#now three or five or ten? thats better

[katyspersonal]

Effect I've shown to have on people in this fandom from time to time that I am proud of is making them actually speak their opinions and put them in the TAGS! Like, you guys don't know how it feels, to see someone go from "no I am afraid to say a thing because I don't want to be harassed" to "fuck it we ball tonight *passionately disagrees with the takes of toxic popular people and tags the post with fandom and character* 😎"

Like... guys, this IS the way to go, okay? More of you should finally beat it in your head that bullies draw their power from people that are AFRAID of them! If nobody covered in fear before them, they'd be nothing but stupid clowns in their stupid echo-chambers that just block away from the world and eventually having no one left to torture eat their own! This is NOT the norm when people are scared to post their interpretations in the fandom for videogames that specifically demand interpretations, shamefully resort to lurking in some private Discord servers just to share their art and thoughts, stay away from discussing a character they like because too many toxic fans put their claws on them and so on! I don't understand why many people are okay with this kind of fandom experience? And so many of them are older than me or unlike me have enough reputation to make REAL difference in the fandom, why?? I don't remember who owns a blog for suggesting headcanons for Soulsborne games but iirc they allowed bullies to scare them into making a rule against suggesting headcanons about Gwyndolin's gender because "people are mean to each other so it's a nono now and Gwyndolin is only they/them now 🥺". Like.... congratulations, you've betrayed the very point of your blog, which is to share different headcanons, to do what? To cover in fear before jerks that didn't grasp the concept of "up to interpretation"? Why would you do that, instead of showing people who can't respect different interpretations that they are NOT welcomed?

I don't know, man.. it is normal for autists to care about fandom a bit too much, I suppose. I don't see it as something inherently inferior to The Reeeeeal Life uwu. And so, I just hate to see people just willingly lend the power to bullies? Of course they are going to continue to make the fandom unpleasant, if they see that they can own the place by just leaving disheartening comments, laughing at someone with their mindless sheep mutuals in a reblog or sending a couple of anon hates! But like, when I realized a few other people saw this is unfair and should not be encouraged, and started at least saying something too.. idk, it gives me hope. It is hard to explain but I think 20+ or even 30+ age category is more than enough to move past the dumb high school dynamic! Not in the passive "eh who cares about fandoms anyway, it is not worth it and I am too mature to care" way, but in the "nah I won't stand for Cool Kids and bullies and nor should others" way

[kittynugg]

awww look its fo.. hey why does he have that hat? wasn't it like the sixties when he was ten which one of you gave him that hat??

who the fuck time traveled and gave him dipper's ha-

anyway bit over reblogs are appreciated bc they help little artists grow while likes are just a little brownie point but do whatever idm!!

insanity is under the cut like my last post (again its long i actually went through the timelapse since this was all on ibispaint)

for some reason it took me three minutes just to draw this circle

perfect bean head right here

the eyes were a nightmare to size and orient i fucking hate eyes

figured it out!!! yeahhh!! i actually started this drawing with a vision, there's this one shot of freckle in lackadaisy i took inspiration from

ohhhh shit things are getting crazy now we're bringing in a reference

drawing the hat killed me it was so difficult wHY

luckily your intrepid artist pal connor (me thats me!) figured it out. sort of

this was incredibly overwhelming and a nightmare to deal with look at all those lines everywhere

but i fixed it as always! also you may notice that the hat has been enlarged significantly

also you may notice that the hair has been enlarged significantly (drawing the hair was awful. someone please give me hair drawing tips for like ruffled hair or hair being pressed down PLEASE HELP ME)

was originally gonna steal dipper's entire look

then i decided the coat would be better for reasons beyond me

here he is mid-coloring, you get to see a bit into the process of my lineless style (last drawing was different because it wasn't originally intended to be lineless)

aaaaaaaandddddddd without lighting/shading

all in all this took me about two hours total, i think like an hour and forty five minutes you can probably look at the first image for the exact time

which means it took TWO DAYS BECAUSE IBISPAINT HAS A FUCKING LIMIT FUCK YOU IBISPAINT FUCK YOU anyway thanks for lookin i'll do a solo drawing of stanley later on

[podfeels]

Podfeels Season 1 Retrospective

4/13/2024 marked the two year anniversary of Podfeels’ first airing, and in August, we will celebrate the three year anniversary of its inception as a project. It feels so strange, looking back on it all. To me, it feels simultaneously like its always been in my life, and also like it just started yesterday.

I’ve spent nearly three years now spearheading this project, and we’ve expanded from a team of ten to a team of thirty in that time, and have put out roughly four hours of highly produced, full cast, full sound effect audio drama.

That may not sound like much, but for a team composed almost exclusively of first timers at its inception, and with two big hiatuses out of everyone’s control, I’m pretty damn proud.

With Season 1 ending back in January, us currently in the exact two month midpoint between anniversaries, and Season 2 being worked on behind the scenes, I thought now would be a good time to release a bit of a retrospective on our first season. Talk about the process, what went wrong, what went right, and also release our assets for the public.

I’m splitting this into three sections so you can skip around based on what you give a shit about. 

Looking 8ack

Reminiscence about how I got into godfeels through a series of insane coincidences that make my heart feel warm.

2. Adapt8ion

Discussing the process of adapting the work into our medium.

3. Portr8s, 8ackgrounds, and Sound8ites

A release of Season 1’s art and sound assets for your perusal outside of the videos, use as desktop wallpapers, or what have you. 

Looking 8ack

In March 2020, I got covid for the first time. My workplace had no protections for it yet, so I lost my job. And while bedridden with covid, subsisting off a diet of lukewarm broth, saltines, and nyquil, I set my youtube Watch Later (ok, thats a lie, it was my Likes, which i used ((still use)) as a watch later instead of using the actual watch later function, BUT-) playlist to shuffle. And in this fugue state, I stumbled on the video that would completely change the trajectory of my life.

“What I Learned Writing 50,000 Words of Homestuck Fanfiction”, by Sarah Zedig. I vaguely remembered her from some video about the McElroys and from Hbomberguy’s stream, and I had put off watching this because at the time of its release, I hadn’t yet finished Homestuck. So I shuffled it away for later, and it found its way back into my lap at the perfect time. Having now finished the comic, read the Epilogues, actively reading Homestuck ^2: Beyond Canon, and five months in to my first ever real creative outlet in my semi-abandoned video essay channel, I was interested to hear what this goat had to say.

In the video Sarah went into detail about a ton of wider context about the Homestuck Renaissance that I was fully unaware of, and made a very strong case for her own postcanon work, godfeels. Her passion bled through and I figured, sure, why not, I’ve got nothing better going on, I’ll read the story of Spiderjeggings’ No Good Very Bad Transition. Why not!

55,660 words later, crying alone in bed, I was now a girl. Reading the scene of June making her list of wants the morning after Terezi’s return, I said out loud to myself, hoarse as can be, “I can’t put it off any longer.” 

After reading to current I ended up joining the godfeels fanserver, and from getting settled in these circles I’ve met so many people I wouldn’t have otherwise, and come into myself in ways I can’t begin to fully quantify. I went from one relationship to fourteen to now a stable four, the other person in my head shook back loose after a decade of suppression by me (sorry again, Aegis), I’ve become more cultured, I’ve gained more friends, I’ve gained more hobbies, and most relevant of all… I’ve gained Podfeels.

Podfeels proper actually started in a really funny and impromptu way. In Sarah’s video she mentions wanting to start a podfic adaptation of it, but with that being two years past with no more word, a conversation about it cropped up in the server, and it was revealed that it had been canceled for various reasons. Everyone immediately understood why that had to happen. It was an insane amount of work, especially now that Godfeels was entering the territory of a space opera. But the demand was there among all of us, and after almost a dozen loops of us all going “drat, would be cool. I wish someone would take the helm on that!”, I just went ALRIGHT I GET IT and opened up casting. Podfeels was actually originally a joke name made by someone in the server before I even entered the conversation, but we used it for so long during development that by the time we came to release day it just felt wrong to call the project anything else. The name just stuck.

After a few hours of people daydreaming about it happening, and me encouraging other people to take the helm, I finally gave in and opened up casting. Now, it’s important to understand, I had never directed ANYTHING like this before in my life. I made a really terrible sketch in high school theater class and that’s about it. I’ve always been a bit of a natural leader but never anything with the kind of scale this would require, and it showed. I crowdfunded almost all ideas for what to do and how to handle it, and my best idea for how to do auditions was “just send in a few lines of you doing whatever character you want”. And my language was… insufferably fawning. I was hedging my bets at every opportunity. Every development in the project was “tentative”, I was the “director” until someone else took charge, etc. Looking back its actually kind of adorable? 

Look at that sweetheart. She’s so scared. She has no idea the beautiful changes she is in for.

The casting process was an unmitigated DISASTER. Nobody there knew how to audition, and I didn’t know how to wrangle. We were an unstructured gaggle of doofasses stumbling into each other. And due to the limited pool, I was stretched kind of thin on where to put people. Obviously I stand by all our decisions and love our cast, but because I was pulling entirely from the fanserver, options were very limited. I wanted to get everyone who wanted one into a role, but having to do the math of “this person is 40% good at Character A and 60% good at Character B, but this OTHER person is 80% good at Character B and the closest runner up for Character A is only 35% good” was agonizing.

We ended up deciding to make a few demos first, to test our chops as actors and mine as editor. We had four planned. But after we fully produced our first two demos and had recorded the third… I decided we should immediately start chronological production.

Why did I make this decision, you ask? Well. We had a few months until 4/13/2022. If we immediately all went overdrive, me especially, we had the chance to get our first episode out on the 13th 4/13 anniversary of Homestuck, and like HELL was I about to let us pass that up. 

This was the right call, I think, but it did bring us into a BUNCH of complications. First off, it meant we never really tested our violence and drama chops on the houseraid. Second, if I had waited, we would have been able to dodge our first big hiatus, where I put us on pause for a couple months while we waited to see if our Terezi wanted to leave after she floated the idea, which she ended up doing. If we had stayed in prepro, we would have skipped a huge hiatus and not replaced a key character between episode one and two. It also meant that we didn’t fully solidify an editing pipeline, and I was handling practically all editing until around episode 3. Additional prepro time would have helped us iron that out, as well, rather than me breaking myself on the first couple episodes before bringing in help out of desperation. This rush ALSO led to us having to release episode 1’s video around a week after the audio’s release, and with a fucked up background because I was crunching so hard I didn’t notice I’d accidentally completely butchered John’s bedroom somehow! I think I somehow content aware filled the wall? Fucked if I know why!

This is an abridged version because I want to get us to the meat of the matter today and I feel a lot of the longer story is best saved for a video I plan on making down the line, when we’ve reached 50 hours of runtime. For now, let’s move on.

Adapt8ion

A few folks have asked for indepth adaptation notes for what we change in an episode and why. As a general rule, we make changes with three primary motivations. First, adjusting text-based ideas to sound-based. Godfeels plays with its medium in countless compelling ways that, when shifted to a different medium, are either clunky or incomprehensible. So our first job is to translate those into sound. Second, turning narration into sound effects. We don’t need to discuss sounds in the scene, or a character’s tone, when we can just hear it all ourselves now. This then expands into further issues, however, as some things DO need to stay as narration. There’s a lot of pathos in the narration, and often there’s details that can’t be conveyed through audio alone. But by removing just the audio cues, we are left with very clunky phrasing that does our source material no justice. So we have to rephrase entire sections to give them the same resonance, meaning, and clarity while also getting rid of all the things that are now extraneous in our medium. The third main type of edit is bringing it more in line with what comes later. Godfeels has been running a long time and has become a very different beast from where it began. I love this about it, but some ideas have ended up with insufficient preparation, and some thematic resonances are easy to see looking back but may be partially unintentional. We can take advantage of hindsight and bring certain things more in line with the work’s modern philosophies, such as putting an additional focus on the citizens of Earth C, introducing X as its own entity, playing with Dirk more as a villain, and introducing the question of “what happens to the leftover Junes in a retcon?”, all during Episode 6. 

I’ll be releasing a few other posts soon with detailed adaptation notes for every episode in the coming days, but I’ll leave it here for now and bring us to our final section-

Portr8s, 8ackgrounds, and Sound8ites

While the idea for video versions was a relatively late addition to our process, I’m very proud of the work everyone has put into making them what they are. Our art team and video editor do wonders. First up, we’ve got the talkpogs.

The talkpogs were my own invention, but I can hardly claim they’re an original idea. I’m sure something almost identical has been done before. What directly inspired me, though, was the old Polygon podcasts, where they’d have the hosts faces made out of polygons, with one loose and separated, synced to that host’s audio track. It was the first time I’d seen something like that and I knew I wanted something similar to indicate who was talking. From there it all fell into place pretty easily. The outer ring and the waveform is the character’s text color, and the background is their name color. If those two are the same (as they usually are), I apply a slight darkening to the background just for differentiation. The sprites, though, were all the art team. Unfortunately we didn’t have a base early on, so different artists drew to different scales. 

For the art style I told the artists to try to strike a middleground between Homestuck classic and girlpillz’s style which had just been shown in GF3.1.8.E, where godfeels got its first spritework. Otherwise, designs were largely up to the artists but we had conversations about them as a project. Overall I’m very satisfied with the work everyone turned in.

Backgrounds were a more complicated beast, but paradoxically also have less to talk about. We started out with one background per episode, which was pretty doable, but with the season 1 finale, and our expanded art team, we opted to expand out into a background per setting. The first two are just Pesterquest backgrounds I edited by hand, but after that we started having custom art. That was largely due to restraints lifting as the team grew, but it also turned out pretty good thematically, as the first episode with custom art was Episode 3, where June’s egg cracks. We left official art behind as June left the officially plotted course. I think it’s resonant.

Now we come to our latest introduction. KEY ART. We started doing this in Episode 6 and it’s so sick. Don’t expect these inclusions to be TOO common, but… we have some cool things in store here, and I think you’ll all be really excited to see ‘em. For now, here’s our first and so far only public piece of key art, Dirk menacing June against the tree. The final piece of art of Season 1, and the final piece of art of Season 1’s retrospective. It only seems fair.

Which now brings us to my own inclusion: sound assets. I’m very proud of the work I’ve put in to giving each character and concept their own unique aural profile. From the magical girl burning radiation of Jade’s magic, to the shattering static of June’s retcon, to threading the needle of Hammer, Sword, Plastic Toy, Dice, And Doomsday Device in June’s vrillyhoo. 

That’s all for today. In the coming week or so I’ll put together a few more posts, going over each episode in more detail, from point by point script edit notes, to specific art discussions. I also plan to bring in a few people who have been around since day one to talk about our experience setting up the project.

But for now, look forward to seeing more from us soon. Both in the upcoming devposts, and in Season 2. We've been on a hiatus to get our preproduction pipeline settled, and because we wanted to get a few episodes prepped so we can try to maintain a monthly schedule. But we're getting to the end of this phase now, and will be announcing Episode 7's release date very soon.

Until next time! :::;)

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Hi! Um, I'm bad at communicating. Just wanted to ask you- because maybe you know?

I want to do multiple chapters- because it's probably gonna be too long for only 1- but I don't know if people usually prefer shorter or longer chapters- so uh- any advice?

I'll probably either update regularly or way too soon cuz I plan on writing everything and only posting it when I'm done- so even if it's short there will be more-

So. Um. Yeah. Help me please?

I am a chronically long chapter bitch- but thats because its part of my writing style, for me? I struggle to condense a whole "Act"/ "Arc" in more than like 5k

Now something my english teacher drilled into my tiny malformed skull was "Write however many words the story needs to have" I have like 17 consequtive plotlines and an entire closet of yet to be loaded Chekov's guns- so for ME, the 5k is nessicary to keep things rolling.

HOWEVER- That isn't very sustainable for most people. I'd say a good chapter length is, generally this guide is what I see that WORKS for pacing, engagement, etc. (personal preference as well)

Less than 1k Total? Try one chapter, but if not? Two MAX

Around 1k Total? One to Three-ish max

2-10k? Around Two to Ten ish.

10-20k? At least two, up to like 15

20k+? At least two, up to 25

50k+? At least like three-five, can be up to 60

100k+? At least ten, or like 200 (though less is better at bigger numbers)

Again- most of this is my personal preference, everyone has their niche they enjoy. But if you want my advice, cut off whenever a chapter feels "complete" like a day is finished. (Exception being cliffhangers, but those should be saved for that exact reason so they're that much more impactful)

Id say rule of thumb is make sure each chapter does SOMETHING. I usually base my chapters chronologically over a set event. An entire event will be at least one chapter, if not up to three depending on all that needs to happen.

[ulysses-but-somehow-more-transer]

hi i made up yet another impractical number system/nomenclature for toki pona!!

its base six or seximal, using the digits wan (1), tu (2), san (3), po (4) and luka (5) [as used in jan Usawi's song likujo]

now a lot of number systems use suffixes to denote the position of a given digit (see four = 4 , four-ty = 40, four-hundred = 400). personally i like single syllable suffixes so i could just come up with a bunch of sounds BUT. luckily there already is a really fun tp word with a lot of fairly distinct syllables in it: kijetesantakalu!

so we just add one syllable of kijetesantakalu after every digit of a number? yes! but theres once again a but! we need to either go through the word kinda in reverse order or [much more fun option!]

reverse the order of the digits! (i struggle to explain why i think this is nessecary soo.. trust me bro?). my native language german already does this (at least for double digit numbers) so thats proof enough this makes sense. okay thats a lot of abstract rambling so heres some examples:

"53" (fifsy three)

san-ki luka-je

"3514" (thirsy five nif ten)

po-ki wan-je luka-te san-sa

(i shorten san to sa to avoid ambiguity)

"142513" (ten unexian dozen five nif nine)

san-ki wan-je luka-te tu-sa po-ta wan-ka

cons:

-unnessecarily complicated and therefore against the spirit of tp

-requires knowledge of base six

-will not be widely used so youd need to link this post everytime you use it.

-not actually useful

-you could just say the digits in order

pros:

-fun :33

-seximal

-has kijetesantakalu in it

-anything is better than the current systems

-suprisingly good at large numbers (works until 6^8-1 (dec) and would be fairly easy to extend)

[sp1rit-realm]

healing <3 (please do not repost without credit!)

i, for the first time in a very long time, am feeling true happiness. over the course of the last ten years, i felt my joy slowly leave me. i was only a kid when i felt myself start to deteriorate, and thats such a scary feeling. i reached my lowest about four years ago, and for the past three, ive been working to get better. i was in therapy for five days a week at one point, ive tried thousands of different medications, ive gone through hundreds of journals, and ive cried to my therapist about one million times. i have hit rock bottom too many times to count, but im standing here today. i still have bad weeks--bad months, but i smile now. i smile genuinely, and i do so for so long that my cheeks begin to hurt. its gotten better, and it will for you, too <3

[cyberwitchhhhhhhhh]

What chapter is opening up for you ?🪐

Pile#1

Cards:Three of cups,The lovers ,Five of cups,Seven of cups,King of wands

Okay pile one ! So I’m seeing that a chapter of being one of many of people so having to fit in with other peers to be seen so people can love you I’m seeing whatever somebody else is doing or you are trying to play to many roles at once for somebody to love you and this is a very dangerous cycle to walk into your intuition is going to be very heavy in this cycle because your guides want you to know that you cant take everyones hand or everyones promises or you need to have more determination over what your life and what you already have don’t follow the crowd in desperation follow what your decisions are leading you to I’m also seeing watch from a distance so you can the type of people your dealing with don’t determine your actions off of impulse or the fire to do something your intuition is going to block you for a reason listen.🪐

Pile#2

Cards:Eight of cups,Knight of cups,Ace of wands,Six of cups

Okay pile two ! Im seeing that a chapter of feeling like you need to quickly move on is going to arise its going to take time to move from those things that gave you comfort its going to take time to finally see the bullshit but it doesn’t mean you have to go on to the next relationship the next partner to make yourself feel better you don’t need to take every proposal or offer its time to emotionally ground yourself for some time for you step in the water for love again you have the potential to love someone again but you don’t have to take action right away like its okay to play around with people and no i don’t mean cheating but its okay to test out people to see what you truly like to settle down its okay to test drive but your free to test out things go ahead and do it .🪐

Pile#3

Cards:Queen of pentacles,Ten of pentacles,Three of pentacles,Page of swords

Okay pile three ! Im seeing that a chapter of wanting to take care of yourself is something thats on your mind right about now while your working on whatever it is that you feel like needs more work on theres always luck on your side or either some of you are trying to figure out what your sexuality is spirit wants you to know that there by your side theres no need to step into the unknown for help when you have your there is a new hope thats trickling in new growth for yourself is coming in all you have to do is stay loyal to yourself and know that the process isn’t easy but know people are routing for you and you don’t need to feel on edge because you need to look at the world a different way different things are going to teach you the value of life and understanding that life only gives you these hard task because they know your going to take it and run with it and learn from it and energize you to do better.🪐

[graylinesspam]

Been thinking about Ahsoka trying not to look injured. She's a soldier she knows better than to show weakness in front of an enemy. Or a subordinate.

Their transport was shot down fifteen miles from extract. She drags herself from the smoking heap of twisted metal on her elbows. A trail of blood following her slow drag forward.

The wound is nasty. The whole outer side of her thigh is crisscrossed in slashes. The muscle torn through by the twisted metal and jagged rocks. With shaking hands she picks away at the pebbles embedded in her flesh. Her mouth stretched open in a snarling hiss at the pain.

She tears away what's left of the left leg of her leggings and shoves her gauntlet in her mouth to bite down on while she secures the makeshift bandage over her leaking wound.

There are others awake now. Dragging themselves from the wreckage and she panics. She cannot lead in her condition. They will carry her through the jungle. And they will all die. Because if Ahsoka stops moving, even for a moment, she will pass out. And she is the only one with the force awareness to lead them through the minefield between here and the evac point.

She wrenches herself to her feet and tries to take stock of her surroundings. On a rock only two feet from her a loose kama is wedged under a rock. The lost armour of an unlucky arc trooper.

She snatches the fabric up and secures the strap high around her waist. Its a long piece of stiff thick fabric. Warm, blast resistant, and fire proof. Its made to fall just below a trooper's knee. But even secured around her waist it falls to her calf.

It hides her wounds well.

As her boots crush through the charred rubble the other troops fall in around her.

"How are you Commander?" yak asks. He's a Seargent in Carnivore company. Experienced enough but still not entirely familiar with Ahsoka. These troops are not her closest brothers. And right now that will serve her.

Because this isn't the time for her to be a sister. This is the time for her to be a Commander.

"listen up men. We have half a day to make it to evac. That's ten miles of uncharted separatist controlled territory. There will be droid patrols and there will be a mine field between us and the flat lands. We have thirty minutes tops before someone comes to investigate this crash.

I want you to gather what gear we need. No more that two spare ammo canisters a person. Enough rations for yourself for the next 20 hours. Do not overload yourselves.

Now go."

The three remaining men rush back to the rubble to dig out the medkit a d whatever else they might need. Several take the opportunity to patch up their own wounds and relieve themselves in the surrounding trees before they regroup with Ahsoka.

They move out with ten minutes to spare.

The jungle, if thats what this biome is called, is significantly more dry than Ahsoka expects for such lush and wet greenery. Something about deep root systems and underground springs. She probably should have paid more attention to the breifing.

The ground is hard and dry under her boots. She marches forward with purpose. Her gait is a standard precise series of movements. The kind of perfect pace you might see in a training holo. But her muscles scream at her with every jostling step. Shreiking for relief.

Several times they stop to drink from the wet flat leaves they break off of the plants around them. But their pauses are brief. The droid patrols are tight. And they have to keep moving to stay ahead of their range.

Ahsoka maintains her demeanor. She is the commander now. Nothing else. She does not slouch. She does not twitch. She does not grimace. She keeps her face passive. Her posture is rigidly regulation. Shoulders squared, feet apart. She does not lock her knees.

She rarely speaks, instead relying on hand signals to direct her men around the enemie's movements. But when she does speak, her tone is hard and authoritative. Something she learned watching Cody direct his men.

By the time they've hiked five miles through the bush and the trees part for a wide field of tall feather grass swaying in the breeze, Ahsoka has already bled through her makeshift bandages. The tips of her montrals and fingers have started to go cold from blood loss and her sock grows wet and sticky with blood.

But that deceptively peaceful field is the minefeild they've been waiting for. A hundred seperatist charges are scattered under the dirt.

She turns to the men. "I want you to stay with me. Tight on my six. We make it through this field together. Follow my steps. Do not stray. Do not take a step, do not breathe without my permission. Is that clear?

Three visors nod at her. Not a moment of hesitation to the movement. They trust her implicitly. She is the only one that can get them through this.

They form a single file line. Close enough that Ahsoka can feel Yak's body heat pressing into her back.

She studies the edge of the field before she finds the path of least resistance. A place in the force where the danger feels quieter. And she follows the feeling. Every single step is a risk, guided by the force.

The energy it takes to converse so closely with the threads of fate drain her further. Her vision flickers until she decides to close her eyes instead of fighting the dizziness. She walks blindly through the field.

Shuffles is probably a more accurate term, fitting four people through the narrow path of safety is a challenge, but like all of the previous its a challenge that she meets.

It takes them two hours moving in tight zig-zag through the field, inching forward like a bug climbing the grout between bricks.

They make it through to the otherside. Small celibratory shoulder pats are exchanged before they spread out in a more comfortable distance. They take the opportunity to change their bandages and drain the last of their leaf water. And Again Ahsoka stands at attention amongst them. Unwilling to wilt even for a moment.

They set out to March again. Though the trek through the grassland is much easier than climbing over tree roots it is still a hard march. Several times they have to duck down into the grass and lay on their bellies to avoid the scans of passing droid patrols in the distance.

The heat of the kama leaves a sweat ring around her waist. And the constant shifting of it over her wounds makes them more inflamed with every step. But still they push forward.

Five hours it takes to walk ten miles. They're still five short from the neutral zone but her troops are flagging fast. Even the slow trek through the minefeild isn't enough to keep their stamina up in their injured states.

Ahsoka finally takes the time to sneak away and change her field dressing. Real gauze and bandages staunch the bleeding better. Though she considers burning her wounds shut for a few nerve-racking minutes. She decides against it. The pain would probably knock her out and she can't afford that yet.

She rallies her troops again. Barking orders for them to get up and get in line. The evac point is just down a hillside. Five miles will feel like three going downhill, she promises them.

No one groans in anything more than pain but she can feel their unwillingness none the less. They might need some rest but Ahsoka doesn't have the time to spare on that right now, she needs to get her troops out of here.

They stumble and fall and curse and groan and complain. But they get to the bottom of the hill. They get out of enemy comm range and Ahsoka can finally activate her tracking beacon.

It takes another twenty minutes for their gunship to arrive. Yak, Sneak, and Burner take turns keeping an eye on their six and laying face down in the grass, trying to catch their breaths. The exhaustion flows off of them in waves. Ahsoka has to focus on blocking it out to keep herself from collapsing.

When the ship finally lands they all limp aboard. But Ahsoka steps up calmly behind them. She could drop the command persona now. But its the only thing keeping her from collapsing to the floor. So she stands tall and grips the overhead bar on the trip back to the ship.

When the gunship makes it back to the hanger Echo and Kix are waiting with a small team of medics to asses the team on their return. It took longer than predicted. Hours longer and though they aren't surprised they are anxious to find the reason. Rex couldn't make it down but he insisted Echo check on the new Arcs and Ahsoka.

When the gunship doors slide open a battered and bloodied commander steps down her clothes singed and stained. A kama secured over her hip like a real clone commander's.

It's shape is significantly more feminine on her. Hugging her waist and draping over her hip and down her thigh. The slightest of her waist and the curve of her hip accentuated by the silhouette. But it speaks to the same authority that anyone would expect from a commander. A kama is a sign of rank. Those that choose to wear it do so as a reminder to their subordinates that they earned the addition to their armor. A kama commands respect. It announces authority. Echo had trained long and hard to earn the authority that sits around his hips now.

The same authority that Ahsoka uses to quickly direct Cadaver to roll his gurney up to the trooper with the twisted ankle that she helps down from the ship. His brothers limping down behind him.

Her voice rings with a calm urgency that no one disobeys.

Each man is passed to a medic and carted quickly away. Neither of the Arcs made it back. Ahsoka walks deliberately up to Echo and Kix as the others rush by.

"How are your injuries?" Kix says helping her onto the gurney with one hand. Once she's hauled herself on and they are more alone than they were before Ahsoka nearly collapses into the thin bedding of the gurney.

"medium, I think." she hisses through her teeth. Tears break the line of her eyes now. Her demeanor is completely different in the presence of her brothers.

"Hiding anything under your new accessory?" Kix demands in a way that says he already knows the answer.

"mmhm" she wheeze's through the pain.

Echo expertly pulls the kama from her waist exposing the gauze wrapped mess to Kix as Coric pushes the gurney faster towards the medbay. They all have to job along to keep up.

The wound was mostly concealed before but the blood trail from her thigh to her boots and back out of the seams between the leather as it pooled concerns them all greatly.

"I don't know how you were still walking." Kix hisses as he peels the gauze away and reveals the shredded mess of her leg.

Echo's stomach roils at the sight of her ground flesh.

"never stopped" she replies simply. "not for a second."

Kix rolls his eyes. "what, do you want a medal. You could have collapsed."

"but I didn't", Ahsoka stresses. "I never fainted. I walked all the way here and got on the gurney myself. No one had to carry me." she insists.

It seems very important to her that they know that. They she never faltered, not even for a moment.

So when Echo is filing the reports, or relaying the story in the barracks later that night, he makes sure to tell them that.

She looked like a real Al'verde climbing off of that gunship. Like wolffe or Cody or any respected ori'vod. She's grown into the role.

"Too bad she doesn't wear a kama, it looked really good on her." Coric adds from his bunk. A yawn overtaking him the next moment.

Mumbled agreements fill the bunks around him.

[chiisana-lion]

she sells sea shells on the sea shore but the value of these shells will fall due to the laws of supply and demand no one wants to buy shells cause theres loads on the sand step one you must create a sense of scarcity shellsll sell much better if the people think theyre rare you see bear with me take as many shells as you can find and hide em on an island stockpile em high until theyre rarer than the diamond step two gotta make the people think that they want em really want em really fuckin want em hit em like bronson influencers product placement featured primetime entertainment if you havent got a shell then your just a fuckin wasteman three its monopoly invest inside some property start a corporation make a logo do it properly shells must sell thatll be your new philosophy swallow all your morals theyre a poor mans quality four expand expand expand clear forests make land fresh blood on hands five why just shells why limit yourself she sells sea shells sell oil as well six guns sell stocks sell diamonds sell rocks sell the water to a fish sell the time to a clock seven step on the gas take your foot off the brakes and run to be the president of the united states eight big smile mate big wave thats great now the truth is overrated tell lies out of the gate nine polarize the people controversy is the game it dont matter if they hate you if they all say your name ten. the world is yours step out on the stage to a round of applause youre a liar a devil a cheat precure and you sold sea shells on the sea shore

[jay-and-pumpkinmon]

I have some questions for the two of you, if you don't mind answering. You don't need to answer.

What kind of Digivice do the two of you use? Is it JUST you two? How long have you known each other? Do you do everything together, or do you prefer to do things apart? If you had the chance, would you change partners? This last one is for Pumpkinmon specifically, but if you could go back and change your evolution would you?

Wow, thats a lot of questions... Good thing we've got some free time! We'll take turns answering the questions.

For our Digivice type, our first Digivice was a D3- it was a neon yellow hand-me-down we got from my cousin and his partner (a Tyrannomon). About two years ago, we actually managed to get a Fusion Loader! It's a nice, deep shade of grey that we both really like. We had to save for a long time to get it, but we absolutely love it.

Well, considering we use a Fusion Loader, no! I am Jay's partner, but we have several digimon coming and going from our household as they please. We do have three other permanent digimon residents that reside in the fusion loader with me, but we also live with Jay's aunt and her partner Vi, who's a Gatomon.

We have known each other since around the time I was nine(ten, almost eleven whole years now!). When Pumpkinmon and I met, he was still an Impmon. I had just moved in with my dad full-time and was starting at a new school; and Pumpkinmon and I met on my way home one day.

Well, it depends on what we're doing? We spend our workday together, of course, we split house chores with Jay's aunt and Vi, and play a couple video games together too. That being said, Jay is and always has been a very introverted person and absolutely needs time to themselves. They love us all, but being around people and Digimon constantly can be very emotionally draining for them. That being said, I'm very extroverted- whenever Jay isn't around, I'm usually hanging out with the other Digimon in the household!

Well, I can't speak for Pumpkinmon, but I absolutely wouldn't. Pumpkinmon is my rock, my whole world, and I love him to bits. I honestly couldn't even imagine a better partner. (Jay, I need you to know I feel exactly the same way 🧡)

Oh boy! I've actually got a story for this. When I first evolved into a Pumpkinmon, I was actually incredibly upset. I had been a Wizardmon for almost five years, and I had been training so, so hard to Digivolve into a Baalmon! I wanted to be a Beelzemon someday, because I thought it'd be super cool. But now that I've been a Pumpkinmon for awhile? It just feels right. In my opinion, it fits me so much better than being a Baalmon. I've really grown to love this new form over a very short time, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Anyways, I hope this answers any questions you had! We tried to be detailed, but if you're still curious or want an even more in depth answer to the questions, please don't hesitate to ask us!

[outsidereveries]

hii i read your rules and if im not mistaken, you do readings on local celebrities too? if no, just ignore haha, but if yes:

can i request a reading on what selena gomez, hailey bieber, and justin bieber’s thoughts are on the drama thats going on around them rn? im curious

— the drama between justin, hailey and selena: their thoughts

disclaimer: my readings might be inaccurate because of misinterpretation and changing energies.

justin: nine of swords rx, five of swords, queen of wands, eight of wands rx, seven of cups rx • three of wands rx

that guy, i swear, has low self-esteem. he’s afraid. i don’t know if he’s afraid of hailey or selena, but he just wants to give up. i assume it’s about hailey because SHE IS FUCKING SAGITTARIUS! i feel that he made a mistake marrying her, and quarrels between them in the future aren’t impossible. at this point i believe he’ll really try to get rid of her. he’s feeling that his past is coming back to haunt him, so in conclusion, i really think he just needs to be alone, without trying to enter into relationships for a while.

hailey: six of wands rx, ten of swords rx, queen of cups, four of pentacles rx, knight of swords • three of pentacles rx

although her rising is in sagittarius, currently she cares that selena is on her side (or at least they know the other’s side and appreciate it) and it’s really important to her. that drama for her is all about money. she might’ve want more money and i assume this is the reason the drama has started (and finished). especially when knight of swords, who is neither justin nor selena is there. the bottom card of the deck strengthen this. hailey is letting the drama go, so from her side i believe there’s really no hard feelings.

selena: king of swords, knave of wands, six of swords, ace of wands, four of wands rx • knight of cups

so, the swords person appears also here, and hailey too, so this is definitely significant! the drama could be actually pr move, but i don’t quite know if this is for selena’s benefit or hailey’s. i could say it’s for hailey but it kinda doesn’t work? selena and hailey really look to be chill about the drama, so i am also not worried about her. perhaps, she might’ve contacted justin about the drama? that might be why justin is feeling like a shitter shit than.. usual.

after all this time, at this drama justin might be on selena’s mind about how he feels, how he is reacting to all of this, she genuinely hopes he’s accepting this as better as he can.

i kinda expected the third person, to be honest. i am sorry the request is done only now.

[ryuuka-balaen]

job when i accepted it; 10 days away from home, 7 days working. little bit of break time between :)

client when i arrived; "yeah actually we dont need you that much so youre only working five days" oh okay that'll still pay my bills so thats okay i guess

client after the first day of work; "you only get to work for three days but have to be here the full ten. also we're not paying your standby rate. here's $35/day for food. also fuck you." i mean i guess its better than not working but I could be painting models and streaming and like, enjoying life right now and instead im rotting in a hotel room waiting to work,,,

[monthyear-majo]

1. Overwhelmed

Right now I am at a point in my life where I feel pressured to be better.

Do you ever see posts about people you used to know and notice how they are doing so well in life? Well, do you really know what's going on in their life? Probably not. But they do a great job at making you feel jealous because they have their life together better than you do. I am only 25, yet still I feel like I have no time. Is that normal? To feel like you have no time? I think it is. I mean, it can't possibly be just me. Life is just so fast and I feel like I've not done anything at all but when I see those kinds of posts from people I used to know it makes me feel like I am left behind.

I work at a cafe. I make drinks all day and come home smelling like tea. I love tea but I don't like being here for ten hours a day. I'm a full time student right now too. I'm majoring in something I thought would at least make me happy but as I grow older and realize how long it's taking me to graduate with a bachelor's degree, I ask myself if I want to be in school anyway. I'm so close yet so far. There is always something wrong with my transcript, always gotta make appointments to talk to my advisor and the problem is never truly resolved. So my graduation date gets pushed behind. I am 25 and only have an associates in which I can probably use but I'm too afraid of change to do anything about it. While my job is demanding and pays shit— I don't really want to leave.

I was clinically diagnosed with depression. a year ago but if you ask me I've had depression for years. I never told my family because having depression in a hispanic household is real taboo. Sometimes I'd bring it up to my parents and they would say it's all in my head. Duh— its a mental disorder? Anyway, they bypassed it all of the time.

Now I struggle to keep myself from wallowing in self-pity but it's kind of hard when you sometimes hate yourself. Your mind, body, and soul. Those things are important and if you hate one of them or most of them, are you even human? Can I call myself a human if I despise the three traits that are meant to make me human? Well, I have a beating heart and a functioning brain I guess.

The financial tension is also kind of insane right now. We have a shitty president who is running up again for elections this term and his runner up? An even shittier candidate who hates anyone who isn't white. Our country is in flames and we keep adding to the fire. Especially our government who make decisions based on ignorance and racism. Now? Now it's hard to afford a gallon of milk because you make 14 dollars an hour, ten hours a day for five days but you still have to pay your twenty-three hundred dollar rent by next month and your $500+ utility bills and you decide you don't really need that gallon of milk. But wait— your tuition payment is due next week and thank god you get paid on Friday! Only your boss pays you three days late causing you to overdraft on your account because planet fitness took out that damn monthly payment that you owe them for using their gym. Do you even go? The answer is no, you don't. So why do you give them 22 dollars every month? Because you don't want to go all the way up there to cancel. Stupid. You've got all of these payments to make, can't afford to help your parents with the rent (because thats the kicker! They're the ones paying the 2300 but you can't even help them with half because you don't make enough unless you quit school and work seven days a week) and all you're left with is .23 cents in your bank account. Not to mention you're 17k in debt with credit cards and loans, some of that debt shouldn't even be yours but you offer your credit to your parents because you love them and want to help them out some kind of way.

Point is, you have no money and no way of getting out of this unstable financial situation without endangering your education and social life. You work to pay bills. You live to not die but die slowly while living. How is that fair?

And then you get depressed but haven't you seen the homeless people who have no food of shelter? Don't you see that the Palestinian's are getting killed? For what? For what? What did they do? Why is America, why is Israel, why—

Because it's all about money. it's all about political power and guess what? You can't do anything about it. Maybe you can boycott, but you can barely feed yourself and you live in a country where everything is about status and power. And they are dying. And suddenly you feel like you don't have a right to be upset or depressed. You are safe, here in a worthless money-driven country and they are there, dying of starvation.

But I am overwhelmed. I work and I study and I still get nowhere. My grades are C-average and despite what everyone says about C's get degrees, you're not achieving anything.

I am typing this at work. it's slow today. I still don't want to do anything and I'm feeling a sort of anger. At myself? Probably. I am tired and I somehow just want to go home and watch my favorite pirate show.

[the-firebird69]

and tons of psuedo empire bases are out and they take over the morlock bases. and they say it too then we take it back and they then and so on. no. it wont your busy. and are. and the go and try and need ships. and the psuedo empire took the morlok bases and ten out of twenty no took omst of them and allthe refuel and the mrolock have only two billin ships left momentarily. and then less finally none. and it is aw ar really. and outsidet he mount for an attck and inside too one milloin and are at it now. huge huge numbers. and fifty households and yeh only 100 left and tonight anohter push left off a day there.

-most bunkers out tonight. and go fast. the midwest east is at 10% and the function half that. and thats it. only three mac complexes but are about 100x20 each way too huge. clones fight them shortly. washington is at ten percent and five functionally. bc area at fifty percent bunkers fifty percent funciton. the upper midwest in gneral is ten percent and five percent. new england and nova soctia is ten pecent and five and pa and mass. nh are at fifty percent twenty five inside the remaining. tons of them out. yes. globally the one thousand southern hemispehre tip up is about ten percent left and are at five percent and yes the last isolated door. form there to the jungles about twnty and ten inside. and no not that low go\lobally. are at fifty still yes and number of complexs no bunckers in each complex most at fifty or better. but tonight a huge attack. are attacking the macs now and some forg mainly the morlock. and the macs stay in. and hit the morlock need more stuff. and take it frm the morlok who attack even ingut the melted equiopment. losses are very high. numbers lost yes. its a huge huge force that is out. they lose shiops and had 12 no 14 b and now have 10B and they lose them and fast but are huge and the psuedo empiire takestthem and are at about 12B and are geting there. say it but lose their bunkers. and morlock lost some bases and refueland attack da and night now.

and we think on it.need heat intel and more. we take some bases and fuel depots. now too. and they think we are macs. and macs plan to and ok we do so. heard it this am. and we move. see them shortly. and arae out shortly. tons of us

and we raise our Armies now and fast. heard it all they see it now. and need it. ships out soon. the morlock go and fight. tommy f in the way here. and say it he holds us off the quandry and macs will get it. we move teh tihng and suck ok we suck and did

Thor Freya

Olympus

Zues Hera

[j0kers-light]

How do you think Joker would deal with menstruation? Or if reader had a long delay and they both thought she was pregnant 😂 (but then it turned out to be a false alarm)

Hey hi anon!! 🖤✨

I couldn't help myself and jumped out of line of ask requests! I woke up from a nap with the perfect idea for this so here we go! I hope you enjoy anon!

It is common knowledge that Joker does not use condoms. The tried and true saying, 'wrap it before you tap is' does not apply to him, mkay?

This man does not care. Its risky, its dangerous, and its incredibly hot to slide into you with nothing in the way.

That friction of skin between skin just scratches an itch of intimacy that Joker never knew he needed. Now he knows why condoms are so expensive. Its a clear indicator not to use them!

Joker knows you secretly enjoy it too or you would have put an end to raw sex from the beginning.

Joker does not take into consideration if you're taking any birth contraceptive measures [thats your choice as the reader] he's got bigger things to worry about, but there was always a twinge of hesitation in his mind.

What if you get pregnant?

Joker is NOT father material despite the countless nannies and other random people from your apartment building that compliment his DILF status and skills every time you babysit your neighbor's kid.

Joker is not one for children, but he sorta kinda likes Gio. The little tyke's got spunk and he's so well mannered and you look ethereal whenever you hold Gio and the sunlight hits you a certain—

Okay. Fine! So Joker has toyed with the idea!

He let his mind wander once or twice but it doesn't mean he's actively tryna knock you up! He is not about that life. Gotham City has to burn first and there's too much fun to cause to be weighted down with a child.

Nothing is for certain but Joker knows. He knows you can and will be a great mother just... not with his kid.

Joker is fully aware of your 'time of the month.' You're more moodier than usual and you always desert him in the guest bedroom for the comfort of your private room.

You don't come out except to eat and you take said meals in your sanctuary. He hates the one week of the month where his Light is not around.

He does not like when you shut him out and hide in your shell but you grumble 'hormones' or 'leave me lone, J' and waddle back to safety.

Joker wants nothing more to cuddle up with you and rub your cramps away or hand feed you all the weird snacks you crave while your buried under the blankets, but you won't let him near you!

Why won't you let him spoil you?

Contrary to popular belief, Joker is smart and very detail driven. He keeps up with your mensural cycle because he needs to know when his Light will be out of commission.

He needs to know when to stay out of your way and when to keep your favorite snacks stocked in the penthouse. Since you won't let him near you, he'll keep you satisfied with acts of service.

A happy Bunny, is a happy Joker.

So..... he's a lit-tle confused when your expected start date rolls around and you're still well, normal.

You haven't snapped at him once or asked for some ridiculous food pairing that should not go together.

You're still the bunny that he fell ten times over for. And when nothing happens for three days in a row.. Joker silently panics.

Its day five without any bleeding and Joker is a nervous wreck. You noticed a slight change in his behavior recently but with your upset stomach, you haven't given him any more attention.

You've been nauseous since the beginning of the week and no ginger ale, saltine crackers, or other home remedies that Sarai texted you to try have worked. If you don't feel any better in the morning, you're going to the ER and she better be on-call.

You were at your wits end trying to treat this weird stomach bug when she sends another message that makes your heart drop to the floor.

When's ur last period ever think bout that?

You drop your phone and spiral down a rabbit hole. When was your last period? Shouldn’t you be due for one soon? You snap out of your thoughts and open your period tracker and groan aloud when you notice you're five days late.

"Oh no. Oh nope nope nopeity nope." You look around the room like it miraculously held the answers to your dilemna. You've never been late a day in your life and right on time, your imaginary angel appeared on your shoulder.

"You and J do go at like rabbits..." She grimaced.

On your other shoulder your brash devil appeared. She was in rare form with a wide grin, stretching from ear to ear.

"And we be taking them loads straight to the womb! I bet you’re regretting not wrapping that sausage every time huh you cum whore? Haha! Pregnant with a psychopath's baby! That's wild! Couldn’t be me tho!”

She doubled over laughing and your angel shot her a glare. "It isn’t funny. This affects you too! Y/n, ignore her. CVS is on the corner babe. Aisle nine, lets go."

You nodded to yourself and grabbed your phone and keys, headed to the door but Joker came out of nowhere and blocked your way.

He took in your frazzled appearance. Your hands were shaking and you failed to care that you were only wearing yoga pants and one of his hoodies.

"Where ya going, pretty girl?"

His hands touched yours and discreetly took your keys from you. And you're so out of it, you hardly noticed.

"I uh, there's um.."

"Use your words, Y/n." Joker urged you.

You breathed in and out before meeting his curious eyes.

He's ever your rock; calm and ready to tackle any situation you throw at him. Would he handle this one if you told him the truth?

This would ruin all of his plans. You were supposed to be a temporary stop in his jorney called life. You would be a liability if you came out and said, 'oh hey Joker! I'm late!'

"LaTe for what?"

You blinked rapidly. Did you say that aloud?!! Joker arched an eyebrow and waited for you to answer him. Your mouth flopped like a fish.

Thank the heavens that Joker is so patient with you. He rolled his eyes and guided you into the powder room off of the foyer.

From there, he picked you up and sat you down on the counter. He stood between your legs, gently rubbing your legs.

"Talk to me, bunny. What's stuck in that uhh.. pretty lit-tle head of yours, hmm? You can tell meeeeeee."

You burst into tears and Joker froze like a statue. Those tears of yours were his kryptonite.

"I'm late! I haven't had my period yet!"

Joker clicked his tongue and set to work wiping your tears away. He was a little rough while doing it but the motion helped calm you down. Joker was still rusty with being affectionate and you smiled at his sweet gesture.

"I know."

You glanced up at him, "Whah?"

Joker repeated himself and leaned forward on his palms near your hips. "You're uhh, five, days late, doll. I need ya to do me a favor. Can ya do that?" He waited until you stopped sniffing.

Your nod was his clue to continue.

He pushed three bottles of water next to you. You stared down at them and the ominous brown paper bag on the counter. You just now noticed it.

"I need you to drink these and then... take these."

Joker knew you would freak out when he dumped the bag over to reveal the pregnancy tests he made Mac buy this morning. Joker was tired of waiting. If this was happening, he'd be the first to know before getting Sarai involved with a final medical confirmation.

You started hyperventailing until Joker grabbed your face with his hands. "Bunny... bunny... hey. Look at me. There she is. Breathe. Drink n' we'll take them to-get-ther."

"Y-You promise?" You hiccuped.

He hated seeing the fear clouding your coloured eyes. You clung to his wrist, looking up at him as if he had all the answers.

It was obvious that your were overwhelmed and scared. Joker would have to push aside his own jitters and be the stronger person here. He exhaled with a marred smile.

"I prooomise Sweetheart. Now! Drink up for me."

Joker offered you the first water bottle and you took it with the hopes this would all be false alarm.

You were pacing in the foyer with Joker seated nearby. Even with every sharp turn you made, his eyes never strayed from you.

You were a ball of nerves and he hated that you were biting your poor nails to the quick.

He was about to tell you to stop when the timer in the bathroom went off. You stared at the doorway as if it were radioactive. One of your favorite songs continued to play as the timer yet you resumed your pacing.

Joker called out your name to no reply. You were looping back around to past by him and he grabbed your arm. "Light, its time to check."

You shook your head. "I-I-I can't... you're gonna hate me and... and leave.. I just!" You yelped when Joker jerked you into his arms. He sighed into your untamed curls and squeezed you close.

He was too calm during all of this. How was he so calm?!

It was really bothering you until your head rested on his chest and you got to feel his heart beating erratically. Joker was nervous too but he didn't show it and that made you tear up even more.

He was bottling his emotions to be a shoulder for you to lean on.

It made no sense just how caring Joker was to you. He was a changed man indeed.

Joker tipped your head up with his finger. "You want me to check for ya?" He chuckled at your furious nod. Of course you did, why did he even ask? "M'aright, lemme go, doll. Them nails are killin' me."

You mumbled out an apology and let J go. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He sighed and glanced at the four pregnancy test lined up on the counter. Leave it to his doll to be neat even while under duress.

He didn't want to do this but you didn't have the courage to. So Joker was left to face one of his worst fears all alone.

There wasn't a proper procedure to these things so he just snagged the first one he could get ahold of and eyed the screen.

A bucket of ice was dumped over his head.

Positive.

Two blue lines held so much power. His ears were ringing and he barely heard your frantic knocking on the door.

"Um Joker? Y-You're too quiet. I-I’m coming in." You opened the door and took one look at a frozen Joker holding a pregnancy test and feared the worst.

Judging by his schooled features, you already knew the results but you had to see for yourself. You picked up the other three tests on the counter but did a double take.

"What? They’re negative. Oh my God. They’re negative! J, I'm not--" You turned to show Joker but he had already shook himself out of his daze and snatched the tests from your hands.

Joker's warped mind was playing tricks on him. It had to be. Because these tests were negative. He conferred with the one in his hand but it remained that life altering, positive.

Joker was conflicted and his green eyes darted up at you. Your smile faded seeing his intense emeralds, "J, what's wrong?"

"Thisssss one is positive. I'm calling the doc." He threw them all into the wastebin and was about to leave when you stepped in his path.

"Joker, wait! Three out of four, I think its safe to agree with the majority here." You were feeling back to normal now your pregnacy scare was past you but Joker was still fighting his delusions.

"I wanna be sure, Light. I'm not trusting a uhh drugstore test with somethin' like this." He rested his forehead against yours and you could feel his hands shaking as they cupped your face.

This was really getting to him. You peered through your lashes at J. He wouldn't let this go until he knew for sure from a professional. You covered his hands with your own. It was your turn to be strong and be there for Joker.

You kissed him softy and he chased after you when you broke away. "Okay, J, you can call Sarai."

He sighed and tugged you closer for the time being. You didn't know who needed this hug the most; you or Joker.

Your eyes naturally fell to the wastebin where the tests lay, mocking you and J.

There was a palpable change in the air. This interaction changed the future for you and J. In the heat of the moment, neither of you considered protection. It was scary to think this could have ended very differently. You were sighing in relief but Joker was at odds with the outcome. Even with his fears put to rest, a small part of him wanted all four tests to be positive.

Simply because it would be a journey to experience with you.

[syn4k]

strange times we're living in panic and hysteria stranger in london rich man dont care for ya narcissist mindset spread like malaria sit back and watch the show america britain split through fickle shit a government of hypocrite politicians sit in parliment not adequate (c'mon) only jokin only pressin dont be stressin im a peaceful adolescent theres no need to be unpleasant write my thesis in a rhyme scheme to analyze the brain while my fingers on the trigger of a money game oh blame blame blame the storm it comes our way and those who cry those distorted lies poison in the veins but be watching for the blame blame blame blame its easier to blame we put the mirror on ourselves we're all part of this old money game (oooh) this old money game (ooh) this old- money is a game and a ladder we climb it turns a saint into a sinner with his finger in crime i'll break it down for you motherfuckers line by line this is business economics in a nursery rhyme. She sells seashells on the seashore but the value of these shells Will Fall due to the laws of supply and demand no one wants to buy shells if theres loads on the sand step one you must create a sense of scarcity shells will sell much better if theyre rare you see bear with me take as many shells as you can find and take them on an island stockpile em high until theyre rarer than the diamond step two you gotta make the people think that they want em really want em really FUCKING want them hit em like bronson influencers product placement sponsored primetime entertainment if you havent got a shell then youre just a fucking waste man three its a monopoly invest inside some property start a corporation make a logo do it properly shells must sell that will be your new philosophy swallow all your morals theyre a poor mans quality four EXPAND EXPAND EXPAND clear forests make land fresh blood on hands five WHY JUST SHELLS WHY LIMIT YOURSELF SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS SELL OIL AS WELL SIX! guns sell stocks sell diamonds sell rocks sell the time to the fish sell the water to a clock seven put your foot on the gas take uour foot off the breaks then run to be the president of the united states eight big smile mate big wave thats great now the truth is overrated tell lies out the gate nine polarize the people controversy is the game it dont matter if they hate you if they all say your name ten. the world is yours. step out on the stage to a round of applause you're a liar a cheat a devil a whore and you sell seashells on the seashore. rain rain rain rain the storm it comes our way and those who cry those distorted lies poison in the veins but be looking for the blame blame blame blame its easier to blame we put the mirrors back ourselves we're all part of this old money game (ooh) this old money game (ooh) this old (ooh)