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sonarspace · 2 months ago

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࣪ ˖⟡ BREAKING POINT (FT. TOJI)

꒰ synopsis. toji’s job was simple: watch, report, and move on but when the lines between his mission and his desires blur, he’s forced to confront a breaking point he never saw coming. content. potentially dark themes. (stalking. mention of death.) nsfw. (cunnilingus) wc. 8k–ish. (oops) an. it’s very late so i’m sorry if certain things don’t make sense. there will be a part two, hopefully soon.

toji never liked simple jobs. the thrill was always in the hunt, in the unpredictability of his targets. but this time? this time felt... different. he’d tracked down his mark to a small, unassuming neighborhood, half-convinced he’d been sent on some kind of wild goose chase. this place wasn’t exactly a breeding ground for threats.

and that’s where you come in.

you’re not what he expected—at all. no training, no hint of power, no connection to the dangerous world he roams. just... you, living your life, completely unaware that a man like him is lurking in the shadows, keeping an eye on you. it’s almost a joke. the ease of it should make him itch to move on, to wrap things up fast. but instead, he finds himself sticking around, watching from a distance as you go about your day.

and damn, you’re making it hard to leave.

there’s something about the way you carry yourself—unconcerned, relaxed, like you know nothing about the danger he could bring into your world. it almost makes him feel... invisible, and that’s a feeling toji hasn’t had in years. the way you look at the world, unguarded, it’s like you don’t know people like him exist. you’re a mystery that’s more enticing than he wants to admit.

then, one night, you catch him.

it’s a fluke, really—a careless mistake on his part. he’s standing in the shadows outside your apartment, watching as you lock up, but tonight you linger, glancing around as if sensing something’s off. and then your gaze lands on him.

“you gonna stand there all night or what?” you ask, your tone half-amused, half-annoyed. it’s bold, like you’re talking to some stray cat on the sidewalk instead of a trained killer.

toji feels a flicker of irritation, mixed with something else he can’t place. usually, people run when they see him, or at the very least, they freeze. but you? you look at him like he’s just another random inconvenience, and that almost pisses him off. almost.

he steps out of the shadows, crossing the distance between you in a few strides, his figure looming over you. “didn’t know you were waiting for an invitation,” he murmurs, voice low, watching as your expression shifts, just a little hint of caution now, mixed with curiosity.

“what, do you follow everyone home?” you challenge, crossing your arms as if you’re unbothered by the proximity. “or am i just that special?”

toji smirks, something dark flashing in his eyes. “depends. maybe i just like the view.”

it’s a cheap line, but it gets the reaction he’s looking for—your eyes narrow, a spark of annoyance flickering across your face. you’re not scared, though, not really. if anything, you look like you’re ready to push back, and that... that’s something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

“you’ve got a weird way of complimenting people,” you shoot back, the faintest smirk playing at your lips.

“toji,” he says suddenly, the name rolling off his tongue like it’s an afterthought. “figured it’s only polite to introduce myself.”

your brows lift slightly, but you recover quickly. “well, toji, you’re still creeping around outside my building.”

“and you’re still talking to me,” he counters smoothly, tilting his head just enough to give you the impression he’s sizing you up. “guess that makes us even.”

you narrow your eyes at him, irritation sparking, but it’s laced with a strange flicker of curiosity you can’t quite push down. “you’re weird,” you mutter, your voice losing some of its edge. “you know that, right?”

toji chuckles low, the sound rough but not entirely unkind. “i’ve been called worse,” he says, stepping back, his gaze still locked on you. “don’t stay out too late. wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”

you blink at him, caught off guard by the unexpected hint of... concern? but before you can respond, he’s already turning on his heel, his hands shoved into his pockets as he strides off into the dark.

────

over the next week, his presence becomes almost predictable. every evening, when you glance outside, he’s there, leaning against the streetlamp or pacing the sidewalk. it’s unsettling at first, but eventually, you find yourself getting used to it. you even start thinking about how to break the tension. maybe if you offered him something, this strange game would become a little less unnerving.

so you bake cookies—just a simple gesture, something to bridge the gap. but when you head downstairs, holding the small jar of freshly baked cookies in your hands, his usual spot is empty.

you glance around, half-expecting him to emerge from the shadows, but there’s nothing. just the dim streetlight and the quiet hum of the city. for some reason, the absence stings more than you expect. had he moved on? stopped stalking you? the thought should bring relief, but instead, it leaves a pang of disappointment.

────

a week later, you’re walking home from work, the late evening air cool against your skin. it’s a quiet night, uneventful—until you feel the faint prickle of unease. someone is following you. the footsteps behind you are too deliberate, too measured, sending a shiver up your spine.

you quicken your pace, your keys clutched tightly in your hand, your mind racing as you glance over your shoulder. the man trailing you is nondescript, but his intent is clear in the way his gaze locks onto you, unyielding.

just as he closes the distance, a shadow moves faster than you can process. the air shifts, heavy and violent, and before you can even register what’s happening, the man’s feet leave the ground. a dull thud echoes through the night as he crumples to the pavement, his body limp, unmoving.

you freeze, your breath catching in your throat, your eyes wide as the shadow that felled him takes shape. “toji...” you gasp, the name tumbling from your lips as your gaze darts from him to the man sprawled on the ground. “did you—did you kill him?!”

toji steps forward, brushing his knuckles against his shirt, his expression calm, unbothered. “no,” he mutters, glancing down at the unconscious man.

you stare at the scene, your chest rising and falling in shallow, uneven breaths. then your eyes lock onto him, and for the first time, you notice the state he’s in—bruises darkening his cheekbone, a shallow cut near his temple. there’s a stiffness in the way he moves, like every step costs him something.

“toji...” you breathe, softer this time, the concern in your voice impossible to hide. your hand twitches at your side, almost reaching for him, but you stop yourself just before you do. “are you okay?”

he tilts his head, his smirk faint, almost weary. “you’re worried about me princess?” he asks, his tone laced with faint amusement.

but your questions spill out before you can stop them, each one tripping over the next. “what happened to you? where were you all this time? who is that guy? why was he—”

toji’s hands come up, his fingers gripping your arms gently but firmly, grounding you. “breathe,” he says, his voice low but steady, his gaze holding yours. “just... breathe.”

you blink up at him, startled into silence, your chest still heaving as you try to process everything at once. his touch is warm, solid, a tether pulling you back from the edge of your spiraling thoughts.

“i’ll tell you everything,” he murmurs, his grip loosening slightly, though his hands stay on you. “but first, you need to calm down.”

you swallow hard, nodding, your breaths coming slower now, though the weight of the moment still presses heavy against your chest. toji’s gaze lingers on you for a moment longer before he steps back, his expression softening ever so slightly.

toji’s hands fall from your arms, but his gaze doesn’t waver. there’s something steady, almost unshakable, in the way he looks at you, like he’s already made up his mind about what comes next.

“i need you to trust me,” he says, his voice low but firm, the weight of his words settling between you.

you blink, your breath catching for a moment. “trust you?” you repeat, incredulous, your eyes darting between him and the man still unconscious on the ground. “toji, i don’t even know you.”

he huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head slightly. “you don’t have to,” he mutters, his tone lighter but edged with something darker, something urgent. “just please, trust that i know what i’m doing.”

“why?” you ask softly, your voice trembling.

toji’s gaze lingers on the man sprawled on the ground, his expression grim, tension radiating from his frame. when he looks back at you, there’s no trace of humor left in his eyes.

“because this man was here to kill you,” he says flatly, his voice low and heavy, the weight of the words sinking into your chest like stones.

your breath catches, your mind scrambling to keep up. “kill me?” you repeat, your voice rising slightly. “how do you even know that? who are you?”

he exhales, dragging a hand down his face, his knuckles brushing against the fresh bruise on his jaw. “just—please,” he mutters, his voice thick with frustration, “let me take you somewhere safe. i’ll explain everything, but not here.”

you shake your head, your arms crossing tightly over your chest, as if that alone can keep him from pulling you into his orbit. “my apartment is safe,” you insist, your voice steadier than you feel. “we can go there. but i’m not going anywhere else.”

toji groans softly, muttering something under his breath, his jaw tightening. “no, you’re not safe here,” he argues, his tone sharper now. “people are coming. more of them.”

your stomach flips at his words, dread curling in your gut. “who’s coming?” you demand, your voice trembling despite your best efforts.

he doesn’t answer right away, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. finally, he shakes his head, his voice softer now but no less urgent. “please,” he says, his eyes locking onto yours, his voice dipping into something almost pleading. “just—”

“no,” you cut him off, your tone final. “if you want to talk, we’re doing it in my apartment. i’m not going anywhere.”

toji lets out a sharp exhale, his shoulders slumping slightly as he stares at you, clearly debating his next move. after a moment, he relents, jerking his head toward your building. “fine,” he mutters.

inside, your apartment is warm and inviting, a cozy little sanctuary from the chaos outside. the faint scent of vanilla lingers in the air, mingling with the soft glow of a small lamp on your end table. the space is lived-in, filled with personal touches—books scattered across the coffee table and a throw blanket draped over the back of the couch.

toji steps in, his sharp gaze sweeping over the room, taking in every detail. his expression softens briefly, the faintest flicker of something almost fond crossing his face. “cute place,” he mutters, the words gruff but genuine.

before you can respond, a tiny, black-and-white blur darts across the room, a soft, rumbling purr filling the air as a fluffy cat weaves around toji’s legs. its bright green eyes gleam mischievously as it nudges against his boots, its tail flicking with casual arrogance.

toji tenses, jerking his foot back like he’s just stepped on something dangerous. “what the—?”

you can’t help the laugh that escapes you as you kneel to scoop the cat into your arms, its purring growing louder as it nuzzles into your neck. “oh, ninja, meet toji. toji, this is ninja,” you say, grinning up at him as you scratch behind the cat’s ears.

“ninja,” he repeats flatly, glaring at the tiny creature like it’s somehow offended him. “you named it ninja.”

“he’s stealthy,” you reply with a shrug, holding the cat up to face him. ninja blinks lazily at toji, his green eyes half-lidded as if bored by the entire exchange.

toji sighs, muttering something under his breath about “useless little nuisances,” but he doesn’t move, watching as you set ninja down. the cat trots off, tail high, completely unbothered by the towering man now occupying his space.

toji exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. “we don’t have much time,” he says, his tone sharpening as his gaze snaps back to you. “we need to go.”

but you plant your feet, crossing your arms over your chest, your expression firm. “not until you tell me what’s going on,” you say. “from the beginning.”

he groans, his head tipping back briefly before he looks at you again, his jaw tight. “this isn’t the time for a story,” he mutters. “you want answers, fine. but we need to move.”

“i’m not going anywhere until you explain,” you reply, your voice steady. “start talking, toji.”

toji groans, pinching the bridge of his nose before leveling you with a steady, unreadable gaze. “fine. you want to know what’s going on? here it is,” he says, his voice low and measured, like he’s choosing every word carefully. “i was assigned to gather intel on you. you’ve been classified as a threat.”

“a threat?” you repeat, your brows furrowing in disbelief. “me? why?”

“because of your father,” he replies, his tone clipped. “he was involved in some... shady business.”

you take a step back, your pulse quickening. “my parents are dead,” you say, your voice trembling, the words scraping against your throat. “they died in a car accident years ago.”

“i know that,” toji says, his voice softening just enough to make the tension in the room feel heavier. “but how do you think they died?”

the question hits like a hammer to your chest, the room tilting slightly as his words sink in. “you’re saying...” you trail off, your voice barely above a whisper. your thoughts race, piecing together fragments of a past you’d never questioned. “their car crash wasn’t an accident?” your stomach churns as the realization dawns on you, sharp and cruel.

toji doesn’t answer immediately, but the look in his eyes is enough to confirm it. you feel frozen, your legs unsteady beneath you, your breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps.

“breathe,” toji says softly, stepping closer. “look, i know it’s a lot. but we don’t have time to unpack all of this right now.” his voice is firm but not unkind, his gaze steady as he watches you struggle to process everything. “i need to get you out of here before they come.”

he turns toward the window, pulling the curtain back just enough to peer outside. his shoulders tense, his jaw tightening as he spots something in the distance. “shit,” he mutters under his breath. “they’re already here.”

“who’s here?” you ask, your voice barely steady.

“people who won’t hesitate to finish what they started with your parents,” he replies grimly. “we need to leave. now.”

you hesitate, your hands trembling as you clutch the back of a chair for support. “i can’t leave ninja,” you say, your voice breaking slightly.

toji glances at you, his expression hard, but then he sighs. “fine. bring the damn cat,” he mutters. “but grab your essentials. only what you need.”

you nod, swallowing hard as you rush to your bedroom. ninja’s carrier sits by the door, and you quickly scoop him up, his soft purring a faint comfort against the chaos unraveling around you. you throw a few shirts and pants into a small bag, along with your phone charger, some cat snacks, and ninja’s favorite toy. your hands tremble as you zip it shut, your mind spinning with questions you don’t have time to ask.

toji meets you at the door, grabbing the bag from your hands with ease. “stay close to me,” he says firmly, his tone leaving no room for argument. you clutch ninja’s carrier tightly, nodding as he leads you toward the stairs instead of the elevator.

he pulls out his phone as you descend, speaking in a low voice. “gojo,” he mutters, his tone urgent. “send backup. now.”

you can’t hear the response on the other end, but the name lingers in your mind. gojo. another question for later.

toji suddenly halts, his body tense as he peers through the narrow window on the stairwell door. you follow his gaze, your heart stopping as you see men entering your floor, their movements calculated, their intentions clear.

he turns to you, his hand firm on your shoulder. “stay quiet. stay behind me,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

you watch as the men fan out on your floor, their presence clearing the stairwell for now. toji gestures sharply, and you follow him as he moves quickly, leading you downward again. your heart pounds in your chest, every creak of the stairs feeling impossibly loud.

you reach the basement parking lot, the space eerily quiet except for a single man stationed near the exit. toji moves like a shadow, closing the distance before the man can react. one quick strike, and the guard crumples to the ground, unconscious.

“come on,” toji urges, his voice low as he glances back at you. you hurry after him, clutching ninja’s carrier as your legs shake beneath you.

a sleek car pulls up, its headlights cutting through the dimness of the garage. the driver’s side window rolls down, revealing a man with dark hair tied into two buns and faint dark circles under his eyes. he peers at you briefly before addressing toji. “you’re late.”

“shut up, choso,” toji mutters, opening the back door and motioning for you to get in. you slide into the back seat, holding ninja close as the carrier shifts in your lap. toji closes the door behind you before sliding into the passenger seat. “drive.”

choso doesn’t hesitate, pulling out of the parking lot with practiced ease, the car gliding into the quiet streets. the tension in the air is thick, but no one speaks. the black cars you feared never materialize behind you, the route clear as choso expertly navigates the city streets, heading toward the outskirts.

you sit silently in the back seat, your arms wrapped protectively around ninja’s carrier, your eyes fixed on the shifting shadows outside. your mind races, replaying toji’s words over and over. their car crash wasn’t an accident. the weight of it settles heavily in your chest, your breath shallow as you try to process what it all means.

toji glances at you through the rearview mirror, his expression unreadable. he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t press. he knows this is a lot to take in—too much, even—but he also knows there’s no way to soften the truth.

the car slows as they pull into a small gas station, the bright fluorescent lights casting harsh shadows across the cracked pavement. choso cuts the engine, nodding toward a second car parked discreetly in the lot. “switching vehicles,” he says simply, already getting out.

toji turns in his seat, his gaze landing on you. “you need anything?” he asks, his voice low but steady.

you shake your head, your grip tightening slightly on ninja’s carrier. “no,” you murmur, your voice quiet, barely audible.

he watches you for a moment longer before stepping out of the car. you don’t move, your thoughts still tangled and heavy, the soft rumble of ninja’s purring the only thing grounding you.

when toji returns, he opens the back door and hands you a cold bottle of water and a small pack of citrus-flavored candy. your eyebrows furrow in confusion as you take the items, your gaze darting up to meet his. “how did you—” you start, but then it hits you. he’s been watching me. the thought stings, a strange mix of discomfort and something else you can’t quite name.

toji leans against the doorframe, his smirk faint but noticeable. “figured you’d need something,” he says simply, not offering more than that.

you exhale softly, your fingers brushing over the pack before tucking it away. “thanks,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

“don’t mention it,” he replies, stepping back to let you out of the car.

the three of you transfer into the second vehicle, ninja settling in your lap once more as you strap in. the silence follows you as the new car pulls onto the highway, the city lights fading behind you, replaced by the sprawling emptiness of the outskirts. it feels surreal, like the ground beneath your life has shifted, leaving you grasping for something solid.

────

the car pulls off the main road onto a narrow dirt path, winding through dense trees until a modest house comes into view. the structure is secluded, its exterior unassuming, the kind of place that could disappear into the background without much effort.

as the car rolls to a stop, the front door swings open, and a man with white hair steps out. he’s tall, his posture relaxed, and there’s a boyish grin on his face as he approaches, completely unfazed by the tension hanging in the air.

“welcome, welcome,” he says brightly, pulling open the back door before you can even unbuckle. his eyes immediately land on ninja’s carrier, and his grin widens. “and who’s this little guy?”

you blink, caught off guard as he leans down, cooing softly at the cat. “hey there, buddy,” he murmurs, lifting the carrier carefully from your lap. ninja lets out a soft meow, pressing his nose against the mesh, and the man chuckles. “oh, i like him already.”

“give it a rest, gojo,” toji mutters as he rounds the car, his tone laced with faint irritation. “you’re here to help, not adopt a cat.”

“who says i can’t do both?” gojo replies, turning to you with an easy smile. “satoru gojo,” he says, holding the carrier with one hand as he offers the other to you. “pleasure to meet you.”

you hesitate for a moment before shaking his hand, your grip tentative. “uh... thanks,” you manage, your voice soft.

toji falls into step beside you, his presence a steadying weight as gojo leads you toward the house. the air feels heavier as you step inside, your eyes immediately drawn to the two figures waiting in the living room.

the first is a tall woman with blonde hair tied into a loose ponytail, her arms crossed as she leans casually against the back of a worn-out couch. her gaze shifts to choso as he enters behind you, and a slow, easy smile spreads across her face.

“took you long enough,” she says, her tone teasing.

“had to pick up stragglers,” choso replies, his voice softer now as he steps forward and kisses her, his hand resting lightly on her waist. she leans into him with an ease that makes you feel like you’re intruding on something private.

you shift on your feet awkwardly, but before you can decide where to look, the woman turns her attention to you, her smile softening. “you must be exhausted,” she says gently, her tone warm and disarming. she steps forward, her hand resting lightly on your arm. “yuki tsukumo,” she introduces herself. “don’t let the boys intimidate you. they mean well. mostly.”

her kindness catches you off guard, and you manage a small, hesitant smile. “thank you,” you murmur.

toji’s voice cuts through the moment, his tone gruff. “don’t let her fool you,” he says, motioning toward yuki with a slight tilt of his head. “she’s dangerous.”

“only to people who deserve it,” yuki replies, her grin returning, her tone light but edged with a quiet confidence that makes you believe her.

beside her stands another figure, a man with long black hair pulled back into a neat bun. his features are sharp but composed, his expression calm as he steps forward, offering you a polite smile.

“suguru geto,” toji says, motioning toward him. “don’t let the nice guy act fool you.”

“ignore him,” suguru says, his tone carrying the faintest trace of humor. “he likes to pretend he’s the only one you can trust.” his eyes soften as they meet yours. “it’s nice to meet you. i know this must all feel... overwhelming.”

you nod wordlessly, still clutching ninja’s toy in your hand, your mind struggling to process everything. suguru’s voice is calm, measured, and there’s something about the way he speaks that makes you feel just a little more grounded.

meanwhile, gojo sets ninja’s carrier down, popping the door open to let the cat stretch out onto the floor. ninja lets out a soft meow before trotting over to inspect the room, his tail high and proud.

“so,” gojo says, straightening up and clapping his hands together. “what’s the plan? because i’m assuming you didn’t bring her here just for the company.”

toji sighs, running a hand through his hair as he looks at you. “the plan,” he says slowly, “is to keep her alive.”

────

“come on,” yuki says, her tone gentle as she motions for you to follow her. “i’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

yuki leads you down a narrow hallway, the wooden floorboards creaking faintly underfoot. the house is surprisingly clean and cozy inside—nothing like its rugged exterior. the walls are painted a warm beige, and small touches, like neatly arranged bookshelves give the space an unexpected charm.

yuki stops in front of a door, pushing it open to reveal a small, simple room. “here you go,” she says, stepping aside to let you in.

the room is bland but functional. a bed sits in the center, flanked by two plain side tables. there’s a narrow windowsill with a view of the surrounding trees, and the soft yellow glow of a table lamp casts a warm light over the otherwise bare space. it’s not much, but something about it feels oddly grounding—like a blank slate.

you set ninja’s carrier down and open the door. he stretches his little body out, his back arching and his paws spreading wide, before he begins mapping the space with his usual confidence, tail flicking as he investigates every corner.

“he’s cute,” yuki says with a soft smile, leaning against the doorframe. “you okay?”

the question hangs heavy in the air. she knows the answer before you say anything—it’s written all over your face. still, you appreciate the softness in her tone, the way she gives you space to process everything.

“it gets better,” she says quietly, her smile small but reassuring. “i promise. we’ll keep you safe.”

her words settle over you like a blanket—not enough to erase the weight in your chest, but enough to remind you that you’re not alone. she straightens, stepping back into the hallway. “take your time settling in,” she adds. “oh, and just a heads-up—there are only two bathrooms, and neither of them lock. so if you’re using one, just stick a towel under the door. it’s an unspoken rule for when we stay here.”

“got it,” you reply, managing a faint smile.

she nods once before disappearing down the hall, leaving you alone with ninja, who’s now perched on the bed, lazily cleaning his paw. you glance around the room again, sighing as you take it in. it’s bare, unremarkable—but maybe, just maybe, you could see yourself living here.

you grab a pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt from your bag and step out of the room. the hallway is quiet as you make your way to the bathroom, pushing the door open. it’s clean, the tiles worn but scrubbed spotless, and the mirror above the sink reflects the exhaustion etched into your face.

remembering yuki’s advice, you grab a towel from the rack and slide it under the door, pressing it into place with your foot.

the warm water feels like a balm against your skin, washing away the grime and tension of the day. for a brief moment, you let yourself relax, closing your eyes and letting the steam envelop you. but then the weight of everything crashes back down—the truth about your parents, the sudden upheaval of your life, the danger still lurking somewhere outside the walls of this house.

after a while, you turn off the water, wiping your face with trembling hands before stepping out. you change quickly, pulling on the sweatpants and shirt, the soft fabric a small comfort against your damp skin. you gather your things, pulling the towel from beneath the door as you prepare to head back to your room.

“shit!” you yelp, your heart leaping into your throat as you clutch your chest. “what the hell—”

“sorry,” he murmurs, holding up a hand. “didn’t mean to scare you.”

you stare at him, your pulse still racing as you take in his expression. his voice is quieter than usual, the sharpness dulled, and there’s something in his gaze—concern, maybe, or something close to it.

toji watches you for a moment, his eyes scanning your face as if searching for something. “you okay?” he asks, his voice low but steady.

you hesitate, your hands tightening around the clothes you’re holding. “yeah,” you murmur, though the word feels hollow. “i’m fine.”

his brow furrows slightly, but he doesn’t press. instead, he gestures down the hallway. “come on. let’s talk,” he says, stepping aside and waiting for you to follow.

you trail after him, the quiet creak of the floorboards the only sound between you as he walks you back to your room. ninja is curled up on the bed when you enter, his tail twitching lazily as he stretches out, completely undisturbed by the tension hanging in the air. toji closes the door behind him, leaning against it as you sit on the edge of the bed, clutching the fabric of your sweatpants for something to ground you.

“i owe you an explanation,” toji begins, crossing his arms over his chest. his voice is even, but there’s a weight to it, like he’s been carrying this for a while. “about what’s going on. and about me.”

you nod silently, your gaze locked on him as you wait for him to continue.

“my crew, we’re... mercenaries, more or less. we take jobs—tracking people, running interference, whatever the client needs. and our clients? not the kind of people you’d ever want to meet.”

you stay quiet, your heart beating faster as you wait for him to continue.

“there are two big players we work for—naoya zen’in and ryomen sukuna,” he explains, his tone matter-of-fact. “naoya’s got power, connections, influence. he thinks that makes him untouchable. sukuna? he’s just pure strength. nobody crosses him and lives to tell about it.”

you can’t help the question that slips out. “so... who do you work for?”

“both,” toji replies with a slight shrug, as if it’s no big deal. “it’s a balancing act. naoya’s got more reach, but sukuna’s stronger. we take jobs from both of them, depending on what’s on the table.”

“and me?” you ask, your voice trembling slightly. “how do i fit into this?”

toji’s jaw tightens, and he looks away for a moment, as if weighing his words. “naoya gave me your file,” he says finally. “he wanted you followed. didn’t say why—just that he’d pay well.”

your chest tightens, the reality of his admission hitting you like a blow. “that's why you were... stalking me,” you say, trying to keep up.

“yeah,” toji replies bluntly, his tone unwavering. “but here’s the thing—i told sukuna about the job. figured he’d want to know what naoya was up to.”

“and what did he say?” you ask, your pulse quickening, the pieces of this twisted puzzle refusing to fall into place.

“he told me to keep it up,” toji says, his voice quieter now. “but not for naoya’s sake. for yours.”

you blink, confusion clouding your thoughts. “for me? why would he care about me?”

toji exhales, dragging a hand through his hair, his frustration evident in the way his shoulders tense. “that’s the part i don’t know,” he admits, his gaze flicking back to you. “but sukuna doesn’t do things without a reason. if he wanted me to keep you safe, there’s a reason for it. so that’s what i did.”

your hands grip the edge of the bed, your thoughts racing. “and naoya?” you ask, barely above a whisper. “what does he want with me?”

“we’re not sure about that yet,” toji admits, his voice quieter now, almost reluctant. “we’re trying to figure it out. but whatever it is...” he pauses, stepping closer. “you’re safe,” he whispers, the words carrying a weight you didn’t realize you needed to hear.

his eyes soften as he crouches in front of you, his movements careful. when he notices the tears slipping down your cheeks, he reaches out, his thumb brushing gently against your skin to wipe a stray tear. “i won’t let anything happen to you,” he vows softly.

ninja pads over, his little paws silent against the bed as he hops up, settling into your lap. his warm weight presses against you, his soft purring vibrating through your legs, as if he can sense your spiraling emotions and wants to anchor you in his own quiet way. you stroke his fur absently, your fingers trembling slightly as you try to process everything.

toji watches you for a moment, his expression unreadable. then he tips your chin up with a finger, his touch firm but gentle, forcing you to meet his gaze. “i mean it,” he says, his voice low, insistent. “i won’t let anything happen to you.”

his words settle over you, and for the first time in what feels like hours, your breathing evens out. the faintest flicker of something close to relief creeps in, though the fear and uncertainty linger.

before you can respond, toji leans in, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. the gesture is brief, almost hesitant, but it sends a warmth through your chest that you can’t explain.

“get some rest,” he murmurs, pulling back slightly. “we’ll talk more tomorrow.”

you nod silently, your grip on ninja tightening as the door clicks softly behind him. the weight of the day still presses on you, lingering like an invisible force bearing down on your chest. you slump back on the bed with a heavy sigh, your head sinking into the pillow as the tension slowly drains from your body.

ninja curls up beside you, his small body warm and steady against your side, his soft purring filling the quiet room. you stroke his fur absentmindedly, your thoughts a tangled mess of confusion, fear, and exhaustion.

the room feels both too small and too vast, the events of the day replaying in your mind like a loop you can’t shut off. the truth about your parents, the danger lurking just outside this house, and toji’s quiet promise—it all feels too big, too overwhelming to process.

but then you think of his words, the way his voice softened, the steady conviction in his gaze as he said, i won’t let anything happen to you. and for a moment—just a moment—you allow yourself to believe him.

ninja shifts slightly, nudging his head against your hand, and you sigh, closing your eyes.

────

it’s been two weeks since your world turned upside down. two weeks of secrets, half-truths, and trying to convince yourself you’re safe in a house full of strangers who know more about your life than you do.

you’d emailed your boss a vague explanation—an “unforeseen emergency” that would keep you away for an indefinite period. they’d been understanding enough, though your phone buzzed with missed calls from coworkers curious about what happened. but it wasn’t until your best friend’s name lit up your screen that you faltered.

you’re curled up in the corner of the couch, staring at your phone as it buzzes with your best friend’s name flashing across the screen. you hesitate, your thumb hovering over the answer button. toji is seated nearby, leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed as he watches you with that unreadable expression.

“you need to keep where you are to yourself,” he says, his voice calm but firm. “don’t tell anyone anything.”

you exhale softly, nodding as you press the green button and lift the phone to your ear. “hey.”

“oh my god, finally!” your friend’s voice bursts through the line, light and frantic all at once. “do you know how worried i’ve been? you just dropped off the face of the earth!”

you glance at toji, his gaze unwavering, a silent reminder. “i’m fine,” you say, forcing your voice to stay steady. “i’ve just been... out of town. for work.”

“work? since when do you travel for work? where are you?” she asks, her tone sharp with concern.

“it’s nothing exciting,” you reply quickly, your words tumbling over each other as you try to sound nonchalant. “just some last-minute project they needed me on. i’ll be busy for a while—probably won’t have much time to talk.”

there’s a pause, the silence on the other end stretching long enough to make your stomach twist. “are you sure you’re okay?” she finally asks, her voice softer now. “you sound... off.”

you glance at toji again, his eyes narrowing slightly as he tilts his head. “i’m okay,” you lie, your fingers curling into the hem of your shirt. “just stressed, you know? new place, new schedule. it’s a lot to adjust to.”

she sighs, the sound laced with doubt. “okay, fine. but promise me you’ll call if you need anything. i don’t care how busy you are.”

“i promise,” you say, the guilt clawing at your chest. “i’ll call when i can.”

when the call ends, you set your phone down on the table, staring at it as if it might ring again. toji doesn’t say anything at first, his expression unreadable as he pushes off the counter and approaches you.

“that wasn’t easy, was it?” he murmurs, his tone softer now, almost like he’s trying to offer reassurance.

you shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. “no,” you admit quietly. “it wasn’t.”

toji sighs, running a hand through his hair before sitting down across from you. “i know it feels wrong. but you did the right thing,” he says, his voice steady, firm. “keeping her out of this? it’s for her safety too.”

you nod, though the words do little to ease the ache in your chest. you pick up your phone again, staring at the lock screen like it holds the answers to questions you can’t even form.

“you’re not alone, you know,” toji adds, his voice breaking the silence. “even if it feels that way.”

you glance at him, his gaze meeting yours for just a moment before he stands, walking back to the kitchen. his words linger long after he’s gone, a small comfort against the growing weight of isolation.

────

you stood in front of the mirror in your room, adjusting the borrowed crop top yuki had tossed your way earlier in the week. it fit snugly, the hem brushing just above your waistline. the sweatpants hung loosely on your hips, comfortable but far from modest. you felt... exposed.

maybe it was the heat building in your chest—the restless energy that had been simmering all day—or maybe it was the way you’d caught yourself stealing glances at toji earlier during dinner, your thoughts wandering to the sharp cut of his jaw, the way his muscles flexed when he moved.

you shook the thoughts away, grabbing a water bottle and heading downstairs to the makeshift gym in the basement.

toji was already there, his back to you as he adjusted the straps on a punching bag. his black tank clung to his broad shoulders, the curve of his biceps catching your attention before you tore your gaze away.

he turned, his expression neutral before a faint smirk curved his lips. “you’re early,” he said, his voice low.

“let’s just get this over with,” you muttered, stepping onto the mat and stretching your arms, pretending not to notice the way his eyes lingered.

the session started like any other—jabs, kicks, counter-movements—but tonight, there was an edge to your strikes, a force that wasn’t usually there. toji caught on quickly, his movements fluid as he blocked each attempt, his brow furrowing slightly.

“you’re tense,” he said, stepping back and holding up a hand to pause.

“i’m fine,” you huffed, brushing a strand of hair from your face and resetting your stance.

“no, you’re not,” he countered, his voice steady but probing. “what’s going on?”

you didn’t answer, instead lunging forward with a punch he caught easily, his grip firm around your wrist. he twisted, flipping you onto your back with a controlled motion that left you breathless.

you gasped as your back hit the mat, your pulse quickening as he pinned you down. one hand pressed your wrist to the floor above your head, while the other braced against your hip, holding you in place.

“talk to me,” he said, his voice softer now, almost coaxing. “what’s wrong?”

you opened your mouth to respond, but the words caught in your throat. all you could focus on was the heat radiating from his body, the way his hips pressed against yours, the weight of him holding you down.

“nothing,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

toji’s gaze searched yours, his green eyes darkening as they flicked down to your parted lips, then back up. “you sure about that?” he murmured, his grip on your wrist loosening slightly, but not enough to let you go.

your breath hitched, your heart pounding in your chest as the tension between you crackled like a live wire. you felt his thumb brush against your hip, the movement so slight you almost thought you imagined it.

“toji...” you breathed, your voice barely audible, your body instinctively arching just slightly beneath him.

he didn’t move, didn’t break eye contact, his jaw tightening as he seemed to wrestle with himself. “you’re not focused,” he said finally, though his tone lacked its usual bite. “what’s got you so distracted?”

“you,” the word slipped out before you could stop it, the confession hanging in the charged air between you.

toji stilled, his expression unreadable as the tension in the room reached its breaking point.

his grip on your wrist tightened, but his other hand moved, brushing against your waist, fingers pressing into the soft fabric of your sweatpants. his thumb tracing an absentminded circle that sent sparks shooting up your spine.

“me?” he murmured, his voice low, like he wasn’t entirely sure he’d heard you right.

you nodded, the motion barely perceptible, your lips parting as you tried to catch your breath.

he huffed out a low laugh, the corner of his mouth twitching as if supressing a mirk. “you’ve been all worked up over me, huh?”

you squirmed under his gaze, the heat rising to your cheeks making it impossible to deny. “just—don’t make this a big deal,” you muttered, turning your head away.

but toji wasn’t about to let you off that easy. his hand slid down, resting lightly on your hip, his touch warm and deliberate. “you sure about this?” he murmured, his voice quieter now, the teasing edge replaced with something softer, more serious. “i’m not doing anything unless you want it.”

your breath hitched, your body betraying you as your hips shifted under his touch. “i want it,” you whispered, your voice shaky but firm.

his smirk returned, slow and deliberate. “good.”

toji’s hand moved lower, brushing over the waistband of your sweatpants. “these,” he muttered, his tone dipping into something almost amused as his fingers hooked under the elastic, “are covering way too much of you.”

your breath hitched, the rasp in his voice sending a shiver through you. “they’re just sweatpants,” you murmured, trying to keep your voice steady, but the way his fingers toyed with the fabric had you faltering.

“just sweatpants,” toji muttered again, shaking his head as his fingers hooked under the waistband. “covering so much of you…” his smirk widened, dark and teasing. “nah, princess. these things have been pissing me off all night. hiding all this from me.”

he tugged them down slowly, deliberately, letting the fabric drag against your skin in a way that made your breath hitch. his dark eyes followed every inch he revealed, his gaze growing hungrier as the sweatpants pooled at your ankles. “knew it’d be worth the wait,” he muttered, his voice low, rough.

you squirmed under the intensity of his stare, the cool air raising goosebumps on your skin. toji’s hands returned to your hips, warm and firm, his thumbs brushing over the soft skin of your inner thighs.

“you’re so damn shy all of a sudden,” he teased, his voice dipping into that low rasp that made heat pool in your stomach. “you’ve been fighting me all night, and now you’ve got nothing to say?”

“toji,” you breathed, your voice barely steady, your hands gripping the mat beneath you as his hands trailed higher.

“what?” he murmured, his tone dripping with mock innocence. “just trying to help, princess. you said you needed this, didn’t you?”

before you could answer, he leaned in, his lips brushing against your jaw, his breath hot against your skin. “then let me make you feel good,” he whispered, his voice low, deliberate, his words sending a shiver down your spine.

his fingers slid lower, hooking beneath the edge of your panties. he paused, just for a moment, his gaze meeting yours, giving you the chance to stop him. when you didn’t, he smirked, tugging them down with the same maddening slowness, exposing you completely. his eyes darkened as he tossed the fabric aside, and the air between you seemed to grow heavier.

“fuck,” he muttered, his hands gliding over your thighs, parting them as he settled between them. “look at you.” his voice was low, rough, filled with something that made your pulse race.

he didn’t hesitate, his fingers brushing over your folds, gathering the slick there as he let out a low, appreciative groan. “so wet already,” he murmured, his voice thick with satisfaction. “you’ve been holding out on me, haven’t you?”

your cheeks burned, and you turned your head, trying to hide the heat rising to your face. but toji wasn’t having it. his free hand caught your chin, tilting your face back toward him, his grip firm but gentle.

“nah, princess,” he said, his voice quiet but commanding. “i want to see that pretty face when you come.”

his fingers moved again, teasing over your clit in slow, deliberate circles. the light, teasing touch sent sparks shooting through you, your hips shifting involuntarily beneath him. “toji,” you whimpered, your voice trembling as you tried to stay grounded.

“yeah?” he muttered, his lips curling into a smirk as he watched you squirm under his touch. “what do you need, princess? tell me.”

“don’t stop,” you breathed, your voice catching as his movements grew firmer, more insistent.

“wasn’t planning on it,” he murmured, lowering his head. his tongue flicked out, tracing a slow, deliberate circle over your clit, sending a jolt of pleasure straight through you. your back arched off the mat, a soft cry spilling from your lips as he settled into a rhythm, his tongue and fingers working in perfect tandem.

he groaned softly against you, the sound vibrating through your core as he slid a finger inside, the stretch making your breath hitch. “fuck,” he muttered, his voice muffled against your skin. “so tight, princess. you’ve been needing this for a while, haven’t you?”

you couldn’t respond, your voice caught in your throat as he added another finger, curling them just right, hitting that spot that made your vision blur. his pace was unrelenting, his fingers moving in steady, deliberate thrusts while his tongue worked your clit with maddening precision.

“toji—” you gasped, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as your thighs trembled against his shoulders.

he hummed against you, his tongue pressing flat against your clit before flicking up again. “that’s it,” he murmured, his voice dark and rough. “let go for me. i want to feel it.”

his words sent you spiraling, your body arching as the tension in your core snapped, waves of pleasure crashing over you. you cried out, your voice breaking as your fingers tightened in his hair, holding him against you as you rode out the high.

toji didn’t let up, his tongue and fingers moving slowly now, coaxing every last aftershock from your trembling body. when he finally pulled back, his lips were swollen, his chin glistening as he looked up at you, his expression smug and satisfied.

“sweet as hell,” he muttered, his voice rough as he brought his fingers to his lips, licking them clean with deliberate slowness. his dark eyes stayed locked on yours, the heat in them making your cheeks burn.

toji finally eased back, his lips glistening and swollen, his smirk impossibly smug as he looked down at you. your chest was still rising and falling with the aftermath of your release, your limbs heavy, your thoughts a jumbled mess.

“feel better now?” he asked, his voice low, teasing.

you nodded weakly, your voice too shaky to respond. his smirk widened, and he pressed a lingering kiss to your temple before pulling back, his hand resting lightly on your thigh.

he reached to the side, grabbing a few tissues from the small box nearby. “hold still,” he murmured, his voice softer now as he gently wiped you clean, his touch uncharacteristically tender. the contrast to his earlier intensity made your cheeks flush all over again.

he reached for your sweatpants. his hands slid them back up your legs with care. his thumbs smoothed over your hips as he adjusted the waistband, his gaze flickering up to meet yours.

“there,” he said, his voice low and almost fond. “back to being all covered up.”

but then his hand slipped to the side, grabbing your discarded underwear from the mat. he balled the fabric up in his hand, slipping it into his pocket without hesitation.

“toji,” you said, sitting up slightly, your voice a mix of disbelief and exasperation. “my underwear?”

he grinned, leaning down to press a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth before standing. “i’ll give it back… maybe,” he said, his smirk widening as he glanced back over his shoulder.

“you’re insufferable,” you muttered, glaring at him, but the heat in your cheeks betrayed the way your heart raced at his audacity.

“you like it,” he called over his shoulder, already halfway out the door. “next training session, sweet girl. don’t be late.”

an. peep the nickname change after he got a taste of that thing.. mhm. what a good man.

DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS!

#✎ luna.writes #toji smut #toji #toji x reader #toji x you #jjk smut #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk #fushiguro toji x reader #jjk x you #toji fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #anime smut

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rosedere · 7 months ago

Text

The Pearl Brooch

(Yan Sea god! Azul Ashengrotto x Afab sacrifice reader)

Cw: Yandere, (actually this story is pretty tame tbh)

“Do you think your roommate is going to get the pearl brooch this year?”

You stopped suddenly behind the girl you were walking besides on the walking trail, the only trail, that led towards the end of the craggy coastline that protected your village. You didn't really know this girl, only that they’d occasionally talk to you once in a while in passing from school, and in cases like this, just randomly running into them on your walking trail.

However, it didn't mean you liked running into them.

”Probably,” you scoffed, kicking a stray rock on the path.

”She does have all the qualities the Great Sea witch wants in his Pearl brides,” you shrugged.

The girl ran a few fingers in her teal strands, combing the black streak, attempting to put her hair in a half-ponytail, half-down hairstyle.

”I would argue she doesn't,” she hummed.

You looked over at her to read her expression; she was merely looking up at the bright, sunny sky above the two of you, enjoying the clear weather that had been a welcomed surprise after the tsunamis that plagued your small village around this time of the summer.

”Okay, I'll bite; you wanna tell me who you think is going to get it this year?” You scrunched your face in annoyance.

”Not her, that's for sure,” your strange friend quickly responded.

”Come on, tell me! Let’s make a wager. I need some money and entertainment since I’ve aged out of the brooch ceremony.” You held your hands in a fist of determination, stopping in front of your strange, tall acquaintance.

She finally stopped walking beside you, smiling towards you with a glint of sincerity. Pausing in your movements, you made eye contact with her mismatched eyes.

”Im afraid to say so in case you let it get to your head,” she shrugged, “and this year is supposed to be a special year anyhow, why ruin the surprise, especially since my accuracy on who the next bride is never off”.

Confused more than ever, you furrowed your brow.

”So you're saying Alaina isn't the pearl bride this year?” You scratched your head.

”That's a very bold claim to make,” you thoughtfully added.

Your friend only nodded, still walking close to you.

“Is it maybe one of the girls from the inner village—I heard our village leader's daughter has great potential to be a pearl bride”

only silence from your teal-haired friend as she kept smiling to herself, it almost annoyed you, seeming like she wasn't listening to a word you said.

”Okay, what if it's the fisherman’s daughter! She’s got the prettiest eyes; they remind me of a babydoll!” You confidently said.

Your friend only kept walking straight, most likely ignoring your guesses.

Getting annoyed at this point, whoever it might be, you decided to have a little fun with your answer.

”Oh well, guess Im going to be the pearl brooch holder then,” you laughed to yourself, “I do love the ocean, so I doubt he'd need to summon me to the ceremony,” you continued teasing.

But instead of a uncomfortable grimace youd normally recieve when you'd talk about yourself her small smile stayed firm before she eventually stopped walking, only looking down at the rocky and gravel path ahead of the two of you.

”Oops, sorry if my answer offended you." You apologized, “Im sure you are probably pretty enough to be given—“

”(Name)”

You looked to your side in confusion, only seeing her with a coy smile on her lips her eyes never meeting you once.

”Just be looking out,” she mumbled.

The sea witch is always watching.

The next morning, you awoke not expecting much; it was a weekend, meaning you were free to go back down to the misty ocean below past the forest and down the slope where you lived.

Recoiling and grabbing your foot to make sure it wasn't bleeding was when you looked down to find the source of the cut now stinging harshly on the bottom of your foot.

Only as you unceremoniously stepped out the door to your small home beginning your benign routine instead was followed a sharp cut straight through your bare foot.

For a moment you were numb until the sharp end of whatever was beneath your foot fell off.

You assumed at first it was one of the shells you had left a few days ago on your doorstep, only to discover that you had forgotten it when you went back inside the other day just now.

But when you picked it up to give the intricate bundle of shells a closer look, you realized it couldn't have been any shell you'd found—the way the shells were fused together created a small ornamental piece that was most likely not formed naturally.

The shells being also too massive for you to have found on the shoreline reminded you of shells you'd heard were at the bottom of the ocean near the reefs; again unnatural for your receeding shoal you picked from.

Turning it around to look at the back made a soft jingling from where the porous shells were tied using some kind of plant you had never seen near by.

Just like the rumored brooch would.

Turning the shells once more your eyes widen when you saw the small, intricate deep sea pearls tied around the shells at the bottom, creating an iridescent shine that inflected any light the sun rays hit.

Quickly dropping the brooch on the doorstep you looked around, You knew no one would have seen what had occurred considering how far you lived off the grid, the fear of accidentally being seen and being jailed for touching the mythical brooch was not in your plans today.

Staring in awe at the brooch for a while after settling down, the realization that no one had ever seen it before unless you were the recipient reminded you of how special the small palm sized relic was.

Your heart was wildly beating before now with fear was beginning to calm down.

Limping on your way, you looked at the entrance besides the side of your connected house's own small enterance way. They were very close to each other, two footsteps away from each other at the very least you deduced.

Maybe the pelican got confused and delivered it to your entrance, thinking your house was your roommate's...

That's it; the pelican delivered the brooch to the wrong door you sighed to yourself.

It wouldn't be a crime to deliver it to its rightful owner now.

Bending over, you scooped the brooch up carefully, holding it in your cupped hands. Hobbling down the rocky sediment around your yard to avoid being seen, you made it to the other entrance where your roommate lived, the lively garden she had blooming to life as you passed by the different vegetation she had nearby.

Dropping it as carefully as you could on the stone entryway, you left it in the middle of her doorstep.

Without hesitation or another word, you left, going back on your journey to the sea below to collect shells.

It was around the early evening when you went back home to make dinner that you saw the crowds around your house.

your roommate in the middle of the immense crowd, all in a daze over the brooch on her wrist as she showed all of the gawking women and children around her.

”I knew she’d be the last bride of the sea witch.”

”The sea witch must really love her if he added that many pearls to it.”

”Of course he’d pick a young maiden, it means we’ll have a fertile crop season this year.”

You felt your heart sink a little. Despite not having any interest in being a bride, it still hurt to know you weren't as beautiful to be picked to be the last Pearl bride of the great sea witch.

Instead of retiring for the day, you went back out to the slope with your dinner in the hopes you could find some rare shells to sell in town for the ceremony.

Despite your dull heartache, you gave congratulations to your roommate before you went inside to make your dinner.

Which like most things that would bother you, your doubts and self loathing disappeared as you made your meal for the evening of crisp fish and potatoes and vegetable bake.

Little did you notice the mismatched eyes blending in with the throngs of people; watching, as you trekked on the trail you always took away to the coastline.

Nevertheless, you went through the various obstacles including masses of rock and trees, a few different sandbanks that were revealed by the low tide. Reaching the base of the tall rocky shelves and doing some careful hiking down, you went about your usual walk: starting from the cliffs all the way down the peninsula in search of shells that would fetch a high price.

Letting your toes be soaked in the crystal blue water, you let the sea foam gather around as you sifted through the sand in search of anything new.

You walked over the squishy sand in pursuit of whatever was in the water, hoping it wouldn't move once it sensed you.

It was only when the golden hour began was then that you noticed that beyond the receding water was something further out in the rocky seabed besides you.

At first, you could only see the darkness like a shadow in the water; small specks of luminescence filled the spot that was catching your attention.

As you approached the dark spot, it slowly began to rise from the water, eyes of a clear glacier looked back at you in the water.

After a few footsteps too close, slited eyes focused on you, almost as if it were trying to recognize you.

The shadow in the water began to grow, making the everclear water seem inky with blooms of obsidans.

You backed up.

It only crept closer to you.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, you ran carefully, dodging the rocky sands in the water and making it to shore.

Not daring to turn back, you climbed a lone stone wall to get to the top of the cliff.

When it felt like you were safe from whatever that thing was in the water, you turned back to the sandbar. It wasn't as if you could see that far if the creature was still in the rocky shoals. A few hyperventilated breaths, you made the agonizing walk back through the now crowded forest leading to your safe haven.

As the day approached for the pearl bride to be received at the festival the village threw, You were reminded of the ceremony every time you stepped out.

Either finding shipwrecked treasure or different pearls and sea glass where you had previously found the pearl brooch from a few weeks ago.

Repeating the process with a dull heartache, you would grab them and return them to your roommate's doorstep before going out to fulfill your quota for the week.

After all, you were hoping the masses attending the festival would bring new revenue to you since almost everyone from the island and a few from beyond would come just to see the Venus be given away.

You were about to walk out early in the morning to avoid the throngs of people at your roommate's door praying to just miss the whole occasion until she called out amongst the crowd for you to be one of the few that would escort her to the ceremonial grounds.

And finally today was the day you will be reminded of the event when you watch the townspeople take her away, decorated in frills and lace with adorning pearls, looking like a Venus in a shell.

The sudden attention from several men and women made you agree, as you took a spot behind her besides a few of the other people holding her dress and veil.

Quietly following behind the crowd as they sang praises and songs in case the Benevolent Sea Witch could hear them as they got their bride ready.

For living in the town your whole life, though youd never witnessed one of these ceremonies, only ever being occupied looking at the different vendors and stalls of food that would come from all over the island to celebrate the Sea Witch.

As you all approached the harbor, walking down the steep and uneven cliffside you had both lived on for several years unbothered, you could begin to see the many people line the streets eagerly waiting to see a glimpse of the Venus bride, She walked with a slow gait, letting the dress pool around her slim figure, shining like fish scales with every step she took on the sandstone road leading to the harbor's mouth.

You felt bad not being able to see the importance of this festival as the people around you did, but most of your thoughts were revolving around how fast you could make it back home with the few shells you had collected for the week to try to peddle off after the bride would be received.

Suddenly, you felt yourself go off balance. Looking around your surroundings, everyone around you also followed your lead.

The ground was shaking.

The witch was arising from the depths.

Everyone began to enthusiastically pick up the pace, holding the bride's clothes to make sure she wouldn't get dirty from the kicked up dust before meeting her betrothed.

Approaching the harbor's mouth, you could see even more people gathered there around the harbor ropes, eager to get a glimpse of the water and the bride.

Looking in the crowd, you saw your friend, her mismatched eyes accidentally meeting yours.

Your breath hitched when you saw beside her—well, what seemed to be her, the same teal hair and the same dark black stripe in her hair, They both looked at you in silent interest as you and the precession walked past her.

Deciding it wasn't worth it to think too much about it, you began to focus on the seascape before you. The aftershocks meant the sea witch was finally arising from the depths.

“She’s ready,” a villager from the front said.

You all, in unison, let go of her clothing, stopping a few meters away from the decorated area where the ceremony would take place. You could see a little bit past the throngs of people, her walk a slow and elegant gait; a befitting walk for a Sea queen, towards the ceremonial ground as you all stood in awe, watching for her to take her place.

Looking up at the sky, you noticed the clear and sunny sky seemed to waver a bit—not exactly cloudy and stormy, but the sky was turning a light shade grey maming the sky seem muted.

A rumble shook you once again, causing you to fight to stay upright as a mass of darkness began to form in the crystal waters ahead of you.

“He’s here!”

“The Benevolent Sea Witch”

A few people began to run to the waterfront and stop to bow in respect.

You stayed with a few other spectators, watching the bride eagerly fix her hair in anticipation.

The first thing you saw was that the dark, meaty tentacle rose from the water.

Then it was followed by six more monstrous-sized tentacles.

It was when he rose that you felt yourself gasp.

But the sea witch did not say a word, only scanning the crowd before resting his eye on the ceremonial grounds in front of him.

The monstrous entity looked around the crowds of people praising him.

Half man; Half mer.

His Striking otherwordly blue hues focused below him at his subjects.

A noise was made that sounded like gargling or clicking—you weren't entirely sure—before he crawled closer to the harbor, opening ever so slowly.

Your eye was caught by the huge nauctulus shell around his neck, which was shining gold.

It reminded you of the few shells you found littered around your doorstep.

His many tentacles eventually came into clearer view as he began to lift the two that you presumed acted as his second pair of arms began to slither on the sandstone towards the shell.

“your highness”

The tentacles stopped slithering.

“Im afraid your people have tried to deceive you,my lord.”

You felt someone grab both of your arms from behind.

Wildly trying to flail out of the grasp, you soon felt them tugging you towards the monstrous being looking down straight at you.

Or who was behind you.

Your weird friend was walking before the monstrous being, who was staring with icy-slit hues.

“Your endless sea is right here.”

You flinched as they threw you down on the ground, only a few meters in front of the huge tentacles.

Too scared to look up, you only looked besides you to see your friend and her double beside and behind you. Your roommate confused as she stood with the veil and brooch on her intricate dress looking at your cornered self.

A loud rumble resounded above you; the sky was not a dark and angry one; rain seemed imminent.

“You dare lie to me.”

A powerful timbre spoke from what seemed to be everywhere.

A tentacle began to rise and violently swipe at the harbor ropes where everyone was gathered, many people being violently tossed in either direction, some hitting into buildings while a mass of unlucky ones were thrown into the deep frigid harbor below.

“She had the brooch of our almighty.”

“The gifts were laid on their doorstep.”

“Please have mercy on our mistake.”

You were still trying to absorb the scene laid out for you in front of the harbor opening, but you failed to notice the large tentacle start to slither and writhe towards where you were being held against your will.

The cold, suctioned tentacle began to wrap around your waist, attaching to your skin.

It twitched around you before it grasped hard around your waist, causing you to yell.

“This is my bride,” the voice boomed once more.

You felt yourself being lifted from the ground, everyone around you shrinking into colorful dots as your familiar land became distant.

Little did you know this was the last time you’d seen the village you lived your whole life in.

Waves of torrential size rose from the now-dark and raging waters before they swallowed everything and everyone you knew.

Watching the punishment of a divine being was the worst thing to have witnessed.

And it was your last memory before you were engulfed in your beloved sea, and your life before being crowned the benevolent sea witch's wife and Queen of the depths.

Note: oh man the temptation to make this an actual fic fic haha.

also forgot but requested on Ao3 by a guest <3

#yandere twst #yandere azul ashengrotto #azul ashengrotto x yuu #reader insert #yandere x you #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere x reader #yandere azul ashengrotto x reader

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the-100-days-of-junkan · 2 months ago

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Day 60

Wow we really made it 60 days huh?

Okay so i’m not gonna yap long for this part. You saw the image, you see the read under. This is a small comic adaptation of @vanadisvalentine’s “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed” fanfic. And it adapts the end of Chapter 4 which is pretty fuckin pivotal in that story. So if you haven’t read that fic yet I’m actually begging you, please read it and don’t let this comic be your first experience.

Second warning, this is going to be a long one. How long? Who knows. I haven’t written it yet, but this Day represents one of the biggest turning points in the whole project for me.

When you click the read under you’re gonna get just the comic, and then you're gonna get hit with a gigantic fucking wall of text. I apologize in advance for the amount of rambling I’m about to do but I got a lot to say here.

Okay so you read the comic, you ready? Cause not only am I gonna yap about making that comic along with all the behind the scenes stuff, (amidst other tangents), but I’m also going to talk about the fic this is based on. This is probably going to feel a bit disorganized but i’ll try my best to keep this legible. Apologies in advance.

So your first thought is probably “Jem why the fuck did you do that?” and you’re correct for thinking that way. Rest assured, you’re going to ask that question again later but significantly louder and more exasperated in the future.

Answer is simple though. I wanted to do something big for Number 60, cause every 10 images I wanna do something Big. For Number 50 I came out of retirement and wrote a fanfic and some art to go with it. So I wanted to go up. How do i go up? Well I am a comic artist, and making a webcomic is my general goal in life and what directs me forward. Sooo, why not a comic?

Okay but a comic of what? Well, why not a fanfic? And at the time the real answer was obvious.

There are Three Fanfics made for Junkan that are pivotal to this entire event. Without all three of them combined ya’ll would not be having Junkan art pop up in your feed every day, questioning what the hell is in my bloodstream to make me draw all this. The answer is Junkan, junkan is in my bloodstream.

I plan to talk about all three of those fics in this event, in as much detail as I can muster. That said not only are we going in reverse order, as todays fic “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed” is the last piece of the puzzle for why I went off the deep end and drew this much Junkan. But also the other two fics aren’t gonna be discussed for a long time due to their placement in the event order. I’m talking within the last ten days. Oops.

But at the time it was, pretty fucking easy to choose this one to adapt. The other two either wouldn’t really fit my style that I had been working with up to that point, or were just not made to be a comic without way more energy.

And as a reminder this was before I had actually gotten to know some of ya’ll. Within the realm of Junkan Val was the only friend I had. I did have other people who liked DR and were on board with Junkan after I showed them my supply and stated my case, but Val was the only person I knew at the time who was as brainrotted for this ship as I am, granted I think she has like, a normal amount of brainrot. I think by the end of the project I’ve fully snapped and now I can’t stop thinking about these two, like I have actually tried to stop thinking about them but they keep popping up. What was I talking about- Right! Point is, you can consider Day 60, or as I would call it in casual conversation “The 22 Page Junkan Comic,” my most excessive thankyou to her for helping me stay motivated throughout the project and playing a massive part in its inspiration.

As for making the comic.

It was a very bold mix of “I’m having the time of my life” and “Hell,” that's the shortest way I could put it. The longest way? Wellll

So by this point I wasn’t just showing these pics to Val alone. I had a few friends even before Val who I showed the art too. I’d get compliments and feedback and all that nice stuff that keeps me going.

As I’ve stated in the past (i think) one of the hardest parts of this project for me was the lack of validation for my efforts. I do not make art purely to be complimented, I make art in order to hopefully bring a smile to someones face. However I do still take a lot of joy when I see my art being positively received, it shows that my efforts were worth it. Seeing peoples reactions helps me remember why I’m doing this and that I’m doing a good job at it. So if I don’t get a lot of that, especially on something i put a lot of effort into, it can be a little demoralizing. It’s something I’ve tried to work past during this year, but at the time it was a big issue. Day 60 took around 2 weeks to finish, as I was managing other projects and commission work at the time. The whole time I barely showed anyone, Val was obvious because this was a surprise gift for her, however the rest is because I was very adamant about not spoiling the Fic it was based on, and say for a single person amidst the people I would show these pics to none of them had read the fic. So I went from showing a small handful of people these to showing one guy (admittedly one of my best friends) for the span of 2 weeks while grinding away at the comic. It wasn’t until the very tail end that my girlfriend surprised me by reading the fic, meaning I could show her as well finally.

Was it worth starving myself of a majority of positive feedback for 2 weeks when I haven’t had to do something like that for years? Oh god yes but we’re not there yet I still need to talk about the actual comic.

So when you compare the fic to the comic you’ll notice I skipped a decent portion of this scene, this is mostly just for the sake of not making this take too long, I think I picked a pretty solid starting point but also I won’t lie and say there isn’t a part of me that wishes I took like an extra week or two to adapt the whole scene sometimes. Sometimes.

Mukuro acted as the pseudo cover for the comic, both because it was a small detail noted in the scene that she was watching the door, and because I could call back to the “Mukuro Notes” bit I did on the Vampire Junkan comic, which seemed like a cute call back. I also used this as a way to skip past some of the initial dialogue of the scene in terms of adaptation. I’m really happy with how this page turned out visually, I remember having to fiddle with Mukuro’s anatomy and smaller details for awhile.

As you can probably tell, like usual the art for this was still being done as a sketch which I colored rather than what I do in my usual comic stuff, that being Sketch > Lines > Colors > Shading. I did shade a few of these pages cause I think the extra effort was warranted for some pages. I wouldn’t know this without like, actually time traveling to check but I think there was even a time this would be just uncolored sketches. Clearly that didn’t last because yeah, the chick who’s drawing 100 days worth of junkan art is going to make a 22 page comic and NOT color the whole thing, keep telling yourself that Jem.

Once again since I was directly adapting this fic like with Day 20, I tried to be semi accurate in what I assume Junko’s appearance would be, giving her the bunny and bow clips in her hair. I didn’t go all the way since honestly I think i would have gone a little crazy if I drew both characters in their actual Hope’s Peak uniforms for the whole thing, so I mostly stuck to their killing game designs with that small change to Junko. And yes, I did have to edit Junko’s hair to remove the bear clips multiple times throughout the first few pages because I kept forgetting not to draw them. For the first time having these two memorized was a hindrance.

If you’ve ever seen me draw a Question Mark with a cross instead of a dot when drawing Mikan, it’s cause of this comic. Val said it was a cute detail so I decided to stick with it when applicable.

I think I have read the segment of the story this is based on like, 30 times bare minimum. Now some of those times were just because I often reread this fic to help me relax before sleeping, but the majority are because I kept looking at this scene over and over again so I could try and get every detail of this perfect. The posing, expressions, and other visuals, while a little rough around the edges were all possible after going over every paragraph to get the vibe as close as possible.

The dialogue is word for word, punctuation for punctuation ripped from the fic itself. Mildly difficult to pull off without having to extend certain pages, but in the end I managed to pull it off.

Page 7 is one of my favorite pages from the experience. Originally the visual was supposed to be Junko in literal chains of despair with Mikan coming in with a key to unlock them, however chains are agonizing to draw. Not drawing them was a form of self care, even if I think it would have been a bit of a stronger metaphor.

Mikan’s expressions were very difficult to get just right in this, which was half the fun. Do you know how fucking satisfying it was to draw her happy crying??? Very.

Page 10 is another one I’m really happy with. I don’t know exactly what the original plan was beyond the fact that I wanted the shot of Mikan reacting to that being a lot more visually extreme for the colors and amount of space it takes up to make it as overwhelming as possible. But I went in reverse and made the initial heart stop moment of her realizing that Junko just said that more prominent than the rush of emotion hitting her right after.

There were going to be more visuals of Mikan being cute in the following page, however not only was I struggling for ideas but also my energy was fluctuating to hell and back by this point in the comic.

It took awhile to get the initial kiss to look good because by this point I was still really figuring out how the fuck to do that. I can’t remember if I mentioned it but the kiss in the Vampire Comic is one I actually edited after the fact before the post was scheduled because it looked really weird and pissed me off. Luckily this one doesn’t bother me at all. I remember being super paranoid i made the posing look too sexual, I don’t know what the fuck past me was on about but I’m not here to question I’m here to curse you all with knowledge and funfacts.

On page 15 Junko’s blush and smile are a bit more intense compared to the other panels on this page while she wipes away Mikan’s tears. This is because in future stories by Val it is confirmed a few times that Junko has dacryphilia, meaning she thinks Mikan looks really hot when she’s crying. Yes I’m really working in details from other fics into this comic, you should not be surprised this isn’t even the weirdest thing i’ve put in this whole event.

Peak comedy that I mentioned the question mark with the cross dot earlier and on Page 16 I didn’t do that, immersion broken, back to square one Past Jem!

Junko with no contacts!!! I mentioned during one of the Vampire AU days that while I don’t feature it in that AU alone I like the idea of Junko’s real eye color being red. Something I can never remember whether it’s actually canon or just strongly implied. I think this is the page I put the most amount of effort into, both to make it look well lit, and also to make sure her god damn eyes look as pretty as humanly possible. The end result may or may not be my favorite page of the whole comic? I dunno

I said Mikan’s expressions were hard to draw for this since I wanted to get them just right, she requires a lot more work on the smaller details to make everything feel right. Junko however? Oh no I was thriving by this point, her more lowkey expressions do need a bit more thought and effort, but by this point in the comic I was in my element with her.

But speaking of expressions, Page 19.

That smile on Mikan in the middle panel took 20 fuckin’ minutes because I had never drawn Mikan looking that happy and I had no fucking idea what I was doing. I did actually edit the page last night (as of the writing of this post), however it wasn’t for the expression. In the original version of the page, Junko looked really fuckin weird in the last panel, like I don’t know how I let that slide but her whole face and neck looked way off. These pages aren’t like, perfect quality but that one was just egregious. Also edited Mikan’s blush in that panel just cause I was already there.

Junko’s surprised face was very fun.

And I think if I were gonna ever redo any page in full for this comic it’d be the last one. I don’t think this one looks bad I just know that I could I could do way better nowadays even if I stuck to just coloring a sketch. Maybe sometime down the line.

And that’s the comic itself! I can’t think of any other fun facts or thoughts on the art itself at this point. Uhhhh, I guess the cover I made last minute for this post is technically a reference to a future day? What does that mean? Oh you’ll fuckin’ see.

So 2 weeks of effort with little feedback and rereading the same scene over and over again, was it worth it?

God yes it was.

When I sent Val the Google Drive folder with the comic I was jittery for hours as if I had too much coffee. I was nervous as shit over whether she would like it or not, since this was when I still was a perpetual nervous wreck with very little self respect who was viewing her as “Coolest Person Ever” rather than “That’s bestie.” I was also nervous because it was the first time I actually asked for a more detailed response rather than just letting her respond in whatever way she wanted.

But when she responded?

I have lived the past several years doing weed, I’ve recently quit (i think by the time this posts it’ll be close to 3 months since I went clean), but that’s besides the point. I’ve had mild highs, crazy highs, bad highs, good highs, sad highs, and highs where I don’t feel anything.

I severely doubt that any drug or vice on this planet will ever match the feeling of reading that response. I was shaking, I bit my knuckles until it left indents for like a full hour minimum, an adrenaline rush doesn’t even begin to describe what I was experiencing. I rode out the happiness from this moment for an entire week, I worked on comm jobs that would normally leave me feeling aggravated as hell and did so with a smile because I was just that fuckin excited over it. This probably sounds embarrassing as shit but there have been times where I go back to read that response when I just need a pick me up.

I had a fuckin epiphany at that moment. Who fuckin cares?

24 fucking years (25 starting tomorrow) I’ve lived my life as a people pleaser perfectionist with extreme paranoia problems with absolutely no self esteem and a whole wealth of other mental health issues. I would feel like dogshit if I halfassed a comm even if it was a really bad one. My whole goal in life was to make a webcomic that would make EVERYONE happy, be a positive part of their week. I was paranoid about pissing off the wrong people, starting shit, how people perceive me, about what ideas for my comic would be problematic or not. But after this? Who gives a shit?

It ain’t about making People Happy it’s about making Yourself Happy and the People you can reach happy. My goal is still to make a webcomic that people will come across, and look forward to every week as an escape to give them some positive vibes every week, but I ain’t gonna do that if I’m desperately trying to appeal to every single person on the planet while trying to stay as uncontroversial as possible. I wanna make art that makes people happy, and if I make it the way I wanna make it then it will eventually reach the people that it can make happy.

But enough of that shit, the actual big thing that happened because of my complete reassessment of my personal values and entire goal for life is that I fucking finally stopped giving a shit about whether people were gonna throw me in a woodchipper because I shipped Junkan. And it will continue to get funnier and funnier that after all the time I spent scared out of my fuckin’ mind over what people would think, that absolutely fucking nothing happened. It is day 49 at the time of writing this and STILL I have not had anyone give me grief or issues over this whole project, nothing but support and even some new friends over it. You cannot write something funnier than that.

I think if I went back in time and told myself at the beginning of the year that her fears were completely unfounded she would bleed out the eyes and pass out, and I would laugh. I’d laugh so fuckin’ hard.

So yeah, this Comic and the reaction it elicited changed my entire perspective on life and being an artist, I can’t say It’s been perfect or that I haven’t faltered on certain things, but I think to an extent I have been a lot happier as a result. Is it a little weird that this niche version of a niche ship is now directly tied to a drastic change in my mind? Is it any weirder than the fact that I transitioned into a woman because I binge read like, all of the Tokomaru I possibly could on AO3 and it made me think that wearing a skirt might be cool?

Alright so how’re ya'll holdin up? Drink some water we ain’t done. This is already getting up to 7 pages on the google doc that I prepare these posts on and now I have to like, talk about Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed properly. So bare witness to me trying to figure out how the hell to format talking about what might just be my favorite fic of all time.

But first lemme go reread the entire thing, I know the passage of time doesn’t exist in the context of these text walls but i’ll be back in like, a few hours to a day.

Okay i’m back-

I’m honestly not sure where to start here. Normally with my biggest obsessions I could probably go on lengthy rambles about why I love them so much, but this? I struggle to find a proper place to start, or even how to format this. I don’t want to just give a beat for beat plot synopsis while talking about the things I like, but also how do I talk about something this good otherwise.

So fair warning this might be completely incoherent at points, sorry??

This was not like, the third Junkan fic I ever read despite it being one of the three fics vital to me becoming the inhuman machine of pure Junkan brainrot that I’ve become today. A lot of things are blurred but if I remember right the exact timeline of events was Read a cute Junkan fic which made me think “Wait this ship can be soft and cute???” and then I read Smile by Kayleen, which is funny in hindsight because I really went to tooth rotting fluff to one of the darkest Non-Abusive Junkan fics out there (dark by my standards at least and I think my frame of reference is out of sorts). I think after that I just stopped for awhile, partially because Smile wasn’t finished at the time, partially because I still wasn’t sure how to navigate the Junkan tag to find what I was looking for in the ship.

Smile comes to a thrilling conclusion and I think to myself “maybe this author has more?” which is how I found Kayleen’s series of One-Shots for these two (along with separate three other pieces), I read through those in a day and would continue to check the tag to see if it updated, like, every day. Eventually after a couple months (possibly way longer), something came over me and I finally started seriously looking over the tag to try and find more Soft Junkan, whether there were others I read before it or not, I honestly can’t remember.

What I do remember is I came across “The Marvelous Makeover of Mikan Tsumiki” by VanadisValentine. I don’t know how I found that before the fic of today’s subject, if I had to guess I wasn’t reading the tags first on this run through. I was likely reading the name of the fic, and THEN i read the tags to see if it has what I was looking for (I wasn’t a starving animal for the ship by this point so I was a lot more picky with what I was willing to risk my time on). And this fic’s name was slightly more eye catching for me at the time I guess??

Fun fact when I first read this fic I wasn’t even sure if it actually was a shipping piece at first, not until finishing it at least. How? Poor reading comprehension is my only guess lol. Anyway, I finish that, loved it, and made my usual move of checking to see if the author had written anything else like this fic, and oh boy did she.

This finally brings us to me finally reading “Everything You’ve Ever Dreamed.” Took us fucking long enough.

It was perfect, it was everything. I fucking loved reading it the entire time. It had everything I could have wanted out of this ship without me even realizing what I wanted at the time. The weirdest part that my immediate response after wasn’t to go on an adrenaline fueled binge of the tag like I did for Tokomaru way back when I first got into Danganronpa. The most I did was read the other Junkan fics in Val’s library at the time. Otherwise I just stopped again.

It was then that I drew the first three days of this event, the original sketches. I kept them a secret between myself and a small few friends, too paranoid to let anyone find out. And things just kinda stayed like that, for awhile. And then sometime in December, of last year I decided to give that same fic another read, and something just kinda, fucking snapped?

I went up and down the Junkan Tag on AO3, reading whatever I could, I was reading stuff I wouldn’t have ever risked reading with variable amounts of success. I only skipped a small handful of fics, including one that we’ll come back to way later in the project. Everything else I was scraping even the smallest crumb of fic to read at times. After that I scoured the tumblr tags, taking in whatever soft art or headcanons that I could, I went to Fanfiction.net, a website I still barely know how to fuckin’ navigate to try and find ANYTHING. I went to Deviantart to try and find any art or fics, no results not helped by the fact that it would include results that were slightly related. And not to sound like a Youtuber with no personality who’s built their career on punching down at whoever they can because otherwise their audience would see they’re a complete shell of a human being, but it being deviantart you can imagine what I was finding more often on that search.

I even went to Wattpad, and that ones it’s own mini story that I’m saving for Tomorrow because the art for Tomorrow doesn’t have a lot of talking points on it’s own like this one does. But Wattpad had no fuckin results either.

I cannot remember the last time I had ever been this obsessed with a ship, this desperate. So, 100 Days of Junkan began, even if it wasn’t planned to be this big project. All cause of this fic turning a switch in my brain with a hammer.

Hey look we’re talking about the fic again, I told you this was gonna incoherent.

Anyway so the fic is just, perfect? To me at least? Before I had even realized why I liked the ship in the first place it did everything that I love about it at it’s core. It practically set the standard for the ship in my brain, at bare minimum within the context of a Non-Despair AU. And overtime as Val’s continued to write for these two her portrayals of the character are practically just how I view them at this point.

It’s not 1 to 1 but you can likely trace every aspect of how I portray Junko and Mikan whether through art or writing back to Val’s writing, down to even using certain pet names for the characters because of their usage in her work. I’d worry that I’m being way too much, heaping an overbearing amount of praise and respect. But also this fic unintentionally sent me careening into the direction of drawing 150+ Junkan pictures, learning various new skills and techniques as an artist, rekindled my love of writing (despite the horrors of actually having to write), making new friends both in and out of this community including some who I consider close, coping with mental health issues, and then performing this gigantic project at the tail end of the year. So I might actually be underselling this a bit in actuality. And don’t worry when I get to talking about a few other fics later in the project I’ll be doing my best to give equal praise to them as well, it’s just gonna be a bit sdlahfljasdfhas.

I’ve already said it but the fic has everything, at least of the core reasons I love this ship from the non-abusive perspective that this blog has built its foundation on.

To me I love Junkan because it’s two people that could not be anymore different from one another, who arguably should despise one another finding happiness in each other. It adds a new layer of depth to Junko to ponder how someone like her, whether in canon or in a non-despair AU like this could fall in genuine love with a total wreck like Mikan and how that would affect her character. It’s fluffy moments of Mikan getting to be genuinely happy for what might be the first time in her life while Junko showers her with affection. It’s Junko being fucking hilarious while Mikan can barely keep up with her humor and teasing because she’s so flustered. It’s Junko grappling with newfound emotions. It’s Junko and Mikan bringing out the best in each other and inciting positive change through their influence. It’s that perfect blend of hurt/comfort. And so much more beyond that, all contained in this one god damn fic. I might even be forgetting things I like about the ship too, there’s just so much that goes into this!

Obviously this is all specifically in a Non-Despair context, the Evil Girlfriends angle has a myriad of other reasons to enjoy the ship which I’ve become fond of. Especially in some of the parallels it can have with a non-Toxic Yuri angle of things. But that doesn’t really apply for today’s subject and I’m not someone who’s deeply knowledgeable or equipped to sing its praises at the moment. Maybe in the future though?

Is there anything else I can yammer on about with this fic? Uhhhh- Oh. I love how it uses the supporting cast. I think Val has a really excellent grasp on how to write Mukuro and Junko’s dynamic without dipping into the territory of DR3 where it just gets a bit uncomfortable. I think that’s better exemplified in one of her other fics rather than this story, but I still do love Mukuro’s portrayal and role in the story. This was my first time learning who Yasuke was, I hadn’t properly heard of Danganronpa Zero by this point so I was really confused as to who the hell he was. Certainly left a strong impression in the story though. I think Kaede’s sudden appearance and role in the plot progressing towards the stunning climax of Chapter 4 was really good!

I very often go back to Chapter 1, 4, and 5 whenever I need to go to relax before bed. I’ve reread this fic multiple times as a whole but an absolute fuck ton of times as separated pieces, they’re so god damn soothing on my mind.

The fact that I haven’t left giant fuckin’ comments on any chapter of that fic is quite frankly one of my deepest sins, but one of these days I’m gonna buckle down and write up on those because they deserve every ounce of praise in my scrawny lil whitegirl body.

I think I’ve said everything I can for now but even now I feel like I haven’t gotten across how much I love this fic. It genuinely is my favorite fanfiction out there both just for the quality of it’s writing and the comically massive influence it had on my life this year. If you somehow haven’t read it by now, please do, if you like the art I’ve drawn of this ship over the past 60 days I can almost 100% guarantee that you’ll like this story. And read the rest of Val’s fics too! Please!

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

#danganronpa #junkan #junko enoshima #mikan tsumiki #enomiki #junkomikan #junko x mikan #enoshima junko #tsumiki mikan #shipping

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1000plants · 23 days ago

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Holidays - Christmas

Bucky Barnes x reader (GN)

Summary: An accidental series centered around the various holidays with my beloved Bucky Barnes

Warnings- Alcohol/drinking/intoxication, swearing, Soft!Bucky (a warning bc oh god I love him he's a cutie patootie), mentions/themes of self-doubt and self deprecation.

Word count- 3.6 k (WAYYYY longer than I meant it to be, oops!)

Author's Note- Reading pt 1 is important (I recommend a reread) :)

“GN” for this part is heavily masc leaning (all my gn is written from a male perspective, but there are more tones of “male” in this chapter imo)

!!!Not proof read, if it’s shit just lmk!!!

Colored text are lyrics from different Christmas songs btw

Masterlist

Read Pt 1 HERE

✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°

Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?

You liked Christmas a lot more than Thanksgiving. Sitting on the couch of one of the many lounges in Stark towers, you had a cup of spiced apple cider in one hand and were reaching for a blanket with the other. Mid Friday afternoons were meant to be wasted on doing absolutely nothing… especially when you didn't have a single mission to prepare for.

In the lane, snow is glistening.

With a week until Christmas, Tony had made it his life's goal to make the tower wreak of the holidays. Every room had been decorated with some form of reds, greens, golds, or silvers. Some rooms got a more childish makeover, felt Santas and reindeers, with big faux snowflakes. And the kitchen was a simple winter wonderland, silvers and whites with twinkling fairy lights.

It was truly breathtaking. You’d give Tony that…

The lounge you were in right now was reminiscent of the classic holidays. A large, deep green pine tree stood tall in the corner, adorned with dark red ornaments and cranberry/popcorn garland. The electric fireplace was crackling softly as the TV played the holiday songs you queued up.

You were curled up on the couch, a fluffy blanket draped around your form as you sipped the hot cider. It was a moment of peacefulness that you rarely got to feel anymore. Though, in just a few hours you'd need to go get ready.

A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight,

Of course, no holiday would be complete without a famous Tony Stark party. This was the only one you would have to drag yourself to this season. The big SHIELD party with all the agents, Tony's staff, and more figure heads than you could count. It was going to be

Honestly, you liked the big parties. They were easy to fade into. Get a few drinks, talk to just enough people, and get lost in the vibes… So, you weren't exactly dreading it.

What you were dreading was leaving the room. Well, no, dreading wasn't the right word… Tony had hung up mistletoe on each entry way in the building, including bedrooms.

It was at the Thanksgiving party that Bucky told you he liked mistletoe, you had assumed he was flirting with you, obviously. But once you actually saw mistletoe, you felt the nerves explode in your stomach.

Did he even remember telling you that? Both of you had drunk a decent amount of alcohol. You wouldn't blame him if he had just said that to fill space, it would hurt but you wouldn't blame him.

Dreading wasn't the right word because though you skirted past the flora at inhumane speed, you had a hope lingering in your bones that he'd pop up. That Bucky would point it out and make the move…

But that wasn't his style, and you knew it. Bucky wouldn't wait for some stupid plant to dictate what he did and with whom, if he wanted to kiss you he would. He was bold, took what he wanted, confident and unapologetic. Everything that drew you towards him were the same things that confirmed your worst fears.

You swallowed another gulp of your drink, gripping the ceramic mug a little tighter. It echoed the burn in a similar way to the alcohol at the Thanksgiving party, but didn't leave you feeling lightheaded.

He doesn't want to kiss me, you mentally admitted.

Walking in a winter wonderland

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

If you could’ve gone in your pajamas, you would've. Dressing up to the nines was never your favorite, sure it was fun for a little, but once the sweat seeped into the fabric of your shirt you lost interest.

I’ll have a blue Christmas without you,

Still, you knew once you just got there and found a few people to mingle with, you would be fine. You'd have fun! You’d sing and party! You’d drink a lot!!

With a heavy heart, and one last longing glance back at your large bed with the welcoming blankets and book on the nightstand… you fixed the cuffs of your emerald green button up and exited to the hallway.

The lights had all been dimmed, a reminder that you were the last person showing up for this thing. Did anyone notice you weren't there yet? The party really only started an hour ago… a quick peek at your smart watch told you no. No alerts, no texts, no missed calls… not even a Team message.

I’ll be so blue just thinking about you,

“I didn't mean to be the last one,” You mumbled to yourself, pulling out your phone to check the time once more (and to verify you had absolutely no alerts). As you walked a little faster to the elevators, the silence in the tower was eerily welcoming. With the decorations about, you felt like the creature that stirred in all of the old Christmas tales. Walking purposefully to keep the noise to a minimum reminded you of all the times you’d sneak around on Christmas eve to see if you could catch Santa or something similar.

The main rooms aside from the bedroom hallways pulled you from the distant memories. Carpets that switched to off-white tiles made you subconsciously straighten your back and stand a smidge taller.

Your shoes sounded loud on tile, forgoing the muted walking in favor of speed. By habit, you hug the edge of the frame as you step into the elevator, avoiding the mistletoe that hangs above it.

How many times had you passed that while with Bucky? They had all been hung up for weeks and surely the two of you had been under them together at some point? Oh, God… Bucky. He was definitely at the party. Not that you didn't want him to be there! But since you’d been in your head all day about him, he was becoming someone you didn't really want to see.

Decorations of red on a green christmas tree,

As the elevator rose, so did the tense knot in your stomach. Those same nerves that had you fiddling with your buttons and rings were now transforming into something arguably worse. Hunger.

Breathing out a tense breath, you allowed a smile to pull on your lips as you remembered Tony’s promise to the team- his bribe to Steve to let him even throw this thing- Food and drinks from Asguard.

The food wasn't anything truly remarkable, it was like Midguard food but with more complex flavors. Things that lingered longer, tasted bolder, but all in all the same. What was remarkable was the drinks. That shit could get the super soldiers wasted, so it would most definitely spice up your night as well.

Wont be the same, dear, if you’re not here with me,

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

Oh yeah! You chuckled mentally, taking another hearty sip of your spiked cider, Asguardian alcohol is just what I needed…

The party was loud- very loud- you could hardly hear yourself breathing over the Christmas carols. Though, the carols were becoming more and more sparse as the night progressed. Interrupted with more club music and modern beats as the hoard of dancers decided they couldn't effectively boogie down to O Holy Night.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

Cowards, all of them, you thought to yourself as another remix of some pop song thumped from the speakers. You sighed and rolled your neck, working out the kinks as you tried to shift away from the bar. Your face was feeling warm and the liquid gold of alcohol in your hands wasn't going to get spilt just because of an intoxicated person.

You were on your 4th(?) drink? But this was the first one that was Asguardian. Honestly? You probably should've just been doing this all night! It hit your stomach lightly and was smooth going down, the type of alcohol that would definitely mess you up if you weren't careful… which was probably why they were only letting people only have one drink.

“Woah, ok, I think I’m getting deja vu,” A deep voice chuckles as a familiar man slides up next to you. You hadn't been avoiding him, honestly surprised you’d only seen him just now. His voice sounded wiggly as he placed a hand on your lower back. Mmm, you might be a bit more intoxicated than you thought you'd get… A spark of heat shot through your body at his touch, your spine stiffened as you tilted your head towards him.

Let your heart be light

Has he been looking for you? It might just be sudden wishful thinking, but you couldn't deny the giddiness that fluttered through your veins at the thought. Thanks to the only lighting being strobing red and green fairy lights you really couldn't clearly see his face, but his expressions were always something of an open book to you. Bucky initially held a carefree grin, but after just a few seconds of dizzying eye contact, he looked concerned.

When you didn't reply (instead just clumsily nudging his hand away from your body), he leaned a little closer to ask, “How many drinks have you had tonight?” The playful tone mostly dropped from his voice and replaced instantly with a deep seeded concern.

Dazzling.

From now on, our troubles will be out of sight,

You noticed he had shifted his arm to be just enough between you and some person who was dancing quite wildly. You felt warm, perspiration on the nape of your neck and lower back. The dancing bodies and close confinements weren't helping at all.

“Uhm,” You mumbled as you looked towards the bar. Your brows pulled together as you tried to count the cups you had gone through. “Fffffour….” you slowly said, uncertainty laced in your voice. Your tongue blindly ran over your lower lip, like you were subconsciously trying to remember the taste of all the drinks you had previously consumed.

Though your tongue felt heavy, you'd argue you weren't drunk. Grinning as you looked down at your drink, you would definitely be drunk after this one. Almost instantly, you found yourself forgetting he was in front of you.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,

“That… doesn't sound right,” Bucky muttered, a wary smile ghosting over his face. His voice cut through your haze, pulling your attention back to him. He gently reached out to tap the side of your cup, the iced brown liquid sloshing slightly, “I think you've had a bit much, hm?”

You wrinkled your nose and sniffed at his declaration, “Four isn't much,” you argued.

“And,” You quickly add, leaning towards him as a smile pulls on your lips, “This is my first one with the good alcohol.”

You notice his lack of drink, and his demeanor is far more sober than you would've expected. In fact, you don't think he drank at all tonight. He mirrored your grin, sucking in air through his teeth as he nodded down to your cup once more.

“Mh, I don't think you need the good alcohol,” He gently teases, "You're plenty drunk as is.”

“Youre not drunk at all,” You counter, his presence was more sobering to you than water was. It was that same feeling of cold water that vividly lives in your mind ever since the Thanksgiving party. You knew why he made you feel sweaty yet freezing all at once, and you briefly wondered if he felt the same.

“Told you I'm not a day drinker,” He says with a sigh, shrugging casually. He gently grabbed your wrist, loose enough that you could pull away if you wanted. When he knew you weren't going to shove him off again, he guided you towards one of the bar stools.

Make the yuletide gay,

You sat on the raised stool, just a hair taller than Bucky now if you sat up straight. The ache in your feet appeared as you finally took your weight off of them.

“... it's 11 pm,” you chuckle as you set your chin in your hand, propping yourself on the bar. Your other hand idly played with the lip of your cup.

Bucky drew you in, he always did. The thoughts of drowning out your feelings with drinks tonight flitted quickly away. It was easier tonight to silence all the noise in the room. The music, people, and noise was all just clutter in the way of Bucky.

“Yeah, on a FriDAY,” He replied quickly with a lighthearted eyeroll. Shaking his head with a faux disappointed expression.

You loudly snort and lightly shove his arm at his stupid pun. You don't think you’d ever heard him make a joke that wasn't dry humor or a cleverly worded insult. It was like a breath of fresh air, and you could tell that it was new for him too. Though, the flicker of vulnerability in his eyes was quickly brought back to concern and care.

From now on our troubles will be miles away,

Your conversation for the next half hour was lighthearted; pointing out those who looked out of place as the night progressed, finding a team member who was getting a little too into the holiday spirit, and those who were very much not enjoying the spirit. Bucky slowly moved a bit closer to you as you talked, close enough that you wanted to believe he felt the same way.

Though the conversation was what you truly needed tonight, your drink hadn't gone untouched. Drinking it a little faster than the others that you had objectively nursed throughout the night. The alcohol definitely hit you harder, but you still felt as tipsy as when you started. By Bucky’s wry looks and the slow build in gentleness of his words, it was clear you were more wasted than you'd ever been around him before.

Here we are, as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore,

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

Though the years I’ve moved a lot,

“I thought you said Christmas was your favorite holiday?” You mumble to Bucky, sipping from the cup of water he had given you once he walked you back to the main kitchen.

It was dark in the kitchen, only the silver of the moon reflecting off the snow provided light in the room. The way it caught the silver tinsel that adorned the cabinets made it look like snow was falling inside as the specks of light reflected off of it and onto the walls.

“It is,” he admits with a small nod. He had been leaning against the countertop with both forearms while he played with some of the fake snow fabric that sat under a tiny ceramic neighborhood, “Well, kind of…”

Different doors with different locks,

“Kind of?” you echo as you arch an inquisitive brow. You gulped down the last bit of water in your cup, holding it out to him to be refiled once more. You bite back a burp that rumbled up your throat, stomach agitated at the water as it mixed with the alcohol.

“Mostly a fan of the mistle toe,” he reminded you, glancing up at a sprig that hung above the door frame just a few feet away. He did not look at it long, the quiet hiss of the faucet running as he filled your cup once more. He slid it towards you, “Last one, I promise, then I'll let you sleep,” he murmured.

Your grumbles died on your tongue as you forced yourself to take another sip, "Didn't take you as a sap for that kind of tradition,” you honestly tell him. Just a few hours ago you would've scolded yourself for saying that without second thought- no - you wouldn't have even let the words leave your lips.

“Wasn’t about tradition, I just never found a good time to kiss you,” he immediately replies. You paused, looking up at him and meeting his light blue eyes. If you were any more sober, you probably would've become instantly flustered. Perhaps laugh it off and deny it.

But somehow Christmas always finds me,

But you weren't sober. And you were a little sick of waiting.

“You can kiss me now.”

Your voice didn't sound like your own. Though you felt confident, feeling like you had nothing to lose, your voice was a timid whisper. Your tongue felt heavy again, and the turmoil in your stomach only grew as your mouth worked faster than your brain.

It’s been a while since I wished,

But Bucky only grinned. He shook his head ‘no’ as he sighed. He stood up and peaked at your cup of water, not much had really been drunk.

“I'm not going to kiss you when you're drunk,” He whispers, taking the cup from you and dumping it down the sink when he pieced together he'd already gotten you to drink all the water he could.

“I'm not drunk” you denied, letting him gently usher you towards your room. Though, your stumbling steps and spinning vision told you otherwise.

For roller blades and pixie sticks,

“You wont remember this in the morning," He teased. The hint of disappointment in his voice wasn't missed by you, “That is enough to tell me you're too drunk.”

Once you made it to your room in one piece, you leaned heavily against your door frame. The welcoming scent of pine and the warm reds of your bed sheets called to you. Only making the fog of sleepiness thicker.

“What if I do remember?” you whispered, face falling as you tilted your head to the side.

There wasn't mistletoe above your door. You noticed it almost immediately when decorations had been put up. Well, in all fairness, no one had it above their bedroom doors, but right now you were extremely disappointed.

“Then we'll find some mistletoe.”

But somehow, Christmas always finds me

˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧

Is it too late, too late? To let you know,

Your head only lightly ached the next morning. Pounding back another two cups of water the moment you woke up and mentally thanking Bucky for making you drink last night.

Right…

Last night…

Had… had he really said that? Or was your brain just that desperate for a sappy hallmark-esq Christmas moment?

Well, there was really only one thing you could do.

You did not spare yourself a second glance as you left your room, you already knew what you must've looked like. Hair sticking up in every direction, sleep still in your eyes, shirt crumpled from sleeping like a log.

I can pass it off as hungover, you tell yourself, hardly paying attention as you shuffle to the kitchen. It was early enough that the place was still quiet, a chill in the air from a cracked open window that made you shiver. Everyone else probably drank way more than you did, and they didn't have a super soldier mothering them to drink water directly afterwards.

I can’t quite escape,

Blinking and adjusting to the brightness of the kitchen, you scowled as another gust of wind blew through, Just be vague, but not too vague, you thought as you struggled to pull the window shut.

“Got it?” Bucky asked as he stood from the table, he was sitting close enough to the wall that you hadn't seen him there. His sudden appearance startled a response out of you, pulling your arms back to your body as you jumped slightly.

“I remember,” you quickly blurt out, arms falling to your sides.

You felt stupid as you just stood there, both of you looking at each other for a few silent moments.

How much I need you,

“You… remember last night?” Bucky asks, voice emphasising ‘night’ as he pushes away from the table and walks towards you carefully.

The way he looked you over made panic settle back in your bones. He was just taking care of you, you were misremembering things, you were just drunk and now you're just desperate.

“Yeah, last night…” you dumbly agree. “Or, I at least hope I do” was silently said.

You’re walkin’ towards me now,

“How much water did I make you drink?” He asks, voice low. It was just so that he didn't wake up anyone else. He probably doesn't want to be too loud since everyone else is also hungover…

“Four. One for each drink I had,” I sound stupid, I probably look stupid too, “But I didn't finish the last one.”

Bucky nodded at you, the small smile that pulled on his lips made your mind go blank. God, you'd do anything to see him smile like that all the time.

“And?” He prompted. With each step closer he took towards you your heart hammered louder and louder. How did he look so put together in the mornings? Like he's been awake for hours… Gosh, he looks great all the time-

What am I gonna say? Push my pride aside,

“And… there's mistletoe,” you mumble, finding your voice with only minor struggle. You didn't have to look to your right to know there was a small sprig of the plant pinned to the covered support beam of the ceiling. You had memorized where all of them were, as to be always close to them but never directly under them.

“There’s mistletoe,” Bucky whispered. And in a moment his hand gently cupped the side of your face as he kissed you. His head tilted to the side as his lips were pressed firmly against yours. They were soft as he gently pulled your body closer to him, your own hand falling to his waist and the other grabbing his shoulder.

When I close my eyes, It’s just you and I,

You didn't know how long you were there with him, though you knew you kissed him back instantly. The other thing you definitely knew was that this moment, disorderly standing in the kitchen that was overly decked out in whites and silvers, you weren't going to be forgetting any time soon.

Hell, now Christmas is your favorite holiday.

Well, mostly the mistletoe.

Here under the mistletoe

#bucky barnes #bucky x male reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes imagine #avengers x reader #avengers x male reader #avengers #marvel #i dont know how to write kissing scenes #bucky my love #its too early in yhe morning for htis shitty writing omfgggg

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nekropsii · 8 months ago

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Atomic Ask Bomb... 2!!

Hello, all! We are back in the mines immediately, because you all love me and my inbox so much. I still have 200+ more asks to sort through after this and that is not hyperbole!! Oops!!

Content Warning: Long, and Cronus is There.

You can be both. I am both. I think Terezi's easily in the Top 3 of Best Written Homestuck Characters, no competition. AND she compels me.

Mituna Fans and Terezi Fans flocking together like how Gays and Lesbians are supposed to.

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He doesn't have a Recuperacoon. He doesn't NEED a Recuperacoon. Who needs a Recuperacoon when you have a bathtub? You pile a bunch of slime in there, and then you can pop the drain open in the morning and take a shower right there where you just got up. It's convenient. And not at all sad. It's not sad guys.

Let's pretend for a moment that either Vantas would have regular bathing habits for the sake of this joke.

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Even if that's the case, it really doesn't change anything. Insecurity doesn't justify literal actual sexual harassment and sexual assault. What?

People will do anything to excuse random shitty men for being shitty. Sympathy is the favorite weapon in Fandom Misogyny's arsenal. So often will fans pull some random bullshit out of their ass just to say that it's fine that a male character is abusive, especially if it's to women, because "He's Sad", so he should never face criticism or punishment for his actions.

We should all start putting people in blenders. We've let these arguments go on long enough. People are far too bold in their abuse apologia. We need to kill them.

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Yeah. Like, he interests me a lot, he's one of the characters I take the most interest in out of all of the Alpha Trolls. I literally write sov!Cronus. I hate his guts, though. It really is just that easy to be a fan of a character and also fucking hate them. Not once have I ever made an excuse for him. The goal Hussie set out for when writing him was making him inexcusable and irredeemable, down to Cronus literally knowing what he's doing is bad and hurts people, and simply just not caring.

Cronus is genuinely fucking evil. That's the whole point. If you make him misunderstood, if you make him mean well, if you make him lack self awareness, if you make him sympathetic, if you give him any redeeming qualities at all... You are missing the point completely. If you want a sympathetic asshole character, you want Vriska. The point of Cronus is that he's The Worst Character In Homestuck, and that he has zero redeeming qualities and trying to fix him or redeem him is a Hopeless venture. He is beyond saving. Don't you dare even think about trying - to try to make him palatable is to erase Violent Bigotry, Incest, and Child Sexual Abuse. Just don't. Enjoy him as he is, do NOT defang him.

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He truly is the worst! I think we should explode all depictions of fanon!Cronus. Forever.

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Yeah, there's a huge reason why I do not say I'm a fan of Cronus or call him a favorite character of mine or anything. It projects a certain... Image. The wrong one. There's just such a strong precedent for anyone saying they're a Cronus Fan or calling him their Favorite Character being a person who just completely fucking ignores everything about him, or even pardons it, saying it's fine, actually, because He's Sad, or that it's Not That Bad, actually. I can't stand it.

I'm aware there are Cronus Fans who are totally normal, but I cannot help but immediately be wary of them, or flinch for a moment even when they offer the reassurance that they know better. It's a natural response, having been here for around a decade and having been a Mituna Fan the whole time.

Liking characters who are terrible people is fine. Based, even, in some cases. But... It's truly difficult with Cronus, because so much of that fanbase relies on excusing/minimizing/condoning abuse and bigotry. I don't have any qualms with people liking characters that suck, but when a fanbase for a character is so heavily focused on pretending that character isn't a horrible, terrible, awful person who abuses people - even children, even people they're related to, even children that they're related to - for nothing but their own sexual gain... I start having issues. That sets a pretty dangerous precedent, to me.

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It's crazy to me how so much of the apologism is because he's hot. Because he literally isn't. You all have terrible taste.

Let's all appreciate for a moment just how fucking ugly he is. The fan art is lying so bad. He needs a haircut. His shirt doesn't fit him, and honestly looks like women's clothes - you know those women's shirts that have the sleeves that stop halfway down the damn shoulder? He looks like a 16 year old. He's so skinny, and his shoulders are so... rounded and small - which are fine traits to have, but literally every piece of fanart portrays him as broad-shouldered and ripped when the literal opposite is true. You just know he has too much product in his hair. His actual sprite is even worse.

The way his fly doesn't even go all the way up. The way his hair clips into his face. The way he's slightly yellow for literally no reason. The shitty belt. This fucking sucks. He's so ugly. He isn't even hot.

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Mituna having Memory Loss as a result of his TBI is literally a myth invented by Cronus to emotionally manipulate Mituna and perpetuated by Cronus Fans. I think if they were friends in the past, Cronus's actions would be worse, actually.

Could you imagine getting sad that your friend doesn't remember you because of a Traumatic Brain Injury, and your response to this sadness is to abuse and sexually assault them on the regular? What, is that Just Bro Things now? Cronus literally says he targets Mituna because he thinks he can get away with it due to his struggles with communication. The thing about them being buddies in the past was one of his trademark Lies. Because he is known to do that, specifically to manipulate people. Because he is known to manipulate people. Emotionally. Because he is abusive. And terrible. And not redeemable. This isn't rocket science! It isn't rocket science to say that pushing the fault of Mituna's abuse onto Mituna is Victim-Blaming!

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Positively fucking ridiculous that so many people did not recognize their romance within the comic. If they were boys, there'd be no god damn question about it. It'd be up there in everyone's OTP list alongside DaveKat.

I think they're adorable. They're one of my favorite pairings.

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It's great in the source comic, especially during earlier phases of its existence, but the quality deprecates drastically the further you get from that point. I hate it in Fanon and in Dub/Post-Canon.

It's a great off-screen pairing for a lot of lore reasons - namely it being great to let Dave slowly allow himself to love and be loved in private, with no fear of eyes on him. He's never really been able to have privacy before, with all the cameras and eyes on him all the time, and he's never been able to really let his guard down and be vulnerable. He's never been able to love and be loved, safely. I ultimately think they should've kept their relationship mostly private, even after Dave's recovered quite a bit, because sometimes having something just for yourself without that need to perform it is healing in itself. Mental health maintenance.

In Fanon, it seems like pretty standard yaoi, though. Boring. Tired. Literally everywhere. Voyeuristic as always.

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Thank you! My Inbox generally really isn't that bad at all, honestly! Most people are pretty cordial! Anon Hate for me is pretty rare. Thankfully, the Delete Ask button exists, so I don't have to worry about those Anons for very long, lol.

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I hate to say this, but back in my day, plenty of people actually did do that. In fact, people only knowing Homestuck through fan material and then still calling themselves a fan is a big reason why old Homestuck fanon was so bad and so far off the mark!

I have a name for those kinds of fans, because it was such a frequent occurrence it begged for a title. I call them Secondaries. Like "Secondary Source"!

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World's most based triad, I think. Should be real. It's real to me.

7H15 15 MY 91RLFR13NF, L47UL4. 4DN 7H51 15 7UL45 9R1LFR13ND, P0RR1M.

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I think everyone should start watching actual horror movies. I think these people should watch Re-Animator and Bride of Re-Animator. I think this would fix the fandom, because a lot of people are just posting about horror movies without realizing they're posting about horror movies. Go watch a horror movie. They even have more and, frankly, more interesting gay representation than... Whatever Dirk and Jake have going on. Sorry.

If you're a gay man, get some hair on your chest and watch a bunch of horror movies. There's more in this life than anime twinks and skinny white pixel men. There's BlackRom Old Man Pet Play (The Lighthouse, 2019), there's Tormented Huge Dirty Bear (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, 2006), there's The Bisexual Psychological Torture + Betrayal Chamber (Saw, 2004), there's Dysfunctional Gay Marriage Disputes (Re-Animator, 1985, Bride of Re-Animator, 1990). And way more other ones than I can really list. Expand your horizons.

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Not much. It's a bit mysterious. Here's what Aranea had to say about Mituna in general, which gives us most of the crumbs we have:

The Heir of Doom was once a powerful psionic. He had much to say when it came to warning us a8out the path of doom and destruction we were all headed for, 8ut no one took him very seriously. 8ut one day he lost all those abilities when he 8adly overexerted himself. It's hard to get any specifics from him, 8ut indications are that he applied every last 8it of energy he had toward some great act of heroism, saving us all from some looming threat. Not only did his exertion permanently 8urn out his psychic a8ilities, 8ut it left him somewhat... er. Incoherent. The entire incident is shrouded in mystery. From his limited and scattered accounts of what happened, it seems very likely that Kurloz was with him at the time, as the only eye witness. And of course it's impossi8le to get any relia8le information out of him. I guess we may never know, sadly.

This does say quite a lot, but not really anything specific. We've got some stuff about how he's the session's Cassandra, the fact that the GAoH was NOT an accident (this is the misconception that pisses me off the most, I think - I hate when people call it an accident), the fact that he was protecting everyone from something... The fact that he DOES remember it, the fact that Kurloz was there, as the only eye witness, and refuses to talk about it.

It leaves plenty of room for speculation. A little too much room for me, honestly, but that's fine, I'm not really pressed about it.

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s-4pphics · 2 years ago

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scent of the pine. 2 (e.w.)

wc;cw : 5.4k, ANGSTTTT, sistersbestfriend!ellie, gutarist/producer!ellie, age gap(three years), violinist!oc, all ocs r black coded yall see it, queers being queer omg so lame🙄, descriptions of mania, anxiety and panic attacks, depression, lots of crying, yelling and screaming, ellie’s mean, but so is big sis😛, reader getting bold oop, slight smut(ellie gets head, but nothing super descriptive), like one mention of vaping/drinking, more time skips :|, cat’s kinda rich and hot😳, protective big sis struggles :(, more sad, brief mention of deceased and verbally abusive parents clock that teaaa :O, actual classical music references bc i’m a nerd obsessed w orchestras

It was December, you were fifteen, and you haven’t heard from Ellie since her birthday.

After you and your sister frantically left the Miller residence, you’d broke down on your front porch. Despite your attempts of trying to hide your devastation from your sister until you at least got inside, so many emotions—sadness, anger, love, lovelovelove — exploded right in front of your front door.

What the fuck did she say to you?! your sister had asked angrily. You knew in your gut that she hadn’t been upset with you, but you couldn’t help the immense guilt that overtook your body. You’d unintentionally dragged your beloved sister into you and her best friend’s one-sided, fucked up love story. Even though you knew your sister loved Ellie, she loved you more and she would pick you over anyone that she knew without a second of doubt. You might’ve just ruined twelve years of friendship. You hated yourself. You wanted to disappear.

Your sister had calmed you down enough for you to regain functionality and quietly walk inside so that you wouldn’t wake your mother. She’d bent down to help you unlace your boots as you dug your palms into your eyes. Your sister had quickly hung up her keys on the holder on the wall, tossed her clutch on the couch, and guided you upstairs.

After both of you got to her room, she gently closed the door behind you before she started pressing you for information. She was always there to gently talk you back down to earth when you were overwhelmed, but when her angered tone penetrated your ears and your skull, you knew you wouldn’t be getting out of this one easily.

“What the fuck just happened!” she angrily whispered as she trapped your back to the door with an accusatory point of her finger.

Your trembles began peaking again. All you could do was shake your head. Don’t say it. Don’t. You were so frazzled that you hadn’t noticed your sister’s phone buzzing in her hand the second you both left. Ellie. You knew it was Ellie. It had to be her. Ellie. Oh god. EllieEllieEllie—

She’d raised her voice slightly as she called your name in attempts to regain your attention.

You’d gripped your black cloak tighter in your hands. Nononono don’t say it don’t—

“I'm in.. I… love…her.” you’d barely whispered.

She choked out a small what.

You’d squeezed your eyes shut as more tears escaped at a pace you couldn’t control.

“I… Lov..e,” you whimpered out, your voice cracking. You could barely breathe.

Your sister's eyes had widened in acknowledgement before her expression fell, and it made you sob harder.

Your sister had fallen silent after your very shaky and gay admission that night.

She brought herself down from the initial shock before she coaxed you through your breathing exercises. Once she noticed that you had finally calmed down, she gently took your hand in hers and led you towards her private bathroom. She watched you jump onto the sink as she turned the water on before she quickly retreated to her room to grab herself and you some pajamas and wash clothes from her dresser.

When she returned, she handed you your usual oversized t-shirt, which you stood to change into, before she put your washcloth under the cool stream of water and patted your still burning face. She noticed you’d been closely watching her expression with the hopes of finding anything in her eyes, but she remained stoic and moved on autopilot.

She’d quickly changed clothes, washed her face, and put her bonnet on before walking you both back into her bedroom and to her bed. She went to her usual side before getting under her cotton sheets, tucking herself in with her back turned to you.

She’d felt you ease into the bed before you shuffled closer whispering a gentle and terrified do you hate me? in which she simply shook her head no against her pillow.

She felt you wrap your smaller arms around her frame as you held her close, and she finally allowed the tears she’d held back to overflow. She prayed you hadn’t noticed.

She’d felt you squeeze tighter.

Your birthday was still.

Even though your friends had gone all out for your special day, —they baked you red velvet cupcakes and brought balloons to your first period classroom, much to your teacher’s dismay— you faked your excitement and enthusiasm even though you appreciated their grand gesture.

When you’d finally gained the courage to invite them over to tell them what happened on that traumatic night, they’d been nothing but supportive and comforting. Starr even hollered out a fuck ellie! into your shoulder for extra emphasis as she hugged you, in which you sadly, but jokingly replied not too much.

Your sister had been driving you to school that week due to your mother’s new work duties—bless her heart— and every time she caught your eyes in the rearview mirror, she quickly dropped them, staring back at the road blankly. She’d mumbled out a see you at three as she parked on the curb of your campus, which you sadly nodded at before you got out of the car with your violin case in hand.

She never used to drop you off without an i love you! and be safe!

You’d ruined everything.

Ellie was a wreck.

She couldn’t gather the strength to contact your sister, you, or even your mother for over a month and her self-inflicted negligence had her experiencing a loss that she hadn’t felt since her fucking mom died. A vacancy. An emptiness.

After you fled from the patio that night, she instinctively moved to chase after you with a shout of your name before her girlfriend released a shriek of are you seriously fucking leaving right now, el, what the fuck?! and her tone made her halt. Her breathing had been heavy, but she was practically hyperventilating now, picking hard at her scarred cuticles as hot tears filled her eyes, and she immediately regretted throwing this fucking party. Fuck Halloween and fuck Jason fuck everything—

She’d memorized that tone from the countless arguments she had with her girlfriend— her mom—about choice. Specifically, the ones that she made.

You either stay here with me, or you go live with your fucking dad and never see me again! It’s up to you!

She knew that she had to choose between you: someone who treated her so gently, looked at her like she hung the stars in the sky, saw her in her purest form. And someone she accidentally fell in love with. Someone who tended to her wounds. Someone who provided a good distraction from the chaotic world that surrounded her.

And at that moment, she decided that person wasn’t you.

She exhaled deeply before turning, defeatedly walked back to her girlfriend in resignation. She’d fallen back into the arms that pulled her out of her own darkness. Dina (who’d been desperately calling your sister since you two left), Jesse, and the rest of her friends had nearly torn the back door off the hinges at how hard they pulled it open, loudly asking what the fuck was going on with you. Cat had hissed something at them all, but Ellie couldn’t hear anything over the loud pounding in her ears. She needed to lay down.

She’d slowly lifted her head up from her girlfriend’s shoulder and turned, accidentally meeting Dina’s eyes.

They were always so comforting. So gentle.

They made her think of your sister. Of you.

And now here she was. Sat on the edge of her girlfriend's bed with her customized electric and embroidered pic in hand. Almost two months later, and she’d made no effort to contact either of you. Your sister was loyal, and she was almost positive you hated her, so she didn’t push either of you to do anything.

But even then, she couldn’t get the crushing look of heartbreak in your eyes out of her mind. It ate at her.

There was no way in hell you had a crush on her.

Right? Right?

She was pulled from her thoughts by hands on her back, slowly sliding up her shoulders, soft and caressing, light kisses being pressed onto her neck. She shivered.

Cat had invited her to her parents’ vacation loft in Los Angeles for a week so that she could get a feel of the fast-paced lifestyle that only existed in the city. Her dad had feared letting her go to another state alone, but she was able to convince him with a surprise charcuterie board brunch for the two of them.

Joel had always been a wine mom.

She’d desperately needed a change of scenery after everything erupted, and her girlfriend wanted nothing more than to give her that. She had been having an enjoyable time, much to her surprise, throwing herself into any creative escape she could—playing guitar, going to karaoke with Cat and her drunk friends, painting, even producing (something that she fell in love with a year ago)—but she couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d been missing something.

She placed her pic and guitar on the mattress before turning her head to connect her lips with Cat as she wrapped her smaller hand around her throat to hold her still. Heat swirled in her belly as she whimpered, her girlfriend pushing her tongue past her lips to slide onto hers. Her girlfriend gently pushed her onto her back before swinging her left leg over to straddle her, reconnecting their lips in a heated kiss. Ellie grinded her hips up to meet Cat while she pushed down to meet hers, both girls letting out wanton moans into each other's mouths.

Cat tore at Ellie’s clothes and sensually kissed her way down her body until her head was between her trembling legs as she drew moan after whine after pant from the flushed, freckled girl’s mouth. She felt nothing but a hot, building feeling in the pit of her stomach before her peak slammed into her as her eyes rolled back and body trembled while she gripped the black sheets.

She came down from her euphoria as her girlfriend pressed gentle kisses all over her chest and face while she hit her girl’s nic that’d been discarded on the nightstand, exhaling the smoke.

Ellie was supposed to feel completely elated: this was all she’d ever wanted. All her little heart had dreamed of. But she couldn’t rid herself of the guilt festering in her stomach like roaches.

A strong, drowning guilt.

March came along, and you were slowly regaining your footing.

To say that these cold months were hard would be a grave understatement. You’d been having trouble eating and sleeping. Even if you did get an increment of shut eye, when you’d awoken, you wished you hadn’t as you gazed at the frost that had coated your bedroom window. Your violin case had been collecting dust in the corner of your room and you couldn’t even bring yourself to care.

Arya had become so concerned that she almost told your mother about your behavior before you pleadingly begged her not to. She reluctantly fell back, but she, as well as Kris and Starr, kept a close eye on you afterwards.

The only upside to your winter was that your sister began speaking to you again in January. Gentle how are you’s turned into i’m sorrys that turned into tear-riddled i love you so muchs, not knowing that you’d been praying that she would forgive you and your wrongs.

After the rough patch with your sister was stitched up, you began to manically memorize all six of Niccolò Paganini’s concertos, declining all your friend’s invites to hang out.

If your brain wanted to be your arch nemesis, fine, but you were at least going to try to fight back with the shrilling notes of Adagio.

One late night, your practicing had gotten so intense that your mother barged into your room practically begging you to lay the fuck down and go to sleep, with which you stubbornly replied sleep is for the weak! before starting the entire first concerto from the beginning… for the seventh time. You watched her shake her head before gently shutting the door. I turned my baby into a monster, she’d thought on the walk back to her bedroom.

You put your small remainder of energy into your math homework, into cleaning, into violin, hell, you’d even asked your sister if she could dig up her rusted, pink recorder from her multitude of stuffed boxes in her closet so you could learn and practice, which threw her for a whim. She said hell the fuck no.

Although you'd looked like you'd been hit by thirty oncoming buses for the entire month of February, your musical perception had been the best it's ever been. Every time you shut your eyes, your surroundings melted into the black and white lines from your sheet music, symphonic melodies drowning out the white noise in your head.

This was real joy; this was real love! —

“Bro, what the fuck are you smiling at? Kris was just telling us about how her cat predicted her grandma's death.”

You were quickly pulled from your colorful fantasy by Arya’s voice, crashing back down to your friends who were sitting at the small lunch table with you. They’d been looking at you like you lost your mind.

“OH, uh, I was just, um… thinking about this joke my sister told me this morning! It’s been on my mind all day,” you said with a sheepish laugh.

“Mhmm. What was the joke.” Starr said with a blank stare.

Dammit, uh! —

“Girl, we all know you’ve been going through it lately, but you’re going to have to get over this shit at some point,” Kris said, gently placing her hand on yours. “What you’re doing isn’t… healthy.”

You were immediately in defense-mode, straightening your back before your eyes hardened at your friend, snatching your hand back from underneath your friend's manicured hand, making her flinch.

“I thought I told y’all not to give me pity anymore, I’m fine, I’ve been fine this whole time actually,” you said, annoyed, “I just got distracted, it’s not that serious.”

“Calm the hell down,” Arya, just as irritated, cut in. “We’re not giving you a fucking pity party, we’re concerned, as we should be. You’ve been rippin’ and runnin’ since fucking New Years, sorry for actually caring about your well-being.”

Her scolding immediately made you remorseful as the angry crease in your eyebrows relaxed, your eyes softening.

Your eyes met Kris's even softer ones, reaching out for her hand that was left on the table, “‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw that… on you like that,” you said, embarrassed at your behavior.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

Starr, who was seated next to you, threw her arm over your shoulder to pull you closer before planting a wet smooch on your forehead.

“Don’t apologize, you fuckin’ asshole,” she said with a cheesy grin. “Just stop going off on the people that wanna see you happy. We want what’s best for you because you deserve it. End of story.”

“You bitches are so corny, I swear to god.” Arya said with a fat eye roll, before getting up to lean over the table to kiss your cheek.

You loved them so bad, holy shit.

When you were at school, your sister received a phone call from Ellie.

She had been seated on the living room couch, munching on microwavable Kraft mac ‘n cheese while rewatching the seventh season of Bad Girls Club before her phone started vibrating on the table.

She almost declined it, but something in the back of her mind told her to swallow her pride and hear her out. Even if she was only given five minutes.

She put down her cup of mac, picked up her phone, and clicked the green button at the bottom of the screen before bringing it up to her ear.

It was silent for some seconds before a raspy voice that she missed so dearly rang through her head.

“Umm… hey. Are you busy right now?”

Your sister pulled into the mall complex that was ten minutes away from your house on Ellie’s orders of yeah i’ll be by the old Chik-Fil-A building just lmk when ur here and i’ll come 2 u. At first, she was skeptical that Ellie and her weird ass girlfriend were planning to jump her, but after Ellie explained that she worked full-time at the record shop in the complex and that she would be on break, she accepted.

She pulled into a parking spot before reaching for her phone and sending her a here, to which she replied with a comin.

She got out of her car before locking it, walking up and onto the sidewalk of the complex. She turned around at the call of her name, finally making eye contact with the girl that she would’ve never expected to fall out with.

She still looked cute, though. Good for her.

“…hey.” Ellie said

“What’s up.” your sister replied stoically.

“Nothin’, trying to make money,” she said with a soft laugh before gesturing behind your sibling to the mall bench. “We can sit if you wanna.”

“I’m good.”

She took a deep breath at the tone of her voice before softly replying “Okay… umm... how’ve you been doing?”

Your sister was starting to get aggravated with her friend’s…? Foe? She didn’t even know anymore… this girl’s attempt at small talk, so she cut it short.

“Ellie, why'd you call me out here.”

The girl paused, taken aback, “Are you really going to act like that right now?”

“Don’t try to question me right now! Where the fuck have you been?!”

“I should be asking you the same shit! You didn’t care enough to reach out to me either!” She said, voice raising with hers. Regular mallgoers were starting to look at the two of them crazy, but neither of them cared.

“Why the fuck would I reach out to you when all this shit is your fault! And before you try to fuckin’ lie, my sister told me everything!”

“Oh yeah? She told you everything? What the fuck did she say, then?”

“How you called her a little fuckin’ kid in front of your bitch ass girlfriend! —“

“Watch your fucking mouth!”

“FUCK YOU AND HER!” your sister screamed out, waving her arms around. Poor little Jimmy in the Spider-man onesie that was glued to his mom.

“THEN FUCK YOU TOO! I knew talking to your stubborn ass would be fucking pointless anyway!”

“I’m sure she’s gonna have a fuckin’ field day when she hears about how you’re acting right now,” your sister said with a scoff, referencing you.

“Fuckin’ tell her! Tell her how bad of a person I am, maybe it’ll fucking slap some sense into her,” she said viciously. Your sister dropped her purse and attempted to pounce on her best friend, before the mall security pulled up in a worn golf cart with a gruff hey! what’s the big idea?!

Both girls had been breathing heavily, faces inches away from each other, before your sister let out a harsh, shaky sigh, picking up her purse from the mall bench.

“You know she told me she was in love with you?” your sister said shakily. Ellie froze, eyes slightly softening, before she tensed up again, releasing a scoff.

“Oh my fucking god, you gotta be kidding me,” she said as she rubbed her hands down her face in exasperation. Both girls stood in silence before Ellie snapped.

“How many times do I have to say that it doesn’t… fucking matter. You’re both mad at me for calling her a fucking kid when she is a fucking kid! You really thought we would fucking… ride off into the sunset and be together, are you fucking serious?”

“Nobody’s saying that! —“

“I'm gonna have to escort you two off the premises if you don’t cut it out right now— “

“Don’t fucking bother, we’re done talking,” Ellie spat nastily. “Go the fuck home.”

The freckled girl quickly turned away and angrily stomped down the sidewalk and back into her work building.

Your sister stood there stunned, eyes sweltering, before the—fucking annoying— mall cop addressed her, “Ma’am, do you need me to call someone to come get you”—

“No.” she gritted out harshly before walking back to her car just as pissed.

The minute she slammed her car door shut, she broke.

She sobbed and sobbed hard, hitting her steering wheel since she couldn't get her hands on the person she wanted, making her horn accidentally honk! which scared the fuck out of this old lady walking with her grocery bags.

Your sister didn’t care. All she could do was sit there and pray that her ex-best friend would run up to her car, tear the door open, and hold her close like she used to when she was upset.

But Ellie never came, and it made your sister wail harder.

She'd lost one of the most important people in her life, and there was nothing she could do about it now.

After your sister regained control of her trembling hands, she pulled out of her parking spot and sped home.

You’d texted her earlier that one of your friends would drop you off because you were all getting ice cream, and she’d never been more grateful for someone having a car.

She pulled into the driveway and just sat there, thinking.

How the fuck did we get here, she thought. She wanted to light one up so fucking badly, but she would have to use her lighter that she left in her car for ‘emergencies’, as she called them.

She took a deep breath before opening her car door and walking onto the porch, unlocking the front door and going inside. Of course the universe, once again, had to prove its hatred for her: one of the first pictures on the glass decorative table had been one of her, all her friends, and you at her thirteenth birthday, her and Ellie in the middle hugging each other as hard as their small frames would allow.

It was silent.

Nobody was home.

And she allowed herself to break down with her back pressed against the front door.

You had a surprisingly good day!

Despite the small hiccup with your friends at the lunch table, you all committed to your usual after-school routine: eating your weight in Ben and Jerry’s! Of course, all three of you ended up jumping on Kris for wasting six dollars on a pint of vanilla ice cream, to which she defended the ‘most versatile and rich flavor! cry about it!’

After Arya dropped you off with a catcall and a scream of see ya tomorrow, sexy! you, with hands full of half-empty pints of Cherry Sangria, walked inside to find your sister laid out on the couch in a fetal position with a throw blanket over her, snoring gently. Her poor back!

You kicked your shoes off before jogging to the kitchen to put the pints into the freezer and head right back to the couch, gently coaxing your sister awake.

However, the more you looked at her face, the more you saw the distress, the dried tears, the photograph from her thirteenth clutched in her arms. You immediately began to worry when she stayed asleep.

You called out her name a little louder before she jolted awake, and as soon as she saw the concerned look on your face, she broke again. You barely had a chance to react before she sat up to throw her arms around you, sobbing into your neck. Your sister may have gotten emotional in front of you occasionally, but it was never like this. She could barely talk, and it scared you.

“What happened? Where's Ellie? Is she okay?” you asked frantically.

“S…she… I think she hates me now.” she barely whimpered out.

“Okay, just try to breathe, tell me what happened,” you said as calmly as you could, even though your heart was racing in your chest.

And she told you everything.

You had never been angrier in your life.

Your feelings were definitely hurt after your sister spilled the gory details of today, and you were sad after listening about what your sister had to endure alone, but you were so, so fucking heated.

After getting your sister tucked into bed, you immediately ran back downstairs the minute you heard her snore to put your shoes on and stomp down the road to the dreaded house. Ellie could be mad all she wanted, but making your sister cry was enough to make you see red.

The walk had been short and frantic and the second you reached the Miller porch; you banged on the door with all you had. Sorry, Joel.

Much to your… you didn’t even know what you felt when you saw Ellie (she had on sleep shorts and her strong arms and tattoo were exposed and oh god, stay fucking focused) open the door, but she immediately started pressing you about your disturbance.

“Dude what the fuck. Why are you knocking like you're a fucking cop?!”

“Where’s your dad?”

“…sleeping, why?”

“Get the hell out here! Right now, c’mon!” you said as aggressively as you muster. You didn't want to walk that sweet man up with your fussing.

Ellie was obviously shocked at your tone, but she came onto the porch anyway with a steady glare in her eyes. You held your own.

“Why did you yell at my sister today? Have you… fried all your fucking braincells or something? —

“First of fucking all, she yelled at me first, so don’t try it! Don’t try to act like you're so innocent and holier than thou either, this is just as much your fault as everyone else’s!”

“How is this my fault?!”

“Ask your sister! Or did she leave the ‘how obsessed you are with me’ part out?”

Pull it together, hold it hold it— You took a shuddering, but deep, breath.

“I’m not obsessed with you Ellie! Do you think I wanted any of this to happen, I couldn't help how I felt! It doesn’t excuse the fact that you took it out on her when all she ever did was care about you!”

She scoffed before running an agitated palm down her face before she dropped an unexpected bomb on you.

“I’m moving to Cali next month.”

And your mouth and throat never felt so dry.

“Don’t act like you care now. All you two wanted to do was blame me. It’s all my fault, right?” she pressed. You’d never felt so cornered. “Right?!” she repeated louder, making you flinch.

“Don’t fucking worry, neither of you have to see me again after this.”

“E…Ellie— “

“Fuck both of you honestly,” she said, and that was the final nail in your coffin. You could be buried right here if you wanted. Right at her feet where she crushed your heart.

She bumped your shoulder before going back inside, slamming the front door shut so hard, wind blew past you. You hated how you cried harder at the familiar, formerly comforting scent of pine.

You gasped out a breath… and gasped again and againandagain—

You couldn’t breathe or see, and your hand was grasping at your chest with the attempts of getting your heart to stop completely. You bent over to try to regain your breath, but it didn’t work, everything you learned was failing.

You stumbled off the cursed porch and teetered back onto the sidewalk but oh god you couldn’t think—

An all too familiar voice gasped your name, making you cry and gasp harder.

Dina. You heard her run up to you before putting a gentle hand on your back to help you straighten.

“Oh my god, shhhhh, c’mon honey, let’s get you back home okay?” she sounded so worried, and you felt a wave of guilt wash over you. Why do you keep doing this to people you care about?

Two weeks had passed since that night.

After Dina brought you back to your home, taking the key from your pocket and unlocking the door, your sister and her made eye contact for the first time in months.

Your sister had awoken to get some water to soothe her dry throat, grabbing her filled glass to sit on the couch and scroll through Twitter.

She almost shat herself when the front doorknob started jiggling. She damn near shattered her filled glass on the coffee table in front of her, slamming it down to stand and grab the metal baseball bat that your mother always had near the front door.

She hadn't moved fast enough, though, because the door shot open, revealing a pajama-clad Dina, guiding a panic-ridden you into the house.

Your sister was shocked at first, but the second she saw your tear-soaked face gasping for air, she instantly went into protective mode, rushing over to help you with your breathing exercises. Dina hadn’t moved to speak, but she wasn’t leaving, either: she wanted to ensure that you came down safely.

Neither Ellie, nor your sister, had told any of their friends about their turmoil, but they sensed something was off when they hadn’t seen the two of them in the same room together in a while. They never pressed out of respect for both girls, but to say that it hadn’t bothered them was simply untrue.

Once you came down, your sister mumbled a quiet thank you, to Dina, to which she replied with a gentle of course, honey, thick brows pulled down in concern, her own eyes glossy. Your sister walked her out with a grateful nod after taking you to your room to lay down.

This was the numbest you’d ever felt in your life. You hadn’t even cried since that night. You just…sat and looked. Looked and sat.

You had been spending the first few days of your Spring Break in your room with headphones in your ears, Rondo ringing in your ears. Niccolò, you sly dog. Your friends asked you if you wanted to go camping with them and their families, but you politely declined. You couldn’t fathom moving or talking or breathing. So you sat.

You had made some tough decisions, though. You were somewhat proud of yourself.

You, as well as your sister and then your mom (your sister hacked her Facebook, she didn’t notice), had blocked Ellie on everything.

No more grungy Instagram posts on your feeds, no more hotbox Snapchat stories, no more guitar-playing videos from IMessage. No more Ellie to plague your mind anymore.

You were so numb.

During early April, you and your sister drove by a U-Haul truck parked in front of the Miller residence after she picked you up from your violin lesson. Joel, Ellie, Dina, Jesse, and Cat were all outside on the lawn, goofing off as they carried boxes from the house and into the semi-loaded truck. You and your sister kept your gazes forward, eyes burning holes in the pavement under her car wheels.

Although neither of you said it, Ellie hugging Joel while he lifted her off the sidewalk was the last memory you and your sister had of her.

You were so, so numb.

A/N: yall ab to be like omg noooo don’t do thiss😦😦 girl i did it🤭🤭

praying i proofread enough please god like

but uhhhh yeah it might take a minute for the next part so pls be patient w me😗 but i’ve also been writing pretty quick so we’ll see ig but yeah writing sad shit 24/7 is hard but i love it so who cares :O anyway we’re about to get into the real tea next chap esp. w ellie :O i already started the outline and it’s already looking crazy just a warning😳 okay bye love uuuuu if you read this

pt. 3 here :D

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stellarboystyles · 1 month ago

Text

Chapter One

a/n: oops i'm so late posting this, but here she is y'all!!! i hope you enjoy <3

content/warnings: inappropriate language, cheating, the epitome of girlhood, shitty friends

“This was fucking stupid, Violet.”

“I know, I’m sorry. It’ll be okay! Just look up.” Her tone is more than chipper, carefully wiping away the mascara stained tears that are threatening Emerson’s bottom lashes.

You can’t really call it girlhood without consoling a drunk girl crying in the bathroom of a party at least once, can you? Bonus points if it’s your best friend who just got cheated on.

“Shay said he wasn’t gonna be here.”

“She should’ve kicked them out.” Violet reasons, dabbing the tissue at her friend’s under eyes. “She probably wasn't in the mood to deal with Izzy's bullshit.”

“Shay’s one of my best friends.” Emerson sobs. “She knows I’m fucking unstable right now.”

Violet couldn’t really argue with her. Two nights ago Violet and Shay

“I know.” Violet sighs. “Let’s go upstairs and watch a movie.”

The beat of the stereo could be felt inside her chest and heard in her ears as she opened the bathroom door, darkness accompanied by pink and purple LED’s filled her senses once again.

“Vi! C’mere.”

Her head turns to see the rest of her friends waving her over to them.

“Go in my room, you can pick whatever out of my closet. I’ll bring up some pizza.”

She ignores her friend's slight protest, hands on her shoulders guiding her to the upstairs doorway before turning back to her friends trying to get her attention.

“Is she tapping out?”

“I’m forcing her to.” Violet nods at Aly’s question, and the rest of her friends chime in.

“That bad?” Josie winces.

“Well, she’s devastated because Izzy brought Cole.” she answers, giving Shay a look.

“Oh, God.” Shay tilts her head to the ceiling in agony.

“Yeah, oh God.” Violet’s eyes widen. Not in shock, but in a you fucked up kind of way. “That bad.”

“I didn’t know she was bringing him!” Shay excuses, throwing up the hand that’s clutching her red cup. “I didn’t even know they were together.”

Violet tilts her head, squinting before responding.

“And when you saw she did, you didn’t tell them to leave, why?”

“I…I just panicked! I don’t like confrontation.”

Now, anyone who’s been around Shay for a measly five minutes knows that she’s not afraid to shut down anyone who looks at her or her friend’s sideways. There have been countless times she’s gotten in a girl’s face for giving attitude or making a shitty comment, so for her to say that she just ‘didn’t want to start anything’ over her best friend’s ex of three years bringing a girl to a party a few days after the break up, is a bold faced lie.

Aly snorts in reply. “You’re like, the queen of confrontation.”

Thank you.

“Yeah, I call bullshit.”

“Sounds like a lame excuse.” Josie shrugs, hiding behind a sip of her own cup.

And there comes a point in a lie, when you feel so cornered that you have to come clean, no matter how bad the truth sounds, or is. Ripping the band-aid off, biting the bullet.

“Izzy made dance captain at M State, and—”

“Oh. My. God.”

“Are you serious, Shay?”

“Listen, this is my future! If I piss her off I’d be on the outs for my entire freshman year.”

Violet scoffs, shaking her head at her friend’s selfish motives.

“It’s not that serious.”

“You making a stupid dance team isn’t that serious.” Aly snaps. “What’s actually a big deal is Emerson being not only heartbroken by her boyfriend of 3 years dumping her for another girl, but betrayed by her best friend.”

“Over a dance team.” Violet adds.

“Oh, shit.”

“What?” Violet and Josie ask simultaneously, looking in the direction that Aly is gaping in.

“That’s Harry.”

“What?”

“Harry’s here.”

“Huh?” Violet turns her head, her hair falling behind her left shoulder.

“Harry Styles?” Josie emphasizes. “As in beat the shit out of James’ boyfriend at Nichole’s birthday?”

“Yup.” Aly nods. “That one.”

Alexa, play Do I Wanna Know? By Arctic Monkeys, because damn.

“He’s cute.”

“Cute?” Aly raises an eyebrow. “Josie. Puppies are cute, that guy is melting my sunglasses.”

“You’re not wearing sunglasses.” Josie laughs.

She should be, because this boy was gorgeous. Like, beyond the standards of conventionally attractiveness, he could make some of the hottest supermodels nervous, gorgeous. The short sleeves of his shirt were rolled up once or twice showing off his biceps. He was tanned and toned, looking good in all the right places.

“If you’re gonna stare at him you should probably try to hide it.”

Violet rolls her eyes at Aly’s snarky comment.

“Yeah, why don’t you be a little less discreet about that.”

“Oh, shut up.” Violet groans, rolling her eyes at her friend’s laughter before hiding behind her plastic cup, taking the last sip of booze inside. “I wasn’t looking at him.”

“Yeah, and it never rains in fucking Seattle.” Aly rolls her eyes. “You have the worst poker face.”

When did she get such shitty friends?

“I wasn’t trying.”

“You’ve probably scared him off by now, honestly—”

“I think you’re drooling, Vi.”

“Ohmygod.” Violet gives them both a look. “If you don’t shut up—”

“She’s so cute when she’s angry, isn’t she?” Shay laughs.

“Yeah, well I’m about to get real fucking adorable.”

“Girl fight!”

“Guys!” a couple of Shay’s friends run in from the back door. “Cassidy and Summer are fighting in the backyard.”

“Oh, fuck me.” Shay rolls her eyes and follows them.

“You guys suck.” Violet nods in confirmation of her own insanity. “Okay? I’m getting pizza.”

Violet will forever and always be a just-cheese girly. So when she lifted the first lid to an empty box, saying she was disappointed would be an understatement.

“Vi, can we talk?”

Her head turns to see the one person who wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Cole.” Violet observes. “Or should I say…cheater?”

He sighs. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“Hmm…okay. Traitor? Degenerate? Should I go on?”

“C’mon, Vi. Just, just hear me out for one second.”

“Why’re you even here?” her hand gingerly pushes him back. “Go home, Cole.”

“Vi. You have to listen to me.”

“My best friend is in my bedroom crying because of you.” she snaps. “So i know it’s a shock, but I don’t care what you have to say.”

“Just hear me out—”

“I think she politely told you to fuck off.”

Violet’s vision slid up to the source of the voice in question, realising it belonged to the boy in question.

Because, of course it did.

“Now get out of her face before I lay you out in front of a girl.”

#harry styles #harry styles fluff #harry styles fic #boxer!harry #harry styles series

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bitkahuna · 17 days ago

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“Blaise Zabini?” Ron asked in a harsh whisper. “Mate, why?”

Hermione soon made her way through the fleeting crowd of girls to join him. “Please tell me there was a good reason.”

“Zabini doesn’t care about the war. Not like they do. Not like we do. He just wants to survive.”

"Of course he does, he's a Slytherin!" Ron interjected, his voice tinged with disbelief. "And not just any Slytherin, his mum's been through husbands like she’s browsing shoes."

Harry suppressed a sigh; this was exactly the reaction he had anticipated but hoped to avoid. "That’s exactly why he’s perfect." He urged, his voice low and earnest. "Zabini is only interested in surviving this mess. He stays neutral because picking a side is a huge risk to him."

Hermione gave a slow nod, trying her best to understand. “Is this a smart move?”

-----

“One, what happens here stays here. This party never happened! Two, no violence. You fight, you’re done. You duel, you’re done. You break anything, you’re done. Three, keep your filthy hands to yourselves until you’re out of sight. Four, do not be a dick! And I will be the judge, jury, and executioner of what rule four means. Now, welcome to Beauxbatons!”

-----

Harry didn’t trust a damn thing coming out of the other boy’s mouth. He was supposed to practically be Draco’s boyfriend, even if only a distraction, according to Blaise, and yet he’d spent all of the Yule Ball stealing people’s dates and not talking to Draco once. And now he was chatting up the lad he knew Draco hated the most.

-----

“I’m probably going to end up dead.”

“Shut up, Potter.” Draco managed to speak his name without making it sound like poison. He sounded just as tired as Harry.

“I’m not wrong.” He pointed out with a bitter laugh. But he really, really didn’t want to stop kissing the other boy. “This is shit coping.”

“Is that why you’re whoring around, snogging everyone?”

“Of course it is!” He nearly shouted as if it should be obvious. Harry leaned his head back against the tree, taking a deep breath. “I have no idea how this Tournament is going to end.”

-----

“Easy now.” Harry managed a chuckle, trying to regain his composure while pushing away the gnawing guilt at enjoying the attention. He was aware of how superficial it all was, but he couldn’t help himself. They didn’t like him. They liked what he represented; his status and the rumors. But it made him feel good.

The Durmstrang girl only shrugged. “Not everyone can say they kissed a champion.”

Harry felt wanted.

Some kisses were lingering and soft, others sweet and shy, and a few were quite bold. Why not try and lay claim on having a moment with The Boy Who Lived, Hogwarts’ Champion? For some, it was a dream come true; for others, a fleeting chance at his fame and glory. But they would never forget it. Neither would he.

Harry felt slightly overwhelmed and his stomach churned a bit. But he liked it. Even if it was meaningless, it meant the world to him. The girls passed him around like a candy bar they all wanted a bite of. A fleeting kiss and he was passed on to the next while the girls bragged that they got to kiss him, talking about him as if he wasn’t even there.

-----

“Go on, then. I know there’s a password.”

Draco rolled his eyes, playful, but a bit disappointed. “Pureblood.” And the entrance revealed itself.

Harry nearly scoffed at how stupid the password was. “Goodnight, Draco.” He insisted, letting the boy go.

The blond looked bewildered as he stood there, a hand on the wall to steady himself. “What did you call me?”

He blinked before his lips parted in shock. He hadn’t even realized he called the other boy by his first name. “I don’t know why I did that.”

“Say it again.”

The entrance to the common room closed.

-----

Chapter 24 of Scion just posted!!! There was an afterparty after the Yule Ball, right? Right?? Oops.

#drarry fanfic #drarry excerpt #drarry #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter #harry/draco #harry x draco #draco x harry #draco malfoy #fanfiction #fanfic #ao3fic

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weaverpop · 2 months ago

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Can I offer a situation?

One of mk's ex's has been harassing him

I would think mk would of apologized to the partners that broke things off cause of how he was acting in the past and for most they forgave him. But there could always be the one who didn't want to forgive or acknowledge his sincere efforts to grow. And then theres of course the ones from relationships where the partner was the problem.

Said ex more maybe two got bitter seeing him happy in a new relationship and with a prince no less, and they start spamming him with abusive messages from a variety of different accounts.

Mk is of course alarmed and pretty distressed but doesn't want to alarm nezha so he does his best to hide it. But it quickly goes from abusive language and attacking his insecurities to straight up threatening to bash him publicly as an abusive partner; sighting his past problematic behavior with some exaggerating details and even straight up making crap up.

It sends mk into an intense depressive episode because he's starting to believe and misremember details. He wants to tell nezha but wants to try to resolve it first and goes to mei first since she's scary good when it comes to find ppl via social media sleuthing skills.

Nezha ends up find out anyway though because the ex got bold and decided to uphold there threat and contacted him directly.

Oh man, why you gotta hurt my heart anon?! (Tw angst, sensitive topics, and bad languages)

Poor Mk. I would imagine this happening early on in the therapy era, where Mk and Nezha are still struggling to get their feet back under them and establish a new (more healthy) normal. Mk be trying to just live his life, until said ex’s contact him. I don’t think it would be the ones where Mk was the toxic one, those are the ones who generally just want to move on. But one of HIS bad exes would def do something drastic.

They would see him rise in the public view already (hero stuff), so to see him so open and public with Nezha, a PRINCE, has them seething. Messaging, spamming, the works. MK’s mental health would take a big hit, and he actually talks either Sandy in therapy about it first.

Sandy is the one to suggest going to Mei, and def about telling the others just in case. Mk does, but wants to maybe tell Nezha after the whole things blown over so as not to worry him. Until said exes contact Nezha.

Nezha, of course, ain’t buying shit. In fact, it only serves to piss him off. Nobody in the mortal realm was really aware of the JE’s passing until Nezha decides to find these exes. You know why they find out?

Because Nezha has them dragged into the streets via guards, and publicly demands to know why they would dare threaten the lover of the next Jade emperor (aka him). Mei has all the evidence against the two, and the mortal police have to beg the prince not to cause an international crisis. The two exes have, at this point, realized the grave miscalculation they’ve made and are panicking just a a tad.

Thankfully Mk shows up and convinces Nezha to let the police handle it. The exes are arrested, and reporters and paparazzi catch Mk soothing Nezha’s anger. Their approval ratings in the public eye EXPLODES after this.

Of course it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Mk still gets stuck it a bit of a rut because of them, and while no other exes have come forth after Nezha’s public display, it doesn’t stop the paranoia. Poor baby’s got a date with more therapy after this. But at least things are smooth sailing right? Not like Nezha’s got any exes to dig up.

Oops, did I say that? I meant Ao Bing has an absolute fit. :)

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marionluth · 5 months ago

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Work 3 of "In Their Defense" series is up 🤘

“How about leaving some of them alive?” Jessica yelled at Red Hood through the chaos.

“I’ve only killed five,” Red Hood deadpaned. “Oops. Make that six. But you can fucking bet, I'm gonna end you if you try to take the stuff!”

“Bold of you to assume you can kill me,” Jessica snarled, driving her fist into an assailant’s jaw. “I’ll fuse your helmet to your face before you can even think of reaching for those crates!”

Red Hood studied her fighting style from the corner of his eye, as he was busy stabbing his attackers. She was strong and more of a brawler than a strategic fighter. Every now and then he noticed a more sophisticated kick or throw, which indicated she had some sort of training, but mostly she just beat up the goons street-style. And he fucking liked it.

Turning to point the knife in her direction, Red Hood closed the distance between them menacingly. “Who are you working for?”

Jessica kicked his wrist with measured force, resisting the urge to break it. He was useful for now. His knife flew right out of his grip. “Who are you working for?” She asked.

“Nobody! I’m Red Hood! People are working for me,” he ground out, landing three consecutive punches to her ribs that made her wince and groan, but didn’t particularly affect her. Red Hood was impressed. These should have broken ribs.

Turning her attention to a goon coming at her from behind as another attempted to tackle her from the side, Jessica fought them off, attention split between them and Red Hood. “So, you want this shit for yourself? To sell it, make money, kill half the city?”

With the goons beaten to a pulp, she turned to fully face him again and landed a punch to his stomach, causing him to double over and grunt in pain.

“What the fuck are you on about?” He shot up, landing a hard punch to her jaw packing his full force. It looked like it jarred her a bit. Red Hood was annoyed he couldn’t overpower her and at the same time savored the challenge. “This shit is Black Mask’s! He’s my number one enemy. I’m here to destroy it!”

Jessica’s fist, drawn back ready to fly to his helmet-covered face, froze. She looked at him annoyedly. “I’m here to destroy it, too!”

Red Hood stood still, staring at her. “You don’t wanna steal it to sell it?”

“Do I strike you as a fucking drug dealer, Red?” Jessica snapped.

“You really want me to answer that?” Catching some movement behind him, he took a grenade out of a holster and threw it in that general direction without breaking eye contact with Jessica.

An explosion. A howl of pain.

“Seriously?” Jessica asked him, gesturing to the three men he blasted.

“What? Close-quarters grens. They’ll live!”

“So I am to really buy that the severed-heads-in-a-duffel villain is not here to steal the drugs and distribute them himself?” Jessica asked, eyes scanning the space around her, slightly panting.

“Whose heads do you think I had in the duffel? Black Mask’s lieutenants! I’m here to cost the fucker a few million dollars and send a message through his battered goons!”

“Well, so am I!” Jessica informed him accusingly. “And you got in my fucking way!”

“You got in my fucking way!”

“Are you bulletproof?” Jessica asked.

Red hood blinked under the helmet. “What?”

Rolling her eyes she lunged at him, taking him down with her, as Scar shot at them with the M16 he had snatched from the unconscious goon Red Hood had taken down earlier.

Laying on top of him, face inches from his helmet, Jessica smirked. “You alright, princess?”

Check it out here! I'd be thrilled if you left a comment and even more thrilled if you enjoyed it enough to hit reblog 😊

#jason todd #jessica jones #dc #red hood #mcu #batman #Jason Todd/Jessica Jones #rivals to lovers #eventually #mcu crossover #dc crossover

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ofandrastes · 29 days ago

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LET'S GET REACQUAINTED ! hey rpc ! lets be honest, datv brought us all back in one way or another either you're a veteran or new, i'm sure there is stuff that has changed or we don't know each other so let's have a game about it to reintroduce each other ! repost this to do the same & tag some pals if you want !

Name / Penname: Ray for veterans, did you go by something previously ? name &/or penname: nope, always just Ray age & gender ( if comfortable sharing ): 28, female what was your first dragon age muse: Does all of them count? Ha! I guess I would say Maverick though, but he was originally a BG3 muse that I converted over for the DA setting when I started this blog up again. do you have any other darp muses / blogs: Nope, this is my first. what muses / blogs do you have outside of darp: My personal blog is @sambergcrs and tbh I am so inactive on that it's not even funny. It's my general musing & gif making blog because I've spent the last like 12 years or so doing rp groups. I only made my indie last year when BG3 came out and I was ITCHING to write in that universe!! So now I'm here, took a bit of a break over the last like 5 months because of a new job, but I'm back with my Dragon Age obsession reignited (even though I have not finished Veilguard...oops). thedas has two moons: I am unfortunately TERRIBLE at keeping track of lore so truly Bioware I feel you.

single line, para, or novella: Para/Novella. I don't mind what other people do but I am incapable of shortening replies half the time. SORRY. plotting or winging it: I am fine with both but I find I typically reply a lot faster and become more engaged in threads where we've plotted things out. Winging it with memes, starter calls and such are a great way to gauge chemistry and can serve super well as a jumping off point, though. fighting threads, you bold enough for them? They scare me truthfully but I could be down! My writing style is very...internalized as far as my characters go. I can dive into their psyches and write about why they do and feel the things they do and feel all day. So, admittedly I wouldn't say I'm super comfortable with them BUT I am more than willing to as long as we plot something out in detail & my partner is patient with me. what content warnings are on your blog?: Very few, just a general NSFW content may be present. I can always add more, but in general it's just possible smeggsual content and possible violence/gore. what things do you need tagged for your comfort?: I truly don't need anything tagged for my own purposes, but if that changes I will update my rules & let my writing partners know..

shipping preferences: single | multi | no ship | polyship. Wrote up a rule about this earlier this week! I am very versatile, happy to pair my muses up for multiple ships, but when it comes to canon characters I impose a limit. For example, I probably won't ship with more than one or two, say, Fenris' (FYI, I currently don't have any wink wink) because I find coming up with so many different dynamics between multiple portrayals a bit tiring, personally. Also, if my partners have rules I will typically follow them. But! Overall, I'm a ship fiend. Happy to discuss anything and everything. Also, would love more polyship opportunities. shipping boundaries: See above regarding canon characters, but I don't have too many hard boundaries right off the bat. Nothing generally inappropriate, obviously, or outright problematic. I'll always be open to ideas but will enforce my boundaries when they come up, and I hope others will feel comfortable to do the same.

fun facts about yourself that may have changed since in the past ten years( when inquisition dropped )-- damn I mean I graduated high school and college and then went into the working world, got married, moved a bunch, bought a house. It's certainly been a hard journey, especially the past few years or so in dealing with some of my husband's health struggled, but overall it's wild to see how much growth I've had and see how long these games have endured the test of time.

be honest, did you miss darp. come on now: I have never been a part of this community before, but I love it. I've had a great time & I can't wait to interact with more people!

challenge round! put a small top five things unrelated to dragon age ! - i have a 9 year old pitbull/corgi mix named dingo, and a 2 year old tuxedo cat named suki. i would do terrible things for them - i have a degree in television production but now i market forklifts for a living LMAO - hot rod is the greatest movie ever made - diet pepsi is superior to diet coke dont even @ me - go birds!!!!!

tagged by: @alitlantern & @onlyinthedas & i think more a while ago i am SORRY IM SLOW

tagging: you!! bc i cant keep up with who did this already and im shy!!

#ooc; ray says #( this took ages for some reason my god )

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prettysymbiosis · 2 years ago

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I’ve been trying to get these thoughts out for days but basically I feel like the unifying theory of s16 (as I see it) is a conscious exploration of the dichotomy between sunny as a classically bold and brash pee pee poo poo comedy and sunny as a thoughtful, nuanced and subtle show about flawed people and also about itself, at times (by that I mean the meta isn’t always about macdennis or the other characters but about sunny itself - win an award, clip show, big mo, etc). the trailer actually captures this dichotomy well through the dialogue clips and animations, as well as the pinned comment which said “get ready for a whole lot of subtlety.” it’s still so baffling to me that sunny can simultaneously read as one of the most loud, obnoxious, unsubtle shows ever on television, OR it can be so subtle and allegorical in the writing of later seasons that most viewers would think people like us are crazy for reading so much into it even though we’re really not. this kind of self-reflective flavor is another product of the rewatch/podcast project which has been almost universally agreed to have had a very positive effect on the writing.

anyway having said that, I want to just share my notes on the first two episodes without trying to edit them too much. I’m bolding the points that I personally haven’t seen anyone else mention yet and putting a 😎 next to ones that evoke a Classic Sunny VibeTM because that’s important to the experiment of this season.

the gang inflates

macden fun/domestic/DUMB again 😎

something something never committing to the couch when it was absurd not to and it ended up costing them so much macdennis blah blah

dennis hanging up on dee was so funny to me oops 😎

and the WHOLE dee (as a character and specifically the female character) thing about being minimized to an absurd degree. I like to think the bog was a turning point for dee and the show is gonna do better by her now hopefully by recognizing her plight in a more serious way, like the way the guys have been doing?

are mac and dennis…… you know…… like for real??? as many have said, it could totally be revealed kind of retroactively to undercut the shock and be like “honestly we’re surprised you didn’t notice sooner” I feel like that is something rcg would do. suggestive clues:

“I don’t wanna talk to you about–” “a TON”

or is dennis like well that’s news to me jealous vibes??

“I figured you were man” ??

“I’m getting a little concerned about our nut”

“you truly have no reason to be sleeping with frank”

they specifically put a lil reaction shot of dennis after mac says “that’s a lotta blowin” a la the lil grin in gets romantic and, well, I just think that’s a choice that was made

“it’s not homophobic” is that so?????

when mac is like “you think we got rid of our furniture too soon/that the business plan won’t work” it’s kinda like no it’s not the committing to what they have, it’s that mac still has big denial problems and dennis can’t work with that… maybe? but so does dennis tbh

in a show-meta sense it’s like, we should be less worried about whether the gay gay-ass love story will alienate people and more worried about how these characters are too ridiculous to even let the love story play out effectively. they need mental health days if we are ever to have nice things

it’s possible mac denying his reaction to the allergy has to do with his body dysmorphia?

also it occurred to me that maybe part of why rob is clean-shaven this season is so they could do those prosthetics more easily?

those handprints though…. I hate everything

oh also just the bed scene. its existence

the zoomed in neck touch of course

“I’m not going to do it!” “..okay” dennis keepin his cool :)

mac’s shirt! COOLER HEADS PREVAIL

just the sheer silliness of inflatable furniture - is there some metaphor here lol?

in a general sense could inflates be taken to mean flanderizes? also maybe it’s just implied but I noticed I hadn’t actually seen anyone mention inflation as a sexual kink and like, that was part of the intention right? if so, 😎

charlie “uhhhhhhhh… yep.” poor charlie :( he doesn’t want to live in a maze (like a rat)

“well then you’re just like being a predator” :( so here for charlie calling out bullshit with frank and mrs. mac and even his own mom so far in these first two eps

charlie just giving up and yelling in frustration which is kinda what bonnie does in ep2 (and ep3 based on trailer)

the gross horny male objectifying thing 😎

rob put his whole pussy into this episode

charlie saying “I don’t get why he doesn’t take me seriously” and dee saying “that’s gotta be maddening” 🙃

cats in the alley my loves 😎

gluing dee a pillow on the wall <3

“consider it an offering” “of war??” this says so much. must everything be a conflict?

charlie’s hair looks so crazy and good in the sleepover scene and also he’s so smart

charlie asks frank to “return everything to the status quo” by the end of the episode, sitcom style. full reset, no progression. except charlie is asking that frank not endlessly take advantage of the fact that mac and den can’t figure their shit out, not totally push dee out just because it’s easy, not make light of the trauma charlie has from what happened to him. all that stuff IS the status quo! so what is he really asking for? this is one of the bits of writing that I think is also about the show as a show, and how they’ve approached these dynamics forever.

it’s funny that people are saying this season is such a return to form because it is, but it’s also so much more self-aware of what that form is/was and how deeper elements can coexist within it. they’re really walking with a foot in both worlds here and they’re doing it well. love this for them and for us, the people who know what it’s always sunny in philadelphia is REALLY about

“we’ll take you to the hospital, and they’ll have nuts. and you can– you can die there.” hahahah

#sunny #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #S16 #sunny meta #s16 meta #s16 e1 #the gang inflates #macdennis #charlie #dee #I hate this show bc every time I'm like whoa this writing is so complex and then I immediately feel ridiculous for thinking that #even though I KNOW I'm right and you guys get it too..... I still feel like a tinhat :( I blame misogyny #well I'm exhausted goodnight

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girlreviews · 10 months ago

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Review #184: She’s So Unusual, Cyndi Lauper

You’re receiving a fair warning right at the outset: there are going to be no less than two references to The Simpsons in this review – possibly more -- and I’m not even a little bit sorry about it.

I think that Cyndi Lauper is one of the very first female artists I ever knew the name of and recognized, and knew her record from start to finish. I don’t think it was this one. I believe it was a compilation CD called Twelve Deadly Cyns… And Then Some, that had a really striking image of her with bright yellow hair and a bright red hat. It had all of the major hits from this album, and the next few, as well as the most interesting remix of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun that was done by the guys from Redbone, and was very much my first introduction to the bassline from Come And Get Your Love. That shit worked.

Anyway, I wish that every three-year-old girl got to hear Cyndi Lauper like this because she’s fucking iconic. Powerhouse voice. Uninhibited. Artist. Creative genius. A girl’s girl and a woman’s woman. I’d love to get drunk with her and play a round of cards. I bet she’s been treated like a child while navigating this industry. I just feel it in my bones and guts. Because of the earnest, girlish, sincere, whimsical music she’s making, as well as her unapologetic cute and girly aesthetic and small frame. But she’s always demanded to be taken seriously. She’s the inspiration I’ve carried around as an experienced professional in my field: I can have a bubble tea pencil case with a smiley face on it, and cute stationary, and a notepad with a bird on it, and a cute haircut and fun outfits. It doesn’t mean I’m childish, or any less good at my job, and I will rip you a new asshole if you fucking cross me or any of my employees, cool? Do not be fooled by the enamel pins on my jacket. I could stab you with them if I wanted. I just don’t, that’s all.

My notes: Money Changes Everything, which it does, has a harmonica solo in it, and I think we all need to take a moment and bow down to the boldness of that. How many harmonica solos do we hear outside something like Bob Dylan? It’s pretty few and far between and it’s really fucking great in this song. Every single track on this album is deep, fun, and interesting. And some of them have harmonica solos! When I was a doofy little teen, I used to have a necklace with a tiny harmonica on it. It was ugly as could be, but it was pretty cool. I recently started looking into whether there were any cute, adult versions of it. There are. And I am once again inspired by Saint Cyndi to be cute, functional, and badass.

I’m going to save Girls Just Wanna Have Fun for last because I have so much to say about it. So next up will be Time After Time, which to be honest is every bit as iconic. Genuinely. It’s absolutely beautiful. Stunning. Moving. How does one write a song so incredibly poignant and dedicated to someone? Can anybody listen to this synth ballad and not just feel their heart plunge into it? Maybe they can. Maybe they’re a monster. Not a Simpsons reference, but to illustrate my point: even April Ludgate, known to be cold-hearted and dead inside, can’t resist the pull of this song.

She Bop is one of my favorites. I think I loved it when I was really tiny. It makes sense that I would have. I loved nonsense. I still love nonsense. It’s a lot of nonsense (Oop, she bop, she bop, she bop, he bop, we bop, I bop, you bop, they bop, be bop, a lu bop), but it’s positioned over some very serious-sounding synths and electric drums. That’s my exact shit and always has been. There’s a good chance Cyndi Lauper and this song are largely responsible for my entire persona, in hindsight. That’s fine with me. I think this song is about bad boys and having crushes on them (hey, hey they say I better get a chaperone, because I can’t stop messin’ with the danger zone). Cyndi Lauper has always been completely about her uninhibited noises. Woops, and breaths, and squeaks, and squawks. They’re amazing, and they add absolutely everything to the experience. Simpsons reference #1 coming up here. They made it the butt of the joke, but I loved it. Cyndi Laupi (yes, Laupi), singing the National Anthem at a baseball game, with all that breathy, squeaky, baritone nonsense. Absolutely fucking hilarious. Also the way in which I mostly learned the words to the National Anthem (you try knowing it when you grew up in Europe? I do not accept your judgment, and frankly I’m still pretty shaky on the words and I don’t care).

Every track on this album slaps, and you should listen to it, but it is one of those where you kind of have to focus on the singles/iconic tracks because they are iconic for a reason. So here we go. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. I want to say that this song is so happy and upbeat and means everything to every girl and woman that knows it, which, is like, all of them, ever, and if it isn’t, it should be. However. There’s also a sad undertone to it, or at least I have always felt one. It’s always just tugged at my heart a little bit. I actually have no idea whether that’s just me or whether that’s a universal experience. It’s like a gentle feminist wish. She’s singing about oppressive experiences — from parents, from partners, from society:

“Oh Mama dear, we’re not the fortunate ones”

“Oh Daddy dear, you know you’re still number one”

“Some boys take a beautiful girl, and hide her away from the rest of the world”

It genuinely hurts my feelings. I’m not sure a song has ever so captured the simplicity of experience. Just trying to exist. Just trying to walk in the sun. Just trying to go home and chill after work, and for some reason, it’s just hard to do. But, in singing it, she’s fulfilling the wish, because she’s having fucking fun. It’s fun. I don’t know man, that’s really cool. I love this song. But it’s way deeper than I imagine a lot of people have ever given her credit for. I imagine to a lot of people, it’s just a silly little party song. But it’s not. And if you want to fight with me about that, I’ll get my cute enamel pins ready. Here’s Homer Simpson singing it, which I have always found extremely endearing. Do you think it’s lost on him? Probably. That’s sort of what’s endearing about it.

#album review #music #music review #rolling stone top 500 #cyndi lauper #she’s so unusual #the simpsons #parks and rec

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blackstarchanx3new · 1 year ago

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FSR Rambles 10 fingers in the aaaaa-

I don't let up on the fucking Vidow. The entire fandom has to just cope with the fact I'm a disastrous weirdo stinking up their perfect pure fandom, they cry themselves to sleep at the cryptid that stalks at the edges their fandom.

Weep you disgusting filthy bastards.

I bet you salivate at the idea of Vio's breast milk in your slutty coffee.

Lol I guess he fell asleep reading.

Shadow makes a very sinister face considering the goofy ass thing he decides to do with the sleeping Vio.

Hah. Vio screaming his lungs out got a kick out of me while drawing.

Shadow forgot Hylian's sleep for a reason.

He's just waiting for Vio to call him a moron, which we know again is because of Vaati and Gannon abusing this poor man.

Shadow's utterly shocked Vio doesn't have a single thing to berate him over hah.

Vio's so tired he just wants to sleep.

Shadow's feeling nervous to actually like, get cozy with Vio in this context.

Despite his seeming confidence the dude is insecure.

He is HESITANT to trust Vio to some degree, he's having second thoughts about his actions.

Vio didn't even SAY anything about the kiss lmfao. I'd be worried too.

This page is so sad to me.

Vio's feeling some regret while Shadow gets comfortable next to him.

HAHAHAHA.

Transition from being next to someone to being completely alone agh-

Shadow Link is in MISSERY-

Oof. Shit hurts.

The sword blast compiled with his emotional pain is just too much for this dude to handle rn.

Reflecting on his time with his "friend"

Guess that kiss in the library wasn't the last one...Vio seems reluctant to keep going back for more, pushing shadow off. We can assume why he shouldn't be doing that oops.

Shadow's not satisfied with that though and keeps giving our man kisses. Vio's really shitty attempts to bat him away aren't working.

It's safe to say: Vio lost the plot at some point.

It's obvious they're drunk as fuck, but the exact timing of this scene is up for interpretation as far as I'm concerned.

I do find it funny Shadow whines Vio is "So mean to him" just cause he won't let him shower him with kisses lmfao. Like Shadow he's about to do smth to you that's way meaner let's be real-

Shadow Link brings up the all to important LORE of the golden goddesses.

Okay but everything about this becomes ironic later lmfao I will not say how.

Cause the Triforce is like, non existent in FS I can do whatever the hell I want sooo I'mma cook. I like where I took it a lot.

Shadow's desires to touch the Triforce are uh...VERY EXPLAINED LATER to say the least.

Art wise in this page: Oh it was so fun.

1st panel: Shadow continuing to kiss Vio's cheeks as he talks. It's sweet in it's own weird way that he clearly cares about Vio a lot

2nd panel: Obviously comparing Vio with a goddess and the Triforce shows how much Shadow values this man in his life, cupping his cheeks while doing so.

3rd panel: They both just look cute. XD

4rth panel: Vio's visibly hesitant to return the kiss that time. and in the last panel we don't see his face, but rather get Shadow hugging him deeply.

Vio's still grappling with his actions are gonna catch up to both of them pretty soon.

Vio's utter heartlessness in the words he spoke to Shadow in the Fire temple must have HURT.

Shadow knows that he bold faced lied to everyone in that room.

Also to note: They CLEARLY spent some TIME together, as there's the scene of Vio and Shadow laughing together on some grass somewhere...

Shadow KNOWS Vio at least a little and he can't comprehend why he acted the way he did.

The last panel was so much fun I love how it turned out.

Okay but like: THIS LTIERALLY ALWAYS BOTHERED ME.

The idea Shadow betrayed Vaati being a fault of SHADOW'S character is such bullshit which just adds to the "Vio pulled this out of his ass" nature of his speech.

In every way: SHADOW BETRAYING VAATI IS A GOOD THING.

In WHAT WORLD is him turning his back on the EVIL GUY a bad thing???

His motives were 100% selfish but HOLY BALLS HE WAS WILLING TO GO NUCULAR ON GANON AND VATTI AND SAVE ZELDA FOR SOME VIUSSY. THAT'S DEDICATION.

Also, literally everyone's motivations for everything they do is selfish in nature, so the idea Shadow's the dick here is just, hysterical.

Vio was 100% projecting his own insecurities onto Shadow not trusting and being apart of his own team cause Vio's awful, cause let's be real: their situations are just NOT COMPARABLE.

Shadow's misstep no matter how you look at it, was trusting VIO. NOT betraying Vaati. HIS LITERAL POSITIVE CHARACTER ARC WAS STILL BETRAYING VAATI BY SHATTERING THE DARK MIRROR.

...SO WTF IS VIO'S SPEECH ABOUT EXACTLY??? IT LITERALLY MAKES NO SENSE PROBEBLY BECAUSE HE'S LYING HIS ASS OFF AND PROJECTING LMFAO.

Because his point wasn't "Find a team you CAN and DO trust and work with them." it was "You betrayed Vaati and you suck for that."

IT WAS PURE PROJECTION.

Idk if this is a translation oopsie or what. It was never brought UP so idk if it was even intentional or a genuine attempt at a moral going to shit and getting botched. X'DDDD (If it was intentional, that's funny but it was never expanded upon in any meaningful way so...IDK)

It gives weird as fuck mixed messages about what Shadow was MEANT to do here and what he ACTUALLY did wrong from Vio's chastising. Cause the reason Vio gives for his downfall is REALLY BULLSHIT. (In FSR, Intentionally so.)

Because

"Your downfall was that you were selfish and still wanted to rule the world and were willing to use used people like me and Zelda to do it, you just repeated the mistakes of Vaati" or smth would even be more accurate.

STILL HYPOCRITCAL ON VIO'S END CAUSE HE USED SHADOW BUT WOULD MAKE MORE FUCKING SENSE.

Giving massive rebound AU vibes here lmfao.

Audience is intentionally left in the dark about wtf Vio and Green were talking about...For no reason I'm sure. Authors don't think that hard about stuff-

Also left out on why they're sharing a bed. Bet that will NEVER get touched on. In ANY meaningful way.

The point of this scene is pretty obvious: Vio IS getting along with his team now. Which mega hurts Shadow to see ouch.

It's the equivalent of that Squidward meme of him in his house while Spongebob and Patrick run outside-

Green essentially has taken his place. Pain. We all know nothing but PAIN.

Shadow can't bare to watch Vio thrive without him cause he's selfish as fuck. X'D Just hurts too much. He wanted Vio to fill the gaps in his life and it just DIDN'T happen.

Haha you read the manga you recognize this. I don't gotta elaborate much.

I always just, am in love with Shadow turning into VIO of all people during this part in the story because, holy BALLS I can't even really describe the kind of itch that scratches in my brain but I will try.

So in FS, we KNOW Shadow can shapeshift into ANY of the Links, but he chose Vio. Dude has been Green/Link before so...WHY NOT GREEN? Uh simple: Bro adores Vio and looks up to him, that's the reasoning I came to anyway, as explained in these pages.

This is why in FSR in the library Shadow Link specifically describes Vio as "his hero". Vio's the one out of the four he looks up to most, because after reflecting Vio is the one that did the most "Heroic" things in his eyes.

He realized the betrayal wasn't out of malice or to hurt him, but to save Zelda.

The reasons Vio gives in the library for why he's utterly awful as a person are the same things that made Shadow respect his ass for what he put himself through lmfao.

This is also why in FSR dude isn't MAD at Vio for it anymore. He just wants to repair what they DID have there between them because bro adores Vio.

So if yall didn't know Shadow uses the mirror to see Vio.

Like, you can see him in the shattered mirror lmfao.

At least I THINK it's meant to be Vio. When I first read the manga I thought it was Shadow Link. XDDDD But now I'm fairly certain it is Vio. If we ever get a full color manga I'd love to know who it's actually meant to be.

Shadow's sad he won't know if Zelda's okay. Which is sad. And wishes he could see Vio, which is why the mirror SHOWS Vio. Lol.

Sad pathetic Vaati being hilarious aside, Vio being so distraught he drops his sword is kinda funny. And here's the retcon of "Vaati didn't die actually.

I already went on the rant in the actual thing that YES Shadow's death still meant smth despite Vaati living, because they wouldn't be able to beat Gannon without the gems Vaati gave up from this, so I won't repeat myself here.

Blue's "HOLD UR HORSES BITCH" is so funny to me because like, he HAS no emotional attachment to Shadow and the last they saw of HIM was him ya know, trying to kills their friend lmfao.

Vio pulling a very dying Shadow into his arms, because we deserved that. Green picks up Vio's sword cause he's cool like that.

Vio is OBVIOUSLY trying very hard to keep it together here, kept the dialogue MOSTLY the same from the OG because the dialogue wasn't the issue to me it was the freaking SHOT LAYOUTS AND THE ART. The art was well drawn but the actual like, things happening were kinda silly imo.

I particularly like the return of the "Shadow pets Vio's face/hair" motif.

It pops up in page 40

and page 77

And in terms of flashbacks in 169 Yes haha funny number He strokes Vio's cheek before going in for the kiss.

And many others but I'll avoid too many cause of image limits.

Shadow usually does this when Vio's upset which is funny. We know Shadow does stuff to others he wishes people did for him so maybe Shadow just wants his cheek stroked and to be told nice things lmfao.

Another thing: I mentioned it before but I don't really like when people make Vio cry too easily. Just not for me.

But Shadow dying makes sense for him to cry. Especially in FSR where we saw WAAAAY MORE of their relationship and how involved Vio really was with Shadow.

Vio, reluctantly did really like Shadow Link and is heart broken he is dead.

*I SUPER wanna show/talk about the "After they think they killed him in the fire temple" but there's a reason I did not show wtf Green and Vio were talking about when Shadow saw them in the dark mirror hehehehe. Vio's perspective on RIGHT after they blasted him with the sword is smth you can just speculate on for now.

He is obviously DISTRAUGHT Shadow is dying now.

So, its' implied Shadow saw some of the things Link was up to before he made himself known. So in my silly FSR comic he could see through Link's Shadow at what he was doing.

Art details:

Red crying at somebody dying just made sense to me it was actually WEIRD to me he didn't cry Shadow died. Not because he's emotionally attached, but dude's just an emotional person he cried at less hah.

Green STEPS UP and says his lines from the manga

I said in the OG post of the comic my thoughts on these particular panels but like

Green having just a TIIIIINY bit more agency in him holding Shadow's hand, a VERY simple gesture makes all the difference to me in this scene.

Shadow reasonably asks what we were ALL thinking: WHAT ABOUT ZELDA?!

Which OUCH, he didn't feel like he did enough-

To which Green comforts him they WILL save her.

I may ship Vidow to hell and back but Shadow's caring for Zelda and her affect on him is not ignored in this comic lmfao.

It's actually knowing Zelda's in safe hands that makes him comfortable enough to truly pass.

He knows Vio will be okay as he has his team but Zelda is someone he couldn't be sure about.

So panel 1

I just wanted to add the true level of "Yeah he dead".

Despite his hand passing through Shadow Link, Vio still tries to reach out to him. Which hehe reflects a scene from the very start of this comic huh?

He has unfinished business around Shadow.

He never got to truly say he was sorry.

If you've noticed, Vio STILL hasn't apologized yet.

Okay thumbnailing this scene genuinely gave me the big sad lmfao.

He missed him by a hair, Shadow's gone and Vio couldn't say all the things that were on his mind.

And since you totally asked:

Page 12 is put into a new perspective huh?

He reached him this time...

Green continues to be the goodest of good boys comforting his team mate.

There's an underlying sense of Green knowing more about Vio and Shadow's relationship than the other two...Which makes sense considering Green's the one Vio went to for comfort over the situation.

So some of the dialogue around Shadow's "good boy" status was changed because I just, straight disagree with some of the wording in the manga...

He did AWFUL things but he wasn't exactly a 100% bad person. Ironically, given a chance he could have been a great person. (The opposite of what he tried to do to Vio.)

His nature of being Link's Shadow, the HERO's shadow being on full display with his final moments (Or, what COULD have been his final moments...)

Blue's shocked Shadow would do anything to help them, reasonably so. His experiences with Shadow have been:

He tried to seduce their team mate to the dark side, almost KILLED said team mate, put them through hell and back and generally was awful to them.

Red sympathizes with BLUE (At least somewhat) so I imagine he's a lot more forgiving from this angle to Shadow. XD

Green's feelings about Shadow are a bit more OPEN to interpretation here but he did make an effort for the man to die without regrets. Later in FSR he seems to have a positive outlook on Shadow so whatever Vio told him might have made him more comfortable with him in these moments and the future.

I'mma cut it off here, which sucks because this transition is PERFECT into the next scene but I don't wanna hit image limits halfway through a rant.

Green continues to be a chad. What's new.

Him being in front of his team protectively is just...Yum. I love protective Green. XD

GANNON APEARS. Big piggy boy. I had no idea I could draw pig before drawing this and I'm happy with how he turned out.

His rant in the OG manga of speaking how Vaati and Shadow Link failed him leads directly into the next scene which was, delicious. But we'll pick this up later.

I'm sure you've noticed: As a time saving technique I only use shading when it SUPER matters in FSR. It helps save time and makes them have huge impacts. XD

The intense dark shading on Ganon makes him look threatening as HELL compared to what he'd look like without it.

For reference: This is what he'd look like without it.

He looks silly. XD

His color palette was based on the game btw. Because, what else did I have to go on? The intense shading also hides that he looks kinda out of place color wise haha.

#four swords returns rambles #fsr rambles

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