#only thing i am aware of / remember that i really feel was wrong is not crediting that indie game | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

love-quinn · 4 months ago

Text

— REPAYMENTS

summary — carmen accidentally loses his chance with you after you all-but ask him out. luckily for him, you're sitting two tables away from the kitchen he runs.

warnings — swearing, smoking, i think that's it?

pairing — carmen berzatto x fem!reader

pronouns — she/her, reader is explicitly mentioned to be a girl

word count — 2.2k

note — i am still finding my footing writing for carmen so this has just been trial and error, i hope you enjoy this!!! thank you for 100 followers, i appreciate it so much omg <333

It's fairly well-agreed upon that family and business should never be mixed. Whoever said that had probably never met Natalie Berzatto. His sister infuriates him, but if Carmen is being honest that’s usually because she’s just there. She doesn’t pick fights, but she will call him out on his bullshit, even if he doesn’t appreciate it in the moment. Out of all of his relatives to be closely working with, Sugar was probably his best option.

No, it was far more likely that the coiner of that phrase did meet Richie.

Carmen loved Richie deep down. He would do a lot for Richie, and he’s seen firsthand that Richie would do a lot for him. But it’s really hard to remember that when Carmen’s having to leave the kitchen to go and talk to a table because something’s gone wrong.

“‘I’ll handle it,’” he mocks Richie under his breath. “‘Calm the fuck down, Carmen, I’m Richie and I’ll handle it even though I’m fucking incompetent.’” He abandons his station to go out into the dining room, already feeling a headache brewing behind his eyes. “Handle it, my ass.”

It’s a fairly simple problem to sort out, just an old man who was bound to complain about something wanting to talk to the owner about it. Carmen smiles and nods and apologizes and makes a note to comp that part of the meal and go chain smoke about it later.

It’s not the interaction that causes Carmen’s chest to constrict, it’s what he sees on the way in.

Usually, Carmen is safely in the back. He stays in his section, he spends each night being hyper aware of everything that goes on in the kitchen, and he doesn’t have to worry about anything outside of the kitchen (it took a second for that last part to be true, but he does trust Richie and Natalie enough to handle things out in the dining room.

But of course he happens to be out in the dining room on the same night that you’re there.

He almost didn’t recognise you, the room isn’t very well-lit and he only met you once. It was about two weeks ago, but he’s thought about it quite a lot since. It had been two in the morning and he didn’t even remember what he’d needed but he’d ended up at the 24-hour convenience store down the street from his place.

The fluorescent lights had been flickering and you had been standing right in front of the refrigerator he needed. You had been browsing the fucking chips or something and Carmen was too busy controlling the tapping of his foot so you wouldn’t hear it.

“Sorry, am I in your way?”

His head snapped up, eyes locking with yours. “Yeah.”

You tried not to frown at his bluntness, just raising your eyebrows and moving out of the way. Carmen yanked open the fridge door, rubbing his face to stop his eyes from drooping closed. He’d just left the restaurant and just wanted milk before he went home. His hand dropped and he opened his eyes to look for the milk only to find the slider-shelf thing that contained his usual stuff was completely empty. “Fuck.”

You were a few feet away, still making your way down the aisle, but you glanced at him out of the corner of your eye. The last bottle of yellow-capped milk is currently sitting in the basket dangling from your elbow. You finished up and decided to just make your way to the front, cutting your losses about getting more snacks.

You’re not usually up at 2am, but one of your friends was stopping by in the city for a few days and the two of you had gotten home from a late movie still wanting to spend time together so you’d ducked down to the store for some more snacks.

You had put a few of your items on the counter for the store clerk to scan by the time he got to the front, and you pretend not to notice him. The clerk looked so exhausted you didn’t even try to make small talk, just flashing him a soft smile while he put your stuff in a plastic bag. While you were paying, the clerk turned his head to the guy behind you to see what he wanted.

It was the guy from the fridge and he mumbled something about cigarettes. The clerk handed you back your card and your receipt before turning back to the cabinet for the cigarettes.

Carmen didn’t even care they didn’t have the usual type he liked, he just needed a smoke soon or his chest would cave in. He slapped the bills on the counter, grabbed the pack and was out the door before you had turned around.

He smoked almost directly outside the door to the store, and you had to walk past him to get back to your building. Usually, when guys were dicks out in public to you, you’d ignore it and you’d move on. But this guy looked so defeated that you almost felt bad for him.

He was sitting on the sidewalk, head buried between his knees. You tried not to make it obvious that you were looking at him but he looked so sad that you felt a begrudging amount of empathy for him. You dug the bottle of milk out of your bag and put it on the sidewalk next to him.

Carmen’s head shot up at the sound, looking back and forth between you and the bottle. “What?”

“You look like you need it more than I do.” If you were being honest, it did make you feel a little smug that he was slightly rude to you earlier and now you were being nice to him, but it was mostly out of concern.

Carmen’s mouth was dry, and he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip, hauling himself to his feet with the bottle in hand. “No, you don’t have to do that. Take your milk.”

“I don’t even want it,” you said. “Seriously, dude.”

Carmen looked down at the bottle of milk in his hand. “Now I feel bad for being an ass.”

You nodded. “You should.”

Carmen gave a tired laugh and you finally noticed how bright his blue eyes were, even in the dark street. “I’m usually not. An asshole, I mean. Well, no, actually. I… am making this worse.”

You watched him, amused, and Carmen felt his throat constrict at the sound of your laugh. “Way to sell yourself. You’re really making a meal out of this, aren’t you?”

“It’s what I do best,” he said absentmindedly. “I’m, uh, Carmen.” He tried to shake your hand but with the cigarette in one and the milk in the other, he couldn’t find a way to do it. Then he had the thought that nobody shakes hands anymore, and felt stupid for the whole thing.

You weren’t in the habit of giving your name to strangers, especially not men you met outside the convenience store at two in the morning. “Just Carmen?”

Carmen hadn’t expected that to be your response, and he blacked out for a half second where he forgot his own last name, “Berzatto.”

“Carmen Berzatto.” You nodded, knowing to give the name to your friend later, just for safety. You told him your own name, not bothering to shake his hand.

You dug around in your purse quickly, grabbing your receipt and hoping you had a pen. You didn’t but you did find an old eyeliner in the bottom that would work. Carmen had taken a stance of leaning against the wall, smoking his cigarette and trying not to fall asleep standing up. If he was honest, he assumed you’d walk away after that, so he was surprised when he felt you press a piece of paper into his hand. “Your receipt. For the milk” Your smile was sweet and he didn’t even process that you’d scrawled your phone number on the back until you’d walked away.

That had been two weeks ago, and he hadn’t seen you since.

He bursts back through the kitchen. You’re sitting at table nine with two other women, and his number one priority is finding Richie. Or Natalie, someone who works out in the dining room and can do what he needs them to.

Richie, as if he heard Carmen’s mental plea, is right behind him. “I need two more mushroom risotto for table fifteen and for table nine-”

“Cousin,” Carmen interrupts. “The, uh, table nine. They’re not gonna pay.”

Richie took that the wrong way, leaning down to talk right in Carmen’s ear conspiratorially. “They’re dashers? You want me to take ‘em down? I’ll go out there and fuck them up, you give me two seconds and twenty dollars and I’ll-”

“Richie!” Carmen shoved him. “No, they’re…” He’s been so pissed off with Richie lately, more so than usual. He’d gone back to the restaurant the day after meeting you, dumping his jacket in his office, receipt on the desk with every intention to at least text you during his break.

And then Richie had spit his gum into the receipt and thrown it out.

“Listen. One of the girls, she’s… They’re just eating for free, okay?” Carmen lets himself sound desperate, maybe that will stop Richie from making fun of him.

Richie looks down at him, eyebrows raised. “You… alright, yeah. Good. Don’t make your girl pay. Good. Does she know you run this place?”

Carmen shakes his head. “No, I kinda messed things up with her. I need everything to go good tonight, okay? Can you do that for me?”

Richie saluted. “You got it, cousin. Food’ll be good she’ll forget what a massive prick you are.”

That’s probably the best he’s gonna get, so he takes it. Then, he gets to work. He gets your order from Richie and the kitchen makes it in record time. Then, when it’s done, Carmen makes sure he’s the one to run the food.

You didn’t know what you’d been expecting when your friends had invited you out to a new restaurant, but it hadn’t been to see the guy you’d met at a convenience store in the middle of the night to be presenting you with your meal.

You’d liked Carmen, but it had been a while and you only met him for a few minutes. Once the sting of rejection had worn off, you’d almost forgotten about the encounter. He puts your dinner in front of you and practically bows. “Carmen,” you muse, mostly just taken aback. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

“I’m the owner,” he says, trying to ignore the way your friends are looking at him. “I saw you and I… I’m not really good at this shit, but I, uh. I meant to call you.” He sounds earnest, and he looks somewhat embarrassed by the amount of eyes on him. “I wanted to, I just lost your number and I didn’t know how else to talk to you but I wanted to call you.”

You watch Carmen as he speaks and the longer you’re silent, the worse he feels about it. He can’t read the expression on your face and he’s really regretting insisting that he walked your meals, he should’ve just sent Richie. But he also knew that it would seem more genuine if he did it in person.

“So far you’re oh-for-two in terms of not looking like an asshole,” your tone is light and a bright smile is worming its way onto your face. Your lipgloss shines under the light and Carmen can’t stop looking at it.

Carmen swallows, wiping his hands as inconspicuously on his pants. “Would it make it better if I told you that I already got your meals comped?”

“I mean,” you say, tilting your head up at him. “Yeah, that’ll do it, yeah.”

“I owe it to you,” he points out. “For the milk. Let me just go grab your receipt, enjoy your meals.” He flashes an awkward smile over at the two women you’re with, not noticing the way you’re looking up at him.

He walks away and your eyes follow him back into the kitchen. You had just assumed he didn’t really like you, so the idea that maybe he liked you so much he was willing to give you complimentary meals slightly overwhelmed you. Your friends swarm you the second he’s gone and you relay your very limited history with Carmen.

You almost forgot what it feels like to be in the earliest stages of romance. Slightly awkward flirting, fleeting glances, the butterflies in your stomach when you realize that the other person likes you just as much as you like them.

You don’t know much about Carmen aside from the fact that he’s apparently an insomniac who owns and runs a restaurant, has really pretty eyes and likes you. That was the part that got you. He likes you enough to come out and talk to you.

In fact, he likes you so much that once he goes back in the kitchen he dodges Richie’s attempts at a high five, and prints out your now-free bill. He likes you so much that he digs through his desk for the only working pen to scribble something on the bottom where the tip number would usually be. And, something that makes you positively giddy, he likes you so much that when he hands you the check with his number printed towards the bottom.

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto fic #the bear fx

388 notes · View notes

haru-dipthong · 7 months ago

Text

The difference between あのー and えーっと

As I touched on in my japanese goncharov post, it’s amazing how much novel research, entertainment, and art are locked behind a language barrier. Even though as english speakers, we are privileged to have many things translated into our language, it’s a simple fact that most things will not be translated into most languages.

I am a huge fan of ゆる言語学ラジオ, a japanese podcast about linguistics. The hosts recently released a book, 言語沼, which goes into detail about some of the subconscious rules native japanese speakers follow but aren’t consciously aware of (an english equivalent might be that adjective-ordering rule we follow e.g. big brown cow, not brown big cow). I’m finding it fascinating, and I wanted to discuss some of it here in english, because I think people learning japanese would find some of these things really useful. It’d be a shame if this knowledge stayed stuck behind the japanese language barrier when the people who would find it the most useful can’t speak japanese fluently enough to read it!

The book talks about how most Japanese people will think of 「あのー」 and 「えーっと」 as having the exact same meaning - they’re both “meaningless” filler words. Despite their belief that they’re the same, those same native speakers will subconsciously only use あのー in one particular type of situation and 「えーっと」 in another, and even feel confused or annoyed if they hear another speaker use one in the wrong context.

So what’s the actual difference? 「えーっと」 is used when the speaker is taking time to remember or solve something. For example, the following exchange is very natural:

Person A: 7 x 5は？ Person B: えーっと、35だ

This makes it a pretty versatile filler word! You can use it pretty much anywhere. Another example would be when you’re talking to yourself, trying to remember where you left your keys.

えーっと、鍵どこ置いたっけ？

On the other hand, あのー is much more specific. It can only be used when you’re taking time to figure out the best way to phrase something. For example, when you’re trying to get a stranger’s attention.

あのー、ちょっといいですか？

In contrast, if Person A was addressed with 「えーっと、ちょっといいですか？」by Person B, they’d feel it was rude because instead of considering how to say something, B is considering what to say, which gives the impression that they hadn’t even figured out what they needed to ask before addressing Person A.

This gives 「あのー」 a more ”polite” feeling than 「えーっと」, even though neither is actually more polite than the other. They’re just used in different circumstances.

Let’s quickly look at the example with the lost keys again. If you replace the filler word:

あのー、鍵どこ置いたっけ？

It is very unnatural. The authors of the book jokingly say that it sounds like you’re talking to a ghost, because 「あのー」 is only used when you’re figuring out how to phrase something, and you wouldn’t worry about that if you’re talking to yourself.

Also, did you know even japanese children properly use each filler word in the correct situation? Despite almost all japanese people (even as adults) being unaware of this rule, they’re subconsciously abiding by it even as children - just from listening to their parents follow the same rules!

It really is amazing how good your subconscious mind is at acquiring language, and how terrible your conscious mind is at it. If you’re not already, I highly recommend integrating a lot of simple language content (e.g. youtube, kids shows, etc) into your study routine - listening to people talk is simply the fastest way to become fluent in your target language.

#langblr #japanese #language learning #language acquisition #japanese language #language #linguistics #learning japanese #japanese grammar #jimmy blogthong #official blog post

472 notes · View notes

spacebarbarianweird · 11 months ago

Note

I've found a few fics that hc that Astarion purrs when he's happy (Catstarion supremacy lol). Do you think he might if he felt safe enough with Tav?

I am 100% on board with that! I know that bats purr a little bit different from cats but it's not like bats=vampires.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Purring Astarion

Vampires can purr.

They purr when they are safe, happy, and content.

Like cats.

But have you ever seen a happy vampire?

Never. It's as rare as a vampire who can walk in the sunlight.

They suffer. They starve. They hate themselves.

They are tortured. Beaten. Hunted.

They are never safe enough to do so.

Astarion's life used to be hell. There wasn't a single good thing in his pathetic existence.

But he is free now. Cared. Loved.

He can do whatever he wants.

And he isn't alone. He has a person to hold, to talk to, and to share his feelings with.

Who can sit for hours playing with his curls while he trauma-dumps them about the most horrible events of his life.

Astarion learns about new ways of intimacy - bathing together, holding hands, cuddling.

One day, he wakes up after an especially bad nightmare. He doesn't remember what exactly he saw, but it was so unsettling he scratches his skin with his sharp nails.

When you return and see Astarion like that, you place him above you like a weighted blanket.

Pressing his head against your chest and stroking his back.

Your heartbeat and breathing soothe him, and he stops crying.

You lie like that for what seems like an eternity in silence.

He is happy.

At this moment, he realizes that the last six months have become a counterweight to two hundred years of misery.

Astarion relaxes and feels like falling asleep.

You hear a weird sound, as if there was a big cat beside you.

Purring.

You hug Astarion tighter and realize the purring comes from his chest and throat.

He probably isn't even aware of it.

The sound is nice and pleasant, but the very idea is hilarious, and you burst out laughing.

"What - What is this?" Astarion elbows up, staring at you. "Did I do something wrong?"

There is a weird sensation in his throat, and he shakes his head in disbelief.

"You were purring! Like a cat!"

Astarion is shocked.

It's not like he is fond of the idea that his body reacts so openly to feeling good.

(As if having an erection any time you do something playful wasn't enough to embarrass him).

But all his doubts fade into the background as he realizes how much you like it.

It's like having a big cat in your bed who doesn't try to run away if you squeeze it too hard.

And it's a good indication if Astarion really feels good or just pretends.

Sometimes, you think he feels off, only to hear soft purring from his chest.

Sometimes everything is great, but you don't hear this pleasant vibration.

And you also soon realize that if you make Astarion sit between your thighs, his back pressed against your chest, and start playing with his ears and curls, he immediately starts purring.

Safe, loved, protected. Like a happy cat.

Bonus:

You and Astarion have a dhampir-daughter

You two wonder how many vampiric traits your daughter has inherited.

Will she be able to walk on ceilings? Will she have fast regeneration?

You will find it later, but now you have a newborn girl, who isn't really fond of the idea of being pushed into this unpredictable world.

Once you finish the first breastfeeding session, the girl closes her dark eyes…

And start purring like a tiny kitten.

Tag list @tragedybunny @caitlincat-95 @tallymonster @astarionsbeloved @lumienyx @fayeriess @elora-the-slutty-songstress @veillsar @astarion-imagine-archive @micropoe10 @starlight-ipomoea @herstxrgirl @theearthsfinalconfession @ashrio20 @not-so-lost-after-all @vixstarria @wintersire @marcynomercy

979 notes · View notes

novaursa · 2 months ago

Note

Can I request a Jacaerys Velarion x sister?

where she follows her brother Lucerys against her mother's orders

Seeing Aegon on Vhagar she intercepts her beloved younger brother in the storm and orders him to hide, saving his life. she on her dragon attacks Aegon and Vhagar. They fight in the fierce storm injuring them forcing them to escape. She and her dragon were so tired that they fell.

The next day Lucerys finds her badly injured unable to wake up. with her dragon growling at Lucerys and trying to calm him down to try and get her sister to safety with the maesters. She is in a coma due to the blow but not bad enough to die. but when she wakes up she remembers nothing, not even her brother, mother, and brother/husband. Just remember that his dragon is always with him, he always escapes from his chambers to be near him and when they want to take her to his bedrooms she doesn't want to and when he sees that they are forcing her, his dragon tries to unfederate her. Please

Between Sky and Sea

Requests are closed!

- Summary: You disobeyed your mother and went after Luke. You wake with no recollection of it.

- Paring: (wife) sister!reader/Jacaerys Velaryon

- Note: The reader is bonded with Vermirhor. I had to bend this request really badly so I can make a plot of it in just 1000 words. There is too much going on.

- Rating: Mild 13+

- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne

The ache in your body feels like it belongs to someone else, foreign and distant, tugging at the edges of your awareness. You stir in the silence of your chambers, eyes fluttering open, the world slow to come into focus. The first thing you notice is the weight of the blankets wrapped around you, heavy and stifling, your limbs weak as you try to shift beneath them. The air is filled with the smell of herbs and smoke, a scent you recognize but can’t quite place.

You blink slowly, confusion clouding your thoughts. The room is dim, lit only by the faint flicker of candlelight. Shadows stretch across the walls, their movement almost hypnotic, as if swaying to a rhythm you cannot hear. Your head feels heavy, your mind sluggish. Something is wrong—something happened.

But what?

A sudden warmth at your side pulls you from the fog in your mind. Turning your head, your gaze lands on him—Jacaerys. His dark curls fall in disarray around his face, his features tight with worry, the strain of sleepless nights evident in his expression. He sits close, his hand clasping yours, as if he’s afraid to let go.

“Y/N,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper, raw with relief and something deeper. “You’re awake.”

You try to speak, but your throat is dry, your voice nothing more than a rasp. “Jace…”

His hand tightens around yours. “Don’t strain yourself. You’ve been… asleep for some time.”

As his words sink in, fragments of memory begin to stir, faint and elusive. You remember Vermithor, his powerful roar as it echoed across the skies, the feeling of his scales beneath your hands, the steady rhythm of his flight. There was fire—so much fire—and a rush of wind, the sensation of falling…

But that’s all. Beyond Vermithor, everything is a haze.

“I… I don’t remember,” you murmur, frowning as the strain of trying to piece the broken memories together makes your head throb. “What happened? Why… why am I here?”

Jacaerys looks away for a moment, his jaw tight, before meeting your gaze again. “You don’t remember anything?”

You shake your head, frustration bubbling in your chest. “I remember Vermithor. I remember flying with him. But after that… it’s all gone.”

A shadow passes over his face, something dark and painful flickering in his eyes. “Storm’s End,” he says quietly. “You flew to Storm’s End. Mother—she told you to stay here, but you didn’t listen. You… you went to save Luke.”

Your heart skips a beat at the mention of Luke, and for a brief, dizzying moment, images flash through your mind—Luke, small and fragile in the stormy skies, the massive form of Vhagar looming over him, the thunderous beat of wings. You gasp, your hand instinctively reaching for your chest as the memory claws at you.

“I—” Your voice breaks, the words caught in your throat. “I remember… Aemond. He was going to—” Your breath hitches, panic beginning to rise as the pieces start to fall into place. “I tried to stop him. I had to stop him.”

Jacaerys' grip on your hand is firm, grounding you. “You did,” he says, his voice steady but strained. “You fought him, Y/N. You and Vermithor… you fought off Vhagar. You saved Luke.”

Relief floods through you, but it’s short-lived as Jace continues, his expression darkening. “But… you fell. From the saddle.”

The weight of his words presses down on you, the memory returning in a rush—a violent jolt, your fingers slipping from the reins, the ground rushing up to meet you. The sensation of falling, of helplessness, seizes your chest, and you feel your stomach twist.

“I… fell?” Your voice is small, disbelief and confusion lacing every word.

Jace nods, his jaw clenched. “Vermithor tried to catch you, but it was too late. You hit the water hard. They pulled you from the sea, Y/N. You’ve been unconscious ever since.”

You close your eyes, the enormity of what he’s saying sinking in. You should have died. By all rights, you should be dead. But here you are, alive, your brother at your side, the weight of the world suddenly so much heavier on your shoulders.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, your voice trembling. “I disobeyed mother. I should have—”

“Don’t,” Jace interrupts, his voice firm, but there’s a tenderness in his eyes that quiets the guilt swirling inside you. “Don’t apologize. You saved Luke. If you hadn’t… I don’t want to think about what could’ve happened.”

For a moment, the room is quiet, save for the soft crackle of the fire and your own uneven breathing. Jace’s hand never leaves yours, his touch warm and steady. There’s a vulnerability in his eyes that you’ve rarely seen before, a rawness that makes your heart ache.

“You scared me,” he says finally, his voice soft. “I thought I’d lost you.”

You meet his gaze, your heart tightening at the weight of his words. You’ve always known how much he cares for you—Jace, your brother, your husband—but seeing the depth of his fear, of his love, laid bare before you now, it’s almost overwhelming.

“I’m here,” you say softly, squeezing his hand. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He exhales shakily, and before you can say anything else, he leans forward, pressing his forehead to yours. The gesture is simple, but it’s filled with a quiet desperation, a need for reassurance that you’re still here, still his. You close your eyes, letting the warmth of his presence wrap around you, grounding you in the moment.

After a long moment, he pulls back, his eyes searching yours. “I won’t let you go again,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “I swear it.”

You smile faintly, your heart full despite the lingering pain in your body and the confusion in your mind. “I’ll hold you to that.”

As the silence stretches between you, the only sound is the steady rhythm of your breaths, syncing together in the dim light of the room. The weight of the past fades for a moment, and all that matters is that you’re here, together, safe—for now.

But even as you rest in the comfort of his presence, a part of you aches for Vermithor. You can feel him, somewhere far away, restless and agitated. You will have to see him soon.

#house of the dragon #hotd x reader #hotd #hotd x y/n #hotd x you #jacerys velaryon #jace x y/n #jace x you #jace x reader #jace velaryon #jacaerys x y/n #jacaerys x you #jacaerys x reader #hotd jacaerys #jacaerys targaryen

317 notes · View notes

wh0reforcoriolanussnow · 11 months ago

Text

I Know it Won’t Work || Tom Blyth x singer!reader

Summary: You and Tom break up after three years of dating and you perform a song about the truth of the breakup for the first time live.

Warnings: slight age gap, reader is 23 and Tom is 30

Wc: 658

A/n: these r addicting to make lol. Also, changed up some lyrics for the sake of the storyline making sense. 2/4? Fics I’m posting today!

Tom Blyth x singer!reader au masterlist

Divider by @pommecita

You let out a shaky breath, "I left you here, heard you keep the extra closet empty," You sing the first words of your unreleased song to the crowd. "In case this year, I come back and stay throughout my twenties, what if I won't? How am I supposed to put that gently?" You had just freshly turned 23 and broken up with Tom.

You honestly don't know how you ended up here, in-front of a crowd of hundreds in London. Performing in front of people was the last thing you wanted to do at the moment but you had to keep a strong front for your supporters, this show was highly anticipated.

"I've had the thought, tried to work it out through anxious pacin'" Your biggest coping mechanism was writing songs. You never knew how to really express your emotions in sentences to someone, so instead, you write them into songs. Your real feelings and emotions laced into words that in the end, formed a song.

"But it's a lot, all the shine of three happy years fadin'" The crowd watched in silence, partly because it was a new song and they did not know the lyrics to sing along, but also because they were mesmerised. Your voice held so much emotion.

Your fans weren't aware that the two of you have broken up, but a few had already pieced it up. "The whole facade, seemed to fall apart, it's complicated." Everyone viewed you and Tom as the power couple, deeply in love with one another with no flaw or doubt in the relationship

While half of it was true, the other half wasn't. The seven year age gap different had been brought up so many times throughout your relationship. You remember the first time the two of you got together, you were 20 and he was 27.

You both received heavy backlash from the internet but the two of you ignored them all. They weren't the ones in the relationship, they weren't the ones to make the call about whether or not you should be together.

"And part of me wants to walk away 'till you really listen, I hate to look at your face and know that we're feelin' different," As the three years went by, uou hoped you weren't the only one in the relationship that doubted a few things. You didn’t want to admit that other people's comments were getting to you. As the three years progressed with Tom, you felt as if you were just both in such different phases of life.

You were still so young in your early twenties and fresh in your career while it seemed that Tom was ready to settle down, marry, and start a family. He would always mention starting a family and you would listen, not really knowing what to say to him.

But recently, you came into terms with the truth that both you and Tom don't share the same feelings or goals at the moment. "Cause part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" You loved Tom, parts of you still do. He never did anything wrong, he was everything you could have ever wished for. You like to think of him as the right person, wrong time.

But nothing was going to change the fact that you two were just in different stages of life. Nothing will change the seven year age gap between the two of you. "I know we cut all the ties, but you're never really leavin'"

Tom hasn't left your mind. It would've been easier if he did. But he just couldn't. "And part of me wants you back, but, I know it won't work like that, huh?" Your voice slightly cracks, a single tear drop runs down your face. Eyes closed, you let it. The dewy stream your tear left—accentuated with the bright lights focused on you—did not go unnoticed.

672 notes · View notes

webslingingslasher · 10 months ago

Note

love frat peter with all my heart but i literally think i would bash my head against the wall (not bf peter situationship peter)

*cleaning out my inbox.*

‘if i was my friend, i would be calling them an idiot for getting played and being pathetic. yet, here i am, swearing it’s different and no one gets him like i do.’

a deep sigh. ‘i’m a fucking joke.’

peter can find the bliss in being ignorant, but sometimes he forgets that you live in it too, and can pull him right out of his trance and into reality.

this was one of those times. it wasn’t meant for his ears, he was just at the right place at the wrong time.

there’s nothing blissful about being aware you’re just a bad decision. and what a corner he’s backed himself into, would it hurt more to end it before you start to resent him or hurt more to keep continuing the same path, even if it’ll end in what you want?

would you still want him? or is he just subconsciously showing you how bad of a boyfriend he’d really be?

peter’s a lot of things, and since he’s met you, he’s become one more.

selfish.

it's not lost on him, peter can pretend to be stupid but he's smart enough to know what's actually going on under the surface. it's just nice in the blanket of ignorance.

'hey, stop being so mean to yourself. peter likes you, a lot. even if he pretends he doesn't.' your roommate is fighting for him, he's about to bring her a "just because" gift card.

'no, no, no, no! don't cry! stop crying!' peter's heart lurches, he wants to break the door down and give you a hug, especially when he can hear how watery your voice is.

'that's the whole fucking point! i mean, where do i get off on thinking that? i get he doesn't want to sit around and have a feelings party, but it would be really fucking nice to hear him say he wants to date me. or anything really.'

'hey,' peter's heart races, he's not sure what your roommate is about to admit to. 'remember a few weeks ago the frat had the black and red party, you skipped cause you were sick? - right, well, peter got fucking wasted and kept talking about you.'

a sniffle, no more tears. 'really? what'd he say?'

her boyfriend was one of the guys he talked to all night long, no doubt she got all the same information second hand. she could spill or she could let it mean something and let peter get there first.

peter could put aside his ego for ten minutes. if only to make you feel better.

'well, he-' before he could get thrown under the bus, he knocks on your door. 'hold on-' your roommate answers, you offer no movement, staring at the floor with your back turned.

she's looking at him expectantly, peter tilts his head towards you. 'wanna let me handle this one?' it's instant, your head whips around, the look on his face lets you know he heard everything.

'no, go away.'

peter sighs, 'trouble.'

'no, cause i already know what you're going to say.'

'no, you don't know what i'm about to say.'

tears blot at your eyes, your roommate ditches you in a second. peter approaches slowly while you're crawling up your bed. 'don't-' you take a sharp breath, 'don't even say anything cause i know i won't wanna hear it.'

you stare at your roommates side when peter takes a seat next to you, he's inches away, you feel too vulnerable to face him. you already know what he's about to say, that he likes hanging out with you and it typically starts and ends there.

'hey, trouble. you wanna look at me?'

you shake your head, it's pointless because peter's already cupping your face pulling it towards his. 'ready?' you pull his hands off you by tugging at his wrists, a grouchy persona took over.

'for the same conversation? sure, peter.'

'i like you.'

you wait for the friendly twist he always likes to slide in. 'i like you, you're pretty cool, you know?' but it doesn't come. peter ended it on that, you peek back at him, he doesn't seem as scary as before.

'yeah? and?'

peter reaches out to brush his thumb across your cheek. 'that's what i said at the party. that i like you.' a flash of disappointment, he moves past it. 'and that's only because i wanted to save this next part just for you.'

attention caught, blown pupils look into his own.

'i want you to be my girlfriend,' he's quick to kill the light that roars in your eyes. 'wait, wait, wait, no, let me finish.' you feel like you're walking a tightrope.

'i like you and i want you to be my girlfriend, just... not yet. but that's what i want and that's kind of my end goal in this.'

a double ended sword, either you suffer in silence until he’s ready, or you suffer until you can’t stand it anymore and leave.

'that's it?' he couldn't have worded it in a way to get every single hope up, to make you feel weightless for an entire second before he pulled the rug?

'yeah, that's it.' what did you want? an i love you?

‘oh.’ you pull at the sleeves of your sweater to cover your hands. ‘oh?’ peter tries to catch your eyes, you sound more sad now than when you were crying.

‘i need time to think, i think.’

‘think about what?’

‘this.’ you gesture at the empty space between you. ‘us.’

peter’s turn, he understands. ‘oh.’ you nod, ‘yeah, oh.’ there’s an awkward pause in the room, neither of you quite sure what to say or where to go from there.

there was nothing peter could do, he’s just a person at your disposal. ‘um,’ think, peter, think. he wishes you weren’t hiding your eyes from him. ‘okay. that’s okay. we can…’ peter takes a big breath, he didn’t realize how much he didn’t want this until now. ‘… we can spend some time apart.’

‘okay.’ why weren’t you bothered? why weren’t you more upset? why were you so fucking indifferent?

peter feels selfish again, he just doesn’t know if he’ll get one again. ‘can i get a kiss before i go?’ you take a moment to make up your mind, peter wonders if you’re agreeing for the same reason. ‘yeah.’

no, it’s because he’s selfish. you don’t initiate anything, just frowning at your fingers as they curl and uncurl around the fabric of the sweatshirt he once owned.

‘i can’t kiss you if i can’t see you, trouble.’ a distant nod, ‘right.’ peter wishes he didn’t ask to look at you, he wishes he didn’t notice the blank look in your eyes. ‘are you okay, trouble?’

it’s soft, and delicate. he just wants to make you feel better, but he’s the one hurting you. it’s so utterly selfish, yet you want it too.

‘no.’ if you whisper it, it doesn’t hurt so bad. for either of you. you can both pretend it wasn’t said. ‘i’m sorry.’ there’s a lot to be sorry for, it’s just a blanket statement.

‘yeah.’ neither of you believe it. you just want him gone, you need to treat yourself like a friend. ‘kiss?’ peter wants to keep talking, but he can’t really find anything substantial to say.

it wasn’t very tender, or sweet. maybe it was the passion peter was missing, everything feels so sad. was this the answer before you said it? was this a goodbye kiss? if not, why did it feel like one?

peter pats your knee, ‘balls in your court, trouble. call me when you’re ready?’ you daintily nod, it’s like you’re in another world. ‘okay.’

you hold your eyes shut when peter kisses your forehead, it’s bullshit. ‘and if you need me, we can put this to the side, okay?’

‘okay,’ you push him back. ‘you can go now.’ peter has to swallow a lump in his throat, you’re eager to push him out and push him away. is this how you feel? is peter having a moment of clarity and empathy?

god, he’s a shitty human.

‘i don’t think im going to come over this week, so you can bring my laundry back.’ you were supposed to do it at his house, and you were supposed to wash your clothes with his, and you were supposed to fold them together.

you’re already thinking a week ahead? no, peter’s selfish, he’ll make you come back. ‘no problem. i’ll wash them for you, i’ll even clean out my second drawer to put ‘em in.’

he wants to do the thing you've been hinting at for weeks, now? is he really grasping at straws? what fucking happened? what changed? peter's not even going to give you a chance to fight it, you can't say no if he's not here.

'i'll talk to you later?' you nod. you can't even say it back? everything about this is wrong. but he can't fix it, not when you told him you needed to think about things, not when you're on the cusp of giving up on him.

peter can hear you sob into your pillow when he latches the door shut.

----

when you said you didn't plan on coming around this week, peter didn't think that meant speaking to him too. no texts, no snapchats, no dm's, no facetimes, no frat parties, nothing.

peter puked three times friday night, day six of the silent treatment. he swears it's because he was drinking too much but peter knows what anxiety feels like for him and how it comes out.

peter can also kiss the idea of sleep away. he's had four nightmares this week, two of them back to back. spider-man's been sluggish and now he has a nasty bruise across his jawline. nothing felt right.

since you last talked to him, peter's had a constant stomach ache and headache. not to mention how he's just not really hungry anymore and you've gotten really skilled at hiding from him.

peter knows he said the balls in your court, but what if you never pass it back?

day eight and all is saved.

'sleepover?'

peter swallowed his tongue at the text, you wanted to spend the night, that's a good thing, right? girls don't fuck and dump, right? peter's heart is drumming like it never has before, wagging his imaginary tail like a puppy dog he's never responded quicker.

'yes!' peter erases it. 'of course!!! i missed you so much i think i was dying and i really couldn't breathe and-' peter deletes that one too.

what's good enough to make you think you deserve this?

'you got it, trouble. wanna let me take you out to dinner for date night with your favorite frat boy?' maybe he's laying it on a little thick, but peter swears he's withering away without you next to him in bed.

'only if it's expensive.' peter will take out a loan if it means you'll have dinner with him, if all you want from him is a nice dinner, he'll do it. he'll do anything if it means you'll stay with him.

'only the best for my girl.' you read it, but didn't answer. peter took it a step further. 'i'll pick the place. i'll even borrow someone's car.' meaning, he was going somewhere nice. it did fine. 'just let me know what time to be ready, parker.' but it wasn't good enough.

peter may have been an asshole prior, because the way your face lit up with a ten dollar bouquet of flowers told him that he should've been doing this all along. if he had, he wouldn't have been here.

'for me?' you brought the cellophane to your nose, 'really?' they smell lovely, like they were actually picked out and not just the first thing he saw. 'of course. only the best for my baby.'

a flash in your eyes, but it doesn't work, not in the way it normally does. no, this time it seems to amuse you. he doesn't care, you look breathtaking and he's about to have his heart thump from his chest.

'i'm going to be the luckiest guy there tonight.' peter blurted it without thinking, but what's worse, or better, is that he truly believed it. he waited patiently when you set the flowers down, but couldn't hold it in the second you turned for him.

'can i have a hug?' touch starved and itching for your hold, you quirked a brow, were you waiting for a kiss? peter thinks kisses be damned, he'll pass out if he can't wrap you in his arms.

'sure-' before you could finish you're in his chest, his palms wash over your back, you're heated up in a second. you take a deep breath, he does the same.

there was a lot of reflecting, but a whole lot more missing. peter just couldn't hide his well. 'i'm sorry, but i missed you so fucking much.' your heart warms, you knew it.

'i did, too.' it's all that was needed, you felt peter match your breaths, one single unit, together. it's how peter thinks it should be, it's how it should be. he doesn't know how he could go back to not that.

you think he's about to kiss you, it's a different look in his eyes. instead, he brushes out your outfit and nods towards the door.

-----

peter feels like he's on the countdown, even more so when the bill came and you hadn't said a word about your week of recollection. you didn't bring it up on the way home, or when he stopped for dessert, or even when you got back to the chapter house.

but he still kept an arm around you when you chose to head for the kitchen instead of the stairs, peeking in and brightening up when you see your favorite brother at the island.

'ethan!' you were almost as happy when you got your flowers. almost. peter lightly pushed you forward, letting you get in a hug while he grabbed something to drink.

'you're looking very fancy tonight.' you curtsy and thank him, a gesture towards your date. 'peter's idea.' ethan reaches for a fist bump, peter gladly accepts.

you'd love to catch up but peter's antsy and you're not that mean. 'breakfast tomorrow?' you glance to peter, 'is that okay with you?' his tail starts wagging again, there's going to be a tomorrow. 'of course.'

ethan agrees, 'breakfast it is.' you share a look with him, a sly smile. looking around the kitchen, three other brothers. where does peter's loyalty lie? how much did he actually miss you? how much did he learn?

'kiss?' a cup clatters, four sets of eyes watching. 'huh?' you spin with your back to the crowd, 'kissy.' it's the first you've asked for all night, you're counting the hesitation in your mind. one, two, thr...

and it's a kiss. the kind that had you begging for more, even if he was already attached. one that had you melting into his chest while he held your back sturdy. one that said he really didn't give a fuck who was watching anymore.

peter's selfish and he needs to breathe. you hold him by the collar of his jacket, he peeks up to his brothers, a slight blush followed. he can hear the chirps in his mind.

'one more,' it's chaste. you mumble against his lips, 'last one.' peter knows your game, he doesn't have anything to lose but you. he'd put up with shit the rest of his life if he meant you kept asking him for kisses.

a slurry of pecks, you push him away at the sound of gagging from the audience. 'okay, okay!' you swipe at the corner of his lip, nothing's there but a distant memory. 'you taste like chocolate.'

'are my kisses that sweet?' another gag, 'take it upstairs, parker.' you pull on his hand, 'yeah, parker. let's take it upstairs.' you shake off the cheers and drag peter up the stairs behind you by the hand.

you peel your jacket off in his room, your shoes next. like he told you, clean and folded clothes in the second drawer down on his dresser. you pull out your own pajamas, peter watches intently.

'do you want me to turn around, or... nevermind.'

'you're very polite tonight, parker.' a slip of the tongue, you didn't mean it like that, but he took it as such. 'no. please stop calling me that. i'm trying, trouble. i'm really trying.'

'i know you are, you're cute when you're desperate.' peter holds his breath, 'what does that mean?'

'it means you have an ultimatum.' there's nothing good that can come of this, he knows it. you're going to tell him to either make it official or move on, you must have expected the latter. why else did it take so long to reach out?

peter can feel his hands shake, he hides them by crossing his arms. you don't look half as nervous, you're scaring him because he can't read you. it sinks in, it's because you're final in your decision.

'sit.' you pat the space next to you on his bed, you settle underneath the blankets and pull it over your knees. 'did you wash your sheets, too?'

'yeah,' you smile at peter. he's gnawing at his bottom lip. 'they smell clean.' you nudge peter's arm, he swallows thickly. 'ready?'

undivided attention. 'i don't want to break things off.' visible relief, you're not sure if peter is religious, but you think he just said a thank you to god.

'good. i really don't want you to break things off either.'

'but-'

'fuck.' you frown with a little sympathy, he couldn't have thought it was that easy.

'it can't go back to how it was, peter. you're not ready for the boyfriend title, fine. but i need more from you, if you can't give me that, this ends.'

anything, anything, anything.

'what do you need from me?'

this is where it gets tricky, for you and for him. 'i want you to be my boyfriend. you're not ready, but you want to be, right? you said that's how you see us ending, remember?'

'yeah, of course.' you've been thinking logically and this is the best solution for now. this is what you can handle for now. this is what's best for now.

'then treat me like that's the end game. take me out, kiss me in front of your friends, hold my hand on campus. commit to me, truly and fully commit to me. act like you want me to be and stay your girlfriend.'

is that it? he just has to treat you how he's always wanted to, but was scared to do so because he didn't want you to think it was more than it was?

'okay. i can do that, i promise i can do that.'

it's not that easy, it never is. 'yeah, but, this isn't forever, peter. there's not an infinite timeline on this, this is just for right now.'

peter's terrified to ask, but he still does. 'when does right now end?'

it's why you were so calm, how you were able to keep away from him and not show the same amount of craving he did. peter was right, your decision was final and you were serious.

peter was on borrowed time, but this time, you knew it too.

'when i say it does. because, right now, i could walk away at any second, and you'd let me because you'd have no one else to blame.'

selfish, selfish, selfish.

because all peter heard was, ‘but i’m not done, yet.’

#frat!peter blurbs

528 notes · View notes

gay-dorito-dust · 3 months ago

Note

I can imagine a demon reader changing from bad to good after getting catch and dosent want to be with bill and his craziness but still visits him in theroprimson (sorry I might have spelled it wrong)

‘Oh how the might have fallen.’ You cooed as you sat across from bill, a glass screen separating you from him, but you could feel the unbridled anger and betrayal radiating off of Bill from where you sat.

‘You betrayed me and for what? A family of flesh bags?!’ Bill exclaimed. ‘We could’ve ruled together but you let those pine twins get inside your head.’

You scoffed as you folded your arms, the bells on your outfit jingle softly as they did. ‘You called that ruling? I call it madness.’ You remained him as you saw that instead of healing, his broken, fractured body had only gotten worse as it started to stretch across his eye.

He didn’t want to heal, he wanted to remain broken as it meant he didn’t have to relive the memories that he swore to leave behind in the past as he intended, moments that he didn’t want to remember for a reason or other.

‘You were born from madness! You were the madness demon!’ Bill cried as he slammed his hands on the glass but you remained unfazed, knowing this was but Bill’s attempts of getting inside your head in hopes that you’d break him out, however even if he did you’d probably get admitted into Theraprism with him for all eternity in the process.

‘Thanks for reminding me of my origins, what else is new.’ You said sarcastically. You had the uncanny ability to send anyone into a state of madness. it was an ability you used and abused during your time with Bill and his henchmaniacs, way before jheselbruam had decided that she had enough and wanted to reform, but not before she cryptically told you that you’d follow in her footsteps soon enough during a pivotal moment that could change everything. You didn’t know what she meant by that but now as you sat across from the demon you once called your friend, you now understood that Bill was more unhinged then you realised, you were ready to move on with the Pines Family but wanted to see bill once last time before you did.

‘You could’ve been more had you stayed with me and not became soft and let the power of friendship, rainbows and sprinkle kittens tell you that you could be better, when with me you could’ve been far worse!’ Bill said as he felt his hatred for you grow the longer you looked at him with a blank stare, as though you could see through him and his bullshit, like you knew that everything he said was a lie that he told himself as much as he told everyone else; You weren’t scared of him anymore, and Bill didn’t know how to handle that as he was far more use to being in the position of power in your dynamic.

‘In your eye I am already worse.’ You began as you leaned forward, ‘I might as well be a human in demon skin for all you’re aware but here’s the thing I wanted to you dead after everything you’ve put me through, but as Ford once told me there are fates far worse then death and you were more deserving of that fate, it’s almost as though you were destined to end up here regardless and that’s the funniest joke of all.’ You finished with a cackle, the bells of your outfit laughing alongside you.

‘You’re talking to Fordsy?’ Bill asked, now intrigued.

‘Yeah,and I can see why you had that weird one sided situationship with him all that time ago, he’s quite the catch when you get to know him.’ You casually shrug your shoulders as you could see Bill trying to use this to his advantage somehow, something that Ford has told you that he would do and you were more than prepared to shatter his expectations. ‘I’m not going to use him Bill, he’s moved on from you and has found peace with his family, like he should’ve before you came into his life.’ You added in a low, protective growl.

Bill perks up. ‘You’re protecting them from me?’ He asked aghast, hand on his orange prison suit. ‘Have they really corrupted you that much that you’d go out of your way to protect those short life freaks?’

You straightened your posture as you glared at your friend. ‘I only came here to say goodbye, not be interrogated by the demon who’ll come back as something ridiculous like a rainbow shrimp or a fungal cloud, or better yet a butterfly that I can kill for the hell of it.’ You spat as you looked at the time, you were going to be late to Mabel’s arts and crafts session if you kept indulging in this psychopath and his antics. ‘And would you look at that, my time here is done.’

Bill’s eyes widened. ‘Wait! Don’t go! Don’t your dare-‘

‘Goodbye Bill, have fun with therapy.’ You said before snapping your fingers and disappearing, the only thing you heard before you reappeared outside of the Mystery Shack was the sound of Bill’s outrage and hows he’d get back at you and the pines family, but as far as you were aware Bill wasn’t going anywhere for a long, long time.

#gravity falls x reader #gravity falls imagine #gravity falls imagines #gravity falls #bill cipher x you #bill cipher x reader #bill cipher imagine #bill cipher imagines #jhese

226 notes · View notes

darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 5 months ago

Text

Called to Duty 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, abandonment, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Characters: Captain Syverson

Summary: You struggle to move on from the biggest mistake of your life but find it hard to forget among the whispers of a small town.

Part of the Backwoods AU

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

The bank is as ever anxiety inducing. On pay day, you go down to cash your check then give most of it right back, parsing it out for your various expenses. At the end of it, you have even less than the month before. You don't get it. Thing's only seem to get worse; not just money, but your body. Every day you wake up, you feel even more crummy than the last.

Your hopes of a treat at the cafe are dashed. You give a longing look as you walk by and peer through the window. You can smell cinnamon and coffee. You're strict non-caffeinated, doctor's orders, but a decaf would be amazing with one of those cinnamon buns. Ugh, damn, why are you torturing yourself?

You turn to continue down the street but barely dodge out of the way of another pedestrian. He makes sure you can't pass as he mirrors you, sidestepping to block your way. You sigh as you step back and look Sy in the face. For a big man, he sure can sneak up on you.

"Hey," he flips up his dark sunglasses, "how're you feeling?"

You stare up at him defiantly, not quite bold enough to glare. He hasn't done anything wrong, he's just persistent. It isn't his fault he reminds you of that spoiled deadbeat. Or that your emotions are volatile, one moment teary eyed, the next blazing hot with rage.

"Fine, thanks for asking," you shrug, "Sy, I gotta--"

"I owe you a cookie," he points to the cafe window at his shoulder.

You blink. You remember the cracked shortbread. You forgot about that. The mention of the sugary treat makes your stomach growl and your mouth water.

"No, you don't--"

"I do," he insists, "I don't like to carry 'round debts. Let me buy you one."

"I got it free," you say, "it's not a big deal."

"It is to me," he counters, "I was heading in anyway."

You stare at him. You really don't get this man. You're no longer so sure that Thor sent him to check up on you, not since your last interaction. In fact, the wingman seemed more spiteful of him than you. You look across the steeet to the pharmacy then back at him. The aromas wafting out with each swing of the door have you ravenous.

"I can't stay long, I gotta work," you say.

His cheeks twitch, as if he tamps back a smile before it can bloom, "after you."

He gesture behind you to the door. You turn and lead the way. He reaches past you to open the door before you can and you enter ahead of him. The din within is lively and the air is warm from the crowd and the employees steaming out orders behind the counter.

"Wanna find a seat?" He suggests, "you should rest."

You open your mouth to argue but think better of it. You'd rather not stand in the clustered line. You nod and head off to claim the table by the window. There isn't much left.

You pull out the chair and brace your back as you sit with a sigh. You glance over and find Sy watching you as he stands in the queue. His gaze makes you want to wilt, instead you turn your attention out the window.

Not even Thor looked at you like that. Don't be silly. Sy is just being a dutiful guy, helping out the town slut in her time of need. You won't be duped. Not when you can hear your name being twisted on tongues at that very moment.

You sit and wait, wring the strap of your small purse. You watch the street. If it wasn't for the people, Hammer Ford would be serene.

A plate clinks in front of you and a porcelain mug as well. It isn't a cookie and you can smell the herbal tea's rosy flavour. You peer up at Sy as he gives an apologetic look.

"Cookies are still baking so I got you a cinnamon bun," he says.

"And tea?" You add.

"Can't have one without the other," he says, "no coffee for you."

"Yeah, I... I know."

You could laugh. He suggested before he's been reading things about pregnancy. You just can't picture him with a copy of What To Expect When You're Expecting.

"Thank you," you smile as best you can.

"Gotta get mine, be back," he excuses himself and marches back to the counter.

You look down at the gooey iced draped spiral. You really shouldn't. Not only accept his misspent generosity but indulge in the excess sugar. Yet your hormones won't let you resist. You can at least wait until he's sitting down.

He returns with a black coffee and a rather colourful donut. They don't match. Bitter and sweet all at once. He sits and takes off his hat and sunglasses.

You put your purse to the edge of the table and rest your hand on your stomach, doing your best to resist the animalistic need to tear apart the dessert. His eyes follow the movement and you quickly drop your arm. You don't even think when you do it, it's just a habit.

"You-" he begins.

"Wh--" you find your voice at the same time.

You both stop, hesitant. He nods and gestures to you, lifting his cup as he watches you intently. That's new too. Thor never listened much, only talked a lot. Besides, you weren't exactly together for the conversation.

"Sy," you clear your throat and sit forward as much as you can, "why are you following me around?"

His brows form a vee, "I'm... it's not... I'm tryna help."

"Okay, but why?"

His eyes flick up to the ceiling and his cheek ticks as he gives the question genuine thought. When he looks at you again, his face is set, "because I want to."

"You want to?"

"Yes, I'd like to take care of you. And the little one, if you'll let me."

You can't help your snort, "we hardly know each other."

"Isn't for lack of trying," he taps his fingers on his mug. "Aren't ya gonna try the bun?"

"I will," you assure him. He's trying to distract you and it's close to working. The cinnamon is driving you mad. "A baby is a lot of work and... I'm not your responsibility. I know Thor is your friend."

"Was," he interjects.

"Sure," you accept his decisive declaration, "but that doesn't mean you have to worry about his mistakes."

"Mistakes? I don't think so," he says.

"Well, it's not exactly planned," you scoff, "Sy, really I don't feel right about you doing so much."

"Wouldn't feel right not doing it," he shrugs his burly shoulders.

“But why?” You nearly exclaim. You just want to know why he cares so much, about you?

He leans forward, elbows on the table, “they talk about me too, ya know? Since I got back from... serving. They say I’m f—crazy, or whatever. It wasn’t easy or nothin’ over there but I’m not nuts. Not like they say. Just like you’re not some slut, forgive me for saying it out loud.”

You look down at the table and exhale. So he hears as much as anyone else about you. At least he’s honest. At least he isn’t joining them. You purse your lips and reach for the cinnamon bun, unable to restrain yourself any longer.

“For what it’s worth,” you raise your eyes to meet his, “I never thought you were... unwell, or whatever they say.”

His cheeks pinch, another suppressed smile, and he tilts his head, “I’m only happy to hear you think of me.”

#captain syverson #dark captain syverson #dark!captain syverson #captain syverson x reader #drabble #backwoods #called to duty #series #sand castle #au

200 notes · View notes

weepingpussywillowtree · 3 months ago

Text

for the hate of trendy fast fashion sweaters

Okay, I want to preface this that there's nothing wrong with liking the style of these types of sweaters, though I think most of these are ugly, I do like some of them, I just wanted a place to put down my frustrations with these sweaters from a sustainability and wear-ability perspective, as well as my frustration with people coming into knitting spaces asking for dupes of these sweaters and then becoming upset when experienced knitters suggest that these sweaters are not the best idea. be an aware consumer. If you really must own one of these kinds of sweaters, understand that it will probably be a short lifespan or incredibly high maintenance garment. Or realistically, both.

Have you seen the newest sweater? everyone is talking about it. It looks like this

Or this

Yes. They are very unique looking. they're striking and sometimes even cool (in a photoshoot at least), but lets take a look at some of the problems with these types of sweaters, and how I feel that they exemplify fast fashion culture, and that culture invading fiber arts spaces as well.

Ethics, Pricing, and plastic waste

Let's take a look at this sweater as a case study for some of the ethical, sustainability, and pricing issues.

I think it exemplifies a lot of the issues with this wave of trendy sweaters.

first, lets take a look at the website. 260 dollars + shipping, 94% plastic, and from a cursory research, there seems to be no evidence that any of that price is going towards a living wage for its factory workers. So, not to be rude, but what exactly am I paying for? I have seen similar pricing and ethical issues almost across the board with these trendy sweaters.

There's nothing wrong with acrylic yarn on an individual level, it is cheap, easy to care for, and easily available, but for 260 dollars on an item that already it dry clean or gentle hand wash only due to its construction? I would expect higher quality materials. also, not this sweater in particular, but in many of these types of sweaters/brands it really bothers me that they have been able to market themselves as 'vegan' as a form of greenwashing when all of their clothes are plastic or mostly plastic. So yes, while its technically true that they are vegan, are vegan clothes really better for the environment when most of the time vegan clothes means more microfiber shedding pollution and eternal piles of plastic clothes waste?

okay, so now lets get to some common issues with the actual wear-ability and construction of these types of sweaters.

Roving Woes

I think everyone remembers these massive, chunky sweaters or even the roving blankets (roving is wool that has been processed but not yet spun). I'm not sure if the tops/sweaters of very chunky yarn are in peak trend anymore but I do see them around.

Here's the issue. If you want a garment that will fall apart in one wash, these are for you. If you want to have a garment be a lasting part of your wardrobe, move on.

A good example is above. These kinds of sweaters sell like hotcakes on Etsy and go upwards of 300 dollars a pop, but see that fuzziness around the edges? the lack of any twisting look that you'd typically see in yarn? this is roving and will pull, snag, pill, and straight up fall apart at the slightest provocation because the thing that gives spun fibers their strength, is well... the spinning part. The woolery has a great video about this where you can see the roving fall apart over time, and also collect, dirt, dust and other grossness over time with no good way to clean it. Making that 300 dollars you spent a disposable purchase, not an investment. Like buying a 300 dollar disposable rain poncho, but with even less use.

youtube

Finicky detailing

Things like ribbons, charms, and other items make an item hard to wash. If they are not properly secured, or sometimes even if they are, they will come off and either need to be thrown away or somehow reattached. These items can also tug, snag at, or warp the main fabric of the garment.

Neglecting Weaving in Ends

Another trend I've been seeing is not weaving in the ends of a garment, as you can see in that flower sweater above. This may give a cool sort of ripped jeans effect for some, but it will ultimately lead to the garment coming unraveled, and you will have wasted, in this case, like 600 dollars on nothing.

...

Overall, all of these trends lead to more plastic waste, disposable clothing, difficult or impossible to wash items, or clothing that you'll spend a lot of money on only to have it fall apart.

Its frustrating to see this clamoring for dupes or this rush for similar styles take over some fiber arts spaces and lead to wasteful consumption of yarn, and trend cycles where these sweaters quickly get created and then discarded.

thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#knitting #sweaters #fast fashion #Youtube

133 notes · View notes

genderqueerdykes · 9 months ago

Text

in honor of aromantic spectrum awareness week, i thought i'd take the time to talk about how much my personal life and feelings improved after coming to terms with the fact that i'm aromantic. before i accepted this, i found myself in several romantic relationships where i was deeply unhappy, uncomfortable, and made to feel like i wasn't a good enough partner because i just couldn't do or feel certain things.

i've never enjoyed kissing, and cuddling gets uncomfortable for me within the first few minutes of doing so. even hugs are deeply uncomfortable to me unless i really know and care about someone, and even then, hugs only come when that person asks for them. it never occurs to me to touch people this way, the most you'll get out of me is a pat on the shoulder, back or knee.

i ended up dating several people who were very much romantics, and heavily focused on that aspect of our relationship. it kind of felt like torture to me, i felt like i was being forced to live every day like it was Valentine's Day- every day had to be filled with hours of cuddling, kissing, and telling the other person how much i loved them. while not all romantic partners are like this, it wore on my psyche quickly to be paired with folks like this, because i understood how important it was to them, but i just couldn't keep up the performance.

i thought something was "wrong" with me for years and that i just wasn't in touch with my emotions, or that i was somehow embracing some toxic aspects of my masculinity without realizing. it took me ages to remember that i came out as aromantic when i was much younger, but after criticism from my friends, including a friend who was asexual, i stopped identifying with the label, because i was told that aromanticism wasn't real, and that that just made me an asshole.

nearly a decade and several uncomfortable romantic relationships later, it finally clicked that there wasn't something wrong with me, but there was something wrong with the situations i was getting myself into. sure, i love being partnered- i have a queerplatonic partner that i've known for a decade and have only gotten closer to over time. but we've never been romantic. we don't exchange romantic platitudes, and i realized; i've never been happier with someone else than i am with this person.

why is that?

oh. because they don't expect romance from me. they are also on the aspectrum and don't have a romantic partner, either.

this relationship has brought me more joy than any romantic partnership i've ever attempted to pursue. that doesn't mean there's something wrong with me- i was just looking for happiness in the wrong places. i was miserable not because i'm aromantic, but because i was getting into romantic relationships.

romance can be a source of misery. romance does not inherently make everyone happy. we are not all looking for romance as a species. in fact, chasing it makes many people miserable. too many people spend their lives looking for "the one" that they can kiss, cuddle, hold and say all of those mushy things to when they may not even want that to begin with.

i've never been more at peace with myself since finally, fully accepting that i'm aromantic. i love who i am, and i love how i love. i am not loveless, i experience platonic, queerplatonic and other forms of love. but loveless aromantics aren't miserable, either. we are all embracing ourselves in a way that's true to us. we are refusing to warp ourselves to a society that tells us that we all must have homogeneous feelings.

i am aromantic. i am here. my aromanticism is queer in a society that expects and demands romance of me, and this is true of all aromantics, cis, trans, gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, and otherwise. we are here, we are not going away any time soon, and we will not be silent because our identities make some people uncomfortable. we are happiest being who we are.

happy aro week, this goes out to every last arospectrum person out there, appreciate yourselves this week. you deserve it.

#aromantic #aro #lgbtqia #lgbt #queer #lgbta #aromantic spectrum #arospec #arospectrum #aroace #aromantic asexual #aro awareness week #aspectrum #aspec #our writing #about us

280 notes · View notes

luvyeni · 2 years ago

Note

dom!jeongin with a sub reader that has a hand kink 🤭 i’m thinking best friends at the start or roommates

HANDS; YANG JEONGIN

pairings. roommate!jeongin x fem!reader

wc. 910

warnings. fingering

yes i am jeongin bias with a hand kink, i feel like it just comes with stanning him 🤷🏽‍♀️

jeongin finding out his cute roommate loves his hands.

—

"what's so interesting about my hands, hmm? " he smirked watching your face flush realizing you've been caught. "because you've been staring at them for a while."

such an idiot, how could you get caught staring so hard. "w..what are you talking about? i wasn't staring at your hands." may he would drop it if you deny it.

"yeah? then what did i come into your room for?" you were blanking, you can't even remember what your roommate came in to talk about, your eyes immediately zoned in on his hands the second he sat on your bed.

"don't have a clue in the world do you, only thing you seem to be worried about is my hands?" jeongin teased, your neck was hot. "s..so what." jeongin's eyebrow quirked at you trying to sound so bold. "so what i was staring at them?"

he held his hands up in defense. "im not judging." his hand came down to your calf— only brushing past it, but it still made you flinch, he smiled, he was doing so little, but it had such and affect on you.

"but if you want something, you gotta tell me, i can't read minds."

where you dreaming? was he tricking you? "i..- i guess i was wrong." he let out a big sigh standing up. "you don't have a thing for my hands, im sorry for thinking wrong, i'll leave you to whatever you were doing." he went to turn and leave, only for you to grab his wrist. "n..no, please don't go." he bit back a smirk, turning back around.

"so you do want something?" you played with the bracelet on his wrist, his cock jumped in his sweats as you looked up at him, eyes glassed over. "p..please." he sat back down on the bed.

"look at you, head all empty just by looking at my hands, it's pathetic baby." he grabbed your cheeks squishing them, a moan involuntarily leaving your lips. "tsk... you moaning like a slut isn't gonna get you what you want, what do you want?" his voice was much more demanding, his eyes sharper, sending you into a even deeper headspace. "touch me."

"where?" his hands left your cheeks slowly traveling back down to your neck, his hand wrapping around it, you bit your lip too keep from embarrassing yourself with another moan. "of course you liked being choked." he squeezed a bit. "is this where you want me to touch you?"

you tried to rub your tighs together subtly, but he was well aware of what you were doing, his hands traveling further down to your boobs. "or is it here?" he rubbed his thumb across your nipple, you moaned. "j..jeongin please."

"im not gonna give you what you want unless you tell me." he spoke. "be a good girl and tell me where you )want my hands." you had enough of his teasing, you worked up as much courage as you could, grabbing his wrist, guiding where you desperately needed his beautiful hands. "r..right here."

"good girl." he cupped your heat, you grabbed his wrist. "jesus you're soaked down there." he rubbed your clothed folds. "wow a little touching has you messing up your pretty panties, you really like my hands?" he's met a few girls who liked his hands but not this much.

"i bet you think about them when you're alone in here, hmm? stuffing your pussy with your tiny fingers, wishing they were mines." his hand found his way into your shorts, sliding your panties to the side. "don't you?" he teased his finger at your hole. "y..yes." after hearing the answer he wanted, he pushed one finger into your hole.

"so wet baby, how long have you been like this?" his finger deliciously dragged across your walls, you couldn't help but clench around it. "clenching over just one of them baby, should i add another? or could you cum just from one of them." you moaned, desperately wanted him to add another. "a..another one please." he smiled. "look at you using your words, my good girl." he added another finger, the coldness of his ring hitting your clit sent a shiver down your spine, you moaned out in ecstacy.

"p..please." jeongin's eyes widened. "you want a another one?" you nodded. "jesus love, you really are a slut for my fingers." he slowly pushed a third finger in, you moaned in a combination of pain and pleasure. "s..so full."

"yeah, you like how my finger fills you up?" you nodded, to fucked out to answer, but jeongin wanted to hear you say it, he brought his other hand up to your neck. "use your fucking words." he squeezed down a little bit.

"f..fuck yes, im gonna cum." he rubbed your clit with his thumb. "good girl, you can cum, cum for me love." your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you came on his fingers. "that's it, you feel good princess?" you nodded as you shook around his fingers.

he slowly pulled them out, a string of your essence coating his pretty fingers. "fuck." you moaned as he brought his pretty fingers to his lips, wrapping his lips around them, groaning at the taste of you. "fucking delicious." he bought them to your lips, tapping on them. "suck." you opened your mouth, letting him push them in.

"good girl."

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #kpop smut #stray kids smut #stray kids x reader #stray kids hard thoughts #stray kids hard hours #stray kids imagines #stray kids fic #skz hard hours #skz hard thoughts #skz smut #skz imagines #jeongin x reader #jeongin hard hours #jeongin hard thoughts #yang jeongin smut #jeongin smut

2K notes · View notes

onlyjaeyun · 1 year ago

Text

𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝟏𝟎

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐍: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐲

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 𝟒.𝟐𝐤 (not proofread am sorry it's lit 3.30am)

⤲ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧...

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

"She's fucking furious with me right now because I haven't responded to her messages asking about her choice of outfit for tonight", Jungwon says as he buckles himself up in the passenger seat of his Heeseung's car, a huge, dimpled smile covering the younger one's face and actually managing to push away all those annoying thoughts roaming his cousin's mind.

Heeseung can't help but let out a deep sigh, because just as he's expected, Won doesn't hesitate to hold up his phone and show him the cute little pictures you had sent your best friends a few hours prior, which definitely don't fail to make his head spin like crazy.

"Honestly she looks bomb in all of them", Jungwon chuckles and puts his phone away without giving his older cousin the chance to fully take in the sight of your pretty body clad in a tight dress, exposing just the right amount of cleavage as well as presenting your legs in the most perfect way possible.

And as images of all the things he wants to do you fill his head, a huge jolt of guilt rushes through his whole body, a feeling he's gotten used to by now, yet never fails to ruin his mood in ways he can't explain. Heeseung knows his train of thoughts regarding his best friend's little sister is wrong, he shouldn't think about you this way, but after years of fighting with himself, he's come to accept it and brush all those visuals off to the side, all the way to the last corner of his brain to save them for his lonely nights.

"Oh, come on, old man", Jungwon suddenly exclaims and rolls his eyes at his cousin's lack of response, "she's a fucking ten, stop acting like she's not at least attractive."

"She's Hoon's sister, Won", Heeseung gulps harshly, the words feeling heavier than usual and as soon as they roll off his tongue, he can't help but remember all the times he's had to forget the most significant fact about you, just to enjoy himself.

"So?" The younger one doesn't even try to hide his confusion, a trait which definitely comes in handy at times, yet in moments like these Heeseung definitely hates him for it.

"Of course she's attractive", he mumbles and runs a hand through his dark hair to calm himself down, "but not to me."

"Right", Won scoffs and pulls off his beanie as the heat in the little space of Seung's car seems to overwhelm him, "you act like admitting it is going to get you into jail. She's only two yesrs younger than you, you know that, right?"

Of course he does. It's the only thing he's been telling himself ever since the day he realised how much he wants you and what started out as a way to stop his feelings from getting worse, ended up being the number one excuse for his fucked up brain to go absolutely wild when it comes to thoughts of you.

It's never been about age to Heeseung. He might have stated it as a reason back when you had decided to confess your feelings to him on the night of his graduation party, yet he's always been aware of the fact that he never really cared about those two years. You've never been too immature or too young, he's actually always admired just how wise and thoughtful you were compared to everyone else around him. But it's always been the easiest road to walk on whenever it came to the point where he somehow ended up considering a conversation about you with your older brother.

"She's still Hoon's younger sister and that's why it's weird to me to think of her like that."

Fucking lies.

Heeseung sometimes struggles to believe just how easy lying about his feelings and thoughts had become to him. A realisation, which never fails to scare him as he used to be so keen on being as honest as he could be in every situation imaginable.

"Whatever", Jungwon mumbles and lets out a soft sigh, "I'm so happy your little trophy wife isn't coming. I know my baby said she wouldn't mind but those words really got to her and her being there would have ruined everyone's mood."

For a split second, Heeseung feels his heart breaking into thousands of pieces as his brain processes his cousin's word, only for him to take a deep breath and shift his gaze to the younger male as the car comes to a halt at a red light.

"I don't want to talk about Sumin right now", is the only thing he manages to respond with, mentally and physically too exhausted to go into yet another argument about his choice of close friends.

"You kind of never want to talk about her, yet she's always...there." This time Heeseung can't help but roll his eyes as Jungwon bursts into laughter, slapping his hand against the younger ones chest before he tells him to just put some music on and drop the topic he's been trying to avoid for actual months.

The remaining drive to your new apartment is filled with comfortable silence as the two cousins individually prepare themselves for the get together. And just as Heeseung turns off the engine of his car, his phone starts vibrating in his pocket and just as expected he's met with his best friend's name on the display.

"Where the fuck are you?" Sunghoon's voice is laced in amusement and playfulness, the side of him the young male has missed more than he had realised after the two friends had spent quite a bit of time in physical as well as emotional distance and with a soft chuckle, Heeseung reaches for the bouquet of flowers he had gotten for you before he shuts the door and locks his car.

"I literally just parked the car, still had to pick up my present", he replies calmly, shooting Won a huge smile of excitement as he comes to join him at the door to your apartment building and without even giving his best friend a verbal response, Sunghoon hurries to buzz him in, having absolutely no idea what said present might even be.

"Seung's at the door!" At your brother's sudden announcement your heart involuntarily skips a beat and you can't hide the big big smile on your face as you excuse yourself to meet the one guest you've been patiently waiting for at the door like the good host you are.

"He's actually never one to be late but apparently he had to pick up your present", Hoon explains and takes a sip from his beer, throwing his arm over your shoulder before he continues, "now I'm curious what that fucker got you. I bet it's super cool, he actually does really well when it comes to choosing gifts."

"I know."

And you actually do. One of your favorite things about your brother's best friend have always been just how attentive and thoughtful he is; those traits noticeable in every single one of his love languages and despite not being as close to him as his friends, you could always tell he loves and cares about his close circle a lot more than people might give him credit for.

You still remember the day of Jaeyun's eighteenth birthday, where you guys had decided to throw him a surprise party, only for Seung to organise everything and get him a premium soccer jersey Jake had talked to his friends about once because he never liked wasting his breath on wishful thoughts of things he knew he couldn't afford.

As you try to guess what he might have gotten for you, memories of all your previous celebrations together start filling your brain and at the sudden mental image of a very special necklace you feel your heart lenching with agony in your chest.

However, you don't get enough time to lose yourself in those thoughts, as the little ping coming from the elevator at the end of the hall pulls you back into reality, only for the sight you're met with to completely and utterly shock you.

"No fucking way."

Your brother basically takes the words out of your mouth as the two of you stare at your best friend of fifteen years.

"Oh, my fucking God", your voice is barely a whisper as a thick veil of tears blurs your vision, yet you quickly throw your head back to stop them from running down your cheeks, not wanting go ruin Yuna's hard work.

Jungwon doesn't say much and you know it's because he's just as emotional as you; the two of you had never been this far away from each other for this long, which is why the reunion is as bittersweet as one can imagine.

However, when the tall male comes to stand right in front of you with his arms wide open, you can't help but let out a loud scream of happine as you throw your arms around his neck and finally pull him into a tight hug.

Giggles and laughter, way too many profanities and just as many "I've missed you"s filling the empty hallway of your apartment building and you have absolutely no idea for just how long you stay like that, just basking in the feeling of home in form of a person, something you've been subconsciously craving much more than you would have ever admitted to yourself.

And as you slowly open your teary eyes, your gaze meets one so gentle and genuine, you feel tiny little butterflies coming back to live in your stomach; the ones you thought you had skillfully managed to kill exactly four years ago, only for them to proof you wrong.

Heeseung's pretty lips are stretched into a kind smile, his perfect teeth on full display as his pretty eyes have turned into cute little half moons. Despite knowing him for so long, you can't remember a time where anything related to you was the reason for the infamous Lee Heeseung smile and you physically can't get yourself to be upset about it. The thought of being the reason for something you used to daydream about fueling the fire in your chest in ways you've never experienced it before.

Jungwon gently pulls away from you, places a soft kiss on your forehead and manages to gain your attention back before the two of you burst into another row of loud laughter and giggles only for your brother to intervene.

"Come here, big guy", Sunghoon laughs and opens his arms, only for Jungwon to welcome the sweet gesture with a big smile.

And as you watch the way the others finally make their way to the front door, surprise written all over their faces as soon as they spot your best friend, you turn your attention to a rather quiet and reserved Heeseung.

"Thank you so much", you say and nervously play with the rings on your fingers, your eyes meeting his and a feeling of longing overwhelms your chest as soon as he shakes his head with another gentle smile.

"No need to thank me", he replies clamly and runs a hand through his dark hair, "I just wanted to make sure you really know that I actually care about you and your feelings. See this as the second part of my apology."

In the past four years, Heeseung hasn't spoken that many words to you in total, let alone in one sentence, which is probably why the look of surprise on your face doesn't seem to faze him, as he's always been more than just self aware.

You don't really know what to say or do. The sound of his voice, his choice of words, the meaning behind them and the intensity with which your heart has been hammering against your rib cage way too overwhelming for your poor brain to produce anything beyond nonsense.

"Oh, and these are for you", he suddenly adds and hands you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, this time however deciding to avoid your gaze and this time you can't help the little chuckle falling past your lips.

"You still remember my favorites, huh? You're so charming when you don't wanna fight me", you joke and shoot him a grateful smile, pressing the bouquet close to your chest as you attentively observe Heeseung's body language.

Unfortunately your very first one-on-one moment is abruptly interrupted by a call of your name coming from the front door, which is when you realise where you two have been standing all this time.

The following hours are filled with a few rounds of the nice dinner Jongseong had helped you with, your favorite drinking games, way too much karaoke and just casual conversations.

And as the night goes on, you can't shake off the feeling of a certain gaze attentively watching you from across the room, yet every time you actually try to meet those eyes you've been dreaming about in secret, your brother's best friend casually shifts his attention away from you again, leaving you confused.

Unfortunately none of your guests give you the opportunity to start another conversation with Heeseung, each one of your attempts being interrupted by someone else and by the nth time you just give up, accepting your fate that maybe you're just not supposed to talk to him.

Different than you'd expected, your as well as your brother's friends do a great job keeping him away from you, as you pay a little more attention to your green haired coworker than some of your other guests, yet always finding yourself hoping to be interrupted.

It's not like Jiung's boring or annoying you, his company actually quite enjoyable and comfortable, which is why you feel so bad for being relieved by your best friend's sudden appearance every time you felt yourself tensing up from the slight awkwardness between the two of you.

You can tell from the way he's been following you around that Jiung's been trying to get a few proper moments with you and despite this being your initial intention as well, you simply can't get yourself to seek his single presence the way you do it with a certain someone else.

"So?" Jungwon suddenly says as he takes another bite from one of Yuna's cupcakes, his cheeks slightly flushed, hair messily falling into his handsome face and reminding you of all the times you guys used to sneak out to drink back in your high school days.

You know exactly what – or better said – who he's referring to; Won's never had a problem reading you like an open book after all and just as usual, you kind of hate him for this particular ability.

"He's cute", you mumble and skillfully manage to avoid his gaze by shifting your focus on the pile of dirty dishes in your sink, using the opportunity of your guests being distracted to clean up and save yourself from a bad surprise tomorrow.

"Girl, don't fucking play with me", Won replies and you can literally hear his eyes rolling into the back of his head, "he's been all over you all night. That man wants you."

You have absolutely no idea why, but for some reason you find yourself cringing at your best friend's observation and you're almost sure it's because you've noticed Jiung's rather obvious attempts of PDA, something you've never really minded, yet seem to be a little more uncomfortable than before.

There's a tiny voice in the back of your head telling you the exact reason for your sudden discomfort, yet you refuse to acknowledge your brother's best friend and his deathly glares being just that. You're over him and definitely not about to get into your head about misunderstood expressions again.

"Yeah, I know", you genuinely hope Jungwon doesn't notice your little pause and to your luck he's the worst lightweight to exist and has probably stopped producing proper thoughts hours ago.

"What are you waiting for then? Go get laid, he looks like the type to eat pussy. Isn't that what you're looking for in a man?"

"Yang fucking Jungwon!"

His words, as unhinged and shameless as they are, also happen to be nothing but the truth and yet again you find yourself cursing at yourself for being so honest with him.

"Having a screaming match without me? You're breaking my heart guys", Jiung suddenly says as he walks into your kitchen and plops down right in front of your best friend, reaching for one of the little desserts with a big smile.

You don't respond to his comment, laughing it off and secretly hoping for him to take his cupcake and leave you alone with your best friend again, only for it to be the exact opposite.

"Oh? I think Jong's calling me! See you guys!"

You don't even have enough time to properly process your best friend's sudden disappearance and as his words echo in your head, you can't help but swallow the sigh of annoyence bubbling up your throat. It's not like you mind being alone with your pretty faced coworker, but after spending most the night with him you can't help but feel a little fed up.

You hate yourself for thinking like this, especially since you know exactly it's because you read too much into the fee times you caught Heeseung staring at you or glaring at Jiung whenever he had his arm around your waist or over your shoulder, when it's probably only because Hoon's too tipsy to play the protective older brother.

"You look really fucking good tonight", Jiung suddenly says and it's the sudden raise in volume, which makes you reakise how close he's come to stand next to you.

"Thanks, Ji", you say calmly and are grateful for your ability to hide everything you're thinking and feeling behind a genuine smile.

"I actually had a really great time, you know? Your friends are fucking hilarious and your brother and his boys are way more fun than I thought." You can tell from the genuine expression in his pretty eyes how honest he's being and you can't help but feel happy about him enjoying his time with your favorite people. At the end of the day you definitely can't hide the attraction you feel towards him and maybe he'll be the one to finally get your mind off of a certain someone who's not only absolutely off limits but has no interest in you in basically any way.

"I'm really glad to hear that", you say and turn off the water, drying your hands as you turn your body to face your tall coworker, "am pretty sure they're too drunk to admit it but I can tell this might become a regular thing."

Jiung chuckles charmingly and nods, his hand suddenly finding it's way to the loose strand of hair falling out of your hair clip and with a soft smile you cock your head to the side and look at him attentively.

"Definitely wouldn't mind that. You've got a nice bunch there, really great company", he mumbles and gently caresses your cheek with the back of his finger, sending chills over your arms with the sudden contrast of his cold rings against your slightly heated skin.

However, as sweet and gentle as his touches are, you feel the urge to move away for some reason, mostly because you're definitely not really keen on someone walking in on you two so close together, especially since the chance of said someone being your brother or one of his best friends are way too high.

The tiny voice in the back of your head has started screaming at this point and you hate how much you're actually fighting it. There's no need to be so hesitant with Jiung. He's made his intentions quite clear with his behavior and despite his lack of interest in something serious, you're not necessarily turned off, but actually intrigued.

A beat of silence follows his words, the tension in the air turning so thick, you could practically cut through it with a knife if you tried and with a soft sigh you pull your bottom lip between your teeth and let him fake yet another step closer to you.

"Is this okay?" Jiung asks calmly and takes your face into his pretty hands, the gesture so sweet yet nowhere are those butterflies from earlier to be seen.

And as soon as you manage to push those doubts and thoughts aside, you nod in response to his question and even move a little further into his touch, only for the jarring sound of glass breaking into thousands of pieces to pull you back to reality.

With a soft gasp of surprise you quickly turn around, make your way into the direction the loud noise came from and feel waves of shock roll over you at the sight of Heeseung on his knees as he carefully picks up the little pieces of glass.

"I'm so sorry", he quickly says, yet doesn't look at you and for some reason you can't help but wonder why he's decided to avoid your gaze again, "I got lost in my thoughts and it just slipped out of my hand."

His explanation is quick and simple, so you just shake your head and reassure him to make sure he knows you genuinely don't mind.

And as you help carefully kneel down to help your brother's best friend, Heeseung feels the rage and jealousy in his chest slowly calming down again, as well as the rationality finally returning to him, yet unfortunately way too late. If he could have only used his actual brain before letting his emotions take over, he wouldn't have made such a mess, yet a wave of relief quickly following everything as he reminds himself that you didn't actually kiss that pretty face.

He didn't mean to eavesdrop. Heeseung hadn't even seen Jiung enter the kitchen, actually assumed you were by yourself once Jungwon had walked into the living room, which is how he found himself listening in on your little conversation.

Never in a lifetime would he have forgiven himself for letting it happen right then and there. You might not actually be his but he'd be dammed if he made himself go through the agony of watching you with someone else. He's had to put up with that baristas little shit show all night, he was sure as hell not going to let him win this round as well.

Was the damage avoidable? Definitely. Was it necessary? Absolutely fucking yes.

Heeseung can tell from the worry in your voice how you don't even seem angry or annoyed for your kiss to be ruined and he absolutely hates himself for being so excited about it.

He's very well aware of how wishful and delusional his thoughts had become, yet there's a part of him which is convinced your sudden lack of interest in your new coworker was actually because of him.

"As long as you didn't hurt yourself", you say quickly and finally manage to lock gazes with him, yet instantly regretting it as you're met with nothing but rage and an expression you had never seen in his eyes before.

Maybe you're too tired or tipsier than you thought, yet you can't help but wonder what's going on behind those pretty eyes.

"That guy's up to no good", Heeseung suddenly mumbles and takes the last pieces of glass carefully into his palm, back to skilfully avoiding your gaze and at first his words overwhelm you, but are quickly echoing in your brain with intensity you actually feel yourself getting lightheaded .

"Pardon?"

You can't get yourself to vide your shock about his comment, a tiny wave of snger breaking down on you at the thought of Heeseung actually saying something like this to you.

"You heard what I said, princess", he grunts and basically jumps onto his feet, doesn't even give you enough time to comprehend his use of an actual pet name for you, "be careful with him. You deserve and definitely should do better than him."

You open your mouth in an attempt to actually respond to him, yet fail miserably as you close it again without uttering a single word; apparently Heeseung wasn't planning on listening anyway as he shoots you one last warning glare and throws the broken pieces of glass into the little trash bin in your hallways before he makes his way to your front door and actually leaves without looking back.

And as you remain in your position on the floor, tiny pieces of shattered glass in your hands and your brows furrowed in absolute confusion, you struggle to actually comprehend what had just happened. Because what the fuck actualy just happened? And why did it manage it to revive those fucking butterflies yet again?

(A/N: i feel like it's way more boring than i wanted it to be so pls lmk what you guys think. too tired to write more so pls know i love and appreciate all of you, sending kisses to everyone. also this chap was inspired by the one scene in twisted games, ifykyk lmao feedback and reblogs are appreciated babies 🧸🩷)

TAGLIST: @soonigiri @thvhannie @enhaz1 @kpoprhia @abrazosolorcereza @deobitifull @mixtape-racha @certifiedmoa @jungwon-xo @hoonieluv @enhamysunshines @jaehoonii @pussyslayerhd @ineedsomezzz @neocockthotology @heerinnie @onionzzzs @hee-pster @3amstarlight @xxxxrvexxxx @primroselover @mimikittysblog @iea-tsand @lhspeachie @xiaoderrrr @viagumi @smg-valeria @kells5595 @heeseunghee7 @xrvrqs @ddazed-lhs @heebrry @fakeuwus @dammit-jjk @ivyannemarie @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @s00buwu

#enhypen social media au #enhypen x reader #enhypen smut #enhypen angst #enhypen fluff #heeseung x reader #lee heesung x reader #lee heeseung social media au #enhypen writers #heeseung

595 notes · View notes