#only a couple of them im actually friends with too
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dgaftilwedie · 2 days ago
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now this.......... this is what i mean when i want more fun question thingies...... holy fuck im gonna have a field day with this
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kinda shitty but life goes on
nawwwww im not ready for a face reveal on here yet lol
absolutely every single day of my life
hm... good question... lemme ask my mom and i'll get back to you
18 woohooo adulthood
i don't usually get asked questions abt my age let alone get mistaken for any ages
im an aquarius and i think??? i suit it?? idk that's what my parents say at least
had a little at home thingy, went to one of my fav places with my bff it was pretty fun
i don't know
black rn
yeah my natural hair color is brown but i like to change it a lot
brown
i'd change the color only if i could make them pink
yeah im blind
well i certainly have one. and it does the jobs it needs to. that is for sure.
we're not gonna get into that this early in the morning
or that this is boring
i have one but im looking to get more asap
i have 6 but again im always looking to get more
right
bi
no but if i could i would
yeah
i have a kitty cat and a doggy dog
i don't have like a set job, i just do occasional freelancey shit
i have a fic in the works as per usual
tell me this question list is from the pro-ana days of tumblr without telling me it was from the pro-ana days of tumblr lol
massive two shits, you ess ay
im very empathetic and a good listener (or at least i try to be, that's just what i've been told)
im a good writer
a lot of things
well it's not really something you're born with but i wish drawing came easier to me, im not really good at it
i feel like one a lot of the time but i don't really know
i try to be, but i get really bitchy when people aren't nice back. i try to keep that to myself tho
i do not know my personality well enough
yeah, im really good at being friends with shitty people apparently!!!
my ideal bed is one with a frame because im tired of my mattress pulling away from the wall and then slamming my head into the wall when i try to lay down <3
no but im feeling quite cranky right now
yeah im like 5 years old lol
mark hoffman
BORING next
i don't even know anymore
i have none
again i have like zero aspirations in the career world, i never want to get a job. crossing my fingers i win the lottery or something
not at fucking all
all the time. i dwell on every interaction i have and i play them back almost obsessively.
yeah, i still kinda do
too lazy
yeah
no but i absolutely need one
i have seasonal allergies n then a couple medicines
i fractured my wrist once
yeah i almost slipped down a waterfall. that would've sucked
nerp
i actually can't think of anythint
i used to be a cheerleader, i went to circus camp (for one day), and uhm........ i got nothing
this is literally the last question restated
literally everythint im a fuckint freak
boring
yeah
like, three
what the fuck
yolo
no
sleep
pink
favorite band is ghost, favorite singer is 12ve my goat 🙏🙏🙏
SAW
the incorrigible children of ashton place, ghost girl, uhmmm OH a series of unfortunate events
yolo bc...... yolo
scoop
most words with the "oy" sound
sushi 🤤🤤🤤
chocolate chip cookie dough
kitty cats meow meow meow
does my answer to the last question answer this one too
super soft, kinda fluffy, silky blankets
orchids
scent as in perfume?? i have this one purple juicy perfume i really like. my favorite not-perfume scent is cigarettes. n then on the opposite sex....... idk man i like when guys smell kinda musky
fall
i don't know
why do i have to list 4 things UGHHHHHH
i don't know mythological creatures well enough to cast myself as any
smiling friends
walmart
naw
why do i have to list so many thints this is so boring
my dad
i have two brothers
no
it's......... interesting
NOOOOO
no
no
i wish
in a different house
idk, i'd want all the rooms to have like a different vibe but i wouldn't want anything to be too white or minimalist or modern.
nyc or something
not home
no
yeah
i don't have a preference
my best friend
yes
all of them are pretty loyal
yes
kill myself 💀💀
i don't know?????
yes
no i don't wanna
i don't remember
my first real bf
yeah
no but i am so open to it dilfs hmu
guh i kinda have a preference towards men
?? idk how to answer this question
never experienced but im sure some people have so who am i to say
hm....,... kinda
i don't really have one
tbh if ur like. adam stanheight or jesse pinkman. then. yeah. that works :3
i don't actually know
kinda?? i wouldn't say someone im not attracted to, that'd be shitty. but looks aren't everything. basically if you're cute and have a good personality, YIPPEE!!!!
i don't even know what this means
i've made it very very clear that im more than open to dating a guy who's like double my age. i do not care LMAO
maybe??
naur
i don't know 😭
n/a
n/a
"oh ok my bad"
yesterday
no
no
yes
yes
no
yes
no
yes oh my god these questions are so gay
i think so
yes
yes
1) stoo asking boring yes or no questions OK WOOOOOO
stupid dumb idiot stoners who are the epitome of the kinda trashy loser guys in 2000s movies. fuck they're my favorite
uhmmmmm not much
i don't know
boring
boring
boring
boring
yes with mark hoffman
yes with mark hoffman
that he is mark hoffman
yes obviously what
probably jill tuck and also amanda young
easily
EASILY
i think so maybe
no
not having any
yes
i don't know
if ur actively trying to emotionally or physically get with someone - whether it's over text or through like a post or a dating app - that's cheating. idc if ur attracted to other people, idc if u watch porn, idc abt most things, but if we're dating and you're seeking out someone else, you suck
no
not really but im a grudge holder so
no. god no. ew.
i don't wanna get into that rn
or that
i dislike too many people
tbh yeah
technically 3
a year and four months
???
naw
almost constantly
i like a whoke lot of different stuff
kinda but im really bad at it
never been to one
maybe idk
no
none that i can think of
oh my god u and ur damn lists
none
ifinhad a library it would be wasted bc i'd never read anything
saw vi
weird ass wording but horror movies
joestar birthmark, east
public indecency
i don't know
i'd keep it anyways???? da fuq
i'd just picj me and my best friend up and renove us from our old friend group
radium bc j said so
2020
a gun and "this is gaytarded"
death rollercoaster i'll test it and everything
fuck
none........... it won't happen........
amanda young
sleeping
kinda idk
i don't <3
no
no
no
nooooooo oh ny gourd
half empty and im about to spill the reston the floor bc my hands are too cokd to hold anything
i don't even know anymore brother
if i tell you none of my wishes will cone true
NO
yeah
atheistic satanism
depends on the amount
i have neither so does it really matter
very
kick every bad person out of america and shape the country into a safe haven
i think it's circumstancial tbh
rewatch saw v
adam stanheight bc we're both losers with not much going for us. we love animals and have rocky relationships with our family and similar music taste and a creative outlet that's the only thing we really have. plus cigarettes also make me bust a nut in front of hot dilfs LMFAO
i missed a question at some point and i can't fund it so uhmmmmm last answer was suppoised to be this one
procrastinator
no
nooooooooo
nothing
my music
no
no
no
no
no
no
no lul
no
no
yes stop asking
molly
no
no
everything
yes
no
probably
yes
i don't think so
no
badly
depends
i don't know anymore
yes
not well
better
everything
what the fuck is an intem
going back to bed
no eat my balls
yes
costas mandylor
no
Aaaaaaaaaaask aawwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaay :D
Personal
1- How are you?
2- Post a picture of yourself.
3- Do you ever wish you were someone else?
4- What is your entire name?
5- How old are you?
6- Age you get mistaken for:
7- Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality:
8- What did you do on your last birthday?
9- What is one thing you would like to accomplish before your next birthday?
10- What is your hair color?
11- Have you ever dyed your hair?
12- What is your eye color?
13- If you could change your eye color, would you?
14- Do you wear contacts/glasses?
15- Your opinion about your body and how confortable you are with it:
16- Have you ever considered plastic surgery? What would you alter about your body?
17- Say 8 facts about your body:
18- Do you have any tattoos?
19- Do you have any piercings?
20- Left or right handed?
21- What’s your sexual orientation?
22- Do you drink?
23- Do you smoke?
24- Do you have any pets?
25- Where do you work?
26- Something you are working on right now:
27- Do you have any “rules” about food?
28- Where are you from?
29- What would you say is your best quality?
30- What do you think you’re really good at?
31- What do you think you’re really bad at?
32- What talent do you wish you’d been born with?
33- Are you a bad person?
34- Are you nice to everyone?
35- Say 3 facts about your personality:
36- Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
37- What is your ideal bed? Why?
38- Did you wake up cranky?
39- Do you sleep with a stuffed toy?
40- What do you think about the most?
41- Share 2 habits:
42- What you want to be when you “get older”?
43- What are your career goals?
44- What is your ideal career?
45- Is your life anything like it was two years ago?
46- Do you replay things that have happened in your head?
47- Have you ever had an imaginary friend?
48- Say 10 facts about your room:
49- Do you have any phobias?
50- Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist?
51- Are you allergic to anything? If so, what?
52- Ever broken any bones?
53- Ever come close to death?
54- Things you like and dislike about yourself:
55- A random fact about yourself:
56- What are three things most people don’t know about you?
57- An unknown fact about your life:
58- Share something about yourself others might think is weird:
59- Five weird things that you like:
60- Do you have a facebook? If so, would you add the person who sent you this?
61- Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?
62- Describe yourself in one word/sentence:
63- A quote you try to live by:
64- Leave me a compliment:
Favorites
65- What is your favorite thing to do?
66- What’s your favorite color?
67- What’s your favorite band/singer?
68- What’s your favorite movie?
69- What are your favorite books?
70- What is your favorite quote and why?
71- What is your favorite word?
72- What is your least favorite word?
73- What is your favorite type of food?
74- Your favorite ice cream?
75- What’s your favorite animal?
76- Dogs or cats?
77- Describe your favourite texture:
78- What is your favorite flower?
79- What’s your favourite scent? And on the opposite sex?
80- What is your favorite season?
81- What are the top five places you wish you could go before you die?
82- What are four things you can’t live without and why?
83- Which mythological creature are you most like? Why?
84- What’s your favorite television show?
85- Favorite place to shop at?
86- Say 2 facts about your favorite things: Family, childhood and places
87- Say 4 facts about your parents:
88- Are you more like your mom or your dad?
89- Do you have any siblings?
90- Say 9 facts about your family:
91- What’s your relationship like with your family?
92- Say 7 facts about your childhood:
93- The best and the worst childhood memories:
94- Say 6 facts about your home town:
95- Are you going out of town soon?
96- Where would you like to live?
97- What would your dream house be like?
98- Where would you go on your dream vacation?
99- Where you want to be right now?
100- Top three places to visit:
Friends
101- Would you ever smile at a stranger?
102- Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?
103- Who is someone you never tire of?
104- Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
105- Who is your most loyal friend?
106- Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?
107- If your best friend died, what would you do?
108- A reason you’ve lied to a friend:
109- Have you ever felt replaced?
110- Say 5 facts about your bestfriend(s):
Relationships
111- The last person you hugged?
112- Who was your first kiss with?
113- Do you like kissing in public?
114- Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
115- You have a preference for boys or girls?
116- Is the male or female body closest to perfection?
117- Do you believe in love at first sight?
118- Do you believe in soul mates?
119- What is your idea of the perfect date?
120- Based on past relationships or crushes, describe your perfect boyfriend/girlfriend:
121- What is the first thing you noticed in someone?
122- Are looks important in a relationship?
123- What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
124- What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
125- Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
126- Five guys/girls whom you find attractive:
127- Do you have a crush on anyone?
128- A description of the girl/boy you like:
129- Say 1 fact about the person your like:
130- If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
131- When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
132- Do you think someone has feelings for you?
133- Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
134- Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
135- Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
136- Anyone you’re giving up on?
137- Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
138- Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
139- Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
140- Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
141- Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
142- Is there someone you will never forget?
143- Say five ways to win your heart:
144- What turns you on?
145- What turns you off?
146- What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
147- What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
148- What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
149- Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Have you had one written for you?
150- What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
151- Are you in love?
152- Are you in a relationship?
153- If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
154- Are relationships ever worth it?
155- Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
156- Can you commit to one person?
157- Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
158- Do you ever want to get married?
159- Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
160- Future names of your children:
161- Do you get jealous easily?
162- The last time you felt jealous, and why?
163- What is your definition of cheating?
164- Have you ever been cheated on?
165- Do you forgive betrayal?
166- Have you ever cheated on someone?
167- Why did your last relationship fail?
168- Things you want to say to an ex:
169- A description of the person you dislike the most:
170- If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
171- How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
172- How long was your longest relationship?
173- You’ll love me if…
174- Share a relationship story:
Music, movies and books
175- How often do you listen to music?
176- What kind of music you like?
177- Do you like to dance?
178- What was the first concert/show you attended?
179- Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?
180- Share a song that takes you to a certain memory in the past:
181- A song that’s been stuck in your head:
182- Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play:
183- A book you want to read/have recently read:
184- Describe your dream library:
185- Last movie you just watched:
186- Do you like watching what type of movies? Situations and crazy things
187- You’re in a tattoo parlor about to get inked. What are you getting done? 
189- What’s something you can see yourself going to jail for?
190- If you could be any character, from any literary work, who would you choose to be?
191- You’re given $10,000��under one condition: you cannot keep the money for yourself. Who would you give it to?
192- If you had to go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?
193- If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?
194- If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?
195- You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?
196- If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?
197- What is the first curse word that comes to mind?
198- What the last party you went to was… and when the next will be…
199- Halloween costume idea?
200- What are you supposed to be doing right now?
201- Currently wanting to see anyone?
202- Why you follow me?
203- If you met me what would you do?
204- Leave me a ridiculous question:
205- Leave me a cute message: Opinions and beliefs
206- Is the cup half full or half empty for you right now?
207- Do you believe in fate/destiny?
208- What you wish for on 11:11?
209- Do you consider yourself lucky? What’s your good luck charm?
210- Do you believe in aliens or life on other planets?
211- What is your religion, if any?
212- Would you go against your moral code for money?
213- What’s more important to you: strength of the body or strength of the mind?
214- How important you think education is?
215- If you were the president, what would you do?
216- If you could change one thing in the world, what would you change?
217- Is it the thought that counts? Or is that phrase circumstantial?
218- If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do?
219- Which movie character do you most identify with and why? 
Feelings and Others
220- Are you a procrastinator or do you get things done early?
221- Post a photo/draw a picture/write a poem (pick one) of a moment of personal significance:
222- Say 5 things you love unconditionally:
223- What motivates you in life?
224- Something that you’re proud of:
225- Five words/phrases that make you laugh:
226- Share the story of something that makes you smile:
227- Something you always think “what if…” about:
228- What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you? What’s the story behind that?
229- Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life:
230- Something/someone that you miss:
231- Are you over your past?
232- What is your saddest memory?
233- One of the hardest moments in your life:
234- Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?
235- What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?
236- What was your most embarrassing moment?
237- Share one of your fears/insecurities:
238- Something you’re currently worrying about:
239- Have you done something you regret very much?
240- If you could take something back that you said or did, what would it be?
241- Does anyone hate you?
242- Do you hate anyone?
243- Are you good at hiding your feelings?
244- What’s something you hide about your personality?
245- How do you approach social situations?
246- Are you a social or an antisocial person?
247- Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
248- Do you care if people talk badly about you?
249- How do you deal with criticism?
250- How you hope your future will be like?
251- What’s something that scares you about the future?
252- Five intems you lust after:
253- One thing you’re excited for:
254- Describe the most terrifying/strangest/beautiful dream you’ve ever had:
255- Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
256- Who is your celebrity crush?
257- Make a confession:
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lyrarizi · 1 day ago
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THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSION ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL LEAKS
i sadly saw the leaks of hazbin s2 and now a whole plotpoint is ruined for me, i can make sure if you are still saved from seeing them, this is my advice just take a couple days of social media ESPECIALLY of tiktok and wait until the leaks are removed from platforms because they are HEAVY leaks they arent just some simple conversations
how i found out is a gacha reaction video on youtube without ANY spoiler warnings, just dont watch upcoming reaction vids if you consume them people WILL take profit and make reactions, under the cut is the exact name of the video but im not going to type that here since its kinda on the nose and will give you a huge idea of what the leak is about
ALSO: i said under the cut that comments are a safe space to talk and discuss about the spoiler so do NOT look at them since they will showcase spoiler, so to make it clear hopefully
DO NOT LOOK IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU WANT TO STAY SPOILER FREE PLEASE <3
under the cut is discussion about one of the leaks so if you want to stay spoiler free i beg you do not read further
so about that leak..
i do not like it one bit, i am praying to god its fake because it is such a weird choice
because as we see in the leak rosie owns alastor's soul, that is heavily implied, and i myself do not like this choice
we can clearly see alastor does not like rosie and rosie only sees him as a pet and calls him so, this just ruins their whole dynamic for me
alastor and rosie seemed genuine friends and loved to spend time with one nother they were really cute, i thought alastor finally had somone he could lean on
so this
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is all fake, all of alastor's moments that we thought were rare moments of his real joy, are fake.
rosie being happy that her best friend has returned from his 7 years disappearance to who knows where?
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fake, she's just happy her pet is home to clean up her dirty work..
this also puts into perspective that alastor really does not have any real friends, niffty still always is on his leash so there is a power imbalance, husker probably hates him, vox hates him too and when they were friends i think alastor only was there for the entertainment or he saw him not as a friend anymore as soon as vox confessed
but i really do not like this.
i saw those two as a genuine friendship, married for tax benefits, queerplatonic, best friends for life, even lovers,
not as master/pet
they were cute together, alastor finally had someone he could trust and rosie had someone she could hangout with, gossiping together, rosie enables alastor and alastor enables rosie, maybe they were a bit transactional but you could clearly see they cared about eachother
in the leak we see a total different dynamic, alastor hates rosie and plays along with her, rosie takes delight in alastor's suffering and degrades him like calling him "pet" puts him in cages, uses him as a doll
this is the video i looked at:
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im not shaming them this is just the internet but this clearly shows the leak without any sort of warning on the title, cover, or even in the description, i knew nothing about alastor's deal leaks so i had no idea this one would show leaks
as far as i know this the only gacha reaction up to this point where they react to leaks
but now, while i have been writing this post i have been thinking about it.
this is a fun twist i can say, nobody was seeing this coming this is an actual surprise
i can accept and deal with the fact that rosie is alastor's soulowner and maybe still find enjoyment in it, i mean i always love to see alastor suffer and him having 0 real friends is pretty funny (AND SAD)
but if you want to talk about the leaks here in the comments is a safe space to discuss, i can understand you would like to talk with someone about this revelation so come say hi in the comments if you want :D
UPDATE:
So have been thinking about the leak for a bit once i let it sink in
We saw the leak and it looks real (good animation that is hazbin hotel style and the voices are not ai or someone must have had a really good bot for that)
But just because we saw the leak doesn't mean we have context for it
I still am a full believer in the eve/roo theory even after this leak and have been pondering on this animatic
What if roo posessed or shapeshifted into rosie??
We know Alastor doesn't have a good relation with his soulowner and he seems to genuinely like rosie's company, he even bleats and his pupils dilate thats not something you can controle
So it makes no sense for it to be actually rosie
My theory is that roo wanted to be extra petty towards Alastor and decided to sing that song to him as rosie, because whats better than singing a song about owning their soul as their only real loyal best friend??
I know i'm just stretching at this point but i refuse to believe this without context and hazbin is already hella fucking complicated so this could fit
Anyways what do you think? You think this leak is real or fake, do you also not believe it or are you in denial? Lemme know i'm curious and love to trade theories! <3
91 notes · View notes
technicolorxsn · 1 year ago
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?????
0 notes
bondagebimbo · 7 days ago
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LOVE when the pharmacy decides to fucking dick around with my meds so badly that now I’m off my mood stabilizer, my pain meds, and my fucking birth control (in a few days) because they’re insisting I should have extra fucking bottles of each one and I DONT because they don’t let me pick up more than a one month supply of narcotics at a fucking time so do explain where these extra bottles are, hmm ????? and they didn’t have enough caplyta ordered last time to even give me my usual 3 months supply of that so … ???? get your fucking heads out of your asses and give me the fucking meds you owe me ??? like ??? but I’m in a nasty headspace right now so if I call the pharmacy this morning, I’m going to be that cunt ass customer they bitch about all day because this isn’t the first time they’ve done this. in fact, the first time, they straight up committed insurance fraud by marking one of my scripts as filled and picked up WHEN, IN REALITY, THEY FUCKING LOST THE SCRIPT AND HAD NO RECORD OF IT BEING FILLED OR PICKED UP IN THEIR SYSTEM, BUT YET, MARKED IT AS SUCH AND CHARGED MY INSURANCE AN ALMOST 8 GRAND FOR THE FUCKING 3 MONTHS OF MY MOOD STABILIZER THAT I. NEVER. RECEIVED. I’m genuinely about to report this entire pharmacy to the pharmacy board because I’m so fucking done with this place. it needs to be shut the fuck down because you’re telling me, out of an entire pharmacy, y’all share the same IQ point AND dead brain cell, collectively ??? then don’t fucking work in healthcare where people rely on you to know your shit and keep track of their fucking meds because you’re just constantly making shit worse on people since you can’t seem to not fuck around with these meds and not ‘lose’ scripts. fuck out of here.
and I’m pretty much out of weed, which is usually my back up pain management method, without the money to afford a delivery order by their cut off time to order in 3 hours because I just paid my fucking bills and have SOME to go towards it, but not enough for delivery to be free, and I’d still have to walk my ass to one of the ATM’s nearby because they don’t accept my bank as a prepaid method OR any of the cards I have on my person. 🫠
I can literally feel my back spasming and seizing on and off while I’m laying on my fucking side, I’ve had a migraine with a stupid ass aura for almost a week now because chronic migraines fucking suck and i was REALLY hoping this one would be over by now, my muscle inflammations that my pain meds are supposed to limit are already beginning to start their itching deep in my muscles so soon they’ll blossom into a whole fibromyalgia fucking episode and become entirely inflamed, my joints in my hands fucking hurt because of the dreary weather so I really need to get into a rheumatologist at some point soon as well and get that shit figured out, I’m nauseas as fuck from all the pain, and I’m moody, hormonal, and just feel like fucking death physically.
I’m just. I give up.
this shit is exhausting and painful and so mentally fucking taxing to constantly deal with and I just want a fucking break from all this fucking shit. I wish I could just … not exist … for even just a little while with how fucking painful existing actually feels right now 🫠😭
#i hate that CT weed is so fucking expensive#half a fucking ounce shouldn’t cost me $250 …….. not when I can go to MA and get an ounce for $108 after tax ……..#but I don’t have a way to MA because my fucking best friend. who made plans with me OVER THE WEEKEND. HER. SHE INITIATED THEM.#canceled on me last second even though I texted her early the night before when I know she would see it 🫠#nope instead she waited from the text I sent at 6:30pm until noon the next day to cancel because her period is kicking her ass#NOT FOR FUCKING NOTHING BUT SO THE HELL IS MINE ???? AND IM ANEMIC ??? AND DEALING WITH ALL THIS EXTRA PAIN ON TOP OF IT ????#and I know I’m being irrational and insensitive because pain tolerance is a sliding scale for everyone#but like fucking come on you do this 3 out of 4 times YOU make the plans to hang out and I’m fucking over it.#plus I’m the one that always pays for everything and does she ever even OFFER to hit me back for the COUNTLESS ounces of weed I’ve got her#all because she couldn’t afford it so I said I’d cover it and she never paid me back. I’ve bought her at least a grand’s worth of weed#just over the last couple months and she’s never ONCE offered to pay me back for a single one#like ……… I don’t expect it. I give if I have it. but you can’t even just offer ??? like the invitation to pay me back would be enough to no#leave m ragingly pissed off and feeling used as an atm again for yet another ‘friend’ because they don’t even OFFER to be considerate#of course I’d say not to worry about it but it doesn’t even cross your fucking head to ask if I want anything towards it#like the next time you get paid ??? when you go and spend your own money on weed that day but can’t reimburse me for anything IVE paid for#oh and I always have to give her gas money if I even simply just want to hang out because she’s always fucking broke somehow#and she works in healthcare like bitch I know what you make and you can’t play that you don’t have enough to get by or throw me 50 bucks#towards YOUR weed that I’m buying every once in a fucking while when I’m already paying for everything fucking else#I’m so angry and I know I’m being irrational and bitchy but this is what happens when you’re tripped off your meds cold turkey#and one of them is a mood stabilizer that makes it so you DONT feel this way about people and aren’t so bitter when you’re let down 🫠🫠🫠#because now my rejection sensitive dysphoria is going to be triggered even easier than usual and I’m just.#I actually fucking give up. I don’t even know what to do here. the pain going through my body is so fucking intense#I keep losing my train of thought because everything hurts and then every once in a while a DIFFERENT pain acts up and throws itself in too#I just. I just can’t fucking win.#I hate fucking struggling with my mental state like this when I’m off my meds.#and because I have to be a month without my stabilizer/pain management/birth control it’s going to take me ANOTHER month to get readjusted#to those in my body so I won’t feel normal again until nearly fucking mid to end January the earliest#and that’s fucking bullshit. I’m going to fucking **** myself by the time I get back on these fucking meds since it’ll take that long#fucking hell I just. I give up. I give in. I’m self isolating and cutting myself off from everyone because it’ll be in THEIR best interest#for me to do so when I can’t control my mind like this. I’m so tired of feeling so fucking shitty and I’ve only been off them for two days
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liquidstar · 8 months ago
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a friend who'd wait :)
#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops.#and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can!#and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol#finn's ocs#finn's art#i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me#and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun#i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here:#barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past#he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it#he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned#which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them#they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore#but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird#and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place#though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library#and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together#since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door#eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement#barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time.#barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate#but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd#he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself#but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done.#and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies.#and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them)#and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances''#from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov#sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3#but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh
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nomairuins · 2 months ago
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i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is
#ive been overthinking 1 light and casual mildly funny response to something but im worried itll come off as disrespectful and dismissive And#make me seem stupid and uncaring all at the same time. and also be seen as insulting. but like idt itd be insulting right like. im not#saying what it is so ig for all you guys know im like I mean if i say All your shit suck ball and i hateit kys. <- thats not the thing i was#going to say#like it doesnt matter now the window for response is closed now but i feel stupid bc i shouldve just said it it was light and casual. im so#bad at keeping convos gojng im convinced im not going to survive. In like a light and casual way like in a He will not make it through the#winter joke way. dw. im not going to do anything bc i had One failed interaction. if i was going to do anythjng itd be bc of the 8000000#other failed interactions. But im not. anyways. it just makes me feel so useless 😭 like i want to respond i want to talk to ppl so bad but#i feel like i mess things up Irreparably every time i speak OR i take too LONG overthinking my response and then i just cant respond bc its#been too long and then its been 3 years and the only messages ive ever sent r my intro message and 1 message 2 years ago that nobody#responded to at all. or the conversation stopped immediately after. and like i used to be better at this i was lkke. talkative in a couple#muts servers like. i talked 2 ppl daily in those servers and i had fun and like. I was an important part of the group and i felt like it#but i just feel like such an outsider for Everything and its literally my fault bc i cant just like. Talk. The explosion. bc im always like#im gonna try im gonna do it this time im gonna get it back im going to finally be Good connor and im going to fix it all and make a Good#solid friend group and ill find HEALTHY LOVE and i wont selfsabotage and ill move out and have a job and ill balance it well and ill start#all my hobbies and ill have a great routine and be so loveable and on top of it and not stressed and content and happy and roll with the#punches and then theres a single hiccup and im like Well fuckinf whatever im going to be an unemployed hermit forever and im going to die b4#im 25 anyways so Who cares and also im digging a little hole for myself. and its like. AUGHH ik i just have to persevere and overcome but#even saying that feels so stupid its not fucking hard its Talking to ppl. like. i literally if ive ever said a word to you i had to think#avt it and strategize how to respond right even for like. like. it makes it sound like its not genuine it is#like for example i want to say hey i love your art! but then i freak out and im like thats not normal thats like a rly generic comment they#hear that all the time theyll thjnk im being polite and my brains like hrmmm rewrite Your art changed my life. It shaped me. Ill never be#the same. Nad im like ok too far overcorrected go back and the sentence generator is like Your art has colors 💯 like. GOD. WHY IS IT SO#difficult. and then usually i either just dont say anythinf and feel awful abt it 4ever OR i send it on anon and then i spend like 15#minutes ibsessively slightly tweaking the apelling and capitalization and punctuation to make sure it doesnt seem like its me just in case#it Is the worst possible thing to say but then i see the response and itll be like AWWW TYSM :] THIS MEANS A LOT or whathaveyou and i feel#stupid bc i couldve just Told them this to their face and it wouldve been a good positive interaction we had. but instead i had 2 hide and#tyoe entirely differently so they couldnt sniff me from my typing style. and it soesnt even feel like the thanks is actually 4 me bc i#tweaked the message sm. and it still makes me happy that the oersons hapoy but its like. that couldve been a nice mutual interaction#like not that i need a personal ty i compliment ppl when i Want to compliment ppl and when its genuine yk. i dont do it so i get mutualpoint
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sonknuxadow · 6 months ago
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they werent lying that knuckles series barely has knuckles in it
#i pirated that shit Btw just so we're clear. also gonna talk about it a little bit in the tags#nothing too spoilery but also might not wanna read if you want to go in knowing absolutely nothing? idk#anyway he WAS a main character still he was present for a decent amount of the first couple episodes#but the amount of screentime he gets just starts dropping after that . hes barely there at all in the second half ???#and it feels like theres a lot of scenes mostly focusing on wade and his problems and not near as many for knuckles and his whole deal#overall it feels more like a wade show with knuckles in it than a knuckles show with wade in it. which sucks#and human characters having plot relevance isnt the problem here i dont mind human characters at all i think they can be really fun#its the fact that the human characters are taking over the story and spotlight when the show is called knuckles#and all the marketing makes it look like knuckles is the main focus#and i also would have preferred if they just went with a differnet character to be knuckles' human friend#because i dont particulraly care about wade. and the knuckles (and sonic and tails) i know would not be friends with cops </3#well at least the story wasnt knuckles training wade to be a better cop like a lot of people were expecting but thats like.the bare minimum#also aside from the issues relating to knuckles' screentime (or lack of screentime) i thought the ending was unsatisfying#regardless of all that though there WERE some parts i enjoyed or found kind of funny or whatever. because knuckles so cutesy as always#knuckles being a cute little guy is the most important part of the show actually#and i liked the parts with sonic tails and maddie even if they were only there for like 5 minutes#(i really wish those three had gotten more screentime. i feel like they could have easily worked in at least one more scene with them)#and its a minor thing but the opening sequence is cute. was honestly expecting just a title card or something#overall the show is just . kind of okay i guess. not the worst thing ive ever seen but still disappointing ? idk how to explain..#my expectations also werent very high in the first place#so maybe im being a bit more generous than i would have been otherwise. idk#and i definitely would not recommend this to anyone who already dislikes the sonic movies . youll probably hate this more#like people who thought the human characters got too much screentime in the second movie would lose their minds if they saw this
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britneyshakespeare · 1 year ago
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He won't leave my fucking friends alone.
#tales from diana#sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe#i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again'#ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations#i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!!#i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to#he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle???#the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong#like im the shady person and the liar.#i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back#i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself.#he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him#and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore.#if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually.#i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was.#and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him.#i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent#some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh?#i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least#a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them#theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear#and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong#even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever#i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it#i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse.#he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known.#he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity.#and will i say none of this to him? no#im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me.#i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.
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theloveinc · 9 months ago
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okay scrolling through ur bkg tag and saw ur tags on drummer bkg post!! (which love btw!! the whole jealousy song is so him dhdbsjsna like hes such a wet soggy cat i need him) ANYWAY and u saw japanese breakfast and u how u thought the lead singer and guitarist were dating but they’re actually married 😭😭😭😭 have you read crying in h mart? it’s about her mother dying of cancer and their relationship but she also writes about her and her husband getting together and oh my god their relationship is so beautiful and they love each other so much. when i saw them in concert anytime they looked at each other id tear up. yes i am crazy! anyway!! i was also high as hell at that concert too!! they put on an excellent show. i got to see them another time when they opened up for paramore too which was very cool
i've actually had a copy of crying in h-mart for YEARS except i've only ever managed to get about three chapters in, i think because when i first started it, i ended up getting a little swamped with school...
but it's still on my shelf WAITING FOR ME and this makes me want to pick it up again!! i know my friend finished it last month and put it on her rec list (also my mom loves it weirdly??), so i'll def put it back in my current pile of to-reads!! (which is huge rn because i have so many books i wanna donate to the classroom i'm working in, but actually want to finish first asdfajdkaj).
anyway, YES, I was BLOWN away by their performance!! which is always an experience bc i remember i wasn't super familiar with their music beforehand and they ended up being in my 10 ten artists or something the year after. i even managed to get the setlist!! which i gave to my friend bc she was the one who invited me<3
you can tell the whole band just has amazing chemistry with one another, and it shows not just through the music put in their stage presence, as well, which is not an average feat. you're so lucky you got to see them twice AND PARAMORE!! did you see the recent video where something went wrong on stage and hayley sang "someone is getting fired??"
LOL ANYWAY, thanking for the lovely ask and rec to pick CIHM back up!!
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technicolorxsn · 1 year ago
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finished pins and unfinished ones :)
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snekdood · 4 months ago
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bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?
#personally I think me making fun of a douchey type of dude is less bad than drawing 'rape is fun' but yknow#ig I can just weigh the gravity of how bad each thing is accurately idk#vent#'yeah but you started to identify with the douche bag character !!' well- even before i realized I wanted to be him- the plot was#already that he was going to grow out of being a dick. him and mj were going to help eachother realize their flaws and become better#to eachother and everyone else. so by the time i DID realize I wanted to be a guy I already had in mind the mature version of him#floating around but I didn't really post about it bc I didn't want to spoil anything at the time#and it took me a LONG TIME to accept that I wanted to be snake. I was trans before that. and then when I was close to accepting it#I had that whole 'lsd' thing that made me slink back into my shell bc the people I was around made me feel like I would never be a guy#so instead I figured if I couldn't be snake then the next best thing was to be *with* him and started to self ship myself w him and he#evolved even more into an even more mature version of him that by the time I got out on the other side of feeling like I couldn't#be a guy I had this more serious and mature version of him in my mind and started to accept that I wanted to be him and basically was him#and just didn't know bc that version of snake was more like me than the one I made in 2013/14#in 2013/14 I was only ever considering my comic in the context of some sort of comedy and just wanted to make a douchey character#to make fun of bc I had a lot of douchey people in my life who I felt like needed to be knocked down a peg and I figured the best way#to do that was to make an example out of them via the old version of snake and have him be an overly confident asshole whos hubris#often gets himself humbled even if hes too prideful to accept or admit it#at this point in time I didn't really see much of myself in any of my ocs. maybe a lil bit in mj and (mostly)peaches bc I didn't know it wa#ok to id with a guy... but even when I did subconsciously id with him here n there...i didnt relate to snakes douchey-ness like at all.#sometimes I jokingly act like a douche but again its for the same reason that I made snake a douche back then in the first place-#to make fun of people like that- to hopefully show them how foolish they are by me mirroring them or. alternatively. making people#laugh at me acting that way because pretending to act like a douche is easier to enjoy and laugh at than dealing w an actual douche#i'd do it with my ex-bestfriend all the time- I made snake such a dick because we'd laugh about it together and bc we wanted to make#fun of the dicks around us who lacked any self awareness and if not that any actual fuck about how lame and shitty they come off#what can I say. it's fun to mock people sometimes.#when I actually started to accept it my first pic I drew of him being obviously trans was in 2016... soo a couple months before I remet#my abuser...#which honestly explains why that whole relationship was so rough on me. I had just finally accepted myself and then this person comes#along and tries to smear me and gaslight me into thinking im Horrible for who I am. like. hello???????#my first time fully being myself was with them and their friend group and they all accepted me until their cult leader told them not to
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alchemiclee · 1 year ago
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me: this thing doesn't work. i'm struggling so much. I can't do this. this is bad. i'm failing. etc etc
friend: you can do it, I believe it you!!!
me: 😊!!!
#positivity#i dont know how to tag this actually so i'll ramble instead#i always say this to other people now because it feels nice tbh#i had one friend (who randomly disappeared a couple years ago D:) always say this to me and i adopted it#before i only had people tell me what to do and their advice didnt work or wasnt what i needed#or they get angry at me for “being too negative” and i hate it. most people still do these things#i used to try to solve/fix people's problems too because it's what everyone did to me so i thought its what youre supposed to do?#but i generally get way better responses by saying this. there is the occasional very negative person#who gets mad at me for it and is like “no i cant do it! dont tell me i can. dont mock me!” and im just like ok whatever dont do it then????#idk what those people want lmao some people arent happy with anythjng you say#also i forgot to mention i often take people's experiences and try to show i understand and relate and/or tell them them they arent alone#ans their experiences and feelings are valid. but i also get negative responses to that as well....#do most people not like to feel valid and less alone??? i thought most people seek validation and hate feeling alone#but maybe some people like to feel special and like the only one ever or something lmao who knows#those people go in the same box as the overly negative ones that hate everything you say to them#i forgot what i was talking about now#lee rambles#lee text
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actualsunflower · 1 year ago
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We saw you join the falloutwiki server after we invited you, but you left? We can't find you there anymore!
Im an incredibly skilled join-immediatly-leave-er in pretty much every server there is in the fallout fandom. Also we talked in person I know who you are whyd you send me an anon
I went on a slightly unrelated rant in the tags LMAO I already wrote it there's no going back
#sorry i saw the list and would rather not#have some affiliations that make me uncomfortable#sorry :/#sunflower asks#plus servers i usually stay in are either ones i joined when i was like 18-19 and then. uh actually that's it#besides a few mod servers now since im learning. but strictly adult ones#kinda makes me sad now that i think about it. cause i joined all those when i was 18-19 and mad and easily influenced#so i made a lot of decisions i regret. and was very easily influenced by a couple ppl#and i feel very stupid about it. i was younger and eager to make friends! those friends were not good choices#and i ended up being pretty awful to some very nice people bcs i wanted to stay close friends with the other ppl#not going to name names obviously.#those ppl were awesome and made me feel very welcome and are some of the only ppl who are actually into the same things i am#but i was really awful to them bcs there was someone i liked on what ill call the 'opposite' side of what we were into#and i wanted that person to keep liking me. but they were very very vocal abt being grossed out w this and that.. stuff the rest of us were#actually into and happy abt. stuff im STILL into now and was into in the past. but pretended i wasnt so that person would still like me#and it got me really fucked up. and that person we're still friends but rarely talk anymore#and it didnt go anywhere however that was my choice as i realized id made a really really big mistake#mind you. person reading my way too long and oversharing tags. this was like.. 2 or 3 years ago now?#and i STILL feel bad about it. I literally think about it 5-6 times a week. and not like in passing like genuinely often genuinely bad#im actually an adult now and actually got my stuff together by pretty much cutting every single person i knew off entirely#and spent 2 years just suffering doing nothing completely alone. and now it's impossible to make friends#and i feel really really bad about it. i shouldve been and behaved better. but i didnt and really paid the price for it#and i feel very isolated and alone pretty much constantly. i dont think i will ever find a group of people who were so accepting and kind#and actually into what i was into with zero judgment again. cause we're not a big fandom. and those were pretty much the only ones#ive wanted to reach out to apologize on multiple occasions but figured it wouldnt matter#then i remembered 2 of those ppl owe me art i paid for and never got..... so i think about that often too.....#ah the irony there. it is not lost on me#but yeah thanks for reading this fucking ESSAY in the tags
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rhosgobelbun · 4 months ago
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steve's been knocking on doors trying to find eddie. he would be annoyed that all he's found are couples and groups in states of undress but this is some random house party, so it's what steve expects.
plus he's too relieved that he hasn't walked in on eddie being a part of any of it.
steve knows it's gross to feel this way. he trusts eddie 100%. it's not right to let past relationship problems cloud his judgement when it comes to what he has with eddie - who hasn't given him any reason to doubt.
but eddie is so new. been together for only 2 months now new.
and tommy was so old. childhood friend/fucked up situationship for 10 long years old. just ended for good a year and a half ago old.
so even though he knows, hopes, prays, that it's ridiculous to compare the two together, steve still checks the bathroom and makes sure the man on his knees in front of some blonde cheerleader isn't his boyfriend.
and then promptly ducks down to avoid a brush the blonde cheerleader throws at him.
'sorry!' steve apologizes. he hurries to slam the door closed and makes his way to the very last room at the end of the hallway.
maybe he left? eddie didn't want to serve here anyway, rich druggie clientele be damned. so even though they came together, maybe eddie had an emergency and-
steve cuts that thought off because well. he found eddie.
'baby!!' his boyfriend exclaims, alone, sitting on the floor in the middle of some random strangers room with a jar of peanut butter. he's got a spoon full of it half way up to his mouth and his eyes are red.
at least 4 brownies deep red.
the wave of relief he feels is actually pretty concerning, but steve will think about that some other time since he's too busy trying not to laugh at how ridiculous the long haird idiot looks.
'eddie, what are you doing?'
eddie looks guilty and for a split second steve thinks maybe he did walk in on eddie with someone else. (maybe he's waiting on them? maybe they already left?)
then eddie holds up the jar of peanut butter and says in the saddest voice, 'i needed it stevie, i don't remember how long it's been since i've had peanut butter. but i didn't think you'd find me! stay back! don't you come any closer!'
so this whole time while steve's been worried that eddie was off doing what tommy used to do to make him jealous, eddie just snuck off and hid away to eat peanut butter because steves' allergic.
starting to snicker, steve goes to sit across from him. 'i can be around it babe, im not gonna die.'
eddie rushes to close the jar, spoon shoved inside and all. he gives steve the stink eye. 'i know what peanut allergies can do to some people. i refuse to watch you blow up like a tomato.'
steve rolls his eyes and reaches out, acting like he's gonna touch the jar.
eddie yells. jumping to his feet, he scurries out of the closet like an over grown rat, 'steve harrington this is exactly why I was trying to eat this away from you!'
steves laughing now, giggling like a hyena. he can't believe he ever doubted this man.
later that night - after eddie has showered and brushed his teeth at least three times - when they're tucked away in eddies room under the covers, steve talks to him about his freak out. eddie apologizes for leaving him alone at a strangers party like that. he holds him close, gives steve a ton of kisses and promises to create a DND character that represents tommy.
'i'll turn him into a toad and kill him off in the most gruesome way imaginable. he'll be murdered to death, the kids will be traumatized. it'll be great. just you wait and see, my love.'
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shotmrmiller · 3 months ago
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response to this but it got so long and ig im in my throuple era rn
@xoxunhinged i listened to one (1) song on repeat while writing this on the phone
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okay yeah wait or just
it's ghost x price first.
Big burly men taking up too much space in the little coffee shop you work at or something and they're there like clockwork too. Every wednesday and friday, 8 am, usually the first clients of the day and all they order is a regular cup of joe. Plain. You offer alternative sweeteners, powdered creamer, but no dice.
Plain black. Like the occasional smudge of eyeliner(?) around the bigger one's eyes.
They're cute, in their own way. John is a blend of rugged charm and seasoned wisdom. The other, Simon, is mysterious. Guarded. Speaks only to his companion.
The pet names start to get to your head. Of course, you reason that John's just not from around here. His calling you sweetheart from across the room to grab your attention must be English.
But logic cannot stop the heat from licking up your cheeks when he does. or when Simon calls you something different altogether eventually.
"Mornin', pet."
It's even more gut-twisting when you catch glimpses of the occasional PDA: A large hand curling around an even bigger jean-clad thigh. Faces so close they could kiss (Waterboarding couldn't get the fact that you've rubbed your thighs together at the thought of them actually kissing out of you) and the fact that Simon's usually sharp gaze softens around the edges, pale gold whispering against the puckered pink of a barely visible scar beneath his face mask.
A couple. They're a couple. It's bittersweet, that feeling settling in your chest. Like dark chocolate coating your tongue. Honeyed nectar of love, the bitter bite of it not being your own.
Maybe it's time to go out with your friends to the bar.
Things take a nasty turn when Simon, out of the both of them, had come in alone and propositioned you on crisp, saturday morning.
Oh, the acid in your stomach felt like it was corroding the walls of your esophagus as it rose. You don't remember much of what you said but it'd been loud, vitriolic. You'd been so furious. Hurt that they had something so sweet, something they could call their own, and here comes this big dumb oaf looking for a piece of warm meat to stick his cock into on the side.
Your manager sent you home for the day.
And home you were headed, well more like the bus stop, stomping away and across the street but the hand that wraps around your arm to keep you in place is John's. (You'd been actually fighting to get away and he hadn't even tightened his grip enough to hurt. embarrassing.)
He clears things up. Tells you to forgive Simon, he's not the most verbose or eloquent with the words he does choose to speak. "He's good at receivin' orders instead of givin' 'em. isn't tha' righ'?"
The "yes, sir" that comes out of Simon is immediate. Obedient. Submissive. (gagging, i actually slammed the desk with my fist rn) A man who knows his place because it is etched in stone. Your teeth grind like rusted gears to keep from turning into a pool of liquid in broad daylight.
"What he meant," he roughly clarifies, "is that we would like you to share our bed." your face burns hot enough to sting. "If you want," John continues, limpid blue eyes fixed on your own.
He looks rather handsome in his uncertainty.
They don't even let you go home to wash and clean up when you nod. (Or shave. Simon had very audibly scoffed at your complaint about that. Said something crass about eating lollipops off the carpet)
The dynamic had been exactly what you'd expected it to be in the bedroom. When authority spoke, Simon listened. Intently. Without hesitation. When John ordered Simon— who'd sat with his broad chest curling around your spine, cocooning you in warmth and the faint scent of smoke, mahogany, and leather— to hook his hands behind your knees and pull your legs up to your shoulders, he'd done so in an instant.
The subtle burn of your hamstrings stretching pulled a hiss from your kiss-swollen lips.
"Bit o' pain with pleasure never hurt anyone, eh, sweetheart?" The deepened rumble of John's voice vibrated in your chest and made your toes curl.
Simon's steady breaths are drowned out by your shuddering ones when John puts his mouth on you, the prickle of his facial hair tickling your sensitive, heated skin.
The burning stretch of your muscles is nothing compared to the sweet sting of two fingers sinking into your hot sex. Pleasure wells in the corner of your eyes when he curls and scissors them while his slick tongue swirls your clit languidly.
He sends you over the edge with practiced ease, shaky limbs, and unsteady mewls. The kiss he plants on your still pulsing cunt is tender, as are your now unrestrained legs.
And he slants his lips-- still dripping slick, dewy beads collecting on his beard-- over Simon's whose mask is now long gone, his erection coming to sit heavy on the fatty mound of your pussy. You can feel the heat of his cock even through his clothes.
A saliva strand connecting them two snaps as he pulls away, glancing down to look at you, sweaty and unkempt, glassy eyes shamelessly staring back.
"I'd let Simon get his turn but," hands weave up your shirt and inside your sports bra while John's grab your legs and wrap them around his thick waist, "gotta prep ya first."
(?)
That comes back to mind after your limbs feel like cold syrup, warmth dribbling from your puffy lips and falling onto the damp bedsheets beneath your arse cheeks.
The question answers itself when Simon slots himself between your aching legs, uncut cock fat and hefty.
(dis)Respectfully, you feel thoroughly used and even now, that doesn't look like it's going to go in easy.
"Easy, love," John's voice comes from above you, "He won't hurt ya. Isn't tha' righ', Simon?"
Simon, who's dark eyes hadn't moved from where John's spend still steadily flowed, cut to him instantly. "Yes, sir."
He hums, a low, raspy sound. "How 'bout you tell our bird tha'?"
A rough hand wraps around your neck, thumb pressed on your fluttering pulse. "I won't hurt ya." His grip tightens, and the swoosh of blood roaring in your ears is deafening.
Much.
The world around you fades, senses attuned only to what's currently wrenching your swollen walls apart, going in, in, and in, it feels never-ending, it's so much, too much, until--
Your stomach clenches, it feels like it's folding in on itself, and a sharp feeling radiates below your navel.
Lips kiss your sweaty temple. "That's all there is. Did so well, eh, sweetheart? Took 'im real good, like you were meant for it."
His cock drags along your over-sensitive, raw nerves in a way that has fire licking up your spine as he pulls back. "Easy, Simon. You'll get your fun from me," John assures.
Your cunt clenches unbidden at that, vise-like around Simon who quietly groans.
The first roll of his hips pushes the air from your lungs, the second blanks your jumbled mind, the third has your nails sinking into whoever's forearms are beside your head, and the fourth has you confusing John's glittering eyes with stars.
And then he places your feet flat on his chest, his weight folding you in half, pinning you in place. Nowhere to run.
Your teeth clack when he thrusts firmly, tip of his cock sitting firmly against the plug of your womb.
"Easy does it, love. Jus' be good 'n take it," John mutters into your ear.
As if you had any choice.
After, when you're completely spent, they tell you to lay back, head propped up by a mountain of pillows, but to keep your legs open, let them see that pretty pussy, they want to see their cum spill out of you.
You thought the fucking Simon gave you had been rough. What John gives him from behind is attempted murder. He grabs at Simon's hair like it's the scruff of a bellicose dog. Pins him in place with his words, growled, thunderous, then his grip. Simon doesn't bare his crooked teeth once.
When your tired hand slithers down to between your legs, tips of your fingers smearing cum around your swollen flesh, arousal surprisingly panging deep in your core, the sheer force of John's thrusts rocks the bed with enough force to crack the wall and Simon whines like a dog in heat.
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rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months ago
Text
heat rage
Tumblr media
words: 1k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, male receiving oral, fwb, hooking up, mentions of drinking/partying and hooking up while drunk
“topper, will you shut the fuck up?” rafe yells, making topper physically jump, eyes widening as he looks to rafe.
“i didn’t even say anything.” topper argues back, his voice almost sounding whiny.
“and yet you’re still being too fucking loud!” rafe growls, looking like he's seconds away from standing up and hitting topper across the face.
“alright, come on.” you stand, gesturing to rafe to join you.
“what?” he grunts out, the heat and stress of the day clearly having gone to his head, making him frustrated and angry for no reason, ready to lash out at anyone.
“you're being a dick because you're all upset.” you say, reaching your hand out for rafe to take, but he just swats it away.
“im fine.”
“fine.” you shrug, turning away from the boys and walking towards the stairs. “i guess you don't want me to give you head.”
rafe is scrambling off the couch to follow you up the stairs towards his bedroom, eyes on your ass as you make your way up each step.
“you're gonna be more relaxed after this right?” you question as rafe closes and locks his door behind you. “because if you're just gonna be an asshole all day im going home.”
“yeah, promise.” rafe nods, leaning forward to press a smearing kiss across your lips. his version of a thank you, since the words will never actually leave his lips.
you're not a couple, but you don't exactly just hook up either. you guess it would be defined as friends with benefits. rafe often says you're the one girl he can actually stand to hang out with, and it certainly helps that you often end up hooking up after parties where you drink a little too much.
rafe places a hand on your shoulder, shoving you down to your knees, indicating just how needy he is for your mouth.
you smirk when you realize he's tenting in his shorts, having grown hard in just minutes. you tug at the two sides of his pants, opening them to reveal his boxers.
“come on.” rafe grunts impatiently.
“rafe, you said you'd be nice!”
“after you give me head i will be! come on, i need it.” rafe pushes his pants and underwear down his hips in one swift motion, his cock popping up from its confines.
you place your hand around the base to hold it steady as your lips and tongue tease over the head, kissing and licking as rafe moans. you wonder if topper is able to hear his sounds as you sink down on his cock, allowing it to fill you mouth.
“fuck, we should do this sober more often.” rafe tangles his hands in your hair, helping guide your motions up and down.
you're determined to make this good and memorable, not just because rafe is pissed off and needing the relief, but as a reason to continue hooking up without the influence of alcohol or drugs in your system, wanting to experience rafe fucking into you without being sloppy drunk.
you force rafes length down into your throat as you bob your head, his hands tightening and loosing in your hair like he keeps losing control only to quickly regain it.
“god, that's fucking good.” rafe moans out, his voice low and when you look up to his face you aren't surprised to find his eyes closed, face one of bliss.
you place both your hands on his thighs, giving yourself a good base as you use your whole body to move off and on his cock, truly getting into the motions.
“damn.” rafe curses. hes inclined to let you do all the work, but he's too into the way it feels that he can't help but begin to thrust his hips forward and back.
you feel yourself choking around his cock and try to hold back the gagging noises as he rams into your throat, but you can't hold them back for long.
the noises don't deter rafe, only spur him on more, his hips pumping faster as you feel his cock swelling in your mouth, the telltale sign of his imminent release.
you try to suck, rub your tongue against the underside of his cock, or give some sort of extra stimulation, but ultimately you end up letting rafe fuck into your face, mouth ajar and wet for him, drool dripping down your chin.
“fuck, cumming.” is all rafe can get out before his cum is spurting down your throat in long ropes that you're eager to swallow.
you pull off the second he's finished, taking deep breaths intermixed with coughing you wish you could control, not wanting to seem like you couldn't handle it.
“you good?” rafe asks, attempting to fix your hair by smoothing his hands over the curls he was gripping tightly into.
“yeah.” you nod quickly. “just get me a drink of water.”
you move from your knees onto the bed, breathing deeply as rafe puts his bottoms back on before heading into the bathroom, coming back with a cup of water for you.
“thanks.” you mumble, taking it from him and gulping it down.
“no, thank you.” rafe says, leaning down and in a moment of rare softness pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 
“we should get back down to topper.” you say, wiping your mouth and taking one last drink.
“shit, kinda forgot he was here.” rafe laughs, helping you stand before walking down the stairs with you, back into the living room where you flop onto the armchair, stretching yourself out and giving your knees much needed relief.
“damn, if i knew all i had to do was get all pissy to have my dick sucked i would have been an asshole this whole time.” topper chuckles, meaning it as a joke, but rafes relieved calm face quickly turns back to one of anger as he growls out.
“oh god.” you drop your face into your hands, all your hard work undone with one sentence from topper.
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