#only posting the ones we haven't seen

[d-criss-news]

[UHQ] Darren Criss at the 2023 Tony Awards After, After Party presented by Ketel One Vodka and Zacapa Rum at Pebble Bar on June 11, 2023 in New York City. (Photo by Bruce Glikas) | Source

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[slushglow]

where are my edward elric fans in the crowd tonight

[arolloyd]

Ykw scratch that tlnm and the Lego movie DOES take place in the same universe after all... I feel like most ppl don't really talk about this too much because tlnm is usually associated w Ninjago rather than the lego movieverse

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

[hrokkall]

ULTRATOBER /// EIGHTH CHARACTER DESIGN SWAP

I did, in fact, draw their faces but wasn't 100% sure if that conveyed "angel" enough so I gave them upside-down masks. But here they are uncovered.

[purplecelestial-buddy]

There's many little details in Harusono's works that tend to take space in my mind (like the background gag of the boys piling up bottles) but one of them is this picture:

There's cake, there's a ton of people and there's someone being thrown???

Idk I just think that they Kagiuras are probably great pary guests.

Full panel for more context:

[bietrofastimoff23]

i have the impression that tb is convinced that the ability to love is the prerogative of their favs, and the greens, apparently, are deprived of this. like, they really looked at this and said, "yes, he definitely didn't love his children, he only cared about a wounded narcissistic ego."

hate him all you want, but why deny the sincerity of his grief for his child? morally dubious characters can also experience love and affection, in case you didn't know.

[meownotgood]

also I'll keep my thoughts about this in the tags, don't look if you don't want any leaked information, but the video of viktor's chinese voice actor.... have any of you seen it......... because.......

[katyspersonal]

Effect I've shown to have on people in this fandom from time to time that I am proud of is making them actually speak their opinions and put them in the TAGS! Like, you guys don't know how it feels, to see someone go from "no I am afraid to say a thing because I don't want to be harassed" to "fuck it we ball tonight *passionately disagrees with the takes of toxic popular people and tags the post with fandom and character* 😎"

Like... guys, this IS the way to go, okay? More of you should finally beat it in your head that bullies draw their power from people that are AFRAID of them! If nobody covered in fear before them, they'd be nothing but stupid clowns in their stupid echo-chambers that just block away from the world and eventually having no one left to torture eat their own! This is NOT the norm when people are scared to post their interpretations in the fandom for videogames that specifically demand interpretations, shamefully resort to lurking in some private Discord servers just to share their art and thoughts, stay away from discussing a character they like because too many toxic fans put their claws on them and so on! I don't understand why many people are okay with this kind of fandom experience? And so many of them are older than me or unlike me have enough reputation to make REAL difference in the fandom, why?? I don't remember who owns a blog for suggesting headcanons for Soulsborne games but iirc they allowed bullies to scare them into making a rule against suggesting headcanons about Gwyndolin's gender because "people are mean to each other so it's a nono now and Gwyndolin is only they/them now 🥺". Like.... congratulations, you've betrayed the very point of your blog, which is to share different headcanons, to do what? To cover in fear before jerks that didn't grasp the concept of "up to interpretation"? Why would you do that, instead of showing people who can't respect different interpretations that they are NOT welcomed?

I don't know, man.. it is normal for autists to care about fandom a bit too much, I suppose. I don't see it as something inherently inferior to The Reeeeeal Life uwu. And so, I just hate to see people just willingly lend the power to bullies? Of course they are going to continue to make the fandom unpleasant, if they see that they can own the place by just leaving disheartening comments, laughing at someone with their mindless sheep mutuals in a reblog or sending a couple of anon hates! But like, when I realized a few other people saw this is unfair and should not be encouraged, and started at least saying something too.. idk, it gives me hope. It is hard to explain but I think 20+ or even 30+ age category is more than enough to move past the dumb high school dynamic! Not in the passive "eh who cares about fandoms anyway, it is not worth it and I am too mature to care" way, but in the "nah I won't stand for Cool Kids and bullies and nor should others" way

[gendertrickster]

i find very cool how you're dating the writer of the comic you were (still are) swooning over

it's literally so fucking funny. you guys cannot even comprehend all the reasons why this is the funniest shit ever

[d-criss-news]

phoebenoble__: living my teenage dream yesterday 💫 DARREN CRISS @ the london palladium 📷: @danny_with_a_camera Promoters: @lambertjacksonproductions Production Design: @noisebyjonny @josephedthomas Tour Management: @hjpickett Lighting: @josephedthomas

[coquelicoq]

wait do we think loquats is going to be two episodes or three?? i was assuming two, but this episode only got us through chapter 92 and we still got both 93 and 94 remaining.

[giantkillerjack]

ur post about queerbaiting and the dismissal of people in fandom to critical analysis is so incredibly true thank you. i feel like marcille's writing in the anime has been super misogynistic a lot of the time and every time i bring this up all anyone wants to say is "well maybe this isn't for you! and you shouldn't watch the show!" like. i don't think this is about taste lmao, i am analyzing the text in front of me and coming to conclusions about the craft of it.

[This is in reference to this post]

YES!!! THANK YOU!!!!!

It is so so frustrating!!!!

It's like being at a restaurant and being served a bunch of delicious appetizers, but then one of the bread appetizers is literally just a plate of crumbs; and then when you're like, "Hey, uhh, why are we being served literal crumbs?", a bunch of the other folks eating at the restaurant are like,

"WELL HOW ABOUT YOU JUST DON'T EAT HERE THEN??!? YOU MUST NOT BE THAT HUNGRY, SO JUST FIND ANOTHER RESTAURANT AND DON'T EAT WITH US!!"

And maybe they say it politely, but "Aw, sorry, maybe this restaurant just isn't for you 💖" is just trading out an aggressive dismissive tone for a patronizing dismissive tone. It's the same message.

And it's like! I was honestly happy to move on from the crumbs once my complaint was acknowledged because the meal overall is still delicious, but then all these folks got SUPER WEIRD AND DEFENSIVE ABOUT IT, so now I find myself double-checking all the other dishes -- and, actually, you know what those eggs DO look a Iittle misogynistic undercooked!!!!

[spxcemuses]

@erthlyheavn asked: ÖÖÖ

[ a character I’d consider rping. ] | Always Accepting

A bunch of bad guys were ganging around an innocent civilian, when suddenly a bunch of gunshots rang in the air, a couple of the bullets killing or injuring them. They didn't even get a chance to see whom their attacker was, when suddenly-

" Backflip! "

A voice immediately shouts, and a man in a red suit does a backflip from an idle car, landing on his feet but almost falling over. In his hand were two smoking pistols. It was Deadpool, the famous merc with a mouth.

" So I'm coming back, huh? Hopefully for realsies this time. Man it's been so long since I've been written! Let's see how long it's been, uhm... "

The masked figure quickly shifts one pistol to his other hand, counting with his fingers under his breath. A gang member gets up to attack, and Deadpool immediately shoots them in the head before exclaiming again.

" Onetwothreefour... Four years! Four! Man, that has got to be a long time. Space better give me a warm welcome if I am to stay on this blog permanently; this red suit of mine really contrasts with the blue of the theme she's got. Wait, what was I doing again? Oh yeah! Saving someone. "

He turns to the trembling citizen, giving them a grin even though he was masked. They probably thought he was a loonie for talking to what was essentially no one. Deadpool leans a little closer, giving them a friendly pat on the shoulder.

" Sorry for all the rambling, I was... making up for lost time. My brain's like a squirrel on caffeine! Anyway! Go along now! Make sure you call your parents or a close friend, tell them you love them or something before you get hurt again! "

----------------

A mysterious figure leant against the brick wall of the nearest building, mainly wearing black attire. What stood out though was that he wore a fedora and a trench coat, the ends of it billowing in a slight breeze that clearly wasn't there. Spider-Noir had one hand in his pocket, another holding the end of a burning match. He had been staring at the match when suddenly his spidey-senses quickly tingled, white hues looking over at the person who was staring at him. Giving a tip of his fedora, the monochromatic Spider-Man introduces himself.

" Evening. You're probably wondering who I am, aren't you, sport? I'm Spider-Noir. I am a private eye and put a kibosh to Nazis... a lot. Don't worry, I'm not here to harm you. I do not plan to... I just go where the wind of fate takes me. I'm like a shadow. Dark, mysterious... a little edgy. You'll get used to me. "

----------------

" Ugh, I always have to... pick up the pieces around here! ¡No puedo seguir así! Argghh!! "

Miguel shouts out in a rage, claws unsheathed as he digs into a hunk of tech and metal, tossing it a far distance away before panting heavily. After finding out that Miles was the anomaly that would put everything out of line, he was determined to find the kid and snuff them out once and for all. He wastes no time after the slight outburst, briefly conversing with LYLA and activating the gizmo on his wrist, transporting to where Miles was currently located. He spent some time running on all fours to search quicker, leaping down from a two-story height and landing in front of someone and nearly startling them. Broad shoulders tense, glaring at them when they questioned who he was.

" None of your business on who I am. It's classified. What I want to know is... Where. Is. Miles Morales. You haven't seen a Spider-Man in a black suit around here at all? "

[thethingything]

do you ever write out a post and then remember the reading comprehension on this site is abysmal and you can practically feel the potential shitty comments and think "actually no this isn't worth it"