#he may hate it but the getup is sexy as hell

[milkywayes]

there's downsides to ranking high in the hierarchy [prints]

[julesthequirky]

Forget Me Not -One-

Summary: You wake up as Y/N Winchester, having no recollection how you came to be, all you know is there’s a Djinn out there and you have to find it. It’s your job, your duty, except the world isn’t as it should be. Castiel isn't Castiel and he’s claiming you aren't you. Or are you?

Warnings: Dissociative Identity Disorder, angst, language

You woke with a start. A blue curtain was pulled around you and you heard the steady beep of a machine beside you. The last you remembered was crashing through a window and hitting your head on the ground. Then darkness.

The Djinn! You had to find out where it had got to and how many more people it had caught.

You sat straight up and gave a gritted cry as you pulled out the IV. You wrapped your wrist with a cloth and quickly dressed. They didn’t appear to be your clothes, because none of the items contained plaid or denim. You grabbed your shoulder bag and left your little cubicle. You kept your head down just in case anybody recognised you.

Outside it was warm and the sun beat down on your head. You looked around the busy bay, not recognising anything. You spotted a sign. Vancouver General Hospital. Vancouver?! You weren’t even in America! You should have been in Iowa!

“Ah, shit!”

At that point, your bag started buzzing and ringing with some top 40’s chart hit. Urgh. You rummaged around until you found the offending sound. On caller ID you saw “Bae” on the display. Who the hell is Bae? You answered and put the phone to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Honey, oh thank God, I’ve been worried sick. Where are you? Everyone’s looking for you.”

Across the line it sounded a little like Castiel with a little less grit in his voice.

“Cas?”

There was a pause. “Did you hit your head again?”

Again? What the hell did that mean?

“What? Forget that” You waved a hand in front of your face as you spoke. “I need to get back to Iowa. There’s a Djinn, help me out.”

You heard a sigh.

“Oh baby, you hit your head hard, didn’t you?”

“Look, I may have had a tumble but I’m fine. Just get me to Iowa.” You ended the call.

You stood, wondering and waiting for Castiel. You walked circles until the boredom kicked in. He had called you baby and honey. Those words weren’t usually a part of his vacabulary. You knelt down on the sidewalk, dropping your bag to the ground in the process. Inside you grabbed a thick filofax and pulled it out. Inside it was full of thoughts and reprisals of days. On one side of the file, you saw your name and the anti-possession symbol. You flipped over the page and saw ‘read me’. You scoffed.

Below the sign was a letter. With your name on it.

 Y/N Winchester,

 Stay where you are and read this before doing ANYTHING.

 Answer all calls from ‘Bae’, you’ll recognise him, I promise. Let him know where you are so he can pick you up. Tell him the last thing you remember. He’ll be able to correct you. Listen to him.

 You are me. Integrate your life with my life. Do the things I would do. Wear the clothes I would wear. Listen to my music, read what I read, meet with my friends, go to the events and meetings.

 Last but not least: there are no monsters. They’re not real. The world you’re in is different from mine. So, please, don’t go searching.

 Y/N Collins x

 You shook your head. Whoever this lady was she had a stick up her ass. You hated being told what to do, everyone knew that. You stuffed the planner inside the bag. In there you found keys, a planner, a phone, power bank and cable, earphones, D&G sunglasses and two platinum gold rings. Maybe you could pawn them for cash, though it seemed whoever this so called other you was, they were loaded.

Fifteen minutes later a sleek black SUV pulled up beside you. The door opened, a foot stepped out, in bright trainers, leg clad in light blue denim. Anther foot followed and you saw Castiel in a dark blue shirt. His hair was wild and fluffed. He looked good. Sexy even. He’d always looked good in his usual getup, but this was different and you couldn’t keep the shock off your face.

“Cas, you got new duds! And a car!!”

He smiled at you then pulled you in for a hug. Your eyes widened. Cas was never one for physical affection.

“Oh my God, did you get a personality transplant?” you asked after he released you.

His eyes turned downcast as sadness tinged them and he gave you a weak smile.

“Let’s get you home shall we?”

“What? Home? God, no, Cas, I need to get to Iowa. There’s a Djinn.”

He reached into your bag and pulled out the filofax. He held it up.

“This has instructions for you when this happens. You need to read them.” He flipped it open and you rolled your eyes.

“I read her letter.”

“You did?” He looked at you, gripping the planner in his hands. “Well, that’s good.”

You looked at the car, at him and where you were.

“Did you lose your angel mojo or something? And how come you happen to be in Vancouver like me? I don’t even know how I ended up here.”

“I’ll explain on the way.” he said and gestured to the car.

You sighed and complied with his request. The interior of the car was plush. It was all leather and faux marble. He closed your door, walked round to his side and slid into the drivers seat, shutting the door after him.

It was cooler inside. He had the air-con on. Before you could talk a call came through. He answered. The voice you recognised.

“Hey, I got your text, is everything okay? Did you manage to find her?”

“Sam?”

There was a pause before either of them spoke.

“She hit her head, didn’t she?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I am right here, I can hear both of you.”

Castiel looked to you “I know, and ill explain everything to you once we get back, I promise. Meet us back at my apartment. Both of you.”

“Of course, man. We’ll be there. Need me to let Bob know?”

“I’ll let him know.”

“All right, see you soon, bye.”

“Bye.”

The call ended and it wasn’t too long before you pulled up to a luxurious block of apartments. Castiel cut the engine and stepped out. You stepped out and followed him. You eyed the doorman and Castiel pulled you through the atrium and into an elevator. He jabbed the 9 button. It was maddening how fast it took to reach the floor. He took you along a corridor and around a corner. Leaning against the wall by a door were Sam and Dean.

“Sam, Dean! What the hell are you guys doing in Vancouver? There’s a Djinn in Iowa!”

Dean looked at Sam and then to Castiel and back to you.

“Crap, you weren’t kidding. What do we tell Bob?”

“Nothing, I’ll tell him.” He opened the door, placed his hand on your lower back and guided you in.

You were amazed by the sheer size of the place. During the whole time you had known him, he hadn’t said the slightest about owning a large place. When he lost his wings, he had been homeless. This was a shock.

“Oh my God, Cas, I didn’t know you had money!”

As he guided you to a grey couch, you were astounded by the art he had on his walls, in awe of the oak sets he owned, and finally you sat. He sat opposite you as Sam and Dean sat on either side of you.

“You told me to be real and to be myself if this happened again, so I will. Firstly I’m not Castiel. I’m Misha, and they’re not Sam and Dean. They’re Jensen and Jared. We, all four of us work on a show called Supernatural where we play these characters, except when you hit your head, you weren’t yourself, you were somehow your character.”

You looked at him, letting it all sink in. You hoped to God this wasn’t true.

“There are no monsters. They don’t exist. There is no Djinn, darling. You don’t need to travel to Iowa. There, however was a Djinn in the last episode you played, from last season and we are now just picking up the season after being on hiatus.”

You couldn’t breathe.

“It can’t not be real.” you said after a few minutes.

“It’s true.” He stood up and went to the mantle, grabbing a photo and taking it over to you.

“This is us, on our wedding day.”

You took the photo from him, and saw yourself adorned in a white lace gown with 3/4 sleeves, holding a bouquet of white roses. Beside you was Castiel, or Misha.

Your adrenaline spiked and you flew up and pushed the photo into his hands. Your breath came out in a pant and you felt the nausea rising. This was not your reality. Your reality was fighting monsters alongside your brothers.

“I married fake Castiel.” you gasped your world turning upside down.

You stumbled out of their way, holding a hand to the wall, your other pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to get your breath back and desperately trying to make the dizziness go away. A hand touched your shoulder.

“Honey-”

“Please, don’t. I-I’m not her.”

His hand fell from your shoulder.

“She said when this happened to integrate you with everything she did. Why don’t you try it?”

“No…No. She’s so organised. I’m not. She writes her thoughts out in that planner of hers for Christ’s sake. I bet she even has restroom breaks in there.”

“They’re for you to read. Why don’t we take you to set?”

“Do you think that’s a good idea, Misha?” Fake Dean asked.

“It might help her to adjust.”

The set. Of course. You looked at them.

“Take me there.”

Forget Me Not Tags:

@ain-t-bovvered @ezilyamuzed

Misha Fic Tags:

@goobykeding

[kdfrqqg]

Don’t touch the nog -- Dec 10th

Sam X Reader with Dean, Jody, Cas, Crowley, Jack, Donna, Clair & Alex

Summary: Reader throws a Christmas party at the bunker and she is a little stressed out.

Word Count: 1K

A/N: This was written for @webcricket advent challenge.  Complete fluff. Prompt was “Eggnog.”

Warnings: some cussing and sexual innuendo

 Bright red lipstick and gloss shined on your lips as you finished putting the finishing touches on your outfit.  Your Santa headband had one of those red bouncy springs on it with a white pompom at the end and you found one of the tackiest Christmas sweaters possible with lights on it.  You looked super goofy but you had convinced all the guys to wear them, well everyone but Dean’s dumbass.  Cas and Jack were easy to talk into it because they trust you and well monkey see monkey do.  Sam was a little harder but as soon as you pouted he was cool with the idea.  But Dean was being an amazing ass on this, you marched into his room, “Put it on or you can’t come to the party you twat!” You spat while we chuckled at the fact that you looked like a sexy elf minus the shoes.

“Ok ok, I’ll do it, but only for you Sweetheart.” Dean finally caved.

This was not the way you wanted to start your holiday pissed off at one of your boys.  “Here!” Sam handed you a shot of whiskey noticing that you were frantically cleaning up the kitchen talking to yourself. “You need to relax.  Everything is going to perfect.”

The amber liquid burned going down your throat, “Why did he have to fight me on this?  He such a dork, I thought he’d be into this.  We have so much to celebrate, we have Jack now, Cas, Mary and even Crowley are back.  Why couldn’t he just do this for me?” You ranted and Sam pulled you into a hug.  

“He may be a dork but he is a grumpy dork.” Sam said with a laugh and you sighed knowing he was right. “Why don’t I help you with the eggnog?”

“Oh no! You are not spiking the eggnog.  I don’t need to get drunk off of one glass of Sam Winchester’s famous nog. You stay away from it!” You ordered.

Guests arrived, you had missed your girlfriends Donna and Jody so much and of course the girls Alex and Claire joined.

“I don’t understand why you invited Crowley?” Jody whispered while you put out more hors d'oeuvres.

“He kinda died for us so that’s like a big deal. You just don’t like him because he tried to kill that one time.” You explained.

“Damn right!” Jody said.

“Hey give him a chance, he��s better than he used to be.” You argued turning around eyeing two men who should be no where near the punch bowl. “oh no they didn’t!” You mumbled to yourself, “Crowley, Sam Winchester, you two, back the hell away from the eggnog!” You caught then red handed pouring some type of liquor in.  “If I see either one of you around this bowl it’ll be hell to pay.”  Both men backed away from the table laughing the whole time, you weren’t very intimidating anyways but this getup was undermining any possible threat you made. At least Dean looked cozy in the couch next to Donna, they were almost a postcard of Christmas perfection with their adorable holiday sweaters and his arm draped across her shoulder.  You took out your phone and captured a few candid shots because Dean would clam up if you asked him to pose.

You went back into the kitchen to pull out some more trays. “Ok, here’s your chance.” Sam told Jack.

“But won’t (Y/N) be mad if I do this?” Jack asked.

“Um maybe but she’d really be mad if I did it, she’ll forgive you.” Sam explained.  Jack moseyed on over and poured the whole bottle of rum in the bowl.

With all the trays of food on the table it was time to take a break and just enjoy the party, but first you wanted a glass of eggnog.  One sip and the alcohol was overpowering the taste of the eggnog. “Sam Winchester,” you marched to him, “I told you not to mess the bowl, everyone is going to get…” His hands roughly pulled your face to his as wet drunken almost sloppy lips crashed against yours. His tongue forced it’s way into your mouth and across your teeth. “Ok” you breathed out pulling away in surprise. “What was that for?” You smiled thinking damn I look like Christmas threw up and Sam finally makes his move.

“Mistletoe,” he pointed to the door frame above your heads, “plus you’re gorgeous when you’re angry. Everyone’s having a good time who cares if they get a little drunk.”

You turned around tasting the way he kissed you and wanting more, “It’s just Jack. I’ve never dealt with a drunk Nephilim, have you?”

Sam wrapped his arms around your waist, “No but he’ll be fine.”

“Look at how he’s hitting on Claire over there.” You gestured with your hand, leaning into his warm hold.  “I need him not to grow up so damn fast.  And don’t you think that’s a little weird him and her together both of them think of Cas as their dad.”

“Not so much, Jack looks up to Cas.” His deep voice spoke softly in your ear, “And Claire is one of Cas’ vessels plus she’s pretty kick ass like you, there’s no doubt that he will have feelings for her. They may kinda be like brother and sister but they definitely are not brother and sister.” He kissed your neck before he moved his hands down your hips. “Sorry, the mistletoe made me do it.”

“Yeah the mistletoe.” You giggled as your hand lovingly graced over the spot on your neck trying to sear it into your memory.

“Why don’t you come to my room when the party is over and I’ll give you an early Christmas present?” He sucked your earlobe.

Your breath hitched as your core clinched around nothing, “Only if you bring the mistletoe and save us a glass or two of eggnog.” You quietly spoke in his ear before you walked away pretending like nothing happened.

I love all the likes and reblogs but I really do want your feedback. Please leave me a comment; let me know what worked or what didn’t. If you hated it let me know what I could do different. It may determine how I write my next fic.

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[fashiontrendin-blog]

3 Makeup Enthusiasts on Why They Wear a Full Face

https://fashion-trendin.com/3-makeup-enthusiasts-on-why-they-wear-a-full-face/

3 Makeup Enthusiasts on Why They Wear a Full Face

A good portion of my mornings are spent trying to figure out a weather-appropriate and commuter-friendly outfit that communicates whatever nuanced (or not) version of my personality I want to project. I can leave the house in “jeans and a T-shirt” and be fine, but I feel at my best and most ready to charge forward into the exciting or terrifying unknown when I’m head-to-toe dressed. I’m sure we all have our version of this. Maybe for you, it’s washing your hair or brewing a pot of coffee.

For many women, it’s putting on makeup.

With Duality Month in mind, I spoke to three women who wear a full face of makeup every single day: liner, eyelashes, shadow — the works. In the same way a fully considered outfit makes me feel put together and confident, makeup, to these women, is like a coat of armor. We spoke about this coat of armor (two of them said makeup made them feel like a superhero): what it’s like to put it on and what it’s like to take it off. Below, they explain how wearing makeup makes them feel while revealing who they are as two different versions of themselves.

Zena Hanna, 31

When did you get into makeup?

I was in my early twenties. In high school and college, I didn’t really think about it. My mom wasn’t a full-face-of-makeup type of woman. She had perfect skin and for her it was all about the skincare — still is. My sister never wore any makeup either, so for me, a natural face was the only thing I knew.

Honestly, I started wearing full coverage foundation because I had a lot of facial hair and it made me super insecure. I’m Middle Eastern, so it was just something that ran in my genes! I felt like my facial hair was so bad that I’d wear turtlenecks and just cake on makeup because I was embarrassed by it. I’ve since done laser and my confidence has definitely gotten a boost.

What’s your relationship like with makeup today?

I love it. I love the femininity that surrounds it; I love the connection to other women when we talk about makeup or beauty tips. Also, makeup just makes me feel put-together.

I was talking to a friend of mine who’s a tattoo artist. She’s always decked out in the coolest jewelry, rings on rings, a septum piercing — and no makeup. (She looks beautiful. We all do. There’s no such thing as an ugly woman.) She thinks it’s funny that I don’t do my nails, don’t wear jewelry, none of those things — but that I do wear makeup, and feel weird without it. I was like, “Yeah, but what if you left the house without your jewelry on?” And she was like, “Yeah, I would feel weird.” That’s part of her identity and look. Whether it’s makeup or jewelry or clothes or shoes, it’s just another form of self-expression.

Tell me about your daily makeup routine.

I put on SPF tinted under-eye cream, then NARS foundation. I try to just use one drop because I don’t want to have a caked-on look. It’s full-coverage and it does a pretty good job. Then I blend it all together.

A friend of mine who works at L’Oréal gifted me the eyeshadow palette I used today, but I never normally wear eyeshadow; I just put bronzer on my eyelids. Then I put on my eyeliner that I’ve been using for I don’t even know how many years. It’s NYX. I never wear mascara because I hate taking it off. Then I do bronzer — right under my cheekbones and blend it in. Just one streak of the bronzer shade from Kat Von D’s contouring kit. (I couldn’t be bothered with the full-contour thing for very long.) After bronzer, a touch of blush, and then highlighter. I just got the Rihanna Fenty highlighter. It’s amazing. Then I mix it all together.

I always put on red lipstick for events, but then I would eat and it would come off and I’d be too lazy to put it back on. But then I went to the Glossier store and I got Generation Z in Zip. It literally feels like Chapstick, stays on and it’s super bright. My whole routine takes me five to seven minutes, and I try to keep it as low-maintenance as I can.

When do you go totally bare-faced?

At the beach. And even then, if there’s a tinted something, I’ll put it on because I want an even skin tone. If it’s the weekend and I’m just going somewhere local, I’ll leave it. When I travel I don’t wear as much makeup. Especially if it’s somewhere hot.

Makeup on or off, you’re still you. What would you say to someone who argues otherwise?

I think we have the freedom to do whatever the hell we want. You’re not wearing a mask [when you put on makeup]; you’re still very much visible to the entire world. If you feel like you want to hide, then you can address that in your own way with makeup too. But if makeup is someone’s [form of] self-expression, then let them do that. They’re not harming anybody.

Wearing red lipstick makes me feel really feminine. I feel sexy, and I don’t otherwise feel sexy all the time. If you don’t want to wear it, that’s great. You don’t have to. It’s amazing and commendable that you feel completely comfortable as you are in your own skin. That’s awesome and that’s something that we can all aspire to, but we also don’t have to.

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Follow Zena on Instagram @itszenahanna

Ty Lazauskas, 25

When did you get into makeup?

I grew up listening to David Bowie, and then the mid-2000s, the mall-emo thing happened. I got into this type of makeup when I bought my first My Chemical Romance album. Back in 2005, dramatic eyeliner was a big deal, and I saw people of all genders rocking makeup on MTV. It destigmatized the idea of makeup for me, and I HAD to have weird makeup like the glam bands and MySpace scene queens). I distinctly remember when I told my mom I couldn’t go to the eighth grade dance because I couldn’t find red eyeliner anywhere. I did crazy dramatic stuff and got sent to the principal’s office all the time. I was just like, “I’m going to wear bigger and bigger makeup until they don’t let me into class.”

What’s your relationship with makeup today?

I suffer from chronic illness, so waking up in the morning and seeing how tired I look bums me out. But when I put on makeup, I feel like I’m putting on dramatic face paint to deal with my day. I don’t really have a lot of control over how my body looks because chronic pain took that away from me, but I do have control over how much I put on my face or how I do my hair. Makeup makes me feel invincible, and like I can be out in the world and people will see as I want to be seen. It just makes me feel like a superhero, I guess. It helps me cover up how tired and painful my life is.

One of my best friends recently told me that skincare and makeup is witchy, and it’s so true. It sounds dramatic, but sometimes in the morning I’ll light a candle while I’m doing makeup and it feels ritualistic, in a way. I’m looking at my own face for 30 minutes and watching it transform from tired to fabulous and I really enjoy the process. Sometimes, when I’m really tired, I don’t, but I would say that 90% of the time I really enjoy the time it takes [to do my makeup]. I know there are shortcuts, but I don’t want to take them.

Tell me about your daily makeup routine.

I wake up at 5 a.m. every day and it takes me 20 to 30 minutes to do my makeup. Sometimes I’ll see something new on Instagram and I’ll try it. I got really into the last season of America’s Next Top Model and there was a girl who had fishtail eyebrows and I was doing that for a while so that would add five or ten minutes.

I usually start with foundation, then I do a contour every day. This is my everyday makeup. Then I put on two to three different types of eyeliner. Then I bake, which is when you press loose powder under your eye in a triangle. It helps keep your under-eye makeup in place and stops any eyeshadow that may fall from rubbing in. Then I do brows last, while I’m waiting for my mascara to dry. I don’t do lipstick every day just because I drink a lot of coffee. My coworkers will look in the dishwasher and be like “Okay, Ty, we know you’ve had four cups of coffee today because there are four cups with purple lipstick on them.” So I’ve cooled it with the lipstick. It’s 20 to 30 minutes start to finish.

I used to work in a doctor’s offices, and they would make passing comments about unprofessional makeup — but then I just got a new job. In my office now… nobody really cares. They’re all really sweet artistic people so they don’t really care what I wear or what I do, so I’m really lucky in that regard. My makeup is only a pain at work when we’re shooting on a rooftop in the summer and by the end of the day it’s a little melty.

When do you not wear makeup?

I think more people in my life have seen me naked than barefaced. Like, I think there are people who I consider to be best friends of mine who’ve seen me without makeup twice. But if they do, it’s usually at my place and we’re doing face masks or something. It just rarely happens. Even if I’m going to get groceries, I am done up. One of my best friends who’s a tattoo artist, she painted this quote for me and stuck it on a wall at her tattoo shop that says, “If you’re going to run into your ex, be wearing black lipstick.”

I’ve taken one picture of myself without makeup on, ever. So for this shoot, it was weird to be around people I’m just meeting and take everything off. Because of my illness, without makeup on, I’m more likely to hear people say that I look sick or tired, so when I am not wearing a full face of makeup, I feel more vulnerable. I won’t leave the house until I have makeup on. I would honestly rather go to the grocery store in my underwear than go to the grocery store without makeup on.

It’s kind of like David Bowie. He was never on stage without a getup. I just won’t leave the house until I have makeup on. I would honestly rather go to the grocery store in my underwear than go to the grocery store without makeup on.

Makeup on or off, you’re still you. What would you say to someone who argues otherwise?

Makeup makes me a different person in the same way that wearing business clothes might make someone a different person than they are at home in pajamas. People are more confident when they wear their favorite outfit or nice underwear.

It’s like the saying, “Confidence comes from within”: If I don’t personally think I look my best, I’m less likely put myself out there. I’m less likely to talk to strangers or engage with people when I don’t have makeup on. And I don’t think that means I’m two-faced. I think everyone has things like that. Confidence ebbs and flows throughout the day. For me, makeup is a booster. Something my therapist says all the time is, “We have no control over the things we feel, but we can control how we react to them.” And I feel that makeup helps me react to things better. It helps me be more deliberate. It effects how I engage in conversations with people and who I choose to talk to.

What’s it like when you take your makeup off? What’s the literal process like, and what’s it like emotionally?

When I’m lazy, I’ll just use a face cleanser and I’ll still have half my eyeliner on and just say fuck it. But I try to have a pretty exhaustive skincare routine because as I said before, skincare is witchy and I’m really into it. I try to do the two-step method where I do an oil cleanser and then a foaming cleanser because it’s the best way to get rid of makeup. And then when I’m feeling it, I like to do a face mask afterwards. Sometimes I do three face masks. And then after it all comes off and I put moisturizer on, I feel like a fresh new person. The feeling of wearing makeup is second only to how it feels to put on a shit ton of moisturizer and go to bed. I just feel like, “I’ll be so beautiful in the morning!” It’s just the promise of a beautiful tomorrow — I feel like rarely that’s the case, but it feels that way.

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Follow Ty on Instagram @sp_aceghost

LaShell Kao, 35

When did you get into makeup?

High school is when I started to wear makeup, but I started wearing a full face within the last couple of years.

What’s your relationship like with makeup now?

I don’t want to say it gives me confidence, because that sounds like I don’t have confidence without makeup, and I don’t think that’s the case. But it just prepares me for what’s happening. It gets me ready. Did you ever see Breakfast at Tiffany’s? When Audrey Hepburn’s character says, “A girl doesn’t read this sort of thing without her lipstick” at the end in the cab — I feel that way. If I’m about to meet someone and I’m terrified, I check my lipstick and just make sure everything’s in place.

I think I’m the same person with or without makeup on. Who am I with my makeup on? I want to say a superhero but I feel like that sounds kind of cheesy. That is kind of how I feel. That’s the first thing that comes to my mind.

Tell me about your daily makeup routine.

I wash my face, then put on sunblock, primer, and foundation. I wear Makeup Forever because it matches my skin tone. And then I contour. Then I use an eyeshadow palette to do the look I want depending on how I feel and what I’m doing. Sometimes on weekends, if I don’t have anything to do, I’ll test out new looks. The false eyelashes are recent. I saw people complete their looks with eyelashes on YouTube and thought it looked amazing. The first few times I felt ridiculous, and then it took so long to do and it was a pain in the butt, but now, I pop them on quickly and I feel kind of weird without them. Now that it’s getting really hot though, I may have to stop.

I know a lot of people who don’t like the process of putting makeup on. I really, really do. I sit down, I have everything laid out. It’s very ritualistic. And I won’t leave the house without having done my makeup done. I’ll go to the store or something like that [without it on], but if I’m going anywhere else, I will not leave the house without it.

I wake up at 4:50 a.m., but that’s just so I don’t have to rush. I have to be at work by 8. I can do my makeup in about 40 minutes. I once saw a girl on the train do her entire face of makeup and I thought it was amazing. For me though, it’s very private. I don’t even like putting lipstick on in front of people. It’s a private thing to me.

What’s it like when you take your makeup off? What’s the literal process like, and what’s it like emotionally? So when do you not wear makeup?

Honestly, as soon as I get home, I take it off. I just take a shower and wash it all away. In my house, I’m barefaced all the time. I kind of feel like: Okay, we’re done with this day and it all goes down the drain. I wash my hair and everything and I just let it go. I’m happy to take it off at the end of the day. Not that it’s a burden, but at the end of the day, I’m happy that it’s done.

Makeup on or off, it’s still you, but what would you say to someone who says otherwise?

I do have a fear that someone will say, “You wear makeup because you have low self-esteem,” or something like that. But that’s not the case. It’s just fun. That’s it. It’s like art. We wear clothes to make us feel better. Our faces are kind of the same.

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Follow LaShell on Instagram @dottie_hills

Photographed by Grace Rivera.