#only if people enable me :)
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It is amazing how the "people that love and uplift transwomen" website will instantly fucking maul a transwoman if she even remotely insinuate that using radfem rhetoric harms trans people
#this is about punkitt making a post literally just saying ''you shouldn't treat masculinity as a threat because it harms trans people''#and straight up getting death threats over it#how is it so hard for people to understand that treating masculinity as a threat directly harms transwomen#that it treats transwomen who show any sort of masculinity as a failure#it reminds me of trans people on 4chan because it enables so much self-loathing#you cannot argue ''men/masculinity are inherently evil'' and claim it's different from radfem/TERF rhetoric because you're trans#it just projects unrealistic body standards onto women#many women including cis women have masculine traits. I know women who have stubble and grow shittons of body hair#likeâ''biological sex'' is NOT a binary it is a social construct just like any other#and also only hyper focusing hate on masculinity because of patriarchy isn't an effective way of addressing patriarchy at all#hating a group of people based on their traits is not the same as being progressive. acknowledgingâand more importantly. teaching peopleâ#âand how it gives them certain privileges over others and to call it out and dismantle those systems is so fucking powerful you have no idea#also I'm going to be so for real with you. the vast majority of transmen do NOT have the privilege you think they do#it's the privilege of being able to pass more than anything. which any trans person would know thats really fucking hard!!!#I love rambling in the tags so much it's so great#sorry for this lol#queer discourse#also addendum: when I say 'women' it's all encompassing. if anyone gets pissy at me for saying 'women' and thinking I'm not including â#âtranswomen in that then I'm killing you! you are the problem!
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(inspired by the midnight cooking chapter in the twst anthology manga and also jamil's dorm uniform and master chef voice lines)
(this is also a lil extended sequel to this post i made :3)
#jamil in his silly era#he's *still* in denial your honor#[ââŚ-#-⧠my art#-⧠comic#twisted wonderland#twst#twst art#jamil viper#kalim al asim#twst oc x canon#jamil x yuu#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(đ) yuusha#(đ) curry noodles#-âŚâ]#jamiyuu is such a cute ship name#(<- edit: changed ship name from jamiyuu)#gonna hide here in the tags bc iâm lowkey embarrassed#im sobbing because i did not expect for that initial post to blow up as it did#it gave me joy that people liked it đ#it was only funny to me when i first thought of the idea#so it made me happy to share that silliness#iâll continue to be in my self-indulgent corner thank you all#for enabling me
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[This has been sitting in my draft for a while lol]
When it comes to Curly's failings, I always see people bring up his obvious failure to protect Anya and him prioritising Jimmy, who was the rapist in that situation. Which is completely valid btw and we should rake him through the coals for that alone even more. But I also see too many people saying that Curly "didn't enable Jimmy" or playing softball for his actions. And I could maybe see where that comes from if that incident was the only thing we had to point to-- but that wasn't all he did, is it? Curly being indifferent or not taking Jimmy's mistreatment and belittlement of Anya seriously was hinted at so much earlier than that.
Namely, the very first time we play from Curly's point of view. Let's just skip the fact that Curly was putting everyone in danger by not taking his psych evals seriously and simply giving the same answers to pass them even tho he was shown literal minutes after this scene being clearly not-sane, and go straight to the point I actually wanna get into. Which is this:
These scenes in isolation wouldn't be that bad. From his pov, it's played off as comical and it is. Jimmy being a brony (not really lmao) and getting playfully dragged over it is funny. But unfortunately this is the first example out of many for Curly's complacency. Anya is complaining about Jimmy not taking his psych evals or her seriously, which is easy to believe considering how much he rags on her for "not being a good nurse" (she kept Curly alive on hopes and dreams how dare you). So he keeps making her do silly and inappropriate reports she clearly doesn't wanna do, which is kinda shitty (also borders on harassment). But rather than actually saying something about Jimmy's behaviour or even acknowledging how it sucks he says this:
Mate, that's not a good thing đ He's clearly aware that the problem is Jimmy's lack of respect for Anya specifically. He knows that if he, his friend and a man in power, were the one doing the evals Jimmy wouldn't try that disrespect. But it's Anya, a meek woman who ranks lower than him so he thinks he can get away with it (which he DOES), and Curly's shown as comfortable in knowing that. He doesn't chew Jimmy out for making Anya uncomfortable nor does he reassure her that he will do something about it. All he does is take it off her hands this once and helps Jimmy power through it to get a good diagnosis (even tho we know he's DEFINITELY not sane either). He doesn't even mention Anya's discomfort or confront him on his inappropriate behaviour, just teases Jimmy in good fun instead because he doesn't think of it as anything serious. It's subtle and pretty minor in comparison to everything else, but I think it's worth pointing out. Especially because this convo takes place after Jimmy had assaulted her, which makes this so much worse.
If you need any more evidence of Curly being an enabler you need not look further than Anya herself. And I'm not just talking about the way he failed her here-- I'm talking about Anya's own view of Curly and the way said view influences her actions.
Just look at her choice of wording. "What would you have done". This is in response to him saying that she could've come to him if she were feeling stressed, which she-- in his eyes-- didn't. The question itself implies that she had no faith in Curly to actually help despite his insistence that he would've, which I think is significant because it shows that she's very much aware of Curly's shortcomings when it comes to her situation AND it's one of the first (or the first time) she actually verbalised her lack of trust towards him or anyone directly. Prior to this scene she had told him about her rape and the rapist, presumably because she trusted him to handle it. And he dismissed her because the rapist was his best friend, and that evidently deeply scarred her. Enough so that she secretly took the gun and hid it someplace else and didn't even tell Curly were that was, because she knows that if Curly has access to it there's a so much greater chance Jimmy will have too, insinuated by the line "the least I can do is make sure he never gets it either". Speaking about the gun:
It sucks so bad that this perception of him isn't even inaccurate nor unjustified. That despite everything Jimmy had done to her and everything he could still do to her, he'd very likely still not allow her access to the gun for protection. Because that's exactly what he didn't do anyway. He didn't attempt to keep her safe from Jimmy, instead he just pretended that nothing was wrong and still let Jimmy's belittlement of her pass. He didn't give her the gun after the incident, because she wouldn't have hid the case if he had. Despite his desperate reassurance that he'd do anything, he did nothing but make it worse for her and she KNOWS that. It's so frustrating knowing he entrusted the axe to Swansea when he needed it but not the gun to Anya when she needed it too. Also this:
The fact that his knee-jerk reaction to her admitting that she's pregnant was "Who would you--" is so fucked, especially considering she's already told him what happened. "Who would you" what? Who would you fuck? Who would you have sex with? That choice of wording drives me up a wall-- SHE wouldn't and didn't do anything or anyone. That was JIMMY. The potential sentence implies that she had any choice or agency in her pregnancy. She didn't. And the fact that Curly had to ask "who" insinuates that he's been putting Jimmy's action out of sight and out of mind the whole time, choosing to not think about them or what happened to Anya at all. And considering he still made her do Jimmy's evaluations despite being able to do them himself and literally didn't even think of making sure she gets psych evals done too--especially AFTER getting sexually assaulted--that might actually be the case (I haven't seen anyone make a stink about that piece of info so I'm going to because what kinda colossal fuck up IS that??).
I vaguely had a post like this in mind but seeing so many people be like "well Anya did some wrong stuff too like leaving Curly alone with Jimmy but you don't get mad at HER for that so why is Curly not doing anything about Jimmy being alone with Anya so different??" actually makes me want to blow some people up. Jimmy's an abuser, sure, but Anya has no real reason to believe that he'd actually harm Curly. From her perspective, they were close, close enough that Curly would not only let Jimmy continuously disrespect her but also get away with assaulting her too. That, and she knows that Jimmy was closer to Curly than anyone and more likely to be civil around him than he ever was to her. She has barely any reasons to suspect Jimmy would harm Curly when they're alone. Curly, on the other hand, has every fucking reason on the planet to think Jimmy would harm her when they're alone. He knows he raped her (likely in her room at night too). He knows that he sexually harasses her. He knows that he doesn't respect her at all. And that was BEFORE the crash. Anya tried insisting on giving Curly his medicine, only for Jimmy to keep aggressively insisting that he'll take care of it despite her protests. Curly didn't try to keep them separate at all even though he was the Captain and had the power to do so. And this should go without saying, but leaving your rapist alone with his best friend that he was close to and enabled/protected him and leaving your friend alone with the woman he raped (and might have repeatedly assaulted given his free access to her) is NOT THE SAME and I'm going to start chucking some people down a waterfall because what the fuck is that argument đ Actually leave it to the fandom of the game where the rape of a woman is the catalyst for the events that unfold to use her trauma to defend the guy that enabled it in the first place. Bloody hell.
The reason why this whole Curly discourse pisses me off is because it-- from what I can see-- ONLY brings up his failures 1-0 days before the crash and the Dead Pixel scene (or all the discussion around other points are drowned out by those two). Those scenes, while important to talk about, are not the only things he's done, and focussing on those as the only things is a mistake that comes short of understanding the issue. When it comes to Curly the main defences I see for him are "he was trying not to escalate the situation" and "he was trying to keep things under control the best he can" and "he was waiting for the right time to help Anya", but those don't work when you look at the bigger picture of everything he's done.
He half-assed through his psych eval despite clearly not being sane (and KNOWING he's barely sane, he literally admits it to Jimmy's face). He still continued to task her with Jimmy's psych evals. He brushed over Jimmy's sexual harassment of her as a joke. He didn't think about making sure she got psych evals done herself after being raped. He gave Swansea the axe but didn't give Anya the gun despite it being for "unrest amongst the crew" (whatever the hell THAT means). He let her assault slip his mind that she had to remind him. He's literally a blond man. He took no action to hold Jimmy responsible for anything, and prioritised how his violation of Anya would affect him rather than her. He ignored her demands for him to get rid of Jimmy. He still allowed Jimmy free reign of the ship as co-pilot even after he was openly fantasising about killing everyone and had a major motive and the means to do just that. He was potentially thinking of making her miscarry to cover up what happened. He was so accustomed to her sucking up being disrespected and disturbed that he didn't even notice a difference in her behaviour until she hid the fucking gun. There's so much other shit he's done and hasn't done, and not talking about them or glossing over them makes it so easy for people to argue that he isn't actually an enabler or just minimise the severity of his neglect.
And while I'm already dragging Curly through the mud, I might as well just drag Swansea too. I've seen too many people being like "Anya should've told Swansea instead" and "Swansea was the one that actually took responsibility". Like, y'all realise he's not that much better than Curly, right? He already knew about what happened to Anya-- he admits it to Jimmy's face-- but he didn't do shit. He knew, but he still got completely shitfaced for months despite her earlier protestation to that (for very understandable reasons). He knew, but he still let Jimmy have the axe AND be alone with Anya while having it. He knew, but when Anya locked herself in the Medical and Daisuke and Jimmy asked for his help he didn't budge nor really showed any care. He knew, but the reason he finally decided to do something about Jimmy wasn't Anya, it was Daisuke. Her suffering and her eventual death weren't enough for him to take action either.
This game, on top of everything else, is a great depiction of rape culture. It doesn't just include the rapists, but the people (mostly men) that stay silent, do nothing, make excuses for and protect the perpetrator for whatever reason, and Swansea and Curly (Curly way more so than Swansea) are both active contributors to the environment that allowed for evil to flourish and continue unhindered until it destroyed them all. And while that arguably doesn't make them evil themselves or as bad as Jimmy, they are so much more a part of the bigger problem than the fandom likes to admit.
[Ok since this is kinda gaining a bit of traction please consider helping these guys out here, here and here. Thanks!]
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#do not come for me curly fans i'm one of y'all i promise. kinda#if i had a nickle for every time i made a post dragging a blond man i'd have three#which isn't a lot now but that number will likely increase in the future lmao#seriously tho i'm so sick of seeing people be all âthere's no evidence that he's an enablerâ and âhe did all he couldâ like screw you guys#the point of the whole story is that his inaction is what allowed for everything to happen#that his willingness to do nothing put him in a state where he can only watch the horrors without being able to do anything if he wanted to#it's about TWO captains who kept going on about taking responsibility and did anything BUT that#he's not as horrible as jimmy obviously but he doesn't need to be to do damage and be awful#you know what i very well may just be a lot meaner and uncharitable to him than i should be here#but i guess tumblr can be the judge of that. i still rest my case. now time to continue avoiding curly discourse like usual XD#normally i wouldn't care enough to make a post about the way the fandom treats him because it's nothing unique or anything#but something about this game and him being blond specifically made me unable to resist. i just can't be nice to him for that alone#pardon the typos i whipped this up in a hurry and am too lazy to go over everything right now#momento rambles
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One of my mutuals opinions is the "bro code" thing, that Curly is one of those guys who wouldn't care about the victim because the perpetrator is his friend and I'm really banging my head on the wall like that other anon. I've only played through the game once but Curly's behaviour/reactions etc read completely different from the "bro code" thing and I have to wonder if my mutual and I even played the same game.. like the constant digs at him from Jimmy, his body language in his face reveal and so on like you mentioned in your post. While this game is a little different obviously, it kind of reminded of a point in Alice Madness Returns that makes it very clear that Alice's pain blinded her to the abuse of the other children and her failure to act earlier because of it. Curly is guilty of a similar inaction but it doesn't change the fact he was a victim of Jimmy too. I don't think I can look at it any other way because both of these games have really stuck with me.
I genuinely think it really is the idea that people want a simple easy to blame problem and the idea that the only relatable victims of abuse are those that "surpass" it or do a lot to help others. When it comes to victims, especially those that don't fit the typical demographics, who either accidently perpetuate it, enable it or aren't ideal in some way shape or form, people jump to ignore what they went through as it's easier than dealing with those conflicting sentiments.
The bro-code conversation in Mouthwashing stems from a concept I generally dislike that there had to be something about Curly that made him meet or keep being friends with someone like Jimmy. I think people genuinely underestimate how many like decent and good people just know an asshole or are friends with someone who is really bad outside of their view/established dynamics. The game makes it clear none of the inaction against Jimmy is because of a lack of care, it is a lack of understanding from the privaleged postions they have as men to not have to worry about what Anya does/went through and the type of extremes men like Jimmy will go through to cover it up. They are all too preoccupied in their own strifes.
Another thing I see being oversaturated the idea that you have to be a freak, misanthrope or have a disorder to do the thing Jimmy does. The game is an escalation, it's a spiral that I don't see people comment on that Jimmy was not likely having the mood swings and episodes of rage/frustration we were seeing in the game. This is after they all start experiencing the worst moments in their lives that he got THAT openly bad. Of course, this is just my interpretation but much like in real life, people that go to extremes like that usually live mundane lives. It's a pressure cooker affect to where the stress made them pop. It's self inflicted but still the case.
I really think people need to be more willing to acknowledge that not everything needs to be an extreme or in black and white or easy to understand. It doesn't need to be happy or have an answer or solution, especially in the cases where the abused sadly helps perpetuate what they experience. It's not he should've known better from experience or shouldn't he have known what could've happened because victims tend to not like to think in matters of the worst. Not to mention, especially in cases of abuse where it feels so personally directed that you don't expect to happen to someone else.
#i also hear the bro code thing in tandem with his comments on saying he knows Jimmy but that is also in a much different context than#if he said it when Anya was actively telling him about the dead pixel or the pregnancy or even when she told jimmy that was about himself#and getting between Anya and Jimmy as in he knows Jimmy and knows he wont try anything when hes around not that he doesnt think hes#doing anything or doesn't believe Anya and Im a bit annoyed people shorthand or try to recontextualize the statements he makes about it#cause even the let me talk to him line is more in concern of what Jimmy could be doing and less wanting to make sure hes okay and#being more worried about his friend than Anya in that moment like removing the context makes the sentiments sound more uncaring#and typically but the context is how they are deconstructed to give the story and themes a deeper nuance because Anya is happy that Curly#says that becuase he leads it under the idea of protecting her as he knows and she has likely seen/experienced it enough that Jimmy#back down/off around Curly typically as we see he does relatively subdue Jimmy's attitude before the eval and it only gets bad once the#scene at the birthday party happens when Jimmy is likely in a mode where hes not going to listen to Curly about anything after cause he fee#personally betrayed in a selfish egotistical way like the game is a deconstruction nothing is supposed to a typical one to one on the#concepts it handles. this also ties to me like getting more and more annoyed everytime is see a post making Curly the most milktoast#no opinions ever sort of guy when he does have a personality outside of enabling Jimmy and has opinions on things like the QnA's#talking about him being snow Tony Hawk flesh him out more realistically than think pieces saying he has no opinions on anything#and would never take stances like this is a immediate dire circumstance with multiple facets I dont think hed hesitate to help if he active#saw like someone getting attacked on the street or that hes a centrist that doesnt care about womans issues like this is the equivalent#of when a character gets dumbed down to their like favorite food and one defining aspect of themselves and even then I feel like everyone#else but the mouthwashing fandom has a better grasp of that aspect before they make it unrecognizable.#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#ask#anon
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"A post for International Kindness Day!"
"An ad that David's in that I'm resharing just to call him insufferable!"
One of these things is not like the other...
#i can't even with this nonsense#it's the proximity of these two things that is ending me right now#as if irony isn't dead long enough already#< prev see what i did there#obscure Michael film reference for the win#the only thing that's insufferable is someone who normalizes insulting their partner#and the people who enable it#yikes#why do people do this#discourse
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when your besties keep suggesting killing people who wronged you
#ishindenshin#kyo#genta#nobu#my ocs#and they are both right btw#whoever fucks with kyo should be killed HHDJKDSHKJ#my art#sketch dumb#this is just me showcasing the typical scenario in which it looks like genta isnt even a part of the conversation#but he is very much listening#and will only speak up when he thinks it's 100% needed#usually with one liners that leave people speechless#and as a treat - nobu while being very understanding and capable of giving good advice#still is a hater at heart and wants say shit like 'u know what they should just explode' LMAO#genta enables the evil in nobu#hence why they are the meanest bitches of the most sweet idol group LOL
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harried community college professor davey and night class single father student jack. is that something.
#jack waiting until graduation day to make a move bc he thinks (correctly) that davey will reject him if he's a student#jack is like. three years older than davey. this is davey's first job after graduating undergrad he's working on his doctorate#he teaches some form of english and jack is like hey sorry I'm so bad at this it just Really isn't my subject#he goes to office hours once a week (when his schedule permits it) and davey is like yeah you are struggling ngl. but we'll get through thi#anyway. it is something but will it ever be more than this post?#only if people enable me :)#newsies#jack kelly#davey jacobs#javid
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ok this is the first i'm finding out that durge has a little corpse-looking goblinoid weirdo butler who shows up and brings gifts as rewards for murder. i love him.
#bg3#the dark urge#i feel like i don't long rest enough#because i think i was meant to get these scenes earlier#so now the implication that durge might be remotely emotionally affected or confused by killing the bard#seems a little strange given that she's already killed all the tieflings#she didn't even hide the body and then lae'zel was like âdid you do thisâ and durge is like âwell yeahâ#and lae'zel is like âwhyâ and durge is like âidkâ#and lae'zel is like âok well just be neater next time okay? that was sloppy work.â#đ#also i got approval with astarion#shadowheart apparently just didn't care she didn't even show up to the questioning#and then the narrator in durge's head is like âthe only thing better than murder is getting away with itâ#like buddy i didn't really âget away with itâ i just handpicked my friendships so i'm only ever around people who enable me#lol#the little butler guy was great too#i told him that it's about time someone appreciated my depravity#and he is instantly like âmaster i missed you so muchâ#me too stranger me too#i think he should have beef with shovel#that would be so funny#âyou replaced me???â#âwith that thing???â
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Atsushi for the ask game.
ATSUSHI HERE WE GO THANK YOU FOR HEARING MY PRAYERS
Favorite thing about them: HIS SELFISHNESS. It's so so delicious to explore. Can you imagine a protagonist that saves others not out of simple good will, but because of egoistic self-preservation motives? It just feels counterintuitive for me lmao, and I found it quite messed up when I first watched the anime, but now it's so compelling to explore. His whole âeverything I do is in order to gain the right to liveâ is crazy fashinating. Because lol, that's entirely nonsensical to me! There's no such thing as âgaining the right to liveâ; all humans, every person in the world is inherently deserving of life. All. No exception. So there's no level of âweakâ or âworthlessâ that would make you lose that right. The fact that's it's a vision so distant and absurd from mine, idk, it just makes it very compelling to explore? âWhat if there was a little fucked up guy who believed the right to live had to be earnedâ just sounds like a very interesting premise.
Least favorite thing about them: When I first watched the anime, I think I found him low-key annoying? I just... Don't do very well with self-deprecating people and people who complain a lot in general, I usually suffer in silence and tend to (wrongly) assume others should do the same (this probably makes me sound pretty mean, I swear I try to be understanding irl). However, it doesn't bother me as much anymore, I simply think it's more of a distinctive trait of the character that makes him multilayered and unique. As of now, I can't think of anything I don't like about him if not the fact that I wish he'd rely on Dazai and others in general a little less. I know that has to do with his lack of self-worth, so maybe it makes sense,, but as of now he feels kind of stuck. I just wish we'd see him grow more on that front.
Favorite line:

There may be better ones, but I really like the delivery of this one.
brOTP: KYOUKA AND ATSUSHI they make me go insane. Already talked about this in the Kyouka post but just to reiterate: in my headcanon Kyouka really is the only person Atsushi feels genuine, selfless affection towards. It's very sweet. They're siblings. Kyouka's happiness is really important for Atsushi. They really do have that feeling of people who got out of an abusive environment learning what normality is supposed to be like together. I also really like how they compensate for what the other lacks, be it decisiveness and coolhead for Atsushi and empathy and positivity for Kyouka. Although plenty shipping them romantically, I really like platonic sskk and atsulucy as well.
OTP: I really like sskk eheh. I think they're neat. There's a thousand and one reasons why I find them pretty great. They're objectively the only reason why I got invested in bsd as well as the only thing that has me keep up with the franchise to this day. Right now, I feel like the one thing I really appreciate about them is how you can be the worst person in the universe and still somehow be loveable to someone. I think it's sweet. I also find it very fun and enterataining to explore their various soulmatism antics. They're both very complex and multilayered characters with something deeply wrong with how their minds work that makes them very fun to analyze both by their own and in the complexity of their relationship. Their collective story arc and canon relationship progression is extremely engaging and nice to follow, too. I love dazatsu and atsulucy as well!! Both were ships I wasn't particularly invested when I read the manga for the first time, but really grew in me in the last six months or so. I really dig akuatsulucy as well!!
nOTP: Nothing?
Random headcanon: He really likes reading. There's some real meta-analysis to be made here I actually had written this is probably not the right place to talk about, but in a work that's all about literature, he's the character who reads.
Unpopular opinion: He's the hardest character to write / characterize. That's why people should probably go easier on other fans when they mischaracterize him. He's just very multifaceted and genuinely hard to get. I keep seeing people being like âStop babyfying Atsushi he's an independent adult!!â then turn around to say âhe can't be shipped with Dazai because there's too much unbalance of power :// [somewhat implying Atsushi can't make free decisions for himself]â, or âStop making of Atsushi a soft baby who never did wrong in his life!!!â then turn around to say âAtsushi is the happy puppy of the agency who gets treats and pats from everyone ^^ â like. At least to me, a lot of people's arguments sound self-contradictory all the time; but that doesn't mean people should stop having fun and characterize the characters as they like! Just, let's stop being mean to each other and try to be a little more accepting towards others' takes, shall we? And yes that also includes letting people find Atsushi annoying if they find him annoying (although like, I've NEVER found anyone call Atsushi annoying ever, so really, what remote fandom spaces is everyone visiting? Why are you looking for clothes (good takes) at the soup store (Tik/tok I assume?) ).
Song i associate with them: Common World Domination by Pinocchio-P, HIBANA by DECO*27, Ghost Rule by DECO*27, so on and so forth.
Favorite picture of them:
Favourite panel from the manga:

Favourite illustration: Look, there's too many beautiful illustrations, I can't chose. Here's a very good one though.
Favourite illustration in the anime art style:
But also:
Favourite Mayoi card:
Send me a character?
#Btw I think the author does truly believe that people have to earn their own right to live and that#âpeople can't live unless someone tells them âit's okay to go onâ â#Which is all sorts of fucked up for me and just goes to the encyclopedia titled Reasons Why I Strongly Disagree With Bsd Morals#But taking the character Atsushi on its own out of the context of which worldvies bsd does or doesn't enable.#I think it's very compelling to explore a character who thinks like that!!#Of courseâ feel free to disagree with my interpretation of the text#atsushi nakajima#bsd#mine#people asks me stuff#I feel like with this more than others I have more to say that just didn't come to me...#I have so many headcanons and opinions about Atsushi how can I only pick one!!!
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Day 223 | id in alt
Maki thinking some very unsorcererly things over a piece of damn cheesecake.
(Read from right to leftđĽ)
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#zenin maki#inumaki toge#its always the cheesecake tbh#cheese cake isn't bad i think it depends on the type for me tbh sometimes it takes too....cakey....???#fuck i dont even know#ive had some very good cheesecake in my life and man im trying to rob a relative of her recipe#anyway. Maki had a strict diet because of the clan but because Kugisaki showed up and found out her love of junkfood....#it all came crashing down VERY quickly#Kugisaki indulges Maki and vice versa. its kinda funny how they're both violent enablers of eachother#Not pointing fingers but if you're gonna be vauge in the comments then get out or post up in the asks#tell me what ails you#for the other people#these two are fucking deranged idk what their issue is but im sure ill figure it out sometime#im getting there nobamaki enjoyers im getting there TRUST TRUST#time to get hysterically distracted while i write the description of the images#suddenly everything turns into cocomelon#i fucked up the placement but yknow my ass#Kugisaki and Maki are just too silly they're trying to exist but they're so fucked up#my silliest silly#Maki has only the faintest idea of fucked up connections and nobody talks about how shes absolutely abysmal at it#my brain is envisioning Kugisaki with a brick and that's it rn#Beyonce songs are playing#am i hallucinating#the fucked up spoon....lordt#thought about those wack bitches with those wide ass necks and cried#i hope you all imagine everytime i type shit in the tags that its of those stressed ass evangelion screams
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good ol fashioned razzmatazz
SO I wrote more... :) ive wanted to do a series of scenes from Gideon's life for a while now- moments in time we didn't see in the show. mostly past, maybe some present or future, depending. wanted to explore his life a little more, and the headcanons ive got surrounding it. drabbles is the best way to solve this because i cant write one long cohesive plot very well haha
ive got a handful of ideas in mind but this is the first one that i finished to any degree. just a little scene from his childhood. gideon makes his first sale, and learns something about himself.
âWhat are you up to, sweetie?â
âShh- itâs a secret.â
Gideon hushed his mother as he ran over to the back door and shoved his face up against it, peering out through the frosted glass window into the car lot. His mother, Florence, turned her attention away from the oven for a moment to squint at him. He was wearing his favorite dress shirt, the dark blue one covered in golden stars- shorts and sandals for the weather, and his long hair was pulled back into a white braid. The sun caught on his hair through the window, and she could have sworn she saw it sparkle. What a strange little boy they had, she thought.
---
She remembers how tiny he was when she first held him, and how odd his shock of white hair had been. Odder still when she first saw the icy blue eyes he had- not like hers or Budâs, not at all. Neither of them had even heard of what the doctors diagnosed him with before then. Some sort of âcongenital conditionâ, for whatever that meant. All that fancy medical talk was a bit out of her area of expertise. All that mattered to her was that their little boy was alive- and now, at least on his way to better health.
Their little Gideon had been much more adventurous these days. Ever since the doctors had given him the OK during his last hospital visit, heâd seemingly been itching to get outside. He hummed loudly, like he was deep in thought.
Florence smiled. She reached over to the fridge.
âWell, if you arenât too busy with your secrets, could you do me a favor?â
âHm?â He whipped his head over to look at his mother, who was holding a little tupperware container.
âHow about you go across the lot and take this to your dad for me?â
The wheels turned for a moment, and Gideon perked up instantly.
âYâmean it? On my own?â
âOf course, hon. As long as youâre careful-â
He nodded, a smile creasing his face. Oh- she couldnât help it, every time he smiled, she smiled too. Surely every mother thinks their child is the cutest kid on the planet, but well⌠she KNEW hers was. And she knew that theyâd been very protective of him these past few months, what with the hospital scare and all. As much as she fretted about his health- she made a mental note to deep clean his room again this weekend- she couldnât squash that spirit behind his eyes. It couldnât hurt to let him out on his own for a little bit.
He took the container from her hands and tucked it under one of his arms, nodding solemnly.
âAhâll handle it, maâam!â He stood up straight and gave a little salute, his face faux-stern, and she couldnât help but laugh. Heâd been watching too much TV lately, bless him.
She waved him off as he skittered out of the door, turning her attention back to the oven.
---
Gideon shielded his eyes from the afternoon sun. The worst of his sensitivity to it may have gone away with the treatments, but it still got awful bright out in summer. But heâd power through it. After all, he had a mission.
He took off at a run down the winding garden path, rushing through the gate onto the concrete car lot. The weather was hot, but there was that fresh summer breeze blowing in his face that made him glad to be out of his room. He liked it in there plenty- he had books and instruments and more toys than he knew what to do with- but being cooped up in bed for so long had him yearning for the outdoors. He squinted, spying the towering figure of his father through the light glinting off the windows of his work building.
Giggling, he sprinted across the lot as fast as his legs could carry him into the shop.
âDad!â He burst through the door, startling his father. Bud Gleeful whipped around from where he was sat across a little plastic table with a skinny spectacled gentleman, poring over a contract. He wore a battered looking old suit but held himself with an oddly aristocratic air. He seemed out of place on a used car lot.
âWoah there, sunshine-â Bud started, his sentence cut off with an oof- as Gideon jumped onto his lap. âHeavens, boy! Whatâs gotten into you?â
Gideon looked up at him- and then across the table to his latest customer. He had put the contract down and was looking down at the two of them, a smile creasing his cheeks. Bud raised a hand, a little embarrassed. âOh my, Iâm mighty sorry for the interruption, sir-â
âOh, no. Itâs quite alright.â He laughed- he had that fancy city-folk accent, Gideon noticed. He tilted his head to the side to get a better look at him. âNow who is this fine little fellow?â
âOh, well this is-â
âGideon!â He piped up, folding his hands across his lap with a smile. âGideon Charles Gleeful!â
âHaha- yep. Thatâs my lilâ Gideon.â Bud finished for him, resting one big hand on his son's shoulder. âThis is my son. Little fella ainât been too well recently, but heâs lookinâ fit as a fiddle now. Acting it, too! Well now, whyâd you rush over here in such a hurry, boy? Does your mother know youâre-â
âOh, yeah! I brought yaâ this from mom.â He held out the container to Bud, who picked it up- turned it over, then hummed in understanding.
âHah, oh yeah. I sâpose I did almost forget about lunch, all caught up in negotiatinâ.â He mused. âThank you kindly, sweetheart.â He leant down to kiss his forehead, which Gideon responded to by playfully swatting him away.
The moment was interrupted then by the man across the table clearing his throat. Gideon and Bud both turned their attention back to him.
âMr. Gleeful, I have to be honest- I wasnât sure if this was the right car for me, a few minutes ago. Forgive me for my bluntness, but I was worried this place might not be⌠on the up-and-up, if you catch my drift.â Gideon felt his fathers hand slip off his shoulder, a subtle change in his demeanor.
âBut⌠well, seeing you here- you seem like a real family man, Mr. Gleeful. Trustworthy. Iâm sorry for doubting you.â He chuckled. âI suppose I thought this contract might be too good to be true for a moment there.â
âNah, dadâs the best at this stuff!â Gideon piped up- he felt Bud tense up for a second, about to hush him, but he carried on. âIâm gonna learn to sell cars just as good as his, someday! So you can tell yer kids to come buy from me!â
Bud held his breath a moment, but then the customer burst out laughing.
âOh- goodness, how sweet. You know what, Gideon? Iâll have to remember that.â
âThatâll be Mr. Gleeful to you!â
Bud picked him up then, lifting himself out of his chair and carrying his son high up to perch on his shoulder. âOkay, thatâs enough teasing, boy-â
âHaha! No, no, heâs got it right.â The skinny man stood too, pushing his glasses up his nose. âYou know what? Youâve got yourself a sale, Mr. Gleeful.â
He held his hand out- up, above Budâs, to Gideon. He grasped it firmly, grinning ear to ear and shook his hand. The gentleman nodded his head, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a crisp 20 dollar bill.
âForgive me for being forward- but may I give the young man a commission?â
Bud startled, glancing at it- then back to Gideon- then back to the money. âOh, my- thatâs awful kind of you sir, it certainly is! Of course you can.â
Gideonâs eyes lit up. He eagerly took the twenty, held it up to the light- then slipped it into his pocket. He squirmed- a sign for Bud to pick him up and let him down on the floor again- and stood up straight with his arms folded.
âThanks, sir!â He chirped, and Bud leant down to pat the top of his head.
âNow Gideon, do you think you could let the grown-ups handle the borinâ part of all this paperwork?â He crouched to smile at his son.
âSure thing.â
âAlright, sweetpea. Donât spend your money all in one place, yâhear?â
âOkay, dad!â
His mission complete, Gideon padded over to the door- leant over his shoulder to wave at the man his father was now pushing a pen into the hand of- and left the room.
Stopping on the sun-soaked car lot, he reached into his pocket and felt the dollar again. Thought about the look on that man's face when he gave him the money, for nothing but a few words and a smile. His dad had a pretty easy job, he figured. But he didnât really understand the whole sales thing- not yet, at least.
---
Gideon would spend the rest of the day playing in the garden- until he got too hot and tired, and retreated back to his shaded room for a nap. He wouldnât think too much about what happened that day.
But that night, his father would take them out to the diner and boast loudly about how his son- barely in his fifth year!- had made his first ever sale. Heâd let him order dessert- seconds, too. And heâd ask Gideon to stop by the lot more often, especially if he wants to learn to be a salesman someday. He was one talented boy, his parents told him. Showered him with that notion, really. He was destined to be a big shot one day with a personality as glowing as his.
'You have a face folks would never say no to!' His father told him. He didn't mean much when he said it- more of a joke than anything. But something about it settled with Gideon, still learning about the world. Nobody would say no to him, huh...?
He figured that sounded pretty nice.
#gravity falls#gideon gleeful#fanfiction#i was going to structure these drabbles as one of those 5+1 things but uh. i couldnt come up w a cohesive throughline#and also idk if ill write all the ones I have planned. so its better for me to just post em whenever I finish one haha#PLEASE ENJOY... this isnt much rly just. a little scene. gideon is a precocious kid people think hes cute#hes sheltered a bit and spoiled. but generally a Real Sweetheart at this age. hes only beginning to learn about the concept of deception#things will undoubtedly Get Worse since this is before he goes to school in my timeline haha#honestly most of this was me wanting to write a lil about gideons parents#i dont think either of them Intended anything bad in their raising of their son. they just wanted their little angel to be happy#but they do end up enabling some things they reeeeeally shouldnt as time goes on#anyway hes gonna spend that twenty on soooo much candy
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Obsessed with the dynamic (not romantic, not platonic, but a secret third thing--both and yet neither) between two characters who knew and cared about each deeply years ago when they were both younger and life was much less complicated.
But then, tragic, transformative circumstances separated them. Assuming that this separation was certainly permanent, because how could it not be?
And yet, somehow finding each other again years later, and sometimes they aren't sure whether the reunion that they once longed for with every fiber of their beings is a blessing, a curse, a joke, or a punishment.
Because they've both changed in the intervening years--largely because of the hellish circumstances that caused their separation. They've both changed completely and irrevocably, even if one of them has changed much more noticeably and dramatically than the other to the point of seeming a complete stranger. It is about leaning to see and appreciate all the things that have changed about the other and all the things that have not changed. It's about learning to reconcile beloved, often rose-tinted memories with the complex, yet-equally-compelling reality of the person those memories are about.
#it's the very particular sensation of loving someone who is both recognizably your beloved childhood partner-in-mischief#while also being someone so different (physically; mentally; and/or emotionally) that you can scarcely see their past self in them#and knowing the feeling is mutual#and also knowing that the only person who can truly understand the full extent of the change in you is each other#because their transformation is linked to your own#forged in and through the unique experiences that you shared and the way you were separated#it's the idealized adoration of youthful playmates/pseudo-siblings#transforming into a very different but no less powerful connection in adulthood#that's what really gets me#it's just#*chefs kiss*#estabalena#nahyupollo#jaydick#anyway this post is specifically about estabalena and jaydick#and to a lesser extent apollo/nahyuta#but it doesn't really matter if people tag and respond with other ships#even the narumitsus provided they recognize that not every post was made for them#it goes double for jaydick and estabalena tho since they each have two (2) shared formative and transformative experiences#that few (if any) others can possibly understand#for estabalena; it's the 41 years of suffering in the dark times and the crystal well magic flowing through ones veins#for jaydick; it's the experience of being "Robin' and feeling that the role and all it means was ripped from you too soon#and then it's the experience of dying and your family failing to welcome you back with open arms#because you didn't come back 'right' or quick enough#and that you 'chose' to stay away rather than circumstances forcing the issue#apollo/nahyuta also has the jaydick parallels in terms of bruce and dhurke#it's recognizing that your very human shared father figure failed you in many ways#even as he simultaneously saved you in others#he made you both the best version of yourself while also creating or enabling all of your worst tendencies#just
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the other day my dad was showing me how to do this thing for an account and because hes incapable of not being a huge bag of dicks all the time he was all like oh im doing this for you because you cant and ur useless and stuff (it was incredibly simple, i wouldve figured it out in like two minutes. i didnt even ask him to do it, he just told me "im doing this" and when i said i would just do it myself he said no) and i was mad at him for being a bitch but i cant say im mad or do anything or he gets mad, but you will not believe the satisfaction i felt today after being able to do an IT thing for my mum that he couldnt, at least i get this, fuck you and eat shit old man, whos useless now?
#alex says shit#i love my dad! /sarc#im annoyed tho bcs i wanna give him the silent treatment but he would get so fucking mad at me for even insinuating hes in the wrong#bcs hes an enabled man child who thinks he can just say whatever he wants bcs 'hes the only one who does anything'#so that justifies him treating everyone like crap#(if hes the only one who does anything how about he goes and gets a job)#but i cant just let him think that he can do whatever he wants because he fucking cant#not me trying to teach my father (whos in his late fifties) how to treat people with a minimum of respect#who tf else is gonna do it tho#not my mum whos too kind and too much of a pushover to do anything but excuse his actions#(love her tho)#certainly not my golden child sister#but he doesnt respect my opinion so he'll die a jaded miserable piece of shit with one daughter who feared him and one who hated him#i'll likely die just as jaded and alone but i'll never make it anyone elses problem like he does#damn i really always go off in the tags#dropping a whole lore my bad
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Still haven't messaged my mom back. And I don't think I'm going to.
#you know how they say time makes you look on the past with nostalgia and that's why elderly people think so fondly of past decades? not me#there are moments I look back on with nostalgia sure but the overwhelming feeling of looking back on my childhood is just whatever I do#wherever I go whatever happens that will not be my life again. my memory is long I made a promise to myself I intend to keep I don't forget#support you having your grandkids if their mother is deemed unfit yes. take the older two myself if it comes to it yes. move provinces to#live with you to look after the five of them together where you would be my only adult connection and there's a language barrier and I have#no work history and I'd be between five hours and nine hours away from any other connection I have answer's an absolute fucking no. I've#seen how you are with my sister how you were with my brother. who do you think they call when they've had enough of you? do you not#remember most of the beatings I took was because I was standing between you and my brother? of course not because according to you you#never did beat me but if you think I'm not aware that would turn on me again the second I'm no longer distant and just visiting if you#think you'd find nothing to complain about because you've built up this golden child ideal of me in your head and want to forget how it was#when I was actually in your care you are very very wrong. I remember. I know that inconveniences a lot of people who want to forget#unpleasant things about themselves. me too to be honest I have memories I wish I could erase but I can't especially with regard to my#sister. I defended my brother but not her. not enough. and it's probably why I give so much to her now more than I should because it's#enabling but it is what it is I guess. I won't use my memories against anyone just for the sake of it but I absolutely fucking will#to protect myself or others. you want a redemption arc without admitting to anything? keep being patient and kind towards#your grandchildren even if you end up having to take them and if you can't do it for all five of them then accept that it's better for the#older two to be with me. that's it. those are your options: the older two are with me so you only have to look after the younger three or#you need to buckle down and learn from your past mistakes to look after the five of them and all that is *if it even comes to that* which#as things are it's not in danger of that! it was a regular fucking visit to monitor the situation that's all; they're not getting taken#literally every time she freaks out about something it's a 50/50 chance it's actually something or she's invented a completely#twisted version of events
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So, in a fun fact, I'm the only one in my family who likes F1, and my father and brother try to keep up with me, but sadly they don't understand anything about it (even when I've been ranting about this for years and years).
Still, as a birthday present, my dad gave me this jersey (that I love and adore with my soul), but he told me he felt ashamed because when he was buying it, the salesperson kept asking him questions about F1 and he was completely clueless, and it was worse when he had to clarify that this was for a girl (Mexico is still a very sexist country after all) and that said girl was the F1 expert in the family.
Anyway, just wanted to show off my beautiful gift, and my brother gave me these sunglasses:





Fortunately for him, he ordered them online, so no shameful episode where the family secret of having a girl being the expert in F1 had to be shared.
I'm thinking of making my dogs model my sunglasses, but still debating.
#family secret out#I'm the only expert in F1#sergio perez#checo perez#merch so people tell me I'm enabling his seat at RBR đ¤
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i love being gen z in corporate (behated) because someone will say "when i had my first job, way back in '99" and I'd reply with "oh i was born in '99" and then everyone will go silent and have an existential crisis LMAO
#i actually love being the youngest person in the room getting all the attention and getting babied LMAO#so the thing about the company that everyone who's in a leadership position now is someone who started their careers with this company#so like there are people who have been here since like late 90's when the org was like 1k people to now growing the org to like 200k+#so like there were people on that table who have been with the org from even before i was born đ#so there was like a farewell party for someone who was with this company for the past 17 years#and naturally since its a party that too in london everyone was getting SLOSHED lmaoooo#and this seniormost person is always so concerned whenever someone gets me a drink LMAO like typical dad behaviour it was so funny#scolding my skip level boss for getting me more drinks sksksksksk#idk man there's so much cognitive dissonance because at one hand i know these people at these tables are sometimes corporate evils#well not evils but yeah their decisions are sometimes so out of pocket#but then when you interact with them in person they seem so nice and warm and make you feel like they genuinely care for you????#and i know in thr capitalist world im v much replaceable and no one cares#but like even that feeling makes me feel like we're getting more individualistic#because i know and i could see everyone in that farewell party being so senti and emotional its not even a joke#but you know credit where it's due even though i have to work like hell my manager has given me virtually all the support that he can#and after meeting the people in his reporting hierarchy i could see he could only support me because he was enabled to do that#because in a lot of places managers want to help but can't because of the organisation????? so yeah#idk why im getting so emotional about my job i feel like im a simp for my job/company HAHAHAHA#vi.txt#london is getting to me sksksks#i kinda wanna ask if there's anyone around who would like to meet up maybe???????idk
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