#oough i am at an age in my life.

[kitkatcadillac]

not the past hanging on with an oppressive weight and the future pressing down on me with crushing intensity and my silly ass being square in the middle like scrat trying to keep a grip on that friggin acorn

[saym0-0]

oh my god. oh my GOD mechs esmp crossover. this is for SUCH a niche audience the esmp fandom is dead i dont care mechs esmp crossover

LISTEN TO ME okay ill have to add a sci-fi element to my established esmp world i am OKAY with this, grimlands are already victorian steampunk its not that big a stretch to add space travel, especially in the place of dimension travel.

okay so in my esmp lore the emperors are blessed by the gods with conditional immortality and flight, they know a new ruler has been born by if they're born with wings. i bet though i could twist that into the king cole/olympians idea of trading their citizen's lives for immortality. although it is kinda reversed? (mechs immortals tend to stop aging but can be killed, emperors still age and can die of old age, but cant be killed). hmm i mean theres definite differences between king cole and the olympians so maybe its just another variation, or something closer to the mechs themselves? though that ones less likely

honestly there literally is an esmp1 musical so i reckon its interesting enough to attract the mechs

but lets be honest with ourselves here, the only reason im doing this is so i have an excuse to draw grimlands!marius lmao

i think raph would be interested in it too though, with how they're so much more reliant on technical advancement than magical.

ivy would love the rivendell library, and crystal cliffs

hmmm jonny might have fun between mythland and the cod empire,,,

hmmmm brian would maybe like to hang out with shrub in the undergrove? he does like his garden,, maybe the overgrown with katherine too,, or gilded helianthia!

hrm,, i keep wanting to put people in the grimlands but i know thats only because its my favourite so therefore the most developed and also the most similar in vibe to the mechs

with that said though, tim really would have fun there,, like hes the gunpowder guy!! fwhip is the gunpowder guy!! they both r in charge of weapons!! guns, crossbows, same difference really

oough back to raph i think she and fwhip would bond over making their own wings,, fwhip made his to prove that he is fit to rule after gem fucked off to wizard school and raph,, uh actually i never found out raphs backstory beyond the fact im like 78% sure she made her and marius' mechanisms,, although that could be widely accepted fanon who knows not me

i think marius would also enjoy mezelea

but OH MY GOD TOY SOLDIER IN MEZELEA,,, i cant believe i almost forgot it,, i think it would immediately blend in with the clones and pretend to be one right up until they leave the planet, and have the time of its life the whole time,,

i dont know where ashes would go either.. i cant just say grimlands again because theres like four of them there already but,, the explosions!!

maybe mythland, or rivendell, those both seem like they'd appreciate a good mob boss taking over the place tbh

i think brian would get along with pix also

okay this isnt mechs but the fandom is a circle so if theres actually any fans of both out there reading this post, has anyone else noticed just how similar pix and jon's (tma) voices are?? genuinely when i started listening to the podcast i had to double check the va wasnt pix (and imagine my confusion when they share the same name too..)

anyways if anyone wants to scream about this with me please do, or if you want to know more about my esmp expanded universe feel free to do that too! in asks replies or reblogs idm

[thetrashqueenofeverything]

rare annual lore dump/vent post. cw: life talk

oough feelin some type of way starting up classes again but also im in a way better place than i was years ago! im apprehensive to even feel positive about it, i keep waiting for the rug to get swept out from under me. idk how i even landed in my current job the more i think about it the more i feel imposter syndrome crawling up my throat. i also dont particularly see myself as this kind of person but i guess how you perceive yourself and what you want seen as are different things huh. might even get to retire at an early age if things go well its insane to me. i dont hate it but its not my passion. i am happier bearing it though.

i know i wont have classes completed in time it wasnt avoidable now that i look at it, i'll have to break that news... it makes me scared but its not all encompassing and oppressive like it used to be

and ive been in a better mood now and picking up art again - if only a little bit - is enough to make me cry. its been a rough last fucking decade i swear. last two years were ass.

i guess it also feels weird being able to be a confidently functioning person again. depression consumed so much of me for so long. i didnt get the help i needed and it was harder to pull back from essentially alone since i cut everyone off. i genuinely dont remember whole years, it was bad. and i have a lot to write about it but im glad im still around. todays weather was nice

my mind is set on getting a tattoo like ive always wanted! i never particularly cared for meanings/symbolism as long as i love the art however my mind wandered to a phoenix. might look into commissioning from a particular artist i follow. lineart only maybe,, no idea what to do about the colors though

i need to make more vent posts like this i need to be more selfish for myself i need to stop letting my thoughts get caught up in themselves i almost didnt type this post out i need to stop holding things in maybe its alright

[musashi]

[1/4] to be fair, i do the same thing with songs with pretty robot girl voice and i haven't even played sksw in YEARS. you've just infected (positive, affectionate, i love it) me with a latent love for this game that i'd forgotten. like, genuinely, i loved this game, i got it as a gift from a family friend that had kids who were more interested in playstation games than wii, so they gifted us their wii and some games. it was mostly things like bass pro fishing and the official wii nerf game

but i remember being very excited because we got skyward sword and smash bros brawl. i already loved zelda games, but i'd never gotten to play a console one until then since my family didn't have any consoles, and it was hard for my aunt to gift me a whole gamecube w/o my mom noticing. sksw was my first zelda console game, and i absolutely adored it, but for some reason the internet's constant shitting on the game kinda. colored my opinion of it. like i thought that since everyone seemed to hate it, i had to hate it too. that i was just silly or easily pleased for finding so much joy in the game. "i can't like fi," high-school aged me thought, "she's annoying and like a bad tutorial through the whole game! that's what the funny youtube man said!" nevermind that she was one of my first video game crushes. 

but like. idk man i know a significant chunk of your "brand" is like. "fuck cringe culture, i'm going to loudly enjoy things and i don't care what other ppl say" like, i've KNOWN that, you're the one who helped me be less anxious about enjoying things, about talking about kin stuff, about just being happy nd stuff, i KNEW this, but yet again i am still surprised at your unapologetic love for things positively affecting me!! idk it's just c: 

anyways all this to say that i heard hello world and the part of me that's link went "FI MY FRIEND FI OOUGH MY FRIEND WHO IS ALSO A SWORD" ~🍄

ok the idea of just being GIVEN skyward sword like that!!! god even if my wii crapped out i could never let this game go... what a blessing from the heavens that it wound up in your life!

for a while i think i was in the ‘meh’ club on fi too? it was so weird listening to a voice meme i did about skyward sword back when i was 16 and talking about how fi annoyed me at any point like WOW cannot relate to her anymore fsghdfg. it’s just so much easier to go along w the crowd, esp when you’re young and scared of what might happen if you speak ur mind haha.

this is a very sweet message. it always feels better to just be yourself. i love being me, and i hope you love being you too :’3

also i just looked up this song and im really going to cry holy shit thank you this is going right on my fi playlist

[wwall-archive]

🎫 HERE'S A GUSH PASS! feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other selfshippers! u deserve it after dealing with finals n group projects

Bee, your power 👁👁 you're right, I do deserve it /lh

Y'all know what time it is. It is always this time. When am I not thinking about Alistair? That's a trick question, I am always thinking about him, and especially lately I've been having so many THOUGHTS.

I'm just... so, so proud of him. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, he got just the worst lot in life, and I'll always be bitter about his upbringing, but I can only give my thanks that he has better now, and that he became who he is in spite of it. His goodness, even in the face of some really awful things, is something I will never fail to admire. His bravery is something I could only hope to aspire to.

I can only give my thanks that I managed to find him, when I was in some of my worst places, because having him to fall back on just made it all... SO much better. It still does. I'll never know exactly what it was about him, specifically, that made me so GIDDY, or so utterly emotional, but I'll remember some of those moments when I first played his romance, and literally giggled like an small child, forever. I've mentioned it in passing, the way that one time, in my early days after discovering Dragon Age, I was just... thinking about him, and I got so overcome wih emotion that I had to just literally lie down and put my hand over my heart because I didn't know what else to do agahsgsgushdj. As mortifying as that story is, he still makes me feel that way sometimes, and it catches me off guard every single time.

I wanna PROTECT him, in all the ways I use him to protect myself, even if I'll never understand why it's HIM that makes me feel so safe every time I feel uncomfortable, why it's HIS voice I think about when I'm trying to reassure myself. It just is, for all the million little things about him I adore, and I'm so glad, and so eternally grateful. I love him so much, I'm so much better off for it.

Oough, too many thoughts, head full. I'll stop rambling agzgsfsgshhshs