#op always speaking the truth as usual!

[momonyu]

Happy Holidays & Have Fun Decorating! For Your OP In Colours, Can I Please Have Izou + Purple? Thank You Cee ♡~.

thank youu! i finished decorating yesterday and i'm so happy with how everything turned out (can you tell christmas is my favourite holiday lol)

persian indigo.

luxurious silk. porcelain complexions. naked touches. blushing cheeks. timid advances. shy smiles. a line that could be crossed any day now.

"izou, could you- oh!"

you burst into izou's room and regret it as soon as you do. izou stands in the middle of the room, a towel tied around his waist and his hair dripping water onto his bare shoulders.

"trying to sneak a peek?" he teases.

you flush, "oh my god, no. i should've knocked- i'm so sorry, i-"

you're fully aware of your babble but the part of your brain that stops you from doing embarrassing things is apparently non-existent. it's unfortunate that you're too busy stuttering over your words that you don't notice the tender way izou watches you.

you're cute enough to begin with but when you're flustered, izou thinks you're downright adorable.

"-anyway, i'll, um, come back later."

you start backing out of the door but izou calls out to you.

"it's fine. just stay," he motions for you to come in. "what'd you need?"

you take a deep breath, calming yourself. "i was going to ask if you could help me with my kimono."

izou smiles, and you can't help but smile back. he is ridiculously good at easing your nerves, which are currently running wild given the fact that he's barely clothed at the moment.

"of course."

you pass him the silk garment, "i tried asking jozu but all he did was put me in a strait jacket."

izou chuckles, a low and melodic sound, and your heart flutters.

"well," he winks. "you've definitely come to the right person."

you shake your head, "i don't know why i didn't come to you first."

"you should've," his fingers hover yours for a beat longer than they need to. "i'm always here for you."

there's a sincerity in his voice that makes you look up, and you stand there, enchanted by the way he looks at you.

on a regular day, izou's dark eyes are enough to leave you breathless, especially when he meets your gaze from across the room. but up close, it's a whole different story.

maybe it's the fact that this is your first time seeing him in his natural beauty. his long hair loose on his shoulders, falling over his eyes; his skin silky white, still dewy from his shower; and his lips — oh god, his lips.

even without his usual lipstick, his lips are a rosy pink and positively kissable. you wonder if they'd feel as soft as they look before you catch yourself — the errant thought leaves you blushing.

you hope he doesn't notice (he does).

"can you turn around for me?"

oh, thank god.

"sure."

you're relieved for the chance to avoid eye contact for izou, but for him, this is an entirely different test of self-control.

for all his flirting and teasing, izou tries very hard to still be a gentleman around you. you don't realize it but if he had it his way, he would've made you his a long, long time ago.

he slips the kimono around you, enchanted by the way it hangs off your frame. truth be told, he's barely listening to your story about jozu. when he moves your hair aside, he catches a whiff of your shampoo — a fruity, subtle scent. it smells divine, and he wonders if you'd taste even more delightfully so.

he works around you, taking his time, and your story starts to taper off as you lose focus. you've never realized how slender his fingers are, and — as they ghost your skin — you take notice of how gentle his touch is. even through your juban, your skin burns everywhere that izou touches you. it's electrifying and it leaves you craving more.

when you walked into his room, you hadn't anticipated how intimate this experience would be but standing in front of him now, you're painfully aware of it.

"almost done," izou speaks in a low whisper, his breath tickling your neck.

"already?"

izou spins you around until you're face-to-face with him again, and his hands stay on your waist.

"i could undress you again if that was too quick for you," his fingers tug at your kimono.

maybe it's the way he's gripping you that makes you more confident than you've ever been, or it could be your new carnal desire that makes you so bold but you place your hands on his bare chest in response. izou flinches at the contact and it only spurs you on.

"i just think" — you trace his abs and he sucks in a breath — "it's unfair for you to be so naked while i'm" — you bite your lip — "not."

and right there, izou snaps.

"i can change that," he growls.

he kisses you, as hot, passionate and hungry as you'd hoped for, pushing you back until your legs bump into the bed. the two of you fall onto his mattress in a mess of limbs and fabric as you race to undress.

needless to say, it's a long while later that you both emerge from his room with sheepish smiles and swollen lips.

as the two of you join up with the rest of the crew, izou smiles to himself; you're beautiful in your kimono but now he knows how much more beautiful you are out of it too.

thank you for reading!

[cerastes]

What are your thoughts of a possible Arknights event where you get to strategize against your own operators?

Like how W was a boss first but became an Operator, but it's you going against waves of Rhodes Island Reserve Ops (the no names) and occasionally Amiya or Texas or Kal'tsit + Mon3tr show up as the bosses.

I've thought about this, whether that be some sort of endgame "Doctor vs. Doctor" scenario or some what if event (something like PRTS replicating a perfect facsimile of pre-amnesia Doctor, or a battle-inside-the-mind existential showdown kind of deal, etc, plenty of ways one could provide context for this). Vigilo specifically made me think about this a lot, and I keep revisiting the concept in my brain palace now and then.

Regardless of how we get there, I'd love to see it. Personally, I'd lean into the vs. Pre-amnesia Doctor angle. Enemies would never really be referred to by name specifically, but gameplay and sprites would make it obvious, or at least indicative, as to who they are. Every enemy unit would have some sort of fuzzy mosaic effect covering their face.

Mooks would be Reserve Ops and the sort of RI/Babel Operator we see in cutscenes, the good ol' generics. Given how much Pre-Amnesia Doctor has been likened to a machine-like chessmaster, I think chess terminology would be fitting, although it needn't be used exclusively, especially for whenever it would be thematically appropriate not to use it. Generic footsoliders would be "Pawns", for example, and would very clearly be wearing Rhodes Island uniforms and colors (blue and black colors, mix of tactical gear and urban clothing). You'd have other more advanced units like snipers (Bishops), specialists (Knights), and hard-hitting, beefier units (Rooks).

There would be plenty of boss/midboss units, and their "tooltip" (the little pop up that appears mid-stage when a new units is introduced) would be entirely narrative. For example, you'd have:

'Ever-Marching Bulwark' - "The giant that carried the world if ordered to. No matter how grim the situation, he would always find a way to dispel the miasma." -> Ace. Effect: [Bulwark]: Ranged units will prioritize him if he's in range. Requires 2 Block to block. [Castled King]*: High HP, DEF and RES; Physical damage will raise his DEF, but decrease his RES. Arts damage will raise his RES, but decrease his DEF. *"Castling" is a chess technique used to protect the King.

'Unsung Champion' - "The hero killed and loved silently, like the shadow of a dear ghost. He could spot weakness in enemies as easily as virtue in friends." -> Scout. Effect: [Gaze of the Wraith]: Uses Ranged Physical attacks with no limit on range. Every 4 attacks, the next attack will target the unit with less DEF on the map. The amount of attacks needed to trigger this special ability decreases by 1 each time it is activated, also increasing damage dealt. Resets upon changing targets. [J'adoube]*: This enemy's route is determined by the number of allied units (the player's units) in its path. Unsung Champion will warp to the route with less units overall (melee and ranged) between it and the Defense Point (practically speaking, it checks every couple of seconds and warps to a tile equivalent to how much progress he's made). *"J'adoube" ("I knight"), or "adjust", is a special call in chess where you are letting your opponent know you're about to move a piece in the board, usually to center it on its square or if it gets otherwise displaced accidentally.

'Selfless Sage' - "Some could call her nosy, some could call her foolish, but the undeniable truth is that even if it dims her own fire, she'll fill this world with as much light as she can." -> Kal'tsit. Effect: [Selflessness & Spite]: Heals enemies at long range. Prioritizes 'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut', then 'King's Pupa', then 'The King', then Leaders, and finally regular enemies. [Remorse & Rebirth]: Upon reaching 50% HP or if all active Leaders are defeated, spawns 'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut'.

Making a cut here due to post length.

'Sage's Obsidian Juggernaut' - "A force of nature as unstoppable as it is unexplainable, not dissimilar to the Sage herself." - Mon3tr. Effect: [Meltdown]: The Juggernaut's Ranged attacks deal True Damage in a line, piercing through the targeted ally and hitting those behind them, leaving a damage over time effect for a few seconds. The Juggernaut's Melee attacks deal high Physical damage. After being hit a number of times (10), the Juggernaut's next attack will deal increased True damage and afflict the target with a longer damage over time effect that stacks. [Fallout]: Enemies defeated by True damage instances of the Juggernaut have increased redeployment time.

'Scholar's Mate'* - "Unusually durable and tenacious pieces. They can be reused, over and over. Useful in disrupting enemy tactics." -> W (Ranged Physical), Ines (Ranged Arts), and Hoederer (Melee Physical). They spawn at the same time. [Kriegspiel]**: All 'Scholar's Mate' must be defeated roughly at the same time, otherwise, they revive at 50% HP after a delay. [Queen's Gambit]*: The red-horned 'Scholar's Mate' plants bombs on three units in range, detonating after 3 seconds. Units defeated by this attack or an attack shortly after [Queen's Gambit] have increased redeployment time. [En Passant]*: The black-horned 'Scholar's Mate' presence in the battlefield slows down DP generation by 50%. Cannot be blocked, but moves slowly. [Albin Countergambit]*: The male 'Scholar's Mate' presence in the battlefield reduces SP Recovery rate by 30%. Attacks halt target's SP recovery momentarily, and don't reward SP to "Defensive" type Skills. *Various chess moves. **'Kriegspiel' is also known as "blind chess", in which two players play against each other 'blind', that is, they can't see the opponent's pieces. For this purpose, a third person, an umpire, is necessary to oversee the game.

'The King' - "The embodiment of tomorrow, incarnation of our hopes, and our dearest friend." - Theresa. Effect: [Noblesse Oblige]: Raises the ATK and DEF of every enemy in the field. Effect increased for Leaders. [Civilight Eterna]: Swings sword in a circular area around herself, dealing high True damage and reducing Max HP and DEF of allies hit. Leaves a [Regal Pulsation] behind on each use. [Regal Pulsation]: Every time 'The King' uses [Civilight Eterna], [Regal Pulsations] activate and replicate [Civilight Eterna] wherever they are. Can stack on top of each other. [Dead Position]*: 'The King' pours powerful Sarkaz Arts into the closest Ranged tile to her position, inundating it with dangerous Arts and rendering the tile unusable for the rest of the map. Immediately retreats the unit standing on the tile, and starts spilling onto other tiles. If there's Operators standing on these tiles, the spread is halted and they receive Arts damage continuously. If there's no Operator in the tile, after a few seconds, [Dead Position] spills over and makes that tile unusable. Can spill to Melee tiles. All [Dead Positions] vanish and become reusable if 'The King' is defeated. *A "dead position" is a position where neither player can mate the opponent’s king with any series of legal moves. Effectively a draw.

'King's Pupa' - "With time, she, too, can be a king." -> Amiya. Effect: [Chimera]: 'King's Pupa' slowly charges SP over time. Receives SP each time an enemy is defeated and each time an ally is defeated. Once SP is full, activates [Pawn Ascension]. [Pawn Ascension]*: 'King's Pupa' turns into another 'The King'. Avoid this at all costs. *Pawn ascension or pawn promotion is when your pawn reaches the other side of the board in chess and you can promote it into another piece, such as a rook, bishop, etc. Most players, of course, promote their pawns into queens.

'[NULL]' - "[CLASSIFIED INFORMATION. CLEARANCE IS INSUFFICIENT TO ACCESS THESE FILES. IN CASE OF ANY ERROR OR QUESTIONS, CONTACT THE SYSTEM ADMINISTRATOR]" -> Doctor. Effect: [Resign]: '[NULL]' only appears after every other enemy has been defeated. No attacks, slowly trudges forward. They must be defeated to put an end to this. It was a good game.

I really would like to see the idea, the concept, of the current Doctor quite literally having a showdown with their past, current tactics vs past tactics, current ideals vs past ideals, to prove that today's idealism isn't mere bluster, that one needn't rely on sacrifice to get to the finish line, that we can all get there, we simply need to find a way, because it'd be not only a showdown of morality and to prove one's growth, it'd also entail having to defeat the shadows, plural, of the past, regrets, joys, all of it. Uproot the old, and change for the better, even if it means having to say one final farewell to beloved friends. Even if it means testing yourself against yourself, and them. It's because you would test yourself against yourself that it means something, after all.

[qumeth]

UGH IM A SUCKER FOR SOFT! SIMON AND I LOVE MARINE BIO/SCIENCE SO LET ME HAVE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There were perks and disadvantages for being a Marine science major. Some days you got to get on a small boat and travel off the coast, taking samples of corals, waters, plants. But the disadvantages were not always feeling usually, yours friends studied law or poli-si, people always wanted their thoughts on things, for advice, for job opportunities.


but for you, you sat around, during small internships at Aquariums or research labs, but a low feeling in you gut felt like you weren’t worthy. Your mind got the better of you, a lot of the time.

Simon is a special OP soldier who protects and saves. You admired him, your eyes always trained on him as he did basic things. People loved his stories, some from war, others from his time with his task force at their base. You felt as if your stories didn’t add up, the stories you thoughts were funny or interesting either made people confused or just “boring”

Boring. You hated that word, it was a jab at your feelings and goals. The word had stuck with you since you were in high school, when you showed your passions for Marine science. People thought it was cool but it was nothing they could really care about.

Simon though, his lips with turn up the second you would come home from a boat ride.

There he sat on the couch, drinking a cup of tea as he watched the TV. You half-expected him to watch an action movie or something in his interests. But his eyes were glued to a marine documentary, a note pad on his lap, little bullet notes of different things.

Your heart seized up, a warm, fuzzy feeling.

You quietly placed you bag down by the front door and slipped off your shoes and put on a pair of slippers. I walked over him, behind him as you wrapped your arms him as you nuzzled into his warm skin.

He turned around, eyes brightening as he saw you. With a move of his limbs he pulled you over the back of the couch and into his arms. His large arms held tightly onto you, His thumb rubbing circles into your back as he relished in your body.

“How was the ride?” He asked warmly, his light eyes looking at you.

“It was pretty nice, was able to see some eels and a baby octopus” You tell him as you adjust yourself to sit on his lap. He hummed in response, his face nuzzling into your neck.

“Tell me more” He says, brushing some curls out of your face so he get a better look. You smelled of salt water and rain, it made Simon happy, it smelt of you, his home.

“you wouldn’t find the rest interesting” You dryly laugh. You laugh as his eyelashes tickle your neck, he groans

“Of course I will, been watching all these documentaries you had mentioned. I can understand more of the stuff you like”

If your heart hadn’t melted yet it did just then. His deep care for you, for you field, for you passion. Your face flushed, becoming warm as you bite your cheek a little bit.

“You watched those? I mentioned like 6…they’re all like, 2 hours” You mention, a happy look across you features. He nodded “You were gone since yesterday morin’ needed to do something, plus I wanted to be able to understand all yer’ science stuff” He explains “So explain” He orders.

With a sigh you begin to explain “we were able to dive and pick up lots of waste that was flooding some of the reefs, took some samples and tested them, water is doing better, it’s becoming less acidic; which means plants are growing better so the organisms are able to struggle less and reproduce” You explain, hoy words flowing with confidence as you speak, your words not stuttering like you some times did when you explain things.

“That’s amazin’ really. I’m so proud of you hon” He praises, his words speaking truth.

you blush, his words making you feel like floating in the clouds. You look over at him and kiss his cheek. A quiet “thank you for listening to my nerd stuff”

Simon leans back and Kisses your lips, his stubble against your cheek as your lips meet each other. His minty chapstick making you squeeze you face tight, a bright difference to the the mango-coconut one you’ve used for the past three years of your life.

He chuckles at your reaction, making him gross your face and kiss you more, peppering kisses all across you face. Every mark, freckle, indent on your face he kissed, not missing a single spot. He kissed the fishing hook scar on your cheek, the healed scar being one of his favorite things of your face.

“I ever tell you I caught a big ass merlin on one of my first fishing trips?” He says.

“oh shut up no you didn’t! You fished three times in your life Simon” You laugh, not fully convinced of his words. He just hummed “Three times a charm” and slyly says.

You shut your eyes and lean against him, he rocks himself slowly, holding you softly as he rubbed your back. You felt so tired.

“You slept at all?” He asked quietly, making sure his voice is low. His words sound like warm honey. You shake your head.

“You know me, slept three hours” You say quietly. His hands keep rubbing your back, making you feel more and more tired as you yawn.

“Go to bed, I’ll carry you up” He says. You number a complaint but it was on deaf ears as he cradled you. Dispute your efforts you feel a slumber.

Your dream was a simple. Floating in the vast ocean, creatures swam over you, some came by, a seal, then a bloom of jellyfish. Your head turned and Simon was there, watching your in awe, his hand in yours.

[morpheus-the-sandman]

how did each of you came to be?

OK so this took me a bit to awnser I had to cook but I don't know yet for some how they came to be I still need to think about that anyhow here are some I can share plus a vid

Crow does some chirp noises and sounds* (by the way that's how he speaks in squeaks in his au he talks normally)

:" oh well it's a bit complicated basacally a child had the fear of thair closet and by that fear I got born wich dosent mean I'm bad it's just this usuall story people talk about you know the monsters under you're beds and in you're closets I'm not bad in anyway Im just in the closet or under the bed to look after the children but they always see me as scary so I just stay quiet and not say anything out of fear I don't want to startle them..

Comfort star : "oh OOO well I remember I was once the toy from my owner she was a girl she always cared for me and looked after me she was pretty young like uhm I don't know how young "*she shrugs*" i think her parents threw me away and that's where I kind of woke up in this new body " she giggles *" i flew around and got back to her to comfort her but I had to leave again soon I still visit her trough she's older now but as I was flying around I found another opposite me ?? Well she looked a bit like me and we shared this connection today I call her my sister " she explained smiling

Comfort stars sister OP Sally belongs to @2-b-frank

Ivy:" ugh well fushigi found me and just kidnapped me"

Fushigi " hey that's not the truth you came to me after I found you because you wanted to stay with me you grumpy gremlin"

Ivy " he's lying don't listen to him I'm still in his basement"

Fushigi " HELLO??? STOP MESSING AND LYING YOU'RE RIGHT HERE BESIDE ME"

Ivy " no im not" * eats his chips loudly while watching TV *

Fushigi *" anyway uh as for me and morph -"

( pause to read )

Morph :" both of us got born by a good dream " he said smiling flapping his wings*

Songs used : Varsangen / I used the version from Louixie and you'll be in my heart from the movie Tarzan

Peacekeeper belongs to @arikihalloween

[enbyleighlines]

Leigh plays Tellius prt 10

It's time to lay siege on Daein Keep!

Also, I love how quickly these racist Daein men change their tune as soon as they have a dragon on their side. Keep in mind, they believe the entire reason they went to war with Crimea was to apply sanctions for the Crimean nobility creating an alliance with a "sub-human" nation. But it's okay as long as the laguz is on their side, right? I love how this game isn't afraid to show just how hypocritical people can be.

Ena was super brave for this, imo. She couldn't be certain that they wouldn't all turn on her the second they realized that she was a laguz. I really love her character.

Damn, I always forget how OP Mist is once you give her a sonic sword. It's too bad there aren't swords that do magic damage in RD, or else Mist would have swept the floor with everyone.

It was here that I had my first perfect level-up! Oscar, my man, you never disappoint. He continues to be at or above average for all of his stats, except for strength. Gosh, I love this guy. I mean, I'd love him no matter what, but the fact that he's succeeding so hard is a wonderful bonus.

I kind of hate the implication that Tauroneo assumes that Mist cannot learn or pass down Gawain's style of swordsmanship. Not only is it sexist, Mist can use a sword!

But whatever. I have Tauroneo now I guess.

In any case, this map was smooth sailing. I swiped all the treasures, and wiped out all of the enemies without issue.

I did intend to draw out the Ena fight to get as much exp as possible, but Ike decided to Aether her TWICE in the first round. So that was a touch disappointing.

Here we go with Ashnard's core philosophy again. I do kind of find it ironic that, according to how the game works, Ashnard is 100% accurate. If I want to win the game, I need to get my characters exp, which comes from fighting enemies. And if I leave a unit on the bench too many times, they will fall behind, because the enemies we face get a little stronger on every map.

That being said, I still want an essay on Ashnard's world philosophy, how it relates to certain philosophies in our world, and the way the story handles it.

I love how absolutely petrified (heh) Petrine is in this scene. In every scene before this one, Petrine is a villain with the utmost confidence in herself. But in this scene, Petrine is so intimidated by Ashnard that she can barely speak. It's interesting to see a different side of her.

Yes, Ashnard is irredeemably evil. I do appreciate his sass, though. This line always gets a hearty chuckle from me.

Zelgius!!! Honestly, I could barely take this scene seriously, because I kept remembering the ongoing bit in Jello's PoR stream where Ike has a huge crush on Zelgius. For all Tellius fans, this is a must-watch.

Titania continues to be tired of Soren being a sourpuss all the time. I love Soren with all my heart, but I do imagine his constant cynicism can get annoying, especially in such a tense atmosphere.

That being said, Soren is right as usual. Really, Soren's main role in this game is to speak the truth that no one else wants to hear. And luckily, Ike actually appreciates Soren for it.

Like, sure, a lot of what Soren says is harsh, sometimes even cruel. But it all comes from a place of him wanting to protect others.

Aaaand, that's the siege on Daein Keep!

Next time, I get to play some tetris with some knights and finally, finally, FINALLY recruit Ranulf.

[twistedtalking]

"A Hero would sacrifice you for the world"

Stoic. Strategic. Secretive. Always businesslike, Always poise. Unfeeling.

Those are words used to describe Mayuu, the Ramshackle prefect and the head of the Overblot Protection and Prevention Administration, OPPA for short. With her group of hand-picked, qualified young men, she defeats any overblots that cross her path.

But no one is without secrets, without weakness. And if you earn her trust, she may share some of them. Specifically business-related ones only, of course! This little lady keeps her cards close to her chest.

She is usually found snooping around in the campus or scheming in the Ramshackle meeting room, the old Ramshackle dormhead's room. If not, then you can assume shes in one of her part time jobs. Though at times she lingers close to the light music club room. Probably to check up on Lilia or Cater. No other reason, right?

"Shall We Collaborate?"

Anons and Mayuu:

Part 1

Part 2

Interaction with light magic trio

Giving her a hug

Persona: Mayuu

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 17

Dominant hand: right

About her: she knows the future? From simp to strategist. How did she do it??

Greatest fears(?): plans going awry, Annie, truth or dare

Fun tidbit: As intelligent and strategic Mayuu is, it comes as a surprise that shes barely passing school. "As the OPPA head, there are much more important things to focus rather than studies", said she. Yet in truth, Mayuu would much prefer battling 2 insanely op overblots to a pop quiz in Animal Linguistics. Though, at the very least, she has better grades than Deuce.

Not-So-Fun tidbit: Often times, she locks herself up inside her room. Most presume she does it to keep her future plans secret, safe from prying eyes. Yet some say they heard whimpering from the other side of the door, accompanied with a foreign melody.

Backgroud:

Just your average twst simp, with an average family who loves her unconditionally, an average state of life, an average everything. This average person was isekai'd to NRC. So how come...

"It seems I'm finally here."

OPPA members (yes, they get paid):

Ace and Deuce (official) (on-field soldier)

-Mayuu's left and right hand, respectively

Cater (official) (info gatherer/spy)

-Reports every little movement of everyone

Trey (I was dragged here) (on-field soldier)

-leads the team on-field in unplanned situations

Lilia (strategist)

-he is an ex-general after all

Jack (official) (on-field soldier)

Epel (official) (on-field soldier)

Sebek (official) (on-field soldier)

Ortho (official) (on-field soldier) (negotiator) (brawn) (info)

Octatrio (known collaborators) (not part of OPPA)

Magic Yuu AU

Unique magic: Tattoo Tango

Incantation (text above):

All the burdens that you carry

All the voices that I carry

Horrible painful voices that I speak

Before we go to sleep

"Tattoo Tango"

Tattoo Tango lets the wielder insert voices in the target's conscience. If the wielder is close with the target or is highly informed of the target's critical weakness, the wielder could accompany images with the voices. Sensory images, like the ripple of the ocean or the heat of the scalding sands, will be created.

An unfortunate side effect though is the user experiencing the same thing as their target. Their pain, their despair. And Mayuu uses this to her advantage, to make sure the overblot would happen where no outside party would be affected.

Another physical side effect on the wielder is that whatever image they created shall be imprinted on their chest, maui style.

But one must be careful when wielding such powerful magic. For if the image is too concrete, the wielder's soul may enter the illusion, leaving their body unconscious.

Redraw:

It is semi-based off Maui's chest tattoos from Moana. It tells a story, which matches this storyteller's heart. It is also based off that one mental breakdown I had in high school.

[sophieinwonderland]

About the "basic DNI" post:⠀

"— you think white people can be oppressed for being white"

I get the feeling OP hasn't been outside the western part of the world. White discrimination is real factually speaking, although very rare in the west (for the obvious reasons that white people are the majority and hold most of the power). Leave America and Europe however and you can find discrimination against whites in some places to varying degrees. Usually not as big as against black in the west, but white people aren't always considered equal to the rest of the population. I would say that counts as oppressed.

"— you think men can be oppressed for being men"

Ah yes, because men are not oppressed when they are told to shut up when showing their feelings and crying, or are expected to be the last to abandon a sinking ship, or are almost always at a disadvantage when fighting for custody of their child no matter how bad of a person and parent the mom is. (I have even seen this personally in regards to custody of my younger brother as my dad's ex-wife, my former stepmom, claimed my dad was an alcoholic, yet instead of the court asking her for proof when he was pretty obviously not an alcoholic, my dad was the one that had to prove his own innocence. What kind of shit is that...)

Yeah, that DNI list is trash written by someone who doesn't know how the world works.

You know, on the last point, I do wish it wasn't overlooked how patriarchy inherently oppresses both genders. Women definitely have it worse, but the whole concept of gender roles just restricts both in different ways.

Patriarchy is complicated, bad for everybody, and that needs to be talked about more.

As for race, yeah...

I think "white people can't be oppressed for being white in white-majority countries" is a reasonable position. (I have minor qualms with it because countries aren't monolithic and there can be systems of oppression within larger systems of oppression, but that's a discussion for another time.)

But just a flat, "white people can't possibly be oppressed anywhere or any time" just feels ignorant.

Maybe this is my autism talking, but "DNI if you think white people can be oppressed" also comes off as a bit white-supremacist to me. I know it wasn't intended that way. But it feels like it inherently establishes white people as oppressors and everyone else being the oppressed as just some sort of... intrinsic truth. It's not just that a long series of cosmic dice roles happened to end with people of European descent spreading across the globe and being the most successful colonizers. Now it's that this is the only possibility. An inevitability of the world across every timeline that will always be true forever.

It's not merely the position that white people aren't oppressed in these specific countries in this specific fleeting time period that is but a blink in the eye of the existence of mankind, but that white people just can't be oppressed, ever, under any circumstances.

[highwaytothedangerzone502]

Foxtrot Alpha Alpha - Chapter 3

Pairing: Hangman x Female OC

Word Count: 1694

Warnings:

Summary: Hangman learned his lesson a long time ago to never show his true feelings when someone's words or actions hurt him. To do so showed weakness that could be exploited, and Seresin men couldn't show weakness. Of course, there was an exception to every rule, and Jake's always came in the form of women, three in particular: his mom, Juliette Kazansky, and the girl whose name he could no longer bring himself to speak. She was the girl that got away; she was his biggest 'what if' and his biggest regret; she would forever be the ghost that haunted his dreams. Jake believed that's where she'd stay, for he would surely never see her again after what he did.

Or so he thought.

Notes: This is the sequel to India Lima Yankee; I'm using the same callsign for the Female OC as in Ghost Story because I just really like it, but they are different characters; chapters in italics are flashbacks.

Chapter Songs: Don't Stop Believin' Half of My Heart

****

Juliette

As the night continued, the tension in Hangman became more and more prominent. Juliette noticed the tightness in his posture compared to his usual relaxed stance, the well-hidden wariness in his green eyes, and the way he avoided Ghost by standing opposite wherever she did. His gaze rarely left her, but he watched her more like prey waiting for the hunter to strike. That, in particular, unnerved Juliette. Nothing rattled Hangman, so who exactly was Ghost to him to make him react like that?

He stuck to playing pool, and although he laughed and joked with the Daggers, his smile never reached all the way across his face like it usually did. Juliette fought back the urge to drag him away from the group and force the truth out of her friend but now wasn't the time. He would tell her when he was ready.

"I heard some of y'all went on a hell of a mission," Ghost remarked, taking a sip of her beer. 

"And some-" Juliette eyed her fiancé- "decided a death-defying mission wasn't enough and decided to steal an enemy jet with his dad."

"Says the girl who helped my dad steal a different jet to prove a point to an admiral and escaped punishment without so much as a slap on the wrist," Rooster countered, wrapping his arms around Juliette's waist and kissing her cheek.

"I still want to know what kind of favors people owe you," Payback said, pointing at her with his empty bottle, "and who all owes you favors."

Juliette grinned. "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you, and I like having you around."

"What about you, Blackwood? What have you been up to?" The question, surprisingly, came from Hangman. All eyes flicked between him and Ghost, and despite the cacophony of the crowd surrounding them, a deathly silence settled in, causing Juliette to think: Seriously, what the hell is going on here? 

Ghost took the pool stick from Payback and lined up to take a shot. "Mostly black ops, but that's what ghosts are good at. Doing things without being seen and disappearing when needed," Ghost replied, nailing the shot. She set her sights on another solid, which missed going into the pocket by a hair's breadth. "You? Lead anyone else to their watery grave?"

Hangman's playful grin shifted into a fake and guarded smile, easily mistaken as a genuine one for those who didn't know him, but Juliette did.

"He stopped Mav and me from crashing into ours, so I guess you could say he saved our lives," Rooster said casually, coming to the shocking defense of Hangman. Then, apparently unable to resist, he joked, "But you'll never get me to admit that again."

"It's okay. I have witnesses to corroborate the statement. I'm going to get more drinks. Want anything?" Hangman said, striding up to them and stopping next to Ghost. Juliette requested a lemonade while the others asked for another round of beers. Hangman faced Ghost, his chest nearly touching hers they stood so close. "I'd ask you what you want, but I already know."

Winking at her, he backed off and disappeared through the crowd. Ghost stared after him with an infuriated glare. Juliette craned her head up and whispered in Rooster's ear, "Are they going to fight or fuck?"

"Depends on which one you ask," he responded, his hands moving to cradle her stomach. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good. Thankfully the nausea has disappeared for now."

"Well, if anything changes-"

"I'll let you know." Juliette pecked him on the cheek. "I do, however, need the bathroom. I'll be back."

Sliding off the stool, she hurried to her intended destination. On her way, Juliette noticed Hangman standing outside on the phone. Figuring he must've received a call on his way to the bar, she ignored it, rushing inside the bathroom before her bladder burst. While she washed her hands, a wave of dizziness hit her. Juliette gripped the counter and ran one of her wrists under the cold water, attributing the dizzy spell to the fact that she might melt in a puddle it was so warm in the Hard Deck. It took a few minutes, but the dizziness passed, and Juliette felt safe enough to move. She'd keep this quiet from Rooster. He worried about her enough.

Juliette stepped out of the bathroom and began heading to the Daggers when she noticed Hangman still standing outside, but instead of talking on the phone, he stared at the device in his hand. After his earlier interactions with Ghost, Juliette's concern for him diverted her path toward Hangman. Stepping outside into the cool air, a welcome sensation compared to the stifling heat of the Hard Deck, she shuffled quietly to his side. 

"I'm pretty sure you order drinks inside," Juliette joked lightly, causing Hangman's head to snap up. 

A genuine smile spread across his face. "What are you doing out here?"

"Needed some air. I also noticed you hadn't joined the Daggers yet, so I thought I'd check on you."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Got an unexpected phone call."

Juliette raised a brow at him. "I can't tell if it's good or bad."

His smile finally faltered. "It's a family thing. Long story."

"As long as your story with Ghost?"

Hangman sighed, shoving his phone into his pocket. "I was wondering how long it'd take you to interrogate me about that."

"If you don't want to talk about it, I won't push, but her comment earlier about you leading another person to their watery grave... it seemed out of line."

"Maybe, but it's not a lie. Hell, it's practically the same thing Rooster said to me when we met at the Hard Deck the first night we arrived for the training detachment. But hey, nothing I can't handle. Still doesn't equate to the verbal beatdown you gave me after I antagonized Rooster that one day."

Juliette chuckled, sitting on the bench when another bout of dizziness hit her. "That feels like forever ago."

"It certainly does," he agreed, sitting beside her. Hangman slipped off his jacket and placed it around her shoulders when he noticed her shiver. "How are you doing? Where's your shadow?"

"Don't call him that," she said, laughing and lightly kicking Hangman's leg. "Rooster's inside, although I'm sure he'll come looking for me if I'm not back soon."

"Why has he become so... so..."

"Worried? Protective?"

"Yeah. He's always been protective of those he loved, but it's gotten ten times worse since you announced you were pregnant."

"Rooster doesn't trust doctors. Their misdiagnosis of his mom's illness has made him question every diagnosis the doctors have given me regarding my pregnancy."

"What have they been diagnosing?"

"When I fainted on Christmas, it was because my blood pressure dropped too low. It almost happened again about a month later because my iron levels were deficient, so I just had to up my intake since my prenatal vitamins weren't providing enough."

Hangman's brow furrowed. "I didn't know you passed out a second time."

"Outside of Mom and Mav, we didn't say anything to anyone else. Didn't see the point, to be honest. It was an easy fix."

"It got rid of it completely? No more fainting? Not getting dizzy?" Juliette hesitated for a second before she said "no," but Hangman caught it and prodded gently yet sternly, "Princess, is it still happening?"

She clutched his jacket tightly around her shoulders, her shaking having no correlation to the cold air. "Yes. Not much, but enough for me to notice. I'm keeping an eye on it, and if it gets worse, I'll go to the doctor. For now, though, I'm staying quiet."

"So I'm correct in assuming Bradshaw doesn't know?"

"Yes... I don't want to worry him about something that might not be a problem. Rooster's going to kill himself stressing over me before he ever meets his kids if he's not careful. I know this is a lot to ask, but please don't say anything to him about this."

"Since you think it's nothing serious, and since I'm not seeing anything super concerning, I'll stay quiet for now, but if it gets worse and you refuse to tell him, I will say something."

"I know you will. It's why I trusted to tell you," Juliette admitted, smiling appreciatively at her friend. As much as she loved and adored the other Daggers, she couldn't help but believe that when it came to this particular situation, their loyalty to Rooster would override their promise to keep her secret, and they would tell him anyway. Coyote's loyalty may not have, but he also wouldn't want to endure Rooster's wrath if Rooster found out Coyote had been keeping such a secret. Hangman was different. He wasn't afraid of Rooster, and he respected Juliette's decision and trusted her enough to speak up when she believed something might truly be wrong. Juliette trusted Jake Seresin implicitly, and some, if not most, people probably questioned that judgment call, but she ignored them.

"We should probably head back inside before people come looking for us," she mused, peering over her shoulder into the Hard Deck when she recognized Rooster's piano skills at work. Sure enough, he sat the musical instrument, singing along to 'Don't Stop Believin' with the Daggers and Ghost, but his gaze roamed the room. She knew why.

Hangman stood and helped Juliette up. The pair reentered the building and went to the bar, grabbing a round of drinks for everyone. Then, carefully, they navigated over to the Daggers. Juliette slid onto the stool with Rooster, who leaned over and kissed her while still skillfully playing the piano. A cheer rose up around them, making them both laugh. She sang along with him to all different songs until her voice went hoarse, but Juliette kept a careful eye on Hangman. Instinct told her something wasn't right, that the appearance of Ghost and the 'family thing' phone call he received earlier afflicted him on a much deeper level than he let on, both now and in the past.

If only she'd known how much.

****

Tags: @lgg5989 @shanimallina87 @polikszena @summ3rlotus @icemansgirl1999 @supernaturaldawning @thedarkinmansfield @lyannaforpresident @lapilark @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth @simpofthecentury @shadeops21 @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @double-j @bradshawsandbridgetons @majdoline @catsandgeekyandnerd @peachiicherries @multifandomcnova @fandomsstolemylife00 @bookloverhorses @mak-32 @midnightmagpiemama

Chapters: Chp 1 Chp 2 Chp 3

If you're on the tag list, it's because I copied from the India Lima Yankee tag list. If you don't wish to be tagged for this story, just let me know! If you're not on the tag list and want to be, comment below :)

[hologramcowboy]

//noticed some body language cues and microexpressions that make me wonder. //

Can you give a few examples of the types of body language you noted, or micro-expressions? Or just things to watch for from each guy? I’ve watched Jared and Jensen's more recent panels trying to decide how I think they’re doing, and I keep flip-flopping between thinking they are getting to a better place with each other and the idea that they’re just putting on a stronger show and falling into their practiced habits. Maybe I’m picking up on the cues but not consciously?

I have noticed that some of their connections are missed at times, but they are also often in sync a lot, too.

It's important to note that actors are hyperaware of the effect their presence has on the crowd and due to this they carefully orchestrate each move to create the desired effects. Both Jared and Jensen play on their sex symbol images so to see real microexpressions you need to focus on those moments when they lose sight that everyone is watching. Which can be extremely difficult, especially with Jensen who has truly developed a persona on stage. Despite this, while words and chosen mannerisms can lie body language and microexpressions will always reveal someone's true mood so look for:

signs of tension that contradict the joy someone is displaying: e.g. they are laughing loudly but their eyes look full of tension and sad. Jensen is a master at hiding his emotions.

when one is speaking always looks for what the one who is not speaking is signaling but keeping in mind that most of what they do on stage is a performance much like stand up comedy so be on the watch for spontaneous reactions. Jared is usually more open and authentic compared to Jensen and when he fakes his mood you can spot that easily. There is a tension in his smile, it doesn't reach his eyes, he sweats and his nostrils flare. He may be smiling but he looks discontent. With Jensen it is a bit harder because he's so used to playing on his looks most of his expressions are histrionic and pre-planned, however, his eyes look dead inside even if he puts on that wide smile where people just focus on how how he is and he always has outbursts of arrogance that give his real mood away. His emotions are very intense so when they do shift it's hard to miss though he tries to hide it by adopting a sarcastic persona.

by the way, the look at the person who isn't talking thing- apply it in the workplace especially, when negotiating or in a meeting, if you want the truth, ask a well oriented, focused question from the person you are talking to and while they are answering, glance once in a while at the person standing next to them and what their bodylanguage and microexpressions are really telling you. They won't expect you to focus on them so they will be giving away a lot through their body language.

Especially during the last cons I've noticed how Jared's mood has shifted quite a bit towards the negative, he seemed sad and discontent but hiding it and this seemed to amplify during photo ops with Jensen. You know that feeling you get when you have to meet someone you don't really want to have to deal with and you are in competition with them because they wronged you and yet you end up in the same room together and have to play nice? That's exactly how I would describe it. They both had that look with Jensen's being a bit more amplified by a sense of arrogance. So it really made me wonder if maybe they had some not so pleasant discussions or some high stakes in some audition perhaps? Something's just off about their dynamic. I usually look for tension in the face and even photographers know this, they can really easily read the mood of the person they are photographing by noticing the tension in their lips, eyes, nerves and how it contradicts the expression they are actually putting on, for example, a smile. A real smile detenses your entire face, it lights up the eyes and you end up smizing with your eyes as well. Whereas, when you are smiling but your face looks frozen, your facial nerves are tense that indicates that you are forcing a smile against your natural mood in that moment and lately I've been noticing a lot of fake smiles and platitudes along with full on displaying discontent and contempt and both of them have mastered their on stage persona so if they are slipping and no longer able to hide certain emotions I'm really inclined to believe that all is not 100% harmonious with them.

They love each other as family but I think just like how brothers and sisters can get into high tension or competition so can J2 and perhaps there's a potential revival, audition or situation that has them a bit at odds with each other currently. Keep in mind, this is just my speculation so please ignore what does not resonate.

[lightvsdark18]

Responses to voicelines (Cater)

Hey, you're looking fab today, as always. Shall we? Actually, before that, why don't we have some tea? It'll be a great photo op.

Sure.

You and I are best buds? LOL! Hey, what's with that face? I'm not saying we're not. I just don't know how to react to a statement like that IRL.

But you didn't have to laugh. You couldn't think up any other way to react?

School Uniform

You free? Same. Sooo, got any hot insights on what's trending?

I have no phone, and even if I did, I don't care about trends. Sorry, Cater.

Ummm, you haven't forgotten that I'm your upperclassman, right?

And you haven't you forgotten I'm older than you, right?

P.E. Uniform

It makes me wanna barf when people are like, "Your sweat glitters like the fountain of youth!" Bro, I'm just tired.

*Laughs* You're speaking the truth on that one.

Fix your collar, quick! Riddle's wandering around, so you better look fresh to death.

But he isn't my dorm leader.

There are a buncha different ways to wear our gym uniforms. Your style isn't half-bad either.

It's just pants and a shirt, not really a style.

Something on your mind? I can't very well ignore a cute underclassman in trouble!

You think I'm cute? (Starry eyes as a joke)

It's not that I'm bad at exercising, I just don't like getting too fired up.

Same.

Labwear

Got any plans for today? If not, I can take you on my Magicam photo op tour.

Hmm, I got nothing. So, I would love a tour.

You seem to have a lot of time on your hands. You sure you don't need to prepare for class?

I'm already prepared. Are you, Cater?

Putting in elbow grease is all well and good, but you need to chillax sometimes, too. Take a leaf from Grimmy's book.

I chillax too much back home. I'm making up for the lost time.

Ceremonial Robes

Huh? More drama happening? There's never a dull moment with you, Prefect.

*Sighs* It's better than it was at home.

We should chat. I bet you've got stories for days.

Yeah, I do. Well, depending if you want fiction or not.

I get it. You can't help but fall all over me. But nobody likes the desperate schtick!

? Are you doing okay, Cater? Do you need a glass of water?

You got a problem on your hands, don'tcha? I mean, I'd go with you even if you didn't. You're always loads of fun.

Aw, now I'm in a good mood.

Dorm Uniform

I'd ask you not to involve me in your problems, but that wouldn't make a bit of difference, would it? You're a real handful. Heh.

....

You rang? How many times does that make this now? You're such a goober. Ha ha.

....

Maybe you should start wearing our dorm uniform on the down-low more often. It looks surprisingly good on you.

(Positive) Does it?

Do you ever get homesick?

... I haven't really thought of it. Having too much fun spending time with you.

It's nice that you've taken a liking to me and all, but… don't I get some respect as your upperclassman?

Don't I get some respect as your senior? Heh. Do you think I don't respect you?

Halloween

Aha! Did I scare you because I look so different from usual?

I was more surprised than scared.

Have you SEEN Lucius today?! He's got the cutest little pumpkin hat. Never would've expected that from Professor Trein.

Do you have pictures?

Happy Halloween! Wanna take a pic for posterity?

Happy Halloween, and yes.

Isn't this black veil so mysterious? You're welcome to lift it and get a peek at the gorgeousness beneath. Ha! JK.

Or I can pretend I'm at a wedding, lifting your veil and go in for a kiss (on the cheek). Just kidding.

You wanna know what Heartslabyul dressed as last year? Pirates! Wanna see my costume?

Yes!

Silk Adorned

Is that spicy street food I spy? I'm a total spice fiend, so I can't miss out on that.

You remind me of my brother.

Vacations rule. Doesn't it feel liberating to be surrounded by complete strangers?

Eh.

[pupintransit]

It's always deeply amusing to me to see conservatives blather on about "The Dangers of Transgenderism™️" and the usual horseshit about grooming and coercion. In truth, the trans community goes out of their way to make sure folks are making as informed a choice as possible. I've been blessed to have made connections with kind and intelligent people who have been through the system, know how it works, and are willing to share their knowledge with others.

To that end, i have to ask myself a question: Is bottom surgery worth it for me? The overwhelming consensus from the folks I know who are post-op have said it was worth it for them, but there's a bit of an asterisk next to that. They want to be sure I and other folks in my situation don't romanticize surgery. Complications and revisions happen, and pain is pretty well gaurenteed. I trust them when they say the first few months will be deeply unpleasant, and I want to carry myself with that expectation.

Out of respect for the privacy of this community, I will be speaking very generally about what experiences I should expect, and speak about no one except myself in this post. With that out of the way, what are the cons, difficulties, and hardships I need to be prepared for?

Cost. I'm fortunate that the cost of my surgery will be covered 100% by my provincial insurance. What is not covered is travel and accommodation. Since I'm not willing to wait up to four years for surgery in BC, I'm placing myself on the waitlist for GRS Montreal instead. Hotels and flights are not cheap, so I'll have to see what supports and resources I can bring in to help me pay for it.

Loneliness. I have absolutely zero family or friends in Quebec. I think the closest friend I have to that province lives in Kitchener, Ontario. That's about a six hour drive - I checked. It would be unreasonable for me to ask her to see me in Montreal, let alone to ask anyone from BC. My husband is willing to come help me, but since we both have bills and obligations we can't gaurentee that he'll be able to. I have to be prepared to be on my own if it comes to that.

The plane ride home. Good christ, this will be hard to navigate. I'm not 100% sure what my pain med schedule is going to be, so that will impact how comfortable this will be. Sitting down on is going to be painful, and I want to be sure I don't reopen any stitches in that crowded plane. How do I go about that? Great question! Just wish I had a great answer.

Complications and revisions. The technique at GRS Montreal is a single procedure, apparently performed with three surgeons in the room. While I love that it's quick, it doesn't leave a lot of room for revisions if I don't like the aesthetic, nor for any corrective work if there are complications. Also, since the wait for services in BC is pretty long I may have to travel back to Montreal for care if anything like that happens, which will not be cheap.

Dilation. For the first month I'll be dialating four times a day, then three times for month two & three, twice for months four to six, and then once daily until the twelfth month. I'd prefer to get a full six months off of work to best accommodate this, but the standard seems to be going back to work by month four. Twice daily dilations are going to be difficult to manage given my work schedule and long commute. If I can't get those extra two months, I'll have to negotiate a change in my work hours.

Sexual functionality. I likely will be capable of orgasming after everything is said and done, but I'll have to work at it and re-learn how to do that with my new genitals. It'll be a long and frustrating process, and there's not much I can do about it other than try and be patient.

I'm writing this out with the same motivation that the trans folks I'm connected with brought this up had. It's a reminder in good faith that this is not an easy process, which to me is an important part of the support I want to seek out from my community. I want to understand what I'm getting myself into, and they have been gracious not to sugarcoat the reality of it.

After everything is said and done I still want a vaginoplasty, and I still want to go to Montreal to do it. These are problems with solutions. All I have to do is find out what those are.

[narcoticwriter]

I posted 3,611 times in 2022

That's 3,234 more posts than 2021!

1,318 posts created (36%)

2,293 posts reblogged (64%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@walking-meme

@qu-ilinn

@yokelish

@scalpel-mom-mori

@yarrayora

I tagged 3,578 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 2,196 posts

#narky thinks - 1,082 posts

#genshin impact - 269 posts

#narky speaks - 232 posts

#diluc harem au - 123 posts

#diluc harem anon - 109 posts

#diluc - 101 posts

#'yes i'm talking about that trial' - 86 posts

#scp foundation - 81 posts

#good art op - 80 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and this also happened to me because 'if an african commits a crime all they gotta say is that they're nigerian and they'll get off easier'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Me: I've seen a lot of things around Yae Miko and Kamisato Ayato lately and I can certainly find the appeal in the dynamic. The trope of two high-ranking instigators of respective means that are opposed to one another has always been enjoyable for me.

Genshin Twitter, for some godforsaken reason: You are a terrible person and I hope everyone you love dies and that you off yourself, you lesbophobe.

Me: . . . what are you on about now, you lunatics?

123 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

My ass, reading over 150k+ words worth of Diluc and Kaeya reconciliation fanfiction in less than two days:

135 notes - Posted February 7, 2022

#3

Tighnari: (goes on the trip of his life because he ingested a mushroom)

Also Tighnari: Interesting. (takes notes)

143 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

#2

Every Geo User Holds the Universal Trait of Having No Practical Application of Common Sense Whatsoever.

Yes, I said it and it's about damn time someone did because this really makes too much sense.

Before you stone (lol 'stone') me to death, take a moment to look at the title. The words 'practical application' and 'common sense' are defined as read.

Practical application refers to the efficient execution of an idea as it pertains to something, typically a problem or issue. Common sense refers to being able to infer that certain things are not to be done just by looking at them instead of acting on the said thing that should not be done.

This also applies to self-awareness and self-preservation as well as the connection of being perceived. So to say that they lack the practical application of common sense in their day-to-day is absolutely fair because if you look carefully at their lives, they do not practice this as much as they should.

Geo Character enjoyers, this one is specially made in mind for you. 😉

Thesis - Hypothesis

So how did I come to this conclusion? Let's start by looking at what I believe to be the universal personality traits and internal character of those who have Geo Visions. If you look at the way that they conduct themselves, you will notice these traits among all of them:

An immovable will and unbending devotion to their goals

Strong and uncompromisable fundamentals

Sees their Visions as more of a tool than an ambition

Every single person who uses Geo exhibits these traits in either how they conduct themselves around others and themselves, what they do for a living, or in their personal philosophies. This does not mean, however, that they are free from any flaws. In fact, that assumption is far from the truth, as all of the traits aforementioned can exasperate and intensify genuine problems and negative traits that they have, such as:

A stubbornness that cannot be budged in any situation

Must do things in a certain way

Do not usually rely on others and take on burdens themselves instead of asking for help when it's perfectly reasonable to do so

And, of course, the whole point of this to begin with:

No common sense whatsoever

I will be going over all of these traits and how each individual has displayed these traits, as well as a little bit of speculating as to how they conduct themselves (while staying as true to the canon as much as possible).

Let's start this off with the most foundational person out of these individuals and how he established the expectations and criteria for receiving a Geo Vision in the first place.

So if you will, Exhibit A.

Zhongli - Vago Mundo

Ah yes, everyone's favorite Geo Daddy. I've likely provoked the ire of his fans in particular with my audacious claim, but now that I have your attention, hear me out. As he is the Geo Archon, he almost certainly established the standards of obtaining a Geo Vision as well as the desirable traits of the users this is granted to. He flawlessly exhibits the three traits I noted up earlier as such:

An immovable will and unbending devotion to their goals -

Zhongli - or rather Morax's entire existence was centered around Liyue and its prosperity for over 3,700 years.

He dutifully protected Liyue from other gods, monsters, and cataclysmic events such as the Archon War and the Cataclysm.

Up until recently, he also served Liyue by annually descending to Liyue Harbor to guide the people to another year of prosperity.

He set up a way to ensure that Liyue would still prosper even if he was gone and he succeeded more or less.

Strong and uncompromisable fundamentals -

He is the God of Contracts.

Anyone who breaks a contract is to be subject to 'the Wrath of the Rock'.

See the full post

192 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

IF YOU KNOW YOU KNOW

457 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[radplaidtacofan]

This is the truth that so many people don't want to acknowledge because for some reason they'd rather give up entirely and complain instead.

I've had severe anxiety my entire life and I mean severe. It was generalized AND social, so I was always in a state of anxiety and social situations would make it spike. I had frequent anxiety attacks and full-blown panic attacks and I would often be unable to speak in social situations.

If someone else forced me into a situation? Yeah, that didn't help. At all. My anxiety would be worse. It wasn't until later in high school when we did co-op placements that I was finally able to force myself to be in a work situation.

It wasn't easy. At all. I was sick to my stomach every single day before co-op. It was at a bookstore, which I loved, but I had to talk to customers. On one of my shifts I had to approach customers to offer them a coupon. On other shifts they had me calling people to let them know their orders were in. I always hoped to go to voicemail because, while it was still horrifyingly anxiety-inducing, it was a bit less so than actually talking to someone. In those days I needed to write out a script of what to say and I would still panic and stammer.

I'm writing this out because I'd like to think that anyone who's instinct is to dismiss others' experiences and say, "Then you don't have as bad as I do because I can't work because of my anxiety!" might still be capable of realizing that, no, my anxiety is extremely fucking severe. I was often told I should probably be hospitalized due to how extreme it was. I was on a ton of different medications when I was younger which never really helped and just made my depression (which was also severe to the point of attempts) even worse.

But guess what? Forcing myself into uncomfortable situations over and over got me to where I am today. I always show up to work, I talk to customers all the time, I use the phone with ease and I don't usually need scripts in order to have a conversation. I still feel like an imposter but most people can't tell that I'm autistic or struggle with anxiety. People are always telling me that I'm good with people, easy to talk to, bubbly, funny, etc. Hell, I'd even say that I lean more towards being an extrovert, which isn't something I ever thought I would say about myself.

None of this was easy and it's all because I struggled hard for most of my life. I'm 33 and it's still not easy. Sometimes I get anxiety attacks. Occasionally I even get panic attacks. The anxiety is still there and I still sometimes stammer. When people go very "off script" with conversations sometimes I'll lock up and not know what to say. But I'm still here, I'm still trying and it's so much easier after having struggled for so long.

I've known a number of people who say they "can't work" due to anxiety and I gotta say... they can, they just need to work on themselves. It's literally a them problem. No, they didn't ask to have severe anxiety but it's something they have to deal with. None of us ask for our struggles but we still have to deal with them.

Like, fuck capitalism, I agree. But "fuck work" is just stupid. Work doesn't just mean "go to a job and make a rich person richer", it can be making art, helping others out, etc. It can be anything. Humans are social creatures and we also need a lot of enrichment. Work - whatever that looks like to you - is necessary for us. It keeps our minds healthy. Going out in public is also necessary. It can be terrifying, yes, but you need to do it and it will get easier.

Anyway, I don't have much patience for people who would dismiss this as being "Boomerish" or the types of people who would say my problems couldn't have been that bad if I was able to get past them... especially because I haven't gotten past them, I've just found ways to manage despite them.

[ziankenvirus]

Twst oc stuff

Wanted to lore drop some stuff about my twst ocs, I took a weirdly different approach with them than the Fandom does, rather than having those based on tales and be residents of the twisted wonderland. All my twst ocs minus my Narnia ones are from one of my long existing worlds. And are often while based off of these stories, usually share only a few elements (minus some characters, particularly those involved with the fae.)

Ngl, nervous about posting them lmao. I get really nervous when talking about my OCS and their lore because I always worry people will think their weird or op or smth lmao.

Gonna drop the first part, this was inspired by his dark devices and the characters the same, alongside from Kinder- und Hausmärchen.

In the world, most people get a companion called Redgins. Creatures connected to them in every way to guide them through life, however can end up turning the person into something called a 'chain' if there's deep, deep emotional stress and emotions that have been bubbled up. Or even as simple as one singular incident in the past bubbling up again.

However there are other causes too, it's case by case. There are those however who are without one. Rather instead could be considered a Redgin themself, theyre able to purify those who turn into a chain; saving them from that fight. By ultimately consuming the miasma and separating the person from their Redgin. Albeit severing the connection permanently, and each time the miasma is consumed; apart of their life is removed and they're bodies forever and slowly show signs of the miasma.

Within the world fae human relationships are similarly strained, with fae being antagonistic and more accurate to the actual mythology. Humans and other creatures being at the mercy of their tricks and attitudes, changelings, etc etc. Because of this for those villages and residences close to where fae activity has been most reported; there is often suspicion between neighbors-and oftentimes people will refuse to interact with anyone with children. The only thought being 'Is that a changeling child, or truly human.'

If a human and fae form a friendship, familial relationship, or more. It's kept under lock and key; particularly if it's a situation of mutual attraction and pining. Usually, if any children come from these relationships, the human parent is forever separated from their child and lover.

Fae aren't the only creatures humans must fear, it was as if the world was created to cull humanity as there's many other creatures out for human blood. Most are what'd one would expect, a hungry or cornered animal, bacteria, mother nature; though in recent years odd creatures have been appearing with truly malicious intent towards the sons and daughters of Adam and eve.

They look like us, they act like us. Everything about them is so similar to humanity, but in the end-they aren't. Those soulless eyes, stretched out faces and smiles as if they aren't quite able to perfectly mimic what humans look like, people started to call them 'wiedergänger.' I'll put more about them and the world in another post, moving onto my fan dorm now lol.

Pulled from the ancient beasts and apexes of old, massive beasts capable of destruction in the old days. Survival was their only wish, their only goal; they'd snap their jaws tightly around scraps of prey no matter how small. Their home was gone, reduced to ashes and dust; a massive crater left behind forcing them to abandon their old ways.

Prehistoria.

Two carnotaurs, close siblings forced to start all over after the fall of the sky. Only to meet the one thing they feared, their death. Unable to speak the language of the herbivores; they were treated as monsters who's only goal was the destruction of the herd. A far cry from the truth, the two only desired whatever scraps of food they could find; one was crushed in pursuit of a meal that would've fed them both for days. The other; pushed off a cliff. Their deaths celebrated while the herbs lived on.

Fang and Claw. Twin carnotaurs, and the patrons of the Prehistoria dorm. A place filled with students connected those old beasts, ancestors, the creatures themselves, and other beast-men.

The dorm leader a blue scaled Zuchengtyrannus called Zucheng, the vice dorm leader a Calico velociraptor named Callie. The dorm prides itself on their rich history and being one of the first creatures to feel the rich soil between their claws. In their hearts they are survivors, living past the falling sky which wrecked their homes and families. Morality in this dorm follows the very core of nature and survival and sacrifice, exceeding their pride. Prehistoria is the very core of a survivor, Prehistoria is a family. They take care of each other to ensure the others survival, if that survival is threatened. They'll fight with tooth and claw to their very deaths; they've already survived this long, they aren't going down without a fight. Because of this, oftentimes members of the dorm are seen as the more feral type, letting their animalistic nature peak during struggles.

Zucheng himself is noted as one of the few who are a true embodiment of the dorms values. Despite the odds against him he crawled on his belly through the darkness until he peeked through the light, as a **carnivore**, those in his home of Pangea often avoided him and either ran; or picked a fight if they felt threatened. But who could blame them, they were herbivores in the presence of a starving apex. He lived most of his life as a nomadic loner, only occasionally working with others of his breed for food.

Pangea is a feral land, residents of it whilst still keeping up with the times; are still connected to their animalistic nature. Herbs avoid carnivores, carnivores hunt herbs. Rather than having a singular government residents are either nomadic packs, loners, pack hunters, and cooperative groups only together for the sake of food. The law of the jungle is the only laws every group follows, in times of crisis herbivores and carnivores are not allowed to fight at watering holes. Water is the ichor of life, a shared resource that should not be fought over.

Pangea has schools, it is one of the only other places where hunting and violence against one another is not allowed under any circumstances. Like outside of school, species and diets hang out with one another and do not mix-pack unless they are creatures known for it. It is actively encouraged and enforced in younger children who have a tendacy to make friends with everyone, being done as both a way to ensure a healthy fear of carnivores. And the fact that one day in the future, you might be fighting the other for survival.

Compys, albeit tiny and easily snapped. Are the enforcers of the jungle laws, for in large groups; even the largest apex can be taken down by the nips of these creatures. It is suspected their is another reason however, for these tiny creatures being in such high positions in a country that has no government.

That's all for now lol, will add more info about the world my characters outside the ones who were originally from the twisted wonderland and Narnia are from.

[ccalhoun]

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Edward Nashton x Psychiatrist!Male!Reader

req?: yep!

warnings: smut, male reader, ftm reader, bottom reader, sub reader, no mention of reader's chest, pre-op reader, top edward, soft dom edward, slightly switchy edward, edward is a bit of a creep, edward is taller than reader but it's not said by how much, porn with plot, vaginal penetration, p in v sex, terms "cunt" and "clit" used, pet names, long fic

note: sorry about not posting

cut for length!

Edward Nashton, your best patient. After meeting with the other psychiatrists, he said he would only talk to you. Ed stood by his promise, whenever anyone who wasn't you walked into the room he would refuse to talk. Arkham soon complied with his request and you were his official psychiatrist. You were so nice to him too, bringing papers for him to draw or write on, asking your boss to get Ed new glasses, bringing Ed books, small stuff that just made his day.

It was time for another session with Ed, you grabbed some blank paper and a new green pen you got just for Ed, a new book for him, and your usual papers that you fill out every session. You walked down the cold corridors to the therapy room, it was unusually quiet as most of the other patients were out in the cafeteria. You opened the door and saw Edward sitting, staring at his hands. As normal, Edward had his wrists chained and was sitting at his side of the table waiting for you.

"Hi, Eddie!" You said, Ed gave you a small wave and smiled. You sat your stuff down on the table and were going to sit down before noticing that his glasses were still cracked, you leaned over and lightly held the edge of his glasses by the crack in his clear glasses. "Gosh, still cracked? I am so sorry, Eddie, I have been talking to management about getting you new ones," As you spoke, Ed's face flushed a little at the proximity, your faces so close Ed could see every little detail.

You leaned back and sat down, pulling out the papers and pen you got for Ed, he loved to write in his code while you two talked. You could never figure out how he was able to engage in conversation and write his notes simultaneously, but the skill was admirable. You set them in front of him with the new book, it was a sort of schedule for you two when you did your weekly meetings. Once you got your paperwork ready, you looked up at Edward who was reading the synopsis of the new book while he waited.

"So, Ed," You stated to catch his attention, "How have you been feeling this past week?" You asked. It was a question you always asked at the beginning of every session, it was the question every psychiatrist asked but you had cared for him and his feelings the past months you got to know him. Ed was very kind and caring for others around him, he paid attention to everything that was happening around him and hardly seemed like a violent criminal.

"I've been ok, lots of stressful things have been happening and there's been a lot of changes around Arkham that I don't like. Everything has been happening so suddenly and it's been making me want to hurt the other inmates," Ed said, he was always honest with you. You jotted that down and filled out that he's been thinking of hurting others. You looked back up at him from your papers.

"Have you been thinking of hurting yourself?" You asked, genuinely worried. You weren't supposed to pick favorites but, Ed was the nicest of all the patients at Arkham and you could never live with the thought that you weren't able to help him. He hesitated before speaking, seemingly nervous to speak at all.

"Some thoughts, yes, but I swear I would never put them into action. I promise," Ed spoke as if he was comforting you, truth was he cared about you more than you could ever know. The things he wrote in his code were always about how nice you looked or about how you seemed especially caring that session. Your face filled with relief at the promise, and you wrote something down in your notes before looking back up at him.

"And, how has your anxiety been on a scale of one to ten?" You stated what was on the papers and were legally bound to ask, you never liked the questions much but asked them anyways. Luckily, Ed always answered even if neither of you liked the repetitive and annoying questions. The next few minutes go like that, you ask questions and write things down. After the questions you smiled at Edward, he was slowly getting better.

"Eddie, you're doing better than last week!" You said happily, you set your papers down and looked at the camera for a quick minute before turning back to Edward, "Are you ok with hugs?" You asked him, Ed's face filled with excitement at the question, nodding furiously with excitement. He never thought the day would come when you finally hug him! You swiftly got up and went to the other side of the table, embracing Ed in a warm hug. Ed tried his best to hug you back with his cuffed hands, but he was happy to be getting any contact at all.

You pulled away from the hug and sat back down across from Edward, looking down at the papers you gave Edward you noticed that they were all nearly full. He was a fast writer and in a language that wasn't even English, in a language he made up himself!

"Are you liking the green pen I got you?" The words left your mouth before you could even think about them, you were glad you said them as after you spoke, Edward started ranting about it and how smooth it was and how the color was his favorite shade of green. You caught yourself staring and snapped yourself out of it. You looked at the sheets again, all in his code! From what you knew, only Batman, the GCPD, and Edward himself knew it.

"Are you ever going to teach me this code?" You were curious about what he wrote. Edward quickly shoved the papers into a single pile, his hands were slightly bruised and had small cuts on them, you took quick notice and scrapped your previous thought. One of your hands shot to his and held it a bit closer to your face. "Did someone do this to you? Is there someone I need to report?" You rushed out, your tone was that of anxiety, who would do that to him in the first place?

Edward didn't say anything at first, he could feel your breath on his hand and you were so worried for him, his feelings of love only grew more at that moment. You were so gentle and nice compared to how others treated him, it was like you were an angel sent from heaven specifically to help him.

"No one did it, I'm fine. I just got frustrated and needed to punch something," Ed said calmly, he didn't take his hand from your loving touch, your skin was warm and soft compared to his rough and slightly calloused hands. You stayed staring at his hand and kept it in your grasp.

"If someone hurts you please, let me know. I want you to be safe here, Eddie," You looked up at him as you spoke, essentially begging him to speak to you. He took that sign and planned to use it for later use. Another inmate was bothering him, but he would tell you that at a more fitting time.

"I will don't worry," Ed said softly, he moved his hand from your grasp and cupped your face for a few seconds before moving his hand back down to the table. Your face flushed lightly from him touching you and you shook the thoughts from your head, he was your patient after all! Edward noticed the blush which only motivated him to earn your love more, in his eyes you were the adorable psychiatrist who loved him.

You checked your watch, you two had almost 20 minutes still left. You decided to look back at your paperwork and saw you had some space left you talked to him about how he was interacting with the other inmates. You soon found out they liked him for coming up with plans to kill the mayor and explode the sea walls, but still gave him shit and either ignored him or mocked him.

You wrote down how he had made one friend-ish, their cells were next to each other and they talked and told riddles to each other. You were happy about the news and after you two talked Edward asked about you, which wasn't what you were expecting but you trusted him enough to talk.

"Well, I don't do a lot since most of my day is spent in Arkham, but I go out with friends now and then!" You spoke truthfully. Edward looked engrossed with you, you didn't say much after that as a guard came in and said that your time was over. You smiled softly at Ed and stood up, you gathered your papers and the papers from Ed, letting him keep the book. You said goodbye and said you'd see him next week, walking back to your office.

You walked through the chilly halls of Arkham, and the patients yelled at you as they tended to do. You didn't mind much, there was no way they could break out and hurt you. You unlocked the door to your office and walked inside, closing the door behind you. You sat down at your desk and worked on digitalizing the files. As you sat, you realized you had never gotten the green pen or even seen it at all.

In Edward's cell, they took off his chains. He had nabbed the pen without you or the guard noticing and took it apart in his cell. He looked outside the bars of his cage and noticed one guard was busy watching a TV in his office and the other was doing who knows what. Ed was careful and concise as he picked the door of his cell door, he made sure to be quiet and when he knew the door was unlocked, he slowly opened it and closed it softly so it barely made a noise.

Edward made his way towards your office, he took the time to learn your exact schedule, knowing when you had appointments with other patients and when you left to go home, he knew almost everything about you. He got to your office and heard the clicking of keys on your keyboard and was thrilled to know that you didn't even notice he stole the pen from you to his knowledge at least.

Edward knocked on your door, listening to the sound of your shoes tapping against the hard floor. You opened the door and there he was, Edward's hand shot up and covered your mouth before you could say anything that would give his presence away. He slowly backed you up into your room, he took the hand that was over your mouth away and used it to close the door and lock it.

"Listen, I have a good explanation, I swear! I just, took your pen and I feel so bad and I wanted to see you and-" Edward started, his ramblings filling up the air of your cold office. You cut him off by holding your finger up, Edward understood and quickly stopped talking. You looked at him sympathetically.

"What was the real reason you broke out of your cell? We had a session earlier, did something happen?" You asked, he was harmless so you weren't too worried about him hurting you in any way. He looked more nervous than threatening, his stance was closed in and he was twiddling his thumbs mindlessly.

"Well, I just like you a lot. Romantically, I mean. I'm constantly thinking of you. In our session today you looked extra nice and all I could think about was how handsome you are. Everything about you is more beautiful than anything any artist could depict," Edward said, as he spoke your hand lowered to your side and he stepped closer to you. You always thought Ed was cute and sweet, and maybe if you met him under different circumstances you would date him. Unfortunately, in reality, you were his psychiatrist, he was your patient.

"Eddie, if you weren't a patient I would but I can't," You spoke softly and gently, you felt a little bad. Edward just poured his heart out to you and as much as you liked him you couldn't date him. Ed's smile went away instantly, he wanted it to work between you.

"Why can't you date me? We can keep it a secret, no one will know except us," Ed pushed, he made a good point. Normally, your patients were completely unwell and wanted to actively hurt everyone around them. Ed was better, he just took his sense of justice a bit too far. In almost every aspect, Ed was a good person.

"You're right, but please don't tell anyone about it. As much as I like you, I don't want to get fired," You finally said, Ed was overjoyed at the agreement. He quickly leaned down and captured your lips in a kiss, his hand moving up to cup your cheek in a comforting manner just as he did during your session earlier that day. Edward pulled back from the kiss and looked at you, he had a blush sprinkled across his cheeks, though his expression was a little worried that you wouldn't like the kiss, and was pleasantly surprised when you leaned back up to kiss him again.

The hand that wasn't on your face moved to hold your waist and slowly backed you up towards your desk while you continued your make-out. Once you reached the edge of your desk, Edward drew back from the kiss and smiled at you.

"Do you really want to do this?" Edward's voice was soft, he was just double-checking that you consented. You gave a nod and Edward smiled before speaking again, "I need a verbal answer, baby,"

"Yes, I want to," You were quiet but Edward heard what you said, he kissed you on the cheek and moved the hand on your face down to match the one on your waist. He moved his hands down and hoisted you up on your desk, loving the way your arms shot to hold onto his upper arm to keep yourself steady.

"Before we start, I wanted to tell you that I'm trans," You rushed out, almost stuttering as the words tumbled from your mouth. Edward left another kiss on your cheek to reassure you as he figured out how he could put what he was going to say.

"I figured it out before, don't worry. I love you and I promise that you being trans won't stop that," Ed's voice was sweet, and as he spoke his hands got to work unbuttoning your shirt. Edward started gently kissing your neck, he knew he couldn't leave hickeys on your neck but loved the sounds that you made when his teeth lightly grazed your collarbone.

Edward's left hand moved to unbutton your pants and rub against you through your underwear. Edward's hand eventually moved out of your pants and used both of his hands to pull your pants down to about mid-thigh. Ed's right hand moved to hold the back of your neck while he started kissing you again, adding tongue and muffling your moans as his left hand returned to rubbing your cunt through your underwear.

Everything moved so fast, that before you could tell what was happening you were being bent over your desk and Ed was slowly fingering you to prep you for his cock. Edward was a bit over average, around 6 inches, and slightly girthy. After fingering you for a bit, he pulled out his fingers and gave his member a few pumps.

Ed led his cock into your hole with one hand, the other hand on the small of the back so you wouldn't squirm too much. Ed soon bottomed out and stayed still for a moment, letting you adjust. He figured you had done it about as many times as him, some experimenting in high school and a one-night stand here and there but he wasn't expecting you to be as tight as you were. He moved his hands so one was on each side of your head on your desk, he let out small whimpers as he held back from just thrusting into you early.

"Just move when you're ready," Ed stuttered out, panting as he restrained himself. After a little bit of you adjusting to his size, you lightly pushed back against him and moaned when you felt Ed's tip rub against your g-spot. Your knees went weak and you sought the pleasure again, Ed got the hint and chuckled lightly. Ed set a slow pace and sped up with each thrust, the hand that was on his cock moving to rub your clit. Your moans were like music to his ears, he was whispering sweet nothings to you as he guided you through your orgasm.

"Shh, shh, I got you," Ed cooed as you came around his cock, he let out a whine when your velvet walls clenched around him. Ed pulled out and jerked himself off the rest of the way, the sticky white substance landing on your lower back as he came with a moan.

You slowly stood back up, your legs shaking from the encounter. You turned around and landed a kiss on Ed's cheek before grabbing a tissue and cleaning up a bit, "Sorry about erm— the mess," You gestured towards the ring of your cream on Ed's cock.

"No need to apologize, darling," Ed said as he got a tissue and cleaned it off himself, throwing away the tissue afterward. "We need to do this again sometime," He said. As he was speaking he was pulling up the pants that the prison provided and buttoning them up. Ed adjusted his glasses and your soul left your body when you saw the sight in front of you. Ed's hair was messy and stuck to the slight sweat on his face and neck. Ed noticed your staring and let out another chuckle. "You'll have to wait before you can get my pants off again, m/n" Ed spoke in a teasing tone.

"Wait," You stuttered out, "How are you supposed to get back into your cell?" You said worriedly, you quickly pulled your underwear and pants back up and fixed your shirt, "I should walk you back to your cell so they won't have any questions," You rushed out, really just wanting to spend more time with your patient before seeing him again tomorrow. Ed agreed with a smile and made sure he looked like he didn't just rearrange your guts before standing by the door so you could escort him out.

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[toki-is-the-king]

Damn. OP you a real one for this. Thank you. I’ve been feeling that way lately because my symptoms are less ‘severe’ right now. It’s so crazy how I literally have alters living in my brain from very real trauma but I’m just like ‘nah you’re just lying’. It took me YEARS to even accept my DID and even now I’m still just like ‘yeah but maybe I’m faking-‘ I still remember when my first therapist told me at 18 years old, that I had alters I was like NOPE. The extreme fear and repulsion I felt made my skin crawl and I literally remember feeling sick to my stomach;Like that feeling you get when a secret gets out you didn’t want anyone knowing or right before public speaking. I didn’t know why I felt it I just thought it was because I must’ve been ‘lying’ and my body was just reacting that way because I was ‘anxious’. But it was always a subconscious feeling, like I never knew why I felt that way I had no reason and I had nothing to hide. each time I was told by a new therapist that I most likely had DID, I would do extensive research on disorders to ‘prove’ that I did not have DID. DID was always the one mental illness I felt I really related to but I just thought it was because I had c-ptsd and trauma. I related to people with DID but it was the one mental illness that no matter what I was so adamant about not having and had the ‘that happens but not to me’ mentality.

Looking back all this should’ve made me stop and think but I guess I took the sickening feeling as confirmation that I was just anxious or feeling this fear because I was ‘just lying’. like my abusers always said. I always told the truth growing up and was still told I was a liar.

I think I often invalidate myself and our experiences because I’m considered ‘high functioning’ and haven’t yet met other systems like myself. I can hold a job (usually) and can do some ‘hard’ adult things, so it just further makes me invalidate myself. I also grew up in such a toxic environment and was told from an early age that anything I experienced was wrong or not real and gaslit so much I have a hard time believing my own thoughts or feelings to be valid. I still can’t remember what I did yesterday or what my favorite food is or who I really am, but hey! I can keep a job so I’m normal! I hate it. I hate masking being a system and trying to appear ‘high functioning’ it’s so exhausting. Bruh.

Rant over. But thank you for this. It really makes me feel seen.

-host

it's kills me that systems think they are faking or lying because they haven't had other alters front in a while, headspace has been silent, your communication is down, and overall just "feeling like a singlet"

because number 1, cdds have more symptoms than just alters, number 2 it's a covert disorder, and number 3, you are an alter!

no one experiences the same level of their symptoms for any of their disorders every day.

if my avoidance to food due to arfid is more noticeable some days, why is it different for having alters in osddid?

cdds are covert disorders. they will try and hide your symptoms because it's the whole point of their existence. don't blame yourself for a survival mechanism your brain created to protect you!

and I see so many people forget this, especially hosts, but you're an alter! if someone else doesn't front, that doesn't suddenly make you a singlet because you are still part of a system

you can make mistakes or be wrong, but don't fakeclaim or feed yourself misinformation in order to realise that!