#online school forever
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((i know a lot of you or even the majority are older than me but like
man i am really dreading turning 26 this month
single and live w my parents not feeling so hot about that lol))
#ooc#never even got a college experience because who tf can afford that?#def not me#online school forever
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Visited Nanzenji proper this time rather than just looking at the aqueduct and going home. Headdress, cape, heart apron, and skirt made by me. Details in read more.
This set is my child fr. It's so comfy and so cute. Sewing it all was a small journey so I'll split the details in to sections.
Skirt
I saw the fabric in the shop and knew I wanted to make a skirt out of it. I used the beginners skirt pattern from Otome no Sewing 5 and added eyelet lace for extra fun. The advantage of sewing in Japan is that you can actually find a lot of the same laces that Baby and Meta uses in their designs. The lace here is the eyelet lace Baby uses a lot. The skirt is fully elasticated so it's the most comfortable thing in the world. It makes it so hard to go back to Baby's partially shirred skirts that death grip my waist. My only regret with the skirt is that I should have sewn down the ribbon running through the lace as it likes to catch on things. However, that's something I can do in post too.
Cape
The days were getting colder but I wanted to keep showing off the skirt. All my coats are long, so I decided to make a little matching cape for warmth. I traced the pattern off a capelet on an Innocent World coat I own and then adjusted it so it was longer and curved up at the front. The cape is lined with black satin and interlined with thin wool. It's super cute and the wool makes it a little warmer. The front lines of eyelet lace were inspired by Wirehead Shop's designs. I forgot to account for the larger neckhole that the coat capelet had (to account for the giant coat collar) so the one I made tends to shuffle around more than I'd like. In the future, I might add a button closure to the front rather than ribbons, so it fits tighter.
Heart Apron
I fell in love with Meta's old heart aprons with their curved skirt, I thought they added a bit of something different to the usual straight lines of lace you usually find in egl. This apron is a blatant rip off of that, just with torchon lace instead. The heart bib took a while to get right. I spent about an hour drawing the correct heart shape, bought new fabric so the flowers could be in the centre, and then completely changed the heart shape once I'd cut it out. The ties around the neck are a bit of a train wreck - next time I'd just use black grosgrain ribbon. I'd love to try pairing this with a white or black op (or another floral op for full granny curtain pattern clashing), but I'll have to wait for a nice one to pop up on Mercari.
Other Coord Details
Blouse: Baby (Luanna Blouse)
Bloomers: Baby (2005)
Socks: Metamorphose (2023)
Shoes: Doc Martens (90s)
#i dont know if ill keep this post up forever cuz i dont like posting personal things online#but feel free to message me any further questions about this!#also this was the first thing i'd sewing other than pjs so i'd encourage other beginners to try lolita sewing too!#egl#lolita fashion#old school lolita#baby the stars shine bright#metamorphose temps de fille#my pics
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society if avex listened to my kantaaoi besties agenda
#paralive tag#visty posting#paradox live#kantarou misuji#aoi kureha#like they're already unitmates in canon but likeeee i want them to be besties. avex. for me. as reparationssss#like /silly reasoning is bc theyre my top two faves so they should be besties. the /srs reason is bc from what we have of their trauma hint#i dont think either of them wouldve had people to really be themselves with that were like. their age before each other#like my hc for kantarou's trauma is that he was socially ostracized at the idol school he went to. and for aoi's trauma while their timelin#doesnt mention any falling out w friends their obvious trans coding makes it likely that the prince thing was also a bit of an escapism#thing from being isolated at school as well.#idkkk i just want kantarou to be the person who aoi can actively let the prince persona down around. bc iirc they do still keep it up aroun#the rest of visty. or at the very least they're not vulnerable w their unitmates#on kantarou's side i want him to have friends. someone who he can actually trust to like him that isnt just people online#idkkk im writing a fic rn but its taking forever so i have to post about these two now. underclassman visty duo ily. u are canon to me#anw gn. ramble over
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we mocked this guy but he actually was real asf for this
#how did this rage comic dodge the entirety of covid btw#there's so many forever alone punchlines you could do with zoom and online schooling
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So, I only watched a little bit of qsmp today.
Was it a bad day to miss lore?
#I AM FUMING I JUST LOGGED INTO MY LIL ONLINE GOOFY PLACES AND EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE#POV ME TRYNA PIECE TOGETHER WHAT EVEN HAPPENED COZ I *DO NOT* HAVE TIME TODAY TO WATCH VODS#Like my timeline is spoonfeeding me trauma rn#its like when you miss school for one day and thirty assignments a fight and a concert happened#qsmp#qsmp lore#qsmp forever#all i know is forever looks so fucking cool and qforever has done something so fucking terrible#dont mind me while i scotch tape what happened today in my brain
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I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE SCHOOL I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS
#I FUCKING HATE TIME ZONES#I HATE SCHOOL#I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK TO MY ONLINE FRIENDS FOR EIGHT HOURS OF THE FUCKING DAY#AND THEYRE ALL ASLEEP BY THE TIME I GET BACK!!!!!#SO I CAN BARELY TALK TO THEM#I WILL BE RUINING MY SLEEP SCHEDULE OVER THIS#I LOVE MY ONLINE FRIENDS ☹️☹️#I WANNA TALK TO THEM FOR HOURS AND HOURS FOREVER ☹️☹️☹️#SOBS ☹️☹️☹️#I LOVE YOU GUYD ☹️☹️☹️#I FUCKING HATE THIS AGAHAHHHHH#tagging this as vent bc yk#vent
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no, i dont think im obligated to still small talk an hour into my meet up with a friend group ive been a part of for 2 years, and i dont think im overreacting or showing a lack of loyalty when im unsatisfied with such a conversation. As someone who hates small talk, that friend group isn't for me, and i get nothing from it, and i will choose not to feel like a weirdo (derogatory) or a traitor (..because we didn't promise each other we'd be together forever afaik), for being unsatisfied and leaving. ive shown them affection (that i didnt fully feel) for as long as i could
#switching to small talk bc i dont vibe with them is something my mom suggested#i know they feel the same but even then i think it feels bad to suddenly end it.#probably bc i dont want them to see how bad id treat them if we werent friends. i dont want them to hate me even more#but also i have to come to terms with the fact i will have no friend group if things go this way#because i dont talk to ppl and better ppl wont magically materialise in my dms#or on the lone forest bench i sit on when biking or at the rpg sessions i go to. bc people there are never my type#ppl on the bench are too rich and sporty and ppl on the rpg are too sigma male#im pretty much only hoping ill meet people in college or at art classes irl. or a convention but i didnt even have time to go this year#i should start meeting ppl online but if i dont show my face (online games) it usually doesnt go anywhere#and if i do show my face (tinder) and i mess up (like you do on tinder which is a risky place)#im losing the limited queer people in my city forever. im using up a very finite resource#i could go to meet ppl on tumblr but we will never go to voice call bc its not what you do here#conclusion: what i should do is join more random fandom discords thru tumblr and wait til theyre on call#(<- option A.)#or wait til im in some classes and join a discord with people from my school but not my class#(<- option B.)#however i dont even want to talk to people#fuck people. im tired of people#theres a number of ways i could make friends but i hate everyone i meet and am constantly pissed off and dissatisfied#i may just be aplatonic#its hard to come to terms with
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When people ask "how do I make friends" they usually aren't asking "how do I put my physical body in a place near other people", but unfortunately that's the answer that's always provided. "Join a club" is not a difficult answer to find for an inquiring mind, and yet that's what everyone assumes is being asked. like, I think even dumb people can figure out that "volunteer" or "join a club" are things you can do to meet people.
What's being asked, truly, is "how do I, day in and day out, drag my ass up and go out and meet people and emotionally connect and feel good about it and feel like it's not a waste of my time that could be better spent at home".
No one has an easy answer to that, which is why it's the question constantly being asked. I wish people who answer these questions had more respect for the people asking them.
#i'm tired of therapists online or whatever answering this question this way#it doesn't answer the question!#everyone can figure out how to join a damn club#the trouble is sticking with it#and going for a long ass time until people there just kinda know you#and that shit sucks! and takes forever!#but the reason it worked in high school is cuz you were forced to be around these people 7 hours a day for 12 years
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Bites drywall. Socializing is SO complicated, my goodness.
#🌸 minminrambles#W;#vent#ish#kinda sorta not really almost etc etc.#But i have been typing to myself for the past. …hour or so. About how much i feel my social life has changed and how I haven’t processed ho#overwhelming it is to have social things… happen to me.#Like. Friendships??? Potential romance??? Close and great friendships???#there are a few goofs from school who I guess I’m hanging out with now??? Me— CEO of getting to class an hour early — choosing to hang#out in the science lounge until five minutes before. It hits me like BRICKS.#And I! Have close online friends! And I’m just forever in awe of it. I don’t know how remotely to express it but I have so much love in my#little heart for them. I go stupid trying to write words and emotes and express things. So I hold back a bit.#And gah. There is this femme I’ve been going butch stupid over— I’ve talked with her for a little while- but only met in person this#Tuesday. And ack. I don’t know how to deal with what I’m feeling. Because I want to be careful and reserved but I also want to push forth#And maybe try asking her out on a more official date / meeting???#I have no idea where I’d take her but. Hm. Maybe I could um. Ask the science goofs. Actually. Hm.#But ack. I want to be so careful with every social thing. And I’m rambling too much again but I’m just. Much love in my heart. And much#stupid in my head <3#Sitting here crying a little over it all.#I have a lot in my heart. And it makes me upset that I can’t quite share it how others can. But! I share in the ways I can. Gah.#Anyway much love to you the reader if u have tolerated my ramblings. BAHAHAHA <3
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flippin boobahs!
#weezer#rivers cuomo#brian bell#patrick wilson#scott shriner#OKAH HI CHAT#i’ve been thinking#this tag will be just a rant not really weezer related#yk laufey ?#i was listening to her song ‘letter to my 13 year old self’ and just started overthinking about myself when i was younger#i just think about my younger self and get so sad thinking about her; i wish i could’ve done more for her#i was a huge introvert and talking to anybody made me super super anxious; so much so that my teacher noticed and had me join a ‘social#emotional learning’ group where we spoke about low self esteem and how to raise it and everything like that#i only left it in 8th grade because i didn’t wanna keep missing class for it; but it made me so sad to think i thought so low of myself#i would wear hoodies all the time and jeans because i used to hate my body a lot#which is awful to do in socal heat!#i think it started because in my family i was always stereotyped as the fat one; yk how mexican families are? they called me gordita for#the longest time; which made me incredibly insecure and only in 10th grade did i start showing my arms 😭 IK ITS DUMB BUT ITS SO WEIRD#i still can’t do it entirely; i’ll wear shrugs and things like that because i still am insecure about my arms sometimes but ive been better#i only really had one friend but she had a different lunch; so i was alone for most of the time on the swings by myself or sitting at the#lunch tables alone waiting for lunch to end and this noon duty came to me a lot and would talk to me since she felt bad i was always alone#while everybody else played with each other ; and i don’t know why i just broke down thinking about how lonely i was at the time#i’d go to the school’s friendship room everyday after that because it was just a teacher who let kids come inside her room to play games if#they didn’t wanna be in the heat and soon i became friends w the teacher and she’d play uno with me everyday; mainly because the room was#relatively empty until they got loom bands! and i was an expert on loom bracelets so i would help others make them and that was a confidenc#e boost; i remember being proud of myself for socializing like that LOL#i just get sad thinking about that time; i like to think that if little Lyss saw me; she would be so proud because i have friends;#a boyfriend ; good grades ; and i’m well liked and regarded. i hope she’s proud of my progress socially because it was such a leap#i wish i could go back in time and tell her how much better things get and how she won’t be lonely forever#…and to not online date. definetly don’t do that one.
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i miss my irls and my cat and my house this is so SICKKK what did i ever do to you, december
#vent ->#i am so homesick i havent seen my friends in forever. i had an incredibly good sunday i was looking forward to the next 2 weeks#and then you make me get FUCKING ARRESTED????#and i’m just so irked and i’m so sad why is nothing going right. don’t i deserve good things!!!!!#of course you do this to me when i’m not dreading school anymore and i’m actually enjoying the company of my new friends#so annoying. i’m just so sad i want to go home#i’d be fine with all of that but then you had to take away even my online buddies like what the hellll#if another person tells me to [ tolerate it for a little longer ] i might just explode in front of them#i just feel awfully bitter and alone and sad#💭
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Face to Face
Chapter 4: When You're Smiling and Astride Me
Fandom: Hades
Pairing: Thanatos/Zagreus
Rating: Mature
Chapter(s): 4/5
Words: 8765
AO3
Summary:
Thanatos can’t remember the last time he went on a date that wasn’t with his email inbox, so Charon sets about rectifying the situation by making him a profile on a dating app. Sifting through guys who fish and tourists looking for one night stands, Thanatos comes across his childhood best friend, who he hasn’t spoken to since their strange parting as teenagers. Thanzag modern AU, online dating.
It would have been easier if Thanatos had changed. If he’d become full of himself, like the stereotype of the successful finance guy that he is, or if he’d become one of those weird conspiracy theorists that have been cropping up all around lately. That is, if their friendship had been one of convenient proximity and not of genuine connection.
But he’d been just the same. Self-deprecating, dry yet somehow still affectionate, quick to fluster at Zagreus’ teasing. Exactly as they’d been as kids, climbing with their sandwiches to the top of the hill overlooking the ancient ruins in their neighbourhood, laughing at the tourists with their funny hats and single-use cameras. Just a little taller. Better-spoken, maybe. No longer nervously tossing too-long bangs out of his eyes. He wishes… he wishes he’d asked him about the last seven years, about something other than a college fling that had clearly meant so little that Thanatos had barely remembered the guy’s name. About who he spends time with on the weekends, and if he has a favourite coffee shop closer to work. If he still likes to read everything he can get his hands on. Whether he's been in love.
Achilles nudges him out of his thoughts – the stranger has bought the three of them shots. “You alright, lad?”
“Not sure,” Zagreus says truthfully as the bartender expertly flips his bottle of tequila and fills three shot glasses to the brim. Achilles’ admirer flashes a smile in their direction that doesn’t extend to Zagreus. They’re passed three limes by the bartender, and a moment and a ‘cheers’ later, the alcohol has burned its way to a warm place in Zagreus’ stomach.
He watches as Achilles leans in close to yell in the stranger’s ear, whose hand has migrated to the back of the barstool, thumb grazing Achilles’ shoulder periodically, and this annoys him, though Zag’s not sure why. He finishes his other drink that’s mostly melted ice at this point, but the guy behind the bar is busy again, so he thumbs through the menu. Checks his phone – an email’s come in, from Athena thanking them for their hard work on the grant they’d submitted this afternoon, and a text that’s an overly formal but expected request for a catch up lunch from Meg. He swears she must have a reminder in her calendar. First Friday of the month, check on Zagreus. Scheduled, just like everything else in her life. He slides his phone back in his pocket just in time to order another drink, and before long a margarita is in front of him, ice-cold and beading with condensation. By the time he finishes it, Achilles’ new friend’s hand has made it off the back of the chair and onto Achilles’ waist. Zagreus scowls and taps him on the shoulder.
“Should we dance?”
The booze is thick and heavy in his limbs as they make their way slowly to the most densely-packed part of the club, closest to the speakers and the dense, hard bass that slams into Zagreus’ heart with every beat. He’s not a very good dancer, but Achilles is, moving with ease, catching more than a few eyes around him. Zagreus can’t say he’s never thought about it before, especially back when he first joined the lab, assigned to be mentored directly by basically a demigod in a dress shirt. Even now, as Achilles tosses his hair and shoots a smile over his shoulder, there’s a twinge of something in the pit of Zag’s stomach.
And that’s when he spots him.
Keep reading on AO3
#don't look at that chapter count increasing ok#also I'm (sort of) back?#posting on tumblr for the first time in forever#grad school has been kind of killing me#my solution: being late getting to the lab to post this lmao#julia writes#thanatos/zagreus#thanzag#modern au#online dating au
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Vent in tags because I have nobody to talk to but need to get some feelings out. Sorry. Just ignore please ♡
#i feel like the most unwanted and unloved person on the face of the earth#I've been desperately trying to rekindle a friendship with the person I considered my best friend so I extended one final olive branch and#she just. she took that branch snapped it in half and set it on fire. literally. we were best friends all throughout high school but#at the beginning of this year she replaced me with someone she had just met like I never meant anything to her. and I just#I don't know what I've done wrong. I don't know why I'm so replaceable to people. I don't know I don't know I don't know but it really hurts#I'm nobody's favorite. nobody's first choice. hell probably not even anybody's second third or fourth choice#everybody ALWAYS leaves me eventually and I don't know why. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I don't know how to change it because nobody#ever tells me what I've done wrong. they just suddenly change attitudes or ghost me or abandon me without a care#I've lost literally every single non-familial connection I've ever had. every person I know irl has come and gone for reasons I genuinely#don't know. every online person either leaves me or isn't interested in forming more than a surface level connection. (which. I'm not saying#I'm forcing anyone to. I just crave a deep connection so badly and wish someone was willing to have one with me)#i really should be used to this by now. it's not the first time I've lost someone i thought would be in my life forever. but it really hurts#i need to get used to being alone. i need to stop bearing my entire heart to anyone willing to look at me. but i don't know how to#i just want to be loved#rye's cries#rye rambles
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😭💞 my best friend finally has an apartment which means, after almost a decade of being friends, we are FINALLY able to plan visiting each other for the first time
#personal#it may seem weird we havent met for this long to others but we have both been through a LOT#we became friends as teens online then i went to college and they went to tech school#then we both ended up unhoused#and i got housing and she found somewhere she wanted to live and we've been working towards her housing for ..... 2 years now?#(me involved bc ive been chatting and detailing and helping how i can)#so its never really been like. feasible.#but now i have home and income ans she is gonna have home and will be able to have steady income soon again#meaning we can plan it and see each other and OUAAAAAAAAAH#it hasn't fully set in yet but ik when it does im gonna collapse and sob#we've been through Literally our entire adult lives together#also when i say almost a decade i mean we celebrated 9 years last month#she is everything to me btw i adore her and frankly if i used the language she'd be a QPP for sure#but i like the undefined for us (: she's my bestie and my world is forever better with her in it
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Hello! Welcome to Quackstudents. A international hub where you can learn new languages and meet new people. This school is run by Miss Nina! The headmaster and teacher (which is a Vtuber)
Feel welcome to join our streams! We are language friendly and we can add translations for our classes! Learn Spanish, English, Portuguese, French and some other languages! This school uses streaming content such as characters and stories to teach. Feel welcomed in our school.
Clases vía Twitch!
#qsmp#qsmp fanart#qsmp forever#qsmp liveblog#qsmp eggs#qsmp badboyhalo#qsmp roier#qsmp cellbit#qsmp tallulah#qsmp richarlyson#quackity#school#learnenglish#online learning#language learning#vtuber
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I have to make a stupid bio for a group project i hate writing about myself thoooooo im just some guy i have cats leave me alone you dont need to know shit about me and you definitely dont need a selfie of me
#Like my problem with selfies now is not that i dont like how i look i do i know im hot i just dont want pictures of myself online because#Im paranoidddd like#Also i gotta start sticking up when i get misgendered in my classes im just like its not worth it right now but i am judging people you kno#Like christ ill start t i get it i have a high voice but maybe you could like chill on the assumptions plz and thank you cishet women#Anyways good morning bitching and moaning about school is forever
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