#and im poor
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Feel free to skip. TW: I'm joining the military.
Growing up is really hard, and I don't think we realize that until we're on the verge of a big change, standing on the border between two parts of your life, balancing on a precipice before you take the swan dive known to many as change.
I'm packing my things. My dad finally brought home boxes and storage tubs and I'm finally packing my things, and that makes the passage of time so much more real.
I'm packing my things. My mom opened the door to tell me to watch my sleeping brother, and said nothing about the fact my room is a mess, or that I was just staring blankly at the cardboard box I just taped the bottom of. That box is ready for my craft books and paint stuff, my origami paper, my reading stand, my books on how to make stuff like children's books and animation. She made no mention of it all, just made that same pinched expression she has for weeks and then schooled her expression into something more neutral as she nodded towards the bedroom where my brother is and after a moment I got up and stumbled in, sitting at the foot of the bed to type out some kind of vent on Tumblr.
I'm packing my things, and I'm stuck between wanting to cry and finding myself unable to cry. I'm leaving home. I've been dreaming of getting out of here off and on since I was 13. At times I had a countdown of years, months, weeks, days that I had to stay, that I had to wait for the day I could finally leave. It made being angry or sad or any other complicated emotion easier. It made hardship easier to cope with. It made it easier to get through the hard times because I knew I could leave and nothing could stop me.
I'm packing my things, slowly, piece by piece, and I'm starting to understand the weight of what my dad said, when he said I was the first person on either side of my family in generations to not run away from home before turning 18. My mom left home at 17, my dad spent more days out of the house than in it as a teenager and left the god damn country. My bio paternal family has these issues too. My maternal family is full of people that ran off, that stayed away from home and didn't look back. My mom only speaks to one sister, and can't speak to her brother as long as their mother is alive. I didn't leave. I finished high school, I got my diploma, I took my time and I didn't leave before I was a legal adult.
I'm packing my things to leave home, and it's hard. It's scary. I've never been away from home for very long, and here I am, getting ready to do something more than just "Move out".
I'm packing my things, putting my life into boxes, sorting what's going to stay, waiting for me to return, what's getting tossed, what's going to get donated or given away. I keep finding things and remembering shit related to them. I keep finding things and remembering who gave them to me. I keep finding things and remembering which parent smiled when I got it.
I'm packing my things, and in a way I'm also processing a kind of grief I didn't know existed.
I'm leaving home for something I thought through for 8 months, and I'm coming up on the one year anniversary since I made my decision. It's been just under two since I signed the dotted line, swore in, and came home to congratulations and a sureness that I'm doing the right thing for me.
In 5 days, I'm going to my last meeting. Getting a send off from a group of people doing the same thing. A couple of them doing the EXACT same thing.
In 9 days, I'll spend the last full 24 hours I've got with my family, eating a fruit tart and playing putt putt. I'll say good night and that'll be the last time I see them for months at the very least.
In 10 days, I'm hiding my key on the porch and walking out the front door while everyone is asleep. They'll wake up and I'll be hundreds of miles away from them. In 10 days, I'm hopping in a big unmarked government van (and this will never not be funny to me) with like 5 other people and we're all doing the same thing. We're going somewhere and we have no idea what is really waiting for us.
In 11 days, I'm not in civilian limbo anymore. As it stands I am subject to the UCMJ but I'm not a sailor yet. In 11 days, I'm a recruit, and that's fucking dizzying to think about.
I'm getting ready to start a new part of my life and it's going to be exciting and new and I'll make friends and I'll go a couple places and I'll have stories to tell my brother and family. I think I'll be better, when all is said and done.
But right now, I'm packing my things into boxes and tubs, and right now, I want to cry.
#if you read this far#and want to know why the fuck I am joining up#the reasons are#in order#i dont know what im doing with my life but want out of this town#submarines are fucking awesome#and im poor#i got a 98 on my asvab and i think i picked a pretty neat job#i guess there is also a family history component#5th generation to serve#basic training#sad thoughts#growing up#us navy#im scared tbh#but thats okay
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i have so many abilities and make no money with them
#yes i can crochet paint sculpt bookbind design photograph bake sew screenprint linography motion graphics#and im poor#i just dont know how to sell my things#fran.txt
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POV: Some weird old guy chases you around a massive, unfamiliar room as three more tall things shout at you before he corners you, shocks the ever-loving shit out of you, and holds you up like some kind of trout.
#bitzbits#art#digital illustration#my art#ford pines#gravity falls#grunkle ford#stanford pines#clip studio paint#digital art#cycloptopus#the poor baby#he was so scared later in the episode what is this man doing#gravity falls ford#fordisoverparty#im allowed to say that
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drunken caitvi at da club……….
#caitvi#piltover's finest#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#i never know what to tag this poor lesbian as#arcane#fanart#my art#wlw#dry hunpimg. im hard.#i also noticed i keep drawing these two from the side a LOT i subconsciously crave sexy nose side profiles
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they should make a world where I can reheat my whole thing of leftovers and eat what I want out of it and then put it back in the fridge multiple times forever.
#^ guy who technically isnt supposed to eat leftovers because of the histamines#but tbf it's mostly animal-derived foods that gain histamines over time most already low histamine plant based food stays that way#and im poor
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Dick : Jasons been more, relaxed lately. It's unsettling.
Tim : Yeah, I've started spiking his water with mood stabilizers.
Dick : What
Tim : I've been thinking of doing it to the wider gotham water supply. Think about the crime rates.
#Im ngl. him disappearing in comics just to reappear and do wacky insane shit feels like hes going through the mother of all manic episodes#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#tim does not want to watch Jason put the batsuit on and try to convince some other poor soul to be his robin#red hood#batfam#CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG I DONT HAVE FAMILY / FRIENDS WITH MANIC EPISODES
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final bow / i hope all your dreams come true
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc gangle#gangle#fanart#tadc spoilers#every episode im like It can't be that Good and then its that good#poor ganjle.... i like calling her that
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Poor Zuko
He just wanted to join the Gaang but now the blind girl is moving metal, the sweet watergirl is bending blood and the kid is talking to spirits
At least he can count on Sokka to be normal. Oh, where did you say that sword was from?
Yeah, that’s right, fucking outer space
#poor zuko#prince zuko#zuko#avatar renaissance#avatar aang#avatar#avatar the last airbender#fire lord zuko#atla zuko#im loving the atla renaissance#atla#katara#aang#atla aang#toph beifong#atla toph#sokka#atla sokka#sokka avatar the last airbender#avatar sokka
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i want to go to melbourne again :(
#but im poor#and im poor#and im poooooorrrrr#and i hate planning things either if i wasnt pooooorrrr
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ractose intolerance 🧀
#mcyt#rats smp#ratssmp#rats in paris#inthelittlewood#rendog#poor lactose intolerant captain..#smp literally made to make my brain go brrr RATS RATS RATS#ok tomorrow im taking a literal break from constantly drawing rats.#even if its literally all my brain wants to do1!1
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He found the solution to Oswald running around the house
..Oswald's not happy about it
#poor oswald#this took me almost 6 hours to make-#im holding back so hard from making an AU for these guys...#into the pit#fnaf into the pit#fnaf itp#into the pit fnaf#spring bonnie#itp spring bonnie#itp oswald#fnaf
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there's downsides to ranking high in the hierarchy [prints]
#mass effect#mass effect trilogy#mass effect garrus#Garrus Vakarian#turian#alien#artists on tumblr#bioware#video games#mass effect fanart#art#digital art#illustration#human artist#milkyart#he may hate it but the getup is sexy as hell#doesn't hold a single sniper rifle though. garrus' yelp review: 0 stars#garrus: I should've died on omega (no charity balls on omega) (no charity on omega in general) (ever)#still not beating the sailor moon coloring allegations#is it too bold to add the print link right away. im so poor
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Birds of a Feather previous / next
tw: blood
#feralnette au#my art#birds of a feather#blasphemous arc#oh they're finally here. the fucking menace. the poor sopping wet beast#now listen before you all get mad this has been planned for many years#and their presence has been in this au for a long ass time#im gripping this au with both hands reminding the world its my silly little playground im about to go absolutely apeshit in#WOOO TIME FOR GODHOOD SHENANIGANSSSS
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not the past hanging on with an oppressive weight and the future pressing down on me with crushing intensity and my silly ass being square in the middle like scrat trying to keep a grip on that friggin acorn
#fjsjfj im Okay but i am Anxious i want things to go well and it isnt always easy#skelly speaks#oough i am at an age in my life.#and im trying to be with my partner...#and im still working on what ny trauma has done to me#and im poor#and my family is not doing the whole queer discussion so well#and my car is having issues#and the government wants money#and i have money owed to me but im struggling to get it#but we stay silly (':#finally starting five days a week this week again but god. at what cost
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Being jurgen leitner the day that gerry almost killed him was probably really surreal. Imagine you’re minding your business, collecting fucked up books, and out of nowhere this goth guy covered in eye tattoos shows up and beats you half to death, then stops, goes, “no you’re too pathetic to be jurgen leitner” and leaves without further elaboration. And you dont correct him, you like being alive after all, and after that you just… continue with your life. And then several years later you tell this to some random guy in the tunnels you’ve been hiding in, and he not only knows who the goth was, but seems somewhat fond of the goth. And then you get brutal pipe murdered by the random guy’s boss. Oops
#the magnus archives#tma#jurgen leitner#gerry keay#jon sims#elias bouchard#on an unrelated note#i think leitner was probably of the eye if he was of any of the fears#the eye is kind of the perfect symbiote#plus i feel like going ‘oh hey cursed books. im gonna find more!’ is so eye coded#not that im saying eye avatars have poor self preservation instincts or anything#(this is exactly what im saying)#the motto of the eye should be ‘i fucked around and found out’#not that ‘audio opperior vigilo’ stuff
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DC X DP PROMPT #4
Danny was one of the people hired to design/build the Watchtower. He got attached to it during this time and the space station is now considered as a part of his haunt.
This is the JLD's first time on the Watchtower, they IMMEDIATLY know what's up.
LJD: did you take a supernatural entities property or something?
LD: what? No! The lights are just like that :)
Danny, still employed on the Watchtower: Space go brrr
#dc x dp#dpxdc#im goiny crazy#im actually cooking#danny MADE the watchtower#thats HIS place now#JLD rockin up being like: whos crib is it really?#poor JL being liek: wdym :( we got this for us :(((#JL: i mean the light flicker and it get weird cold soemtimes but its space man :(#dannt lives on the Watchtower via employment
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