to clean after him in the meanwhile. And then the realisation hits. He is dead#He was annoying. He was my friend. He was so rude#He had such a sweet tooth. He laughed so loudly. He used to lean over people when talking with them#We were kids once. We are here now. He isn't here anymore. Some of us haven't been here anymore for a long while. It's been so long#He was still young. I am still young. We felt so old. At times it feels as if the time back then didn't happen at all.#And now he's dead and oh it's true he was so annoying but he also had such a sweet tooth. I forgot. What do I do with this memory now?#At times it felt as if the time back then didn't happen at all but then at times it shone through. He brought it back#He asked me a favour knowing I wouldn't betray his secret. He still teased the same way. He still leaned on people. But now he's dead#I don't know if I'm explaining myself well xD I think it's a pretty common emotion when it happens.Oh I forgot to censore words again sorry
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ouhhh i'm turning into my grandmother [chewing on wriggley's gum]
#just me hi#the wrigglerrrr#love the word wriggle btw. prolly cuz the W is there but ya can't hear or feel it hbhgbsh#it's like between wiggle and writhe and it's Perfect hfsh :3#//AAAnywho. yea#she's always got at least one in her purse and the wrapper is fully intact. i still don't trust it lmhvfjs#idk what that woman is putting in her bag !! she is a real enigma lol <3#/anywho like i mentioned a bit ago i've been keeping gum so i stop chewing on other things lol#this is working pretty well ! ! i've gotta remember to bring some on car rides though bc That's where i fail to catch it hghfsk#//aaaand in the other news;#watched the deadp0ol movies. dear lird hgkfjskvjg#very fun fact; when i watch stuff i like going in nearly 100% blind. i am also oriented aroace so HKSKVJ#i Did scour pirating sites until i found ones that let me watch the 3 movies lmaoo ; it took like 2 hours i think. crazy hghfs#anyway i think the first two were just a lot more fun; the energy was great !! disney kinda tuned it down for the current movie :/#iyunno. the second movie gave a lot more than the third. and also who are all these people. what's a multiverse lmvajfhvjs#the movie felt like it was on the edge of an inside joke. don't think i liked it very much compared to the other two but oh well#oh i also didn't like the time-reversal. dude what was gained gfhshv - 3rd movie doesn't even exist to me anymore. dead to me <//3#/oh i've also been watching seinfield when i eat lol :3#i was watching dungeon meshi while doing that and it was very relaxing so in the meantime!!#it's fun i like it lol :33 it's just mostly friendly but when i do think it's funny i am dying hfhvsbgh#i like kramer he is strange pfsvh#//and i think i'm gonna write rnnnn ? maaaybe!!#i have a bit of business to attend to tho [straightens my tie that just appeared] so prolly in a bit lol :)#toodles!! send me on my way !! [gets slingshot as the song plays]
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👹LEAVE AMERICA👹
#me knowing I’m going to be in america within the next 24 hours: 👀👀👀#sly tbh#this has to be one of my fave concert trends it’s so funny every time#and when the america tour has them all going DEAD QUIET for it#god this concert was so fucking good#sign of the times changed me as a person that song has meant the world to me since its release and hearing it live actually killed me#also he tricked us into thinking the show was done like fully some people started leaving and everything but he hadn’t done kiwi yet#which is one of my all time fave harry styles songs so I was like NO he HAS to do it#but kinda convinved myself it was done and he wasn’t going to AND THEN HE DID#so the vid of kiwi starting has me actually going feral it’s so funny#me and my mate have been going through our vids and she was just like ‘we’re very… enthusiastic’ bc it’s just us BELTING in each of them#it was sooooo good like sam fender was amazing bc it was sam fender and he’s one of my all time faves#but harry was good bc the stadium was insane and the atmosphere was great#and also I was seated for sam and standing for harry and being able to dance and be in the crowd makes SUCH a difference#ugh it was just so so cool i had such a blast. wembley got shut the fuck down tho it took us over an hour just to get to the tube#for context it’s supposed to be a 2 min walk like it’s WITHIN SIGHT of the stadium but there was literally thousands of us#insanity I loved it all. t-minus 5 hours before I get up for my 11 hour flight to america 🫶🏼 life is good atm fr fr#rwbt 2.0
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