#only took forever and a lot of indecision lol

[lounaticm]

Been a while since I made an eldritch form for one of the Egos, and an idea for Night possessed me a couple days ago, so here he is. He's far bigger than any of the others, but he can shrink himself down if he so chooses.

(The space pattern on his chest is meant to be in his chest, but I couldn't figure out a way to get that to work so...)

And a close-up so you can see just how tiny my boy is by comparison~ So smol~

@kiwibubbles5

[alice-ness]

*holding my hands out aggressively*

GIVE ME THE HEADCANONS

Please I am so content starved it is not even funny, I want the hight school headcanons PLEASE

I love all of them but it I had to chose for only a few I would say gimme Chip and Leaf please

Also I like that one fic u have with Logainne, and Chip, and Leaf, it's really awesome, I'm that one person who commented begging you to please continue the fic and not drop it

K that's it, hope u have a good day byeeeeee

:p

hi!!! tysm for asking here's highschool headcanons for chip and leaf! ((and sorry it took a while) 🙏🙏 ALSO im so glad u like the fic i will try to finish it but it might be a little while #busybee

in this au they all are in similar grades bc i thought abt trying to make it work in canon but it just doesn't rip

chip tolentino

- goes to highschool with marcy, leaf, and marigold

- yes he is incredibly tortured by seeing her all the time lol

- in his freshman year he had a random slump and kind of just did nothing and sulked around all the time (post child boy scout burnout/gifted kid burnout)

- like his grades were... whatever but he didn't talk to anyone and didn't do any extra curriculars

- his parents got tired of him being so suddenly lethargic-teenager so they made him join track

- he's actually really good at it, and eventually (not freshman year but eventually) he's semipopular in an awkward way where people know him but he doesn't TALK to all those people

- does really embarrassing dares with his track teammates. He's not necessarily pressured so much as he gets really into it in the moment LOL

- i put this in the fic but he ran into leaf at a club fair and they hang out now lol

- and leaf hangs out with logainne so he started hanging out with logainne

- and he has some classes with marcy and they were both in a school-rut so they bonded

- wasn't for a while that leaf naturally got the whole spelling bee group hanging out together but that was incredibly weird for chip ... bc... it's kind of weird in general

- especially hanging with barfee but they make up and they're homies (who play argue and play brawl)

- had to do a creative writing unit and discovered he's really good at that too but he's kinda embarrassed about it

- he likes like typical story writing and also nostalgic poems but he's even more embarrassed about that

- he and olive once made eye contact at a creative writing contest he went to without telling anyone and now she wards his secret

- one summer marcy got really into skateboarding and chip tried it out too to be supportive but he ate shit every. Single. time.

- chip learned to drive his junior year and really wanted a sports car but he got a shitty hand me down dad car

- one time marcy called him like "hey can you pick me up" nd he was like "from where" and she's like. "from san francisco?'

- bro how did u even get there

- he does it anyway tho

- they're like besties and they go on a lot of late night snack missions

- if they watch scary movies he will be screaming and crying and she'll be like "oh my god pay attention"

- has a crush on like every single girl he talks to

- sometimes they overlap with logainne's crushes and it's very awkward, especially bc he listens to her disaster lesbian rants at every sleepover

- he grows a really shitty puberty stache he's very proud of and EVERYONE (minus leaf who is unconditionally supportive) BEGS him to shave it

- his dad sits him down like Son. What are you doing.

- ramen and hotpockets diet (if he wanted to cook he'd be good at it tho)

- also this is just me projecting but he's filipino cuz i say so (and my word is law bc it's AAPI month /j)

- 5'5 forever... he constantly prays it'll change

- is really good at dioramas

- goes to school dances to complain in the corner the whole time about the music and the food

- could be misconstrued as mysterious but he's just awkward

- most indecisive person of all time and makes it everyone else's problem

leaf coneybear

- not ALL of his siblings made the switch to public school for high school but some did, including marigold (and pinecone who is older than them)

- it was a hard switch but it doesn't take long to find his crowd bc he's a naturally charismatic person

- his crowd is theater kids. he really loves improv and straight plays, he loves musicals too but he doesn't have great rhythm LOL

- he also LOVES helping make costumes, and in junior/senior year he's on the board

- still likes to make some of his own clothes

- was always tall for his age but had a growth spurt before freshman year and he's like. 6'1 LOL he's a stringbean

- sneaks both his cats and logainne into his school

- yes admin is tired but damn are his cats cute

- logainne is his best friend for literal life they are inseparable and will find any reason to hang out

- kind of an energy drink addict (they're not allowed in his house but he WILL drink too many anywhere else if u don't watch out and then crash and feel sick)

- (sidenote he HAS calmed down some but he can still be distractable and is still rlly high energy. Some days he takes to just completely slow down and veg out tho which is nice) (like pretty much he just won't stomp around and roar or whatever in the middle of sentences like in im not that smart 😭)

- on the complete opposite end of that he's also an organic fruit smoothie addict

- he also loves to bake and he's REALLY good at it but his younger siblings aren't allowed sugar so he will spontaneously get a bunch of ingredients and then show up at his friends' houses late at night to borrow their kitchen

- he tries to "spread the love" by doing this equally at all his friends places

- olive is his #1 baking buddy tho!

- also speaking of siblings he's the best older brother ever and he doesnt really like to be home but he'll spend time with his siblings

- .... his parents just keep havin babies

- anyway he's not as good at cooking bc it bores him so he'll get distracted and let things burn whoops

- tons of sleepovers at logainnes he's like a son to her dads

- gets a giant van to drive all his friends around in, it's decked out

- fixes holes in his friends clothes

- they all have a million friendship bracelets bc he just gets sappy and makes more or forgets he made one

- keeps everything ever given to him

- loves interactive science museums where u get to touch stuff more than ANYYYYTHIIIING. He will get lost in the dino bones

- and loves nature and hikes but mainly to look at bugs

- is the king of poster projects in class

- wasn't allowed to watch horror movies as a kid so logainne showed him some classic his freshman year and he literally couldn't sleep for a week but now he likes them, just mostly the campy stuff

- so stuff like little shop, rocky horror, r his the musicals bc it's cheesy campy horror AND theater!

- also first got social media like freshman/sophomore year and he just posts poorly taken pictures and occasionally answers his friends dms

- junior year on, a good amount of his theater peers develop like silly little crushes on him but he's completely oblivious and chip is just so jealous bc he gets no bitches

- he's the glue of the 25th annual kids bc he sort of just naturally started hanging out w them individually again and was like Oh shit why don't we all just hang out

- he is the only person marcy will cuddle

- (on that note he's the group teddy bear)

[non-un-topo]

random ass questions about ur stories: ok I don’t remember the title but ur recent long fic that was like. the aftermath of losing quynh and they were on that island with the fun-shaped stone that Nicky found? if ur happy to share I’d LOVE to hear about like. what part of the story u came up with first. like what image/vibe/plot point etc stuck in ur head so much that u wrote a whole fic about it yk? I absolutely LOVED that fic and would love to know!! hope ur having a good day and also no pressure to respond 🫶💕

🥺🥺 Ohh friend, thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it, and I'm sending lots of love to you!! The fic in question is Axis! (you're gonna get me talking about this big baby of mine and I won't shut up lol, I'm shy but I've had a lot of caffeine and I'm excited) <33

So I actually went looking through my old docs, phone notes, and physical journals for the first idea I had of this fic after I read your ask, because I could not seem to remember?? From what I managed to dig up, it was based on vibes first. I have some journal notes on "aporia", a state of ambivalence, and liminal space. I think I started writing it in October last year, during a very weird time where my mental health was... not great. In short, and hopefully without oversharing, I thought I was having a psychotic break. Turned out it was likely the CBD capsules I was taking for my chronic pain, which had a psychoactive effect I hadn't anticipated (like 0.1mg of THC and somehow it was enough). Anyway, at that time I started writing a lot of garbled philosophical thoughts, and I'll share this one for you because I'm almost certain it's what inspired Axis: (also putting the rest of this under a read-more so I don't annoy anyone sdfghfd)

What is the present? I wonder, because the moment you put your attention on it, it becomes the past. It vanishes. We think about present moments, but they’re already gone. All that exists is this idea of ‘happening’: All that will happen, and all that has happened. Neither is tangible. Neither can be held or kept. In thinking about the future, we imagine possibilities. In thinking about the past, we revive in our minds what has already happened. The only present that exists is the imagination. The dream. That which removes us from our reality, from our position in time and space. Where exactly is that? Rather, where are our selves in that state? Do we linger? Do we go? And if so, where? How long is the length of a single present moment? Can our lives exist as this single thread, if we spend it in dream-state? Are we forever suspended, or do our recollections of the past, our imaginings of the future, tether us to something tangible after all?

Anyway, right below this is the first line from Axis: "It is wondrous how quickly things can change in a moment."

Besides vibes and themes (suspension, stasis, indecision, fear of being lost, grieving, surrendering to the will of nature, being a fixed point in a broken group, being tethered together or untethered, things happening in reverse, being upside-down, being consumed, yadda yadda), I think the first scenes that popped into my head as visuals before I got writing were 1) Nicolo standing in the valley and catching a flake of ash in the air. 2) Yusuf and/or Nicolo in a hot spring. 3) Larus' frozen lambs. 4) The argument between Andromache and Nicolo, but no dialogue yet.

I know I wanted to write something sort of dream-like, that dipped in and out of flashbacks and liminal states, and I'm genuinely proud of myself for seeing it through. The last school year I had was intense to say the least, and there was a long stretch of time where I just left this fic as one scene and a bunch of nonsensical notes. Then, being real transparent here, a couple different tragedies happened one right after the other, and I just opened the doc again. I think my nana dying slowly had a lot to do with the direction my writing took. Thoughts, feelings, general atmosphere from real life creeps into my writing every time, and often I don't even notice until the project is done and I've read it a few times.

Anyway, I'm WAY overselling this fic dfgfds. It just means a whole lot to me and I know you can tell, so I appreciate you asking about it <3 Hope you have a fantastic day. Sending love and hugs <333

A bonus angsty snippet that didn't make it into the final work, just for you <3

It happens like this sometimes: Yusuf begins. “What if we never found you?” “You did.” “But what if. Just humour me for a moment.” You do. You love this man, so you do. “I wasn’t fast enough, and you slipped. I didn’t grab you. I didn’t even pull you from the water.” “You know it is not your fault.” “Andi didn’t— you didn’t see. I tried to jump in after you—” “And you would have been lost, too.” “No, I would have gotten you back.” There is no way to prove this. Nothing is certain. It already happened. You’re going around in circles. Yusuf says again, in a whisper, “What if we never found you?” You’re finding it hard to speak. To say anything in this moment. Yusuf presses his hands over his mouth, but it does nothing to contain his stilted gasps. He presses his words against his palms, but you hear them clear as ice: “What if we never find her?”

[smooth-boob]

⭐ !!!

Fanfic Writers: Director's Cut Game

Thank you for sending this, and once again I am literally so sorry, but this is just going to be a long diary entry about The Bustle in a House, a Bridgerton fic I wrote, particularly the epilogue. My inner monologue is loud, and normally it's just me in here! Apart from being unhinged in tags, I don't post a lot of personal things on here, but I have something to say!

I feel like I talk about The Bustle in a House a lot on here, and in terms of hits/kudos/statistics, it's not one of my most popular fics (I mean, it's not shippy and it's aggressively sad, so I get it lol), but it was really a breakthrough story for me! Link at the bottom for shameless self promo, woo.

It's funny, looking at my google docs now, I guess it only took me six weeks to write, but it was literally all I thought about for those six weeks. I was scratching at the walls of my enclosure writing this thing. Apart from a couple Bridgerton one-shots and a quickly abandoned fic, I hadn't written almost anything on my own in such a long time. It was also emotionally charged and gritty and I was so impatient to get the story out but I needed to get it out the way that felt right.

Beyond that, I struggle(d) to write complete stories that aren't just scenes stitched to each other. Honestly, Bustle is still like that, but it all stitches together very nicely if I do say so myself. Still, I had been agonizing a little bit over the fact that I didn't know how the fic was going to end. I couldn't keep writing it forever...I mean, I guess I could, because it's really not that long, and there's actually more of it in my drafts, but I was trying to tell a very particular story and also have I mentioned that I am impatient? But the story didn't have an end because it's an origin story about unhealed trauma, so what was I going to do with that?

So, at least to give myself a bookend to the real story, I wrote the epilogue. I wrote it in a thirty-minute fit of inspiration one evening while tipsy on red wine, sitting at a desk in my parents' house where I'd been living for about three years because y'know, pandemic, and I was feeling trapped and burnt out and indecisive and afraid, etc. and if you read it, you might see me staring at you through Anthony, wink wink. (Quick caveat that, unlike Anthony, living with my parents was an overall loving experience at that point in my life!)

Anyway, in true Hemingway spirit, I wrote drunk, and when I went to edit sober, I was delighted that it didn't need much help. I obsessed over details, like changing scotch to whisky and then to brandy (it's sweeter, and he's so young). This is not to say that the epilogue is perfect; it's not, but it is what it needed to be.

It is a love poem of a kind for a character that hit me hard. It's a short prose poem about grief and loneliness and the 'wrong' ways to heal and it's about thinking you're at the acceptance stage of grief but really it's just depression. It's about losing parts of yourself and coming of age into something that doesn't feel right but feels inevitable, and so you stop fighting and just get on with it. It's about the before, and Anthony not knowing that he has an after and eventually, yes, years later eventually, he's going to be okay. More than okay, he's going to be happy.

(And he only has a year until Doing The Voices, and I let him be happy for at least a few nights in that! He doesn't know that he's doing the right things when taking care of his family. Not always, but more than he knows he is.)

As for me, I moved out of my parents' house and into my own newly purchased 'bachelor lodgings' (so to speak) about a month after I posted the last chapter, and I'm writing more than I have in years! Baby steps! Adult steps!

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk/therapy session. Probably no one should ask me anything else for a while lmao, who knows what will happen!

Read The Bustle in a House on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47126467

Or if you don't feel like being sad, read Doing The Voices instead: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47976274

[particular-one]

PLEASE THE NEW DAN HENG WAS SO GOOD 😭 my angst heart loves that the fact he never got to hear reader's last words would haunt him forever. He probably lays awake at night in bed imagining the event all over again and daydreams you dying in his arms instead of by yourself while he got help 😢

You so get me on the Oikawa simping. If you ever decide to release the hottest mixtape on why he's the most dedicated lover then I will stream it 24/7 😤. And mr.tetsurou!! He would never willingly make a fool of himself but once you get some alcohol in him 🥴 all his repressed feelings are about to come out!!!

I can't think of any requests but I see you currently have 8 in your inbox so I'm soooo looking forward to it on top of whatever you have in your drafts! Also I saw that you're closing matchups soon and that you're willing to do additionals so can you do 3 more for me with the info I sent since you already posted mine, please? (Only if you have the time and energy of course!!! I won't be too greedy for your writing and interaction now heheh) for the fandoms.....ummm...argh, this is so hard because I literally am in all those fandoms 😭 If any characters from any of your given fandoms jump out at you then I'll take them but if nobody comes to mind then I'll choose genshin, honkai and you can literally choose the last one for me hdjsks IM SORRY IM SO INDECISIVE 😣 we literally have all the same fandoms so it's so hard for me but I promise I'm not picky and I'll love whatever you write anyways so no stress LOL

I'm sitting in the doorway and just took my shoes off as I write this bc i got the notifs that you posted but i hope youre having a good day/night wherever you are!!💕💖

-🐰

teehee oh that was definitely the intention. i think it just adds to the heartbreak even more that he should have stayed by ur side for your final moments.... oh well! i love to give my comfort characters the biggest hug but simultaneously dump a truckload of angst on them .... whoops. wooHOOO oh yeah. watch me become oikawa's defense lawyer AND brand new pr manager, just going "dw sweetheart i will take care of you".... but in all seriousness, there is just so many layers to him that i really love abt him!! tbh he's probably the first few characters i really invested in analyzing, which is what got me into literary analysis and writing haha. waaa thank you! 🥹 ngl most of the stuff in my inbox are matchup requests but i rlly enjoy writing those anyways. i still have an angst idea that i would like to write out (it's been sitting in my brain since yesterday ngl) but i still have one more final to finish so maybe later this week! oh! but an anon did request for a scenario for kuroo and oikawa based on our convo so! 👀 hopefully i can get that out pretty soon<3 and on the topic of the matchup, definitely, yeah!! i think i did genshin for u already BUT i can always do a second genshin since there's lots of charas if u'd like :> keeping the last fandom a surprise till i post it. thanks for the ask as always and take care of urself! <3

[vexic929]

1, 5, 7, 11, 16, 17, 19 for Berrie, Aria, and Eoland

1. What kind of person is your OC in a crisis? Are they calm and collected? Do they panic? Or are they chronically the cause?

Berrie is the type of person who if they are alone, they will panic, but if he is with his friends, her protectiveness overrides and she doesn't panic until the crisis is resolved

Aria is scarily calm, there could be bombs going off in her vicinity and you just see her walking casually through the area probably checking her phone like she's going to brunch, she became a meme briefly for doing similar in Gotham City while a Joker goon was actively destroying the building behind her

Eoland is usually the cause but even when she isn't, she isn't easily rattled; sometimes because she's from the future and she already knew it was going to happen and sometimes because she's from the future and she knows it won't be significant enough to change anything

5. Does your OC have a signature weapon and/or attack? How long did they train to master it?

Berrie's only attack is the speedster vibrating hand phase through the chest and grab the heart attack and it took a couple of weeks for Eobard to teach them

Aria's signature attack is to create a storm, force the person who angered her to open the window, and then summon a bolt of lightning immediately to strike them - lightning was one of the first things she learned to summon but she didn't use it against another person until she was in her late teens

Eoland's signature attack is also the steal the heart maneuver; once she learned how to phase it took almost no time for her to develop the technique and perfect it

7. Does your OC like their natural hair color or do they dye it? What styles do they prefer?

Berrie likes her natural hair color but they also think it would be fun to dye it sometime, he's just too indecisive to pick a color lol they usually leave their hair down

Aria doesn't have an opinion on her natural hair color and she does enjoy dyeing it dark violet or indigo, she usually leaves her waist-length hair down

Eoland likes her natural hair color and does not dye it though she has considered it before, she cuts it short to keep it out of the way

11. What does your OC believe in? God(s)? Monsters? Love? The power of unbreakable bonds of friendship to overcome any obstacle? The ability of money to open any door? Or are they indifferent?

Berrie likes to keep her mind open to all possibilities but she believes strongly in love and friendship <3

Aria believes in herself and money (and jinn but only because she's dealt with them, if she hadn't she wouldn't believe they exist)

Eoland also believes in herself and, though she'll vehemently deny it, fate

16. How does your OC make money? Do they have a respectible profession or work a series of odd jobs? Are they a criminal? Or do they get creative in the pursuit of coin?

Berrie doesn't have a job but they do have a weekly allowance from their dad

Aria now runs her family's business and also the "family business" so she has a constant cash inflow both above-board and below, she also likes to use her journalism degree to write articles and sells them to whatever news company offers the most for them for fun and profit

Eoland is from a well-off family but that doesn't help her outside of the 22nd century so she just steals whatever she needs

17. Does your OC have an enemy? What happened between them? Is it mutual or one-sided? Is it petty or serious? Is one party seeking revenge? Does one person want the other dead or are they content to hate them from afar? 

Berrie's only enemy thus far has been his chemistry teacher who he murdered so that was handled quickly lol

Aria has many, many, many enemies because taking over her father's business meant inheriting his enemies and angering a lot more people, she's not at all worried about it though, she's certain she's more than capable of handling any issues that arise

Eoland's enemy is now and forever Barbara Allen; it's mutual, extremely petty, and Eoland will not stop until they're both dead

19. Has your OC ever had an experience with the paranormal or the divine? What happened? Was it a one time encounter or is it a normal part of their life? Did they find it terrifying or thrilling?

Berrie went ghost hunting once with their friends but all they managed to do was freak each other out lol

Aria has been possessed by a jinn since she was a child so she regularly deals with the supernatural

Eoland neither believes in the paranormal/divine nor has encountered it

[avalon821]

People don't talk about their ships enough!

I promise it's not oversharing, tell me about your ships!

OK SO sorry this took forever I go very distracted and then forgot about it

Ships, they’re good shit. I am so undecided about them that I treat them kinda loose. I’m an indecisive bitch and that applies to ships too. I like digging into dynamics and how characters interact lol

Gonna limit this to npc ships for now but I am liable to make an addition at some point rambling about ocxoc ships I have with friends

Tyr:

Man this lizard is so slow to fall in love. The way it usually goes for him is he meets someone, interacts with them for a bit, becomes friends and then oh fuck he’s caught feelings. And then he’s slow to act on it bc he’s bad at reading people and has no idea if his feelings are reciprocated and tends to overthink any signs. Please just be direct with him he’s suffering.

In his main verse his possible partners are Estinien’s and G’raha! What I like most about these dynamics is that they’re the most aware of how human Tyr is (well that and the angst potential). He finally gets together with one or both of them post endwalker when he’s at the point where he’s just so tired of denying himself what he wants and just says fuck it, I’m going to say something. I also really like how they all have some sort of duty they were burdened with and it’s some tasty shit.

With estinien it’s very much a battle couple. These bitches are fighters and it’s undeniable. These two love to spare and love to wander around together. The wanderers soul is strong in these two. Also the fight -> fuck pipeline. It’s good shit. The other thing I like is that they have this kind of parallels thing going on where earlier on in the story Estinien is the vengeance bitch and Tyr helps him through it and then later in garlemald he can help Tyr back.

G’raha and Tyr are very sweet. They’re in a constant cycle of trying to get the other to fucking relax. Neither have entirely succeeded. Both of these bitches need to Let Go. I love the sleeping beauty moment. I love the yearning. The size difference. The infodumping. It’s good shit.

Also! Post ew, if romance, the map thing was estinien’s attempt to take Tyr on a date, and the alliance raids was G’raha’s.

Monroe:

She’s only got 1 npc ship so far and that’s everyone’s favorite Lord Commander Aymeric.

What they’ve got is kind of up in the air and they know it. There isn’t a future for them if they continue on their current paths. Someone is going to need to make a sacrifice, either Monroe cuts back on the adventuring or aymeric steps away from politics more. It’s not that way yet, so they’re taking their joy while they can.

They also don’t get together until the ew caster role quests! The… public answer as to why is that Monroe got a nasty migraine and he helped her until it passed. She wasn’t capable of doing much during it and he offered her safety. And that’s really what she wants in a serious relationship, a sense of safety. She trusts that he won’t hurt her intentionally or by negligence.

She also breaks into his house a lot. He’s trying to figure out what window she’s getting in through so he can lock the other ones

[simaddix]

Plants Continued

Never thought I would be so excited for weeds... but these took FOREVER to finally get right so... I am. I'm excited for weeds! Also for my historical/medieval players, dandelions have a ton of medicinal purposes! I'm wanting the world to have harvestable plants around the hills for realistic food gathering. I see an apothecary featuring in the village! <3

With and without grass on UV >

These are the tulip fields. These tend to show more of the "base" or grass of the plant than the fields, and these are only good for flat ground since they're flat/even, but they're still pretty for lots and stuff that have even ground.

Still have more flowers to get through, but I'm starting to get through the pile now. I'll be finishing getting the textures into UVs (for testing) here pretty quick, then I can figure out which mesh I'm going to use for the flowers, edit them for various colors if they play nice, and then make packages for the ones who pass all the tests. (: I already have a few that are in the "Ooh gotta have those" pile lol. Hope y'all are excited for some flora despite the cold weather coming soon!

(Ironic, seeing as winter is my favorite season and I'm over here playing spring :D lol)

As you can see from this, I have... lots of options. Not all of these will make it through but I'm all about variety.

This is also why I'm so indecisive 90% of the time :/ Guilty

[dapandapod]

For the hug prompts: 9, 13, 27, 40.

They're all amazing prompts and I narrowed it down to those four with a lot of effort, lol.

The hug that feels like home is my favourite though. A

s someone who (because of covid) will see their mum for the first time in 18 months tomorrow evening, where she can visit me, but I still can't go home, that hug is going to feel like home ❤ (sorry I didn't mean to get all rambly)

Hello love! It is my honor to recieve these chosen four, and uh. Sorry my brain went and made it a wee bit angsty.... Hope you like it! Because I tried to get all of them!!

9, the hug that feels like home 13 the hug to hide your tears 27, the hug you didn’t know you needed 40 post-nightmare hug

Pairing: Lambden

Warnings: Near death experience, possibly ptsd, mention of past torture and scars? I tried to make it soft, but there is a lot of sad in there

This is Aiden returning to Lambert after presumed being dead. Enjoy!

Send me a hug prompt?

On Ao3! Hug collection here

Aiden wakes up with a start, his breath coming fast, heart trying to beat its way out of his chest.

He can still feel it. The cold breath of death on his neck, the numbness in his limbs. The pain where the arrows had hit home, where his shoulder still aches long after healing.

Time has passed since then, but no time can distance him from the memories. It doesn’t matter how far he runs, every night he feels it, every night he wakes up, body forcing itself upright in it’s panic to stay alive.

The room is empty. Both his swords lie at the side of his bed and downstairs the cooks of the inn are waking up and preparing for the day. He is all alone, but as tears prickle his eyes he feels the need to hide.

Sitting up and leaning against the wall, Aiden hides his face against his legs. Sobs tear through him, and he clenches his teeth to muffle the sound, hugging his thighs tightly. The fear just won’t let him go.

It takes him the better part of an hour to calm down, and then he resigns himself to his morning routines. It is no miracle he is alive, it was painstaking work. His muscles need to be reminded of that work, how to give when he stretches and bends.

He is fine.

He is alive.

It is enough.

The path leads ahead, and where he would usually stroll with no care in the world, he is hesitant to go now. He isn’t sure Lambert still wants him around.

They didn’t part on the best terms, and then That happened.

This is Lambert's territory. No cats allowed.

But the only decent inn around here, The Peddler, is that one inn where Aiden and Lambert usually met up after a long time apart. And with Aiden’s body still in the shape it is, he can’t afford to sleep too often on the ground anymore.

It will be fine. Lambert will never know, he will just be there over the night. No harm done.

Turns out, it isn’t fine.

When Aiden enters the dimly lit inn, Lambert is already there. His eyes go wide when they lock onto the cat witcher, and Aiden suddenly finds it really hard to breathe. He stands in the doorway, indecision plaguing him. He could just turn around, leave, ride far away from here and pretend nothing happened. Or, he could listen to his body, not give a shit about Lambert, rent a room and get the fuck out of sight.

Both are tempting options.

The decision gets made for him however when Lambert stands up, chair scraping against the floor.

Fuck. He can’t stay. Not with what they had yelled at each other last time. Not when those burning eyes radiate anger and betrayal.

Aiden turns around and steps back out into the falling darkness. He shouldn’t have come here.

He makes it as far as the stables when Lambert catches up to him. Aiden hears him coming, but he doesn’t… do anything about it. Something small inside him whispers that maybe he wanted Lambert to find him. That he missed him.

That thought hurts more than any arrows, any torture, any nightmares.

With a hand on his shoulder he is turned around, shoved against one of the wooden beams.

“What the fuck, Aiden!” Lambert hisses. “I thought you were dead.”

“Well, I’m clearly not.” Aiden retorts.

It’s been a while. Years, if he was being honest. Lambert's hand on Aiden’s bad shoulder tightens and he can’t help but wince. The other witcher notices, frowning and gentling his grip.

“Where have you been? Have you been avoiding me all this time?”

Always straight to the point, Lambert.

“For a while.” Aiden admits, no point lying about it.

Lambert keeps staring at him so Aiden has to look away. His heart is aching just looking at the wolf again.

“And the rest of it?” Lambert insists. “Kitten, your eye--”

“Please.” Aiden interrupts him. He knows what he looks like now. “Not here.”

Lambert looks at him for a moment, and then he sighs.

“I am not letting you run away again.” Lambert mutters, catching his wrist instead when Aiden tries to shrug him off.

Whatever travel companion Lambert had found, they are ignored now. Lambert leads Aiden up a set of rickety stairs and down a familiar hall. They usually rent the double room down the hall, but Lambert had no reason to this time. Instead they walk to the room right across, Lambert pushing him inside with a hand on his lower back.

There is only one bed in here, crammed in with a small writing desk filled with Lamberts projects. Half of them being bombs and somewhat dangerous experiments to let lying around unguarded.

The room looks well lived in, actually. Clothes are thrown haphazardly over the only chair and a few plates are stacked on top of the chest by the foot of the bed.

“Been living here for long?” Aiden asks. “Not like you.”

Lambert doesn’t even reply, just turns to face Aiden. It is a little bit intimidating, having someone stare at him so intently, seeing him.

Slowly he reaches out, giving Aiden plenty of time to back out of reach. Aiden can’t move, can’t think.

Lambert’s thumb reaches out and traces one of the new scars on his cheek. Aiden closes his eyes, and then Lambert’s arms are around him crushing him.

It’s been such a long time since someone hugged him. Touched him, really, without setting a bone or sowing a wound. It startles him, how much he needed it.

And more than that, it is Lambert’s arms around him. Aiden never could say what Lambert was to him, prickly asshole as he is, but this feels right.

Safe.

It takes him a moment to realize Lambert isn’t letting him go, and Aiden finally gives in and wraps his arms around Lambert’s neck. For a long while, they just stand there, breathing each other in, enjoying the warmth, the closeness. It is like a piece of himself has been missing, and it took Lambert to hold him to feel whole again. His throat feels tight, and he pushes back. Aiden is not going to cry here.

“What happened to you?” Lambert whispers, again reaching for Aiden, again letting his thumb drag against his cheek. “I thought you… I avenged you.”

Aiden will not cry. He will not.

“Thank you.” he whispers back. “They almost had me.”

They talk very little that night. The shock of being in each other's company again puts all old disagreements on hold. Lambert doesn’t ask, but when it is time for sleep Aiden feels his eyes on his back as he removes his tunic.

“You take the bed.” He grunts, grabbing Aidens bedroll and throwing it out on the floor. No comments or pity. Again Aiden swallows around the tightness in his throat, and he falls asleep faster than he has in a long time.

It doesn’t take long for the nightmares to return. Cold breath against his neck, the strain on his muscles as the chains keep him upright, the edge of the knife pushing into his skin.

Once again he startles awake, sitting upright and gulping for air, ghost sensations of the dream crawling and clawing in the back of his mind.

Breathing is hard, and he focuses on that for a while. But this time, Aiden isn’t alone. He can hear shuffling from the floor, feel the mattress dip, and then Lambert’s warm body leaning against him. Aiden turns into him, accepting the comfort he is offering.

Whatever it is they had, whatever this is, Aiden breathes easier with Lambert near him. Lambert’s hand rub against Aiden’s bare back, pulling him closer. He tucks Aiden under his chin, cupping his neck, and all the tension in Aidens body gives out at the same time.

“It’s alright, kittycat. I got you. You are safe.”

You are home.

Lambert doesn’t say it but suddenly it is clear in Aiden’s mind. He is home. The walls don’t matter, nor the town. As long as Lambert is there to catch him when he falls, Aiden knows he is safe. How this madman, this absolute imbecil pushed himself inside Aiden’s heart is forever going to be a mystery.

As is his habit, Aiden doesn’tsleep more that night. But he allows himself to be held, to breathe in the stink of sweat and chemicals and something else that Lambert must have rolled in earlier in the day. He allows himself to feel, to remember, to talk.

Lambert listens all the while.

Their old fight is still there, but in the far back. They will talk about that too, eventually. For now, all that matters is the sun slowly climbing in the sky, Lambert’s thumb tracing back and forth behind his ear, and Aiden being allowed to lean on him, pressing his nose into his neck.

If Aiden felt a kiss against his hair, he won't mention it. If Aiden pressed a barely there kiss into his collarbone, Lambert didn’t mention it either.

For now, there is just peace, safety and home.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

Satisfied, Part 12

First

Previous

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I’m going to start answering comments at the bottom but before the taglist now so you guys can get straight into the chapter (unless it’s really important like taking a break or something)

Also I’ve decided to move all the Wayne kids closer together in age. Damian’s 18, Tim is 21, Jason is 23, Dick is 25

~~~

She didn’t go to the coffee shop the next day. Partially because she wasn’t getting her overpriced coffee paid for (at least not without a lot of whining), but mostly because she wanted to do some research where people couldn’t see her.

She sighed as she flipped between all fifty of her tabs, resting her head on her hand. She could hear Tikki trying, and failing, to make her something to eat in the kitchen.

Who could the bat family be? They had to have a lot of influence and/or money to get as much information as they did. She flipped through the most wealthy people in Gotham and its surrounding area, but where was the cutoff? How was she to know that they weren’t middle class people who saved for expensive things?

And then there was the tiny case of the near-slipup on the rooftops. Nightwing was about to call Robin something. He wouldn’t have been saying ‘friend’, he wouldn’t have had to pause like that. What had he been about to say? She hoped it wasn’t ‘boyfriend’, they had what seemed to be a 10 year age gap. Her best assumption was they were going to say ‘brother’, which implied at least most of the bat family was related.

Her eyes found their way to the tab with a picture of Bruce Wayne. He was standing alone, his kids never had pictures taken of them out of respect for their privacy, but everyone knew of his penchant for adopting kids with dark hair and blue eyes.

Great. She’ll never know, then. How was she, a designer, supposed to get close to the Bruce Wayne?

~

On a completely unrelated note, the next day she stood outside of a gate with Tim. Her eyes locked on the weird symbol on the gate, trying to place where she’d seen it before, but her brain couldn’t seem to find it. Oh well, it was probably just one of the rich people she’d researched yesterday.

Tim placed his hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. “You can not let my dad adopt you.”

She gave a small eyeroll, pushing his hands off and smoothing out her dress. It had taken forever to get a dresscode out of Tim, because he insisted that ‘you could wear a burlap sack and my family would love you, just relax’, but he eventually just told her formal. Not helpful. There’s levels of formal, Tim. She had settled for a plain red dress with a black belt.

“I don’t think my parents would be all that excited if I traded them out after a few days here.”

He nodded. “That’s good. Use that.”

“Use tha--?”

The gates swung open.

Tim took a deep breath as if to steel his nerves. “At least Damian isn’t here. You get to meet the nicest of the family first.”

“Why isn’t he here?”

“He got out of it,” he shrugged.

They stepped inside. She stared up at the high walls. She pulled out her phone and took a picture in case she messed up with Tim’s family so bad that she wasn’t allowed back.

The moment she walked in someone pulled her into a hug. “Thank you!” He cried.

Marinette blinked and gave him a short pat on the back. “You’re... welcome?”

He pulled away and held out a hand to shake. “Sorry, I was just so excited to meet the person who got him to take a day off. I’m Dick.”

“You’re... you’re what?” She said, her eyebrows shooting into her hair.

Dick rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, right, French. I’m Richard but, in America, that gets shortened to ‘Dick’.”

She blinked once, then just chose to accept it. “Nice to meet you, I’m Marinette.”

“How’d you do it?”

She gave a small shrug as they began walking to the dining room. “I don’t know. He just offered.”

Dick sent her a skeptical look, then looked at his brother as if to confirm.

“In my defense, she looked really stressed.”

“More stressed than you usually do?” Came a voice from above. She looked up to see yet another guy leaning over a railing to look at them.

Marinette raised her eyebrows. “I thought you guys were adopted, how do you all look exactly the same?”

The newest grinned. “Dad’s got a type.” He hopped the railing and landed next to them.

She narrowed her eyes slightly as she took a better look at all of them. Tim’s dodge could be put down as self-defense, but hopping a railing and landing without getting hurt?

She blinked as a hand was thrust in her face and gave a weak smile. “I’m Marinette, nice to meet you.”

“Jason.”

Her brain was blaring alarms, trying desperately to tell her something, but it all came out as ‘AHDKFSFHDLKSNDG’, which wasn’t all that useful.

She shook his hand.

It wasn’t until she walked into the dining room and her eyes landed on the Bruce Wayne that she finally figured everything out. Her hands flew to her mouth as she stared at him in stunned silence.

Then she wheeled on Tim and pulled him down by the collar of his shirt. “You’ve been a Wayne this whole time? Why didn’t you tell me?”

He had the decency to look sheepish. “I didn’t want you to use me for my money.”

“Please, I knew you were rich from the get-go, it wouldn’t have mattered if you were ‘goes to Disney twice a year’ rich or ‘could buy Disney if you wanted’ rich. You should have at least warned me outside the gate!”

Bruce dropped something on the desk and Marinette squeaked quietly, letting go of her captive. It was a file of some sort. Crap, was this an interrogation or something? Was that a rich people thing? Do they do in-depth research on people that talk to their kids?

The man slid the file over and she opened it to see... adoption papers?

“Wow, you really weren’t kidding,” she mumbled as she flipped through them. She glanced up at Bruce. “How did you get these so fast?”

“I have them on me at all times at this point,” he explained.

She blinked a few times and then slowly closed the file. “I’m sorry, but I have parents already.”

Everyone (except Tim) seemed stunned. She heard Jason whisper: “Is that allowed?”

Despite the slight confusion, everyone took a seat at the table. There was quite a few seats, but she was amused to see all the kids opting to sit next to her.

Dick rested his head on his hands from his spot across the table. “So, what do you know about Ladybug?”

She did her best not to tense.

“Subtle,” said Jason sarcastically from her right. He turned back to her and gave an apologetic smile. “Sorry, ‘bout that. He’s been obsessed since she appeared, and most of his research has been a dead end. He’s grasping at straws.”

She forced a small laugh. “I’m too clutzy to ever be Ladybug, you can ask anyone.”

Dick groaned. “And I don’t suppose you know who it is?”

“Nope.”

Jason, apparently eager to change the subject every two seconds, asked: “How’d you two meet?”

She glanced at Tim, who was shaking his head so fast she thought it’d pop off, then turned back to his brothers and father. “We met at the coffee shop. He spilled coffee on me.”

She heard Tim’s head hit the table as he groaned.

Jason was cackling. “Awwww, Tim is in a coffeeshop AU!”

Dick grinned. “Next you’ll tell me he offered you free drinks for life or something.”

“Well, actually,--.”

She couldn’t even finish, Jason was laughing so hard.

Bruce seemed less amused. “I would hope that he did, and for the shirt. too.”

She smirked and looked at Tim, who seemed to sense what she was going to do before she did it. He sent her a short look, a ‘don’t you dare’, before she spoke: “Actually, he revoked my coffee privileges.”

The poor kid sighed and closed his eyes. His father was glaring daggers at him, so, after a few seconds of him struggling, he finally gave in. “Fine, I’ll pay for coffee again.”

She cheered and gave Jason a high five.

Dick rolled his eyes. “You’re children.”

“Like you’re so much better!” Complained Jason. “You’re only two years older than me!”

Marinette rolled her eyes and reached out to poke Tim’s face until he finally looked over at her.

“He lives!” She cheered softly and he shook his head and sat up some, a smile playing across his lips.

Bruce chuckled and leaned back in his chair. He’d been watching the four for a little while. They seemed like they’d get along...

“Tim, have you invited her yet?”

Tim went red.

“I’ll take that as a no. Do you want to do it or should I?”

The kid took a deep breath to steel himself, then gently poked her shoulder for her attention. The moment she looked at him, though, he froze and couldn’t seem to get any words out.

Marinette’s head tipped to the side. “Um...?”

Bruce rolled his eyes. “I’d like to, on behalf of my son, invite you to the Wayne Gala.”

To everyone’s surprise, the girl didn’t smile, or thank him, or really react positively at all.

Marinette released a quiet sound, like a balloon deflating, as she slumped into her seat and covered her face in her hands. Tim rubbed her shoulder comfortingly.

“What’s wrong?” Came Dick’s voice.

“Six!” She cried.

“You have something against musicals?” Said Jason.

She lowered her hands just enough to glare at him. “I have to make six outfits in four months.”

“You don’t have --,” began Tim.

“I have to! Make! Six outfits! In four months!”

~~~

When Marinette is done with the gala outfits will I show you what they look like?

I’ll do you one better. I’m showing them now because it took a longgggg time and I KNOW I will forget if I wait until then.

I tried to match their personalities with their posture and clothes. I kinda forgot Penny’s character though lol so now she’s kinda like Nathalie.

Also that took forever. If ya’ll want that again you gotta pay me. Christ.

~

Why is she making an outfit for Adrien if they aren’t friends?

They aren’t on bad terms, they just grew apart due to a difference in ideology. But, beyond that, she has her reasons. You’ll find out when Adrien comes by.

~~~

Taglist

@thatonecroc @comet-kun @trippingovermyfeet​ @swiftie-miraculer13 @nickristus-dreamer @moongoddesskiana @i-am-ironic @indecisive-mess-named-me @thebooki3h​ @insane-fangirl-of-everything​ @deepestobservationwombat​ @theymakeupfairies​ @fatimaabbasrizvi​ @clumsy-owl-4178​ @fanofalittletoomuch​ @iamablinkmarvelarmy​ @nathleigh @lilkymilky @silvergold-swirl​ @dino-lovingreen-angel​ @thestressmademedoit​ @kissa-chan @ladybug-182 @alysrose-starchild @t1dwarrior-of-earth​​​

[marmarparadoxa]

Hi! I was quite surprised to see even tho hanji is loved in japan, she is heavily criticized even among her fans. they say hanji is too idealistic or too soft to be a commander or indecisive and bad at negotiation or too weird to be a diplomat. Being compared to sannes and shadis (gets in the way of progress, lies to ppl or bystander). she couldn't throw away any important things, so she couldn't change anything (references Armin quote).

(same anon) she couldn't move forward that's why she died. she can't understand others feeling. being naive/easily deceived. There's also this image of levi being selfish who made hanji suffer as commander to make erwin rest not caring about humanity and became passive post time-skip leaving her do most of the work, took her feeling and presence for granted. I'm sorry for the negativity but I hated these takes and really wanted to know your opinion.

Do you think Yams purposely ignored Hanji throughout the story or reduce her character to a bad commander? She didn’t get enough screen time and she was mainly shown as an insecure and overwhelmed commander and not having a plan or a solution to all the mess that was going on. I also felt like she seemed to be just a placeholder between Erwin and Armin. Do you think yams hated her maybe b/c she is an idealist or he thinks she is an unimportant character?

Hi anons! I’ve decided to answer your questions together, since they both broadly revolve around the same topic. Hope you don’t mind.

About those takes about Hange in the fandom...well, while some are funny enough (like “too weird to be a diplomat” what), others are nasty (“she couldn’t move forward, that’s why she died” you mean it wasn’t because of Eren’s Rumbling that Hange had to die? ...), and none of them makes any sense to me. Anyway, I think one can have quite an idea about the mindsets, and the sympathies associated with these ideas.

For one thing, I feel like a lot of Hange hate probably comes from those who think that what they were trying to do wasn’t right in the first place. In other words, those who support Eren’s actions, and thus think Eren was right in committing genocide, and killing millions of innocent people as the only sensible way to save Paradis. Consequently, I imagine they think of Hange as a traitor, and indecisive because they couldn’t throw away anything, aka accepting to massacre the rest of humanity just for the safety of their own island? To be honest these are mainly suppositions because my fandom experience is basically restricted to safe spaces only lol, so I don’t really know what these people's thought processes are.

As a second reason, I guess that, probably, there still are some that wonder at Hange’s alleged incompetence as commander, without taking into account that what they were dealing with as commander of the SC weren’t mindless titans or Paradis’ politics any more, but a world-wide racial conflict backed by a two-thousand years long history of hatred between Eldians and the rest of the world. And while their only external ally, Hizuru, wouldn’t raise a finger to actually help them but only thought about exploiting their predicament for their profit, they also had to deal with Eren, which suddenly turned their back to them, and decided to attack Liberio, thus cutting away forever whatever hope they might have had of resolve things peacefully. Ah, yes, how incompetent of Hange not having been able to resolve all this.

As regards the Levi towards Hange part, then, I see that there are some persons who not only hate the ship, but would also try in every way to downplay, or deny the significance of Levi and Hange relationship in the story. There’s no point in engaging in this kind of hateful discourse, I think.

Getting to what was Isayama’s purpose about Hange, and why did he choose to show them like that… Well, very simply, I think Isayama needed the Rumbling to happen in this story. Also, and this is what’s troubling me, I kinda got the impression that his intention was to make the Rumbling look like something unavoidable, the only realistic solution Paradis had. As a consequence of this, anyway, he couldn’t have other characters, such as Hange, having concrete plans and solutions for all this mess (except for Zeke’s euthanasia plan, which however was supposed to be thought of as an unacceptable and cruel plan by the majority of the readers). It had nothing to do with reducing Hange’s character, and showing them in a bad light, nor with any other character not having been able to confront Eren (till Mikasa killed him), and having Eren had his own way till the end. All this is about the story Isayama wanted to draw, what kind of obscure message he’s trying to convey, and where his sympathies lie.

As regards what I think in particular about Hange’s arc post time-skip, and their role as commander, you can read my thoughts in this meta and here.

[shananigans402]

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2. 

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt 

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad. 

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko 

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!​

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home. 

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive. 

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady. 

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated? 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations. 

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone. 

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer. 

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely 

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans. 

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

[onlyhereforangst]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by @indestinatus 💕

tagging whoever wants to go thru this journey with me & see their accomplishments in this terrible terrible year!

1. List of works published this year:

Oh god there’s a lot, like 70 total in just 2020. I’ll try to categorize them so this doesn’t get too long 😅but here’s a cut for aesthetic on your dash.

Sequels/Partner Fics: Risk It All (for @hellokaelyn), Finally Home (to Come Back), They Always Do & Could She?, Lucky Day & Completely Yours, Fiery Trance (Two Can Play series), Obsessed (Particular Taste), Soul (to Ignited)

Smut: My Turn (sequel to My Pleasure), Worth It, Maybe We Should, Make it a Double (also a fic request), Shall We (AU)

Fic Requests: Coffee Run, Hold Still, Typical, Deal, Needed It, I’m Home, For Science, Cry Me A River, From Your Dreams (AU), Crystal Clear, Tempt Me, Your Fault, Prove It, Silent Proclamation, A Hundred Suns (angst smut), Duly Noted

Stand Alones: No More, Never Let Her Go, Life is Fragile, Pandemics & Peach Drinks, To Need and Be Needed, Never Let Go, Coming Home, Priceless, Behind The Mask, Need a Hand?

Angst: My Daisy, Status Quo, Can I Stay, I Refuse, Deal

Series/Multi-chaptered: Back Off (Better Apart, Missed The Mark, Change Her Mind, But You Do, Layered Love), Electrified (Don’t Stop (Senorita)), Here By Faith, Forgive & Forget, Angstober ‘20 (Never Has & Never Will, Only In My Head, Long, Long Gone, Do Something, Take Care, Waiting to Burn, Survive the Hell, Find Her, Never Ended Well, At All Costs, One Thing Right, Stay Away, Echoed Back, Smart Man, Not Interested, Flake Again, Release, Slipping Away)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Here By Faith mainly because of the topic. Pregnancy & Infant loss has been such a taboo topic for so long and something I have personal experience with so writing this was very therapeutic. 

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Shall We and only because I truly wanted way more plot in this and it turned out to be essentially just straight smut with a tiny bit of plot. But it is what it is 🤷🏻‍♀️

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Ok I had 70 fics to choose from not breaking down chapters so I’m sure I’m missing something, BUT I do love - omg typing this out I realized it’s from a fic in 2019 so I can’t use iiiiiit 😩 ok so here’s a couple excerpts. I loved typing out this stream of conscious partner fics (They Always Do & Could She?):

They Always Do:

Yet this time, this time she didn’t have the chance to rebuild. Like a Trojan horse, he waltzed right up to her and slowly dismantled her defense. Joke by joke, smirk by smirk—Nick took each brick down with care. The worst part? It was so subtle, so thoughtfully done, she didn’t even notice it was happening. Didn’t see her chest being pried open, beating heart on display for him to see, and take. Never realized her greatest defenses were missing until it was too late.

That love- precious, fragile, delicate love- had managed to grow again. In her desolate, cold heart, Nick managed to bring to life an emotion she had long given up on. An emotion she was too afraid to ever feel again. Because with it came agony.

They leave, and you’re abandoned- picking up the pieces of a shattered heart.

When you love, you lose. Always.

Could She?:

But-

Even if that was love, even if he loved Ellie with his whole heart, his entire being. Was that enough? Was Nick enough? Was he deserving?

A resounding no clanged around his skull like a church bell in a Southern town on Sunday morning. He wanted to silence it, stop the shrill metal sound that started any time he pictured forever. Any time he truly thought he might deserve to love, even after all he’d done. After all the unimaginable things he’d done, the horrors he’d seen, the pain he’d caused. That bell sounded, loud and clear.

How did he deserve love when he couldn’t bear to love himself?

[...]

Could she love him despite all his misgivings? Could she love him even when he didn’t love himself? Could she love him when there was a risk he’d be taken from her too soon?

Could she?

Please love me.

But please be sure.

There’s been a couple of other inner monologues that I have absolutely loved (I like to think it’s semi my speciality? But maybe that’s super arrogant of myself?) but that’s a different post for another time.

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I said it recently but I *love* when people pick out specific line(s) from my fic and choose to comment on those. More often than not it’s a line I was so proud of either prose-wise or foreshadowing-wise or whatever and I get literally giddy with excitement that someone not only noticed it but also loved it enough to comment on it 🥰but truly any kind of comment is dopamine-inducing 😉

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

As some people may have noticed (& maybe not because I did still semi-run the other main ellick blog despite it) I was somewhat absent for most of the summer/fall. I struggled for the first time in my life with mental health issues, borderline depression after being in a shit work environment, an essential worker with a company that claimed to “care” about us, a community that I once loved but showed their true colors in the midst of the pandemic & election, add in a rough pregnancy & it was a recipe for disaster. I didn’t want to even move from the couch most days let alone write. 

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I had a lot of fun writing short excerpts from different characters’ perspectives (Jimmy, Kasie, McGee & Gibbs) in my Angstober series & honestly wouldn’t mind doing that again!

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

Honestly not sure, I think I’ve just generally grown as a writer - better descriptions & descriptors, better dialogue, better plots. But that could all be me seeing things 😂

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I’d love to look into writing more seriously. My husband is convinced I could write an episode script or a novel, so I may look into trying my hand at that (even though I feel I’d be god-awful at it 😅)

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Hmmmm I always appreciate the support I’ve gotten from the ellick fandom despite it being rough this year for us, wonderful people like @erinchristmaselvis, @thekeyboardninja, @hellokaelyn & @wanna-be-bold are always there to either hear me vent or cheer me on ☺️

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

Haaaaah yes. Lots of it (but I bet you can’t tell because I only add mini snippets so have fun finding those easter eggs 😏)

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Always, always, always write for YOU. Not for anyone else, the kudos, hits, comments, none of it. Write for YOU. And I say this as a reminder to myself as well, it’s so hard to get bogged down in that dopamine-induced craze we search for in recognition but it’s so important to not externally validate yourself rather internally validate yourself on baby steps of growth & accomplishment. 

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

LOL how about all my WIPs? All of those stories I started forever ago that people call me out on not finishing months later when I swear they’ve forgotten about them 😬

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Hmmmm lemme pick one from each category because I’m indecisive 😉

Sequel/Partner Fics: Lucky Day & Completely Yours (the aaaaangst)

Smut: a tie between Maybe We Should & Make it a Double

Fic Request: A Hundred Suns (because I love me some angst smut)

Stand Alones: Pandemics & Peach Drinks (hahahaha because this was in an Insider news article at the start of the pandemic hahaha so on brand #2020)

Angst: My Daisy (I looooooove this one, but also all of the angst category lol)

Series/Multi-chaptered: literally not one of these is finished and they’re all heavy angst so take your pick 😂

15. Year word count: 103,050 in 2020 which seems like so little 😅

Here’s to 2021 being the year I finish WIPs! she says knowing she’s lying

[selfcareparker]

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

[taetaespeaches]

favorite albums of twenty-twenty:

I’m indecisive, so disclaimer lol. But I wanted to be self-indulgent for a moment and share my very favorite albums of 2020. In a year where I felt both alone and lonely, music was massively important to me. I tried to limit this to my top ten but I’m too indecisive and a lot of amazing music came out this year so there’s eighteen albums lol. Why not. So yeah, enjoy or ignore, I just had the urge to do this. (This isn’t in order except BE, D-2, Maria, and Map of the Soul: 7 are all definitely in the top five.)

Also, if you see this and want to do your own, tag me! I’d love to see your top albums <3 

↬ BE — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Telepathy, Blue & Grey, Fly To My Room, Disease, Life Goes On

I mean come on. This was the pandemic album we all needed and I will forever be grateful for this masterpiece. I think this is an album that will grow with me and will kind of act as a companion throughout my life. The musicality, the lyrics, the variety, all of it, it’s just perfection. It feels like a friend who gives you comfort but also makes you confront your emotions, and that was everything I needed this year. I will forever be obsessed with this one. BE is my friend. 

↬ D-2 — Agust D

⟶ Top Tracks: People, Moonlight, Daechwita, What do you think?, Dear my friend

Agust D came back and he fucking owned it. The amount of pure talent and passion in this mixtape is un-fucking-real. Yoongi is just unbelievably talented and this album perfectly displays that. Plus, these songs have been my ride or die since May, like, there isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t listen to this album in full at least once. Just incredible. 

↬ María — Hwasa

⟶ Top Tracks: LMM, Maria, Intro: Nobody Else, WHY, I’m bad too

This album is so connected to my fucking soul. I swear, Ahn Hyejin and I’s emotions are so similar and the way we process them is soooo similar, this album just honestly means the world to me. Plus, it’s amazing. Every song is a masterpiece. Obsessed. Much like D-2, I listen to this album at least once a week. And the number of times I have cried listening to it is unreal. Intro: Nobody Else is very much how I felt this year and LMM has made me cry more times than I care to admit. This album makes me feel what I’m feeling, gives me comfort, and helps me pick myself back up again. Another one that will grow with me. This year through the loneliness and in times that I felt I had no one, this was my companion.  

↬ MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 — BTS

⟶ Top tracks: Black Swan, Interlude : Shadow, My Time, ON, Friends, Moon, We are Bulletproof: the Eternal, Outro : Ego

Come onnnnnn. Perfection!!!! Quite literally the album that has been there with me through every step of this pandemic. I still cry watching the Ego mv. Why? No clue, just makes me sob tears of happiness. Black Swan? Possibly one of my very favorite songs EVER. OF ALL TIME. My Time? Relatable as fuck. Friends? The cutest thing I’ve ever heard. Moon? I’m sobbing again, that’s my emotional support Seokjinnie. Just, the album is a goddamn masterpiece, I don’t care who disagrees, my opinion is fact on this one.

↬ love is not dying — Jeremy Zucker

⟶ Top tracks: full stop, oh, mexico, hell or flying, lakehouse

Jeremy is another one that I just feel emotionally related too. Like I just get what he says and means and it hits me right in the heart and mind and gut. Another companion album. I think full stop is one of the most relatable songs I’ve ever heard- lyrically and the way it builds and becomes a bit chaotic… like whoah. I feel that in my chest. Also, oh, mexico is another song I related to so hard this year. This album has just made a massive impact on me and I love it.

↬ folklore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: seven, peace, the lakes, the 1

So Taylor surprised everyone with an album. What the fuck, ma’am? This is my second favorite Taylor album to date, second to only her second surprise album of the year. Like what? I’ve cried listening to this album and absolutely sobbed listening to seven. She just really popped off with this one and I don’t think I need to explain to you all why this album is so good. If you’ve heard it, you know.

↬ evermore — Taylor Swift

⟶ Top tracks: ivy, cowboy like me, long story short, coney island, gold rush

Oh here we have another surprise album, and now my favorite album by Taylor. I think this album perfectly displays Taylor’s insane lyricism better than any of her works. This album just hit really different for me, every song was my favorite on first listen and I still have the hardest time picking favorite tracks. It’s just beautiful and it’s great and I love it a lot.

↬ SAWAYAMA — Rina Sawayama

⟶ Top tracks: Fuck This World (Interlude), Tokyo Love Hotel, Bad Friend, Comme Des Garçons (Like The Boys)

Have you heard it? If so, you know why it’s on this list. Pop perfection. Rina is a goddess. That’s that. It’s just amazing. Rina is a visionary and this album displays that perfectly. Comme Des Garçons was the first song of hers I ever heard and I was immediately obsessed. Next level, this woman. A queen.

↬ Petals For Armor — Hayley Williams

⟶ Top tracks: Crystal Clear, Why We Ever, Over Yet

Wow. Just, bless Hayley for this. Crystal Clear has quickly become one of my very favorite songs ever and Why We Ever is a little too relatable. And I distinctly remember hearing Over Yet for the first time in May and feeling joy for the first time since the pandemic started. This album is one to listen to when you’re mad, sad, when you need comfort, or when you’re ready to heal. Honestly, another companion.

↬ Nectar — Joji

⟶ Top tracks: Like You Do, Your Man, Sanctuary, MODUS, Run, Mr. Hollywood

I could honestly list nearly every song on this as a top song. Holy shit. Joji is another visionary. He’s insane and I’m obsessed with this album. I swear, every time I listen a new song jumps out as a favorite. Like You Do is a song that just means so much to me. A masterpiece. This album is my go to when I’m looking to get into my feels. Also Daylight isn’t listed in the top tracks but what a fucking bop. I’m just in love with this album. For real, obsessed.

↬ Plastic Hearts — Miley Cyrus

⟶ Top tracks: Angels Like You, High, WTF Do I Know, Midnight Sky, Never Be Me, Plastic Hearts

I’ve never been like an avid listener of Miley, just a few tracks, but this year I got more into her. And this album, goddamn. Every song is a contender for top track. How does that happen? Midnight Sky? Huge for me this year. Like I cannot tell you how massive of an impact this song made on me. Angels Like You is such a perfect song. High is a little too relatable. Just seriously, wow. Kind of speechless, I just adore this album.

↬ Positions — Ariana Grande

⟶ Top tracks: pov, obvious, 34+35

The way I cried my first time hearing pov. Ari what are you doing to me? That song is just such a beautiful way to look at love and this whole album is just so healing. A happy spot on this whole year. 34+35 is a thot anthem and I’m obsessed. This album is just another example of Ariana’s talent and we were all blessed to be able to hear it.

↬ CALM — 5 Seconds of Summer

⟶ Top tracks: Wildflower, Lover of Mine, Best Years, Teeth, High

I don’t care if y’all think it’s cool to like 5sos or not, this album is so fucking good. It far exceeded my expectations. Some of these songs are some of my favorites for the year. Wildflower is a fucking happy pill and Best Years makes me fucking cry. High is too relatable, and Teeth may as well have been written about me. And Lover of Mine perfectly relates to the most important relationship of my entire life. I’m gonna say it, Luke Hemmings is such an underappreciated lyricist. The man is good. I love this album a lot. 

↬ Manic — Halsey

⟶ Top tracks: Finally // beautiful stranger, SUGA’s Interlude, Forever … (is a long time), 3am

I never really listen to Halsey so it took me a long time to give this album a try and wow I’m so glad I finally did. It became an instant fav. Honesty, anything Yoongi touches is a favorite for me so obviously that song would be in my tops, but Forever … (is a long time) is so relatable and just so fucking good. And Finally // beautiful stranger is honestly my favorite Halsey song ever. It’s stunning. This album is amazing. Period.

↬ Future Nostalgia — Dua Lipa

⟶ Top tracks: Pretty Please, Cool, Don’t Start Now

This album is just disco pop perfection and I’ve been obsessed all year. It’s the perfect album to listen to when you just wanna fucking dance and forget about all the shit that 2020 gave us. The perfect escape and it’s so so fun and the songs are just bops. I’ve probably listened to this album a hundred times because it’s just the perfect escape. If I wanna let go for a bit, this is my go to.

↬ Punisher — Phoebe Bridgers

⟶ Top tracks: I Know The End, Chinese Satellite, Garden Song

This album makes me feel some shit. Like holy hell we are in our feels. Phoebe’s songwriting is superb and these songs just hit. I honestly only listen to this album when I really need to get in touch with myself because it literally doesn’t allow me to avoid my feelings. But it’s pretty much perfection and I think it’s going to grow with me throughout the years. I just love it. I remember being blown away on my first listen, it’s just unbelievably good.

↬ Ungodly Hour — Chloe and Halle

⟶ Top tracks: Tipsy, Baby girl, Ungodly Hour

I don’t even know how to explain how good this album is. Like, have you heard it? You get it. These girls went the fuck off and all we can do is thank them for it. Thank you for your service ladies. This album is just a vibe from start to finish. And Ungodly Hour is one of the best title tracks of the year. That’s just that on that. Give them all the awards.

↬ IS ANYBODY OUT THERE? — DPR LIVE

⟶ Top tracks: OH GIRL, NO RESCUE NEEDED, KISS ME

This album isn’t just an album, it’s an experience. This man takes you on a musical journey. It’s a story. It’s flawless. I adore it. DPR LIVE is so underrated and I can’t wait for him to get the hype he deserves. This was the most surprising find this year and I’m so thankful I found it. Just so god. From start to finish, you just get sucked in and then it ends and you’re just left like, whoah. Amazing. 

[gabrielitas]

hi gabi :) it's your carat anon <3

first - for an emoji to refer to me, i choose 🐯 tiger

also, i am SO sorry it took me so long to send this first mission 😩😩😩 i was NOT sure what i was supposed to send and i was also busy today 😪

ok so i have a few icebreaker questions for you!

1) because it's a carat anon event, who is your bias(es) in seventeen? if you listen to other groups, who else do you bias?

2) do you listen to other genres outside of kpop? do you have a favorite out of those?

3) besides seventeen, who are some singers you like?(im a big fall out boy and mitski fan)

4) if you could live in any time period/place, where would you live? (the future is an option!)(for me it would be strasbourg, alsace (france) in 1518)

5) day or night? (i really like midday but the night is so mystical if you're out in it)

6) what's your time zone? i don't want to message you too late 😩😩 i’m in est (united states east coast)

have a good night/morning/afternoon!!

- 🐯anon

omg hi!! i am so so sorry it took me forever to reply to this!! (and literally don’t worry abt being late pls! i’ve been taking forever on these as well so we’re in the same boat sksnksns)

1) ok so: my biases r minghao, jihoon, wonwoo and mingyu (although i will admit that seungcheol has been looking incredibly huggable and cuddly as of late) who r ur biases? (i’m guessing soonyoungs on ur list from the emoji?)

2)outside of kpop i listen a lot to r&b (my most listened to artists r prob victoria monet, jessie reyez, and kali uchis) and rock (ive recently gotten into Måneskin but i also enjoy more classic stuff like ac/dc and stuff like that) i’m also a sucker for indie like girl in red, clairo, conan gray (idk if he’s still considered indie tho lol) i also listen to a good amount of hip hop/rap/spanish rap. what r ur fav genres outside of kpop?

3) OMG I LOVE MITSKI i literally just watched her tiny desk concert (her screaming into her guitar during class of 2013 is iconic) i listen to her music a lot, i just have to b in the right mood for it lol. i also went through a short lived emo music phase in freshman year where i basically only listened to panic at the disco, fall out boy and my chemical romance so while i haven’t listened to them so much recently i absolutely have a place in my heart for their music lol. i also rlly love beabadoobe (like, all of her songs) penelopes scott music is also incredible as is rico nasty (they have such different music styles but i guess that says something abt me ankssjskjs)

4) oooo so if i didn’t have to worry abt misogyny/racism/antisemitism/homophobia i’d prob either live in london in the 50s or the south of france in like 8 years (just giving the world enough time to truly b done with corona) also! that is such an incredibly specific place and date you’ve chosen, u have *got* to explain why u chose it!

5) omg thats so hard!!! i’m gonna b indecisive and say either early morning where ur up just after the sun has decided to peak out and the birds r chirping and there’s no one awake yet and the world is quiet for s moment, or like 3am on a warm summer night (b/c *yes* the night is mystical when u can truly experience it)

6) i’m also est! i’m northeast us, but dw abt sending an ask late, i stay up pretty late aldnkssnjs

ok now time for a few questions from me! do u have siblings? (and if so how many?) what’s the most recent tv show you’ve binged (or r in the process of bingeing) and what’s the most recent book u read that u rlly enjoyed?

i hope u have a good evening!!❤️